This chapter serves two purposes:

• to present a running theme of people across history in near-endless professions and domains hiding who they really are and the lengths they’ve gone to keep it that way

• to call Josh from Kiwi Farms a faggot living in the closet

Never mind his edgier-than-theoretical-geometry takes on race, his inability to ever admit he was wrong or made a mistake, being wholly removed from the American experience and is spiritually a man without a country, kneejerk aversion to anime and eyes on the side of his head like a herbivore or the reality that all lolcows have a funny voice

To speak on behalf of women, to assert and insist that they love small, aristocratic penis is whatever is beyond sussy baka. Like a J-Pop ot K-Pop idol avoiding all mention of relationships to give the illusion of a (male) listener having a chance with them and justifying their dork ass yearnings and fantasies - Josh knows that he’ll lose a significant portion of his following if he steps out the closet

The way he speaks of women, his childish take on relationships and zero anecdotal words or life experience within a (heterosexual) relationship makes that whole “I know what women want and it’s small penises” line funny, both ‘ha ha’ pulmonary embolism funny

Also, while unrelated it does shine a light on his “I’ve been online longer than anyone else” gimmick. He calls anyone who browses /pol/ a “/pol/tard” which is a term given to them from something other than imageboard culture. Every board had a call sign, those on /pol/ were /pol/acks, those on /tg/ were fa/tg/guys. Those on /b/ were /b/tards. Yet someone who prides himself on being the cloth from which all oldfags are cut from throwing around /pol/tard makes more sense than sublimating his homosexuality and possible tiny cock anxieties by insisting he - of all people - know what women want

All things considered, Kiwi Farms is pretty neat despite more than a few on there freaking the fuck out whenever you post a link to a news article about white women fucking dogs or (white) teachers sleeping with students. A legion of lolicon enthusiasts with anime pfps will insist the only people who criticize white women are brown, gay or Jewish. Only Rusty Cage is allowed to say that, I think. That’s pretty funny (like gluing a dead wasp to your hand and slapping someone in the back of the head before telling them you saved their life funny)

Willing to concede all of this if it turns out his screeching about women wanting tiny cocks is cope, but the rest of this chapter still stands on its own merits. Maybe I should’ve just named the chapter “The Rock prostitutes himself for roles”

Without further ado:

Some people still live in the closet, some people died in the closet

Amy Alcott - Winner of 5 Majors

Pat Griffin, Strong Women, Deep Closets (1998), page 85: “Patty Sheehan and Amy Alcott insisted that it (meaning being a lesbian) is a private matter”

William Allain - Governor of Mississippi, 1984-88

Persistent rumors of homosexuality. These rumors are, however, tainted by political motives: he was the target of a smear campaign by his Republican opponents. Allain’s attorney obtained in 1984 sworn statements by three male prostitutes who previously made allegations of homosexual activity with Allain, that their earlier allegations were invented. Allain did not run for reelection in 1987

Bob Allen - Florida State Representative, 2000-08

Guilty of offering a male undercover cop $20 to perform oral sex on the cop

Jean Arthur - Only Angels Have Wings (also, Director Frank Capra’s favorite actress)

Donald Spoto, Blue Angel: The Life of Marlene Dietrich‎ (1992), “Charter member of America’s creative lesbian community.” Boze Hadleigh, Behind the Screen (2001), “Yes, Anna Q. Nilsson may have been a lesbian, and so might have Jean Arthur. Burt Lancaster may have had affairs with men, and Henry Wilcoxon may have routinely picked up male hitchhikers for sex. But beyond a few anecdotes, their stories offer little to illuminate what life was like for gay men and lesbians of Hollywood.” Paul Rosner’s roman à clef, The Princess and the Goblin (1966), purportedly about Arthur’s relationship with Mary Martin, is entirely invented

André Bauer - Lt. Governor of South Carolina

Adam Beam, “Lt. Gov. Bauer: Let’s Move Forward”, The State (Columbia, South Carolina), 30 June 2009: “During an interview Monday, Bauer, who is a bachelor, voluntarily brought up the subject of his sexual orientation, which he said has been the subject of rumors. Asked, then, if he’s homosexual, Bauer said: One word, two letters. No. Let’s go ahead and dispel that now.” Why a denial of homosexuality was necessary was unclear. And on 31 August 2009 he was described as “a closeted anti-gay politician” by BlogActive, the same site that outed Larry Craig as gay and Mark Foley as “hitting on men half his age” before either man’s proclivity was reported in mainstream media

Larry Birkhead - Impregnated Anna Nicole Smith

One individual, Kerrick Ross, an obscure male model from Louisville, has claimed to have slept with Birkhead over a span of two months in 2000. Ross told the National Enquirer in April 2007, “America doesn’t know the whole story about Larry Birkhead... He apparently had sex with Anna Nicole and fathered her baby, but there is no question: He also had sex with me! We were together for about two months and had sex 8 to 10 times, always at my apartment. He often spent the whole night with me.” Birkhead has hired attorney Martin Singer to file lawsuits over this allegation

David L. Boren - Oklahoma National Guard (1968-74)

W. Scott Thompson, The Price of Achievement: Coming Out in Reagan Days (1995), pp. 222-23

James Buchanan - 15th US President, 1857-61

“I am now ‘solitary & alone’, having no companion in the house with me. I have gone a wooing to several gentlemen, but have not succeeded with any one of them. I feel that it is not good for man to be alone; and should not be astonished to find myself married to some old maid who can nurse me when I am sick, provide good dinners for me when I am well & not expect from me any very ardent or romantic affection” Letter to Mrs. Cornelia Roosevelt, 13 May 1844

Tevin Campbell - Always In My Heart

Solicitation 07/08/1999 (convicted, paid fine, soliciting a lewd act upon a male officer, Van Nuys, CA)

Tracy Chapman - Fast Car

General consensus is that Chapman is a lesbian. Her name is sometimes linked to Alice Walker, author of The Color Purple, and who is known to be bisexual. In the mid-1990s Chapman did lend $60,000 to Walker’s daughter, Rebecca Walker, to help found the Kokobar Cafe in New York City (New York Times, 8 June 1997)

Alex Chiu - Inventor of magnetic immortality rings

[In reference to his cat] “He became the love of my life... I open 3 cans of cat food for him every meal, and I treat him well. If God wants me to choose between this guy or a beautiful woman like Hilary Duff, I will dump the girl and be with my cat”

Larry Craig - US Senator from Idaho, 1990-2009

A long-time outspoken conservative, Larry Craig was “outed” by gay activist Mike Rogers. Rogers has not revealed his sources, and Craig denies the claim. On 17 October 2006, Rogers wrote in his blog, “I have done extensive research into this case, including trips to the Pacific Northwest to meet with men who have say they have physical relations with the Senator. I have also met with a man here in Washington, D.C., who says the same -- and that these incidents occurred in the bathrooms of Union Station. None of these men know each other, or knew that I was talking to others. They all reported similar personal characteristics about the Senator, which lead me to believe, beyond any doubt, that their stories are valid.” At a press conference on 28 August 2007, Craig insisted: “I am not gay. I never have been gay”

Cindy Crawford - House of Style

While she has never announced her sexual preference, her marriage to Richard Gere was widely whispered to be a publicity ploy to hide his and her homosexuality. Crawford was caught by paparazzi kissing Christy Turlington behind a New York nightclub in 1991

Charlie Crist - Governor of Florida, 2007-11

Bob Norman, “Crist Denies Trysts II”, Broward Palm Beach New Times, 10 November 2006: “Last week, I reported that 21-year-old GOP staffer Jason Wetherington had claimed to credible sources that he had a sexual relationship with the 50-year-old Crist and had identified the frontrunner’s ‘long-term partner’ as Bruce Carlton Jordan, who remains on state probation after serving a 30-day jail sentence for a conviction on grand theft and forgery charges... Crist has repeatedly denied that he is gay”

Paul Crouch - Trinity Broadcasting Network

William Lobdell, “Televangelist Paul Crouch Attempts to Keep Accuser Quiet: A Former Worker at TBN Threatened to Disclose an Alleged 1996 Homosexual Encounter”, The Los Angeles Times, 12 September 2004: “After Ford threatened to sue TBN in 1998, claiming that he had been unjustly fired, Crouch reached a $425,000 settlement with him. In return, Ford agreed, among other things, not to discuss his claim about a sexual encounter with the TV preacher”

Tom Cruise - Flamboyant Scientologist

With his dashing good looks, his youthful interest in wrestling, and two adopted but no biological children from his first two marriages, many of Cruise’s fans and detractors have long questioned his sexuality. He has filed lawsuits against several people and publications that claimed he is homosexual. In 2001, Cruise sued Bold magazine publisher Michael Davis, who had offered a $500-million bounty for compromising photos of a cruisy Cruise, and claimed to have obtained a videotape of Cruise on a big gay tear. The magazine quickly published a retraction, and Cruise dropped his suit in exchange for a promise from Davis to never again state or imply that Cruise is anything but a heterosexual. The agreement also stipulated that “Plaintiff, Tom Cruise, does not appear on the videotape to which said defendant referred in his statement... Plaintiff is not, and never has been, homosexual and has never had a homosexual affair”. Cruise also sued Chad Slater (aka Kyle Bradford), a gay porn actor and “erotic wrestler” who had been quoted in an interview with Actustar, a French fan magazine, saying he had an affair with Cruise. After being served with Cruise’s lawsuit, Slater said that the interview had been fabricated by the magazine, and the magazine published a retraction. Cruise eventually won a $17-million verdict against the virtually penniless pornstar. While married to actress Nicole Kidman, Cruise also sued the Star supermarket tabloid, after it published a story claiming they had needed a sex coach for their steamy scenes in Stanley Kubrick’s film, Eyes Wide Shut. That lawsuit was also settled, with a retraction by the Star and an unspecified donation to a charity of Cruise and Kidman’s choice. They also sued London’s Express tabloid, over similar allegations that their marriage was a sham to hide the homosexuality of one or both of the stars. The Express had also alleged that Cruise was either impotent or sterile. The paper paid £350,000 and apologized. In 2005, Cruise was suddenly linked with actress Katie Holmes, who is 16 years younger than he. Just weeks after they began dating, he famously proclaimed his love for her while jumping on the couch on The Oprah Winfrey Show. Cruise & Holmes quickly became Hollywood’s “it couple”, with their photos everywhere, usually mid-smooch. In 2006, in a Scientology-proscribed silent operation, Holmes gave birth to a daughter, Suri, and seven months later Cruise and Holmes were married. She filed for divorce in 2012. Rumors circulated, heatedly denied by Cruise, that in the weeks before announcing his love for Holmes in 2005, Cruise and/or the Church of Scientology had “auditioned” Jessica Alba, Scarlett Johansson, Kate Bosworth and Jennifer Garner as potential romantic partners for Cruise. A 2012 article in Vanity Fair reported that an Iranian-born but London-bred actress named Nazanin Boniadi had been extensively vetted by the Church and dated Cruise in late 2004 and early 2005, but was passed over when she told Church officials that she was uncomfortable with public displays of affection

Jack Davenport - Steve Taylor on Coupling

There have been whispers that he is gay, mostly fueled by his pre-marriage habit of frequenting gay pubs. Davenport generally shrugs off such talk, explaining only that gay nightclubs offer better dance music

Nelson Eddy - Phantom of the Opera

Eddy was gay according to Louella Parsons: “The big laugh in Hollywood these days is Nelson Eddy’s feminine pursuers... Come on, Mr. Eddy, even the hinterlands are wise to you.” Quoted by William J. Mann, Behind the Screen, p. 154

Zhou Enlai - Mao’s right hand man

Tsoi Wing-mui, The Secret Emotional Life of Zhou Enlai (to be published 2016 in Hong Kong). Quoted by Juliana Liu for the BBC website, 30 December 2015, “[Tsoi] writes that the premier was gay, and harboured a lifelong love for Li Fujing, a family friend and classmate two years his junior”

Maurice Evans - Dr. Zaius in Planet of the Apes

Persistent rumors of homosexuality. According to Andrej Koymasky, “His friend and business manager David ‘Taffy’ Barlow, a former lover himself until he got too old, made Maurice’s last days all the more comfortable by hiring teenaged rent boys to strip down and lie in the bed with him. This quite shocked some of his deathbed visitors”

Gustave Flaubert - Realist novelist, Madame Bovary

“That jerking off of one gentleman by another in a public urinal has entranced the Capital of the Civilized World for a fortnight. Neither the most beautiful works of art nor the greatest scientific discoveries ever generated such excitement when they burst on the world” [Quoted in Speakeasy, May 2004, p. 27]

Liam Fox - UK Conservative Party Co-Chair

Repeated speculations of past bisexuality

Anne Frank - that thing written in ballpoint pen after she died

The Diary of a Young Girl: The Definitive Edition (1995), by Anne Frank, edited by Otto Frank and Mirjam Pressler, translated by Susan Massotty. The book is a new edition, containing previously unpublished passages. Diary entry, Wednesday, 5 January 1944: “Once when I was spending the night at Jacque’s, I could no longer restrain my curiosity about her body, which she’d always hidden from me and which I’d never seen. I asked her whether, as proof of our friendship, we could touch each other’s breasts. Jacque refused. I also had a terrible desire to kiss her, which I did. Every time I see a female nude, such as the Venus in my art history book, I go into ecstasy. Sometimes I find them so exquisite I have to struggle to hold back my tears. If only I had a girlfriend!”

Anna Freud - Daughter of Sigmund Freud

Although denying it until her death in 1982, Anna Freud was probably a lesbian. In particular, it is thought that she had a long-term relationship with Dorothy T. Burlingham, with whom she purchased a country cottage in Semmering, Austria

Terry Gross - Host of Fresh Air on NPR

Relishes that her sexual orientation is a matter of public dispute. From the introduction to her book All I Did Was Ask (2004): “My mother-in-law came with us [to a reception], and at one point I saw her laughing at something the wife of one of the other fellows had just said to her. She later explained that the woman had pointed at me and whispered, “Terry Gross is here. Did you know she’s a lesbian?” That’s one of the reasons I love working on radio: You might be a public figure but you’re essentially just a voice, and this lets each person who listens form whatever image of you he or she wants-tall or short, fat or thin, sex bomb or schoolmarm, straight or gay”

Jörg Haider - Austrian extreme rightist

Kate Connolly, “Haider is Gay, Says German Report”, The Guardian, 24 March 2000: “A report in the leftwing Berlin Tageszeitung, or Taz, headlined “Jörg Simply Wants a Cuddle”, and repeated in the Austrian daily Der Standard yesterday, says that the gay community in Austria has had evidence that Mr. Haider is gay for some time. But, say the newspapers, it has been reluctant to release the evidence, fearing an outburst of hate towards the gay community “that would overtake the hatred towards foreigners” [...] According to Taz, many members of Vienna’s gay scene are ready to confirm the reports. They claim he regularly has sex with young men below the age of consent - 18 for homosexuals. As a result, says Taz: “These days he prefers to meet with boys from nearby Slovakia” (where the age of consent is 15)

Ed Koch - Mayor of New York City, 1978-89

“No, I am not a homosexual. If I were a homosexual, I would hope I would have the courage to say so. What’s cruel is that you are forcing me to say I am not a homosexual. This means you are putting homosexuals down. I don’t want to do that”

Rudolf Hess - Deputy Fuhrer flew unauthorized to Scotland

Lothar Machtan, The Hidden Hitler (2002), page 229

Tom Hulce - Amadeus

Interview with Eric Andrews-Katz, Seattle Gay News, 3 October 2008. Asked about a reported marriage to Cecilia Ermini yielding a daughter Anya, he responded, “That information -- having a wife and child -- is false. In the world of the internet, there are many falsehoods. Anyone can write stuff on Wikipedia and it doesn’t have to be true.” Responding to the fact that he appears on lists of gay actors, “I’m comfortable being among the lists although I stopped acting about 10 years ago”

Sandy Hume - The Hill Correspondent, 1996-98

Widely reported rumors of a homosexual affair with Bill Paxon

John Ireland - The Holy Boy

Ireland regretted immediately his marriage, which he never consummated. His assistant and companion, Norah Kirkby, destroyed portions of Ireland’s papers and correspondence upon his death, donating the remainder to the British Library. But see Fiona Richards, “An Anthology of Friendship: The Letters of John Ireland to Father Kenneth Thompson”, in Queer Episodes in Music and Modern Identity (2002): “Despite his brief and ultimately unsuccessful relationships with women, there is no doubt that Ireland was considerably more interested in men, specifically much younger men. There is, however, no direct evidence that Ireland ever had a close sexual relationship with a man or a boy, and he did not particularly mix in homosexual circles. He was a very private figure, and because of this and the problems involved in extracting relevant information, there has never been any truly open discussion of Ireland’s personal life. In particular, there has been little written about his religious convictions or his sexuality.” The article covers the subject in some depth

Michael Jackson - King of Pop

Liberace’s adopted boy/plaything Scott Thorson told The National Enquirer in April 2004 that he and Michael Jackson had sex in 1979, and later pursued an affair in the early ‘80s

Joan Jett - I Love Rock ‘N Roll

Although frequently rumored to be a lesbian, Jett refuses to discuss her sexual orientation. In response to rumors that she was an open lesbian, she told the Palm Springs Desert Sun: “I never made any kind of statement about my personal life on any level. I never made any proclamations. So I don’t know where people are getting that from”

John Kasich - Governor of Ohio 2011 - 2019

Persistent rumors of homosexuality dating back to the mid 1990s. Karen Tumulty, “The Baiting Game”, Time 14 October 1996: “For almost 14 years it had passed without comment that the local Congressman, John Kasich, the powerful chairman of the House Budget Committee, stretches his paycheck by sharing a Virginia town house for the two or three nights a week that Congress is in session. His housemate? His male chief of staff. Last month Cynthia Ruccia, Kasich’s Democratic challenger, called for a Justice Department investigation of what she said was ‘a serious appearance of impropriety’ because Kasich, who is divorced, lived with someone whose government salary he controls”

Troy King - Attorney General of Alabama, 2004-11

Ann Turner, “Alabama Republican Attorney General Troy King Caught in Gay Sex Scandal”, GayWired.com, 11 July 2008: “After being caught having sex with his male aide by his wife, Alabama Attorney General Troy King was reportedly banished from his home in Montgomery by his infuriated spouse, according to PerezHilton.com. Although reports about the scandal are sketchy and the events have yet to be confirmed by official sources, some media outlets are reporting that King is preparing to resign over the affair.” King’s people deny the story but according to “McCain Scrubs King From Website”, EDGE (Boston), 12 July 2008, McCain campaign has removed mentions of King from their websites. King is chairman of McCain’s Alabama Leadership Team.

Herb Kohl - US Senator from Wisconsin, 1989-2013

A Milwaukee weekly newspaper, the Shepherd Express has indicated that Kohl is gay, as have gay community leaders in that city, and repeated scuttlebut by insiders. His response to this label was reportedly, “I am not a gay man OR a lesbian.” Thus the most we can say is possibly gay - hence the “Matter of Dispute”

Sandy Koufax - Three-time Cy Young Award winner

Keith Olbermann, “Rupert Murdoch strikes out: With the Sandy Koufax gay rumor, the News Corp. synergy sewer finally overflows”, Salon, 22 February 2003, citing a 19 December 2002 blind item in the New York Post which could only refer to Jane Leavy and Koufax, reading “Which Hall of Fame baseball hero cooperated with a best-selling biography only because the author promised to keep it secret that he is gay? The author kept her word, but big mouths at the publishing house can’t keep from flapping.” Additional details in Michael Bronski, “Sandy Koufax Outing Gets Another Inning”, The Phoenix, 27 February 2003

Karl Lagerfeld - Chanel, Lagerfeld

Apparent admission of homosexuality in the documentary Lagerfeld Confidential (2007). He has in the past, however, claimed latent heterosexuality or asexuality. See Harriet Shapiro, “Tout Paris Applauds the Fashionable Vision of Karl Lagerfeld”, People, 11 June 1984: “I [liked women] when I was very young, but I quickly realized I didn’t want any kind of human liaison. Perhaps I put my passion into other things.” Also, Vanessa Grigoriadis, “Karl Lagerfeld, Boy Prince of Fashion”, New York magazine, 6 February 2006: “[Lagerfeld] doesn’t talk about his sexual orientation and maintains that he never had sexual congress with the man he calls the love of his life, the Parisian It dandy Jacques de Bascher, who called Lagerfeld Mein Kaiser and died of AIDS in 1989”

Chris Lee - Congressman from New York, resigned

Remy Stern, “The Craigslist Congressman and the Crossdressing Prostitute”, Gawker, 25 February 2011: “In the past two weeks, two DC-area transgender women contacted us, each with a separate story about exchanging emails with the ex-congressman. One sent us an ad that Lee allegedly posted on Craigslist in search of trans women; the other sent us a never before seen photo that she says Lee sent her after they started chatting by email. Taken together, they present a possible explanation to those who have wondered why such a tame ‘sex scandal’ forced Lee’s hand so quickly”

John Lennon - dirtiest hippie of the bunch, adulterer, wife beater, yellow fever pioneer kid-on-a-leash enthusiast and tried to steal Frank Zappa’s King Kong by renaming it ‘Jam Rag’ like a stupid faggot what else should anyone expect from John Beatle?

Geoffrey Giuliano, Lennon in America (2000), describing Lennon’s time in Thailand: “Having come from a working class life in Liverpool, orientals were exotic and erotic for John. Also he had a bisexual side. John was sexually drawn to [Asian] women and -- to a certain extent -- men. They were culturally different and exciting to him.” See also Cynthia Lennon, John (2005), denying this: “Claims have been made since [by Geoffrey Giuliano, Albert Goldman, etc.] that Brian [Epstein] and John did have a gay relationship. Nothing could be further from the truth. John was 100-percent heterosexual and, like most lads at that time, horrified by the idea of homosexuality.”

There is a line in A Hard Day’s Night in which the character representing Brian Epstein threatens John Lennon by saying “I’ll tell them all about you, John Lennon.” This is generally believed to be a reference to the oft-rumored night of love the real Brian Epstein shared with John Beatle

Margaret Lindsay - The House of the Seven Gables

While her sexuality is the subject of frequent speculation among film scholars and Hollywood gossip mongers, there is no extant evidence that Margaret Lindsay involved herself in any lesbian doings

Eddie Long - Georgia Baptist minister

Subject of four separate lawsuits filed September 2010 by former male parishioners, alleging that Long gave them gifts of cars and international travel, while coercing them into sex

Eric Massa - Congressman from New York, 2009-10

Resigned midway through his only term in Congress, under pressure from colleagues in his own Democratic Party over allegations that Massa sexually harassed a member of his staff and groped “multiple male staffers” in Congress. Without admitting or apologizing for anything, Massa’s resignation announcement said he wanted to avoid an investigation that might “tear my family and my staff apart.” After he quit, numerous former staff members claimed that Massa had “touched them in a sexual manner, came up with reasons to have staffers travel alone with him on overnight trips, and expressed a desire to have sex with the men in the office”

Joseph McCarthy - US Senator from Wisconsin, 1947-57

In October 1952, Las Vegas Sun columnist Hank Greenspun wrote: Joe McCarthy is a bachelor of 43 years. [...] He seldom dates girls and if he does he laughingly describes it as window dressing. It is common talk among homosexuals in Milwaukee who rendezvous in the White Horse Inn that Senator Joe McCarthy has often engaged in homosexual activities. Another Greenspun article alleged: The Young Republicans held a state convention in Wausua, Wis., at which Sen. McCarthy was an honored guest. During the convention, McCarthy spent the night with William McMahon, formerly an official of the Milwaukee County Young Republicans, in a Eausua hotel room, at which time, McCarthy and McMahon engaged in illicit acts with each other. McCarthy briefly considered filing a suit but took no action, because it would have meant testifying about his sexual predilections. Instead, he married his research assistant Jeannie Kerr and they adopted a baby girl

Donnie McClurkin - Gospel singer, former homosexual

Fathered a child out of wedlock circa 2000. In a PBS interview given in 2005, claims to no longer be gay. In another interview, he elaborates: “There was a big 20-year gap of sexual ambiguity where after the rape my desires were toward men, and I had to fight those things because I knew that it wasn’t what we were taught in church was right. And the older I got, the more that became a problem, because those were the first two sexual relationships that I had. Eight years old and 13 years old. So that’s what I was molded into. And I fought that. When I tell you from eight to 28, that was my fight - in the church. And you were in an environment where there were hidden, you know, vultures I call them, that are hidden behind frocks and behind collars and behind - you know, reverends and the deacons, and it becomes a preying ground, a place where the prey is hunted, and that was what it was like”

Jim McCrery - Congressman from Louisiana, 1989-2009

Chris Bull, “The Outing of a Family Values Congressman: US Representative Jim McCrery’s Double Life”, The Advocate, 22 September 1992, cover story of that issue which begins: “In late 1982, Jim McCrery and Gary Cathey were sitting together at Pyramid, a gay club in Lower Manhattan, watching go-go boys gyrate on the stage. Cathey, a young designer, and McCrery, and ambitious attorney and political aide from Louisiana, had been involved in a sexual relationship since shortly after meeting at a fraternity party at Louisiana Tech University in Ruston in autumn 1975”

Mika - Lebanese Britpop singer

Tony Grew, “Brit pop star won’t say which way he swings”, Pink News, 24 January 2007: “I never talk about anything to do with my sexuality. I just don’t think I need to. People ask me all the time. But I just don’t see the point... In order to survive I’ve kind of shut up different parts of my life, and that’s one of them, especially this early in my career”

Eddie Murphy - Beverly Hills Cop

In the early hours of 2 May 1997, Murphy was driving his wife’s SUV down Santa Monica Boulevard in West Hollywood. Murphy pulled over, and a transvestite hooker named Atisone Kenneth Seiuli (or “Shalomar”) got in. They drove off together, but didn’t get far before Murphy was pulled over by a Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department squad car. The cops spent half an hour talking amiably with Murphy, warning him about the neighborhood and perhaps getting his autograph before shaking his hand and letting him go. Seiuli, though, was arrested on an outstanding warrant for violating probation on an earlier prostitution charge. As quick as Seiuli could post bail, the story was in the tabloids. According to Seiuli, in their brief conversation in the vehicle, Murphy had put two hundred-dollar bills on her leg, and “asked me if I did this for a living, being a transsexual prostitute. I said yes. Eddie said, ‘Do you like to wear lingerie?’ I said yes. He said, ‘Can I see you in lingerie?’ I told him, ‘Whenever I have the time.’ He said, ‘I’ll make the time.’ “Then he asked me, ‘What type of sex do you like?’ I said I was into everything.” Or at least, that was Seiuli’s story. Murphy’s version was, not surprisingly, not the same. “I’m married with three children. I’m not going to be out there screwing hookers off the street or anything like that. I’m just being a nice guy... I was being a good Samaritan. It’s not the first hooker I’ve helped out. I’ve seen hookers on corners... and I’ll pull over... and they’ll go, Oh you’re Eddie Murphy, oh my God, and I’ll empty my wallet out to help”. The next weekend, Saturday Night Live aired a sketch titled, “Good Samaritan Eddie Murphy,” with Tim Meadows as Murphy, ferrying transsexuals throughout metropolitan Los Angeles, out of the goodness of his heart. One by one, a parade of local transvestite escorts chatted with The Globe, The National Enquirer, and more mainstream publications such as Gay & Lesbian Times, telling about their assorted encounters with Murphy. Several subsequently recanted their stories, and were reportedly well paid to do so by a man connected with Murphy’s lawyer. Murphy sued the tabloids, but later quietly settled. Candace Watkins, a purported mother figure to several of the transsexuals involved, later wrote In the Closet with Eddie Murphy under the pen name Carnal Candy. The book was filled with tales from Watkin’s girlfriends about their alleged liaisons with Murphy. On 22 April 1998, Seiuli, wearing only a black bra padded a leather bikini thong (both from Frederick’s of Hollywood) was found dead under her fifth-floor apartment window. She had apparently locked herself out of her apartment, tried sneaking in through an open window, and fallen to her death. There is no reasonable insinuation that Murphy was involved in Seiuli’s death

Pierre Pettigrew - Canadian Foreign Minister, 2004-06

Has taken his chauffer, Bruno Labonté, on ‘overseas trips’

Al Reynolds - Husband of Star Jones

From Gawker: “All men should exorcise their demons before getting married, especially if those demons include an affinity for Vegas gay bars and white speedos. Just follow the lead of Star Jones’ fiancee Al Reynolds”

Condoleezza Rice - US Secretary of State, 2005-09

“Gay Rumours Eclipse Condi’s Glory Moment”, The Sunday Times (London), 2 December 2007. Quoting Anne Roifes, “It is widely believed in gay circles that Condi is a lesbian... that could be one reason she will not run [for Presidential nomination].” Also, “First Clinton, Now Condi... Murdoch Papers Go Lesbian Mad”, The First Post, 3 December 2007, mentioning reports that Rice as Provost at Stanford “was completely out as a lesbian and it was not a scandal, just a reality” and her purchase, with Randy Bean (an unmarried woman), of a house together. Ms. Bean stated that the property was an investment, not a cohabitation

Bruce Ritter - Disgraced priest

“I am profoundly saddened by the allegations against me and the need to deny them constantly. I have no way of proving my innocence. My accusers cannot establish my guilt. I devoutly hope the inquiries under way will bring an end to this incredibly painful chapter in my life.”

A commissioned report by Kroll Associates determined that Father Bruce had engaged in sexual misconduct with runaway boys at Covenant House. Their report claimed that Ritter’s sexcapades reached back to at least 1970. The church’s subsequent plan to ship Father Bruce off to India was scrapped after it became known in 1991

Michael Savage - Savage Nation

One of his books was a work of fiction called Vital Signs, in which the protagonist wrestles with his attraction to masculine beauty. “I choose to override my desires for men when they swell in me”, Weiner wrote, “waiting out the passions like a storm, below decks.” At one time, Weiner self-published his own zines featuring inflammatory pieces about gay sex at San Francisco bathhouses. He was apparently opposed to such things. But he was a friend of beat poet Allen Ginsberg, the very, very out gay author of Howl. In a 1970 letter to Ginsberg, someone signed Michael Weiner described a semi-erotic encounter he had had with another man in Fiji. Weiner says he did not write the letter, though the return address was in Honolulu, where Weiner resided at the time

Edward L. Schrock - Congressman from Virginia, 2001-05

In November 2000, Republican state senator Ed Schrock won a Congressional race in one of the most conservative districts in the country -- the Virginia 2nd, home to the headquarters of televangelist Pat Robertson. But on August 19, 2004, blogACTIVE attempted to out Schrock as a consumer of gay phone sex

ACTION: Write Congressman Ed Schrock and ask how he can cruise for gay men and then co-sponsor the Federal Marriage Amendment. When the story of Congressman Ed Schrock (R-VA-2) first came to me, I was quite skeptical. After all, Congressman Schrock’s district includes parts of Hampton and Norfolk and all of Virginia Beach, home to no less than NINE military facilities and Pat Robertson’s Regent University! Nevertheless, the activities of Congressman Schrock have been documented and verified as thoroughly as any I have seen come before me and what I have learned is, well, ScHrOCKING! Congressman Ed Schrock has made a habit of rendezvousing with gay men via the MegaMates/MegaPhone Line, an interactive telephone service on which men place ads and respond to those ads to meet each other. What makes this story more amazing? Congressman Schrock not only voted for the homophobic Marriage Protection Act, but he also signed on as a CO-SPONSOR of the Federal Marriage Amendment! Ed Schrock has a voting record that the most far right conservative would be proud of. The Christian Coalition gave him a 92% rating in their 2003 voting guide.

Eleven days later, Schrock unexpectedly announced that he would not be seeking re-election this year. It was only three days before the filing deadline, throwing the state Republican leadership into disarray

Aleksandr Scriabin - Prometheus: The Poem of Fire

Faubion Bowers, Scriabin: A Biography (2nd Edition, 1996), pp. 68-69: “Even today within these post-Freudian latitudes, to impute homosexuality -- latent, passive, or ultimately triumphed over, as it was in Scriabin’s case, in my opinion - still it would be recreant to shirk a rather homosexual interpretation of Scriabin’s life. Incontrovertible proof cannot now be dredged up from the past, but so many signposts there seem to be”

Darryl Stephens - Noah’s Arc

Interview by Gregg Shapiro, “Gay Series Changing Darryl Stephens’ Career Arc”, After Ellen, 17 August 2006. In the interview, Shapiro referred to him as gay, prompting this response: “I don’t discuss my sexuality with the press. For me, it’s a matter of you can see the work and make your own assumptions. But because of the stage I’m at in my career, I don’t see any relevance in talking about my personal life”

Lee Tamahori - Once Were Warriors

Arrested on 8 January 2006 in a police sting after allegedly approaching an undercover officer and prostituting himself. Tamahori was dressed in drag at the time and had been loitering on Santa Monica Boulevard, where the officer’s car was parked

Cecil Taylor - Avant-garde jazz pianist

Andrew Velez, “Jazz Variations”, The Advocate, 13 February 2001, calls Taylor a “gay iconoclastic keyboard man.” See also John Gennari, Blowin’ Hot and Cool: Jazz and Its Critics (2006), page 355: “One of the many firestorms Stanley Crouch has ignited in the New York jazz world came in 1982 when he outed avant-garde pianist Cecil Taylor as gay, suggesting that his sexual orientation explained why Taylor couldn’t swing. Taylor later recorded a percussion-and-verse diatribe against Crouch”

Henry David Thoreau - Walden

Walter Harding, “Thoreau’s Sexuality”, Journal of Homosexuality, 21.3 (1991): 23-45. Based primarily on journal writings, Harding theorizes that Thoreau was primarily attracted to males, but likely celibate particularly towards the end of his life. See also passages from Thoreau’s writing, e.g., Friendship, regarding love among men: “Two sturdy oaks I mean, which side by side / Withstand the winter’s storm... Admiring you shall find / Their roots are intertwined / Inseparably.” It should be noted that in 1840 Thoreau by letter proposed marriage to a family friend, Ellen Sewall, months after Thoreau’s brother John had proposed to her as well. Both brothers were rejected. It is likely that Thoreau died a virgin. In 1857 he scribed in his journal, “All nature is my bride”

Clyde Tolson - J. Edgar Hoover’s 40-year companion

When J. Edgar Hoover died, he left nearly everything to Tolson. Tolson was even the beneficiary of Hoover’s life insurance policy (listed relationship: “FBI Associate”). They lived in the same apartment. Tolson’s grave is even next to Hoover’s

John Travolta - Saturday Night Fever

Rumors have circulated for years, but took on new strength when paparazzi photos of Travolta kissing Jeff Kathrein on the lips were uncovered by TMZ in 2006, now widely distributed. While nobody denies Travolta is happily married, the photograph is difficult to explain in light of the fact that American-born men do not generally greet other men in that manner. See also Owen Thomas, “Travolta’s Rumored Gay Lover Discovered Dead Son”, Gawker, 3 January 2009

Bernie Ward - Former KGO talk show host

Surmised from chat logs printed in Ward’s police report, Oakdale Police Department, 23 December 2004. Ward describes an experience he had at the Palm Theater in San Mateo, engaging in sex play with other males at the back of the theater. Though he is slave to a female mistress, and large portions of the chat are obvious role playing (fictitious events mixed with real ones), a recurring theme of homosexuality persists

Douglas Wilson - Interior decorator on Trading Spaces

“They Survived Doug and Hildi: Drama in Real Life”, Lord of the Crumbs, 9 March 2005. “Paige [Davis] tried to calm him down, and Doug [Wilson] was sent to apologize. “Listen... I’m gay myself, I didn’t mean anything by it.” Admittedly, this isn’t a very convincing source, essentially being hearsay. In an interview by Jim Crescitelli, “Keeping Up Appearances”, Watermark, 25 April 2002, Wilson is asked about the “gay aesthetic” and replies revealing very little, “Gays are a major part of interior fashion and design in regards to consumers. I think gay men are more inclined to have a certain sophistication when it comes to these ideas.” A different Douglas Wilson (1950-1992) was a gay activist in Saskatchewan, Canada

While harder to prove than the names above, it is much more than likely the following people also live(d) in the closet:

Louie Anderson, Juana de Asbaje, G. Harrold Carswell, Ludwig van Beethoven, Rosa Bonheur, Lizzie Borden, Sandro Botticelli, Sir Richard Burton, Caravaggio, Mary Carillo, Mary Cassatt, King Charles XII, Helen Clark, Correggio, Dolores del Rio, Emily Dickinson, Dirk Dirksen, Rocco DiSpirito, Donatello, David Dreier, Clea DuVall, Amelia Earhart, Prince Edward, Erté, Alois Estermann, Edna Ferber, Gustave Flaubert, Errol Flynn, Steven Ford, Hans Frank, Frederick the Great, George Gershwin, Gary Glitter, Lindsey Graham, James Grauerholz, Steve Guttenberg, Steve Harris, Edward Heath, David Helfgott, Heinrich Himmler, Gary Hirte, Langston Hughes, Zora Neale Hurston, King James I, Warren Jeffs, Duane ‘The Rock’ Johnson, Koko, Frank Langella, Queen Latifah, T. E. Lawrence, Annie Leibovitz, Nicole Lenz, Carl Lewis, Chris Lowe, Moms Mabley, Erika Mann, Princess Margaret, Hattie McDaniel, Claude McKay, William McMahon, Mehmed the Conqueror, Erik Menendez, Mika, Barbara Mikulski, Betty Montgomery, Joshua Moon, Agnes Moorehead, Morrissey, Lord Mountbatten, John Nash, Pola Negri, Nero, Brigitte Nielsen, Friedrich Nietzsche, Dolly Parton, Pope Paul VI, Lou Pearlman, Tyler Perry, Fernando Pessoa, Mike Piazza, William Pitt the Younger, Frank Podmore Maurice Ravel, Bebe Rebozo, Rex Reed, Janet Reno, Camille Saint-Saëns, Jerry Sandusky, Lizabeth Scott, Mack Sennett, William Shakespeare, Donna Shalala, Richard Simmons, Sue Simmons, Jeff Smith (Former TV chef, alleged child molester), Kate Smith, Barbara Stanwyck, Sufjan Stevens, Louis Sullivan, Alfred Lord Tennyson, Ian Thorpe, Jeremy Thorpe, Daniel J. Travanti, Hal Turner, Howard Unruh, Ville Valo, Luther Vandross, Virgil, Bernhard von Bulow, Clifton Webb, Michael Whalen, King William II, Armstrong Williams and Virginia Woolf

“It’s one of the great cosmic ironies that Jersh himself is a lolcow. Of course, I don’t think the site could really exist otherwise. A more normal person would have given up ages ago” - Farwin Phoenix

>Whatifalthis

Gather ‘round boys and girls, cause we’re gonna see what lies beyond pants-on-head retarded and crazy

archive.org/details/whatifalthist-deleteed-autobiography

The surviving members of SUPERPREDATOR had a watch party for this before emptying out our drafts folder and logging off for the last time. Below are the choice bits from chat for your reading pleasure:

• hes a chatgpt superstar

• If schizophrenia runs in your family it’s a really bad idea trying psychedelics

• The way he talks about Odin reminds me of the first time I met a schizophrenic person

• almost everything ‘Odin’ said to him is just what he wishes he had heard from parents

• The first time I wanted to try psychadelics my hookup just flat out said ‘how crazy is your family. Like seeing-things-crazy’ and when I said my uncle had schizophrenia he flat out refused to sell to me despite being my weed guy. I kind of feel like I get why

• “My mom was a genuine schizophrenic. Im a super powered wizard prophet that has been forced to save the world with youtube videos” Hmmmm...…

• “Rudyard has an incredibly rare genetic gift which he cutely calls the radio tower” but normal people call it schizophrenia

• Buddy’s dad saved 3k eating tuna everyday over the course of a couple decades. I’ve gotta lock in

• Referring to himself in the third person reminds me of narcisissts doing the same to distance themselves from their words and actions to sidestep consequence or accountability

• HOI4 and its consequences

• Ayahuasca absolutely one-shots people to the extent that I think there’s a non-zero chance that a genetic prerequisite is required for it to not melt your brain

• He’s 23? I would easily believe he was 43.

• I think the most schizophrenic characteristic of rudyard is that he is genuinely convinced he doesn’t have autism

• Came to the video expecting the typical gradual descent into madness that tends to afflict this kind of person, but holy shit that was a free fall

• As someone who has ASD, it kills me that this guy said “I’m sorry dad but you have really strong Asperger’s” as if he himself doesn’t have it 😭😭😭 his speech pattern alone gives it away

• Rudyard appears to be confusing Odinism with onanism

• Man, young Sheldon really went dark

• The fact that he goes from “I’m the chosen one chosen by the gods” to “I’M TOO YOUNG TO BE THE CHOSEN ONE I CAN’T DO THIS” is pretty standard schizo behavior

• The thing is, there are basically two options. 1. The guy is a schizophrenic or bipolar (in a manic episode) and all or most of the stuff he said, including about his childhood, were delusions caused by the schizophrenia, mania and/or drugs. OR 2. The guy genuinely did have a schizophrenic mother who put him through horrible stuff and he has extreme trauma as a result which has had extreme consequences on his behaviour, and probably caused him to have a break with reality (because he’s probably also schizophrenic since schizophrenia is partially heritable). Either way, this guy should be getting mental health help and I feel bad for him

• “Everything is the one, and yet the same, and yet nothing, and yet . . . other things” Thanks for the keen insight, man.

• “I predict a conflict in the middle east” Oh wow, no shit?

• I think if his dad ate tuna every day for 20+ years it’s likely bro already had Asperger’s

• Ignorance is bliss. But whatever this guy has must be borderline euphoric

• Bro just watched “american gods” and was like yup thats me

• I feel like I just watched a snuff film of someone’s psyche

• He is literally just describing the plot of Morrowind

• Imagine how differently he would have turned out if mom had played Super Mario with Rudyard instead of playing Abu Ghraib at home. IF that happened. This poor kid is clearly bright but seriously mentally ill

• Dude can use the carpool lane with all those gods in his head

• His is the archetypical voice of a redditor

• Schizophrenia sucks. This poor guy has split himself into thousands of parts and has interactions with them

• “A mysterious man in a blue room made me sign a contract” this dudes ayahuasca trip pulled from persona lmao

• Wondering what “The Contract” is and entails when all of this responsibility and power was forced upon him without consent

• If any of what he said was true, it stands to reason he could have just read “The contract” and said “Nah” and avoided his “Forced arranged marriage to God.”

• He managed to debase everything he’s ever said in a mere few words... Not that anyone really needed that confirmation, just pointing out that it’s odd how he can’t see his own elementary fumble and just stop what he’s doing, if he was so intellectually beyond the rest of us

• You know something is wrong with someone when they drink out of a cup using both hands

• Proving he isn’t an incel by listing everything that makes him appealing to women, what a pro gamer move

• It’s amazing he was so successful on YouTube while also being completely deluded and lying to himself. Makes you wonder just how mentally healthy his viewers are / were... or how gullible and naive.

• Hahaha, ayahuasca makes brain go brrrrr

• This dude’s voice and cadence reminds me of a history variation of another Lolcow, Mogar (Louis B Finley)

• “i can hear clocks and electric circuits while stoned or on ayahuasca” I was a heavy cocaine addict at one point and would sit up all night doing lines listening to the clock ticking in the kitchen from the others side of the house. I think you’re straining your hearing that much out of paranoia or maybe i was just hearing things. Just reminded me of that as soon as he said it

In conclusion: He’s trying to manipulate his audience so they’ll pity him and treat him as a deity. Standard cult practice. Why else would he back pedal and remove the video? He knew he was grooming them into thinking he was some kind of leader from the start so he wanted to further cement his support by seeing how far he could push the envelope. A standard tactic of manipulative narcissists or cult leaders is to make you feel bad about them while making you hate a specific group or individual. Alex Jones does this a lot

OR

The lights are on but nobody’s home

If you’re feeling limber, I suggest you check out SUPERPREDATOR on something other than your phone as the site was made to be as mobile unfriendly as possible. Not hard to find the second issue buried under a single click

Old Rapist 2020 went from literary shitpost to hilariously prescient. Don Jolly went to Harvard

SUPERPREDATOR.ZONE

Let me know. Reply, restack with a note, DM me, e-mail me, send a thought while astral projecting or say hi if you see me in person. You’re (probably) reading this cause you subscribed. And if you didn’t, but still want a copy, that’s okay

Feel free to forward it to people who don’t suck (like the person reading this perhaps I’d be so inclined to dap up over a TCP/IP connection, go on a picnic with after an afternoon at the Metropolitan Museum, or even prank call people with using the last payphone in town I’ll bring the quarters)

This offer is valid until Know Bueno is published, which is right around the corner

Hope you enjoy the rest of Summer!

Sociopathy, or antisocial personality disorder, is characterized by a pervasive pattern for disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others. Key traits include:

1. Lack of empathy and remorse (Christmas Day meltdown)

2. Manipulative and deceitful behavior (Endless lies about his companies’ products and services)

3. Impulsivity and risk-taking - (He brags about this)

4. Disregard for social norms and laws (Often drugged up, shows up where he’s not wanted)

5. Superficial charm and charisma - (He’s the “Real life Tony Stark”)

6. Inability to form deep, meaningful relationships - (Lots of baby mommas, can’t stay with any of them)

Autism spectrum disorder, on the other hand, is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects social interaction, communication and behavior. Common traits include:

1. Difficulties with social communication and interaction (Meets constantly with world leaders)

2. Restricted or repetitive patterns of behavior or interests (None apparent)

3. Sensory sensitivities or differences (Commonly found and factories and at rocket launches)

4. Challenges with nonverbal communication (None apparent. Has been in multiple relationships)

5. Preference for routine and structure (Jets around the world on a constantly changing schedule)

6. Intense focus on specific topics or activities (Tesla EV, SpaceX rockets, Boring tunnels, Hyperloop, DOGE government, Neuralink brain tech, pretending to be good at video games, etc. His interests are all over the place with little focus on any of them)

“I think the biggest tell for me that Musk isn’t actually autistic is that realistically the kind of leadership role he has, barring years of work with a specialist, would suck for someone with executive dysfunction (poor impulse control and cognitive flexibility especially)” - mr. comeau

While we’re on topic, Milhouse McBeeftits - everyone’s favorite illegal immigrant African American drug addicted deadbeat dad - a citizen of three countries and is an economic migrant with no loyalty to any country. He wants to flood the United States with millions of third world economic migrants to reduce his labor costs. His love for immigration from India should be seen as treason. Make sure to laugh at his pointy tits, Turkish hairplugs, filled diaper/iPad baby walk and how based it is to shit out 14 kids who all hate him. Remember when he signed a permission slip for his son to cut his dick off and get on hormones and then he cried about it like a blubberling little bitch? I wish elon musk was my dad so I’d never have to see him again

Wish Cody recorded the open mic set after The Roast of America last month during the 4th, it was just picking up where I left off

You know, people have told me “you should do stand up” and I couldn’t tell you why it didn’t mean shit until Cody e-mailed me “PERFORM” with a flyer for the monthly roasts he and Mr. Bibble put together

But it didn’t

Still weirded out, amazed and impressed how I can just read from my books on stage. World of difference between stand up open mics and open mics at, say, KGB Bar on the 3rd floor during Monday Nights. In front of jerkoffs in turtlenecks and their listless dates scrolling on instagram or endlessly swiping left on a dating app, it helps to be funny. Funny is funny is funny

People take you a little more seriously if you open with a laugh, even during a PowerPoint presentation that no one wants to sit through and wishes they took their drug of choice before settling in for eighty-nine minutes of “5% domestic, 1% international” and “look at what I can do on Microsoft Access”

I’ll conclude on some words about the corpulent, shambling butter and and ham disasters we are forced to share the Earth with

This earth from which we have all evolved from

This earth where all of it’s people are downtrodden

downtrodden by all those who stand to prosper from exploitation and suffering

downtrodden by those whose slime infests their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

there really isn’t much

to control in our lives

but ourselves

to extricate the self from

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

our lack of curiosity

is the key to their success

held in place

by belief and

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

there is finally enough

in the latrine

to climb out and

get away from

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

their weak minds

oh, I mean

their fat minds

From this

To this

What the fuck even happened? Booze? Diet? Both? Seriously, Matt Pike somehow looks better despite his stint as a meth head breaking into cars, even with the inevitable ravages of time

Wall-E touches on this in a charmingly haunting and prescient way

Fat women on the internet carry themselves with the confidence and indignation of indian men

Haha, man

There are 26 lesbian bars remaining in America and by the time you finish reading this there will be 25 left

This always weirded me out. When I think of “big guy” I think of Bane or my friend eugene (he is 6’5 and can launch kettlebells through walls). When I think of “big girl” I imagine ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag who are we kidding you do, too. A shambling butter and ham disaster in high waist clothing or a mumu disguised as a dress. Cheesecake elementals. “Curvy” and “Thicc” and “Zaftig” and “Rubenesque” “women” with tattoos looking like stretched out amoeba assholes as more dimply flesh is grafted onto a woman-voiced cryptid that can strike oil simply by wearing high heels. The average American woman is as tall and heavy as Blastoise go look it up

It’s true, but the secret is to find the strength to be sick and tired of being a fat herb

>herb

It’s a local thing, like someone in Philly calling you a jabroni

urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Herb

You might want to freshen your drink, stretch your shit out before returning to this mess. Wonder how much fatty fat fat material is in Know Bueno

On a related note, there’s a Judge Dredd issue that deals with fat people wanting fat rights and so on and so forth

Reminder that Thailand wasn’t colonized until 7-11 showed up. Also: how does such a thing even happen? Min/maxxing profits off of the potential value of human life to be extracted through as many institutions as possible makes perfect sense in a place like The United States - especially the ‘feed you poison’ part. While Thailand is safe from corn syrup, what about stuff like palm oil? Even if they are, did someone greenlight this or are multinationals not even checking in with the leaders of nations they encroach on?

It’s true - pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/1454084/

He has since begun losing weight, which I imagine isn’t the hardest thing in the world (discipline and self-control notwithstanding) when you can afford a personal chef, a personal trainer, can facilitate a schedule to exercise six days a week and get nine hours of sleep no problem. But tell me you start wondering if his blood type is Ragu or cold onion gravy just by looking at him

I know I’m skipping ahead here, but very much related:

HAHA, YES

and the hits keep coming

I’ll spare you posting the whole chapter, but yes it would be really really funny

Trans fat? Yeah, usually

“Niggas will say anything to intellectualize their way around their inability to cold approach” - Michael Clayton Kershaw

I don’t recall many conventionally attractive or even funny looking cute women who called themselves “non-binary”. Reminder that sometimes funny looking cute surpasses hot. Tall skinny girls and ones in the Itty Bitty Titty Committee need love, too

American women who do the same are lucky male prostitutes charge by the hour or give a flat rate instead of charge per square mile

“Fat people use restaurants” - Cody Clarke

The apple does not fall far from the tree

MIND BOGGLING

So remember ladies and jerks, obesity is a character flaw and fat people are inherently evil

The whole trans thing would have disappeared in ten seconds if women had laughed at it instead of promoting it. It may have been the only political problem for which emotionally aggressive female bullying would have been the optimal reaction

It is semantic and semiotic warfare to undermine the collective valuation of truth with eugenic byproducts. But it’s easier to just call it a eugenics program despite selling the whole mess a bit short by doing so

Wouldn’t it be funny if the trans movement is just a way to offload global excess of coffins and keep grave diggers occupied disguised as a eugenics program?

There’s going to be a chapter in Know Bueno on the end result of this being imperial jannisary eunuchs, but in the time being enjoy this gem dusted off from the vaults:

Porn-sick autistic crossdressers have done to thigh-highs what fat women have done to high waisted clothing

Remember boys and girls: transitioning is dress rehearsal for suicide

If you believe in the lie that men can be women and women can be men, you will believe in any and every other lie

Vanguard Group, BlackRock, State Street Corporation, and Elliott Investment Management own most of the shares in the Match Group

Match Group board of directors:

ir.mtch.com/investor-relations/corporate-governance/board-of-directors/default.aspx

>Vanguard Group, BlackRock, State Street Corporation, and Elliott Investment Management

Likely mostly managed accounts. Curious if the voting rights are retained by the funds or pass through

The Match Group had early success back during the dot com. People (mostly boomers) were actually okay with paying to message women on the internet because they were used to having to pay some kind of fee for match making services (to import their foreign brides or whatever)

As the internet became more popular and commercialised, it shifted towards free (using ads) and freemium, get you to sign up and then tried to upsell you

Match Group never really cracked this. Instead, they used all the money they made from the dot come bubble to just buy up their competition. Then they would use a variety of tactics to try to squeeze every last shekel out of it until the platform died. While they were doing this, another platform would rise and then they’d just buy that. It’s happened so many times now

The problem is that now people know that when Match Group buys a site or app that it’s doomed, and even if you don’t know that, you’ll notice the shitty changes they make to try to squeeze money out of you and you leave

There is only so many times you can really do this. The shitty tactics might make the line go up in the short term but any app or website that does this will enter a death spiral (where people leaving makes it less interesting, so more people leave)

All those profiles, all those swipes, all the money for superlikes, a height filter and Tinder plutonium - where you see their blood type and who they voted for - they amounts to billions and billions of dollars a year - businessofapps.com/data/dating-app-market/

Was it possible, let’s say in the 00s or even early 10s to get yourself a quality women online? Sure. There were plenty of niche places that an introverted girl might lurk in that you could interact with and eventually meet up with her. Now zoomers only know of the internet that is the walled garden type. That’s all corporate apps, “likes”, advertising friendly and commercially viable. They have no memories of the old internet. There wasn’t an army of Pajeets coming to some niche private metal or harry potter forum on web 1 demanding to show bob and vagene. They hadn’t even got internet now and they would’ve been banned even if they did

This was written eleven years ago, I wonder if it’s now every two seconds instead of three that an indian goes online for the first time - economist.com/leaders/2016/03/05/india-online

Signal to noise matters, even for women. Maybe the last blood to be squeezed from this stone is a ‘no indians’ filter

Experts know more than we do

If an expert says it, then it must be true

Experts know what’s best for us

But how often do they ever talk to us?

Experts understand mountains of charts

and master plans

To cure our economy

build a mathematical model

Instead of going out

and talking to real people

Sometimes experts know so much

about one thing

They haven’t the faintest idea

how it relates to anything else

Sometimes, experts are dangerous

Sometimes, nothing seems more uncommon

to them

than common sense

Experts who only look at the big picture

when they’re trying to cover it up

the Soviet Union

Where dictators knew best what you were

allowed to do

and what you should be allowed to see, to

read, to hear, to know and to think

And if you’re even suspected of saying

something

that disagreed with expert opinion

you could wind up in prison, or worse

Till there was no one left to warn the experts

when their foolproof plans were causing

much bigger problems

Society collapses, the economy collapses

Secret police are the last to know when their

government collapses

The Soviet Union

world superpower

became a vast wasteland of misery,

starvation, toxic ecodisasters

Chernobyls waiting to happen

and a Mount St. Helens’s worth of ethnic

violence

that MIGHT have been diffused over the

course of seventy years

if the experts had gone to work on the problem

instead of sweeping it under the rug at

gunpoint

Look what a strong military and all those

nuclear bombs did

for their national security

“It can’t happen here”

but look around

It’s b e e n happening here

Society collapses, the economy collapses

Homeless camps and shantytowns multiplying

Like McDonald’s and Walmarts used to

Pollution in the name of progress

shoots cancer rates through a hole in the sky

The military and intelligence experts

we threw billions at

were so out of it and incompetent

that they failed to predict the fall of the Soviet Union

Failed to predict things they made terms for,

like “blowback”, or what the rest of us called

‘Ayatollah Khomeni’

Are we any better off

than we were before the experts

in the National Security state took over?

Or the ones

who pretend to be talking heads

with the actual talking heads on the screen?

Man, someone’s gotta do something about all these experts

It’s no longer in my hands. This is a flyer I’ll be using for the book, will fill in the HP bar with green highlighter like how I’d do the red X with marker for the All Dogs Go To Heaven Except Pit Bulls flyer. I’ll figure out where to put the QR code later, I’ve got typos to find

While I still have to shape up a few things before it is finalized, Know Bueno is more or less done and I can prepare to relentlessly shill the I Told You So Trilogy online and in meatspace

>typos to find

>tfw

Looking forward to reacclimating back into polite society

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid; it doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid; it doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid

It doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid; it doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid; it doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid

It doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid; it doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid; it doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid

It doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid; it doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid; it doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid

It doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid; it doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid; it doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid

It doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid; it doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid; it doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid

It doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid; it doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid; it doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid

It doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid; it doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid; it doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid

It doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid; it doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid; it doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid

It doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid; it doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid; it doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid

It doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid; it doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid; it doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid

It doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid; it doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid; it doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid

It doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid; it doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid; it doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid

It doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid; it doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid; it doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid

It doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid; it doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid; it doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

The global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid doesn’t want you thinking about the global algorithm-driven marketing and surveillance mind control grid

It doesn’t want you telling anyone about it either

It was the last good pre-matchmaking FPS. The core of the experience was wandering onto someone’s server and playing with the same people for a few hours, maybe finding a server you really liked and becoming part of a little community

Most people with a fondness for TF2 remember making friends and being parts of communities like this in the days when fun was the goal, when you played with and against real people rather than faceless nobodies that you’ll never see again after 20 minutes, when every new game you tried was like entering a new world of different people rather than a soulless parade of NPCs to fight alone or with friends you already had

Although the competitive scene is pretty much irrelevant, TF2 probably has the highest skill ceiling of any FPS still actively played. Team Fortress began life as a Quake mod, and it shows in how fluid the game controls and how demanding combat can be. Few people make the connection but it really feels and controls more like a class-based arena shooter than not

In most other games today (hero shooters excepted), engagement times are mere seconds and most fights boil down to who fired first or who had the tactical advantage. In TF2 it simply takes longer to kill anyone, providing ample time for interesting fights and options

I can’t think of any game today where you are expected to be capable of blasting a guy into the air with a rocket or grenade, then a second later shooting him midair with another projectile, all while he has full air control. Or a game where you are expected to be capable of dealing with making rapid 180 degree turns as a scout dances around your head. Or a game that, rather than patching it as an exploit, allows and rewards you for being talented enough at rocket jumping to travel across a large map in seconds

And yet the core gameplay is simple, compelling, and still incredibly fun for beginners; it is not gated and exclusive, rather it invites you to grow as a player in a natural way free (at the time) from the stress and autism of a matchmaking leaderboard

TF2 had soul. It had a compelling and coherent art style based on the works of artists like Norman Rockwell and J.C. Leyendecker. It had a cast of highly memorable characters with unique, highly distinguishable designs that still fit together, from which countless works of creativity were made by fans in an age before viral marketing was understood by companies as a force to be exploited

The art was married to the gameplay, not orthogonal to it; the architectural themes of each team made you feel which side of the map you were on, and the unique character designs made it easy to distinguish each class from the rest with nothing but a silhouette to go by

And it had a refreshing sense of humor that combined a silly Disney-like art style with dark, violent cynicism

TF2 was an incredible game, one that we will probably never see the likes of again

The last and greatest creation of a different era

The phenomena of inner experience - pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18258456/

Abstract: This study provides a survey of phenomena that present themselves during moments of naturally occurring inner experience. In our previous studies using Descriptive Experience Sampling (DES) we have discovered five frequently occurring phenomena--inner speech, inner seeing, unsymbolized thinking, feelings, and sensory awareness. Here we quantify the relative frequency of these phenomena. We used DES to describe 10 randomly identified moments of inner experience from each of 30 participants selected from a stratified sample of college students. We found that each of the five phenomena occurred in approximately one quarter of sampled moments, that the frequency of these phenomena varied widely across individuals, that there were no significant gender differences in the relative frequencies of these phenomena, and that higher frequencies of inner speech were associated with lower levels of psychological distress

Reminder that people who say

>you don’t understand the study!

>the study doesn’t say some people don’t have inner speech!

>it can be explained by chance!

>no inner speech is a better way of thinking!

are lying, didn’t read the study and don’t understand the results

- 17% of people have no inner speech, and confirmed it when being individually probed about their results

- 50% of people use their inner speech less than 20% of the time

- 80% of people use their inner speech lass than 50% of the time

- Males are 40% more likely to use inner speech than females

- Inner speech is the only mode of thinking that’s associated with lower psychological distress

- Both factors (male, lower psychological distress) have been associated with higher intelligence in other studies

- The cohorts were first world university students so the general population might be worse off

- The sample size was 30 because the authors wanted to make sure the cohorts understood the methodology

- The results had a p <0.05 so they are statistically significant above chance

- The authors explicitly conclude that the results can’t be attributed to chance

- The variance was high enough to assume that different people indeed use different ways of thinking

- The co-author explicitly ran away with the interpretation that some people indeed have no inner speech

- The study has a citation index of 90 so it’s been peer reviewed

And so, without further ado:

: Hello Commissioner Gordon. What’s the emergency?

Gordon: Oh, I just wanted to make sure this phone worked. You know, take it on its maiden voyage. Hah

: This is the third time you've called me since the phone has been installed, it's hardly a maiden voyage. Or an emergency. Which is what this line is for.

Gordon: Ah, yes. It is something though, isn't it? Being able to contact you immediately just by picking up a red phone in my office. No numbers to memorize and dial! I wish I had a phone for everyone I knew. I'd have one on my desk for my wife, one for my assistant, one for the pizza place, one for-

: If there's no crisis, I really should get back to waxing the Batmobile.

Gordon: I wonder what would happen if I had a red phone for me. If I picked it up to call me, would I answer?

: (sighs)

Gordon: Or would that create some sort of loop in the space time thingy?

: Continuum?

Gordon: Yes, I will continue, thank you. It seems to me that a man calling himself with one of these phones could cause all sorts of trouble. We need to keep this technology from falling into the hands of our enemies, Batman

: I don't think you have to worry about that

Gordon: Of course not, not with you protecting the city. Hey, how would you like to come over to my place tonight? I need a hand painting the guest room

: Sorry sir, I'd love to but I can't.

Gordon: Why not?

: I'm... on the case we just discussed. Making sure that no villains call themselves

Gordon: That can probably wait until tomorrow

: No. Crime never rests, Commissioner

Seventeen seconds later

: Yes, Gordon?

Gordon: Batman, thank goodness you answered! The Riddler used some sort of strange ray gun on me, leaving me completely paralyzed! As he was leaving I heard him say that the only way to counter the ray's effect is for you to give me a foot massage

: Is that so?

Gordon: Yes, with the scented oils and everything. It's all very disturbing. Please hurry!

: There's absolutely no one around to help you, say, pick up a phone?

Gordon: No one at all

: You're completely paralyzed, yes? All the muscles in your body, even your face and mouth?

Gordon: Completely

: So how is it that you're speaking to me right now?

Gordon: Don't be ridiculous, I've known how to speak since I was practically twelve years old. You've seen me speak!

: You are aware that I dropped the Riddler off at Arkham Asylum no more than an hour ago, are you not?

Gordon: Good lord, he must have gotten his hands on some sort of time travel device! This is a much more dire situation than we had thought. You'd better get over here and massage my feet before he strikes again

: Doing that would be pointless if he has a time travel device, since he could simply travel to the moment after I leave your office and paralyze you again

Gordon: Then don't leave me. Don't you ever leave me

: That would only be giving him what he wants, keeping me occupied while he wreaks havoc on Gotham. I think the best course of action is to just wait this out. You stay there and I'll spring into action if he shows up anywhere else in the city

Gordon: Could you at least send Robin?

: This had better be good

Gordon: Yes, hello! I'm looking at my phone bill and something is not quite right

: I think you're mistaken. My costume is meant to conjure up the visage of a bat, not that of a customer service representative

Gordon: No, it's the bill for this line. I assumed that my calls to you would be local but I've been charged an outrageous sum. The bill says I've called outside the city lines to "Stately Wayne Manor" a total of three hundred times this month

: I see

Gordon: Batman, I'm going to ask you a very straightforward question. I want you to answer me truthfully

: I won't lie to you, Gordon. Ask of me what you will and we'll take it from there

Gordon: Is your last name Manor?

: Excuse me?

Gordon: You heard me. Is your name Stately Wayne Manor or is it not?

: No. My name is not Stately Wayne Manor

Gordon: You're telling the truth, I can tell. I'm like a human lie detector test with a face

: So what about that bill?

Gordon: Oh, I'll just pay it. It's the taxpayers' money anyway

Muffled Voice: Hey, do you want... ah... pizza? (laughter)

: No thank you, Commissioner Gordon. Is there something I can help you with?

Muffled Voice: This is the, umm, pizza place. If you aren't going to place an order we'll uh... have no choice but to... no, I'm kidding

: Thank you for admitting that

Muffled Voice: This is actually the hospital. We're calling to inform you that sadly, your parents have been hit by a, um, canoe. They didn't make it. The pizza joke was standard procedure. We try to loosen people up with humor before we tell them the bad news

: Gordon, I am going to hang up now

Gordon: What makes you so sure it's me?

: Well for one I'm the greatest detective in the world

Gordon: And... ?

: Then there's the fact that this phone only rings when the corresponding phone in your office is picked up

Gordon: Yes... ?

: Just a few moments ago you said "What makes you so sure it's me?" instead of "What makes you so sure this is Commissioner Gordon?"

Gordon: Uh huh... ?

: You also stopped disguising your voice

Gordon: None of this will stand up in court. I'll see you in Hell

Not all coffee commercials have tones of incest in them, but in 2009 Folgers stepped up to the plate and knocked it out the park

I love how the brother is so relieved to see coffee after spending time in Africa. Because, you know, no coffee comes from Africa. Especially not Kenya. Or Ethiopia. Or Rwanda. In fact, coffee producers accounted for about 12% of global supply last decade. He’s dying for a cup of freeze dried worm shit after that, like anyone else would after serving in the Peace Corps

The CGI winter breath is what pushes this over the top for me. It’s the George Lucas way of storytelling. The snow and the winter clothes aren’t enough to show that it was cold. The breath was needed to bring the cold home. In fact, had Lucas himself written the commercial the guy would have said, “It’s really cold outside”

I want you to look me in the eye and tell me there is no sexual tension in this commercial

Okay, so the mom wakes up because she smells something. It’s coffee right? But that pot was full when the brother got there. The sister states that she waited up all night for him, so that coffee has probably been brewing for hours

I can’t even say that the act of that dude pouring a pot of coffee releases the aroma from a theoretical smell-dampening super urn, because whatever the act of mom smelling takes place before he pours a cup of coffee. Mom obviously has some kind of Wolverine-like enhanced sense of smell, and is awakened by the burst of pheromones that hotboxes that room once those two meet up. Those two of course referring to the brother and his coffee

That commercial, where the dude was jerking to some webcam girl, and he goes down for breakfast and realizes it was his sister on the webcam? That commercial was less creepy and had less sexual tension than this. If she didn’t just say “sister” (for no apparent reason) in the beginning of the commercial, I would expect him to be balls deep in her before the mom made it down the stairs

The end of the commercial should be a cut to a West African Starbucks, where the barista looks in the camera and says “Fuck you, white man, go home and fuck your sister”

Mom and Dad? They know all about it. Mom’s entire life revolves around cockblocking them with constant interruptions & meddling. She got some much-needed relief when he went off to West Africa, but now it’s back to barging into rooms & planning dull family activities. Dad, on the other hand, is filled with a combination of denial and resignation

If she had put the bow on top of the brother’s head, then it would have been a little easier to interpret as a goofy platonic gesture. But she put the bow right on his shirt, which sets him up for an unwrapping. Makes you wonder what he actually got her

Fertility dolls or something maybe. Box of condoms? The AIDS? Having just come from West Africa, my money’s on the AIDS

“I have sucked the still warm blood from the neck of a dying wildebeest. Gazelles scattered across the veldt at my warning that there were lions in the brush, they recognized me and my warning after a hundred tries, and the lions glared at me. I sifted through million-year-old ash in the cradle of all of humanity, searching for chips of hominid bone. I witnessed a tribal boy become a man and accomplish something I could never imagine achieving. I’ve breathed in the dark continent and I will never exhale”

“But right now I need a fucking mug of Folgers”

The best part of waking up, is incest in your cup

How do you recognize a foundation myth? It fulfills three functions

1) It explains the origin and structure of the world (and society)

2) It defines ultimate good and evil (and from those definitions are derived the values that are used to justify the holding of power)

3) It determines what is held sacred in that society

For modern Westerners the story of WWII has become their foundation myth. It fulfills all three functions

1) We live in the ‘Post-War World’. The lines on the map, the institutions, the sense of what era we live in, all arise from the starting point of WWII

2) Ultimate evil is Nazis. Ultimate good is opposing Nazis. The values derived from these definitions are anti-racism, equality, diversity, anti-nationalism and so on

3) The only thing that is held sacred, that cannot be denied or mocked in the contemporary West, is the Holocaust

The problem is that all three functions are backwards or negative

Instead of the origin event being one of fertility and new life, it was a conflagration of death and destruction

Instead of ultimate good taking the central position in the story that slot is occupied by ultimate evil. Everyone knows that Adolf Hitler, the personification of evil, holds the center point of the WWII story

Instead of that which is held sacred being something mysterious and sublime it (the Holocaust) is an obscenity

Having a negative foundation myth means the tree of life for Westerners is poisoned

>Having a negative foundation myth means the tree of life for Westerners is poisoned

The Copypasta List

Have this copypasta list. Critique any point you think is wrong or inaccurate:

No autopsies were conducted by allied investigators to prove gassings of camp inmates

No photographic evidence was taken by Allied aerial reconnaissance of the camps between 1942 - 1945 showing mass exterminations or removal of human remains, even though such activities would have been easily spotted

No German communications, which were being monitored by the British government throughout the war due to the early cracking of German codes, alluded to any mass extermination or extraordinary loss of life in the camps

No captured diaries or journals of high ranking German officials alluded to any program of extermination, nor is there any documentation whatsoever alluding to a program of extermination. The claim that National Socialists killed eleven million people - roughly five million Europeans and six million jews - the idea that every single document alluding to this massive operation was destroyed is ludicrous

Neither mass graves of eleven million bodies nor the remains of the equivalent number of bodies in layers of ash and crushed bones, have never been located in or around the internment camps. The human soap, skin lampshades, and shrunken heads were admitted as lies in mainstream American newspapers in the 1980s

Steam chambers & electrified floors, the first alleged methods of mass extermination, were quickly proven to be lies before the gas chamber story took hold. If the gas chambers had been real, there would have been no need to lie about steam chambers & electrified floors initially

The Katyn Massacre, the shootings of over 20,000 Poles for which Germans were hanged, was admitted by the Russia government in 1990 to have been actually committed by the Bolshevik NKVD

The Babi Yar Massacre was a lie conjured up by Soviet jewish propaganda minister Ilya Ehrenburg. The story, which involved the Germans killing 30,000 jews outside of sniper-infested Kiev (with no eyewitnesses) and then returning to the site three years later to dig up all the remains and destroy them using a “bone crushing machines” (while being pursued by the Red Army, no less) was laughable to begin with. However, there is evidence which supports the mass executions of Ukranians at the site in the early 1930s by the NKVD. It’s probably, like Katyn, the Babi Yar Massacre was an example of the Soviets projecting their own atrocities onto their enemies

Official Soviet policy was to prioritize the evacuation of jews via trains ahead of the German advance. Eastern Soviet territories such as Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, and Tajikistan recorded huge numbers of jews flooding into their lands during World War II

All the “information” on gas chambers came from the Soviet Union, as the Western Allies did not capture any camps that are currently said to have any, though initially they did falsely claim that they had liberated “death camps” with gas chambers in them like Dachau

All German camps had supplies of Zyklon, not just the camps which were said to have gas chambers. Large quantities of Zyklon B are neither mysterious nor sinister, as it takes a relatively high amount to kill lice. A ground-penetrating radar study conducted by an Australian team in 1999 proved that the ground around Treblinka had been undisturbed down to 30 meters, meaning that no human remains of one million people were deposited there. This supports official German documentation which shows Treblinka to be a transit camp

Records show that German guards were severely reprimanded for so much as striking camp inmates, let alone killing them. Karl Koch, the commandant of the Buchenwald camp, was executed by the SS for killing several inmates and stealing personal possessions

Germany has no history of genocidal behavior, not even at its most aggressive. jews on the other hand have a long and bloody history of genocidal behavior towards their perceived enemies, recent examples including Russian Orthodox Christians, Ukrainian kulaks, Polish Catholics, Germans, and Palestinians. Furthermore jews are notorious for projecting their pathologies, hatreds, and fears onto their enemies

German “admissions of guilt” were obtained through brutal torture by Allied agents which included genital mutilation, mock executions, beatings, and threats directed at family members; Rudolf Hoess, commandant of Auschwitz, was tortured so terribly he admitted to the location of a concentration camp that didn’t even exist

If the Germans had wanted to kill Jewish inmates all they would had to have done was simply not feed them. This is how Eisenhower exterminated 1.5 million German POWs in the Rhineland death camps after the war. No need for gas chambers, brain-bashing machines, electrified floors, or any of the weird and wild Rudolf Vrba, the Slovak Jew who popularized the gas chamber story, was forced to admit under oath during the Ernst Zundel trial in 1985 that he had never witnessed an actual gassing, and that his stories were “artistic representations” (lies)

Numerous Holocaust memoirs, such as Herman Rosenblat’s ‘Angel at the Fence’ and Jerzy Kosinski’s ‘The Painted Bird, have been proven to be fiction. Elie Wiesel’s ‘Night, supposedly based on his experiences at Auschwitz, fails to mention any gas chambers and instead talks about huge pits in the earth where jews were burned alive

Deception is central to Jewish interaction with non-jews, as well as jewishness in general. Extreme dishonesty in regard to their holocaust stories is entirely in keeping with their racial character

The Holocaust is used as a political weapon to extort billions of dollars from Germany and other nations, to inculcate sympathy for “the jewish people” in the face of its global criminality, and to stifle European nationalism at a time when their homelands have been flooded for decades with hostile racial aliens

If the holocaust had actually happened, it would not require laws drafted by powerful jewish organizations to defend its veracity. No other historical narrative is protected by the threat of heavy fines and imprisonment. Truth doesn’t fear investigation

All German documents and statements made by German officials show that the Final Solution meant the repatriation of jews to their own territory in the East, not their extermination. holocaust believers claim the Germans spoke and wrote in coded language (for example “ausroten” = extermination as opposed to it actual meaning “uprooting,” i.e. physically removing and transporting people) but there is no evidence to support this idea

During World War I the British government ran stories in the newspapers about Germans gassing people to death and bayoneting babies. After the war the British government issued an official apology for the lies. They didn’t do so after World War II due to the need to justify the foundation of Israel

Jews have a history of exaggerating their suffering, such as during the Khmelnytsky Uprising in Ukraine in the 17th Century. For centuries jews claimed that half a million to a million of them died during the rebellion when today it’s generally accepted that actual jewish casualties did not exceed ten thousand

There is no reason to believe that the emaciated corpses found in the camps by the Allied forces were anything other than victims of starvation and typhus, which afflicted all of Germany in the final weeks of the war due to Allied saturation bombing. Gassing people does not cause them to lose weight, and if jews were being immediately gassed upon arrival at the camps as propaganda states, where are the otherwise healthy bodies that died from these gassings?

The mobile gas vans allegedly use to gas jews were actually a method of execution devised in the Soviet Union by NKVD official Isay Berg

German commanders refused to follow Hitler’s Commissar Order of 1941 (mandatory executions of bolshevik commissars and Soviet intelligentsia), as they considered cold-blooded killing dishonorable and a violation of international law. Yet people are told to believe that these same commanders were overseeing the widespread extermination of millions of civilians on the Eastern Front

Sporadic killings of the few jews that remained to be caught by the Germans in the Soviet Union were typically carried out by vengeful Slavs who had scores to settle after two decades of jewish tyranny and violence directed at their countries and families. It was German soldiers who routinely stepped in to stop the violence

The Einsatzgruppen, who have been the focus of TV shows, movies, and books on account of the death of the gas chamber narrative, were German troops whose job it was to secure the rear lines, which were frequent targets of terrorist activity by Soviet partisans. There is no reason to believe they were shooting thousands or millions of people, as is routinely claimed

There are numerous chapters derived from threads that I often wonder would “work” in a book without images. I sometimes wonder if threads like the ones on Richard Scarry, Mister Rogers, Bob Ross or Salvador Dali would translate proper into a book that’s just text

Here’s one, and just in case you don’t know what the guy looks like or ever heard of him:

He wrote an autobiography and the parts where he just exercises thought on whatever comes to mind beyond his life’s journey are real gems, but I digress

Just as the year 1940 was coming to an end amidst the anxious tumult surrounding a rapidly-escalating world war, an unsuspecting Sicilian immigrant and his French-Sicilian wife welcomed the arrival of an organism that would grow to be one of the most gifted, innovative and irreverent musicians of the century. Frank Vincent Zappa, born in Baltimore to a Catholic family, spent his early years more inclined towards being a mad scientist than a musician (and this explains quite a bit, if you keep it in mind while listening to his records), occupying his time with the creation of various incendiary concoctions from toy caps, ping pong balls and other household materials. It is not surprising, therefore, that it was another mad scientist (or at least a guy with mad scientist’s hair) who eventually ignited his enthusiasm for music -- this being the French avant garde composer Edgard Varèse. By this time Frank and his family had moved to California, where he developed a parallel interest in the burgeoning doo-wop/R&B movement and took up playing the drums (or, more accurately, ‘a drum’). Both of these musical influences would continue to impact his creative output throughout his entire career

After moving to the desert town of Lancaster, Zappa formed his first band: an integrated R&B outfit called The Black-Outs. The still fundamentally racist social structure of the 50s excluded the band from performing at school functions, so they were forced to organize their own events -- much to the displeasure of local law enforcement. During this period his listening broadened to include international folk musics, sea shanties, modern jazz and a wide range of 20th century classical composers; before the end of high school Frank had given up the drums and switched to playing the guitar, while his stylistic concerns drifted somewhat from R&B towards classical composition. After graduation, Frank briefly attended Antelope Valley Junior College, and it was here that his first recordings were made with the help of his brother Bobby and friend Don Van Vliet (later to be known as Captain Beefheart). He then spent a few months studying music theory at Chaffey Junior College before taking a job as a greeting card designer, supplementing his income with various music projects: these included a commission from former high school English teacher Don Cerveris to score the film Run Home Slow, occasional performances as a folk duo with future co-founder of The Association Terry Kirkman, gigs with his R&B quartet The Boogie Men, a new version of The Black-Outs, and the lounge act Joe Perrino and the Mellow Tones. A second film score, commissioned by actor Timothy Carey for his completely deranged film The World’s Greatest Sinner, was undertaken in 1961

In the early 60s Zappa took a job working for Paul Buff, an innovative recording engineer who had built his own five-track recording studio in Cucamonga. For a year the pair attempted to churn out hit records for various labels, before Zappa assumed ownership of the studio with some of the money earned from Run Home Slow; he subsequently changed it’s name to “Studio Z” and immersed himself in multi-tracking as a full-time lifestyle. A low-budget film project (Captain Beefheart vs. the Grunt People, featuring Van Vliet) was also being organized at the time, but both film and studio were lost after a San Bernardino County vice squad detective commissioned Zappa to create a “pornographic” audio tape, and then arrested him for making it. After completing the required ten days of his six-month sentence in county lock-up, the disillusioned musician emerged to find his life in a shambles. It was only a few days later, however, that he was contacted by vocalist Ray Collins (who had been a regular participant in the Zappa/Buff sessions) and invited to assume guitar duties for The Soul Giants -- a bar band founded by drummer Jimmy Carl Black and bassist Roy Estrada after a chance meeting in a pawn shop. Although a covers act at the time, Zappa soon convinced most of the other musicians that, in order to get anywhere in the music business, they should start performing his original material; after a brief period spent as Captain Glasspack and his Magic Mufflers, the band changed their name to The Mothers on Mother’s Day, 1965

The first year of The Mothers was not an easy one, and all of its members had become well-acquainted with poverty and hunger by the end of it. It wasn’t until sometime club-owner and music promoter Herb Cohen assumed management duties that the fortunes of the band finally began to turn around. By October of ‘65 Cohen had provided them with a four-week stint at the hip LA club The Action, and soon after organized a residency at the even hipper Whiskey A-Go-Go; Cohen also arranged for MGM producer Tom Wilson to witness a Mothers performance, and by March 1966 Zappa had his first big-time record deal. Several months later, this arrangement resulted in a slice (or rather, two slices) of music history: Freak Out!, the world’s first rock and roll double LP -- and definitely one of the most unusual. The record combined all of Zappa’s musical interests, from doo-wop and R&B to modern classical and avant garde, while the lyric content ranged between social commentary, (somewhat tongue-in-cheek) tales of heartbreak, and Dadaistic absurdity. MGM, however, refused to allow the album to be credited under a name as outrageous as “The Mothers” (think of the scandal!), so the group was forced to lengthen it to The Mothers of Invention in order for a release to be possible. Zappa and his bandmates set off on their first tour immediately afterwards, where they were introduced to the joys of lip-syncing on teen dance shows. It was at the conclusion this tour that Frank began what would be his most (and only) enduring partnership, after meeting a secretary at the Whisky named Gail Sloatman; the two married the following year, and Gail’s role in supporting Frank’s music (and, eventually, managing his business concerns) remained an essential one throughout his career

In November of ‘66 the Mothers recorded their second album, Absolutely Free, further expanding on the methods and themes established with Freak Out!. By the time of its release the following year, Zappa had relocated to New York, where Cohen had arranged a residency for the band at the Garrick Theater -- the music scene in LA having fallen into a terminal slump, due to a growing political reaction against venues that catered to the long-haired “freak” crowd. The shows at the Garrick entered the realm of legend, featuring as they did extensive audience participation, an ever-changing array of props, vegetables, and the public administration of enormous quantities of whipped cream via a stuffed giraffe’s rectum. Zappa correspondingly took his recorded work a step further at this time, integrating tape manipulation and extensive editing techniques into the already frothy musical stew. Two albums showcasing this painstaking approach materialized in ‘68: the first being the scathing social critique We’re Only In It For The Money, and the second being the elaborate sonic collage Lumpy Gravy. 1968 also saw the Mothers’ audience expand overseas as a result of their first shows in Europe and the UK, including a notorious performance at London’s Royal Albert Hall that featured an 8 piece band line-up accompanied by ten members of the London Philharmonic. Never one to rest, upon his return to New York Zappa initiated two more projects before moving back to California in May: a tribute/parody of his doo-wop roots called Cruising With Ruben And The Jets and the homemade film and accompanying album Uncle Meat (the album was released in 1969, but the film remained unfinished until 1987)

After their contract with MGM expired in 1967, Zappa and Cohen set up their own label, aptly titled Bizarre Records. In addition to albums by the Mothers, the label also provided an outlet for offbeat performers such as Lenny Bruce, Wild Man Fischer, the GTOs and Alice Cooper (the latter two released through the Straight sub-label). On occasion, Frank also served as a producer for these other artist’s records -- the most notable example being Trout Mask Replica, the third effort by Don Van Vliet’s music cult Captain Beefheart and The Magic Band and arguably the most outlandish blues album in history. Despite their growing popularity (or, apparently, because of it), Zappa was becoming increasingly disenchanted with his own band -- having developed an adversarial, employer/employee relationship with the other musicians, many of whom took a dim view of his refusal to ingest “recreational substances” -- and following a tour in the summer of 1969 he made the decision the disband the Mothers. Albums featuring live performances by the group (Weasels Ripped My Flesh, Burnt Weeny Sandwich, both 1970) continued to be released after its dissolution, however, and material from this line-up would continue to surface more than two decades later (such as Ahead of Their Time, a recording of a 1968 performance at The Royal Festival Hall in London that was made available in 1993)

For his next project, Zappa assembled a group of accomplished players (including some Mothers veterans like Ian Underwood and Roy Estrada) to create the primarily instrumental, jazz-leaning collection Hot Rats (1969). Almost immediately afterwards, a similarly-oriented album titled King Kong was recorded for violinist Jean-Luc Ponty, featuring both Zappa’s compositions and production. A brief “reunion” tour with the Mothers was then organized, but the fickle bandleader organized a new band under the same name not long afterwards, retaining only Underwood from the original line-up. It was this band -- fronted by the dual vocals of Howard Kaylan and Mark Volman (formerly of The Turtles) and also including British drummer Aynsley Dunbar -- that both performed the music and provided the principal actors for Zappa’s second film/album project, 200 Motels (1971): a highly-stylized, comically nightmarish portrayal of life on the road, constructed around actual dialogue and behavior that Zappa had witnessed from his bandmates. The film also enlisted the acting skills of Ringo Starr (portraying a dwarf), Keith Moon (portraying a licentious nun) and Theodore Bikel (portraying the devil), with on-screen musical performances by the Royal Philharmonic integrated into the story. Frank continued to perform with this new line-up until the end of 1971, the shows featuring constantly-evolving, sexually-themed skits (primarily enacted by Kaylan and Volman) woven into his complex musical arrangements. This second incarnation of the Mothers was abruptly terminated at a show at the Rainbow Theatre in London on 10 December, mere days after the band had lost all its gear in a fire that had erupted during a performance in Montreaux: just as Frank was returning to the stage for an encore, a demented fan attacked him, pushing him into the orchestra pit ten feet below. He would spend the next several weeks in a London hospital, recovering from the numerous injuries brought about by the fall; surgery to repair his throat caused his voice to drop a third of an octave

Despite being in a leg cast and confined to a wheelchair, Zappa resumed his musical activities as soon as was possible, once again exploring the largely-instrumental fusion direction of Hot Rats with the aid of Dunbar, dynamic keyboardist George Duke and an extensive brass/wind section. The first result was the album Waka/Jawaka (1972), followed later in the year by The Grand Wazoo; various permutations of the band -- usually billed under the name The Grand Wazoo, although sometimes still referred to as The Mothers -- subsequently toured the material in the States and Europe, but Zappa found that he enjoyed the company of these more serious players less than the rowdy shenanigans of his previous bandmates. Frank then switched his focus back towards a more commercial, song-oriented approach with the albums Over-Nite Sensation (1973) and Apostrophe (’), which included some of the few songs in the Zappa catalogue that were ever given any airplay: “Montana”, “Don’t Eat The Yellow Snow” and “Cosmik Debris”. Even with these more radio-friendly pieces, however, the musical complexity remained considerable, and all of the above songs include the compositional twists (often rendered by superhuman percussionist Ruth Underwood) that had become Zappa’s trademark

In 1975, the final two albums bearing the Mothers’ name were released: One Size Fits All (whose content was a hybrid of the “Wazoo” and “Apostrophe” approaches) and Bongo Fury (a collaboration between Zappa and estranged friend Captain Beefheart). For the remainder of the decade, Frank divided his time between orchestral projects and a more rock-oriented band -- both of which allowed him to maintain his typical routine of perpetual rehearsal and touring. The next album, Zoot Allures (1976), displayed a shift in his recorded output, with his social satire pieces being given a heavier rock sound and his instrumental pieces alternating between complex ensemble arrangements and settings for his guitar solos. 1976 also saw the resolution of Frank’s first lawsuit against a record label, his action against MGM resulting in an out-of-court settlement that gave him control of his master tapes; this activity was resumed once again only a year later, when he sued his new label Warner Brothers for breach of contract after they failed to pay him for the four albums he delivered (all at once) to fulfill his obligations. The albums did eventually surface as Zappa in New York (1978), Studio Tan (1978), Sleep Dirt (1979) and Orchestral Favorites (1979), but it would be nearly two decades before they were presented as in the multi-disc format (Läther, 1996) that he had intended for them

By the end of 1979 Zappa had established his own record label, and had himself become established as one of the most accomplished and demanding bandleaders in the music industry. The players he enlisted during the following decade were generally not previously-established names, but even a short tenure as a member of Zappa’s band would earn a musician a considerable amount of professional credibility, and several graduates from the 80s line-ups emerged to launch significant careers in their own right -- drummer Terry Bozzio, and guitarists Adrian Belew and Steve Vai amongst them. Zappa’s recorded output during this period became more prolific than ever, with most of the material now being culled from a vast tape archive containing nearly every one of his live performances. Between 1981 and 1983, nine new albums (several of them double-disc sets) were issued: Tinsel Town Rebellion (1981), three volumes of collected guitar solos titled Shut Up ‘N Play Yer Guitar, Shut Up ‘N Play Yer Guitar Some More and Return Of The Son Of Shut Up ‘N Play Yer Guitar (all 1981), You Are What You Is (1981), Ship Arriving Too Late To Save A Drowning Witch (1982), The Man From Utopia (1982), Baby Snakes (also a concert film, 1983), and the first of his classical collections with the London Symphony Orchestra (LSO Volume 1, 1983). In the midst of this outpour arrived “Valley Girl”, the most commercially successful song of his career (included on the Drowning Witch album). Featuring the voice of his daughter Moon Unit Zappa imitating the cant of a San Fernando Valley teenager, the song gave Zappa a rare appearance in the top 40, while the revenue earned by this unexpected hit subsequently made it possible for the composer to finance several of his less lucrative orchestral projects

In 1984 Zappa released Thing-Fish, a demented and profane 3-album story that he had initially intended to turn into a full-scale stage musical. Although Zappa continued to put out numerous live documents and archival collections, the majority of his studio-recorded releases from 1984 onwards were oriented towards “serious” compositions rather than songs, either assembled by means of the Synclavier -- Francesco Zappa (1984), Frank Zappa Meets The Mothers Of Prevention (1985), Jazz From Hell (1986) -- or performed by an orchestra -- the part-synclavier/part-Pierre Boulez-conducted collection The Perfect Stranger (1984) and LSO Volume 2 (1987). In the period from mid-1988 to mid-1992, his output remained focused on the You Can’t Do That On Stage Anymore archival series, six volumes of primarily live recordings that ranged across the entire span of his career; these were only interrupted by a pair of more contemporary live collections in 1991, The Best Band You Never Heard In Your Life and Make A Jazz Noise Here, both culled from recordings of his final tour in 1988

By the mid-1980s Zappa’s reputation as an outspoken social critic had drawn him into various non- or extra-musical contexts, the most visible of these being precipitated by the public hearings held in September 1985 to address the record ratings system demanded by the Parents’ Music Resource Center. Amongst the list of music industry figures called to speak -- ranging from Twisted Sister’s Dee Snider to country boy John Denver -- Zappa delivered the most thoroughly researched and well-considered testimony; this increased public profile immediately resulted in several invitations to speak as a guest lecturer, most often on the topic of censorship. In 1989 he composed a score to the Cousteau Society documentary Outrage at Valdez in order to draw more attention to the ecological disaster it portrayed, and for which he donated his fee back to the Society. As the 1980s came to a close, Frank also became more active in different business ventures, establishing Why Not?, a consulting company geared towards facilitating U.S. investment in the Soviet Union just prior to the fall of communism; these dealings eventually led to a request in 1990 from Czech president Vaclav Havel for Zappa to officially represent Czechia’s trade interests in the United States (an arrangement that was forcibly terminated by the first Bush administration soon afterwards). For a brief period in 1991, he even researched the possibility of running for president himself, and a few grassroots groups continued to pursue this idea independently until Zappa’s death two years later

In 1992, Frank began work on two projects that proved to be the successful culmination of various career-long musical threads. The first of these was brought about by the Ensemble Modern, a musician-run classical outfit that specialized in performing modern works; with their dedicated perseverance, he created The Yellow Shark, a series of European concerts and ultimately a CD release that at last provided the composer with satisfactory performances of his classical pieces. The Ensemble also contributed somewhat to the other project: a double disc set titled Civilization Phaze III (1993), which revisited the compositional collage approach established on Lumpy Gravy twenty-four years earlier. This album saw both the realization of the kind of work he had been striving to achieve on the synclavier, and the only-recently-possible manipulation of a series of absurdist discussions that he had recorded in a piano during the sessions for Gravy. Towards the end of 1993 his worsening prostate cancer (first detected in 1990) prevented him from pursuing any further projects. The disease would ultimately claim his life on 4 December 1993

Now here’s a picture of and I mugging anyone with an ironic mullet or facial hair until rents start going back down

and would like to reiterate that it isn’t

It’s going to be hot and shitty today but I still gotta park my ass at the World War I memorial at the park and continue editing by hand what I’ve printed out of Know Bueno

When editing It’s All One Thing™ I stumbled into understanding that when you write by hand you simultaneously imprint what you put down back upon yourself while simultaneously freeing up mental real estate space. Nicholas Carr wrote a prescient book on stuff like this called The Shallows that covers this and much more. I’ll spare you what from that work has aged like a fine wine but I often think of the anecdotal exchange early in it where Carr mentions Nietzsche and Wagner corresponding and upon the former acquiring a typewriter - the latter noted something to the effect of ‘the cold and mechanical efficiency acquired had cost your writing some teeth’

Now, some of you are gonna play ‘that card’ so I’ll play it for you:

In between writing and philosophizing, Nietzsche took the time to enter into a strange friendship with composer/musician Richard Wagner, who was more than twice Nietzsche’s age. It began well, but publicly degenerated into a bitter intellectual and emotional feud. There existed a jealous and intensely competitive love triangle between Nietzsche, Wagner, and Wagner’s wife Cosima. Wagner could be a manipulative brute, and the combined fucked up childhoods of Nietzsche and Cosima bound them in submission to Wagner. Wagner would subjugate them both to seductive, emotionally abusive behavior. Wagner knew about Nietzsche’s secret life as a homosexual, and Nietzsche continued to obsess over this fact long after Wagner’s death

“Name go in book” indeed!

Other than “work” work my life has more or less been exercise, getting my steps in and working on the book. The World Cup is enough of a distraction for most to notice I haven’t picked up my phone in a while

Been shamelessly hitting on women acting like they’re suddenly in a Clams Casino music video with “I love your outfit” or “I love your hair” with astounding success before picking dialogue requiring the fewest number of words to make nice. What can I say, I’m into women into me

Not every women offers recourse and some women are content with just a glance. While eye contact can be utilized for fun and profit (pic related) a woman can scratch her wrists and forearms into looking like they have 3rd degree burns, apply (then reapply) chapstick or lipstick, almost strangle themselves fixing their hair and have several near-misses with objects and people before I can see the whites of their eyes - but they sometimes just choose to not look back

I am also often impressed how long a woman can be on her phone and navigate sidewalk through peripheral vision and the occasional glance up from the digital ayahuasca demon scrying rectangle that shows ads for things you think about but don’t say out loud that holds them captive in ways-haha just kidding folks everything’s just fine

I’d like to take a moment and say that getting in shape has made me sympathize with beautiful women. More than half the opposite sex are shambling butter and ham disasters picking at their fabric-eating crotches and under their Molochian fupas at the sight of someone who takes care of themselves. Obese reptiles with awful hairdos, cheesecake elementals keeping up with today’s fashion.

I have written on fat people in my work (BOY, HAVE I!) but holy shit now the porkers look at me the same way a man in prison who eats battery and assault three times a week and has settled into a life of punking out newcomers thirteen years into his twenty-five year stretch looks at some chinless worm with a foot fetish who worked in Accounts Receivable while embezzling his company is marched to his cell with his stupid head framing his stupid face that looks at the floor beneath his feet before officially beginning day one of God knows how long. It is the lurid, exploitative imagination that masks his selfish and indignant wants and desires way he looks at fresh fish that fat women now look at me

Some beanbag chairs with Dixie cup-shaped dainty hooves look at me and smile like that and it makes me think things that have convinced me that one out of every two-hundred people I walk by can hear me screaming in my head. Maybe there are no more ‘regular, normal’ looking people out there anymore. At least among the gen pop of society

Been warming up marker and spray paint on the outskirts of Manhattan where you sometimes have astoundingly beautiful views or urban horror RNG before/during/after getting my steps in: All Dreams Begin as Nightmares Ascended Difficulty

The mustache is like a 2nd mask, I really need a haircut and have earned a fine farmers tan. Women like it when artists aren’t soft little wiener men or shambles. To answer “what do you do?” with “I’m a writer and artist” has afforded me something inside I struggle to articulate but provides a sense of worth I struggle to articulate

>writer

Came across something in my notes that took me back: future plans for SUPERPREDATOR (it’s as mobile-unfriendly as humanly possible, you’ve been warned)

Anyways, just wanted to give a heads up on how Know Bueno is shaping up. This isn’t a definitive and finalized chapter list, but it’s a start. I have a well-written chapter on Frank Zappa I’d like to use, another on Dostoevsky. Perhaps the shortest chapters will be grafted onto the chapters of tweets, one-liners, premises, etc., ashes to ashes, turn turn turn

There’s stuff that’s unsorted and honestly I don’t know where to use if not in Know Bueno, but I’d like to leave you on a chapter I’m still sorting out and would very much like for it to be included. This will be in the 2020 chapter, and I’d like to take a moment to touch on something

The original introduction to the 2nd book was going to be “someone smarter or funnier should have written this stuff down or spoken about it somewhere but here we are”. I still feel that way about certain things because I’m not the smartest guy in the room. HOWEVER, I’m pretty good at paying attention and know I’m good at expressing myself. If people learn about the gene altering mystery fluid, having 13 years and counting left before USSR-style disintegration of the United States economy, transitioning being dress rehearsal for suicide, pit bulls and their owners being incompatible with society, yaddda yadda yadda then so be it

In this case, 5G

My work is called The I Told You So Trilogy for a reason

Haha, man

Studies on 5G health effects:

>severe depression

>anxiety

>insomnia

>skin disorders

>permanent DNA damage

>sperm damage and decrease

>infertility

>miscarriages

>mental disorders

>autoimmune disorders

>anhedonia

>cancer

>autism

>heart arrhythmia

>decreased muscle mass

>lethargy

>behavioral issues

>ADHD

>ADD

>schizophrenia

THE RIDE IS ALREADY IN MOTION

Report of final results regarding brain and heart tumors in Sprague-Dawley rats exposed from prenatal life until natural death to mobile phone radiofrequency field representative of a 1.8GHz GSM base station environmental emission. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29530389
Report of Partial Findings from the National Toxicology Program Carcinogenesis Studies of Cell Phone Radiofrequency Radiation in Hsd: Sprague Dawley® SD rats (Whole Body Exposures) https://www.biorxiv.org/contentbiorxivearly/2016/05/26/055699.full.pdf

Cancer epidemiology update, following the 2011 IARC evaluation of radiofrequency electromagnetic fields (Monograph 102). Epidemiological studies strengthen and support the conclusion that RFR should be categorized as carcinogenic to humans (IARC Group 1). https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/30196934

“IARC has said they are going to reevaluate the findings and have classed it as a high priority but that may take 2 to 4 years, Some scientists are calling it to be a group 1 and some are calling it to be a 2A

Wi-Fi is an important threat to human health https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0013935118300355 “Highlights 7 effects have each been repeatedly reported following Wi-Fi & other EMF exposures
•Established Wi-Fi effects include apoptosis, oxidat. stress &:
•testis/sperm dysfunct; Neuropsych; DNA impact; hormone change; Ca2+ rise.
•Wi-Fi is thought to act via voltage-gated calcium channel activation.
•One claim of no Wi-Fi effects was found to be deeply flawed.”

https://patents.justia.com/patent/6017302
>Subliminal acoustic manipulation of nervous systems
>Patent number: 6017302
>Abstract: In human subjects, sensory resonances can be excited by subliminal atmospheric acoustic pulses that are tuned to the resonance frequency. The 1/2 Hz sensory resonance affects the
autonomic nervous system and may cause relaxation, drowsiness, or sexual excitement, depending on the precise acoustic frequency near 1/2 Hz used. The effects of the 2.5 Hz resonance include slowing of certain cortical processes, sleepiness, and disorientation. For these effects to occur, the acoustic intensity must lie in a certain deeply subliminal range. Suitable apparatus consists of a portable battery-powered source of weak subaudio acoustic radiation. The method and apparatus can be used by the general public as an aid to relaxation, sleep, or sexual arousal, and clinically for the control and perhaps treatment of insomnia, tremors, epileptic seizures, and anxiety disorders.
>Remote magnetic manipulation of nervous systems
>Patent number: 6238333
>Abstract: Apparatus and method for remote manipulation of nervous systems by the magnetic dipole field of a rotating bar magnet. Reliance on modulation of spontaneous spiking patterns of sensory nerve receptors, and exploitation of a resonance mechanism of certain neural circuits, allows the use of very weak magnetic fields. This, together with the large magnetic moments that can be obtained with a permanent bar magnet, makes it possible to effectively manipulate the nervous system of a subject over a distance of several hundred meters, using a small portable battery-powered device. The method can be used in law enforcement for standoff situations.

https://patents.google.com/patent/US5356368A/en
>Method of and apparatus for inducing desired states of consciousness >Abstract
>Improved methods and apparatus for entraining human brain patterns, employing frequency following response (FFR) techniques, facilitate attainment of desired states of consciousness. In one embodiment, a plurality of electroencephalogram (EEG) waveforms, characteristic of a given state of consciousness, are combined to yield an EEG waveform to which subjects may be susceptible more readily. In another embodiment, sleep patterns are reproduced based on observed brain patterns during portions of a sleep cycle; entrainment principles are applied to induce sleep. In yet another embodiment, entrainment principles are applied in the work environment, to induce and maintain a desired level of consciousness. A portable device also is described.
https://patents.google.com/patent/US3629521A/en
>The present invention relates to the stimulation of the sensation of hearing in persons of impaired hearing abilities or in certain cases in persons totally deaf utilizing RF energy

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Dolk, H et al, 1997. Cancer incidence near radio and television transmitters in Great Britain. American Journal of Epidemiology 145(1): 1-9.
Dumansky, JD & Shandala, MG, 1974. The biological action and hygenic significance of elecromagnetic fields of superhigh and ultrahigh frequencies in densely populated areas. In: Biological Effects and Health Hazards of Microwave Radiation. Proceedings of an International Symposium, Czerski, P et al, (Eds) Warsaw, 15-18 October 1973, Polish Medical
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Dutta, SK et al, 1989. Radiofrequency radiation-induced calcium ion efflux enhancement from human and other neuroblastoma cells in culture. Bioelectromagnetics 10: 197-202.

An astounding amount of information on 5G, among other topics, I culled from 8chan. Their pdf board alone was like a digital branch of the modern Library of Alexandria until you know what happened

Looking forward to when I can spam KNOW BUENO in sharpie, spray paint, with flyers, USPS shipping labels, anything and everything. Can’t wait for you all to finally read the reverse-foundation myth and copypasta list chapters, really can’t

Will be back on Twitter and IG in a week or so

In conclusion:

There is a lot of disinfo, deliberate ignorance, and intellectual dishonesty about what the mRNA vaccine is and the mechanism behind it. I joke about this thing being a ‘gene altering mystery fluid’ that doesn’t do anything against Chinese lung herpes but it’s so much worse than that

It’s true mRNA technology has been around for a while. What kept it from being used in widespread vaccination was a lack of a way to protect the mRNA long enough to get inside of cells and ribosomes, where it can be “read” to construct a protein. Instead of admitting this, they (Moderna, Pfizer, etc.) went ahead with an extremely lipid-soluble coating. That would guarantee the mRNA injected easily and quickly passed through membranes so it could get to the site of action (ribosomes)

But it also meant that, unlike other vaccines which have their particles taken up in normal lymph flow and end up in lymph-nodes local to site of injection where foreign, antigenic molecules are processed by dendritic cells and stay in the extracellular space otherwise (outside and in-between cells, the interstitium), the mRNA injected in these vaccines ends up everywhere, easily passing from the interstitium to the blood stream and across the blood-brain barrier

Oops

Compared with getting a virus, the virus is only able to bond with and enter some cells; injecting its genetic material and taking over production to make more virus. It is limited to cells displaying molecules each virus is capable of binding to (in the case of SARS-CoV-2 this is a molecule called ACE2)

In “normal” vaccination, only dendritic and a few other immune cells (which are designed to ingest and deal with antigenic molecules) end up with viral proteins in them. These specific cells are part of the immune reaction that ends up with long term and robust immunity

With mRNA vaccination the injection is in the deltoid (most of the time) but the particles of mRNA move easily in and out of cells and across their membranes. Any cell and subsequently its ribosomes which come into contact with the exogenous mRNA will start to produce the altered SARS-CoV-2 spike proteins that the mRNA instructs for

In the normal course of cellular function the master copy of your build and operating instructions (DNA) has a page or chapter photocopied as needed (mRNA) and sent out to factories (ribosomes) which read the instructions and build proteins according to them. During this process, whatever protein is being made gets reported back to the immune system

This happens by each of your cells taking one of the things its factories are making and displaying them on the outside of their cell membrane. You can think of this as a sign at city limits which has an example of what each factory is making inside. Security (T-Cells of the immune system) come by but can’t get inside, they just look at the sign to see if something is off. If something is,they can nuke the whole city (induce lysis) or tag the sign for other bulldozer immune cells to come by and level it

This function fights both cancer and viral infection. If either of those things cause a cell to start making abnormal or foreign proteins then the cell is instructed to kill itself (lysis) or is tagged to be destroyed by other immune cells

Up until now in human history you could only end up with antigenic (things which set off an immune response) molecules displayed to the immune system on a subset of cells. Either a virus infected your cells and that virus could only attach and enter a tiny number of overall cells in your body (like SARS-CoV-2 and cells which display ACE2) or you could get cancer (which is essentially one cell over and over and over)

Outside of that, antigenic molecules would be immediately destroyed by natural killer cells or would be collected through lymph and processed then displayed by dendritic cells in lymph tissue (nodes mostly). These dendritic cells look like massive tree root systems and all they do is process foreign material and display it on the Major Histocompatibility Complex

source: ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK27156/

That’s the molecule complex that acts as the “signs at city limits” announcing what’s going on inside a cell to the outside world. It is the sign security (the immune system) monitors in order to know if there is an issue inside, as security is a cell itself and cannot enter another cell. The immune system is blind to the intracellular environment besides these signs (MHC)

One type of T-Cell, T-Helper Cells, move up and down the “root system” of the dendritic cell, just looking at all the signs. In this way, your lymph nodes and spleen (where this process mostly happens) act as security checkpoints eventually coming across fragments of anything that ends up in your body. If they find something wrong, they induce an immune response to that thing which will eventually reach wherever the molecules they saw came from

Back to what we are doing by injecting these lipid-soluble mRNA particles into people’s bodies; littering them throughout all tissue, dependent on each individual’s weight, lipid percentage, hydration, cardiovascular state, anatomy, etc. Wherever concentrations of these end up you have random cells which start to produce altered spike proteins and display them on their signs. The immune system notices and starts attacking those areas

As each mRNA vaccinated cell is destroyed they spill their contents of altered spike protein (cytotoxic itself) into the local area. The vaccine makers know the path to immune activation is through MHC (signs), and don’t really address or care about all the excess spike protein being made. They want the sign to say “altered spike protein” but in the background factories (ribosomes) are churning out actual spike protein into the inside of the cell This is how a virus reproduces as well. Once infected, more viral particles are constructed inside a cell but they don’t get released to go infect other cells until the first infected cell is destroyed and they can escape

Once these signs are made they are permanent, sort of, and this is where the analogy breaks down. All the atoms in your body are replaced about once a decade. Even your bones are constantly re-structured by osteoclasts and osteoblasts, so every ten years you have entirely different atoms making up those bones. Even cells that generally don’t replicate or die until you do like neurons and muscle (muscle cells themselves get bigger when you work out, mostly, you don’t get new muscle cells although nothing is ever 100%) constantly replace their constituent parts

The MHC displaying the product the factories are making will stay embedded in the cell wall until that section of the membrane is replaced due to other natural processes (such as endocytosis). This means that people who end up with persistent neurological or cardiac side effects may have them for years until most of the signs stating the cell is making spike protein are torn down. For neurons in the brain that could be years, not to mention the fact that in the meantime the immune system is actively trying to kill off any of those cells, often successfully

This is why I’ve been joking and calling it gene altering mystery fluid. I know its not quite perfectly accurate - but hey, up yours - at this point in my life I want to be proven wrong and not just about this

𝙃𝙪𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙞𝙩𝙮 𝙙𝙞𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙗𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙡𝙮. 𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙨𝙤 𝙢𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙬𝙚 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨. 𝘼 𝙜𝙞𝙜𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙘 𝙥𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙙𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙈𝙃𝘾. 𝙒𝙚 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙖 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙚𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙞𝙨𝙢𝙨 𝙬𝙚 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝. 𝙉𝙤𝙩 𝙤𝙣𝙡𝙮 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙡𝙖𝙧𝙜𝙚 𝙨𝙬𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙈𝙃𝘾 𝙗𝙡𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙗𝙤𝙭𝙚𝙨 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙤𝙡𝙚 𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙤𝙛 𝘾𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙎𝙚𝙡𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 (𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙗𝙤𝙙𝙮 ‘𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬𝙨’ 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞𝙨𝙣’𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙖𝙘𝙠) 𝙞𝙨 𝙖𝙣 𝙤𝙥𝙚𝙣 𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣. 𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙣𝙤 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜𝙞𝙩𝙪𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙨𝙩𝙪𝙙𝙞𝙚𝙨 𝙤𝙣 𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨, 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙛𝙚𝙩𝙮 𝙙𝙖𝙩𝙖 𝙞𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙣-𝙚𝙭𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙗𝙚𝙮𝙤𝙣𝙙 “𝙞𝙩 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙗𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙮 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨𝙣’𝙩 𝙠𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩 90 𝙙𝙖𝙮𝙨”

Governments and corporations saw the opportunity to make hundreds of billions of dollars and quickly grabbed whatever was on the shelf, dusted it off, and rushed it to market. It’s one of the reasons that massive and rapid distribution is the key. Not knowing what would happen, it was and is imperative to get as many doses injected as possible

While careful, isolated, controlled, longitudinal studies would easily recognize collective negative effects, even though the specifics differed, uncontrolled mass distribution during phase 4 study will make it easy to mask. Investigating any specifics, like myocarditis, will only ever bring up a low level signal that is easily dismissed as “COVID causes myocarditis too!”

The collective information provided by all the signals would tell a different story. The VAERs database provides the strongest signal but is easily ignored due to its unverified nature. 𝗜𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗮 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗱𝘂𝗰𝗲 𝗶𝗿𝗿𝗲𝗳𝘂𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘂𝗹𝘁𝘀, 𝘄𝗵𝗶𝗰𝗵 𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗻𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝗹 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗰𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝟲 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗮 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗱𝘂𝗰𝘁. 𝗪𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗹 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗽𝘀, 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗮 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗯𝗲 𝗲𝗮𝘀𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗸𝗲𝘄 𝗶𝗻 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵

These vaccines also have no hope of imparting robust long term immunity and are effectively short term antibody therapy to one specific part of one specific strain. You need to have a broad spectrum of antigenic sites to induce robust and long lasting immunity. That’s why vaccines are more complicated than re-producing a single bacterial protein and rubbing it on a cut

Although doing that with whole, dead bacteria (scabs) is where we saw inoculation first work. Whether the vaccines were attenuated, destroyed, or dead - the only vaccines we have ever seen impart robust and long lasting immunity provided the whole host of antigenic particles found in the wild. It’s another reason why mRNA wasn’t in widespread use in addition to the technical problem of a protective coating or encapsulation. They just don’t work very well and are not vaccines

Mild endogenous antibody therapy would be a better description which is why they had to change the definition of the word ‘vaccine.’ Also, ‘cause some people cry and shit their pants at ‘gene altering mystery fluid’. Even though, you know...

I’m not going to bother vaguely asserting some education, position of authority, or access to unavailable information. On the contrary, anyone who reads this will see I know what I’m talking about. I tried my best to both use proper technical terminology so this can all be easily verified and researched further as well as bridge the technical gap so anyone could understand the mechanism behind the vaccine

𝗕𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗻𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲, 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘀𝗲 𝗺𝗥𝗡𝗔 ‘𝘃𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀’ 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗱𝘂𝗰𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱, 𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝘂𝘀𝗲, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗹𝗼𝘄 𝗹𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗰 𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻𝗮𝗹𝘀. Every time anyone brings up a specific side effect they won’t get anywhere and legacy media will always have the fallback of, “basically the same as without the vaccine but having COVID.” What about the risk before? How come people were banished from social media and fired from their jobs for bringing this up?

Just imagine people whose lives were upended for statements like “myocarditis is nearly unheard of in children.” I hope this helps someone explain to a loved one and win them over. As more and more shots are mandated to keep “antibody levels” high (since when are you supposed to walk around with high antibody levels? That’s a sign of infection, not immunity, antibody levels should fade quickly and be replaced with primed memory cells), people’s careers end and anyone speaking about this is silenced but people will have questions

In early 2022, the Australian FDA acknowledged they don’t know if frameshift in the stop codon is even possible and that’s not counting the plasmid contamination

An anon’s serotonin dysregulation theory could be happening but there’s no clear evidence of it (yet)

Even the tampered official data is pretty damning Whatever the fuck the gene altering mystery fluid does to DNA is inheritable

“Hey, remember when we all agreed that genetic code from RNA viruses could never integrate into host DNA? Well, its probable” - See: Potential Mechanisms for Human Genome Integration of Genetic Code from

SARS-CoV-2 mRNA Vaccination: Implications for Disease by Anthony M. Kyriakopoulos, Peter A.McCullough, Greg Nigh and Stephanie Seneff. ISSN: 2329-6895

In conclusion, I leave you with some words from the 2nd volume of the I Told You So trilogy:

June 19th 10PM is the Roast of Star Wars July 3rd is the Roast of America I'll get a headcount as to how many people can be in the basement, it's on the list of places to hold the next Cars & Women Magazine live reading

I think the basement at the Bibblebash Comedy Bunker can accommodate , the place is on the list of potential venues for the next Cars & Women Magazine live reading

Big ups to for letting me go past the time limit here

While the appeals process for 718Tv goes on and on and on like the Simpsons staggering across the sands of time, the third book is almost done and with it comes a lot of flyers I’ve been itching to put up of the I Told You So trilogy

Glorious Leader, Michael van Gore of Anatomy of the Heads, has secured a spot in the Indonesian Homeowners Association and has now cemented the first formal steps of his evolution as a global supervillain. With this expands Cars & Women Magazine to do everything in-house, and with this I bring good news: Issue #11 is manifesting through sheer tyranny of will and soon the stapling then mailing out with ransom letters made out of cut up newspaper and magazines

While I have your attention, I don’t really have a clue what to write here and am happy to field any suggestions. If the goal is getting the I Told You So trilogy and my novel out, keeping the zine in motion, screenprinting shirts and putting up flyers/stencils - what goes on substack?

Closing out with a chapter in Know Bueno will be about SIDS, which is in convenient thread format here:

Oh, and a new pfp. Shoutouts to revolving style, find him over at IG