“Carolina in My Mind” - James Taylor

A slightly different approach to this article this week…I honestly haven’t been discovering as much new music lately, predominantly because I’ve been involved in a lot of shows as of late. I’ve been taking a break from playing my own music and have been working on several collaborations that have been really fulfilling to me. I just wrapped up an album release show for a friend about two weeks ago (more on that in a minute) and next in line is a stripped down acoustic set with another friend of mine as he releases a new album. (also more on that in a moment)

As a part of the latter show I mentioned, we’re doing a handful of covers that I’ve never played before. There’s a Mk.gee song, “Nebraska” by Bruce Springsteen, which has been a ton of fun to dive into…and then there’s “Carolina in My Mind”.

I didn’t grow up on a ton of James Taylor…I’m aware of a handful of his songs but it just wasn’t something that was in heavy rotation in my childhood. So needless to say, it’s been a joy discovering a lot of his catalog later in life. Getting to really sit down with this song and learn the ins and outs of it has been a treat…and while I’m not even from either of the Carolina’s, this song still makes me nostalgic for home. I love how much of a daydream it feels like, and I can’t wait to sing it for the first time for an audience in a few weeks!

“Breonna’s Curse” - Lawrence Matthews

The music I’ve been spending the most time with these past few weeks has been that of my friend Lawrence Matthews. I’m helping him execute a kind of show that he’s never done before on Sept. 19th, and we’re taking several of his more heavily produced tracks and stripping them down to just some guitar loops and acoustically performed rhythms. It’s gotten me in a creative bag that I don’t know if I ever have really tapped into this heavily, but it’s been really excited to hear what’s been coming out.

This song, alternatively, did not need any alteration at my hands. No loops to build, not tracks to layer, no words to sing…just a guitar part in an already intimate song by Lawrence. Rediscovering this has been a treat, and it reinvigorated the excitement I get every time I feel the intensity of the message in a Lawrence song. Excitement might not be the perfect word…it’s more so a gratitude. I appreciate anyone who uses their platform artistically to attack the important things. Lawrence carries messages with a heavy weight at every turn of his creativity, and getting the chance to be welcomed into that world as a creative myself has been very rewarding.

“The Trouble” - Nubia Yasin

I had the pleasure of being a part of Nubia Yasin’s album release show recently for her debut album Slightly Sacred. A truly wonderful body of work and an amazing first album to introduce herself to the world with. The performance was a wonderful time and it was fun re-digging into her songs, some of which I had a small hand in crafting in the studio during her tracking sessions. We’re already collaborating on her next project as I’ve been revising several of her demos for the next batch of songs she intends to share with the masses.

This particular song I did not play the guitar on, but it’s been my favorite as of now from her new album. That may change…but the production choices from IMAKEMADBEATS and the groove of this song are so infectious to me. Highly recommend sitting with the entire album, which speaks on power, and claim to be a fan now before everyone is and you still have time to appear cool.

That’s it for this week, I’ll be back again soon with more of what I’m listening to, some more unreleased demos of my own, and the occasional rambling of a new thought. Thank you as always for being here!

-Aaron

I haven’t been recording any music and writing has ceased a bit over these past two months, but I’m still sitting on so much stuff I’m really proud of, and in the coming months my goal is to get the songs I have a bit more organized, and before the end of the year head into the studio to knock a few out so I can hit 2027 with tons of new music to offer.

Will this song be one of them? Hard to tell at the moment…

I just finished this one today actually, and I’ve been picking at it over the past week. It’s titled “Leaving the Party Early”, and at face value is about just that. How much I’m always conceptualizing to escape large social gatherings without anyone noticing, and pondering if anyone did notice, would they even care anyway?

More seriously though, this song is exploring my fear of dying young, and leaving this planet sooner than I want to. A bit dark, yes, but I’ve had several friends, or friends of friends, leave in the past year seemingly unexpectedly, and in some cases with no reasonable explanation at all. I think we all hear about those random stories where someone just drops out of nowhere due to some sort of freak health condition that wasn’t noticed or some sort of crazy accident, and everyone is just left thinking “what a shame”.

I can’t explain why, but I have a pretty intense fear of being one of those people. It’s been on my mind for the past couple years honestly, and I think all the time about how much I do not want to be an outlier on some sort of health statistic chart that leaves doctors guessing for years. I think a lot about all of the things and people I don’t want to leave behind, the friends I hope I can live long lives with, and where I’d possible go if I had to leave here. Not the most joyful thoughts, but I think they are important thoughts.

Anyway, that’s what this song is trying to encompass. It’s the metaphor I attempted to tackle and I just completed it a few hours ago, so I’m still trying to determine if I accomplished that in my eyes. (or ears I guess)

Thank you so much for listening and for being here. Lyrics below for everybody, and voice memo further below for paid subscribers. If you are not a paid subscriber, and you’re interested in supporting me along my artistic journey, I hope consider becoming one!

Love you all and talk to you again soon,

-Aaron

Leaving the party early
would you remember I was there?
There are some I'd leave alone
But most will just look at their phone
I wonder if they'd care

Leaving the party early
miracle that I even came
Now I've walked into the show
and see all the faces I know
I wonder if they'll stay

Thinking about it
ever since I arrived
Thinking about it
it always makes me cry

Leaving the party early
don't know where else that I could go
If I just can't hang around
and every light's going out
I hope I make it home

Thinking about it
ever since I arrived
Thinking about it
it always makes me cry

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“Winning Streak” - Glen Hansard

It’s a bit hard to figure out how to write about this one, so this may come out a bit jumbled. I, like many others who are aware of Glen Hansard, only really knew him for one song. I knew a few others, I’d know his voice if I heard it, and I love “Once”, but I couldn’t give you any facts about his catalog or an in depth analysis of his career like a true fan would.

For anyone who doesn’t know, Glen passed away unexpectedly last week in a solo vehicle motorcycle accident. And if you don’t know who Glen Hansard is and are unsatisfied with my lack thereof backstory, then I strongly suggest you look him up because the details of his story that I do know are pretty remarkable and inspiring.

Anyway, I did what most people do when these sorts of things happen, and I started pulling up more of his songs as a way to pay homage to him, and to learn more about this person the music community lost. I considered myself a fan because most things I had heard up until that point I enjoyed, I just never really took the time to dive deeper.

Upon diving deeper, I feel pretty haunted by not only the loss of a truly incredible songwriter and storyteller, but by the fact that it takes losing someone before you really start paying attention to what’s there. I hate that I wasn’t enjoying his music more while he was around. I didn’t know this person and he didn’t know me of course but there’s still a reciprocation that I wish could’ve been provided, and it’s been making me wonder about all the ways I’m not reciprocating in my life currently with the people who are around me.

Anyway, don’t wait until people are gone to be very thankful for what they have to offer. This was one of several songs of Glen’s I discovered only after his passing, and currently it’s my favorite.

“just wanna forget you” - Maro

I’m positive I’ve posted at least one if not more Maro songs on this series before, but her catalog tends to be frequently revisited. This song came on my rotation during a drive the other day I was reminded not only of the haunting writing of Maro, but in this case, the virtuoso that is Pau Figueres.

I had the privilege of seeing Pau perform at Folk Alliance conference a few years ago and while I was already going into his showcase with excited high expectations, he still completely floored me with his impossible interpretations of the nylon stringed acoustic guitar…there was magic coming out of that instrument that genuinely didn’t feel like it could be possible. Utterly breath-taking. Listening to him on this track, while amazing, feels like it’s him in his comfort zone. (which, him in his comfort zone is already miles ahead of anybody else)

Anyway, I don’t want this series to turn into me sounding like a critic…this series is intended to peel back some things on my mind or happenings in life that I can publicly contemplate…but in this instance, I really just love the guitar in this song. I’m not heartbroken, I’m not melancholy, I just hear this and feel inspired to play more and to get more creative with my approach to the thing I do everyday.

Wait, there it is! I knew I’d get there eventually.

You can get caught up in your routines and your patterns and, while I think there is a ton of benefit in routine, and the art of the everyday practice…I also think making frequent conscious efforts to step outside of your comfort zone and approach something in a completely different way than you normally would, with intention, can often lead to the most fruitful self-discoveries. Hearing Pau play the guitar is a reminder of that for me. It’s a reminder that anything is truly impossible if you just believe it can be…and then work really hard at making it reality.

That’s it for this week, thank you for being here and I’ll be back to share more soon!

-Aaron

Point is…I heard one Eddie Van Halen guitar solo and became fixated on the guitar. It’s all I cared about. That was the seed. And then, that seed slowly started to grow from just the electric guitar, to the acoustic guitar and other instruments. Leaving rock music for folk and alternative and other mediums. And then these stems started branching off into songwriting…focusing less on the noise and more on the words. And while my love for songwriting is still my main creative driving force today…that love for songwriting branched further out into storytelling…starting at one place and ending in a different destination with a new sense of clarity and understanding. Many of these songs come from my own introspections but more and more over time, they have started to be inspired by external forces. People. Some I know and some are strangers. Decisions made and not made, looks given and received, identities discovered and some pondered, etc… And that’s where the top of my tree is now. It’s people. What are we doing, how do we work, and are we sure?

And it’s my interest in people that lead me to Paint What You Feel.

If I had to give you a mission statement for the purpose behind Paint What You Feel, it’d be as follows: Paint What You Feel is a participatory art experience, and its aim is to encourage vulnerability, give you space to tell your story, and to promote life with an awareness of what those around you are thinking and feeling.

I did this demonstration for the first time all the way back in 2017 on the University of Memphis campus. It was an amazing experience and oddly enough, despite how amazing it was, I shelved it for another 4 years. I’m not sure why…the idea had always stuck with me and I teased repeating it many times to myself but never brought the idea back out to the public until I manifested the courage post-pandemic. Since then, I’ve done this demonstration around the region, in several different cities and states, and every time it seems to promote conversation and expression, oftentimes in ways that I’m not even expecting. But if I can give somebody the chance to become aware of something, and/or be honest with themselves and others about something that’s on their mind, and do so through artistic expression…then I consider it a huge success.

For those of you who have read the first page of this without having any idea of what the hell I’m talking about, let me explain to you what Paint What You Feel really is. (for those who already know, feel free to skip to the next paragraph) PWYF is a demonstration I do where I stand, ideally in a place of high foot traffic, (and also a shady spot if I have to stand outside…learned that one the hard way) with a blindfold over my eyes and my shirt off. I set out several small plates with paints and brushes and cups with small deposits of water in then, and I hold a sign that simply reads, “I’m a product of you, paint what you feel”. From there, I do pretty much nothing. The goal is to let anyone who is passing by to paint whatever they want, and express whatever they desire using whatever paints they wish to use. A very important detail, I don’t speak while this is happening. Every now and then I might give a nod of acknowledgement if someone says something or asks a simple question, but I don’t AT ALL want to influence the expression of others through revealing any part of my identity, character traits, beliefs, desires or turn-offs. Anything. So I don’t respond to any elaborate questions that would require speech to answer. That’s the rule. I think I get the most honest representation of the minds and hearts of others the more I can allow the interaction to JUST be THEM, and remove me from the equation. I only want to be the canvas.

(if you chose to skip that paragraph and you’re now reading this because I instructed you to not read the explanation of the demonstration…I’ve actually changed my mind and I would like for you to go back and read that paragraph. I apologize for this inconvenience)

Patterns

Anyway, I didn’t want to write this article today to just tell you about the demonstration itself. Or simply explain what it is. I honestly could probably write several articles just on various experiences and lessons I’ve learned through doing it over and over again…and maybe I’ll end up doing that. But today I wanted to just focus on one.

My friends and I noticed a pattern while we were doing several of these demonstrations throughout the spring of 2023. We were traveling around to various college campuses in the region to conduct this “performance” of sorts, including stops in Memphis, Fayetteville, AR, Columbia, MO, Athens, GA…as well as a few others. After we were done with all of them, we noticed that it was funny how we could fairly precisely describe the emotional umbrella that most of the content that was painted on me fell under for each demonstration.

For instance, we all remembered the Memphis demonstration as being a bit darker. Not all dark, but definitely a higher volume of anger, or “anti-” this or that statements. Again, not all. There were plenty of very heart-felt and reflective paintings expressing more positive thoughts and feelings which were equally as beautiful. But there are plenty of demonstrations I’ve done where there are zero negative things painted on me so it was just peculiar that this particular go around had several frustrated or more angry paintings. Even down to the very first person who came up and painted a statement (I can’t remember the exact statement so I don’t want to try and quote it) that degraded a locally based church who just happened to be on campus that day with a tent set up trying to spread their own message.

There was another location we went to that we noticed I was filled with a higher volume of images as opposed to words, which was also unusual. Not that there’s a “usual” demonstration I guess because they are all different in their own ways, but a lot of times I’m filled with more words or phrases, along with a few pictures that are either meant to be metaphorical, or they are simply just pleasant graphics. But this particular demonstration, I was filled with way more “scenes” as opposed to just vocabulary

And then another where I had by far the most “Love” painted on me than anywhere else. Literally the word “Love”. I typically get a lot of that but there was one specific location where I was just covered in it in a noticeably more drastic amount than usual.

As we started to pinpoint the different identities of these various demonstrations…it caused a dialogue. Why is this? Is it just random that some places reacted differently than others? Or is there something that’s causing these identities to take shape? We pondered that question until it eventually hit all of us…

The Memphis demonstration I mentioned was a bit darker….I also mentioned how the first person who painted on me painted a message that demonized the local church organization. The demonstration where I had a high volume of images over words…I happened to be standing right outside of an art building on that campus, and the first group of people to interact with the experiment were a group of art students who chose to express themselves through their own art as opposed to statements. And the time I ended up with mostly “Love” all over my body? Camera footage showed that the very first person to paint on me in big letters on my stomach painted “Be Gentle”...and followed that up with a few “Love” paintings of her own.

This is a brief tangent but it sums up the whole point of me writing this article. That is, I remember watching an interview with Greta Gerwig several years ago, soon after she had a child with her husband. The interviewer was asking her of something she’s learned since having her baby and Greta responded with, and I’m paraphrasing…that we are pattern seeking individuals. We are a species who learns everything through patterns. We experience things, we remember and learn of the pattern of the results from our actions, and we adjust our actions accordingly. We take note of the patterns of others and notice the results of their actions, and we act accordingly. EVERYTHING is learned. Maybe we have some primal instincts that start us off, some basic neanderthal-like tendencies that are ingrained in our DNA somehow but the vast majority of our knowledge comes from the patterns we either witness or endure.

Each passerby at these demonstrations were influenced on how they should proceed to engage with the demonstration based on what they already saw on me. Most people need that information to inform them how to act, down to how a person should even express themselves…we so often need a reference.

Trendsetter

I’ll end with two thoughts:

One is that, now understanding this, and comprehending how much all of our actions are giving information to the people around us on how they are allowed to act, and express, and communicate….it has taught me to see actions, my words, hell my life, with so much more value. Whether we see it or not, everything we do influences the people around us ranging from the most minuscule of ways, to the most grandiose. And no matter how small of an effect we feel like our existence has, (and I definitely go through periods of melancholiness when I struggle to see the impact any one small human can have on anything) we undoubtedly have a ripple effect on the greater actions of our species. And the worst place you can be in is truly being unaware of that…and non-privy to the idea that your speech holds no weight. I wanted to use these words today to tell you that it does. It 100% does. Even if you are only heard by one, or if you’re heard by thousands…you are a trendsetter. You are both a pattern seeker and a pattern creator. And we should all be remembering that everyday when we wake up and choose to act on the day-to-day moments we endure.

And the second thought is….why? Why are we seekers of the trend? Why do the majority of us need the pattern to teach us how to be? And what makes the anomaly? Because I know plenty of people that do not fit into this description. Yes in terms of basic instincts and actions they learn from patterns but a lot of their existence is also dedicated to ignoring the patterns, and seeing the paths that have already been formed as a pathway to identities that have already previously existed as opposed to the pathway of their own self. Those people who don’t need to see defiant speech or behavior to paint defiance. Those who don’t need to see the presence of love to be unconditionally loving.

Maybe there is a way to be both.

Maybe it’s equally as important to recognize and understand the patterns of those around you, and learn to be united in community and as a species when it comes to paving the way for correct patterns of behavior when it comes to spreading love, showing empathy, and taking time for understanding as opposed to outcasting. And all the while, simultaneously leaving room for you to create your own path outside of the trends. Outside of the patterns. Paving your own way for others to see and join your path.

In the end, one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned from doing these “Paint What You Feel” demonstrations…is to see equal value in forging my own path, as well as just being a part of the river we’re all on as a people. (wow I sound like a hippy) Learning to put equal focus into being my own individual, while also understanding the beauty of being part of the patterns of my greater community. I want to be someone who can feel the same love as all of those around me, and share a connection in that feeling….and at the same time, not be afraid to express it when I sense that nobody else is.

There’s beauty in being a part of what’s there…and there’s power in creating it when it’s not.

For now though, I just wanted to post another unreleased song from my voice memo folder, this one in a recently finished effort titled “Materials”.

I’ve had the riff of this song for at least the past year, maybe a year and a half. And to me anyway, there is something very special about this guitar part. It’s incredibly haunting and a bit dystopian feeling, but also has an urgency that’s a bit curious. I really try to make sure I’m aware of the line of excess self-indulgence but in order to explain the process of putting this song together, I do have to state that I really felt like I had something special with this guitar.

So because of that, I really didn’t want to rush the process. I think when lightning strikes, it’s imperative that you act quickly to catch that energy, but I was so entranced by the fact that I somehow wrote this part that I couldn’t really get any words out in that initial moment…so instead of force something out I just tucked it away and promised that I’d keep revisiting it to see what inspiration may spark.

Well about 7 or 8 months passed before that inspiration became clear. I think I was listening to a lot of The Police for some reason, and I rediscovered their song “Spirits in the Material World”, which is a song a really love for various reasons. But shortly after rediscovering it, the word “materials” became lodged in my brain for some reason.

From there, I started thinking about all of the ways materials, and the possession of “things”, drives all of the madness of the world. Insecurities of status, the constant ads we always see at all times for everything, and the idea that our attention is really the item being sold to companies in order to feed us the ads that best fit our interests. It’s all just a horrible system, and sparked the thought in me that we’re slowly becoming the very materials that we obsess over.

The dystopian nature of that thought felt very aligned with this guitar part and the next time I revisited it, the word “materials” fit right into place. From there, I had a theme, and I just had to build the rest of the world around it.

Fast forward another 4 months, and I’m losing my mind over this song.

I found it really challenging to not make it overly obvious and a bit cheesy and dully political…but also not taking it too far metaphorically where it loses some of the desired impact of making sure the listener is thinking about the thing I want them to think about.

Anyway, I recently took 4 days and just forced myself to churn it out. I needed three verses but I wrote about 6, and then just chose the best pieces from each one, tweaked a few things that then ordered them in a way that felt like the stakes were getting higher and higher as the song progresses, as does the self-awareness of the narrator.

I’m quite a fan of this one and I’m excited to get to working on it in a more official capacity soon. Hope you enjoy it as well and as always thank you for being here!

(lyrics below for everyone, and the voice memo below that for paid subscribers)

So obsessive and quite possessive these days
Influencing a detriment to your space

And I laugh it off
knowing that it doesn't mean a thing
But the spell is soft
and to every word of it I cling
Materials

Lightless fingers right through the wringer they go
Never batted a mind that's tatted in gold

And I hide my eyes
fearing that I'd fail to bare the truth
But I'll never cry
As long as it is mine, what came from you
Materials

Crossing lines and pretending we couldn't tell
Who'd deny you are really what is for sale

And I lock the door
tempted by the comfort that you bring
Cause I know it's wrong
but we're all slowly becoming
Materials

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“Light Upon the Lake” - Whitney

I had never heard of the band Whitney before a few days ago, but they apparently recently released a 10-year anniversary version of their of their debut album Light Upon the Lake as determined by the Spotify algorithm that fed it to me just a few days ago. I was in the mood that particular day to discover something new so I just put on the album around the house and instantly felt a connection to it. It really feels like they built a world and I was amazed I had never listened to them before seeing as how spot on they were in my predominant genre of interest.

Regardless, there were several songs I enjoyed by I decided to spotlight the title track off of the album for a few reasons.

“Will life get ahead of me?” is the only line of the chorus, a long and patiently drawn out exclamation. And what’s interesting about this song is that despite the simplicity of the chorus, the verses are also rather sparse and drawn out. I would maybe expect the verses to juxtapose the simplicity of the chorus but the entire song just feels like it’s moving at it’s own pace…which feels like what the narrator is talking about in the lyrics.

And it’s a discussion I feel I often have with myself. The battle between wanting to move at my own pace and life at my own desired tempo, but also not wanting to fall behind in the world, especially a world that demands everyone move faster and faster. And I suppose everyone who grows up has difficulty keeping up with the speed of change, but I think my generation is the first to have grown up with the internet…though it wasn’t as all-encompassing in our lives then as it is now, we grew up in a time where adaptability and change were even more of a necessity than they ever were before, and because of that I feel a need to maintain those traits that were engrained in my at a young age.

All of that said, everything in life feels like it operates as a pendulum. We get a lot of one thing, it gets too big, and then there is an equal and opposite reaction that pushes culture into a new phase, and then the cycle repeats itself. This is how trends move, ideas shift, leaders grow and fall, movements form, etc…and I feel this same shift in myself when I think about tempo, and the speed of life. Growing up in a time where the growth of technology and the rapid fire changes that we grew accustomed to have started to grow sour on my mind and body. And there has been more and more of a yearning to just shut everything off, tune everyone out, and only focus on moving the ways I want to move. I generally do this anyway but there is still opportunity to take it further.

So hearing this song reflect on the changes in the life of the narrator, the people they’ve said goodbye to, the light of each day fading in and out and the weather in constant transition…there’s a patience that feels like it yearns to exist, but an anxiety that is tied to it. Will life get ahead of me? This song made me think about it.

“A Horse With No Name” - America

I’m about to take a trip to southern Utah and spend some days in Zion national park and Bryce Canyon national park. It’s an area of the country I’ve never been in and I am intensely excited. That’s pretty much the only reason I’m including this song. I’ll be spending all week wondering around the desert thinking about my life and this song might as well be the soundtrack.

I drove to Arizona once almost a decade ago during a solo travel, and at one point got out of my car on a random stretch of road in New Mexico, and was astounded at the silence. I know where I’m going isn’t exactly the same, but I’m hoping that the clarity of the night sky, and the calmness of the terrain speaks to me in some way. If it does, I’ll report back….unless what it speaks to me is to shut up and not post on here anymore in which case you will never hear from me again.

That’s it for this week, thank you for being here and I’ll be back to share more soon!

-Aaron

My early experiences with touring brought me equal parts elation and self-impairment. I was more wrapped up in the former part of that equation at the time, but it wasn’t until later that I became more aware of the impairments that came with those decisions. Despite that awareness, I definitely don’t regret any decisions I made earlier on in my career particularly as it relates to traveling and playing shows. In fact I may have been doing exactly what I needed to be doing, as going into March of 2020 I was working on booking a brief tour, albeit what probably would’ve ended up being my most lucrative tour up until that point. But alas, March of 2020 ended up going how it went and all of that got quite a bit derailed, and ever since, I never have really gotten back to touring the way I used to.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my early touring life lately because a few months ago, I was on a podcast hosted by Music Export Memphis, a non-profit who regularly hands out grants to artists in the area, more times than not in the form of financial support for touring. They are truly amazing people, and I was invited to be on a podcast of theirs where their goal is to demystify touring, and bring people on who have some experience with booking shows and being on the road, and have them offer advice on what an artist who is just getting into that world should do.

The grind

When I was touring most heavily, I was striving to go on one weekend trip every month. My strategy was typically to alternate directions; I’d do 2-3 shows going east one month, the next month I’d do 2-3 shows going north, and the next month I’d go west, and then repeat the process. A run of only 2-3 shows doesn’t sound like much but it was a full-time job to book each of these excursions.

It was interesting being on this podcast though because truthfully, I haven’t toured regularly in a few years now. Last year I had a few dates on the road, the year before that was the same…but my extended runs on the road have been very few and far between as of late. So I was giving all of these answers to various questions and offering what I felt like was insight into different strategies and things to consider…until the question was asked to me: “What does touring look like for you long term?”

I felt awful answering this question truthfully, expressing that all of the factors that come with touring were no longer the things I romanticized, and while performing is something I still love, there is a lot of re-defining going on in my life at the moment.

But what felt the most awful was the idea that essentially what I felt like I was saying, was that there is this really important thing that is making me uncomfortable now, and because of that, I’m choosing not to do it anymore.

This isn’t a mindset I actually believe in, but as I was expressing that thought, and beginning to add nuance to the statement, the moderator, Elizabeth Cawein, stepped in and confirmed that there is actually a difference between an inconvenience and something that is eating away at you…and I cannot tell you how much I appreciated her demonstrating that understanding.

No patience for nuance

There are too many people who, upon hearing somebody say “I don’t really like touring so I’m choosing not to do it”, would immediately jump to “Oh well you just don’t understand that you have to be uncomfortable in order to reach success”. What this lacks is an understanding of who I am, the interactions and experiences I’ve had that developed the thoughts I now hold, the level of self-awareness I have, and also what “success” even means to me. That statement instead comes from somebody who is only thinking about themselves, or the collective identity of the people they are around and the people they listen to.

Now I understand it’s not fair to say that before you judge anyone, you should read a Substack article that fully explains their thoughts on the matter, because in actuality the world moves too fast and decisions and judgements sometimes need to be made too quickly to make time for that, and I understand that. But why does everything these days seem to be a matter of black and white? You’re on one side or the other, if you believe in this, then you’re probably also x y and z.

I’ve been seeing more and more examples of this lack of patience lately, or at the very least, the encouragement to categorize, and to simplify complex scenarios. I saw a snippet of a conversation recently where someone was being pretty harshly questioned on how to maintain free speech while also censoring certain kinds of speech that are “damaging”, and was asking this question in a way that demanded a clear and easy response…which is absurd with how nuanced of a conversation that is.

Just because a belief is clear and obvious to you does not mean it’s clear and obvious to someone else, or better yet, it may be clear to them but they may choose to want something different simply because of how different their life is from yours. I think there are some people who have great awareness and are able to read between the lines in the actions of an individual, and be able to deduct certain qualities about them based on little information…but not everybody can do that successfully. Yet, more and more it feels like everyone thinks they can. Our lack of patience with trying to understand each other more deeply and take time to hear the details of another’s point of view is crushing our ability to connect with each other more and more each day.

Aside from the damage it’s causing our interactions with each other, we’re also damaging ourselves through not taking the time to understand the nuance of our actions. Take the touring scenario for instance. There are many that would see that uncomfortability and think to themselves “well to be a “successful” artist, you just have to grind, and you have to face discomfort, so I’m just going to keep going”. Meanwhile, you may be confusing uncomfortability with something that is literally eating away at your spirit. Something that is crushing you and preventing you from showing up in the ways you need to in other areas of your life and career, simply because you didn’t have the awareness to understand that “uncomfortability” comes in many shapes and sizes, some of which are tolerable and some of which are not.

Quick. Quick. Quick. Everything needs to be fast now. Not just our entertainment but the amount of time we have to explain ourselves to another is incredibly limited before they just start tuning out. Not everybody, I know there are plenty reading this that perhaps have a bit more patience and side with nuance when most others side with simplicity, but it feels hard to deny that our ease of access to information has led to dissipated patience, which has led to a lack of understanding in each other, which has led to more and more division and hatred, coming from all angles.

So what do we do?

Truthfully, I’m not sure I know what the solution is. But I know a few things that have helped me find patience and side with nuance over simplicity. Here are a few things I do to help in this fight:

1. Long walks without my phone: Put down your device from time to time. Stop the speed and the flood of thoughts. It’s this flood that encourages you to simplify everything because there’s no time to actually digest it all thoroughly. Allow less things to be flooded to your brain, and you’ll naturally open up more space to process the information that does come your way more thoroughly

2. Long-form media: If you must take in information because you’re a junkie, then try practicing taking in more long-form content. Don’t scroll, actually read an entire blog entry. Don’t skip over the long captions on photos. Don’t listen on shuffle, put on an entire album. Get off of tiktok and watch a movie. Give something the chance to give you layers to information instead of just a brief glance at a huge thought

3. Engage with people who aren’t like you: If you’re surrounded by people who just think and live the same way you do, then you’re putting yourself in an echo-chamber of your own beliefs. In this scenario, it’s no wonder there is a lack of patience for the nuance of ideas that don’t align with you, because to you, the entire world believes in the same things you believe in. Make sure “your whole world” isn’t just filled with people like you. Mess up your algorithm, dive down rabbit holes you wouldn’t normally go down, interact with real life communities that may bring you those small doses of uncomfortability for the sake of learning more about the people around you. Be intentional about broadening your horizons to the humans you live around

I don’t know where we go from here, I just fear for a world that lacks the patience for nuance. A world that thinks it knows everything about everybody based on one fact, one sliver of information. I hope more of us can strive to not shorten our conversations with others and with ourselves, to promote awareness, and give chances to those we don’t fully understand.

The journey of the meaning of this song is fairly interesting to me. In the earlier years of me writing, I really wouldn’t think at all about the meaning of the words, and I’d just let whatever felt right come out, not thinking of story or whether anything was linear, just words that felt right rolling off the tongue and let it be poetry. Then, once everything was on paper I could usually decipher a meaning…not in a pretentious way but I could genuinely read the words and connect it to something that has been on my mind or heart. I just allowed the process to be very subconscious.

These days, I’m trying to practice more the art of knowing what the fuck I’m talking about. I don’t think there is anything wrong with just letting words flow, and that’s something I very much still do and something I think is an important part of songwriting. (you don’t want to method-yourself-to-death and be too overly structured to where it stifles your creativity) So at the very least, after I come up with chords that feel right, I’ll try to establish some sort of message or mission for the song that then guides the words.

For this one, I very much reverted to my old ways. Within moments of finding the chords, the melody and the words “chasing butterflies” was immediately tied to it. I tried to find meaning and let those just be placeholder words but for whatever reason, they just couldn’t remove themselves from what I was playing. So I gave in and let them stay, and continued to write.

By the end of the second verse, I began to believe that this song was about me. I sometimes wonder how it would feel to actually reach “success”, and live a life where you got everything you wanted. I fear we all actually find our meaning in the chase, and not ever getting to the destination we want is actually a key part in us remaining fulfilled. Maybe if we actually got what we wanted, we’d really end up feeling more empty. I’ve been thinking about that off and on for awhile now and it felt like that was the direction that song was heading in.

Then it took a turn.

By the end of the bridge and last verse…it began to take on a new meaning in my eyes. Now I believe this song to be about the very wealthy class of humans (Americans specifically I suppose) who, despite their already existing excess riches, continue to mine the world for it’s beauty, and pry into the delicate parts of peoples minds and spirits to further grow upon their wealth…and the endless emotional pit I believe these pursuits to leave in those people. Billionaires who have access to everything and anything they could ever want, yet still feel the need to take advantage of the poor to grow their wealth. Whether it be through polluting under-privileged communities, providing affordable albeit unhealthy food, or fueling algorithms that hook us to brain rot. And for what? More wealth and status?

Anyway…that’s what I think this song is about. Quite a journey and not the typical route a song would take for me but I enjoyed the adventure!

This is a really rough voice memo but it’s supposed to rough right? I don’t share these because I’m interested in perfection. It’s just part of the journey, which is allowed to be ugly.

Lyrics below for everybody and the voice memo is for paid subscribers. Thank you for being here!

Chasing butterflies all over town
Not a care in the world
chasing butterflies
chasing butterflies all
over town

Finally caught it in the palm of my hand
I don't know what to do
finally caught it in
finally caught it in the palm
of my hand

Waited my entire life
just to feel the pain
feel the pain

Of not knowing what to do with the world
now I got what I need
of not knowing what
of not knowing what to do
with the world

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“Somebody That I Used To Know” - Gotye

This song came on in the car on shuffle a few days ago and I had a fairly lengthy conversation with my partner about how cool Gotye is, and how ideal his artistic accomplishment was. I’m not sure if he see’s it as ideal or not but he came from relative obscurity, burst into mega-stardom with this insane hit, toured and played some amazing shows as he became one of the biggest names in music in 2007, and then just backed out of everything and faded back into obscurity mostly never to be heard from again.

My idea of success has shifted a lot over the past several years, which I think is a normal occurrence as you grow. There was definitely a phase where I wanted to be a touring artist…traveling the world playing shows, selling records, doing interviews, being on all of the talk shows, etc…and I’m maybe if that option presented itself it’d become appealing to me in an unexpected way. But as I’m now in my early 30’s, I can honestly say that losing any sort of anonymity is just not something that is appealing to me at all. The idea of not being able to go out to eat, or go for a walk in a public space, or do anything socially without being recognized or stopped for unwarranted conversation feels like a nightmare. And furthermore, to lose all of that at the hands of running around the world seeing mostly the walls of a tour bus also does not feel like an attractive existence.

However, getting to have that one off experience of being a huge star in the world of music for a temporary moment in time seems rather cool. And that’s essentially what Gotye did. He popped up with, not just your average pop song that grows a bit generic with time…but instead this insanely unique production that almost two decades later still hits the same, and is even being sampled by one of the worlds biggest current artists in Doechii.

But who has heard of Gotye in the past decade? Outside of his direct circle, barely a soul. He had his moment, left his artistic mark, and then decided that the rest wasn’t for him and walked away. That path, and that choice, and the idea of that experience has been on my mind quite a bit since this song popped in my car the other day.

You always have a choice. No matter what phase of life you’re in, what holding pattern you think you’re bound to, no matter what the circumstances, you have a choice of what to do next. You can create change for yourself, start on a new path, and do something different if you think it may bring you a greater sense of fulfillment. These choices aren’t always easy, but they are there for you to make at all times. And hearing stories of those who were brave enough to take a jump into an entirely new direction, especially after experiencing a great deal of success, is quite inspiring to me.

And on top of that, this is just an amazing song.

“Where’d All The Time Go” - Dr. Dog

My mom is in the process of selling her home, the house she’s been in for the past 30 years. Also incidentally it’s the home that I grew up in and spent the majority of my childhood.

There’s no debate that this is the right time for the move to happen but it still doesn’t change the fact that losing this grand of an artifact that ties you to a younger version of you will of course encourage reflection. And this moment in time certainly has.

There have been plenty of moments in the past several months in discussion about past memories or moments and I’m reaching a phase of life for the first time that as I reflect on past occurrences in my life, it’s starting to almost feel like it wasn’t the same person. Like, I can look back and realize that an event took place, but in my memory it’s as if I’m observing someone who looks like me and acts like me, but I can’t place myself in the exact shoes of that person and completely recall being there, and how I felt being there. Maybe I can remember the feelings but it’s sometimes hard to actually feel them, to actually experience them again. I’m starting to feel far enough a way from my identity in those moments to identify a strange detachment to them.

I think this comes at the hands of time, but also physical and emotional separation. I’m been in Memphis for over a decade now and there are just less and less strings that keep me tied to the physical location of where I grew up. I always feel it when I come back to visit family, but outside of those moments it takes some extreme concentration to still feel close to who I was growing up in that area.

And then there are the emotional experiences that pile on as you life that start to cover up the memorable moments from early on. COVID itself feels like it took over 5 years of memory from me, and as you continue to travel through life and lose more and more ties with the people you were surrounded by earlier on, the less you come back to those mental and emotional spaces that used to occupy the majority of your being.

Anyway…I’ve made a lot of effort to stay attached to my inner child and losing the home he grew up in has forced me to think of other ways to retain that connection, and not let moments slip just because of losing the attachment to a physical location.

And on top of all of that, again, this is just a really good song.

Those are the only two for this week. If you haven’t already, please check out my new single “Navel Tree” on all streaming platforms, and I’ll be back again soon with some more thoughts. Thank you for being here.

-Aaron

In short, it’s very much a song about how the world can turn you into something that you don’t want to be, and depending on the circumstances of your community, or the virtual community you choose and/or are forced to inhabit, traits and qualities can be brought out in you that maybe previously wouldn’t have been used to define who you are.

This song is somewhat autobiographical, as I definitely become aware in moments where I’m saying something, or am sounding like someone who I don’t want to sound like. But I’ve also been noticing changes in a lot of my peers as well. These aren’t necessarily exclusively changes for the better or for the worse…just changes. We all shift as the world demands different things from us. We’re no longer just picking berries and avoiding lions. We’re becoming more bitter as we’re encouraged to be more divided, we’re adapting trends as a product of group think just for the sake of fitting in, we’re (d)evolving to be more and more sedated and numb to everything we see and hear…and it seems there is no end in sight.

To be present, and self-aware, and empathetic, all seem like challenges today, and it often seems like the world isn’t encouraging us to be any of those things, and it’s pretty frustrating to witness. But if I can use songs as some method to bring more attention to these conversations, and help remind someone of how far from their center they’ve gotten, then I’ll feel like I’m doing something useful.

That’s the goal with “It’s Just The Way It Is”…and I hope you enjoy it! Lyrics below for everyone and the voice memo can be heard by paid subscribers. Thank you all for being here and I’ll be back to share more soon!

-Aaron

You're getting colder ever single day
You're saying things that you didn't use to say
Is the world just changing or is it you?
I see it all in the things you choose to do

I guess it's just the way it is now

Was it always a pleasure wasting time?
And to never like what's on your mind?
Is the world just changing or is it you?
Do you see how much there's still to lose?

I guess it's just the way it is now

I guess it's just the way it is
I guess it's just the way it is now

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“Cannock Chase” - Labi Siffre

I discovered this song by Labi Siffre just a few weeks ago while setting up for a listening party for a friend of mines new single. I’m familiar with Labi just from passive listening…various songs of his coming up on shuffle playlists or social media videos. But in this instance, then the song came on, my friend immediately proclaimed “I feel like this song has been haunting me the past few days!”, as if this was the 100th time the song had appeared in her life recently without intention.

With that proclamation in mind, I listened a bit more intently as I continued setting things up. Perhaps if nobody told me it was a haunting song to them, I wouldn’t think it was…but every time I listen to it now there is a mystique that is both beautiful and tense at times. And the journey of the song is strong, starting with sitting in the backseat of a car with a guitar, and gradually growing to a more anxious and/or aggressive tone of voice, delivering lines a bit more desperately, and almost giving a sense of yearning for a way out.

This series is by no means intended to try and decipher the actual meanings of these songs, this is purely just to articulate how they’ve been making me feel, specifically, while listening to them.

I feel like lately I’ve been trying to escape a past version of myself, and that feeling of escape is something I feel like I’m traveling along with while I listen to this song. It maybe wasn’t something I was so aware of years ago but the more time goes on, the more imperative it seems to be becoming that I can confidently grow into the next version of who I am. And any moment that I encounter something that I fear is stalling that growth, or pulling me back in a direction I no longer want to go in, there’s a desperate feeling that starts to come over me, and that’s something I feel like I’ve been a little lost in lately.

This song lives in a similar world to “A Horse With No Name” for me…both enchanting but also a bit bewildering. I don’t enjoy the emotion it’s been invoking but I’m responsive to and in awe by the rawness of the feeling it captured.

“Summer Clouds” - Iron & Wine

By the end, we hold something too high to ever come back down
By the end, there's a song we will sing meant for someone else
By the end, we leave somewhere too long to ever wander back
By the end, we give someone too much to ever close their hand

I don’t even know what else to say…

When I’m sitting at home, or I’m with friends, or I’m relatively stationary doing anything, I’m pretty much just thinking about what I’m doing. I’m not sure if anyone else an relate but I find that I get the most emotional when I’m in the car, particularly by myself. It’s not until I’m going somewhere that I start to think about where I’m going.

And when you think about where you’re going, it’s impossible not to think about all of the places you’ve been, the parts of you you’ve left behind, and also the gratitude for having anything left at all.

Iron & Wine tends to do an incredible job with his poetry in bringing forward all of those emotions…both the magical ones and the melancholy ones. I can’t help but feel like the next 3-4 years of my life hold a lot of weight in the direction of the next 30 years after those, and I know every year holds weight and every moment is just another moment in your journey, but mine feels like it’s hitting a pretty special moment, for better or for worse, and there are a lot of nerves that come with that. A lot of uncertainties. But also a lot of appreciation that I’ve had the freedom to even make decisions, given even just the chance to be bold, and the opportunity to try at something, which is a gift that most in the world don’t even have.

I think about all of those things while listening to “Summer Clouds”, and I hope maybe it can make you more aware of the journey you’re on as well.

Just those two songs for this week, maybe next time there will be more, potentially less, who knows. Really appreciate anybody who has made it this far and hope we can chat soon!

-Aaron

I started writing “Silence” in the fall or early winter of 2025 during a project I was working on with my partner Emilia. We were working on a small collaboration for one of her choreographic projects, for which I was going to perform a live score. It was a short 7-minute work for a local arts organization, and an early concept we had in mind was playing with the idea of silence.

The thought was how silence is something oftentimes we identify as something we want to achieve in a busy world, and how you could associate silence with feelings of peace, calm and tranquility. But the idea was to highlight the uncomfortabilites that can come with silence, and how for many people, particularly those who are happy succumbing to the algorithm and the content army, silence is something they tend to run away from.

This led me to think of all of the ways silence can often be hurtful in todays world. How words with no meaning can be a version of silence, “thoughts and prayers” in the wake of senseless tragedy in place of any action can also be taken as silence, and the inundation of everyones mind and attention with mostly useless material I also feel is a form of silence.

So I began to write this song as a way to highlight all of those things. I also thought the expected thing for a calm songwriter to do would be to promote silence and peace, so I enjoyed the idea of writing a song that did the opposite of that.

I got most of the way done with the song when we realized that this performance was going to be taken place in a noisy room in the middle of a gala, so trying to play with silent moments probably wasn’t going to be the smartest idea. So we abandoned ship and she took everything in an entirely new direction that also ended up being incredible.

But I kept this song on the back-burner because I enjoyed the lyrics and the theme. The only thing I needed was a bridge, and I was stuck on it for quite awhile. Only recently did I allow myself to be driven crazy enough by how long it was taking for it to come to me that I just sat down and forced it out, and I think I’m fairly happy with what I’ve got…but that is definitely subject to change!

I was also inspired by an artist named Samia and a song of hers called “Hole in a Frame” where she messes a bit with rhythm and groove changes. I typically never do that sort of thing in my writing but I saw this as an opportunity to expand my horizons for some reason. You’ll hear a switch in my strumming after each verse and I intend on some sort of melody to go there but I haven’t figured it out yet. (it’s just a voice memo!)

Anyway, hope you enjoy it and thank you as always for being here! Lyrics below for everyone, voice memo for paid subscribers.

I don't like the sound of silence
Praying hands and unheard songs
Memories rendered muted in a TV mind
So much wasted time
Life is fading

I don't like the sound of silence
Silence in the words you speak
White noise in your voice when the meanings gone
Is that what you want?
Life is fading

There is a voice that's screaming out
But nobodies listening
Make your escape in a silent crowd
Life is fading
Life is fading out

I don't like the sound of silence

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I hate all of these things. But even if you somehow combined all of these atrocities into one incredibly unfortunate event or individual…it would still pale in comparison to my utter disgust and hatred towards mashed potatoes.

They are pointless, disrespectful, and downright atrocious in overall taste and presentation. I have outlined the details of my opinion and my reasons below, and I hope upon reading this dissertation, you too will question how you’ve let this appalling display of “food” continue on for this many generations:

1. Structure-less

I am by no means opposed to spontaneity, but simultaneously I’m also fully aware that I have a bit of an infatuation with structure. I do somewhat regularly attempt to occasionally throw away parts of my schedule and plans to make room for the unexpected, as I think an essential part to our emotional fullness and sense of humanhood, is the ability to make our own decisions free from any preconceived analyzing or over thinking. All of that being said, I still love structure.

I make myself a schedule for everyday of the week at the start of every week, and I have lists of to-do’s to be accomplished everyday from essential career related reminders to simple mundane tasks, and I plan my dinners out for the week and I have routines for my routines and I’m just a huge nerd when it comes to organization. (and everything else) I love a carefully constructed cheeseburger that is delicately layered with toppings in a way to where they remain in their intended structure after each bite. Not those burgers where you take one chomp and then your burger shits out all of its lettuce and onion onto your plate from the other side of your bun just to land right on top of your french fries and into the small puddle of ketchup you poured out for yourself, thus generating a splash of said delicious red condiment that makes you regret any moment in life that was had without pre-planning.

I love layered artistic experiences that are clearly littered with thought, intention and illusion. I love itineraried vacations where you leave your destination feeling like you experienced exactly everything that you wanted to, and even your moments of wasting time were calculated. These are admittedly not all attractive qualities I’m fully aware of this I’m just telling you about myself.

I hate mashed potatoes. They have no form, no structure, and no thought or consideration for itself or for its consumer. And better yet, most people who enjoy this structure-less side dish also enjoy this mushy clod with a topping of mud aka gravy. It’s impossible to carefully craft because there is nothing to craft in the first place. In fact you’re not crafting, you’re de-crafting a perfectly decent vegetable into nothingness. (see bullet point 3) What are we doing? How did it come to be that we enjoy this garbage? How did it come to be……that we……would enjoy…this garbage?

2. Solubility

I 100% understand and believe the reason we are able to feel anything special or profound, whether it be intense feelings of joy, heartbreak, nostalgia, sadness or feelings of elation…is because of the understanding that we don’t last forever. If we were truly immortal, and this all didn’t have some sort of understood ending, (not that the specifics of the ending are understood, it’s just understood that there is an “end” of some kind to our lives as we know them) then how would we feel anything? What would be the point of anything? Nothing would matter because everything would be always. It’s our temporary nature that allows us to experience, and feel and find meaning in each event of our lives.

That said, the whole point of food is the discovery of a flavor that you want to savor. There are plenty of foods out there that are quick bites that are small (but mighty) and have you wanting to come back for more because of how short-lived the enjoyment is. This is perfectly fine when the food in question is some sort of novelty, or has a nutritional value that encourages more consumption.

Potatoes are not a novelty, they are potatoes. And while they are not terrible for you, they also aren’t the best vegetable in terms of nutritional value. Yet, when presented in a mashed variety, they dissolve in your mouth so quickly and have the most disgusting texture to them imaginable. The only (hmm…maybe the only) food that can pull off the mashed vibe is apples. And once again, even though they dissolve and have an…interesting texture…at least they are apples and they’re good for you and you can add cinnamon and mmm tasty. Mashed potatoes just suck.

This is a small point but still an important one. Texture is everything. Solubility is important when it comes to my food choices. And in this department, mashed potatoes intensely fail.

3. Ruining a good thing

Wanna know what doesn’t suck? Potatoes. That’s right, wrap your brain around that one. I don’t dislike potatoes one bit. I enjoy dicing up a good ol’ russet, tossing it in some olive oil, salt and pepper and some tajin, dumping the portions into my air fryer at 400 degrees for about 11 minutes and suddenly I have one of my favorite little side dishes. I also am at least capable of enjoying a good baked potato, and on top of that, I also really like sweet potatoes. (I am ready to do combat. Fight me)

With the exception of potatoes in their “sweet” form, because they do not fit the description I’m about to lay out, there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking a potato, or any vegetable or fruit, and respectfully altering it to your desired taste and experience. The key word in that sentence is respectfully. Sweet potatoes may also be a deviation from the intended nature of the vegetable, but it is clearly done with passion, creativity, and care for the end result.

The same cannot be said about mashed potatoes. I mean Jesus, look at the name of the damn thing. MASHED potatoes. Does mashed broccoli sound as good as broccoli florets? Does mashed banana sound as good as just “banana”? (unless the mashed bananas were going into a pie or a muffin mix, those are clearly exceptions) What about mashed kale? Mashed mint? Mashed apple? (again with the pie exception) The answer to all of these scenarios is no, mashing a perfectly good fruit or vegetable does not enhance its taste and/or overall value. It is disrespectful. God granted us this veggie for our indulgence and look what we’ve done. We do the same thing that humans do with the rest of God’s creations. We encourage the extinction of species, we encourage catastrophic weather-based events with our lack of care for the environment, we allow the complexity of our gene makeup to be numbed down by over-information and excess stimulation...and we destroy perfectly good vegetables, tricking ourselves into thinking we’re doing good. When in fact, mashing a potato just might be the work of the devil.

There are a lot of things going on in the world right now, and I understand if this issue feels like it has no purpose or direction, or no need for a resolution. And maybe you’re right. Maybe this is just one big overreaction that will not lead to any further events of a cataclysmic nature. But if the day ever comes when the premiere way to prepare and indulge our food, vitamins and minerals, supplements and sugary treats of all kinds….is to mash…..then just know that I tried. I tried my damn best. And I will never end this fight against the tyranny of disrespect towards the potato. I’ve drawn my line in the patch. You know where I stand.

I hate mashed potatoes.

*real life rendering of mashed potatoes in their true form

“Good Times Are Comin’” - Joshua Burnside

I first discovered Joshua Burnside’s music back when I was in college. His song “Blood Drive” was on heavy rotation for me then (and still is) though I can’t quite remember how I even discovered the extremely indie Irish folk singer-songwriter. Either way, I’ve been loosely following his career ever since and listen to many of his new releases when they arrive. I missed his most recent album but Spotify reminded me to listen to it recently, so I’ve had it on during my recent drives.

(Several songs stood out to me, but I’ll make a quick note to establish that “Moon High” is actually my favorite song….I couldn’t think of how to incorporate it into the vision for this particular article, so I’m not highlighting it…but you should definitely listen to it.)

The album in general seems to be traveling through the hopeless and helpless feeling that is existing in the world today. Trying to make a life and career for yourself while adjusting, acting and reacting to all of the turbulence of the world, and feeling like you have to play the games you don’t want to in order to even have a chance of making it out alive.

Relatable.

But this song, “Good Times Are Comin’”, achieves all of this and includes a sense of humor, which hit home with me even more. I sometimes feel like the “bad” can be so overwhelming, that it almost becomes white noise, and rather than listen to everything I find myself just sort of drifting through my day, wearing a default-setting positive face because the virus is simply too big for the hard drive of my consciousness to fully download. I feel like lately I’ve reached a place where, with intention, I almost have just stopped listening to it, and I’m eager to keep and express a more positive perspective with the people around me. I’ve been finding great joy in adding even just small moments of positivity to those in my proximity, particularly on the days where it feels like it should be impossible to.

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This is a very recent write, called “Back To Your Heart”. I haven’t written many heartbreak songs lately, but I’ve been having regular recording sessions with a team of people I don’t normally have sessions with, and there has been a challenge lately of writing from perspectives I wouldn’t normally think to write from. It’s created some good songs in those sessions but those challenges have made their way to my couch as well, and my solo writing sessions during the morning hours in Memphis.

I had this guitar part that I thought sounded sentimental and melancholic, and there was a melody that rather quickly became attached to it. It felt like it needed to be a song about romantic longing, but I really didn’t want to stop the perspective there. So I brainstormed how I could add some sort of twist to it, without it feeling like I was trying really hard to add a twist to it.

So what I went with was creating a story about longing for someone that you’re fully aware you shouldn’t be longing for…but not only that you shouldn’t be longing for them, but you’re aware of how untrue the desire even is. Being truthfully aware of how (kinda) pathetic it is to be thinking about this person, and being truthfully aware that you really don’t need this person anymore, but remembering what it was like to feel like you did.

So it’s not really a song about longing, it’s just that the mood of it is longing, but what’s actually being talked about is just a remembrance of the feeling of hopelessness that lead you to this person to begin with.

Anyway, not sure if it comes across or not but I like it at the moment. I think there are some small changes I could make as I listen back to the demo, but it’s a good starting point and I enjoy the lyrics. Perhaps one day it’ll be recorded and live a life of its own!

Thank you so much as always for being here. Lyrics below for everyone and voice memo for paid subscribers. Hope you enjoy “Back To Your Heart”

Memories that should not hold
I still use them
Reminiscing in the cold
By my choosing
Every season, whether shine
Or rain
Every season I still find
My way

Back to your heart
Back to your heart
Back to your heart
Back to your heart

There were galaxies at home
On your shoulder
What a fallacy I on-
ly could hold them
If I'm falling through the crease
You showed
And I'm crawling on my knees
Alone

Back to your heart
Back to your heart
Back to your heart
Back to your heart

Levitating, or sedated
By a ruse that raids my mind
How romantic, or pathetic
I confuse them every time
That I'm...

Back to your heart
Back to your heart
Back to your heart
Back to your heart

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*** EDIT 5/19/26:

Okay back a few months ago when I initially published this short article and voice memo, this song was unreleased and I didn’t want to share as much about it, but now that it’s actually officially released into the world…what the hell I’ll share some more details.

My partners grandparents had been married for 60+ years, and this past winter her grandfather passed away in his mid-80’s. A very great human being who left a great impression on me the few times I was able to meet him. His passing is something that my partner and her family are still grieving currently, but what it feels like none of us tend to think about as much in this kind of scenario is the partner that we leave behind.

We grieve the one who passes, but we perhaps aren’t as quick to think about the fact that if you are lucky enough to spend your entire life with someone, and share many many years with each other, the bitter sweet part of your entangled journey is that inevitably, one is going to leave the other behind in the end. And my girlfriend and I have had a lot of conversations on what it must be like for her grandmother to now, after 60+ years of existing with this person by her side, now in her 80’s, has to figure out how to redefine life on her own and rediscover who she is.

It’s been hard to imagine how that must feel like, and how impossible of a task that must be to go through. She’s been doing her best to assist her grandmother through that journey, but that thought has been stuck with me ever since the winter, and without trying or being too overly-concious about it, the thought just popped out in the form of a song while writing on my couch a few months back.

The goal was to write something that was both somber while also paying homage to the romance that they shared, capturing both the feeling of love and also isolation. Her grandparents have an orange tree in their backyard in California, and my first time ever seeing an orange tree in person was when we visited there a few years ago. Thus, the inspiration.

***

This is a short song and the form is rather simple, but this is one of those songs that after I’m done writing it, and now that I’ve listened back to it several times, I keep asking myself “how did I write this?”. I’m really proud of the poetry and the imagery in this one, especially when there are so many mornings that I can barely get out one line that I’m really proud of. This one, especially since it’s so short, feels like every line and each work is very intentional, and there isn’t anything here lyrically that doesn’t have meaning. Regardless of if anyone likes the song or not, achieving that level of intentionality is something I’m very proud of.

I hear a harmony on the vocal throughout this one, and the form/vibe was mostly inspired by “Naked As We Came” by Iron & Wine. If you can’t tell, I currently enjoy this one so if you don’t like it please be polite ha! Thinking of maybe putting this one out in the spring, but we’ll see how I feel about it next week. Hope it brings you 3 minutes of quiet reflections today.

As always thank you so much for listening and for being here. Lyrics for everybody below, voice memo further below for paid subscribers. Thank you all for helping me to keep this going!

What a dream
sharing a navel tree
started as just a seed
branching out from a grave

Winter wind
blows through the open
window to kiss my skin
every sun must fade

Stories that end to soon
Still I will sing goodnight to the moon

What a war
hands held and nothing more
needed to see the score
I lost count of the years

Now it shows
cracks all along the road
roots tearing up the stone
growing without you here

Stories that end too soon
Still I will sing goodnight to the moon

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“Velvet Ring” - Big Thief

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the power of our own individuality. So many of us have lives that are built on the communal habits, gatherings, or responsibilities of a larger group of people. We go to a job where many others occupy the same space, we go to a church with the same or similar people every Sunday, we watch the same big shows that everyone is talking about, we see the same viral posts, and so on and so forth.

We don’t spend an abundance of time just with ourselves. Or, if we do spend time with ourselves, there’s a focus on just calming the noise we’ve encountered from earlier in the day, or we engage in another relaxing activity. So rarely are we just with ourselves in silence, unengaged from anything external.

Being a songwriter provides a bit of a cheat code to ensure I do this often, as a part of my writing process is tied to daily reflections and quiet ponderings…but as I spend more time at a job and find myself in repetitive spaces with repetitive faces more frequently, I feel like I’ve been in a phase of trying to reconnect with my individualism. Practicing the art of reminding myself that everyone is on their own unique journey, and wherever you think you are along yours, you’re probably wrong.

Throughout a lot of these thoughts, this song “Velvet Ring” by Big Thief has been finding its way to me. I’m a big Adrienne Lenker fan, but admittedly I don’t listen to a lot of Big Thief. So I’ve only slowly been discovering more of her writing through her work with that band.

Her voice and writing is always so haunting yet peaceful and magical, consistently expressing an interesting perspective on language and the human experience. But it’s not even the lyrics in this song, but the shifting tempo that makes me feel like more of an individual. It’s not to a grid, it breathes and ebbs and flows just live a living creature, and although the song always reaches the same end destination, my journey through it as a listener seems to deepen and shift every time.

I hope if you listen to it, it can remind you of your own individualism as well.

“Wide Awake” - Audioslave

I long have felt a connection to the lyrics of Chris Cornell, the late singer and frontman of Soundgarden. I’m only just now putting together the connection as I’m writing this, but his words are similarly haunting as Adrienne Lenker’s…and the genre Big Thief fits into sonically feels like it’s a distant cousin of Soundgarden.

Regardless, a friend of mine show this lesser known song to me from Chris’ work with Audioslave, another group that I love, though I had never heard this particular song before…I’ll post the lyrics to the chorus below:

So come pull the sheet over my eyes
So I can sleep tonight 
despite what I've seen today
I've found you guilty of a crime
Of sleeping at a time 
when you should have been wide awake

If this doesn’t define how all of us should be feeling as of late than I don’t know what would! There are too many topics to speak on right now in the world of current events and I don’t want to reduce the feeling I’m speaking of by only focusing on one thing, but as a window seems to open to the lives of others around the country and around the world and an understanding how the actions of those in power is negatively effecting so many people…it’s been bringing a sense of gratitude to me for not having to endure those same atrocities in my everyday life. However, along with that gratitude comes an intense feeling of uneasiness when I think of how many peoples are lives are being changed everyday in the face of war, prejudice, famine, and the like.

And because there are too many things to even keep track of, what feels like is happening to most of us is this feeling of desensitization, we’re so used to seeing one terrible thing after the next, and the speed and velocity at which these things happen is too quick for us to even begin processing the event in the first place…and it’s all of these things combined that I fear is resulting in an intense deprive of empathy. Inching all of us closer and closer every day to a state of depravity.

I’m thankful for the gratitude I’m able to feel in these horribly difficult times for so many, but it’s hard to be comfortable knowing what’s going on around me, and around all of us.

This song to me speaks on that. “Wide Awake” calls everybody out for sleeping at a time when they should be wide awake. It feels like many of us are sleeping right now and to be surrounded by many complicit (whether is be consciously or unconsciously) individuals, can make it even more difficult to process what’s going on and fight internally for hope that things will change.

Thank you all for being here and I’ll be back again soon with more music and/or stories.

-Aaron

I few weeks ago I shared a snippet of a section from the score, so in honor of the shows debut this weekend, I thought I’d share the closing number, and tell the story behind it.

“Under Strange Suns” is centered around the idea of fate, and whether or not fate is created or ordained. Do we create our own future, or is everything already laid out for us and we’re just following in an already paved path? The goal isn’t to answer this question, but rather to understand that everyone has a different idea of what the future is and how it will come to be, and despite our varying beliefs, we all still have to co-exist with each other and manifest a future that works for all of us. The fun part, is that this idea is told through the lense of aliens who have crash landed on a strange new planet and are trying to find their way out…but that detail is less important for this particular article.

Several years back, in the fall of 2018, I previously collaborated with Ballet Memphis. The label I’m a part of, UNAPOLOGETIC., was invited to do a live performance during one of their shows, so several of us performed live as they performed/moved to our songs, and it was quite a beautiful show. The song I played during that show was a new song of mine at that time entitled “Kauri Wood”, a fairly ethereal and dramatic song that was a single off of an EP I had just released at that time.

A few years later, post-COVID, I meet Emilia, a newer artist now with Ballet Memphis, through mutual friends I had made from working with the ballet in 2018. Now in 2026, we’ve been together for 4 years and things are going pretty okay. (they are going great)

Through exploring this question of fate, we also determined that no matter what we believe in our hearts…nobody really knows what fate is, and it’s kind of a made up thing to begin with. Somebody might be “right”, maybe when we die we understand the truth, or maybe we won’t…but regardless, at the moment none of us can factually say that we KNOW. But through this process, I’ve been thinking a lot about how the idea of “fate” has shown up in my own life. There are many things I can think of but it’s hard not to notice the full circle moment of collaborating with the ballet 8 years ago, not knowing in 2018 that this collaboration would lead me to my future partner…and now we return to the same space to collaborate again, but this time under brand new circumstances that feel so much more special to me both as an artist and as a human.

So with that, I thought in the spirit of fate, it’d be nice to pay homage to the first collaboration I did 8 years ago, and end this work with a reprise of “Kauri Wood”…furthering the idea that regardless of what you believe fate to be…the future does exist, and our actions and life events very much shape our future and the people we grow to be.

Most of this track is performed by my very good friend Eillo on the piano. The instructions we gave him were to travel out of the previous section for about 30-45 seconds, transition into a verse and chorus of Kauri Wood, and then vamp two chords til the end. I wrote everything and recorded it and showed it to him, and he performed it perfectly. I then wrote some words to go over the end to bring home the whole theme of the ballet (which you can read below) and my longtime producer and friend Kid Maestro executed all of the sound design, textures, effects and mixing.

I’m so proud of this ending, I’m proud of this entire work, and I can’t wait for everyone to experience “Under Strange Suns”!

Debuting this weekend, Feb. 13th-15th with Ballet Memphis.

Waking up inside a fog
Everything I see is strange
Tell me who you think we are
Leave me with nothing to say

Planned and shaded, or created
I say I don't know
One together, stormy weather
Take us back to home

Under suns
Under suns
Under suns
Under suns

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This year I wanted to be no different…so there were several books I requested and received as gifts for the holidays, and I was also on the receiving end of a hefty gift card to a local bookstore here in Memphis that I exhausted almost immediately. In my new stack, I acquired a Kurt Vonnegut book (The Sirens Of Titan) as I have never dived into any of Kurt’s work before but am confident he’s an author I will thoroughly enjoy…a book called The Ministry of Time by Kaliane Bradley that caught my eye last year, as well as several others. And just as last year, it was difficult figuring out where I should start. After polling some friends and my own thoughts, I decided to start 2026 with reading George Orwell’s 1984…a book that somehow I had never read before.

1984 feels like one of those books that everybody reads in school at some point, or is assigned in some way or another, but through whatever unplanned strategy I've managed to evade reading it until now. Last year my girlfriend gifted me Animal Farm, another classic George Orwell book that I had never read, and it was one of my favorites from last year. So digging into 1984 when I became aware of the themes the novel contained seemed like a no-brainer. But, despite already being aware of the themes…as the first month of 2026 began to unfold, I began to become aware of some pretty uncanny similarities between the happenings of the book and the goings-on of our own reality…

BIG BROTHER

For those who may not know, the book is set in the rather dystopian future of 1984 where all people are ruled by a tyrannical government that parades itself as the hero and provider of all things good in the world…despite the dystopian nature of everyones existence. Language has been reduced, history has been redacted, propaganda is around every corner and on every screen, and the leader and overlord over all things is mysteriously known simply as “Big Brother”.

It is, without ever using these specific terms, a clear depiction of a futuristic version of a dictatorship or oligarchy, where only a strong (or a few strong) and powerful rule and enjoy freedoms while the rest exist under their rule, either blind to what’s really going on behind the curtain, or forced to remain silent. (we’ll get to that later)

I should also note that the comparisons I’m about to make are extremely political, which is a world I have strived to deviate from in most of what I write to this point…but recent events have come to go far beyond any lines of thought or belief. No matter what anybody believes out there…what I firmly believe is what I see with my own eyes, and what I have seen feels very reminiscent of some of the passages from 1984.

For instance, Winston, the protagonist of 1984, has a job as a records editor in the Records Department of the Ministry of Truth. What he is forced to do everyday is rewrite various historical documents, books, news headlines, etc…to fit the narrative the The Party of Big Brother wants everyone to believe…despite their ever-changing narratives and stances of various topics. They will say we’re at war with one nation…then the next day without any note of change, express that we are aligned with that same nation and decree that they have declared war on another nation. They promise a growth in rations of certain products, then announce a decrease in rations of those same products and explain why this is actually a good thing. They re-write history by literally re-writing history, but also by just saying their version of the truth over and over again, and nobody is allowed to express a different point of view without intense punishment.

I look at the state of the world, and the state of America today, and it feels impossible to be nothing short of horrified at what has been transpiring lately. What’s been going on in Minnesota has been outrageously awful, but what has caught my attention even more so than the events themselves, has been the reaction by the government to those events.

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For those who may not be aware, I’ve been working with my partner to score her newest choreographic work, entitled “Under Strange Suns”. It’ll be a little over 20 minutes in total and I’ve never embarked on a project quite like this before, but it’s been incredibly rewarding to see it all slowly get pieced together.

I composed the entirety of the work but have been working with my friend and collaborator Kid Maestro who has been producing it, and doing the bulk of the work when it comes to sound design and texture.

Anyway, in parts of the work there are spoken words, and a little bit of singing at the very end. But this section that I’ll be sharing today is purely instrumental. It was the very first thing we created and the first thing I wrote when thinking about the direction I wanted this score to take. In my mind, I thought it could potentially be a good way for the work to start, so it was tentatively the intro…hence the name “Tentin”. Though, it was later decided to go further towards the end of the work. So now the title makes no sense…not that it made that much sense in the first place.

Normally I’d post the lyrics below but since in this case there are no lyrics, I’ll just say goodbye.

I probably won’t be releasing or sharing the entirety of the score anywhere else but I’m happy to give paid subscribers a sneak peak into what we’ve been creating! The work debuts with Ballet Memphis the weekend of Valentines Day, so there are a few more weeks of work left and I can’t wait for the public to finally see what we’ve been making.

Thank you as always for being here and talk to you again soon! Enjoy this small piece of the score for the ballet “Under Strange Suns” below.

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