It’s sunny and cool out, the AC is off and the windows are open to the breeze. I’m even wearing a new sweater. A true small joy!

Other highligts of the week were a new craft project, a new-to-me candy and some great fall clothes. I can feel the breeze of new beginnings blowing; September is one of my favorite months.

A. I met Angela Liguori, the lovely author of The Ribbon Book last night at Dugazon’s anniversary party. It relaxes me to make things; I can’t wait to jump into her projects. Bobby made these cheese straws which were delicious and a perfect cocktail party food. Similar recipe here.
B. Carta makes so many pretty ribbons.
C. I also snagged these charming scissors from Carta.
D. This tiny matchbox frame would make a good gift!
E. Tim and I sat down and got organized for back to school.

F. Matt & Bobby also turned me on to the best candy.
G. I finally ordered these pants for fall and they are just as good as I hoped - I purchased in my larger size from the petite section.
H. They look great with these (old) Adidas slides.
I. This Ziggy sweatshirt is perfect for cooler nights (this brand runs small - I bought in XL for an oversized look and I’m often a M these days) and this hot sauce tee in the kids section made me laugh (I bought in an XXL)!

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August always feels the most summery to me. And by that I mean: relaxed, easy, open. Maybe it’s that the end is in sight; the breathing room that comes with fall routines is close but not oppressively so. The food is all my favorites; Corn on the cob! Any and all corn salad! The sungolds! The BLTs! The grill is always on, and the stove is mostly off.

We had friends and friends of friends over on Friday night. It was nice to have a reason to put away all my clutter piles and pull out my pretty napkins, candles, and over-the-top silver serving pieces. While I don’t work with and think about silver every day anymore (in a different chapter of my life, I was an expert on 19th-century silver), I will always be drawn to the tactile nature of silver objects and the way they can steal the scene while cloaked in practicality (cutting a steak, serving the bagels, holding the salt).

I love when friends bring over their friends; the fact that everyone knows someone else well allows the group to leapfrog over a certain kind of awkward “first date” energy that I find particularly draining socially.

A. I was thinking on Friday night about the joy of beautiful, useful things. This past year the place where I’ve found the most joyful, most beautiful objects has been at Dugazon (19 West Main Street, Sharon, CT 06069). Matt and Bobby’s shop has an intangibly special feeling; a little like stumbling on Aladdin’s cave crossed with walking into the home of your warmest, most welcoming old friend. I’ve had this experience a handful of times before: at Choosing Keeping in London; at Collyers Mansion in Brooklyn; at Erica Weiner’s shop on Atlantic way back when. All to say, put Dugazon on your list if you haven’t already been. It’s the best reason to come visit Sharon, CT. Happy 1st Anniversary of Dugazon, Matt & Bobby!

B. What a fun way to display all our pins. If you aren’t a pin fanatic already, here are my favorites. Similar lamp here.
C. I made this “I brake for sweet corn” bumper sticker yesterday with some creative direction from Stephanie. And I figured out how you can buy one! You can also buy my “Born Under A Schlepping Sign” baseball cap.
D. The Nova-Wright household has been producing some bangers recently.
E. A friend stopped by work yesterday to brainstorm my next big event, and I got to see these Le sac bags in person - they’re good!

F. These glass stickers for keeping guests’ drinks straight crack me up! They were a big hit with adults and kids on Friday night.
G. I have been pleasantly surprised by these soft kettlebells.
H. A new-to-me hat brand.
I. With back to school looming, I’ve solved all our early morning water bottle drama, at least for a few weeks.

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I occasionally include affiliate links - typically to products from Etsy, Ebay, 1st Dibs, Bookshop, and yes, sometimes, Amazon. Affiliate links are bolded so you know when I’ve used one. Our most consistent political power comes from exercising our values via our wallets. I’m always thinking about cost, accessibility, and the planet. It’s a work in progress.

I include a few bonus finds here each week for paid subscribers as a small token of appreciation for making this newsletter possible.

A. NYC Icons Tote! They have Michigan and Philly, too!
B. These beaded sandals are on their way to me.
C. I think I posted about these soap-and-water Handzies wipes recently, but I just reordered again!
D. One of my secret shames is that I find Birks terribly uncomfortable. These Quince knockoffs are padded!?
E.These Play-Doh flower-making kits are winking at me; I haven’t bought them (yet) and worry that it’s a sort of one-time-use toy that will feel wasteful. But the videos make them look like a really fun adult toy for anyone who was into Sculpey back in the day.

The wave of summer is cresting, isn’t it? These are the days that feel the most like summer (swimming! watermelon feta salad! turning on the grill!), yet the return to the structure of the fall is on the horizon.

Alex and I took a road trip to Ontario last week so he could race in Canadian Henley. What a joy to have the unstructured time with my 17-year-old; to be out of our routines and typical roles. Turns out when I wasn’t watching, he has become take-my-breath-away funny. I haven’t laughed so hard in a long time.

Motherhood is full of surprises and opportunities to grow and change within the role. Our kids spin away from us from their first breaths; I’m always working on letting go (of my desire for control; of my preconceived notions) while keeping the channel between me and them open. The challenge of a lifetime, I suspect.

Other highlights: Beachcombing early in the morning on the shores of Lake Ontario! Easy, endless hours with an old friend on the breezy sidelines as the pageantry of the regatta glided past us. Being reminded of the joy of having a competitor's heart. The relief of homecoming to my own bed; my garden; to be contented with the life I have.

Bonus Pareting Content: This essay on kiddos going to college, which references this essay, and then I’ve been giggling my way through the short essays in Does This Volvo Make My Butt Look Big?

A. The best decision I made with my garden two years ago was to plant this native wildflower mix outside the bedroom windows. Drought resistent; weed repelling: this garden bed demands nothing of me. This coverlet is a longtime favorite.
B. I’m a long-time magazine-head; this newsletter and my old blog spring directly from the joy of flipping through those glossy pages. A random pharmacy in Ontario had an amazing selection of European design magazine which is probably the oldest of my small joys. Favorites included Country Living British Edition, which led me to this amazing artwork by Adam Bridgland.
C. Archaeology Magazine is just the kind of delight you’d expect; short articles on all kinds of interesting history (Ohio’s serpent mounds! The origins of tennis!). Highly recommend!
D. Alex and I stopped at the Duty Free, and a jumbo fruit and nut bar sustained us through the 7-hour drive home.

Of all the roles I wasn’t expecting to step into as a parent, the role of Sports Mom is top of the list; the landscape of childhood sports has changed a lot since I was a kid playing fall soccer games illuminated by car headlights when it got dark. Club sports; travel teams; none of this was a thing in rural Vermont in the 1980s and 1990s.

A decade into being a sports mom, my Volvo is littered with various kinds of sunblock (face, non-sticky body, 70+ spray sport, the gel one that my youngest likes), a variety of bug sprays and baseball caps, and at least six different folding chairs, stools, picnic blankets, three different weights of towels (that double as blankets), and hoodies in every size. A roll of painter’s tape and a Sharpie come in handy more often than you’d think.

I now pack the chair with a sunshade and bring more water than you think it’s humanly possible to consume. I’ve got coolers in size XS-XXL, and I know to dump a few of those extra bottles of water in with the ice so it doesn’t seize up into a single block (it took me years to learn this!).

The surest way to show your love is to pull into the gas station and let the kids buy all the snacks. On the sidelines, the trick is to keep your mouth shut and take as much video as possible. The reason you buy the team swag for yourself is so that other parents will know which team you’re rooting for.

E. Of all the various gear we own, this chair, the one with a sunshade, is the best!
F. The best fuel for everyone (parents, siblings, and competitors) is a PB&J. It’s easy to digest; it has a good mix of carbs, fat, and sugar. If you’re feeding a team: Remember a package of paper plates and paper towels; pick up 6 stainless steel knives at a thrift store and leave them in the car. Along with the peanut butter & jelly, it never hurts to throw in a loaf of gluten-free bread so everyone can be fed. (Earlier in my parenting life there were a lot of peanut allergies; now there are none!) The cream Ikea bags make a great place for team trash (these events are almost always carry-in & carry-out).
G. I bought this Keep Going first aid kit at some point for the car, but I hadn’t used it until this week. Big recommend. It’s clearly labeled; everything is high quality.
H. I threw these wipes into the car at the last minute and was so glad I did. The regatta didn’t have much infrastructure; lots of portapotties, and it had flooded the day before we arrived, so it was muddy!

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I occasionally include affiliate links - typically to products from Etsy, Ebay, 1st Dibs, Bookshop, and yes, sometimes, Amazon. Affiliate links are bolded so you know when I’ve used one. Our most consistent political power comes from exercising our values via our wallets. I’m always thinking about cost, accessibility, and the planet. It’s a work in progress.

I’m on the train with just a trickle of cell service, so no image here today.

I include a few bonus finds here each week for paid subscribers as a small token of appreciation for making this newsletter possible.

1. This Diet Coke hand towel is fun!

2. A deep dive into the warrior women! Queens! Businesswomen! throughout history. A reminder to myself that the history of the world is wide and full of different ways of being no matter how much our culture tries to make all of us small enough to fit into narrow boxes.

3. These are my favorite folders for corralling projects.

4. After a long search and more than a few misfires, I have finally replaced my beloved red Timbuk2 commuter backpack (purchased in 2017!) with this electric blue one from Everlane.

My sister is visiting for a night; we went out to a late lunch yesterday and caught up over fries and a glass of white wine in an empty dining room that felt like it was just for us. We don’t get a lot of 1:1 time together anymore, and I had the sensation of time folding on itself, as if the 10-year-old, 20-year-old, 30-year-old versions of our catch-up were all taking place in the same space. A sort of timelessness to the feeling of intimacy of being with my sister; really focusing on her and feeling her really focusing back. ✨

A. Stephanie introduced me to the work of artist Anandamayi Arnold. These rocks! Incredible.
B. This tape dispenser, made for washi tape, is winking at me as I have a fair number of rolls knocking around various drawers and bins of art supplies. The allure of organization!
C. The garden is suddenly full of monarch butterflies! I read this article, which took me to Monarch Watch and an app you can download to see if any of the tagged monarchs pass you on their migration.
D. Ahhhh, you know I’m a real Christmas obsessive when I’m putting an ornament in the newsletter in AUGUST. Oh well, I am what I am.

E. A pal bought me this cherry jam, which I’d never tried before, having been a real raspberry jam loyalist for many years. Turns out, I’m really more of a jam loyalist - who knew!
F. How elegant are these porcelain jars? In three sizes.
G. These socks made me laugh - turtles and pigeons, oh my!
H. Ahhhh, my love of neon continues unabated. On sale here.

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If you enjoyed this newsletter, consider clicking the ❤️ button — it really does help other like-minded readers discover my writing (oh, algorithms!).

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I occasionally include affiliate links - typically to products from Etsy, Ebay, 1st Dibs, Bookshop, and yes, sometimes, Amazon. Affiliate links are bolded so you know when I’ve used one. Our most consistent political power comes from exercising our values via our wallets. I’m always thinking about cost, accessibility, and the planet. It’s a work in progress.

I include a few bonus finds here each week for paid subscribers as a small token of appreciation for making this newsletter possible.

1. Blackberry lookalike! I want!

2. Ben introduced me to The New Yorker’s games.

3. Ben picked out these Flower Mountain sneakers.

4. A chic friend texted me these green flats.

Dusk has faded into full night as I’ve been working on the newsletter, and since I haven’t bothered to get up and pull the shades, just now, when I glanced outside, I saw that the fireflies are out. ✨ We’re past the solstice; it’s getting darker just a tad earlier than a few weeks ago. I feel a shift towards the turning of the season, and it makes these glorious final days of July all the more precious.

We had a knock-around day here with just one scheduled activity, which ended up getting canceled - hallelujah!. Ben and I woke up early and faffed around in the garden for a bit; we pulled weeds and planted wildflower seeds in some bare spots left by daffodils I let go too long this spring (when will I learn to cut them back faster?!).

Then, the kids and I ended up watching Mission Impossible: Final Reckoning in the middle of the day, which felt decadent and very much like a summertime treat. We then made pesto for dinner from a glut of basil a friend dropped off, something Alex (my 17-year-old) and I have been doing together since he was tiny. A good day!

Nova Wright Pesto Approach:
Fill a Cuisinart bowl with basil/kale/spinach you have around.
Combine with equal parts Parmesan cheese (1 cup) and almonds (1 cup). Tonight I used 5 honking cloves of garlic (probably the equivalent of 10 normal cloves) and probably half a cup of oil. It was a pretty thick pesto that I’ll freeze and thin out later with pasta water and some additional oil. I like this old-fashioned ice cube tray for freezing pesto.

A. I love it when friends remember my birthday, and I am always working on ways to remember birthdays. This charming perpetual birthday calendar is a work of art in its own right.
B. Last night Ben and I had half an hour to kill and stopped by our favorite bookstore. There was something hypnotic and appealing about the grids of colors all so neatly organized in this collection of color charts. I carried it around the store for twenty minutes until I talked myself out of buying it. Maybe next time!
C. This measuring tape reusable notepad for jotting measurements is so smart, and I love the packaging (and the cyclops reference!)
D. I ran errands with a pal; one of my favorite kinds of intimacy. We stopped by Bizalions in Great Barrington (a fantastic French cafe if you’re in the area), and this red pocket knife winked at me.
E. The organic shapes of this necklace caught my eye and ended up in my Zara order. I also ordered this and this.

F. This is a really affordable and surprisingly comfortable shirt dress. It’s a very lightweight and soft cotton that washes well; I’ve worn it multiple days this week and ordered it in the red stripe, too. I tried both my smaller and larger sizes, and I decided to keep both as they each worked on my petite, short-waisted, and busty frame.
G. I used up the last of these clothing tape stickers to close the buttons of the shirtdress at the bust (a forever problem of mine) and promptly reordered.
H. I bought this tiny notebook for myself and for a friend who is also a list maker. Somehow I never have paper on hand when I need it! Maybe now I will.
I. I found these travel scissors mixed in with some watercolor supplies and was delighted to rediscover them.
J. These easy paper airplanes have been a huge hit with the 8-year-old set; Ben has been making them obsessively in the mornings - the garden is littered with them.

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I occasionally include affiliate links - typically to products from Etsy, Ebay, 1st Dibs, Bookshop, and yes, sometimes, Amazon. Affiliate links are bolded so you know when I’ve used one. Our most consistent political power comes from exercising our values via our wallets. I’m always thinking about cost, accessibility, and the planet. It’s a work in progress.

I’m homeward bound on the train from Grand Central; this particular section of the train is humming with the happy noise of friends chatting and relaxed on a Saturday afternoon, all of us held in the whir of the AC. It’s chilly enough that I had to put on a cotton sweater. BLISS!

I was in the city for dinner with friends, one of whom was in town from LA for a night. My sister says, “You don’t get any more old friends,” and she’s right. We feasted on a Murray’s Cheese platter that I picked up at Grand Central Market, had cocktails at Titan, and ended the evening with ice cream at Oddfellows. Plus hours and hours of talk, talk, talk. The very best way to spend 24 hours.

A. I sent out the Design Circle (the highest level of paid supporters) limited-edition mailing this week; my favorite item in the box (which was full of all kinds of my favorite things) was the custom Born Under A Schlepping Sign baseball cap I made inspired by an enthusiastic commenter. I really enjoy putting together these boxes; the creative exercise of how to best engineer surprise and delight is a big small joy!
B. Last night I ordered the vanilla soft serve with olive oil and salt at Oddfellows; Tim and I first tasted this combo at the bar at Otto way back when. It’s as good now as it was then.
C. I bought this cheese crazy tote at Murray’s.
D. And I wanted but resisted the cheese crazy patch at checkout!
E. On the way home, I spotted this cute NYC teething toy - a good gift!

F. I love the intimacy of staying with friends (and getting to try their shampoo!). This Kiehl’s shampoo and conditioner wasn’t on my radar, but I really liked both - a light scent, and my fine hair didn’t feel weighed down after. Recommend!
G. The doorman at my old building introduced me to these Sharpie Pros as we caught up this morning.
H. I ordered these photo frames on a bit of a whim last week and have been pleasantly surprised by them. Note that the frames are not designed with glass to protect the photograph; otherwise, these are nice frames to give along with a great photo of friends or family.
I. These Chiaverini Jams have been winking at me from the shelf of my local grocery store for months, but I’ve resisted purchasing because sometimes aesthetically packaged food items are just that: pretty but don’t taste great. I was delighted when I spotted this jam in my friend’s fridge, and am even happier to report to you that it was straight-up delicious.
J. The whole train ride I’ve been thinking about how delicious the olive oil and sea salt were on that vanilla soft serve. I clicked around a bit and found these single-serve olive oil minis. Someone gave me a fancy travel sea salt, which I’ve never had a reason to carry - but now I can recreate the flavors at my local soft serve place. I can’t wait!

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If you enjoyed this newsletter, consider clicking the ❤️ button — it really does help other like-minded readers discover my writing (oh, algorithms!).

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I occasionally include affiliate links - typically to products from Etsy, Ebay, 1st Dibs, Bookshop, and yes, sometimes, Amazon. Affiliate links are bolded so you know when I’ve used one. Our most consistent political power comes from exercising our values via our wallets. I’m always thinking about cost, accessibility, and the planet. It’s a work in progress.

I include a few bonus finds here each week for paid subscribers as a small token of appreciation for making this newsletter possible.

A. Self-help books can be so alluring (just buy this book and your problems will be SOLVED!). This one I couldn’t resist, as the biggest problem I’m wrestling with these days is pacing - how to meet my obligations and not burn out. I’ll let you know if there’s a piece of wisdom or two in here.
B. We made this charred cabbage and chicken peanut chopped salad tonight for dinner! Yum!
C. I’ve been wanting to share my intense love for these crackers for weeks but keep feeling a little bit like everyone must already know and love them; just in case you haven’t discovered the crunchy goodness, now you know!
D. My dad had a birthday a few weeks back, and given that we’re a family of movie lovers, I sent this popcorn-palooza his way. A big hit: Butter Flavored Salt, Popcorn maker (I have this in red!), popcorn, and boxes.

I’m sitting on the porch of the house where Ben takes drum lessons; he’s rocking out in there, and it’s a breezy 72 degrees and sunny out here. I’m forever humbled by the experience of watching kids become who they are; what a joy to hear the music that is in him emerge. After a hectic few weeks, this was the first unscheduled weekend that felt truly like summer; a long catch-up drinks with a dear friend, dinner at the lake, lots of swimming, puttering around without an agenda, working on projects in the house, making art with the kids, grilling dinner and eating outside.

A. My father’s latest novel, The Last Sweet Taste, was published last week…
B. …. and I’m thrilled to share that it received a starred review in Booklist, and Publishers Weekly featured it in How The Last Sweet Taste by Craig Nova Got Made.

This is a book for you if … you enjoy love stories even in the most difficult of times. Anna, a PhD student at the University of Chicago, receives a devastating medical diagnosis. She leaves everything behind and randomly boards a bus to Brattleboro, Vermont. There, a father and son who run a dynamiting business offer her shelter. When an enormous ice dam threatens to flood the town, Anna and the two men work together. This literary thriller portrays life’s precariousness with solemnity and awe.

If you read it, let me know what you think!

C. My sister sent me a link to this Car Talk T-shirt, and I purchased it ASAP. A little-known fact about me is that I applied to be a screener on Car Talk (and was offered the job!!) but ultimately declined (which may be my life’s only regret!).
D. Charming paper plates would make a nice lil pick me up.
E. Ben and I stumbled on these abalone shells at our local “fancy” grocery store for $4.99 and were both just mesmerized. We bought one and are taking turns keeping it by our bedsides - next shopping trip I’m buying one of my own!!!

F. Earlier today Ben and I had a ridiculous amount of fun with this washable airbrush kit that uses regular Crayola markers. I can’t quite put my finger on what was so satisfying - I think it’s that you load regular markers into the airbrush gun and suddenly you’re spraypainting! It’s totally washable and didn’t make a mess. We enjoyed the stencils that come with the set (I bought two kits since I have two kids and I also love doing this kind of project), but the real fun was scavenging around the house for other items to use as stencils. We also experimented with various leaves, coins, and such.

G. My friend Stephanie introduced me to Bari Zaki and her wonderful website and store years ago - Zaki’s “big stack o’ biggish scraps” and notepads are a go-to gift for creative friends. I’m so excited for Zaki’s new book, Bound to be Beautiful, and can’t wait to make some of the projects with this book binding kit that I gave to Alex two Christmases ago.
H. I bought this hammock earlier in the summer, and while it is not a true navy - more of a robin’s-egg blue- it’s soft and comfortable. I recommend if you’re in the market.
I. This Disco Inferno bird seed mix made me laugh when I spotted it in the grocery store. It’s spicy to keep the squirrels away!
J. I’ve been on the hunt for a simple red sandal this summer, and these Reefs are pretty great. I am a true size 9, and for the first time in living memory, I had to return these for the next size down (all to say, they seem to run big!).

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I occasionally include affiliate links - typically to products from Etsy, Ebay, 1st Dibs, Bookshop, and yes, sometimes, Amazon. Affiliate links are bolded so you know when I’ve used one. Our most consistent political power comes from exercising our values via our wallets. I’m always thinking about cost, accessibility, and the planet. It’s a work in progress.

NB: The newsletter is taking a summer break … I’ll be back on July 11th.

Yesterday, a good friend spent the night with us en route to New Hampshire. Her visit really made it summer as my childhood June-July-Augusts were punctuated by similar visits from various friends of my parents who stopped for a night or two on their way to points north or south, each entering ever so briefly into the slipstream of our lives.

Last night we sat on the couch until 2 am, wrapped in blankets, talking about everything and nothing; catching up on the universe of people in each of our worlds. There’s nothing like the easy intimacy of an old friend. It humbles me to be on the receiving end of her steadfast attention and care; to be held in that kind of friendship is one of the great privileges of this life and one that I never take for granted.

A. Last night was deliciously cool and clear; the stars felt especially within reach as my friend and I drove to pick up Alex from a friend’s house at 10:30 pm, following winding roads and indecipherable GPS directions. I spotted this constellation finder earlier in the week.
B. We fit in a trip to a local lake this weekend, complete with beachcombing for snail shells, which made me yearn for an August trip to an ocean beach. I spotted this fancy towel ($$$) and was charmed, I suppose, by the fantasy it sells - of leisure, of time to get bored at the beach and play analog games with a pal - the fantasy of summer.

C. Tempted to try out this $36 set of towels with these game pieces. Not sure if the size of the squares on the towel will be quite right.
D. Earlier in the week, I stopped at my local bookstore and stocked up on my favorite green pens.
E. and also, once there, the see-through cover of this neon notebook beguiled me.

F. A forever shoutout to my favorite catch and release aquarium.
G. For years, I kept both the aquarium and one of these Hape toy shovels in the car. I love to see kids squatting by the water, digging, building, catching & releasing whatever they find.

H. We’ve had a string of bluebird days; I got out into the garden. I spooted this chic sunhat ($100) with a paracord tie.
I. And then saw this $40 version (but final sale!) and then the diy version (neon) and (electric blue) which is what I really need since I already have a hat but without the practical tie to stop it from blowing away.
J. All this summery summer time means that I re-ordered for the 5th time my favorite Elta MD sunblock - it is the only sunblock I reliably will use once I’ve purchased it. It isn’t sticky, it doesn’t smell, and it somehow makes me look much more put together than I ever feel.

Leave a comment

If you enjoyed this newsletter, consider clicking the ❤️ button — it really does help other like-minded readers discover my writing (oh, algorithms!).

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I occasionally include affiliate links - typically to products from Etsy, Ebay, 1st Dibs, Bookshop, and yes, sometimes, Amazon. Affiliate links are bolded so you know when I’ve used one. Our most consistent political power comes from exercising our values via our wallets. I’m always thinking about cost, accessibility, and the planet. It’s a work in progress.

I include a few bonus finds here each week for paid subscribers as a small token of appreciation for making this newsletter possible.

1. I’ve been reaching for this striped sweater on more cool nights than not.

2. I’ve had this toothbrush holder for two years - it keeps my toothbrush off my tiny sink and even tinier sliver of counter.

3. One of the joys of my current job is that I have a lot of intergenerational friendships - and the chicest of the older ladies in my orbit has been rocking this Amazon dress in hot pink and orange. I’ve ordered it in a more sedate navy and will report back.

4. This chore worksheet has been a surprise success story with my 8-year-old. I slipped it into a clear document holder and taped up a dry-erase marker, and he has been just … doing his chores. Your mileage may vary, but it’s a free download…from Days with Grey. And! If you inadvertently upload it to Canva, as I did, you can edit all the components, which might make it more useful for your family and rhythms.

This week, I had the sensation of time and summer accelerating; the peonies are already past, the foxgloves are blooming, and the wildflowers are bursting out of the garden beds that were bare soil two years ago. Summer can sometimes feel like it evaporates; I’m trying to slow down when I can, make the BLT, go for the swim, and do the mini crossword with Ben in the morning.

My parents were here for a short visit; they are particularly good at relaxing: making peanut butter toast as a snack just because, reading the paper cover to cover, taking a walk up the road to stretch their legs. On this particular visit, we nailed the balance between doing things and doing nothing, together.

I’m sitting on the couch as I finish the newsletter. Ben is next to me, playing Zelda on his Switch. It’s a companionable situation, we’re working and talking, easy.

He just asked me, “Can hearts really break? Why do humans even call our hearts ‘hearts’?” What could I say but “There are a lot of questions, honey, but not so many answers.” He nodded and said, “It’s still important to ask the questions, though; someday maybe we’ll get an answer.” Out of the mouths of babes!

May your week be full of slow small joys whatever they are + time together and some good food, too.

This week’s Just Trust Me. Shout out to my hometown of Brattleboro, VT

A. The wildflower mix in action…
B. What a blissful idea - to bop around the Hudson Valley via independent bookstores: Hudson Valley Book Trail. P.S. I bought the tote and have really been using it - it’s a good (deep) size with comfortable straps.
C. My mom brought this amazing nail clipper with her - after using it, I smashed the add to cart button so fast.
D. Spotted: a fun book with amazing illustrations: Lots and lots of animals!

E. A pretty woodprint tablecloth! Found via Kim France, whose Substack Girls of A Certain Age, is fast becoming an autoread for me.

F. I finally gave in after years of seeing ads for these Rag and Bone “jean” shorts. Turns out they are ridiculously comfortable and make me laugh every time I see them in my closet (the ‘jeans’ are printed on a very soft, almost terrycloth-like fabric). Your mileage may vary, as always, but I say: worth a try.
G. A new to me flavor - delicious!
H. My parents reintroduced me to the joy of toast with peanut butter … and blueberry jam. I’d built a whole identity around being a raspberry jam person, and, lo and behold, that’s done now.
I. Cadbury Fruit & Nut is one of my all-time favorite pick-me-ups - it’s been out of stock at my local grocery store until this week. Blisssssssss.
J. Spotted this tissue paper at my local bookstore. A little different!

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1. I don’t need another plate of any kind (🫠 ask the racks in my basement why 🫠), but it doesn’t stop me from wanting these.

2. A Need Cake! card.

3. This 3D printed starfish was an impulse purchase, but has been a big hit in our house. It would be a cute addition to a camp care package

4. I always love to see everyday objects reimagined or slightly improved. This might be a good Father’s Day gift …

5. You are the vibe! card.

This one is short and sweet today; guests arrive in three hours, and there are a lot of last-minute things to do (aka, I’m in a cleaning frenzy!). I hope you have a week full of June things: soft light, an easy summer dinner, and maybe some soft serve ice cream, too.

A. A friend told me about the Grandma Moses A Good Day’s Work exhibition at the Smithsonian. I won’t make the show (in DC), but I did buy the catalogue.
B. Stephanie sent me this mini cloud notebook a while back, and this week I was looking for a mini notebook to store my endless to-do stickies, and this little guy was the perfect solution.
C. Pretty little stone bowls here and also here.
D. Summer is here; I gasped when I came across this electric blue outdoor lamp.
E. I first bought these lightweight, fast-drying towels in 2021 (and then bought two more sets in 2022), and they are still all going strong; highly recommend them!

F. My favorite swimsuit is now available in a cute checkered print! I’m short-waisted and busty (40E), with a tummy, and this suit manages to be comfortable and makes me feel good. While your mileage may vary, I truly recommend trying it. I take my larger size in the largest cup size for this one.
G. These star sandals have been in my closet for … a decade and are still going strong.
H. Wearing on repeat: Zara skirt (ack! just realized it is sold out!), but similar vibes here, Le Bon Shoppe top, Clare V bag (sold out) but available in other colors as a little extra bling I also added the pearl shorty strap, and my favorite hair pin for hot days.
I. My chicest, most organized boss used to carry one tote bag for her personal stuff and one for her work stuff. I have followed her lead in this (and many other things). For years, I’ve schlepped two of these LLBean camo totes - but for the summer, I’m yearning for a sleeker, lighter approach. These just might do the trick.
J. Last year, we made these mosquito buckets with these dunks, and I was shook by how effective they were.

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I occasionally include affiliate links - typically to products from Etsy, Ebay, 1st Dibs, Bookshop, and yes, sometimes, Amazon. Affiliate links are bolded so you know when I’ve used one. Our most consistent political power comes from exercising our values via our wallets. I’m always thinking about cost, accessibility, and the planet. It’s a work in progress.

I include a few bonus finds here each week for paid subscribers as a small token of appreciation for making this newsletter possible.

I had an old landlord who used to joke that she was born under a schlepping sign. Same, girl, same. My love of these cream Ikea bags knows no limits; I ordered a new set this week. I always get compliments when I use them.

This LL Bean Bote and Tote-inspired Cooler caught my eye.

As did these square totes made from a similar Ikea bag material.

These hand-drawn gift tags and valentines by Melissa Gamwell are so charming.

This week in small joys: the rhododendron’s annual shock of hot pink, birthday celebrations (Alex is 17!?), and a long lunch with a friend on her porch. There was also the devastating news that an old friend, Nancy Park, died too soon. My grief is, of course, an echo of my love, and when I think of grief that way, as love reverberating and returning, it is easier to carry.

As they often do, the routines and rhythms of life steadied me: taking out the cardboard, the trip to the dump, baking the birthday cake, discovering the perfect cake glaze, checking the PO Box, and making small talk with neighbors out for an evening walk.

For her memorial, Nancy asked that her friends tell stories so her teenage kids could know her better. Years ago, when Nancy left NYC, I wrote this essay about our friendship on my former blog, and it contains the seeds of the letter I’ll write to her children:

Today I’m going to tell you a quintessential New York love story, one where Craigslist is the deus ex machina. I grew up on stories of New York City; where my father had driven a taxi cab, where my mother had worked as a producer for CBS News; so it was no surprise that after college I made my way there.

I’d just turned twenty-four, left the man I loved in Boston, and sublet a room on the Upper East Side in Normandie Court, at 225 E 95th. My landlord was a wanna-be actor who had moved to LA. Mirrors were everywhere; the bed on an angle such that I could never escape my own image or my ideas about why he’d set up the mirrors that way. Every time I opened a closet or dresser drawer, one of his smug headshots popped out.

It was August; back home in Vermont I knew exactly how tall the corn would be, the silky tassels lifting in the breeze. This apartment was on the 16^th floor and the only thing familiar here was the sky. The city was overwhelming; particularly for someone who’d only lived in the woods.

In this era before Google maps or cell phones I would print out MapQuest directions in the office and then cut out the tiny map that followed and fold it into my wallet for my inevitable dislocation. After work, I would walk the fifty blocks home to 92^nd street from my office because I didn’t have anywhere to go or anyone to see. Just to be around other people, I would step off the street and into Bloomingdales at 59^th street and simply ride the escalator to the top, standing behind women in chic trench coats and nice shoes, and then ride back to the street level.

It was also around this time that on weekends I walked to the Metropolitan Museum to just sit on the cool wooden benches in the Great Hall underneath the enormous flower arrangements. Just sit, not even set foot into the galleries.

I couldn’t seem to have a way into the delights of the city; I was an outsider, stuck as an observer. My sublet was up, I needed an affordable room; I trekked all over the city looking at apartments.

Then the miracle happened. I read Nancy’s craigslist ad for a room in her house in Brooklyn; I could see a sliver of greenery through the window in one of the photos. In the middle of a February snowstorm, I trudged down Court Street to an unfamiliar part of Brooklyn. It was dark by the time I walked down Pineapple Street. The lights of the city glowed across the river; it was magical; it was terrifying.

I slogged past the Watchtower building and knocked on a grey door with the paint peeling. Nancy opened the door; smiling, and let me into her garden courtyard; the lights of her row house glowed behind her. She made me tea; we talked for a long time. She asked me about my dreams (my dreams!). I had forgotten I had dreams until I sat on her pinstriped sofa with a cup of tea. She showed me the room she had to rent – it was double the size of the room I was subletting and not a mirror in sight. It even had its own bathroom and a washer dryer we could share. I took the room, where I could mark the seasons by the single tree in the tiny courtyard.

My friendship with Nancy grew over time to be a guiding light; a safe harbour. I’d never had a friend quite like her. No more walks home with a stop off at Bloomingdales to ride the escalator. I had someone to come home to. She was so certain of herself, so confident, so fearless. She’d been living in New York since she was 19; she knew the city and didn’t hesitate to share it with me; she was well-travelled; she had been on Wall Street on 9/11 and walked home barefoot after abandoning her high heels in the rush to safety.

She’d met Dan, one of the loves of her life, on a boat in Southeast Asia. A few months after I moved in, Dan moved from Denmark to live with Nancy, a few months after that my boyfriend from Boston, Tim, moved in too. We’d gone from two to four.

Food was critical to the rhythms of Nancy’s life and our life together. So it’s no surprise there were many shared dinners, sometimes Nancy frying tofu that she first coated in corn startch with a deft hand and sometimes Dan’s meatballs. I know Tim and I took turns cooking, but I don’t remember what we contributed except that there was so much laughter.

Dan and Nancy got married in May 2006 and then Tim and I got married in July 2006. Tim and I moved out in 2007 to our own starter apartment; in short order the four us when to six when Nancy and I got pregnant in the same week and delivered our sons two days apart. And now, Dan and Nancy are expecting a baby girl. They are leaving the city at the end of April for sunny California. I’m so excited and proud of them; I’m so devastated to be in New York without them.

Nancy made the best chocolate shortbread. When she ordered at a coffee shop, and the cashier asked for her name, she always said it was Sunshine. I asked her once why she did that; she said it was partly for security as a woman living alone in NYC, and partly because she loved hearing someone call out "Sunshine.” She had a radical ability to notice and bear witness; to be truly in the moment with you, whatever that moment contained.

There’s no good transition between the dark and the light this week, except to say that Nancy was always the first person to point out the duality of life - that it is good and bad, happy and sad, heavy and light.

A. We’ve had a bear amble by the front door a few times now, and so I purchased this world’s loudest whistle to carry on my key chain.
B. I have a mixed track record with planners (and a whole stack of unused planners in the basement to prove it). But this week, I couldn’t resist this Little Things All In One 6-month planner. It’s undated (less pressure to use it every day), and I like the common-sense groundedness of just 6 months to a planner. A year is a big bite to chew on, isn’t it?
C. I spied these tiny New York nibbles! cards while shopping for Alex’s birthday, and was charmed by the line drawings.
D. I seem to often post tiny things and candles, so this week I give you a … tiny candle holder.
E. These Birthday cake bubbles seem like a guaranteed joy machine.

F. Just some cool sneakers from Flower Mountain.
G. Two friends opened a charming, magical clothing store in Millerton, NY, and I snagged this sweatshirt and this perfectly soft t-shirt.
H. I’m always on the lookout for good men’s brands - I’m liking Clae sneakers, too.
I. At $15, these forever flowers seem like a sweet gift to have at the ready.

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This week, I re-read one of my favorite Dick Francis novels and was reminded of the joy of rereading a good book, particularly in times when I’m overworked, overtired, and overwhelmed. I find the settings of Dick Francis’s novels - the upper-crust world of English horse racing in the 1980s - to be particularly escapist, relaxing, and occasionally hilarious.

It helps that I spent some formative years absolutely horse-obsessed; indeed, a little-known fact about me is that I was an adolescent three-time barrel-racing champion. My success was due 99% to the prowess of Dusty, the retired barrel racing horse at my local stables, and 1% to my ability to stay out of his way. Despite my youth, Dusty taught me lessons I’ve carried far beyond the stables: the intrinsic joy of being around someone who is really good at something and what it feels like to win. I really wasn’t much of a rider. I hated to canter, and I never got the hang of galloping, but I did love to take care of the horses. I got so much pleasure out of the structure and honest work of mucking out, grooming, and feeding horses. So I suppose Dusty really taught me another lesson: how to find the joy of routine and the pleasure of caretaking, which, more than anything, has carried me through the hardest days of parenting.

Francis has a gift for writing main characters who, against all odds, manage to be courageous, steadfast, and most of all, tough as nails. It doesn’t hurt that Francis writes in a clear, compelling style, often getting entirely out of the reader’s way, which is much harder than it seems. In To The Hilt, Francis perfectly depicts the pleasures and tortures of loving what you do for work. For the main character, this is painting, and for his wife, this is training thoroughbreds. I like that Dick Francis never shies away from complexity between people: husbands and wives, fathers and sons, the vagaries of friendship. There is an honest rawness to these books (in their confection) that makes for deeply pleasurable reading. I highly recommend trying a few (there are over forty-five Dick Francis novels; I’ve only read 22 of them!) with the aim of keeping a few on the shelf for the inevitable time when you need a comfort read.

This Week’s Just Trust Me

A. My oldest friend Emily texted me a photo of these vases this evening. I met Emily under a tree at a summer camp in 7th grade. I was reading a book after lunch, and she came up to me and asked what I was reading, which is the root of a forever friendship if there ever was one! She reminded me that I’d given her the vases as part of a housewarming gift a few years ago that included B. this olive oil, C. this salt holder, and D. this pretty salt. I’d forgotten all about the gift, but am tickled that she continues to use the vases.
E. Grace posted this ‘all-in-one’ candle in her weekend newsletter, and I instantly loved it. It would also make a nice housewarming or hostess gift.

F. My oldest son took a year-long architecture class, and this week finished his final project. These tiny architectural model people have always fascinated both of us - when Alex was little (age 3-6), we’d look at them in an art supply store near Columbia University almost every week, but never bought them. It was a small joy for both of us to finally have an excuse to purchase some for this project. The proud mama in me can’t help but share his project, which is on display in a gallery at school (I’m not sure what the bear's story is…). Alex’s project is the house on the rock. ✨✨✨

G. I reordered these rain notes for the 5th time and figured it was worth sharing again since they are foundational to my day-to-day life.
H. Dick Francis 4 Life: To The Hilt and Straight.

Now, off to watch the next episode of Rivals (so good!).

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I occasionally include affiliate links - typically to products from Etsy, Ebay, 1st Dibs, Bookshop, and yes, sometimes, Amazon. Affiliate links are bolded so you know when I’ve used one. Our most consistent political power comes from exercising our values via our wallets. I’m always thinking about cost, accessibility, and the planet. It’s a work in progress.

I include a few bonus finds here each week for paid subscribers as a small token of appreciation for making this newsletter possible.

1. How dreamy is this Cloud Dress?

2. I bought these Adidas Slides last year, wore them today, and was reminded of how they can make an outfit! Sold out, but a few pairs on Poshmark.

3. These Rue de Verneuil Totes are lusty.

It’s 4 pm, and I’m alone in the house with no plans for the rest of the day: blissssssss. It’s sunny and warm, and the windows are open in my favorite room in the house. The sun is casting dappled patterns through the newly leafed trees. I can feel and hear the breeze, and Argus is stretched out nearby.

I was out in the world a little more than usual this week, at an oral history conference and then at an Iron Works weekend at the Eric Sloane Museum in Kent, CT where a group of master blacksmiths smelted iron from a bloomery forge. Humans have been making iron for thousands of years, and as I watched the group of men and women tend the (incredibly hot) furnace, adding iron ore mined in Vermont and charcoal from Virginia, I had the sense of the chain remaining unbroken; of knowledge, curiosity, and collaboration flowing from the past into the future. I’m introverted and a creature of habit, which means it isn’t always easy for me to be in the world, but this week reminded me of the pleasures of meeting new people, new ideas, and exploring new (and very old) ways of doing things.

PS, this is a musical version of Just Trust Me.

A. These (sadly expensive) porcelain boxes charmed me; how special and unexpected! They might be a good graduation gift….Croissant box, Orange box, and my favorite, the Donut box!
B. Here’s how you know it was a busy week - I put this postcard into my newsletter images twice and didn’t notice (and now I’m too tired to fix it). Here’s to not letting perfect be the enemy of good….
C. In my travels this week, I poked my head into a gift shop that carried a lot of this line of paper animals. This month I snagged for a pal.
D. And I was very tempted by this collection of Luna Moths - every summer in my childhood, once or twice we’d be lucky enough to see a luna moth at night, attracted by our screened porch light. They hold a sort of talismanic place in my memory.

E. A friend slipped this into my grocery bag after we stopped at local cult favorite Guido’s on our way back from the oral history conference. A reminder that friendship doesn’t have to be big gestures and, in fact, is found in the smallest ones. ✨
F. I’m salivating just looking at the bag of this new to me Haribo Ginger-Lemon candy. I ate an entire bag in the car earlier in the week.
G. Alex found these mini Krazy Glue - so smart and such consumer insight (how many crusted-over Krazy Glues have I had to cut open with scissors?! many!)
H. I saw this postcard this week - true!

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I occasionally include affiliate links - typically to products from Etsy, Ebay, 1st Dibs, Bookshop, and yes, sometimes, Amazon. Affiliate links are bolded so you know when I’ve used one. Our most consistent political power comes from exercising our values via our wallets. I’m always thinking about cost, accessibility, and the planet. It’s a work in progress.

I include a few bonus finds here each week for paid subscribers as a small token of appreciation for making this newsletter possible.

1. This IKEA stool seems cool and practical, and I’m coveting a few of them!

2. These IKEA bins are my go-to gardening tool to corral all kinds of things (and also kids’ outdoor toys!)

3. I just bought Alex these flip-flops that were a mainstay of my teenage years.

The crab apple trees outside my office bloomed this week, and the smell has been resonant; a high school boyfriend (my first kiss!) asked me to prom in a grove of blooming crab apples. Every time I’ve unlocked and locked the door to work, the scent has been a portal back to the giddy groundedness of that moment. Life is long and has a lot of chapters, and some of them are very sweet.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms, mother figures, mothers-to-be, and the motherless. It’s a weird day; a Hallmark card type of day, but also a day where everyone tries (and sometimes fails) to honor the work of care. As crabby as the artificial-performative-commercialization of this day sometimes makes me, I still find myself moved by the texts from mom friends in the trenches, by the cards, by the flowers, by my 8-year-old saying, with no small amount of drama, “don’t come into my bedroom,” where he is keeping a Mother’s Day present he made at school. Whatever could be in his room? I’ll report back next week. In the meantime, all I really want is time to make art with my kids. And maybe take a day trip to Supplies For Creative Living….

A. This consequences vending machine made me laugh! Mama sure isn’t playing.
B. I’ve long been a fan of Banquet Workshop and love these pins in particular
C. These pencil candles stopped me in my browsing tracks.
D. I use Ikea bags for weeds/gardening generally, but this Leaf bag charmed me.
E. Daffodil season is nearly past here, but maybe it could live on with this small daffodil pad….

F. I chased after a cool mom at lacrosse practice for you (and who am I kidding? I chased her down for me, too). Her Nora Gardening clogs paired with navy blue corduroy pants and a cashmere sweater on a particularly chilly Tuesday evening enchanted me.
G. This Zara pull-on skirt was the sole winner in a large late-night order that arrived last week. I’ve worn it three times and gotten lots of compliments. This may be due to the fact that I rarely wear skirts due to being petite, short-waisted, and busty, so naturally, everyone noticed this one. It’s generally not a style that works for me, but it just goes to show you - you never know.
H. I’m from the 1900s sweatshirt. I’m still not sure I get the joke (I had to ask Alex), but since I was born in 1979, I figure the joke’s on everyone. Don’t they know that firstborn daughter, elder Millennial energy is no joking matter at all?!?!
I. A pal sent me this lilacs tote just as my lilacs bloomed.
J. Speaking of spring, I always love Joanna’s fashion scouting.

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I occasionally include affiliate links - typically to products from Etsy, Ebay, 1st Dibs, Bookshop, and yes, sometimes, Amazon. Affiliate links are bolded so you know when I’ve used one. Our most consistent political power comes from exercising our values via our wallets. I’m always thinking about cost, accessibility, and the planet. It’s a work in progress.

I include a few bonus finds here each week for paid subscribers as a small token of appreciation for making this newsletter possible.

This is too niche to be a Just Trust Me, but I couldn’t resist sharing this collection. Don’t you want to know who collected this lobster swag over a lifetime? I like to think whoever it was, they loved to laugh and enjoyed many a lobster roll.

It’s been miserably raw and damp this week; a classic New England spring where the name of the game is layers, layers, layers, and ideally one layer is waterproof, another is wool, and the base layer is a tank top because you never know when you’ll suddenly be sweltering. A friend and I staffed a local road race this morning, and just as the announcer commented on how we were lucky it wasn’t snowing (it may have been sleeting …. there certainly was precipitation), my friend slipped me two hand warmers, and they were a tiny slice of bliss the entire blustery morning. I’ve written before about my competitor’s heart; how even in freezing weather, I love the energy of an early-morning race: the starting line, the finish line, the camaraderie, shared purpose, and togetherness. ✨

This week’s just trust me (gift link)

A. I have crystal clear memories of being enchanted by bleeding hearts in my mother’s garden, and a bleeding heart was the first plant I bought for my own garden. So I was totally enamored when I saw the sculptural work of artist Anamaria Morris, who makes these mobiles. Sadly, currently sold out! But I’m happy to know they exist.
B. I went down a frame rabbit hole and found this striped frame and these marbled mats.
C. This monochromatic frame would make a nice gift, too.
D. I’ve never seen this sort of walnut frame - it almost looks like a tray to me - but love the idea of highlighting a favorite Polaroid this way.
E. And, speaking of wood, my father gave me this cherry cutting board for Christmas, and it’s become one of my favorite things.

F. Soleil is a great independent store in Portland Maine, and one of my favorite places to click around and see what’s new.
G. My love of mesh pouches is unabated. This one, from Zara Home, lets you add custom text for $4. I’ve linked to a few Zara Home finds this week -it’s another of my favorite sites to click around and relax while I take in all the sights.
H. This leather “emergency bag” zippered pouch made me laugh.
I. More zippered goodness.
J. I ordered these washable espadrilles because I somehow always manage to wear espadrilles on a day when it rains (and have ruined a few pairs this way). Still, I had very low expectations given my prior experiences with the brand - but they look and feel really good! Which just goes to show you that it’s always worth trying. They fit true to size. The best part is that the wrap laces are removable (I never have patience for the wrap style!).
K. Some of my best memories are of my dad and me playing Tetris. An evergreen reminder that the best way to connect with your kids or the kids in your life is to simply ask to play with them whatever video game they are into. This Tiny Tetris! is irresistible.
L. You had me at “fluorescent constellations stickers”…
M. I have no need for a doorstop, but if I did, this one feels like fun.

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I occasionally include affiliate links - typically to products from Etsy, Ebay, 1st Dibs, Bookshop, and yes, sometimes, Amazon. Affiliate links are bolded so you know when I’ve used one. Our most consistent political power comes from exercising our values via our wallets. I’m always thinking about cost, accessibility, and the planet. It’s a work in progress.

I include a few bonus finds here each week for paid subscribers as a small token of appreciation for making this newsletter possible.

1. I played this Shut the box Game in Ben’s classroom on Grandparents and Special Friends day this week - a great math game for the 7 and 8 year old set!

2. I love to plan a party, and these Charcuterie Cups caught my eye as a tidy (and hygienic) solution.

3. Delft tile Croissant!

4. Deflt tile Fries!

5. I have freakishly wide hands - most bracelets without a hinge don’t fit over mine - but these bangles do fit and feel nicely substantial and chic. I tried one on as soon as I opened the package tonight and wandered around the house doing various bedtime routines.

We’re driving back from a lacrosse game, listening to Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me! where I learned that holes are disappearing from Swiss cheese (!?). I clicked around and discovered this New Yorker article from 2015 that features commentary from a cheese historian. I love a niche historian, don’t you?

A. I’ve been looking for Ikebana inspiration, and I found a lot.
B. The exhibition that I’ve been working on for months opened last night! One section of the show focuses on the Bicentennial celebrations in 1976. In the course of my research, I came across this bumper sticker, which makes me giggle every time I see it.
C. I love an initial charm.
D. Joy has a habit of returning!
E. I bought three of these benches for work and have been really happy with them. Comfortable without being sloppy.

F. This dress arrived this week, and the fabric is soft and comfortable, the sort of dress that has me excited for summer. I’m 5’ 4” and short-waisted, and I have found Vineyard Vines is often a good source for dresses.
G. Grace Atwood posted this charmer in her Saturday Group Text newsletter.
H. It would look cute inside this jelly tote.
I. This silver crossbody is winking at me.
J. …as are these jeweltone birks.

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If you enjoyed this newsletter, consider clicking the ❤️ button — it really does help other like-minded readers discover my writing (oh, algorithms!).

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I occasionally include affiliate links - typically to products from Etsy, Ebay, 1st Dibs, Bookshop, and yes, sometimes, Amazon. Affiliate links are bolded so you know when I’ve used one. Our most consistent political power comes from exercising our values via our wallets. I’m always thinking about cost, accessibility, and the planet. It’s a work in progress.

I woke up to the sound of rain on our metal roof and felt a surge of happiness. I’m now sitting on the couch with my favorite quilt and Argus by my side. This week was full of odd convergences: deadlines, annual visits to my doctors in NYC, events at school, events at work, visiting family - at one point I glanced at the center console in my car and realized it was covered in overlapping Post-it note reminders, like a personal community bulletin board where each poster competes for attention. But here we are on the other side!

A. I met up with a friend in NYC on Tuesday, and we wandered through Butterfield Market (RIP Dean and Deluca). These chocolate tulips charmed me.

B. All I ever want is to buy all the parrot tulips.
C. My mother-in-law always finds and brings us the most unexpected and wonderful gifts. She brought these birdhouse gourd seeds to plant with Ben. Also, she always brings me fancy napkins, and it is one of many small gestures that make me feel seen and loved (who doesn’t love a fancy napkin!?)
D. One of the events at school this week was a publishing party for Ben’s 2nd Grade - his wonderful teacher had them write their own versions of one of my favorite children’s books - Fortunately. For those of you who haven’t read it, the setup is that good things happen: “fortunately, Ned got invited to a party,” but then bad things happen: “unfortunately, the party was in Florida, and he was in New York.” The kids got so into these stories, and it made me want to bust out my blank books and make a whole series of our own versions.
E. Love an automata! This would make a nice Mother’s Day gift.
F. As would this bright red box.

G. A very chic friend was wearing this Uniqlo dress at a meeting, and I was gobsmacked when she shared it was from Uniqlo. I smashed the add to cart button when I got home. I also added these pink pants to my cart.
H. I saw this on another friend at a lacrosse game, and it is just as great in person as online.
I. A pal sent me a photo of her glorious mint green Moccamaster…
J. A box of 20 chocolate taxis? Yes, please!
K. These Marshmallow tulips look so real.
L. This Chocolate Cow and a slice of pizza!?

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If you enjoyed this newsletter, consider clicking the ❤️ button — it really does help other like-minded readers discover my writing (oh, algorithms!).

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I occasionally include affiliate links - typically to products from Etsy, Ebay, 1st Dibs, Bookshop, and yes, sometimes, Amazon. Affiliate links are bolded so you know when I’ve used one. Our most consistent political power comes from exercising our values via our wallets. I’m always thinking about cost, accessibility, and the planet. It’s a work in progress.

I include a few bonus finds here each week for paid subscribers as a small token of appreciation for making this newsletter possible.

1. Beetles Vase

2. NPR Sweatshirt

3. DIY Candy Sushi

4. A friend looks amazing in this jean jacket.

5. Ben is sitting next to me and exclaimed, “A woven vase for $240 - overpriced!” and he’s right. I found a small version without the glass vase insert for $59. Ben says, “Still overpriced!”

I sat in the sun today; I listened to my kids giggle; I arrived 30 minutes early and luxuriated in the time. A friend made me laugh; I felt seen. The shift in the season is now and what a gift to have made it through another winter.

A. I have a 103-year-old great aunt whom I adore, and she has a zen garden in the wilds of New Hampshire. I was thinking of her and zen gardens today. Zuihō-in Zen Garden
B. It’s daffodil season for real - some of you will remember that the woman who lived in what is now our house for 40 years had a mania for daffodils. Thank you, Fran, for your single-minded devotion to the form. Daffodil Ikebana is on my agenda.
C. As is this Fern Ikebana.
D. I first saw the work of Woods Davy on a trip to Paris fourteen years ago (!? what is time !?) and stumbled on this catalog tonight, and it felt like I had to include it in the newsletter. His Instagram is worth the click, too.
E. This stone keychain charmed me.

F. These Cloud Shoes are winking at me.
G. What pretty Splatter Vases - my daffodils would look good in you.
H. My grandmother had green water goblets. I had a pang of grief tonight thinking of them and her. Green glassware
I. We use Duralex water glasses daily. Maybe these green tumblers are in my future.
J. Gah! I don’t need these, but I want them - and that’s the joy of them. Lily Pads Cocktail Napkins

Subscribe now

I include a few bonus finds here each week for paid subscribers as a small token of appreciation for making this newsletter possible.

1. This is a little random, but this is my favorite pencil that still writes nicely when no longer sharp…

2. Some of you will remember the hunt for house pants … these are a really good pair

3. Speaking of Zen Gardens … a Zen Garden game

4. I ordered these Red espadrilles - I’ll report back.

5. I also ordered this necklace, which seems very summery.

Oops! Something went awry in the depths of the Substack backend, and this newsletter didn’t reach many of you yesterday. Apologies if you are seeing this twice, and to those of you who didn’t receive it — better late than never — enjoy this slightly tardy Monday newsletter!

I first “met” Luisa through her blog, The Wednesday Chef, and, in a way, she is the person who taught me to cook most. Her approach to cooking and writing not only steadied me over the years, but her can-do practicality is one I seek to emulate every day. She writes as she cooks: with warmth, confidence, and a hard-won ease, plus a particularly European je ne sais quoi that never feels forced or fussy.

Despite never having met in “real life,” we’ve been connected for close to twenty years now—long enough that stopping off at the post office to buy an international stamp so my Christmas card can reach her in Berlin has become one of my favorite annual rituals, a sort of cosmic in-joke at the digital ether.

I asked her to tell us about her Good Stuff because she understands that the objects we love, like the recipes we know by heart, are anchors. Her answers below highlight the comfort of ritual, the delights of personal history, and the daily pleasures that make a life.

1. What’s an object you use daily that you’d genuinely miss if it disappeared tomorrow?

My Moccamaster coffee machine. I only started drinking coffee during the pandemic when I was in my early 40s, and now, shocker, I can’t imagine life without it. It took me a year or two to figure out that I prefer filter coffee to Italian moka coffee. That’s when we bought this machine secondhand and became completely obsessed. It’s so fast and foolproof, it makes delicious coffee (I am the kind of person who now has a favorite coffee brand) and it’s easy on the eyes. I, someone who cannot even bring myself to remember a daily supplement regularly, am even diligent about descaling and cleaning it every time I finish a box of coffee filters. Genuinely something I would miss if I didn’t have.

Abbey: I also have this exact Moccamaster and adore it - it truly makes a better cup of coffee. I love that you clean it every time you finish a box of filters - I’m going to adopt the same.

2. What’s an object in your life that has an interesting previous owner, history, or origin story?

When I turned 30, my mother gave me a ring she had made with a cabochon stone she salvaged from the clasp of a necklace she’d inherited from a rather forbidding paternal great-aunt with whom she’d lived as a child. The ring itself was made by my mother’s wonderful, hilarious, and incredibly elegant maternal cousin, who was the creative director of a famous Italian jewelry company until his untimely death from a flu contracted on a business trip to buy semi-precious stones in Tucson. It’s an heirloom in more ways than one and incredibly special to me.

Abbey: This kind of layering of personal history resonates so deeply for me. I’m considering putting together an exhibition on grief and grieving at the small museum where I work - we have an incredible collection of mourning jewelry for one - but it’s just this sort of story and object that I want to include - how we remember and celebrate those who came before us.

3. What’s something in your apartment right now that makes you smile when you see it?

There are lots of corners of my apartment that make me happy; I’m obsessed with the ongoing task of making every room sing, as my queen Beata Heuman exhorts us to do. But right now our front hallway is really doing it for me: The painting is by Peter Schmiedel and was given to me by a family friend whose husband collected Schmiedel’s work. I bought the Art Déco brass lamp for a song on eBay ages ago. It had this hideously grimy pleated shade that we endured for years before I had the pale green silk shade (with deep purple trim!) made by a fantastic lampshade workshop near my apartment in Berlin. (What you can’t see is a chandelier from that same Roman great-aunt that was formerly getting lost in a different room and now makes so much more sense in the hallway, and a Thonet-style bright red bentwood coat rack that was my greatest thrifting coup of the past six months.)

Abbey: GASP! To have a Roman great-aunt. Swoon! Also, that lampshade workshop. Double swoon.

4. What’s an object you’ve held onto longer than makes practical sense, and why?

Anyone with ADHD will recognize the doom piles that those of us with this affliction live with. The doom pile that gives me the most anxiety is the one made up of over ten years of my children’s drawings, doodles, birthday cards, homework assignments with just the right amount of humor and whimsy, and other detritus, plus two oversized, color-coded folders (one for each son) that I intend to store all the papers in. My rational self knows I can probably throw away 80% of it, but the rest of me is incapable of doing more than just moving this pile from room to room. Have I mentioned that this has been going on FOR OVER A DECADE? Right now, The Pile has taken up residence on my younger’s son’s window sill. This may be the key to solving it: My German husband who is obsessed with “lüften” (the daily airing of the apartment) is being driven mad by the fact that he can no longer open this window and my fervent hope is that his madness will make him deal with the doom pile so I don’t have to.

Abbey: Truly, the artwork struggle is real. I have similar (but much larger) piles in plastic bins in my basement. A mentor of mine handled this problem by making videos of her children holding the artwork and explaining it - and then she threw away the artwork but made a montage of the videos. I bought two of these frames one 8.5 by 11 and the other 11 by 17 and have been mostly happy to at least have the artwork “out of the way.”

Bonus Q:

A recipe I make weekly with my eyes closed is pasta sauce made with canned fish and tomato. Start by, in a medium saucepan, cooking a slivered onion in a good amount of olive oil with a pinch of salt and red pepper flakes until softened and fragrant, but not brown, about 8 minutes. Scrape in canned tuna or sardines or mackerel (1-2 cans for 4-6 eaters) and combine well, breaking the fish apart and letting it meld with the onions. After a few minutes, add canned tomatoes (I like Mutti Polpa if you can find it) and stir well. Bring to a simmer, then lower the heat and cover. Let simmer while you bring salted pasta water to a boil. Add some drained capers and slivered olives to the sauce (high quality, please, nothing canned or dyed - I like Kalamata here, or oil-cured shriveled black olives) and continue to simmer. When the pasta (I mostly use spaghetti for this sauce) has finished cooking, drain it, saving some pasta water, and toss with the sauce. Loosen with starchy pasta water, if necessary. To really gild the lily, if your children permit it, top with chopped parsley.

YUM! Thank you, Luisa!

A. I’ve finally brought back a Daily Dose of Green as a stand-alone Substack.
B. A few bonus doses here, here, and here (all three coming up for sale soon!)
C. Gah! I never saw a wooden egg I didn’t covet. On the wishlist.
D. I stumbled across this book at a Barnes and Noble in FL and immediately ordered it for my mom, who has been loving it.
E. My mother-in-law sent me a honking box of dahlia tubers from Eden Brothers for Christmas, which just arrived this week. THRILLING! I was clicking around their website this evening, and these poppies made me gasp.

F. Ben fell in love with this puzzle in a store, and I snuck it into his Easter basket this year.
G. It’s hard to truly delight teenagers at Easter, but I’m giving it my best shot. Also, sorry in advance to my husband, who can’t stand slime. Needs must and all that.
H. Who doesn’t love a minifig? Everyone got a few in their Easter basket this year.
I. I can’t tell you how often I’m grateful for our eye rinse (which we use with contact solution). Reached for it twice this week.
J. Finally, this ADHD sleep music has been a godsend in this house.

I occasionally include affiliate links - typically to products from Etsy, Ebay, 1st Dibs, Bookshop, Wayfair, and yes, sometimes, Amazon. Affiliate links are bolded so you know when I’ve used one. Our most consistent political power comes from exercising our values via our wallets. I’m always thinking about cost, accessibility, and the planet. It’s a work in progress.

Leave a comment

If you enjoyed this newsletter, consider clicking the ❤️ button — it really does help other like-minded readers discover my writing (oh, algorithms!).

Subscribe now

I include a few bonus finds here each week for paid subscribers as a small token of appreciation for making this newsletter possible.

1. A report on the Tevas I shared last week - they arrived, I loved them, wore them to work on the first hot day. I felt like a veritable goddess, but by the end of the day, the strings were cutting into my feet - not uncomfortable exactly, but a little disappointing. I’ll wear it with dresses this summer for a casual dinner or when I want that goddess vibe, but not as an all-day wear.

2. I snagged this screen patching kit after sitting on our porch this week - porch season is almost on us!

3. After reading this article last week, I ordered the grip strength measure - the whole family got into it.

Oops! I accidentally sent the newsletter only to paid subscribers yesterday. Better late than never—enjoy this slightly tardy edition!

I first “met” Luisa through her blog The Wednesday Chef, and in a way, she is the person who most taught me how to cook. Her approach to cooking and writing not only steadied me over the years, but her can-do practicality is one I seek to emulate every day. She writes as she cooks: with warmth, confidence, and a hard-won ease, plus a particularly European je ne sais quoi that never feels forced or fussy.

Despite never having met in “real life,” we’ve been connected for close to twenty years now—long enough that stopping off at the post office to buy an international stamp so my Christmas card can reach her in Berlin has become one of my favorite annual rituals, a sort of cosmic in-joke at the digital ether.

I asked her to tell us about her Good Stuff because she understands that the objects we love, like the recipes we know by heart, are anchors. Her answers below highlight the comfort of ritual, the delights of personal history, and the daily pleasures that make a life.

1. What’s an object you use daily that you’d genuinely miss if it disappeared tomorrow?

My Moccamaster coffee machine. I only started drinking coffee during the pandemic when I was in my early 40s, and now, shocker, I can’t imagine life without it. It took me a year or two to figure out that I prefer filter coffee to Italian moka coffee. That’s when we bought this machine secondhand and became completely obsessed. It’s so fast and foolproof, it makes delicious coffee (I am the kind of person who now has a favorite coffee brand) and it’s easy on the eyes. I, someone who cannot even bring myself to remember a daily supplement regularly, am even diligent about descaling and cleaning it every time I finish a box of coffee filters. Genuinely something I would miss if I didn’t have.

Abbey: I also have this exact Moccamaster and adore it - it truly makes a better cup of coffee. I love that you clean it every time you finish a box of filters - I’m going to adopt the same.

2. What’s an object in your life that has an interesting previous owner, history, or origin story?

When I turned 30, my mother gave me a ring she had made with a cabochon stone she salvaged from the clasp of a necklace she’d inherited from a rather forbidding paternal great-aunt with whom she’d lived as a child. The ring itself was made by my mother’s wonderful, hilarious, and incredibly elegant maternal cousin, who was the creative director of a famous Italian jewelry company until his untimely death from a flu contracted on a business trip to buy semi-precious stones in Tucson. It’s an heirloom in more ways than one and incredibly special to me.

Abbey: This kind of layering of personal history resonates so deeply for me. I’m considering putting together an exhibition on grief and grieving at the small museum where I work - we have an incredible collection of mourning jewelry for one - but it’s just this sort of story and object that I want to include - how we remember and celebrate those who came before us.

3. What’s something in your apartment right now that makes you smile when you see it?

There are lots of corners of my apartment that make me happy; I’m obsessed with the ongoing task of making every room sing, as my queen Beata Heuman exhorts us to do. But right now our front hallway is really doing it for me: The painting is by Peter Schmiedel and was given to me by a family friend whose husband collected Schmiedel’s work. I bought the Art Déco brass lamp for a song on eBay ages ago. It had this hideously grimy pleated shade that we endured for years before I had the pale green silk shade (with deep purple trim!) made by a fantastic lampshade workshop near my apartment in Berlin. (What you can’t see is a chandelier from that same Roman great-aunt that was formerly getting lost in a different room and now makes so much more sense in the hallway, and a Thonet-style bright red bentwood coat rack that was my greatest thrifting coup of the past six months.)

Abbey: GASP! To have a Roman great-aunt. Swoon! Also, that lampshade workshop. Double swoon.

4. What’s an object you’ve held onto longer than makes practical sense, and why?

Anyone with ADHD will recognize the doom piles that those of us with this affliction live with. The doom pile that gives me the most anxiety is the one made up of over ten years of my children’s drawings, doodles, birthday cards, homework assignments with just the right amount of humor and whimsy, and other detritus, plus two oversized, color-coded folders (one for each son) that I intend to store all the papers in. My rational self knows I can probably throw away 80% of it, but the rest of me is incapable of doing more than just moving this pile from room to room. Have I mentioned that this has been going on FOR OVER A DECADE? Right now, The Pile has taken up residence on my younger’s son’s window sill. This may be the key to solving it: My German husband who is obsessed with “lüften” (the daily airing of the apartment) is being driven mad by the fact that he can no longer open this window and my fervent hope is that his madness will make him deal with the doom pile so I don’t have to.

Abbey: Truly, the artwork struggle is real. I have similar (but much larger) piles in plastic bins in my basement. A mentor of mine handled this problem by making videos of her children holding the artwork and explaining it - and then she threw away the artwork but made a montage of the videos. I bought two of these frames one 8.5 by 11 and the other 11 by 17 and have been mostly happy to at least have the artwork “out of the way.”

Bonus Q:

A recipe I make weekly with my eyes closed is pasta sauce made with canned fish and tomato. Start by, in a medium saucepan, cooking a slivered onion in a good amount of olive oil with a pinch of salt and red pepper flakes until softened and fragrant, but not brown, about 8 minutes. Scrape in canned tuna or sardines or mackerel (1-2 cans for 4-6 eaters) and combine well, breaking the fish apart and letting it meld with the onions. After a few minutes, add canned tomatoes (I like Mutti Polpa if you can find it) and stir well. Bring to a simmer, then lower the heat and cover. Let simmer while you bring salted pasta water to a boil. Add some drained capers and slivered olives to the sauce (high quality, please, nothing canned or dyed - I like Kalamata here, or oil-cured shriveled black olives) and continue to simmer. When the pasta (I mostly use spaghetti for this sauce) has finished cooking, drain it, saving some pasta water, and toss with the sauce. Loosen with starchy pasta water, if necessary. To really gild the lily, if your children permit it, top with chopped parsley.

YUM! Thank you, Luisa!

A. I’ve finally brought back a Daily Dose of Green as a stand-alone Substack.
B. A few bonus doses here, here, and here (all three coming up for sale soon!)
C. Gah! I never saw a wooden egg I didn’t covet. On the wishlist.
D. I stumbled across this book at a Barnes and Noble in FL and immediately ordered it for my mom, who has been loving it.
E. My mother-in-law sent me a honking box of dahlia tubers from Eden Brothers for Christmas, which just arrived this week. THRILLING! I was clicking around their website this evening, and these poppies made me gasp.

F. Ben fell in love with this puzzle in a store, and I snuck it into his Easter basket this year.
G. It’s hard to truly delight teenagers at Easter, but I’m giving it my best shot. Also, sorry in advance to my husband, who can’t stand slime. Needs must and all that.
H. Who doesn’t love a minifig? Everyone got a few in their Easter basket this year.
I. I can’t tell you how often I’m grateful for our eye rinse (which we use with contact solution). Reached for it twice this week.
J. Finally, this ADHD sleep music has been a godsend in this house.

I occasionally include affiliate links - typically to products from Etsy, Ebay, 1st Dibs, Bookshop, Wayfair, and yes, sometimes, Amazon. Affiliate links are bolded so you know when I’ve used one. Our most consistent political power comes from exercising our values via our wallets. I’m always thinking about cost, accessibility, and the planet. It’s a work in progress.

Leave a comment

If you enjoyed this newsletter, consider clicking the ❤️ button — it really does help other like-minded readers discover my writing (oh, algorithms!).

Subscribe now

I include a few bonus finds here each week for paid subscribers as a small token of appreciation for making this newsletter possible.

1. A report on the Tevas I shared last week - they arrived, I loved them, wore them to work on the first hot day. I felt like a veritable goddess, but by the end of the day, the strings were cutting into my feet - not uncomfortable exactly, but a little disappointing. I’ll wear it with dresses this summer for a casual dinner or when I want that goddess vibe, but not as an all-day wear.

2. I snagged this screen patching kit after sitting on our porch this week - porch season is almost on us!

3. After reading this article last week, I ordered the grip strength measure - the whole family got into it.