i really encourage you all to study this surah, or any surah; to just immerse yourself in the study of the Quran and to let that be the centre of your life for a bit.

anyways, this essay will focus on the things that stuck with me the most from this profound surah, many of which are inspired by nouman ali khan. i am not presenting these reflections as tafsir or definitive explanations of the ayaat; these are simply my reflections. i cannot express just how beautiful this experience was, getting to understand how the ayaat are woven together and learning the meanings of all of the words; it was genuinely the highlight of my summer and it grounded me in ways i cannot explain. also as someone who is constantly staring at the skies, this gave stargazing a whole new meaning, subhanallah !

i highly encourage you to read the surah (with the translation) before reading my reflections and to ponder with me and to pause & think when you feel inclined to.

this surah is a meccan one, meaning the main audience were the polytheists of the quraish. this surah in particular had a remarkable affect on their hearts, upon hearing these ayaat, they all went down in sajda. which is interesting because there is an actual sajda at the end of this very surah. they were so frustrated that the Quran impacted them the way it did, that they attempted to make up rumours and lies to cover their obvious acts of submission to Allah’s word.

the pleiades

i would like to first reflect on the stars, what they symbolize, and how the first ayah ties the whole surah together.

the first ayah is: “by the stars that fall” [وَٱلنَّجْمِ إِذَا هَوَىٰ] 53:1

the word used for falling is [هوى], which essentially means something that rises and falls. this is the same word that is used in the third ayah [وَمَا يَنطِقُ عَنِ ٱلْهَوَىٰٓ] to describe desire, specifically substance-less, superficial desire that fluctuates a lot. it’s also the word used for wind, i am sure you get the underlying idea.

now to truly understand this ayah, we need to turn to the arab poetry of the time. we can then know that “the star” [an-najm] is a term often used to refer to a specific constellation, the pleiades. the arabs used this constellation as a tool to know when summer and winter would arrive; specifically, the pleiades would be at the highest point of the sky during winter and it would move down the horizon as dawn approached. during summer, pleiades would only be spotted right before dawn in the eastern sky, for a few short moments, until the sun rose and illuminated the horizon. the movement of pleiades i just described is unique to the meccan sky, and this was common knowledge amongst the arabs by the way!

a new season

now we know that the falling of the stars symbolizes a change of seasons, similar to how the coming of the Prophet (saw) marked a change of seasons. it marked the beginning of the last time Allah sent down revelation to humankind, the coming down of the mercy, guidance, and healing that is the Quran. interestingly enough, the next ayaat speak about the legitimacy of Mohammed’s (saw) prophethood:

مَا ضَلَّ صَاحِبُكُمْ وَمَا غَوَىٰ

وَمَا يَنطِقُ عَنِ ٱلْهَوَىٰٓ

Your companion [the Prophet (saw)] has not strayed; he is not deluded

he does not speak from his own desire.

53:2-53:3

the mighty angel

that is then directly tied to the legitimacy of the revelation, as the next ayaat speak so eloquently of the Quran and the process that it was sent down by. it specifically talks about the first encounter between the Prophet (saw) and Jibreel (as), the one that occurred in this world. they describe the angel Jibreel (as) with such high regard and emphasize the closeness between Jibreel (as) and the Prophet (saw), almost as to say that there is no way it was sent down by mistake to Mohammed (saw), there is no way that a contradiction could be found in the revelation; elevating the status of the Prophet (saw) in a way us humans could never.

إِنْ هُوَ إِلَّا وَحْىٌۭ يُوحَىٰ

عَلَّمَهُۥ شَدِيدُ ٱلْقُوَىٰ

ذُو مِرَّةٍۢ فَٱسْتَوَىٰ

وَهُوَ بِٱلْأُفُقِ ٱلْأَعْلَىٰ

ثُمَّ دَنَا فَتَدَلَّىٰ

فَكَانَ قَابَ قَوْسَيْنِ أَوْ أَدْنَىٰ

فَأَوْحَىٰٓ إِلَىٰ عَبْدِهِۦ مَآ أَوْحَىٰ

The Quran is nothing less than a revelation that is sent to him.

It was taught to him by [an angel] with mighty powers

and great strength, who stood

on the highest horizon

and then approached––coming down

until he was two bow-lengths away or even closer––

and revealed to God’s servant what He revealed.

53:4-53:10

notice that the movement of Jibreel (as) resembles the nature of pleiades during winter.

according to classical tafseer, specifically imam razi, the ayah about the bows could be further understood by learning about arab tribal customs. when two tribes pledged allegiance to each other, it was custom to take one bow from each leader and stack them on top of each other. this ritual symbolized that they were now one, they now fought for each other, defended each other, and celebrated each other; as if they were actually one tribe.

subhanallah why would Allah describe their closeness in this way, what is He conveying through this ayah?

the covered lote tree

then the surah goes on to describe the second encounter between Jibreel (as) and the Prophet (saw), the one that occurred during Al-Miraj [the ascension] when Mohammed (saw) was travelling through the levels of Jannah.

وَلَقَدْ رَءَاهُ نَزْلَةً أُخْرَىٰ

عِندَ سِدْرَةِ ٱلْمُنتَهَىٰ

عِندَهَا جَنَّةُ ٱلْمَأْوَىٰٓ

إِذْ يَغْشَى ٱلسِّدْرَةَ مَا يَغْشَىٰ

مَا زَاغَ ٱلْبَصَرُ وَمَا طَغَىٰ

A second time he saw him

by the lote tree beyond which none may pass

near the Garden of Restfulness,

when the tree was covered in nameless [splendour]

His sight never wavered, nor was it too bold

53:13-53:17

notice that the imagery described here resembles pleiades pre summer; the lote tree was covered just as the stars were covered by the sunlight. our sight may waver when looking at the sun but the Prophet’s (saw) sight never did when he was looking at whatever covered the lote tree.

saqib hussain (whose paper is cited at the end) argues that the movement of pleiades act as a parallel to the two encounters between the Prophet (saw) and Jibreel (as) described shortly after; the one in this world and the one in the heavens. perhaps the purpose of this was to establish a connection between a celestial reality that the majority of mecca was familiar with to a spiritual phenomenon. so that every time an arab looked at the skies, he would be reminded of the revelation, he would be reminded of his Creator.

the brightest light, the lost scriptures, and the destroyed nations

another reflection from the stars can be made when we relate it to a repeated metaphor found in the Quran, which is the mention of light to describe the prophet (saw) and the Quran itself.

interestingly enough, in one passage, the Prophet (saw) is described using the same word [siraj] that describes the sun in another surah.

وَدَاعِيًا إِلَى ٱللَّهِ بِإِذْنِهِۦ وَسِرَاجًۭا مُّنِيرًۭا

and a caller to ˹the Way of˺ Allah by His command, and a beacon of light.

33:46

تَبَارَكَ ٱلَّذِى جَعَلَ فِى ٱلسَّمَآءِ بُرُوجًۭا وَجَعَلَ فِيهَا سِرَٰجًۭا وَقَمَرًۭا مُّنِيرًۭا

Exalted is He who put constellations in the heavens, a radiant light, and an illuminating moon-

25:61

the last Prophet (saw) sent to humanity carries a light that is so remarkably bright it consumes the entire horizon, quite similar to the sun. whereas the other stars only illuminate the sky slightly and only in the darkness of the night. perhaps these other stars symbolize all the other revelation Allah sent down that were corrupted, lost, and destroyed by the desires of civilization. this is directly related to the end of the surah, when Allah mentions the early scriptures of Musa (as) and Ibrahim (as):

أَمْ لَمْ يُنَبَّأْ بِمَا فِى صُحُفِ مُوسَىٰ

وَإِبْرَٰهِيمَ ٱلَّذِى وَفَّىٰٓ

Has he not been told what was written in the Scriptures of Moses

and of Abraham, who fulfilled his duty:

53:36-53:37

then shortly after, Allah talks about the most ancient of civilizations that He destroyed:

وَأَنَّهُۥٓ أَهْلَكَ عَادًا ٱلْأُولَىٰ

وَثَمُودَا۟ فَمَآ أَبْقَىٰ

وَقَوْمَ نُوحٍۢ مِّن قَبْلُ ۖ إِنَّهُمْ كَانُوا۟ هُمْ أَظْلَمَ وَأَطْغَىٰ

that it was He who destroyed, in their entirety, ancient 'Ad

and ˹then˺ Thamûd, sparing no one.

And before them, the people of Noah, for that they were (all) most unjust and most insolent transgressors

53:50-53:52

sirius, the ancient world, and the cure for shirk

right before He lists all the previous nations, He mentions another star: sirius.

وَأَنَّهُۥ هُوَ رَبُّ ٱلشِّعْرَىٰ

that He is the Lord of Sirius;

53:49

it’s interesting right? through my study, i learned that sirius has played a significant role in the history of many civilizations. it was worshiped by many due to its remarkable brightness in the night sky, inspiring mythology and spiritual practices across the ancient world. even more so, ancient temples are being discovered that arguably point in the direction of sirius, including the pyramids. Allah is saying HE is the Lord of this star, just like He is the Lord of everything. He is debasing shirk at a global level with this simple, yet profound phrase. subhanallah.

a recurring pattern found in this surah is the dismissal of shirk at multiple levels: the arabian peninsula, the ancient world through sirius; and finally, specific examples through previous nations that were sent prophets.

whether shirk was facilitated through angels, idols, stars, or following one’s shallow desire, this theme is echoed from beginning to end. at the he heart of this surah is an ayah that nouman calls the antidote against spiritual shirk—a type of shirk that i believe is present no matter what the object of polytheism happens to be.

ٱلَّذِينَ يَجْتَنِبُونَ كَبَـٰٓئِرَ ٱلْإِثْمِ وَٱلْفَوَٰحِشَ إِلَّا ٱللَّمَمَ ۚ إِنَّ رَبَّكَ وَٰسِعُ ٱلْمَغْفِرَةِ ۚ هُوَ أَعْلَمُ بِكُمْ إِذْ أَنشَأَكُم مِّنَ ٱلْأَرْضِ وَإِذْ أَنتُمْ أَجِنَّةٌۭ فِى بُطُونِ أُمَّهَـٰتِكُمْ ۖ فَلَا تُزَكُّوٓا۟ أَنفُسَكُمْ ۖ هُوَ أَعْلَمُ بِمَنِ ٱتَّقَىٰٓ

those who avoid major sins and shameful deeds, despite ˹stumbling on˺ minor sins. Surely your Lord is infinite in forgiveness. He knew well what would become of you as He created you from the earth and while you were ˹still˺ fetuses in the wombs of your mothers. So do not ˹falsely˺ elevate yourselves. He knows best who is ˹truly˺ righteous.

53:32

Allah is infinite in His forgiveness.

Allah knows you, He knows everything little thing about you.

that’s it.

there is no need to worship stars, angels, or idols. there is no need to rely purely on intercession and treat it independently of Allah’s judgment; the doors of Allah are always open and you can just seek forgiveness for yourself.

and think about it, no one truly knows everything about us.

imagine if they did.

do you think people would be as forgiving and kind to you if they knew the deepest, darkest, and ugliest parts of who you are?

Allah knows it all, and STILL He is telling you that His forgiveness is vast. He is telling you to return to Him. how beautiful is that?

i leave you with some contrasting observations i have made that i really encourage you to ponder on:

the angels in this surah sent down the greatest revelation, were the objects of shirk in the arab peninsula, and destroyed the mightiest nations. it is Allah who decides what His angels facilitate, whether it is overwhelming mercy or painful punishment.

the arabs worshipped angels so they may intercede on their behalf in front of Allah. notice the distinction between putting your hopes in intercession versus relying on Allah’s vast forgiveness.

how Allah uses the stars to symbolize both the greatest gift given to humanity and the ugliest acts of free will, simultaneously.

this is the end of part one of reflections on surah al-najm, inshallah part two will come out soon and will focus on general themes of the surah that are of great importance to every muslim. thank you so much for reflecting with me, may Allah reward you.

whatever i have said that is right is from Allah and anything wrong is from me. may Allah forgive us all.

if you are interested in spotting the pleiades:

find the three bright stars in a row: this is orion’s belt.

look for the four bright stars surrounding the belt.

find betelgeuse: look for the reddish star at one corner of orion.

now look across from betelgeuse, following the direction of orion’s belt. you’ll find aldebaran, another bright, orange-red star outside orion.

once you’ve found aldebaran, keep going in the same direction. a little farther on, you’ll find a small, tightly packed cluster of stars: the pleiades.

and sirius:

follow the direction of the belt beyond orion, drawing an imaginary line through the constellation.

you’ll eventually find sirius, the brightest star in the night sky.

references

to learn more about pleiades and how its movement relates to the content of this surah:

Hussain, Saqib. “The Prophet’s Visions in Sūrat al-Najm.” Journal of the International Qur’anic Studies Association, vol. 5, no. 1, 2020, pp. 97–132

to learn more about the bow & arab tribal customs:

Fakhr al-Dīn al-Rāzī, Mafātīḥ al-Ghayb, commentary on Qur'an 53:9.

to learn more about sirius and its role in ancient egyptian civilization:

Deif, Assem. “The Sirius Lore.” Mediterranean Archaeology and Archaeometry, 8(1), 2008, pp. 1–8

This past year I became more invested in studying the Quran, alhamdulillah. As a clinical psychology major, I initially thought that the study of the Quran and my university education would be two different worlds, that they would engage completely different parts of my brain. However, I slowly realized just how beautifully they are woven together. I began to link many concepts from the Quran to what I was learning in my classes, which was and continues to be a breathtaking, eye opening experience that I am so grateful for.

The field of psychology is an ever changing one, theories are rising, developing, and being reformulated in a nearly continuous fashion. As an introductory foundation, I had to learn about the most popular schools of psychology; including the premises of each one, its history, and the counselling theories it supported.

From Psychoanalytic Theory, to Cognitivism, to Behaviourism, to Evolutionary Psychology; I kept wondering where does the Quran fit in?

Obviously, the Quran's narrative cannot be rightfully summarized by simply placing a modern label on it; that would be a grave injustice. I am just interested in understanding the Quran through this specific lens and this was what led me to write this essay.

I came to the conclusion that humanistic psychology is the closest ideology to the Islamic way of understanding; however, it’s not fully aligned with Quranic principles as it fails to place our relationship with our Creator at the centre of human flourishing. This essay will explore the fundamentals of humanistic psychology in contrast with the conceptual parallels found in our Islamic tradition.

Humanistic Theory: Responsibility & Free Will

Humanistic theory places strong emphasis on awareness, free will, authenticity, and self actualization. Unlike other theories that reduce human behaviour to a single factor and put individuals solely at the mercy of childhood experiences, environment, genetics, or cognitive processes; humanistic psychology claims that personal responsibility and freedom override all of those external influences. The burden of cultivating a meaningful, purposeful life is placed on the individual alone. This is quite similar to a fundamental Quranic teaching:

وَأَن لَّيْسَ لِلْإِنسَـٰنِ إِلَّا مَا سَعَىٰ

That each person can have nothing but what he strives for

53:39

But there is another crucial dimension of this concept, captured in the next ayaat:

وَأَنَّ سَعْيَهُۥ سَوْفَ يُرَىٰ

ثُمَّ يُجْزَىٰهُ ٱلْجَزَآءَ ٱلْأَوْفَىٰ

وَأَنَّ إِلَىٰ رَبِّكَ ٱلْمُنتَهَىٰ

that his labour will be seen

and that in the end he will be repaid in full for it;

that the final goal is your Lord;

53:40-53:42

Our striving will not always be recognized in this world, some of it might go completely unnoticed; and that’s okay because our efforts will ultimately be seen by Allah. These ayaat form the basis of living completely for Allah, requiring only His recognition, and knowing that the Creator’s reward is far greater than any validation from the creation.

Allah is liberating us from chasing approval that will never suffice, He is taking that burden off our shoulders altogether, and He gives meaning to our striving that goes beyond subjective expectations.

Self Actualization

Self actualization is a major concept in this field and is regarded as the ultimate objective for human existence. Self actualization is simply becoming aware of and fulfilling your potential as an individual; manifesting as self growth, authenticity, and achievement that serves the community.

This notion of living up to the potential that Allah has honoured us with and using it to help our Ummah is something already found in our Islamic teachings. Think of all the scholars, scientists, jurists, and warriors that devoted their entire lives to Islam, how we benefit from their profound contributions to this day.

One could say they reached self actualization, but it is important to make the distinction that they did so within the boundaries set by Allah.

For us muslims, self actualization is not an objective in and of itself; rather it’s a byproduct of fulfilling our true purpose: worshipping Allah.

Which could be precisely why our early tradition is filled with so many outstanding figures, as those generations were the closest to the Prophet (saw), they held on to the word of Allah; which was their blueprint, their lens, and the very thing through which they became successful.

It is through appreciating Allah’s presence in our lives that we may reach self actualization in a meaningful, grounded way. As the true appreciation of Allah entails following his divine guidance and doing that which pleases Him. Following the Quranic pathway for self actualization acts as a protective barrier against arrogance, pride, and self righteousness; all of which could naturally develop as a result of worldly success.

Self actualization is morally neutral, as the standards for reaching one’s potential aren’t accompanied by any ethical guidelines. Islam provides the moral framework and gives us a more comprehensive understanding of what becoming our best selves actually looks like. Because think about it, from a humanistic standpoint I could argue both Pharaoh and Mohammed (saw) reached self actualization; both statements could be true. Defining self actualization without any moral outlines leads to a blurry definition of success. Allah out of His mercy, clearly defined our purpose free of ambiguity.

Humanistic Therapy

The therapeutic method supported by humanistic psychology states that the therapist doesn’t attempt to change the client in any direct way, nor do they explain their past traumas to them. The main job of the therapist in this scenario is to simply create the conditions in which the client changes themselves, which is done through empathy and unconditional positive regard. Essentially, the therapist empowers the individuals to cultivate change in their own lives.

When I learned this, immediately this ayah popped in my mind:

إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ لَا يُغَيِّرُ مَا بِقَوْمٍ حَتَّىٰ يُغَيِّرُوا۟ مَا بِأَنفُسِهِمْ

Allah would never change a people’s state ˹of favour˺ until they change their own state ˹of faith˺.

13:11

This is something I have seen repeatedly during my studies, some of the most effective therapeutic methods often mirror the way Allah treats us. Subhanallah.

However, I think changing yourself is just the first step not the entire process as humanistic therapy claims. As the ayah implies, we must ultimately depend on our Rabb for true transformation. This completely redefines the situation as anchoring ourselves with a higher being, specifically The Most Merciful and The Most Wise, relieves us of the burden of figuring everything out on our own. This is where humanistic theory begins to lose its alignment with Islam as it places too much emphasis on the individual when it comes to cultivating change, failing to acknowledge an external force that may make the process easier.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

One of the frameworks utilized by humanistic therapists in order to explain human behaviour is Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, which proposes that certain needs take priority over others. Often illustrated as a pyramid, this hierarchy of needs is commonly depicted as sequential; meaning in order to fulfill higher ranking tiers, one would have to meet the needs of every tier below it.

The lowest rank is physiological necessities, followed by the need for safety, the desire for belonging, the need for self esteem, and the highest ranking tier: self actualization.

According to humanistic psychology, an individual progresses from one level to another and that is ultimately what drives their behaviour at any given moment.

I think Maslow correctly identified these needs but I personally believe this pyramid would collapse and blur in the face of any hardship.

Surah Al-Baqarah

This blueprint for surviving hardship, the one given to us by our loving Creator is perfectly summarized in Surah Al-Baqarah:

وَلَنَبْلُوَنَّكُم بِشَىْءٍۢ مِّنَ ٱلْخَوْفِ وَٱلْجُوعِ وَنَقْصٍۢ مِّنَ ٱلْأَمْوَٰلِ وَٱلْأَنفُسِ وَٱلثَّمَرَٰتِ ۗ وَبَشِّرِ ٱلصَّـٰبِرِينَ

ٱلَّذِينَ إِذَآ أَصَـٰبَتْهُم مُّصِيبَةٌۭ قَالُوٓا۟ إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّآ إِلَيْهِ رَٰجِعُونَ

أُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ عَلَيْهِمْ صَلَوَٰتٌۭ مِّن رَّبِّهِمْ وَرَحْمَةٌۭ ۖ وَأُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلْمُهْتَدُونَ

We shall certainly test you with fear and hunger, and loss of property, lives, and crops. But [Prophet], give good news to those who are patient,

those who say, when afflicted with a calamity, ‘We belong to God and to Him we shall return.’

These will be given blessings and mercy from their Lord, and it is they who are rightly guided.

2:155-2:157

Notice that the first ayah mentions almost half of the needs that Maslow included in his pyramid; and Allah is saying that certainly, without a doubt, you will experience a time where one of these needs aren’t fulfilled. This is beyond comforting because the concept of hardship in western psychology is often so superficial, it’s depicted as if you are doing something wrong if you experience problems of any kind. Whereas Allah clearly says that hardship is normal, it is a promised feature of living in this dunya, it’s not a sign that Allah hates you; in fact, it may be a sign of His love instead.

The good news given to those who embody patience during hardship is captured in the verb بشِّر. This word has the same root as بشرة [skin], بشر [humanity, characterized by skin free of fur], and مباشر [directly, skin to skin]. Keeping this linguistic pattern in mind, the good news mentioned in this ayah can carry a secondary meaning of altering the facial expression of those receiving it; it is the type of news that makes you smile in a giddy way you cannot hide.

The contrast between the certainty of the calamity and the impact of the glad tidings is one that deserves a moment of contemplation. Allah doesn’t say that self actualization is impossible simply because one need isn’t met; rather, He gives us an alternative pathway to self actualization characterized by patience. Allah is giving us a guaranteed formula for not mere survival but success during calamity, success that encompasses both this world and the next, success that makes us so happy we cannot possibly hide it.

The specific word used for calamity here is مصيبة, its root word is صوّب which is a verb used for an arrow that hits its exact target. From this root, we also get the word صواب, which means correct or true. The linguistic theme echoed in مصيبة is a calamity that has been chosen for you so precisely, so intricately; it’s not chaos and confusion but rather the infinite wisdom and mercy of your Rabb. This adds another layer of comfort as the implications of this word entails that Allah has chosen your hardships with so much precision, taking into account your unique capacity, circumstances, and abilities. He knows your quietest struggle, He knows the battles you are fighting, and He knows how hard it all is.

Allah continues to build this framework for how to thrive during hardship in the next ayah, He gives us something practical that all of us can do; a simple yet profound phrase that should never part our tongues:

‘We belong to God and to Him we shall return.’

The implications of this statement essentially build the worldview that we Muslims should have, especially during hardship. First, anything that we lose was never ours in the first place; whether it’s money, a loved one, a job, an opportunity, or the very heartbeat that sustains us. They all belong to Allah alone, and it is Allah that manages all of our affairs in the way He sees fit. Second, everything will eventually return to its Owner, death is inevitable, and the day of resurrection signifies our collective return to Allah. If one were to say these words and truly live by them, it would manifest as detachment from this dunya and attachment to Allah alone; a soul anchored by these beliefs wouldn’t shake so easily in the face of hardship. This also adds a sense of predictability that further comforts a troubled heart, one that transforms loss from mere pain to Allah simply fulfilling His promise.

At the end of this passage, Allah lists the specific rewards of those who display patience during calamity; those who, in the face hardship know that whatever they may lose was never theirs in the first place; those who are so detached from this world as they know they will soon return to their Rabb.

They receive blessings [صلوات] from Allah and His angels, mercy [رحمة], and they get termed the guided ones [المهتدون].

The following paragraphs are inspired by Nouman Ali Khan’s reflections from the Revealed app.

The pairing of blessings and mercy implies that during hardship Allah doesn’t just reward us for being patient but He protects through His mercy as everything unfolds.

The link between those who are patient when faced with hardship and those who embody true guidance is a unique but profound one that redefines guidance altogether. It’s common in our tradition for guidance to be characterized by increased knowledge, worship, or anything else that is obvious to the public eye. Here, Allah transforms the standard of what guidance actually is by including a matter that is so intimate, so private, that it is only truly known by Allah. This is also quite refreshing as the concept of guidance or righteousness has been tainted by societal standards, ones that often expect from us more than what Allah has made obligatory. This unconventional definition of guidance liberates us from those societal pressures and encourages us to cultivate a strong relationship with our Creator; without even mentioning what that would look like to those around us.

The political implications of this ayah provide the basis for resistance against oppression. A community who truly believes that Allah will protect, reward, and provide for those who are patient during calamity would be very difficult to defeat, and very difficult to silence. One would only have to look at the people of Palestine, Sudan, and other oppressed nations to see these values embodied in real life.

These people who have been oppressed in their own land, terrorized, and denied basic rights; basic humanity.

Yet, if you were to listen to many of their testimonies, they often respond with profound expressions of gratitude, patience, and contentment; regardless of the inexplicable pain.

They would tell you that Allah is with them and He will reward them, and you will definitely hear them say ‘We belong to God and to Him we shall return’.

These are the people I am reminded of when reading this ayah, the ones Allah describes with such high regard; Yet, according to the conventional understanding of Maslow’s Hierarchy, they would be far from self actualization.

Isn’t it beautiful how our Rabb empowers the oppressed?

Isn’t it beautiful how our Rabb honours the ones who endure?

Isn’t it beautiful how our Rabb gives pain a higher purpose?

That He made sure we had the means to be truly successful during both hardship and ease, through patience and gratitude, through scarcity and abundance.

That He didn’t limit our ability to become our best selves to our circumstances or to which needs happen to be met.

That’s precisely what humanistic theory is missing, it limits self actualization to the material and doesn’t look past what is seen with the naked eye. It underestimates our ability to make meaning out of pain, to thrive when calamity hits, and to reach our potential regardless of material loss.

As you can see, humanistic psychology comes remarkably close to explaining behaviour and to creating the blueprint for flourishing; however there is much that it fails to consider.

We should take responsibility and strive but that won’t always be recognized by others.

We must initiate our own change but we ultimately need guidance from our Creator.

We do have certain needs that must be met but that doesn’t always define who we are.

We should aim for self actualization but that won’t always look like worldly success.

Islam beautifully and comprehensively elaborates on many of the conceptual principles of humanistic theory and provides not just information but builds entire frameworks, an entire way of thinking; taking into account spiritual, ethical, social, and political factors. All of which equip us with the ability to thrive during any circumstance, no matter how difficult it may appear.

It anchors us within through our relationship with our Rabb.

That is the foundation, everything else comes after.

This is what humanistic theory refuses to acknowledge, that the individual doesn’t have the capacity to do it all and seeking guidance from the Creator is essential; that is the fundamental difference between humanistic psychology and Islamic teachings.

Allah, out of His mercy, makes us aware of our inherent weaknesses so that we may live with the nature of our fitrah and not against it.

So we may live a life in surrender to the will of Allah and not one where we are constantly trying to prove ourselves.

I hope this made you realize just how much wisdom the Quran holds and how important it is that we turn to it for all types of insight. We must interact with the Quran not as an academic pursuit, but as if we are building a lens through which we see the world and engage with it. We don’t have to study Islam full time to live the guidance and mercy of the Quran. Each one of us can pursue a worldly education, but we must never forget that the word of Allah will always prevail.

وَكَلِمَةُ ٱللَّهِ هِىَ ٱلْعُلْيَا ۗ وَٱللَّهُ عَزِيزٌ حَكِيمٌ

But the word of Allah is exalted to the heights: for Allah is Almighty, All-Wise.

9:40

Thank you for reflecting with me and taking the time to read my essay, I appreciate it! These are my own reflections, supplemented from the Revealed app and the Quran website. Whatever I said that was right is from Allah and all my mistakes are from me. May Allah forgive us all.

I still remember singing Katy Perry in third grade.

All the different instruments I learned to play as part of my music class.

All those recesses I spent doing just dance with my friends.

That was the just beginning, when I started high school, I downloaded Spotify and it was my companion where ever I went.

Whether I was studying, working out, baking; I always had music playing in the background.

Then, covid hit and it makes me cringe to bring this up, but I entered my K-pop era.

To say I was obsessed is an understatement. I was one of those girls who had an unhealthy attachment to these random Korean people that don’t even know I exist.

With all the free time I had, I spent most of it consuming K-pop reality shows, YouTube lives, and behind the scenes; and obviously, listening to their music constantly.

It kept getting worse and worse to be honest, it reached a point where the only thing that occupied my mind was music.

Covid eventually ended and school started again, which definitely calmed the obsession down a little.

It was at the end of that year that I started to realize that music was impacting my heart and pulling me away from Allah.

And I still didn’t quit.

I started reading more Quran to make up for the sins I got for listening to music. I think I read maybe a juz everyday and kept my music consumption the same.

I knew deep down that I had to cut music out of my life but I just didn’t know exactly how because I was genuinely so attached to it.

The first time I cut down on music was during Ramadan of my sophomore year of high school. I spent the entire month without music, which was SO difficult for me.

I still have a vivid memory of Eid morning, me in the kitchen listening to all my favourite songs while making my family breakfast.

I think after that Ramadan I started listening to music again without changing a thing.

Then one day, I was talking to my friend and she randomly mentioned that she doesn’t listen to music on Fridays. I was very intrigued and asked her why, she said out of respect for the holiness of the day.

So that’s what I started doing too.

Eventually I built up to only listening to music every other day. This took awhile though, maybe a little under a year.

From there, I gradually limited the music to 2-3 songs, every other day.

It was during this phase that my K-pop addiction started to fade.

The last phase of my journey in quitting music was listening to songs in acapella; no background music, just vocals.

I continued doing this for the next year or so, but I admit that it kind of got out of hand because I started listening to music daily again. It wasn’t really music but it still distracted me the same way real music did.

This was my senior year of high school and even while listening to only acapella, I entered my second music era: Taylor Swift.

Alhamdulillah, this time I wasn’t as addicted, I was a lot more of a casual listener. But I can’t deny that my heart wasnt where it needed to be.

I continued up until the summer after I graduated high school.

Then at the start of my gap year, I went cold turkey and cut all music out.

This was quite hard to be honest, as I got used to background noise and something keeping my mood elevated.

I tried listening to nasheed but it wasn’t for me.

Then, I started listening to Quran and gradually fell in love with it.

I still remember the Surahs I first listened to; Surah Al-Qalam, Surah Al-Waqiah, Surah Al-Qamar. They got stuck in my head and it was truly the most beautiful thing ever.

I listened to Quran while studying, while cleaning, while working out. It filled the silenced in a way that soothed me; the words of my Creator.

I felt so much calmer, more grounded, and connected to my Rabb.

I began to fixate on Surahs just like I did with songs.

I have favourite reciters just like I once had favourite artists.

I find myself repeating ayaat just like I used to have lyrics stuck in my head.

And I still listen to a song (in acapella) every now and then. I even find myself singing some of my favourite songs sometimes, typically when I feel sad.

But I finally reached a point where my default is Quran and Dhikr.

Alhamdulillah.

As you can see, the change didn’t happen overnight. It wasn’t linear either.

It took me nearly five years and it was Allah who guided me through every step.

I thank Allah for His guidance and mercy, for how much He has allowed me to grow, and how much He has bestowed upon me.

I thought I would share my experience with you because I know music is one of the biggest fitnahs we face everyday.

Looking back, I was actually quite surprised just how long it took me and I realized that this is what real, lasting change looks like.

I know there are people out there who expect themselves to quit overnight. I was surely one of them.

Allah could have easily guided me in a split second, but perhaps the reason it took five years was so that I could experience His guidance, His mercy, and His love firsthand.

If you are struggling with music, Allah sees you.

Repent to Him with a sincere heart and don’t lose hope in His mercy.

You will stumble, you will fall back; imperfections are inevitable.

But don’t let that hold you back, just keep returning to Him.

قُلْ يَـٰعِبَادِىَ ٱلَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُوا۟ عَلَىٰٓ أَنفُسِهِمْ لَا تَقْنَطُوا۟ مِن رَّحْمَةِ ٱللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يَغْفِرُ ٱلذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًا ۚ إِنَّهُۥ هُوَ ٱلْغَفُورُ ٱلرَّحِيمُ

Say, ˹O Prophet, that Allah says,˺ “O My servants who have exceeded the limits against their souls! Do not lose hope in Allah’s mercy, for Allah certainly forgives all sins. He is indeed the All-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

39:53

I ask Allah to forgive us all and guide us on to the straight path.

If we absorb this culture without a moment of contemplation; it would be very reasonable for our understanding of the self to be distorted and to reach a point where one’s entire existence is centred around personal comfort and convenience.

But the self was never meant to be in the centre, Allah is.

That is why we cannot follow a philosophy that was never created for us in the first place, especially when we can follow the one sent by our Creator instead.

This essay will explore the current culture of self care in the West in relation to the Quran, specifically Surah Al-Hashr.

I have noticed the current idea of self care often revolves around the lower desires of the nafs; where comfort is idolized and discomfort is avoided.

To me, the self is much more than desires, pride, and ego. It encompasses the mind, the soul, and the heart, all of which are often neglected in the name of fulfilling the insatiable needs of the nafs.

In order to truly take care of the self, we have to nurture every part of it and that typically means limiting the power of our desires over us; an uncomfortable, never ending battle that we all must face.

We can understand this lesson on a deeper level by reflecting upon this ayah from Surah Al-Hashr:

وَٱلَّذِينَ تَبَوَّءُو ٱلدَّارَ وَٱلْإِيمَـٰنَ مِن قَبْلِهِمْ يُحِبُّونَ مَنْ هَاجَرَ إِلَيْهِمْ وَلَا يَجِدُونَ فِى صُدُورِهِمْ حَاجَةًۭ مِّمَّآ أُوتُوا۟ وَيُؤْثِرُونَ عَلَىٰٓ أَنفُسِهِمْ وَلَوْ كَانَ بِهِمْ خَصَاصَةٌۭ ۚ وَمَن يُوقَ شُحَّ نَفْسِهِۦ فَأُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلْمُفْلِحُونَ

As for those who had settled in the city and ˹embraced˺ the faith before ˹the arrival of˺ the emigrants, they love whoever immigrates to them, never having a desire in their hearts for whatever ˹of the gains˺ is given to the emigrants. They give ˹the emigrants˺ preference over themselves even though they may be in need. And whoever is saved from the selfishness of their own nafs, it is they who are ˹truly˺ successful.

59:9

This single ayah from the Quran challenges many assumptions behind the current understanding of self care, which often looks like:

Viewing relationships as transactional

Acting as if people are replaceable

Having a low tolerance for disagreement

Expecting validation for every good deed

If the Ansar held these beliefs, they wouldn’t have given up everything they had for Al-Muhajreen; who they only got to know recently.

They didn’t let their natural desires for food, security, shelter, and safety control them; and instead, they were honoured to be those who helped the mission of Islam during its earliest and weakest days.

The sad reality that we don’t speak of enough is that the more control your desires have over you, the more neglected your spirituality will be. Every time you act upon the desires of your nafs, it’s taking away an opportunity to act on the desires of your soul; which yearns to be close to its Creator.

Taking care of the soul might look quite different than your typical self care.

It might look like fasting, tahajjud, sadaqah; all of which sacrifice our comfort for the sake of Allah.

The Ansar embodied this self sacrifice to an extent most of us, myself included, may initially misunderstand.

The Ansar felt no jealousy, no resentment regardless of their hunger, and no regret regardless of their loss. They felt no need to be praised or appreciated for their actions.

Why?

Because they did it all out of pure love for Allah; the sweetness of that outweighed any bitterness that could have arisen after Al-Muhajreen moved to Medina.

This is mind blowing to me because it goes against everything popular culture depicts as self care; a non muslim person would read this and be filled with confusion. They gave up their houses, their provision, their comfort, their security, for people they barely knew? On top of that, they kept sacrificing themselves for others, even if that meant making their lives harder. I can already imagine the responses.

“You have to put yourself first, or else others will take advantage of you”

“Self sacrifice is a lack of self worth, it will lead to toxic behavior”

“Why would you give strangers your livelihood when you are in need, that just sounds irrational”

But what they don’t understand is that these very acts may have limited their primitive desires, but it allowed them to reach their highest selves instead. They had faith that every sacrifice they make for Allah’s sake would increase them in rank, in good deeds; ultimately bringing them closer to meeting Allah in jannah.

Let me clarify, what the Ansar did is considered somewhat extreme and Allah doesn’t make it obligatory upon us; however, it is a standard which we should all strive to. What is more worthy of consideration is that they did it for Allah alone. Our self sacrifice doesn’t have to look like that, but it must sincerely originate from the same place. Even my western conditioned mind is made uncomfortable by this notion, but what I tell myself is that I am doing this for my soul, which is ACTUAL self care.

We often look down upon this level of sacrifice, because we assume people are doing it with ulterior motives; to be praised, noticed, and validated. Here, their sacrifice will get them no where in the Akhira because they’re doing it for the wrong reasons.

It’s very nuanced yet utterly beautiful that we are judged based on our deep, often intimate intentions; because once we tame our nafs and purify our intentions our once simple actions will weigh much more on the scale.

And we tame our nafs by allowing it to be a means through which we grow closer to Allah, because that is the epitome of TRUE self care. We are ensuring both the Dunyah and the Akhira are taken into account, because it’s not really self care if one is neglected.

Our souls were created before our bodies and will continue to exist after our death. It seems only fitting that they yearn for what is eternal: closeness to their Rabb, His pleasure, and the sweetness of Jannah.

On the other hand, our nafs is mainly governed by primitive needs, driven by our bodies, which are mortal. They originate from the earth and return to it not very long after. That is reflected in what they desire too: fleeting, temporary satisfaction.

Allah gave us both for a reason, they work together to facilitate our worship. But we cannot deny that achieving proper balance is an exhausting, never ending journey; and I think that’s precisely the point.

If everyone had the capacity to do it, it would have no value. We have to put in the effort, struggle for Allah's sake, and continue doing so until our last breath.

And that begins by understanding our inherent nature.

The Quran describes the nafs in three distinct states; which interestingly enough, are in parallel with the components of the self in Freud’s Psychoanalytic Theory.

Each level of the nafs is mentioned only once in the entire Quran, I encourage you to ponder the context of each ayah when you get a chance.

Also, I would like to clarify that I am not equating Freud with the Quran, it’s obvious which one holds more truth. I simply want to illustrate how many popular theories in psychology have conceptual parallels in the Quran. They do miss the mark quite often; which is why I think it’s important for us to build a tendency to go to the Quran for this sort of insight.

The nafs we start off with at birth, is one that desires and commands (النفس الأمارة), similar to the concept of the id in Freud’s Theory. This part of the self operates on what Freud called “The Pleasure Principle”, its main objective is to feel pleasure regardless of morals, convenience, and social norms.

This nafs was mentioned during the story of Yusuf (as), when he was resisting one of the greatest temptations; lust.

وَمَآ أُبَرِّئُ نَفْسِىٓ ۚ إِنَّ ٱلنَّفْسَ لَأَمَّارَةٌۢ بِٱلسُّوٓءِ إِلَّا مَا رَحِمَ رَبِّىٓ ۚ إِنَّ رَبِّى غَفُورٌۭ رَّحِيمٌۭ

And I do not seek to free myself from blame, for indeed the nafs is ever inclined to evil, except those shown mercy by my Lord. Surely my Lord is All-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

12:53

Based on Ibn Al-Qiyam’s ‘Book of the Soul’:

“The nafs that incites to evil is blameworthy, for it commands all that is evil. This is its nature, except for those whom God guides, strengthens, and helps. No one is saved from the evil of their own nafs except through God's grace.”

That is the natural state of our bodily desires IF we don’t control them and we will only be successful in doing so with Allah’s help and mercy.

Then, we have the self reproaching nafs (النفس اللوامة) which Allah swears by right after swearing by the day of resurrection.

وَلَآ أُقْسِمُ بِٱلنَّفْسِ ٱللَّوَّامَةِ

And I do swear by the self-reproaching nafs!

75:2

According to Ibn Al-Qiyam, the self reproaching nafs is:

“It is that which does not remain in one state, derived the word from “تلوم,” which means hesitation, for it is full of change and variation. It is one of God’s greatest signs, for it is one of His creations that changes and varies in a single hour—let alone a day, a month, a year, or a lifetime—in countless ways. It remembers and forgets, accepts and rejects, is gentle and harsh, repents and turns away, loves and hates, rejoices and grieves, is pleased and angry, obeys and disobeys, is pious and transgresses, and so on, with its many more states and variations.“

This level of the nafs greatly resembles the ego in Freud’s Theory, which is described as a mediator between the desires of the id and reality. It constantly has to be redirecting the id’s urges into outlets that are moral and socially acceptable; and naturally, that will look different with every situation, similar to the fluctuations of the self reproaching nafs.

Lastly, we have the tranquil, reassured nafs (النفس المطمئنة) which is similar to the superego, the last component of the self according to Freud. The superego is known as the moral compass, enforcer of conscientiousness, and upholder of values.

The tranquil nafs is called upon by Allah at the end of Surah Al-Fajr:

يَـٰٓأَيَّتُهَا ٱلنَّفْسُ ٱلْمُطْمَئِنَّةُ

ٱرْجِعِىٓ إِلَىٰ رَبِّكِ رَاضِيَةًۭ مَّرْضِيَّةًۭ

˹Allah will say to the righteous,˺ “O tranquil nafs!

Return to your Lord, well pleased ˹with Him˺ and well pleasing ˹to Him˺.

89:28-89:29

The tranquil nafs, in the ‘Book of the Soul’, is further described as:

“… necessitate from the tranquil nafs monotheism, benevolence, righteousness, piety, patience, reliance, repentance, turning to God, and preparing for death and what comes after it.”

Subhanallah, the tranquil nafs is disciplined by Islamic values and ethics. Whereas the superego is shaped by what Freud called “Socializing Agents”, meaning it derives its sense of morality from its environment without any universal, objective standard.

One shaped by its Creator, the other shaped by the creation.

In Freud’s theory, the ego is the unlucky mediator who has to constantly keep the id and the superego happy while maintaining whatever subjective societal standard it happens to be living in. The ego is known to experience lots of anxiety according to Freud and that is why defence mechanisms are attributed to it alone; which include denial, suppression, projection. Essentially, Freud justifies these coping strategies as a part of who the ego is.

With the Quran, the nafs only increases in awareness and reassurance as it progresses from level to level, and it ultimately does so through Allah’s love and guidance. Allah takes care of the nafs completely as soon as it surrenders to its Creator, (inshallah) reaching the level of the tranquil nafs that is tamed by its love for Allah. This isn’t achieved by tailoring the self to societal standards or by drowning in anxiety, but by building a connection so strong with Allah, that everything becomes meaningless in comparison.

Now that we understand the levels of the nafs, the actions of the Ansar begin to make complete sense.

The Ansar beautifully reflect the qualities of the tranquil nafs, and viewed from that perspective, it’s actually quite logical what they did.

Only the lowest self would define sacrifice as mere discomfort, when in reality, it’s much more than that; it’s an act of love and obedience to its Creator.

Modern self care, at its essence, keeps us stuck at the commanding nafs (النفس الامارة) which we know will never be satisfied and will continue demanding more. It neglects the soul, neglects the Akhira, and doesn’t provide a comprehensive understanding of what ‘care’ actually is.

This ayah from Surah Al-Hashr redefines the concept completely, because what is looked down upon in the West is praised by our Rabb and that deserves a moment of reflection from all of us.

I would like to conclude by discussing the last part of the ayah:

وَمَن يُوقَ شُحَّ نَفْسِهِۦ فَأُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلْمُفْلِحُونَ

And whoever is saved from the selfishness of their own nafs, it is they who are ˹truly˺ successful.

59:9

This profoundly explains the underlying principle behind what the Ansar did; Allah gave us the ultimate example and then a simple, yet generalized rule that all of us can easily apply to our lives.

The Ansar were not born free of selfishness; but rather they continuously shielded themselves from their own desires and this is the reality of our existence too.

Allah acknowledges that this شح [stinginess, greed, jealousy] exists within us and that is something we must protect ourselves from. He knows we have these desires that seem to never be fulfilled and that if we let them control us, it will be ugly and lead to ultimate failure.

The verb used here is يوق [shielded, protected, saved] and it’s in the present tense; which in the Quran, is a detail worth mentioning as the tense of verbs often has underlying meanings. The fact Allah used the present tense indicates continuity through renewal meaning this is something we will engage in continuously in the Dunyah; Allah knows we will have our ups and downs, but we must continue renewing our intentions every time.

Then, Allah links it all with true success and refers to the same people who shielded themselves as المفلحون [people of success, triumph, salvation]. He does so by using a noun, which is essentially unbound by time in the Arabic language; in contrast to verbs which are typically caged by time.

I find this so beautiful subhanallah, that Allah indicates that the struggle is temporary and the success is eternal.

On the other hand, when we constantly give in to the desires of the lower nafs, the struggle is eternal and the reward is temporary.

The struggle is inevitably there, but the choice is ultimately ours.

May Allah guide us all and allow us to be amongst the tranquil selves who return to their Rabb in Jannah.

I hope you enjoyed reading my essay. I appreciate you 🤍

These are my own reflections as a clinical psychology major and student of the Quran. Whatever I said that is right, it is from Allah and all my mistakes are for me. May Allah forgive us all.

Think about building a new habit, studying to attain a certain title, or starting a new hobby.

It all starts small; with a desire, a passion, an ambition. In the beginning it’s tough and an immense amount of effort is needed to gain momentum and launch this new part of your identity.

As time goes by, the days start feeling easier, more bearable. Years may pass by and you’re still working and growing to become who you want to be.

Then, there comes a time where you can taste the fruit of your efforts; you get the degree, you finish the marathon, you become skilled at what you do.

That’s the natural dopamine that comes with doing the difficult, nearly painful task consistently; until it compounds and you’re able to see material evidence of your discipline. That’s simply the way our brains are wired; and alhamdullilah that Allah built this into us, that we have to engage in hard work before getting to experience a sense of reward, or else we would become extinct out of pure laziness.

Interestingly enough, we live in a time where you don’t have to do all that hard work to get dopamine, you can just go on your phone and doomscroll for hours and get a similar effect; we are living in the age of disgustingly cheap dopamine.

Our brains have tasted the reward with very little effort put in; and our brains are smart, they want to save as much energy as possible, so if they know this low cost, low risk dopamine exists, of course we are going to crave it.

We want to taste delicious, ripe fruit but not put any work into taking care of any tree.

And me, being ultra aware of this reality, I thought I was saved from this way of thinking. Spoiler alert: I was NOT immune to this desire for cheap dopamine and just a couple of weeks ago, I was humbled to say the least.

I was trying to build something from scratch (keeping it vague for my own wellbeing lol). I put effort for maybe like a week, I didn’t see results and I am ashamed to say that I gave up.

I was unconsciously hasty and impatient; what made me snap out of it was a video I saw where a guy compared building an identity based on faith to the growth of a tree. He said a tree takes seven years for it to grow tall and steady; similarly, developing any habit or identity can also take several years.

That was such an eye opening video, it made me realize that I gave up early because I expected my seed to bear fruit from the first week, which isn’t even slightly realistic.

Everyone has seeds to nourish and take care of; in the beginning, there needs to be trust that the seed will sprout, that will be the first sign of real results. It is in the beginning that most of us give up because it just feels like we are watering dirt without anything in return.

But no one knows when that seed will sprout, no one knows how much potential that seed holds. There are so many factors that could interfere, but the single most important one is how much you take care of it.

I am sure you understand what I am getting at. Every desire to build a new identity, behaviour, or belief, it’s all too similar to growing a tree from a minuscule seed. It is only later that you will get to actually enjoy the benefits of the identity, the behaviour, or the belief. Just like how a farmer may spend years pouring resources to take care of his farm, but only taste that sweet, ripe fruit at the very end.

We must remind ourselves that as we are building who we want to be, we cannot let the lack of immediate results convince us that it’s not going to happen, that Allah isn’t managing our affairs at every moment. Sometimes you just work and work, without anything to show for it until suddenly; the seed sprouts and you begin to notice progress.

As I was carrying this thought in my mind, I couldn’t help but remember this ayah from Surah Ibrahim and just how relevant it is.

أَلَمْ تَرَ كَيْفَ ضَرَبَ ٱللَّهُ مَثَلًۭا كَلِمَةًۭ طَيِّبَةًۭ كَشَجَرَةٍۢ طَيِّبَةٍ أَصْلُهَا ثَابِتٌۭ وَفَرْعُهَا فِى ٱلسَّمَآءِ

Do you not see how Allah compares a good word to a good tree? Its root is firm and its branches reach the sky

14:24

According to Ibn Kathir’s tafseer:

‘a good word’ here refers to the shahadah, which is what defines a believer.

‘Its root is firm’ is illustrating just how deep the iman lies in a Muslim’s heart.

‘Branches reaching the sky’ is portraying how a believer’s good deeds reach the heavens.

Also, the translation of ‘طيبة’ as merely ‘good’ is an injustice to the depth of the Arabic language. This word carries the meanings of pure, wholesome, pleasant, loving; which conveys much more meaning.

Subhanallah I realized this symbolism was already in the Quran and it’s significantly more meaningful than anything I initially thought.

Going back to what I said earlier, I can go as far as to say each one of us is just a forest of trees. Each tree being an aspect of our identity, of who we are.

So, imagine the type of person you would be if every tree in your forest was a good tree (شجرة طيبة)? Meaning every hobby, title, habit, was built from a place rooted in faith, centred around worship.

Imagine if every time you worked out, you did so to become stronger for the sake of Allah.

Imagine if every time you went to class, you did so to seek knowledge for the sake of Allah.

Imagine if every time you worked on your business, you did so to seek provision for the sake of Allah.

How mentally stable and content would we be?

Not to mention how much barakah would be filling our lives.

And how liberated we would feel, because we become so attached to Allah we automatically detach from the result.

Allah has given us the ability to turn achieving any goal into worship, yet we don’t take advantage of that enough. Most of us make the intention in the beginning and then forget as soon as we get busy (I am guilty of this, especially during finals season).

This is your sign to turn your daily routine into one anchored by faith, one built on worshipping Allah through every breath you take, every word you utter, and every decision you make.

Our lives will have SO much meaning and purpose, if we centre them around the one who created us.

So water your seeds, trust that they will sprout, take care of your forest; and do it all for the sake of Allah.

I hope you never see trees the same way again, there is truly so much profound wisdom built into things we see as mundane. I understand now when Allah said:

وَفِى ٱلْأَرْضِ ءَايَـٰتٌۭ لِّلْمُوقِنِينَ

وَفِىٓ أَنفُسِكُمْ ۚ أَفَلَا تُبْصِرُونَ

There are ˹countless˺ signs on earth for those with sure faith,

as there are within yourselves. Can you not see?

51:20-51:21

May Allah make us of those who do see His signs.

Thank you for coming down this rabbit hole with me 🤍

The Accepter of Repentance, The Bestower of Mercy

Throughout Surah Al-Baqarah, this combination of Allah’s names appears four times.

After reading it many times, I finally I noticed that it all ties beautifully together, with each repetition adding a layer of depth and detail.

Putting the pieces together:

فَتَلَقَّىٰٓ ءَادَمُ مِن رَّبِّهِۦ كَلِمَـٰتٍۢ فَتَابَ عَلَيْهِ ۚ إِنَّهُۥ هُوَ ٱلتَّوَّابُ ٱلرَّحِيمُ

Then Adam was inspired with words ˹of prayer˺ by his Lord, so He accepted his repentance. Surely He is the Accepter of Repentance, Bestower of Mercy.

2:37

The first place it was mentioned was in the story of Adam (as) after he fell for Shaitan’s temptations.

وَإِذْ قَالَ مُوسَىٰ لِقَوْمِهِۦ يَـٰقَوْمِ إِنَّكُمْ ظَلَمْتُمْ أَنفُسَكُم بِٱتِّخَاذِكُمُ ٱلْعِجْلَ فَتُوبُوٓا۟ إِلَىٰ بَارِئِكُمْ فَٱقْتُلُوٓا۟ أَنفُسَكُمْ ذَٰلِكُمْ خَيْرٌۭ لَّكُمْ عِندَ بَارِئِكُمْ فَتَابَ عَلَيْكُمْ ۚ إِنَّهُۥ هُوَ ٱلتَّوَّابُ ٱلرَّحِيمُ

And ˹remember˺ when Moses said to his people, “O my people! Surely you have wronged yourselves by worshipping the calf, so turn in repentance to your Creator and execute ˹the calf-worshippers among˺ yourselves. That is best for you in the sight of your Creator.” Then He accepted your repentance. Surely He is the Accepter of Repentance, Bestower of Mercy.

2:54

As Musa (as) was preaching to Bani Israel and their consistent misguidance, Allah reminded them that He is التواب الرحيم.

رَبَّنَا وَٱجْعَلْنَا مُسْلِمَيْنِ لَكَ وَمِن ذُرِّيَّتِنَآ أُمَّةًۭ مُّسْلِمَةًۭ لَّكَ وَأَرِنَا مَنَاسِكَنَا وَتُبْ عَلَيْنَآ ۖ إِنَّكَ أَنتَ ٱلتَّوَّابُ ٱلرَّحِيمُ

Our Lord! Make us both ˹fully˺ submit to You and from our descendants a nation that will submit to You. Show us our rituals, and turn to us in grace. You are truly the Accepter of Repentance, Bestower of Mercy

2:128

Ibrahim (as) and Ismael (as), the most purified souls to walk the earth, uttered the same words.

إِنَّ ٱلَّذِينَ يَكْتُمُونَ مَآ أَنزَلْنَا مِنَ ٱلْبَيِّنَـٰتِ وَٱلْهُدَىٰ مِنۢ بَعْدِ مَا بَيَّنَّـٰهُ لِلنَّاسِ فِى ٱلْكِتَـٰبِ ۙ أُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ يَلْعَنُهُمُ ٱللَّهُ وَيَلْعَنُهُمُ ٱللَّـٰعِنُونَ

إِلَّا ٱلَّذِينَ تَابُوا۟ وَأَصْلَحُوا۟ وَبَيَّنُوا۟ فَأُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ أَتُوبُ عَلَيْهِمْ ۚ وَأَنَا ٱلتَّوَّابُ ٱلرَّحِيمُ

Those who hide the clear proofs and guidance that We have revealed—after We made it clear for humanity in the Book—will be condemned by Allah and ˹all˺ those who condemn.

As for those who repent, mend their ways, and let the truth be known, they are the ones to whom I will turn ˹in forgiveness˺, for I am the Accepter of Repentance, Bestower of Mercy.

2:159-2:160

Lastly, Allah addresses those who misguide others and conceal the truth (this ayah references the people of the book specifically), and even though their sin is heavy, He makes sure to remind them that He is التواب الرحيم too.

In this last ayah, Allah tells us directly: I am The Accepter of Repentance, Bestower of Mercy.

The first human to be created knew that Allah is التواب الرحيم

Musa (as) knew that Allah is التواب الرحيم

Ibrahim (as) knew that Allah is التواب الرحيم

Ismael (as) knew that Allah is التواب الرحيم

Then, Allah told me and you that He is التواب الرحيم

From the beginning to the end of humanity, Allah’s names [التواب الرحيم] echo through generations across the world.

Whether we fall for the whispers of Shaitan like Adam (as).

Or we can’t seem to stop sinning like Bani Israel.

Or maybe we’re so misguided, we lead others astray like the people of the book.

Or even if we reach a state of near perfect faith like Ibrahim (as).

These four scenarios comprehensively summarize the spectrum on which humans live from a perspective of faith.

And in each and every scenario, we are given these beautiful names of Allah.

So no one ever thinks they are a special case, a sinner that Allah won’t forgive.

Allah mentioned the extremes of both intentional and unintentional misguidance.

He mentioned Believers and non believers.

He mentioned harming oneself and others.

He mentioned it all.

Can any of us really say that it’s too late? That Allah won’t accept our repentance?

We would be doing the Quran an injustice if we carried that belief.

He wanted every one of His slaves to know these names, regardless of what they have done.

So we return to Him every time, no matter what.

How beautiful is that?

Also I am aware that there are truly toxic relationships that one can have with family and there are cases in which cutting the ties is permissible according to some scholars. However, this special case represents a small percentage, which this essay is NOT addressing.

In Surah Mohammed, Allah says the following:

فَهَلْ عَسَيْتُمْ إِن تَوَلَّيْتُمْ أَن تُفْسِدُوا۟ فِى ٱلْأَرْضِ وَتُقَطِّعُوٓا۟ أَرْحَامَكُمْ

Now if you turn away, perhaps you would then spread corruption throughout the land and sever your ˹ties of˺ kinship!

47:22l

The mention of cutting family ties and corruption in the land together deserves a moment of reflection. Allah’s ayaat are seamlessly weaved together and whenever He mentions two things alongside each other, no matter how unrelated they seem on the surface, there is always a connection.

So what is the connection between a private family issue and a major societal one?

We as humans have the tendency to view actions based on their immediate effect and often ignore both the conditions that predispose to that action and their long term consequences. When someone chooses to sever a family tie what typically precedes it is some sort of conflict, dysfunction, or abuse. Can anyone really cut a family tie in an isolated incident, without any misunderstanding building up to it? It doesn’t make any sense at all.

When a mother neglects her son, or an uncle slanders his nephew, or a father abuses his daughter. The obvious result is that the relationship is no longer intact, but what happens over time?

That’s the part no one talks about, but it could be the exact reason why Allah prohibits the cutting of family ties.

The son grows up feeling as if he isn’t worthy of love; having no self respect, becoming easy to control.

The nephew develops insecurity and no longer sees family gathering as a safe space, finding company elsewhere.

The daughter grows up thinking all men are abusive, sabotaging her marriage before it even existed.

These are just a few examples, but there are so many different ways familial conflict can manifest; and this is the sad reality that we see time and time again.

The comment, the comparison, the constant criticism. It’s simply a seed that is mindlessly planted and before we know it, the tree grows tall; and its intimidating shadow swallows us whole.

We become bitter and broken in way or another, difficult to be around, hard to befriend.

An ugliness develops within us when the relationships that we were meant to have are destroyed; like a chronic, psychological wound that keeps our body constantly on guard.

So when Allah tells us to not sever ties of kinship, it makes sense that He also wouldn’t want us to have these types of dysfunctional, emotionally taxing relationships; because it’s exactly what leads someone to cut family ties.

Allah told us what to avoid, but what should we do instead? This is beautifully answered in Surah An-Nahl.

إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يَأْمُرُ بِٱلْعَدْلِ وَٱلْإِحْسَـٰنِ وَإِيتَآئِ ذِى ٱلْقُرْبَىٰ وَيَنْهَىٰ عَنِ ٱلْفَحْشَآءِ وَٱلْمُنكَرِ وَٱلْبَغْىِ ۚ يَعِظُكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَذَكَّرُونَ

Indeed, Allah commands justice, grace, as well as generosity to close relatives. He forbids indecency, wickedness, and aggression. He instructs you so perhaps you will be mindful

16:90

This is the second piece of the story that is often overlooked. It all makes sense when we look at these two concepts together.

‘Don’t sever family ties’ doesn’t become an excuse for enduring injustice; but rather an expectation for excellence and justice with every interaction we have with our families.

We cannot ignore the ayah from Surah An-Nahl and apply only the ayah from Surah Mohammed; we have to apply the Quran as a whole no matter how inconvenient or uncomfortable it may be.

Because dealing with family members can be difficult, it requires immense patience and emotional regulation. It is better for us to struggle controlling our nafs, than it is for someone else to struggle because of they were a victim to our emotional dysregulation.

Now, what does corruption mean in Islam?

According to Al-Manawi:

خروج الشيء عن الاعتدال، قليلًا كان الخروج أو كثيراً، ويستعمل ذلك في النفس، والبدن، والأشياء الخارجة عن الاستقامة

The departure of something from its moderate state, whether the departure is slight or significant, and this is used to describe the soul, the body, and things that deviate from righteousness.

Through this definition, we understand that a corrupted soul isn’t necessarily an evil, mischievous one; but it could also be a soul that was wounded so bad, it deviated as a reaction.

Allah uses the word ‘فساد’ in multiple ways in the Quran, all of them carrying this primary meaning.

Which includes: disbelieving, hypocrisy, injustice, major sins, stealing, and cutting family ties.

Each one is an example of corruption; and in each one there is a corrupted soul facilitating the act. How can righteous soul do anything but righteous?

Corruption in the land can only occur if there are more corrupted souls than righteous ones.

So we should not corrupt each other with our words and our actions; because over time corruption will spread and compound, slowly defining the world around us.

Now that the connection between cutting family ties and corruption has been established, it’s time to link it to its modern, yet less profound equivalent: Object Relations Theory.

Object Relations Theory, introduced in the 1920s, is the belief that early relationships with family shape how we view the world around us, how we function as adults, and the quality of our relationships. It is built on the idea of ‘internal objects’ which are essentially mental images of family members that are ingrained in a child’s unconscious. Throughout their life these objects act as internal templates that shape how they interpret and react to other people; often without any conscious awareness. This theory claims that emotional regulation, limited beliefs, self esteem, and self concept are all influenced by early experiences with caregivers.

It acknowledges that poor treatment from other people can destroy a person and cause them to behave in ways that aren’t ideal.

It’s the same thing Allah said in Surah Mohammed.

Expect Allah didn’t just include children, but rather all people.

He also tied to something much more important: corruption in the land.

Allah’s theory is more comprehensive and links the concept to the bigger picture; emphasizing the effect not just the action.

Subhanallah.

This Quran truly has all the answers, it’s a shame we don’t go to it to look for them.

Thank you for reading and reflecting with me.

Whatever good I say is from Allah and whatever mistakes I have made are from me. May Allah forgive us all.

Made a mistake that ruined everything.

A slip up that cost you and the people around you.

You felt horrible, worthless, drowned in guilt. I am saying this because I have been there too, then I understood Surah Ali Emran and everything changed.

We all know what happened at the Battle of Uhud. The Muslims messed up; they disobeyed the Prophet (saw), followed their worldly desires, and the result was dozens of martyrs. The outcome was so bad, it had the potential to prevent the expansion of Islam and allow the Quraish to win.

Could the stakes have been any higher?

Yet, look at how Allah talks to the muslims after the Battle, the same muslims who couldn’t control their nafs, who got their brothers killed, who went against the command of Mohammed (saw).

وَلَا تَهِنُوا۟ وَلَا تَحْزَنُوا۟ وَأَنتُمُ ٱلْأَعْلَوْنَ إِن كُنتُم مُّؤْمِنِينَ

Do not falter or grieve, for you will have the upper hand, if you are 'true' believers.

3:139

Isn’t it beautiful how Allah reassures them, with so much gentleness and mercy, regardless of the heaviness of their mistake.

Allah ties their success to their faith (Iman) and nothing else; He literally says ‘you have the upper hand IF you are believers’, that’s it.

We aren’t expected to be perfect or live a life free of sins, we just have to be believers through it all; and continue turning back to Allah no matter what the ups and downs of this dunya look like.

This always makes me think how hard we are on ourselves for the mistakes and sins we commit, contrasted to how Allah consoles the believers after they made one of the most detrimental mistakes in Islamic history.

Adopting a patient and forbearing approach to yourself is applying the way of Allah who is The Most Patient (الصبور) and The Most Forebearing (الحليم).

Whereas drowning yourself in guilt to the extent of paralysis is a trick of the Shaitain who wants us to be sad and helpless, who wants us to think Allah would never forgive us; but every time those whispers come, remember the Battle of Uhud and how Allah reassured the hearts of the believers.

Can any of us really say we made a mistake bigger than Uhud? Can any of us really say the stakes were higher?

We can’t. It all seems minuscule when compared to a battle that could have easily destroyed the mission of Islam. But Allah didn’t let that happened, He forgave them, and Islam reached every corner of the globe.

Don’t let the mistakes you make be an obstacle to your success. Feeling guilt is normal but don’t be consumed by it, learn from your mistake, seek forgiveness, and move on.

The time and energy spent obsessing over a mistake or a sin is better spent towards reaching your goals for the sake of Allah.

After Allah reassures their initial worry, He moves on to perfectly summarize the human experience:

إِن يَمْسَسْكُمْ قَرْحٌۭ فَقَدْ مَسَّ ٱلْقَوْمَ قَرْحٌۭ مِّثْلُهُۥ ۚ وَتِلْكَ ٱلْأَيَّامُ نُدَاوِلُهَا بَيْنَ ٱلنَّاسِ وَلِيَعْلَمَ ٱللَّهُ ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَيَتَّخِذَ مِنكُمْ شُهَدَآءَ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ لَا يُحِبُّ ٱلظَّـٰلِمِينَ

If you have suffered injuries ˹at Uḥud˺, they suffered similarly ˹at Badr˺. We alternate these days ˹of victory and defeat˺ among people so that Allah may reveal the ˹true˺ believers, choose martyrs from among you—and Allah does not like the wrongdoers—

3:140

He reminds them that this dunya will test them, that they will experience days of suffering and days of bliss. This world was never meant to feel like jannah.

This message is for us too.

Every time things go our way, it is a test.

Every time things go wrong, It is a test.

That is the whole point of this world, it is nothing but a test.

We learn through this that mistakes are bound to come, but those who attach themselves to the dunya will fall and rise with their circumstances.

Whereas those who attach themselves to Allah will know that this is tiring cycle of hardship and ease is what this world was meant to be all along; and only through Allah, one can find stability and tranquility through all the chaos and pain.

‘so that Allah may reveal the ˹true˺ believers’

After Allah captures the nature of this world with just a couple of words, He tells us the why.

He tells us why He tests us; so that we can put our faith into action.

It’s easy to be close to Allah when everything is going well and there are no stakes involved, no risks to be taken. Our true characters arise during hardship, and for some of us, during success.

Allah wants to see if we really are the believers we claim to be.

وَلِيُمَحِّصَ ٱللَّهُ ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَيَمْحَقَ ٱلْكَـٰفِرِينَ

and distinguish the ˹true˺ believers and destroy the disbelievers

3:141

Will we be grateful when Allah showers us with His blessings and patient as hardships unfold in our lives?

Is our faith conditional?

Do we only worship Allah only when it’s convenient?

These are the uncomfortable truths that we can only become aware of when our circumstances change.

Because we will react to those circumstances. Some of us will react from a place of fear, worry, anxiety; whereas others react from faith, tranquility, stillness.

Some will spiral and panic, their peace of mind destroyed by the change of events, thinking they have to carry this burden all alone.

Others will go pray and live with a smile on their face, calmness consuming them because they know Allah will manage their affairs.

This difference is only made apparent through tests.

So if you notice yourself reacting from a place other than faith, let it be an opportunity for change.

We should all aspire to live this world, with its ups and downs, its tears of joy and tears of sadness; with tranquility and stillness never parting our hearts.

It’s not easy, the Sahabah had to be reminded of this as well.

But let it be a journey, it doesn’t have to be perfect, and change won’t happen overnight. Just take one sincere step at a time, and trust in Allah’s plan.

Lastly, Allah says:

أَمْ حَسِبْتُمْ أَن تَدْخُلُوا۟ ٱلْجَنَّةَ وَلَمَّا يَعْلَمِ ٱللَّهُ ٱلَّذِينَ جَـٰهَدُوا۟ مِنكُمْ وَيَعْلَمَ ٱلصَّـٰبِرِينَ

Do you think you will enter Paradise without Allah proving which of you ˹truly˺ struggled ˹for His cause˺ and patiently endured?

3:142

If we want Jannah, we have to struggle and endure as we face the trials of this dunya.

This dunya will only feel like a part of a day, whereas the hereafter is eternal.

We can live comfortably for a short period of time and neglect our akhira as a result.

Or, we can make some short lived sacrifices and get eternal bliss in return.

This is the reality we all have to be aware of.

I started by reassuring you that your mistakes doesn’t define you, that endless guilt isn’t the answer, and moving on is necessary.

But that’s just the beginning, with every mistake and every sin made, we must give ourselves a chance to reflect and be aware. No matter how uncomfortable it may be. It’s through these realizations that we get to understand ourselves on a deeper level and know what we have to work on.

Life will feel better once we treat these trials as opportunities that facilitate our growth. This becomes possible when we detach our hearts from the dunya and we seek Allah’s help, mercy, and guidance.

I pray all of us are made aware of our weaknesses so we may work on them, and that Allah guides us on His straight path to Jannah.

وَٱلَّذِينَ جَـٰهَدُوا۟ فِينَا لَنَهْدِيَنَّهُمْ سُبُلَنَا ۚ وَإِنَّ ٱللَّهَ لَمَعَ ٱلْمُحْسِنِينَ

As for those who struggle in Our cause, We will surely guide them along Our Way. And Allah is certainly with the good-doers.

29:69

I read it everyday, stayed consistent. I was hasty, I wanted results fast. But nothing happened, or at least I wasn’t aware of what was going on.

My duas weren’t answered the way I imagined, my problems didn’t go away, the doors of rizq didn’t open for me, I didn’t feel any better. In fact, I broke down. I felt disoriented and lost.

I had faith that good would come out of it so I kept reading it, but a part of me was waiting tirelessly for life to change over night.

Throughout my confusion and weakness, I began to have reflections that I have never had before.

I realized that I am filled with fear, that I demand control in the face uncertainty, that I am anxious when things don’t go my way. Slowly, I became ultra aware of all my major flaws, ones that I was oblivious to but were secretly controlling me.

I was living in a way that didn’t befit a Muslimah, who has Allah planning all her affairs and taking care of her in every way. This shocked me, all this time I thought I was religious but the constant anxiety in my chest and the endless thoughts roaming my mind proved otherwise.

This was a humbling experience to say the least and it made me rethink everything.

As uncomfortable as it was, I cannot deny that this was a mercy of Allah, that He was purifying me and preparing me for what is about to come.

After three weeks of consistent reading, the confusion slowly turned into clarity and the anxiety faded away and stillness replaced it.

My mind became clear and I felt like I truly surrendered myself to Allah’s will. I came to terms with the fact that this life won’t go my way, but it will go according to Allah’s plan which is always better.

I still struggle with a worried mind and a tight chest, but I constantly remind my self that my lord is taking care of me and that’s enough, it will always be enough.

Simply being aware made the biggest difference, and being mindful allowed me to catch myself before I act from a place of fear or worry.

And subhanallah, after having all these realizations, experiencing a shift in mindset, a purification of my heart

My duas were answered.

The doors of rizq opened, and Allah gave me what I asked for and more; He gave me what I needed and better than I could ever imagine.

I witnessed Ar-Razaq (The Ultimate Provider), Al-Kareem (The Most Generous), Al-Lateef (The Most Subtle), and Ar-Rahman (The Most Merciful).

I witnessed Allah’s gentleness, patience, and forbearance with me as He was guiding me through all of this.

And that’s better than having any dua answered.

Allah could have given me what I wanted from the beginning, but it is out His Love that He delayed it. Because I got to know Him in the process.

It made me realize everything is a blessing. We are all just too busy to notice and appreciate, and once we start noticing, and truly living in the moment; that is when we begin to know ourselves and fall in love with Allah.

That is when change will happen, it won’t happen in the way we expect, but whoever takes a step towards Allah, Allah takes ten steps towards them.

This is a reminder to myself and to you, that when Allah delays something for us, there is wisdom.

Maybe we aren’t ready.

Maybe if we got what we wanted, it would corrupt our hearts and we lose ourselves.

Maybe if we got what we wanted, it would weaken us and we would fall for Shaitan’s whispers.

And if we are led astray, then what’s the point? Of the degree, the job, the spouse?

What is the point of it all if we don’t know our creator?

Allah manages our affairs in the best of ways, so we can get the good of this world without sacrificing our hereafter.

He knows every thought that crosses your mind, every emotion consuming your heart, every dream you have, He knows what is at stake.

He will take care of us. That is what He promised, we just have to trust in Him.

This is your sign to read Surah Al-Baqarah, and be consistent even when life isn’t unfolding the way you want.

Because it will always unfold according to Allah’s plan, and He is the best of planners.