I have sinned through all my senses, both inwardly and outwardly, in word, in deed and in thought. My sin is great, very great, and I repent of it most sincerely, purposing not to fall again into the same ever, preferring death rather than embrace sin.

In the Greek Orthodox church of my husband, the prayer of confession sounds in part like this:

I believe, O Lord, and I confess that You are truly the Christ, the Son of the living God, Who came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the first. I believe also that this is truly Thine own pure Body and that this is truly Thine own precious Blood. Therefore, I pray Thee, have mercy upon me, and forgive my transgressions, both voluntary and involuntary, in word and in deed, in knowledge or in ignorance.

I prayed a prayer of confession in the evangelical world as well before partaking of the Lord’s Supper, which here is entirely viewed as a memorial meal, not the Body and Blood of Christ, of course. But the prayer was there. Yet, in retrospect, it was almost always a call to introspection of what I had done wrong. And I had to trust that God forgives me. Well, wait. He had already when I turned to Him in faith and prayed that prayer initially. I was recently chastised by a friend for making Protestantism sound too simplistic, but in all fairness, I encountered exactly this in many places of church life.

Back to the topic at hand. I never felt that there was a sort of “release” before I partook of the Lord’s Supper. Fast-forward to the Orthodox world, and when I have said that prayer after an hour of listening to psalms, litanies, the Gospel and epistle readings, my heart and soul are ready for that prayer of confession. And while the priest in my husband’s Greek Orthodox church does not respond directly after the faithful pray, my Syriac Orthodox priest does. In both churches, I feel a release from the burden of my sin. Why?

I have been to confession whenever possible (my Father Confessor is in Germany), and I have prepared my heart throughout the week by praying my prayers as often as humanly possible. Each set of prayers is a fresh reminder of my need for repentance. But why repent?

It is not because I fear God might smite me, but it is because I know He intends to heal me from the horrible sin nature that was originally part of me. With Adam's fall, this sin nature has been passed along to every human being after him. Christ came so that by His death, He could conquer death.

In the faithfulness we show to this good news by being baptized and chrismated, and partaking of the Body and Blood of Christ, we now have been given this beautiful gift of growing ever more closely to Him and becoming more and more like Him. Death has been defeated. We can live in Him!

Being Orthodox is truly life-giving. Glory to God for all things, including the fact that I am reminded every day of just how wretched a sinner I am, and yet of how much Christ loves me. Repentance is not hard when it is our way of life. Repentance does, however, require our truthfulness to both ourselves and our confessor. And let me just say… some of my sin is u-u-u-u-g-l-y! Yet, as we see above, repentance brings life. Why is that? We serve a God who loves mankind. Glory alleluia!

From the Sutoro of Monday from the Daily Husoye, shared with me by Dayroyo Abrohom from Holy Cross Syriac Orthodox Monastery in Sayednaya, Syria (tawdi!):

Promiyon: Praise... to the good Lord, who has compassion on sinners and takes pleasure in those who repent and turn to Him; to the rich one, who loves the poor who beg from Him and rejoices in those who knock at His door…

Sedro: God, who are the fountain of goodness to those who knock at the door of repentance and beg for the mercy of Your grace; we in our weakness beg and beseech You in penitence; have compassion on us. Lord, in mercy, not in anger, make us turn from error and watch over us. Lord, bind us by Your pure and holy love that we may seek and love and cleave to You alone; and when we have received deliverance from our sins, make us worthy of the crowns of the workers of justice; and there we will offer You praise and thanksgiving, now and always and forever, Amin.

I, for one, am eternally grateful that our repentance leads to life.

Subscribe now

Showing ourselves approved. Wow. That’s a deep subject. As I was pondering a conversation I had earlier today with the dean of our Syriac Orthodox St. John’s Theological Seminary, Rev. Fr. Dr. Jacob Joseph, I was reminded of this verse. As a former evangelical, I still remember certain phrases from certain Bible translations well. This is one of them. To show myself approved. To show ourselves approved. Unto God. Unto God. How can I even imagine showing myself approved unto God.

In words traditionally attributed to St. Ephrem the Syrian, he also exhorts his listeners with the reminder used as today’s title: “Lord who can grasp all the wealth of just one of your words.” And even more so, how can we put all those words into the context of our beautiful Holy Qurobo, the Divine Liturgy of our ancient Syriac Orthodox Church of Antioch? This generation and the ones to follow need to be taught about the "Hidden Pearl” of the Syriac Orthodox Church of Antioch, and how since the time of the early Church (see Acts 11:26) she has faithfully transmitted the faith of our Lord and God Jesus Christ.

Just today, I finally finished a book by Dr. Jeannie Constantinou called Thinking Orthodox. Dr. Constantinou is an accomplished biblical scholar. In her work, she discussed the Orthodox phronema, or mindset, attitude, or worldview. It is a Greek word, used heavily in Eastern Orthodoxy, that describes an inner way of thinking and a deep personal stance that shapes how a person lives and acts. Much of what Orthodox Christians believe, whether Eastern Orthodox or Oriental Orthodox, ultimately relates to this particular mindset. Much of how we live our lives as Orthodox Christians is (or at least should be) based on this worldview.

Dr. Constantinou spends a good deal of time warning those wanting to theologize, or rather to offer any kind of opinion on matters of the Orthodox faith, that they should not do so unless sufficiently prepared and aware of the audience’s needs and ability to understand or “digest” at the moment of discussion. She draws on many Orthodox thinkers, both those read in both the Oriental Orthodox and Eastern Orthodox worlds and those from post-Chalcedonian times, as read primarily by the Eastern Orthodox Church.

All of this has me in deep thought about how we can shape the hearts and minds of those enrolling at St. John’s Theological Seminary, both today and in the future. I will be teaching a class there starting in the fall semester, and I am keenly aware that our teaching cannot simply be what is found in an evangelical seminary, which I attended. There, the focus is Sola Scriptura. Yet for us Syriac Orthodox, the teaching has to be in the framework of our Syriac Orthodox liturgy.

St. John’s Theological Seminary was only launched last year. St. John's Theological Seminary was officially inaugurated on September 16, 2025, by His Holiness Moran Mor Ignatius Aphrem II, Patriarch of Antioch and All the East. The historic ceremony took place at the Mor Aphrem Center in Paramus, New Jersey, establishing the first Syriac Orthodox seminary in North America. Its vision is stated as such:

St. John’s Theological Seminary envisions becoming a leading theological institution with a special focus on Orthodoxy, particularly Syriac Orthodox theology within the Oriental Orthodox tradition. It is committed to addressing the challenges of the contemporary world through an Orthodox lens and to cultivating a spirituality grounded in a non-dual perspective.

The reality is, we have only just begun. The Opening Day Ceremony was held on Tuesday, January 20, 2026. Our first cohort is entering their second semester. Today, I heard that we have a solid number for our second cohort. The students are from around the globe. The teaching is conducted online, enabling everyone to participate. Our faculty includes truly exciting academics. The accreditations are happening one after another. A credit transfer program in the making will allow our students to continue their education at other universities. Our Patriarch is committed. He will (tentatively) attend the graduation ceremony for the first cohort.

This is truly exhilarating for all of us in the Syriac Orthodox academic realm. Other Orthodox traditions have old, well-established seminaries that produce clergy and trained laypeople who support the mission of the Church. This is what we want to see also for our Syriac Orthodox men and women. Personally, I couldn’t be more excited!

But here is the reality: These other well-established seminaries have generous donors who help establish critical funds that allow them to build strong and attractive programs. Now is the time for our Syriac Orthodox community around the globe to step up and show that sharing the Good News of Jesus Christ within the context of our beautiful Syriac Orthodox Church of Antioch truly matters to their very hearts and souls.

Would you accept my invitation to serve as the ambassador for this new educational opportunity for our faithful within your own parish? Would you point others to the seminary website - https://sjtseminary.org? Would you pray for St. John’s Theological Seminary and all the students, faculty, and staff? And would you prayerfully consider giving? This truly inspiring vision of a seminary for our Church can grow if all the people of the Lord serve together, in whichever way possible, just like St. Peter’s mother-in-law served the Lord and His Apostles when He healed her.

Subscribe now

The Dormition Fast is an odd one for our Protestant friends. In the Protestant church, Mary plays a minor role except at Christmas. Then her image (icon?) is prominent in nativity sets and church plays. So how does she become so prominent that Orthodox declare to know about her death and translation to Heaven? Dionysius the Areopagite gives us a clue:

"For even among our inspired Hierarchs, when as thou knowest, we with him [i.e. an Athenian priest named Hierotheos] and many of our holy brethren met together to behold that mortal body [i.e. of Mary], Source of Life that received the Incarnate God, and James the brother of God [i.e. James of Jerusalem] was there, and Peter the chief and highest of the Sacred Writers, and then, having beheld it, all the Hierarchs there present celebrated, according to the power of each, the omnipotent goodness of the Divine weakness [i.e. that God should become man]. On that occasion, I say, he [i.e. Hierotheos] surpassed all the Initiates except for the Divine Writers, yea, he was wholly transported, was wholly outside of himself, and was so moved by a communion with those Mysteries he was celebrating, that all who heard him and saw him and knew him (or rather knew him not) deemed him to be rapt of God and a divine hymnographer." -- On the Divine Names, 3, 2

In the Odes of Solomon, a collection of 42 odes written between AD 70 and 125, most likely by a Jewish convert from the Essene community to Christianity, and arguably written in Syriac in the original, we read in a precursor to later writings:

The son is the cup
And the father is He who was milked;
And the Holy Spirit is she who milked him...
The womb of the Virgin took it
And she received conception and gave birth.
So the Virgin became a mother with great mercies.
And she labored and bore the Son, but without pain,
Because it did not occur without purpose.
And she did not require a midwife,
Because He caused her to give life.

St. Ephrem the Syrian, who reposed in AD 373, wrote in a number of his hymns about the Virgin. Here are a few passages:

Mary has given us bread of rest
In place of that bread of toil which Eve provided.
…
Your womb escaped the pangs of the curse.
By means of the serpent came the pains of the female;
Shamed be the Foul one, on seeing that his pangs
Are not found in your womb!
…
In its brightness I beheld the Bright One Who cannot be clouded,
And in its pureness a great mystery,
Even the Body of Our Lord which is well-refined:
In its undividedness I saw the Truth
Which is undivided.
…
Thy goodly conception was without seed,
And without wedlock was thy pure generation,
And without brethren was thy single birth.

Her parents Joachim and Anna are known to us because of the Protoevangelium of James, written around AD 150. This text is not considered canonical, yet it gives insights into the early life of the Mother of God. You can read it here. It is truly a fascinating read. While not in the Bible, it shaped Orthodox understanding of the perpetual virginity of the Virgin Mary.

This also is something that my Protestant friends cannot comprehend. The Bible talks about siblings of Christ. In Matthew 13:55-56 we read: “Is not this the carpenter’s son? Is not his mother called Mary? And are not his brothers James and Joseph and Simon and Judas? And are not all his sisters with us? Where then did this man get all this?” Likewise, Mark 6:3 tells us: “Isn’t this the carpenter? Isn’t this Mary’s son and the brother of James, Joseph, Judas and Simon? Aren’t his sisters here with us?” And they took offense at him."

In Orthodox teaching, St. Mary stayed a perpetual virgin, i.e., her marriage to Joseph indeed remained chaste. What are called brothers and sisters in the Middle East are often cousins since there were no distinct words for those familial relationships in that day. This page discusses some of the difficulties in understanding.

This is just the tiniest tasting of what is available in writings on the Virgin Mary. But discussing these fineries of hermeneutics is really not the point of this post. I want to circle back around to the Virgin and why we fast. To us, she is the one we seek out for help right after Christ. Think about who was at the right hand of the king in the Old Testament. It was his mother. The same with Christ. He specifically sought out the Virgin Mary. She was not a random girl. Everything had prepared her to receive and bear the holy Seed, Christ our King.

Today, we received an email with a reflection by Metropolitan Gerasimos of the Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of San Francisco (my husband’s bishop). You can see it in its entirety here. In it, he writes about this feast and fast season:

We come to this feast in a world that is exhausted. In 2026, we do not need to look far to find suffering: wars that have dragged on for years continue to take innocent lives; divisions within nations and between peoples grow sharper with each passing season; the pace of change, technological, social, and cultural, leaves many feeling disoriented, as though the ground beneath them has shifted. Anxiety has become the defining condition of our age. It is in precisely this moment that the Church holds before us the icon of the Dormition of the Theotokos, and she says to us: Do not be afraid.

Look at the icon. The Apostles, scattered throughout the world, have been gathered miraculously to Mary’s side. Surrounding her, they weep, they pray, they incense her body. In the center of the icon, Christ Himself stands in radiant glory, holding a small child clothed in white, the soul of His Mother, pure and luminous. The imagery is deliberate: this is not a scene of defeat. It is a scene of divine escort. She who bore the Light of the World is now borne into that same Light. The Church, in all its scattered members, is drawn together around her. Unity, love, and prayer prevail. In a year when so much in our world pulls us apart, this icon speaks to us of a different kind of gathering, one we are called to embody.

There is so much more I haven’t shared about the miraculous events around her falling asleep, how the Apostles were called back by Christ to Jerusalem, and how He received her bodily into Heaven. If you want to learn more about the Virgin Mary, read this by the late Patriarch of the Syriac Orthodox Church, H.H. Zakka I Iwas.

As a Syriac Orthodox Christian, I love St. Mary with all my heart, mind, and soul, and I treasure this period of fasting that leads me to the heart of God. I began on Wednesday with a visit to two monasteries here in Arizona, where I was able to participate in prayers. On Friday, I had my confession with my spiritual father. That evening, our godson and another young man came over to our house, and we sang the Paraklesis of the Dormition of the Mother of God (a beautiful Eastern Orthodox set of prayers) in our icon corner.

I want to invite you to take this fast seriously if you are Orthodox. I notice that many of my brothers and sisters seem to have slacked off in their ascetic practices, and it is urgent that our Church teach again the essence of why we do this. The spiritual growth we can derive from fasting is immense. Glory to God! Christ is in our midst. He is and ever shall be.

Subscribe now

Merriam-Webster defines “cosplay” as “the activity or practice of dressing up as a character from a work of fiction.” Wikipedia expands on this:

A cosplay (a portmanteau of "costume play") is the activity and performance art in which participants called cosplayers wear costumes and fashion accessories to represent a specific character. Cosplayers often interact to create a subculture, and a broader use of the term "cosplay" applies to any costumed role-playing in venues apart from the stage. Any entity that lends itself to dramatic interpretation may be taken up as a subject.

Why am I providing you with this definition? It appears that the longer I am Orthodox, the more I see cosplaying in the allegedly Orthodox realm. I already wrote about it a while back:

One deceptive “Orthodox” church I recently came across right here in our hometown. They are advertising themselves as being an Orthodox church, but they are under no one’s canonical authority. So they may cosplay Orthodox, but at the end of the day, they are fooling the faithful.

Today, I want to take it into a slightly different direction though: AI, or Artificial Intelligence. You must truly live under a rock if you haven’t encountered AI in your everyday life yet. Just ask a question on Google. Have Outlook give you an often rather useless summary of an email. Even my Ring camera has recently been sending me a summary of the type of unusual motion it detected at our house. Now, those are actually useful. I can make out whether I need to act quickly rather than just ignore the alert, such as when I know my husband is on the front patio snipping rose bushes.

I use AI in my work at the university as well to develop materials to teach. Prezi, e.g., created beautiful slide decks with gorgeous transitions from content you feed it with the click of a button. If I have to redistribute my syllabus across a different number of weeks for a new semester, AI makes light work of those tasks. I am not anti-AI, just to make sure that’s clear.

Okay, so AI exists and is everywhere. What does that have to do with finding cosplaying Orthodox? And further, what use does it have for actual Orthodox? One of the people I enjoy interacting with quite a bit is Father Michael Vallecillo. He is an Eastern Orthodox priest here in Arizona, and I know him from seeing him and his family at my husband’s church a few times. I don’t always agree with his thoughts, especially when it comes to Oriental Orthodoxy, but I truly value many of his posts on “current affairs” in the Orthodox world, which I read on his Facebook account.

I often reach out to Father Michael when I have found yet another apparently fake Orthodox Facebook/Instagram/YouTube/website account. I have taught myself a lot of detection tricks, with some being more obvious than others. Once I am reasonably certain someone is not canonically Orthodox, I ask Father Michael for his opinion. He usually concurs. He has written about it himself: AI iconography or other imagery is often a dead giveaway.

If you haven’t seen it, AI iconography seems to be pretty much everywhere these days. And there are some that have drawn quite large Facebook followings who exemplify an enormous use of AI, and yet, one can voice very reasonable doubt about their legitimacy in their declaration to be Orthodox clergy. One particularly (to me) egregious example can be seen in the photos here. So this all points to something - what appears to me - almost sinister.

But what if the AI use is to support true Orthodox messaging to the faithful? I am a bit torn on this one. There is a new series of short videos that I actually appreciate. It is targeted at our younger ones (or those young at heart). In it, two cartoon AI characters, representing a Syriac Orthodox nun and monk, explain the offices and tools used in the Syriac Orthodox Church. You may have seen it here. Imperfect though it may be, it seems to be a good use of AI to develop learning tools.

One apparent AI use that I truly struggle with (sorry to those who put this together… I love you, and you worked very hard to put it together… please forgive me… I just don’t care for it) is this year’s Syriac Orthodox calendar here in the US. To be brutally honest, the images give me a sort of Jehovah’s Witnesses vibe. You can see the calendar here. It is tremendously useful to me as a Syriac Orthodox Christian. Yet, I am fairly certain AI was at work here.

It is impressive what AI can generate, and I have plenty of examples of that from my own playing around. Here is one of my more recent AI creations, after our visit to Montana where a gentleman in his sixties was tossed in the air by a bison at Yellowstone National Park (thank God, he is okay, although he broke his femur in four places when he crashed down again). In a bit lighthearted reflection on this event - just days before we visited Yellowstone - I thought I’d make an image of my husband Nick in that position using AI when a bison decided to follow him at the park.

The real images:

AI’s version of Nick's encounter.

So yes, it’s crazy how realistic the image is that a simple command line can produce with an AI tool. But going back to the Syriac Orthodox calendar for 2026, I have to challenge the decision and ask, “Why?” We have so many beautiful manuscript illuminations for our liturgical year and also images of our saints that are accessible from the Department of Syriac Studies website.

Just look at some of these glorious icons:

I was so excited to see some of this beautiful iconography appear in large icons in the nave of the church at Dayro d’Mor Jakob and also in one of the smaller chapels there.

To wrap up, this is really a plea that we give AI the place it is due to make our daily tasks easier, but that we do not let AI take over what God gifted humans to create: painting beautiful iconography that declares the good news of Jesus Christ conquering death by His own death! We need to provide our faithful with the critical thinking tools to detect falsity in what they view. And to add Father Michael’s warning to this: “AI will kill all art and critical thinking.”

Subscribe now

I was beginning my research in all earnestness for my PhD dissertation, which would eventually carry the very long title of “The Impact of Post-1960s Immigration to Germany on the Self-Perception and Religious Experience of Aramean Families of Syriac Orthodox Faith."

I had landed in Germany shortly before that sunny May day, and had now received my first confirmation for an interview with a member of the Syriac Orthodox Church at Mor Had Bschabo Syriac Orthodox Church in Pohlheim-Hausen, Germany. It wasn’t a priest I would be interviewing, which disappointed me a bit, but because, as I later found out, the local priest’s German wasn’t very good, the deacon of the church would meet with me. My sister had arranged the meeting via an acquaintance, a local ice cream shop owner who was also a member of the Syriac Orthodox Church.

So in I walked with great trepidation. I had been in an Eastern Orthodox church before (usually for weddings or funerals in my husband’s family), but never in a Syriac Orthodox church. I met Mshamshono (or Deacon) Yuhanun Savci. Some of this initial meeting with him I have described before, so I won't repeat it. You can read it here:

I know I wrote also here about Mshamshono Yuhanun Savci, whom I met that day.

So rather than repeat the initial story of our meeting, I wanted to share a bit of what I see having come out of this initial meeting now over four years ago. Just yesterday, July 22nd, I congratulated Mshamshono Yuhanun on the eighth anniversary of his being ordained a full deacon in the Syriac Orthodox Church. I didn’t know him then, but I have seen pictures from that day when His Eminence Mor Philoxenus Mattias Nayis raised him to the level of clergy.

A full deacon or Mshamshono Evangeloyo (“Gospel Deacon”) is the lowest rank of the clergy in the Orthodox world. While their role is limited in comparison to a priest, they are able to do a lot of things a subdeacon wouldn’t be able to do, e.g., receive the blessing to proclaim the Holy Gospel during the Holy Qurobo, carry the Gospel Book in procession, or chant the Gospel from the ambo or sanctuary according to local custom. At the altar, he might stand inside the sanctuary throughout the Anaphora and assist the priest directly during the Eucharistic sacrifice, or assist in the distribution of Holy Communion.

Now, typically, in the Orthodox world, a man is ordained deacon on his way to becoming a priest. There are men who remain deacons for a number of reasons. Likewise, in Mshamshono Yuhanun’s case, he remains a deacon. I am writing this hesitantly because I would love to see him ordained to the priesthood. Let me tell you why.

I have known him for over four years now. He was instrumental in my path to holy Orthodoxy. The many conversations we had were key to my changing my mind on what constitutes the true faith. He would pepper me with documents to read and review and then quiz me on whether I had understood them. He would connect me to other people to speak to when I had various questions, and he felt they were better equipped to help me in that particular area.

Just today, I was speaking with a mutual friend, and I mentioned that I don’t typically call him Mshamshono or Malphono (meaning, an authoritative teacher of the faith), Yuhanun, but just Yuhanun. That is not because I don't respect him, his office, or his accomplishments (he has published a ton of books), even though he often accuses me of that when we joke around 😀.

Yuhanun has become much more than a deacon or a teacher to me. He has become a mission-critical part of this convert’s life and, even more so, a friend that is closer than a brother (thank you, King Solomon, for giving me the words). I honestly feel that we are bonded for life because of the connection we have built over our shared faith. Without him, I doubt I would have understood half of what I wanted to learn about the Syriac Orthodox Church. Now these learnings have deeply shaped me as a follower of our Lord.

In return, though, I have often given him unsolicited feedback on the difficulties I perceive in the Syriac Orthodox Church. At first, after we had met, his answers may have been dismissive (and honestly, we had many fights along the way), but now I often notice that he takes what I say into consideration. I have seen him soften on a number of stances and begin to rethink other questions, based on our conversations.

In particular, on the topic of the role of women in the church, I appreciate his becoming an advocate for women in many areas. He will often come back now and say, “Elke, it can be ascribed to tradition.” Small t tradition, not Holy Tradition. And here we meet. Whether or not something will change in my lifetime, I can’t say. But I love to have a brother in Christ who will listen and respond with love and patience. There are many areas where the body of Christ could be strengthened by returning women to meaningful participation in the life of the church beyond cooking amazing meals and singing beautifully in the Holy Qurobo.

Having said all that, my daily prayer is that he would be ordained as a priest in our holy Syriac Orthodox Church sooner rather than later. His contribution to not just my spiritual development but that of many other Elkes or even just younger people within our church could be immeasurable in the life of the Church in Germany and neighboring European countries. His knowledge of the faith, the Syriac language, and the Syriac liturgy is phenomenal, and it shows.

Nick and I were able to have dinner with Yuhanun and his lovely wife, Julyet, last year when we were in Germany, and we would be so honored to be invited to another dinner to celebrate Yuhanun’s ordination. (Hint, hint, Sayedna Mattias!)

This is not my usual post, but it’s an important one to me to make sure you understand the deep impact this deacon has had on my life. May the Lord raise up many more Mshamshone like him. Please pray with me that the Lord would see fit to elevate him to the priesthood and that we would get to rejoice with him and Julyet and their family!

Subscribe now

I believe the Christian love we share is real. However, we have had a number of conversations about Nick and my move to Orthodoxy since we were received (or came back, in Nick’s case) in January 2023. The most recent discussion was via chat, when I sent this brother a link to one of the more recent Ancient Faith Today Live episodes, in which Fr. Thomas Soroka discussed “Beyond Imputation: Justification in Orthodoxy.” You can see the video recording here:

My dear friend sent me back a long message, responding to Fr. Tom’s video. Here are a few excerpts. I will try to answer them as best as I can. Again, these are excerpts. Also, I have italicized his response and adjusted a couple of items for readability.

“He is either ignorant or intentionally deceptive. He sets up straw man after straw man based on snippets of sermons/teaching. What he says evangelicals believe, “Protestants” as he sneers in branding them (I prefer Biblicist myself) is nothing I have heard from R.C. Sproul, John Piper, etc.”

I'll have to disagree with my friend here. While, yes, these are just short snippets that are featured, I listened to these men (R.C. Sproul, John Piper, John MacArthur, Paul Washer) for many years when I was an evangelical, and these snippets do represent their teaching. They were (some have left us), and are, all Reformed in their approach to the Bible, and this teaching clearly reflects these leanings. My friend is a Baptist and has been all his life, so naturally, he will interpret biblical passages in a more Baptist light. I have spent time (briefly) in an Assemblies of God church, non-denominational (and rather baptistic in nature) churches, an Evangelical Presbyterian Church. (EPC) church, and a Lutheran church affiliated with both the North American Lutheran Church (NALC) and Lutheran Congregations in Mission for Christ (LCMC). During these times, my preferences in listening to certain preachers changed, of course, but the snippets that Fr. Tom chose are not untrue or uncharacteristic.

“He makes the doctrine of justification a caricature. The way he describes it denies the richness—the depth and breadth of salvation. Justification is but one dimension of salvation. It deals with the penalty of sin—a past accomplished event that puts us in right standing with God.”

My dear friend feels that Fr. Tom is making fun of Protestants. I am not sure I can agree. He is simply explaining to Orthodox what Protestant beliefs are and highlighting that Orthodox have a very different understanding. In the Orthodox view, the term "justification" is not used. What my friend explains is the juridical understanding of Protestant theology, in which salvation is a point in time, i.e., when a person prays to ask Christ for forgiveness and to receive Him as Lord. My friend’s statement also highlights the further disconnect between Protestantism and Orthodoxy as to the work of Christ. To an Orthodox Christian, Christ conquered death by His own voluntary death, conquered sin, the devil, and Hades, all to restore mankind to communion with God. So if anything, this offers humanity a new beginning, not a past event.

“But, I also preach sanctification—that is a present work of Christ. It deals with the power of sin, that is both a present act and progressive action.”

Likewise, “sanctification" is not a concept that Orthodoxy speaks about. In the Orthodox understanding, we speak of kenosis, Christ’s self-emptying in His incarnation, without ever giving up His divinity. This He did in self-giving love and perfect obedience. To the Orthodox faithful, theosis is the life-long process, in which we, through God’s grace and participation in the life of Christ by the Holy Spirit, are more and more united with God and transformed into His likeness. We never become divine ourselves in this process. The goal is to be united wholly to God.

“Salvation also has a promised dimension—a future assurance of glorification—saved to sin no more. This is not even getting to the doctrine of regeneration and adoption.”

As a former evangelical, I can assuredly say that I never felt I was “saved to sin no more.” Sin abounded in all reality. As an Orthodox Christian, I have no assurance of salvation, but at the same time, I never feel fearful of meeting the God who loves me so much. It is because of the journey of theosis that I am on daily (and again, very different from my Protestant days), that I encounter my own repugnant sin in my life, can humble myself again and again, and offer it to God to forgive and heal me. Every day in the Orthodox morning prayers, Psalm 51 (50 in the Septuagint) is included. Every morning, I ask God again and again to forgive my sin, to wash me clean, to heal me, and to restore to me the joy of my salvation. Here is a great read on why Orthodox don’t discuss the question “Are you saved?"

Joshua

I’m a Christian and I’m not saved

If you grew up in a Protestant church, or if you have recently been introduced to Christianity, you have likely encountered a very common, standard question: "Are you saved…

Read more

2 months ago · 70 likes · 12 comments · Kenosis before Theosis

“He mocks those who offer a get out of hell free card.” I have been scorning that for years! That is not the Gospel I preach. I preach the whole counsel of God—including the Gospels, Ephesians, and not just Romans and Galatians. There is not contradiction in any of it, by the way—rather a glorious harmony.”

My dear Friend, I simply can no longer follow you on this journey of thought. How can I have had this juridical moment in time where I have been forgiven my sin past, present, and future (my “salvation”), and yet you seem to indicate that wasn’t enough? Are we not back to telling men and women they need to follow God’s commandments, as given in the pages of the New Testament through the Gospels and the other New Testament books? I must believe you mean that you teach that

• saving faith produces obedience (James 2:14–26),

• believers are called to pursue holiness (Hebrews 12:14),

• sanctification is the expected evidence of regeneration, and

• the moral law reflects God’s character, even though Christians are no longer under the Mosaic covenant as a means of justification.

If that is what you mean, we Orthodox actually agree on several points. The first two for sure. The third one would not be described with this term of “sanctification,” or as evidence of regeneration; rather, the new life in Christ begins for an Orthodox believer in baptism and continues throughout life as an ongoing transformation. On the final point, we would largely agree, but nuance it a bit. Rather than viewing external rule-keeping, Orthodoxy will point to inward transformation.

“He promotes the false teaching of baptismal regeneration—that a dunk in water will wash your sins away and you get a white robe—and booyah—you’re saved! Yet, our righteousness is as filthy rags!”

Orthodoxy baptizes infants because baptism is understood primarily as God’s gift, not a reward for an individual’s profession of faith. It is understood that baptism is not an isolated event that guarantees salvation. Rather, it marks the beginning of the Christian life. St. Paul wrote in Galatians 3:27, “As many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ.” This verse is central to an Orthodox understanding of baptism. We are given a new birth, in which we are united to Christ, forgiven of our sins, received into the Church, and can now start the lifelong journey of theosis. In the Orthodox view, we inherit Adam’s mortality, corruption, and a propensity to sin, but not his personal guilt. Baptism heals this fallen condition and unites us to Christ by imparting new life. When you hear Orthodox faithful pray “Moryo ethraḥam ’alayn” or “Kyrie eleison” (“Lord, have mercy”) again and again, it is not because they are asking God to stop being angry, but to heal them through His loving and life-bringing presence.

My friend concluded, “I do not understand the appeal except for those always looking for some new shiny thing (new to you, though it is false teaching that has been around for millennia).” I am so happy that the truly life-giving Orthodox faith is anything but a false teaching.

I know that part of the conversation always goes to “the teaching was corrupted in the early centuries of Christianity.” Why yes, it was! That is why councils were called to root those out, and why we all agreed to the words of the Nicene-Constantinopolitan Creed!

I find, rather, that my Protestant friends often don’t realize how far outside of the faith they wander when they, e.g., state that the Virgin Mary is the Mother of Christ, rather than the Mother of God. That is one wrong teaching by Nestorius that was addressed as early as the Council of Ephesus in AD 431.

I am also grateful, time and again, to have these discussions because they remind me how important it is to clarify to each other what we mean with our terms. Love you, my dear Friend in North Carolina, and may the Lord make our paths cross again in real life very soon. I invite you to participate in consultations for the Lausanne-Orthodox Initiative: https://www.loimission.net. In the meantime, I am grateful to Fr. Thomas Soroka, who sparked this discussion between my friend and me.

Subscribe now

I knew I needed this spiritual downtime. I felt tired. I really desired a time to meet with God in a quiet place. When two friends agreed to go with me, we set off. The nuns at St. Paisius are the kindest and sweetest people. Even though I am not Eastern Orthodox, they treat me, the Oriental Orthodox, with the greatest respect. I had been there just for one night last June, but they remembered my visit and were happy I had returned. Outside of not being able to partake of the Eucharist (which, honestly, kills me 😩), I am treated just like any other pilgrim. It is refreshing after some not-so-wonderful encounters I had at another monastery.

When you are at the monastery, the expectation is that you take part in all prayers, starting at 5:30 am. Honestly, it made my heart happy. Since becoming Orthodox, I have an unrealized dream of being a nun. I even asked His Eminence Mor Philoxenus Mattias Nayis if I could be a nun at Dayro d’Mor Jakob should my husband suddenly die. He burst out laughing, and then he said, “May your husband live a long life, but yes." So there is hope. 😉 Just don’t tell my husband.

I had every intention of turning off my phone while there, or at least having as little outside interaction as possible, but I will admit that at the end of day one, I was checking my email. I was expecting an employment offer as a full-time assistant professor at Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University in Prescott, where I had been an adjunct for the past year. I had sent a counteroffer to their initial offer, and I had been waiting. Nothing on Wednesday. Nothing on Thursday morning.

I resigned myself to what it was: frustratingly, nothing yet. I refocused myself on God by reading a small book I had found in our women's guest quarters after breakfast. We would have time before going to the block at 3:30 pm, which includes Ninth Hour, Vespers, Dinner, and Small Compline. The book had a number of scenarios of hardship in life, and God was saying to the person, “This was from me.” And yet it was always for that person's good. I found that thought intriguing.

About 30 minutes before we left for evening prayers, I checked my email, and there it was! A new offer letter in my inbox. Still not quite what I had asked, but better than where we started. I texted my husband and asked his thoughts. I texted my teacher daughter and asked her thoughts. Finally, I turned to my friend Jan and asked her what I should do. Her answer is what every Christian should be told frequently when they are too dumb or too excited to figure it out themselves: “Pray about it.”

Off to evening prayers we went. The sound in the church without any microphones makes it hard to hear the nuns’ and the priest’s prayers clearly. Since 60-70% was lost to my ears, I followed along as best I could, but my mind started drifting to the offer I had received just a few minutes before. Was this even the right step for us as a couple? Finally, I asked God: “Lord, what should I do? I need Your help.”

No sooner had I uttered this prayer than I heard a voice in my head: “I already gave you the answer this morning.” Now, let me tell you: I don’t usually hear voices in my head. But this was as clear as a bell. And again: “I already told you this morning.” What did that mean? I wasn’t quite sure. I went back to focusing on the prayers and the beautiful hymns the nuns were chanting.

And then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I suddenly remembered one of the last pages in the book. As soon as we were finished for the evening with prayers and dinner, I rushed back to our building and pulled out the book I had read from earlier in the day from the reading rack. Here is what it said:

Have you unexpectedly
been called to occupy a difficult and responsible position?

Go, relying on Me.
I entrust these difficulties to you, and for this, the Lord God will bless you in all your works, in all your paths; and in everything
your Guide and Teacher will be your Lord.

On this day I put into your hands
a vessel of sanctified oil.
Use it freely, My child.

Every difficulty that arises,
every insulting word,
every false accusation and condemnation,
every impediment in your work
that might elicit a feeling of vexation
or disappointment,
every revelation
of your weakness and inability—
let it be anointed with this oil.

This was from Me.

REMEMBER that every obstacle is a Divine lesson;
therefore, place in your heart
the words I have declared to you today:

This was from Me.

KEEP these words.
Know and remember
—always, wherever you may be—
that every sting will be softened
when you learn to see Me
in everything.

All has been sent by Me
for the perfecting of your soul.

All of this was from Me.

WOW. I get goosebumps even retelling the story. God showed Himself in a mighty way by speaking to me in this moment of need in this beautiful place of rest and prayer.

What I haven’t said yet is that I've been struggling internally with whether I am taking on too much, since I am also teaching a class at St. John’s Theological Seminary in the fall. In addition, during one of my interviews for the role at Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University, it was hinted that not everyone thought I was the best candidate for the job, since my PhD is in a different field than some of the classes I will be teaching. So I was dealing with imposter syndrome in a major way on top of that.

But God.

He truly is an amazing reality in my life, and I pray that if you have not encountered Him in a way that makes you completely trust and rely on His provisions for your life, you will come and see.

P.S. I also haven’t told you yet that I had bought a small bottle of anointing oil the day before at the monastery's bookstore. I drew the sign of the cross with it on my forehead as I was typing this, remembering God showing up for me in a very powerful way in the most beautiful setting of a Vespers prayer.

Subscribe now

With the blessing of both bishops, I am able to participate in both the Syriac Orthodox and the Greek Orthodox Eucharistic celebrations. As I mentioned before, my husband is Greek Orthodox, and his church, St. George Orthodox in Prescott, is 12 minutes from our house, compared to the 1:35 hours it takes me to get to my Syriac Orthodox church, St. Mary’s Syriac Orthodox Church, down in the Phoenix area.

Because of this, I have been granted by our good God a genuine insider view of both Orthodox traditions. One could even add the Coptic Orthodox Church, since my spiritual father is a Coptic Orthodox monk-priest, and I worship in that setting from time to time as well. Add to this my diverse background — Roman Catholic as a young child, evangelical for decades of my adult life in various denominations, such as non-denominational, Baptist, Presbyterian, and Lutheran — and it becomes clear that I can truly say I have been given “surround-sound, 3D” vision into all of these to one degree or another.

As usual, to give you a better understanding of who I am and where my opinions and perspectives originate, here is my life so far in a Venn diagram:

And here is my activity level across the Orthodox traditions I now engage with weekly, probably best explained by the fact that my husband’s church is 12 minutes from my house; however, my Syriac Orthodox Church is, as mentioned, a 1:35-hour drive. Also, my spiritual father and confessor is Coptic Orthodox, even though we rarely go into Coptic teaching per se, so I didn’t want to break that out too much:

Now on to the real reason for the post:

This past Sunday was Pentecost for Orthodox Christians, one week after the Western calendar. There are exceptions to this rhythm (e.g., the Jacobite Syriac Orthodox Church celebrated Pentecost on the same date as the Western church), but this is the calendar of the two churches I worship in.

And I simply wanted to share some of the similarities and differences I saw. I attended Divine Liturgy at my husband’s church, then drove to Phoenix to attend the Holy Qurobo for Pentecost and Kneeling Prayers at my church. Since my husband’s church did their Kneeling Vespers at 5 pm, I made it up the hill again in time to catch most of it. Ugh….catching my breath!

Here is Nick’s church on Pentecost:

Immediately after the Eucharist, I left early and drove to my church. These are photos from Pentecost at St. Mary’s Syriac Orthodox Church in Glendale, AZ:

The Holy Qurobo and the Kneeling Prayers were being performed together, interwoven into each other. After Abouna Abdelmesih and the altar servers knelt and tapped each other on the back with a finger to remind each other of the coming of the Holy Spirit (which happened less so for the faithful in attendance, just by observation), he blessed the congregation by sprinkling water on us (well…by dousing us pretty well 🤣 ). After the three Kneeling Prayers (more about them here) and sprinkling us, the Eucharist was distributed.

Typically, the Kneeling Prayers at Nick's church happen after the Divine Liturgy. However, last Sunday, Father Jeffrey switched it up and did the Kneeling Vespers at 5 pm. This allowed me to make it back almost in time. I walked in just as the first prayer was being offered. In the Greek Orthodox tradition, everyone definitely kneels, and the prayers tend to be longer. Three prayers with three kneelings, just as in the Syriac Orthodox Church, but no tapping each other on the back.

So, different ways of celebrating the Kneeling Prayers of Pentecost, but the reason is the same: we are committing ourselves to fasting and kneeling when we come before the Lord now, after Pentecost.

While the Greek Orthodox had a fast-free week after Pentecost, followed by the Apostles’ Fast starting this coming Monday through June 28, the Syriac Orthodox immediately returned to Wednesday and Friday fasting but will only fast the Apostles’ Fast for three days, June 26-28. The Coptic Orthodox already started the Apostles’ Fast this past Monday. This fast is in honor of the Feast Day of the Apostles Peter and Paul, celebrated on June 29.

It is interesting to note that the Syriac Orthodox Church originally began the Apostles’ Fast on the Monday after Pentecost and continued until the Feast of Saints Peter and Paul on June 29, making its length variable depending on the date of Pascha. This was the ancient Antiochian practice.

However, the fast was officially shortened by the Council (Synod) of Homs in 1946. The council decreed that the Apostles’ Fast would be observed only from June 26–28, immediately preceding the Feast of Saints Peter and Paul on June 29. Thus, it became a fixed three-day fast.

I will readily admit that I am not a fan of this, as it was usually done in response to the faithful complaining. Here, I will say that I am glad that my spiritual father asks me to fast with my husband on such occasions. The fast is something I have come to love. It is meaningful and makes a real difference in our spiritual life. I am very discouraged when I hear about so many people in my church not fasting, even during the already shortened times. Christ fasted - but we can’t? We should seriously examine our practices in light of this.

So many differences, yet so many similarities. Even after offering criticism of my church in the last paragraph, I love the Orthodox Church in whatever form I encounter it. The most meaningful aspect of my Christianity in Orthodoxy has been following a liturgical calendar that lets me participate in the life of Christ and the Church, including her feast and fast days.

Subscribe now

• St. Antonius Monastery, Kröffelbach, Hesse (Coptic Orthodox monastery):
  https://www.facebook.com/SaintAntoniusKloster

• Dayro d'Mor Jakob, Warburg, North Rhine-Westphalia (Syriac Orthodox monastery):
  https://www.facebook.com/DayroMorJakob

• Mor Had Bschabo Kirche, Pohlheim-Hausen, Hesse (Syriac Orthodox church):
  https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100076413724564

• Mor Eliyo Kirche, Pohlheim-Watzenborn Steinberg, Hesse (Syriac Orthodox church):
  https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100072275659795

I was able to visit with our archbishop of Germany, His Eminence Mor Philoxenus Mattias. Nayis, and to participate in the Holy Qurobo twice during that time since I unintentionally managed to be there on May 15^th, the Feast of the Virgin Mary of the Blessing of the Seeds, and for Sunday worship. In addition, I was able to take part in a regular evening Bible study launched by a friend, which regularly draws a large group of young adult Syriac Orthodox. Unlike other efforts, this one is unique, as it brings together not just one, but four large Syriac Orthodox churches. Since the university city of Gießen in the state of Hesse where I grew up has a large Syriac Orthodox population, I had ample opportunities to visit and to observe.

First, a funny story though: wherever I went, I was asked, “Aren’t you the one who has a social media presence?” I guess I didn’t realize it had spread that far. I also may have to record again. I had slowed down a bit due to work demands and just a feeling that I have so much more to learn about the intricacies and beauty of the Syriac Orthodox faith before opening my mouth too widely. I am grateful, though, to hear my content has helped people. Just recently, I sold an icon from my Etsy shop (syriacicons.etsy.com) to a young man in Switzerland, who told me he put it together after mentioning it to his mother, who listens to my content. Gotta love it. Maybe this is the way we build community in the mid-2020s?

My meeting with Sayedna Mattias was a very joyful reunion. It had been 15 months since my last visit to the monastery, and it is truly a great blessing to be able to visit. We had a very productive conversation about what we are working on in the US regarding an English-language mission model for our Church. He shared with me how happy he was about the collaboration among the four parishes in the Gießen area, which are now working together to hold the bi-weekly Bible study. He commented glowingly on my dear friend Gabriel Durmaz. Gabriel is the brainchild behind this Bible study. I remember telling Sayedna about Gabriel and his heart for Christ, probably almost three years ago. I can’t wait to see where God plans on taking him for His cause.

The evening before, I had the opportunity to take part in the Bible study that week at my home parish of Mor Had Bschabo. It was attended by a good number of young faithful, probably around seventy to eighty. It is absolutely delightful to see the interest in this group to faithfully study the Scriptures. The night I attended, they were studying through a chapter in the Gospel of St. Mark together with Gabriel and Abouna Kenan Be Josef, the priest of Mor Barsaumo in Pohlheim-Garbenteich. This Bible study has gained such interest that an additional study was started for alternating weeks, focusing on 1 John.

I remember my dear friend Gülcan and I having the conversation with Gabriel to do Bible study instead of just presentations about the Church and her traditions. Gabriel reminded us of the conversation when we spoke after the Bible study. He always has at least one priest with him, and the study is mainly in German with a couple of tidbits of Turoyo thrown in occasionally.

I had one observation about culture and ethnic pride toward the end, when Gabriel shared briefly about his recent trip to Tur Abdin, the ancient home of the Syriac Orthodox Church of Antioch in south-east Turkey. As he spoke, he used the word “Heimat,” meaning “place of origin” or “Fatherland” in English. “Heimat” is a highly emotional term in German with strong connotations of belonging. To me, even more so than using Fatherland in English. And when he used the word repeatedly, I must admit, I felt left out. As a convert to the Syriac Orthodox Church originally from Germany, I was, at that very moment, standing in my homeland, Germany. So “Heimat” was not for me in this use.

I don’t come from Tur Abdin, neither does my family, and while I am dying to go see the churches and monasteries that remain there, I neither speak the language, nor do I feel a particular sense of belonging. Had he just spoken about the sights he saw and the insights he gained talking to monks and priests there, I would have completely engaged mentally and emotionally. As is, I felt emotionally turned off, truth be told. It was a reminder to me of how hard it is sometimes to fit in as a convert in the Syriac Orthodox Church. I love Gabriel, and I hope if he reads this, he understands the emotion I felt.

This reminded me of the discussion we have had in the US about an American Syriac Orthodox Church where these parishes would be American in character, not feature Suryoyo or Malayalam heritage per se. Even in the parishes I have seen in the US, Arabic-speaking Iraqi immigrants often outnumber other groups. When I said “Shlomo” to a man in my parish, he answered, “That is Hebrew, right?” Most of the time, conversations are in Arabic. The culture there is, of course, also not the same as in the churches in Germany, especially in my hometown’s four churches. Another observation seems to be that the churches in Germany are clusters of families from the same town in Tur Abdin, as family members would move close to where others had already settled as they came to Germany. This makes it even harder to get in. One man at Mor Eliyo yesterday made a comment of how in years past, no outsider would have been tolerated.

I am always reminded that, just as in the Greek Orthodox Church in the US (and, as far as I know, in Germany), things are changing. As more people discover Orthodoxy and Oriental Orthodox churches, our parishes must adapt to a changing target audience. We cannot continue to live as ethnic enclaves if we hope to attract others to the Christian faith in the context of Orthodoxy. Even in the Greek Orthodox Church, parishes that insist on their Greek ethnicity as critically important are shrinking or even dying. However, the question is, do we want this change, and do we accept that it may mean losing some cultural aspects? I can only ever remind my readers of my husband’s story. He grew up Greek Orthodox as a kid but left as a young adult. He didn’t speak the language. Grandma would give him a candy and say, “Be quiet.” Nobody explained anything about the Divine Liturgy. To him, it was meaningless.

Now, in his older days, his Greek Orthodox church is life to him. He has been taught what happens in the Divine Liturgy and what the sacraments mean. He has been introduced to what it means to seek communion with God, first and foremost, through ascetic practices such as fasting and prayer. He would not have returned to the Orthodox Church had it not presented itself in his heart language, English. He loves praying the Lord’s Prayer in Greek, and he got a huge kick out of listening to the Greek of the series on St. Paisios we watched, as he picked up some prayers he heard as a child. But I can’t say he's suddenly ready to be a full-blown Greek. He worships in English. He prays in English. He reads Psalms and chants in English. He listens to his priest give homilies in English. He is American.

In part two of my observations, I will discuss the iconography and decorations in the churches and monasteries I visited. Please subscribe and tune in. And please, as always, discuss if you have thoughts.

Subscribe now

I will admit that as a now Syriac Orthodox believer, I have changed my mind. Why is that? It’s certainly not that I do not believe that what St. Paul says isn’t true. I do believe that we will be in the presence of Christ. My bigger question with my Orthodox understanding of salvation is how prepared I will be to meet the Lord.

Will I have done all I can to become more and more like Him? Will I have truly tried to turn away from my sin? Will I have repented time and again when I have offended Him? And then, when I have received His forgiveness, will I have gotten up again to walk in faith toward Him? Will Christ find me truly attempting to follow Him with my all?

Remember His Eminence Metropolitan Kallistos Ware of blessed memory and his famous story?

Twice in my life, once in a bus and once in a railway carriage, I have been asked by a stranger: "Are you saved?

• How should we reply to this question?

• For my own part, I hesitate to respond categorically, “Yes, I am saved.”

• Such an answer suggests that my salvation is already here and now an accomplished fact, a fully realized and completed actuality.

• But how can I know for certain what my behavior will be during the remaining course of my life?

• Despite God’s guiding hand upon me, I still retain the power to say No to Him as well as Yes.

• Long after his conversion on the road to Damascus Saint Paul feared that after preaching to others he might himself end up “rejected” or disqualified” by God (I Corinthians 9:27).

• Must we not show a similar caution?

• The warning issued by the pagan Solon applies equally in a Christian context: “Call no one blessed until he has died.”

• It is the one who endures to the end who will be saved (St. Matthew 10:22; 24:13).

• Instead, then, of answering ‘I am saved’, I prefer to make use of the continuous present: “I trust that by God’s mercy and grace I am being saved.”1

You can hear his talk on the subject in this video.

Saint Sisoes the Great (also Sisoi, Shishoy) was an Egyptian desert father and ascetic who died in AD 429. He lived in the Desert of Scetis (modern-day Wadi El Natrun in Egypt), the cradle of early Christian monasticism, before moving to the Mountain of St. Anthony at the Red Sea after the death of St. Anthony the Great. He is considered one of the great Desert Fathers, and he shared his wisdom through a life of radical humility, asceticism, and compassion toward others.

Yet, as he lay dying, he asked for more time before departing to stand before Christ:

When Saint Sisoes lay upon his deathbed, the disciples surrounding the Elder saw that his face shone like the sun. They asked the dying man what he saw. Abba Sisoes replied that he saw Saint Anthony, the prophets, and the apostles. His face increased in brightness, and he spoke with someone. The monks asked, “With whom are you speaking, Father?” He said that angels had come for his soul, and he was entreating them to give him a little more time for repentance. The monks said, “You have no need for repentance, Father.” Saint Sisoes said with great humility, “I do not think that I have even begun to repent.”2

While St. Sisoes is recognized and venerated in the Coptic Orthodox Church and also in the Eastern Orthodox world, he is less familiar in the Syriac Orthodox Church. However, a Syriac Orthodox Christian would generally recognize him as a holy ascetic of the undivided early Church and part of the shared Desert Father heritage.

The reason I am sharing these stories is to give you the background of my change of mind. I no longer want to depart immediately to be with the Lord. I, like Metropolitan Kallistos Ware and St. Sisoes, would like to work out my “own salvation with fear and trembling,” as St. Paul reminds us in Philippians 2:12. I believe there is much to reflect upon in my soul (and FIX! with God’s help) to be ready to meet the Lord. Orthodox Christians do not believe in purgatory, but in the Syriac Orthodox funeral prayers, there are repeated prayers for protection from hostile powers after death.

The priest offers these prayer for the departed3:

O Lord, make this soul, that has been set free from this temporal life and has departed from this world, be worthy to be guided by Your holy angels to the heavenly mansions that abound in delight and rest until the day of resurrection, on which she will meet You with confidence, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit forever and ever. Amen. (p. 6)

. . .

Receive his soul with the abundance of Your pleasure, and deliver him from the regions of the wicked spirits by the support and guidance of Your angels. (p. 26)

. . .

In You, O Lord, we take refuge, and unto You we make supplication on behalf of this soul that has departed by the decree of Your Lordship. Deliver him, O merciful God, from the snares of the evil spirits and from the invisible powers of darkness. Guide him to the abodes of life. Grant him rest among the righteous and make him to dwell among Your saints, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit forever and ever. Amen. (p. 34)

. . .

May Your cross be my guide in the realms of death, and through it may I conquer the evil one and the power of death on the day of resurrection. (p. 54)

. . .

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit. Verily, my brethren, death is bitter and the hour of departure is severe and fearful. When the dreadful angels surround the soul, all thoughts and movements come to an end, while the eyes overflow with sorrowful tears. It is not the body that weeps for the soul, it is rather the soul that weeps for the body. Merciful Lord, have compassion upon both of them on the day of resurrection. (p. 58-59)

. . .

Open, O our Saviour, the treasure of Your beatitudes for Your handmaid that she may go and rejoice in the realms of bliss. May Your cross be a bridge unto her, thereon to pass over the dreadful places of destruction that she may rejoice with the just and the righteous. (p. 90)

. . .

Deliver her, O Lord, from the captivity of the evil spirits. (p. 96)

But the news for those who have entrusted their lives to Christ at the end is one of great hope and joy - and for this we give glory to God:

Resurrection day is drawing near, therefore, sorrow not, O departed, for the corruption of your bodies. He, Who created and adorned your substance, will quicken and raise your bodies, and, in justice, He will reward everyone according to his deeds. (p. 18)

O Lord, Who descended into Sheol, and became the guest of those who arc in the graves, we humbly beseech You, when You come on the last day to quicken the human race that, by Your grace, You may raise this Your servant who has passed away trusting in You. (p. 18)

Sorrow not, all you who die in Christ, for the general resurrection and the day of reward is drawing near. You will be raised from your graves in incorruption, you will come out in haste to meet the King’s Son, you will put on the robe of glory, and you will sing praise before Him. O Lord, Who raises the children of Adam, have mercy and compassion upon us. (p. 56)

And so, knowing all I know now in the fullness of faith that comes from the teachings of the early Christian Church, having been carried forward through the millennia, I, too, would like more time to repent. I want to spend the remainder of my life in repentance for my many sins, ask the Lord to shape me more and more into His likeness each day, and help me overcome my many daily offenses against my precious Lord. And then I would love the holy angels to carry me to Him, safe from the accusatory attacks by the evil powers.

Today, the Coptic Orthodox Patriarch of Alexandria, His Holiness Pope Tawadros II, met His All Holiness Ecumenical Patriarch Bartholomew I of Constantinople at the Phanar in Istanbul, Turkey. The Phanar, in case you haven't heard of it before, was the traditional center of Greek Orthodox life during the Ottoman era, and it still houses the Ecumenical Patriarchate of Constantinople.

As a Protestant, I would have probably never even heard of these two men’s names. As a matter of fact, I am pretty sure I hadn’t paid any attention to anything in the Orthodox world. But now, as a Syriac Orthodox faithful, I pay very close attention to these matters. But even in the Orthodox world, I may be unusual in my interest in “both sides of the coin,” meaning both the Oriental Orthodox side, of which the Syriac Orthodox Church of Antioch is a part, as well as the Eastern Orthodox one, of which my husband Nick’s Greek Orthodox Church is a part.

In case you are unsure why this meeting would excite me, you should know that I pray for unity among the Orthodox branches every single day of my life. You may also want to start with this post, which I wrote early in my journey to Syriac Orthodoxy, describing a very sad break in relations between the Eastern Orthodox and Oriental Orthodox churches over Christological differences following the Council of Chalcedon in A.D. 451. Even more sadly, we have not been in communion since then - over 1,500 years.

In September 2024, H.H. Pope Tawadros II hosted a meeting of the Orthodox churches representatives at the Papal Residence in Saint Bishoy’s Monastery in Egypt’s Wadi El-Natroun. Other meetings, such as this one, had preceded the one in Egypt. Already, as someone who prays for the unity of our Orthodox churches every day, this was of great excitement to me. As I had journeyed toward Orthodoxy, I had come across the Second Agreed Statement from a meeting in Chambésy, Switzerland in 1990. You can read here just how much was achieved in bringing the Eastern and Oriental Orthodox churches closer in a theological understanding at this meeting.

So, back to today. Here is the official announcement of H.H. Pope Tawadros II's visit to the Ecumenical Patriarchate in Istanbul. And here is a Facebook video of the meeting that took place today in Istanbul. H.A.H. Ecumenical Patriarch Bartholomew I spoke these words to greet H.H. Pope Tawadros II:

His Holiness Pope Tawadros II, Pope of Alexandria and Patriarch of the See of St. Mark, our beloved brother in Christ;

Respected Beatitudes and Excellencies; Esteemed Clergy; our beloved brothers and sisters in Christ:

Χριστὸς Ἀνέστη! Christ is Risen!

With great joy in the Lord Who has risen from the dead, we welcome Your Holiness to the Ecumenical Patriarchate in the Phanar. Your presence among us is a blessing and a sign of hope—a hope founded not merely upon human effort, but upon the grace of the Holy Spirit, Who, through the love of Christ, draws us together toward unity (2 Corinthians 5:14). In this very same spirit, the Holy Apostle exhorts us, saying: “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2).

Your visit to us today transcends the boundaries of a mere official occasion; indeed, it bears profound historical significance, marking as it does your first visit to the Phanar. This encounter is the direct fruit of the fraternal meeting Your Holiness graciously hosted in September 2024 at the historic Monastery of St. Anba Bishoy in Egypt—a gathering that stood as a clear testament to harmony and love. There—gathered in prayer and mutual love—representatives of the Eastern Orthodox and Oriental Orthodox Churches affirmed together their shared vocation: to deepen understanding, to strengthen the bonds of love, to strive for the restoration of full communion, and to offer a credible, joint witness in our contemporary world. Thus, the path ahead moves forward—not merely as an abstract theological aspiration, but as a living, ever-renewing ecclesial reality.

For many centuries, our two Churches have walked along parallel paths, at times separated by the weight of historical circumstances and doctrinal misunderstandings. Yet, through sincere and patient dialogue, we have come to realize anew that what unites us immeasurably outweighs whatever may have divided us. The Christological agreements reached by both sides in recent decades have revealed our shared faith in the mystery of the Incarnate Word—expressed through distinct theological formulations, yet firmly rooted in the undivided Apostolic Tradition of the Church.

The time has therefore come to move from agreement to encounter, and from theological convergence to spiritual harmony. This is our collective responsibility. We are called to translate the fruits of our dialogue into tangible pastoral realities: by fostering mutual acquaintance and fellowship among our respective communities; by encouraging cooperation in proclaiming the Faith—particularly in regions where Christians face persecution and marginalization; and by raising a united voice in defense of human dignity, the sanctity of creation, the centrality of the family, and the tireless pursuit of peace. As was clearly proclaimed at the 2024 meeting, we are called to deepen our fellowship in Christ, to enrich our mutual understanding, and to persevere in prayer, so that we may be led together—day after day—to partake of the Most Holy Body and Blood of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Your Holiness, the bonds between the Eastern Orthodox Churches and the Oriental Orthodox Churches in general—and between the Coptic Church and the Ecumenical Patriarchate in particular—are ancient and sacred ties. Their roots run deep into the witness of the early Christians; they are nourished by reverence for the Patristic heritage, sanctified by the blood of martyrs, and enlivened by a shared liturgical and ascetic rhythm. Today, these sacred bonds are being renewed and healed—not by erasing history, but by transcending our differences and rising above our past divisions, in the radiant light of Christ and His perfect love.

As we welcome Your Holiness and your distinguished delegation to this historic See of Constantinople, we offer a fervent prayer that this meeting may contribute to the growth of the fraternal relationship between our two Churches, and inspire renewed steps toward the full manifestation of our unity.

May the Risen Lord bless your steps, guide our two Churches, and grant us—in His good time—to glorify Him with one heart and one voice, gathered around the one Holy Chalice. To Him be glory unto ages of ages.

Christ is Risen! Truly He is Risen!

H.H. Pope Tawadros II also addressed H.A.H. Ecumenical Patriarch Bartholomew I:

His All-Holiness the Ecumenical Patriarch Bartholomew I, Your Eminences, Reverend Fathers, Metropolitans and Bishops, Distinguished Guests, Christ is Risen... Truly He is Risen.

It is with great joy that I stand among you today in this holy place. I offer my sincere thanks to Your All-Holiness for this gracious invitation, which I receive not merely as an official visit, but as a message sealed with love. The delegation accompanying me joins in expressing our deepest gratitude for the warmth of your reception and the love evident in every detail of your generous hospitality since the moment of our arrival.

I have had the blessing of meeting Your All-Holiness on several occasions; however, this is my first visit to your historic See here in Turkey, in this beautiful land. I have been profoundly blessed by this visit, which stands as a continuation of the long-standing history and deeply rooted bonds of love between our two Churches -the See of Saint Mark the Apostle and the See of Saint Andrew the Apostle.

I come to you from Egypt, from the Coptic Orthodox Church from the land sanctified by the sojourn of the Holy Family in the first century; from the land of Saint Mark the Apostle, who sealed his witness with martyrdom in Alexandria. Through the centuries, the Coptic Church has preserved the faith with steadfastness and has raised great champions of Orthodoxy. among them Saint Athanasius the Apostolic and Saint Cyril, Pillar of the Faith. She has been known throughout history as the Church of Martyrs. From her soil also arose Saint Anthony the Great, the father of monasticism, whose example inspired the spread of monastic life throughout the entire world.

I cannot stand here without expressing my deep appreciation for the witness and ministry of the Ecumenical Patriarchate, and for the tireless efforts of Your All-Holiness in the service of Orthodox unity. You carry this sacred witness with remarkable faithfulness and a spiritual joy that inspires us all. greatly value your commitment to unity and peace, especially your profound call that the Church must be “a sign of unity, a witness of love, and a servant of peace.” I pray that the Lord Christ may grant Your All-Holiness continued health and strength, and sustain you in this holy mission.

I also cherish the historic relations between our two countries and peoples, bound together by deep and enduring ties that span generations.

is a true joy to meet with Your All-Holiness today, together with the beloved Fathers of your blessed Church. We look forward with great anticipation to welcoming you among us in Egypt at the appropriate time.

In closing, let us pray together, serve together, and bear witness together before a world that awaits from us something far deeper than words. For, as the Apostle Paul declares, God “is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us” (Ephesians 3:20). This is the foundation of our hope.

Christ is Risen... Truly He is Risen.

I am so very deeply encouraged tonight. Pray with me that the unity within the Body of Christ may be strengthened with tangible outcomes from this meeting and the ones preceding it.

Subscribe now

I am still in the afterglow of Easter, or Pascha, as my husband’s Greek Orthodox tribe calls it. We just finished Thomas Sunday, and the fact that both the Syriac Orthodox Church and the Eastern Orthodox Church read the same Gospel text, John 20:19-31, makes this even sweeter to me. St. Thomas confessing, “My Lord and my God!” is enough to make me shudder with the sweetness of my faith in the resurrected Lord Jesus.

The power of the Syriac Orthodox Easter hymns make this clear:

With great power the Almighty rose from the tomb. The prophet approached Him, was amazed, and asked, ‘My Lord, what happened to You? Why are Your clothes red, Your side rent, and Your hands pierced?’
‘In Sheol I fought alone, valiantly tread the winepress, and was splattered with blood. I rose in victory.
Halleluiah.’

- Qom Gaboro Mén Qabro

Today, the First-born of the dead rose and gave life to humanity. He rose in glory and victory. He rose after He was dead.
Death shook when he saw the Noble One moving straight toward him. He reached Hades’ gates, and its walls collapsed.
He descended into Sheol, the deep pit, and killed death in his house. He triumphantly rose on the third day like a warrior who has shaken off the effects of wine.

- Qom Bukhro Ddamké Yawmono

The Lion’s Cub roared in Sheol, and death and Satan trembled. His light lit the gloomy abyss, and the night of darkness fled. Those forever-buried dead received life and hope from His glorious splendor. He declared salvation, and the captives were freed from death’s bonds. On the third day, He rose in might and victory, shaming the crucifiers.

- Nham ba-Shyul Guryo Daryo

While Your glorious tomb was open, Sheol sat in mourning. The women arrived crying and saying, “Indeed, why did they take Him out of the tomb and put Him into another? Who will tell us about the Resurrection of the Almighty?”
Suddenly, a radiant angel said to these women, “Behold, Christ the Lord is risen! Behold, He is not here. Go tell the apostles that He goes before you to Galilee. There you will see the miracle of His Resurrection.”
After the modest women heard the new tidings, they ran to tell the apostles in the Upper Room. “Behold, the Lord killed death, and by His death He freed the captives. Go, assemble in Galilee and you will see Him.”

- Kad Qabrokh Shbiho

What glorious news for those of us here on Earth! We do not have to fear death because Christ has conquered death by His own death. The primary hymn (troparion) in my husband’s Greek Orthodox Church at and after Pascha states it like this: "Christ is risen from the dead, trampling down death by death, and on those in the tombs bestowing life!"

One of the things I have been learning more and more about in Orthodoxy is the difference from Western theology. What a different picture Orthodoxy paints of Christ’s sacrificial death for us. In the West, Christ died to pay a price for the sins of the world. In the East, Christ died to descend to Sheol, defeat death by His own death, and set the captives free.

If you look at the icon at the top of the page or this one below, you see that Christ is grabbing the wrists of those who were held captive in Sheol. He is grabbing them - not they Him! Glory be to God! Christ’s death allowed the path back to God by defeating that which Satan thought would defeat God: death. We inherited a nature from Adam that was prone to sin, but when we are baptized and chrismated, we are liberated from that nature. We did not inherit Adam’s sin; that is a very important distinction. We inherited his fallen nature. Because Christ defeated death by His own death, we are now invited back into a restored relationship with Him. Again, Glory be to God!

I wanted to share another life-giving realization for me:
You know that one of my motivating factors in life is to move the Oriental Orthodox Church and the Eastern Orthodox Church closer together through everything in my power, which admittedly isn't much… One thing that filled me with joy this Easter/Pascha was realizing that we share the same traditions in both branches of Orthodoxy, even though we have been separated for over 1,500 years since the Council of Chalcedon. Maybe a picture is worth a thousand words. Here are both traditions on Good Friday. See any similarities? Syriac Orthodox on top; Greek Orthodox on bottom.

Christ's death, burial, and resurrection - and the very important part of what He did in the middle when He descended into Sheol are the important pieces of God’s good news toward us! In the Lutheran church Nick and I attended before we became Orthodox/returned to Orthodoxy, we said the Apostles’ Creed frequently. It's a very early summary of the Christian belief, probably originating from early baptismal confessions of the second and third centuries. It was developed and expanded in the fourth century and beyond to address heresies, much like the Nicene Creed. Here are the words - look what's sandwiched in the middle:

I believe in God, the Father almighty,
creator of heaven and earth.
I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord,
who was conceived by the Holy Spirit
and born of the Virgin Mary.
He suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, died, and was buried;
he descended to hell.
The third day he rose again from the dead.
He ascended to heaven
and is seated at the right hand of God the Father almighty.
From there he will come to judge the living and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Spirit,
the holy catholic church,
the communion of saints,
the forgiveness of sins,
the resurrection of the body,
and the life everlasting. Amen.

I shared this on Facebook the other day, and I’ll close with this to highlight the importance of getting this right in conversations with those asking about the Orthodox faith:

“Christ is risen!” is the most liberating pronunciation of God’s grace the world has ever heard.
Today, a young man found his way to our Orthodox church here in Prescott. A couple of us spoke with him briefly after the Agape Vespers. He was holding his Bible and a couple of books that had been given to him about Orthodoxy.
He shared with us that he had been very frustrated with what he perceived in Protestantism over the years. In particular, his reading of Scripture did not suggest that God was willing to send millions to hell. And if that was a true picture of God that He would send them to hell, then he should rend his clothes and share with everybody he encountered that they would be eternally lost. That should be his life’s profession, rather than seeking to know God more deeply himself and through his life draw others to Christ.
He felt that was a complete disconnect from the God that he encountered in the pages of the Bible. There he was reading about a God who loves His creation. He started reading about the ancient Christian faith. When he encountered Orthodoxy today, he heard about a God that loves mankind. A Christ who conquered death by his own death and broke the shackles of the captives in Sheoul. And it was liberating confirmation to him.
“Christ is risen from the dead, by death trampling down upon death, and to those in the tombs He has granted life.”
Christ is risen! Truly He is risen!

Subscribe now

According to several decrees by Syriac Orthodox patriarchs, the fast is much more lenient in the Syriac Orthodox Church. I do, however, know a number of people who diligently fast there the whole time, too. I’ll be brutally honest, it’s not easy when you go to an event at the church (e.g., a recent memorial of a departed loved one) where meat dishes are served. But let me tell you something: meat, eggs, wine, and chocolates of all sorts never tasted better than on Pascha early morning at my husband’s Greek Orthodox Church, when we jointly break the fast around 1:45 am after the midnight Divine Liturgy. The party goes into the morning hours, and wine flows!

Anyway, this post is about the Sundays of Lent, so let me rein it back in. I do get sidetracked easily, sorry. There are seven Sundays from the beginning of Great Lent, which kicks off with Shubqono, or the Forgiveness service at the beginning of Great Lent, through Palm Sunday. Of course, the Sunday after Palm Sunday is the celebration of the Resurrection of our Lord, Easter, or Pascha, as my Greek Orthodox brethren call it. In the middle of Great Lent is the Elevation of the Holy Cross, intended to bring joy and encouragement to the faithful during the fast.

• 1st Sunday of Great Lent: Wedding of Cana (John 2:1-11)

• 2nd Sunday of Great Lent: Healing of the Leper (Luke 5:12-16)

• 3rd Sunday of Great Lent: Healing of the Paralytic (Mark 2:1-12)

• 4th Sunday of Great Lent: Healing of the Canaanite woman (Matthew 15:21-31)

• Sandwiched in between: Mid Lent, King Avgar of Edessa, Elevation of the Cross (John 3:13-21)

• 5th Sunday of Great Lent: The Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37)

• 6th Sunday of Lent: Healing of the Blind Man (Mark 10:46-52)

• Lazarus Saturday

• Palm Sunday (John 12:12-19)

I really like this depiction of the “Mountain of Great Lent” by Fr. Rijo Geevarghese:

All of these Sundays of Great Lent have special hymnody, which I try to read up on before attending the Holy Qurobo. I am very grateful to Malphono Gabriel Aydin, the brother of His Eminence Mor Polycarpus of the Netherlands, who has done truly mind-blowing work with his Syriac Hymnal and the Syriac Hymnal app. On the app, you get Western notation for the hymns, a transliteration of the Syriac text, an English translation, and a recording! Just today, there was an educational interview with him on Urho - The Way YouTube channel. You can listen to it here.

I cannot stress enough how important the rhythm of the church calendar has become the longer I am Orthodox. I perceive such strengths in bringing to mind certain biblical happenings or the lives of the saints. The same holds true in the Greek (or rather, Eastern) Orthodox Church, which has different themes for its Sundays of Great Lent, all of which are no less meaningful. Here is their sequence throughout Great Lent:

• Forgiveness Sunday: Start of Great Lent

• 1st Sunday of Great Lent: Sunday of Orthodoxy

• 3rd Sunday of Great Lent: Sunday of St. Gregory Palamas

• 4th Sunday of Great Lent: Sunday of the Holy Cross

• 5th Sunday of Great Lent: Sunday of St. John Climacus

• 6th Sunday of Great Lent: Sunday of St. Mary of Egypt

• Lazarus Saturday

• Palm Sunday

So while the specific focus topics on the Great Lent Sundays may differ across Orthodox traditions, the overarching theme remains consistent: Great Lent is a season of repentance and prayer that prepares the hearts and souls of the faithful for meaningful worship. Honestly, my heart yearns for Great Lent every year since I was received into the Syriac Orthodox Church. While it is no joke to completely change your diet for just about 50 days, the body's deprivation of foods that normally gratify it leads to a sharper spiritual focus.

I can’t begin to describe to you the many times I have cried over my sins during this time. It really draws a very intense focus on my failure to follow Christ faithfully in so many aspects of my life. I also feel an intense desire to do my confession with my confessor. Not because I suddenly sinned more or differently, but because Great Lent’s intense worship puts a bull’s-eye on what I need to address with Christ.

I know there are people who are incredulous as to how much time we spend in church during Great Lent, but I literally CRAVE to be in worship. My soul has never felt so much desire to be in the presence of Christ as it does during this time. To be able to partake of the Holy Eucharist as often as possible, to sing praises to the Mother of God for her obedience to God and the great gift she gave us in her Son, all these are moments I wouldn’t want to miss.

I was a very devout evangelical Christian, but nothing, absolutely nothing, compares to the work Christ is doing in me now. I had a woman whom I love and who was in a small group with us in our evangelical church come to me the other day and ask me something akin to why I looked down on Protestants now. I do not, let me be very clear. What I know about Scripture comes from being a Protestant. (I will definitely offer the critique of Orthodoxy that I wouldn’t have learned it as readily here.)

Yet now, I realize that Orthodox worship is the Scriptures. We sing Scripture. And, oh my, how amazing it is to see all I have ever learned about the Bible now come to glorious life in the worship of the one, holy, catholic, and apostolic church. Glory be to God!

In closing, let me share this most beautiful icon of the Holy Virgin Mary, which I was blessed to decorate for the final Akathist, a 6th-century hymn to the Theotokos, at my husband’s church yesterday on my birthday. What a huge blessing to me. I hope the blessed Lady loved her flowers!

Subscribe now

Jesus taught the disciples in John 6:53-58 (here from the Peshitta):

⁵³ Jesus said to them, “Very truly I tell you, unless you eat the body of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in yourselves. ⁵⁴ But whoever eats of my body and drinks of my blood has eternal life, ⁵⁵ For my body truly is food, and my blood truly is drink. ⁵⁶ Whoever eats my body and drinks my blood abides in me and I in them. ⁵⁷ Just as the living Father has sent me, and I live because of the Father, the one who will eat me will also live because of me. ⁵⁸ This is the bread that came down from heaven. It is not like the manna your forefathers ate. They died, but whoever eats this bread will live forever.”

So when we participate in the Eucharist, we are eating the Bread of Life, the Body and Blood of our Savior. We are eating this so we may have eternal life. Just prior, in John 6:28-29, Jesus says something that, as an evangelical, I read and stopped with it: “They said to him, ‘What may we do to perform the works of God?’ Jesus answered them, ‘This is the work of god: to believe in the one that he sent.’”

Of course, I read the verses that followed in my Bible, but I understood them to be symbolical, something we commemorated every couple of weeks at the churches I attended for most of my life by having the Lord’s Supper, as it was called. It was a memorial meal. But how then do I explain that a number of disciples left Jesus because of this hard teaching, as we read in John 6:66? By the way, I always thought that was an interesting verse number…666. Go look that up in the Bible. It is definitely speaking of the antithesis of what Christ is offering us through this unbloody sacrifice we celebrate in the Holy Qurobo.

But—back on topic—as an Orthodox faithful, I have to read Scripture through the Holy Tradition of the Church. And that Holy Tradition is telling us that this is truly the Body and Blood of Christ, even if our eyes see bread and wine. Here is what the Syriac Orthodox Church of Antioch teaches:

According to the Syriac Orthodox Church of Antioch, of all the seven sacraments, the Holy Eucharist is the greatest and most revered and exalted, by which the believer eats the Holy Body and drinks the Precious Blood of Jesus Christ, presented by the Bread and Wine. It is sometimes called the ‘Mystery of Mysteries’; for all the Sacraments are crowned by the Eucharist:

• The person baptized must receive Communion directly after Baptism.

• The repentant person must receive Communion after having confessed his sins.

• The person who intends to get married must receive Communion before the wedding, (which must take place between the week before the wedding time), according to the original Rite of Matrimony.

• Also, whoever is ordained with any rank of deaconry or priesthood must receive Communion following the Holy Mass of his ordination.

It gives us the promise of eternal life : “Whoever eats My Flesh and drinks My Blood has eternal life and I will raise him up at the last day. He who eats this Bread will live forever” (John 6:54,58).

It provides growth in the Spirit and spiritual perfection and life in Jesus Christ, for He said: “For My Flesh is food indeed and My Blood is drink indeed .... As the living Father sent Me, and I live because of the Father, so he who feeds on Me will live because of Me” (John 6:55,57).

As food develops the body and keeps it healthy, so too the spiritual food, which is the Holy Body and Blood of Christ, strengthens the soul so that it may grow continually in grace.

It provides remedy to the soul, body and spirit, as we say in the Anaphora: “That they (Holy Body and Precious Blood) may become to us all for participation and healing and salvation for our bodies, souls, and spirits”.

Partaking of the Communion without worthiness causes weakness, sickness and death, for as St Paul said : “For this reason many are weak and sick among you, and many sleep” (1 Corinthians 11:30).

Communion gives a person immunity against sin. Material food gives him health and immunity against bacteria and viruses that attack his body. Likewise, partaking of the Holy Body and Blood of Christ gives the spirit immunity and inaccessibility against the viruses of sins, Satanic warfare and bodily lusts, so the person lives victoriously in his spiritual struggle. The Psalmist says : “You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies” (Psalm 23:5). This verse was a prophecy about the table of Communion and its benefits for victory against our enemies.1

Needless to say, we don’t just walk up and eat without first asking God to forgive us our transgressions. Sins in the Orthodox world are not crimes that must be punished, but symptoms of the illness that we have with our broken soul that has lost its way to God. So in these prayers of confession, we beg God to set us on the right course toward Him and the safe harbor He offers to us.

In the Syriac Orthodox Church, this confession is made jointly, directly before the Eucharist is offered to the faithful. Here are the words. Pay close attention to the bolded section. This really hit me hard when I first prayed it because I had to ask myself whether I was truly willing to give up my beloved sins I fall into again and again, if it meant dying to avoid doing them again.

I make my confession to God. the Father Almighty, and to His beloved. Son, Jesus Chist, and to the Holy Spirit. I confess the holy faith of the three Ecumenical councils of Nicaea, Constantinople, and Ephesus; in the most noble priesthood ascribed unto you, Father Priest, by which you set loose and bind. I have sinned through all my senses, both inwardly and outwardly, in word, in deed, and in thought. My sin is great, very great, and I repent of it most sincerely, purposing not to fall again into the same ever. Preferring death rather than embrace sin. And I ask you, by the authority of the sacred priesthood., that you absolve me of my sins, asking God to pardon me through His grace. Amen.

In my husband’s Greek Orthodox church, the prayer is also offered, though the wording is different, as it is a tradition of the Eastern Orthodox Church. But the focus on telling the Lord that we have sinned in every which manner possible is also visible there:

I believe, O Lord, and I confess that Thou art truly the Christ, the Son of the Living God, who camest into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the first. I believe also that this is truly Thine own most pure Body, and that this is truly Thine own most precious Blood. Therefore, I pray Thee: Have mercy upon me and forgive me my transgressions, committed in word and deed, whether consciously or unconsciously. And make me worthy to partake without condemnation of Thy most pure Mysteries, for the remission of sins and unto life everlasting. Of Thy Mystical Supper, O Son of God, accept me today as a communicant. For I will not speak of Thy Mystery to Thine enemies, neither like Judas will I give Thee a kiss; but like the thief will I confess Thee: "Remember me, O Lord, in Thy Kingdom." May the communion of Thy Holy Mysteries be neither to my judgment, nor to my condemnation, 0 Lord, but to the healing of soul and body.

My sins of word and of deed, committed through all my senses, whether I did it intentionally or wasn’t even aware of them, are brought before God. I am so glad that the words “consciously” and “inwardly” are there to be brought before the Lord because 99% of my sins fall into that category. Whether I judge others, have inappropriate thoughts of various natures, question my own faith or that of others, these things are all happening behind the skin of my forehead.

What worries me more is that the “Preferring death rather than embrace sin” comes across my lips way too easily. I honestly question whether I am sincere when I say that, because it seems to me the sins in question should stop immediately if I were to die when committing them again. Mercifully, God has been a lot more lenient in our days than He was with the Israelites (anyone remember Nadab and Abihu? If not, read Leviticus 10:1-2). But the grave nature of my sin has not changed. Even though my body contains the Body and Blood of Christ, I still prefer my sin many days over faithfulness. The sickness continues…

Lent may be a really good time to ask the Lord to heal our spiritually diseased bodies that far too often come under the horrible control of sin. The Great Physician conquered death by His own death. He is able to heal us. He is able to rip us out of these sin cycles that cause further disease. Glory to God that He wants to heal us. And by faithfully going to confession, praying these prayers, and partaking of the Eucharist, we are setting ourselves up for success. May He heal us completely. Lord, have mercy!

Subscribe now

It’s also a learning curve for converts. But today, I want to tell you a beautiful story about how I made my peace with a saint and decided to meet him in a very personal way.

Enter Saint George. He lived during the latter quarter of the third century and died just at the start of the fourth, c. 275–303 AD. He was a Roman soldier of Cappadocian descent. Cappadocia (modern-day Turkey) is a beautiful and awe-inspiring stretch of land in east-central Anatolia. You have probably seen photos.

Saint George was born to Christian parents there, but later moved to Palestine, his mother’s homeland, after his father’s death. He served as a high-ranking officer (tribune) in the Roman army under Emperor Diocletian, having been commanded several times for his outstanding service. Diocletian had secured the borders of the Roman Empire after uprisings by barbarian tribes, and he believed that a state religion would keep his empire united. In 303 AD, he rescinded Christians' legal rights and demanded that they comply with traditional religious practices, such as sacrifice to Roman gods, via several edicts. According to modern historians, approximately 3,000–3,500 Christians were executed in the years 303-313 AD.

The future Saint George declared himself a Christian and thus denied the false idols. He suffered many tortures because of his belief, but never considered renouncing it. This happened in the first year of the persecutions, and Saint George was imprisoned, tortured, and eventually beheaded in Lydda (Diospolis), Palestine. It was the boldness and courage of a young Christian officer in the Roman army and his martyrdom that made him the venerated saint he is today.

Icons of Saint George often depict him on horseback, slaying a dragon. This depiction comes from an iconic narrative of Saint George rescuing a princess from a dragon in a swamp, symbolizing the victory of good over evil. The early iconographers most likely intended to depict Satan in this dragon, and yet Saint George’s victory over evil. You can read the full story of his unbelievable torture here, and yet God was in the midst of it.

Fast-forward to a few weeks ago. My husband’s Greek Orthodox church is named St. George Orthodox Church after said Saint George. Because Saint George was an early saint before the later schisms, he is venerated by every branch of apostolic Christianity.

One day, I had a conversation with my spiritual father. We had talked about my children and how both of them had walked away from the Christian faith. My spiritual father said to me, “I want you to pray to the Virgin Mary and to Saint George every time you go to church.” He knows I worship with Nick at his church before going down to my Syriac Orthodox church in the valley.

I took a deep breath and replied to him: “Abouna (Father), I will try to do this, but please know that I have zero relationship to Saint George.” He had previously helped me with my relationship with the Virgin Mary by having me listen to or sing “Agni Parthene” (Rejoice, o Unwedded Bride) until I spent real time with the Virgin. He had recently encouraged me to find an icon of Saint George.

While he is Coptic Orthodox, he understands the Eastern Orthodox world well and knows I spend much time there. He also knows that I am quite plugged in at my husband's church on top of my work for my Syriac Orthodox church. I do all the social media for my husband’s church, am part of the Building Action Committee, am a member of Philoptochos (the ladies’ organization within the Greek Orthodox world), and my husband and I provide meals for the Agape coffee hour after liturgy every few weeks.

What came next literally took my breath away. My spiritual father stopped me mid-sentence and said, “With all you do for this parish, which is named after him, do you not think that Saint George knows you?” Within seconds, tears welled up in my eyes, and I just sobbed. Yes, of course, the dear Saint knows me. How silly of me to think I have to have a relationship with him first. He never doubted we had one!

A few days later, about ten people from St. George Orthodox Church drove three hours south to St. Anthony’s Greek Orthodox Monastery in Florence, AZ. After touring the monastery, we had a chance to browse the gift shop, where books, icons, prayer ropes, various foods, incense, and other items are sold. I looked around, intent on finding an icon of Saint George. There were exactly two: one big one with a “Sold” sticker on it, and the other a wood-burning icon, which didn’t appeal to me.

Disappointed, I was ready to leave the shop. At the last minute, I decided to share with the monk-priest in the store that I had intended to find a Saint George icon. He looked at me and said, “Wait here. Would you mind a slightly bigger icon?” I said, “No, that would be fine.” After a minute, he returned from behind a curtain, holding a still boxed 8x10 icon of Saint George that couldn’t be more beautiful. He told me it had literally just come in a couple of days prior, and they hadn’t brought it out yet. The price was amazingly right, too!

So the Saint now lives in my rather eclectic icon corner, happily sharing space with Saint Severus, a Syriac Orthodox saint, Saint Mina, a Coptic Orthodox saint, Saint Olga, a very recent Eastern Orthodox saint, along with the Virgin Mary and Saint Elizabeth and their children, our Lord Jesus Christ and His relative John the Baptist, as infants in the womb.

My fondness for Saint George has grown exponentially since being introduced to his friendship with me! He is now regularly asked for intercession with our Lord for my children and grandchildren. I thank my spiritual father for opening my eyes to a great truth that I had been completely oblivious to.

I realize that this is not a problem for cradle Orthodox who grew up around saints, but it is for a number of us converts. I venerate the saints without question, but I want so much more than just to say hello to them! I want them to become my dear friends I can rely on to pray for me when I can’t. The communion of the saints is a reality, and I intend to experience it fully. The "cloud of witnesses" in Hebrews 12:1 is cheering for us in front of the throne. Of that, I am sure.

Finally, I am in the middle of reading a book by Brandi Willis Schreiber, whose birthday it is today, March 17th, according to information I was given this morning by her friend (hi, Nicole Roccas!). Brandi, a former Protestant like me, also struggled to build a relationship with the Virgin Mary. Her book tells the story of her journey to find that close connection. You may want to check it out.

Subscribe now

As I am writing this, we just entered Great Lent this past Monday, and so it seems to me a natural next step to reflect on my sinfulness before God. We all will leave this life at one point, and for those of us who have entrusted our lives to Christ, this is clearly a worthwhile consideration.

Sadly, my church in Glendale, AZ, does not own a building, so we are very limited in how often we can meet in person (usually just on Sundays). This also cuts down on my own experience with Syriac liturgies and prayers, for which I hope you will forgive me. I try my best to work my way through our published works, but so far, I have had little real exposure to many of these prayers in my three years in the Syriac Orthodox Church. Here is a part of what I read to not fall behind:

In all honesty, even if we had every single one of these prayer services or liturgies, I would probably still be limping behind since my Syriac isn’t far advanced enough to quickly follow (and my vocabulary stinks…!). Even more so, my Arabic is nonexistent. Likewise, in Germany, I am lacking Turoyo. Three languages I need. Reminder to learn more.

At any rate, all this just to lead up to what I really wanted to write about tonight: the great impact Lent has on my soul each and every year. So far this week, after Sunday’s Divine Liturgy, my husband and I have participated in his Greek Orthodox church in the Sunday afternoon Forgiveness Vespers, where we did probably around eighty to one hundred prostrations forgiving each other, two morning prayers (Rule of St. Pachomius, during which many Jesus Prayers are prayed), two Great Complines with the Canon of St. Andrew of Crete, and tonight we celebrated the Presanctified Gifts Liturgy (here is an explanation). Sounds like a lot, right? And there is more coming! Here is just this week, Wednesday through Saturday. Lent is in full swing!

But, oh, the beauty of it! Orthodoxy is so rich in all its expressions. Here are a few photos from this week (all from hubby’s church, St. George Orthodox Church in Prescott, AZ, for reasons mentioned above), starting with Forgiveness Sunday through tonight’s Presanctified Gifts liturgy.

But is it just the “smells and bells,” a critique sometimes offered? Is it really spectacularly beautiful, but without true Christian meaning? From this convert’s perspective, nothing could be further from the truth. The depth of the penitential prayers of the Lent season will tear up your soul and restore it at the same time. It will allow you to go deeper with Christ than you have ever traveled. Oh my soul rejoice!

Allow me to share a sample from the Canon of St. Andrew of Crete, which is prayed three times at St. George this week, and then again in its entirety during the fifth week of Lent:

Look upon me, O God my Savior, with Thy merciful eye, and accept my fervent confession.
I have sinned above all men, I alone have sinned against Thee; but as God take pity on Thy creature, O Savior.
My lustful desires have formed in me the deformity of my passions and have disfigured the beauty of my mind.
A storm of passions surrounds me, O compassionate Lord. But stretch out Thine hand to me, as once Thou didst to Peter.
I have stained the garment of my flesh and have defiled that which was made in Thine image and likeness, O Savior.
I have darkened the beauty of my soul with passionate pleasures and have turned my whole mind entirely to dust.
I have torn the garment that the Creator first wove for me in the beginning, and therefore I lie naked.
I have clothed myself in the torn robe that the serpent hath spitefully stitched for me by his counsel, and now I am ashamed.
I offer to Thee, O merciful One, the tears of a harlot. Cleanse me, O Savior, in Thy compassion.
I looked upon the beauty of the forbidden tree and my mind was deceived; and now I lie naked and ashamed.
The demons of passion have ploughed long furrows on my back, prolonging their wickedness upon me.

Here is another part that will just tear my gut to shreds when we chant it:

The end draws near, O my soul, the end draws near; yet thou dost not prepare, neither dost thou care. The time grows short. Arise, for the Judge is at the very doors. The days of our lives pass quickly, as if they were a dream, as if they were a flower. O why do we trouble ourselves in vain?

Arise, O my soul and consider all the deeds which thou hast done, and set them up before thine eyes. Now pour out the drops of thy tears and boldly confess to Christ of thy deeds and thoughts, and so be thou justified.

In life’s course, O Savior, there has been no sin, no deed, no wicked thing, that I did not commit. I have sinned as no one has ever before, in mind, word and intent, in purpose, deed and thought.

For this I am condemned and for this, wretch that I am, I am convicted by mine own conscience, more severe than all else in the world. O my Judge and Redeemer, Who knowest my heart, spare me, deliver me and save me, Thy servant.

In all my many years as a Protestant, no beautifully arranged Lenten service ever caused the severe introspection I now experience as I ponder how and why I could stray so far from God. This is what Metropolitan Kallistos Ware of blessed memory meant when he said, “I trust that by God’s grace I am being saved.” I want to seek His compassion with every fiber of my being, and I am assured it is there! Orthodoxy is always leading the battle against our human passions, whatever they may be.

And the hope for our souls is always Christ, is always the God who loves mankind:

Christ became man, calling sinners to repentance. Repent then, O my soul! For the doors of the Kingdom are already opened and the Publicans and penitent Pharisees and adulterers pass through before thee.

Christ became man by assuming my flesh and He willingly experienced all that belongs to our nature apart from our sin. Thus, He set before thee, O my soul, an example and image of His own condescension.

As I stood and prayed tonight at the Presanctified Gifts liturgy (which, from what I understand, once existed in parts of the Oriental Orthodox world as well), my mind afterward turned to my Protestant Lent experience years prior. During a potluck dinner that followed, I discussed this with another woman who is a convert to Orthodoxy. We both agreed that nothing, absolutely nothing, ever reached as deeply into our souls as what we are now experiencing during Lent in the Orthodox world.

And I know for one that my heart now is so ready for confession to prepare myself fully for the blessed Feast of the Resurrection, which I will joyfully celebrate with all my sisters and brothers.

Subscribe now

I quickly realized and was comforted by the thought, though, that my perception of death has greatly shifted since I became Syriac Orthodox over three years ago. As an evangelical, my prayers would have been exclusively for the family as they mourned the loss of their daughter and sister. The dead are dead, according to Protestant understanding. Scripture seems to say that: “Just as it is given to people to die once and then after death to be judged.” (Hebrews 9:27, Syriac-English New Testament). The New King James Version puts it even more bluntly: “…but after this the judgment.”

And yet, in our Syriac Orthodox liturgy, the Holy Quorobo, the focus is on the life Christ brings when we sing:
“Lord, grant good remembrance to all the faithful dead;
Thy holy Body they took and Thy Living Blood.
May they stand on Thy right side on that day Thy grace shall dawn.”

We also pray: “The world shall bow and worship you, and every tongue shall confess Your Name. For you are the Raiser of the dead and the Good Hope to those who are buried. Halleluiah.”

In the Service of the Faithful Departed, this prayer is offered:

The quickening King shall descend gloriously from heaven to resurrect the dead and raise the entombed. The dead shall together rise from within the graves to give praise to the Quickener of the dead. Barekhmor...

How glorious is the saying which our Lord uttered in His Gospel: “Whosoever eats My Body and drinks My Blood would not be left in Sheol. Because for his sake I descended and suffered death that he may have eternal life.”

Lord, have mercy on us and help us.

O Son of God, by Your death You have quickened our mortality, raise us up from the dust that we may cry: Glory to you, O God.

Just from these examples, it is clear that the Syriac Orthodox (and Orthodox in general) understanding of death and dying is very different from that of Protestantism. There is no focus on a juridical understanding of Christ’s death. The focus is on the life Christ brings by conquering death through His death! How beautiful it is to ponder the goodness and love for mankind of God.

Mention is made every Sunday when we come together to celebrate the Holy Qurobo (and at many other times) of those who have departed. It brings to mind, again and again, that Christ descended to Hades and rescued those held captive there. It teaches that Christ conquered death by His own death - the central understanding in Orthodoxy of the purpose of Christ’s death.

Christ not only conquered death, but He freed the captives in Sheol who were waiting there. Iconography in Oriental Orthodoxy and Eastern Orthodoxy shows Christ grabbing the wrist of the captives. He is forcefully pulling them out! How powerful is this image of the amazing love of God?!?! When I first encountered this imagery, I cried. It was overwhelming for me to realize the different understanding in Orthodoxy of what Jesus’s death accomplished.

To show just how often we pray for those who have gone before us and what immense hope we feel when we pray these prayers, I’ll conclude with this Sapro (morning) prayer for Saturday from the Sh’himo, the Syriac Orthodox Book of Common Prayer:

An Ordered Prayer for the Departed

Blessed is he who has magnified our resurrection and made firm the hope of our rising again. The blessed Paul is witness, when he refutes the doubter and says: Foolish man, the seed that you sow, if it does not die, does not live, and he showed that the race of Adam shall rise in glory.

Blessed is the rain of life, which descended and shed the resurrection on those who slept in Sheol, and he cried with a powerful voice in the place of the dead, the devourer of generations.

Its high walls were cast down and he laid waste its palaces and its treasures and showed that the race of Adam shall rise in glory.

Praise to the first-born Son, who descended to Sheol and conquered death. Adam saw him and was comforted. He bowed his neck, prostrated himself before him, and said:

Forgive me my fault and let me go forth from here, Lord. Restore me and my children to Paradise, from which I departed.

Make remembrance, Lord, of the departed, who took your body and your living blood, and repeatedly received pardon through it, in the Jerusalem which is in the sky.

When you sit on your throne and divide the good men from the evil ones, let them stand, Lord, with faces unveiled at your right.1

These are the prayers I also offer for the daughter of my beloved friends. May Christ raise her up in glory in His paradise.

Subscribe now

In our small group at my husband’s church, we recently finished reading Seeing the Gospel: An Interpretive Guide to Orthodox Icons by Dr. Eve Tibbs. Now, we are on to Dr. Eugenia (Jeannie) Constantinou’s book, Thinking Orthodox: Understanding and Acquiring the Orthodox Christian Mind. In between, I watched a most wonderful YouTube video on Coptic iconography. Why am I mentioning this? It may have triggered the current pensiveness I feel about the beauty of the house of the Lord in which we worship Him.

From my evangelical days of studying the Old Testament, I remember reading in Exodus how careful the Lord's instructions were regarding how the tabernacle and its furnishings were to look, and how the garments of Aaron and his sons, and those serving at the tabernacle, were to be crafted. Just the other day, this was my reading in the Bible again.

Exodus 25-40 speaks of this in great detail. God even called two men, Bezalel and Aholiab, to be the master craftsmen who would create all this beauty and splendor. Everything from the tabernacle itself, its furnishings, the garments of the priests, the ritual to dress them and anoint them for service, to the precise formulation of the incense and the holy oil for anointing, all was laid out in great detail.

God also advised that the people were to give the money for all the works for making the holy place. Exodus 36 describes how the people gave so much that Moses had to issue a command to stop giving. Imagine that! I think about our parish today, where we dream of having a church of our own. I think about my husband’s parish, which is bursting at the seams and will soon have to build a bigger church. If everyone gave wholeheartedly, as the Israelites did, we could build these houses of God to the glory of His name!

But apart from this consideration, I am simply reminded again that it was God who demanded this splendor. It was not man’s idea. It was God who wanted beauty for the place where He would dwell with the Israelites as they journeyed through the desert for forty years. It was God who later instructed the building of the temple in Jerusalem. When King Solomon, the son of King David, finished building the temple, the ark of the covenant was brought into it. In 3 Kingdoms 3 (1 Kings) 8:10-11, it says, “When the priests came out of the holy place, the cloud filled the house, so the priests could not stand there ministering because of the cloud; for the glory of the Lord filled the house.” (OSB)

What an imagery of the splendor of the house of the Lord. Let me ask you the provocative question posed in a meme: why would anything change in the Lord’s perception between the time of the Old Testament and today? Would He not still desire beauty?

As an ardent student of the Old Testament in my seminary days, I never asked that question, oddly enough. I just accepted that box churches with bare walls are it, as far as worship spaces are concerned. I thought of Orthodox churches as pretty, artistically speaking, but did not think they were appropriate for worship of any Christian in their right (evangelical) mind.

Boy, oh boy, has God changed my perspective on beauty. Every time I enter an Orthodox Church, my jaw drops at the iconography and beauty of the worship space. Whether Syriac, Coptic, or Eastern Orthodox, my heart is drawn to worship of God.

Just yesterday, I was standing in the Divine Liturgy at my husband’s Greek Orthodox church, where the entrance of the Lord Jesus into the temple was celebrated. I looked up at the icons of our Lord. He is depicted as an infant in the Virgin Mary’s arms. He is depicted on the cross. He is depicted as the Pantokrator, the ruler of all and omnipotent Lord of the universe. My heart is deeply impacted as I ponder these truths every single time I come to worship.

I will leave you with another Scripture passage I so love.
Psalm 95 (96):9, here in the New International translation:
Worship the LORD in the splendor of his holiness; tremble before him, all the earth.

Subscribe now