Carrying on to the bread and butter of the universe flag, we've reached the core colors that I feel allow more people to understand even more nuances with an asexual community, and how they impact each other in the world we live in today. The dandelion yellow of this flag was chosen intentionally. Dandelion Yellow was chosen to represent multiculturalism, Intersectionality and joy within the asexual community. Promoting all activities & experiences that allow us to enhance our joy, while consciously strengthening our bonds with one another. There are several reasons why this colour was added to the uni ace flag, being, I want to continue furthering peoples ability to think critically and more intentionally about how our identities not only look different within ourselves, but in other people, culturally, and what the intersections of those experiences may be for others in our community. Not only that I wanted to make sure Joy was included because often times we see asexual people as less joyous, and less involved in many aspects of the queer community. Another reason why I chose Dandelion Yellow specifically is because of the way dandelions have been perceived in the world, and to highlight what importance they actually have once you take the time to learn outside of social conditioning..

I've often seen the colours Black and Brown used to represent people of color in several pride flags. I completely understand the reason this is done, as it is a very front facing indicator for many in our community to see themselves as a part of the community. While I understand that, I've personally never been a fan of that. In my eyes, it feels a bit reductive and almost lessens peoples desire to learn more about the intersections of culture and race, when it comes to queer experiences. To this day, I still hear ‘Why was this added?’ ‘What does the Black & Brown stand for?’ ‘What do you mean there’s racism in the Asexual [Queer] Community’ and so on. Despite the value being there, I chose to move in the direction of using Dandelion Yellow to represent Multiculturalism and Intersectionality in this flag, because, similar to the way the Sun impacts so much of our lives, the world cannot move forward without the vibrancy of Black, Brown, Global Indigenous Cultures, and other Cultures of Colors contributions or communities.

I wanted a more intentional reminder of how queerness births life and openness in our worlds. To make sure of the conversation was pushed forward, the term Multiculturalism was used. It forces people to learn more about different cultures that also express alignment to the asexual community, providing a voice for those that may have never been able to discuss intricacies of sexual within their cultures, compared to the ones we often see pushed in our media today. In the same breath, Intersectionality was included here to, again, further peoples thought process around how the Asexual Experience looks different to somebody else in their community, based on different aspects of a person's social identities (such as race, gender, class, and sexuality) and how to better understand & support people with that awareness.

The framework of Intersectionality was created by Kimberlé Crenshaw [1989], as she was building a case to have people understand that while you are a woman and while, you may be Black, the combination of being a Black Woman holds a different experience that many people fail to understand and properly conceptualize. This framework has led to many more people understanding how layered our humanity is and how many aspects of our identity impact how we interact with the world [the discrimination we experience, and the privileges we have]. Not only does this allow us to build better discernment towards how the world perceives us, but it also, it also gives people an opportunity to break down their own biases, becoming better advocates to each other and strengthen community connections in the process.

My goal of choosing both these terms is to push people towards more conscious learning of each other and themselves; understand that Asexuality an identity that holds weight for a multitude of reasons, in different societies across the globe. Adding onto this, I wanted to make sure Joy was centered in this area of the flag as well. Too often, I have seen so many asexual people speak down to themselves about their identities, experiences and how they’re perceived in world; it is not something that I've ever align to. I see Asexuality one of the parts of me that adds to to my joy. Has it been hard to internalize, yes, but, I refuse to have that be the focal point of my lived experience. As I’ve gotten older, My Asexuality has allowed me to connect with different versions of myself that I didn't know possible and it’s exciting for me to continue discovering new versions of myself that lead me to deepen the love and compassion I have for myself.

As a Queer Person, I understand acknowledging pain and hardships that comes as you experience the world & grow into yourself, but, when the opportunities present themselves, more people should lean into rhetoric that allows them to express their joy & speak up about the diversity within their sexual experience. Asexuality is more than just the stereotypes we've seen pushed us over the several years; we deserve to have more intentional narratives written about our stories, and I want joy to be at the center of that as well.

Last, but not least I want to talk about Dandelions. Dandelions have been labeled as a weeds; harmful, useless, add nothing to the world & should be pulled up to avoid being spread. I've seen asexual people be labeled very similarly, and, I've also seen asexual people almost lean into that rhetoric as well. ‘We're just glad to be here.’ ‘We're just glad to be acknowledged’, very passive statements that doesn’t allow for people to build strength in their identities in the first place. Despite many of us being fed this falsehood, dandelions are actually medicinal herbs; dandelions are actually used to support a variety of issues regarding ones health. Unfortunately, many people also view asexuality as nonsensical, not useful and nonexistent, ‘The invisible identity", but when you start to better understand what asexuality is a spectrum of identities, you also understand how the spectrum may play into your life. Similar to dandelions, dandelions, have the use of aerating in the compacting soil, allowing nutrients to come up to other areas of the ground and supporting other plants around it. Asexuality is exactly the same; the more room you give yourself to learn about the nuances within this identity, you start see the overlap and how intertwined it is to more experiences within the larger queer community. Learning more about how Asexuals experience; sexual attraction, intimacy and connection love can also support you in how you gain more confidence in your queerness too!

So, with the Dandelion Yellow of this flag, I’d love to know how it shows up in your life? What parts of Asexuality intersects with who you are as a person, esp if you are not from the US? What does this actually look like in your culture? What does Joy look like for you as asexual person? I would love to know, Please share in the comments!

Thank you all of continuing to follow along this journey. Through all the ignorance I’ve been exposed to in the past 3 months, I continue to find joy in those who see themselves better represented in this flag.

Right now, the best ways to uplift me & my work are the following:

• Using the Uni Ace flag, Talk about the Uni Ace Flag, Make Art with the Uni Ace Flag, Advocating for the Asexual Community more intentionally through the language used in the Uni Ace Flag, ETC! Be Creative!

• Subscribing to me on Substack [Free x Paid Options]; a great way to learn more about the Ace community is to read things made by folks in the Ace Community!

• Tipping via Kofi to support the Labour I’ve spent on this. [PNG’s & Hex Codes of this flag are available there as well!]

My comments will be open on socials, for the last three colours of the flag. Be Good

Chat ya’ll later!

-Ashabi

‘Asexuals don’t have sex’ ‘Why would an Asexual Person have sex?’ ‘You can’t be Asexual and have sex’ You’re not really Ace if you have sex’ and so on

Many of these comments combat each other in a way the pushes the idea that there’s only one ways to ‘be’; enforcing that one person’s experience is less than, abnormal and/or deviant due to the over emphasis of the definition and not the persons relationship to this experience. As queer people, the way we move in the world already falls in opposition to most of societal norms we’ve seen established today. Keeping this in mind, we’ve also seen an increase in puritanism over the years, which has furthered the desire to restrict peoples freedom of expression, in fear of either being a target of harm or being ‘grouped in’ and ‘othered’ without discernment. In my mind, these thoughts and behaviours are fundamentally, conceptually and historically, the antithesis of queerness, in a political context and as an umbrella term that holds many LGBTQIA+ identities as well. It is integral for us to not fall into the trap of comfort, passivity, ‘sameness’ or conformity, as that can develop into extreme punitiveness towards people in our community.

As I originally used the white stripe to center SOSI, uplifting Asexual who do experience sexual attraction, I received feedback that allowed me to broaden the ways intimacy is valued, that’s more inclusive to things that’s not exclusive to sex. As Queer/Asexual people, we have the opportunity to explore other types of intimacy that decenters heteronormativity. While sexual intimacy is present, physical, emotional, intellectual [and more] are also highly valued by people in our community. Because these are defined by the individual, each person has a chance to explore which ones hold weight in their world and build more confidence in their journey that would strengthen their connection to Asexuality without judgement.

Exploring varied types of intimacy opens the door to, again, dive deeper into these terms and analyze them more as concepts, with an emphasis on the ‘bigger picture’ ideas instead of rigid definitions. Broad reflections allow folks to better understand how this impacts their interpersonal relationships and empower them to choose what’s best for them.

There’s so much diversity to experience in Intimacy. Let’s break them down a bit here:

Physical Intimacy can look like: Hand-holding; eyes contact; hugs; expressing warmth; kissing; flirting, etc. Check out this article by Drs. Melissa & Scott Symington on Green, Purple & Orange: The 3 Types of Physical Intimacy

Emotional Intimacy can look like: Open Communication of Feelings, Be “In the Moment” During Quality Time Together, Prioritize Time Together, verbal affirmations [etc]

Intellectual Intimacy can look like: Engaging in deep conversations that further your knowledge and leave the door open to more curiosity.

Let’s also acknowledge that there are SO MANY types of intimacy [all of which, need consent to occur]! Some of these things overlap in how you build connections and sometimes the can stand on their own. The only way to know this is to, first, understand the language, second, explore the ways you value that in your life.

Here are a few more Articles & Papers you can read to start your learning!

Sexuality, intimacy and relationships, 2017

Healthy Relationships - Intimacy

What Is Sexual Intimacy?, 2024

Intellectual Intimacy | Building Stronger Friendships, 2024

Rôle of Intellectual Intimacy in Psychological Well-being: The Cognitive Connection

Now, I would love to know, as Asexual People, what types of intimacy show up in your life? Which ones hold the most weight for you? As you got older, how did intimacy change for you? Please share below!

Thank you all of continuing to follow along this journey. Through all the ignorance I’ve been exposed to in the past 3 months, I continue to find joy in those who see themselves better represented in this flag.

If you want to support me, consider being a part of the Ace Babe Collective by being a paid subscriber on this Substack, OR, send some love to my Kofi [PNG’s & Hex Codes of this flag are available there as well!].

Just a heads up to those who follow me on my other socials, I’ve implemented a 24hr lock on comments on Instagram x Tiktok & only established followers on Facebook can comment. Folks need to sit with their thoughts more before overreacting to information that’s being shared.

Chat ya’ll later!

-Ashabi

We’re going to be breaking down the Grey Stripe in the Uni Ace Flag. For context, the Grey Acknowledges Asexuality as a Spectrum of identities [Including Grey, Demi and MircoLabels]. Since sharing this, I’ve seen a lot of people express frustration and event state that I’ve been exclusionary to by moving Asexuality to the Grey instead of keeping it in Black. I feel as though comments around this leaves me to assume most people see Asexuality as an experience defined by a singular definition which doesn’t allow for discussions that center the nuances of this identity and dismisses the spectrum in totality. This furthers the alienation of others in our community, while upholding elitist values that continue to push people toward more rigid thinking/ ignorant views around what queerness should or shouldn’t be. The move to have Asexuality in the Grey is to provide others more opportunities to explain what their experience is, with more openness and curiosity from themselves and others.

As I’ve continued to grow into my own identity, I’ve become more aware of the ways other people experience Asexuality in their own ways too. My life journey has allowed me to learn more about, not only Asexuality as we’ve seen it defined, but the other labels it holds as well. Opening up the ways we all see ourselves represented in this community and providing more people opportunities to share what parts of Asexuality play a part in their own world. We know of Grey-Asexuality & Demisexuality, but there are several others that fall under the Asexual Umbrella as well. See Below:

The Aim of this is to further peoples ability to explore their identities without restrictive language around ‘what it should be’. Words are incredibility important, but as queer people, we should be allowed the freedom to explore what else is available to us so we’re able to build more confidence within ourselves and the societies we live in.

On that note, I’d love to know how you identify within the Asexual Umbrella and how long it took you to finally align with Asexuality and other labels within this experience.

Thank you all of continuing to follow along this journey. Through all the ignorance I’ve been exposed to in the past 3 months, I continue to find joy in those who see themselves better represented in this flag.

If you want to support me, consider being a part of the Ace Babe Collective by being a paid subscriber on this Substack, OR, send some love to my Kofi [PNG’s & Hex Codes of this flag are available there as well!].

Just a heads up to those who follow me on my other socials, I’ve implemented a 24hr lock on comments on Instagram x Tiktok & only established followers on Facebook can comment. Folks need to sit with their thoughts more before overreacting to information that’s being shared.

Chat ya’ll later!

-Ashabi

In this flag, the Black stripe represents Support, Understanding, Awareness and Appreciation. We’re starting off with the basics here, so, this will be a short article as we continue moving on with the rest of the flag colours.

As society continues to become more exposed to queer identities in a different ways, Asexuality has started to be seen and valued more amongst a variety of global populations. With that, there have been consistent efforts [from orgs, advocates, etc] to provide individuals and communities information that allows for more language that educates people on how, to not only understand what Asexuality is, but better validate people in their journey as Ace’s in this world.

With this meaning being assigned to the colour Black, I wanted to account for the fact that Black become present though the mixtures of pigments/ink/paints. In a similar way, as Asexuals become more visible, more people in the queer community become aware of how Asexuality may show up in their lives as well. We often see Asexuality as a separation from the rest of queerness, but, there is often overlap throughout all our experiences.

Asexuality is defined as ‘little to no sexual attraction to others’ and we can see how other types of experiences [non- sexual] can exist due sexual attraction being a non-essential competent when developing relationships with others. For example, the term, Bambi Lesbians, refers to a woman who prefers sensual, non-sexual physical affection—such as kissing, cuddling, hugging, and holding hands—over overtly sexual intimacy [Pink News, 2024].

^{Bambi Lesbian 7 Colour Flag Created by Tumblr user wuvsbian in March 2018.}

Understanding the overlap between other queer identities, allows us to bring awareness to Asexuality and better Support each other in our journeys. All of these elements will bring us to a strong sense of Appreciation as well.

Now that we’re here, I would love to know how those key points [Understanding, Awareness, Support & Appreciation] show up in your lives in this capacity. Keep in mind, this Flag represent Asexuality in a more nuanced manner, so don’t feel the need to restrict your speech b/c everyone’s journey is different.

Next up, we’ll be talking about the Grey Stripe. Keep a eye out for that soon~

Thank you all of continuing to follow along this journey. Through all the ignorance I’ve been exposed to in the past 2.5 months, I continue to find joy in those who see themselves better represented in this flag.

If you want to support me, consider being a part of the Ace Babe Collective by being a paid subscriber on this Substack, OR, send some love to my Kofi [PNG’s & Hex Codes of this flag are available there as well!].

Just a heads up to those who follow me on my other socials, I’ve implemented a 24hr lock on comments on Instagram x Tiktok & only established followers on Facebook can comment. Folks need to sit with their thoughts more before overreacting to information that’s being shared.

Chat ya’ll later!

-Ashabi

According to Merriam -Webster, the word ‘New’ is defined as;

'Having recently come into existence : recent, modern: I saw their new baby for the first time.’

‘Beginning as the resumption or repetition of a previous act or thing: a new day, the new edition’

‘Different from one of the same category that has existed previously: new realism’

In the same breath, According to Cambridge.org, the word ‘Official’ is defined as;

‘Relating to a position of responsibility: He visited China in his official capacity as America’s trade representative.’

‘If a piece of information is official, it has been announced publicly with authority: Their engagement is now official.

Used to describe something that has been announced publicly by someone in a position of authority: So far, there has been no official announcement from the company.’

Now that you know these definitions, give yourself some time to think about how these words are being used, in the context they’re being said, before responding from an emotionally unregulated and immediately reactive place. Doing that only furthers harm, dismisses and emphasizes the issues of literacy/comprehension we’ve seen growing in the US. Let’s continue with the flag name.

A lot of people have called this, The New Asexuality Flag, as it is. But, with that label, it’s preventing people from seeing this as an addition to our community vs a replacement of the original flag. As I’ve stated, several times, I want this flag to be used in tandem with the original design. For people to be aware that this flag represents Asexuals, there has to be acknowledgement of what was present prior. While there has been amazing art showcasing the unity of both flags, for that to be distinguishable, I needed to give this a name. I’ve shared this with a few other creators on Instagram so you may have already seen it, but, I’ve decided to call it ‘The Universal Asexuality Flag’ or ‘Uni Ace Flag’ for short.

Before I get jumped again, let’s visit Merriam -Webster & look at the definition of ‘Universal’;

‘Including or covering all or a whole collectively or distributively without limit or exception’, especially: available equitably to all members of a society: universal health coverage’

‘Present or occurring everywhere, existent or operative everywhere or under all conditions: universal truths, universal cultural patterns’

‘Embracing a major part or the greatest portion (as of humankind): a universal state, universal practices’

‘Comprehensively broad and versatile: a universal genius’

I chose this name because I wanted to acknowledge two things; Asexuality from more nuanced/comprehensive perspectives/experiences, which varies from person to person, and, Space Ace’s [2.0].

In a IG Reel, I stated that the original design of the Asexuality flag reminded me of (outer) space. Space used to be seen as this ‘other thing’, ‘unfamiliar’, ‘separate from us’ and very different from the world we live in, while still being ‘vast’ ‘grandiose’ it can bring a lot of discomfort thinking about it. I’ve very regularly seen people [and to some degree, I’ve internalized certain parts of these opinions as well] think of Asexuality Similarly.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve continued to learn more about Space and my relationship with Asexuality. I’ve started to better understand & value how expansive, decorative and detailed it really is. How much depth it has and the way every new discovery/experience shared, gives us more insight on how much it encompasses and highlights where it relates to others as well. Space, just like Asexuality, is much more than what we see with our eyes, it is expansive, revealing more to us each time we speak about it to someone and every time we give ourselves an opportunity to sit with that, we open ourselves up to learning the diversity of Asexuality through each person living in this journey. In my eyes, Asexuality is a spectrum of experiences that deserve to be spoken about, acknowledged and uplifted; it is a Universal Experience, and for that reason, this flag is named to highlight & honour all of those who desire more support/celebration in that.

So, Let’s all celebrate The Universal Asexuality Flag in the ways we see fit. Again, for those who are searching, the colours of this flag & the meanings of each, are here:

Thank you all of continuing to follow along this journey. Through all the ignorance I’ve been exposed to in the past 2.5 months, I continue to find joy in those who see themselves better represented in this flag.

If you want to support me, consider being a part of the Ace Babe Collective by being a paid subscriber on this Substack, OR, send some love to my Kofi [PNG’s & Hex Codes of this flag are available there as well!].

Just a heads up to those who follow me on Instagram, Facebook & Tiktok, I will be implementing some more rules on my posts to mitigate what recently occurred here [surprisingly] and across the spaces I curate. Folks need to sit with their thoughts more before speaking so be ready for that soon!

Chat ya’ll later!

-Ashabi

I’ve shared on my Instagram/Facebook several moments discussing the issue’s I’ve seen, consistently, regarding this flag. Please give yourself an opportunity to watch them before repeating the following:

‘This looks too close to the nonbinary flag’

‘We just became recognized, this flag will further erasure’

‘I’m autistic/have ADHD, don’t like change!!’

‘Nobody is going to use this flag’ // ‘Does this mean I can’t use the other flag???’

‘Who TF Are YOU?!’ // ‘What made you think you could do this!?’

‘I won’t recognize this flag, I have to much merch of the OG design’

‘This flag look like the ‘M*Ps flag; what about the Children!?’

And so on. These comments add nothing to the conversation of progression. If anything, they show that there’s repetition across cultures when it comes to how change is received, as well as who is purposing the change. I never said this flag I created will replace the original Ace Flag. I’ve actually said, repeatedly, that folks should use both flags as a way to highlight progression in this community. There have been people who have used this flag on it’s own; that is their own personal choice and one I also fully support b/c that’s part of the freedom people have. The purpose of this flag, and the conversations that have come with it, is to engage with this sexual identity with more intention. That can only happen with more language, more representation and Change. If you are unable to push your discomfort and give yourself an opportunity to value this as way for others to feel more represented and connected to the Asexual community, whether you use the flag or not, you are acting as a barrier to progress and that’s unhelpful to you and several others Asexual people in this world.

It’s not lost on me that AVEN [Asexual Visibility & Education Network; the worlds largest Asexual Org for Resources and the body responsible for the creation of the AVEN DSM Task Force] made one comment on my post, has conveniently ‘taken a break from their socials’ since and silently watched as those aligned with this organization have continued to hurl nonsensical / baseless accusations towards me, which continued to further the harm I experienced. I’ve been ‘kindly asked’ to not share anymore screenshots from the groups I’ve been a part of for years for ‘safety reasons’ while being attacked by those same group x individuals and it’s very clear whose feelings / protection is being centered here.

Often we are told that we need ‘institutional permission’ to build & create change; to push things forward/launch our idea, we need approval from those in power. In the same breath, those [individuals, orgs, etc] part of these institutions, permit gatekeeping, exclusion and further harm of those most marginalized in the community. To be so threatened by an individual whose used their platform to educate, uplift and progress a community forward, in ways that decentralize your established authority and hold a magnifying glass to the issues that have always been present, is not disappointing but also reflective of the pattern we see at a larger scale when discussing the problems we see from government and the ways they further harm on to citizens who dare to rebel against the system. Regardless of your fear of conflict, this could’ve been an amazing opportunity to create connections people have been requesting for years, but instead, the decision to lean into maintaining your image, comfort & pockets was prioritized.

As this flag continues to gain traction and be used, globally, let’s also acknowledge the importance that comes from the alignment of this symbol and others we’ve all chosen to passively use. This was created as a way to create conversation within our community and reflect on how our experiences are not only varied, but also shared, amongst many.

We need to start to be more comfortable sitting with the discomfort that comes with not knowing, with change, with our identities and with others outside of our bubble. We need to get comfortable speaking and thinking openly about our experiences to build up our skills around engaging with more intention and competence so we’re not immediately left feeling othered when someone says ‘they don’t understand’; they don’t have to understand and you don’t need to work towards gaining validity from people who are committed to their ignorance. We need to leave room for more people in our community to find themselves a place to land when they do start to explore what Asexuality is and how it’s been a part of their lives. From the language added to the meaning of the colours of this new asexuality flag, my hope is that all of the things I mentioned, will start to occur in a more intentionally lead, collective conversations, not just celebrities or orgs positioned as ‘representatives’ of an incredibly diverse community.

This flag is not something I hope takes over the original flag, it’s something I see as an addition to our community. One people have chosen to use, by itself and/or with the original, as we all continue learning more about ourselves in this world.

For those looking to buy this new flag, I’ve excited to say you can buy it from

PrideFladSD [Please Request for the New Asexuality Flag]

Anley [More information on this process can be found on my IG]

For folks looking for ways to continue supporting me & this work; my Kofi is linked here [Support My Work & Find PNG’s/Hex Codes of this flag here]

Lastly, Yes, this flag has a name, I will share soon.

Yes, I will be talking more about the colours of this flag. Trying to get some thing out across Substack, Instagram/Facebook & Tiktok is a lot, so, please be patient with me!

New Asexuality Flag [Instagram] -April 19th

New Asexuality Flag [Facebook] -April 19th]

It’s not something I ‘wasn’t’ expecting, to be quite frank, I took my time to launch this because I was gearing up for the vitriol that occurs when Any Person of Colour, especially Black Queer Women, dare to challenge systems & take the necessary steps towards changing Anything in society. Even still, I was taken aback. Despite acknowledging and wanting more from each other as we’re trying to gain recognition in the world, it’s showed me our community has never had a strong foundation in the first place. It’s been a very eye opening experience, to say the least. Regardless, those who have been here from the start of this move towards change, as well as those who’ve only joined the conversation recently, have provided amazing feedback and support as I’ve moved towards finalizing this design. I appreciate folks who’ve seen the rudeness, tone policing, harsh speech towards me and have taken it upon themselves to advocate for me & this change to move forward. I’ve gotta say, that’s true Allyship right there 😉

I’d like to take some time to share some of the feedback, since introducing this, below:

• Reducing the colours from 6-7 [Allowing ease of reproduction].

• Including the Spectrum of Sexual Intimacy to the White Stripe [Asexuals have been seen as permanently sexual adverse/negative/repulsed, this addition was added to to be inclusive to Asexuals who are Sex-Positive /Favourable].

• Deepening the colour Pastel Yellow, brightening the Cream Colour, Brighten the Pink for more contrasting colours & for visual accessibility.

• Including ‘Self Love’ into the Pink stripe, to include those who do not align with the other types of love mentioned.

• Including Intersectionality into the Yellow Stripe:

  • Multiculturalism primarily recognizes and respects diverse cultural identities within a society, focusing on inclusion while Intersectionality is a framework highlighting how identities like race, gender, and ability do not exist separately but are interwoven, shaping power structures and individual lived experiences. Both pieces are important.

• Including different types of Intimacy to the White Stripe [Acknowledging the value in all forms of intimacy within our community; Sexual, Emotional, Intellectual, etc]

From these changes, as well as the others shared, I’ve come to a final design with updated meanings to each colour below:

Here are the updated meanings:

Black: Represents Support, Understanding, Awareness and Appreciation

Grey: Acknowledges Asexuality as a Spectrum of identities [Including Grey, Demi and MircoLabels]

White: Represents the Spectrum of Intimacy Experienced [Sexual, Physical, Emotional, Intellectual, etc]

Dandelion Yellow: Represents Multiculturalism, Intersectionality, and Joy within the Asexual Community. Promoting all activities & experiences that allow us to enhance our joy, while consciously strengthening our bonds with one another.

Pink: Represents & Acknowledges that the love we experience is true, expansive and diverse [Centers all forms of love; Self Love, Romantic, Platonic, QPR & Aromantic]

Purple/Dark Fuchsia: Represents Visibility of the Asexual Community; encouraging purposeful efforts to protect and uplift oneself, and each other, within our the society.

Tada! Here’s the New Asexuality Flag as of April 22nd, 2026!! Thank you to everyone provided insight, value, support and suggestions towards the final version. Frankly, I think this flag is Pretty AF and is a brighter, more comprehensive and intentional symbol of Asexuality. With all the work & effort I’ve put into this, having so many community members helping push this forward has brought me so much joy. It’s been heartwarming to hear feedback, especially from Aces of Colour, who’ve shared their disconnect within this community over the years and they way this New Flag allows them to finally find alignment and comfort in their identity.

To note; In many ways, I plan on continuing to move this forward, on and offline. More around this experience will be shared [trust], while providing room to elaborate on the ways this can be used in the future from folks in community; I do plan on reach out with production as well as! I’m so excited to see all the things that come and the ways we move forward towards establishing it in our own unique ways.

We also have to be mindful; for this change to stick and grown outside of Ace In Grace/online spaces, people need to learn how to speak up about this. There needs to be conversations, intentional dialogue, along with the visual change, for people, in and out of the Asexual community, to understand the value and importance of this New Flag being used. Progress doesn’t stop online, it moves offline and into our society when we are all active participants in the change we want to see.

The reason why this is happening is because of what I’ve seen over the years of me being in this community [as a lay person, educator, organizer, speaker and therapist] and my desire to continue uplifting each other by focusing on this change from within. Again, this is not a replacement of the old flag, this is an addition, a needed refresh, to the growing community of Asexual People around the world who desire & deserve adequate representation. If you do not feel pulled to use this, the old flag will always be there, there’s no offense made there. Preferably, the goal is to use both in tandem; this highlights the progression of our community. I want this to create better opportunities for Ace Babes, and those who advocates for us, to speak more confidently about our experiences as Asexual people, across societies, while this piece aids to our history and progresses the recognition and value around advocating for intentional visibility of this identity.

As always, thanks so much for being here. Make sure to find ways to stay hydrated, well fed and rested throughout the day!

With love,

✨Ashabi / Ace In Grace✨

Clarity Around The New Ace Flag

Ace Flag Revision Survey [Final Data]

Did you know about the Ace Flag Colours?

Ace Flag Revision Survey.

For context, the conversation around this [for me] has been 3 years long. I don’t believe it’s fair for so many different communities of asexual people to be so divided on this topic when ‘A’ meaning ‘Asexual’ has been the basis of our literal identities being validated for decades across society. After several, several conversations and discussions, I moved towards change vs waiting. While this resigned came from me, the conversation was consistently communal. From that, this step forward came & below is the flag that I introduced on April 6. When I hosted the live on Instagram, I was able to get more feedback on the design as well as more insight on the meanings. I assigned to each color.

During the live, I hosted on Instagram, several community members pointed out that the colors may be too close together, and could be difficult for those who are visually impaired to see. Not only that we had conversations about including sexual intimacy into the flag as well as many other things. From this discussion, I redesigned the original flag launched and adjusted the meanings I had attached to them. The feedback shared was;

• Minimizing the colors from 7 to 6; allowing this version of the flag to be easier reproduced and found when shared in Queer Spaces.

• Highlighting non-other centered love within the asexual community.

• Acknowledging that asexual people can also experience sexual intimacy & including this spectrum into this flag.

• Brightening the colors of this flag so the Cream/White and Pastel Yellow stand out more.

• Possibly combining the Violet and Dark Fuchsia/Purple line in the flag for visual ease.

From the feedback shared, below are the updates.

Reduction of lines from 7 to 6 Colours; Removing the Violet and leaving the Purple/Dark Fuchsia Colour in the flag.

Strengthening the contrast of the colours; allowing them to stand out more and be better for those who are visually impaired.

Adjusting the meanings of the colours in this flag to better represent several experiences in the Asexual Community;

Black: Represents Connection, Support, Understanding, Awareness and Appreciation

Grey: Acknowledges Asexuality as a Spectrum of identities [Including Grey, Demi and MircoLabels]

White: Spectrum of Sexual Intimacy [SOSI]: Sex-positive, Sex-negative, Sex-favorable, Sex-neutral indifferent, Sex-averse and Sex-repulsed

[Pastel] Yellow: Acknowledges our community as a collection of multicultural experiences that allow us to better connect with one another, and our joy, more intentionally

Pink: Represents & Acknowledges that the love we experience is true, expansive and diverse [centers all forms of love; self love, romantic, platonic, QPR, Aromantic]

Purple/Dark Fuchsia: Represents Visibility of the Asexual Community as well as the efforts to protect and uplift oneself, and each other, within our the society

To me, this redesign feels a lot better. No only do these colours pop more, the variations [pastel, neon, high contrast] can be explored with ease, but the meanings of these colours feel better aligned to many of our experiences as Asexual people!

But, that’s my opinion on the matter. What do you guys think about this? I would love to continue hearing from community about this and push this forward. I don’t see myself changing these colours again but I don’t doubt that folks will have thoughts about the meanings. With that, please share them!

As always, I appreciate all of you who’ve been a part of this amazing journey with me. I hope you guys continue to be here as this grows! Be sure to stay hydrated and snack when you can. I will be going live again on my Instagram this Sunday @ 8PM CST. Please join and let’s continue the conversation!

Later Ace Babes~

Ashabi

International Asexuality Day (IAD) is celebrated annually on April 6 to promote awareness, advocacy, education, and solidarity for the asexual (ACE) community worldwide. Founded in 2021, this global campaign focuses on visibility for the entire ace spectrum—including demisexuality and grey-asexuality—aiming to combat the erasure of asexual identities [Heckin’ Unicorn, 2025].

The core themes of this day revolve around ACES:

A (dvocacy)
C (elebration)
E (ducation)
S (olidarity)

It’s been incredible to see how much progress has occurred within the last 6 years and I’m grateful to be a part of what has helped moved conversations forward towards the inclusion of Asexuality in the world. While I’m all in support of this, I’ve been left with a sour taste in my mouth, especially since diving deeper into the the Asexual flag’s meaning and how our community seems to still lack representation that allows all of us to be seen.

In 2023, I spent time looking into the other Pride Flags in the Queer community and found something in ours that made me feel odd. I asked folks if they knew what the colours of our flag represented. For context, the colour of the Asexual Flag are Black, Grey, White & Purple [Black for Asexuality, Grey for Asexuality and Demisexuality, White for Non-Asexual Partners & Allies and Purple for Community]

Ace In Grace [May 2023]

Not only did several people not know, even more seemed uncomfortable with the idea that our flag held space for those who were not a part of this community. This sat with me for some time, especially since, within the collective queer community, there has been so much work to remove the attachment of ‘Allies’ to the ‘A’ in the LGBTQIA acronym:

A is Not for Ally: Spare a Thought for Invisible Identities this Pride Month [2018]

In the LGBTQIA+ Community, The A is Not for Ally [2023]

There was even a point in 2017, when I was on the organizing board for MBLGTACC, we advocated for and moved to change the ‘A’ from Allies to ‘Asexual’. This change has been sought out, advocated for and implemented in several ways over many years. Even with the changes towards inclusivity outside of the asexual community, our flag has not kept up-to-date. In 2023, I took it upon myself to ask the AVEN board about the possibility of changing the meaning of the white stripe in the ace flag to something more representative of the community we are all in. During this meeting all members of the AVEN board, minus Yasmin, were present to hear more about this idea. During the conversation, I was not aware of how heated it would be to maintain space for allies in our flag.

As conversation ensued, one of the board members share the reason allies are represented our flag is to show appreciation & acknowledge how much effort and work they have put into making sure that our identity is visible and seen as valid. While I understand the importance of advocacy from others, I do not believe that they deserve a place in a flag, due to the fact that True Allyship involves advocacy of the marginalized group being advocated for. It’s not automatic "membership" into a community simply for holding sympathetic views nor should it take space or take away from those who are part of the community. Not only that, we’ve seen, across marginalized experiences, that Allyship is inconsistent and has been seen / proven to not hold weight when challenged, or when told that more needs to be done to decenter themselves and center those in community who’ve experienced that harm and need the most support. I will always appreciate those who understand and do the work that goes into being a true advocate for marginalized communities, while understanding that, at the end of the day, the focus needs to be on us.

During this meeting, I stated that this desire to over center allies is unhelpful, I even made the comparison to The Black Lives Matter movements, and how over centering white and non-Black people in the space takes away from the meaning of the movement and the necessary steps people need to take to make sure that Black people are the ones whose voices are being amplified in the space. When I said this, the space was filled with silence and blank stares by the board; the meeting of five, including myself, quickly turn to a meeting of four. I was shocked that this lead to such discomfort. Despite my impassioned statement, the same individual on the board continued to state that allies need to have a place in our flag, and need to be represented.

As the conversation continued, I suggested creating a survey to ask those within the asexual community how they felt about changing the meaning of the white stripe to something more inclusive, and despite this individual, stating that they were in opposition to this change, they agreed to support. One other person on the board also shared that they we're on board for the change, so long as the purple stayed in the flag. From there, I created the Ace Flag Revision Survey and shared this on my page to get more insight from those within the community.

At first, several of the responses I gained were negative. I was bombed with comments stating that ‘I did not know the history of the flag’, ‘this change was unnecessary’, ‘You’re being disrespectful’ and that ‘I didn't know what I was talking about’. Despite these comments leaving me distressed and defeated, I left the survey up to hear what other people had to say. From this, I gained a lot more insight that was justified around the desire to change this meaning in our flag. I concluded the data collection of a survey in Fall 2025 and shared the results on the Ace In Grace Instagram Page.

The results that came from the survey showed me that many people weren't comfortable with ‘Allies’ being over-centered in the Ace Flag & part of our history, and many more people were excited about the possibility of this change happening. I shared the results and the raw data with the AVEN board with the intention of having a follow up conversation that would lead to a change. Instead, what I was met with was a generic response, stating that they reviewed what I shared and would reach back out.

You can guess that no follow up was had and I was left with no resolution. This continued to leave me with frustrations within the community [if you wonder why I take long breaks from posting on Ace In Grace, this is part of that reason] that I’m suppose to be represented by and the ways that intercommunity conversations occur when yet again, Allyship is being challenged.

So this International Asexuality Day, I have taken upon myself to move towards no longer asking for permission from those who are in power. I feel as though 15+ years is long enough to have a flag that does not fully represent those in community and to create one that does. Allowing people to, not only understand what each colour shown means, but be proud to wear it and wave it around, knowing that they are represented appropriately. I’ve kept in mind the options that people have shared and suggested from the survey and here’s what I'm sharing with the community as the new Asexual Flag moving forward in 2026.

Black: Represents Connection, Support & Understanding

Grey: Acknowledges Asexuality as a Spectrum of identities [Grey, Demi, MircoLabels]

Off White: Awareness and Appreciation

Cream/Pastel Yellow: Acknowledges our community as a collection of diverse experiences that allow us all to connect with others and to our joy more intentionally

Pink: Represents & Acknowledges that the Love we experience is true, expansive and diverse [centers all forms of love, romantic, platonic, QPR, Aromantic]

Violet: Inner work towards self preservation and community care

Dark Fuchsia / Purple: Represents The Asexual Community and Visibility from within and the worlds around us.

This is my contribution to the community that has provided me space and a platform to advocate from within. By no means am I forcing you to stop using the flag was established 15+ years ago, by the contrary, please feel free to use both! I’m only stating that since I’ve made my way in to this space, I’ve found myself distancing from this flag and have decided to create on that represents me and the work I will continue to do.

Overall, This International Asexuality Day has proven eventful across the board. Yasmin has been doing a lot of work as well with organizations that support advocacy work of the Asexual Community, do your best to support these efforts when they come across your page!

I’m excited to hear from the rest of community on how the ‘New Asexual Flag’ may resonate with ya’ll. I believe change from within is what inspires changes from others and I hope this can be a step towards that, for everyone who finds there way into this community.

As always, take care of yourselves, of each other and make sure you enjoy a sweet treat when you can!

-Ashabi~

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