It was also during this period that I found my purpose. Right after I turned 31, I figured out exactly what I wanted to do with the rest of my life

- telling stories.

Sometime in December 2019, I was scrolling through the internet when a headline stopped me. Jason Njoku, founder of IrokoTV, had spent 13 months isolated in his room building his first product.

I was still figuring out a lot of things back then.

I asked myself - how does a man lock himself away like that? How does he know it’s going to work? Wasn’t he afraid of going broke, of failing, of never figuring it out? But IrokoTV was already a thing by then, so I kept scrolling with one thought in my head: whenever I know exactly what I want to do, I’ll do what Jason did. I’ll lock myself away for as long as it takes and build it.

That’s the story of how my 2026 started.

I’ve never been so sure, so afraid, and so excited about anything in my life

as much as I am about this.

There’s a detail from my kidnapping I never got to share here - you can read the full story in the previous issue. But what I will tell you is this: a week after I had conceptualized PTBCI, I started to doubt myself. As is my nature, I gave in to those doubts and began to shut the idea down. I told myself it was too much work.

Then I got kidnapped. I thought I was going to be killed. I said my final prayers. But somehow, I saw the sun rise the following morning, and that’s when I knew - there was more to this. I had a mission to fulfil. God had just walked me through my Jonah experience.

So I started building.

In November, I made the very first announcement,

and spent all of December working.

Proverbs 19:21

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”

What I’m about to share was supposed to happen in January. But with how much we’ve built now and how much we know, announcing then would have been premature.

For every breakthrough, there was always another way to make things better. That was when I realised the motion, then I remembered Jason Njoku, and I knew what I had to do. Lock myself in, until I figure this out. Also, no distractions, so I cut my hair.

And when I say we, I mean we. I have a partner, and PTBCI has a Director of Operations.

We spent the last few months going back and forth on ideas, putting in the needed work, sacrificing time, energy, and resources, and holding the brush as steady as possible just so the outcome would be a masterpiece.

But you will meet him in due time.

Protect The Boy Child Initiative

One of the most painful things I see today is that boys and young men are growing up without real role models - lost, misguided, or simply with no sense of direction. Something has shifted, and the gap between the men we need and the men being raised is widening every day. PTBCI exists to close that gap - across age groups, across generations.

One thing kept coming up as we dug deeper into this work - a truth so simple it’s almost easy to miss.

The final stage of becoming a man is understanding your father.

In July of 2025, 1 had a conversation with a couple of gentlemen, where we needed to take a step back and exhale. For well over a year after that, I sat with a thought -

That’s what led us here.

#closethegap - our first official campaign, is a documentary about real men, with real stories, in the places they call home. We strongly believe that you can’t provide a solution without first knowing the problem, and you can’t close a gap you haven’t first been honest about. In doing this, I figured one thing out.

Every Man Has An Inner Child … Unhealed.

Follow us on our socials and read more here - ptbci.substack.com (they have something they want to say to you 😉 )

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lately, i’ve been reconnecting with a lot of people from my past (life before 2022) and im finally coming to terms with the fact that i have to constantly summarize what my life is like now to every one i re-connect with. in a way, this has forced me to step outside my current reality to gain a broader sense of the world that’s happening around me.

— i think i’m living a sheltered life: and for the longest time, i fought this. there are things that involve my daily life/routine now that seems odd or unimaginable to someone who has a regular life. and it’s all crazy to me because, regular means so differently to me. when i started working in a bank, i had imagined a quiet intimate bachelors life in a two bedroom apartment where i get to spend the weekends with my boys and special days with my partner. a simple and quiet life with vested interests in politics and fashion - that was the plan. to build a career and become someone important in future; somewhat.

then the unexpected happened and everything changed. i can tell you for free - this life that i had dreamed up earlier, was absolute bullshit. in no way should receiving payment only 12 times a year ever be accepted. now - i can’t wrap my head around it. i’ve tried to justify it but it still doesn’t make any sense. i think what’s even crazier to me was realizing that no one ever became wealthy simply by earning a salary - you just had to do more. i’ve lived a better part of the last couple of years wondering why i applied for the show, but i’ve also always pondered on what life would have been like if i hadn’t, and with my current pov, i’m glad i never got the former.

i went on the show once, made it till the end, went back right after, made it till the end, worked on the show for the next season (a 360 experience), then i went to egypt, walked in the pyramids and saw the red sea - these aren’t normal experiences that anyone just has. and it’s been such an ordeal to manage because you can’t explain it to anyone else. literally not a single person, because this, whatever this is; doesn’t just happen to everyone. i don’t even know why i got to have it and it’s been keeping me up at night, a lot. one unfortunate outcome from all of this is that, i’m no longer deluded into thinking that things can change anymore - you can imagine the access i have now, the things i know and i still don’t see an outcome where everyone benefits. it took me a hot minute but i now understand why a lot of people (who know) are quiet. they’ve seen this too and they get it. maybe things will change, i hope for things to change, but the odds of things ever changing (for the better) is very slim. for you see, a lot of people bank on hope.

and that’s the one commodity that’s been sold as a novelty. i wish i could explain this even further, but the people who will see this wouldn’t even understand (what i’m talking about) and that’s what is so infuriating. change is a necessity but change can only come from the people who want it and if your only experience is your immediate reality (just like me earlier) you cannot possibly see that you need change. there’s a lot of things you may not understand because it’s not your area of immediate concern. but i promise you, not everything that seems questionable is happening without due reason. there are people, who know things you don’t know and they’re using it to their advantage.

i’m not sure what the purpose of all of this is, but i’ve been paying attention to zodiac signs a little bit and i’m starting to lean into my star sign: being the scale and finding the balance. i’ve been forced to conform because being different kind of makes you an odd one out and you kind of need community to grow. so i guess, i lost a part of myself. but somehow, i started to trace my steps and i’ve found semblance of that spirit of defiance and stubbornness in my thoughts and reactions to thinks. but i am now guided by extra years of experience and i have found a bit of balance - so my disposition is now different. change might be difficult at large, but nothing ever said we couldn’t conquer the ones within us first. i have now learned that, nothing that truly happens on the outside is important enough to bother us and the real work is on the inside. and just as me, someone who had a stoic and rigid way of living only a few years ago could change and adapt and come to terms with his new reality, just imagine how much of a shift and attitude change everyone can have - if they allow themselves see beyond what they currently know. maybe, just maybe then, things might start to change.

yours ever changing,

Adékúnlé.

p.s. Watch My Latest Tecno Video Here

Secondly, stop attacking the president. This might not make sense, but, whether you like it or not, just as you’re not a fan of the president, some people support and believe in him. Therefore, directly attacking the President can be counterproductive, because, other than the natural supporters he has, dedicated teams are in place to defend him. So, for every 10 people condemning the President, 100 people are defending him. It’s a numbers game, and motivation is also a key factor. As an opposition, your approach is passion led and passion will burn out in the long run, if you encounter a greater motivation (which is what the supporters have; a greater motivation) which is either financial or beneficial because it's tied to immediate personal gain, unlike the often idealistic and less tangible rewards of passionate opposition. No one wants to back a losing horse.

So what should you do?

Instead, focus your efforts on the government's actions and policies. What has happened in the last 2 years? Scrutinize the work being done and pose targeted, impactful questions.

For instance:

• After two years of "subsidy savings," where are these funds being allocated, and how have they impacted the lives of the people?

• The cost of living is higher now because the country is generating IGR. However, it is important to ask, what is the money being generated used for, and why can’t the people feel it?

• Why is the budget focused on some areas more than others?

• In terms of infrastructure, why are certain states receiving more focus than others?

• Security? How many lives have been lost, and how has the government responded to the crisis?

• All the projects being commissioned, how much goes into the commissioning, and do these projects truly warrant celebration?

Ask the right questions.

By posing such questions, you allow those responsible for defending the government’s actions to provide answers, and if they don’t provide answers, you’ve succeeded in enlightening the public about certain things they’ve missed and therefore, initiated a more effective opposition strategy.

Another thing is key.

Understanding Your Audience.

Do you know that less than 50% of Nigeria’s population is online, and these figures aren’t evenly distributed. According to the most recent updates provided by Google;

• Facebook has 38.7 million

• TikTok has 37.4 million

• Instagram has 12.75 million

• X has 7.57 million Nigerian users

These platforms collectively reach approximately 96.42 million Nigerians, which still represents less than half of the country's population.

So, as an opposition, which audience are you speaking to, on which platform, and most especially, how exactly are you communicating to them?

Remember, the true impact of policies is felt by the people they are intended to serve, and if the public isn't experiencing the intended benefits, then the government of the day has failed, and that's precisely where the opposition should focus its attention.

The Power of Information and Grassroots Engagement

Information is a powerful tool, and that’s why governments like to control the media, the influencers, and the authority figures in communities as a survival mechanism. If you were in their shoes, you would do the same thing too. What you need to realize as an opposition is, many citizens remain unaware of key issues, and simply informing the populace can be a game-changer in any political contest. Your goal should be to enlighten the public. All they know is that they’re suffering and what the government has told them. But what they don’t know is “Why They’re Suffering Because Of The Government”.

Consider where the majority of potential voters are located and how best to reach them. You want an even easier approach? Do exactly what the current government did to attain power, only just, do it better.

Ultimately, you’d have to remember one thing - Elections Are Not Won Online, and your offline strategy is just as important as the online. Election season is a few months away, which gives room for more time to plan and get it right. Rushing into the race doesn’t necessarily mean winning the race. Nigerians are patient and resilient people. They will withstand if given a reason to, and they will fight back when they need to. Right now, there’s no hope in sight, and that is why they do not support the opposition. Give them a reason to, give them a candidate they can believe in. Give them a candidate who will put their well-being first, and watch how everything automatically falls in line.

Get this right, and 2027 is yours for the taking.

This past week, I had an extensive and eye-opening conversation with a female friend about money, confidence, and expectations (safe to say that’s what inspired this writeup). It made me realise that men and women have different expectations, realities, and perspectives when it comes to relationships. Platonic or intimate.

These factors quietly shape how men and women connect, love, and sometimes drift apart. Men often tie their worth to their ability to provide, while women value emotional safety and partnership. When financial roles shift or pressure mounts, it can create silent tensions that no one talks about enough.

In this newsletter, I will talk about these realities—why love alone isn’t always enough, how ego, insecurity, and trauma play a huge part, and what both partners can and need to do to build stronger, more understanding relationships. If you’ve ever wondered why finding the “right” relationship feels so hard, why you can’t stand talking stages anymore, why everyone you’re meeting is the same, and why it looks like no one is worth it anymore, then this one’s for you.

Let’s dive into it.

The Pressure to Provide

You hear men talk about pressure all the time, and often (as a woman), you wonder, “Why don't men speak out enough?”. To understand this pressure, consider how boys are raised and socialised from childhood. Phrases like “boys don’t cry,” “be a man,” or “why are you acting like a woman” aren’t just clichés.

They are statements that embed deeply and establish a rigid emotional framework in a formative mind. Boys learn early that showing vulnerability or failure is unacceptable, and putting up a brave face, always showing up, not making excuses, and being the “head of the family” is the alternative to being strong and being the provider.

What does this do?

It creates the idea that a man’s worth is tied to his ability to provide, and time and time again, this has always been the case. When you hear statements like “can you afford me”, or “you need to be able to take care of my bills”. Not everyone says this, but for thousands of years, societies have rewarded men who gather resources, protect, and provide shelter, and that’s not just a stereotype. Thanks to technology and civilisation, that instinct now plays out differently. Instead of hunting for food, men work jobs, chase promotions, or build businesses.

The pressure remains the same. If a man feels like he’s not measuring up financially, it can trigger a sense of inadequacy that impacts every part of his life—from his mental health to his relationships and when he struggles financially, it’s not just about money; it’s about the message his mind interprets: “I’m failing as a man.” And because masculinity is often closely tied to pride and independence, this feeling can be crushing.

But here’s the thing that no one focuses on:

Men are not taught how to cope with this inadequacy emotionally. They learn along the way. They are encouraged to “man up” or keep it inside. This silence can breed resentment, frustration, and withdrawal, which poisons relationships and can have an impact on your relationship (if you happen to be with him at this time). When you define manhood, you think of financial success, and this isn’t just about the money itself; it’s about what money represents—power, independence, and respect.

Men often feel they must “earn” respect through their ability to provide. I mean, wouldn’t you respect a man more if he could handle your bills and provide for you?

This creates a paradox: the pressure to succeed can drive ambition, but it can also lead to intense stress and fear of failure. When a man hits a financial setback—losing a job, struggling with debt, or facing career uncertainty- it can cause an identity crisis. The silence fuels misunderstanding and often leads to a phrase many are familiar with:

“he has changed.”

Well, Not All Women Want a Man Because of His Money

Yes, that may be true, and sometimes, women often look for a partnership of two equals navigating life side by side, someone they can build with. This often happens when a woman is financially secure, and the man isn’t. Many women see their financial independence as freedom, not leverage. They want to love someone for who they are, not what they can provide.

Take, for example, a couple where the woman is the breadwinner and the man is between jobs. She offers support, but he withdraws emotionally. He’s ashamed to ask for help, worried about losing respect, and uncertain how to redefine his role.

No relationship is ever secret. You will either have friends who know or family members who are aware. They go to events or functions as a group, and it’s time to pay. There’s a contribution for an event coming up. While the couple might understand their dynamic, the outlook of the situation and the conversation that follows will stress both the man and the woman. Statements like, “Why are you with a man who can’t pay for XYZ?” “You shouldn’t be the one doing this.” “Why are you letting your woman embarrass you by paying for your bills?” “Guy, na man you be o”.

You can imagine what a ride back home will feel like. This dynamic can create tension. The woman may feel rejected or confused, wondering why her love and support aren’t enough. The man, on the other hand, feels trapped between needing help, wanting independence, and struggling to get his identity back.

Let’s explore this from the other side.

Many women today are financially independent, educated, and successful. They grew up watching their mothers or role models thrive on their terms. For them, dating a man who isn’t financially stable is not a dealbreaker, instead, it’s an opportunity to support and grow together.

During our conversation, my friend said, “If I love someone, I want to be their partner in every sense. That includes helping them get back on their feet if needed.” I thought this was a beautiful sentiment and a modern take on partnership. It breaks the mould of expecting men to be providers and women to be receivers. It focuses on teamwork and mutual support.

However, many men can’t receive this help without feeling vulnerable or diminished. They may believe accepting help means admitting defeat or losing their role as protector (remember how they were raised and socialised from boyhood). Situations like this are where many relationships struggle silently. The woman is ready to support, but the man’s pride and internal narrative get in the way. The result? Distance grows, resentment settles in, love dies.

But How Do You Fix That?

I’d love to hear from you.

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Love Can’t Grow Where Ego Feels Small

Understanding the ego’s role in relationships is essential. When ego is wounded, it’s not about pride in the negative sense—it’s about the survival of self-esteem. Imagine a man who’s always been the provider suddenly depends on someone else's income. He is not used to it, and his internal self will struggle with acceptance. He might feel his identity slipping away, and this isn’t about greed or arrogance; it is about how he measures his worth.

This feeling of inadequacy can lead to distancing behaviours—becoming emotionally unavailable, avoiding intimacy, or even pushing the partner away to protect oneself from perceived rejection. For many men, ego is tightly linked to the ability to provide, and when that ability is compromised, the ego feels threatened, and you’re battling an internal voice saying, “You’re not good enough.” The frustration isn’t about the woman, but the gap between who the man wants to be, who he thinks he is, and who he is in that moment.

For the woman, it can be painful and confusing. Ego is often misunderstood as pure arrogance or selfishness. In reality, it’s a protective mechanism—the part of us that safeguards our self-esteem and identity. Understanding this dynamic is crucial for both partners. Love requires vulnerability—but if one partner’s ego is constantly bruised, that vulnerability becomes difficult to sustain.

Just to make sure I haven’t lost you yet, this article is about love, confidence, gender roles, and why relationships often don't last. So far, we have talked about how a man’s confidence can either make or break a relationship, and most of the examples given are to draw a connection if you have ever been in a similar scenario and never got the chance to understand “why” your relationship/situation ended abruptly and didn’t workout. If you’ve enjoyed reading this so far, maybe share it with your friends too. You never know who else this might speak to.

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Now, where were we?

So, Are You Saying Women Should Give Up on Their Dreams and Ambitions Because Their Partner Can’t Accept Help?

Well, the answer is no. But there is a real-life issue here that leads to why High-Value Women Struggle to Find Partners.

Let’s break it down. High-value women—successful, confident, and independent, who society applauds for their achievements —face a unique challenge. Dating isn’t always easy. Some men perceive a power imbalance and fear they’ll never “measure up.”

This fear isn’t about competition; it’s about compatibility. When a woman lives a certain lifestyle—fine dining, travel, looks —she often seeks a partner who can share and contribute to that lifestyle. Otherwise, there’s a risk of feeling out of sync.

Unfortunately, a lot of men don’t fit into this bracket, and I say this with deep regret. The few that do are already taken, and the rest never meet the relationship quota (for obvious reasons), and there is a reason why this happens to be the case.

I’ll break it down—and this is something I have had to think about extensively.

Remember, a man’s and a woman’s life are completely different.

Let’s say a man and a woman work in the same field, office, job description, salary, etc. With both individual incomes, if a woman wants to travel today and spend on certain luxuries, and she doesn't want to touch her salary, she can. All she needs to do is reach out to her brother(s), her father, or her close male friends to handle these bills for her, and as long as they have the means, they will do it because, remember, a man is raised and socialised from boyhood to be a provider and protector.

A man, on the other hand, wanting to travel and afford certain luxuries, has his salary to depend on. Unless he is from a wealthy background, and even if his father is well-to-do and can provide it, a man giving another man money for luxuries and trips isn't common. You can say he should ask his sister, mother, or close female friends. Yes! But really, how many times do women give men money? Don’t get me wrong, I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but is it common? A man is wired to focus on bills and expenses first, to provide, before luxuries take place.

The sad reality is, many men have internalised beliefs about masculinity that make dating high-value women intimidating. The idea that “I should be the provider” clashes with reality, and if you can’t happen to provide when your woman asks, it usually causes doubt and self-judgment.

*I hope this explanation doesn’t get misinterpreted and leads to something else.*

So, What Should Women Do?

There’s a growing conversation about successful, independent, and confident women who are often portrayed as empowered and free, but their dating experiences tell a different story - we have established that. Women who fall into this category find the dating pool surprisingly shallow. Many men feel intimidated or inadequate compared to a woman’s financial or social success, and no woman wants that mentality around her. Sadly, this isn’t about greed or superficiality—it’s human nature and societal conditioning. Men want to, no, they need to feel like leaders, providers, or equals. If they sense they’re outpaced financially or socially, they retreat or lose confidence in pursuing a relationship.

Women, on the other hand, often want a partner who’s confident and complements them and matches their level of success. It’s just easier that way—someone who can share their lifestyle, ambitions, and challenges. This mismatch creates tension and frustration on both sides, leaving many successful women single or settling for less than they deserve.

To be honest, there is..

What Should Be and What Is.

We all have an idealised vision of love. We think love should be unconditional, effortless, and transformative. But love in practice is complex. Financial realities shape many aspects of relationships: where you live, how you spend holidays (if you celebrate holidays), your priority on health, what experiences you share, and even how you see yourself (I’m sure most of you hadn’t even considered these things before). For some people, it’s religion, for others, it's whether you can afford certain things or not.

When one partner feels financially vulnerable, it affects everything else—trust, communication, and a way forward. The challenge is balancing ideals with realities. Accepting that money matters doesn’t mean love is transactional, but it does mean that financial compatibility and mutual respect are important.

During our conversation, my friend argued and said, “this dynamic shouldn’t exist in the first place, and a woman offering to help her partner out shouldn't be a big deal”. I agree wholeheartedly, and I wish this were the case. To be fair, it is hopeful and idealistic, and in a perfect world, love transcends money, status, and social expectations. But the reality is messier and completely different.

Love happens in a context shaped by money, culture, and unspoken rules. Ignoring these realities leads to frustration and disappointment. A woman who wants emotional safety might need financial safety too. A man who struggles financially might find it hard to be emotionally available. Accepting this doesn’t mean cynicism. It means being honest about what each partner brings and what they need.

If you happen to find yourself in this situation (with a partner that you want things to work out with), you would need to have a conversation about it and help your partner see things from your point of view, help your partner get past whatever childhood and societal ideologies he’s holding on to, and find a balance or compromise. And if it doesn’t serve you, you should definitely leave.

I feel like I have said so much already. I hope I haven’t lost you yet.

There is still an angle I would like us to consider, and that’s the fact that many of us live in an imaginative and fantasy world, and we somehow bring that into our relationships.

We set unrealistic expectations when it comes to “love” based on what we see online, what we imagine, without actually thinking about the person first, and even understanding our partners.

Let’s call it, not understanding our partners’ love languages, and it’s…

The Real Reasons Why Relationships Fail

1. Misaligned Timing: Sometimes, two people simply aren’t ready for the same kind of commitment. One might be focused on career, healing from past wounds, or personal growth. While the other is ready for life forever.

2. Unmet Emotional Needs: One partner might crave affection and reassurance, while the other offers financial support but struggles to connect emotionally.

3. Insecurity & Ego: When financial imbalance exists, ego and insecurity often get amplified, leading to jealousy, resentment, or withdrawal.

4. Expectations vs. Reality: Social media glamorises perfect couples with perfect lives, setting unrealistic standards that pressure both partners who consume such content.

5. Lack of Self-Awareness: Many people enter relationships hoping to be “fixed” or completed, without doing their internal work first. The thought that healing can come from affection is misguided. It can comfort, it can guide, but healing is always internal, especially when one is ready.

So, What’s the Solution?

Relationships require honesty, vulnerability, and effort from both partners.

For Men: Your self-worth is not just in your paycheck. It’s in your values, your effort, your character. Build your confidence by setting goals beyond money—personal growth, emotional intelligence, or creativity. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Ask for help when you need it.

• Reflect on your identity beyond finances. What other strengths define you?

• Practice vulnerability. Share your fears and struggles with trusted people.

• Seek growth in emotional intelligence. Understand your feelings and communicate them.

For Women: Recognise that some men struggle with financial pressure deeply and silently. When you say you want something and he can’t provide it, that is not the time to shame him, mock/abuse, or make him feel less of a man. It is especially not an opportunity for you to seek the solution elsewhere (outside). Offer support, but also communicate clearly about boundaries and expectations. Know your worth, but allow space for your partner to grow at his own pace. And make sure that you are with someone who understands.

• Communicate your needs and boundaries clearly.

• Offer support without rescuing. Encourage independence, not dependency.

• Be patient with your partner’s growth, but don’t sacrifice your worth.

• Recognise that love is a partnership, not a competition.

For Everyone: Relationships are partnerships, not competitions. Invest time in understanding your own needs and your partner’s. Practice empathy, patience, and honest communication. Be willing to say the hard things gently and listen without judgment.

• Prioritise emotional safety. Create space to talk honestly without judgment.

• Work on self-awareness. Understand your triggers, fears, and hopes.

• Reject perfectionism. Love is about growth and effort, not flawless harmony.

• Seek external support if needed—therapy, coaching, or mentoring can help.

At The End Of All Of This, What Do I Think?

Love is a journey of two imperfect people learning to be vulnerable together. It’s about showing up, being honest, and choosing each other even when things aren’t perfect. Money, ego, and expectations will always play a role. The difference lies in how you navigate those challenges. The real question is: Are you willing to look inward, grow, and love beyond your fears? Because when you do, you find a love that’s deeper than status, richer than wealth, and stronger than any obstacle.

In the end, love is messy, imperfect, and complicated—but that’s what makes it real. You don’t have to be perfect to deserve love. You don’t have to have it all figured out to be a good partner. The real work is in being authentic—showing up as your true self, with your strengths and vulnerabilities, and finding someone who accepts you fully.

Has This Article Been Helpful in Any Way?

If you said yes, and you are looking to improve your relationship life, here are some practical exercises and reflection questions for you to consider.

For Self-Reflection:

1. What beliefs about money and love did you grow up with? How do they affect your relationships now?

2. How do you define your self-worth? Is it tied to your financial status or something deeper?

3. What fears come up when you think about being vulnerable with a partner?

For Couples:

1. Have an honest conversation about financial expectations and emotional needs.

2. Practice active listening—try to understand your partner’s fears without judgment.

3. Set shared goals that go beyond money—emotional connection, growth, and support.

If you found this article helpful, you can share it with your friends, admirers, talking stages, contact list, or people within your community. We can help address some societal issues and perhaps even make the world a better place. #Delulu

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Until my next newsletter,

Deks.

I thought Work-Life balance was hard, then I realized that Work-Out balance is even harder.

I haven't been to the gym in a month now, and it’s because I thought I could juggle work and life easily. But as things got more demanding at work, my workouts were the first to suffer – and by extension, I felt a disconnect from the energy I usually bring to our community.

During this time away, something I’ve always known became even clearer: the longer you're out of the gym, the tougher it is to get back in. All the progress, effort, and healthy habits you've built slowly start to fade, especially when it comes to eating well.

But that’s not all I’ve been thinking about.

Eating healthy can feel expensive, and I'm not going to pretend otherwise, especially with the rising cost of food we're all experiencing here in Nigeria. Many of the foods that support a healthy lifestyle don't come cheap. However, that doesn't mean your weight goals or fitness journey are out of reach. A lot of it comes down to making sustainable lifestyle changes and adjusting to our current realities.

For example, if you want to lose weight, it often involves eating slightly less, swapping sugary drinks for fruits, increasing physical activity, and remembering that consistency is key. It’s not a quick fix; fitness is truly a lifestyle. And if you're looking to build muscle or gain weight, that means eating more nutrient-dense foods and, of course, hitting the gym and engaging in regular physical activity.

The truth is, there's no magic bullet, but with research and thoughtful adjustments to your lifestyle, you absolutely can achieve your goals. I hope this reminder helps, and please know I'm always here to answer any questions you might have.

Speaking of getting back on track,

starting next week, I'm fully locking back into the gym!

I’m dedicating myself to one solid month to make up for my time away. My focus is on bulking up, building muscle, and reducing excess fat. I'll be posting daily (or frequent) updates about my journey, the struggles, and the wins (as this community was always intended for sharing), and I'm hoping you'll join me in whatever fitness goals you have too! Let's motivate each other.

During this one month, I’m planning to document everything: the exercises I'm doing, my diet, lifestyle adjustments, and all things healthy and fitness-related. By the end of this experiment, I'm aiming to compile all this information into a wellness/fitness ebook on what worked (and what didn't) for me in getting better with working out.

If you’re looking to join my fitness community, simply click this link - GETTING FIT WITH DEKS and invite your friends to also join in. Let’s work out as a family.

Let's get fitter and healthier together!

Yours hoping to get fitter soon,

Deks.

and I saw one response that shocked me. But I wasn’t hurt or downtrodden by it. Instead, I found it funny and thought to myself. Do I need to respond to this person?

I was subtly reminded why I have stayed away from X. Too many bitter and unhappy people want to share the bitterness. But I was also reminded of something. I’m 30 now, and I’m now in a very different space.

Reflections

I remember when I came out of the house and realized I had a fanbase and what that might mean. “Yes!” I got so excited because my goal of wanting to build a community of young people I can always reach out to and maybe even help seemed more realistic. I mean, I didn’t plan for it to happen just then, but then it did. Many months down the line, after towing a new path AND MAKING MANY MISTAKES, I soon (later) realized that preparedness is key.

The Key

I grew up believing that, when one door closes, you go to another building. From the time I could think on my own, I never agreed with the idea that when something fails or doesn’t work out, that’s the end of something. I just always looked ahead and waited for the next opportunity.

Opportunity doesn’t actually come once.

As they made us believe. As a business owner and a creative person, you’d have a lot of stories of failed attempts at something. A new idea, a new approach, a new attempt. And most times, the disappointment hits us harder than we expect, and we let it get to us. But for some reason, I always saw it as an opportunity to learn. I always called it a “lesson fee.” So, every time I failed at something, I always looked for what made that experience different and how I could use that knowledge to be better next time. A beautiful example is my two times on the show. You could see the difference. The second time, I was prepared. I had taken all the lessons from my mistakes the first time, learned from them and when the opportunity presented itself again, I was ready and that was … the key.

I think that “second time” is now.

Islanders - a community of people who shared a passion for a show and fell in love with a stranger and made it their duty to ensure that this stranger stayed as long as he could on the show amidst all the adversities, and even when the show was over; these group of people made sure that their love for this individual didn’t wither and they will be there with him, every step of the way. This group of people are my people. And I am forever grateful for this extended fanmily God has blessed me with.

How Can I Help and How Can I Give Back?

That’s all I started to think about. With all the experiences I’ve gathered in life, how can it serve my people? What can my fame do for as many Islanders as possible? These started to become my everyday thoughts. So, every now and then, when I could, I would help to repost businesses: using my platform. When I felt there was a need to address a certain issue relating to business, I would always offer suggestions. In terms of Personal Growth, what could I do? Maybe periodic Spaces where I share lessons could help. I started to think.

No one will tell you that thinking becomes almost impossible when you’re famous and you have to deal with so much background and foreground noise. Over the next couple of months, I started to get distracted. The plans I had couldn’t be achievable anymore. I had started to fail (and I’m really scared of failure), so I just ran away and ghosted. Ghosted an idea and a goal I had set out to achieve. Forgetting that people were dependent on those things I had started to implement, Adekunle became unserious.

The Realization

I didn’t “really” and fully understand what a fanbase was until I came out of the house the second time. Backstory: a couple of people who once loved me but felt betrayed when I didn’t do what they asked of me made it clear to me that “my fans will leave me.” They said I would fade away, the attention would fizzle out, and I wouldn’t matter anymore. People would move on, when a new season starts, I’ll be left to hang and dry. They were hurting, and they wanted me to hurt, too. Thank God say man no be God. Hurt I was, but unfortunately, they didn’t know one thing about me.

I take failed experiences as a lesson, and I make sure I learn from them for when the opportunity presents itself again, I will be prepared.

So, I started to learn. I thought to myself, how would you build this community if you weren’t famous? My answer was easy. Reach out to everyone. But that would be easier if Islanders weren’t thousands, right? So, what do we do? I can’t be in groups. I had been warned severely, and notifications gave me anxiety. So, what can all my experience provide for me? Just before I left the bank, my KPI had changed to email marketing for the bank. So this could work, “I thought.” I can get everyone on a mailing list and reach out to everyone periodically. A solution seemed at hand. What was next? What to say when you reach out - just keep them updated. Easy right? Little did I know.

There’s freedom of speech, but you’ll get dragged afterward.

Everything I said mattered. Everybody wanted to know. Screenshots will be made, notifications will be on alert. What was he going to say or do next? Wanna be bloggers were ready for me. I learned the hard way.

I don’t like controversy. I believe you can get people to talk about you in more positive ways. But the negative attention and press? It’s never been me. If you know me, you’ll know I’m very opinionated, and I think unorthodox. So, my approach to things sometimes shocks people and invokes, well, not quite the reaction you’d expect. So, I started to speak less until I couldn’t speak anymore. What seemed like Adekunle wasn’t serious on the outside was more of “what are they going to say now when I talk”, on the inside. I became too conscious. The fanbase, the people I want to interact with, and the people who want to be updated with me can no longer get a hold of me. Months of silence go by and everyone just moves on. Right? - nope, that’s not the case with Islanders. They will wait. They will be around, albeit silent but they are waiting for when next I come up for air; and even if it’s for a little more, we all get to enjoy those moments.

Bobrisky once said,

This is the year I realized that Bobrisky was right. It started with the hate reducing, the love increasing, and seeing it happen to new people all over again, the dragging finally made sense. What was once a moment of torture for me became a moment of fleeting entertainment. The year is 2024, and Adekunle found out that dragging doesn’t hurt. Here’s how I look at it now: they drag because they’re bored, they drag because they don’t have anything better to do, or they drag because they secretly want to be in your shoes, I get that people drag when they’re triggered but when you don’t trigger, what’s now their excuse? Honestly, I think they drag because they admire/love you (but they might be wrestling with the idea) - secret fans. Like if they drag this now, what exactly will be their excuse? You see, point proven!

The point is, that people who drag you today, can love you tomorrow and everything most times, boils down to passion. Since the day I clocked this, I stopped being afraid of being online anymore. It’s just maturity and brand building that doesn’t make me reply to trolls anymore and lowkey, e dey pain me! LOOL.

Change

2022 and 2024 has been a long time. In the space of these 2years, I’ve grown to weigh 91kg, and I have missed out on so many experiences and moments and missed deadlines on personal goals for myself just because getting better and focusing on work became the new priority.

In The Midst of All This, Life Happens.

I come out of my hole now and then; I see that there’s a new development or things have changed. I’m curious to find out about this new change but also sad that I missed it or wasn’t a part of it. Disappearing has its advantages as well as many disadvantages, but what do I always do with the disadvantages?

I’ve always wanted to keep up with my community much more than I do. I always say the next time will be better, but it doesn’t always turn out to be so. So, I’m hopeful the next time, and the next time, and this next time. Here we are again. This time around, things will be better.

I don’t know if it’s an age thing, but where I’ve gotten to in life now, I’m no longer worried about things I can’t control, and I can’t keep making excuses for things. Opportunity will always come, and preparedness is key. I know what I want to set out to achieve now, and I hope it works, but if it doesn’t work out, I’ll have learned something, and I will try again and again and again until I figure it out. This is what I’ve learned in the many months of this year that I have been away and rather quiet on the internet. The price I had to pay.

Lesson Fee

I wanted to learn. I wanted to understand. I wanted to be better. The goal was simple: make fewer mistakes and show up more. Show up for the people who deserve it. The people I set out to help with my platform, the people who can benefit from learning from me, and the many people who want to interact with me and consume the content I put out. All of these people are integral parts of who I have become, and finding a way to be there for everyone and myself has now been added to my list of personal goals.

You all met me as a banker and saw the serious side of me. Then discovered I was creative. Found out about my clothing line and textile business, and then I unveil the political side. From there, we go into business. Shortly after I introduced you all to a writer (something that I’m pretty good at, apparently), the next thing I’m creating content, and then I appeared on TV as an actor? Next thing I’m going to film school, and then I go quiet.

I want to say something to everyone who seems to be in a phase right now where they’re trying to figure things out, and they seem to be pressured. Look, the only pressure should come from not figuring out the answer faster. But the truth of the matter is if the journey requires you to keep going, don’t stop yet. I spent all this time trying to find where I would fit in in this very chaotic and new industry. Guess what? I don’t fit in. I’ve tried, but I just don’t, and you know what? It’s not a bad thing.

What The Future Brings

Let me give you an analogy.

Let’s say there is a little kid, a talented little kid who just wants to make things in his own time but finds it hard to because there is always going to be some distraction. This little kid finally gets it together, and he makes a (for referencing sake) a kite. Now, he’s excited and ready to fly this kite. (let’s imagine that the kid represents us, and the kite is our gifts and talent). But along the way, this little kid meets obstacles and hurdles, and he trips. Losing his kite. (This is almost a moment many of us can relate to, we fall short of our goals in life, and we just feel like we have lost it all, so we stay on the floor). We somehow forget that it’s never really about how we start but what we do along the way. If we can look into the future and picture what we hope to achieve, we might just be able to find the inner strength to reach out and grab what was lost, in this case, a kite flying up, and connect back to that little kid who was excited about starting the journey. - and if the kite is lost, you have learned from your mistakes, and you are now experienced and you are now prepared to make another … kite.

In the coming days, I will be sharing what the future brings - a new phase of my life and the journey I have decided to embark on. This is a very special moment for me, as I’ve contained the excitement for too long, and I’ve been waiting patiently for this day - when dreams become reality. I want to say thank you to every single one of you, and everyone out there who kept their love for Adekunle alive, even during all the months of having nothing to “brag” about, it’s that love that served as my major driving force to keep going. As we go into the new month and approach a new year, Adekunle turned The Barbecue Man, turned BadBoyDeks steps fully into his role as a DIRECTOR and FILMMAKER.

The future is yet unpredictable, but I’m prepared for what may come, and if this new year is a new year of fortune and grace and many successes, I will be a part of it. And as many people as I can help along the way, I’ll make sure we go on the journey together.

To new experiences, hopeful adventures, mistakes to be made, and lessons to be, but also to rewards that will be granted and the good fortune that will be shared. This is a start to something new, and Matthew 19:26.

Yours truly,

Deks.

How’s it going. How are you doing and i truly hope, this meets you well; regardless of the harsh realities our individual countries are putting us through.

I know it’s been a while, and I thought to break the silence by reaching out.

Lately, everything on the outside doesn’t seem to matter anymore and I’ve got time, immersed experiences, perspective change and new opportunities to thank for that. I’m now focusing all my energy on the things that are happening internally; how I feel, how I react, how I think, how I process things and how I interact with others.

I’m turning 30 in a couple of days and there’s a wave of emotions washing over me - first time I’m actually looking forward to my birthday in a very long time. I don’t have the right words to describe how I’m feeling. Maybe, It's a bittersweet moment, laced with both nostalgia and excitement. The thing is, I don’t like change. There is this comfort that things staying the same way always brought. I always feared growing up - hence my playful side. LOL. That’s one thing I’ve always struggled with. So, the fact that I will no longer be twenty something and I’m finally turning 30 (I won’t be able to hide the white strands of hair anymore) feels a bit like a reset and I can’t help but come to accept the fact that everything changes from this point. Definitely good change. But if anything, it’s that I’m not getting any younger. 

Looking back at my twenties, there’s a lot to unpack. Come with me, as we journey through my last decade, my memory lane.

In 2014

- I turned 20, and conceptualised AdireNation. At the time, I imagined a world where a piece of Nigeria; a historical element would be globally acceptable and put Nigeria on a map. Adire, something African, something Nigerian. Yes, that was it. But I didn’t know how to go about it. So, I started my research, an an androgynous fashion brand and textile company was born. Adire means tie & dye by the way. “adi” means to tie while “re” means to dye/deep in, in Yoruba language.

2015

- I travelled to the North for NYSC (National Youth Service Corp). I got posted to Borno State, but I camped in Katsina State (due to insecurity), and this was my very first encounter with tie & dye. The chemicals, the colours, the mixing, the dying techniques and the god-awful smell, yes, I had found it. Yes, I had found my passion and I was in love with it. I left NYSC camp 3 weeks later and registered AdireNation as a business in December of 2015. This is where it all began. 

2016

- I started to build a structure for the business. With little or no experience, I was determined to make something out of it. This was my scariest and most brilliant creative phase. I was always designing and coming up with something new. I created my very first designs in October of 2016. I shared my idea with a couple of friends, asked them to pay for the first designs, and begged them to model for me. It was just t-shirts at the time. Called it “The Independence Day Collection”.

2017

- people started to notice AdireNation. I met a couple of people, friends, bloggers, photographers, fashion designers and it was a warm entry point into this new industry. The fashion industry. I was being fueled by passion and that led me to picking up additional knowledge. Learning how to sew. At this point, I was ready to expand and my focus had now shifted to making ready to wear women’s clothes. (yes, i know how to sew and make dresses).

2018

- I expanded my knowledge and reach. I joined a community of African business owners, I learned digital marketing, I started my first digital marketing business. I was my first client ofcourse but then I started to offer help (for free) to other small business owners who were struggling with their business. I even used to build websites for people. With this additional knowledge and resources, AdireNation started to grow, i started making custom orders for other businesses too, fashion designers. Sending DMs to order wasn’t working anymore, so I built AdireNation’s website and taking orders just became hassle free. I attended various fashion souks and I made my first million from my business by the end of the year. Somehow, this was also a very frustrating year for me. 5 years after the world just hadn’t adjusted to Adire, and it just seemed like I dreamt too early. So I decided to pivot. Little did I know. 

2019

- the year Adire became mainstream. But it was too late for me. I had already cut off my Afro, traded all my Adire outfits for suits and corporate wears. I was now working in a bank - as a digital marketing manager. This is the funny thing about life, all the experiences I had gathered managing a small business from scratch was the core strength in fulfilling my tasks in the financial sector. It was a powerful and beautiful time. Life was getting pretty comfortable and this was also when I started to pay attention and getting interested in Nigerian politics.

2020

- but good things come to an end. The pandemic happened and it was lockdown. I wasn’t working anymore, everyone was home, I couldn’t watch series all day, what next? Politics. So, I founded Leaders of Tomorrow. An online political platform that aimed at bridging the gap between the government and the people. I was so excited, invested and ready to start talking politics and letting people know they need to get involved. This was also the year I became, The ElderStatesman. 

2021

- Politics wasn’t paying unless you joined a party, and i wasn’t ready. So, I pivoted again. I got a new job. Financial industry still, but … New role. New responsibilities. New experience. Different sector, but bank still, more hands-on and practical, and boy did I learn a lot. 

2022

- Again, good things come to an end. I pivoted again and found myself in the music industry this time, you know this story already.

Driven by ambition and always goal oriented, sometimes focused on different goals per time, I want to say I always worked towards something and I never really allowed myself live. 

On the road to self discovery, I attempted something. I did the boldest thing ever. I applied for Big Brother Naija, I got selected and introduced the world to Adekunle. (What a time this was. Feels just like yesterday, but it’s 2years already.)

At this point, you’re all caught up. You pretty much know the rest of the story. The good, the bad, everything.

2023

- Biggie called, I answered and introduced the world to Bad Boy Deks. I took control of my story, narrative and changed it. An amazing time was had. 

2024

- The year everything changes. This year, in particular has been a year of self-discovery and transformation (that’s kinda why I haven’t really been active online). It’s been a year of taking back control- of my life, of learning and growing; at an accelerated pace, and of rediscovering, the true essence of who I am. You see, there comes a time when everything everyone says about you doesn’t matter anymore and what takes precedence, is what you start to say about yourself. I stopped running. I started accepting my most recent experiences and coming to terms with my new life. This is who I am now. It has opened doors to new opportunities, fostered meaningful relationships, and reignited old friendships. I have found the courage to explore my talents, to step out of my comfort zone, and to embrace the authentic me without fear or judgment. I’ve come to realize that at the end of the day, what works for me should be the top priority. This year has also been the year I have felt the most free and happy. I have learned to appreciate the simple pleasures in life, to savour every moment, and to embrace the beauty of imperfection. I have found solace in new experiences, in the company of loved ones, and in the pursuit of knowledge. I also changed my lifestyle and habits, so I guess that’s a plus too. 

People have come to love me for me, and that’s the most important thing. Staying true to that fact, and allowing people get to know, and experience me for who I am. Not who fame has turned me into.

So, as I clock 30 in a few days, I hope that all the lessons and experiences I’ve gathered in my 20s become very pivotal as I embark upon a new journey and navigate a new space; a new found confidence.

I am grateful for all the love, support, and encouragement I have received along the way. Your presence in my life has made a profound impact, and I am forever grateful for your friendship, counsel, protection, support and kindness.

Here's to a new chapter, filled with endless possibilities & boundless joy, to another decade of growth, intentionality and a lifetime of potential. To new things to come, and the resilience to welcome new opportunities, experiences and ideas with open arms. To be able to love freely, forgive easily and live life earnestly. To 30 & Grateful 🥂

With sincere love and gratitude,

Adekunle. 

In 24 hours; everything changes. 

This Is Not An Excuse officially goes live, and here’s what I want you to know. First of all, I’M NERVOUS AS HELL !!!!!!!!!!!! I can’t describe how I am feeling and what will happen after the book becomes public. I’m sure some of you will say I am worried about the wrong things and I should focus on the love, the positive energy, and the fact that the book will be out.. and you know what? That’s exactly what I will do. 

That being said,

Are you ready to dive into a world of love, connection, and empowerment?

Then allow me to officially introduce "This Is Not An Excuse," to you.  A poetry collection that celebrates the beauty and complexity of human relationships. This isn't just about heartbreak; it's a journey through the full spectrum of love – from the exhilarating highs to the tender moments that shape us. "This Is Not An Excuse" isn't your typical poetry collection.

At the time when I started writing this book, I had a lot of unfiltered emotions and it birthed this collection of raw and relatable poems. The words in the book speak to the before, the during & aftermath of a relationship; not necessarily intimate, with unflinching honesty. It delves into the good, and the bad, and I think my favourite aspect of the book is the journey it takes you on. If you read and pay close attention to it, you will be able to see a transcendence of the author’s (MEEEEE) viewpoint. 

But this journey doesn't end there.

"This Is Not An Excuse" is a double entendre. It's a powerful call to action that will ignite your inner fire and motivate you to overcome challenges and chase your dreams. It is not a book about exes, and it is a book that doesn’t tolerate excuses - now read the title again, get it? Wink.

Within these pages, you'll find:

• Honest reflections: Explore the complexities of love and loss through relatable poems that capture the bittersweet emotions of a relationship.

• Unflinching truths: No sugarcoating here. These poems delve into the good, the bad, and everything in between, helping you process your emotions and gain closure.

• Empowering motivation: Break free from self-doubt and excuses.

"This Is Not An Excuse" will inspire you to rewrite your narrative and chase your goals with unwavering determination. Whether you're navigating the aftermath of a breakup, yearning for true love, lust, or pure desire, seeking self-discovery, or simply needing a motivational boost, "This Is Not An Excuse" is the poetry collection for you.

I’m giving away too much, I’ll let you judge the book yourself. 

The pre-order link is now live, and I want you to be part of the first people to own a copy. By pre-ordering today you get to have access to the book before anyone else. PRE-ORDER THE BOOK HERE

Thank you guys for sticking with me all these years, this has been an exciting journey, and this is a personal feat that means so much more to me than you can ever imagine. I might not get to say this enough, but I love you guys.

Love,

Adekunle Olopade, The Author

Hi guys,

Pardon my improper grammar, but, “shame is catching me”. I know I’ve been a bad boy for not checking in, and keeping up with you guys. I can explain. A lot has been going on, I’ve been writing scripts, directing videos, and just getting better at being a filmmaker and I can’t wait for you all to see them. I will tell you all about it in subsequent emails, but for now, let’s talk about the book. 

Ladies & Gentlemen, I’m thrilled to officially announce that #ThisIsNotAnExcuse is launching this July, yes it’s still happening and I hope you’re as excited as I am because, well - IT’S FINALLY HERE! So you get a copy, she gets a copy, he gets a copy, everyone gets a copy!!!

What you need to know about the book:

• It’s a collection of relatable short poetry

• I started writing the book in 2020.

• I was inspired by the experiences of others and observing events and actions around me.

• I probably revised the book more times than I can remember because I just kept getting inspired.

• Yes, I took out a lot of personal things because I don’t want wahala (poems being misinterpreted).

• I AM NOT SUBBING ANYONE WITH/THROUGH MY BOOK. edakun!

• It’s going to be an ebook; this means it’ll be available to everyone everywhere, regardless of the part of the world you’re in. Islanders are worldwide (God I’m blessed).

• In the coming days after the launch, more variations of #ThisIsNotAnExcuse will be made available. Such as a physical copy, an audiobook, novelties and souvenirs, and much more. So, stay tuned. 

A bit of Nostalgia: 

Do you guys remember that feeling; the butterflies, the euphoria, the satisfaction - the first time you heard about this project? The excitement, the anticipation, the buzz ... it was electric! At the time when I announced (two years ago), I wasn’t sure of what the reception would be. If anything, I’m more than grateful that I did not release the book then because it needed more work. It wasn't just about getting it out there, it was about getting it right. Something I have now learned over the past couple of years and adopted as my approach to living. There's a quote that says,

And trust me, every word, every page, every detail in this book has been meticulously crafted to deliver the best possible experience for you. Now, I'm here to tell you that the work’s done and it’s time to enjoy what all that fuss was about. 

I’ve got something interesting for you:

Kinda like even better news. The book launch doesn't just mean a brand new book from Deks to you, it also means a chance for you to earn! That's right! I'm thrilled to announce a Sales Affiliate Partnership for #ThisIsNotAnExcuse.

What does this mean? - as an affiliate, you get to earn a percentage on every sale that comes in through your referral. If you’re a student, a micro-influencer, or just someone with a community of people; then you might want to get in on this. I’ve never believed in growing without helping others, and this is just my way of giving back and saying thank you. I’d like to think of it as everyone wins. So, click here to register and get more information, if you are interested and want to earn a generous commission on every sale you generate while we are talking about it #ThisIsNotAnExcuse. By the way, Limited spots are available! So hurry, register, and be one of the first to join our affiliate program.

But, that’s not all!

There’s one more thing. Maybe even the juiciest part. 

Exclusivity!

Wouldn't you love to get your hands on the book before everyone else? That’s right. There’s going to be an Exclusive List. Think of it like a waitlist, where you get to be the first in the know. Get updates and information about the book launch before everyone else. Sneak peeks, book teasers, and many more. I’m getting goosebumps already. Let me pause for a bit before I forget. Everyone on the waitlist also gets a discount code. So, click here to join the list and unlock all the bonus content. 

This is just the beginning of an incredible journey, and I can't wait to start it with all of you.

Stay tuned for more exciting updates coming your way (actually, turn on post notifications across all my socials this week - it’s about to go down) and I promise to do better with my social media and not ghost as much anymore. There’s so much we need to talk about. It’s been a while since I’ve been absent from social media and many things have been happening behind the scenes. Let’s make a date and talk about them soon. I’ll let you decide when. Just click here. 

I’m about to stop writing, so I want to say something. As I start this new phase in my life, I would like to reintroduce myself to you, again, and hopefully, as we begin this next part of our journey you will stay with me to enjoy everything that happens along the way.

yours truly, 

Previous 9-5er, Current Bad Boy, Contrarian, Islander’s Very Own, Brightest Bulb, and sometimes referred to as Jack of all trades, 

now

Adekunle Olopade, The Author.

It's finally here! I'm so excited (and a little nervous) to share my very first short film with you. Fresh out of the Film Academy, this project feels like a milestone – a stepping stone on the path to bigger and better things.

Debuts are supposed to be a grand showcase, right? But the truth is, I spent a long time feeling conflicted about this film. Looking back, I know with more time, I could have done so much more. There were scenes I wished I could reshoot, edits I craved the chance to refine. It became this internal battle: should I even share something I'm not 100% happy with?

Then, something shifted. I finally gathered the courage to show it to a few friends and mentors. The feedback I received wasn't a critique, but a wave of encouragement. They saw the potential, the spark of something special, and that made all the difference.

The learning process, the dedication from the facilitators, the energy invested, and the emotional connection to the production process? Nah, it was an immersive experience and i can’t wait for what the future holds.

Here's the thing: This film isn't perfect. It's a novice effort, a snapshot of where I am right now. But it's also a testament to the power of starting, of just going for it. Sometimes, the pressure of perfection can be paralyzing. We get caught up in the "what ifs" and never hit that "record" button.

This is your reminder, my fellow creators, that progress is more important than perfection. Don't let the fear of making something "not good enough" hold you back. Get out there, create, learn, and grow. The journey is just as important as the destination, and every single project, finished or not, is a step towards mastering your craft.

So, here's my debut film, a little rough around the edges, but poured with passion. it drops today at 7 PM on Youtube.

THE CALL - SHORT FILM (click the link or image to take you straight to YouTube).

I hope it inspires you to start that business, pick up your camera, shoot your shot, write your script, apply for that job or visa application, or record your first song. Whatever it is, just go for it! Let's create together; individually and collectively, learn from each other, and celebrate the messy, beautiful journey towards becoming the filmmakers we dream to be, or whatever passion it is we are striving to achieve.

Notwithstanding, stay tuned for more (hopefully more polished!) projects to come!

P.S. If you have any feedback, BE KIND ooooo!! and don't hesitate to share! I'm always learning and growing.

Until next time; always badding and forever evolving,

Director K.

I feel like I’ve been underground for too long. I haven’t come up for air in a minute and it’s affected my outlook on life. From January till this period, I’ve spent an unhealthy amount of time on work, personal development, and growth. So much so that without a shadow of a doubt, anything that seemed to disrupt my energy or have the inclining of a downward mindset or attitude, I am very quick to shut it out of my life. My goodness, I have grown. What ultimately happened was, that I spent so much time focusing on myself, getting busy, and putting plans in place I failed to realize all the other things in my life it was affecting.

First of all, I have gotten so much better at being quiet. I don’t see the need to offer an explanation anymore. Especially in a situation that was grossly misconstrued and anything or anyone that simply came from a place of not understanding, I just shut the person out. It took me getting to the point of coming up for air to realize “Oh shit”, you actually can’t do that. 

-explanation-

Adekunle Gold’s song, The Life I Chose was on repeat for a long time and it ultimately drummed in a reality check. You can’t keep doing things the way that’s comfortable for you, because, like it or not, your life has changed and this is the life you chose. While I also understand that I don’t need to get sucked into it, a fine and healthy balance of everything is key.

I feel bad for a lot of things that have happened, quite frankly, and while I don’t intend to dwell on the past, I believe in just focusing on doing things better now. My interaction with the Islanders essentially brought this to light. A group of people who love me unconditionally; who just want to be updated and keep up with me have (to an extent) suffered (being kept in the dark) from me being underground. It’s hard to explain where my head is at right now, but I can say that I realize that being private and isolated doesn’t work with being a public figure with a dedicated fanbase and this is something I have to personally work on. To the people who require certain things from me, I also have to be willing to meet them in the middle.

I’m too focused on the future and want things to be near perfect. My greatest weakness, as it is my strength, is my ability to create and adapt. No situation can be too uncomfortable for me, I will find a way around it and whenever I feel stuck about a situation, I always create a solution to take me out of this. This kind of limits me from execution, because if you know anything about creating, it’s a vortex that just keeps swallowing. 

I can’t tell you the amount of ideas I have and the things that are in the pipeline to be implemented, but at the same time, I can’t do everything at once, and everything I want to do. I’m not used to working with people and I believe everything will happen at its appointed time. All of these things are things I’ve come to realize can be a bit of a deterrent and coming out of my comfort zone and being more prudent will be the way to go.

Take this newsletter for example, this was something I was excited about 2years ago and it was a way for me to keep up with you guys. But because of a situation that eventually marred the newsletter experience for me, I didn’t want a repeat of it and I just stayed away. I created an alternative solution and avenue to communicate - Snapchat and the newsletter suffered for it.

Well, I’m done being underground. My book is finished (finally finally), and I’ve started an extended film course for a few weeks to start to build the foundation for the rest of my life. I posted it on X. You can check it out here

While I understand that sometimes, it’s always a case of just doing things, you never know what might click, I’ve always believed in planning properly and then executing. I’ve never really believed in luck personally, but time has also made me realize that preparations can always meet opportunity and it’s always good to be ready. So I’ve just been preparing. I might be slow, slower than most. My ways may not even seem clear to understand. I’ve seen comments where people seem frustrated with me because I simply ‘don’t care or do what others are doing’ but the truth is, no one wants me to succeed more than I want me to succeed and I can only ask that you forgive my slowness, trust the process and believe in God’s time.

In the meantime, I debuted in Nollywood, that’s if you don’t already know. You can catch up, and watch it here

The next phase I’m about to enter is going to be different and new to me. Exciting and daring but also scary. I wanted you guys to be the first to know and I guess wish me luck, oh by the way, when I’m introducing myself now, it’s, my name is Adekunle, a media personality, a filmmaker, and occasionally, I write poetry for hopeless romantics.

While I want to say until next time, don’t be a stranger.

Deks. 

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As we embrace the dry air, soon-to-be merry atmosphere, and the promise of a new month, I find myself reflecting and immersing in the incredible journey we've shared this year - one phone call really can change everything (keep your phone lines open). It's been a whirlwind of emotions, from challenges to successes, to new territories to growth, to having an opportunity to do it all over again. I couldn't be more grateful for each one of you who has been a part of my journey. I read all your messages (from time to time) and I’m always left in awe.

In the spirit of transparency, I wanted to take a moment to share some personal thoughts with you. Over the past few months, I've been actively immersed in the digital realm, always online and sharing my life and reality with you all. I did promise an exhilarating November (and I’m pretty sure I delivered on that), but like any journey, it's essential to pause, reassess, and recalibrate - so we don’t get lost along the way.

The intersection between social media and real life can be a fascinating yet challenging space. Recently, I've felt the need to take a step back, be more deliberate with my approach, and align my brand with intentions that truly resonate with me.

Nonetheless, this isn't a step back; it's a step forward in the direction of authenticity, drive, and purpose.

In this process and my new reality, I've come to recognize that, inevitably, there will always be a section of the internet that may not be as kind as we'd hope. They’ll always see something wrong and that’s just who they are. However, in the face of negativity, we find strength and resilience. It becomes an opportunity for introspection and a reminder to stay true to ourselves. At the end of the day, everyone can’t like you, and even the strong ones crack when they read false or deliberate malicious things being said about them. But thankfully, words and opinions (from people who don’t matter) no longer affect me - thanks to the block button. 😏

While it may not be an easy thing to ask, I implore you all to please look the other way. As a fanbase, our first journey involved constantly defending and I’d like to believe that it was an opportunity to learn from. This time around, we are different from the rest. We will be doing ourselves a disservice if we don’t hold ourselves to that standard. Let those who choose to insult be, while we ignore and pay them no attention because, when all is said and done, they aren’t our focus. This should also be an opportunity for us not to poke holes or throw the first punch. In all of this, Islanders should never be found wanting.

As we enter this new month, let's celebrate the successes we've achieved so far - the milestones, the growth, and the unwavering support we have shared and gotten from each other. The new friends and families we have made. The community we have built and the strength we have amassed in our numbers. Your encouragement fuels my determination to keep pushing boundaries and achieving even greater heights.

Looking ahead, there are numerous successes on the horizon, and I am nothing but thrilled to share them with you. Together, we'll continue this beautiful journey, balancing the demands of social media with the authenticity of living life. It's about finding that sweet spot where I can give you what you want while staying true to who I am. It’s not easy, and sometimes one can drown in the noise.

Thank you for being a part of this incredible community. Your positivity, enthusiasm, and unwavering support, mean the world to me. I can’t wait to celebrate your victories and successes this month with you. You all deserve to be celebrated. And on that note, let's make this new and final month in 2023 a chapter of renewed energy, self-discovery, shared victories, and rising above all.

I wish you all an inspiring and fulfilling December. 

Always badding,

Deks 🤙🏾

Hello fans, supporters and Islanders.

It’s only been 7 days in the big brother all-star house, but the drama is giving 7 weeks!

Whooosh!!! (Let me catch my breath)

Adekunle kicked off the week with a bang, winning the HOH Challenge with his strategic skills and determination.

As a result, he claimed the prestigious Head of House title, complete with a private luxurious suite and special privileges.

He also formed a strong alliance with his selected BFFs; Seyi, Cross, Frodd, and Soma.

During their diary sessions, it was clear that the housemates all have a level of respect for Adekunle as a fellow housemate, as their HOH, as a team player and as a man.

It was beautiful to watch.

❤️ A week of wins for Bad boy Deks.

When it came to the Debate presentation, Adekunle showed eloquence and charisma, leading to his team’s success.

Their ability to persuade and articulate ideas was a great plus and earned them their win.

Though initially shaky, Adekunle’s team coordination helped the housemates secure a victory in their weekly wager task.

The housemates’ creative and out-of-the-box thinking led to an outstanding (though long) performance that won them essential supplies and filled the house with good cheer.

❤️ Pool/Saturday night parties

It wasn't all just strategy, tasks and challenges! When the weekend rolled around, Adekunle knew how to let loose and have a blast. He was the life of the party.

From the Thursday pool BBQ to the Saturday night party, Deks brought an infectious energy and charm. Clearly the ladies’ man having a great time while being unattached, The energy was electric!

We’re really loving the bad boy deks era.

Cheers to more growth, self-awareness and feeling freeee.

❤️ Looking Forward to Week 2

Overall, this week has been a rollercoaster of emotions, Adekunle has proven to be a formidable player both in mental and social aspects, making him a strong contender for the prize money.

Will he continue his winning streak, or will new challenges arise? Only time will tell, but we'll be here to cover every thrilling moment.

We can't wait to see what more he has in store for us as the game progresses. Badboydeks for a reason.

❤️ Islanders

Islanders have been doing an amazing job, online and offline. You guys are the real MVPs. Now the game has started STARTED.

Let’s continue to pool in all our effort and support for Adekunle, hopefully he wins head of house again (hehehe) but if not, we must be at high alert, ready to vote our boy into the last day.

Thank you for your continued support,

Peace, love and Chicken Grease

#TeamAdekunleOlopade

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I know, I know. This isn't how any of us planned to spend the next two months. But we are here now, and it's too late to turn back. Lol.

I know some of you kinda figured it out, but regardless, I want to apologize to you guys for not being able to tell you ahead, so you can make plans and all.

We kind of aren't supposed to tell anyone, comes with the deal. Lol.

But still, we are here now.

I'm very aware that a lot of mixed feelings and reactions might be happening now, especially, from those who want to protect me and want me to be in a better and safe space.

I want to say first that, I love you so much. Thank you for caring and looking out for me, HOWEVER, I need to add that, I'm in a very healthy place right now and I’m doing great. I mean, look at me on your screens na, hehe.

I won't lie, the year has been a rollercoaster of emotions, but we don land! Deks don show!

I've learned so much, I've been able to deal, heal, cope and manage everything; all thanks to your love guys.

Honestly, your love brought me here. Brought me this far, and literally, put me on the ALL STARS stage.

What an honour!

The show has started and I plan to give it my all. BadBoyDeks style.

Yup, that's who I am now, or better still who I'm going to be for the next 72 days.

This time around, I'm claiming it and speaking it into existence.

It's only good vibes, optimism, smiles, having the time of my life and ofcourse, being a bad boy wink

All that pessimism shit is out the bloody window.

We did it before, and we sure as hell can do it again.

But this time around, it’s going to be so different i promise you.

With little effort and cruising all through. Im coming in guns blazing!

I mean, Islanders deserve to catch a break, right?

So let’s kick back, enjoy the ride and be the talk of the whole town, or maybe Africa even.

Your prayers, support, dedication, effort and LOVE will keep me going.

Islanders are different, we own this and it's time to show them how it's done.

So, guys let's GO!.

Till the last day.

Till day 72.

Till the lights go off.

All the way to Top 2, and Deks doesn't intend to be number 2.

This is going to be my last official communique to you guys until #BadBoyDeks is announced the winner.

Are you ready?? Are you guys feeling the energy already?

Yes? Me too. Loving it!

I know it's not going to be easy. Na stars full this place with me, but we gat this. I know we do. I'm not worried, and you guys shouldn’t be either.

There's a lot already planned and lined up with a formidable team and we need everyone to come through.

Actually, na me, I need you guys. I need you guys to come through for your boy.

I've said enough, I've got to go now.

Thank you guys so much again, I can’t wait to celebrate with you all.

Someone else will start sending you newsletters from now. They have my blessings. Please be nice.

Speak to you guys in 10 weeks.

Yours barbecuing…. Nah scratch that.

Your baddest, forever and always

Adekunle, aka, BadBoyDeks.

Love you guys!

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I am thrilled to bring you exciting news about the launch of my solo podcast. One of my projects post-show. Allow me to introduce to you “At The End Of The Day”. A podcast where I share my daily life experiences with you (as the name implies), at the end of the day. Cheeky right? LOL.

In this inaugural episode, titled "A Trip Down Memory Lane," the plan is to take you on an intimate and nostalgic journey through my life before fame, offering a unique perspective on my background, experiences, and personal growth.

In a world where fame and success often overshadow the individual behind the achievements, I chose to share my story (MY WAY), reminding us of the profound impact our past can have on shaping our present and future. With authenticity and vulnerability, I reflect on various milestones and pivotal moments that have shaped me into the remarkable person I am today. (I have a big smile on my face here 🫣)

The episode begins with me recounting my childhood, giving you a glimpse into the formative years that laid the foundation for my character and aspirations. From playful escapades to early ambitions, you will discover the seeds of creativity and resilience that propelled me forward, and sometimes, held me back. As we go deeper, you will discover me delving into my interactions with others while growing up. These encounters with friends, mentors, colleagues, bosses, acquaintances, loved ones, and strangers helped shape my worldview and ignited my passion for connection and empathy. I truly don’t believe others need to go through the same negative experience one has gone through, if we have the wisdom or resources to help prevent such an experience. You can expect heartfelt anecdotes that demonstrate the power of relationships in shaping one's identity.

Transitioning into adulthood, I share takes on a riveting exploration of my entrepreneurial journey. Through the highs and lows of starting a business, I share valuable insights and pivotal lessons learned. You'll gain an intimate understanding of the dedication, tenacity, and strategic thinking required to turn dreams into reality. From my view anyway. One of the defining moments in my life comes with the story of how I made my first million. This pivotal event not only marked a significant financial milestone but also catalyzed self-discovery. As we go further, a trip down memory lane will highlight succinctly how I transitioned into the corporate world, revealing my first job experience and how I switched from a businessman to a corporate man when my business had started to turnover. By delving into this chapter, I invite you to reflect on the pursuit of success and its impact on personal growth.

Finally, as an empath (still struggling with this), I bring it all together by sharing my current outlook on life. Drawing on my past experiences and personal growth, I shed light on the power of empathy, understanding, and connection in navigating the complexities of the human experience. It is something.

With "A Trip Down Memory Lane," I implore you to reflect on your journeys and discover the threads that connect us and it all. Prepare to be inspired, enlightened, and moved as you embark on this remarkable storytelling experience.

Don't miss out on this captivating episode of my podcast!

Tune in to At The End Of The Day and join us as we celebrate the unveiling of this remarkable new chapter in my creative journey.

Stay tuned for more engaging episodes and enriching conversations to come.

Warm regards,

Deks of The Islanders.

On this day last year, I had just sent in my audition video for wanting to be a big brother housemate. Rather late to the process if I must add (it was the final day for submission).

Uncertain about my chances of getting in but not having anything left to lose, I gave it a shot.

One year later, I’m here telling this story to you guys. My support system and new fanmily. If anyone had told me this was what my life would be like in a year’s time, I would have doubted. But now, I only wonder what the next 365 days will look like, and the many more years to come.

It may now seem as though May 30th is now a monumental day in my life.

On this journey of my new experience, I’ve learned a lot of things. One of which was a more sudden realisation, you have to focus your energy where it will be exerted and rewarded positively.

In the last year, whether I do, or I don’t do - there will be naysayers waiting for me. From people whom I don’t even know. Having such strong opinions and convictions towards me. It used to bother me at some point, but if I don’t learn anything on this ride, I’ve wasted the experience.

It’s a good thing if people talk about you. It must mean that you’re doing something right. So now I welcome all the talks. Be it lies, false narratives, insults whatever it is. As I see it, I’m constantly on their mind and that gives me satisfaction.

But I don’t focus on it, because just as there are insults, there are also praises, prayers, well wishes, and kind words and I would rather focus on that.

So when strangers have negative things to say about you, if it isn’t directly affecting your work, what you have planned, or your daily affairs, my feedback will be to keep it moving.

May 2023 has been a month of reflection and introspection for me. I don’t think I’m done yet, but I like where I am currently and where I’m headed. 

With a positive mindset and attracting good vibes only, I can only say, the only way from here, is up!

Looking forward to sharing more happy moments with you and I can’t wait to hear all about the good news you have to share with me.

Until next time,

Yours barbecuing,

Deks.