(449 words, 2 minutes read time.)

✦ A Past Meditation ✦
Written in the past and newly restored.

(For prayer and reflection.)

It struck me one day:

I need this cross.

Not because suffering is good in itself,

but because the Lord is using it to draw me more deeply into Himself.

Take away this cross,

and I become a capsized vessel.

My weakness continually reminds me

that I cannot live the Christian life by my own strength.

I need His grace.

Whenever I rely upon myself,

I quickly discover my limitations.

How easily self enters in.

How little lasting fruit I can bear apart from Him.

But when I remain dependent upon the Lord,

He becomes my strength.

His love,

His wisdom,

His grace

begin to accomplish what I never could.

So my prayer becomes:

Lord,

do not allow me to waste this cross.

Remind me of its purpose.

Give me the strength to carry it faithfully,

and let it accomplish within me

all that You desire.

I surrender myself to You.

Live Your life through me.

I do not wish to give souls merely myself.

What they truly need

is You.

May my life become an instrument in Your hands,

so that Your love,

rather than my own strength,

may touch the hearts You entrust to me.

Long before I existed,

You lovingly willed me into being.

You created me with a unique vocation

and a unique way of reflecting Your love.

My prayer is simply this:

that Your Presence within me

may become the fire that purifies,

the love that transforms,

and the light that quietly leads others to You.

Apart from You,

I can do nothing.

But with You,

even my weakness can become a place

where Your grace shines most brightly.

May I never rely upon myself,

but always upon You.

And may every soul who encounters my life

come away loving You more than before.

Perhaps the Lord desires to speak something similar to every heart.

Each of us has crosses we would gladly lay down.

Yet in His loving providence,

He often uses those very crosses

to humble us,

purify us,

draw us closer to Himself,

and prepare us for the work He has entrusted to us.

A Moment for Reflection:

Is there a cross in your life that you continually ask God to remove?

Could He also be using it to teach you dependence, humility, surrender, or deeper trust?

Where are you still relying upon your own strength?

Ask the Lord today: “Jesus, how do You desire to work through my weakness? Make me a vessel in Your hands.”

🙏 Writing for the Lord is one of my greatest joys, and I dedicate much of my time and energy to this ministry. If these reflections have encouraged your faith, I would be deeply grateful for your support. As a disabled consecrated woman, your paid subscription helps provide for my daily needs while enabling me to continue this writing ministry and share the beauty of the Catholic faith. Thank you for your kindness and generosity. God bless you. 🙏

Used With Permission: www.AdoreHim.com

(C) 2018-26 Lindsey Grace Mariella

(675 words, 4 minutes read time.)

✦ A Past Meditation ✦
Written in the past and newly restored.

Recently, after a difficult trial had ended, I found myself reflecting on my struggle to surrender to God’s will.

Just a few days before, while speaking with a dear friend about my discernment, she gently reminded me that the Lord was inviting me to surrender more completely to Him. Soon afterward, I remembered the Surrender Novena, which several friends had recommended.

What providential timing.

I began praying it in the midst of my turmoil, and the Lord used it to deepen something I had known for years.

After the trial had passed, I shared this reflection with my friend:

“These little crucifixions scattered throughout each day are not obstacles. They are invitations. They are opportunities to offer ourselves in love and to be drawn into a deeper union with Christ. Do not let them pass by. Use them. Climb this ladder.”

That realization has remained with me.

The crosses that come to us each day are not meaningless interruptions.

They are invitations.

Opportunities to become more like Christ.

While praying, I was also deeply moved by a meditation from Venerable Madeleine Delbrêl. She reflects that we often expect holiness to come through one great act of sacrifice. Instead, God usually sanctifies us through countless hidden acts of patience, surrender, and fidelity woven into ordinary life. These quiet “little passions” gradually unite us to Christ when they are embraced with love.

How often we spend our energy chasing after something extraordinary,

while the very path to Heaven lies before us.

Our ladder to Heaven is right in front of us.

How easily distractions,

misunderstandings,

and fear

keep us from recognizing the treasures hidden within our daily crosses.

We naturally seek the easier path.

How often we pray,

“Lord…

not this cross.

Send me another.”

When suffering comes,

we resist it.

We become discouraged.

We long to escape it.

Yet hidden within every cross embraced in love

is a grace we cannot yet see.

Perhaps nothing appears to be happening.

Yet as we unite our sufferings with the Cross of Christ,

He quietly empties us of self,

purifies our hearts,

and draws us into a deeper union with Himself.

This is the hidden work of grace.

We long to be united with Jesus.

We long to embrace His love.

Let us remember:

He is waiting for us at the Cross.

When we come to the Cross,

we find Him.

When we embrace the Cross,

we receive Him.

How close are we willing to come?

Do we hesitate?

Are we afraid?

Do we fail to see the treasure His Heart holds for us there?

Lord,

open the eyes of my heart

to recognize every cross in this day

as an invitation from You.

Give me the grace to embrace each suffering with love

and to offer it to the Father

through Your Sacred Heart.

Give me the heart of Mary,

that I may faithfully stand beside You,

loving You,

trusting You,

and surrendering all for love.

For You are on the Cross.

To find You,

I must come to the Cross.

There,

purify me.

Transform me.

Make my heart one with Yours.

Keep me always close to You,

and never let me be separated from You.

I am Yours.

Do with me whatever You will.

For love.

For Your love alone.

Amen.

A Moment to Reflect:

What small crosses have appeared in your life today?

Are there particular sufferings you find yourself saying, “Lord, not this cross,” about?

What might change if you began to see those moments not simply as interruptions, but as invitations to love, surrender, and deeper union with Jesus?

Ask the Lord today for the grace to recognize the hidden treasure within the Cross—and to stand there with Mary, trusting that no suffering offered in love to Christ is wasted.

Jesus, help me to embrace today’s crosses with You, for love of You.

🙏 Writing for the Lord is one of my greatest joys, and I dedicate much of my time and energy to this ministry. If these reflections have encouraged your faith, I would be deeply grateful for your support. As a disabled consecrated woman, your paid subscription helps provide for my daily needs while enabling me to continue this writing ministry and share the beauty of the Catholic faith. Thank you for your kindness and generosity. God bless you. 🙏

Used with permission www.AdoreHim.com

(C) 2018-26 Lindsey Grace Mariella

(354 words, 2-minute read time.)

✦ A Past Meditation ✦
Written in the past and newly restored.

A prayerful, imaginative meditation inspired by the Good Shepherd.

As I prayed, these words came gently to my heart:

Stay here with Me, little one.

Rest upon My Heart.

I will shepherd you,

unceasingly,

day and night,

all the days of your life.

I gently call you,

always inviting you

to come closer to My love.

Every moment

is an opportunity

to draw you more deeply

into My Heart.

Whenever you begin to wander,

or your gaze turns elsewhere,

I quietly reach out to you.

I never lose sight of you.

I suffered for you

and I remain with you

in your sufferings.

I gave My life

so that you might share in Mine.

You are precious to Me.

My gaze rests upon you with love,

always drawing you nearer.

How I long for your heart.

Your love brings Me joy.

I look forward to the day

when I will welcome you Home.

What joy there will be

as Heaven rejoices,

Our Blessed Mother embraces you,

the saints welcome you,

and you become fully

the person I created you to be.

Your true home is with Me.

Until that day,

I will continue to shepherd you,

never ceasing to guide,

strengthen,

and carry you.

I desire to draw you ever more deeply

into My love,

until your heart rests completely in Mine.

So tonight,

rest upon My Heart,

little one.

You are loved.

A Moment to Reflect:

Where is Jesus inviting you to rest upon His Heart today?

Are there places in your life where you have wandered, worried, or struggled to trust that He is still shepherding you?

Can you imagine His loving gaze resting upon you—not with disappointment, but with the desire to draw you closer?

Take a quiet moment today and simply pray:

Jesus, Good Shepherd, let my heart rest in Yours.

If this meditation brought you peace, consider sharing in the comments what helps you return your gaze to Jesus.

🙏 Writing for the Lord is one of my greatest joys, and I dedicate much of my time and energy to this ministry. If these reflections have encouraged your faith, I would be deeply grateful for your support. As a disabled consecrated woman, your paid subscription helps provide for my daily needs while enabling me to continue this writing ministry and share the beauty of the Catholic faith. Thank you for your kindness and generosity. God bless you. 🙏

Used with permission www.AdoreHim.com

(C) 2018-26 Lindsey Grace Mariella

(278 words, 1-minute read time.)

✦ A Past Meditation ✦
Written in the past and newly restored.

God is trustworthy.

We are called to place all our hope in Him and to wait patiently.

But patience is not inactive.

It is alive with hope and expectancy.

It trusts that God is working even when He seems silent.

Our confidence remains in Him.

We know He is at work, and we surrender ourselves to His perfect timing.

This is a battle we must fight each day—moment by moment—to keep our hearts faithful.

Why all the waiting?

Perhaps people or circumstances are not yet ready.

Perhaps certain hearts still need His gentle work.

But more importantly, He is exercising us in virtue so that we may grow stronger in Him.

So, while we are waiting on Him, let us also grow in faithfulness.

As St. Padre Pio famously said,

“Pray, hope, and don’t worry.”

How is our prayer?

How is our hope?

How is our trust?

I once heard Mother Angelica offer this simple encouragement:

Keep praying.
Keep working.
Respond to every inspiration.
Have complete trust.

May we persevere in faithful hope until God’s perfect time becomes today’s grace.

A Moment to Reflect:

What are you waiting on God for today?

Have you experienced a time when the Lord seemed silent, only to discover later that He was working all along? How has waiting strengthened your faith, hope, or trust in Him?

I’d love to hear your experience in the comments. May we encourage one another to keep praying, keep hoping, and keep trusting in God’s perfect timing. 

🙏 Writing for the Lord is one of my greatest joys, and I dedicate much of my time and energy to this ministry. If these reflections have encouraged your faith, I would be deeply grateful for your support. As a disabled consecrated woman, your paid subscription helps provide for my daily needs while enabling me to continue this writing ministry and share the beauty of the Catholic faith. Thank you for your kindness and generosity. God bless you. 🙏

Used with permission www.AdoreHim.com

(C) 2018-26 Lindsey Grace Mariella

(619 words, 3 minutes read time.)

✦ A Past Meditation ✦
Written in the past and newly restored.

Kneeling after Mass,

looking up at the Crucifix,

this thought quietly came to my heart:

Perhaps this illness is but a sliver of the nail in Jesus’ feet.

So small compared to His suffering,

yet an invitation

to share in His Cross

and allow Him to reign more fully in my soul.

My only response was,

“Lord,

help me to carry it.”

I also sensed how He carries this suffering with me.

How small my portion is,

and how immeasurably greater is His.

Later, I remembered moments from my childhood.

There were brief seasons when the Lord allowed my suffering to lessen.

Yet I noticed something that surprised me.

Without realizing it,

I often became less attentive to Him.

I became distracted,

more self-reliant,

and gradually forgot the closeness I had known during the harder days.

Even then, though I could not explain it,

I sensed that my suffering had somehow drawn me nearer to God.

Years passed.

As I grew older, I wandered far from the Lord for many painful years.

In His great mercy,

He brought me home.

Now I find myself in a new season,

seeking His will more deeply,

and He continues to reveal His love in unexpected ways.

At times,

my illness has felt like a great obstacle—

something standing in the way of serving Him as I had imagined.

Yet the Lord sees.

Again and again,

He has sent faithful friends to encourage me.

And He continues to challenge my own ideas about how I should live and serve.

I am a slow learner.

Thankfully,

He is infinitely patient.

Each of us has a cross entrusted to us.

Though we would rarely choose it for ourselves,

when united with Christ,

it can become the very path that leads us more deeply into His Heart.

As I prayed,

I found myself reflecting:

“Perhaps this cross is one of God’s gifts to me.

Not because suffering is good in itself,

but because He desires to use it for my good.

May I learn to embrace it,

allow it to draw me closer to Him,

and trust Him to accomplish His loving purpose through it.”

How often

what I see as a stumbling block

becomes,

in God’s hands,

a stepping stone

for spiritual growth.

Writing helps me process what the Lord is doing in my life, and I hope these reflections also help others carry their own crosses with greater hope.

I live with a debilitating, long-term case of Lyme disease (and other serious diseases) that affect many systems of my body. Much of it remains invisible to others, which can make it difficult to explain and feel loved and understood. I would be grateful for your prayers as I pray for you.

May the Lord help each of us to trust that no cross united to His is ever wasted.

A Moment to Reflect:

What cross in your life currently feels more like an obstacle than a path?

Have you ever looked back and discovered that a difficult season actually drew you closer to Jesus?

What might change if, rather than carrying your cross alone, you allowed Christ to carry it with you?

Is there something you have been asking God to remove that you could instead place in His hands today?

Take a moment before the Crucifix and pray:

Jesus, I would not have chosen this cross, but I choose You within it. Carry it with me, draw me closer to Your Heart, and let nothing I suffer in union with You be wasted.

🙏 Writing for the Lord is one of my greatest joys, and I dedicate much of my time and energy to this ministry. If these reflections have encouraged your faith, I would be deeply grateful for your support. As a disabled consecrated woman, your paid subscription helps provide for my daily needs while enabling me to continue this writing ministry and share the beauty of the Catholic faith. Thank you for your kindness and generosity. God bless you. 🙏

Used with permission www.AdoreHim.com

(C) 2018-26 Lindsey Grace Mariella

(408 words, 2 minutes read time.)

✦ A Past Meditation ✦
Written in the past and newly restored.

With an image of Jesus before Pontius Pilate.

God saw my pain.

He saw me in danger.

He saw me on the verge of giving up.

And He came after me—

to rescue me.

Jesus took my death sentence.

He broke my chains.

He opened the prison door

and set me free.

As I gazed upon Him standing before Pilate,

tears filled my eyes.

There He stood,

in gentle silence,

while they accused Him.

He did not open His mouth to say,

“No, this is her sentence.”

Instead,

He remained there—

taking my sentence upon Himself.

My heart cries out,

Lord,

I am not worthy of such love.

I want to run to You

and take this suffering from You.

You are innocent.

You have been nothing but good to me.

I am the sinner.

I am the guilty one.

Yet You choose to stand in my place.

And in the silence of prayer,

His love seems to whisper:

“This must be. This is how I will bring you into My Heart. Stay with Me. Console Me. Give Me your sins, your wounds, your fears. I have come to bear them for you. By My Cross, I will set you free.”

My daughter,

I have seen your tears.

I have known your suffering.

My Heart has always been moved with compassion for you.

For love of you,

I willingly embraced the Cross.

I thirst for your heart.

I long to draw you close to Me.

You are precious to Me.

I created you for love—

to belong to Me,

to grow in holiness,

and to reflect My light to others.

Your love consoles My Heart.

Remain with Me.

Let Me lead you deeper,

day by day,

moment by moment,

ever more deeply into My Heart.

Follow Me.

Be My beloved.

A Moment to Reflect:

Place yourself for a moment beside Jesus as He stands before Pilate.

What stirs within your heart as you look upon Him?

Can you believe that He willingly embraced the Cross out of love for you?

What sins, wounds, or fears do you need to place into His hands today?

Stay with Jesus for a few moments in silence. Let yourself receive His love—and ask Him how you can console His Heart with your own.

🙏 Writing for the Lord is one of my greatest joys, and I dedicate much of my time and energy to this ministry. If these reflections have encouraged your faith, I would be deeply grateful for your support. As a disabled consecrated woman, your paid subscription helps provide for my daily needs while enabling me to continue this writing ministry and share the beauty of the Catholic faith. Thank you for your kindness and generosity. God bless you. 🙏

Used with permission www.AdoreHim.com

(C) 2018-26 Lindsey Grace Mariella

(600 words, 3 minutes read time.)

✦ A Past Meditation ✦
Written in the past and newly restored.

John 6:41–51
Today’s Mass readings inspired these reflections.

The crowds struggled to receive what Jesus was saying because they were looking only at the surface. They saw the ordinary and could not yet perceive the extraordinary. They knew His earthly family and His humble life, but they could not comprehend that God Himself had come among them.

Faith often works this way.

We do not always understand first and then believe. More often, we believe, and the Lord gradually opens our minds and hearts to understand. Faith is God’s gift. When we receive it with humility, He slowly reveals His truth to us. But we can resist His voice and remain closed to what He desires to reveal.

Jesus teaches that no one comes to Him unless first drawn by the Father. Those who listen to the Father’s gentle invitation find themselves led to Christ.

This reminded me of something from my childhood.

When I was about six or eight years old, a family member who occasionally visited different churches took me to a Lutheran service. She told me I could come along if I remained quiet.

During their communion service, something stirred deep within me.

It was more than curiosity about the bread they were sharing.

I sensed a hunger that I could not explain.

Even as a child, I knew something sacred was taking place. I longed for something beyond what my eyes could see—a communion with God that I did not yet have words to describe.

Looking back now, I can see that the Father was already drawing my heart.

He had planted within me a longing that only He could satisfy.

Perhaps this is part of what it means to listen to the Father—not simply to hear with our ears, but to recognize those deepest desires He has placed within us: the longing for truth, for love, for holiness, and ultimately for Himself.

Every human heart carries this hunger.

The question is whether we recognize it.

Will we allow God to satisfy it?

Or will we try to fill it with something that can never truly nourish the soul?

When Jesus revealed that He would give Himself as the Bread of Life, many listeners could not move beyond the literal meaning of His words. They turned away because they could not yet see with the eyes of faith.

Yet others remained.

Perhaps they did not understand everything He meant.

But they had come to know Him.

They had experienced His truth, His holiness, and His love. They had learned to trust Him. And so, even without fully understanding, they stayed.

Faith often begins there—

not with complete understanding,

but with trusting the One who speaks.

Lord,

draw us ever more deeply to Yourself.

Give us ears that hear with faith,

hearts that recognize our deepest hunger,

and souls that find their true nourishment in You.

May every Holy Communion draw us into a deeper union with Your Sacred Heart.

Amen.

A Moment to Reflect:

What is your heart truly hungry for?

Can you recognize moments in your life when the Father may have been quietly drawing you toward Jesus—even before you understood what He was doing?

Is there something Christ is asking you to trust before you fully understand?

The next time you receive Jesus in Holy Communion, ask Him to deepen your hunger for Him and satisfy your heart with the Bread of Life.

🙏 Writing for the Lord is one of my greatest joys, and I dedicate much of my time and energy to this ministry. If these reflections have encouraged your faith, I would be deeply grateful for your support. As a disabled consecrated woman, your paid subscription helps provide for my daily needs while enabling me to continue this writing ministry and share the beauty of the Catholic faith. Thank you for your kindness and generosity. God bless you. 🙏

Used with permission www.AdoreHim.com

(C) 2018-26 Lindsey Grace Mariella

(477 words, 3 minutes read time.)

✦ A Past Meditation ✦
Written in the past and newly restored.

I gazed upon Our Lord standing in the Praetorium before Pilate, just condemned to death. He was covered in gashes, clothed in a purple cloak, and crowned with thorns upon His precious Head. His Head was bowed, His eyes filled with grief, terror, and tears.

The look in Your eyes compelled my heart with pity, Lord. I did this to You by my sins. Sorrow for my sins fills my heart, along with compassion for all You suffered to save me, my dear Savior. I should have received that sentence of death, but You took my place. Only You could set me free from eternal separation. O, what unutterable, unending torment that would have been!

Yet I sense something more here, Lord. You not only suffered for me—you suffered with me when I, too, was wounded by others and filled with terror and grief. How completely You knew my suffering. My Crucified Savior and my Sorrowful Mother, You stood beside me, weeping with me in my sufferings. Your Hearts were one with mine.

And today, Your Sacred Heart and the Immaculate Heart of Mary remain near me, gently bringing healing to all my wounds, that I may be free in You, Lord—free to walk with You, free to love, free to serve, free to fulfill the mission and purpose for which You created me, and free to answer Your call to holiness.

Lord, help each of us, Your beloved children, receive the healing and full flowering of grace that You desire for us. You permitted many wounds along our journey, yet You never desired us to cling to them. You call us to surrender them to You, unite them with Your Cross, and receive Your healing love.

Teach us to place every broken piece into Your Hands and allow You to love us in every wounded place. Reveal to us the depth of Your compassion and the transforming power of Your healing love.

I desire to be free, Lord. We all long to be free.

Lead us, Lord. Lead us.

May deeper and deeper healing unfold along this journey of holiness. Hold my hand every step of the way, and never let me leave Your side. Wipe away my every tear.

Amen.

A Moment to Reflect:

Have you ever brought your deepest wounds to Jesus in prayer?

What part of His Passion speaks most powerfully to your own journey?

Is there a burden or broken place you feel Him inviting you to place into His loving Hands today?

I’d love to hear your thoughts or prayer intentions in the comments. May we continue walking together toward the healing, freedom, and holiness He desires for each of us.

🙏 Writing for the Lord is one of my greatest joys, and I dedicate much of my time and energy to this ministry. If these reflections have encouraged your faith, I would be deeply grateful for your support. As a disabled consecrated woman, your paid subscription helps provide for my daily needs while enabling me to continue this writing ministry and share the beauty of the Catholic faith. Thank you for your kindness and generosity. God bless you. 🙏

Used with permission www.AdoreHim.com

(C) 2018-26 Lindsey Grace Mariella

(552 words, 3 minutes read time.)

✦ A Past Meditation ✦
Written in the past and newly restored.

What does the word home awaken within your heart?

What does your eternal Home bring to mind?

The thought fills me with peace because, in Purgatory or in Heaven, there is security.

No more risk of falling away from the Lord.

Our union with Him will be forever secure.

On this earthly pilgrimage, there is still the battle against sin and the awareness of my own weakness. Yet Jesus continually calls us to trust Him, and so each day becomes an invitation to choose trust over fear.

What does your eternal Home stir within your heart?

Reflecting on seeing some of my dear loved ones again one day has often brought me to tears.

I remember delighting in their goodness.

Their smiles.

The way they laughed.

How they were there for me in life-changing ways.

The quiet heart-to-heart conversations.

How they knew my heart before I even spoke.

How they stood beside me when I needed them most.

The place they hold within my heart can never be erased.

Their loving gaze.

Their embrace.

That feeling of being completely safe.

These were little foretastes of Heaven—

yet they always ended too soon.

Time together was fragile.

Temporary.

The pain of their absence reminds us that love is eternal and that the bonds of friendship were made to last forever.

How I long to see them again, to enjoy their presence in a joy that will never end.

No more alternating between sorrow and happiness.

No more wishing time would slow down.

No more waiting for another reunion.

Love and presence will never again be separated.

This fills my heart with joy.

The sorrow we feel when those we love approach—or enter—their eternal reward reveals how deeply they live within our hearts.

Through their love, the Lord has allowed us to glimpse something of His own Divine Heart.

Every soul awaiting us in eternity draws our hearts a little closer to Jesus and reminds us that this world is passing away, but love remains forever.

Love is stronger than death.

The love we have received from others prepares us for the fullness of love that God Himself longs to give us.

The embrace of Jesus will surpass every earthly joy, every friendship, every love we have ever known.

My heart is lifted whenever I ponder what is still to come.

How good it is to reflect often upon our true Home.

Such longing (and tribulations) gradually detaches our hearts from passing things and draws us ever more closely to our one Love—the Lord.

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there shall be no more death or mourning, wailing or pain, [for] the old order has passed away.”

(Rev 21:4 USCCB)

A Moment to Reflect:

What comes to mind when you think of your eternal Home?

Has the love of someone dear ever awakened within you a deeper longing for Heaven?

How is the Lord inviting you to place your hope more fully in the promise of eternal life?

Share your thoughts in the comments—I would love to hear what “Home at Last” means to you.

🙏 Writing for the Lord is one of my greatest joys, and I dedicate much of my time and energy to this ministry. If these reflections have encouraged your faith, I would be deeply grateful for your support. As a disabled consecrated woman, your paid subscription helps provide for my daily needs while enabling me to continue this writing ministry and share the beauty of the Catholic faith. Thank you for your kindness and generosity. God bless you. 🙏

Used with permission www.AdoreHim.com

(C) 2018-26 Lindsey Grace Mariella

✦ A Past Meditation ✦
Written in the past and newly restored.

Inspired by Luke 7

Picturing the woman weeping at the feet of Jesus.

Christ forgives

so that we may love.

As I prayed with today’s Gospel (Luke 7), I found myself deeply moved by the woman who came to Jesus in tears.

While others saw only her past,

Jesus saw her heart.

She knelt at His feet,

washing them with her tears,

drying them with her hair,

and anointing them with costly perfume.

Her love revealed a heart that had encountered mercy.

The Lord gently contrasted her loving response with the indifference of those who believed they had little need of forgiveness.

Those who recognize the greatness of God’s mercy often discover a deeper capacity to love.

I have often reflected on forgiveness.

What moves me to tears is the image of our Heavenly Father standing with open arms, longing to welcome His children home.

When we are at our lowest,

when our hearts cry out in sorrow,

He does not turn us away.

He runs to meet us with mercy,

heals us,

and loves us without measure.

Some of the greatest saints knew this deeply.

St. Paul.

St. Augustine.

St. Francis.

St. Mary Magdalene.

Each experienced the transforming power of God’s mercy.

Even St. Teresa of Ávila observed that God can bring great good from our wanderings when they lead us back to Him in humility and love.

When we fall,

we come to know our poverty apart from God.

We discover how completely we depend upon His grace.

This painful self-knowledge becomes a gift,

because it opens our hearts to humility.

And humility makes room for love.

Having received mercy ourselves,

we begin to look upon other sinners differently.

Instead of condemnation,

our hearts grow in compassion.

We recognize that apart from God’s grace,

we are no different.

This is one of the beautiful fruits of reconciliation.

I do not mean that it is good to fall into sin.

Sin always wounds.

Yet our God is so good that He can bring grace even from our failures when we sincerely repent and return to Him.

Nothing is beyond His power to redeem.

Sometimes there are souls who have faithfully followed the Lord from childhood.

Their path is beautiful.

Others have wandered far before finding their way home.

Their path is beautiful too.

Every soul must ultimately learn the same lesson:

that God’s love is never earned.

It is always a gift.

Whether our conversion is quiet or dramatic,

we all stand before Him with empty hands,

receiving what we could never deserve.

The Gospel is summed up in one word:

Love.

Lord,

how deep does Your love go?

The answer is found in the Passion of Jesus Christ.

There,

upon the Cross,

Love held nothing back.

This is a mystery we spend our whole lives entering more deeply.

Lord,

I place my hand in Yours.

Give me courage,

and walk beside me

along the road to Calvary.

Draw me ever closer to Yourself.

May I never cease to marvel at Your mercy,

and may the love You have poured into my heart

overflow to every soul I meet.

Amen.

A Moment to Reflect:

Which part of this Gospel speaks most deeply to your heart?

When have you experienced the healing mercy of Jesus in your own life?

How has receiving His forgiveness helped you grow in compassion toward others?

I’d love to hear your reflections in the comments.

🙏 Writing for the Lord is one of my greatest joys, and I dedicate much of my time and energy to this ministry. If these reflections have encouraged your faith, I would be deeply grateful for your support. As a disabled consecrated woman, your paid subscription helps provide for my daily needs while enabling me to continue this writing ministry and share the beauty of the Catholic faith. Thank you for your kindness and generosity. God bless you. 🙏

Used with permission www.AdoreHim.com

(C) 2018-26 Lindsey Grace Mariella

(1,165 words, 6 minutes read time.)

That’s still a thing?

You still fast on Fridays?

Yes. The Church still honors Fridays because they commemorate the death of Our Lord on Good Friday.

Many Catholics abstain from meat and may also fast.

They may also pray the Stations of the Cross, the Divine Mercy Chaplet, or other devotions.

Some may attend Mass on this day, if able.

Have you heard of what the saints did?

In terms of penances?

The saints of long ago, and perhaps some devout souls of today, wore hair shirts to conquer the sins of the flesh. A hair shirt was a garment woven from coarse animal hair (often goat hair) and was extremely uncomfortable to wear. It was used as a form of penance to help conquer temptations and unite suffering to the Lord for the salvation of souls.

Always consult a wise spiritual director for drastic penances.

St. Francis of Assisi even threw himself into a thorn bush to combat temptation and cool bodily passions.

Some saints wore a rope around their bare waist to resist the flesh.

Some used a “discipline,” which was a light whip.

It goes to show that most of us have never resisted sin to the point of shedding blood, like our crucified Lord Jesus.

When we face strong temptations, we are called to battle like soldiers.

We need a game plan detailing our near occasions of sin, the virtues to strive for in opposition to our vices, and practical steps we can take daily to build up resistance and walk heroically.

It does not necessarily require drastic penances.

Regular penances can go a long way in the battle.

Perhaps a cold shower once a week, if not too much.

Drinking water instead of flavored beverages.

Skipping coffee and stimulating supplements on some days.

Avoid seasoning some meals.

Exercise is an excellent penance!

Using apps that keep us accountable or restrict our use of devices.

In the lives of Carmelite saints—St. Teresa of Avila’s meditation on Christ’s Passion helped awaken a deeper conversion and love for the Lord. From that point forward, she grew steadily in prayer and eventually received the extraordinary graces of infused contemplation.

We, too, can benefit greatly from meditating on the Stations of the Cross, the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary, other devotions centered on Jesus’ Passion, or simply gazing upon an image or statue of Him. It brings deep contrition and love and motivates us in ongoing conversion.

 Small Sacrifices, Great Love

St. Thérèse of Lisieux approached sacrifice differently from many saints of earlier centuries. Because of her delicate health and temperament, she focused less on extraordinary penances and more on hidden acts of love. She patiently endured annoyances, refrained from defending herself, accepted misunderstandings, cheerfully performed unpleasant tasks, and made countless small sacrifices throughout the day. She often denied herself small comforts, practiced custody of her tongue, and sought to show kindness to those she found difficult. Her “Little Way” teaches us that holiness is found not primarily in great penances but in great love. Every small sacrifice offered with love becomes precious in God’s sight. She is a wonderful saint for those with chronic illnesses or weaker constitutions.

As one with multiple debilitating chronic illnesses, I find it very helpful to do small things like fasting from sweets or my favorite snacks on set days of the week. It works great during Lent and Advent, and I vary it throughout Ordinary Time.

Again, a wise spiritual director knows us best and can advise us accordingly.

Growth in holiness comes in baby steps.

There will be falls as we progress.

Little by little, the Lord builds us up.

It may feel like we’re regressing or getting nowhere.

But the Lord knows the desire of our hearts.

The very desire for holiness is already a sign of His grace at work within us.

Imagine yourself years from now—stronger in virtue, steadier in trials, and walking more faithfully with the Lord.

Ponder the immense fruit that can pour into your own soul and then flow through you to others because your heart clings to the Lord.

When we are frequently falling into the same faults, we are not yet firmly established in virtue, and it can be harder to become the instrument God desires us to be.

The book Soul of the Apostolate explains how we need powerful lives of prayer and union with God to become immense channels of grace in ministry—even the everyday ministry of sharing the Lord with those we encounter or those already in our lives.

Let us both keep striving to become grace-filled instruments in God’s hands. This little one has to keep working at it, day by day.

Because this life is not just about us and our salvation. Each of us is called to holiness, and each of us has charisms for reaching others in the world.

But we all have a beginning, and today it may simply be to conquer our vices and persevere in mental prayer (meditation on the Gospels), the Examen, and the Sacraments.

I believe some people can get into helping others too early on, and they risk collapsing a house not yet built on rock.

It is important to bring our discernment to a wise spiritual director.

Some are still raising small children, and that is their primary vocation at the moment.

Some are still trying to establish themselves in their careers, and that is essential for stability and for providing for future responsibilities.

Each soul is unique and needs individual prayer and discernment.

Let us both continue the fight, day by day. Holiness is not built in a moment but through countless acts of fidelity. The Lord is patient with us. When we fall, He calls us to rise again. When we grow weary, He strengthens us. When we persevere, He gradually transforms our hearts.

May we wholeheartedly seek His will, embrace the crosses He permits, and offer Him our daily sacrifices with love. It may begin with one small “yes” and grow into a lifetime of yeses that lead us ever deeper into His Sacred Heart and our Blessed Mother’s heart.

Let us pray for one another, for we are brothers and sisters following the one true Shepherd.

Amen.

A Moment to Reflect:

How do you practice small sacrifices in your own spiritual life? Has the Lord used ordinary acts of self-denial to help you grow in virtue or deepen your love for Him?

Is there one vice or attachment that He may be inviting you to surrender more fully? What “little yes” can you offer Him today?

I’d love to hear your thoughts or experiences in the comments. Let us encourage one another as we continue striving for holiness, one faithful step at a time. Please keep me in your prayers, and know that I will be praying for you as well.

🙏 Writing for the Lord is one of my greatest joys, and I dedicate much of my time and energy to this ministry. If these reflections have encouraged your faith, I would be deeply grateful for your support. As a disabled consecrated woman, your paid subscription helps provide for my daily needs while enabling me to continue this writing ministry and share the beauty of the Catholic faith. Thank you for your kindness and generosity. God bless you. 🙏

Used with permission www.AdoreHim.com

(C) 2018-26 Lindsey Grace Mariella

Years ago, I found myself gradually losing interest in most secular television, movies, and music.

I became increasingly aware of the Lord and of the effect these forms of entertainment had on my mind and heart.

Much of it left me feeling discouraged, restless, or focused on things that were not of God.

As I grew closer to the Lord, I felt led to avoid that which seemed to distance me from Him, even if only for a few moments.

Over time, silence began to grow in my life.

That silence brought a greater awareness of my own thoughts and a greater ability to examine them in a meaningful way.

Silence also creates space for prayer—for pondering heavenly things and for speaking heart-to-heart with Jesus, Mary, the holy Angels and saints, and even remembering the faithful departed.

I am very grateful for the quiet, hidden life the Lord has given me through my disabilities and inability to work. It gives me the freedom to pursue a more prayerful life, grow closer to Jesus, write, and offer my sufferings and prayers for souls in need.

I suppose that if I were called to live more actively in the world, the Lord would provide the graces needed for that vocation as well.

Yet I have noticed that many souls, as they grow in deeper union with God, begin to desire greater silence and prayer. They intentionally make room for it in their lives and sometimes even make significant changes in order to protect that sacred space with Him.

I still have a ways to go before living in a deep, ongoing recollection like that of Brother Lawrence and St. Thérèse of Lisieux, who both wrote about their interior lives with God.

But I aspire to it. And I look back with gratitude for the healing and growth the Lord has already brought about.

As the saints teach, God speaks to the heart in silence.

It is in times of silence and interior quiet that we grow in virtue and receive truths from His Word and inspirations from the Lord.

St. Basil the Great once observed:

“Silence is the beginning of purifying the soul.”

God’s communication is often like a whisper to the soul. Noise and busyness drown Him out.

This is why we need times of silence in our day.

Silence in daily mental prayer.

Silence and prayer before Mass begins.

Silence and thanksgiving following Mass.

Can we think of more ways to incorporate silence and listening for God?

So often we fill our homes with podcasts, our cars with satellite radio, and our minds with constant activity.

Yet we may be missing special encounters with the Lord—messages of love from Him, inspirations for growth, gentle corrections, and invitations to draw closer.

Are we allowing ourselves to be loved?

Why are we afraid of silence?

It is in moments of silence that what is hidden in our hearts comes into the light.

Our fears, wounds, sins, attachments, and loneliness are not revealed so that we may be condemned or discouraged. They are brought into the light so they can be touched by the Lord’s love and mercy.

 I remember years ago, early in my reversion, lying awake at night while my mind flooded with fears, severe temptations, and painful memories. Silence was not always comforting. At times, it seemed to amplify everything that was wounded within me.

Later, I learned to quietly sing Marian hymns, either interiorly or aloud, filling my heart and mind with holy thoughts and the loving presence of Our Lady. During other periods of my life, depression weighed heavily upon me, making it difficult to be alone with my thoughts. My medications were not yet well adjusted. I was often alone throughout the day. There were wounds that had not yet healed, spiritual struggles that had not yet been addressed, and burdens I had not yet learned to surrender to the Lord.

Yet through prayer, the Sacraments, therapy, holy friendships, and God’s patient grace, healing gradually came. The Lord did not heal everything at once. Little by little, He brought light into the darkness and peace into the chaos.

Ironically, it was often through periods of silence, mental prayer, and honest self-reflection before God that I became more aware of what needed healing. Silence has been one of the Lord’s greatest instruments in helping me seek Him, know myself more honestly, and allow His grace to work more deeply within my soul.

What we surrender to Him can be healed.

What we confess can be forgiven.

What we entrust to Him can be transformed.

God does not reveal our hearts to shame us. He reveals them because He desires to draw us closer to Himself.

Your heart is His throne here on earth.

I once heard a woman admit how uncomfortable silence was during a prayer service. She simply was not accustomed to it.

How often is this the case in our lives?

I do wonder.

We do not want to wait until the day we meet God face-to-face to finally allow everything hidden in our hearts to surface and finally listen to Him.

The rest is in His hands, but He reminds us throughout Scripture to be prepared. We are called to a life of prayer and to knowing Jesus interiorly.

Loneliness may be one of the enemy’s greatest lies.

Around the world, monks, friars, nuns, religious sisters, hermits, and even many lay faithful spend long periods in silence.

Yet their silence is filled with Presence—the awareness that God is always with them and always loving them.

Our humanity may leave us feeling lonely at times, but as we grow spiritually, we become more and more companions of the Lord throughout the day and night.

Not only is the Lord with you, but so are Mary, the saints, and the holy Angels.

Because of my health and other limitations, aside from Mass, I am not always able to travel frequently to a church or chapel.

I am grateful to be able to join virtual Eucharistic Adoration and spend time with Jesus throughout the day, united with mental prayer, the Breviary, the Rosary, the Divine Mercy Chaplet, the Examen, and other prayers.

I also keep EWTN playing quietly at times, which helps me remain spiritually nourished and connected.

Why do people avoid silence?

Why do we avoid what is in our hearts?

I would once again urge souls to prepare for Heaven sooner rather than later.

If a person continually seeks noise and distraction, it may be because turning inward hurts—and hurts deeply.

The saints teach that we are called to daily mental prayer, such as Lectio Divina or prayer with the Gospels.

If we are called to this deep encounter with God day after day throughout our lives, I can only imagine how much will come pouring forth when we enter eternity.

One day, all noise will cease.

We will stand before God and see Him face-to-face.

Why wait until then to begin listening?

He is speaking to your heart even now.

Let us prepare for Heaven—today.

Suggested Reading

The Practice of the Presence of God — Brother Lawrence
Story of a Soul — St. Thérèse of Lisieux
The Way of Trust and Love — Fr. Jacques Philippe 
Time For God — Fr. Jacques Philippe 
Into The Deep — Dan Burke
Books and resources from Bob Schuchts and the John Paul II Healing Center
Talks and resources by Sr. Miriam James Heidland

A Moment to Reflect:

How comfortable are you with silence? Do you find yourself seeking moments of quiet with the Lord, or filling every space with activity and noise?

Has God ever revealed something in your heart during mental prayer, Eucharistic Adoration, or a time of stillness that led to healing or a deeper conversion?

What is one small way you could create more silence in your daily life this week so you can listen more attentively to His voice?

I’d love to hear your thoughts or experiences in the comments. Let us encourage one another to seek the Lord more faithfully in the silence, and please keep me in your prayers, as I will be praying for you.

🙏 Writing for the Lord is one of my greatest joys, and I dedicate much of my time and energy to this ministry. If these reflections have encouraged your faith, I would be deeply grateful for your support. As a disabled consecrated woman, your paid subscription helps provide for my daily needs while enabling me to continue this writing ministry and share the beauty of the Catholic faith. Thank you for your kindness and generosity. God bless you. 🙏

Used with permission www.AdoreHim.com

(C) 2018-26 Lindsey Grace Mariella

(773 words, 4 minutes read time.)

✦ A Past Meditation ✦
Written in the past and newly restored.

When I stand before You, face to face at the end of my life, will I have the courage to see You and to be seen by You?

Lord, so often we canonize one another at funerals. Yet the truth is that most of us carry many impurities that still need healing before we behold Your glory.

Show me all that chokes Your grace within my soul, and give me the courage to root out whatever keeps me from loving You more perfectly. I long to behold You with joy upon my face and a clear conscience. Grant me the grace of the Last Rites at my end, and help me today to strive for complete holiness, all for Your glory and pleasure.

You came to earth and suffered to the extreme—not merely so that I might reach Purgatory, but so that I might receive every grace that leads to holiness. Help me never to waste Your grace. Let Your love mold, shape, and carve me into Your beauty and likeness.

It is such a struggle here below. Day by day, the pressures of life pull me here and there, and I come before You confessing my “seven sins” a day. Teach me obedience in all things. Give me the courage and strength to fight the good fight for love of You. Help me fall so deeply in love with You that I long to persevere to the end and to the heights of holiness.

We know neither the day nor the hour when our earthly life will end. Give me this day to live well for You. All my todays, faithfully lived, become a lifetime poured out like an alabaster jar at Your feet. I hold nothing back but give You everything. May our joy be complete on that day.

May all the good You accomplish through my life give You glory for all ages and all eternity. Let Your light shine through me, that souls may see Your goodness and be drawn to Your love. I desire that all may come to know You as Father and Friend.

You are such a good Father. You desire only what is best for my soul. You use so many thorns to help me grow. Teach me to love Your ways and to surrender to Your gentle craftsmanship. I long to lose myself in You until others see less of me and more of You.

Your beloved St. Teresa of Calcutta reflected Your beauty and purity so radiantly. Like her, help me attain the glory You have prepared for me. Whether it is great or small in the eyes of the world, it gives You delight because it is Your holy Will.

You know every weakness within me. Strengthen me day by day against the waves that rise around me. Build virtue within my soul, that I may live according to Your calling, relying more and more upon Your grace.

You persevered, step by step, through Gethsemane and Calvary. By Your example, teach me to follow You through storm and calm alike, walking always in peace. Everything You permit is meant to draw me more deeply into Your loving embrace. Remind me of this through every token of Your affection, whether painful or sweet.

I love You, Lord, yet I see how imperfect my love still is. I long to bring You more joy than sorrow. Send every grace, every friendship, and every opportunity that will deepen my love for You. Make my love holy.

Give me the courage to keep striving without discouragement after my falls. You know how long and difficult the journey is. Prepare my path with grace and love. Though I see it strewn with thorns and nails, I also see in the saints a beautiful love for suffering—a love that consoles You while Your purifying fire heals them.

Teach me to love this beautiful suffering. Love filled every drop of Blood You shed upon the Cross. Love is what You feed me with in Holy Communion.

Take my hand, dear Lord, and lead the way. Prepare my wedding garment until the day I stand before You, forever in Your light.

Amen.

A Moment to Reflect:

As you read this prayer, what part speaks most deeply to your heart? Is there an area where the Lord is inviting you to greater trust, surrender, or holiness? How is He preparing your “wedding garment” today? Feel free to share your reflections below.

🙏 Writing for the Lord is one of my greatest joys, and I dedicate much of my time and energy to this ministry. If these reflections have encouraged your faith, I would be deeply grateful for your support. As a disabled consecrated woman, your paid subscription helps provide for my daily needs while enabling me to continue this writing ministry and share the beauty of the Catholic faith. Thank you for your kindness and generosity. God bless you. 🙏

Used with permission www.AdoreHim.com

(C) 2018-26 Lindsey Grace Mariella

(709 words, 4 minutes read time.)

https://youtu.be/-D5UWit-IrI?si=ViifrCxi-zVq9yE

Link is YouTube video: “Chiara Corbella Petrillo” by Juan de Dios (2019)

When my priest and spiritual director, Fr. David, lay in a hospital bed for months after a horrific car accident at seventeen left him in a vegetative state, his mother visited him every day.

She prayed her heart out for him.

When a family friend asked her, paraphrasing,  “How do you do it? I would be yelling at God and losing it,” she quietly replied,

“My son belongs to God, not to me. He is in God’s hands.”

She accepted whatever the Lord desired.

She suffered profoundly, as did the whole family. Yet her heart rested in Our Blessed Mother. Through the Rosary, she had learned to trust the Father even amid unimaginable sorrow.

• ●

As I prayerfully watched this heartbreaking interview with Chiara Petrillo’s widow husband, Enrico, Fr. David’s mother immediately came to mind.

Like her, Chiara and Enrico were detached souls who entrusted everything to God’s will and to the Providence that always seeks our good by drawing us deeper into His Heart.

Chiara and Enrico even experienced profound joy after losing their first children. Such souls are deeply attuned to the Holy Spirit and have learned to see suffering as God sees it.

They perceived not only the grief before them, but also the grace God was pouring into it. Their sorrow never extinguished the work of the Holy Spirit. Like Our Blessed Mother, immense suffering was mysteriously accompanied by profound peace and joy.

Enrico shared a powerful perspective on life and the circumstances we are given. Paraphrasing his words:

“If only I had these parents… that spouse… those circumstances…”

Stop.

Receive the life God has entrusted to you.

Let Him transform it into something radically beautiful for His glory and for the salvation of souls.

Many of us have shortcomings, challenging circumstances, and things we wish were different. Yet books such as Abandonment to Divine Providence teach that everything is either permitted or willed by God, and that He lovingly weaves every circumstance into our sanctification if we surrender ourselves to Him.

Jesus demonstrated this mystery more powerfully than anyone. Through His Crucifixion and Resurrection flowed the redemption of the whole world.

From the wounds in His hands and feet flowed the grace that reopened the gates of Heaven.

Again and again we see the same mystery.

Healing springs from suffering united to Christ.

Growth comes through trials embraced in love.

Virtue is forged in adversity.

Charisms often mature in the soil of suffering.

Ministry deepens as we become more conformed to Jesus.

I believe this is at the heart of Enrico’s witness.

He remains grateful to God for everything he has received and for the path that now leads him toward Heaven.

He could have become bitter.

He could have remained trapped in desolation.

Instead, he understands that Chiara is a daughter of the Father.

He is a son of the Father.

Their children belong to the Father.

Everyone belongs to the Father.

He welcomes the future with open arms and a peaceful heart.

May we too learn to trust God with whatever His Providence marks out for us.

May we learn gratitude, seeing the good He pours forth through our wounds, trials, sufferings, losses, and even through what seems lacking.

Lord,

give us eyes of faith.

Teach us to recognize Your loving Providence even in the crosses we would never have chosen.

May we discover the blessings hidden within our wounds and trust that every sorrow united to Christ bears fruit for eternity.

Amen.

A Moment to Reflect:

How has God brought unexpected grace out of a difficult season in your life?

Is there an area where you are struggling to surrender your plans to His Providence?

What would it look like to place that burden into the Father’s hands today?

Has the witness of a saint—or of someone you have known personally—helped you trust God more deeply through suffering?

I’d love to hear your thoughts or experiences in the comments. May we encourage one another to walk by faith and discover the hidden blessings God is continually weaving into our lives.

🙏 Writing for the Lord is one of my greatest joys, and I dedicate much of my time and energy to this ministry. If these reflections have encouraged your faith, I would be deeply grateful for your support. As a disabled consecrated woman, your paid subscription helps provide for my daily needs while enabling me to continue this writing ministry and share the beauty of the Catholic faith. Thank you for your kindness and generosity. God bless you. 🙏

Used with permission www.AdoreHim.com

(C) 2018-26 Lindsey Grace Mariella

(3,615 words, 19 minutes read time.)

This is the formatted version — I was able to keep the word count intact.

“The Father’s Love Through Fr. David: The Mystical and the Heroic”
In thanksgiving for Fr. David’s priestly ministry and in honor of his priestly anniversary on this day, Solemnity of Saints Peter and Paul, June 29.

What tenderness, what gentleness, in the Father whom St. Thérèse so confidently loved. She wrote as a child who would climb into her Father’s lap. She was blessed with a loving earthly father, and it was easy for her to see God the Father in this way.

St. Teresa of Avila wrote a series of beautiful and powerful meditations on the Our Father.

Mother Angelica’s path was different. She struggled to see God as Father because she did not grow up with an earthly father. Yet I believe the Lord more than compensated. She came to possess a profound trust in the Divine Providence, love, and care of God the Father.

She inspires me.

My own relationship with my earthly father has been challenging. Yet, like God the Father, he excelled in sacrifice and provision for his family. I am grateful for the ways he has been there for me, and I pray for him daily. He is elderly now, and likely it will not be long before he enters a nursing home.

Yet I still carry deep wounds from my upbringing. The Lord continues His healing work through prayer, therapy, the Sacraments, and spiritual disciplines. We are all broken people coming from broken families in one way or another. And often, the places where we have been wounded become the very places where God teaches us how to love others.

Daily mental prayer and frequent reception of the Sacraments have been among the greatest channels of healing in my life.

●●●

In prayer tonight, I reflected with great fondness upon the name “Father.”

Immediately, my thoughts turned to Fr. David.

My spiritual director.

My dear friend.

A spiritual father for many years.

I saw again his humility, his gentleness, and his love. I remembered the depths of prayer that flowed from him. Prayer so sincere, so recollected, that it seemed to rise from the very core of his being. Prayer formed through years of suffering, missionary labor, and intimacy with God. From aches and cries born of wrestling with the Lord through many years of missionary service.

At seventeen years of age, Fr. David lay for months in a hospital bed, vegetative, after a devastating car accident left him with severe brain injuries.

Yet God brought him back to life.

That crucible forged within him a heroic perseverance that would sustain him through seminary, the priesthood, missionary life, and countless battles yet to come.

Serving the poorest of the poor.

Serving souls whom many others would never meet.

As a young Franciscan missionary, he experienced what he later described as a call within a call.

A new mission.

A poor branch that would have to raise its own benefactors and trust deeply in Divine Providence.

While traveling through the mountains of Peru, he caught sight of a mysterious dirt path winding upward toward villages hidden high among the clouds. Something stirred within his heart. His founder gave him permission to serve these people.

●●●

The villages sat so high in the mountains that simply breathing could be difficult. Clean water was scarce. Usually, there was hardly any water at all. Few plants survived. Few animals. Life itself was a struggle.

Food was scarce high in the Andes. Travel between villages took months. Much of the time, his only nourishment was a single bouillon cube and a gulp of water. Little by little, his body became severely emaciated. Yet the Lord sustained him through this rugged mission.

Along narrow mountain paths he traveled by jeep or by an old donkey so thin he could count its bones.

During those long journeys, he even learned to fall asleep sitting upright on the donkey, traveling for hours between villages.

The roads were dangerous. People sometimes fell from the cliffs and lost their lives. Travel between villages could take months. Yet Fr. David loved these people.

He called them simply,

“My people.”

One dear friend in Peru in the city welcomed him every several months. There, he was grateful for a warm meal, a bath, a bed, and the comfort of friendly conversation.

The rest of the time, he often went for many months with very little to eat, without the comfort of a bed, or even the opportunity to bathe. Yet he embraced these hardships for the souls the Lord had entrusted to him.

He truly believed he would one day die there among them.

The poorest of the Peruvian poor.

But God had other plans.

For decades afterward, he would share the wisdom, experiences, and contemplative fruits of those years.

Through parish missions.

Through retreats.

Through spiritual direction.

Through friendships.

Through countless conversations with those who crossed his path.

At seminaries.

At retreat centers.

In parishes.

In everyday life.

From time to time, if he scraped up enough funds, he would return to the United States to visit his family and community.

He would often give a local parish mission, sharing stories from his years as a missionary, illustrated with camera slides from Peru and Brazil. The Holy Spirit so filled his preaching that people came from all around. The church would fill until there was standing room only.

The miraculous day the only seat left on an airplane had been reserved for a late arrival.

A prestigious man from Mexico.

By God’s grace, he found himself seated beside Fr. David. As they spoke, the man remarked that Fr. David was the first priest who had ever spoken to him as an equal. He was so moved by that simple kindness that he asked to make his Confession.

Before the flight was over, he was led into sacramental Confession. Fr. David later spoke of seeing decades of sin evidenced lifting from the man’s soul. The change was visible. The burden was gone. God had touched him with His mercy and healing grace.

Throughout his life, people were drawn to Fr. David. He spoke to everyone as an equal. There was never an air of superiority, despite the many gifts the Lord had entrusted to him. His humility was profound.

Wherever he went, he simply sought to love, to listen, and to help the person the Lord placed before him.

The time an elderly family friend, gravely ill in a hospital back home in the States, saw Fr. David visit her and pray over her. His prayers were answered. She recovered fully and returned home.

All while he never physically left Peru.

His mother was quite confused by the whole matter until she gradually came to understand the gift God had given him.

I could never fit all his stories onto these pages. But I caught glimpses of the depths of his heroic charity.

One story especially remains with me.

A young Peruvian boy named Deolindo (“God’s beautiful”) was suffering terribly from parasites. Fr. David cared for him with whatever medicine and supplies he could find. Even something as simple as his beloved Johnson’s cream became a gift of mercy.

One day, he held Deolindo in his arms as the boy lay dying.

Deolindo called him,

“Father.”

And through tears, Fr. David called him,

“My son.”

That memory never left him.

People in those villages often did not live beyond thirty years of age. The conditions were that difficult.

When Fr. David was eventually sent back to the United States, he was gravely ill.

Emaciated.

Barely one hundred pounds on a five-foot-ten frame.

Dying from an agonizing cancer in his vertebrae.

And he hadn’t bathed in months as often was the case.

Someone finally found him and brought him down from the mountains to a hospital. The doctors did not know what to do.

Praise God, a dear friend arranged for him to return home to the States.

Months followed in hospitals and recovery. His body had been pushed far beyond its limits.

Yet the deeper wounds were not always physical.

He carried memories.

Traumas.

Sorrows.

The nightmares of Dolindo dying in his arms.

The young boy with gangrene whose leg had to be amputated without anesthesia.

The baby he was forced to deliver and baptize with a water mixture because nothing else was available.

The dangerous times running down the mountains of Peru, trying to escape the gunfire of criminals.

Many men carried guns.

Fr. David carried the Chalice and Paten on his body, placing his trust not in weapons, but in Divine Providence.

The time in Brazil when government officials took him to jail for interrogation. And through prayer, he was led to walk out the doors invisibly in daylight.

Once again, the Lord and his devoted Guardian Angel “Fidelis” protected him through His Providence.

The early years in Brazil when he felt so alone, unable to speak the language, far from home and struggling to find his place. The loneliness weighed heavily upon him. There was no one with whom he could speak in his own language. No one to reminisce with about his beloved baseball team back home.

It was one more sacrifice the Lord asked of him as He prepared him for the mission ahead.

In that isolation, loneliness, and darkness, he often felt abandoned by God. Yet the Lord was quietly leading him through dark nights of purification, drawing him into a deeper union with Himself.

Years later, Fr. David would often remark that he never imagined a “crazy missionary” could become a contemplative.

When he returned home, Sr. Theresa recognized what God had been doing within his soul. She helped him discover the gift of contemplation. From that hidden work flowed a ministry of teaching Carmelite spirituality, contemplation, and holiness to the laity.

The years there when he was severely beaten night after night by seminarians who could not understand him and mistakenly believed he was a spy. The nights spent in that time crying out to God in chapel trying to make sense of suffering and rejection.

At various times throughout his life, Fr. David endured physical attacks from the enemy of souls. Perhaps it was because his faithful service to Christ and to souls made him a particular target of the enemy. Yet the Lord never abandoned him, but strengthened him through every trial.

The late night in Peru when a drunken feud swept through the town and he was beaten nearly beyond recognition. Bruised and battered, he dragged himself and crawled up the mountainside, high beneath the night sky.

There, in the darkness, he cried out to God in prayer.

And the Father gently consoled him.

Assuring him that He only wished him to experience something of what His Son endured while saving the world.

So many moments of Fr. David’s life became a sharing in the sufferings of Christ.

And also a sharing in His love.

The poor parish he served in Brazil.

The heartbreak of his beloved dog whose life was taken in unjust retaliation.

The misunderstandings.

The hardships.

The losses.

Over the years he endured a devastating car accident, repeated spinal meningitis, cancer, hepatitis, violence, physical attacks, gunfire, and severe psychiatric suffering from seizures near the end of life.

Many believe his life was a participation in Jesus’ Passion in saving the world.

All this, and still, he remained faithful.

Still, he loved.

Still, he prayed.

Still, he gave himself away.

This man of faith, this man of God, was deeply influenced by the holy example of his founder, a man known for extraordinary holiness and miracles.

Even for changing the course of a river!

Yet what impressed me most was not miracles.

It was love.

●●●

Fr. David came from a devout family. They were people of virtue. Hard work. Prayer. Sacrifice. And the daily Rosary.

Many sensed, even from his youth, that God had set him apart. The religious sisters at his school noticed, and one teacher remarked that he seemed different, believing he might one day be called to the priesthood.

Yet the call did not become clear in his own heart until his young adult years. He was serious about marriage, when the Lord began a quiet, interior struggle that lasted a whole year.

Finally, God made it known that he would find true peace and lasting happiness only by following His will.

Like every wise soul who surrenders to Divine Love, he finally said yes.

Perhaps because of this, he was prepared for the suffering that would come.

At seventeen years old, he suffered a terrible automobile accident.

The injuries were severe.

His brain and face were severely injured.

His optic nerve severed.

Vision lost in one eye.

Many believed his future was over. Some thought he would never recover.

But God had other plans.

He recovered.

Worked on a highway crew.

He attended a Dominican college.

Entered seminary.

Became a priest.

Yet the road to the priesthood would bring many more trials. Even in the seminaries, the Lord was preparing him for the heroic life ahead. He endured misunderstandings, hostility, food that was scarcely edible, and the challenge of leaving home for Brazil without knowing a single word of Portuguese.

Years were spent learning new languages, adapting to unfamiliar cultures, governments, enduring fleas in his bedding, and even escaping a dormitory engulfed in flames.

He battled much.

He lost much.

Yet the Lord met him in his deepest sorrows, using every trial to prepare him for the mission that lay ahead.

And eventually served in Brazil and Peru for fifteen years.

Grace often accomplished what nature alone could not.

Though completely blind in one eye, the Lord taught him to ride donkeys, horses, and to drive vehicles.

Again and again, God proved Himself greater than every limitation.

He beat the odds because grace does that.

●●●

As I reflect upon my own father wound, I remember how Fr. David rescued me from many spiritual attacks that sought to pull me away from my Carmelite vocation.

He was and remains a steady force in my life.

More than anything, he became a healing balm.

One memory especially stands out to me.

He was always there for me in a fatherly way.

One winter evening, I found myself stranded at the hospital with a slight concussion, a black eye, and no way home. It was dark, and a light snow was falling. I called him, and without hesitation he drove down to bring me home.

Many times, he was only a phone call away, checking in, offering encouragement, or simply making sure I was doing alright. Through countless acts of kindness and care, he reflected something of the Father’s love to me.

In gratitude for the saving grace he was in my life, I sought to be a loving instrument of the Lord, anticipating his needs in little ways and big ways. It was my joy to be there for him, though never able to outdo him!

And it was a great sorrow when this precious season passed away.

Memories still surface, and tears still fall, yet gratitude remains, for he forever holds a precious place in my heart.

His tender love.

His gentleness.

His patience.

His faithful service through the Sacraments.

Private Masses.

Monthly Anointing of the Sick during seasons of severe illness.

Regular Confession.

Spiritual direction.

I will forever be grateful for the gentle care with which he received my whole-life confession. In his loving, patient, and nonjudgmental way, he allowed me to unburden the sins and wounds of many years, gradually, over the course of several weeks.

Not because they could not be forgiven at once, but because the Lord was bringing deeper healing, greater peace, and reconciliation with my past.

No one else could have guided me through that journey with such gentleness and my heart in such peace.

I remain profoundly grateful for this very special priest and dear soul.

Surely, the Lord holds him very close to His Heart.

Through all of these, he helped me see Christ more clearly. He helped me know Christ’s love more personally. He helped me tangibly experience the mercy, compassion, and gaze of the Father.

As the writing charism blossomed, Fr. David became my greatest cheerleader. He encouraged me to keep writing and gave me the freedom to flourish in a blogging ministry to souls in need.

Through his heart, and through the heart of Sr. Theresa as well, I learned what profound contrition looked like.

And sounded like.

He would apologize for the smallest things as though they were matters of great importance. Such was the sincerity of his heart.

The heart of a father and a friend.

It was something I had not often known growing up. I came from a past that was afraid of men. At times, I would leave a room if someone reminded me of painful memories.

Fr. David became one of God’s instruments for healing those deep wounds.

When I write about the love of Jesus, or the love of the Father, I write from love experienced.

The Father has been so compassionate to me that He sent Fr. David into my life for seventeen years.

I will never forget the heroism.

The gentleness.

The mercy.

The sacrifices.

The prayerfulness.

The selflessness.

He lived his vow of poverty with remarkable simplicity. Even after his missionary years, while living with his community back home, he would willingly forgo numbing shots during dental work, content to spare cost and to embrace even small sufferings for the love of Christ.

The smile.

The twinkle in his eye.

The contemplative manner in which he celebrated Mass.

Especially during the Consecration.

The readings.

The homily.

I will never forget the depth of his preaching.

Simple.

Clear.

Prayerful.

Heartfelt.

Encouraging.

Yet filled with profound wisdom.

He had a deep love for the Holy Eucharist and often exhorted others to love Him more. Once, during a parish homily, he spoke of watching people enter the church while passing the Tabernacle without so much as a glance toward Our Lord.

Then he asked in a homily,

“If this is how you treat Jesus on earth,

how will you treat Him

when you meet Him

face to face?”

His words struck many hearts and led to a renewed reverence for Jesus in the Holy Eucharist.

He was so sensitive to the movements of grace. Often in spiritual direction or Confession, he would speak under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. If I later asked him to repeat what he had said, he would simply smile and reply,

“That was the Holy Spirit.

I don’t know what I said.”

It was a beautiful reminder that he desired to be only a humble instrument in the Lord’s hands.

So often Fr. David would sum up what his whole life rested upon. He would gently cup his hands together and say,

“We are in good hands…

in God’s hands.”

Simple words—yet they carried the quiet confidence of a man who had spent a lifetime entrusting everything to Divine Providence.

Holiness radiated through every part of his life.

I will always treasure those moments in the nursing home, squeezing his hand, never wanting to lose him. Wanting to treasure his loving presence a little longer, a precious gift to my life.

So often he longed for Heaven and would ask God why He had not yet taken him home.

In his latter years, he also endured a season of distressing doubts concerning the Holy Eucharist. Yet even there, the Lord did not leave him without consolation. He recounted a heavenly visit from St. Carlo Acutis, whose words brought him great encouragement and renewed peace.

During past near-death experiences, he heard the Lord say:

“I love you,

and I accept you

as you are.”

Words that brought him great comfort and calmed his fears.

Now in old age, amid the aches, limitations, weaknesses, brokenness, and great longing, he would often remember a dream his friend Sr. Theresa had received years before. In it, she was given the assurance that God would take him home when he was holy (and so we hope).

It brought him comfort.

And greater fortitude to carry his crosses with love for God.

Many may remember him for infused contemplation.

For profound wisdom.

For healing.

For bilocation.

For speaking six languages.

For reading hearts:

Sensing who is in grace

and who is in sin.

For heroic suffering.

Or heroic virtue.

But I remember him most for his love.

Many see Fr. David’s life as a remarkable example of white martyrdom. His years of missionary poverty, hunger, illness, loneliness, dark nights of the soul, persecution, physical attacks, and persevering love without seeking recognition all reflect that tradition of daily self-offering to Christ. Only God knows the full holiness of the soul, but the life he lived can inspire us all to take up our crosses and follow in persevering love for Jesus.

●●●

God of all loveliness, how beautiful You are.

How beautiful the reflections of Your Fatherhood You place within our lives.

How precious these fathers, priests, mentors, and spiritual guides are to us.

Thank You for every soul through whom You reveal Your tenderness, Your mercy, and Your care.

May You be honored and praised always for Your goodness to us.

Amen.

“My vocation is love.” – St. Thérèse of Lisieux

Kindly remember Fr. David in your daily prayers. He would often remind us not to forget to pray for him.

May we pray for him, as he prays for us.

🙏 Writing for the Lord is one of my greatest joys, and I dedicate much of my time and energy to this ministry. If these reflections have encouraged your faith, I would be deeply grateful for your support. As a disabled consecrated woman, your paid subscription helps provide for my daily needs while enabling me to continue this writing ministry and share the beauty of the Catholic faith. Thank you for your kindness and generosity. God bless you. 🙏

Used with permission www.AdoreHim.com

(C) 2018-26 Lindsey Grace Mariella

(740 words, 4 minutes read time.)

On the Solemnity of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, I reflected…

Any of us, especially in the early stages of spiritual growth, can fall into subtle judgments or biases about others.

We may judge someone based on their age, nationality, language, social status, occupation, income, or countless other outward features.

The list goes on, often in ways we hardly notice.

• ●

The thief who lay upon the cross,

next to Jesus.

How many onlookers frowned and scoffed,

“What a waste of his life!”

“Glad my son never became like that!”

“Ugh! Glad he never robbed me!”

“He’s dangerous; it’s good they are doing this!”

“I always wondered about him!”

• ●

And what came from the thief’s mouth?

No recoil at suffering for his sins.

No excuses.

No self-defense.

He only asked for God’s mercy.

“Remember me,” he faithfully said to Jesus, speaking of His entering Paradise.

• ●

What did Jesus see?

GOD’S LOVE saw in him a contrite heart, and it only takes the slightest opening for Him to rush in and claim a soul for Himself.

The eyes of God see willing hearts through one lens—compassion.

He looks beyond exteriors and accidentals.

He sees the soul created in His Image.

LOVE SEES LOVE.

• ●

Jesus reaches out to the thief,

holds his face in His hands,

and kisses his forehead.

“My son! My beloved!”

“How long I have waited to celebrate with you!”

“HOME! My home is yours!”

He embraces him and fills his whole being with joy!

His love for the thief

is His love for the prodigal son

is His love for Mary Magdalene

is His love for Paul

is His love for YOU!

• ●

Some people are afraid of their judgment after death.

They are afraid of “not measuring up.”

Even if they have lived a faithful life,

they can still fear.

A faithful priest friend once received in prayer God saying to him,

“It’s okay! I love you and accept you as you are!”

Over and over again!

“I love you!”

“I accept you as you are!”

“I love you!”

“I love you!”

“I love you!”

As his fear melted away.

It helped bring him greater peace and trust in his life and for his future death.

He had lived faithfully, but the Lord needed to bring healing to old insecurities.

He lived longing to meet God face-to-face because he no longer feared death. He knew what to expect.

We truly need to live as faithfully as we can (and still entrust our loved ones who have fallen away to the Good Lord).

Yet I am reminded of the Jansenist-minded nun about whom St. Thérèse reflected after her death. St. Thérèse contrasted the sister’s confidence in God’s justice with her own childlike confidence in God’s merciful love. 

St. Thérèse also teaches us to make reparation (by loving) for those who do not love Him through her Oblation to Merciful Love. She has a bold teaching on striving to go straight to Heaven.

Perhaps our fears of not measuring up can be healed, day by day, by trying to live her Little Way—offering both the smallest and biggest things for love.

And by trusting that God will take care of us.

If something were to happen, He will rescue us in His love, because as we grow in this practice, we learn to let Him into our messes, our hurts, and our falls.

We become agile at opening our hearts to Him and letting Him carry us.

There is a WORLD of difference between a lover of Jesus (and those still learning) and a distrustful, scared, Jansenist-minded, judgmental, floundering soul.

In fact, one of the saints taught that souls are lost not because they sinned too greatly, but because they LACKED TRUST!

Love and trust go together in following the Gospel life of loving Jesus.

So start today, in little steps!

Be like the thief, gently moved to contrition and trusting enough to ask for Paradise. And ask this grace, too, for loved ones whose final moments are known only to God.

Jesus died for each one of us.

He wants to bring us to salvation and Heaven more than we could ever imagine!

Jesus sent those graces to the thief—

and He will send them to you, too!

Sacred Heart of Jesus, I trust You!

Sacred Heart of Jesus, I thank You!

Sacred Heart of Jesus, I love You!

🙏 Writing for the Lord is one of my greatest joys, and I dedicate much of my time and energy to this ministry. If these reflections have encouraged your faith, I would be deeply grateful for your support. As a disabled consecrated woman, your paid subscription helps provide for my daily needs while enabling me to continue this writing ministry and share the beauty of the Catholic faith. Thank you for your kindness and generosity. God bless you. 🙏

Used with permission www.AdoreHim.com

(C) 2018-26 Lindsey Grace Mariella

St. Teresa of Avila taught that

If we fail to see the gifts God sends,

we may never be inspired to love Him.

Consolation:

Increase in faith, hope, and/or love.

Heart inflamed with love of God.

Drawn to heavenly things.

Peace, joy, gratitude.

Tears of love, gratitude, or sorrow for sin.

I came across this quote again, and it brings to mind what a soul-changer it has been for me —and for others —to learn to recognize CONSOLATION—its movements in time of mental prayer, in other devotions, and throughout our day. I find that with frequent dryness and chronic illness, it can be easy to get bogged down and miss God’s Presence, but learning all about consolation really opens our eyes. Our confidence in His constant Presence grows as we embrace Him in times of consolation, and cling to Him in faith in times of desolation; this will give us wings of faith and trust, when all is shaken, and we are left holding onto sheer belief in His Presence, as He withdraws sensibly in the passive nights and reveals Himself in new ways…

Learning the rhythms of consolation and desolation as a part of the growing-in-holiness process is really life-changing. Learning to SEE God – what an incredible grace of the discernment of spirits!

The better we recognize consolation when it comes, the longer we might prolong it and encourage more by expressing our humble gratitude and resting in it.

Imagined possibilities… How about that time meditating on the Father of the Prodigal Son when your heart expanded ten times in the love and embrace of the Heavenly Father. When the words “Jesus wept” grabbed your heart and flooded tears as you felt the understanding, the compassion, the Presence of God Who is Love and who knows what you are going through. The time the mere word “mercy” moved your heart in compassion, repentance, and forgiveness for a relationship that’s been heavy on your heart. The time when your whole body felt permeated with love and joy beyond words, sending your heart soaring in prayers of gratitude. The time your intercessory prayer lit up with the strongest faith, compassion, and fervor for a person. The time Jesus’ gaze at you in the Blessed Sacrament filled you with such joy, you thought you’d die of love. The time you came to prayer with a heavy heart, reflected on the Psalms, and were filled with peace and felt renewed. Or the time you received a phone call from a friend or stumbled upon a quote with the wisdom, comfort, and encouragement you needed at that moment.

There are so many ways the Lord touches us if we but open our eyes to see. He is alive and active! See and believe!

In the Apostoli Viae Discernment of Spirits course with Dan and Stephanie Burke and Fr. Timothy Gallagher, he says that consolation is MORE than just a feeling, it is passively purifying us in FAITH, HOPE, and LOVE, strengthening us for upcoming crosses. So, let God really love you deeply. Soak it all up with humble gratitude!

Desolation clouds out all that and makes God seem absent — that’s when we pull out our DOS tools and work our way out of the storm.

I’ve been blessed – have YOU been blessed?

Image: Unsplash

🙏 Writing for the Lord is one of my greatest joys, and I dedicate much of my time and energy to this ministry. If these reflections have encouraged your faith, I would be deeply grateful for your support. As a disabled consecrated woman, your paid subscription helps provide for my daily needs while enabling me to continue this writing ministry and share the beauty of the Catholic faith. Thank you for your kindness and generosity. God bless you. 🙏

Used with permission www.AdoreHim.com

(C) 2018-26 Lindsey Grace Mariella

Abba, Thank You for being my Father.

Thank You for creating me and calling me Your own.

Thank You for being the God of Love.

Jesus, I trust You love me.

Jesus, I trust You take care of me.

Jesus, I trust You are watching me.

Jesus, I trust You are by my side.

Jesus, I trust You are always with me.

Jesus, I trust You live in my heart.

Jesus, I trust You are holding me.

Jesus, I trust You are embracing me.

Jesus, I trust that I’m the apple of Your eye.

Jesus, I trust that I’m precious to You.

Jesus, I trust You always look to my good.

Jesus, I trust You long for me, thirst for me.

Jesus, I trust You await me in Paradise.

Jesus, I trust we carry every cross as one.

Jesus, I trust You are taking me step by step.

Jesus, I trust we suffer as one and love as one.

Jesus, I trust Your Heart always prays and yearns for me.

Jesus, I trust I am Your Beloved Spouse.

Jesus, I trust You will come for me at my last hour and carry me to the wedding feast.

Jesus, I believe in Your goodness.

Jesus, I believe in Your ever-watchful eye.

Jesus, I believe You are wise and all-knowing.

Jesus, I believe You bring good from all things.

Jesus, I believe You call me to patience and trust.

Jesus, I believe holiness is in the little things.

Jesus, I believe Your Heart lifts at my smallest offering.

Jesus, I believe You are using my shortcomings and weaknesses to reveal and teach me the Way.

Jesus, I believe if I fall, I learn to rise.

Jesus, I believe if I suffer, I learn to love.

Jesus, I believe if my heart breaks, I discover Your touch.

Jesus, I believe I find You in the Garden when I’m alone and hurting.

Jesus, I believe I embrace You in comfort and consolation when I’m grieving.

Jesus, I believe when all seems lost, I discover You are all I need.

Jesus, I believe that I discover Your strength when I can’t go on.

Jesus, I believe I celebrate Your love and goodness when my heart is in jubilation.

Jesus, I believe everything in my life is a springboard to Your Heart if I let it be.

Jesus, I believe You love me, and I ask for one thing:

The grace to live on Your grace alone.

Hold me, dear Lord.  And keep all my beloved souls in Your Heart.  Amen

🙏 Writing for the Lord is one of my greatest joys, and I dedicate much of my time and energy to this ministry. If these reflections have encouraged your faith, I would be deeply grateful for your support. As a disabled consecrated woman, your paid subscription helps provide for my daily needs while enabling me to continue this writing ministry and share the beauty of the Catholic faith. Thank you for your kindness and generosity. God bless you. 🙏

Used with permission www.AdoreHim.com

(C) 2018-26 Lindsey Grace Mariella

Souls

“[No one] was ever

lost because

his sin was too great.

But because his trust

was too small.”

- St. Francis Xavier Seelos

Quote: Word “no one” added by me.

Reflecting on the Gospel of John (20:19-31) and Divine Mercy, I was struck by “doubting Thomas.” When Our Lord first visited His Apostles in the locked room, He chose a time when Thomas was not present. This interested me. It looks as though Our Lord may have done so to highlight Thomas and all doubting souls, to show His great love for us. With so many signs and visits the Lord showed His disciples, Thomas still couldn’t muster the faith. Our Lord had compassion for him.

The Lord doesn’t desire that any of us remain down and out in the pit of doubt. He allows such trials so that we exercise faith and trust. Those among us, especially introverted temperaments, who experience great temptations of doubt and discouragement, know how real the struggle is. Saint Faustina is thought to be phlegmatic and the saint of trust and mercy — this gives us all great hope in reaching the height of faith and trust. And we can’t forget “doubting Thomas” soared to sanctity!

When we’re sinking, Our Lord reaches down His Hand and pulls us out to safety in Him. Our Lord is so good to us in the many ways He lifts us up from the mire, through a word of encouragement from a friend, a message in a homily or spiritual direction, or even on Catholic tv or spiritual reading, and similar means. Keep hope in your heart and keep faith that the sun holds in existence no matter the clouds, storms, or night. Nothing can extinguish the Light of God in our hearts if we stay strong.

How good Our Lord is to poor souls of priests and laity who struggle to believe in His Real Presence. Blessed Carlo Acutis has recorded countless stories of how Our Lord blessed people with a miracle of seeing His living heart, blood, and other miracles in the Eucharist. Blessed greater are those who believe without seeing, but the Lord is compassionate on those struggling, and He has saved countless priests from abandoning their calling. He wants none of us to be lost. Always confide your heart in Him.

For overcoming our struggles, He gives us all the tools we need in the 14 Rules of St. Ignatius’ Discernment of Spirits, such as renouncing the lie, affirming the truth, acts of faith and hope, fighting (6), making no commitment changes (5), patient endurance (8), trust (11), acting promptly (12), tell the spiritual director or someone knowledgeable of the enemy’s designs. (13), etc. Just recognizing I’m in desolation and taking to rule 13 are my biggest game changers. I can’t count the number of times it’s blown up the attack and set me on level ground to resist or be free.

All throughout St. Faustina’s Diary of Mercy is the admonition to trust. Our Lord teaches that trust alone draws down all His graces to the soul. (Diary 1578). He makes Himself dependent on our trust. I see it as that image of my hand gripping the Lord’s hand. If we are clasped firmly to the Lord in trust, we will be open and follow the Lord’s plans and miracles for our lives. It will be made possible because we trust. Our Lord tries to give, but our fist is closed if we lack trust.

With every exercise of our will against desolation and trials of trust, we are built up in strength, and we will be prepared for our final battle when our soul leaves our body. Our soul needs to be tightly clinging to our Lord to be carried into paradise with Him. Trust is the force that adheres us to the Spirit of God. We will have nothing else but our trust to hold us to Him. As the saint says, “[No one] was ever lost because his sin was too great but because his trust was too small.” (St. Francis Xavier Seelos). It is no wonder why He is so insistent on trust in His message to the world through St. Faustina. We only need open ajar the door of our hearts in trust for the Lord to swoop in and carry us.

Faith says, “yes, I believe even when it’s all dark and I can’t see or understand.”

Faith says, “yes, I believe even though this hurts so bad, and I’m scared.”

Faith says, “you don’t ask me to understand, only to accept.”

Faith says, “I’m with You no matter what.”

Faith says, “I know what You suffered for me, I know Your love, and I will carry this cross with You.”

Faith says, “I know You are bringing good out of all this and I offer it all to You.”

Faith says, “even though I’m still weak in my walk, You will help me through this. Together we can do all things.”

Friends, let us strive hard to build up our faith and trust while we still have breath. Look to the Saints and holy people. Trusting souls will draw down immense graces and blessings on ourselves and those in our lives. Trust opens up the sky to let a shower of graces rain down on us, watering our souls. How beautiful is the soul who trusts. May your soul be a glowing diamond in the Lord’s Hands.

Lord, help us strive to trust You with

all our minds, hearts, souls, and strength.

You are our hope, our life, and our fulfillment of all desires.

Peace.

Image: (License) istockphoto – Kevron200

🙏 Writing for the Lord is one of my greatest joys, and I dedicate much of my time and energy to this ministry. If these reflections have encouraged your faith, I would be deeply grateful for your support. As a disabled consecrated woman, your paid subscription helps provide for my daily needs while enabling me to continue this writing ministry and share the beauty of the Catholic faith. Thank you for your kindness and generosity. God bless you. 🙏

Used with permission www.AdoreHim.com

(C) 2018-26 Lindsey Grace Mariella

1

“Perverse and foolish oft I strayed

But yet in Love He sought me,

And on His shoulder gently laid,

And home, rejoicing, brought me.

I nothing lack if I am His,

And He is mine forever.”

(The King of Love hymn, Public Domain)

For you, child of God –

From the moment He conceived you in His mind, His heart, and called you into existence, He has never ceased watching you and inviting you to discover Him in countless ways and receive Him in relationship. In the mountains, in the valleys – His eyes were always on you. He is that Shepherd, just up yonder in the fields, gazing at you with the intensity of a heart burning with Divine Love. Always looking for a way into your heart, a way to win your heart for Him. Some hearts need to descend to the abyss of emptiness and surrender before the light of God can penetrate, before His voice reaches their ears. Falling and seeing nothing to catch us, if we call out, we find His arms outstretched for us.

This truth is enough to flood one’s heart with love, joy and grateful affection for a God whose love is so constant, so perfect, and never turns away from our falls or our outright nailing Him to the Cross of mercy.

Consider, dear beloved of the Father, how the mere glimpse of you in His mind filled Him with so much wanting and desire for you, that He could not resist creating YOU. However you came into the world makes no difference, for your Father is GOD, the Creator of the universe and all life within it.

Feel the embrace of your Father and immerse yourself in the reality of your belonging, your likeness, your image, He who is holding you, night and day. He gives you breath, He orchestrates your cells in the dance of life, He holds you in existence – because you are the joy and love of His life. If you were the only child He created, He would have sent His Son to die for you – you alone. You are the treasure of His heart and He adores watching your steps toward Him, day by day. A mere glance or sigh of love is enough to move His heart. He longs to give Himself completely to you as you gradually grow in unity and your soul comes closer and closer to seeing Him face to face and beholding how compassionate and tremendous is the Love in His Divine Heart for YOU.

“The Lord gazed into the deepest part of my soul with such tenderness and mercy that the joy of it felt almost unbearable.” (Paraphrase St Faustina)

“Oh, if the suffering soul only realized how deeply God loves it, it would be overwhelmed with joy and almost unable to contain such happiness.” (Paraphrase St Faustina)

🙏 Writing for the Lord is one of my greatest joys, and I dedicate much of my time and energy to this ministry. If these reflections have encouraged your faith, I would be deeply grateful for your support. As a disabled consecrated woman, your paid subscription helps provide for my daily needs while enabling me to continue this writing ministry and share the beauty of the Catholic faith. Thank you for your kindness and generosity. God bless you. 🙏

Used with permission www.AdoreHim.com

(C) 2018-26 Lindsey Grace Mariella