My favorite Dolly story was her founding of the Imagination Library, which has sent over 200 million free books to children.

The book nerd in me bows to her.

I’m definitely more intimate with my book recommendations, but I find great pleasure in selecting books for my clients.

I’ve seen the right book at the right time help someone shift out of a scarcity mindset, and another help someone get over people-pleasing.

So in homage to Dolly Parton, here are two books.

One is for men, the other for women, and yet I ignore these labels entirely, on purpose.

There is something deliciously nosy about reading the other team’s manual, but that’s anecdotal.

What’s fascinating about both books is how they address the relationship with power, almost mirroring each other.

So why not expand our perspectives since we hold both polarities within us?

Surely if you work in a traditional, hierarchical company and sometimes feel like the rules were written by someone who wasn’t thinking of you, you’ll want to read both.

The first is a philosophy book dressed as a men’s manual. It is about purpose. Not the Sinek kind that will inspire 15 min of strategic thinking, but the kind that will jolt you awake to your real life.

It blends discipline and freedom so you stop pitching one against the other.

It will also make you better at handling conflict by being more present rather than reactive. That skill alone is worth the cover price.

The second is a precision toolkit for anyone who has ever frozen in a high-stakes moment or watched the wrong thing come out of their mouth, like a meek “sure” when your brain shouts NO.

Recruiting means putting people on the spot. Nicely, but still.

I look for a candidate’s edge to expose, not a lack of confidence, but how they hold attention. Beyond skills, I need candidates who can stay present during difficult questions without resorting to justifying or overexplaining. This book details this mechanism and shows you how to reverse it.

While most self-help books take one decent idea and dilute it for 250 pages, - sorry, Mel- these two do the opposite.

Dense, honest, and useful in about many different situations, like asking for a raise, sitting across from someone who talks over you, or negotiating anything, really.

I give the women’s chapters to my male clients when the stakes are high, and they face hard conversations.

I give the men’s chapters to women so their purpose supports them to navigate old-school hierarchies.

You see, the labels on the cover are merely suggestions; Dolly certainly didn’t let anyone else’s categories decide what she was allowed to be.

Think of them like dictionaries: take what you specifically need and leave the rest behind.

The titles are for my Substack subscribers. You’re going to want to know :)

Both of them, plus the exact chapters I send in each direction.

Read more

I tried.

Courses, community, and even those cringey Instagram videos where I pretend to be pointing at floating text.

Like the Sirens, the creator-economy sounded irresistible.
It soon felt like force-feeding a goose to make foie gras.

That should have been my first clue.

Last month, I stumbled upon the tiniest clothing brand in Rome. Incredible cut and fabrics. Honestly priced.

Clothes I was genuinely more excited to put on than take off.

Like many Parisiennes , I have a quiet weakness for clothes nobody else is wearing.

Not because it’s exclusive, but because it feels like you.

How in heaven did I expect to mass-sell when I am allergic to mass buying?

Funny how we try to build businesses that we’d never buy for ourselves.

Turns out, I don’t want a factory. I prefer an atelier.

Almost all my clients come through word of mouth anyway.

It spares me the sales pitch.
It spares them the sales pitch.

Someone simply says, “I think you two should meet.”

And then we find out if we’re a match.

Human to human.

Which, now that I think of it, is exactly how I buy everything that matters.

See below for this wonderful brand in Rome …

Read more

“I do fine when I speak directly with the CEO, but recruiters just don’t get me.”

I hear this a lot. And I get it, because it’s true — but not for the reason people think.

You speak well to a CEO or hiring manager because, consciously or not, you’re speaking peer-to-peer. They know your world. They can picture you in the role. The conversation flows because they understand what you do, and they’re evaluating whether they want to work with you.

Recruiters are a different audience entirely. They are not hiring managers. They don’t always know how to do your job, and they don’t need to. What they’re trained to assess is simpler and, in its way, harder: who you are, and whether your track record makes the result predictable. They’re not buying your expertise.

They’re buying the bet.

The other thing to know: a recruiter’s client is the hiring company, not you. The recruiter wins the mandate, a researcher builds the longlist, and the recruiter re-enters the picture at closing. This means the exploratory coffee you’ve been hoping for almost never happens. Not because you’re unimpressive. Because it’s not how the business works.

So you stop asking for coffee. You work a different goal: get on the list. The internal one, the one a researcher pulls when a mandate lands that sounds like you.

Getting there requires four things, in order.

1. Skip the coffee request. Just let them know you exist and that you’re available. The goal of the first message is not a call. It’s a file. Something like: “I’m actively looking. I’ve attached my resume. Feel free to reach me directly.” You’re not pitching. You’re registering.

2. Be boringly specific. “I’m exploring opportunities in the luxury space” tells a recruiter nothing they can act on. “I’m looking for a Chief Commercial Officer role at a European luxury brand, based in Paris or Milan, with a preference for hard luxury” — that, they can file. Vagueness reads as unready. Specificity reads as serious.

3. Attach your resume and your number. Yes, your number. Not a LinkedIn profile link. Not “feel free to message me here.” A phone number, so someone can call you at 6pm on a Tuesday when a search just opened.

4. Bonus: offer something back. The line that changes the register of the whole message: “Don’t hesitate to reach out if I can introduce you to someone in my network.” You’re not asking for anything. You’re opening a door.

One last thing, for when you do land a meeting: don’t arrive open-minded. Arrive decided. Recruiters place people who know what they want. Not sure what you want? That’s a coaching conversation, not a recruiter one.

The recruiter list below is for paid subscribers. It covers 45 executive search professionals across the US, Canada, and Europe, specifically focused in fashion and luxury. I’ve vetted each name, checked their current firm or independent status, and included their LinkedIn directly. Updated for 2026.

One thing I’ll say about this list: many are former colleagues and friends. They happen to also be very good at what they do, and most of them you’d want to trade coffee for cocktails.

This is not a magic address book. It’s a starting point. What you do with it depends entirely on how well you know what you want.

■ 45 Recruiters in Fashion & Luxury US & Europe— 2026 Edition

Read more

Work hard, PAY hard. One letter missing. Just like that, Play vanished.

The old equation had something nobody seems to remember: cocktail-and-chaos. Gloriously useless weekends. Pointless late nights. Not efficient. Definitely not optimized. That was the whole point.

We might look rich. We might look buffed. We’re getting seriously tedious.

And here’s what I’m not hearing anyone say out loud: we’ve optimized our way out of it. Now we’re spending four figures trying to engineer back what our Oura ring can’t measure. The feeling that a bad house party produced for nothing on a random Tuesday.

The only reason I still have Instagram is to find proof that weird hobbies exist. The woman who dances with her dog. The one who juggles baseball bats like a queen. Slackliner Davis Hermes. People who found something that keeps them in play.

Guess there is only one way back.

I’ll see you in improv class. Competitive stand-up if you’re serious.

When we meet, I’ll definitely want to know what play looks like for you.
And how you measure it

.

Come Out of Tune, Leave Humming.

Tune up

I tune my piano twice a year.
But like pianos, we all get out of tune.
Stay there long enough and you start resonating with the lower frequencies. Fear. Worry.

Instead of making music, it’s just noise.

The tuner

The person I go to for my tune-ups is Terry Johnson. A coach who moves from the strategic to the spiritual without missing a beat. If you’ve been white-knuckling through life with everything sealed tight, Terry is the person who gently gets that bottle open, providing that sigh of relief.

With each session, I reconnect with my smartest, safest, and sweetest self. So I asked him if I could share that experience with you. He said yes.
We’ll be live together on zoom, April 23rd, Invitation below.

The ripple effect

The result? I no longer rush in with a solution to soothe someone else’s problems. I don’t plan my next sentence or next move.

The more tuned up I am, the more alive I am. It feels like having access to my own well at all times. Like Evian on tap. He allowed me to feel secure doing less and receiving more. Call it serenity, abundance, or magic. All three are valid.

I stopped taking the bait.

Don’t feed the beast

Rage bait is real. Real enough to make it into the Oxford dictionary. It is any content designed to provoke anger, so someone else gets clicks. But rage bait isn’t just online. It’s every provocative comment thrown in to jolt you into reacting.

Problem. Reaction. Reactive solution. Closed loop, which keeps us in a state of conflict, and, for sure, out of balance.

My nonsense was better than yours. Or so I thought.

What’s actually at stake

Not our opinions or values. It’s our nervous system. Because a regulated and reliable nervous system is gold when the world is on fire.

Thanks to my work with Terry, I feel my higher self responding, quietly refusing to feed another’s attention.

Join Terry and me on April 23rd for a live conversation on Zoom where I’ll ask him everything about finding your own well and learning to drink from it.

Here is the link for registration. 6:30 pm EST April 23.

So thrilled for you all to meet my coach,

Agathe

P.S. Think of April 23rd as a tune-up for your nervous system. One hour. Come out of tune, leave humming.

P.P.S. The replay will be sent to all registered participants the next day. See you soon!

I had a case of coachpartum.

Like postpartum, but for coaches. An overwhelming sense of “is this it?”

Everything was fine, clients were happy, but I felt stagnant. I couldn’t even write a newsletter.

I waited, tried to refocus. Three months in and nothing. My stoicism has a limit. Turns out it’s 90 days.

So I followed my French instinct: I poured a glass of wine, and I googled.

The Etymology I Didn’t Expect

Do you know where the word ‘coach’ comes from?

I did not.

Turns out, it originates from the 15th-century Hungarian village of Kocs (pronounced “koch”), located between Vienna and Budapest. The town became renowned for its horse-drawn carriages, specifically the kocsi szekér (“wagon of Kocs”).

Carriage makers in Kocs developed a new type of steel-spring suspension that made travel faster and more comfortable than anything else on the road. Revolutionary stuff for the 1400s.

The term traveled across languages - kutsche, coche - and landed in English as “coach.” By 1830, Oxford students were using it as slang for tutors who carried them through exams. Athletes borrowed it by the 1860s.

I realized that, technically, my job is to be the carriage that gets people to their destination faster. So I’m kind of Uber but for goals.

That’s a reframe. One sip to get it down.

Uber works great for anyone who knows where they’re going. Same thing, a coach helps you get to your destination faster. You hit the goal, feel great, and pick the next goal. It works.

But when you’re unsure of the direction and just feel lost... that’s a whole different story.

There is a great interview of David Whyte, where he talks about that lost feeling : “How do you know you’re on your path? Because it disappears. That’s how you know.”

As a nonlinear thinker, monotony drains me. Even with faster horses, once I’ve taken 10 times the same road, I’m ready to shake things up. My clients will recognize this. My exes certainly do.

But maybe I was wrong. Maybe my attention span isn’t short; maybe the path was disappearing, so I could find my own. Which I did.

A sip to celebrate!

So the familiar path disappears because it was the communal path where we learn to walk. At some point, it disappears because we’ve graduated and can now walk your own path. Yes, we can sip!

Upgrades need a different kind of coach.

In retrospect, I see the pattern: when I know I’m reaching a plateau, it means a new path is coming.

When my employer closed shop, I had to find a new path, so I started my recruiting company. That was an upgrade; I became the employer. The burnout was another one. It set me on the path to coaching. I became certified and built meaningful relationships. Then came the newsletter: Nothing like a blank sheet of paper every week to structure my thoughts, connect me to joy and readers on the writing path.

Toast to all these upgrades.

But upgrades profoundly challenge our identity and stir the deepest resistance. Coaching rarely addresses this kind of transformation that requires skill with surrendering; or maybe just having experienced the disappearance of a path, the loss of direction, and the deep discomfort that comes up from being in that no-clue zone.

The Wave of Partums.

In fact, there’s a wave of all sorts of partums these days: corpartum for executives tired of corporate drearyness; AI-partum for jobs that might vanish; and, in my field, luxepartum from the luxury industry squeezing heritage brands and their customers.

Now, this is really good news! Because it means many new individual paths will appear. Some clients have gone from Big Tech to entrepreneurship, while others have gone from fashion to travel. The second piece of super good news is that once you’ve gone through an upgrade, the following ones come much more smoothly.

Eventually, if you can sit in that no-clue zone, it becomes a space of unlimited potential, says my coach. I’m thinking cocktails!

But hey, if you’re curious to hear more, let’s ask him directly about these transitions. I’m inviting you to meet my coach, Terry Johnson and join us for a conversation on these upgrades and the possibilities they offer. He is subtle, light, genuinely funny, and refreshingly unimpressed by metrics.

Register HERE to join us Thursday April 23rd at 6:30 pm EST and ask him your own questions about the no-clue zone and upgrades. A recording will be available.

Much love, A

P.S. We are not throwing the baby out with the bathwater. The old carriages still work fine for those specific goals. More on coaching sessions here.

If Narcissism Exists, Then Antinarcissism Must Too

Sunday. Bookstore. Brain off-duty.

I love to think that books find me.

To help them, I hang out in bookstores and randomly fondle covers, or flip through pages until something happens.

So there I was, caressing a French philosopher’s essay. I’ll spare you the name since, to be honest, I didn’t actually read it, and while flipping through, a word grabbed me by the cortex: antinarcissism.

First time encountering this term. Strange, and from there, I did what any self-respecting overthinker does: I spiraled.

Let’s Start With What We Know

We all know the definition of narcissism = excessive interest in or admiration of oneself.

No research needed here because narcissists do one thing very well: they take up space. Turn on the news or scroll through any social media platform. Examples abound.

Now For The Plot Twist

The philosopher (fine, it’s Hélène Cixous) describes antinarcissism as loving yourself only through the lens of what patriarchal society values—measuring your worth by someone else’s impossible standards rather than your actual self.

Wait, what… You can have an excessive interest in your perceived lack?

Obsessively cataloging what’s missing.

Keeping a mental spreadsheet of “not enough.”

Ooh, did it feel uncannily familiar.

Move over, narcissists—there’s a new kid in town. Your moody cousin antinarcissism just walked in and wants to tell you everything it doesn’t have.

Same Coin, Different Side

I recognized that feeling all too well from years playing the corporate game, designed by men, for men. What I had not realized is that both narcissism and antinarcissism are equally self-absorbed habits, just viewed from opposite perspectives.

I had been obsessed with what I was missing.

And living in New York was like pouring gasoline on fire. The city is a giant laboratory where your career and worth are measured by completely unreasonable standards.

Sinatra had a whole hit song about it. (”If I can make it there, I’ll make it anywhere” = “If I can’t make it there, I’m a total failure everywhere.” Thanks, Frank.)

What Antinarcissism Looks Like IRL

Imposter Syndrome: That ubiquitous feeling where you diminish every accomplishment. “Oh, this promotion? My boss resigned.”

Comparison Paralysis: Measuring yourself against your power girlfriends who casually discuss board seats while you’re perched on your kitchen stool.

Now it might be a new term to me, but it feels ubiquitous—and Marketing has been feeding off our antinarcissism for quite some time, scratching that itchy spot again because “you’re worth it.” And boom, I just bought another cream.
Antinarcissism is consumerism’s best fuel.

And here’s the cruel irony: antinarcissism especially spoils high achievers, you know, those who push the carrot always further and then beat themselves for never reaching it. Their nervous system never gets a break - just an endless cycle of reach, dismiss, repeat until burnout.

Now that you see it, what do we do?

Sure, alchemy is the subtle art of transforming negatives into positives.
Sounds too Instagram-motivational-quote energy?

Here’s the thing: jumping from “I’m trash” to “I’m amazing” feels like scaling Everest in flip-flops. Just the thought is exhausting and will send me sprinting back to my duvet with a family-sized bag of something inadvisable.

How about a gentler version?

What if instead of the outlandish leap to positive, we just turned down the volume on negative and landed somewhere around… meh?

Borrowing from my French homeland and their very saucy expression: “Pas mal.”

Which means: okay. Not good, not bad. Just… fine.

How do my accomplishments compare to those of my power girlfriends? Pas mal.

My imposter syndrome? Falls into the dentist-appointment category—exists, mildly uncomfortable, not worth discussing at parties.

Now, let’s not confuse neutral for avoidance, or dare I write, bypassing.

And let’s be clear: pas mal is not mediocrity.
It’s not about lowering your standards or settling for less.

Rather, allowing ourselves to tune our nervous system to a neutral state creates presence and focus, which actually yields the best results. You can’t perform at your peak when you’re either crushing yourself with criticism or exhausting yourself with false hype.

Neutral, in this specific case, becomes an active and potent technique that, in effect, starves the brain of its daily dose of drama.

Think of it as shifting your life scenario from high melodrama to a more subtle French Nouvelle Vague film.

Then watch how the world rearranges itself to follow your new script.
Deliciously nuanced.

In my dreams

Wouldn’t it be nice if the world reverted to a regular centered curve—you know, an actual statistical bell curve—rather than only existing in the extremes of “way too much” or “total unworthiness”?

Like, what happened to the glorious middle?

The vast, comfortable territory of “pretty okay”?

What if we all lowered lack’s volume a notch and met in the middle - beret on, wine in hand, counting the blessings of “pas mal”?

Nuance isn’t Instagram sexy. But honestly?

In a world driven by polarity, choosing the 50 shades of “pas mal” might be the most revolutionary act of all.

Vive la révolution!

Agathe

P.S. Think of a coaching session like a tuning session for your guitar. You can’t play well with strings too loose or too tight. Book here.

P.P.S. This insta post will help you get fluent in the nuances of “Pas Mal”

In Defense of High Expectations (Or: How I Learned to Love a Good Letdown)

I was sitting next to a woman at a party last night when she told me she was having a few drinks to manage a room full of strangers. Naturally, we began discussing people— the next natural step after the weather, I guessed.

"The way not to be disappointed," she declared with the confidence of someone who had found a fellow overthinker, "is not to have any expectations of others."

Now, in my true contrarian fashion—which has served me quite poorly, frankly—I highly disagreed. "I have very high expectations for people," I announced, probably with the sort of evangelical fervor usually reserved for door-to-door vacuum salesmen.

"Don't you get disappointed?" she asked, clearly expecting me to crumble like a French soufflé.

"All the time," I said. "But then, you know, it clears the path pretty damn quickly."

The John Overdurf Principle

John Overdurf says, "How you see any individual in your mind is the best they can ever be in your presence."

I believe this with every bone in my body—pinky finger included.

It's walking a razor line between hope, seeing the best in people, and maintaining your expectations at Eiffel Tower height.

If it's a match, then congratulations! You've found yourself a relationship made in heaven, complete with harps and the sort of cosmic alignment found in a weekly astrology report.

If it doesn't match? Even better. More time for you, fewer distractions, and a brilliant elimination system, really. Like natural selection, but for your social calendar.

The Universal Application Theory

This principle, I've realized, applies to everything: places, hobbies, that new restaurant that everyone swears makes life-changing pizza but serves you something that tastes like cardboard.

By holding your standards high, everything parts into "worth your energy" and "thank you for the discernment practice."

Embracing the Beautiful Disaster of Endings

But here's the thing I've treasured most about this high-expectations lifestyle: I'm making peace with endings.

I'm okay with things not working out, with the gentle (even painful at times) dissolution of whatever didn't quite manage to meet my idealistic standards.

The ending has stages, like grief deciding to become a life coach and serving me three uncomfortable truths:

1. The Sadness Phase: Where I mourn whatever didn't happen, like a funeral for my own optimism

2. The Letting Go of Accusations: Where I stop mentally composing the strongly-worded letter I'll never send

3. The Release of Idealism: Where I bid farewell to my fantasy and return to reality like a tourist back from vacation
   

Reality: The Ultimate Cold Shower

These endings force me to face reality like a cold shower. And I'm grateful for it—mostly. Well, I did some kicking and screaming, but I'm much better now at doing it in private, like a civilized person having a perfectly reasonable breakdown in their own bathroom.

The Cosmic Recycling Program

But here's what I've learned to celebrate: every ending is a cosmic recycling program where something disappears and the energy comes flooding back to you like a universe-issued refund check.

The energy I tied up in my habit of showering people with my unasked-for puppy energy? Yes, Over-Overdurfing is a thing!

It gets liberated and returns to you, ready to be invested in meeting your own high standards instead of projecting them onto others.

Suddenly, you have all this beautiful, free energy to invest in something actually worthwhile—like practicing your Italian conjugations.

In Conclusion

So here's to endings: the great liberators, the brutal teachers, the cosmic housekeepers who sweep away what wasn't working to make room for what might.

May your expectations remain gloriously high, and may your endings be swift, clean, and wonderfully illuminating.

Agathe

P.S. - The woman at the party and I both spent the rest of the evening being mildly disappointed anyway. Sometimes being right feels almost as good as being happy.

P.P.S. - If you'd like support practicing redirecting your expectations inward and becoming delightfully comfortable with external disappointment (because that's a road to high performance), book a coaching session. Nothing says "professional development" like learning to get out of the crab bucket experiment with grace.

Hey there,

Is it only me, or does it feel like the world is asking us to change everything, all at once?

Pushing us to optimize our sleep, our morning routine, and, if you'll let it, even our life principles.

Just thinking about it is exhausting - and the single reason my friends throw their Aura rings!

There is no more room for unsupervised, unproductive, or even silly things.

The truth is, after years in the coaching space, most people don't need a complete life makeover.

We often want to give the kitchen a new color, yet coaches mostly sell you a full-house renovation. ,

Introducing: "Coaching Light"

All the insight, none of the overwhelm.

In my quest for the best mind-bending methods, I came across one that felt like a unicorn.

It's hard to explain without sounding like every other coach promising miracles.

The reason I certified is because instead of trying to fix, change, or overcome whatever's bothering you, we "harmonize" with the root issue.

Perhaps the coolest part is that the body keeps the score. Either it creates a stress or it doesn't.
No need for the story about what, why, or how it happened.
We looks for the root cause and once found, we bring full awareness to it.

I know, I know. Sounds very woo-woo.

Except it works in the most pragmatic way imaginable.

So, no year-long full-house remodeling; instead, we can target a specific issue, like the kitchen cabinets.

Coaching Light is for when you:

- Have ONE specific challenge that you no longer want to think of

- Want to tackle it without committing to months of work

- Do NOT want to talk through your issues

- If it ain't broken, dont fix it mindset

How It Works?

One session. One issue. Real results.

You come with something concrete that's actually happening in your life right now. Maybe it's:

- "I can't have that salary increase conversation with my boss."

- "I keep procrastinating on reaching out to former colleagues."

- "I'm stuck between two career paths and can't decide."

In an hour, we'll get to the root of that one specific issue and bring conscious realization until it no longer causes you stress.

The Best Part...

No talk therapy - yeah!
No homework.
No follow-up required.

No pressure, no program to complete and no transformation journey to sign up for.

Take what serves you, leave what doesn't.
Come back when you have another specific challenge, or don't.

Some of my client's most profound breakthroughs have happened in single sessions.

Sometimes all we need is to tackle that one small stress with someone who holds space for our own wisdom to emerge.

Not Everyone Needs This (And That's Perfectly Fine)

You may be in a season where change feels impossible.

You may be managing enough already - fyi coaching & small kids at home do not mix well.
Maybe the idea of any kind of coaching makes you roll your eyes.

All of this is entirely valid.

The invitation is here when you're ready for it.
Growth doesn't have an expiration date.

So, if you have that one nagging thing you'd like to address, and 60 minutes feels manageable, I'd love to help.

Think of it as coaching for people who are coachskeptic.
The light version is practical, focused, and refreshingly commitment-free.

Ready to try Coaching Light?
Book your single session here

With infinite appreciation for reading so far :)

Agathe

P.S. - I'm not promising this will solve everything. I'm saying it will dis-solve the charge around the one specific thing that's making you cringe right now.

P.P.S. - Unsupervised, unproductive and silly stuff from my July 4th.

2024 was the year I decided to make a bold move and take my hands off the wheel for all work decisions. Think of it as professional improv - no script, no agenda, just pure professional chaos.

After 3 years of manifestations focused on goals, I wanted to see what would happen if I didn't do anything.

Because I was fatigued, my fascination with the Taoist concept of Wu Wei (aka effortless action) felt timely. Could I play with Zen & the art of career?

So, in Jan 2024, I dropped all goals and committed to only responding to what came my way and testing my "zero gravity" theory.

Cue dramatic music: I said goodbye to revenue tracking, agenda optimization, and bonjour to unplanning panics and budget dizziness.

I quickly realized that my faith, more than my finances, was tested, so I kept a Post-it nearby with Rumi's quote: "The universe is rigged in your favor".

The biggest hurdle was to get past the thought of tracking my progress; I had tracked everything, all the time, all my life - from grades to pieces of chocolate to even using an app to track my app checking.

If I stopped measuring, how would I know where I was?

If I gave up participating in the ultimate NYC compare game, would anyone want to play with me if I was not quantifiable?

By March, I was a mess.
I had missed reading the warning sign, "Please don't try this at home," so I reached out to a coach skilled at soul journeys for the professionally lost.

Some days, I felt I had a foot in a space where being a human was enough, like playing hooky and feeling part guilty, part giddy.

Others, like Alice in Wonderland, I felt trapped in an inescapable system of hustle nonsense.

I realized I had become a human doing, and this little experiment was asking me to reshape my way of being.

It's still going on, and yet I started tasting a level of lightness and some incredible synchronicities as if celestial beings now participated in rearranging my work with unexpected opportunities and aligned clients.

I feel ridiculous to have taken a year to detox from doing and measuring.

Yet, I am infinitely grateful for this 2024 endeavor, for it was the year I allowed myself to trust the universe. Had I known it does a much better job at it than me, I would have saved a lot of energy!

Wishing you happy holidays!

May 2025 be the year of ease for us all - starting with putting all my crazy ideas to rest :)

Cheers!

A

PS: Universe's career management services are now open. Rates: One leap of faith, minimum commitment required.

We had twenty years of magic, mayhem, and memorable moments; what a journey it has been. 

Thank you for letting me recruit the creme de la creme of talent for your most coveted and shiniest brands.

Their allure, like honey, attracted the most intelligent and busiest bees. 

I treasure every character in this story:  

The passionate perfectionists whose conviction in their craft sometimes reached cosmic proportions - after all, they were part of writing new chapters in 200-year-old legacies. 

They were devoted guardians who preserved traditions with quiet pride, knowing they were part of something greater than themselves.  

And the wide-eyed enthusiasts who roam through fashion-like candy stores. 

You were - are - an industry of dreams. Where creativity flowed with craftsmanship, and every season brought new possibilities. 

Yet something shifted when the fairytales began featuring more dollar signs than emotions.  

The rush for more - more products, more profits, more pressure - changed the rhythm of our dance.  

Is it normal for Italian factories to run 24/7 to chase margins at all costs? 

Or CEOs admitting to excessive price increases? 

Season after season, a new story tainted the taste of luxury. 

It isn't a tale of villains - just the story of another industry whose numbers grew faster than its humanity could adapt.   

My heart has a soft spot for those who work to bring luxury to life - from the craftspeople walking the tightrope between demand and desire to the leaders juggling art and teams while racing on performance treadmills.   

Yet, the last time I searched for talent, I found myself reading out loud the fine print about the realities of burnout: "We're not just looking for skills. You'll need the resilience and mental game of an Olympic athlete. The role demands both virtuosity and endurance.” 

Sustainability starts with the people. 

Finding coaching allowed me to discover that excellence doesn't require exhaustion and creativity flows better from more joy than pressure.  

So let us imagine a future for the luxury industry where together we keep the rigeur of the craft and bring back the playfulness to our community. 

Are you game?

Agathe Lerolle

Learning not to compromise my soul has been my biggest achievement.

Doing it gracefully is still a work in progress that I hope to master before we colonize Mars.

If I had a dollar for every feather I've ruffled, I'd have a Birkin bag in every color by now.

But that's what working in luxury will teach you: the less you compromise, the higher you fly. 

And from up there, it's *"Really spectacular... worth the price of the trip." as Neil Armstrong said,

It takes practice and a sound support system, but your values become more precise and resilient with time. Eventually, they stand the test of time, and you become anti-fragile in the process -def a superpower these days. 

The world is changing at the speed of light; thanks, Claude.ai!

Calling Houston to say we have a problem is so last century, and holding on to the old will keep you stuck in that time capsule.

The no-compromise approach pays off. I am at my best and do my best work when I am in flow and my values are respected.  

Yeah, it might look eccentric to some. But times are changing, and we are changing so it makes sense to give our boundaries a makeover. Think of it as an upgrade of your North Star!

I've worked for many luxury groups, and I can attest that Mr. Arnault didn't become the wealthiest man in the world by being generous with his yes'. Sometimes, the most luxurious word in your vocabulary is "No."

Bring the luxury within: invest in yourself, get a coach to become comfortable saying and hearing "no", and create that ritzy new story your future career is so ready for!

Dare to listen to your soul when she whispers to you.  

Your heart will sing, and your future self will thank you.

My soul's sending you infinite love and gratitude for taking the time to read her two cents. 

May the Force be with you!

I remember setting my first timeout. 

Those few minutes to figure out what to do next were as beneficial for me as for my kids. 

Turns out, timeouts aren't just for toddlers throwing tantrums:

Traders get a mandatory 2 consecutive weeks of timeout, too.

The New York Department of Finances imposes it to prevent fraud. 

They say: 'A trader who doesn't take vacation is a trader who doesn't want anyone else to look at his book.' 

Romans, two centuries ago, called it "Otium," a time off for leisure, contemplation, and academic endeavors, as opposed to "Negotium," which meant active public life.

Now, I regularly give myself timeouts. 

I just call them differently: breaks, vacations, etc.

When I feel the heat at the edge of burnout, I immediately plan a space to pause optimization, cool down, turn off screens, and non-stop-doing. 

I remember the pride of juggling work, life, and health. 

TBH, New Yorkers would be on the podium if hustling was an Olympic discipline.

Burnouts happen when the brain wants yet another accomplishment.

We think we can negotiate with ourselves, but have you tried to deal with a toddler high on sugar?

The only thing that worked for me was a self-imposed timeout to face my need for external validation and my not-enoughness.

Timeouts are also a fantastic time to recharge our batteries.

In fact, some luxury companies' cultures are like the Hunger Games, so when I interview candidates, I first check their mindsets. 

The Work Hard, Play Hard is no longer sustainable.

All the pros have gone hybrid and prioritize self-care. 

Inspired, I tweaked my summer program to refuel my physical, emotional, and mental batteries with:

1- Big Nature

I thought I was in shape because my NY routine includes runs, yoga, and lifting weights. Getting out of the gym and into nature is humbling; it seems mountains don't have an off-switch like treadmills!

2- Forgiveness

To erase the buildup of a semester of micro resentments and words I wish I hadn't said, my go-to is the super simple and magical Ho'ponopono practice. It does wonders for relationships with the self and others.

3- Imagination

Finally, I starve my hyperactive left brain and give my right brain an all-you-can-eat buffet. 

I ditch Netflix's entertainment numbing and turn on my imagination with flying carpet books - the kind that makes your mind soar to other worlds faster than any business class ticket. This summer's list includes Shibumi, Midnight Library, and Shantaram. 

Flirting with burnout is like social smoking, démodé! 

Wishing you a rejuvenating summer. 

I'm taking you into zero gravity this Fall.

ILG 
A

Welcome to this week's 'Flavor of the Month' newsletter! 

Fasten your seatbelts—we're about to take a rollercoaster ride through the world of personal growth, as seen through my kids' brutally honest eyes!

That's the thing: when you ask your gang for their unabridged feedback, be ready to hear the truth :) 

I got a spoon full of humility and a whole lot of laughter.

"Mom, you're too "flavor of the month," always sharing new coaching practices. 

Last week, it was about manifesting from the Now. 

The month before... well, I can't even remember. 

Just look at your newsletter! 

I wouldn't have a problem with them; there's actually good stuff, but the way you present them is very telemarketer- like they are going to cure all my ailments. 

"This tool will cover all your needs: your floor, wood boards, and carpet!"

If I do this one thing, I will be a beast - set for life. 

Then you throw a new thing a week later. 

My thoughts were: 

1- Ouch, I felt the burn "mindfulness flavor of the month telemarketer!!" 

It makes me wonder if I've been confusing everyone with this newsletter. 

2- Those closest to us definitely know us better than we give them credit for. My son's sharp and candid words made me feel exposed, like in the tale of the 

3- does it mean my son reads my newsletters?!?! Maybe I could end them with a PS: Call your mom!

Maybe my true calling is to be a Coach DJ – always mixing up the latest awareness tracks.

If so, it's time to make a Top 10 compilation. 

Let me know if your favorite flavor is Choco Doubt, Lemon Improvement, or Mango Manifestation. 

And feel free to send me your best roasts. 

Nothing connects faster than a laugh.  

BTW, US Presidents get their annual roasting at the White House correspondent dinner, but if you want a masterclass in how to take the burn and fire back with grace (something I'm clearly still learning), Martha Stewart roasts are a must-watch. 

Maybe I'll invite her to my next family dinner – I could use some pro-tips on comeback lines!

Much love,

A

Was last week intense for you, too? 

Between debates, the European elections, and personal stuff, I felt like in the middle of a bag of corn being popped!

I'm pretty good at embracing the change that I planned. 

But it's a very different story when change catapults me into the unknown!

Over the years, I tested many ways to welcome change; here are my favorite techniques:

• The Ostrich—head in the sand; not right now! If you're okay dealing with a more giant snowball later, this strategy works phenomenally.
  
  

• The Rose-tinted Glasses—looking through the eyes of Little Miss Happy. It's fantastic to shift from a half-empty to a half-full mindset, but it's highly frustrating if you want an overflowing glass. 
  
  

• The Bring it on—Ultimate Will required. It's a fast and efficient method, but also energy-consuming and hard to sustain long-term.

Then there's my friend V's JOY Galore technique.

Despite some very challenging health experiences, her energy and outlook on life are always hanging out in the penthouse.

She's impressive to watch: like a Joy Ninja. Her laugh is so loud, it got her kicked out of a comedy club (#lifegoals).

So last week, when I stumbled upon this article on belly laugh I was like, Eureka!

Tapping into joy is the most straightforward way to increase your vibration and serotonin levels!

I know vibration can sound woo-woo, but energy is how we manifest /create the life we want. 

Because we don't get what we want, we get who we are. 

Ask Pharrell, a manifestation champ, who flew in a choral to sing Joy (Unspeakable) at his first LV show.

So, with V as my joy muse, I created a Joy Kit to help me practice the Joy Galore technique. 

Forget Band-Aids and space blankets; I gathered my favorite humorists and upbeat songs.
I hate to admit how it feels like basic emotional hygiene. 

But V's superpower is her belly laughs.
According to the Mayo Clinic, it is also the most potent medicine to increase your endorphins.

While hearing others laugh is highly contagious, I was told listening to your own laughter is even better because the brain believes it's you!

So I did!
And yes, listening to myself was so beyond ridiculous, it made me chuckle fast - the perfect antidote to my Little Miss Serious! 

I urge you to give it a try this weekend!
Record yourself laughing out loud and listen back when you brush your teeth; your mornings will never be the same!
Bonus points for making it your ringtone!

Here's a few things I added to my JOY Emergency Kit: 

1. Laughter recording - see below- and I will also ask for one from V.

2. Playlist of upbeat songs - this Brazilian one works wonders for me! 

3. A list of favorite comedies like Long Shot is a great start!

If all else fails, read David Seders!

Grin away, it's a short week!
A

I'm barely exaggerating but it just did for me!

I saw this cartoon on Monday and promptly decided to stop thinking when I didn't have to. 

I can hear my son from Boston, calling me out: "Hmm mom take it down a notch, you're not an engineer."

True I am no rocket scientist, but it didn't stop me from being the Sue Ellen of overthinking. 

As long as I can remember, I've been trying to untangle the world and understand what move humans.

Attending 6 schools in 3 countries before 12 gave me good exposure to many different cultures and yet it puzzled me that whatever the language, we have an uncanny ability to say things yet mean or even act the opposite way.  

Anyway, coaching gave me the keys to how to realign thoughts, feelings, and actions. I felt like the daughter of Sherlock Holmes and Agatha Christy. I could read through people's reactions. 

But it didn't stop my overthinking: I continued to single-handedly try solving the human mystery with my little neurons!

The only thing I discovered was that no matter the subject, overthinking is exhausting and actually counter-productive. 

So I applied Calvin's method and decided to stop thinking unless needed.

And yesterday, the clouds parted... I was able to observe a thought without it being followed by another thought, judgment, or story.

For a split-second, the thought was suspended in mid-brain - I won't lie; it was shorter than a MetroCard swipe!

I felt like I didn't need to feed the thought.
What a relief!. Finally, space for things to just be as they are.
I could drop the Rubik's cube once in a while.
It's not silly, au contraire, it's liberating.

Overthinkers, I invite you to join me in taking a summer break. 
Let us think only when required, not a thought more!

Have a pretty afternoon!

Agate

I missed you! 

Last week's newsletter felt so dull I almost broke my jaw, yawning! 

I deleted it. 

And the next one I painfully wrote vanished from my computer!

What was happening to me? 

Suddenly, I was reaching coaching saturation, and even my own "fresh-pesrpectives-with-pretty-bows" newsletters felt off, like high heels at the beach. 

Either the game's rules had changed, or I had lost all interest in playing. 

I'm guessing a bit of both. 

By the way, realizing you sound like a broken record takes embarrassment to new stratospheric heights. 

But because many of us are experiencing collective "aha moments," I call this trend the Big Reset Wave. 

All around me, I hear examples of sudden shifts. 

One person quit after years of working with an excessive CEO and gifted herself a 3-month sabbatical summer.

One client courted by a less-than-diverse startup is negotiating a C-suite title to be able to implement change.

Something they had managed well for years suddenly became intolerable. 

To spot the Big Reset Wave, know that: 

1- it comes "out of the blue" to a situation you thought you had adjusted to. 

2- it allows you to realign with your inner compass. 

3- it provides relief and space for unexplored solutions. 

For those of us weary of the linear, top-down, one-size-fits-all culture or stuffed like geese by zero-calorie consumerism, it feels like getting rid of a corset and breathing to our full capacity. 

The only advice I received was to stay away from cookie-cutter advice.

The Big Reset Wave's motto is "You do you," which means everyone gets a chance to tune into their unique frequency. 

My friends who surf all say catching a big wave is exhilarating! 

Hit reply to let me know if this resonates with you, I'm curious!

See you out there

Aloha! 

Agate 

PS If you can't sleep at night, feel free to binge on old newsletters :)

Coaching can raise a career from the dead (countless clients found jobs after deep career fogs,) but it can also leave some empty with bad side effects <-click and laugh!

Especially for perfectionists!

When I started coaching, I was surprised to notice that people new to the practice achieved faster results than those familiar with it.

Newbies jumped into the process with comfort, eagerness, and freedom.

I assumed it was the beginner's brain because they didn't know what to expect. Like jumping off a plane, stats show less than 2% will ever jump a second time. 

And simultaneously, I noticed that seasoned clients were controlling and resistant to change. One client would send me the specific agenda the day before our sessions which eventually became a joke between us.

Because the contradictions were so fascinating, you know me, I had to investigate.

So, I looked at my "pro coachees" -one even had a coaching certification herself!

The first noticeable difference was that they came to coaching with a laser-sharp goals they wanted to achieve.

Clarity is good, beats fog brain! 

However, they also tried to control every step of the process and were not only specific about how they wanted their results to show up (like I need to find a job through a recruiter!).

That's when I realized they were after "Perfect Coaching"!

And, perfection energy dampens outcomes big time. 

So, if you are prone to perfectionism, here are three traits to watch for: 

1- Having idealized goals. 

Idealized goals are easy to spot: they are "plain vanilla classic goals everybody wants." 

You know, the formulaic ones: nice company, good salary, purpose, of course, and a white picket fence all around it. 

Goals so polished, they lack spice and sound almost Chat GPTesque.

If your goal isn't a little crazy and doesn't lit you up from the inside, it's an idealized one. 

2- Overfocusing on flaws. 

Perfectionists are smart: they know what they don't know. 

They are acutely aware of their imperfections and work hard to eradicate them. Like Achille, they forget their superpowers and focus on their wound. 

So, if not careful, coaching will trap perfectionists in a never-ending self-improvement loop that is hard to escape. Trust me, still working on it!

3- Love External validity 

They are attracted by "experts" that can help them achieve high standards. And will only partially own their results because they credit them to those external teachers. 

And you know the "power of compound" effect; in teh long run, it slowly erodes their inner confidence.

So what can a straight-A mindset that is eager to excel but doesn't want to feel empty after coaching do?

Work with high integrity coaches who value sovereignty.

You'll have to tune up your ears and be open to hearing a different tune than the one promising you big fat and fast results. 

Also ask coacheshow they handled their own control freak instincts; takes one to know one!

Coaching is all about regaining authority and feeling IN control (vs controlling the external which is imppossible hence exhausting).

BTW, if you give the external more authority than your internal, you are at risk of burnout. 

Do you know the Pareto Principle?

Zero gravity starts when you reach 80% internal and 20% external validation. 

That's also when reality realigns around you drastically. 

"Perfection is just fear in high heels and a mink coat, pretending to be fancy." wrote Elisabeth Gilbert

So if you find a typo above or see me in Birkenstocks, you'll know I'm taming my fears.

Outerspace is awaiting!

Happy Friyay!

Agate

STUFF: 

• I invite you to move with me and subscribe to this newsletter on Substack where you can even invite that weird friend whose soul is a little burned-out.  
  
  Also, I will be randomly sharing short stuff like the books I've read and LOVED. And samples of my own Zero Gravity work. 
  

• I was a guest of  Dana Innouye's podcats Rewild your life. It felt like speaking with your favorite wild friend who can get the deep personal stories we carry inside! So fun. 

The only way to make a man do something is to make him think it was his idea.

Every woman has heard this phrase at least once. 

Like in the movie Inception, the process involves planting an idea in the subconscious mind until, tada!, the protagonist believes it was their idea.

I don't know if it works because, being impatient AF, I never could wait long enough for a man's eyes to light up with that "I discovered fire" glow. 

Anyway, the days of manipulating men are over.

Truth is we manipulate ourselves in the exact same way.

Progress, right?

Mainly with positive suggestions but also with plenty of poor ideas, too! 

Let's say you are looking for a new job, you get your resume ready to be sent, and you go online and see that your dream company has let go of x number of employees. Right there, you'll think:   

"Nobody's hiring. I'm not sending my resume, anyway it's shitty, and I'm not good enough."

You just validated an idea you (or l teacher) planted a while ago in your brain, like: I'm not worthy, I'm beyond nulle, I might as well start a career as a professional couch potato. 

That's why I find coaching so fun. 

We go into the brain, look for the false idea planted a while ago, and replace it with one that will help us act more aligned with our desires. 

A list of desires I hear most weeks includes: 

- I'm ready to leave my job.
- I want to be more visible
- I must ask for a raise. 
- I am burnout and have to slow down.
- I want to write a book.

All commendable ideas, which my clients really really want, but when it comes to executing them, a tsunami of stuff gets in the way.

What's really in the way is a thought and, more specifically, one called fear.

F.E.A.R.: False Evidence Appearing Real.

Yes, we want to leave our current job, but more competent people than me are getting laid off. 

Of course, we wish to be more visible, but "people" don't seem to notice me.

Our raise was promised, but I believe the company can't pay me because they said they didn't make their quarter. 

We are overworked and can't even sleep at night because of the endless balls we're juggling, but who will clean the mess if one drops?

Writing a book would be so cool, but I'm not a writer, and there are already tons of great books. I mean, have you seen the size of the 'TBR' (to be read) piles people post on Instagram?

And yes. that last one's for me :) 

Fears are the obstacles we face.

The coaching game is to plant thoughts that are in coherence with your desires to override the fears so your brain wants to do it. 

And please don't try doing this alone or with your best friend at home.

In my experience, because I believed the thoughts I had initially planted in my mind, they felt real to me.
I was chasing my own tail; it looked stupid, and I ended up dizzy (to put it nicely).

As a result, I kept trying to find solutions to my excuses instead of addressing the fear. 

And our BF loves us exactly how we are, so she'll agree with me. That's why I love them!

As you become smarter, your excuses become more intricate, like a hamster on a wheel. 

Ironically, it feels like an upgrade because you skipped the dizziness!

If you have a "never give up" mindset, you might be wasting time chasing the excuses vs the fears.

My coach helps me parse through my thoughts, letting go of futile and rubbish ones. 

It's Spring, time to plant new seeds. Schedule a consultation with me, and we will explore your unique situation together, identify the false evidence keeping you stuck, and decide to plant fresh thoughts. 

By summer, you'll see your goals bloom.

If we're not the perfect match for any reason, I'll gladly refer you to a coach I've worked with in the past. 

There are many Inception magicians out there!

To full bloom!

Agate

Want more? 

• I was a guest on ‘The Career Evangelist’ Podcast with Bola Alabi where I dive into the magic of manifestation. Tune in to unlock your potential.

The challenge with smart people is that I they are painfully aware of their shortcomings and hold themselves up to idealized standards.

Those brilliant people fear letting others down and never doing enough.

One of them recently shared that she felt guilty about not having enough time for her partner. She is the only senior female in her company and is finishing her master's while also part-time advising her school pro bono on DEI.  

Another with multiple degrees in unrelated fields who successfully bridged both in a business wonders if he should have been better off as an expert in one field and feels guilty about following his passion in life.

Let's remember the Greek hero Achilles.

Achilles' was the son of a goddess and a human; as such, Achilles was born a human. 

Thetis wanting to shield her son from danger —maybe History's first helicopter mom— dipped him in the Styx river to make his whole body invincible. 

Because she held him by his heel, it didn't touch the water and stayed vulnerable.

I call my clients Achilles because, like the hero, they have super-powered problem-solving minds and a vulnerable spot. 

First, the superpowers: 

Achilles have a natural form of intelligence: either great memory, ease of understanding concepts, capacity to recognize and spot patterns, or spatial awareness. 

 Achilles' high integrity gives them a deep desire to understand and solve world problems, prioritizing others over themselves.

Achilles can be quickly bored and prone to shiny-object syndrome- they'll go down rabbit holes to feed their voracious minds. 

Now, the vulnerable spot:

It's Self-doubt. 

The type that keeps thoughts spiraling, looking back for ways for what could have been said or done better or differently. 

But when Achilles manage to see their formidable assets as a gift and practice being a little less demanding of themselves, they are simply unstoppable.

If you started doubting young, you might be an Achilles.

In fact, I know the world is filled with Achilles, human heroes and heroines ready to bring their integrity and nonlinear ideas to life. 

So let us all  create a new mythology for ourselves by embracing our innate gifts and turning down our self-doubt a notch. 

Happy Sunday, 
Agate

“Myth is much more important and true than history. History is just journalism and you know how reliable that is.”

― Joseph Campbell 

Want more? 

•  Know your love language, mine is words of affirmations and acts of service!