August is most definitely the crescendo of Summer and I’ve been waiting all year for it. My mom and I are headed to England in a few days and below I’m sharing my packing list and what I intend to wear while we walk, shop, tour, and drive all over the country.

The mood.

This is everything that inspired my packing for the English countryside, including the time-tested classics, flexible evening layers, subtle statements for the occasional nice dinner, easy dresses and comfortable Summer footwear. So far, my suitcase is looking like this:

Lots of dresses give me the ease of throwing on a single piece and feeling pulled together with minimal effort. I recently showed on Instagram how to adjust how a vacation dress feels from casual to dressy with the right accessories and focal points. I’m also packing an abundance of linen because they are my hero pieces in the Summer but are flexible to changing weather and I predict to be both warm and get sprinkled on. I’ll be sure to share how I style what I’m bringing when I get home and what I used most!

Wardrobe repeat

Surprise, surprise, another shoe! I tried the Croc sandals this Summer and ended up loving them. Lately I’ve been wearing the chocolate brown pair around the house almost daily and I can’t report a single blister even after miles of wear. They’re $45, comfortable, flexible, easy to keep clean for the same reason all crocs are and I really love the minimalist strap that looks clean with everything. They fit true to size. Linked here. DSW is having a BOGO here.

Party theme ideas and other excuses to gather

Deep down, in our loud, light-speed, virtual lives we crave the one thing time online can’t provide…genuine community. Not the social supplement of comments and messages but real and true conversation and connection. Even when I don’t necessarily feel it missing, the moments I have felt buzzed with joy recently have been leaving a get together with friends or after I opened my home to humans who laugh like it makes them rich, love having fun and enjoy one another.

This month I hosted my second of what I hope will be an annual event at my house called a flower potluck. Every guest brings a type of flower and leaves with a bouquet of what everyone brought, it’s fun and beautiful and who doesn’t love flowers?

If I’ve learned anything from my time spent hosting its that guests love a theme, it makes them invested, keep conversation flowing and draws out peoples personalities. If you or a friend love to host hangouts, here are a few niche ideas I haven’t seen many places and all are great excuses to gather.

1. Anything but a cup. Guests bring their own glass for drinks except anything but a cup. Guests may show up with pitchers, soup cans, vases, fish bowls, ziplock, etc. It’s simple, straight forward and free for people to participate. (I’ve also seen pickleball-ers use this theme to bring anything but a paddle, it gets silly quickly.)

2. Secret mission. (Works best for a large party) but every guest is given a secret mission to complete and the tasks can be as detailed as the host wants. Assignments could be…start a conga line, prevent a conga line from starting, take items of clothing from people at the party and do a load of laundry, seeker must find someone hiding except there is no hider, put items in guests pockets without their knowledge, give 2 guests the task of finding eachother with a code word, etc.

3. Bring your own craft. A cozy excuse to gather and everyone brings what they’re currently working on or a craft to start. Simple, easy connection.

4. Painting candles. More cost to this one but it’s fun for all levels. Amazon sells colored tea lights and you can light to melt the wax which is used as the “paint” guests dip their brushes into the tea lights and paint wax onto plain candlesticks.

5. Special occasion party. We all have a special occasion piece, an item we never have an excuse to wear and the party is the excuse! I’ve seen people wear their wedding dresses, favorite costumes, graduation gowns, tuxedos, expensive formal gowns etc. anything that people never wear because life hasn’t given them a reason. It’s also an easy conversation starter!

6. I showed up to the wrong event party. I love this because it’s also a silly and fun way to re-use old halloween costumes. This is for the friends who love a bit, the idea is that guests show up to the wrong house so they might be in PJs, hiking gear, funeral clothes, wedding clothes, graduation gown, ugly Christmas sweaters, swimsuits etc. and the more committed the better!

7. Book exchange. This one is self explanatory but each guest brings a wrapped book, could be either a favorite of theirs or one they haven’t read. Optionally a short synopsis could be written on the wrapping too and then a guest can either pull a name from a hat to find who’s book they take or run it “white elephant” gift exchange style including steals.

8. Diner detectives. I did this one last Fall for my birthday and asked several friends to meet me at a local diner dressed like old timey detectives complete with fake mustaches and cigarettes, and we solved a mystery together over breakfast. Target sells lots of boxed mysteries that range in difficulty levels. This one can also be done at home, lots of laughs either way. Will be doing again.

9. Air dry clay. A simple craft that can be done with a movie on or done around a table, big group or small, I like that this one is flexible. Air dry clay is easy to find and you can make SO many things with it, magnets, trays, trinkets, ornaments, etc. It’s a cheap and low risk craft to play around with and it hardens in 24 hours.

10. Wig party. Everyone wears a wig. That’s it. The only catch is that you won’t be wearing the one you brought. You can host this at home or exchange wigs before a night out, it’s so unserious and simple that you may just have to repeat it!

11. Power point night. This party is for the type A crowd and you’ll need committed friends but when you pull it off, it’s a night you’ll never forget. I’ve seen people host serious versions of this party where they share a PP of something they love and want to share with friends and also silly versions where people share a PP of the Disney characters they would marry and why or all their friends as characters in The Office. This theme has SO many great ideas as well, it just takes more time.

12. Coffee shop. This ones for the beverage lovers and it’s perfect for a Saturday or Sunday morning. You serve up coffee and tea and guests can bring an assortment of pastries and/or breakfast bites to nibble on while they catch up or get some work done. I love the open-door policy feel to this one, guests can stay as long as they like and it’s more fun as a host if you make a little coffee menu to offer.

Life often gets heavy, we need our friends and they need us. I hope this inspires you to have some of your village over and add a little whimsy back into life!

Style gallery

10 ways to wear striped shorts

Similar shorts linked here.

Thanks so much for being here and sharing your day with me! Much love, Xx

The next step you can take in leveling up your wardrobe is closet maintenance. After all, what good are high quality products without the tools to keep their quality high? I know there’s a lot on the market begging for attention and many products claiming to do the same thing, so I’ll share whats worked best for me and the tools I think every stylish person should own a version of.

Breaking it down into three categories, I’ll share my favorite pre-wash products, post-laundry tools and quick tailoring fixes, because sometimes keeping up your wardrobe means maintaining the best fit.

Pre-wash

1. The needle-looking Snag-nab-it tool is one every clothes wearing person should have on hand. Clothes inevitably get snagged, threads get pulled and this little needle grabs the fiber with the threaded end and pulls it through to the other side, keeping it from getting worse. I’ve used it on furniture, leggings and nearly every sweater I own. All items will be linked below.

2. Fray check is fabric glue that stops any distressing and fraying in its tracks and keeps it from spreading. Washing an item will cause it to fray more so apply the glue first.

3. My favorite special fabric detergents are from The Laundress, I have their stain solution and wool & cashmere detergent and I love them both. The laundry soap has a yummy woodsy scent and its the only cleaner I trust for my wool and cashmere.

Post-wash

1. Friction from washing can add extra fuzz and pilling so it’s best to de-pill after. This Conair fabric shaver has been my closet BFF for 7+ years and it’s another must have I believe everyone should own. It shaves off the pills that form through normal wear and tear and is the key to keeping your wardrobe looking fresh. A sweater comb is slightly more old fashioned but does the same job, I’ll be comparing the two on my Instagram next week.

2. Cedar and lavender scents keep bugs away so it can be a good idea to keep some lavender sachets and cedar balls or discs in your closet to ward off moths and carpet beetles. Depending on where you live, this one might be more or less optional. (This is also why older homes were built with cedar closets TMYK!)

Tailoring fixes

1. Hemming glue is SO cool, it comes it both a glue bottle version and a webby iron-on tape version. It allows you to hem up and shorten any item of clothing, no sewing skills needed. The heat in your dryer could affect the glue in this case so either air dry or hand wash after using.

2. Seasons change and insufficient holes in your belt should never keep you from wearing the pieces you love! A hole puncher for your belts can be really nice to have on hand.

All items mentioned are LINKED HERE.

Clothes aren’t meant to be disposable and discarded at the first signs of life. And I have found that when we approach our closets with care and intentionality, the items in it will serve us in return ten fold what we put into them! A wardrobe is most functional with the right tools and I hope these find their way into your home too.

Wardrobe repeat

I’ve worn hats more in the past year than I have in my entire life. They’ve always fit well with my style but I believe their function and ease have never been so appreciated than in this season of my style and I can’t get enough! Here are my four most worn hats - they’re comfy, simplistic and I find these colors to go well with just about anything. Ralphs coffee is easily my most worn. The NBD cap I have is sold out but they still sell the same ivory color in the peace sign. Linked here.

Recent outfits & a Spring coastal capsule

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You may have missed…

Aimee Reiff

What I Wore In Paris

I used to criminally over pack for even weekend getaways but for 8 days in London & Paris I was determined to build the perfect capsule and pare down what I needed to fit in a carry-on. 7 tops, 3 bottoms, 1 dress, 3 shoes, 3 jackets, 2 bags…

Read more

5 months ago · 2 likes · Aimee Reiff

Offline Aimee

We lit our last Spring fire // selfie is the best command // April skies were incredible

Rainy orchard walk // Ollies first sight of the ocean // vacation time in Dillons beach & celebrated our wedding anniversary

Hosted a Jane Austen tea party // Spring on the farm // mountain getaway with my mom and sisters-in-law

Thanks so much for being here and sharing your day with me! Much love, Xx

Below is everything I packed and wore during the seven days in the city of love. Before leaving, I tried on every outfit to make sure this capsule would be flexible for weather, practical for booked activities and the styles would mix & match seamlessly. I wouldn’t have changed anything except bring less layers because they didn’t end up being needed.

Day 1 - Morning

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Day 1 - Evening

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Day 2 - Morning

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Day 2 - Evening

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Day 3 - Morning

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Day 3 - Evening

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Day 4

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Day 5

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I’m not consistent, I don’t post daily, I’m often absent from socials for days or weeks at a time, busy with my offline life. I travel, see, taste, enjoy and experience a LOT of life that never leaves my camera roll. I wear cute outfits that no one sees and sometimes I leave my phone behind. I pass up opportunities by saying no to most and yes to few.

When I’m feeling the heavy pressure to share or show my face on social media just to stay relevant, I hide. I can’t remember the last time I shopped a sale or thought about sharing it. My camera doesn’t eat first and I will always encourage friends getting off social media. By industry standards I make a poor content creator.

Every time I’ve tried to be a good influencer, it made me feel like my value was tied to numbers and at the end of the day, I don’t want to live a linkable life.

Years ago I used to be a part of the mass creator hustle, the daily check-ins and never ending sales. But when I moved towards consuming more intentionally, both in my shopping habits and my content creation, I realized that my presence on social media also had to be intentional. Since materialism is the blueprint of influencing, stepping away from that model left me unsure how to proceed. How much posting was enough? How much was performative? Ever since that shift I feel like I’ve been searching for the perfect influencing schedule that fulfills me, helps others and allows me to hone my creativity while sharing inspiration. I’m still looking.

In my search, I’ve come to accept these three truths:

1. As creativity ebbs and flows, it simple makes sense that my capacity for influencing would too. I can’t produce 100% quality 100% of the time.

2. In the future when I look back on my twenties, I will never wish I had posted more or been more present online or shared more of my life online. I just won’t.

3. Even though I know there’s success to be had in being online more, I’m happy with the quality of my offline life, which infinitely matters more. And I think I’m content with whatever kind of influencer my values make me.

   Even if that’s a bad influencer!

Thankfully, being a good influencer isn’t the recipe for a being a successful one and I can’t fully express just how rewarding it has been the past 6 months to watch my accounts grow as I’ve protected my pursuit of quality over quantity.

Thank you for being here and supporting me as many of you have been for years, I can promise that I will always apply my whole heart to everything you see, 110% and nothing less, it’s just who I am.

Wardrobe repeat… with a twist

I sort of wear this… every night! It’s our new duvet and sheet set and it’s HEAVENLY.

In February we upgraded our bedroom including a new mattress, furniture and duvet and so far its the best sleep we’ve had! Matt is super picky when it comes to sleep conditions and we’re both hot sleepers so the fact that we both rave about this duvet says a lot. It’s super fluffy and cloud like, which looks beautiful but also the bed is easy to make. We love that it’s not too warm (we chose the all-seasons weight) and paired with the cotton sateen sheets, our bed feels like a luxury hotel room and that’s exactly what I wanted! Two months later I’m still excited about it, the only downside is now we spend more time in bed haha. Linked here.

Recent outfits

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Revisiting old favorites

I’ve been sick a few times recently and it gave me time to go back and re-listen to some of my favorite true crime reporting, here are several in case you’re on the hunt for a good story! (Specifically Serial season 1 is my favorite)

Offline Aimee

The return of Farmhouse Fridays (summery hangouts with friends) // A Spring hike // Our new neighbor has a Bernese Mountain dog named Dixie, she and Ollie play 24/7!

My mom and I are headed to England! I’ve been spending all my free time planning and booking this trip for Cornwall, Dorset and the Cotswolds, and now we wait for August to arrive. Leave your recommendations in the comments!

Garden updates

We had such a mild winter, everything bloomed early on the farm and March was FULL of flowers! This was the first year I grew enough flowers to create real arrangements without using store bought filler and that makes me SO excited for the future of my cut garden. Next up are Peonies and Dahlias!

Thanks so much for being here and sharing your day with me! Much love, Xx

Without going to school for fashion, I explored it on my own and became my own teacher. My style journey has been far from straight forward and full of the trial and error that’s brought me to today. Even looking back at where I started on Instagram, there are a lot of outfits I wouldn’t wear today because my taste has continued to refine.

Using this platform, I want to create a simple springboard to exploration and direction instead of a fool proof recipe for knowing what your style is. (Frankly I don’t know if there is such a universal cheatsheet of answers, personal style is personal and individual)

When I reflect on what launched me into learning my personal style and what helped me develop a since of clarity when outfit building, I think about style principles.

STYLE PRINCIPLES

Before learning my style, my closet felt like a dysfunctional language. It made sense in my head but I couldn’t have told you why and with no reasoning to back up the choices I made, I was really only guided by feelings. My taste told me my style could be better but I didn’t know how to get there.

Learning basic style principles such as the rule of thirds, how proportions and silhouettes influence a visual, placing lines and where to use them, complimentary colors, knowing what a third piece is, points of femininity, seasonal colors etc. become the spark that ignited so much style discovery.

A new language

Style principles can work to train a new way of thinking about your clothes, it’s like learning the alphabet by tracing letters to memorize their shape. Eventually you don’t need to trace anymore and you can practice on your own, before you know it, the letters are no longer guided they become instinct, taking on the flare of your own handwriting - your unique expression, even to the point of being known by it.

The guidelines I learned about style “rules”/principles became tools that allowed me to trace and practice building outfits that felt right and aligned with my taste. Years later, my style has taken on its own form and flare, it’s as individual as my handwriting but I needed the tools to learn what I was aiming for first. With time I was also able to sort through what “rules” to adopt and which ones didn’t serve me and my style.

In my drafts

I promise to dive into these style principles more in-depth and what I mean by each one that I mentioned, in another post (keep an eye out!)

My goal is to help you discover what your style is or help you hone and refine what you know it to be. Even if I provide clarity in one singular Aha moment, I will count it worth my time! My style journey was built on one Aha moment at a time, each bringing me closer to understanding the WHY some items work when others don’t. I hope to make this style discovery outline into a series and by subscribing, you won’t miss it!

Subscribe now

Fresh Off The Press -

Recent outfits

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Book Club

A Prayer For Owen Meany by John Irving. Set in the 1950s/60s this story is about friendship, faith and the extraordinary events that followed when John’s best friend Owen hit a foul ball that killed his mother. “I am a christian because of Owen Meany.” I haven’t finished it yet, but I am enjoying this one despite the slow beginning. The authors style reminds me a lot of Dickens wit, humor and observations of humanity.

Listening to - The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah. This is a story I know will break my heart by the end but too many friends recommended it to not add it to my list! It’s a historical fiction WWII story of two sisters living in Nazi occupied France. Kristin Hannah does such a great job retelling history with her compelling characters.

Offline Aimee

A last minute trip to Maui with some friends // Galentines with the best girls I know // Making homemade dumplings for Chinese New Year

Farmhouse updates

3 short months later and the bulbs I planted are already pushing through the ground and some are blooming! All the varieties I planted are saved in my IG highlight here.

Thanks so much for being here and sharing your day with me! Much love, Xx

We stayed at Templeton Garden in Kensington and I think it’s safe to say we both fell in love with this elegant hotel, two nights wasn’t enough!

1000% worth adding breakfast to your stay, the spread was amazing.

DAY ONE

We arrived late morning, and after checking into our hotel we changed for lunch and headed to the Underground. Earl’s Court station is just a 5 minute walk from Templeton Garden.

⭐️ I highly recommend using the Underground to get everywhere, it was so simple and made our full days very do-able. If you do plan to use the tube, I also recommend setting up apple pay on your phone which makes using public transit as easy as tapping your phone as you walk in and out of the station. It automatically calculates how far you traveled and charges you accordingly, no tickets required!

We ate lunch at The Orange, a renovated pub that still felt warm and classic but with a modern flare. Food was 7/10. We were originally going to stay in the boutique hotel above The Orange but it was fully booked.

London has such a charming warmth. The architecture, cobblestones and residential streets we walked felt so quaint yet familiar in the way you feel about a place you used to live many years ago but find it unchanged after visiting.

Our first evening was spent drinking tea with our books on the hotel’s gorgeous patio and ordering in room service. (Also amazing.)

DAY TWO

This was our most packed day of the whole trip, including France, but I wouldn’t have changed a thing!

After breakfast at our hotel, we hopped on the tube to the Tower of London. Of all the museums to see in London, TOL felt the right size for the amount of time we wanted to spend and in a central location to other spots we wanted to see. The cherry on top was it’s view of London Bridge as well.

The crown jewels were priority on my list of things to see and I’m so glad I did. There’s such precious history in those gems, it nearly brought me to tears to see such famous crowns and diadems my Nan would tell me about. The rest of TOL is heavily saturated in England’s history and the uses of TOL over the centuries. I love learning history and find it fascinating but if it’s not your thing, you may want to skip. 7/10.

Afterwards we grabbed lunch from some food trucks outside the Tower and I’m sure they’re changing all the time so I won’t leave any recs.

On our way to our next stop, we walked by Beyond Retro and I’ll never say no to vintage shopping so we dropped in. Take me back! They had such an amazing selection that felt clean and curated, they definitely had a finger on the pulse of quality vintage. I brought home with this black leather jacket and a brownish olive trench coat. 8/10.

At the end of the street was our destination at Liberty Fabrics. A girlhood dream come true. I won’t bore you with the history, but Liberty is one of the oldest fabric stores in the world and it’s a 5 story wonderland of luxury brands, fabric showrooms, leather crafting, custom shopping and all set in the stunning wood-paneled original building. A bucketlist item without a doubt, and any fashion lover would appreciate. 10/10.

We did have to indulge in one ultra touristy photo-spot moment on our weekend and I don’t regret it one bit!

After a quick change for dinner at our hotel we were out again, this time near Soho.

Our only dinner we had in London was at Oriole and I highly recommend! Definitely some of the best food I had on this trip and another great spot for cocktails with a creative drink menu. I don’t center where I eat around the alcohol they serve (I’ll often order a mocktail) but I have observed that restaurants who show an understanding of quality cocktails, typically also care about the quality of their food. Oriole and it’s live music was cozy, vibey and 10/10.

After dinner we headed to one more stop before calling it a night.

We each had places or activities that were high on our personal bucketlists for this trip (such as Liberty) and getting into Apollo’s Muse was one of mine for London. Recently opened to the public, this bar was strikingly grand and I love a unique drink menu and theme. The longer we stayed the louder the music became, otherwise I would recommend. 9/10.

(A post of what I packed & links coming soon.)

DAY THREE

Our final half day was spent in Notting Hill and although the homes and neighborhood was truly an enjoyable walk, Saturday was packed with tourists and I only wish we had visited on a weekday. 6/10

We stayed off the beaten path for the most part and I think we found more beautiful corners in the quiet than the busiest main streets.

We grabbed an early lunch at The Pelican, a charming English pub full of warm wood tones, whiskey leather, farm-to-table menus and had me snapping pictures of every angle for home inspo! I would absolutely go back, 10/10.

Post lunch, we ubered to our hotel to grab our bags before heading to St. Pancras to catch our train to Paris. ALL things Paris and our itinerary coming soon in a post!

Let me know if you have questions, I’m happy to share details.

New look, same newsletter!

If you missed my last newsletter - let me quickly catch you up. In an effort to pare my life down to what is most essential, I’ve shut down my website and have moved all relevant content like my shopable links and blogging over to Substack, including this newsletter.

From now on, you can always access past newsletters and exclusive Substack content on aimeereiff.substack.com all in one place, which will soon include tabs to browse such as my art projects, home improvement and farmhouse updates, as well as notes on gardening while I cultivate the space of my dreams. Now that that’s out of the way…

Welcome back, friend!

Recently I asked everyone on Instagram what would be most helpful to see styled multiple ways to inspire shopping your closet more often and refresh pieces that feel tired. I’ll share that content both here and IG so vote on what you would like to see next month!

Fresh on Substack

Paris in the Fall

The leaves were just beginning to change color as my friend and I pulled into the Gare du Nord train station. We rode from London where we spent the first three days of our holiday and though we loved walking the streets of London town, we were so excited to see what Paris had to offer us at such a magical time of the year!

For a week we shopped, strolled the Musee de l’Orangerie and Louvre, basked in the sunny days, visited Versailles, mastered the Metro and I drank my weight in cappuccinos! Parisians were so kind and accommodating, also the Metro felt safe and I would 100% feel confident enough to solo trip there! Loved loved loved Paris.

Eventually I will share a full recap of the trip on Substack, including where we shopped, explored, where we ate and our recs of what to skip / visit.

Stay tuned!

Wardrobe Repeats

The Allbirds Kiwi Clog (currently 30% off!) pretty much haven’t left my feet since they arrived beginning of November! All other slippers I have are more indoors-only feeling so I love that this substantial sole is perfect for all day wear around the house whether I’m in or out! Sherpa lined, comfy straight out of the box and just the right amount of warm (I can’t handle sweaty feet). I sized up to wear with socks and it’s the perfect fit.

I already gifted a pair to my dad who wears them constantly too and loves how comfortable they are. Who wouldn’t love to open these up on Christmas?

Book Club

The Housemaid by Freida McFadden - This mystery/psychological thriller was fast paced and held my interest, I just wish it had more characters to keep you guessing! Some scenes are intense, I recommend reading the content warnings before reading or watching the movie that comes out soon.

Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt - Cute and charming but I DNF’d halfway through. I’m under the impression it’s very heartwarming but predictable so I’m not going to force myself to finish it.

Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir - A bit of a slower start but WOW. I went in blind having no idea what to expect and was not disappointed by this Sci-Fi journey. The MC is a middle-school science teacher who is assigned with the job of saving earth from an extinction level threat. I got this one on Audible and loved the listening experience! I laughed out loud, I gasped, I cried and the ending was 10/10. Highly recommend.

Red Rising by Pierce Brown - I listened to this one on audio also and I really enjoyed it! Such a wild ride, I didn’t know how intense it was going to be but I’m HOOKED and can’t wait to see how the story unfolds over the next books in the series. The plot reminds me somewhat of Hunger Games if the games were only the elite young people of the capital and the games weren’t for sport but for school with the main character playing undercover from district 12. Brilliantly written.

Farmhouse updates

We have cushions!! And it only took me a whole year… I went with performance fabric from Folio Fabrics online. Thank you to everyone on IG who helped me decide which design to go with, I chose the smaller, more minimalist stripe and I plan to dress it up with bold & earthy pillows. (feat. my Kiwi Clogs!)

I also added this Quince rug to our entry to catch dirt and soften the noise level in our entry. It’s 100% wool and hand-loomed and I love the timeless diamond checkered pattern, it’s the perfect quiet statement which is always my goal.

If you haven’t heard, I love flowers and I plan to plant a lot over the next decade here at the Farmhouse. So far, 220 tulips, daffodils and narcissus have been planted in the front and I’m so excited for next Spring! Cold weather early means good blooms so we’re on track for a great yield.

Thanks so much for being here and sharing your day with me! Much love, Xx

A dream of body-warmed rooms, wine glass rings on the coffee table, laughter drenched walls, sock races, a sink full of dishes, an Everest of shoes by the front door, fire pit s’mores, chalk covered sidewalks, a pair of forgotten sunglasses and whining kids who have just been told its time to go home.

I spent most of my childhood years invited to a home like this. Some of my most magical memories were there, in a place that wasn’t mine but it was made to feel like it was, a place I belonged. A home away from home, a haven where all were welcome.

Because sometimes, home is just as much a feeling as it is a place.

I have a dream of handing down the same kind of sweet memories to others, a second home to feel welcome and inspired or maybe the first kind of home to some. When Matt and I moved into our new house in October 2024 I knew it was time to start building this dream, so I set out with big aspirations of hosting one event a month and called them Farmhouse Fridays.

(Invite made on Canva) Some of the themes included: A flower potluck, cookbook club, BYOC (bring your own craft) and last month we made Fall wreaths, all with one purpose - to gather.

After 10 months of opening our home, here are 10 lessons hosting taught me...

1. Knowing why you want to host, answers every question that follows.

Several years ago I read The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker who explains this simple truth: knowing the why will be the guiding shape you hold up every question to as you plan your event. Who should be invited, what you will do, what you will serve etc. all comes back to the reason for gathering. In the beginning, my preparation was misaligned with my purpose and I wanted my guests to feel laid-back without me being a laid-back host. Once I reoriented myself back to my why, hosting became easier and easier every month until prep and set-up were simple.

2. Hosting is a muscle, not a natural-born talent.

Same as any conversational skill or any other people skills, hosting requires practice, patience and most of all, grace for yourself as you learn. Don’t be discouraged if your first attempt don’t go like you planned or imagined, readjust expectations and go again!

3. Hosting keeps my house tidy.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t schedule cleaning days or have any consistent tidy-up routine around here, so I found hosting to be the perfect time for it! Not that I believe your home can’t look lived-in when guests arrive, but I really liked having built-in time set aside to putting things away or cleaning that I don’t normally.

4. Hosting is truly about quality not quantity.

I’m going to be vulnerable here- for all 10 months, attendance varied considerably but on average a fraction of invitees showed up. In the beginning this bothered me, but I came to realize this was actually a blessing that gave me the opportunity to build a closer connection with the few that came, than I could if my home were full. I learned that quality cultivates quantity. I aimed big but found the blessing of less but better.

5. Showing up for those who show up is worth more than any RSVP.

Going hand-in-hand with the last one, I didn’t ask my guests to RSVP so besides the few who did, I never knew who was going to walk in the front door. That might stress some people out but if my goal was to gather community and provide a welcoming space for friendship and creativity, then knowing who was coming didn’t matter and it never did! Reminding myself of my intention and purpose allowed me to show up for whoever walked in.

6. Knowing the home you want to have, helps you be the right host.

Deciding the experience I wanted guests to have, helped me know what to do. I knew I wanted guests to make themselves at home so instead of always serving and pouring glasses, I intentionally set out self-serve stations. I left the tea drawer open and made sure everyone knew where mugs and glasses were kept. I stuck a post-it note to the fridge letting people help themselves to sparkling waters, I started putting my purse on the bench by the front door with my shoes so people knew where they could drop their things. When someone needed something that was in easy reach I would tell them where they could find it instead of getting it myself. If this doesn’t sound like good hosting to you, that’s totally fine! Knowing how you want guests to feel will guide your hosting better than anything!

7. Hosting means trial and error.

Certain things did not run smoothly (to my standard) every month, there were things I learned not to do and things I learned to do more of. Some things I thought would be fun, completely fell flat and other things I didn’t give much thought to ended up being big hits, but the key was that I never stopped learning. If my goal had been a perfect event, I would have given up, thats why it’s so important to know your why.

8. I can be the thread that brings my friend groups together.

It won’t always work to bring your different social circles together but why not try? This year was my attempt to bring together family, younger single friends, married friends, my cherished elderly friends, new moms and empty nester friends all in one place. And you know what? It worked!

9. Guests love a theme.

Even when we didn’t have a theme, or the theme was chill like our coffee shop nights where you could chose to bring a project to work on or just hangout, everyone still had an enjoyable time. But when the theme was clear and purposeful, those were the most attended evenings! A theme adds a built-in talking point, especially when it includes an activity or craft. It showed me that people really do prefer to know what to do their hands as they chat. Guests loved knowing exactly what to expect rather than showing up to ambiguous conversation without a definitive close to the event.

10. Hosting can be a group effort.

Who says hosting means the host must do everything? I did. No one told me I had to, but I wanted to do it all on my own! I turned down help, I declined offers of food and treats for feeling like a failure if I didn’t provide it myself. But I ignored one fact, that guests enjoy something more when they feel like they’ve participated in bringing it together. Whether that means allowing someone to wash your dishes or bring cookies, accepting help when it’s offered shows your friends that you value what they have to contribute. I’m so glad I learned this lesson. Oh and many hands make light work, that too.

I already can’t wait for next years Farmhouse Fridays, who knows, maybe I’ll learn 10 more things!

Below are some memories from this year, may they inspire you to fill your own home.

As a former shopaholic and queen of “I might need it one day”, I’ll never forget the time I purged six trash bags full of clothes and shoes that were the victims of a closet clean out. I should say THE closet clean out, because I promised myself I would never be so wasteful again and I’ve done pretty well since. If you’ve ever struggled to let go, this guide is for you.

The purpose of this post is not to help you decide if you should keep your favorite sweater - our style yeses are BIG, obvious and easy yeses - but what about the maybe pile?

“I spent good money on this.”

“I like it, but I don’t have anywhere to wear it.”

“I want to fit into this again.”

“What if I get rid of it and then need it?”

“I like it but I never wear it because I don’t know how to style it.”

“I looked so cute on her, but I don’t know if I can pull it off.”

Sound familiar? The next time you’re curating and find an item that falls into that grey-area of the maybe pile - ask yourself these questions.

MONEY GUILT:

Maybe you liked it at first but fell out of love, or it was the luxury item everyone else had so you bought it too, or it was an exciting purchase you never ended up reaching for - whatever the cause, the effect, is the item you spent a lot of money on gathering dust.

Q: “Does keeping this item give me my money back?” If the cost is already spent, does holding onto it actually change that fact?

Q: “Is it adding value to my wardrobe by presence alone?” An item taking up valuable real-estate in your closest, should make you feel confident and comfortable, and if not, what purpose is it serving?

Q: Am I punishing myself for a past decision by keeping this?” The guilt over “I should wear it”, can be strong, but is obligation as good a reason as sparking joy?

Q: “What lesson did this purchase teach me?” Maybe it showed what colors or styles you don’t love enough. It may have been an expensive lesson, but it helps to identify what that lesson is to feel better about letting it go.

FEAR OF SCARCITY:

“What if I need it someday?” You feel like the moment you donate said item, you’ll need it and regret letting it go. If you find yourself hoarding instead of editing, your closet becomes a mix of wardrobe heroes and unused what-if’s and at the end of the day, your wardrobe will feel disjointed, less efficient and lacking intention entirely.

Q: “When was the last time I actually wore this?” If you haven’t reached for it in a year or two, realistically when will you?

Q: “What is the worst-case scenario if I let this go?” If the “someday” comes, can you rent, borrow or buy something instead that fits your style now?

Q: “If I didn’t already own this, would I buy it again? How much would I pay for it?” This isolates the endowment effect (the tendency to overvalue something simply because you own it).

Q: “If I lost my luggage with this piece inside, would I miss it? Repurchase it?” This gives insight into how much you actually value the item and how well it serves you.

THE WALLFLOWER:

For the pieces that sit to the side or in the back, the items you love and want to wear but don’t know how. Maybe with a little advice or inspiration it would enter your rotation… let’s find out.

Q: “Do I admire this as an object or as a piece of my wardrobe?” Maybe you think of it more like artwork than as a would-be functional aspect of your closet. If that’s the case, is the value of the joy it brings, worth more than the real-estate it takes up?

Q: “Do I like the idea of this item more the reality of wearing it?” Sometimes we’re in love with the vibe of something, the look, the feel, but not the experience.

Q: “Am I willing to do the work of seeking out inspiration?” This goes hand in hand with the previous question, but if the answer is yes then take the time to search Pinterest for ideas or ask a stylist for tips. Building some outfits may be the spark it takes to start wearing it. (Side note: you can always message me!)

THE WRONG SIZE:

I realize this a nuanced category. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to live and feel your best, but holding on to clothes that regularly fill you with shame and stress each time you see them, won’t help your well-being, no matter your goals. When it comes to decluttering items that don’t fit, these questions might give you clarity.

Q: “Is this item worth the mental space it takes up?” Is keeping it costing you more in shame than it’s worth in the convenience of *maybe* wearing it later?

Q: “Could someone else get more joy or use out of this than I will in the meantime?” This makes donating or selling turn into a positive instead of a source of stress.

Q: “Does holding onto this motivate me or just make me feel guilty?” Anything that consistently creates shame isn’t serving you, no matter the goal.

Q: “Is it possible to alter this item so that I can enjoy it now?” Sometimes clothes have a small amount of space to be let out in the inseams and occasionally an experienced tailor can add room.

Q: “Does this item celebrate the body I have today or punish me for not being smaller?” Maybe its not inspiring or motivating, maybe it’s just a reminder or guilt and frustration. If so, is it worth it?

THE DISILLUSIONED PURCHASE:

This is the piece someone told you to buy or you bought because you liked how it looked on someone else. When there’s nothing objectively wrong with the item or how it looks, it just isn’t what you thought it would be and are disappointed with how it looks or feels on your body.

Q: “When I wear this, do I feel like myself or like I’m in costume?” *important* Does it reflect your style or someone else’s? Your lifestyle, or the one you wish you had?

Q: “Am I keeping this out of pressure to be trendy or because it truly aligns with my lifestyle?” Sometimes the promise of feeling great in an item doesn’t translate well offline, it may have been cute on your screen but isn’t practical for real life.

Q: “If this piece was hanging in a store right now, would I even notice it?” Influencing is this: We tend to attribute value to things that other people value, especially when we trust that persons opinion. Apart from their influence, would you have bought it?

Q; “Am I keeping this because it’s useful or because I don’t want to admit I wasted my money?” The obligation of “I should wear it” traps all of us, but it’s honestly not a good enough reason to keep.

SENTIMENTAL PIECES:

This is another difficult category that is slightly nuanced as everyone feels varying degrees of sentimentality. However, I’ve included a few questions for anyone who finds themselves tying clothes to memories instead of usefulness.

Q: “Does keeping this item help me remember the memory or just weigh me down?” Maybe it’s possible to honor the memory in other ways such as writing it down, photographing it, passing the story down etc. without holding on to the physical item.

Q: “Could someone else enjoy this item and create new happy memories?” Donating or gifting doesn’t erase the memory, it extends joy to someone else!

Q: “If I had never known who gave this to me, would I still want it?” Sometimes letting go, feels like a rejection of the person who gave it, but the love and memory lives in you, not the fabric.

Q: “Am I keeping this out of genuine love, or out of guilt and obligation?” It’s okay to admit that you love the person, not the item. Releasing it, doesn’t dishonor them, it honors your present life.

Q: “What would this person say if they knew I was keeping it but never wearing it?” If an item isn’t serving you, holding onto it isn’t loyalty, it’s clutter.

Final thoughts…

Letting go isn’t losing or admitting defeat, but sometimes it feels that way and often times it feels like saying goodbye to a past version of yourself in the process. Curating brings clarity and purpose to your closet and it’s making space for the clothes and the YOU that truly serve you best. The road to building the closet you love and personal style that inspires confidence, requires periodic editing. After all, what would our favorite books, beautiful homes, and favorite movies be without the decisive edits that made them into what we love? Just like pruning is necessary for fuller, richer growth! While you edit - prioritize joy above all, and if it’s not an easy yes, it’s a no.

Xx Aimee