My great-grandmother lived an extremely long life.

(May Allah forgive her shortcomings and grant her Jannatul Firdausi)

She got to see multiple generations of her family. Her children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and beyond.

And honestly, she was such an interesting and fun human being.

I remember visiting her house and hearing her talk about how happy she was to see her great-grandchildren. We would laugh about the funny things she said, and then, the moment she started calling us out for our stubbornness, we’d scatter.

She had lived through so much.

But there was one thing about her life that I started thinking about much later.

She wasn’t part of a generation where education was easily accessible, especially for women. Going to school wasn’t the norm for many girls. There were simply opportunities that didn’t exist for women in her time.

Then, one day in high school, a friend of mine casually said:

“My grandma was the first female architect in Nigeria.”

Someone else mentioned what their grandmother had accomplished.

Then another person.

And another.

I went quiet.

Because suddenly, I started wondering:

What about my grandmother?

What did she build?

What did she accomplish?

What did she leave behind for our generation?

And more importantly…

What will my great-grandchildren say about me?

That question has stayed with me.

Because as women, there is something particularly powerful about the way our lives can multiply.

One woman can raise children who go on to raise children of their own. One woman can introduce a new standard of thinking into her family. One woman can become the reason the next generation has opportunities she never had.

Your growth rarely stops with you.

When you become wiser, the people around you benefit.

When you learn a valuable skill, you have something you can pass down.

When you build financial capacity, you create possibilities for your family.

When you strengthen your character, your children get to grow up around that example.

When you become educated, curious, disciplined and capable, you don’t just become a better individual, you potentially change the trajectory of the people who come after you.

And this is why I think women should take their personal growth seriously.

Not because you need to become some extraordinary woman who has a full Wikipedia bio page written about her.

But because your life has the potential to outlive you.

The skills you’re learning today could one day become something your daughter learns from you.

The books you’re reading today could shape the way your children think.

The deen you study today could shape the way your children holds unto their values.

The financial literacy you’re developing today could prevent your children from making the same mistakes you once made.

The confidence you’re building today could become the foundation your daughter stands on tomorrow.

So, ladies, I want to ask you:

Are you building yourself today in a way that your future great-grandchildren will be proud to tell people about you?

“Do you know who she is?”

“She’s my grandmother.”

“She built this.”

“She taught us this.”

“She was the one who started it.”

I genuinely don’t think excellence is supposed to be selfish.

You don’t have to wait until you’re a mother to start thinking about legacy.

You don’t have to wait until you’re married.

You don’t have to wait until you’re successful.

Start building now.

Learn.

Read.

Develop valuable skills.

Become financially literate.

Strengthen your character.

Take care of your body and your mind.

Learn how to communicate.

Learn how to think.

Learn how to solve problems.

Keep growing in your deen.

And remain a lifelong learner.

You don’t suddenly graduate from learning because you graduated from university.

You don’t stop growing because you got married.

You don’t stop becoming because you became a mother.

There will always be another level of yourself to develop.

And perhaps one of the most beautiful things we can do as women is become so full of knowledge, wisdom, character and capability that what we build doesn’t end with us.

Allah gave us the ability to multiply in more ways than one.

So build something worth multiplying.

Because one day, someone who has never met you might benefit from a decision you made today.

And perhaps, generations from now, your great-grandchild will say:

“You don’t know who she was?”

“That’s my grandmother.”

….

Sincerely yours truly,

Aisha.

Let me get something off my chest.

For the longest time, I demonized the 9–5.

If you grew up consuming entrepreneurial content like I did, hearing people talk about escaping the rat race, reading books like Rich Dad Poor Dad, and watching successful entrepreneurs online, you’ve probably heard the same message:

“Never work a 9–5.”

I believed it. Well I still do, here’s the nuance.

In fact, I promised myself I’d never be the kind of person sitting behind a desk, working for someone else.

And if I’m being honest, I was probably the loudest person telling everyone else that getting a 9–5 was a waste of time.

Today?

I’m sitting behind a desk.

Life has a funny way of humbling you.

Not because I failed.

Not because I gave up on my dreams.

But because I’ve grown enough to realize that life is rarely as black and white as we make it seem.

I’ve learned that everything comes with nuance.

What Changed?

I still don’t believe everyone should blindly follow the traditional path.

Finish university.

Get your degree.

Apply for jobs.

Work until retirement.

That isn’t the only way to live.

But I’ve realized something I didn’t fully understand before.

Businesses don’t hire people simply because they have a degree.

They hire people because they solve problems.

More importantly…

They hire people who can help them make more money.

That completely changed the way I started looking at work.

Instead of asking,

“How do I get hired?”

I started asking,

“How can I become valuable enough that businesses want me?”

The answer wasn’t another certificate.

It was skills.

Skills Make You Valuable

People constantly tell you to build skills.

For a long time, I thought it was just another motivational phrase people repeated online.

Now I understand why.

The more valuable your skills become, the more valuable you become.

And these skills aren’t always technical.

Yes, they could be things like:

• Copywriting

• Social media management

• Running Meta ads

• Marketing

• Sales

But they can also be things people overlook:

• Discipline

• Accountability

• Good judgment

• Communication

• Leadership

• Managing people well

Those skills matter just as much.

Businesses don’t exist just to look aesthetic.

They exist to make money.

If you consistently help a business grow, you’ll always be valuable.

So… Why Am I Working a 9–5?

Simple.

Because I needed structure.

After university, I spent about eight months at home.

I was learning.

Building my skills.

Trying to get into remote work.

Alhamdulillah, things were moving.

But eventually, I realized something uncomfortable.

The biggest obstacle wasn’t the market.

It wasn’t clients.

It wasn’t competition.

It was me.

I lacked structure.

I tend to work based on how I feel.

If I feel motivated, I get a lot done.

If I don’t, I drift.

I knew that if I wanted to become the person I kept imagining, I couldn’t continue relying on motivation.

I needed discipline.

And discipline usually grows inside structure.

So I chose a job.

Not because I abandoned my dreams.

Not because I stopped believing in remote work.

Not because I no longer want to build businesses.

I chose it because I needed an environment that would stretch me.

Choosing the Right Environment

I didn’t just accept any job.

I chose a company whose values matched the kind of person I want to become.

A place that believes in growth.

A place that develops people instead of simply managing employees.

A place that wants leaders, not just workers.

When I saw that, I realized something.

This wasn’t taking me away from my goals.

It was preparing me for them.

I still plan to work remotely.

I still want to build businesses.

I still want freedom.

But right now, I also want structure.

Because freedom without discipline isn’t freedom.

It’s chaos.

What I’m Learning

Every day at work is showing me things about myself.

It’s exposing every area where I lacked discipline.

Every excuse I used to make.

Every plan I failed to stick to.

I used to think I was disciplined enough.

Now I know I have a lot more growing to do.

I need to plan better.

Manage my time better.

Be intentional.

Be consistent.

And honestly?

I’m grateful for that realization.

So… Should You Get a 9–5?

I’m not going to answer that for you.

I’m also not going to tell you to start a business.

Or become a freelancer.

Or chase remote work.

What works for me might not be what works for you.

Instead, ask yourself a better question.

Who do I need to become?

Where are you lacking?

What habits are holding you back?

What environment would help you become the person Allah is calling you to be?

Because here’s the truth.

Even seeking Islamic knowledge requires discipline.

Building a business requires discipline.

Working remotely requires discipline.

Marriage requires discipline.

Everything worthwhile requires consistency.

The destination matters.

But the character you build along the way matters even more.

If a remote job gives you the structure you need, pursue it.

If running a business brings out your best, go for it.

If a 9–5 helps you develop discipline, don’t let people’s opinions stop you.

Choose the environment that helps you become the best version of yourself.

Not the one that simply looks impressive online.

My Advice

Don’t let pride stop you from taking the path that will help you grow.

People may laugh.

People may question your decisions.

People may tell you you’re settling.

That’s okay.

They don’t know what Allah is teaching you in this season.

Pray.

Make istikharah.

Seek Allah’s guidance.

Then make your decision with tawakkul.

Trust that wherever Allah places you, there is something He wants you to learn.

I never thought I’d be working a 9–5.

Yet here I am.

And strangely enough…

It might be exactly what I needed.

Not forever.

But for now.

There are times when someone looks at me and says,

“Aisha, you’re doing such an amazing job. I think you’re even doing better than me because I’ve been procrastinating and trying to get things done.”

When I hear that, I usually respond with,

“No, even me too, I’m always struggling.”

There are moments when I intentionally humble myself so the people around me can feel a little more comfortable.

Another example is this: when you’re someone who strives for excellence, people tend to assume you’re perfect. They think you always know what you’re doing. They think you’ve got it all figured out.

But then there’s the silent truth you know about yourself.

You feel like you haven’t really done that much. So you quiet yourself. You quiet your mind, and you downplay your progress.

I don’t know if this is me speaking from a privileged standpoint. I don’t think I am 100% privileged, but Alhamdulillah, I grew up with a roof over my head, people who loved me, people who paid my school fees, and people who genuinely cared for me.

So when I meet someone who’s talking about something that once came easily to me, but they see it as a far-fetched dream, my instinct is to make myself smaller. I shrink myself because I want the other person to feel comfortable.

Some people call that humility. Others call it emotional intelligence.

Whatever it is, it doesn’t change the fact that I’ve noticed it more and more as I’ve gotten older.

I’m not trying to say it’s a good thing or a bad thing. It’s just something quiet that many of us do. Maybe it’s because we want other people to feel seen. Maybe it’s because we don’t want to come across as arrogant. Maybe it’s because we don’t want to invite the evil eye into our lives.

Sometimes, after you’ve made yourself smaller, you notice a subtle shift in the other person.

There’s a little more confidence in the way they speak. A little puff in their chest.

It’s almost as if your silence gave them room to breathe.

And honestly, I don’t know if that’s a beautiful thing or a dangerous one.

I don’t really know why I wanted to write about this today.

I just know that I keep doing it.

I don’t know if it’s me being smart, strategic, timid, humble, or if it’s actually humility. But it’s something I’ve noticed about myself, and strangely enough, I don’t always feel bad about it.

Because internally, I know I’m trying my best. I know I’m becoming a better version of myself.

But there’s another part of me that’s beginning to wonder…

What happens if I keep doing this?

Will I spend my life constantly humbling myself and downplaying who I am just to make other people comfortable?

Will that eventually cost me something?

I don’t expect perfect answers.

Sometimes I wonder if this is something I should balance, something I should continue doing, or something I should stop altogether.

I’m still exploring it.

But I thought I’d share the question with you today.

What do you think?

Sincerely yours truly,

Aisha

30+ years… How are we still regressing?

The doctors.
The teachers.
The engineers.
The bankers.
The civil servants.
The factory workers.
The farmers.
The business owners.

All occupations lost in a world of chaos.

The depressing chaos of a sovereign nation.

The wage that isn’t enough for the average man to budget for a bag of rice.

The frustration of the light suddenly switching off for factory workers.

The fear of driving through our farmlands.

I think we’ve regressed as a nation.

Mentally, we are bleeding.

The droplets of our blood stain one another.

Our sovereign state wails in tremor.

Trepidation and pain have conquered our land.

Some hands taking what was never theirs to take.

A noble man scorned because he refuses to cheat a group of weeping widows.

We have regressed.

There’s nothing much we can do about it.

We open our eyes, scroll through our phones, and see another headline.

Our hearts chip away by the second.

From the moment we wake up, we feel anger.

Another soul taken.

Another family wiping away tears.

Another man’s jaw tightening with rage.

We have regressed.

There’s nothing much we can do about it.

The pain of a mother looking at her older son.

His eyes fail to meet hers.

His school certificate trembles in his hands.

His crisp white shirt still tucked in.

She remembers crying tears of joy on his graduation day.

His father sold his last property for his education.

We have regressed.

There’s nothing much we can do about it.

The pain of a doctor standing over an almost lifeless baby.

His mother cannot afford the bills.

She holds her child close.

Her sweet baby takes his last breath in her arms.

We have regressed.

What more is left to say?

The factory worker’s arms ache.

His head bears more weight than his anguish.

The light flickers… then disappears.

He sits on a pile of rocks, eating from a plastic bag, waiting for the electricity to return.

Machines worth millions stand silent.

Slowly, factories become lifeless shells, and spider webs replace the places where engine oil was meant to thrive.

We have regressed.

Isn’t there something we can do about it?

The farmers leave home at dusk and are taken before dawn.

The food they once grew is lost.

Weeds replace fresh greenery.

Thorns prick the hands that dare come near.

They are dragged toward their doom.

Beaten.

Battered.

Then forced to choose between paying with their lives or surrendering two-karat gold.

How have we regressed?

Is there truly nothing we can do about it?

When a shameless man steals resources ten times what was entrusted to him.

Where the rich give a kobo to the poor, expecting a fortune in loyalty in return.

The same shameless man always comes back to take what was never his.

We have regressed.

There’s nothing much we can do about it.

The roads crack beneath every passing tyre.

Cars break down before their time.

Accidents become another headline, and journeys measured in minutes stretch into hours.

I don’t want us to keep regressing.

But there’s nothing much we can do about it.

A Nigerian student’s dream no longer ends with a degree.

It stretches far beyond the borders of home.

To Japa.

To remote work.

To salaries paid in dollars.

To a life where hard work can finally afford their families peace.

Behind them, the naira lowers its gaze, no longer trusted to reward their labour.

We have regressed.

We need to find something to do about it.

The conversations that once echoed with laughter over cartoons slowly fade into discussions about money.

You cannot blame them.

When tomorrow feels uncertain, survival speaks louder than nostalgia.

Why does it keep getting more depressing?

Where are the people in power leading us?

I don’t want Nigeria to regress.

I don’t want to fear whether I’ll arrive at my destination safely.

I don’t want to feel useless with a degree I spent over four years preparing for.

I don’t want to rush to charge my phone because I don’t know when they’ll take the light.

I don’t want to wish I were outside the country just so I can breathe a little easier.

I want Nigeria to elevate.

To rise.

To progress.

To thrive.

To improve.

To revive.

To ascend.

To arrive at a destination that survived,

the troubles meant to make us despise ourselves and our nation.

And finally say our goodbyes…

To those who only want to see us during our cries.

Sincerely yours truly,

From my mind and heart,

Aisha

I finally tried Matcha…and realized the drink was never the point.

Once upon a time, I saw a video on my phone of a girl holding a green drink while walking through the streets of New York. She had her fitness clothes on and was talking about how much she adored this now-famous drink called Matcha.

Out of curiosity, I looked it up.

I found out it was a Japanese green tea, whisked before drinking, and that it also contained caffeine.

Now, I’m a deep lover of Mocha coffee.

There is almost no café I go to without trying their Mocha Latte. I didn’t try Matcha for a long time.

Not because I didn’t want to. Life was just… life. School was busy, and café visits became almost non-existent.

But while I wasn’t drinking Matcha, I was definitely watching people drink it.

The New York girls.

The Nigerian girls.

The Pilates girls.

Everyone seemed to have a Matcha in one hand and a Pilates membership in the other. I still don’t understand the correlation between the two, but that’s fine. Before I work out, if I don’t have a protein shake, I usually drink coffee and eat something small to fuel my workout anyway.

People kept saying it was amazing.

“It’s my favorite drink.”

“I can’t believe I waited this long to try it.”

“It’s so good.”

So naturally…

I became curious.

Eventually, the day came.

I officially tried Matcha.

I genuinely didn’t know what to expect. I imagined it would have a unique sweetness or a distinct aroma like Pistachio, Lotus, Cookie Dough, or one of those flavors you immediately recognize.

Then I took my first sip.

And… Nothing.

I kid you not.

I finished the entire drink trying to understand what exactly I was drinking.

Then something strange happened.

It wasn’t disappointment because the drink tasted bad.

It was disappointment because I realized how easily I had bought into the hype.

I caught myself making excuses.

“Oh… I like the aftertaste.”

“I think it’s one of those drinks that grows on you.”

“It’s just… different.”

After weeks, actually months of anticipating this drink that had suddenly taken over my social media, I almost felt silly for falling for the hype.

But I didn’t stay mad at myself for long.

Because that’s simply part of being human.

The realization dawned on me on how we are social creatures.

We have always depended on one another to survive.

Sometimes I’ll read hundreds of online reviews about something and still remain skeptical. But the moment a close friend tells me, “It’s actually really good,” I believe them almost immediately.

Nothing about the product changed.

Its quality didn’t increase.

Its ingredients didn’t magically improve.

So… what exactly happened?

Psychology calls it herd mentality.

Our tendency to look at what everyone else is doing before deciding what we should do ourselves.

In marketing, there’s a closely related principle called social proof.

It’s the reason reviews matter.

It’s the reason seeing a restaurant with a long queue makes us assume the food must be good.

It’s the reason “10,000+ happy customers” feels more convincing than “Try our product.”

The product itself hasn’t changed.

Our perception of it has.

Matcha didn’t suddenly become more valuable because its ingredients changed.

It became more desirable because millions of people publicly signaled that it was worth trying.

Every TikTok.

Every Instagram story.

Every aesthetic café post.

Every “You have to try Matcha.”

Together, they created social proof.

By the time I took my first sip…

I wasn’t just tasting Matcha.

I was tasting thousands of other people’s opinions about Matcha.

Thousands of years ago, this instinct probably kept us alive. If everyone in your tribe started running, you didn’t stop to ask questions.

You ran too.

Today, we’re not running from lions anymore.

We’re running after trends.

Sometimes those trends are harmless.

Sometimes they’re genuinely good.

And sometimes…

We’re simply following because everyone else is.

What’s fascinating about it is that this doesn’t only happen with drinks.

It happens with careers. With opinions.

With fashion.

With relationships.

With success.

Even with our dreams.

We slowly begin borrowing other people’s desires until one day we can’t tell whether we truly wanted something…

Or whether we were simply told to want it.

Now, don’t get me wrong.

I’m not saying Matcha is bad.

You might absolutely love it.

This isn’t really about Matcha.

It’s about us.

It’s about how easily our minds absorb the beliefs, preferences, and desires of the people around us without us even noticing.

Which is why I think this matters.

The mind is like a garden.

When we leave it unattended, and other people’s ideas will grow there before your own do.

It is important to be intentional about what you allow to take root. It’s okay to remove unwanted ideas that are like weeds. Having them has no benefit to your life.

Question what you plant.

Question what you water.

And strive to cultivate a mind that is worthy of becoming a beautiful garden from the collection of Gardens, not merely a collection of everyone else’s thoughts.

Because what you cultivate there eventually becomes the life you live.

Salamu Alaikum,

Today marks six years since my father returned to Allah. This is a letter I wish I could still read to him. I can’t for now so I would love to share this here. If you’ve ever lost someone.Grief is a reminder of how deeply we loved. Remember you aren’t alone and most importantly Allah is deeply closer to you than you ever know. This is what i believe has kept me going, Alhamdulilah. Seek him, pray for the deceased and for yourself because we all don’t know when the suddenness of death can take upon a persons life.

I’d call myself Maman Babanta today, not because you call me mama, not because I have the same name as your mother — But because of the love i see in your eyes when you look at me. The gentle care you had for me. The quiet times you took care of me without me knowing. The times you became extra loud and took care of my matter and made sure it was all dealt with.

All perfect.

The world feels empty without your voice, your presence. My world always feels like it could be better but it isn’t. It doesn’t feel better because you are not in it.

Sometimes I’d love for us to sit in the living room and talk about my future, how you see me, what path you think fits me. While we watch the news and talk about the atrocities happening in our country. You loved current affairs, geography, Further maths and I took all of that in too… though you always told me I need to have more patience to solve maths🤣❤️…. I don’t think I listened to that, I gave up. Though, I got 100/100 once in it and many A’s. Also I realized I loved physics later on.

I also chose tech for my degree, till date I don’t know why but i didn’t become a doctor as you wanted. I feel like before you passed you already knew my decision cause you were already calling me Engineer Mama ko?😂😂❤️

Sometimes I’d love to see you again and how you interact with people. Your beautiful smile, your charisma that draws everyone in.

Sometimes I’d love to pray behind you as you lead us. With fear of Allah, with the right intentions, with constantly reminding and urging us to do well before our appointed time.

Your time has come and your time has already passed. I deeply miss you and I’m glad I always expressed myself.

Everyone knows you are a part of me. If they don’t know you, they don’t know me. That means, I wasn’t close to them enough to open up about how you are one of my biggest role models, how your being literally made me who I am. Your actions, your generosity, your humbleness shaped me. I’m grateful to Allah because he used you as the perfect means for me to connect with the Deen and having true love in the world.

May I get to see your face, hear your laughter, the way you sneeze, everything.

Thank you for naming me Aisha. I used to complain the name is too common but over the years I’ve fallen in love with my name. It’s also the name of Gwoggo Basiru (My paternal Grandmother) so that’s an honour too.

May Allah illuminate my father’s grave, May Allah expand his grave. May we be a source of blessings to you. May we reunite in Jannatul Firdausi. May you invite me to your big white Mansion and tell me about all the interesting things that has happened on earth and in the Akhira. May Jannatul Firdausi be our final Abode.

Let’s make a Dua for my beloved father Muazu Awaisu Muhammad.

Allāhumma ighfir lahu, warḥamhu, wa ‘āfihi, wa’fu ‘anhu, wa akrim nuzulahu, wa wassi’ mudkhalahu, waghsilhu bil-mā’i wath-thalji wal-barad, wa naqqihi minal-khaṭāyā kamā naqqaytath-thawbal-abyaḍa minad-danas, wa abdilhu dāran khayran min dārihi, wa ahlan khayran min ahlihi, wa zawjan khayran min zawjihi, wa adkhilhul-jannah, wa a’idhhu min ’adhābil-qabri wa min ’adhābin-nār.

O Allah, forgive him, have mercy on him, grant him safety and well-being, pardon him, honor his place of rest, expand his entrance, wash him with water, snow, and hail, cleanse him of sins as a white garment is cleansed of dirt, replace his home with a better home, his family with a better family, his spouse with a better spouse, admit him into Paradise, and protect him from the punishment of the grave and the punishment of the Fire.

With love,

Mama (Not the Maamah I call myself) but the Mama you call me❤️.

Most people don’t like where they currently are in life.

Comparison is the fastest way to make a person feel worst about themselves. It makes you leave your body, your circumstances and simply want to arrive somewhere else.

It could be comparison to a specific person. To a version of them you wish you were. It could be you comparing yourself to a future vision you wish for yourself.

You might wake up one day thinking, Why haven’t I arrived yet? Why are things taking time?”

You know you’ve put in effort, day in day out. You might think you aren’t doing enough which leads you to feeling more Negative about your circumstances than you were days ago.

You might look at your current life and feel so dissatisfied. There are emotions like shame, grief with a sprinkle of self loathing at where you currently are in life.

Wanting to arrive at a certain dream is human. in fact it is deeply human. Some people might shame you for it. What I think we need to realize is, in this digital age we are in, it is likely impossible to not compare yourself to people sometimes.

Comparison can be loud, peoples highlights are loud also.

Yet, comparison can become very subtle.

It could be running in your mental program without you realizing it. It could start from a time you take an action to the best of your ability then start doubting yourself. You might say things like, “I believe (certain persons name) Would have done it better, their process looks really flawless.”

It could come from shame. Quietly feeling like you aren’t good enough. Without reflecting that all that while that grief came from looking elsewhere, at someone you perceive is doing better than you.

I’m inviting you to ask yourself some questions.

1) Is there anyone I am comparing myself to in a particular area of my life?

Think about everyone you know.

If it isn’t a person then I have something different for you.

If you are feeling dissatisfied with your life and you’re comparing yourself to a certain version of yourself, these next few words I’m going to say might have a positive effect on you. It is something I’ve used myself because I hold myself to high standards as an ambitious girl. It was a phenomenon I learnt from different sources, from books to podcast and it encapsulates a general idea for people that are becoming.

Whenever you feel like you haven’t arrived, yet you are in the path to your dreams. Which means you are taking the right actions even when you don’t see the success —know you have arrived. Don’t ever think because you can’t see the tangible success to your efforts means that it hasn’t happened. If you are walking on the path to your dreams, you are already that person. The gap to be filled is simply consistency and Allahs timing.

There was a time I felt like my substack newsletter was stagnant. I was comparing myself to the version of me that saw herself having multiple people fall in love with her words and send her messages like “ This touched me” and many more interesting comments that can put a smile to a writers face.

I sat down and asked myself what my next goals were for my substack. When I realized I had these goals and prayed for it, I told myself it’s mine.

I told myself It has already happened. All I need to do is be consistent. I needed to write to the best of my ability and lead with patience.

Why is that you may ask?

It’s because I am becoming the person that gets to her goals. I am doing the actions of the person that has a big publication.

Am I saying I am perfect?

No.

I’m just saying it’s important to make yourself realize that it is okay to be in the building phase. It is not the most comfortable phase. I can say that boldly, but it is the phase your future self rewards you with things you deeply wanted.

Another example of mine was when I badly wanted to become healthier. Four years ago I’d look into the future and feel sad. I always believed I will grow up to be overweight forever.

Without realizing, after my brother asked me some certain questions why I had that limiting belief I found myself looking for an alternative.

I asked myself what if it is possible? I knew some people did it. If they could do it, why couldn’t i?

I started the journey to educating myself about calorie deficits, protein intake, adding veggies to increase your food volume, strength training, walking, cardio and many more of the fitness lingo. little by little, I started taking better actions.

My behaviors shifted which led me to getting better habits over a period of time.

It wasn’t drastic. There were many trials and errors but there was a particular time I locked in on my fitness, after two years of being on and off about it. Those three months of fully dedicating myself to it bought me the greatest results which helped me loose 18kg all together.

I currently feel happier, healthier, more energized and I’m currently living the version of myself that i thought id never see in this lifetime.

The moment i decided to start those actions consistently was the time I became the version of myself I wanted, in my mind. The gap was in the timing, having patience and showing up. This phenomenon can be applied to anything you are working towards.

So comparing yourself to the version of yourself in the future is quite useless especially when you are doing the things you are supposed to do to reach your goals.

If this resonated, Which one do you find yourself doing more of? Comparing yourself to others or to an idealized version of yourself?

Let’s get something straight. Most of our brains are fried.

Most of us don’t have an attention problem,

We have an attachment problem.

Our phones have trained us to live in constant interruption.

We wake up from sleep.

Press the alarm on our phones.

Read Duas from our notes app,

Maybe read the Quran from our phones too.

After all that you might check your social media and your emails just so you can see any “Important” message that has dropped.

If this is you, this is also me. This is also so many humans out there. In a world that thrives on our constant stimulation.

I’m writing this because I admit sometimes I allow my device get the best of me.

When I’m working, I keep my phone in my room to time myself.

Sometimes I take a “5 minute break” after my Thirty minutes deep work session. Just to see myself scrolling through my Instagram reels.

Some minutes later, I am suddenly learning how I can visit China without a visa.

I know that might not exist but i believe you get the point.

When I’m back to locking in, I just can’t seem to focus and keep remembering the Chinese reel that made me think of the tall, colorful buildings in Shanghai.

I think about how long the flight might be, and if I will ever be able to deal with the long transits.

While I’m at my desk, supposed to be working.

Then I feel frustrated and tell myself to take a longer break. Maybe I took the longer break and the next time I reach out for my phone the time reads 1pm.

It’s time for Zuhr.

All I did before then was think of Shanghai, the transits and the food that I might not enjoy in the imaginary plane I was in.

Then I start to pray.

Then I say my takbir. Maybe remembering my lord is in-front of me so I drop the thoughts.

During my prayer I remember how I was meant to do some istighfars and I was meant to read my Quran before Zuhr.

Then I find myself already in Sajdah.

My thoughts even louder than the words of my Lord in my tongue.

After I’m done praying. I sit down. Take my phone and read out some Duas.

After I’m done I stand up, I take My phone and go speak with my mom.

While my mom is talking and conversing with me, I hear pings from my friends messages. I answer them because l am close to my phone.

That’s how the day goes by with us being in a state of Ghaflah we didn’t ask for.

As Muslims, one of our biggest tests might be our phone. The small device that has lots of benefits, Duas, articles that make us even better Muslims could be the same device that keeps our eyes glued, our attention fragmented to the world around us.

Later during the day at around ten pm, we might lay down and l wonder where our time went.

As much as we get so much benefits from our phones,

I sat down and thought of a verse in Suratul Muzammil.

It reminded me that Allah already knows how difficult this life can be.

He knows our days are filled with work, travel, responsibilities, and distractions.

Yet He still invites us to return to Him.

73:20

Verily your Lord knows that you stand up in prayer a little less than two-thirds of the night, or half of it, or one-third of it, as do others among your Companions. Allah alone keeps a precise count of the night and day; He knows that you are not able to keep an accurate count of it, so He has pardoned you. Recite. then, as much of the Qur'an as is easy for you [in the night prayers]. He knows that there are some among you who are ill, and others who are travelling through the land, seeking of Allah's bounty, and others who are fighting in Allah's cause. So recite as much of the Qur'an as is easy for you; establish prayer and give zakah; and lend to Allah a goodly loan. Whatever good you send forth for your souls you will find it with Allah, better and greater in reward. And seek Allah's forgiveness, for verily Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

As much as our lives revolve around our phones, it is important to block out time for deep reflections.

For times when we are deep in flow reciting the Quran and pondering on the Tafsir of the Quran.

The point isn’t simply waking up before Fajr. It’s creating one part of the day where no notification competes with the words of Allah.

A time when your attention belongs entirely to Him.

Allah knows the day will be noisy.

He knows we have work to do, families to care for, and responsibilities to fulfill.

That’s why He didn’t command us to spend every hour in worship.

Instead, He opened a door during the quietest part of the night for those who want to return.

The one-third, two-third or even twenty Minutes before Fajr can give the most clarity, and peace of mind you will ever find.

Waking up for Tahajjud is not the easiest thing to do, especially when you are starting. It’s a constant battle between comfort and discomfort. It’s choosing between the connection with your creator Vs your sleep and tiredness. That’s why i bought you this verse to ponder on.

Allah loves us so much. He knows us because he created us. He knows we will never be perfect and that’s why this verse shows nothing but his mercy towards us.

If connecting with Allah during the day feels almost impossible, connecting with him at the time he descends closest to the world is possible.

This is also not an excuse for you to choose heedlessness in the Afternoon or in the evening.

Along the day, it is important for us to keep our tongues moist with his remembrance.

May Allah make it easy for us all to become those that give up the comforts of the Duniya for the everlasting beauty of the Akhira.

I was a Kpop fan before lots of crazy stuff happened in my life. Sometimes I hate to admit that Kpop has a soft spot in my heart as a Muslim girl that has struggled to let go of Music.

One thing I learnt from being a BTS fan was that it taught me how to see things beyond the surface. Everyone sees seven Asian men performing with different hair styles. While I see men that have personal dark experiences that came together to share their pain and experiences, and instead of stopping there. Instilled hope unto their fans, which further made them the group with one of the biggest Fandom on earth till date.

I want to write about the word ‘serendipity’. Not because Jimins Angelic Voice sang it, but because the word itself piques my interest.

Serendipity means the occurrence of finding something good, especially when you were not looking for it.

I want my life to be filled with that energy.

I want to live in a world where I keep my child like energy intact and not expect the worst from people.

I want to live in a world where beauty finds me. In the pain, in the hurt and in the chaos.

I want to live in a world where love finds me, without me ever having to beg for it.

I want to live in a world of unexpected good news, that makes my entire day better than I ever imagined.

Maybe that’s why I love the word.

Serendipity.

Not because Jimin meant it for his fans or (lover) lol.

But because of the Joy that comes with meeting someone or something you had no idea existed, turned your life a little brighter.

I hope someone reading this becomes the source of serendipity to another person. Or themselves.

Ethereal is my being, I see myself as a beautiful soul, because my maker is the source of beauty. The trees, the wind, the raindrops all add to the beauty of the world. So if the world could have all that beauty, why should I ever fail to see it in myself? Why should I ever fail to see the light in me that attracts and harmonizes with the beauty of creation.

Sincerely yours truly,

Aisha✨

Welcome beautiful soul.

Wherever or whenever you are reading this, I hope you’re having a good, calm and peaceful day. If you aren’t that’s also okay😊💛.

First off I want to introduce myself fully, properly and tell you why I started substack.

Story time!!!!

My Name is Aishatu Muazu Awaisu. Full government name. In my passport. ON my WAEC certificate. NYSC, you name it.

I am a girl that feels like I’ve lived different versions of myself in the same life.

There was a version of me that was always sad. Always felt like no one truly understood the way I thought or felt. Even as i was surrounded by so much love.

There was another version of me that was numb. I couldn’t really feel my thoughts. I hid behind humour and being the funniest in the room.

There was a version of me that felt broken — like I had fallen into a void in my heart and there was no way I could ever find happiness in the world.

Then there was a version of me that surrendered to the higher power. That surrendering helped me heal every part of me I only thought could happen when I went for therapy.

Now, there’s a version of me with new wisdom. Wisdom that came from hurt of being bullied and talked down as a child.

Maybe cause my bullies saw a light in me they didn’t have, maybe cause I was the overweight child that struggled to walk down the streets without someone calling out “Orobo” on the streets of Lagos, or the streets of my village when we go back around twice a year.

When I thought the children will embrace me cause they had not seen their friend for almost 6 months, they’d gather around and call me degrading names.

It seems sad yes I know. These are things I’ve bottled up my whole life. The girl that was once a shiny star, the head girl, the peoples princess in primary school, slowly became more quiet, and withdrew from people and lost a sense of trust in herself.

The teenage version of me had lots of anger I didn’t know where to direct it at. I was angry, I was hurt but I hid it all with my humour. Everyone called me a “breath of fresh air”. I was even named “belle”, for being beautiful “in and out”.

I learnt to accept no one wanted to see my negative emotions so I became so good at practicing the good ones and giving it out to people.

There came my late teens, I knew I needed something to change. I knew I needed lots of work on myself. I didn’t like where I was in my life. During my last few years in secondary school I came across my first self help book. And I couldn’t remember the name. All I knew is that once I finished that book. I knew I was never going to be the same again. My life changed.

During the darkest times of my life, when I was in a deep ghaflah season, my sense of security departed from the world.

I was shaken and felt like my world crashed in one minute after my father took his last breath. I closed his eyes and hugged him one last time before his Janazah happened. After that I was convinced there was no use being in this world.

With that childish ghaflah I immersed myself in the world of pop culture, rap, K-pop. Finding anyway to escape my reality that felt like was crushing by the day.

Then one call came in some time after my father passing and I had one of the best conversations with someone that changed how I saw life.

He was My Quran teacher and made me read the Quran through and through as a young child. May Allah bless him.

The teacher told me, “Aisha, your father was just a means for Allah to provide for you, now that he is gone remember who created you and provided for you. He gave you all that you have now.”

It was the best thing I’ve ever heard and the best thing that has stuck to me. From there I started considering understanding who Allah truly was.

We were taught he was the lord of the worlds and he created us but going deeper made me realize it was so much more.

Later and beyond, I got interested in the world of self development. I read lots of non-fiction books and I read the rich dad poor dad group which completely shifted my mindset around money. I also discovered YouTube and I watched countless creators day in day out so I can find the right knowledge to change the way I was. Alhamdulilahh it All helped.

I found healthy fitness content that made it easier for me to loose 18kg. I found healthy holistic health content that taught me how to use Gods given gifts from nature to heal myself, internally and externally. With certain foods, somatic movements, journaling and shadow work.

Allah guided me through that season. I did it all and that was when I started my healing journey. It wasn’t perfect but at least I started. I left friendships that didn’t align with me, I learnt how to set strict boundaries with myself that extended to having boundaries with people. The people that once didn’t know how to respect me found themselves quietly doing so.

It was all Allahs guidance and Allahs doing. Alhamdulilah

"And proclaim the blessings of your Lord." (94:11)

I’ve always loved writing. It’s the fastest way for me to understand myself and my thoughts.

The beginning of substack….

So one day I found substack from a friend and felt like I have found a luxurious resort that I’ve been looking for my whole life.

I immediately started dumping my writings that I never had an outlet for and well that’s where i currently am.

I named my publication “Inner glow hub” because I wanted every piece I put out there to represent “permission”.

Allah says “I will not change the condition of a people until they change what is within themselves”.

That’s where I decided to start with inner glow hub. A space for girls to connect and talk about different ways on how we can grow, and improve ourselves internally.

The world is a mirror to your internal beliefs. Knowing this, we can all choose better thoughts and beliefs on how to be the absolute best versions of ourselves.

It’s a journey I want to take you with me. I have a big goal for inner glow hub.

The Goal…

I want it to grow from being a small space in the corner of the internet to be a full community of women. Where we meet, discuss and learn on how to become more empowered individuals in our homes and society. I also see myself doing a podcast, hosting retreats and all that fun stuff. I’m starting bit by bit with words. With little words that can make someone think “Wow, I see a piece of myself here”.

If you resonate with this or my story, I would love for you to share this piece, restack it. Let’s reach more individuals that want to be in the inner glow hub space.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re becoming someone new, or you’re praying to become someone better, I hope you’ll stay. We’re only just getting started.

May Allah bless you abundantly.

Sincerely yours truly,

Aisha.

Hi guysss,

I came up with something interesting that has personally helped me in my own reflection and mindset journey.

It’s a phenomenon I learnt while watching a Podcast with Mohammad Al Ubaidyy and Shahrez Muslim.

These Muslim men brings the intersection of deen, psychology and how to generally live in the state of Islam.

But before I give you the prompt I have to share a little bit of my story and what I learnt from using it.

First Disclaimer: This is something I personally created and found helpful in my own reflection journey. It uses Qur’anic verses as reminders to reframe negative thoughts and strengthen faith. It is not meant as a scholarly interpretation. Just a simple tool for personal growth and self-awareness through remembrance of Allah’s words.

Second Disclaimer is: Only authentic Qur’anic verses and well-known, verified hadith should be used. No fabrication or guessing of references.

It is an AI-assisted tool that uses Qur’anic verses as reminders to help reframe negative thoughts and strengthen iman.

For example Allah says in the Quran.

“Indeed Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is within themselves”.

This made me reflect deeply on how internal beliefs shape our actions and growth.

For me one of my biggest struggle was consistency.

It was so hard for me to stay Consistent. To be honest it has been a thing I struggle with so deeply. It affected the way I saw myself because it’s a belief I held since I was younger. Along the years I grew a bit more discipline.

Now, i am consistent with my actions but my identity not so much. I still remember the young girl that couldn’t stick to anything, had no trust in herself that she could deliver anything.

Over the years, I learnt to prove to myself I could trust myself with fitness, Academics, Business and many more endeavors.

So what this Ai prompt does is, you tell it a negative belief that you know keeps popping up in your mind. It could be struggles with discipline, it could be you don’t feel worthy of having money cause you believe it’s just “Hard to come by”.

Whatever that negative belief is, you can place it and the end of the prompt. The AI will help bring relevant Qur’anic verses for reflection

For example, during my own journey with consistency, I was reminded of the well-known hadith that says:

“The most beloved deeds to Allah are those done consistently, even if small”.

So now even if I don’t think I’m a consistent person I instantly ask myself first: What would a consistent person do right now?

How do they live their lives?

Then I back it up with the knowledge knowing that Allah loves good deeds that consistent.

So I use that an an extra fuel and do what I need to do.

I hope you get the gist✨

So now for the Prompt I am going to paste it below. Please if it was helpful to you in anyway, tell me in the comments below. I did this simple exercise to some other negative beliefs I had. I kept repeating them on my morning walks and I instantly felt an expansion in my life Alhamdulilah. That is the power of Allahs words.

Of course, your mind not believe it immediately, you are overriding years of flawed thinking but already a seed is planted. Continue reminding yourself with the verses known to us from the Quran, and in sha Allah you’ll start to see a shift in how You see and interpret your external reality.

AI PROMPT:

Use only authentic Qur’anic verses and well-known hadith for reflection purposes, and avoid making independent religious rulings.

I will provide a list of my negative beliefs, fears, or assumptions about myself, Allah, life, money, success, relationships, worship, or anything else.

For each belief:

1. Identify the negative belief clearly.

2. Find a relevant Qur'an verse (and hadith if helpful) that challenges or corrects that belief.

3. Explain briefly what Allah is teaching through that verse.

4. Create a healthier, Qur'an-aligned belief that I can adopt instead.

5. Write a short daily affirmation based on Allah's words, not modern self-help philosophy.

Use this exact format:

### Negative Belief:

[My belief]

### Allah's Words:

[Relevant Qur'an verse and reference]

### What Allah is Teaching:

[Brief explanation]

### Healthier Belief:

[A belief aligned with the Qur'an]

### Daily Affirmation:

[A short first-person statement inspired by Allah's words]

Important instructions:

- Prioritize the Qur'an over opinions.

- Do not shame me.

- Do not assume my negative belief is true.

- Correct beliefs using Allah's words with wisdom and compassion.

- If a belief contains a misunderstanding about Allah, His mercy, provision, forgiveness, guidance, or love, clearly explain what the Qur'an actually says.

- Keep the response practical and easy to read.

- At the end, create a "Qur'an Rewiring Summary" containing all the healthier beliefs in one place for daily reading.

My negative beliefs are:

[PASTE YOUR NEGATIVE BELIEFS HERE]

I hope this is beneficial to you, the way it was to me.

Sincerely yours truly,

Aisha.

Time is cruel,

It doesn’t wait for you to be ready.

The announcement arrives and shakes you up.

You want everything to stop for a moment, to catch your breath so you can gather yourself, dust yourself up but no… it doesn’t do that.

Time refuses.

Time painfully keeps moving.

With the announcements,

With the knowing,

With the pain.

Everyone keeps living their amazing lives.

People laugh,

People celebrate,

People make plans for tomorrow.

Their skies remain blue while yours has turned grey.

You are standing still, trapped in a moment you never asked for.

That is why time feels cruel.

Time is cruel because it doesn’t pause for the one that lost their loved ones.

And perhaps that is one of life’s harshest lessons:

This world is not as permanent as we imagine it to be.

What we call certainty can disappear in a single announcement.

What we call tomorrow is never promised.

It keeps reminding us that the life of this world is truly nothing.

It’s all perception and an illusion.

So yes, I say it again.

Time is cruel.

But its cruelty is what reminds us that everything here is temporary.

My tadabbur below - I’m not a scholar or sheikh.

Just a girl that reflects at times and loves to talk about new knowledge she gains.

After reflecting on Suratul Haqq I came across this: Why was the Surah going deep about the hereafter?

Allah made everything clear and explained what will happen. To the people of the right and to the people of the wrong. He bought us clear lesson from the story of Ad, thamud and Firauns story once again.

It’s includes the biggest form of Clarity.

For Allah to speak about the Truth- being the Akhira. It is incredulous. It it heavy and Very important. Not to be taken lightly.

Allah said it. The world is nothing but amusement and play. The same earth that people take as too deep, too seriously — Allah sees it as an illusion and as play.

The truth being known to be the Akhira (hereafter) makes you choose. Allah has given each and everyone of us an opportunity to choose.

It is either you accept your book with your left hand or the right hand. You decide, you choose to implement habits that will benefit you.

By having faith in Allah, Giving and urging others to give out Sadaqah, striving to be an excellent Muslim, you are already on the right path.

The Akhira is a serious topic and that’s why Allah speaks so much on it. Imagine how seriously we take things in this world, imagine the creator of this whole world — it’s entirely and beyond, Showing us that the is the real reality x100.

The seriousness of it is Unfathomable.

I learnt that after reading Suratul Haqq, it is important to reflect on it. It is not there to scare us but to remind and warn us of that day.

That period where things will be as clear as day and Allahs words will come to be true to everyone. Whether they believed or not.

If you are reading this may it be a form of beneficial Knowledge to me and you and may we all be part of the people from the right.

Once upon a time, I was a little teenage girl flying across the sky from Lagos to abuja. During the holidays, I would be so happy when it was time for me to see my mom and dad.

My family friends would pick me up from school and take me to the airport.

On one particular day, we boarded the Azman Airline. At first everything seemed fine, normal. I sat at the aisle seat, not because I loved it but because a couple with their three year old baby occupied the window seat…. And I didn’t mind.

I sat comfortably, my mind in lalaland as I focused on the pack of snacks in front of me as I  waited for the plane to land.

Then something went wrong.

I noticed the cabin crew started whispering to each other, the plane started shaking forcefully,

Without warning, the plane descended abruptly.

This made the whole aircraft erupt with screams.

Babies started to cry. The woman beside me held her baby firm in her hands screaming “JESUS JESUS!!”

I still remember the fear that seized my throat, tight and suffocating, as though it had physically lodged itself there. For a moment, I truly believed I was about to become one of those names read out after an air crash… just another statistic in a breaking news headline.

Strangely, a part of me went quiet. As if it had already begun to accept it, already making peace with a goodbye I hadn’t yet spoken.

I remembered a Dua my father told me to say. He once told me saying it means that a person will l will not die that day. It was “Laqad jaa’akum”. I recited it three times and took my shahadah three times then I waited as the Aircraft kept going down.

Surah At-Tawbah (9:128)

All of a sudden, everything stopped.

The plane stopped shaking as much, the screams from everyone in the aircraft reduced and about twenty minutes later, we landed in Abuja Safetly.

Just like another day. I went home told my parents to never book Azman Air and never put me by the window seat.

From that day my fear of flying started. I showed up on multiple different occasions but I later made peace with the fear.

Today I thought of a fear that keeps people quiet, that makes people not express themselves the way they wished to. The kind of fear where you know if you are seen you will instantly be rejected.

As a girl moving into the freelance/ Agency world I am starting to pitch my services to multiple Companies and to my potential prospects for my Copywriting and creative strategy skills I’ve built over the years and I noticed the same fear that keeps people from pitching themselves was holding me shackled.

The fear of rejection could feel like death. It could feel the same way I felt when i panicked yet said my shahadah in the aircraft. Pitching to a potential client might feel so rough, similar to  the heavy turbulence that made me think I was about to fall from the sky. The turbulence so strong it made the plane vibrating relentlessly as time dragged on.

Going through the countless rejections was that turbulence. Putting out content just to see no sales must feel like the biggest punch in the life of a service provider or business owner.

What I’m starting to learn is that the turbulence is normal. I had to make peace that the turbulence will either lead me to fall or to my beautiful destination where I get to see my parents.

It’s the same a person could accept the turbulence of rejections which could lead you to the client that closes a big deal with you.

It might lead to your financial success, to abundance flowing into your life.

I’m learning that the turbulence is part of the process when you want a desired outcome. Sometimes we all need to go through a certain level of chaos to arrive at times. By never giving up,by never quitting, A person can arrive at their destination of prosperity. Turning that story of rejection into something like this piece.

It allows you to truly understand the lessons and carry them into your life moving forward.

Sincerely yours truly,

Aisha.

I woke up at exactly 3am. My eyes shot open as I reached for my phone on my nightstand. My eyes were blurry, the light of my phone screen blinding me as I tapped unto my safari and quickly tapped on the NYSC Portal.

I could hear my heart beat in my ears. The thudding so loud I wanted the moment to pass by quickly, I wanted to get over it.

I wanted to see which state in Nigeria I got posted to. To see whether one decision from the NYSC officials will make me travel on the muddy roads across the country. The roads that are spoken of in the news daily. Seeing the horrors on twitter and remembering the recent 46 kidnapped children taken in Oyo instantly made my heart thud once more.

I wasn’t ready to travel on the unsafe Nigerian roads after seeing the flyers of “Bring back our girls” once more the night before I shut my eyes to sleep.

Nothing prepared me for what I saw.

As I opened my call up letter, My eyes widened in shock. Time froze because I couldn’t believe what I just saw.

I got the state I live in. I got exactly what I wanted!

I felt my shoulders slump finally a heavy sigh escaping my lungs. The breath I didn’t know I was holding unto.

I stood up and prayed together with my mother and later she took her time to say some additional prayers to my present and future.

What you might not know is the many times my heart dropped from anxiety when I thought about my Nysc posting three weeks before. As much as I prayed, there was a quiet wretched feeling of “what ifs”.

Before I checked my portal weeks before, I got an idea on how I can improve the way I ask Allah for things. In a time where so many people easily doubt themselves, it’s so easy to project that doubt unto Allah.

This doesn’t make you a bad Muslim. It just means we need to constantly remember and reflect on his power and know who he is.

If you’re reading this post, it might be a way of him inviting you.

I recently watched an amazing podcast by Mohammad al ubaidyy and Shahrez Muslim. I got a different perspective and understanding of this word Allah has said over and over in the Quran.

“Call upon me and I will respond to you.”

Sometimes we tend to forget Allahs words came directly from him, from the source and thus, it is indeed perfect.

Allah didn’t just say call unto me with prayer. He said we should call upon him.

Who is Allah? How did Allah introduce himself to human kind?

Allah revealed to us his 99 names, And the one I want to reflect on today is a name of Allah I hold so dearly. I tug on it with my dear life.

There were times in my life I felt deeply powerless and broken. I’d go on social media and all personal development gurus will say you should tell yourselves affirmations.

I am strong

I am wealthy

I am worthy…

But there was a time in my life I couldn’t believe it. It felt like a painful lie. The type you feel like you are wasting your time just by saying it.

This name of Allah “Al Qadir” gave me permission to breath. To be human. To know I’m nothing. I am nothing without the most powerful, “Al Qadir”.

I held this name to my chest, in my lips and in my mind. Whenever I felt powerless i didn’t force myself to feel powerful. I called upon “Al Qadir”. Allah is the most powerful. His power bends reality by him saying ‘Kun faya kun’.

Everything within the heavens and earth bends unto him. Everything submits to him.

So the moment I felt a little bit of doubt. I reminded myself I am calling upon the most powerful.

He is the creator of life, the creator of the idea of NYSC and the creator of the officials. Who am I to doubt the most powerful? Who am I to think his decision isn’t what’s best for me?

I spent my days moving in the energy of Allahs mercy.

Suddenly all the whispered prayers in Arafah and beyond slowly got answered. Allah slowly bought in people to help me navigate camp without any hassle. Allah opened up doors of ease for me because he can and decided to answer my requests.

Instead of immediately asking Allah for what you want, I invite you to induce yourself in his wonderful names.

If you want more knowledge on something,

Call upon Al-Alim — The all knowing.

If you are in fear and are scared to walk alone, call upon Al Waliyy — The protecting friend

First is to surrender. We all came from nothing, and have no power over anything.

You can come exactly as you are. You don’t have to be perfect to ask.

When you are ready, you can pour out whatever it is in your heart.

In Allah infinite Knowledge he will guide you to whatever path he knows is best for you.

Maybe you’re waiting for exam results.

Maybe you’re waiting for a job offer.

Maybe you’re waiting for a prayer you’ve made for years.

Whatever you’re waiting for, Al-Qadir remains Al-Qadir.

The more I reflect on Al-Qadir, the less I feel the need to carry the world on my shoulders. I hope you also do too.

Sincerely yours truly,

Aisha.

When the comfort leaves you,

You have no where to cover your legs.

In the cold of the midnight sky,

The blanket disappears…

Your legs start to shake.

You are deep in the troublesome, worrisome world,

The pain and the harshness of it,

You start to see it clearly.

Your eyes holding back tears,

Just for those tears to make

Your throat feel tightened.

You remain baffled,

How can the world be so cruel?

How just how do I feel like I am hanging by a thread.

A thread so fragile that it could break, fall and gets missing in the soil of the world.

You have no choice but to take control of everything.

You clung to control with every fibre of your being.

You don’t wanna let it go,

As strong as the roots of the trees wanting to hold unto the soil.

When you let go you become unsettled.

The blanket is removed,

The warmth enveloping you suddenly gone.

Where are you going?

With your teeth clattering in the icy snow,

You are left alone,

To fail alone,

To die alone.

Then a light guides you.

Al-hadi guides you when you turn back to him.

You feel the warmth — like a warm hug from your mother.

And when you walk in his Noor,

It’s path lightens you up,

Like the beautiful fireworks on new years,

You suddenly turn to a new seed.

That’s the beginning of success.

Where you can drop your shoulders,

A final gentle sigh leaving you.

knowing you are in the right place.

As a girl in her early twenties, I’ve heard enough!

I graduated from my four- year degree a few months ago, and i can’t count the number of times I heard these words:

Aisha, what’s next?

Is it:

NYSC?

Marriage?

Work?

Master’s?

And let’s not even talk about the constant pressure wrapped in fear, engrained in the same people that don’t understand the idea of “just being.”

Firstly, I’m the type of person that hates sharing my future plans. To be honest, I’m sharing it here because I love anyone that takes their time to read my writing.

And for that, I always hope people get some sort of value from it.

I’m a firm believer that telling people your plans can throw you off. Not always, but sometimes it’s through Hasad (envy), or people unknowingly projecting their limitations onto your future.

I’ve noticed this pattern in my life.

Once I lost 18kg— I kept most of my pictures to myself

Once my skin cleared — I kept the details to myself

Once I started making income — I suddenly didn’t feel like showing it to the world.

When I went out with friends— I suddenly didn’t feel the need to update everyone on social media anymore.

Why is that?

I’ve come to realize it is cause I believe having too much eyes on my life can throw me off— not in the typical (Evil eye) way, but in a way where I can hear people’s opinions that pull me away from my own direction.

I’m what you’d call a neurodivergent creative, with a blend of scientific, historical, literary curiosity. I love learning and i actually learn something new everyday. I also love trying new things.

My first business was selling jewelry. I’ve been a makeup artist (still am), sold clothing, invested in the financial markets, coded (not much anymore as I’ve found writing), own a scent brand and write novels. This isn’t all but I believe by now you get the point.

I try different things not cause I’m bored but because I’m what you’d call a born generalist.

I wasn’t the girl you’d find solving hard derivatives problems or the girl actively solving hard physics problems. Instead, I’m the girl that reaches out for physics texts books, just to understand the law of gravity, the speed of light, or why Pi never ends. Or why an atom cannot be indivisible.

(As a Muslim girl, i believe the source is Allah. Ultimately, everything is under His will, and what He creates can always be beyond what we fully understand.)

In general I could be called many things. Interesting. Boring to some. Confused to many — even to myself sometimes.

But to others, I’m useful. I’m that girl people’s mothers say, “Hold on to her…she’s going somewhere.”

And to me I deeply think I’m just a person not really afraid to be imperfect.

Just cause I have graduated from university doesn’t mean hell will break loose. It doesn’t mean much to me because Allah is in control, and I answer to him. I ask, he provides.

As a Uni graduate I’m allowing myself to be confused, but on one condition… I have to move regardless.

I can be unsure about what path to take but still dedicate my time to learning a skill, even if i dont know where it leads. I believe Allah places things in us for a reason.

I can fail with my business offers and still continue marketing my products, because sitting idle will never be the answer even when you feel the urge to quit.

I can hate the idea of being a “9-5 person”, and still take Internships to learn teamwork and skills I can later apply to my life.

As a University graduate you don’t need to be perfect.

You don’t need to know and see exactly where you are going.

But you aren’t allowed to stop also, you are not allowed to turn that job rejection into the “whole world” rejecting you.

A person that keeps moving in a maze without giving up can one day find themselves out of the maze.

So here are three things I’m holding onto in this season of life:

1. Pray to God

   This is number one for a reason. Ask Him to show you your path clearly. Wake up before Fajr when you can, and speak to Him. He will answer.

2)Allow yourself to be confused. Move regardless

Buy a course, learn a skill, join community events online and offline. Always make sure you are moving even if it doesn’t make sense.

3. Stay consistent

   There will be days you don’t feel like doing anything. Pause if you need to, but don’t abandon yourself. Always return.

I hope reading this made the post graduate version of you feel seen.

What is one next step you want to take after reading this piece?

Sincerely yours truly,

Aisha.

I paced around my room slowly.

My brain picked a perfect place, a perfect time. The setting was perfect.

I was seated gracefully in a deep red Abaya, quietly existing in my own world. I was busy focused on whatever I was doing. Maybe i was sipping my drink. Maybe I was simply enjoying the quiet luxury of the evening. Either way, I was peaceful, I was perfect, like the type of girl you see and know has her life together.

Then he arrived.

Perfectly made.

His height was they type to make my chest flutter a little. The kind of presence that changes the atmosphere without trying.

He finds his way around the café.

I averted my gaze to my drink, swirling it with the straw. My focus wasn’t on the drink. My excitement heightened, like my heart could already recognized him before my brain could.

He made his way towards me and introduced himself. I wanted to remain composed internally, but his smile melted whatever stoic energy I had left.

He was a smooth talker, not the type where you can bet with your girlfriends was toxic, but the type you knew his intelligence made him a natural charmer. He asked for my number respectfully and left the seat he once sat in.

The second he walked away, my hands flew to my face as I replayed everything. From the killer smile that make my heart churn to his smooth conversation like he’s done it a thousand times.

We spoke almost everyday. Learning each others schedules. Noting each other’s red flags, asking what our expectations of the other could be.

I realized he was exactly what I was looking for. His ambition matched mine, his generosity was something that could leave a little kid admiring him. His heart was made of gold.

He felt safe.

Then after sometime the bigger questions came from him.

“Do you love me?”

“Do you see me in your future?”

And for once, the answers felt easy. The moment I let my guard down, I knew I was ready to commit.

Soon came the thoughtful gifts. He spoke to me with a type of softness that made me fall deeper. My family felt like I had finally met a man who truly valued me.

The kind of man that makes your mother emotional because she believes her daughter has found peace.

She keeps on repeating;

“Yarinyata ta samu miji nagari.”

Then came the wedding day. No expense was too much for him. He didn’t complain when sudden things came up, all he made sure to re-iterate that he was lucky to bag me as a wife.

The days went by of us discovering one another. Our love grown so strong. Love finally became familiar instead of distant.

And then suddenly…

I opened my eyes.

I was still in my room.

Nothing has changed.

There was never a drink in front of me. Not to talk of a man. There was no wedding, no love story unfolding in real time.

Life suddenly feels mundane, bland. My heart aches asking itself, will it ever come as perfectly as my brain pictured?

I feel like I’m ready to meet him, but my current life doesn’t .

And maybe that’s the strangest part about being a deep thinker.

Your mind can emotionally experience a life your physical reality has not caught up to yet.

You might grieve things that never happened.

You might miss moments that only existed in your imagination.

You might feel ready for chapters your current life hasn’t even introduced to you yet.

And that gap hurts sometimes.

Your brain knows:

“This is who I’m supposed to become.”

But your life says:

“Not yet.”

I think there are a lot more people stuck in that awkward middle phase than we show. It’s a certain energy that exists but isn’t talked much about.

Sometimes we could be too evolved for our old selves.

Too hopeful to give up.

But not yet living the life we can already see so clearly in our minds.

And maybe the lesson is…

Perfection was never the goal.

Maybe life will never arrive exactly the way we imagined it at 3am our bedrooms.

But perhaps the beauty of life is that reality can still surprise us in ways our imagination never could.

So if your current life feels behind the version in your head, be gentle with yourself.

Somethings arrive emotionally before life catches up physically.

To my naseeb…

Sincerely yours truly,

Aisha.

If you can relate to this let me know how you went about it.

Sometimes deep at night. When everything is quiet and your brain suddenly becomes louder. I lay in my bed. Sometimes I’m trying to complete an amazing K-drama (I love those) or I’m up reading a book, or even scrolling on TikTok or Instagram.

Sometimes I’m more productive, so I choose to watch a 40 minute video of a random YouTuber on how he made 100k Dollars in 2 months from a “certain simple side hustle”.

That piques my interest, because I mean come on… who doesn’t want to fix up their whole life in 2 months with some $100k? If that’s not you, that’s fine.

That’s me lowkey judging.

But as I keep watching the video I realize something.

This youtuber might have done more than what meets the eyes to reach where they are.

They most likely sold some courses. Or the craziest thing of all, they made you watch. You gave out 40 minutes of your time and finally notice the little link below that says;

“Get my free training to understand the particular way I made 100k dollars”

You input your email and just from that, it is RIP to your inbox peace.

From that moment, you are bombarded with multiple emails on this “certain” side hustle.

You look at the clock and it is 3am. Your sudden 3am curiosity has turned into a full-blown “life transformation plan” landing in your inbox every morning.

You want to drop your phone but you don’t want what comes with that.

The thoughts of the future,

The thoughts of tomorrow.

The thought of of feeling like your life should have been fixed by now. Which can make you more irritated by the second.

But nothing to be seen or found.

So what now?

I didn’t fix my life at 3am.

I just postponed it.

That’s what I’ve started to notice.

A lot of those nights don’t actually end in change. They end in information overload. New plans with Ai, New versions of “this time I’ll really lock in.”

And then morning comes… and nothing has shifted except how tired you feel.

I used to think the problem was that I didn’t have enough information.

I thought if I could just find the right video, the right person, the right system… I’d unlock something and everything would click into place.

But now I’m starting to realize something uncomfortable:

I don’t need more information at 3am.

I need action at 3pm.

Or even 9am.

Or any time I’m actually awake enough to live my life instead of escaping it.

Because 3am me is not wise. She’s just emotional, and slightly desperate for control over her life.

She wants to escape the feeling of not having one yet.

And that’s the trap.

The illusion that watching someone else’s success long enough will somehow turn into your own.

It doesn’t.

At some point, you put the phone down, and realize:

No one is coming to hand you a blueprint that works just by consuming it.

The shift happens when you stop trying to “fix everything” in one night…

and start doing one real thing the next day, even if it’s small.

Baby steps…

Not a new identity.

Not a perfect plan.

But just one honest ‘next-step’ you can repeat when you’re not trying to dose off.

So now when it’s 3am and I feel that urge again, to watch, to scroll, to “figure it all out”, I try to ask myself one question:

Will watching this make a difference in my daily actions?

Most times… it won’t.

And I put the phone down.

Not because I have it all together.

But because I’m tired of confusing consumption with change.

Tell me if you saw yourself in this piece in the comments below.

I highly suggest you don’t expect much from me.

I’ve been the type that grew up perfecting myself.

Like a chameleon that shapes form,

Like a person that could be so happy one moment then so quiet the next.

I’m the type to look around and give people what they want.

It’s a skilled so deeply honed in me, it’s the way I want to even make a living.

Some people see me and see only what meets the eyes:

The style,

The confidence,

The sheer discipline.

But they don’t see the colour coordination. The years of understanding colour theory. The tears the dropped to the lord asking for structure.

They don’t see the times I fall off.

The times I failed.

The times I sprinted out of fear of being perceived, the times I showed up whilst badly not wanting to be seen.

Of course I’ll always dissapoint you. Of course I will never be perfect for you. I change every single day.

Sometimes I try harder than I should. Some days I give into comfort and procastinate for days.

Sometimes I fall off and I don’t want to be seen. Sometimes I wanna be seen so badly I become the loudest in the room.

Sometimes I’m the best friend or lover you’ll ever have. And sometimes I could be the worst friend or lover you’ve ever had.

I’m almost at the finish line of accepting it.

I suggest you are too.

Because here’s the thing, this is what it means to be human.

And maybe if you stop expecting people to be consistent performances, you’ll finally breathe easier around them too. You won’t have to constantly monitor, judge, or brace for disappointment. You can just let people be, and see what remains.

This makes me human, this makes me imperfect.

It may not be for you.

You might hate that I don’t show up as you want me to.

But truthfully, You have been wicked to my nature.

You see me as a giver of life.

You take, take and take.

Then when I finally say enough is enough, you say:

“I didn’t expect this from you.”

Fine and good. That’s what I love to hear, because the simple truth remains.

Don’t expect much from a human.

If you want peace, stop placing perfection on people who are still unfolding. You’ll suffer less disappointment, and they’ll suffer less pressure to perform a version of themselves that doesn’t even exist.

Even the strongest people are carrying weight you don’t see. Like a Hobo traveling across harsh seasons with everything on their back.

Holding all the weight on his shoulders.

Don’t expect him to leave his clothes behind,

Don’t expect him to reach his destination ,

Don’t expect too much from people.

Place your expectations to the lord, mixed together with Tawakul (patience and trust).

And maybe, just maybe, you’ll stop turning humans into gods they were never meant to be.

But please…don’t expect much from me.

Because I am not meant to be perfect for you.

Find perfection elsewhere.

In this article you might call me many things.

You might call me angry, bitter, mean.

And to be completely honest, I accept it all.

Because as I’m writing this piece, or rant or whatever you might call it, my body is still tense.

My chest feels tight.

I am angry.

But not in the way you might think…

Growing up, I noticed my late father was sensitive to something. If he saw a person hustling, selling Gala, cold bottled drinks, or even some chewing gum in the traffic, he would pay them more than they asked.

One day, my curious 10-year-old self asked him something interesting. Cause to me, he was wasting money he could have given me to buy my favourite Jack and Jill wafers and Parago Toffee.

“Baba, why do you always give these people more than their price?”

This was my strategy to understand why he did what he did.

He would smile at me and tell me.

“Maamah,” as he called me.

“I’d rather give them even more for the choice they took.”

This would still confuse me cause my focus was on Mallam Garbas Kiosk where my siblings and neighbors would buy the best Viju chocolate drink from their fridge.

Then he would continue.

“They could have easily gotten into the “business” of kidnapping, stealing, cultism to gain money Maamah, but they are here, outside, in the sun, sweat drenching their shirts and beading their foreheads. These men and women selling on their heads have families, and they deserve to have food and basic necessities on their tables.”

Just that simple conversation I had with my dad made me see things differently.

What i didn’t realize was that his words and way of thinking were quietly shaping me to be a girl with sharper values.

In a world where it is so easy for a beautiful young girl to use her beauty, depend on multiple men in immoral ways just to provide for herself and feel safe, eventually leaving herself empty, his words made me appreciate honest work.

It made me respect the people doing the late night shifts in hospitals.

The cray fish seller in Wuse market.

The woman walking door to door to plaiting hair so she could pay her children’s school fees.

It made me respect those that put in the work.

Simple.

Now I am going to piss the average reader that notices themselves in this and honestly,that was part of my goal.

Because there are only few emotions that move people deeply, and anger is one of them.

Though yes, nowadays we see so many people standing up for themselves. Pursing goals, building businesses, working jobs, whether remote or not, writing, learning skills, creating content and trying.

But there are also many quiet people in Arewa who are not doing the things that could move the needle in their lives.

Countless times I will sit in groups and feel like the odd one out.

I’m the one that doesn’t know whose wedding is taking place or when,

I’m the one that couldn’t care less about whose boyfriend cheated on who.

And not because i believe I am special or anything.

But cause I always ask my self something during a conversation.

Will this move the needle for me anywhere?

Will this improve my life or the ones of my loved ones?

Will this benefit me in my Akhira?

If not i instantly disengage.

And that pisses people off sometimes.

I’d rather spend my days talking about how I can improve the ROI on my business.

What strategies will bring more eyes to my content.

Which events I can attend to learn from people ahead of me in business and creativity.

Because believe it or not, our time is limited.

2020 was 6 years ago.

The next 6 years are coming whether we like it or not.

Would you really want to sit with your friends in 2032 talking about how well you kept up with celebrity gossip in 2026?

and sadly with the gossip you collected, you didn’t even start a blog to monetize it.

You didn’t do anything tangible to move your life forward.

“Oh guys, don’t worry. Very soon I will lock in.”

Says the person that has announced to the world on your insta story, on your multiple groups chats but hasn’t taken the simplest action in six months.

And sadly, that “Very soon” becomes tomorrow.

Tomorrow becomes next week.

And we know where that story ends.

Wasting your time on the wrong things is what’s keeps many people stuck.

Some people with degrees and masters certificates in their hands are saying things like;

“There’s no Job so I have to wait.”

but waiting in a country like Nigeria without a plan could change you.

If you become tooattached to one way of making money, you may stay stuck for years.

There’s no use of waiting because time will pass anyway and one day you’ll realise you’ve become Certified in “waiting”.

ad no, this is not me saying:

“Don’t rest.”

“Don’t laugh.”

“Don’t gist.”

No.

I’,m saying don’t let that be all you have.

Become someone of value no matter what it is.

Build something.

learn a skill even if you don’t end up using it.

Apply for a small job at your family friend’s business.

Do anything that keeps you moving.

Because I promise you that builds a certain confidence within yourself.

Knowing you are capable of doing something changes you.

You stop feeling bitter watching other people grow around you.

You stop wasting your time tearing others down just because they’re trying.

Because believe it or not, if they remain consistent while you decide to stay stuck criticizing them, eventually you will never be in the same space as them.

When you’re growing, you don’t feel the need to tear others down and pick others apart.

Those that focused on themselves and their growth will move far and your bitterness will swallow you whole.

Okay guys I’ve calmed down a little now.

I can breathe now.

I just have so much ‘Kishi’ for the average Arewa person.

There are already too many struggles in Arewa. We don’t need to become enemies to ourselves. We don’t need to beat each other down and eventually become our own worst enemies.

We as a collective, should be coming together in love and harmony and learn together.

Now imagine this.

Twenty years from now, you are sitting in your glamorous b home and you get a call of your friend from 20 years ago.

You smile because you both made it.

You both built beautiful lives.

You both are thriving in a life, so you both decide to go out for some drinks or better yet, book a fun staycation with your other girlfriends.

All of that becomes possible because you locked in, focused on the things that will improve your future, and didn’t get “jealous and envious” of your friends and instead lifted each other up and opened each other up to opportunities.

That kind of life doesn’t happen by accident. It’s built in the small, quiet choices no one sees.

Now you all are thriving and your children are living a good life happy - perhaps in their 2040 version of their bugattis.

As for the people who stayed stuck watching everyone else’s lives while typing harsh comments on Arewa blogs about strangers that will never know them?

I’ll leave that to your imagination.

Because hopefully, that won’t be you reading this.

When they were busy on every blog, typing harsh nothings to strangers that don’t know who they are and will never know who they are.

Others chose growth, and are reaping the benefits.

So if this felt uncomfortable to read…

Good.

Not because I want you to feel bad.

But because maybe…just maybe, it’s a sign that there’s more waiting for you.

You will lift yourself up.

Lift your friends and loved ones uptoo.

And in shaa Allah, Al Fattah will open doors for you.

We suffer more in our imagination that our reality

— Lucius Annaeus Seneca.

Now go trust your lord and move.

Sincerely yours truly,

A girl who is still a little angry…

but wants better for all of us.