Her eyes were a golden brown with a flicker of light; large and doe-like. I could feel her essence of Divinity; I knew she was special. As she drew closer, my heart began to settle from the initial shock of her presence.

“Become Imperfect,” she said in an answer to my earlier pondering and questioning.

I sat this morning, talking to a friend and sharing a cup of coffee with my mind toiling around how I could lessen the burnout from my work. “I want my work to illicit vibrancy and joy” I texted to my friend, and the truth is, its just hasn't been.

I shared my latest “imperfect” painting with a friend and told her that I chose to do ART instead of going live last night. I am aware that my artwork is amateur, but if you know my story about creating art; the joy of creating has been a fundamental, high frequency – LOVE in my current experience. So, my friend offered this question: what were you processing as you created the petals, what thoughts arrived as you drew the stems?

My answer, which shocked even me, was NOTHING. I was literally just present for the entire 3 hours. I was just with my painting the whole way through and that led me to say, there is something important in that.

Right now, there is so much in my life to THINK ABOUT, TO PROCESS, TO PONDER. Living with aging parents is ALOT and I am tired.

I just want to create and be present and feel the Divine around me, motivating me in my work. I want to be ALIVE in the experience that I am having. I want to build community, yes, and I want to share incredible experiences with the Divine, but I don't want to push, to call in, to force literally ANYTHING.

I want to CREATE and let the energy of my creations become magnetic.

I want to write, draw, paint, play, BE.

I want to be ALIVE with you, just not LIVE. LIVE and ALIVE.

“Surrender,” the woman says to me. “Helena” She says.

I can hear her, but I am hearing it inside me. Like a megaphone going off inside the cells of my body.

I sit, motionless, with my heart fully settled now, just waiting for what she has to say next; I am riveted when suddenly, she disappears.

JUST LIKE THAT.

The entire experience lasted maybe 5 minutes, but these experiences stay with me, change me, elevate me. And I feel her even as I sit and write this to you.

I want to reach you. Not call you in. Not be so in your face all the time that you can't deny ME or fuck with an algorithm, so I get more attention. And certainly, not pick at your pain points to market you. I just want to reach you.

Because reaching you, tells me that you are reaching within yourself. And when I am ALIVE with you and you are ALIVE with me, life shifts. We transcend, ascend and send the signals that connection within the self in every experience is the one that creates change.

I want to share my imperfect journey, my art and channelings, so you discover your own.

I want to have fun with you and explore what is possible behind what we see.

I want to be real and feel the realness behind our connection.

I want us both to remember that life itself is a journey of exploration; of discovery and experience.

It is why I want to create the podcast. I want to not only share my weird and wild divine experiences, I want to share yours too! I want hope and discovery to become alive in each one of us.

Several months ago, a very psychic client of mine shared something special with me. Snail mail clubs. On the surface, bleh, right? But my immediate thoughts went to REAL IN HAND CONNECTION. And it spurred something inside of me; this is the answer, I thought and I rushed it. I almost forced it and I got caught up in the evidence it was showing me.

LET IT BECOME ALIVE IN YOU first. Is the channel I received. Let it marinate and unfold, perfectly and beautifully.

I let go.

And Helena, her presence, my friend's guidance and love, my client's earlier share all became very present and KNOWN in my body.

NOW.

I imagined sharing a channeled story with you on actual pages. I imagined creating a painted oracle card with a divine message on it for you. I imagined creating a beautiful magical ritual for you (and me) that would illicit joy and vibrancy in tandem with the message. And I imagined you holding it in your hand, smiling, feeling reached.

I imagined that you would be part of a community with me where you could share your heart and experience. Where showing up didn't feel like labor but rather, a place to come home to; to celebrate, laugh, cry, BE REAL.

I often imagine hugging you or shaking your hand. And that day will come when its ready but for now, do you think you would enjoy receiving a monthly letter from me sharing a channeled or spirit experience that moved me, with artwork (even amateurish) and guidance. You could build a new oracle deck month to month from my channels and art.

Maybe you could be a part of watching my art grow too and maybe I can share what I learned from it. You would also be a part of a telegram chat, where you can come in and share what you are experiencing and we can have conversations in real time. BE ALIVE with one another.

I am calling it Mystic Musings and I am going to blend my Return of the Mystic Membership with it. It will be $29 a month and the first mailing will go out on 9/25/26 but you will be part of the membership chat and all the things I am doing in there as well (psychic development too)

This feels like the most exciting project I have done to date and I would love to have you along for the experience. Let me know if you are interested!

Life is an experience worth being ALIVE and PRESENT for. Let's create magic together.

Xo, Alea

You feel the rooms (physically and energetically) you walk into so deeply that sometimes you take all that energy on as your own. Most often not even realizing it.

It feels like a “dip” in your emotional frequency.

It feels confusing because the part of you that is meant to lead just took a backseat to stay relatable in the room.

This is what we call transference, deriving from empathic ability.

I see you!!!

And we can scream “f^ck relatability” all we want, but until you realize what’s happening in the moment it’s happening…

The cycle will continue.

Here is the honest answer, my beautiful highly gifted badass:

This is a SUPERPOWER.

Your brilliance, your light, your fire is destined to light up the rooms you walk into because when you leave those same rooms…

You don’t realize the IMPACT you leave behind.

That initial whoosh of energy you feel is there to show you WHERE you are designed to lead and WHY.

It is present so you can meet it with sovereignty

and lead the room through it.

Not because you relate with the feeling,

but because you become the authority in the experience of it.

When you break this cycle…

You remember the core identity within you.

Your confidence becomes certainty.

Your gifts grow exponentially.

You lead from devotion, not discipline.

And your purpose explodes.

If this landed deeply in your body, this is exactly the kind of identity-level shift we’re diving into inside my 5-day masterclass: Five Days to Break the Limits Holding 2026 Hostage and Manifest the F&ck Out of the Life You Actually Want!!!

We’ll be rewiring the patterns that pull you out of your power, activating the identity you’re meant to lead from, and elevating your frequency so 2026 unfolds from clarity, certainty, sovereignty

Expanding your purpose & abundance

We begin Dec 28

Investment is $149 for this enormous transformative experience! Comment Super Power if you would like more information!

And patterns can be interrupted.

You witness the pattern through your behaviors, reactions, and the meaning you attach to the thing you say you “can’t access.”

The moment you become aware of it and start responding differently—even slightly—the pattern begins to shift.

Awareness + new behavior = new outcomes

I think I was born with that phrase oozing through my very essence.

Come to think of it... I was born almost a whole month late (back in the 70s when they would let you go that long), so yeah, fitting. 🤣

My mother used to tell me when I was growing up that if she told me not to go to a certain place or environment because there was trouble or danger there, I would go there just to see for myself.

And she was right!

So she learned to tell me the complete opposite of what she wanted me to do.

“I think you should quit school”—while I was failing my senior year 😆 actually made me rebel and show her that I could graduate with honors.

And I did.

Later in life, when I discovered that I had a thing called Spirit Guides, I had a dream that I was coming out of a forest into a clearing and my main guide was standing there, pointing me toward a maze.

I literally did a “uh uh” and ran in the opposite direction, leaving my guide to a slap-on-the-forehead with an EXPECTED THAT chuckle.

So yes, this form of rebellion was strong in me even to the point of my own detriment.

“You’re your own worst enemy,” my mom would say. And again, she wasn’t wrong.

But autonomy was and is so important to me,

so it made me wonder why, all my life, I felt imprisoned by others and their decisions.

I am coming up on a five-year anniversary of leaving a relationship with a man who had addiction tendencies and narcissistic, abusive behaviors.

We were together for six years, with five and a half of them in constant turbulence. He was doing what he needed to do to heal.

He had walked away from alcohol and substances. I was proud of him, but the damage was already done. The mental abuse took its toll on me, and I was no longer in love. I remember talking to a friend…

“I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop,” I told her, “and then I am leaving at the first sign!”

She responded with the most profound statement:

“Ya know… you don’t have to wait for him to do something bad to leave.”

Wait…

I didn’t need him to be a villain?

So I went into discovery, and what I learned is this:

Rebellion and autonomy are not the same thing.

Rebellion is a reaction.

Autonomy is a choice.

One is built against something.

The other is built from self.

I learned very early that the only way to feel my “me-ness” was to push against whatever someone else wanted.

That was the only pathway to freedom I knew:

Oppose → feel powerful → feel like self.

But here’s the trap:

If identity forms around opposing external authority, then external authority is always in the room.

It becomes the invisible puppeteer.

Even if people aren’t controlling you…

Even as a fully grown adult…

Even when you are technically free…

The nervous system continues scanning for something to push against.

So you live inside a constant posture of tension, defense, and anticipation.

And here’s the kicker:

If rebellion is your primary source of autonomy, then someone else has to hold the steering wheel for you to feel autonomous.

Which means you’re never actually free—

you’re just reacting to the nearest influence.

I was never imprisoned by others’ decisions.

I was imprisoned by the part of me that needed something to resist in order to know who I was.

I didn’t trust that I had the right to choose without proving something.

I didn’t trust that freedom could come from softness.

I didn’t trust that autonomy could exist without a fight.

And because of that, other people’s choices felt powerful—

not because they actually were, but because my entire damn identity was organized around responding to them.

I was living in opposition instead of in authorship.

But wait, I thought to myself…

If I’m not rebelling,

I’m people-pleasing.

It didn’t make sense how they were connected,

so I dug deeper.

People-pleasing and rebellion ARE very much connected.

They are two survival strategies that grow from the exact same root:

When a child grows up in an environment where other people’s choices feel controlling, unpredictable, or emotionally dominant, two reflexes often develop:

1. People-pleasing: to avoid conflict, tension, or emotional fallout.

2. Rebellion: to reclaim a sense of self when the pleasing becomes suffocating.

Both are ways to survive a world where other people’s needs and decisions seem to override yours.

One says:

“Let me make you happy so you don’t control me.”

The other says:

“You’re not the boss of me.”

But BOTH are reactions to someone else’s energy.

Neither one is true autonomy.

Neither one is self-led.

Neither one is rooted in desire.

They are both different ways of saying:

“Your emotional state still dictates what I do.”

When you people-please for too long, you lose your sense of self → so you rebel to reclaim it.

When rebellion creates conflict or consequences, your nervous system panics → and you people-please again to restore safety.

It becomes a cycle:

Fawn → resent → rebel → guilt → fawn → resent → rebel → guilt…

Each part is trying to solve a different problem:

The people-pleaser wants peace.

The rebel wants identity.

The autonomous self wants neither — she wants choice.

I wasn’t taught how to hold choice.

I only learned how to react.

So the nervous system oscillated between the only two tools it had.

This is the breakthrough

People-pleasing is NOT the opposite of rebellion.

It’s the SHADOW of rebellion.

Rebellion says:

“I won’t let you control me.”

People-pleasing says:

“I won’t let you be upset with me, because then you have emotional power that feels like control.”

Both assume the other person’s reaction matters more than your desire.

Both place the power outside of you.

Which is why:

Even when I rebelled, I didn’t feel free.

Even when I people-pleased, I didn’t feel safe.

Because neither strategy was mine.

They were reactions — not choices.

True autonomy is the third path.

My choices are mine and not because I’m pleasing or rebelling, but because I’m sovereign.

It’s neutral.

It’s calm.

It’s rooted.

It doesn’t need permission or justification.

It doesn’t need villains or heroes.

It doesn’t need to perform goodness or resistance.

It simply chooses.

Here’s the liberating part:

The moment I stopped needing a villain to rebel against,

I stopped living inside other people’s stories.

I left him because I chose myself.

You get to choose from presence instead of protest.

You get to move from desire instead of defiance.

You get to feel free without running.

Your autonomy isn’t something you have to protect

it’s the something you get to embody.

All air and fire.

And when they say Aquarians need their alone space… listen, there *will* be fire if that space is threatened.

She doth breathe the dragon flame, for sure.

I crave the quiet.

It’s a precious place where my thoughts drift into the quantum, where I ground my nature, where I play with perspectives and visionary dreams.

I find the Divine there, especially in nature.

Today, when I called Her in, there were no whispers.

No booming words of guidance.

Just Presence.

She sat with me in the space, honoring the quiet with me.

I sat outside, peering into the graying sky.

The air was damp and slightly chilled.

Even the birds went silent, leaving room for the breeze to move through the trees, signaling a storm ahead.

It was all so captivating and beautiful in its own way.

And then, in a forest of deep green pines, I noticed one small tree.

Her red leaves waving boldly in the wind.

It was as if she wanted the world to know that even though she was small, not yet fully grown… she was dynamic enough to stand out in the crowd.

I felt her.

I acknowledged her.

I understood her.

Because the Goddess we search for within doesn’t just exist in the mightiest of trunks.

She is often found in the little branch reaching out to claim her space.

And don’t we all possess both?

The strength of the mighty trunk

and

the urging courage of the reaching branch?

Never doubt the potential of your desires just because others have already reached their height.

Stand among them —

Tall,

Included.

Your desires are divine and…

Your unique flair belongs.

And it might just be what makes the whole forest stand out.

Cruella The Virus Sorceress.

I have been concerned around my business and financials because my business has taken a back seat to Cruella; paused launches, reschedules, unable to fully meet obligations and not showing up out of energy.

I have been using my arsenal of spiritual tools to soften and heal the experience, calling in pink divine healing love, taking time off from my business (disappearing completely) drinking more water, eucalyptus steams, vitamins, resting more, eating well….

You know the drill

But Cruella TVS is sneaky. She hides and then comes back with vengeance. Today, I waved the white flag of surrender, and I heard a whisper…

Call HER in. It has been longer than a minute since I have communicated or properly channeled in the Goddess. I miss Her. Just like any feminine natural energy she can come in offering one of her many aspects.

Fierce & Firey – The Warrioress ready to wave her swords and slice through the bullshit

Seducing & Romantic – The Temptress leading me to dive into the magic of my own feminine

Mothering & Soft – The healer, love a reminder to be more graceful

The Crone – Old wise with mentorship leading me to tap into my own wisdom

These are just some of my favorites. And I haven’t even “called” her in yet, but I can feel her edging closely by just thinking about her, writing about her, remembering her. The air is shifting, my ears ringing and my heart is at peace.

This is purposeful. A reminder that intention is everything. For me, for you. It’s just not as complicated as one might think or made to believe. She is available to all of us.

I am a clairaudient Medium and I can hear the whisper…

“I am here. Never far, you see, I am in your heart. I am here”

From her tone, I can sense she is embodying both Mother and Crone.

“Be Soft my love.” But, I am feeling lost, I tell her. This virus came at the heels of scaling in my business.

“NO” she says, “It came at the point you were pushing out of alignment.”

“There is a transition happening and you are resisting it, haven’t you noticed?”

The truth is, I have noticed. I felt it but I have had no direction in moving forward, so I have been pushing on.

“The Virus is you,” she continues, “calling you back to care for yourself, to get quiet and to focus on what is truly in your heart. This is not a punishment of the self, it’s an opportunity to remember what is most important, right now.”

She continues, “she, the you that you call Cruella is not cruel, you had to be led to surrender because surrender is the right answer.” She could sense my questioning.

“Can you have faith in your abundance and purpose at the point of surrender?”

I thought… No force. No control. It is terrifying. To give full faith to the cosmic force of the divine universe. But, I thought more….

I am at a point where I am left with no choice. I am at surrender. There is zero clarity of what is next, zero certainty of the future. I felt called to write, and to write with full vulnerability and openness, I felt called to channel Her. And as I look down at the clock, it reads

1:11

Of course it does.

“Will you let go?” she asks and on Spotify in the background, Billie Eilish sings “Lets just let it go” in the song WHEN THE PARTY IS OVER

None of it is coincidence. It is how the divine works. And I am feeling held.

I closed my eyes and just stayed extremely present. Feeling a soft cool air moving over me like a blanket. I get a vision of red lipstick and long manicured red nails, knowing that red is the color of confidence, I understand that she is asking me to have confidence in my surrender.

I am always supported, loved, and cared for. A reminder. This is a pause, not an ending.

I know this when I am present. I forget when I am looking for or trying to control evidence outside myself. We all do.

When the “I should be’s or shouldn’t be’s” take over the mind. When the voice of the ego is trying to come up with plans to keep you safe or comfortable in your stuckness because it can’t perceive any ideology other than where we have been.

It reminds us of what isn’t possible based on past experiences or what we are not currently experiencing.

Lack mindset says: pay attention to how you see it working in the outside world, take charge, control the outcome, it can only come in through these avenues and it needs to look exactly like this (some scenario it comes up with)

Abundance mindset says: pay attention within. Listen. Follow the intuitive nudges. Let the divine control the outcomes, it can come through so many different avenues and it can be bigger and better than you could have ever dreamed of.

For now, I am getting an intuitive nudge to call this blog: Conversations with the Goddess. I am being called to share my connections with her, my healing, my glow up, my downloads and anything else that comes through.

My only ask of you is simply this. Stop for 3 minutes today and focus only on your breath being very present with yourself. Honoring the journey of what is and asking for guidance to come through intuitively. I am going to ask you to not just have gratitude for your life and what it but to create small acts of appreciation for it. To give yourself love and grace. And to remember that Divine is always present with you. Celebrating you, loving you and wanting you to have the best experience here on our Earth.

With Love,

Alea

I sat staring at the obituary notice. No memories. No tears. Completely apathetic.

I read off the names of surviving children and grandchildren. Of course, there was no mention of the daughter he desperately searched for and couldn’t find.

It said he died of a long illness, and my first thought was...

He knew he was going to die and still didn’t bother to find me. The gravity of reality set in and any hope I had was completely gone.

Not knowing my birth father mattered to me. It was like a huge chunk of my identity was missing.

I would pretend that it didn’t and save face for my mother, who made a decision to keep me as far away from him as possible.

He was an alcoholic who physically beat the women in his life.

And I knew the story. It was the one that had lived like background noise in my mind for years, until that moment when it demanded to be remembered.

Of how he threw my mother down a flight of stairs while she was seven months pregnant with me; an event that led her to choose homelessness instead of comfort and rebuild her life from there.

She wasn’t married to him, so in some ways it was “easy” to walk away. No divorce. No legal ties. Just a woman choosing survival over violence even though it meant sleeping in her car through the frigid Massachusetts winter.

I couldn’t be more proud of her and yet my gratitude was complicated. I was grateful that she left him, but angry that in doing so, she also erased his presence from my life.

My mother kept zero pictures of him and made it extremely difficult for me to find him. He had a common first and last name.

She couldn’t “remember” his middle initial or his birthday — which was total bull coming from a family of astrologers.

We knew everyone’s birthday along with their names!!

So over the years, I would probe her gently and get pieces of information to privately add to my search. But I always wondered (actually hoped) that the original story was false.

I imagined my mother had a scandalous affair with someone important and even thought I knew who it was.

I imagined this man would show up at important events in my life, hiding in the audience at plays or high school graduation, watching me from afar just to make sure I was okay.

Staring at the obituary, I knew that none of it was true. The evidence was staring back at me.

I just wanted a picture — as odd as that was — and none was included in his obituary.

So I started the journey of looking for my half-siblings and found them all on Facebook.

It would take me years to reach out.

I would watch those reality reunion shows and bawl my eyes out. I would read stories of siblings meeting each other after 50 years and bawl my eyes out.

So when I finally reached out, I was shaking. My heart in my throat but ready for my own reunion story.

Turns out....that door was also closed. They wanted nothing to do with me, other than to let me know the man was indeed an abuser.

I asked for a picture.

I didn’t get one.

It took me longer than a minute to regulate all that but I am not angry with them.

Disappointed? Yes.

But I don’t know their journey nor their reasons. Their pain, their struggles, and their burdens were all unknown to me.

I wasn’t their responsibility or theirs to fix or complete.

There has been much healing and many tears over the years. Many unanswered questions I have had to let go of.

To say I have completely healed would be a lie. My life journey has mirrored the male abandonment wound many times.

The largest being my relationship with God after leaving the toxicity of the church and my fear of being abandoned by the most “supreme father.”

I found comfort in my spiritual and mystical experiences and gifts. I found love and welcoming in the Goddess.

I have healed the relationship with my mother and the many mistakes that she and I both made. I am grateful for the opportunity to do that and to continue growing my relationship with her.

But God was always there, though truthfully, it was the fear of His punishment of absence that lingered in the background.

To heal this relationship, I have (and still am) healing my relationship with my father.

And I realized that my life journey was never about finding my father.

The journey was to find me in his absence.

I used to say, in complete rebellion, that my father was the one who lost out on a good and loving daughter.

Truth: because he didn’t know what he lost, he didn’t lose.

And neither did I.

I forgive him because I deserved better.

Period.

My mother made some mistakes, sure, and our relationship was a bit murky for a while, but she did right by me, by herself and gave me a better life.

My journey is to be ever-present. Now. Right now. And appreciate the next step. Appreciate myself. Appreciate the love that surrounds me now.

And always choose to be the best version of myself in each moment.

Because that’s where our power lives. Not in the stories that shaped us, but in how we choose to live beyond them. We may not all have the same kind of father wound, but every one of us carries a story that once defined us. The freedom comes when we stop trying to define ourselves and start remembering who we already are — whole, worthy, and infinite.

That leads me to Divinity.

God.

Love.

And what’s present.

Not what is missing.

It was a Friday morning. My neurologist office called me to tell me something had shown up on my Head MRI. Something they needed to discuss in person. First thing Monday.

No details. No clarity. Just the space in between.

I was left alone with one terrifying thought: “What if it’s bad? Whatif it is a tumor?”

That weekend became my first real encounter with mortality. It wasn’t abstract anymore. It was immediate. Personal. And I was standing right in the center of it.

I was afraid of what I hadn’t done.

I thought about how I never learned to swim because of a near-drowning incident when I was a teenager. I thought about my son, who was only 14 years old at the time. I was a single mom. What would happen to him if something happened to me?

And I thought about the things I hadn’t said. The ways I hadn’t yet fully lived. The parts of me I had been saving for "later."

Mortality will strip away the noise and show you what really matters.

So, on Sunday afternoon, I sat outside in the blazing summer sun and closed my eyes to meditate.

That’s when everything changed.

Almost instantly, I felt a coolness settle over me like the temperature in my body had dropped. And in my mind's eye, it began to snow. Gentle flakes falling slowly. I could feel myself shift into alpha state, slipping away from the heat of the external world and into something sacred.

And I was aware. Deeply aware. The contrast was surreal: the hot sun on my skin… and the internal experience of snowfall. I knew I was entering a profound spiritual space.

And then I was lifted.

Up into the sky.

Up into space.

Up into a brilliant white room, radiant and still.

My spirit guide team was there, gathered around a table. And as i moved closer, i realized that table was a map.

They called it my LIFE MAP

Half of it was already drawn: winding roads, mountains, obstacles, detours, green lights, and stop signs. I was shown where I stood and told, I was right at the center.

I asked, “If I’m here at the center of my life, why isn’t the rest of the map filled in?”

They showed me something that would change me forever.

They played an animation.

In it, every step I took into the future began to light up the map. My actions filled in the story as I went.

But no matter what path I chose, the major life experience the blocks, the gifts, and the initiations I had signed up for before I came into this life… they were part of the terrain. They would be there, no matter which direction I took.

There was no wrong decision.

Each path I could take was still a path toward wholeness, toward completion.

And at the end of the map? No matter how many routes or detours I chose?

I would always arrive at the place I was meant to return to.

Monday Morning…

The next day, I walked into my neurologist’s office.

And the verdict was a benign brain cyst on the right side of my brain stem

Surgery would be too invasive, they said. But I wouldn’t need it. We could manage it through pain medication and physical therapy.

I exhaled.

Not just from relief but from deep knowing. Because after that meditation… I knew I was still on the map.

I wasn’t done.

What I learned is that your life isn’t fully written before you begin.

You are not here to follow a perfect plan.

You are here to walk with presence, with courage, with trust.

Every decision you make, every time you choose to move, the path illuminates. The road reveals itself. And the spirit world meets you there.

If you are standing in uncertainty, wondering what’s next, let me remind you:

✨ You are already on your map.

✨ You are not behind.

✨ You are not lost.

✨ You are being met in every step.

And one day, you’ll look back and see how far you came; how even in the not-knowing, you were always exactly where you were meant to be.

And here's the truth: I have been inconsistent with my meditations. Once considered one of my most favorite practices (and a practice that has supported my Divine connection) it has almost felt more like a chore than it has felt like a purpose.

And that's how I know I have not been in full alalignmt and why it's important to seek getting back into alignment.

So this evening, I turned on the higher frequency music, put the fan on low, dimmed the lights and closed my eyes.

The first thing I noticed was that my breathing was shallow; almost anxious. And because I don't label my emotions as good or bad but rather guidance zones, I didn't push the feeling away but I didn't let it take over either.

[ [ When we stop labeling emotions as good or bad, we allow them to move through us instead of define us. Emotions aren’t personal failures, they’re directional signs. Shallow breath might point to fear, urgency, or old trauma surfacing. Meeting it with presence not judgment creates space for healing instead of suppression. ] ]

Instead, I placed my hand to heart and deepened my breath. Tears flowed without any specific reason. And I just let them until they stopped.

Gathered myself and started again.

I started to experience that familiar shift from BETA to Alpha, but I was still wrestling thought when I received a fleeting image of Jesus with the Crown of Thorns. I pushed it away thinking that I just had a conversation with my friend who had a dream of Jesus… maybe I made it up.

I snapped back into full awareness. Opened my eyes and took a deep breath. AGAIN, I started thinking...

I wonder what Spirit is asking me to share?

“Meditate with the intention of meditation,” I told myself.

I closed my eyes once more, breathing with intention. Intentional meditation only.

The familiar switch to Alpha presented me with an image of the face of a horse. Who placed his snout all up in my field of vision.

It felt...playful. Not at all as serious as I was making this experience.

[ [ Play is sacred. We often think our spiritual practice has to be heavy or profound to be 'real.' But the Divine will show up with a horse nose in your face if it gets your attention. Humor is a valid form of guidance. The moment we let go of performance and perfection, we’re available for magic and joy. ] ]

Swirling images, Spirit dancing around.

I slipped into Theta so deep (maybe even Delta) because I remember nothing! But was alerted back to reality by my cat Zeta who was annoyed that I wasn't giving her any attention 🤣

I felt lighter but still left curious.

Why does any of this matter? Why would it matter to you?

And I’m sitting here with thoughts that feel like PERMISSION.

The Divine does speak directly to us through our thought blocks of the brain.

[ [ This is a core spiritual principle: Spirit often speaks in thought blocks. These are not random passing thoughts they interrupt, linger, or loop with weight. They carry a charge. If a thought keeps nudging you, especially in stillness, it may not be your mind, it may be your message.] ]

Could it be that I don't need to answer this for you?

Is THIS enough? Or should I try to make it better? More polished and perfect?

And then it hit me.

Maybe you find yourself here, drowning in the same "perfection"-like thoughts that lead us all into performance.

And the image of the horse face—all nose and teeth—crowding my vision comes into focus.

I give it to you.

Playfully, with the intention that it leads you as it’s meant to.

Day 1

Because you know you are meant for more. You can feel it in your soul. You were chosen. You have a big message. But instead of stepping into it, you hesitate. You overthink. You wait for the “right moment.” And what happens? Another week, another month, another year goes by… and you’re still playing small.

Why? Because you’re stuck in a cycle of waiting to feel “ready” and because you are paying attention to the wrong things. Hello ego!

The Truth Bomb:
💥 Readiness is an illusion. You're ready now! You insanely gifted witch!
💥 Confidence isn’t something you wait for—it’s something you create. You only gain confidence in action!
💥 Success isn’t about knowing all the steps—it’s about taking the first damn step. and the big one -

💥 You don’t realize the momentum until its realized. But your too damn busy predicting future results based off of past failures. Stay in the now. Create now and let the momentum take care of itself.

I see this every day. Women who say they want more but won’t even bet on themselves. They’ll invest in things, but not in their own expansion. They’ll wait for a sign when the sign is their own damn desire. Divine planted but you doubt. The divine universe moves when you do.

When I am playing small, I can feel the constriction. My business, my purpose feels hard, it feels pushed and its not in overflow. If you are really paying attention in these moments you will notice your attention is on what everyone else is doing ( creating comparisonitus), your external results ( and pushing against your own flow and depleting your confidence).

So here’s the shift: You have to decide that “playing small” is no longer an option. And it really is that simple.

You love on the parts of you that hold fear and you courageously-

You step into it NOW. You make moves NOW. You tune your vision into your own lane. You look at your desires ( not proof that it will work). You start thinking, acting, and embodying the version of you who already IS playing bigger.

🔥 Because SHE isn’t waiting. She’s taking up space, making impact, making money, and living fully in her power.

Your Move:
Ask yourself:
➡️ What’s ONE thing I keep saying I want, but I’m too afraid to go all in on? You ask, “What if I did go all in?” You can not succeed if you don’t - so you might as well give yourself a shot
➡️ What’s ONE step I can take TODAY to shift out of hesitation and into action?

AND THINK ABOUT THIS -

If you are not stepping into your purpose, the clients who are ready for the transformation you were destined to give them - someone else will deliver them if you choose not to. The universe isn’t waiting for you to decide either.

👉 If you’re done waiting, I have exactly what you need. I’m Her Daily Boost is your daily kick-in-the-ass to stop playing small and embody the version of you that gets what she wants. Start shifting your energy. We start on 3/3 get on the waitlist here ➡️I’m Her info and waitlist