This is Part 3 of The Future Is Group Chats—Not Podcasts, a four-part series about why curators, tastemakers, creators and founders should stop building around feeds—and start building curated spaces they control.

If you want to launch a curated group chat that grows your audience and makes you $$, my step-by-step course shows you how to start in as little as one week using my ALGOSHIELD™ framework. [Start here.]

Click here for parts 1 and 2.

We often talk about social media as though the problem is that we spend too much time on it.

But that is only part of the problem.

The deeper issue is that we digitized human life without building technology that understands how human life actually works. We reduced identity to profiles, relationships to buttons, attention to views and social connection to an endless stream of disconnected content.

Then we fed all of it into a machine designed to keep us pulling in for the next reward.

This is irresponsible social infrastructure: technology that has embedded itself inside our relationships, identities, reputations, livelihoods and access to opportunity—without accepting responsibility for how its design reorganizes those parts of human life.

These platforms still behave as though they are optional products we occasionally use. But they now function as our primary social infrastructure.

And infrastructure should be judged not only by whether people use it, but by what happens to people when they have to live inside it.

Here are five ways irresponsible social infrastructure turned your social life into a slot machine.

1. It Convinced Us the Internet Was Somewhere We Went

Most of our technology was built under an old paradigm: the internet is a destination.

You go online. You log off. You enter the “digital world,” then return to “real life.”

But those separate worlds no longer exist.

The internet runs through our work, money, relationships, dating lives, identities, reputations, safety and access to opportunity. Logging off does not remove its consequences.

First, we digitized parts of physical life. Mail became email. Stores became websites. Photo albums became profiles. Conversations became comment sections.

Then those digital systems began reaching back into the physical world and reorganizing how we live.

The internet is no longer representing life from inside a screen. It is infrastructure running through life.

7 years ago, I published a video essay called “There Is No Offline”.

The argument wasn’t that we should spend more time online. It was that “logging off” is the wrong metaphor—and believing in it might be what keeps us building bad internet products.

The internet is no longer a place you visit. It’s a presence running through your work, relationships, money, identity and physical life. So the real question isn’t how to escape it. It’s how to make it serve you.

If the internet is infrastructure you cannot simply leave, how do you keep your business from becoming trapped inside it?

That is one of the many high-risk problems ALGOSHIELD™ was designed to stablize. See how here.

2. It Reduced Living Relationships to Buttons

Human relationships are complicated and complex.

They change over time. They move through different levels of intimacy. They can become dormant without being over. Sometimes people need distance without wanting a permanent ending. Sometimes blocking someone is not social drama—it’s a safety decision.

Social media does not understand any of this.

It treats relationships like simple commands:

Follow or unfollow.
Friend or unfriend.
Like or unlike.
Block or unblock.
Connected or disconnected.

But human relationships are not light switches. They are living systems shaped by history, context, community, power, obligation, intimacy and safety.

You can see the consequences of this failure in Meta’s own infrastructure.

According to Meta, contact suggestions may be influenced by contacts uploaded by you—or by someone else. Blocking one profile may not automatically block every other profile that person controls. Even “People You May Know” cannot be permanently removed from the Feed.

The system can execute a command without understanding the relationship behind it.

A block might mean, “I never want this person to find me again.”

The platform may interpret it as one disconnected data point it can eventually reconstruct.

That is irresponsible social infrastructure.

These are not harmless light switches. They are controls attached to a complicated social system whose back end none of us can see.

3. It Flattened Your Complex Human Identity Into A Small Handful of Rigid Profiles

Human identity is naturally contextual.

I am not exactly the same person with my family, my closest friends, casual acquaintances, romantic partners, clients or a room full of strangers.

That does not make me inconsistent or fake. It makes me human.

Healthy identity includes different levels of access, disclosure, intimacy and expression. We need those boundaries to make our relationships manageable.

Social media flattened those identities into a single profile.

Your family, friends, exes, coworkers, customers, potential employers, romantic interests and complete strangers can all occupy the same audience. Every post is expected to represent the entirety of who you are to everyone at once.

How are you supposed to attract a lover, impress an employer, reassure your family, communicate with your friends and entertain strangers through the same profile?

You aren’t.

I was talking about this as early as 2018: social media had made our family, professional, romantic and social relationships unmanageable because the infrastructure did not properly understand human identity.

One profile was never capable of carrying every version of you—so why are we building entire businesses around one?

ALGOSHIELD™ offers a different way to organize your identity, audience and business. Build the easy-to-follow system in your business here.

4. It Started Showing Us Information (And People’s Lives) Out of Order

The 2010s internet was largely organized around people you intentionally followed.

You saw the same people repeatedly. Posts appeared in a recognizable order. Context accumulated. You generally understood who you were looking at, why you were seeing them and how one moment connected to the next.

The 2020s internet is increasingly organized around algorithmic prediction.

We see strangers, isolated clips, missing backstories, old posts, reaction videos, partial arguments and conclusions without beginnings. The sources constantly change, and the context resets every few seconds.

Technically, we are watching more than ever.

But are we actually following?

To follow once meant both keeping up with a person and understanding the progression of a story. The current feed has weakened our ability to do either.

What happens to your business when people keep encountering your content—but can no longer follow your story?

ALGOSHIELD™ shows you how to rebuild the continuity the feed removed. Learn how, here.

5. It Made Every Post Feel Like Starting Over

The reels are made from people.

A stranger’s face. An ex’s engagement. A friend’s vacation. A celebrity’s breakdown. A creator’s confession. A tragedy. A joke. A birth announcement. A war. An advertisement.

Pull again.

The next post might make you laugh, frighten you, validate you, anger you, turn you on or make you feel left behind. You do not know what is coming, which is exactly what keeps you scrolling.

For creators, the same variable-reward system operates in reverse.

Every post becomes another pull of the lever:

Will this one reach people?
Will this one go viral?
Will my own followers see it?
Will anyone remember who I am tomorrow?

Social media once gave creators a greater sense that their effort was accumulating. Repeated exposure helped people learn who you were. Followers represented some level of future access. Every post felt like another brick in a structure you were building.

Now, each post starts closer to zero.

A post can reach a million strangers without building a durable relationship with any of them. A viral moment can make the post bigger without making the creator’s platform stronger.

Your work is still compounding.

It is simply compounding for the platform.

What if your next viral post could make more than the post itself bigger?

See how ALGOSHIELD™ turns volatile attention into an audience system designed to compound.

The Problem Is Irresponsible Social Infrastructure

Social media companies want the influence of infrastructure with the accountability of entertainment products.

They organize our identities, relationships, reputations, livelihoods and access to opportunity—then measure their success by whether we keep scrolling.

That is irresponsible social infrastructure.

The problem is not simply that the feed is addictive. The problem is that we have allowed systems designed to maximize reaction to become the infrastructure through which human relationships are managed.

Responsible social infrastructure would preserve context, respect boundaries, accommodate complex identities and help relationships accumulate over time.

Instead, the feed scrambles our social lives and hands them back to us as variable rewards.

Until better infrastructure exists, we need to become more intentional about what we allow these platforms to own.

Use feeds for discovery—but build somewhere your identity, context, access and relationships can actually accumulate.

Protect Your Work With ALGOSHIELD™

ALGOSHIELD™ is my system for operating inside irresponsible social infrastructure without allowing it to control your entire business.

It helps you turn one strong source of truth into multiple pieces of content, spend less time feeding algorithms and move people from rented feeds into direct channels where relationships and context can grow.

The goal is not to disappear from the internet.

The goal is to stop pulling the lever and hoping the platform gives your own audience back to you.

Learn more about ALGOSHIELD™ and get access here.

ALGOSHIELD™ helps you protect your business from destabilizing algorithm changes by building around livestreams, conversations, group chats, and internet assets you can actually control.

Click here to ALGOSHIELD™ your business.

If your feed feels dead, stop trying to revive it. Learn how to build where your audience can talk back with ALGOSHIELD™.

Work with me: ✨🪞 Level Up Your Image, Network & Business

Feeling stuck with what to do with your image, social life and business? I can give you strategic advice and feedback that’s helped everyone from artists to founders achieve visible and transformational results. My advisory is laid back, honest and easy to follow and understand. If you’ve been looking for outcomes and getting no luck with Chat-GPT, Claude or the rest of the internet’s creepy business coach scammers, your last bet might be a crazy b*tch like me. ☺️

What’s (currently) available:

1:1 VIP “Ask Me Anything” Strategy Session (1 hr)
Wanna glow up your network, image, or business? Ask me anything — we’ll co-create a strategy/game plan that works just for you and achieves the exact results you’re looking for. People who are ready to sign up today get a special discount price if you email me at alex@alexwolf.co in the next 24 hours.

‘How To Be A Socialite’ Course $97

Join My Group Chat! 💬 🪞(it’s free!—spots are limited)

Want a cooler “feed” to check every morning? Want a cooler place and more engaging place to spend your scrolling time? Want a chat room full of interesting people (including me 🤭) to get and share takes about culture, business, internet and life with? Join my group chat 💬 🪞! Space is limited. Sign ups are given access in order they sign up in. Get on the list now! Click here!

Watch my latest LIVE 🔴: GRWM While Me & The Chat Discuss Jay-Z’s Ghost Rollout

My Instagram

My Tiktok

This is Part 2 of The Future Is Group Chats—Not Podcasts, a four-part series about why curators, tastemakers, creators and founders should stop building around feeds—and start building curated spaces they control.

If you want to launch a curated group chat that grows your audience and makes you $$, my step-by-step course shows you how to start in as little as one week using my ALGOSHIELD™ framework. [Start here.]

Everyone’s complaining that their feeds and engagement feel dead.

No life. No activity.

It makes you feel like you’re talking to yourself. But what if the problem isn’t your content? What if the environment itself is dying?

Dead Internet Theory argues that much of the internet’s activity is now automated. My Live Internet Theory asks the more useful question: Where did the humans go?

Human beings repel death and seek life. When an environment stops feeling alive, we move toward the places where people are still present, responding, and participating.

Here are nine things you need to understand about where the life of the internet is moving next.

1. Dead engagement is a symptom of a dead internet.

Bots now generate 53% of web traffic. At the same time, engagement and organic reach are collapsing across the major social platforms. But the humans haven’t disappeared. They’ve moved toward the parts of the internet where activity still feels real: livestreams, comment sections, and group chats.

2. Younger generations are already climbing out of the rubble.

Gen Z and Gen Alpha are young—and unruined enough—to naturally gravitate away from what feels dead and toward where the internet still feels alive. Yes, they might be terrifying, annoying and anxiety-inducing, but all the reason to observe them. They’re leaving our era of polished, prerecorded feeds for livestreams, chats, gaming, and participatory spaces. Youth follows life. We should take notes.

3. Prerecorded content requires more and returns less.

The millennial internet trained us to script, film, edit, polish, and post. That made sense when feeds reliably distributed what we made. Now, hours of production can result in less than 1% engagement. Meanwhile, ten people watching you live are not scrolling past you. They’re actually watching. Another example of how we’ve been conditioned out of natural behaviors, such as valuing real human attention over metrics meant to represent it.

If you want to create more connection without creating more content, learn how inside ALGOSHIELD™

4. Build the room before you build the show.

Starting a podcast made sense when timelines were chronological, humans outnumbered bots, and social platforms were more generous about allowing people to travel to outside links. Today, a new podcast requires equipment, editing, guests, clips, and distribution before you know whether anyone wants the conversation. A group chat lets you gather the audience and test the idea first. The podcast successes you see today are harvests from old infrastructure—not fruits of the current era. We’re moving too quickly to reliably copy the people who came before us. We’ve been forced to figure out new rules every time.

Interested in starting a group chat for your business? ALGOSHIELD™ will show you how to build the build a group chat to grow your brand at any scale. Learn more here.

5. We’re scrolling more than we’re watching.

I don’t know who we think we are, but we don’t process databases like computers. We’re human. We can process what we ate for lunch today at max. There’s simply an normalized epidemic of literal TMI that my culture is too blind to notice. I’ve tried to point out how much of a public health risk this is and that is dangerous. Information overload creates mental exhaustion and decision paralysis. We keep swiping in search of something more engaging, while spending less time engaging with anything we find. Chats and livestreams can turn that restless attention into a manageable participation.

6. Notifications have direct access to our nervous systems.

A bank alert, an Amazon delivery, a message from your ex, and a meaningless Facebook memory all arrive on the same dashboard. Most of these notifications do not deserve immediate access to us—but they receive it anyway. Imagine what a timely, personal notification from a conversation your audience actually values could do.

7. Everyone is online. Nobody’s talking.

Six billion people are online, yet one in six people worldwide still experiences loneliness. The desire to connect clearly isn’t missing. The internet is simply better designed to help us find content than to help us find one another.

8. The internet has become a high-tech way to talk to ourselves.

Social media promised to connect us. Today, the average Instagram post reaches just 3.5% of followers. At some point, we have to stop blaming ourselves and admit that the feed has failed as social infrastructure.

Want to make your business less vulnerable to algorithm changes? Learn more about ALGOSHIELD™ here.

9. Group chats are battle-tested internet assets.

Real-time group channels have existed since IRC launched in 1988. Since then, platforms have been born, rebranded, acquired, and abandoned—but the group chat has survived. The software changes. Our instinct to gather and talk does not.

The Live Internet Theory

The internet is not completely dead. Its life is simply moving.

It is moving away from passive feeds and toward places where people can respond. Away from polished broadcasting and toward active participation. Away from hoping the algorithm delivers your message and toward building a direct line to the people who asked to hear from you.

The future of the internet is not more content.

It’s more life.

ALGOSHIELD™ helps you protect your business from destabilizing algorithm changes by building around livestreams, conversations, group chats, and internet assets you can actually control.

Click here to ALGOSHIELD™ your business.

If your feed feels dead, stop trying to revive it. Learn how to build where your audience can talk back with ALGOSHIELD™.

Work with me: ✨🪞 Level Up Your Image, Network & Business

Feeling stuck with what to do with your image, social life and business? I can give you strategic advice and feedback that’s helped everyone from artists to founders achieve visible and transformational results. My advisory is laid back, honest and easy to follow and understand. If you’ve been looking for outcomes and getting no luck with Chat-GPT, Claude or the rest of the internet’s creepy business coach scammers, your last bet might be a crazy b*tch like me. ☺️

What’s (currently) available:

1:1 VIP “Ask Me Anything” Strategy Session (1 hr)
Wanna glow up your network, image, or business? Ask me anything — we’ll co-create a strategy/game plan that works just for you and achieves the exact results you’re looking for. People who are ready to sign up today get a special discount price if you email me at alex@alexwolf.co in the next 24 hours.

‘How To Be A Socialite’ Course $97
Become the One Everyone Knows, Invites, and Remembers. Get the full framework I used to go from being in my own world to building rooms, networks, and opportunities that actually move your life forward. Build a thriving social life with my easy to follow framework here.

Join My Group Chat! 💬 🪞(it’s free!—spots are limited)
Want a cooler “feed” to check every morning? Want a cooler place and more engaging place to spend your scrolling time? Want a chat room full of interesting people (including me 🤭) to get and share takes about culture, business, internet and life with? Join my group chat 💬 🪞! Space is limited. Sign ups are given access in order they sign up in. Get on the list now! Click here!

Watch my latest LIVE 🔴: GRWM While Me & The Chat Discuss Jay-Z’s Ghost Rollout

My Instagram

My Tiktok

This is Part 1 of The Future Is Group Chats—Not Podcasts, a four-part series about why curators, tastemakers, creators and founders should stop building around feeds—and start building curated spaces they control.

If you want to launch a curated group chat that grows your audience and makes you $$, my step-by-step course shows you how to start in as little as one week using my ALGOSHIELD™ framework. [Start here.]

You don’t have one audience. You probably have several partially overlapping audiences being temporarily held for you by different technology companies.

There are people who follow you on Instagram but never see your TikToks. People who read your emails but don’t even realize you have a YouTube channel. People who stumble across your Reels but have never once clicked a link in your bio.

The point is, your content is valuable. There are people who like it, trust it, and would probably want more of it, but they only see random fragments of it whenever an algorithm decides to put it in front of their face.

The experience of your information doesn’t feel centralized. It feels chaotic.

Now, you may want it this way. Some people like building an audience in scattered pieces across different platforms. But many creators, do not. Most of them want more control, more centralization, and a clearer way to stay connected to the small group of people on this whole world wide web who actually care to hear from them.

FEELING TRAPPED!

This creates a very specific kind of anxiety. You start wondering if you’re posting enough on the right platform. You worry that you’re neglecting one audience by serving another. You wonder if you should be on the next new platform everybody keeps talking about, but then you also worry about abandoning the platform where you already have the most people.

You start asking yourself what happens if the algorithm changes, your reach drops, your account gets deleted, or the platform you built on stops behaving the way it behaved when you first grew there.

This is what I mean by trapped. Not just emotionally trapped, but structurally trapped!

Your connection to your own audience is mediated by platforms you do not control, through algorithms you cannot predict, inside environments that are changing faster than most content strategies can adapt. And while those environments are changing, they’re also changing the nature of the people flipping through them even faster.

Your connection to your own audience is mediated by platforms you do not control, through algorithms you cannot predict, inside environments that are changing faster than most content strategies can adapt. And while those environments are changing, they’re also changing the nature of the people flipping through them even faster.

The platform has the relationship. You have temporary access to it.

ALGOSHIELD™ is my proprietary framework and philosophy for helping creators and businesses solve four problems I keep seeing everywhere right now:

1. dead engagement

2. unpredictable performance

3. fragmented audiences

4. feeling trapped by one or many platforms.

The system is built around these four big ideas:

1. Life vs Death

2. Compounding vs Volatility

3. Centralizations vs Fragmentation

4. Portability vs Being Trapped

This piece is about: Portability vs Being Trapped

Because before we talk about podcasts, newsletters, YouTube channels, content strategy, or social media growth, we have to talk about the deeper issue:

Most people are still digging deeper ditches inside platforms when they should be building for portability.

Most people are still digging deeper ditches inside platforms when they should be building for portability.

If you want to see this thesis operating in real life—or you want my help building a group chat for your business—you can learn how to do that here.

ISN’T THAT WHAT EMAIL LISTS ARE FOR?

The traditional internet-marketing answer to this problem has always been to build an email list. And to be clear, email lists are still valuable. Email gives you a more controlled line of communication to your audience. Less algorithm shtick. It helps de-risk your dependence on social platforms. It gives you a way to reach people without being completely subject to the volatility of a feed.

But idk. An email list still feels like a very 1999 solution to a rapidly growing 2026 problem.

At this point in history, shouldn’t we have something better by now? Am I crazy?

Getting on an email list means exactly that. You’re on a list. Book shut.

From your follower’s point of view, you have to admit the idea of being added to another massive list of data sounds about as exciting as dining on a plate of dry crackers.

This is not 2007.

Most people are not sitting around wishing they had more newsletters to read or more YouTube channels to keep up with.

It’s 2026.

The issue is not that your audience has nothing to watch or nothing to read. The issue is that your audience has too much to watch, read, and listen to. So they don’t.

It’s 2026. The issue is not that your audience has nothing to watch or nothing to read. The issue is that your audience has too much to watch, read, and listen to. So they don’t.

They shut down. They avoid making a conscious decision about what to consume. Then they fall prey and try to fight through, whatever content slop is being served directly in front of them.

So basically, making “good content”—the same “good content” that Gary Vee and his constituents keep preaching will set us free—has really just been training our audience to throw our work into one big unwatched pile.

Because when the content is too good, the human decides it needs to be set aside for a place that no longer exists: a pre-COVID brain and life. Aka: The Past.

Meanwhile, the content that’s actually getting consumed is often not “better.” It is just easier for the brain to process without needing to set aside real time, focus, or energy.

Email lists, podcasts, and YouTube channels can all be valuable, but they still come from a broadcast-first media climate. They limit you to one-way communication with your audience. They don’t really give your audience a chance to connect with each other.

A group chat operates less like a long spreadsheet and more like a warm living room. You control the temperature. You control the vibe. And you’re protected from the feed and algorithms.

A group chat operates less like a long spreadsheet and more like a warm living room. You control the temperature. You control the vibe. And you’re protected from the feed and algorithms.

STARVING FOR CONVERSATION.

We’re moving into an era where your audience is over being talked at.

They’re craving to be talked to.

They want to know who else is here in your brand universe. They want to see what other people are thinking. They want entertaining takes to chew on together in the safety of a curated space. They want to feel the satisfaction of wholesome—or dare I say, even intellectually stimulating—conversation.

Gasp

They want their phone to feel alive. They want to feel like there are actually other people on the other end who want to speak to them. They want to believe it’s not just a black mirror full of humans. That there are people out there who would love to talk to them about something interesting, relevant, funny, unpopular, useful, or true.

This is where group chats become impressively powerful. They give people a place to gather around the thing they were already interested in, but instead of being isolated consumers of your content, they become participants in a living conversation.

YOU DON’T NEED A CONTENT STRATEGY. YOU NEED A LOOP STRATEGY—A NOTIFICATION STRATEGY.

This is where most content strategies are getting sucked into the abyss of an antiquated paradigm. An outdated way of looking at and doing things.

I don’t blame them.

In today’s world, all it takes is a solid six months for information and strategies to become obsolete. It’s not fair that things are moving this fast.

Most “content strategies” are still designed around the idea that your audience is sitting somewhere calmly waiting to give you their undivided attention. But your audience is not calmly waiting. Your audience is moving through apps, tabs, texts, emails, feeds, alerts, comments, and notifications all day long.

Ofcom’s 2025 Online Nation report found that UK adults spend an average of four and a half hours online per day, and adult smartphone users use an average of 41 apps per month.

Your audience is not simply consuming content. They’re looping around it. They’re checking who replied, who liked, who texted back, what bill is due, what opportunity came in, what message they missed, and what conversation moved while they were away.

Your audience is not simply consuming content. They’re looping around it. They’re checking who replied, who liked, who texted back, what bill is due, what opportunity came in, what message they missed, and what conversation moved while they were away.

Microsoft’s 2025 Work Trend Index found that employees are interrupted by a meeting, email, or ping every two minutes on average during the workday, which is another signal of how deeply notification-driven modern attention has become.

That is why comment sections, live chats, DMs, streams, and group chats remain so behaviorally powerful. They feel alive in a way that passive, pre-recorded content does not.

SO I SHOULDN’T START A PODCAST ALEX?

Well, let’s look at the numbers first. Podcast consumption is still “growing”. Edison Research’s 2026 Infinite Dial report found that 58% of Americans age 12 and older consumed a podcast in the last month, and 45% consumed one in the last week.

Id’ be lying if I said podcasting didn’t still have some substantial power as a medium.

However, just because podcasts are popular does not mean starting a podcast is the smartest audience-building strategy for every creator, founder, artist, or business entering the market right now.

Popularity and strategic fit are not the same thing.

A media format can be thriving at the top of the market while becoming harder, slower, more expensive, and less efficient for new entrants trying to build traction from scratch.

That distinction matters because we’re not entering the same internet people entered five—or even two— years ago.

Instagram may still be called “Instagram”. YouTube may still be called “YouTube”. Podcasts may still be called” podcasts”. But the nearly everything in these environments have changed. The way people consume, ignore, save, skim, watch, abandon, return, scroll, search, and respond to content is not the same as it used to be.

PODCASTS MIGHT NOT BE DEAD, BUT FEEDS ARE, YES.

So the strategic question becomes: why are we still building so much of our audience strategy around feeds when so much of modern behavior is organized around notifications?

A feed gives people the possibility of finding something interesting.

A notification suggests that something relevant may have already happened.

Someone responded to the unique thing you said. Someone reacted to the unique thing you shared. Someone asked for your opinion. Someone acknowledged your presence. Someone is trying to contact the real you.

That is a completely different kind of signal than another piece of content dropped into a crowded feed.

This is why group chats are one of the best ways to ALGOSHIELD™ your business.

A group chat creates personalized, human, relevant notifications around a shared interest or transformation in a curated room. It gives people a valuable pitstop inside the loop of apps they’re already living in.

You’re not asking them to form an entirely new behavior— which if you know anything about humans, is often asking for waaaay too much.

No, you’re being smarter than that. You’re adapting your content strategy to the way they already move through the internet.

That’s the ALGOSHIELD™ mindset: stop trying to only stand out in the feed, and start becoming a valuable part of your audience’s daily notification loop.

That’s the ALGOSHIELD™ mindset: stop trying to only stand out in the feed, and start becoming a valuable part of your audience’s daily notification loop.

If you want my help building a group chat for your business, start here.

PODCASTS VS. GROUP CHATS

A podcast distributes content. →A group chat organizes relationships.

A podcast gives people something to consume. → A group chat gives people a real conversation to return to.

A podcast can build intimacy between the host and the listener. → A group chat can build relationships between members of the audience itself.

That’s a different kind of asset.

This matters because a truly valuable audience is not just a pile of followers, subscribers, viewers, or email addresses.

A valuable audience has context. It has memory. It has recurring language. Activity. Real movement. Real transformation. It has inside jokes. It has shared references. It has tension, trust, repetition, and recognition.

These are the things that make your brand feel alive.

PLEASE NEVER SAY THE WORD “COMMUNITY” TO ME AGAIN

In the old model, you made content and hoped it created a “community.”

But we’ve normalized calling a list of abandoned profiles inside a third-party platform like Skool, Circle, Facebook Groups, or an email list a “community” for far too long.

In the new model, you create the right room and allow the chat to generate better content, better research, better product ideas, better language, better positioning, and better demand.

The questions inside the room become content concepts. The patterns become insights. The repeated frustrations become offers. The conversations become proof of what your audience actually cares about.

Not to mention, the ways you can organically monetize, distribute value, and upsell products and services inside the trusting environment of your own group chat are inspiringly endless.

THE BEST PART? YOU’RE NOT TRAPPED ANYMORE.

A group chat is a portable audience layer.

The power of a group chat means your audience is no longer organized only around Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, LinkedIn, or email. They’re organized around a conversation that can travel across platforms with you.

It removes the false perception that your audience needs to be divided across several volatile platforms with competing interests and limited access to you—or even worse, limited access to one another.

The platform becomes a tool. It’s no longer the identity or infrastructure of the audience.

A trapped audience sees itself as your Instagram followers, your YouTube subscribers, your email list, your TikTok audience, or your LinkedIn network.

A group chat/ a portable audience sees itself as a group of people connected by a shared conversation that can continue wherever the internet moves next.

That distinction is extremely important. If one platform loses relevance, the group still exists.

If you experiment somewhere new, your core audience can move with you.

If your page disappears, you have not lost the relationship.

If the algorithm stops distributing your content, you still have a direct route back to the people who most want to hear from you.

OKAY, SO HOW DO I BUILD ONE?

If you’re interested in using a group chat for your own business—click here.

You might be excited to throw your audience into a group chat and gain better control over your business. However, true portability is not just starting a WhatsApp group and calling it a day.

It’s actually more exciting than that.

WhatsApp itself has enormous behavioral proof behind it. In 2025, WhatsApp surpassed 3 billion monthly active users.

But if the entire relationship only lives inside one messaging app, you may have simply selected a different landlord.

The group chat is the interface, but the real power is in its curation. ALGOSHIELD™ is not just about getting people into a group chat. It’s about knowing who belongs there, how they enter, when capacity should expand, when the room should be capped, and how to protect the balance between conversation, quality, and growth.

The group chat is the interface, but the real power is in its curation. ALGOSHIELD™ is not just about getting people into a group chat. It’s about knowing who belongs there, how they enter, when capacity should expand, when the room should be capped, and how to protect the balance between conversation, quality, and growth.

That’s the difference between a random group chat and a system like ALGOSHIELD™.

The group chat is where the life happens. The ALGOSHIELD™ layer is what makes the audience portable. The content is what feeds the system. The system is what keeps you from being trapped.

If you want to see how this works from the inside—or if you want my help building a group chat around your own business—click here.

BOTTOM LINE ON YOUR PODCAST AND YOUTUBE CHANNEL...

No, I do not think every creator needs to start a podcast.

If you already have a podcast that works, great. Keep going. But if you’re starting from scratch, you have to ask whether you’re entering the market through the best door available today, not the door that worked for someone else in a different media climate.

You cannot copy Oprah without 1980s television.

You cannot copy early bloggers without the blog era.

You cannot copy early YouTubers without the old YouTube environment.

You cannot copy 2018 Instagram growth in the 2026 internet and expect the same result.

The market changed because the technology changed, and the technology changed because people changed with it.

The market changed because the technology changed, and the technology changed because people changed with it.

EVERYONE IS FEELING VULNERABLE.

When markets change, everyone becomes vulnerable. Even people with big audiences. Even people with strong brands. Even people who “did everything right.” The ground beneath the internet changes so quickly, and each tweak to the environment changes how people behave inside it.

That’s why ALGOSHIELD™ is not about chasing whatever platform is hot right now. It’s about building around principles that remain stable in human nature and technology even when the platforms shift.

People want signs of life. People want recognition. People want relevant notifications. People want to talk to other people who understand a shared context. People want somewhere to go that feels alive.

People want signs of life. People want recognition. People want relevant notifications. People want to talk to other people who understand a shared context. People want somewhere to go that feels alive.

So no, I am not saying abandon content. I’m saying give your content some life so your brand and image don’t die a stale internet death.

This’s the difference between following a sad, scraggily content strategy and building an ALGOSHIELD™-ED business.

The next generation of audience assets will look less like static lists and more like living rooms: super-niche group chats, private cultural rooms, paid chats, professional chats, event-based chats, transformation-based chats, and small, high-trust rooms with intentionally limited capacity.

The next generation of audience assets will look less like static lists and more like living rooms: super-niche group chats, private cultural rooms, paid chats, professional chats, event-based chats, transformation-based chats, and small, high-trust rooms with intentionally limited capacity.

Group chats can produce media, generate research, fund businesses, create relationships, and become more culturally important than the public accounts attached to them.

This is not about building a brand online.

It’s about building a brand in a world that is constantly online.

Your audience does not live neatly inside one interface.

They move between interfaces, platforms, feeds, inboxes, private messages, public comments, online interactions, and offline decisions.

The challenge is creating valuable visibility and relevancy between all of those environments.

Make it easy for them to find you, and make it even easier for them to find each other.

That is ALGOSHIELD™ Principle 4: Trapped > Portable.

The future is not about asking people to subscribe to more things they will not read, watch more things they will not finish, or follow more accounts they may never see again.

The future is about designing better places for people to chat.

Don’t just ask them to subscribe. Don’t just ask them to watch. Don’t just ask them to follow.

Ask them to chat—and watch how their eyes glow up.

To be notified when Part 2 drops, see this thesis operating in real life, or get my help building a group chat for your own business, start here.

You start by writing a “script”. You re-work the script. Tweak the script, as needed.

Then you “audition” the characters. Who is fit for these roles in your world? Who makes the cut? Who has the most compelling performance?

Who belongs here?

Then you go find wardrobe. Get it down to a science.

Then you scout and design the set.

And then it’s lights, camera, action.

You ready?

What script are you writing for your life?

What character are you playing?

What is the nature of your character?

What are they about?

It’s interesting. In my movie, I’ve realized the closest character I relate to is Kali.

In Hinduism, Kali is a goddess associated with destruction.

She is represented as a feminine deity/expression of energy. A woman.

She is black and fierce and she stomps on bodies and chops heads off. Even of rulers.

Lots of people are afraid of her.

What’s her deal?

Well look, I don’t know everything about Kali, but what I can say we have in common is we both see the world burning and instead of trying to save it, we’re eager to burn it down faster.

Get it over with.

Get to the flattening of the ashes—to the dust—so we can build anew.

People don’t love her bloody teeth, but they do like the idea of a new world.

However, Kali makes no promises that the next world coming will be any “better”.

Perhaps temporarily, but it’s my belief that humans can only achieve brief periods of what one could call “significant harmony”.

That ultimately, we’re doomed to submit to the will of our egos and destroy our worlds with it.

And that that cycle is as natural as the Earth revolving the sun.

Perhaps even more “natural’, as it’s a pattern I think is way bigger than our itty bitty solar system, but a cycle of expression of the entire universe itself.

And it might be how all these stars you see in the sky—these explosions of gas—got here to begin with.

Just an idea.

What we’re talking about here is life and death.

Over and over and over.

And this “world'“ I’m excited to burn down in particular is the internet world as we know it.

I don’t see what others see.

I don’t see an established internet.

I see what Kali sees.

A baby.

I see weak structures informed by the less civilized parts of our creation.

I see how the internet will eventually mature and how much more life it has yet to live to discover itself.

What it will it discover about itself?

I’m not sure… other than how stupid it was when it was young.

Similar to how we all feel about our own lives, maturity and youth.

And so like Kali, everyone is kind of afraid of me.

We look scary, unpredictable.

We look like not only we want to burn the world down, but that we might actually have what it takes to do it.

And people are scared of the dust and the ashes, because people are scared to change and start anew, even me.

Right now, I need Instagram as much as you do.

Right now, dare I say, as much as I feel its harmed me and the world, it’s also created a habit of expressing myself that I’ve really come to enjoy— and that I’m not even sure how to live without.

I also fear about how far everything will scatter once the rails are broken.

But none of this changes the fact that the rails are breaking—out of pure pressure and dysfunction.

And like Kali, I have no interest in patching up holes.

I rather blow the whole thing up with dynamite.

Blaze everything into smithereens.

Then figure out the rest later.

You know! “Move fast and break things”?

In my mind, Kali is not here to kill a world that’s living.

She’s here to kill a world that is dying.

She’s not a force of death itself as much as she’s a force of accelerating death so you don’t have to suffer through life in decay, rubble.

What’s happening slowly, subtly and too close to your face, you can’t see.

Kali zooms out and watches what direction everything is actually going.

Day traders pay attention to what stocks go up 5 points—what goes down 10 points.

With that you lose vision of the overall trend.

Kali focuses on the bigger picture and observes the trends not happening day-to-day, but just overall.

And right now, things are trending down.

And what I admire about Kali is she’s just the girl brave enough to chop the monster’s head off and be done with it.

Stomp the buildings and bodies into ashes and say “Look. Here. I killed it for you.”

Not “I fixed it.”

I strongly feel I am not here to fix things even though I feel pressure to.

Even though I know thats what people want me to do.

It’s my belief that even if I manage to give you the proper dust and soil to plant new life in, we as a species will eventually gridlock ourselves again.

Oppress ourselves again.

Ruin the worlds we build, again.

And there will be another Kali there to accelerate and chop the head off that one.

This is a cycle.

You are on a hamster wheel.

People hate the feeling of going in circles.

Wait until we realize, this whole planet is just going in circles around other circles… in the shape of a… circle.

Where are you running to?

I don’t think we get universal “fixes”.

I think we get universal cycles.

In this life of comedy and tragedy all I think we can do to make peace is laugh when things are good, and cry when things are sad. 🎭

Work with me: ✨🪞 Level Up Your Image, Network & Business

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‘How To Be A Socialite’ Course $97
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Join My Group Chat! 💬 🪞(it’s free!—spots are limited)
Want a cooler “feed” to check every morning? Want a cooler place and more engaging place to spend your scrolling time? Want a chat room full of interesting people (including me 🤭) to get and share takes about culture, business, internet and life with? Join my group chat 💬 🪞! Space is limited. Sign ups are given access in order they sign up in. Get on the list now! Click here!

Watch my latest LIVE 🔴: GRWM While Me & The Chat Discuss Jay-Z’s Ghost Rollout

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My July 2026 Mood Board

I was addicted to the chat room effect that Twitter created.

I love stimulation, so being on Twitter felt like there was a whole world of thoughts, opinions and people available for me to interact with all day.

It was a feast of activity to jump into.

Twitter made me feel less lonely as a high schooler.

I had moved to so many different cities, states.

I had gone to three different high schools in three vastly different places (Manhattan, New York, Irvington, NJ & The Bay Area, California).

I didn’t really get to create connections that lasted more than a year.

Twitter gave me a sense of better control over my social life.

There were random people I was “Twitter friends” with.

Who knows where they are now.

I’m grateful for my first Twitter friends and the things we would react and tweet about together.

One thing I wasn’t aware of as a Twitter-addicted 15-year-old was that I was learning what would later become a life skill.

Tweeting.

After all, that’s how you win the president election now, right?

At the time, social media was just for kids.

Just like Tiktok is “for kids” or streamers are….“for kids”.

And kids are usually still human enough to naturally exhibit behavior that one could describe as “full of life”.

They take bigger risks. They are still somewhat vulnerable compared to most adults. They still have enough of that robust energy that expresses new life, health and vitality.

Even if he does it in goth clothes and a scary bang, teenagers are still buzzing with real hormones, heat and energy.

I guess what I’m getting at here is when I started offering social media marketing services to local businesses at 19, the grown ups were confused about why their business would even need a Twitter.

That was for kids. Not for businesses.

But what I wish I had the power to articulate at the time was that it’s because “it’s where the life is.”

See, marketing is all about finding where the life is.

Where are people talking? Where are people spending their time? Where are people living?

And people still hadn’t noticed that kids were moving away from TV (where everyone thought we were) to Twitter and [insert all the other social media here].

And so I was early in spotting all this life.

I was early in marketing and making money from all that life too.

And since so many people like me, made a lot of money from all that life and all that activity, the rest of the world decided to join all this bustling life with so much conviction and hype that it squeezed and rattled the internet with so much fucking excitement…

It killed it.

”Dead Internet Theory” was created by an anonymous internet user in 2021, IlluminatiPirate, who claimed/realized that most of the internet (over 50%) is now artificially generated and manipulated by bots.

Marketing is all about where the life is.

That’s why Coca-cola wants to sponsor your little mixer with all your cool and creative friends.

They’re trying to access that life. That party. That sweat. That fear. That wallet.

And there’s this weird cycle that happens over and over where metric-obsessed men go where all the life is and get feverish about measuring it and breaking it down into a million little charts and graphs.

They love taking life and beating it to a pulp with their magnifying glasses and scalpels. They believe that life is about the accumulation of money and power and so charts make them feel really safe and in control.

What they fail to understand is that taking life and smashing it up into a million pieces kills whatever life you were measuring for.

And then, two things happen:

1. They get scared
2. They convince themselves they’re more clever than their fears and can outwit them

So what they do is create simulation.

Some guy wakes up and says “Hey! I have a great idea!”

”Who needs actual, real life when you can just simulate it?”

This happened to him because one of the other guys at his job who measures how well he measures things was upset with his measurements.

”John, you were supposed to get us a million views. You only got us 999,999.”

And so John thinks about all the clever ways to make his measurements appear better.

Who needs real humans liking pictures when you can get bots to like pictures?

Who need real humans watching content, when you can bots to watch content?

Who needs real humans making content, when you can get bots to make content?

And so little by little their stupid little ideas created an internet where the bots are talking, engaging and laughing with each other more than we are.

Of alllllll the notifications you get per day, how many of them are real people who really want to talk to you?

The body loves notifications because it’s been groomed to hope/expect that one of them will be the answer.

One of them will be a real person saying that real thing.

One of them will be the ticket out of here.

One of them will explain it all.

And so this vision of a bustling internet that was full of life has now turned into a carcass.

A dead shell.

It looks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck.

But it ain’t a duck.

What a pickle we’re in.

Here’s the good news.

Humans, no matter what technology you stuff in our eyes, ears, nostrils and assholes, seek life.

Death repels us, naturally.

The reason you don’t like when your guy doesn’t wash his ass? He smells, which signals poor hygiene, which signals poor health, which signals death.

The reason why you can’t drink bad milk? Because it signals sickness to the body which signals death.

The reason why you jump when you see a dead animal on the street? Because the body repels death.

When in good or recoverable health, the body doesn’t want to die. Not only that but, the body doesn’t even want to be near dead or dying things. It naturally understands proximity to death can quickly cause your own.

So when you see these streamers. These kids. What you’re seeing is a mass migration out of this carcass.

One by one the youth is climbing out of the rubble like the survivors of a bomb.

Their antennas are pointing them to life, to “the stream” if you will, just like mine was as a lonely high schooler.

They naturally understand that in order to live, they need to go where the life is.

Several years ago I gave a presentation about what defines technology as “human-friendly”.

One of those things were presence.

Technology that’s designed for you feel the presence of a human being like a phone call or a Facetime, tends to have less harmful effects of let’s say, exposing little boys to flirty, sexual robots or holding your breath before posting on IG in the hopes to get the likes you need to feel connected to people.

Well, what is streaming? Streaming is going live.

Live. Life. Streams.

As the internet is re-inventing itself once again and morphing the next generation of kids who will be transforming their silly little behaviors into future life skills, we are witnessing a migration towards life.

It also explains why this dead internet has created so many dead-ish people. After a while, when your culture is used to functioning its political, social and economic systems with reeks of death…

you’re forced to walk around in a world full of zombies.

Work with me: ✨🪞 Level Up Your Image, Network & Business

Feeling stuck with what to do with your image, social life and business? I can give you honest, strategic advice that may help. I have a very no-fluff style of giving advice and will talk to you on the phone as if you are my close friend. If you’ve been looking for answers and getting no luck with Chat-GPT, Claude or the rest of the internet’s creepy business coach scammers, your last bet might be a crazy b*tch like me. ☺️

What’s (currently) available:

1:1 VIP “Ask Me Anything” Session (2 hrs)

Wanna glow up your network, image, or business? Ask me anything — we’ll co-create 1:1. Email me in the next 24 hours at alex@alexwolf.co for a special discount price.

1:1 Glow Up Mentorship & Advising (4-Week Package)

If you want to go deep. Get my private 1:1 advising & coaching for 1 month. Email me in the next 24 hours at alex@alexwolf.co for a special discount price.

‘How To Be A Socialite’ Course $97

Become the One Everyone Knows, Invites, and Remembers. Get the full framework I used to go from being in my own world to building rooms, networks, and opportunities that actually move your life forward. Build a thriving social life with my easy to follow framework here.

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My July 2026 Mood Board

Last week I wrote about how I healed my trauma.

The process was baffling, confusing and lonely. I’m not fully healed but I’m okay with that because at the end of the day, all food needs seasoning right? As far as I’m concerned, as long as I’m mostly healed (meaning I’m mostly functioning) then that’s cool with me.

The world should consider itself lucky it gets this much sanity out of me.

Plus, the goal of healing trauma is to be functional, not perfect. It’s just to function enough to get out of bed and function enough say hi to stupid people and do stupid things. It doesn’t promise you a good life.

What promises you a good life… well, that takes another skill which I want to talk about today.

Putting yourself out there.

Why yes, after the world has destroyed you and chewed you up just to spit you out, guess what happens next?

Guess what the “healthy thing” you’re supposed to do is?

Fucking risk it again.

Risk falling in love, trusting a friend, starting a business.

But the way you go about it this time has to have new and improved adult boundaries.

If you were a child who came from a dysfunctional family like me, you never learned what boundaries were. You never learned how to protect yourself because the person who kept harming you didn’t want to deal with the muss and fuss of you defending yourself.

Dealing with a dignified and defined YOU would’ve been annoying.

It was much easier to just attack you as the vulnerable, helpless kid you were.

And so while other kids were developing a healthy sense of self, with defined lines and an identity with dignity…

You were running around in fear, trying to do anything to avoid dad coming home and having another temper tantrum.

Your sense of self? There was no time to grow one.

You were obviously too busy tending to the other bushes to tend to your own.

And then when time passes and you’re not home with dad anymore, all you’re left with is this fucked up bush that didn’t get the proper love or care it needed to be healthy.

And then you try to date with it. Get a job with it. Be a friend with it.

And it turns out this bush sucks.

So what do you do when you wake up in your 30s and you realize, you never took care of your own bush?

That was me.

You don’t even know what kind of fruit or flower it makes. You don’t know the real shape of its leaves. You don’t know what shape it wants to be. You don’t know what shape you are!

Every time you tried to figure it out, someone was behind you with loud, big, shears going SNIP SNIP!

You never had a chance to just let the bitch grow.

People keep asking you what you “like to do”?

Bitch, I don’t even know what I like to do yet!

And so after I realized what trauma was, how it was affecting me and how I was going to manage healing it, I realized I had to figure out what was going on with my own bush.

What secrets did it have for me? What shape was it?

And the only way to really make that happen is by putting yourself out there and pay attention to what brings it/you back to life.

You’ve somehow managed to make it to this point with a charred, decaying, brittle bush, and look how much you’ve accomplished.

Imagine if you started testing what it likes by putting it in the sun, or giving it more water, or signing up for a pole dance class. Little by little you realize, there’s still so much more life inside of you if you’re willing to do the work to cultivate it.

All that life and joy you had in you as a little kid is still there, in the roots.

Someone just has to do the work to let it grow out.

And yes, it would’ve been nice if YOUR PARENTS did it.

But that’s just not the way it goes sometimes.

Work with me: ✨🪞 Level Up Your Image, Network & Business

Feeling stuck with what to do with your image, social life and business? I can give you honest, strategic advice that may help. I have a very no-fluff style of giving advice and will talk to you on the phone as if you are my close friend. If you’ve been looking for answers and getting no luck with Chat-GPT, Claude or the rest of the internet’s creepy business coach scammers, your last bet might be a crazy b*tch like me. ☺️

What’s (currently) available:

1:1 VIP “Ask Me Anything” Session (2 hrs)

Wanna glow up your network, image, or business? Ask me anything — we’ll co-create 1:1. Email me in the next 24 hours at alex@alexwolf.co for a special discount price.

1:1 Glow Up Mentorship & Advising (4-Week Package)

If you want to go deep. Get my private 1:1 advising & coaching for 1 month. Email me in the next 24 hours at alex@alexwolf.co for a special discount price.

‘How To Be A Socialite’ Course $97

Become the One Everyone Knows, Invites, and Remembers. Get the full framework I used to go from being in my own world to building rooms, networks, and opportunities that actually move your life forward. Build a thriving social life with my easy to follow framework here.

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Last week I shared the steps I took to heal my trauma (read here).

Trauma is a scary word. I was scared of it because every time I heard it I pictured a white girl shrieking and panicking for attention.

Forgive me, I grew up in California for half my life.

That incorrect image of trauma blocked me from recognizing my own.

I knew I had a fucked up childhood.

I knew I had pain.

But what I didn’t understand was I was walking around with a severe nervous system injury that made me feel like my emotional skin was raw. It was. And it was making it impossible to have basic relationships or a basic life. Every time someone would come into my life, all I would need is 5 good months to blow the whole thing into smithereens.

Work, friends… romantic???? L-O-L. And this would happen (usually, but not always) by accident.

My trauma was making it impossible to function, aka:

• get out of bed

• know what I think or believe

• what I want to do with my life

• create a life that actually fulfills me

I’m not going to lie to you. I’m not a magical, whimsy, feel-it-out kind of girl.

I like logic and order. I like neat boxes and classifications. I think more like an engineer or a scientist than a dreamy-eyed visionary or creative.

So to me, trauma just didn’t make sense until I could back it up with real science.

Whenever someone told me I had to “work on myself” it felt like I was being asked to spend the rest of my life crying and whining and being a big baby and I didn’t see the point of that. I would rather die than be the shrieking attention-whore white girl.

I was raised to ignore and neglect my feelings so the idea of going to therapy and talking about my them felt pointless and confusing to me.

Feelings? I have feelings? How does that even work? Ew, sounds like a bunch of complaining.

I had been trained to feel disgust at my own feelings. Like, a gag type of disgust.

I had my sensitivity to them beaten out of me. Through constant grooming, shaming, belittling, name-calling, violence… you name it. My feelings were clearly not something I could hold on to if I were to survive with some basic peace and sanity.

But one day you turn 30 and you realize, these feelings need to be dealt with or they will quite literally ruin your life. No kizzy.

Everything will collapse. The whole floor in my life would collapse in nearly-predictable 6 months cycles because I was too hurt, too wounded, too traumatized to see with my own eyes.

I was strolling about—pep in my step—like it was in a nice summer day, into the most toxic, dysfunctional relationships you could dream of.

I walked in predatory relationships. I walked in abusive relationships. I walked in controlling relationships. I would just walk right in like there was no big sign on the door that said “THIS NIGGA IS ABSOLUTELY CRAZY. HIS MOM DOES NOT LOVE HIM. HE IS STARVED OF LOVE AND HE IS ABOUT TO STARVE YOU BITCH. RUN.”

When you grow up in toxic, dysfunctional family systems, your awareness of danger is all warped. You think wolves are doves. You think doves are wolves. You can’t see. You’re blind. And I think that’s the scariest part of it all.

You can spend your whole adult life just bumping into monsters who take a piece out of you each way you turn because you can’t see. You don’t even know you’re getting bit into. That pain? That blood? It’s all normal to you. In fact, it’s all all a sign that you fucked up again and you must prove and beg for love.

Dust off those knees bitch and hit the flo’.

Simply because your bitch ass daddy or mommy never taught you HOW TO SEE.

How to PROTECT yourself.

So I’m grateful I still had enough pieces of me left to figure out something was wrong.

After my last serious relationship ended, my arms and organs were on the floor but I still picked them bitches up and took them back to the lab to figure out how to sew everything together. Dust and tiny rocks from the concrete on them and all.

I slabbed all my limbs on the table like Benny the Butcher and said “Yo, what the actual fuck?!”

What am I doing wrong???? At that point I had been with not one, not two, but three men who had somehow overnight disappeared in my life in the most brutal, cruel and abrupt way and I was sick to my stomach.

I knew I wasn’t perfect, but I had loved hard. I had bent over backwards. I had gotten neater, nicer, quieter, prettier. I became their fantasies. I anticipated their needs. I was frantic to please them and make them proud and blah blah blah.

Yeah bitch… and all of that above is where I fucked up.

Love and healthy relationships don’t require any of that shit.

Here I was asking “Why is my body on the floor??!!”… bitch! Because you cut your own arms and legs off!

Which brings me to the other words I want to introduce today that gave me tremendous healing and recovery.

Last week I shared how it was words/terms that acted like a flash light to more words/terms that eventually healed me. No one taught me this. I had to navigate all this pain and confusion alone. Book by book. Page by page.

By the way, if you’re wondering why I’m being so vulnerable and open about this it’s because, I am not really sure what people want right now.

But I do know when I speak to my closest girl friends, we’re all struggling with navigating relationships because of some kind of trauma. All I hear is:

Mommy didn’t love me.

Daddy was bipolar.

which quickly turns into:

She never texted me back.

I spent all day obsessing about him again. I had to go for a walk just not to go crazy.

We’re doing the best that we can to make functional realtionships happen in our 30s so we can feel an inkling of meaning in our lives and we keep getting confused and lost at why everything feels so painful.

So I know if it’s happening to me and my girlfriends, it’s probably happening to you too.

Let’s move past this ugly cycle of pain, despair and turmoil and reclaim some joy, power and freedom in our lives.

The words:

Co-dependency: Another word I hate hate hate! Horrible branding. Horrible marketing. Just like the shrieking white girl confused me on what “trauma” is. Co-dependency was another word I ran away from. It sounded like being co-dependent meant I was a sick barnacle that latched itself on to men and hung on for dear life.

But each day I ignored this word was a day I robbed of myself of my own precious life, because it turns out your girl was a sick barnacle attaching to men for dear life. Co-dependency manifests in many different ways. You can be co-dependent with your sibling, parent, child, friend, co-worker.

Some co-dependents are controlling. Others have no back bone. There’s different types of co-dependency and if you’re curious if you are one, click here.

All in all, co-dependency is when you’re putting a person in the center of your life instead of yourself and a Higher Power.

Alcoholics revolve their lives around alcohol. Drug addicts around drugs. Gambling addicts around gambling. Co-dependents revolve their lives around people.

So it’s like, instead of making decisions based on how YOU feel or what YOU think or what YOU need, you first ask “Well, what would this person feel, think or need?” and then you make decision from there.

You filter your whole life through someone else’s strain before you decide what to do with yourself.

It’s a sick-ness of self-abandonment. You are not even in the room. You don’t make decisions based on your needs. You aren’t even there. There’s a solar system and you are maybe a tiny pluto, but someone else has become your sun, moon and stars.

This centering. This main-character-ing, is a sickness and is a perverted use of your power and spirituality. You have put some poor (also sick) man in the middle of your solar system as a replacement for God herself.

Of course your life is in shambles.

I learned this the hard way. But once I stopped being confused about what co-dependency is and realized how bad it was controlling my life and that there were things I could do things to stop it, my life got a little brighter each day.

Books that helped me:
Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You
Codependence and the Power of Detachment: How to Set Boundaries and Make Your Life Your Own (From the Author of Each Day a New Beginning and Let Go Now)
Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

I recommend all those books 10/10, but if you want to know what really sped up my healing even faster, it’s this word/term I’m about to give you right now. You ready?

CoDa - Codependents Anonymous

All those books above subtly point to the fact that to heal your pathetic, little life and your purple, battle-fought heart, you need to sit in a room with a bunch of other pathetic people and talk about how pathetic you all are.

Sounds depressing. It’s honestly the best experience in the world. I got years of healing done in a couple CoDa sessions than I did in regular cognitive behavioral therapy. And it’s only $3 (donation based)!!

Meetings take place all over the world. You can quickly search which one is in your area and if you have the balls, show up. You can wear big sunglasses and a hat if you want to.

CoDa uses the same 12-step framework that all the anonymous groups do to shake their toxic addictions.

It’s not until you get in there that you realize how badly you’ve managed to fuck up your own life. CoDa is a human enough system that it recognizes some of the most primal, fundamental truths about healing the human heart that today’s tech-obsessed mind is too blind to see:

Which are:

• It’s more effective when it’s communal. No, we are not all in there crying and hugging each other. In fact, you aren’t allowed to touch or talk to anyone as they’re sharing, but people’s mere presence and vulnerability when you’re that lost and alone is super healing. Fucking elixir.

• Spirituality is very important in your healing journey, however that looks like for you. Like you can’t really text book it out. You have to shut your eyes and deep breathe and believe there is some kind of God or mercy that’s bigger than you that can heal your broken heart. You have to give up control and you have to give it to a Higher Power, because clearly you have no idea what the fuck you’re doing.

• Listening is just as healing as talking (if not more). Most meetings are structured where anyone can speak for 3-4 uninterrupted minutes and you just have to listen without saying anything. It’s crazy how listening to other people’s stories make you realize how not alone, human and normal you actually are. You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to though.

  
  Okay, this is getting long again, so I might have to do a part 3 but I wanted to at least share co-dependent and CoDa today because those things were so healing for me, they make me feel like I’m walking around with Jesus juice! They’re so healing and powerful, I just want to sprinkle it all over the place!
  
  Sprinkle, sprinkle! ✨
  
  Please continue this conversation in the comments. I’ll write back. Or just leave me on read. Whatever.
  
  Stay free,
  
  Alex

  ---

Work with me: ✨🪞 Level Up Your Image, Network & Business

Feeling stuck with what to do with your image, social life and business? I can give you honest, strategic advice that may help. I have a very no-fluff style of giving advice and will talk to you on the phone as if you are my close friend. If you’ve been looking for answers and getting no luck with Chat-GPT, Claude or the rest of the internet’s creepy business coach scammers, your last bet might be a crazy b*tch like me. ☺️

What’s (currently) available:

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If you want to go deep. Get my private 1:1 advising & coaching for 1 month.
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‘How To Be A Socialite’ Course $97
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It’s 2023. It’s 9:53am and my body is shaking on the couch. It’s like a shiver kind of shake. Like my teeth are chattering.

I can’t stop. My heart is racing and I’m trying to breathe but I keep getting attacked by these vivid thoughts of dying.

I can picture a plane flying into this apartment building and killing me instantly.

Any minute now.

Is this what life is supposed to feel like?

I have a man. I have money. I have all the basics.

Why do I feel like I’m going to die?

Well, I didn’t know it at the time, but I was experiencing what’s called “hypervigilance”.

Save that word.

My journey into healing my trauma was a combination of:

1. Having to find words and use them as a flashlight to find more words that would help me understand wtf was wrong with me.

2. Trusting myself enough to know that my pain, my emptiness, my levels of fear and paranoia were not normal.

I grew up in Brooklyn.

I grew up in a dysfunctional family.

And so all my fear, paranoia and emptiness were sensations I was numb to. I had gotten used to them. I, like many kids from these environments, learned how to thug out with all that pain my whole life. It’s not that I couldn’t feel it, but, I was used to it.

The “man” I had mentioned previously had just recently returned back to me from a 6-month break up where he had abruptly left me which shocked my nervous system so bad, the bitch was resetting.

He was in the kitchen getting coffee and my entire body was malfunctioning.

Computer crash.

I have abandonment issues. My mom left me when I was two years old and my father was extremely abusive. Both were emotionally absent.

When you have abandonment issues, it means your body is afraid that your protectors or loved ones are going to leave you or die any minute now, so your body starts to freeze and shake and do all types of weird shit.

Including making you think you’re going to die every five seconds.

It’s very annoying to try to live every day life like this, and if it fucks you up enough, you can’t.

Your body goes into overload and all you can really manage to do is to curl up in a ball and fantasize about dying.

This was my life.

I thought that getting back with that piece of shit guy meant all my crying would be over.

He’s back.

We’re back!

I’m back! … right?

No. My body was like “Bitch, I’m going to die!!!!”

I didn’t know what to give her. I honestly wanted her to shut the fuck up.

Stop shaking!

I didn’t understand that bringing the man back didn’t mean I was bringing my body back or my health back.

When he left, he tore open a huge gash on my already infected, broken heart.

We’re all born with hearts and if you have shitty parents they tend to rip them into shreds by the time you reach kindergarten. Mostly by accident, because they are also broken-hearted bozos.

And if no one is there to care for your inner wounds and kiss it and make it all better, you just learn to live life like that, with a broken heart.

It’ll stop its own bleeding a little with some scabs, but bitch don’t you worry, some nigga will be there in 2.5 seconds to rip those scabs right back open and make you feel how nasty, infected and throbbing your heart is.

It’s something to be ashamed of. Being in your 30s with a broken heart because your parents didn’t love you. Not only is it cliché, it’s just embarrassing.

So embarrassing I wanted to hide my face. Not only was I using this man to nurse my nasty leaking heart, I was using him as a shield from having to figuring out…. ugh…. wHo i wAs. ew.

I was fed up with me. I chose being a kept trophy wife because I was too lazy and in too much pain to really do the work to find, me. Ew. Me? Mixed race, abused, crazy, psycho, unpredictable, me? No, no. I can cosplay a quiet wife with a Range Rover and a fat diamond ring way easier than doing that.

Plus, I had already tried finding me before.

I spent a whole life trying to build, find, keep an identity…and all I had managed to do was freak everyone I knew out. Including me.

The internet didn’t make this any easier.

It’s one thing to try to re-invent yourself… in 1982. All you have to do is pack one of those creepy briefcases, spend a few nights in a cheap motel with a couple cigarettes and get a job at a local gift shop 3 states away.

But I’m in the 2020s. And I already have an internet persona, and I have to be on the internet to find work. And I have to build on my personal brand and email list and Linkedi—….unless you’re a millennial, you wouldn’t fucking understand.

So there I was. Another princess locked up in a castle.

With a man who was paying all the bills and a scared little girl who was afraid of herself and the world with a body that was shaking uncontrollably.

I was afraid to go to Target. I was afraid to get in an Uber. I was afraid to post. I was afraid to google “co-dependent”.

I tried to sit there and stomach my misery as long as fucking possible.

If I looked around enough, I could convince myself everything was fine.

There was a Christmas tree. There was a beautiful kitchen. A walk-in closet. Flowers. Everything is fine! I’m fine! Right!

No.

Of course, I couldn’t help myself. I started the googles. I learned there were words for these complicated feelings.

Here are the words that helped me understand what was happening the most (in the order I found them). Feel free to follow my rabbit hole into healing:

Narcissistic Abuse - To be fair, I started googling this at around 13. I swear, I was like Matilda. I knew there was something off about my dad but I was too young to really understand what was happening. Today everyone’s a “narcissist”. People think being an asshole is being a “narcissist”. It’s a shame because it really minimizes the true damage a person with “narcissistic personality disorder” does to children. Everyone is narcissistic and anyone can be an asshole, but not everyone has dealt with true narcissistic abuse. Be careful searching the web for this term. It’s mostly bullshit advice from people who are bitter about dealing with assholes, not actual dangerous mentally ill people. There’s a difference.

The books/youtubes that I found reliable and helped me get to the root of the situation were:
https://www.youtube.com/@lisaaromano1
https://www.youtube.com/@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma
https://www.youtube.com/@TherapyinaNutshell
https://www.youtube.com/@romanzanoni

Books:
The Road Back To Me
Why Does He Do That? Inside The Minds Of Angry And Controlling Men

C-PTSD - So I think it was like my birthday or new years or something, and I was in shambles. And I was like what the actual fuck! Why can’t I enjoy nice things? Like dead ass, why can’t I just sit here and like, not panic?! Every article kept saying to go to therapy but I just shoo’d them away. I’ve been in an out of therapy since the age of 13. I was tired of them telling me my dad was abusive. I fucking KNEW THAT ALREADY. What made the difference was finding a trauma informed therapist/coach who properly diagnosed me with…. drum roll please… C-PTSD.

So basically there’s PTSD and there’s C-PTSD. They’re both horrible.

PTSD is when a major life event, like car crash or sudden death happen and your whole concept of life is shattered and you have to rebuild your concept of life in a new reality while also dealing with your body shutting down and freaking out at any sounds/sensations that remind you of the major event. It’s awful.

When people would complain about their trauma I figured I could never relate because I never went to war or anything like that. I dismissed my own trauma because I was taught in the hood that abuse was normal. It’s not something you cry about, it’s just life. It’s not trauma.

lol.

C-PTSD is when repeated instances happen throughout your life (usually childhood) where you were put in positions of danger/harm and had no way to protect yourself. You were helpless and powerless while in danger and basically had to endure moments of no safety alone, repeatedly. This traumatizes the body because it learns it can’t be safe and it trains you to survive by doing all types of weird, desperate things to maintain a shred of safety so your lack of safety doesn’t get any worse.

Books that actually helped my C-PTSD (A LOT):
Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving: A GUIDE AND MAP FOR RECOVERING FROM CHILDHOOD TRAUMA
Unbroken: The Trauma Response Is Never Wrong
Running On Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect

Youtube:
https://www.youtube.com/@HealingHumanity777

So I was 30 and I was handling my life with the coping mechanisms of a traumatized 4 year old.

Hence why I was with that sorry piece of shit man. But, we’ll save that for another day. 😇

The point of this is, giving out the words that help you gain awareness of your issue so you can use them like a flashlight to find what you need to heal and gain some peace and inner-well being.

All our parents fucked us up differently. Find out what they did to you and go from there!

I’m a natural researcher so it was the words, the terms, that helped me figure out my own path into healing. I needed names for things. It wasn’t until my 30s that I started to train myself to attach the proper words to my feelings and gain the ability to identify what feelings I was even having. I learned to identify the subtle differences between anger, sorrow, confusion.

Before that, they’d all come crashing in at once and overwhelm me.

When you’re overwhelmed by multiple emotions at once without even knowing what they are or where they’re coming from, they cluster up. They blind you, overpower you and tend to make you make really bad decisions that usually end up hurting you or the people around you.

It felt like magic to breathe and start to pull my emotions apart one by one and say..

“Hey, that one there is sorrow.”

“That one there is rage".

When you have the power to breathe and see your emotions, and feel them, they aren’t as scary. They are actually pretty amusing to watch and experience.

It made sense to me why artists like Eminem and Biggie were so influential to my childhood. They made music for angry, hurt kids. They were a safe place for me to process my rage. People think hip-hop caused violence. I think hip-hop prevents more violence than it causes. It was actually a creative alternative to violence and was created to fight and cope with the pain of being in an impoverished environment with art instead of violence. Bronx kids, who were the most violent of all, used it to battle with words, graffiti, dance. Imagine that.

Anyway, I hope this advice helps someone. It makes me sad to think of all the broken hearted people who are confused and lost in their pain. I don’t care how nice your Instagram is. I don’t care if you have a nice car. None of that matters. All that stuff doesn’t really mean shit when you have black cavities in your heart that feed on your spirit at 3 am. I was there and I had to figure this shit out brick by brick.

I’m not ‘healed” all the way, but I’m exponentially more functional and have a waaaaay better inner-well being than I did a few years ago. I’m so grateful.

There’s a lot more I did to heal my trauma, codependency and abandonment issues that I will expand soon on but I think this is enough for now. I’ll come back with a part 2 that shares what I did next.

In the mean time, feel free to share any questions or thoughts you have and we can continue this conversation in the chat.

K bye!

Work with me: ✨🪞 Level Up Your Image, Network & Business

Feeling stuck with what to do with your image, social life and business? I can give you honest, strategic advice that may help. I have a very no-fluff style of giving advice and will talk to you on the phone as if you are my close friend. If you’ve been looking for answers and getting no luck with Chat-GPT, Claude or the rest of the internet’s creepy business coach scammers, your last bet might be a crazy b*tch like me. ☺️

What’s (currently) available:

1:1 VIP Session (2 hrs)
Wanna glow up your network, image, or business? Ask me anything — we’ll co-create 1:1. Email me in the next 24 hours at alex@alexwolf.co for a discount.

1:1 Mentorship & Advising (4-Week Package)
If you want to go deep. Get my private 1:1 advising & coaching for 1 month.
Email me in the next 24 hours at alex@alexwolf.co for a discount.

‘How To Be A Socialite’ Course $97
Become the One Everyone Knows, Invites, and Remembers. Get the full framework I used to go from being in my own world to building rooms, networks, and opportunities that actually move your life forward. Build a thriving social life with my easy to follow framework here.

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I got tired of talking about it online so I started throwing watch parties instead.

Made a video about what pushed me there here:

NYC CREATIVES!

On Sunday, April 19th, I’m hosting a 420 Pajama Mean Girls Watch Party at Trends Dispensary in New York City. 💗

Sponsored by: Off Hours

Expect Sleeping bags, popcorn , 420 goodies, drinks, and a movie we all know by heart. 💗💅🏽

We’re transforming one of New York’s favorite dispensaries into a full pajama party projection theater, complete with plush pink bed seating, popcorn, signature beverages, and small moments to connect with the other cool guests attending.

Roll with the Mafiaaa for a lazy Sunday Mean Girls day.

RSVP Here: https://luma.com/70i50gp6

Wolf Mafiaaa is a lifestyle brand that plugs meaning into everyday life through content, experiences and products. Build for creatives and thinkers seeking experiences that are both easygoing and deeply meaningful, shaped by Alex Wolf’s path to healing from CPTSD.

🪞Read my story.

🪞Work with us.

🪞Shop the store.

www.wolfmafiaaa.com

For 2026 I wanted to centralize my communications so I’m just going old school and promoting my (new) website this year.

It has my story. ☕️
It explains how you can work with us. 🛸
It has cute little lifestyle decor as well as stuff from my closet to shop. 🩶

My goal this year is to have more fun with my audience.

That might mean acting like an unhinged asshole on Tiktok.
Or hosting small experiences that make us laugh and get good content.

The point is: New Year, Worse Me, and I really hope you can join me.

So you want to know what’s been going on?

Well, I recently made the decision to move back to New York City.

I’m working on a Miami/NYC hybrid, but as of right now, I’m in New York.

I brought the Tesla up here and everything.

Everyone keeps asking me why I decided to move to NYC in the dead of winter. It’s 17 degrees today.

What me and New York have is personal. I guess she saw me having too much fun shaking my titties in Miami and decided to drag me home to give me an ass whooping.

That she is. :)

Dead rats. Angry people. Men who know how to dress.

Everyday I clutch my pearls.

Wish me luck.

a.

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Buy My Book: “Resonate: For Anyone Who Wants To Build An Audience” By Alex Wolf

Snag a limited edition ALEX WOLF KEYCHAIN

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Collab with me and my AMAZING team on content, speaking or experiences: email alex@alexwolf.co (See recent collabs here.)

i entered out of curiosity and now im actually excited about competing. it’s for a good cause and it could be really fun.

what i would need from you are quick, free digital votes. ideally, daily votes that i hope i can depend on the most enthusiastic in the “wolf pack” for.

yes, it’s a little annoying and easy to forget to vote daily so, to make it more worth your while i decided to give you something in return…

Who ever successfully votes for me as close to 67 days in a row will enter a chance to win one of the following:

• Brunch with me at a fun trendy spot in Miami or New York!

• Custom Photoshoot (w/ me or of me shooting your brand or product)!

• Personal Styling Session with me and my Iconic Stylist!

It takes about 2 seconds. It’s free and I’ll even send you daily reminders to make it easier for you. Sign up for daily reminders here.

I will also be reposting the most enthusiastic voters on my page to show love!

VOTING OPENS TODAY! Please submit your vote for the day NOW here: https://styleicon.org/2025/alex-wolf

This competition is a marathon, not a sprint so as much as I greatly appreciate your vote today, it will be the consistent votes over time that will give me a real edge. 😈

This award is to acknowledge actual “trendsetters” so it would be nice to have your support in finally getting some public credit for some of the influence i’ve made in aesthetics, fashion and culture in general.

i know how the wolf pack likes to gatekeep me to themselves lmfaoooooo. i promise when i go pop i won’t leave you behind lol. this is a free way to support me and prove that you actually want to see my efforts acknowledged and you’re not just a creepy watcher lol.

matter fact im paying attention to who is actually helping me with this and putting them on a special supporter’s list so i know who to give special treatment to by a way of creative acknowledgements when my shit blows up, because as you can see, im not slowing down so you might as well ride the wave and get in the special crew of my wolf shit starters who i will always love and protect forever more. 🥰

If you’d like daily reminders to make voting easier and quicker for you, you can sign up to become a daily voter here (recommended).

NO SPAM VOTES OR BOT FARMS. If there is prove of bots or farms being used you will automatically be disqualified. We are trying to raise awareness for a good cause, not manipulate an algorithm. You can only vote once a day.

Every vote helps us raise awareness for Elton John’s AIDS foundation. This is a perfect opportunity for fans of mine who want to work with me but don’t have the money at the moment.

Instead of money, you can pay me in votes for a good cause and I would love the chance to spend time with you for brunch or photoshoot where we can connect/talk business, philosophy or whatever fits our mood!

Looking forward to seeing your votes! Feel free to email us at stylist@alexwolf.co at any time with any questions and me or my team will get back to you.

Please don’t forget to vote RIGHT NOW here: https://styleicon.org/2025/alex-wolf

in other news… we need to talk.

so much happened in september it’s not even funny.

I’m currently writing this “septemeber mood board” email in october from an uber on the way the airport.

aka, help me.

no but i mean the thrill of my life has been really fun recently. i’m being pulled in all different directions.

i auditioned for a tubi movie and had an npr interview all in one week.

i like to think of myself as a media easter egg. you never know where i’ll pop up, but hopefully you catch what im trying to say.

renowned media ecologist and inspiration of mine, marshall mcluhan used to plant his image and likeness in various unexpected media outlets to send a deeper message.

even though he was a bookish academic, he would agree to be speak at prestigious universities but also said yes to things like articles from playboy magazine.

i’d like to think im doing the same. it’s not enough to tell you what’s happening to the state of the world and media in this cozy little email where it’s just me and you.

sometimes i have to go outside and give keynotes wearing underwear or pop up on a red pill podcast to show you the nature of your own culture to itself. to force people who don’t know what is going on to at least start asking why?

why is she dressed like that?

why does doechii follow her?

why are so many white tech boys on her d*ck?

“why” is the seed question that will peel back the layers that people are too drowned in micro-videos to see.

that your attention has been hijacked, your humanity is headed out the door and we are walking right through it with our heads pointed down not realizing it’s happening.

contrary to prior to popular belief, im not here to replace your apps.

think of me more as a cunt galileo.

galileo didn’t have to move the sun to prove that the earth was not actually the center of the universe.

he just had to point out we were looking at it all wrong.

Want more? Follow me on TikTok.

Connect With Me On Linkedin.

WAYS TO WORK WITH ME:

i am currently available to be hired to speak as a:

• panel guest

• panel moderator

• podcast guest

• keynote speaker

i have very interesting talking points and a very smart audience who follows me around and likes to laugh at my sassy jokes.

if you have a podcast you are starting (or would like to start) and need high-quality conversation and exposure, consider me as a guest to bring the podcast to life.

this also works well if you just want to host an event and interview me to engage your community.

email at alex@alexwolf.co for pricing inquires and me and my amazing team will work out a deal that works for you and me.

if you are planning an event and are afraid people are going bored out of their minds and tweet “this event sucks”, hire me to speak about something like “different ways to look at the internet” and watch their minds spark with wonder.

they’ll leave your event saying stuff like this:

i talk about tech-philosophy, culture, business, women’s empowerment, hip-hop, fashion. more importantly my talks encourage genuine connection-making at your events so your guests leave with automatic ice-breakers, funny conversation starters and a chance to truly relax and enjoy themselves and feel their money/attendance was well spent.

email alex@alexwolf.co i will make you look good.

xoxo stay free,

aw

here they are.

promise not to cry.

you asked for this.

ai is a revolutionary technology… meaning our world and our people will be transformed, once again through an aggressive and ambiguous technology that we have very little understanding of.

what do i mean by “aggressive”?

technology that takes humans by the balls, and says “you’re mine now”.

we have a kink for that.

we don’t like surrendering to God.

we don’t like surrendering to community.

but we will surrender to technology.

we have allowed it to marginalize us in little tiny corners that isolate us from everyone else. that’s why as the world is “progressing” you feel you have less and less space.

ai is currently diluting entire archives of history and information with no regulation.

i watched the ed sullivan documentary on netflix and they said they “re-created his voice”, which led me to question, did they recreate the 1960s footage they were showing me too? if they did, how would i know?

we are tampering with how believable this screen is. soon, you will have a hard time believing anything is real.

we have a kink for that.

ai is snatching your content strategy and taking a hot dookie on it.

right now little kids are watching hours and hours of exploitative, extremely disturbing ai content on youtube. which means ai is FLOODING the air waves with exponential amounts of media in the already impossibly noisy media climate we’ve created.

please explore the works of Jeremy “Showtools AI”. We connected last week and he told me he basically quit his job to advocate for AI literacy full-time out of pure concern. We are working together to figure out how to bring more awareness to this. You following him is a good place to start.

another video worth watching is this one, where this dad jokes about how he left his baby unattended with youtube and it started showing him ai content that was pronouncing words like “milk” incorrectly. (open in separate tab and watch after this email. we’re almost done).

there is a dumbification going on. but it’s not new. it’s been happening since google.

it’s been happening since tv. literacy has steadily been going down in the U.S. since the 80s. but with ai, that will accelerate.

humans have operated with little to no literacy for most of human history so it wouldn’t be the first time. but it will be the first time it’s because the information is stored in the technology. typically it’s not stored anywhere besides in the archives of the elite. oh wait.

okay, enough scary stuff.

ai is not all bad. it can and will do a lot of what we can label “positive things”. but the lack of thought we are putting into adopting it will most likely lead us into another cycle of intense tech-regret.

tech-regret is that pining feeling of nostalgia for all those game consoles, ipods, tvs, cd players, flip phone VHS and DVDs you threw right in the trash.

it’s a yearn for a technological landscape of the past you were in a unconscious rush to throw away. so even this current one you’re in—that you don’t like so much—one day you will think fondly of it because things will be so different, again.

hoping to bring some more consciousness to this moment so we don’t fall for that, again.

i predict millennials will begin to feel less and less in tune with technology.

yes, us. the kids they swore were the tech geniuses.

we are about to be tech dummies.

this “phone” you thought was safe to love and pedestalize will continue to morph into an alien who betrays you.

we didn’t realize america brands ALL its youth as modern tech geniuses, until they get older and ditch us for the next cycle.

and guess what, if the millennials can’t decode what is ai, how will the gen x and boomers who are creating policy… you know what? nvm.

many artists will not jump into ai.

many of them have a natural skepticism because up until now, art was understood as a purely human medium.

ai will force us to question how true it is that art must be made from a human…

…. if ai art can be considered as “human art”.. .

… and if so, to what degree?

the arguments will be endless.

there will be resistance.

finally.

Want more? Follow me on TikTok.

Connect With Me On Linkedin.

LET’S WORK TOGETHER:

Need help with your branding?

Want to spend an afternoon hashing out all your ideas and coming up with a custom game plan about what I think you should do with your social media, business and audience? Complete with little philosophical spouts of the dire state of the world?

I’m currently available for 1-2 clients for September.

I help brand:

• Artists

• Tech Founders

• Fashion Designers

• Creatives

People are not consuming content. They are scrolling through it. So the old style of a simple spray and pray is not going to cut it which you’re probably already noticing.

If you want to learn my secrets, reply to this email or email alex@alexwolf.co with:

Your Name

Your Best Phone Number

And I will reach out to you via text to see if I can help you reach your goals. You can also just email me to say hey and tell me what you’ve been up to, what you thought about this email, ask a question, whatever.

xoxo

Stay Free,

Alex

You know, I was worried about this. I was worried about how millennials’ lack of maturity was going to come back to haunt us. One immature generation is scary enough. The way my heart jumps when when I think of the next one?

One crisis at a time.

The story goes we adopted all this technology to help us communicate and it turns out it’s done everything but that.

Okay, okay. I’ll cut it more slack. Our… what do you like to call these things…“phones”?… do help us communicate—but it’s more to the nature of ping-pong than one of any meaningful conversation.

In this culture, communication is more about throwing sticks to the other side of the line than getting the sticks to mean anything.

The way they sold us these gadgets were as if they were going to be communication jet packs!

That is of course, because we think everything deserves to be shot up, way, way high into the sky.

It takes a special person to realize we are already high in the sky already. Planet Earth is already in outer space.

But yes, it appears our communication as it was simply wasn’t good enough.

We were convinced we could do better.

Here in the hazy skies of my land, nature has never been enough.

Everything can be improved and technology will improve it.

They keep saying.

So that empty feeling in all of our chests is the improvement?

Who really knows how life is supposed to be lived!? Has anyone really thought about it?

Is anyone really thinking about anything?

We are. But we’re trapped behind media cages unable to really get through to each other.

Hilarious, sexy, infuriating, rich media cages.

Oh that’s a fun term. “Rich Media".

What makes media “rich”?

Personally, I’m not sure Meta has any idea what a rich media experience is.

If they did, they wouldn’t serve it on such a shitty platter.

Interfaces are sacred beloved.

They are where you hang your face all day.

Your face decorated with the body parts you need for daily life. Your mouth to eat. Your nose to breathe. Your eyes to see.

All hanging right there getting robbed by God knows who.

I, like you, can sense what’s really going on here.

I refuse to call this media “rich”.

To be cliché, It may be rich in calories, but not in nutrients.

Rich media are films and albums that breathe life into your blood. They can do shit like make you move across country or actually consider forgiving that stupid fuck.

There’s a grade to them that generates vitality.

You know…. Life!

You can put it on and watch a human spirit wake up.

The issue with my world is that we thought it was more important to figure out how to make high life expectancy before figuring out how to make it high quality.

If you take a good look around, quality seems to be the last thing on our minds.

We’ve lost grip of the baton that us as a species have tried to hold on to for forever, but from time to time just gets lost.

The knowledge of ourselves.

It doesn’t take a lot of wisdom to progress technologically.

It takes a lot of wisdom to know when to stop.

You first have to have start with an understanding that your environment is just as important as your body.

In many ways your environment is your body.

At this point the issue has become way bigger than the phones, the issue has become that we’ve designed our entire physical environment around them.

So even if you try to opt-out, your culture has not opted out with you and you risk ostracization, which by the way, is a valid threat to your health.

You risk exposing yourself to social, economic and political blind spots and getting left behind.

So are you prepared to keep up?

Have you felt how fast this wheel is going?

I mean, it’s going so fast, we can’t quite fathom it, can we?

Every time we try, we get picked up be the angels above who carry us gently into another scroll hole. Another infinite wheel.

Maybe it’s me. Maybe I’m the one making this thing go so fast.

We get it. Tyler The Creator wants you to dance when you listen to this album because he’s witnessed what every millennial understands to be very true.

That when you take phones out of the environment, people behave differently. They might actually, dance.

Inventions affect our envrionments.

Environments affect our behavior.

If you insert a new invention into your environment, it will influence your behavior and those around you.

It can change you without you even knowing.

During the 1960s scientists conducted the “Eskimo Experiment” where they gave a small group of Eskimo children TV access and compared it to kids who didn’t have it and tracked how their IQ, vocabulary and cognitive abilities fell right to the floor.

The point is, if you keep introducing new highly influential inventions to your environment your behavior and cognition of your brain will morph over and over again.

It might morph so much you aren’t really sure what you’re doing anymore or if what you’re doing is even working anymore.

What we’re really talking about here are cultures.

And not culture in the LinkedIn-safe way to mean “Black/Hip”.

Culture in the way it really means.

Culture in the way kombucha has a culture.

It’s an organism. It’s alive.

The issue we have with culture now is that we discuss it as if it’s an adjective when it’s actually a verb.

Culture is activity.

It’s a busy-ness and a rhythm of a people who are neighbored to each other.

Who—sometimes directly, sometimes indirectly,—depend on each other to survive. They share space. They share life.

Healthy cultures have a nice buzz to them, as any organism should.

For human beings to thrive they understand our individual health doesn’t stop at our body.

Our personal health is dependent on the health of our cultures.

It’s dependent on the activity happening around us and the activity we participate in.

It’s dependent on what kind activity our environment was designed to create and the activity it somehow keeps making you do.

By taking the phone out the room, Tyler is culture-making.

A simple environmental switch back to a less fussy media landscape.

We have the right to create our own cultures, our own environments, our own collection of activities.

We have the right to ask how certain inventions get here, or if we need them at all.

We have a right to healthy cultures.

Today’s cultures are making human beings that are freaking us out. It’s like humans who don’t know they are human.

Who don’t know they have beating hearts in the middle of their chests.

Who don’t know what tenderness is.

Who feel less.

Who care less.

Who are corny!!!

People who think it’s okay to be an immature, weirdo pieces of shit because that activity is what this culture produces. It’s producing batches and batches of these zombies, these people who don’t know how to connect with other human beings.

Who are some how convinced technology is our savior.

Healthy cultures cultivate the organisms inside them.

They help them fully develop so that they aren’t half-baked and under-cooked.

They help them become self-aware, mature, decent—but certainly not perfect—adults.

At least adults who know the value of feeling something. Who seek feeling alive.

I’m afraid the world’s going numb.

Want more? Follow me on TikTok.

Connect With Me On Linkedin.

LET’S WORK TOGETHER:

Need help with your branding?

Want to spend an afternoon hashing out all your ideas and coming up with a custom game plan about what I think you should do with your social media, business and audience? Complete with little philosophical spouts of the dire state of the world?

I’m currently available for 1-2 clients for August.

I help brand:

• Artists

• Tech Founders

• Fashion Designers

• Creatives

People are not consuming content. They are scrolling through it. So the old style of a simple spray and pray is not going to cut it which you’re probably already noticing.

If you want to learn my secrets, reply to this email or email alex@alexwolf.co with:

Your Name

Your Best Phone Number

And I will reach out to you via text to see if I can help you reach your goals. You can also just email me to say hey and tell me what you’ve been up to, what you thought about this email, ask a question, whatever.

xoxo

Stay Free,

Alex

I stared at him with soft eyes. Boyfriend number 3 and his friend had decided today for lunch I needed an intervention. I had been posting videos of me pole dancing and well, they both didn’t seem to like it.

His friend interjected, “Yeah, I mean, obviously you’re not a hoe. You’re better than that, but yeah, I just see ass.”

I’ve been living in Miami for 2.5 years.

I am officially numb to ass.

Ironically, because the ass is so filled with filler here, the ass has also become numb to us. What a world. The whole thing depends on ass and both of us have become numb to each other?

No wonder no one can feel anything.

[email cont. below]

“Well, I appreciate your opinion.” I didn’t have anything else to say.

I could tell they were disappointed by the lack of emotion in my voice. They wanted to Joe Budden my Melyssa Ford. Hungry for a bite of 2025 podcast gender war tension, and I wasn’t giving it to them.

Yumm.

It wasn’t that I was against going there, I just didn’t care if they saw me as a hoe. In some ways it was kind of the point.

I pole dance because I love the sensation of freedom and power in my body. Those are the literal reasons. But the symbolic reasons are to mock both men and capitalism for being such weak opponents to the power of female sexuality.

How at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how crisp the suit, how esteemed the LinkedIn bio, 9/10 it’s usually big booty Dominican women motivating the driving force behind pretty much everything in this economy.

The sick anthropologist in me takes pleasure in that.

He continued.

“Yeah, I mean it’s honestly sad. It’s just looks like you threw your life away.”

Now there’s a concept.

When he said it I pictured an alternative IG universe where I had on a blazer and descriptions of houses I was showing for sale.

I also pictured him—the man with 2 boats, a Lamborghini, a cyber truck and a Maybach—scroll right past me.

Had I thrown… my life…. away? Is that how it works? You circle a pole and the rest of your life circles down the drain with it? Were all my respectable accomplishments that fragile, they could just pop like a bubble into nothing?

Maybe they can. These accomplishments. What are they good for anyway?— His phone started ringing and broke my thoughts.

“Yeah, I’m with her now.” He said looking at me.

“Yo, I was just telling her that she needs to figure out what she’s doing with her life. Is she trying to be a stripper? I just need to know because …I’m in love with her.”

My eyes widened.

Of course, I thought. This entire afternoon spent berating my image was really this emotionally unavailable 49-year-old’s way of saying…he likes me.

This was a perfect example of what I had been trying to say all along. Well…through my silence.

How one second we’re whores, the next second they’re in love with us.

He hung up the phone and immediately started scrolling Instagram.

As I watched him drift off, I thought this poor guy has no idea how much thought I’ve put into what people were going to think of my

*clutches pearls*

pole dancing.

He had no idea how I’d thought it through.

How I knew people were going to look down on me.

How I wanted them to.

He kept scrolling.

Maybe I did throw my life away, I thought. But what’s so wrong with that?

What was my other life getting me?

What is life getting any of us?

He and everyone else just want me to defend myself! I thought.

To shout and scream that “I’m not a stripper!” “I’m not a hoe!”

But those are all just fancy ways of saying “I’m better!” which I refuse to say.

I'm not subscribing to the idea that hoes, strippers, and pole dancers are the bottom of society or people we should be ashamed to associate with.

I just told you, they can’t be. They literally run this whole thing.

Plus, what if I’m throwing my life away because that’s what I want you to see? I thought.

The trash.

“All I’m saying Alex, is if you want people to take you seriously, you can’t do the pole dance thing.”

Silicon Valley billionaire, Peter Thiel just did an interview for The New York Times where he couldn’t say “Yes” when asked if the human race should prevail. Trump grabs girls by the pussy and Kanye parades his naked wifey every where. Yet, I need to be worried about taken seriously?

I looked at this sweet, lost man and tried my best to get through.

“Well baby, I don’t do it to be taken seriously. I do it because it makes me feel free.”

“You do look free.” he said, still in mid-scroll. Without looking up, he continued.

“You might look hoey, but you’re right. You do look free.”

WORK WITH ME

Need help with your branding?

Want a photoshoot with my team’s creative direction?

Want to spend an afternoon hashing out all your ideas and coming up with a custom game plan about what I think you should do with your social media, business and audience? Complete with little philosophical spouts of the dire state of the world?

I’m currently available for 1-2 clients for July.

Artists, creatives and designers (in particular) thrive with my style of advisory.

For example, in June I met up in person with a “Serial Entrepreneur” from LA who really needed to discover she was an artisanal craftsperson who hates capitalism.

We revamped her business model from needing to sell a bunch of inventory to now only making custom wear for rich art collectors who want to pay a premium for her custom hand work and storytelling.

I had another super talented fashion designer (I get a lot of those) who I taught my “Spider Web” internet strategy and he’s now has made connections with the weird fashion insiders who are hard to find.

The internet is still amazingly powerful if you know how to use it, where to find the people and what to show them.

Even though, fair warning — some guy might call you a hoe from time to time. hehe.

My school of strategy is really scrappy and really honest. The shit that was working 6 months ago isn’t working any more. Most of the time it’s not that your content isn’t good or it isn’t working, it’s just that it’s “good” for a media climate that doesn’t exist anymore.

People are not consuming content. They are scrolling through it. So the old style of a simple spray and pray is not going to cut it which you’re probably already noticing.

If you want to learn my secrets, reply to this email or email alex@alexwolf.co with:

Your Name

Your Best Phone Number

And I will reach out to you via text to see if I can help you reach your goals. You can also just email me to say hey and tell me what you’ve been up to, what you thought about this email, ask a question, whatever.

xoxo

Stay Free,

Alex

do you ever watch my ig stories and wonder how i do it?

come join me.

this is not open for everyone and i’m not 100% sure if I’ll be doing it again but i’m curating experiences for a select group of people who want to learn how to:

• be a better socialite and connector

• grow their business and brand in a 2025 way (and not a 2016 way)

• achieve an aesthetic glow up

• have some real fun!
  

it’s a VIP day that includes:

• real heart-felt advice on what i think you should do with your brand and business

• brunch with me at a fabulous spot in miami or new york

• fun photos together

• a custom organic shout out on my IG page

• options to add:

  • styling session from my personal stylist with 1-2 outfits you love

  • photoshoot with my favorite photographers with an original concept that fits your brand

  • beginner pole dancing class

  • ….or my favorite, catch a yacht! 🛥️
    

If you can’t come to miami or new york then you can opt for a virtual VIP day which includes:

• 1 hr video chat about anything you need help with in business

• Virtual styling & shopping session with my personal stylist

• Options to add:

  • Socialite Coaching (learn how to get anyone’s phone number and throw fabulous parties without breaking the bank)

  • Writers Coaching (trying to write a book? I can show you the process so you are actually successful.)

  • Clean up your bookkeeping (for creatives who are too shy to do their taxes and need someone to hold their hand and organize their books for them in an easy and affordable way). You should seriously consider this if you plan to buy a house, car or want more credit in this next year.

Not everyone is eligible and if you’re interested you have to get in fast. Email me at alex@alexwolf.co to get on the wait list.

Work with me:

My investment company, Pink Merger is buying businesses!

We help founders secure financing, clean up their books and sell their businesses. For more information please email me at alex@alexwolf.co or check us out at: www.pinkmerger.com

april mood board below if you were curious:

i don’t even know what’s going on anymore. none of us do.

and i love it.

i will never be the put-together girl. no squeaky clean reputation.

no neat sound bites like michelle obama. no corporate-safe quotes about AI.

if my network were the 2004 superbowl, i am the sun decal nipple ring on janet’s right tit.

they will try to censor us. pretend we never happened. when in fact, we steal the show.

[email cont. below]

1. My 9ft pole in my office/dance studio

2. This Madeleine Simone Studio pillow case to decorate my couch

3. My mean girls magnets to stare at while I reach for my creamer in the morning.

   

   
   November was full of goodies.

   
   

   1. I launched my first ever “Swagga Like Us” episode with original soho tastemaker, Michael McConnell. I was inspired to interview him about the late 2000s and early 2010s NYC fashion and creative scene where he was interviewing artists like Lady Gaga & Kid Cudi during their rise to fame.

   

   The episode went semi-viral on instagram, specifically the part about how Black folks were wearing business casual to the club due to racist dress codes that basically were anti-hip hop. Reminder: Hip-hop had to fight for every inch it’s got in modern pop culture. It took years of rejection at every angle before it was fully integrated. We went from graffiti being washed off trains to graffiti being sold in fine art galleries. Watch here.
   
   

   2. My client (and homie), Doechii was officially announced to be nominated for not one, not two, not three but FOUR GRAMMYS after launching her project “Alligator Bites Never Heal”!! Doechii and I collaborated over the summer for her brand strategy, spending hours brain storming and testing ideas until everything felt right. She is a true testament to what happens when you choose to be your true artistic self. We are witnessing the rise of a superstar. If you want my help with your brand strategy, email me at alex@alexwolf.co

   

   [email cont. below]

   

rihanna - have we given her enough flowers for how much she’s done for fashion?

me and some gfs - still in my socialite bag. i am in my socialite bag to make money but i am also in my socialite bag to tend to my mental health. not everything is about money.

sexy dancer - she lives on all my mood boards. she represents corporate america. she represents the market. she represents what they do it for.

me and renowned painter amani lewis for her grand opening.

2013 dreamer girl - bc i am her.

“you can’t save a damsel if she loves her distress” - you can’t control me with fantasies if i have fallen in love with my own reality.

But my life and my family is so untraditional that it was never right for me to clump. Individualism gave me intellectual space to exist with you all with no strings attached. At least in my mind. Ayn Rand said “The smallest minority is the individual” and it made perfect sense. 

But my beef with modern technology turns out to be deeply rooted in the fact that individualist perspective is what we build our software out of. We assume that our connection to each other is optional, a matter of choice. 

A couple years ago, after a talk I gave about social media, a gentleman told me he would avoid dating the superficial archetype of influencer who is engrossed in her phone. He said he can just choose to ignore her. “She has nothing to do with me.”

She has everything to do with him. 

Just because we remove our presence from someone doesn’t mean they’ve been removed from our sphere of influence. The truth is, even if this gentlemen never spoke to a superficial LA social media star a day in his life, her presence will still influence his everyday life. 

Her presence influences what kinds of jobs are available. It influences how he will be sized up in the dating market. It will influence the clothes on the rack at his local H&M. It will influence his stock portfolio. It will influence the music and the TV shows he watches. It will influence his little sisters and brothers. It will influence how his mother and his elders are perceived and valued at their jobs. RIP Donda. It will influence how his value is perceived. 

And I don’t want to just pick on the LA, social media chick. We all echo our psyche. But the point is we echo in a web, not in an isolated chamber. When one person moves on this web, the whole web moves. You don’t get to choose and declare this web “doesn’t affect me”. You only get to bask in that illusion. But not for long. Sooner or later you’ll feel it crawl up your leg and won’t know what to do about it. Your culture has gotten out of hand because your culture doesn’t know it’s a part of a whole body. 

I want to say “humans need other humans” but you know this. We know we are a “social species”. We know it intellectually. But philosophically and technologically we don’t live like it. We keep trying to squeeze together using separatists technology. We keep trying to create community with a bunch of little shitty profiles. I keep watching silicon valley smash glass together thinking eventually it’ll create a beautiful sculpture when in actuality there are shards and blood all over the  floor. The desperate attempts to make us feel closer through individualist technology only makes us feel more fragmented. 

People don’t just merely “need” other people. People literally come out of other people. We are related. It appears as if we are separate but there are plenty of emotions, dependences and straight up DNA that proves a human is not really just one person. A homo sapien might be one person but a human is really more like 3-50 people. I mean, it takes two people for you to even get here and at least one of them to keep you alive. Then you need more of them to teach you the basics. You also need an economy of them so you can be able to trade goods/services to have the basics. You’ll want a few to spend spare time with. I mean since you’re here you might as well go fishing or have lunch with a select few you like. Sooner or later you’ll probably get an urge to get one to make a family with and boop— look at that, suddenly you’re making your own. And you’re entirely, one way or the other, interdependent on all of them. 

If you were really an “individual” then when a loved one died you’d feel nothing. But when a loved one does die, part of you dies. Without your loved ones, what are you? Nothing. Are you still human or are you a shell of a human? You’d be human with missing parts. The missing parts would be other people you have a connection with. Trying to feel alive as an individual is not going to cut it. Even if you are physically alone you will still need a butterfly or a book to make this whole shebang feel worth it.

What saddens me is the human species has built-in for you a lot of rich experiences and resources with others but we’ve abandoned them. Typically the access to the wisdom of your elders is part of the program. You usually got that along with the sheer joy of watching youth live out their innocence in full bloom. These are communal, cultural  phenomena that energized you. Sure, all life has its ups and downs but at least you didn’t feel like it was just little old you free falling into a dark pit. The economy wasn’t as complicated and abstract. The fruits were red because they were genetically ripe not genetically raped. The point is, man’s search for meaning is way shorter when he understands he is the son, the father and the grandpa. 

It’s easier to feel human when one step feels like it is taken by three feet, not one foot. The extra weight grounds your sway. They indicate your movement moves everyone. This species is not meant for you to take a wobbly step into the unknown darkness of life alone. The presence of your elders and juniors in your step were there keep you focused, inspired, confident. Sure, this weight can feel like a burden sometimes. Some men have daydreamed what it would be like to cut these extra feet off and go run free. To hell with grandpa and the baby. What about me? 

Well, what about you? To have some individual time is one thing but to have an individualistic culture is not human nature. If you think carrying three feet is a burden try feeling the weight of the world by yourself. You’ll quickly realize those extra feet weren’t dragging you at all. They were distributing the weight of the cosmic load. 

The human is not an individual. 

The individual is not human. 

The human is a clump of people who make the cosmic load worth carrying.  

What we are today is a clump of “individuals” who don’t realize or understand that we are moving each other. The body of humanity has forgotten its feet are connected. They are going opposite directions and that’s why you feel torn apart.