I just came back to Los Angeles after a two-week trip to the East Coast. My fractional work took me to Orlando, where Savoir produced a booth experience at Ulta Beauty World for one of the agency’s favorite clients, Love Wellness. My favorite part of what I do is seeing a product or design come to life from concept. Our 10x10 space was intentionally designed to highlight Love Wellness’ recent product innovation—the new Quick Melt Vitamin Strips.

It was my first time attending Ulta, and the conference didn’t disappoint. We left inspired—and our bags were overweight from all the products we picked up along the way.

Miami was my next stop. I hopped on the Brightline and headed to my friends’ apartment in Brickell. Miami is having a moment, becoming increasingly appealing to residents of Los Angeles and New York. Driven by no state income tax, different politics, and good year-round weather, many people I know have been making the move since the early days of COVID. One of my goals for this trip was to get a better sense of the city, as I’ve been considering relocating there for some time.

But what really brought me to Miami was Summit at Sea. Imagine TED and Burning Man had a baby on a Virgin Voyages cruise ship headed to the Bahamas—that’s Summit at Sea. I’ve attended their land events in the past and have always been impressed by the programming, execution, and quality of people in the room. 2026 felt like the right year to finally go on the boat—for two main reasons: to network and to promote my new brand, Simplimins.

Over the past year, I’ve been leaning into the concept of a portfolio career—a modern approach where you treat your work like an investment portfolio, splitting time between corporate roles, fractional consulting, advisory, and building something of your own, rather than committing to a traditional W-2 path.

I first came across this idea on Substack through Anna Mack’s writing, and something clicked. It felt like an articulation of what I had already been moving toward. I’ve always operated slightly outside of the traditional blueprint. While I’ve held W-2 roles, most were within startups, and I’ve consistently felt the pull to build something of my own.

Three years ago, I found myself in a role at a company where I didn’t have a strong internal team, but I did have decision-making authority and a meaningful budget. That allowed me to hire top-tier branding and marketing agencies like DayJob, Manufactur, and Hawke Media. Around that same time, I finally landed on my own business idea.

I noticed that shilajit, something widely used in Ayurveda and familiar in Eastern European culture, was starting to gain traction in the U.S. I validated the idea, brought on partners, and launched Simplimins.

But that came with a new reality. We’re self-funded, which means no salary and no immediate financial return. If done right, it creates long-term freedom and security, but in the short term, I still needed to maintain a steady income.

Forbes recently published a great article on fractional work—one of the core pillars of a portfolio career. As someone doing fractional leadership work, you have the flexibility to choose which projects to take, which companies to work with, and how to structure your time. It’s exactly what I needed, and everything I’ve been seeing lately reinforces that I’m moving in the right direction.

At Summit, Henrik Werdelin, co-founder of BarkBox, gave a talk titled “From Unicorns to Donkeycorns.” He spoke about how AI is lowering the barrier to building, making this one of the most accessible times in history to start something.

If a decade ago the goal was to build a unicorn, a billion-dollar company, today, the shift is toward “donkeycorns”: self-funded, profitable businesses built with smaller teams and smarter leverage.

“Everyone got the tools. Nobody got the manual. Make many things. Know who you are. Know who you serve. That’s your manual,” Henrik said.

Sitting there, I found myself reflecting on my own path. Today, my career includes two consulting clients, my own business, and creating content for “better-for-you” CPG brands I genuinely believe in. I get to design my schedule and work from wherever I want.

“The concept of career stability has undergone a fundamental transformation. For previous generations, stability meant finding a good company and staying there for decades. Today, nonlinear careers are becoming the norm. Career stability comes from reputation, demand, and repeatable outcomes.” - Forbes

And still—it’s not always easy. There are moments when I miss the stability of a traditional role. The salary. The benefits. The predictability. Choosing this path required a level of trust and self-confidence I didn’t always have.

Then there’s the Summit experience itself.

It was refreshing to see so many interesting people genuinely connecting and forming new relationships—something that feels increasingly rare post-COVID.

There’s a certain beauty about being removed from your typical environment that makes people more open. Conversations start more easily. Curiosity feels more natural. You ask different questions. You listen differently.

I left the boat feeling inspired and energetically charged. The day I disembarked, I noticed that Substack ranked me at #94 on its Top 100 Rising in Business list.

While my spot was quickly replaced, it felt like a small but meaningful signal to keep going, to continue doing what I love: sharing my insights and perspectives on modern work and life here.

And now, before I wrap, a few favorites that earned their place.

Worth the Shelf Space

Magnetic Hat Clip - Hex TOPTOTE by Lindsey Albanese

I’ve had this hat clip for years, and it’s a game-changer for travel. Lindsey, a renowned fashion stylist, launched this self-funded, patented product in 2018—and it quickly became a top seller at Nordstrom.

Simplimins Shilajit Softgels

And of course, I’m sharing my own product, officially launched at the beginning of 2026. Shilajit is a naturally occurring mineral resin rich in fulvic acid and 80+ trace minerals, known for supporting energy, stamina, and focus. Traditionally difficult to consume, we created softgels to make it simple. All products are independently tested by a third-party U.S. lab (Light Labs). Use code ALICOVA for 20% off.

And with that, back to the bigger picture.

Putting yourself out there, whether in business or in your personal life, will always come with a level of risk. There’s no way around it. Just last week, I wrote about the willpower it takes to try again after rejection. And I’ve been thinking about how much that applies beyond one moment or one situation. It’s a mindset.

Summit at Sea was a reminder to stay open. Stay curious. Trust the process, even when the outcome isn’t immediately clear.

Because more often than not, the things that feel uncertain are the ones worth exploring—and the regret of not trying is greater than the risk of failure.

We often overestimate what we can build in a year and underestimate what we can build over ten. In reality, all it takes is staying consistent long enough to see what something can become.

In retrospect, the dots connect.

It’s Coachella week, and I’m on a plane to Orlando for a work project at Ulta Beauty World as I’m writing this. Fun fact: I’ve never been to Coachella, and I don’t feel like I’m missing out, which might sound strange coming from someone who’s been to Burning Man multiple times. To me, these two experiences couldn’t be more different, but that’s a story for another time.

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about putting myself out there lately - as a person, as a consultant, and as a business owner. Not just the act of taking the shot, but what happens when you don’t get the outcome you were hoping for.

I often write my Substack on flights. There’s something about being in between places that makes it easier to think clearly. So I opened my laptop, already knowing the topic I wanted to explore, and the first thing I saw was a story by Anna Mackenzie titled “How I shoot my shot every Wednesday”. How funny, I thought, as I had just typed out my own title: You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.

Anna’s story is filled with examples of what happens when shooting your shot works—consulting gigs, new friendships, unexpected opportunities. While I’m a big proponent of this approach and have certainly benefited from it myself, I noticed that there’s a part of the story we don’t really talk about. And that’s what happens after you miss and how you find the will to take another shot anyway.

Let’s be honest, rejection of any kind can feel debilitating. You are anxiously waiting for a response that never comes. Or it does come, eventually, but the answer is no. And it wasn’t just anything; you actually wanted this. A guy you liked, a job opportunity you were excited about. “It’s so unfair,” you might think. And part of you just… doesn’t want to try again.

I know that feeling well. I’ve shot my shot more times than I can count, and I’ve been rejected just as many. It stings. Sometimes more than you expect. One of the earliest rejections I remember was in my early 20s, when I was working as a hostess at Travertine and XIX Restaurant & Lounge in downtown New York. I was hustling—long nights for $12 an hour, seating guests, managing reservations, running coat check, helping servers when things got busy. When the assistant manager resigned, I worked up the courage to ask to be considered for the role. It took a lot to even ask. I had moved to New York not long before, still figuring out my place, still in the early years of my immigration journey. The manager said he’d think about it. And then… he fired me.

Just like that. No explanation. No notice. No two-week pay. If you know anything about New York nightlife in the 2010s, you know how transactional and unforgiving it could be. I found another hostess job soon after, but the impact of that moment stayed with me much longer than the job itself. In retrospect, I’m grateful the nightlife path didn’t suck me in. Rejection pushed me toward building a career in branding and marketing. But that didn’t mean things suddenly became easy. There were still roles I didn’t get, opportunities that didn’t materialize, moments that left me questioning myself.

Fast forward to my 30s—after a few layoffs, a divorce, and moving across the country from New York to California, one thing has become very clear: success isn’t in the wins themselves, but in your willingness to keep showing up after the losses.

So the real question becomes, how do you deal with rejection and find the will to try again?

1. Don’t give anything more power than it deserves. That’s how the universe takes it away.

It’s natural to want things: certain people, roles, opportunities. When you attach too much meaning to one outcome, you stop seeing it clearly. It’s no longer just an opportunity—it becomes the opportunity. The one that will validate you, change things, make everything click. And that kind of pressure rarely works in your favor. I’ve found that the more I can want something without needing it, the better I show up. You are not needy. You’re more relaxed. More yourself. Less in your head about how it has to go. It doesn’t mean you care less. It just means you’re not giving that one moment the power to define you. Because the truth is—what’s meant for you doesn’t require you to grip it that tightly.

2. When you “shoot your shot,” think of the best possible outcome and the 2nd best possible outcome.

When you’re about to shoot your shot, it’s easy to fixate on one version of success—the exact response you want, the outcome you’ve already played out in your head. But that kind of thinking raises the stakes in a way that doesn’t always serve you. I’ve started approaching things through a wider lens, where I win either way. If I get the outcome I want, great. But if I don’t, I still walk away with something. Applied for a role that feels like a perfect fit? If you get it, you win. If you don’t, you’ve expanded your network and practiced showing up in that room. Seeing someone new and wondering if it could turn into something more? It might become a relationship, or it might simply be a meaningful experience that brings you closer to the person who’s right for you. Not every shot lands the way you expect. But that doesn’t mean it didn’t move you forward.

3. Accept that rejection is simply part of life, and it will happen again.

No matter how good you are, how prepared you feel, rejection is still going to happen. Not once, not occasionally. Again and again, in different forms. And I think part of what makes it so hard is that we treat it like an exception, when in reality it’s built into the process of putting yourself out there. The sooner you stop seeing rejection as something that shouldn’t be happening, the less power it has over you when it does. It doesn’t mean it won’t sting. It just means it won’t stop you.

4. The more you dwell on it, the more you push your new opportunity away.

There’s a natural moment after rejection where you replay everything—what you said, what you could’ve done differently, what it all means. That part is human. But staying there too long has a cost. The more you dwell on one outcome, the harder it is to see what’s in front of you. You start carrying that energy into the next conversation, the next opportunity, the next chance to try again. And without realizing it, you’re no longer showing up fresh—you’re showing up guarded. At some point, you have to let the moment pass. Not because it didn’t matter, but because there’s something else waiting that you won’t notice if you’re still looking back.

5. Try again.

Not right away. Not from a place of pressure. But when the initial sting fades, and you start to feel like yourself again, go again. Because that’s how you slowly build the life you actually want.

And now, before I wrap, a few favorites that earned their place.

Worth the Shelf Space

AKT The Deodorant Balm SC.02

AKT makes the best natural deodorant I’ve tried that actually works. Which, if you’ve tried natural deodorants before, you know is saying a lot. No aluminum, no stains, plastic-free packaging, a genuinely beautiful scent—and somehow, it keeps up all day.

Skin Skulpt Plasma Skin Perfector

This at-home device that uses cold plasma technology to improve skin tone, texture, and absorption, helping calm inflammation, tighten, and support overall skin health. Skin Skulpt is designed by my friend and celebrity esthetician Heather Nicole, whom I’ve been going to for custom facials for over a year now. I’ve personally seen a noticeable difference after using it, especially as someone who’s prone to redness and breakouts. I never travel anywhere without it. Use code ALI10 for 10% off Skin Skulpt or any other products on Heather’s website.

And with that — back to the bigger picture.

Don’t let the fear of rejection be the thing that stops you. Shoot the shot. Some won’t land. But the ones that do have a way of making all the others make sense. Keep going.

In retrospect the dots connect.

New York doesn’t ease you in. It swallows you whole.

I flew in on Thursday night for a work project and was staying at a friend’s apartment while they were out of town — they’d kindly offered me the space. Almost immediately, the city served up a classic New York moment: the elevator broke. Normally, not a big deal, except in this building, each apartment occupies an entire floor, so the elevator opens directly into your home.

Luckily, I had the back entrance key. After hauling my suitcase up the stairs, I decided I deserved a reward. I picked up a bottle of fine red from a shop around the corner, along with something to eat, and headed back upstairs.

In the lobby, I ran into a young neighbor who had recently moved upstairs. He was locked out, his iPhone dying. I invited him up. In a true Carrie Bradshaw moment, we opened that bottle of wine and talked for hours. Somewhere between sharing stories, I learned he was an heir to a billion-dollar real estate empire, which explained the duplex in Tribeca at 25. That's the thing about New York: it collapses the distance between people, mixing classes that would never otherwise meet.

The next morning, I was running around New York, preparing to produce a campaign for the opening of Kinn Studio — a Los Angeles fine-jewelry brand launching its store on Bleecker Street. Last year, I decided to give a portfolio career a real shot. I had spent years in traditional full-time roles, working 9–5 and building brands, but I never felt fully secure. After going through a layoff, alongside challenging personal chapters, including divorce and health issues at different points, I realized one income stream wasn’t enough to make me feel financially safe. So I started consulting fractionally.

I wanted more stability, yes — but also more creative expansion. The ability to work across projects. To learn faster. To build something diversified and intentional. Savoir Agency became my second consulting client. They are an LA-based experiential agency producing bespoke activations for brands like Good American, Love Wellness, Garage, and more.

Our client, Kinn Studio, brought us on to conceptualize and produce their New York store opening. Kinn is a fine jewelry brand known for 14K solid gold pieces set with ethically sourced diamonds, designed to be worn every day rather than reserved for special occasions.

The store itself was designed like a jewelry box. And when you think of a timeless jewelry box, what comes to mind? A wind-up music box with a ballerina spinning inside. That’s how the concept was born.

To bring it to life, Savoir framed the entrance with soft drapery and placed a real ballerina on a pedestal at the center of the space, slowly spinning as guests walked in, like the figurine inside a classic music box. A butler welcomed guests and served champagne and tea from a silver tray.

We didn’t want the story to stay inside the store. So we took it to the streets of New York and made the city part of the performance. We created a narrative around two “off-duty” ballerinas, fresh out of rehearsal, running through downtown in puffer jackets and moon boots, carrying a large poster and handing out tickets to “the show”: Kinn’s grand opening on February 14th.

The weather was freezing, and I knew that we had to keep our girls warm. We ordered them fleece-lined leggings and Uniqlo Heattech to stay warm. The result was a stunning street campaign shot by Dusan Jovic that captured passersby’s attention and drove them to the store.

As the weather warmed and the week progressed, I dined at one of my favorite restaurants, The Corner Store, where classic American cuisine meets bespoke presentation. Every detail there feels intentional. From waiters in tailored suits bringing fresh-cut lemons, limes, and cucumbers for guests’ water on silver trays, to a digital check at the end of the meal that lets you pay on your phone, splitting the bill proportionally or covering only your own items.

I learned that Or’esh, a new Mediterranean restaurant from the Catch Hospitality Group, the team behind The Corner Store, was opening the following week. I couldn’t miss it. Led by Michelin-starred chef Nadav Greenberg, the menu honors his Moroccan-Israeli heritage.

Or’esh is derived from two Hebrew words: Light (אוֹר) and Fire (אֵשׁ). In modern branding, those elements suggest presence and transformation, but here, they’re literal. At the heart of the restaurant is a custom-built grill, where nearly everything is cooked over live fire. We started with Jerusalem bagel and dips, and golden hamuli kadayif — warm, textured, layered — before moving on to grilled branzino and lamb kebab. The meal ended with pistachio vanilla cheesecake and their signature cardamom soft serve, compliments of the kitchen.

Kinn Studio’s grand opening took place the following day, and I headed back to the street to spend time with our off-duty ballerinas. During the five hours I spent overseeing the activation on Bleecker Street, I ran into four people I knew, including my former LA neighbor and one of my closest friends with her partner and kids. That’s the beauty of New York.

When I’m asked what city I like more, I always say that in New York, the adventure finds you, but in Los Angeles, you have to find the adventure. In just ten days, I made new friends, produced a brand activation on the coldest day of the season, dined at chic restaurants where reservations are nearly impossible to secure, and genuinely had a great time - all while operating on very little sleep.

And now, before I wrap, a few favorites that earned their place.

Worth the Shelf Space

ARMRA

I’ve been taking ARMRA for a while now, mainly for immune support and recovery benefits. Travel, freezing campaign production days, late dinners… it all adds up, and I need something that supports my baseline.

Their single-serve travel sticks are what came with me to New York. No bulky containers. More space in the suitcase. My favorite flavors are Blood Orange and Peach Persimmon.

Bellway Fiber

Most of us don’t get enough fiber. Travel only makes that worse. Different restaurants, irregular meals, and less routine. Bellway is one of my favorite clean brands. It’s well-formulated, made with organic psyllium husk and real fruit. My favorite flavor is Strawberry Lemonade.

And with that — back to the bigger picture.

This trip reminded me that happiness is about balance — building a life expansive enough to hold both ambition and adventure, structure and spontaneity. And when you’re doing work that energizes you, the lines blur in the best way. Business becomes connection. Strangers become friends. Ten days can feel like a full season of life.

In retrospect the dots connect.

Every January, the conversation around not drinking gets louder, and non-alcoholic drinks step into the spotlight. Whether you’re entirely opting out or simply recalibrating after a month of back-to-back holiday toasts, Dry January has arrived.

For me, the decision to dip my toes into a sober curious lifestyle wasn’t planned. It happened years earlier, sort of accidentally.

It was January 1, 2020. I was in Miami with a group of friends, celebrating the start of a new decade in the way most people do — late nights, loud music, too many toasts. The morning after felt ordinary enough. A little tired, sipping coffee on the hotel balcony, talking with a girlfriend about what we hoped this new decade might bring. Just another post-holiday morning, being slightly hungover.

Everything was going well until I reached the hotel lobby, ready to check out. Suddenly, my heart started racing, and my palms began to sweat. I couldn’t shake a dreadful feeling that something was deeply wrong in my body. I was experiencing an alcohol-triggered panic attack.

I was no stranger to panic attacks and wrote about my experience in “This Helped Me End My Anxiety For Good and It Wasn’t Xanax”. The strange thing about panic attacks is that even when you know what’s happening, your body is still convinced you’re dying. I felt dizzy, nauseous, and couldn’t even fathom how I’d get on a plane a few hours later.

The next day, back in New York, I found myself looking up the effects of alcohol on mood. Here is what happens to your brain when you drink alcohol.

• It temporarily boosts GABA, the brain’s calming neurotransmitter. That’s why drinking can feel relaxing at first. But once alcohol leaves your system, GABA levels drop and glutamate (responsible for alertness) spikes. This often shows up as anxiety, restlessness, and panic the next day, commonly referred to as hangxiety.

• It also disrupts dopamine regulation, affecting pleasure and reward, while increasing cortisol, the body’s primary stress hormone, both of which negatively impact mood.

These effects are especially pronounced in people who are already prone to anxiety. If I could drink cocktails all night in my early twenties and wake up feeling fine the next day, that was no longer an option as I got older. The hangxiety, lack of focus, and time wasted recovering became too high of a price for me to pay.

I didn’t want to stop drinking completely, but I decided to give Dry January a shot. One month without drinking turned into two that year, and it permanently changed my relationship with alcohol for the better.

So do you really need Dry January? Not at all. But if you do decide to try it (or take a break from drinking at any other time), here’s how to do it in a way that’s manageable, stress-free, and actually sustainable. I’ll also share the non-alcoholic brands that I love.

1. Don’t Treat It Like a Test of Willpower

Dry January isn’t about proving anything to yourself or anyone else. The moment it turns into a discipline challenge, it gets unnecessarily heavy and much easier to “fail.” Instead, treat it like an experiment. You’re not trying to be perfect. You’re simply paying attention. How do you feel in the mornings? How’s your focus? Your anxiety? Your energy in social situations? And if you happen to have a drink, don’t guilt-trip yourself or start from scratch. Just pick up where you left off and rebrand it to “Damp January.”

2. Don’t Announce It or Overexplain

You don’t owe anyone an explanation. If you feel awkward at first, that’s okay. Give yourself 20 minutes. The culture is changing, and a surprising number of people who try Dry January realize that no one actually cares what’s in their glass. And if someone does question it, a simple “I’m taking a break” is enough—no backstory or justification required.

3. Replace the Alcohol, Not the Ritual

For most people, what they miss isn’t the alcohol—it’s the ritual. It’s the signal that the workday is over. The glass in your hand. The feeling of transition. Keep the ritual. Change the contents. It took me some time to feel “normal” in social settings without a wine glass in my hand, so take your time. Pour something into a nice glass - a mocktail, or bitters with soda over ice if you watch your calories and sugar. When the ritual stays intact, the habit loosens its grip without feeling like deprivation.

4. Find Delicious Non-Alcoholic Alternatives

For a long time, non-alcoholic options meant soda water with lime or something overly sweet that felt like a downgrade. That’s changed. There are now great non-alcoholic brands on the market, and almost every respectable restaurant or bar offers well-crafted mocktails on its menu. Below, I’ll share a few of my favorite non-alcoholic brands and mocktail options that make taking a break from drinking feel less like restriction and more like a conscious choice.

5. Redefine What “Success” Looks Like

Success isn’t making it to January 31st without a sip; it’s noticing your patterns and making sense of them. Realizing what situations drain you, and understanding how alcohol affects your mood, anxiety, and focus. For some people, Dry January turns into a longer break. For others like me, it simply reshapes how and when they drink. Both are valid. The goal isn’t abstinence. It’s awareness.

And now, here are my top five favorite non-alcoholic brands to try, even if you’re not doing Dry January this year. These drinks are not only functional but genuinely delicious, with some founded by inspiring female entrepreneurs.

1. Recess — one of the OGs of non-alcoholic drinks. Made as an antidote to modern times, Recess launched in 2018 with a clear goal: to help us feel less stressed and stay calm, cool, and collected. Their drinks are infused with adaptogens, magnesium, and hemp, and are designed to support moments of ease throughout the day. Recess now offers several product lines, including Recess, Recess Mood, and Recess Zero Proof. (You can use my code ALICOVA for a recurring 15% off—you’re welcome.)

2. Kin Euphorics — launched in 2018 by Jen Batchelor, with a celebrity co-founder, Bella Hadid. Kin’s blends are rooted in Ayurvedic principles and are designed to awaken your mind, uplift your mood, and open a portal to connection. You can choose between individual 8oz spritz cans or 16.9oz “Made to Mix” bottles. I particularly enjoy mixing their Dream Light with almond milk and having it as my nightcap. It doesn’t make me fall asleep faster, but I genuinely love the ritual.

3. Ghia — founded in 2020 by , this non-alcoholic apéritif is designed to bring people together. Ghia invites you to take a moment for yourself and to effortlessly move from work into play. Similar to Kin Euphorics, Ghia offers 8oz Spritz cans, 16.9oz Apéritif bottles, and 25.4oz Le Fizz bottles. I’m a big fan of The Original Apéritif, Blood Orange, and Ginger Spritz.

4. Aplós — also founded in 2020 by Emily Onkey, Aplós has been gaining popularity as mocktails featuring the brand have started appearing on menus at places like Soho House and Dream Hotel. Aplós offers larger 8oz spritz cans and 24.5oz mixer bottles. My favorite is the Ume Spritz—it’s the closest to an Aperol Spritz as it gets.

5. Little Saints - the first batch of these non-alcoholic, mushroom-infused drinks was sold out of founder Megan Kline’s mint-green vending trailer in Detroit in the summer of 2021. A lawyer turned entrepreneur, Megan loved socializing but didn’t love how alcohol made her feel. Today, Little Saints offers seven cocktails in 8oz cans, 25.4oz spirit bottles, and recently launched St. Oak, a non-alcoholic whiskey alternative. The brand claims to make you feel different—and I can attest that I do feel more uplifted and bubbly. The Little Saint cocktail is also on the menu at the iconic Château Marmont—further proof that the sober-curious movement is only gaining momentum.

And there you have it—my five favorite non-alcoholic brands!

My experience with Dry January didn’t make me stop drinking. That was never my goal. I still love celebrating a special occasion with a glass of fine champagne or enjoying a glass (or two) of full-bodied red wine on a dinner date. What it did change, though, is how I think about drinking. More recently, I’ve made a few personal adjustments: I stopped drinking during the week—feeling unfocused the next day is never worth it. I no longer drink when I’m stressed or approaching burnout. And I don’t drink in social situations simply because others are having a drink.

For anyone on a journey to change their relationship with alcohol, I highly recommend Quit Like a Woman: The Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol, a New York Times bestseller. This thoughtful memoir sheds light on how our drinking culture disproportionately affects women—and how one woman found her way to healing outside of it.

In retrospect the dots connect.

Burning Man often gets a bad reputation. I get it. To many, it looks like a week-long desert rave for the wealthy, wrapped in anti-capitalist slogans. The truth? It’s not cheap, it’s not relaxing, and you could fly to Europe for less. So why do people keep coming back? And why, after swearing off the playa in 2017, did I end up selling some of my crypto to go again this year?

My decision was spontaneous. I was visiting New York in June and met up with a couple of friends who started their own camp a few years ago. They asked me if I was going and offered to camp with them. Initially, I didn’t plan to attend - I had too much going on at work and was busy focusing on my own projects in my spare time. I returned to LA and received a warm message saying how nice it was to have me back in New York and encouraging me to join the camp again, if I wanted to.

At the same time, I was dating someone in Los Angeles who was also planning to go. I told him about the invite and left room for him to suggest we go together. Instead, a few days later, he ended things on a late-night call, saying he couldn’t give me what I wanted because he hadn’t healed from his divorce. It contradicted everything he’d told me before, about where we were headed and how he felt. I was blindsided and livid, but underneath the anger, I knew he was telling the truth.

The truth is, people can only meet you as deeply as they’ve met themselves. He wasn't a villain — just someone who wasn't as far along as he'd led himself and me to believe. His honesty came late and landed clumsily, but at least it came. I was ready for someone who could actually show up, and that call, as much as it stung, freed me.

The camp fees weren’t cheap, but I knew I needed to go. I was craving adventure and real community. Los Angeles can get lonely. I’d made some money in crypto, so I cashed out a little, paid my dues, and started planning.

The 10 Principles

Burning Man is built on 10 guiding principles.

1. Radical Inclusion – Everyone’s welcome. No VIP list.

2. Gifting – Give freely, no strings attached. Pancakes, hugs, advice — it’s all fair game.

3. Decommodification – No ads, no logos, no “brought to you by.” It’s about connection, not consumption.

4. Radical Self-Reliance – Bring everything you need to survive: water, food, clothing, sunscreen, etc. No one’s babysitting you.

5. Radical Self-Expression – Show up as your truest self, however that looks.

6. Communal Effort – Build, share, and create together. The magic is in collaboration.

7. Civic Responsibility – Respect laws and the wellbeing of others. Play responsibly.

8. Leave No Trace – Pack it all out. The desert should look untouched when we’re gone.

9. Participation – No spectators. You don’t watch Burning Man; you do Burning Man.

10. Immediacy – Be fully present. No filter can replace what’s happening right now.

These are what keep Burning Man different from being just another giant party. Sadly, not everyone lives by them — plenty of people treat the playa as one big Instagram backdrop. But when you see them in action, you understand why people return.

My Camp: Gong Wrong

Our camp was called Gong Wrong (a play on "gone wrong") — spiritual at its core, built around gong meditations meant to foster collective consciousness, but packed with music, art, and chaos in equal measure. The people were an improbable mix: founders and lawyers, artists and entrepreneurs, the kind of group that would never share a tent in the default world. Out on the playa, none of that was the point. We were equals, measured only by how we showed up for each other.

We weren’t a plug-and-play camp where you simply pay and show up. Everyone contributed financially and physically. Most of us flew in early to build the camp ourselves. There was no hired help, except for professionals who safely assembled our large communal tent.

The weather tested us: massive dust storms, then heavy rain that turned the playa into a muddy mess. But our leads were prepared. Tarps under the shift pods kept them dry. A construction vacuum sucked up water. And when the storm stranded some of us, our campmates offered their RVs, so no one was left without a bed.

We lost things to the storm, rebuilt them, and lost them again. It was exhausting. Some camps fell apart under the pressure, but ours only got stronger. One night, when rain trapped us in a 40-foot RV, a campmate cooked for everyone and set up a full DJ set inside. We laughed, danced, and turned chaos into community. That was the spirit of Gong Wrong.

The Dark Side of the Playa

The playa isn’t all magic. A ranger in our camp shared stories of people being drugged and hospitalized. This year even saw the first murder in Burning Man’s history — still under investigation. Some camps crumbled under conflict and poor organization. The desert doesn’t hide dysfunction; it magnifies it.

Why It Was Worth It

So why spend thousands of dollars, countless prep hours, and a week in harsh conditions when I could’ve been sipping spritzes in Europe? For me, it was worth it because:

• Disconnection is medicine. With Starlink and influencer livestreams everywhere, it’s not as unplugged as it once was — but I managed to step away from work. When I came back, nothing had collapsed.

• Strangers become friends. Driving through the streets and stopping for coffee, food, or just vibes reminded me how rare genuine connection feels in daily life.

• Hardship reveals character. Burning Man tested my friendships. Some grew stronger, one fell apart. The desert shows you who people really are.

• It’s a Misogi. In Japan, Misogi is the idea of doing one hard, defining thing a year to grow resilience and self-discovery. Burning Man is exactly that: physical, emotional, and spiritual all at once. But the same can be done in real life — like launching a business or choosing another challenge that pushes you beyond comfort.

• It feels like living in a dream. The playa is surreal, like stepping into a Salvador Dalí painting. It reminded me of Destino, an animated short begun in 1945 and only completed decades later — a reminder that the impossible can come to life in unexpected ways.

Final Reflection

Would I encourage everyone to go? No. Burning Man is an acquired taste. But for me? Absolutely.

More importantly, whether or not you ever step foot on the playa, I’d encourage you to do hard things, show up for others the way you want them to show up for you, and hold onto your integrity. Because the desert may test you, but life will too.

In retrospect the dots connect.

It’s that time of the year again - my birthday. Each year, I take some time to reflect on my learning and the decisions that have led me to where I am today. I don’t compare myself to others; I only compare myself to myself a year ago. That’s the only thing that matters.

Last year was significant in terms of personal growth for me. I’ve closed some chapters, taken risks, and made big decisions. To celebrate this milestone and document my growth, I compiled a list of 36 lessons I’ve learned along the way that I wish I had known sooner.

These lessons are broken into 3 categories, 12 lessons each:

• Life & Spirituality

• Love & Relationships

• Business & Friendships

This will be a quick and informative read!

Life & Spirituality

1. Let go of fixating on one particular outcome. When you stop trying to control the result, every outcome becomes the right one.

2. Have trust and certainty that you will find your way. Let go of a scarcity mindset.

3. Learn how to compartmentalize. It makes life a lot easier.

4. Appreciate everything, attach to nothing. That’s how you keep a clear mind and sharp focus.

5. Anything you’re struggling with right now is likely the result of a decision made from a place of lack. Make your decisions from a place of abundance.

6. Own every decision you make and take responsibility for it—even when it’s easier to play the victim.

7. Not every “sign” is from the Universe. Sometimes it’s just your pattern on repeat. Learn the difference.

8. Embrace your shadows. That’s how the light gets in.

9. Your nervous system doesn’t lie. Listen to your body more than your logic.

10. Learn how to say no to anything that doesn’t serve you or distracts you from your long game.

11. If you don’t make a decision, a decision will be made for you.

12. Welcome every situation—good or bad—and learn from it.

Love & Friendships

1. It can be real, but that doesn’t mean it’s realistic. And just because there’s history doesn’t mean there’s a future.

2. The kind of love you crave starts with how you treat yourself.

3. Always choose yourself first, then choose who chooses you.

4. First, know your worth. Second, regulate your emotions. Third, never settle.

5. Some things have to end for better things to begin. Learn how to confidently close chapters.

6. Friendships evolve. Some expire—and that’s okay.

7. Surround yourself with people who are further along, if you want to keep growing.

8. Everyone in your life is a mirror of you. Look closely, and you’ll find insights.

9. Boundaries don’t push the right people away—they help you see who’s meant to stay.

10. When someone shows you inconsistency, believe them. Patterns speak louder than words.

11. Learn to let go faster. The longer you hold on, the harder it is to receive what’s next.

12. Change is part of any relationship—romantic or platonic. Let it evolve, or let it go with grace.

Business & Entrepreneurship

1. Don’t wait to feel ready. Clarity comes after action, not before it.

2. Networking is not about asking. It’s about connecting. Give value before you expect anything back.

3. Learn to lead yourself before you lead others.

4. Protect your time like it’s your most valuable currency—because it is.

5. Success doesn’t come from doing everything. It comes from doing the right things consistently.

6. Ask better questions. That’s how you get better answers—and build better businesses.

7. Saying “no” is a skill. So is asking for more. Learn both.

8. Your intuition is a powerful tool. Don’t silence it in the name of logic.

9. Commit to the journey and to the people who are on it with you.

10. Just because it’s working doesn’t mean it’s sustainable. Learn when to pause, reassess, and quit.

11. Don’t underestimate the compound effect of showing up when it’s not exciting. That’s where momentum is built.

12. Keep your vision clear, but your grip loose. The how may change—but the why should stay rooted.

That’s my list—36 lessons, lived and learned. Some were gentle nudges. Others were loud wake-up calls. But each one shaped me into who I am today. If any of these landed for you, I’d love to hear which ones and why. And in the meantime, I’m off to celebrate!

I was in Miami last week, attending Art Basel and catching up with friends I hadn’t seen in a while. I stayed with a close friend who was going through a breakup. She’s a beautiful, deep, and complex individual—not perfect, but who is? Her former partner couldn’t accept her fully. The unique traits that make her who she is—traits another man would probably value—intimidated him and caused him to withdraw.

Have you ever been in a situation like that? I have. I’ve been in relationships where men loved parts of me but couldn’t love the whole me, trying to mold me into something I wasn’t. I’ve also been on the flip side, loving the idea of someone but not fully accepting who they were. Needless to say, those relationships didn’t work out—and that was for the better.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned two important lessons:

1. You don’t own anything—you’re simply experiencing everything.

2. You can’t, and shouldn’t, try to change anyone. Either accept them with all their quirks and flaws, or let them go.

Let me elaborate.

Non-attachment is a powerful state of being. The sooner you understand that you don’t own anything (or anyone) but are simply experiencing everything, the happier you’ll be. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t fight for relationships or chase your dreams. It means nothing—not even those things—is more important than the relationship you have with yourself and your belief system (call it Universe, Creator, God, Higher Power, whatever resonates with you).

During a tough time in my life, I put a Post-It on my bathroom mirror that read: Appreciate Everything, Attach to Nothing.

To me, it’s a reminder to cherish all I have—my relationships, friendships, career, lifestyle—without the fear of losing them. I approach everything with the best intentions and give it my all, but if something slips away, I’ve learned to shift my focus and move forward. It took years and losing everything twice to develop this mindset. Nothing truly belongs to us; we’re just here to experience it. But two things we do own are our authenticity and belief system—and those are enough.

When it comes to trying to change anyone (especially a romantic partner), let’s face it—we’re not in the fixer-upper business. You can’t flip a person like a house. Instead of focusing on changing others, focus on improving yourself so you can attract the partner who’s right for you. If you can’t accept someone as they are, set them free. Your loss will be someone else’s gain, and you’ll create space for the kind of relationship you truly deserve.

Life is too short to dim your light or shrink yourself to fit someone else’s mold. Appreciate everything, attach to nothing, and trust that the right connections will amplify your light—not diminish it.

As for Art Basel, it was a fun trip filled with beautiful art, amazing events, and some magical new connections. If you’re planning to head to Miami for it next year, be prepared for a bit of mayhem—and make sure to stay close to where you need to be. The traffic is no joke!

In retrospect the dots connect.

This year was a difficult year for several of my close friends and myself. What didn’t happen! Our collective pool of unpleasant experiences includes breakups, job loss, property damage, financial issues, health issues, and even death in the family. I wrote about some of my experiences in  “10 Steps That Helped Me Reset and Reinvent Myself After A Major Burnout”.

Perhaps one of the biggest realizations I had this year is that, unfortunately, bad things will happen one way or another, no matter how hard you try to avoid them. That’s just life. While there are certain precautions you can take to minimize the impact of these bad events (e.g., securing multiple sources of income or having enough money in an emergency fund in case of a job loss), you can’t predict or control everything that’s going to happen to you. But one thing you can certainly control is how you deal with setbacks.

The first thing you’ll need to do is ditch the victim mentality.

Last weekend, I was at brunch where somebody shared a story about Rick Allen, DEF LEPPARD’s drummer, who lost his arm in a car accident. When asked in an interview if he thought he was done playing, Rick Allen answered:

“I did. I honestly thought that was it. When I finally realized that I’d actually lost my arm when I came around in the hospital, I really didn’t wanna be here, and I didn’t want to see anybody. I think the only person I wanted to see was my brother and my parents, but I just wanted to disappear. I felt so self-conscious. And then a friend of mine, [Robert John] ‘Mutt’ Lange, our producer, he came in to see me, and he just lifted me up, and he turned my attention to what I could do, whereas I was sort of obsessing on everything that I couldn’t do, and he really helped me dig in and find the power of the human spirit, and that’s what kind of lifted me out of it.”

Rick Allen had to relearn how to play drums and use his feet to make up for the missing arm, which created new neural pathways in his brain. He then worked with drum manufacturer Simmons to build a special kit. Rick Allen went on to have a successful drumming career and earned the nickname “The Thunder God” because of his big, powerful sound. I’m sure he had moments of despair and likely felt like a victim. Who wouldn’t? But he ditched the victim mentality and became one of the best drummers in the world.

Stories like Rick Allen’s remind us that while despair is a natural reaction to hardship, it’s not where we’re meant to stay. Victim mentality is comfortable in the short term—it lets us wallow, blame circumstances, and evade responsibility. But in the long run, it traps us. It narrows our perspective, blinds us to opportunities, and keeps us from growing into who we’re meant to become.

The truth is, resilience is a skill we all have to cultivate. It’s not about ignoring pain or pretending everything is fine—it’s about asking yourself what you can do, even when life feels impossibly hard. Where can you create value? How can you grow from this? What might this challenge be teaching you?

It’s in these moments of choice—when we decide to focus on possibilities rather than limitations—that we find the silver lining. Often, it’s hidden in the places we least expect. And sometimes, it’s the very thing that leads us to our true blessings, our purpose, and ultimately, the meaning we crave.

So, what will you choose the next time life throws you a curveball? Will you sit in the comfort of victimhood, or will you look for the lesson, the growth, the opportunity? Because, as I’ve learned, it’s only when we zoom out we realize how even the toughest seasons can lead to something beautiful.

In retrospect, the dots connect.

I’ve been thinking about time a lot lately. Have you noticed how it drags when you’re a child but speeds up when you’re an adult? I remember being in middle school, waiting for what felt like a never-coming summer break. And then, when summer finally arrived, it seemed endless—only for the whole cycle to repeat.

Time feels different as we age because we experience it in proportion to the years we’ve already lived. Maximilian Kiener’s time project beautifully visualizes how time compresses as we grow older. It’s a reminder of how valuable every moment becomes.

In my last post, I talked about time investments, commitments, and decisions. For years, I delayed making decisions, assuming I’d always have time later. I used to operate on my own timeline, rarely comparing myself to others. But as I entered my 30s, I realized time isn’t infinite. I woke up one day, saw how far I’d come but realized that I wasn’t where I wanted to be because I haven’t taken all the risks I should have.

I changed careers and went back to what I loved doing. I started a side project I’d always wanted to pursue but had kept putting off—fear of failure, not having partners, and simply not knowing how to begin had all held me back. But I realized it was now or never. What’s the worst thing that could happen? I asked myself. I might fail, but as long as I learned something, it would be worth it. Not taking action, letting opportunities pass by, only to beat myself up later felt scarier. I owed it to myself to try.

Changing the “I Have To” to “I Get To”

Of course, I went through cycles of frustration and regret for not trusting myself enough to start earlier. Take social media and personal branding, for example. I remember the early days of Instagram — I was working for Juice Press in New York, juggling everything from PR and marketing to events and social media. I grew their business page significantly and was building my own follower base too. I saw solid growth, month after month, with a long-term vision of monetizing my personal brand and eventually launching a product.

Then came my divorce. Instead of pushing forward, I made my page private and deleted followers I didn’t know personally. At the time, it felt like the right choice, but looking back ten years later, I see it differently. Friends and former colleagues who kept going now have 100k+ followers, with their brands sold in Sephora, Whole Foods, and other major retailers. Meanwhile, I’m nearly back at square one. Social media has changed—it’s all about video content now, something I wasn’t used to and am still learning.

When I reopened my Instagram to the public, my first thought was, Damn, this sucks. I wasted ten years, and now I have to work harder and learn all these new tools. But I realized I needed a mindset shift—from I have to to I get to.

I remembered my early days in university, taking screenwriting and video production courses. I loved storytelling and production but had no plans to work in entertainment. Now, though, I realized these skills could help me build my personal brand and launch the businesses I’ve always dreamed of. What once felt like a regret now became an opportunity.

Moving Forward, Not Looking Back

Regrets can weigh us down, but gratitude can turn those regrets into new possibilities. Time isn’t truly lost if we’re willing to take action now.

Here are a few small but effective tips that helped me turn things around and might help you do the same:

• Change Your Vocabulary: Swap “have to” with “get to” in your daily life. It’s a simple mindset shift that can make obligations feel like opportunities.

• Start Small, but Start Now: Don’t wait for a “perfect” moment. Start with a single step, and the momentum will build.

• Turn Regret into Resourcefulness: Look back at the skills you’ve already gained, even if they seem unrelated, and find ways to repurpose them.

Reflect.  Is there a time in your life you feel you lost? What steps could you take now to reframe it as an opportunity? Let me know in the comments below.

In retrospect the dots connect.

This past week, I was hosting a few girlfriends who were visiting Los Angeles from New York. I enjoyed showing them around, and we had a great time together. As a result, I wasn’t able to spend as much time working on this article as I originally planned. But because this piece is about commitments, it felt right to publish it on time—even if it’s shorter than usual.

Time is a limited commodity that we can’t get back. The older we get, the less of it we seem to have, and it’s more important than ever to invest it properly.

Time investment = commitment to a decision.

Like any investment, it comes with risk. If you’re investing all of your time into work, your personal life may suffer. But if you’re investing most of your time into a romantic partner instead of your own growth, other areas of your life can get stale. And if you’re committed to the wrong partner—whether romantic or business-related—you might find yourself set back.

I’ve been reflecting on commitments and time a lot recently. Committing to big decisions like getting a pet, moving cross-country, starting a relationship, or launching a business with someone is scary because it can change the entire trajectory of your life. I recently made a few important commitments that are altering the course of my life in a positive way. How do I know it’s positive? Because I’m committed to the journey and to learning, instead of just focusing on the outcome.

When I decided to move to California, my lease in New York was ending, and I told most of my friends I was leaving, although it didn’t feel real yet. Once I booked my non-refundable, one-way flight, I found myself looking at apartments on StreetEasy and thinking, What if I just move to Tribeca? I got cold feet for a second but then asked myself, What’s the worst thing that could happen? If LA didn't work out, New York was still there. The fallback was solid, so I went.

Making a commitment to big decisions can be intimidating, and if the decision can’t be undone, you need to weigh all the potential consequences. But if it can be undone, you should take action immediately.

So, how do you decide where to invest your time and what decisions to commit to?

Here are a few questions to help guide you:

1. Does this commitment align with my values and long-term vision?

It’s easy to get distracted by short-term gains or external pressure, but asking this question can help filter out decisions that don’t serve your true goals.

2. Am I choosing this because it’s comfortable or because it challenges me?

Comfort can be alluring, but it often leads to stagnation. Growth happens when you lean into the discomfort of making a bold choice.

3. What’s the cost of doing nothing?

We often focus on what could go wrong if we act, but what about what you stand to lose if you stay still?

In the end, life isn’t about avoiding risks; it’s about making deliberate investments of your time and energy into commitments that move you forward. And remember, a decision isn’t always permanent. Be open to course-correcting if something feels off. After all, your journey is uniquely yours—embrace it.

How do you feel about time investment and commitments? Let me know in comments.

In retrospect the dots connect.

A few years ago, I found myself in an unhappy place. My heart wasn’t in what I was doing professionally, and I began contemplating whether it was time for a change. It was during Covid, and changing jobs seemed risky, though I found myself thinking about it often. I’m mission-driven, and my former employer’s mission wasn’t aligned with mine. I craved a change but was afraid to make a decision.

I confided in a good friend who had known me for 10 years and had worked with me in the past. He was the founder of a brand and talked about how difficult the space was, suggesting that it was better for me to stay at my “secure and corporate,” though very boring, gig. A few other friends said similar things, so I decided not to take action. Fast forward a couple of years, and I experienced burnout. I had stayed in the wrong place for too long, and it took me a while to find my path again.

Looking back on my decision not to take a risk back then, I realize I did myself a disservice. I listened to people’s perspectives but took them as advice. While I fully take responsibility for my (non-)action, it’s true that most people don’t realize they’re offering their opinion through the lens of their own experiences, biases, and insecurities.

When someone says, “You should do X,” or, “If I were you, I’d do X,” what they really mean is, “Here’s what I’d do based on my fears, hopes, and worldview.” Their advice is shaped by their personal narrative, not yours. You might think they understand and relate to you because they know you, but in reality, it’s not quite that simple.

Our decisions are undoubtedly influenced by others. Your friends and family may have the best intentions, but they may unintentionally skew you in the wrong direction. A classic example is when you’re getting into a new relationship, and suddenly your friends start weighing in on what he or she is “supposed” to do—or not do—how things need to unfold, and what constitutes a red flag versus a green flag. The same applies to just about every other scenario in life.

So, while it’s valuable to gather perspectives, remember that advice is rarely one-size-fits-all. The key? Filter out the noise and trust your own judgment.

Have you ever had a similar experience with somebody’s advice and what did you learn from it? Let me know in the comments.

In retrospect the dots connect.

If you know me personally, you probably know about my struggles with anxiety. It started when I moved to New York at the age of 18. Not having roots in the U.S. and not having a family home created an unsettling feeling deep in my subconscious. I carried it with me throughout the years until one day it exploded. I had my first full-blown panic attack, which landed me in the ER in 2016.

I remember that day like it was yesterday. It hit me on a train coming back to the city after spending a weekend in the Hamptons. I had a lot on my plate that year, and the stress level was high. “I feel like I’m about to die,” I texted my friend.

Once I reached the city, I quickly made my way to Lenox Health Greenwich Village Emergency Room. It was nearly 100°F outside, which didn’t help the way I felt. They took my vitals, hooked me up to an IV, and left me lying on a hospital bed for hours. I was finally released and went home with an unsettled mind and a referral to a primary doctor. A few days later, I was crying in her office as she wrote me a Xanax prescription.

Xanax won’t address the root of your problem, but it will provide temporary symptom relief. They say Xanax is addictive, but in my case, it wasn’t. I truly needed it in emergencies to give me a sense of relief. There’s no shame in taking it if you need to.

After my trip to the ER, I started having frequent anxiety attacks. Those are different from panic attacks. Anxiety attacks are milder than panic attacks, which are similar to heart attacks in terms of symptoms. Accidentally, I became somewhat of an expert on this, and here’s what I learned:

• Anxiety attacks are often triggered by stress, while panic attacks can happen without warning.

• Anxiety attacks usually come on gradually, while panic attacks start suddenly and peak within minutes.

• Both anxiety and panic attacks can cause physical symptoms like a racing heart, sweating, and shortness of breath. However, panic attack symptoms are usually more intense.

• Symptoms of a panic attack include:

  • Sudden overwhelming fear or dread.

  • A sense of unavoidable impending doom.

  • Dizziness or lightheadedness.

  • Headache and nausea.

  • Tingling in hands and feet.

  • Derealization (a sense of being detached from your surroundings, as though you are viewing your environment through a distorted lens).

A panic attack is typically triggered by emotional stress, while heart attacks are often triggered by physical exertion. Panic attack chest pain is often described as sharp or shooting, while heart attack chest pain is more like pressure or squeezing. Panic attacks can cause tingling, nausea, and sweating, while heart attacks can cause pain that radiates to the arm or jaw and chest pressure that lasts more than 2–3 minutes. If that’s the case, you need to go to the ER immediately.

After constantly working on myself, meditating, doing breathwork, and prioritizing self-care, I noticed that my anxiety attacks subsided significantly. I learned EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique, which turned out to be quite effective for immediate relief. It’s a tapping technique where you tap on each point of your body in the following order:

• Tap on the top, center of your head.

• Tap on the inside edge of one eyebrow.

• Tap next to the outside edge of one eye.

• Tap on the bone underneath one eye.

• Tap between your nose and upper lip.

• Tap between your lower lip and chin.

• Tap beneath one collarbone (find the notch beneath the inside edge of the collarbone).

• Tap under one armpit (about 10 centimeters/4 inches below the armpit).

But if you want to truly address your anxiety, you need to regularly work with your subconscious to tackle the root cause. Last year, I came across Kabbalah and decided to sign up for a class. I’ve always been spiritual and Kabbalah wasn’t really new to me. I mean… Remember Madonna in the 2000s?

I started studying Kabbalah 1 with David Ghiyam, which you can access here. To my surprise, within a week of attending the class, I realized that my anxiety had fully gone away. Perhaps it was David’s delivery or perhaps it was about time for me to finally surrender and start trusting the Universe. Don’t get me wrong, I still occasionally worry about life and the future, but I haven’t felt anxious in over a year. These principles I learned are so simple yet effective, and they helped me put my mind at ease.

So what it is that I learned?

Principle 1: Pause and Say “What a Pleasure”

When you face a challenging situation, it’s better to be non-reactive.

• Step 1: Pause first and observe your reactive nature.

• Step 2: Say “ What a pleasure”. This means you are welcoming the experience. Once you decide that everything happens for you, not to you, your mentality will shift to that of “The Creator” mentality - you get to decide to create this life from here.

• Step 3: Pray to find the best solution to your problem and believe that you will find it.

• Step 4: Be proactive about find that solution.

Principle 2: Have Absolute Trust and Certainty

You need full trust and certainty that everything will work out. You need to believe it, even when it doesn’t feel like it will. Think back 10 years to when the life you live now seemed impossible. What is it that you have no that you thought you’d never have? Create a list of these things and read it out loud. That should give you more trust in moments of doubt. It will remind you that everything is possible and that you will achieve what you desire faster if you are proactive about it. Always keep carrying on and moving forward. And lastly, learn how to surrender and trust yourself and the Universe.

Have you had similar issues with anxiety? What helped you put your mind at ease? Let me know in the comments below.

In retrospect the dots connect.

I’m flying to New York tomorrow, and I’m excited! Ten years ago, I had this wild idea that it would be cool to live in Los Angeles and spend 30% of my time in New York—ideally working for a NY-based company so I’d have more reasons to go back. Little did I know, my dream would become reality in 2021.

Fast forward nearly four years later. I no longer work for that NY-based company, but I still go back every couple of months and stay for at least two weeks. I’ve probably been back 20-25 times since I relocated. Being in New York makes me appreciate Los Angeles, and living in Los Angeles makes me crave New York.

Since I’ve been busy packing this weekend, this newsletter will be light, humorous, and focused on what I’ve learned about going back and forth from LA to NY, along with some of my best travel essentials.

Let’s begin!

Tip 1 - First…  Ditch Your LA Hobo Outfit

I confess, I LOVE LA hobo style. It can be chic if done right. This hobo style is especially popular in Malibu, where the richest people dress like they’re homeless.

I mean… just look at Adam Sandler. The man is worth $420M, and he just doesn’t give a flying f*@k. He’s too cool and has nothing to prove to anyone. I still think he could have put more effort into his appearance when he was spotted walking around New York eating pickles from a jar. However, his look works perfectly in Malibu. Fun fact: I bumped into him at Nobu once, and he was dressed very casually.

I remember one of my first trips to New York after I relocated. I was staying at my girlfriend’s place in Chelsea. She turned her condo into a cool gallery concept called Xposed. Her apartment sits right on the High Line, and passersby can look straight into her windows.

During one of my visits, I woke up craving Juice Press juices (the company I helped build in its early stages), so I decided to walk to their West Village location. It was quite close. I rolled out of bed, put on the sweats I normally wear in LA when I walk my dog in the morning, and hit the streets of New York.

The walk was longer than I remembered, and I never felt more underdressed in my life. I mean it. Everyone passing by had put way more effort into their appearance, including those wearing athleisure.

“Such irony,” I thought to myself as I kept walking in my sweats.

I love being casual. I also love dressing up. I can look low-effort in LA, but I sure as hell put in effort when I’m in New York. There’s no other way around it.

Tip 2 - … Then Check the Weather

When I first moved to LA, it wasn’t the time difference that was hard to adjust to—I couldn’t figure out the weather for a while. LA has four seasons in one day: it’s always cold in the early morning, then it warms up closer to afternoon, gets hot during the day, and starts getting cold again in the evening. LA has a Mediterranean climate (hot, dry summers and warm, rainy winters), while New York has a subtropical climate (hot, humid summers and cold winters).

What’s crazy is when the temperature is in the mid-50s in LA, it feels cold. However, mid-50s in New York is warm and pleasant. In LA, I’d be throwing on a coat, cashmere scarf, and a beanie, while in New York I’ll be wearing a t-shirt and a jean jacket. I advise all my friends who travel here (especially in the fall or winter) to bring warm coats or jackets. Not your bulky Canada Goose jackets (do people still wear them?), but either a nice faux fur puffy coat or a cool thick varsity bomber.

Tip 3 - Now Pack a Capsule Wardrobe…

Alright, let’s get to this capsule wardrobe. How do you decide what goes into it? Think in complete looks. That’s how you start.

Let’s say the main reason for my two-week trip is work. That means I know I’ll need to go to the office 8-10 times, so I need at least 4-5 unique outfits. Wearing athleisure to work may be common in LA depending on what you do, but it’s frowned upon in New York City. Don’t do it if you’re on the East Coast.

I look at what I have and see which bottoms and tops can double as both office and going-out attire. Then I drill down further to see what can be mixed and matched with more chic and sexy clothes for my nights out. I mainly wear solid colors and have a lot of black in my closet, which helps me put together looks easily.

Styling is important, and accessories like belts, bags, scarves, and jewelry help. See what you have in your closet that can transform your day outfit into a night outfit. Accessories won’t take much space in your suitcase but can really uplift your outfits. A good tip to save space in your suitcase is rolling some clothes instead of folding them.

Unlike Angelenos, New Yorkers walk a lot, so make sure to bring comfortable shoes with you, whether they’re sneakers or boots, but don’t forget high heels for your nightly outings.

Tip 4 - Weight Your Checked Bag

I made this mistake a few times. My checked bags were too heavy and cost me $100 instead of the typical $35-$45 airlines charge. Although you can usually tell if your luggage is overweight by picking it up, I suggest investing in a digital scale. It’s even more helpful on international trips. I use a simple one from  Amazon 

Tip 5 - Pack Your Vitamins in Smaller Bottles or Travel with Individual Liposomal Sachets

I recently discovered a miracle hair growth vitamin that really works. It’s MaryRuth Hair Growth Max! My hair started becoming fuller and thicker after a month. The hair vitamin is liposomal and comes in a 15 fl oz bottle that needs to be refrigerated. Great to use at home but not ideal for traveling. And since I don’t like changing my routine, I always take my vitamins with me whenever I travel. Luckily, MaryRuth has a travel version with 14 liposomal sachets in  Maple French Toast flavor.  Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with the company. I met David Ghiyam, the co-founder, at a friend’s house once and ended up taking his Kabbalah 1 class but that’s as far as it goes.

In addition to this magical hair growth elixir, here are the two powerful supplements I take on a daily basis:

• Tru Niagen NDA -  clinical-grade serving—advanced NAD+ support known for greater cellular benefits and vitality. I’ve been taking this longevity supplement for 5+ years now.

• Armra Colostrum - powdered extract of the nutrient-rich fluid produced by mammals after giving birth, which provides powerful, unique immunity. Armra comes in jars and convenient travel sticks.

Tip 5 - Carry 2 Pairs of Air Pods and Wired Headphones with a Traditional Jack

LA to New York is a long trip. I listen to a lot of podcasts and music, and I find my AirPods occasionally dying when I’m up in the air. That’s when the second pair comes into play. And of course, you may need wired headphones with a traditional jack if you want to watch a movie. Because let’s face it, the ones they pass out on the plane aren’t the best.

Now onto my travel essentials part! Below is a short list of my absolute favorites that help me optimize my travel, broken down by category.

Airport Fashion

• Joah Brown Second Skin Tank in Onyx - truly feels like second skin.

• Alo Airlift High-Waist Leggins - athleisure staple.

• Comfrt Sweatpants Set - new set I’m trying. 

• KOIO Capri - classic white sneakers.

• TUMI Carry-On Suitcase - my travel veteran. There are many great innovative travel suitcases on the market but this good old 4-wheeled TUMI works great. However if I were buying a suitcase now I wouldn’t go for such an expensive non-tech model.

• Louis Vuitton Neverfull GM - another travel veteran of mine. Literally anything fit into this bag and it fits under the seat in front perfectly.

• Bandolier Emma - keeps my iPhone, ID, and credit cards together.

Skincare and Beauty

• Medicube AGE-R Booster Pro - my favorite beauty delivery and my secret weapon. This baby combines 6 devices in 1 and delivers true results. My skin has never looked more plump. 

• Hanacure The All-In-One Facial® - facelift in a bottle. 

• Capre Deodorant Wipes - new discovery, their products really work 

• Aesop Resurrection Aromatique Hand Balm - all time favorite nourishing hand balm that smells divine

• Nail Scrubbers by Butter - I’m one of very few women in Los Angles and New York who doesn’t do gel manicure in salons. I like the fresh nail look and if my trip is longer than a week, my nail polish is coming with me.

That’s all for today! I’m going back to packing. While I’m at it, please tell me your travel essentials in the comments! 

In retrospect the dots connect.

We all share similar problems to some degree and can benefit from learning from one another. When you’re faced with a problem (personal or business), I guarantee you that there’s at least one person in your circle who has likely dealt with the same issue and found a solution. All you need to do is ask.

If you want to ask for help effectively, there are a…

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Last September, I was leaving Los Angeles for a month. The trip was long but very much anticipated. I was returning to New York, the place I call home. I spent 14 years there before I took a leap of faith and fulfilled my dream of moving to California. The plan was to spend a few weeks in New York, fly overseas to see my father, whom I haven’t seen in person for 5 years, come back to New York, make a quick work trip to Boston, then back to New York again, and finally to spend a weekend in Miami celebrating the birthday of one of my closest girlfriends. A lot of destinations to fit in just 4 weeks!

I’ve always loved New York in September. This is when the temperature is finally starting to drop and it’s no longer unbearably hot. The leaves are slowly turning yellow, and there are many fun and exciting art and fashion events happening in the city. What’s not to love? I’ve been living in Los Angeles for 3 years now but spent the full month of September in New York twice. However, this September didn’t turn out to be what I anticipated.

Before my trip, I got my first tattoo — the word “forward” on the inside part of my arm, right below the elbow. It was important for me to do it before flying back to my motherland. I wanted to remind myself of how far I’ve come and all the challenges I had to overcome on my journey. Little did I know that this tattoo would soon have an even more significant meaning.

A lot went wrong on this trip. I was finishing a long, complex project. I was working 12-hour days for weeks at that point, it was getting exhausting. I could feel the burnout quickly approaching. Traveling overseas for 24 hours to spend just a week on a different continent was exhausting. Being there and seeing my dad was rewarding but emotionally difficult due to the intricate family dynamics. And once I landed back on US soil, things kept going the way they weren’t supposed to.

My work meeting in Boston got canceled. All of my personal appointments in New York (the ones that brought me there in the first place) needed to be canceled as well for various reasons. Meanwhile, in LA, my dog’s boarding didn’t go as planned and I had to quickly troubleshoot. It seemed like nothing was going right.

Back in New York, I learned that my company’s 2024 business priorities were shifting and they weren’t aligning with my long-term professional goals. I asked myself where that would leave me and what I need to do now. Needless to say, I knew we needed to part ways because staying was no longer an option that would benefit me in the long run.

This was particularly alarming because I was in the process of scheduling a surgery to take care of a recently discovered health issue — I needed to keep my health insurance. Luckily, my issue wasn’t life-threatening, but it was time-sensitive and needed immediate attention because I was in physical pain.

Everything felt out of place, and I was quickly approaching a total burnout. I was at a breaking point, and when it seemed like nothing else could go wrong, I got the devastating news of a friend in Los Angeles suddenly and tragically taking his own life due to mental health issues. That’s when everything came to the boiling point for me.

I crashed and burned.

This was it. All I could feel was grief, and it was paralyzing. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t think. I was functioning on autopilot, and at that point, I had been surrounded by people 24/7 for weeks. Zero alone time. I couldn’t wait to get back home to Los Angeles but I still had a commitment in Miami. And all I wanted was to go home. I slept 2 hours and took a 7 am flight. My host whose birthday celebration I committed to attending was supportive. She let me talk, she listened, and she provided me with the best accommodations possible. I attended the dinner, skipped out on everything else, and crawled straight to bed. And for the first time in many days, I finally slept for more than just a few hours.

I returned to Los Angeles and was promptly faced with more challenges. There were sudden paperwork issues I didn’t anticipate and that I now needed to resolve and there was a high price tag attached to that. Then there was the funeral… And there was my poor car — broken into in my secured garage the following morning. Reality felt like a never-ending bad dream.

If you don’t make the decision, the decision will be made for you.

A professional change was happening fast and it was needed. I took time off to rest and reset. Thankfully, my employer gave me what I needed the most — the time and the resources to take care of my health and recover. Truthfully, I don’t know how I would have managed without their support.

Overwhelmed with emotions, I didn’t know where to begin. So I began by taking care of me. They say when it rains, it pours and in my case, it was a thunderstorm. The series of unfortunate back-to-back events were hard to handle at once. I looked at my tattoo, looked in the mirror, said to myself “You got this,” and started the process of getting back on my feet.

So how did I navigate the burnout and get back on my feet? By following the 10 steps below.

Step 1 — Disappeared Into My Cave

I strictly limited my communication with friends and family. I simply didn’t have the mental capacity, the energy, and the desire to talk and answer questions. I was saving the last bits of myself for important interactions I couldn’t avoid. At that stage, I was depleted and found it hard to talk to people. It lasted about 2 weeks.

Step 2 — Felt My Feelings

Intricate family dynamics, professional change, loss, health worries, financial pressure… I had to deal with all of it at once. All I could feel was grief and it was overpowering. It was in my body and it was heavy. So I let myself fall apart and feel it all without putting pressure on myself. After 2 weeks of processing everything in silence, I was ready to slowly move forward.

Step 3 — Went on a Solo Staycation and Immersed Myself In Nature

California beaches surrounded by mountains always made me feel at peace. I took my dog and drove to Laguna Beach where I booked myself a nice boutique hotel. I slept, I ate, and I explored nature. I sat on the beach for hours journaling and watching the waves. I replaced music I normally listen to with binaural beats and had these sets on repeat for hours, reading and meditating to them.

Step 4 — Rediscovered My Authentic Code

I knew I needed to start fresh, so I listened to myself, and my meditations helped me remember what it was that brought me joy in the past. And it was everything creative — writing, graphic design, branding. Journaling seemed to help A LOT, so I continued writing. I used to do it more when I was younger and always enjoyed the creative expression it gave me. Creativity had been missing from my professional life for a while, and only now did I understand how much it was affecting the way I felt. It was time to reinvent myself.

Step 5 —Paid Attention to the Signs From The Universe

I was walking my dog and saw an OOH billboard for Jay Shetty’s class “Navigating Change” on MasterClass around the corner from my apartment. I had a subscription and felt like this was something I needed to watch. Jay covered the “necessary change” that’s hard but will benefit one in the long run (e.g. a career change that’s hard but needed) and a “sudden unexpected change” (e.g. ending a relationship or losing a loved one) that happened to you.

It felt like Jay was speaking to me personally and guiding me through the process.

Step 6 — Tapped Into My Passions and Started Learning

I knew I needed to tap into my passions and start learning again. I explored what else MasterClass had to offer and watched classes on personal branding, career, and entrepreneurship. Once I was done with MasterClass, I tapped into design tutorials. I learned Canva, I learned Wix, and built my portfolio site. I went down memory lane, reliving all the creative and fulfilling projects I worked on, and it felt so good! I put together a mind map on Miro and now I had a plan. I did more for myself during that month than I did in the last year!

Step 7 — Started Networking Again

At that point, it had been a little over a month. I was feeling better and was ready to network again. I began reaching out to entrepreneurs I knew and asking them to meet with me. Everyone I reached out to responded and wanted to talk. Los Angeles is great this way because you can casually meet somebody for a hike or coffee at 8 am to discuss potential business opportunities. New York is more formal when it comes to that, and all your meetings will likely be late in the day and will include alcohol. The last thing I wanted to do was to go to a bar and drink.

Step 8 — Said No to Distractions

As I was reestablishing myself, I had to stay focused. I started saying no to things that were distractions — girls' dinners, drinks, etc. I caught up and socialized with friends on hikes, at wellness studios, and in yoga classes. Every time I got an invitation, I asked myself — would I be gaining something from this experience, or would it take something away from me? And if the experience was only going to take away from me, I would say no to it and stay home reading, writing, and educating myself.

Step 9 — Stayed Active and Stayed Mindful

I needed to keep my body moving and keep my mind still. I continued with my wellness practice, which included yoga, infrared sauna, cryo, flotation, and meditation. I tried to stay as consistent as possible because small daily actions build a routine and lead to bigger actions. I started planning my days the night before and writing my “Top 3” for the next day on a post-it. I kept doing it every night so that I had some sort of structure to my days.

Step 10 — Kept Faith and Continued Moving Forward

I was doing the best I could to continue moving forward and focused only on what I could control — how actively I was pursuing new job leads. The rest was up to faith. It was the holiday season, and things were slow. The layoffs were still happening across all industries and everyone was feeling the pressure. I knew I had to wait until the next year to continue my search for a new opportunity.

January came, and I finally had my surgery.

That was behind me now, but I still needed to find a new job. And as financial pressure started to build up, there was a breakthrough. I was approached by a company in the functional beverage space that needed a marketing director to lead their rebrand and GTM strategy. This was right up my alley and it was a creative project I was looking for. We talked and very quickly I got an offer from them which I accepted. They wanted me to start in 2 weeks.

And finally, things started to turn around…

Final Thoughts

When we are faced with difficult situations, it might be hard to process them in the beginning. There will be all sorts of emotions running through you: anxiety, sadness, anger, grief. Take a break, disappear. Feel them, live them, let them go. Know that things will get back to normal, even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time. Keep that as your north star and don’t question it.

The meaning is not in the situation itself; the meaning is in what happens next and what you do about it.

Take a mental inventory and learn your lessons. Is there anything you could have done differently? What will you do differently if you find yourself in a similar situation in the future?

Take those lessons and apply them across all areas of our life. Turn your pain into your fuel. Light it up and use it to skyrocket from your personal rock bottom. Rediscover yourself. Connect to your authenticity and things will fall into place. Keep your faith and always move forward. I’m ending this story with a quote by Mooji, a Jamaican author and spiritual teacher:

“Step into the fire of self-discovery. This fire will not burn you; it will only burn what you are not.”

In retrospect, the dots connect.