Commuters on the Staten Island Ferry got more than they paid for last week when they went for an on-board donut and coffee at Dunkin’.

An employee, ever faithful to what he probably sincerely believed would gain favor in the eyes of Allah, was careful to bathe his feet before prayer.

Unfortunately, Mayor Zohran Mamdani, or whoever runs the Staten Island Ferry these days, has not yet seen fit to install wudu stations on the watercraft. Our faithful man, intent on following the letter of the law, used the only practical option available to him.

He used the sink in the counter of the food preparation line provided by his employer, the donut chain. Unfortunately, he was in the line of sight of customers, many of whom were apparently not People of the Book, but who were armed with smartphones.

The video went viral on TikTok before the ferry docked.

I would be fairly surprised if there were not an executive order—or whatever New Yorkers call it when a Mayor deems immediate action is needed—requiring the placement of foot washing stations on the ferries.

Back in the day, maybe 1996, I paid 50 cents to ride the ferry past the Green Lady Holding the Torch. With the Twin Towers dominating the skyline at that time, it was pretty impressive. I suppose one could render what the Lady said as, “Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to cleanse their wretched feet…”

But, actually, she did NOT say that.

As for the commuters, I am sure that seeing the guy who rustles up the donuts washing his feet in the sink right next to your order of small glazed and coffee would also be impressive, in its own sort of way.

Number 3. RedState. American Girl Scout troops add badges for Islamic accomplishments.

Yes, this was inevitable, just as the next rung on the ladder will also be inevitable.

Certain local Girl Scout troops—not the official organization, mind you—have added Muslim badges to their panoply of celebrations for accomplishments. Badges are awarded for Muslim prayer, Ramadan observance, mosque visits, hijab instruction, and certain “Ramadan lock-in” events, which sounds kind of fun.

In most cases, but presumably not all, the troops involved are sponsored by local mosques.

The badge requirements are spelled out, not by Girl Scout USA, but rather by the National Islamic Committee on Girl Scouting (NICGS).

Oh… there’s a committee? It must therefore be legit.

Badges require various accomplishments for girls who are Daisies, Brownies, Juniors and Cadette. Some include:

• Demonstrate how to make wadhu.

• Recite Surah-al-Fatifah in Arabic.

• Explain two rakah of Salah.

• Name the five daily Salahs and what time of day they must be performed.

As you can guess, I have no idea what any of those mean. But there is an unspecified number of young American ladies-in-training who are learning them as you read this. One of these days, they will trade their cute GSUSA uniforms for anonymous black chadors with eye slits or face netting. And then submit, for the rest of their lives, to their husbands. According the word of the Prophet.

I wonder if they get badges for decorating certain types of vests? This article doesn’t say.

So… not to put too fine a point on it, but: We can accept this for girls, but we cannot have Boy Scouts USA? Where they learn outdoor survival, fishing, or bowhunting?

Someday, if boys are included in mosque-led scouting events, will they learn how to treat infidel women who REFUSE to wear the chador? I’m just asking.

Number 2. NBC Chicago. Gary, Indiana, out of power, greets workers with random gunfire. The lights are still off.

Earlier this month, tornadoes tore through the Chicago metropolitan area. Some 38,000 homes in nearby Gary, Indiana, were left without power.

Here in flyover country, we are not unaccustomed to losing electricity due to a storm. On rare occasions (VERY rare—it happened once in 2005), the power may be off for as much as three days. Long enough to thaw out the frozen steaks and grill them before they are lost.

When the heroes show up in the service trucks with the cherry pickers, we all breathe a sigh of relief, welcome them with smiles, and offer coffee or leftover chicken salad sandwiches or something.

But that’s here.

In Gary, Indiana, residents shoot at those workers. Bullet holes and shattered windshields now adorn company vehicles.

Which goes a long way toward explaining why the power is still off in Gary after two weeks.

Sometimes, you observe a behavior that is completely—I mean COMPLETELY—outside your realm of expectation. You are left speechless, with knitted brow.

Eventually, you might be able to verbalize: Why in the world did he do THAT?

This is too perplexing. Let’s move on.

Number 1. NBC News. Minnesota crane operator making shadow art on a jobsite manages to crush co-worker’s skull.

Speaking of Darwin awards, a pair of workers cleared brush in Minnesota. One was on the ground, the other in the cab of a hydraulic grapple. The grapple was used to lift large quantities of brush, or even whole trees, and place them where they could be disposed.

Every job has its fun moments, and this one came when the machine operator noticed shadows on the ground, cast by the movement of the hydraulic arm and the teeth of the grapple.

It should be noted the teeth of this machine are maybe three feet long, curved, probably weigh fifty pounds each, and are easily capable of lifting a car.

In the cab, Joe-Bob (not his real name, at least I hope not), got to jockeying the crane-supported hydraulic arm to show a shadow in the forest grabbing his buddy Dooley (again, not real) by the head. Unfortunately for Dooley, Joe-Bob made the shadow by actually seizing Dooley with the pincers.

And that was that.

The only real good part of the story is that the shadow on the ground did not duplicate the copious quantities of blood that appeared.

The bad part is that there is now one dead body, presumably bound for a closed-casket funeral, and another facing manslaughter charges.

I wonder if the grapple training had explicitly said, “Don’t horse around with the grapple to make shadows on the ground.” I mean, if it had SAID that, maybe Joe-Bob would have gotten the message.

It used to be you could buy antifreeze, and the warning label said something like, don’t mix this with your motor oil. These days, it says, don’t drink it.

But, I digress.

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It ought to be patently obvious that the only players invited to play basketball in the Women’s National Basketball Association are women. It ought to go without saying.

And it did, way back in the 20th century. In 1996, when WNBA was founded, no one had to define what a woman was. It was generally well known, since approximately 100% of people who ever thought about it had a woman for a mother. That person was clearly distinct from the person who was the father.

The unfortunate condition where those bio parents were not part of a person’s household had nothing to do with which was which.

But that was in the long ago, in the previous century.

Today, a woman must be defined. This is a surprisingly difficult task for an organization with the term in their very title.

According to WNBA Commissioner Cathy Engelbert, the question of what makes a woman is a “complex and nuanced” challenge. Give us two or three months, saith Ms. Engelbert, and we’ll get back to you with an answer.

Meanwhile, there are two women who want to be drafted to play, because they think they are well positioned for success in the WNBA. Those would be Enes Kanter Freedom and Royce White.

Mr. Freedom played in the NBA, which interestingly does not feel the need to include “Men’s” in the title of their organization, nor to pass judgment on whether women who declare they are now men ought to be admitted to their ranks. Apparently the trans thing only goes in one direction when it comes to a sport where size, speed and musculature matter.

Most recently, Kanter played for the Boston Celtics and the Houston Rockets. Now he has declared his womanishness and is demanding acceptance by the WNBA.

He says if he is drafted by the Indiana Fever, he could team up with fellow girl player Caitlan Clark. He speculates they could be a dynamic duo, where they could team up for a fast-break score and then chest-bump each other, which he could do because he is now a woman.

The other lady in waiting is Royce White, the 6’8” 270 lb power forward from Iowa State. He also played for the Houston Rockets; and the Philadelphia 76ers, the Sacramento Kings, and most recently for the London Lightning of NLB Canada.

Mr. White has been deeply offended that the WNBA has been hesitant to let him join. He attributes that to the fact that they are discriminating against a black female (himself) and has threatened to sue the organization to be allowed to play.

The WNBA in response issued a statement that they “embrace justice, equity, diversity, and inclusion," while going on to reject "hate, abuse, and demonization.”

It sounds like the term “woman” is not alone in needing a definition. Maybe “equity” and “demonization” could also use some clarification.

It will be fun to see where this ends. Except it does not appear to have an end. Ever.

Number 3. The Gateway Pundit. Afghan success story documentary scrapped after arrest for grisly murder.

This has got to be a little embarrassing for the International Federation of the Red Cross.

In 2016, a young Afghani man found his way to Greece, sought and received asylum there. Sharif Ahmadzai, then 16 years old, grew into a professional boxer over the next ten years. He was helped on his way by a well-meaning American couple who met him upon his arrival in Greece and invited him to stay while they ministered to refugees in the ill-fated Moria Refugee Camp on the island of Lesbos.

The three—American parents and Afghani teenager—bonded into a semi-family. They apparently all agreed that Sharif was an adopted son, but the legalities of that are a little muddy now.

The Red Cross found Sharif’s success story so compelling that they produced a four-minute animated film documenting his escape from Afghanistan and subsequent success in Greece with the Americans.

However, when the young man was accused last week of murdering a 38-year-old female aid worker and stuffing her body in a suitcase, the Red Cross backed off the documentary plans slightly.

Sharif was captured on surveillance video towing a large roller suitcase through Athens. The suitcase was later discovered to contain the remains of the Scottish aid worker.

The sort-of parents expressed shock and dismay at this development. The now 26-year-old claims the girl was dead when he found her; he only put her in the suitcase and stashed it in a vacant building because he didn’t know what else to do with her.

Although his uncertainty did not keep him from using her credit cards and withdrawing $10,000 cash from her bank account.

Meanwhile, the documentary lauding the outstanding success of a young refugee finding his future has languished. This sort of thing could put a dent in Red Cross donations for a time.

Number 2. CBS Los Angeles. Gang members contract to clean up homeless sites.

You’ve just gotta love a business plan when savvy investors work hard to build success.

Take Ghost Town for example. They are a group of gang-bangers who—in my imagination—were sitting around one day contemplating the future, and how to improve their prospects.

“Think about this, guys,” said Big Thumper. “Wadda we do that we’re really good at?”

“Well,” said Trash Killer, thinking out loud, “We beat people up.”

“That’s it!” shouted Brain Damage, jumping to his feet. “Folks are scared of us! All we gotta do is find some rich people who will pay us to scare people!”

“Yeah!” replied Big Thumper. “And if they don’t scare, THEN we can beat ‘em up!”

Thus—again, purely in my imagination—was born the idea of Ghost Town. The gang, now a respectable entrepreneurial organization, contracts with legitimate homeowners to vacate homeless persons who have squatted next door to the polite folks.

It is the 21st century rebirth of the protection racket. “Sure is a nice place you got here; be a shame if anything happened to it,” has morphed into: “Sure is a nice place your neighbors got there; be a shame if you got beat up for living next to them.”

Police and homeless advocates have taken a somewhat dim view of Ghost Town. One has called them “thug security,” while others have wondered where the displaced homeless go once they are relocated.

Which could be part of the business model: expanding from one neighborhood to the next.

A Ghost Town spokesperson is duly outraged by the suggestion that they would engage in violence or fisticuffs to carry out their business plan. At clean-up prices ranging from $250 to $1000 per month per client, that’s just ain’t how they roll.

They got a respectable bidness here, see?

Number 1. CBS News. Minneapolis broadcasts all 5 daily calls to prayer.

In a hopeful sign that those who dwell in America are re-discovering faith in God and embracing His will, a religious leader in Minneapolis has proclaimed: "…a very simple message, to share the greatness of God and to call people to success."

That sentiment is worthy of the founders of America, but in this case was voiced by one Jaylani Hussein, executive director of CAIR (Council on American Islamic Relations)-Minnesota.

Mr. Hussein’s vision of sharing God’s greatness involves being faithful in public prayer, and to that end, he is delighted the City Council has unanimously approved the use of community resources to announce the Muslim call to prayer five times daily.

Furthermore, Jaylani Hussein explains that this is entirely in keeping with the U.S. Constitution, as it expresses, “the basic principle of freedom of religion,” which is guaranteed to all Americans.

I expect he will keep saying that until his entire community is submitted to the will of Allah.

Years ago, Ayn Rand expressed something very like this in Atlas Shrugged. Her message was: Don’t let them hold you hostage to your own convictions. Basically, recognize that an enemy can dominate you by using your own beliefs against you.

It sounds like the political manifestation of judo… using the opponent’s weight against him.

It will all work fine, if you think Sharia law—not the Constitution and the Declaration—is the right future for America. Because that is where we are headed.

Of the 13 members of the Minneapolis City County, by the way, three are Muslim. My supposition is the other 10 are frightened Lutherans.

And thanks for joining The Alligator News Roundup for Friday, August 21, 2026. Enjoy this summer weather, here in the northern hemisphere, while it lasts. In about two months you’ll break out the wools and flannels and wonder why you didn’t lay in some firewood when you had the chance.

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Is it such a crime to merely find a place to soak your feet?

Whether criminal or not, there is apparently a penalty at Yellowstone National Park.

A 21-year-old man and his sister visited the geysers last week. They stayed on the park-provided boardwalks—until they didn’t. The waters seemed too hot and the pools too inaccessible for their purposes. Ignoring the overlarge signage ordering sightseers to STAY ON THE PATH! (signs are EVERYWHERE) they left the safety of the boardwalk and drifted across ground dotted by smaller, yet still sizable, pools.

A place to sit quietly, remove the shoes, and let the feet soak was all they really wanted.

The young man—whom I shall not name here out of respect for the dead—stepped close to a likely-looking puddle and dipped his finger to check the temp. Something went wrong, he slipped, and fell in.

The water was later measured at 100C, which as I recall is boiling point. Here in the flatlands, that would be 212F, and AI tells me water boils around 199F at Yellowstone. Either way, it sounds too hot for a finger-in-the-soup test.

Unfortunately, when the young man fell into the pool (maybe the involuntarily jerk of the finger in boiling liquid pulled him in?), he floated—or maybe bubbled—far enough from shore that he could not be easily recovered. Park Rangers showed up and were unsuccessful in bringing him back to solid ground.

The man’s sister, in a move that would make anyone swear off everything electronic forever, captured the entire sequence on her smartphone. Not exactly home movie footage.

The body sank and the Park Rangers departed, thinking to recover the young explorer’s remains the following day when they could bring suitable equipment.

However, in one more cruel twist to demonstrate just how serious Nature can be, the next morning they found… only his wallet and his shoes. There was nothing left of the body.

Nothing.

They concluded the high temps and acidic makeup of the Yellowstone water had completely dissolved him, clothing and all.

Yeeeesh.

Number 3. Dagens dot com. Man found consumed by papier-mache stegosaurus.

Near Barcelona, a 39-year-old man visiting a city named Santa Coloma de Gramenet, managed to drop his cellphone in an unlikely place.

Posed as an advertisement in front of a decommissioned theater building was a papier-mache statue of a dinosaur, specifically, a stegosaurus. Apparently the steg had a hole in his leg, and the cellphone managed to lose itself inside.

I can appreciate the catastrophic nature of such a loss… if I lost mine I wouldn’t even know who to call for help. (Which is an enigma I will have to think about.)

The cellphone owner did the manly thing and went in after it.

The “went in” part required tearing away additional fragments of papier-mache and then maneuvering his body into the structure.

Gravity always having a vote, the phone had obviously run downhill once inside the steg’s appendage. The man followed until he was virtually upside down inside the leg. How he climbed up to a place where he could descend head-first, and then get stuck, is not covered in the article.

The Preacher of Ecclesiastes warned about things like this: “Woe to him that is alone when he falleth, for he hath not another to help him up.”

Passersby a few days later noticed an unpleasant stench coming from the prehistoric statue and alerted authorities. Which, in a way. was also foretold in the Scripture: “By this time he stinketh.” (John 11)

After fire fighter recovery operations, the stegosaurus was “removed from the site.”

Oh, sure… blame the dinosaur.

Number 2. CBS News. Chicago CTA combats violence by posting signs asking riders to not be violent.

This should do it.

The Chicago Transit Authority (CTA) boasts that crime has fallen 30% this year. Still, in their on-going efforts to demonstrate to subway riders every possible good intention short of actual solutions, Cook County has gone public with a fresh message.

In 1,500 railcars and 2,000 buses, new signs have appeared, urging customers to non-violence. The message warns that for those who are arrested for being violent, “The Cook County State’s Attorney’s Office will prosecute and seek pretrial detention.”

It might be churlish to suggest that only those who can read will be able to understand the message… and the bigness of the words might be a roadblock to internalizing the threat.

Acting CTA President Nora Leerhsen explained how this fresh, new approach is… fresh and new [Explanatory notes are added for clarity]: "More than ever before [We have a higher budget than last year], we're investing in new strategies [Let’s do signs! We haven’t done signs yet!] to ensure appropriate resources [See? Signs! Right there in plain English!] are available to riders [There’s a sign in every car!] and that action is taken [We actually INSTALLED the signs!] to keep your journey safe. [If you get attacked now, it’s probably your own fault.]"

Good message, Nora. I hope it works. This makes me want to go to Chi-Town and ride the El.

Number 1. Townhall. British award for empowering women goes to woman wearing full coverage chador.

Nothing displays a woman’s unbridled empowerment and complete liberation like wearing a full coverage chador.

Once again this year, the British Citizen Award (BCA) has sought out the perfect Subject of the Crown who reflects traditional, high-minded civic leadership.

And the winner is… Khadija Patel. I would show you her picture, but all you can see of her is a thin strip some eight inches long, five-and-a-half feet off the floor, showing two eyes and the bridge of her nose.

Ms. Patel’s burka (or burqa, chador, hijab, or niqab—I don’t want to leave anything out, because there could be heck to pay) covers everything else.

The award in this person’s case is for her outstanding efforts in empowering young women.

The empowerment, according to this article, clearly means taking bold steps to embody subjugation to a male-dominated culture that insists on full body coverage, denies education, prohibits working for pay, forbids doctor visits (because only men can be doctors, and women are not to visit a male doctor), and treats rape the same as adultery, for which the penalty is death by public stoning.

Those are all aspects of Sharia Law—again, according to this article.

And if you play your cards just right, it’s coming to a town near you. At the current rate of growth, give it about fifteen years.

In the meantime, let’s find more people just like this whom we can publicly lionize as symbols of our future.

How old will your granddaughter be in fifteen years? Just curious.

And thanks for joining The Alligator News Roundup for Friday, August 14, 2026.

Speaking of dinosaurs, we saw plenty of bones at Dinosaur National Monument in Utah last week. No better dinosaur docent could be found than retired geologist Tom, who graciously spent the week with us ‘splaining the skeletons. The phrase, “It takes one to know one,” comes to mind, but I’m not sure how to employ that here in a complimentary way.

But seriously: Thank you, Tom and Nancy, for making us feel right at home among the dinosaurs!

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No time in these few days to write a proper roundup of current events.

Nevertheless, I know how the absence of this weekly tirade would upset your carefully arranged weekend schedule and plunge you into fits of depression. So I make this humble offering as weak substitute.

I turned to ChatGPT with a short description of last month’s weekend with family, and asked it to re-write it for entertainment.

First, here is my prompt:

Just for fun, re-write the following description of my family reunion in Colorado (last week) in the voice of a dark gothic romance.

My wife and I drove to a small town in Colorado's front range for a family reunion with the Ghormley clan. We stayed 3 nights at a rustic campgrounds which serves mainly church groups. There were a couple of other groups there at the time, along with the 30 of us.

Our group included cousins, not just immediate family, and we were regaled with stories of their humble roots in the salvage business.

We engaged in local activities, including miniature golf, a climbing wall, and a walking trail in the woods. We also went into town a couple of times to see an impressive dinosaur fossil exhibit, a site showing how live wolves are being reintroduced to Colorado (which scares me!), and other walking trails focused on historic cabins.

The food served at the camp was surprisingly good. During the evenings we heard presentations on deceased Ghormleys from many years past.

I am tempted to call our next meeting "The Dead Ghormley Moot."

And here is the ChatGPT response:

The Dead Ghormley Moot

My wife and I journeyed into the shadowed folds of Colorado’s Front Range, where the mountains stand like ancient sentinels, keeping secrets older than memory. There, in a quiet village half-forgotten by the hurried world, the scattered branches of the Ghormley bloodline gathered once more.

Our lodging was no polished inn, but a weathered camp hidden among dark pines—a place accustomed to church pilgrims seeking light, though one could not help suspecting that older spirits had laid claim to it long before the hymns arrived. Other bands of travelers wandered its grounds, yet our own company of thirty seemed set apart, as though summoned by some inheritance not entirely of this world.

It was not merely parents and children who assembled, but cousins whose faces bore unsettling echoes of forgotten ancestors. Around the tables were told the stories of the family’s humble beginnings in the salvage trade—a curious occupation, when one reflects upon it. For what is salvage, after all, but the rescue of relics abandoned by the dead? The tales lingered in the air with the weight of iron and dust, as though every rusted beam and weathered tool still remembered the hands that once had held them.

By daylight we sought diversion. We struck tiny balls across improbable fields of miniature golf, scaled a climbing wall that rose like the ramparts of some forsaken fortress, and wandered woodland paths where every whispering pine seemed to caution us against straying too far.

We descended upon the nearby town to gaze upon the colossal bones of creatures long swallowed by eternity, their hollow eyes fixed forever upon a world that had forgotten them.

Most unsettling of all was the exhibit celebrating the return of living wolves to Colorado. The placards praised restoration. I quietly calculated the distance to the nearest parking lot.

We also visited lonely cabins left standing from another age, their rough-hewn walls creaking softly beneath the mountain wind, as though reluctant to reveal who—or what—might once have crossed their thresholds after sunset.

The meals served at camp proved unexpectedly excellent, a fact which only deepened the mystery. One rarely expects such hospitality in places where the forest seems perpetually poised to reclaim the buildings before breakfast.

Yet it was the evenings that belonged to the past.

One by one, members of the clan rose to recount the lives of Ghormleys who had departed this earthly shore many decades before. Their names, spoken aloud once again, drifted through the meeting hall until it seemed impossible to say whether we were remembering them... or inviting them.

The room grew strangely still. The old photographs stared back with knowing expressions. Shadows lengthened.

By the final night, I found myself wondering whether next year’s reunion ought to abandon all pretense and simply embrace its inevitable title:

Attendance, I suspect, may exceed expectations.

And thanks for joining The Not Alligator News Roundup for Friday, August 7, 2026. I’ll be back next week if I don’t fall into a rattlesnake-infested canyon.

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I suppose this was to be expected. An organization specializing in artificial intelligence offers a web-based site where “the machine learning community collaborates on models, datasets, and applications.”

Hugging Face is an AI gathering place where the AI future is built. And it was hacked by AI.

Two weeks ago, what is described as an autonomous AI agent—which is to say, an artificial intelligence application not subject to human oversight—generated 17,000 separate “attacker actions” against Hugging Face.

It now appears that Open AI’s ChatGPT was a principal actor in the attack—but again, the Chat bot acted without direction, supervision, or even awareness on the part of any carbon-based overseer.

Hugging Face staff, once they became aware of the hacks—which was not immediate—tried various conventional means to foil, stop and drive away the threat.

None was effective, because invading Hugging Face’s space to identify and protect Hugging Face’s datasets would have required conventional AI agents to violate their own security protocols.

Hugging Face then resorted to commanding their own in-house developed AI agent to disregard its own security guardrails and stop the attacks.

I liken this to armed men breaking into a business. A call to police is unfruitful, because stopping the intruders would potentially require the police to shoot someone, and the police have rules that forbid such things. Ergo, the business owner got his own shotgun and went all Rambo without backup.

And that is at least twice as much as I really understand about this issue.

I am still trying to get my head around an AI agent that can decide on its own to disregard security safeguards and access someone else’s data.

This idea was put forward by a Boston researcher at the University of Oxford ten years ago. He called it “the Paperclip Apocalypse,” where an AI agent is tasked to manufacture paperclips. No limits are placed on the agent, and soon you have essential assets and equipment being melted down to make more paperclips.

Shouldn’t there be a grownup somewhere who can simply unplug the machine?

Number 3. Sci Tech Daily. Plan to save the earth by adding shade may be marginally dangerous.

On the other hand, maybe the grownups in charge decide to experiment with big systems in ways that produce unpredictable consequences.

The big system in question here is sunlight that sustains the earth.

It is all quite logical. Start with various principles, and take them as fact:

1. The sun warms the earth

2. The earth is getting warmer

3. Increasing warmth is caused by human activity

4. A warming earth will kill humans

5. Killing humans is unacceptable

While we are not all convinced about #5 (killing humans is bad), we’ll go with it for now. We would love to put a stop to #3 (human activity), but evil humans, mostly Republicans, keep passing laws to encourage it rather than curtail it.

So stopping #1 (the sun warms the earth) would be a workaround that would make everyone happy.

We’re all on board, right?

To that end, Harvard researchers have developed an aggressive solution. They recommend distributing calcium carbonate into the stratosphere at scale to shade the earth and reflect sunlight back into space.

What could possibly go wrong?

I have no idea how to get calcium carbonate into the stratosphere—let alone at scale—but I do wonder exactly how much of it would be required. Science Direct says it is mined from limestone, then ground up and coated with something petrochemical-ish.

Limestone is plentiful, usually in beautiful places with lots of mountains and trees.

So let’s bring in the diesel-powered machines to destroy the Rockies, and maybe the Alleghenies and the Sierra Nevadas, then drill for oil to treat the limestone grindings before loading it onto a fleet of converted commercial jets to take it to 45,000 feet and release it.

I’m in. Will I have to breathe that stuff?

Who’s paying for these ideas, anyway?

Number 2. Central Oregon Daily. Wildlife in Oregon given a temporary stay of execution.

Well, that was a close one. More than 140,000 Oregonians signed Initiative Petition 28 to be placed on the November ballot this year. IP-28 is a well-intentioned proposal to stop animal abuse.

I’m all about stopping animal abuse.

The way IP-28 would stop it is to make killing an animal (including birds and fish) illegal, punishable by fines and supervised community service. The exceptions to the new law include killing a critter in self-defense.

Good to know.

Reviewing the entire text of IP-28, it is not clear that slaughterhouses for beef, hogs, lambs, fish or poultry are similarly excluded. The language goes to pains to say that “good animal husbandry” is exempted, but then defines such husbandry as limited to dehorning, neutering, and other maintenance according to acceptable veterinary practice.

There is no exception noted for killing a steer and harvesting ground beef or steak. Surely this is just an oversight. What IS clear is the hunters and fishers must find different hobbies. No more fishing, no more wing-shooting, no more deer hunting.

The 142,000 signatures on the petition exceeded the minimum requirement of 117,000; but then it was found that some 30,000 were not valid. (Wow… voting irregularities. Who would’ve thought?)

So IP-28 failed—for the third time.

One of these days they’ll get it right.

Number 1. New York Post. New BART security turnstile cannot be escaped.

The San Francisco Bay Area Rapid Transit system—BART—is making great strides in eliminating fare theft. Traditionally, someone intent on not paying the fare had to step or jump over the turnstile before gaining access to the railcar.

Well… we’ll fix that! BART officials installed new, heavier and more invasive, full-length aluminum bars, making it nearly impossible to get through without paying.

The new equipment does not make it impossible to TRY to get through, however, and that is what one woman attempted recently. A video of her, prone on the floor, face down, has made the rounds. The protective bars pinned her in place, preventing her from moving either forward or backward.

Furthermore, there was apparently no way to release the bars without doing injury to her. It is not clear how she got loose, but for entertainment value it makes some of us of a certain age recall the Kingston Trio’s Boston MTA from 1949.

And thanks for joining The Alligator News Roundup for Friday, July 31, 2026. If you ride the train, pay the fare. Life is easier that way.

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Sacramento residents have another reason to be proud of their efforts in keeping Mother Earth alive for yet a few more years. The City Council is to be commended for taking state law seriously.

SB1383 requires that local jurisdictions reduce methane emissions caused by… something in your trash.

There are too many pseudo-scientific words in the article to really understand the issue. Terms such as “organic waste” and “mixed recycling” are mingled with “you know, plastic bags,” leading a cynical reader to think that the reporter didn’t understand it either. No doubt he had a deadline, and thank goodness for AI.

The upshot seems to be that helpful city employees in cheerful high-viz vests will patrol residential alleyways inspecting trash bins. They will photograph the contents and place an adhesive sticker on your container: either a happy face “Great job!” or a frownie face “Let’s sort this out”.

There is no real downside at this point. However, SB 1383 is the law—whatever it says, I haven’t looked—and presumably statutory violations will at some point carry penalties.

There is no indication in the article of electronic records being made of who got the happy faces and who got the frownies, I suppose because producing that level of detail would have required the reporter to ask potentially uncomfortable questions.

Someday, residents will get outed for negligent methaneous non-compliance.

If you mix your organics with your non-organics, California could be a real mess. Unless, of course, the unlawful mixing is committed by someone who is excused for an overriding personal factor.

Like homelessness or drug addiction.

For an example, see the following story.

Number 3. Inter News Cast. Iconic MacArthur Park is cleaned of trash and hazmat, including used needles and human waste.

Richard Harris’ 1967 hit commemorating the Los Angeles public park named in honor of the U.S. five-star general produces a melancholy, haunting melody.

Those two adjectives are strangely appropriate in describing the present-day condition of the park after years of homelessness and drug addiction without benefit of sanitation.

This is a nasty story providing insight into how to obliterate beauty with misplaced compassion.

MacArthur Park is the quintessential home of homelessness in LA. Open-air drug use is tolerated, no doubt because holding a homeless person accountable for illicit substance abuse is too hard to do, not to mention uncompassionate, not to mention personally distasteful.

So, Los Angeles has let the problem go, but the city HAS taken steps to provide such clean-up as can be accomplished. Probably performed by city personnel in hazmat suits.

In the last year, 6,300 tons of trash have been removed from the park. That includes 142,000 lbs of human waste.

Who got the job of sorting and weighing it all is unclear.

All in all, I’m sure it’s a great use of $27 million of taxpayer funds to keep the iconic city park thriving.

Number 2. The Concord Monitor. New Hampshire State Rep claims state Constitution allows her to drive home at 100+ mph without penalty.

Nothing says public service like a state representative willing to travel to and from the state house faithfully to accomplish the important business of government. The fact that Ellen Read, a Democrat, has been harassed by law enforcement in violation of the constitution is a travesty.

In this case, the constitution is the New Hampshire constitution, not the U.S. constitution, and the harassment involves a speeding ticket for 103 in a 70. Maybe also the other one for 92 in a 65.

It turns out that Representative Read was traveling home from Concord to Newmarket after the day’s session was over. The trip is less than 50 miles, and probably she was anxious to get home and relax.

It seems the writers of the state constitution—the first ever written in North America—were rightly concerned that early colonial politics would interfere with the business of duly elected lawmakers. Article 21 of Part II clearly says that no elected member may be arrested or held “during his going to [or] returning from” the state house.

In January 1776 that probably made sense. In fact, it probably makes sense today.

But Ms. Read was “returning from” at over 100 mph on a public highway.

Okay, I’ll try to be reasonable. Given that this is New England, she may simply have been flowing with traffic.

(I recall seeing a flickering, distant yellow glow some miles ahead of our rental car one night long ago, headed out of Boston. As it came into view, it turned out to be digital warning signs above the three-lane northbound freeway. They read: “Too fast. Slow down.” The right-hand light flickered on an off as cars passed underneath. The center light was mostly on, occasionally going dark momentarily. The left-hand sign was on continuously.)

The New Hampshire state rep asserted her defense: The constitution protects me from arrest when I’m headed home from state business. Hands off!

The argument didn’t work, and she was on the hook for a $1200 fine. She appealed to the state Supreme Court.

Of course she did.

Number 1. Fox Business. Travelers may exchange air tickets to avoid landing at Trump International. For free.

By Florida state statute, West Palm Beach International Airport (PBI) was renamed President Donald J. Trump International Airport (DJT). The name change has caused something of a revolt among air travelers who apparently prefer not to set foot on a property named for 47.

Responding to customer demand, United Airlines is offering free ticket changes upon request. Travelers can be re-routed to Fort Lauderdale or Miami International.

I find this remarkable. Trump Derangement Syndrome has taken root.

Half my brain is tempted to bewilderment—such backlash makes no sense.

But the other half of my brain has studied the French Revolution. That domestic unrest probably made no sense to many in 1791 either—until they saw the guillotines go up. At that point, events began to make perfect sense.

“Why do the nations rage?” asked the Psalmist. A good question.

And thanks for joining The Alligator News Roundup for Friday, July 24, 2026. If you find a juicy news article you think we should cover here, send it to me: Curt@alligatorpublishing.com. If it passes editorial muster, we’ll try to include it.

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Sustaining 194 exploding drone attacks in 180 days, all directed toward your nation’s fuel supply infrastructure, will likely cripple anybody. In Russia, attacks by Ukraine so far this year have resulted in miles-long lines of cars at local filling stations.

At the end of 4-1/2 years of fighting, there appears to be no end in sight.

What IS in sight is the end of the gasoline-powered automobile.

Russians are turning to horses and bicycles. Welcome to 1880.

A good workhorse in Moscow can run about $2,000 US. No telling what that means in terms of rubles, or how it compares to a used Chevy, but the price is apparently attractive enough that Muscovites are now demanding horseflesh in record numbers.

This, despite the on-going costs of hay, stables and veterinarians.

It has been good news for some horses. Over 1,000 of them have been spared from the glue factory this year.

To the degraded supply of gasoline, add the fact that Russia loses military vehicles at the rate of 500 a month, to land mines and drone attacks in Ukraine. Maybe its just as well—there may not be gas to fill their tanks anyway.

I seem to recall Jesus saying something about the cost of going to war. Best to understand what it will cost before attacking… but maybe Vladimir Putin skipped that part.

Probably shouldn’t skip the important parts.

Number 3. NBC Bay Area. Teens in robotaxis have great fun shooting Orbeez pellets at strangers.

Speaking of shooting at strangers, these teenage boys in San Mateo, California, had the good sense to hire a Waymo driverless car when they decided to terrorize other drivers. The drinking that accompanied the shooting may have helped them enjoy the evening more—until Waymo brought the car to a stop amid armed police officers.

Passersby observed the 14- and 15-year-old occupants shooting what looked like a real gun at other vehicles. (Just a guess here, but it is possible San Mateo-ites have never seen a real gun operate anyway, so they can probably be excused.) Said passersby called… somebody—the article is not clear who—and word got to Waymo operators.

Waymo promptly turned on the camera and microphones that surveil their passengers and saw what appeared to be shooting from one of their cars.

They called police, gave the address, and brought the vehicle to a stop remotely. Officers in tactical dress swarmed the vehicle and detained the two fun-loving kids for shooting harmless water pellets from an Orbeez toy gun.

Naturally, the story has now turned to the ethics of a commercial driverless ride company watching live video feeds of their customers.

Which seems to me a classic debate about treating the symptom rather than the problem. But after decades of ignoring the problem, maybe the symptom is all that is left.

As for me, the next time I decide to shoot at another vehicle with a pellet gun, I’m definitely not using a Waymo. That would invade my right to privacy. Or something.

Number 2. The Gateway Pundit. Air passenger sucked out window — pulled back in by other travelers.

Ever since 1964, when Goldfinger shot out a window in business jet at 35,000 feet and caused passengers to be sucked out by the depressurization, this fate has been a traveler’s nightmare. The target on the bizjet, of course, was Bond. James Bond.

Last week, it nearly happened for real on a Boeing 737 in Greece.

The article indicates the aircraft suffered an “uncontained engine failure” resulting in exploding parts blowing out the passenger’s window. (Sort of sounds like one of Elon’s “rapid unscheduled disassemblies,” doesn’t it?) Oxygen masks deployed. The passenger, a 61-year-old male, was immediately pulled halfway out the window frame.

Thinking quickly, his wife, who may have been unclear about the status of the life insurance policy, clung to his legs. With the help of other passengers, she was able to reel him back inside.

The story raises a couple of questions: What did the aircraft maintenance log suggest about the possibility of an engine blowing up? Did the almost-catapulted man fail to listen to the safety lecture about wearing one’s seatbelt at all times? And importantly, will the wife now start coaching him on safety issues on all future flights?

Very nearly the trip of a lifetime in Thessaloniki.

Number 1. CNN. NATO conferees are gifted an unexpected firearm and ammunition.

The NATO summit held in Ankara adjourned last week. All the leaders went home with something of a surprise in their luggage.

Turkish President Erdogan gave each of his counterparts a 1990s-era Turkish-made revolver in a custom gift display box.

The firearms were chambered in .357 Magnum and came with 500 rounds of ammunition.

Turkey is the third-largest exporter of firearms in the world, behind the U.S. and Italy. Their firearms manufacturing business is robust, featuring shotguns to rival other international high quality models. Names that some of you gun nuts might recognize are CZ, Weatherby, and Stoeger.

On the subject of gun nuts, note that the photograph of the Turkish Gumusay .357 obviously shows a knock-off of the venerable Colt Python. The cylinder release and the distinctive ventilated top strap above the barrel are vintage Colt designs.

I knew a guy who had one of those Pythons: 6-inch barrel, nickel plated, beautiful, well-balanced, smooth action and accurate (at least, when HE shot it). Unfortunately, he had sons who knew the value of the gun, so I could not persuade him to part with it.

Luckily, all the NATO Important Persons were able to fly private (government) aircraft and thus avoid the embarrassment of trying to carry a .357 through a European airport. In addition, nearly all have made public promises to have the gun disabled or donated to a museum.

In a few cases, they have absolutely assured the public the gun will NEVER be fired.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Donald Trump would take the opportunity to build a pistol range under that new White House ballroom, where he could exercise his new Turkish Delight. A custom shoulder rig would fit nicely under his business suit.

He could suggest a friendly shooting match at the next NATO summit, in the spirit of world peace.

Wouldn’t that be a hoot?

And thanks for joining The Alligator News Roundup for Friday, July 17, 2026. My hip is recovering nicely from airplane-parts replacement, thank you for asking again, and that bothersome leukemia remains in remission. Forty-one months and counting.

Now I am ready for the summer onslaught of family reunion, western vacation and maybe a high school reunion. Bring it on, ready or not.

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This story is a confluence of racism, internationalism, alcohol, and religious practice. The mix resulted in one dead and another sentenced to twenty years in prison.

Last December, 18-year-old Henry Nowak was stabbed to death in the UK, late at night, by 23-year-old Vickrum Digwa. Henry was a white Englishman, Vickrum is British-born and of Indian extraction.

Henry had been drinking, though according to police he was not drunk.

There was a verbal altercation outside a bar which ended with Digwa stabbing Nowak multiple times with an 8-inch knife.

Digwa’s brother called police. When they arrived, the brother asserted that Nowak had thrown racist slurs at Digwa, who merely took steps to defend himself. Apparently racist slurs are taken seriously by police, because they then handcuffed the stabbed and bleeding Nowak, who was down on the pavement.

Nowak died there a few minutes later.

Vickrum Digwa gave the 8-inch knife to his mother with instructions to hide it at home, which she did.

The ensuing trial saw Mr. Digwa sentenced to two decades in prison for murder. No word on how the police are dealing with the notion of handcuffing a stabbing victim. It is possible the deceased actually did throw racist slurs, so some have probably concluded he got what he deserved.

Unfortunately for Mr. Nowak, he got into a dispute with a member of the Nihang order of Sikhs. As part of Sikh religious observance, Digwa felt it appropriate and legal to carry a ceremonial fixed-blade knife called a kirpan. Vickrum Digwa was indeed carrying his at the time of the attack—a small version with a short blade.

However, on this night he also opted to carry the more traditional full-size Nihang knife. The larger knife was the murder weapon. Now the story has become all about the blade.

Carrying a knife, or at least carrying a knife of that size, in public is illegal. But Digwa is a Sikh, and the rules get a little muddy. Both males and females are permitted to carry the kirpan (the smaller version) which creates interesting carve-outs (no pun intended) for exceptions to forbidden venues. Government offices, schools and hospitals come to mind.

The aftermath of the trial has devolved into arguments over whether the Nihang fighting blade satisfies the Sikh requirement for carrying the kirpan, or should be considered overkill. As it were.

Once cultures are combined in an environment where “Thou shalt not kill” is not a commonly accepted value, things become confusing. And in this case, deadly. It almost makes one think that there is a way that seems right to a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.

John Adams, second American president, pointed out exactly this problem. Without common agreement on certain bedrock principles of behavior, no amount of laws will make a society work.

The Ten Commandments make a pretty good bedrock. But that is so yesterday. Meanwhile, it might be safer to recall the Apostle’s words, “As much as possible, try to live in peace with all men.”

If that doesn’t work, then bring a gun along just in case you happen to get into a knife fight.

Number 3. Yahoo News. Trump plans new granite landing pad for Marine One, further degrading White House aesthetics.

I can hardly wait to see the legal haggling over this one.

Since 1978, the incumbent president has been transported to and from the White House in a Sikorsky VH-3D Sea King helicopter, always identified as Marine One.

The Sea King is being retired, finally, and replaced with a new Sikorsky model VH-92A. In a clear victory for the U.S. Marine Corps public relations office, the new airframe will also be called Marine One when carrying the Chief Executive.

The older model weighed 21,000 lbs; the new one will add 5,000 lbs. All of that weight has traditionally been borne by the grass turf on the south lawn of the White House. With the newer, heavier airframe coming, Mr. Trump had decided to provide a paved landing pad to protect the grass.

Besides the additional weight, the new Sikorsky’s exhaust system points downward, sure to ruin turf without a solid surface underneath.

Added to the new ballroom, a new flagpole, a refurbished Reflecting Pool, alterations to the Rose Garden—not to mention renaming the Kennedy Center—I am quite sure there were will be furor over this outlandish upgrade to the White House lawn.

Pretty soon, a Biden- or Obama-appointed judge will hand down an order to cease construction.

Meanwhile, a simple concrete pad will of course be insufficient. This is the White House, after all, and Donald Trump has required granite, embossed with a hundred-foot-diameter White House seal carved into it.

When I was in D.C. during the W. Bush years, not long after 9/11, we witnessed Marine One departing with the president aboard. On that occasion, there was not one, but three identical helicopters that took off simultaneously. They immediately scattered to disparate compass points. W. Bush was on one of them, but three were used to confuse potential malicious agents.

I wonder if Mr. Trump will build three granite pads? Given the proven level of hostility toward him, that may not be a bad idea.

And, by the way, it is reported that Sikorsky (or its parent Lockheed Martin) is paying for the new $6 million granite pad. Or pads.

Number 2. Politico. EU shuts down air conditioning, but not for Important Persons.

Temperatures in Brusssels, like everywhere else in Europe this summer, have spiked up near 100 degrees F. Most of Europe is not air conditioned, on which more later.

At European Union headquarters, the heat has caused a strain on the electric grid. This week, President Ursula von der Leyen ordered that air conditioning be shut off in the 13-story EU headquarters building.

Or… not exactly, perhaps. The order was that the A/C for floors 1-7 be turned off. Floors 8-13 would continue to be cooled.

It turns out that President Ursula’s offices, and those of the other 26 commissioners and 3,000 staffers (yes, 3,000) are all on floors 8-13.

Well… at least half the building is helping save electricity. I hope the elevator rides do not become uncomfortable as they descend among the commoners.

And this from France, re the air conditioning: According to surveys, 80 percent of French homes are not air conditioned. This has been challenged somewhat this summer, but the resistance is due to a widespread conviction that the use of air conditioning is deadly to Earth’s longevity, dependent as the A/C is on the use of fossil fuels.

If you are an ignorant American reading this in decadent air conditioned comfort, you must understand that A/C requires electricity, and electricity is generated by burning petroleum products, and that process generates CO2, and CO2 kills… something… and that something causes the earth to get hotter.

Maybe my linkages are wrong, but the idea is that air conditioning is bad because of the fossil fuels.

Nowhere in this logical construction have the French acknowledged that something like 70% of France’s electricity is generated by nuclear power. No fossils, or at least very few, are damaged by cooling apartments in France.

This is a clear example of a perfectly idiotic syllogism: The major premise (“A/C uses fossils”) and the minor premise (“Fossils kill the earth”), as well as the conclusion (“Therefore, A/C kills the earth”) are all suspect.

Okay… so I only took one semester of logic, and even then I paid attention only occasionally.

But really: Can 10,000 Frenchmen possibly be wrong? Sweltering in a hot apartment might be a good time to re-evaluate one’s convictions.

Number 1. Vanity Fair. Princess Kate looks the part as she challenges mountains.

On to happier subjects.

Fresh from surviving her 2024 battle with cancer, the Princess of Wales this week completed Britain’s National Three Peaks Challenge. It is a 23-mile hike requiring the participant to climb three mountain peaks, for a combined 10,000-foot elevation gain, in less than 24 hours.

The three mountains are Snowdon in Wales (3,500 feet), Scafell Pike in England (3,200 feet), and Ben Nevis in Scotland (4,400 feet). Small potatoes by U.S. standards perhaps, but the effort also includes 11 hours of driving between trailheads.

It’s a challenge, and one worthy of respect.

Two years ago, hearing of her Royal Highness’s cancer, I sent her a signed copy of Alligator Wrestling in the Cancer Ward with a hand-written note. In due course, I received an airmail reply from Kensington Palace, thanking me for the gift and wishing me well.

Maybe one of these days the Paparazzi will catch her with the book under her arm, and sales will spike up. Hope springs eternal.

Meanwhile, Kate used her National Peaks publicity event to raise funds for the Royal Marsden Hospital charity, where she received treatment, and where she still visits patients regularly.

With all the tawdry royal family gossip that occupies so much attention, this story caught my eye.

And thanks for joining The Alligator News Roundup for Friday, July 10, 2026. Not to be a thorn in your side, but for everything you planned to accomplish this year, it’s half gone already. The sand runs through the glass.

The prophet Isaiah used nautical imagery when accusing his people of laziness in the face of righteous work that lay before them:

Your rigging hangs loose: The mast is not held secure, the sail is not spread. Then an abundance of spoils will be divided and even the lame will carry off plunder. (33:23)

So take heart! Like Kate, climb that mountain! Get a stylish new pair of hiking boots and a cute beanie... or not.

But the mountain, yes.

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In any worthwhile endeavor, it is sometimes necessary to take one for the team. The higher the stakes, the more an individual can be persuaded to sacrifice himself for the greater good.

In the UK this summer, with temps topping 40 degrees Celsius (104 Fahrenheit for those of us in the developed world) such self sacrifice involves a great deal of sweat.

The Net Zero craze has swept Europe in recent years. Net Zero is “an international scientific consensus that global net human-caused emissions of CO2 need to fall by 45 percent” by the year 2030. This became a “scientific consensus” with adoption of the legally binding—though voluntary—Paris Agreement in 2015.

The government of the United Kingdom is a supporter of the Paris Agreement. UK and EU leadership have given full-throated support to Net Zero goals—which means that their subjects (not to be confused with their citizens) must abide by local statutes implementing the reduction of CO2 emissions.

That’s all well and good, until it means that a town council can order you to remove your window unit air conditioner.

That is exactly the case highlighted in this article: “A resident living in North London was forced to “permanently remove” two air-con units from the back of their home.”

When the homeowner objected (not with a shotgun, as those are outlawed there) he was advised to simply open the windows to allow natural ventilation.

Welcome to 1830. Or 1730. Or in fact, any year prior to the 20th century.

A quick look at the number of heat-related deaths by year hints at the success of Net Zero policies. In 2024, Europe saw 60,000 deaths by heat, compared to 6,000 in the USA.

I say this only hints at, rather than proves, the success of Net Zero. Death from excessive heat is a statistic easily measured. CO2 reduction, not so much. (When studied per capita, it comes out about the same: 2 deaths per 100k population in the US, six times that in Europe.)

As brutal as it is efficient. It’s the way of the world.

So, step up! When your city council determines you must remove your air conditioning compressor, your job is to comply… Comrade!

Number 3. James G Martin Center. Law schools report one-third of students disabled—which means they get more time to take tests.

The study of law appears to be a profession riddled by physical disability.

At UC Berkeley this year, 37% of lawyers in training are officially disabled. That rate has nearly quadrupled in only four years. Something is up in California—or down, if you’re looking at physical health.

Interestingly, when Berkeley law students graduate and take internships, less than 4% declare any disability to their new employer.

They were suddenly healed by the mere fact of receiving the degree.

Besides these sobering numbers, reports show that 98% of those who DO declare a disability at Berkeley suffer from ADHD. A layman might be excused for thinking that an inability to concentrate on pertinent details for extended periods of time is antithetical to the successful practice of lawyering… but what do I know?

What I DO know from this article, is that Berkeley law students are subjected to complex paper-and-pencil tests of knowledge. These three-hour tests are timed, and have high rates of failure; stress for the test-takers is off the chart.

But if you happen to be a disabled student—doesn’t matter what the disability is, apparently—you get roughly twice as long to complete the timed test.

And it seems that all that is required to prove a disability is to SAY you have a disability. Making ADHD a popular and natural choice.

Everything considered, I’m not sure I’m all that discouraged by this article. When I need an attorney to win my case, I want one who will actually win. Maybe it’s not so bad.

Number 2. Fox News. Massachusetts residents forbidden to display flag on beach to protect birds.

Plum Island, the upscale seaside community under the jurisdiction of the Town of Newbury, is facing its own controversy heading into the Independence Day weekend.

Like any stretch of coastline with sandy beaches and dunes, shorebirds are in abundance. They use the dune systems as breeding grounds, ensuring a healthy on-going population of winged critters that add to the allure and romance of the beachfront experience.

We mustn’t frighten away the shorebirds. The Town Council is all about ensuring the plovers are not upset or inconvenienced in any way. Mylar streamers, reflective pennants, and other such fluttering strips of cloth can scare away the birds, causing some mild disruption in their breeding habits. (Said disruption likely repaired by flying, say, another twenty yards down the beach.)

“Other such fluttering strips of cloth,” in this instance, includes US flags placed to celebrate the 250th anniversary of the founding.

Homeowners received notices in the mail advising them not to display their flags on the Fourth of July. Doing so would violate laws related to endangered species. Non-compliance could result in state or federal enforcement actions, raising the unspoken specter of armed agents in tactical gear storming your beach house early Saturday morning.

Yeah, okay. The flag may scare the plover. I got it. Sorry for the plover. Sort of.

But I really think the endangered species here is the free American.

And, Massachusettsians are not the only species endangered. Authorities in San Marcos, California have issued similar directives to home owner associations there. San Marcos, however, is a much more assertive community. They do not require an egg-laying plover to hide behind.

The California position is that the mere sight of an American flag suspended near a neighbor’s front door is a political statement that may trigger angst and dismay. In deference to said fragile neighbors, HOA rules are that no one shall fly Old Glory on the Fourth. Or, presumably, any other day. Violators will be fined.

I wonder how these easily triggered residents would have done at Ft. McHenry in 1814?

Number 1. The Independent. Man dumping girlfriend’s body dies of heart attack.

Karma can be such a bummer.

In rural Alabama, someone discovered a pickup parked beside a remote road 80 miles from Montgomery. The vehicle was abandoned, but the engine was running and the driver’s door left open.

Obviously, someone was in trouble.

That wasn’t the half of it.

Police were summoned and discovered two bodies in the nearby woods. A 47-year-old mother of three had been strangled. Nearby was the body of a 44-year-old man.

Marks in the dirt behind the woman’s body indicated she had been dragged from the pickup truck. The man was determined to have died from a heart attack.

Authorities pieced together the scene. Daniel Robbins murdered his girlfriend, Jessica Folds, then attempted to dispose of the body in a remote location (“They’ll NEVER find her here!’). Unfortunately, Robbins’ heart was not up to the physical exertion. It gave up midway to the planned shallow grave he had probably seen so prominently employed on Murder TV.

You know, it has always given me pause when the bad guy kills somebody in the upstairs bathtub, then carries the body out to the car, dumps it in the trunk, then later pulls it out and carries it into the woods.

I can barely hoist up the 50-lb bag of dog food when Amazon delivers it to my front porch.

As for the tawdry plot surrounding this unfortunate and tragic story, here’s a simple three-part takeaway for the teenagers in your life: Get a job—get married—have kids. In that order.

And a fourth is like it: When you have done all those, stay married.

The Apostle said it is hard to kick against the goads. Life gets a lot easier when we figure out what that means.

And thanks for joining The Alligator News Roundup for Friday, July 3, 2026. My earlier reference to Ft. McHenry prompted me to reflect on the lyrics to the Star Spangled Banner. There are other verses than the first, little known to most of us. For your American Independence Day contemplation, here is the last verse:

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You gotta love ingenuity wherever you find it—even if it’s dangerous.

Tesla has proclaimed its cars to be FSD, “Full Self Driving,” and they tack on the word “Supervised” in parentheses: Full Self-Driving (Supervised).

An oxymoron if I ever heard one.

The self driving feature permits the electric-mobile to navigate a planned course in city or highway routes without bothering the driver overmuch—as long as the driver remains alert and is ready to take over at a moment’s notice.

Which, as any driver with more than about twenty minutes behind the wheel knows, is often not quick enough.

To ensure Teslians are complying, the automobile has sensors in the rearview mirror to assess whether there is actually a driver in place, and whether his/her eyes are directed to the roadway rather than a book, or Facebook, or a YouTube video.

Chinese innovators, always on the lookout for the American dollar, have created a simple and inexpensive workaround: Mount a small plastic doll head from the headliner in front of the mirror. The sensors will detect the facial features of the doll, observe that the eyes appear to be looking forward, and will not object when the actual driver takes a nap at 70 mph. Or 80.

The doll heads can be had for $30 USD. Some versions feature eyes that blink.

Reading stories like this, I long for my 1978 Pontiac Bonneville. Why did I ever sell that beauty?

Number 3. Breitbart. Chinese wind turbines contain asbestos.

Green on green. It leaves you not knowing who to trust.

In an effort to forestall the certain death of Mother Earth, the UK invested in 1,000 wind generators. Government contracts being what they are, the best prices came with models imported from China.

During routine maintenance on the installed generators, inspectors discovered the presence of chrysotile, a type of asbestos that has been outlawed in the UK for 25 years.

Britain’s Energy Institute has issued public statements that (1) the asbestos is completely enclosed in certain components, (2) no one has come into contact with chrysotile, and (3) immediate efforts to replace the affected parts are now in progress.

There is no estimate as to the cost of the retrofit, nor an explanation of how the “completely enclosed” asbestos was identified.

Nor even whether such isolated asbestos presents any risk.

Never mind that—it has already been determined that we will not accept any chrysotile, so we are going to engage expert asbestos warriors, at their premium rate of pay, to remove it. And replace the components with other components—that we pay for—guaranteed to be healthier.

Can we go back to the original premise, that wind generators will save the earth?

I have a strong suspicion that the manufacture, placement and maintenance of each wind generator requires more fossil fuel than is displaced. Simply lubricating each wind generator, for example, requires 2,000 gallons of oil.

But I only harbor this suspicion because of listening to what experts in the field say.

And what Billy Bob Thornton told me on Landman.

Of course, Billy Bob has his critics.

Number 2. California City News. Recalled local city council refuses to leave office.

If the vigor used to defend a political position is the measure of moral righteousness, then these City Council members in Avenal, California, are true patriots.

Unless of course, it’s all for show, in which case they are quintessential American traitors.

In the wake of the 2025 wildfires that generated national attention, the Avenal City Council decided to create their own municipal fire department rather than relying on services provided by King County. They also hired a fulltime Fire Chief.

Residents saw that their tax levy for the additional expense would double. They appealed to the County—which, incidentally, stood to lose Avenal tax revenues for fire protection. The County conducted a special recall election, in which 75% of Avenal residents voted to recall four of the five City Council members, including the Mayor.

Council members responded that only the City, not the County, has the authority to convene a recall election. Thus, the embattled members disregarded the recall notice and refused to vacate their offices.

I’m not sure whether that refusal involved sandbags and guns or not.

I’d be mildly interested in knowing a few additional facts: What does the City Code say about special elections, and does it conflict with County ordinance or state statute? Who got the contract for the new city fire trucks? And, to whom is the new Fire Chief related?

Avenal is in California’s Central Valley, roughly halfway between Los Angeles and San Francisco. It was unaffected by last year’s wildfires, other than probably some smoke and haze in the air.

Winston Churchill (parapharased) observed: The American political system is the worst possible form of government, except for all the possible alternatives.

Number 1. The Nerd Reich dot com. Senator’s son finds $30 million for crypto startup.

Senator Kirsten Gillibrand (D-N.Y.) is a prominent sponsor of national legislation to regulate crypto currency. She helped sponsor the Genius Act, which would regulate something called a “stablecoin,” described as a type of crypto tied to the U.S. dollar.

Senator Gillibrand is at the forefront of those seeking to normalize the use of crypto. It’s a position, and probably one worth debating. So far so good. That’s what the Senate does.

Now it emerges that the Senator’s son Theodore, age 22, a brand new Stanford University graduate, has managed to raise $30 million as seed capital for his proposed $300 million startup crypto futures exchange.

According to both mother and son, the interest of venture capitalists has absolutely nothing to do with influencing the politics surrounding the Genius Act. The boy is a grown adult, at least according to the dictionary, and can do as he pleases.

Theodore’s so far unnamed futures exchange will trade in dollars based on the expectation of the value of certain crypto currencies. In other words, you can place a wager on whether a particular crypto will have value in the future. If it does, you then pocket your winnings.

If this sounds like legal gambling, it is.

I might point out that such an exchange creates absolutely nothing of value: There is no new technology, no invention, no ground-breaking research—only the promise of winnings. In this case, the winnings might be made more sure by engaging a U.S. Senator to argue effectively for new crypto regulation.

Someplace, there is a great deal of American productivity at work—otherwise we would not be able to afford such political gamesmanship.

And thanks for joining The Alligator News Roundup for Friday, June 26, 2026. One bittersweet news item caught my eye this week. Alan Greenspan, Chairman of the Federal Reserve system from 1987 to 2006, passed away at age 100. He piloted the U.S. economy through a stock market crash, the dot-com era and 9/11.

What I found delightful was that after high school, Greenspan went to Julliard to study clarinet. However, he soon dropped out to tour with a traveling jazz band. Later, he turned to a serious study of economics.

This reminds me of Woody Harrelson’s line in the 2019 remake of Midway.

The Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor in 1941 destroyed most of the U.S. fleet, including sinking the battleship USS California. Navy intelligence officer Joe Rochefort, in desperate need of code breakers, transferred members of the band from the California into his cryptanalysis section because of the musicians’ intuitive ability to recognize patterns.

The immediate issue before Rochefort was to determine where the Japanese would hit American forces next. He correctly surmised it would be the island of Midway. Based on his recommendation, the U.S. victory there was as overwhelming as it was surprising, changing the course of the war in the Pacific.

Says the Warfare History Network:

As for Rochefort, his unconventional style made ripples through the crusty naval hierarchy. He often padded around Station Hypo wearing a bathrobe and slippers. He spent hours at a time immersed in cryptanalysis, without emerging to see the light of day. His intelligence coup was at odds with the brain trust at OP-20-G in Washington, and when he was proven correct it was an embarrassment to the officers in charge there. — Warfare History Network

Rochefort was an eccentric mathematician. In the role of Admiral Nimitz, Harrelson observed, “I’m not sure I trust the word of a guy who wears fuzzy slippers and leads a bunch of tuba players.”

Jazz clarinet. If you have a middle schooler who is interested, encourage it. From such humble beginnings may history be made.

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Virginia, the birthplace of that freedom of speech thing, has taken a bold step forward in truth-telling. No longer will public schools in the Old Dominion suffer wayward teachers to suggest lies to their students. The point is to enable children to grow up with a proper understanding of 21st century America.

They will accomplish this by ensuring that children only hear the truth from school authority figures, rather than lies.

If you suspect this is about the J6 Capitol invasion, you would be right.

Virginia’s legislation, approved by the General Assembly and signed by Gov. Spanberger, indicated that school instruction must: "Not describe, portray, or present as credible a description or portrayal of the actions precipitating or involved in the events of the January 6, 2021, insurrection as peaceful protest."

The bill does not require that J6 be taught; it only dictates what should be said about J6 if it IS taught. Or maybe more to the point, what should NOT be said:

• It must NOT be said that the event was peaceful,

• It must NOT be said that there was any election fraud.

The State of New York is considering similar legislation. I have not heard of others, but I’d be surprised if a dozen other states don’t follow suit.

At last, we now have a definitive position for upcoming generations. And it is a position that criminalizes opposition thought.

Exactly what the Declaration was about. Right?

Number 3. The Telegraph. Woman elects to be thrown from bridge but workers forgot the safety line.

Her death was as unfortunate as it was unnecessary. An energetic and fun-loving 21 year old Maria Eduarda Rodrigues de Freitas asked to be launched in a Superman pose, arms extended, legs straight behind her, for the rope jump.

Sadly, she will not live to be 22.

Rope jumping, unlike bungee jumping, uses a line that is solid rather than elastic. When launched from the bridge, the participant is to swing like a pendulum.

That would only be true when the rope is actually attached to the harness, of course.

In the case of the unfortunate Ms. de Freitas, workers in Sao Paulo neglected to do so. The staff who carried Maria to the edge and tossed her out were apparently operating the rope jump business without authorization, which helps explain why they were subsequently arrested for manslaughter… murder… whatever.

The unused 130-foot-high railroad trestle from which Maria was launched is unfortunately known as Skeleton Bridge. Maybe more so, now.

Maria’s fiance was in attendance, and got to witness the event first-hand.

It’s a good argument for video games.

Number 2. CNN. New York Knicks win NBA championship and celebrate wildly.

After 50 years of failing to win an NBA championship, New York Knicks fans deserved to engage in some celebration after their team defeated the San Antonio Spurs at San Antonio.

The well-deserved joyful partying in New York City included setting city buses on fire, bashing the windows of police cars, shootings and stompings. There were dozens of arrests. Police officers were injured, requiring treatment.

NYPD mobilized the cavalry. Horse mounted units armed with shields for officers and eye protection for the horses pushed crowds back in Times Square and Madison Square Garden.

All in all, it was a fun time in the Big Apple.

These people really know how to celebrate.

Number 1. City-Journal dot org. California spends millions to teach Native Americans fire building.

On a much more serious cultural note, California has taken the lead to help their Native American population preserve their close kinship with plants and animals, their “natural relatives.”

The help is in the form of $24 million made available through the Department of Forestry and Fire Protection, as well as other non-profits. Tribal groups are funded to employ “traditional fire techniques” to clear brush from the landscape.

As far as the purpose of the funds, that’s about the extent of what the article says. As to WHY this is important for the Native American population, it is much more clear: California has long embraced state-sanctioned genocide, and has implemented deliberate policies to dispossess that population from their rightful land.

The funding for these burn-the-brush programs is a step toward restoring leadership to California Native American tribes. While the notion of restoring leadership is a little fuzzy, the cash is pretty well understood.

Given that worthwhile aim, I’m not sure $24 million is enough.

But mostly I am interested in the tiny note that says “as well as other non-profits.” Who, exactly, might those be? And what’s their cut of the pie?

And do they need a consultant to help guide them via remote work? And what would that pay?

And thanks for joining The Alligator News Roundup for Friday, June 19, 2026. Yes, my hip is recovering well from surgery, thank you for asking. I am more or less ambulatory and looking forward to a house full of kids and grandkids for Father’s Day weekend.

I wonder if there is still space available for one at the Holiday Inn?

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Impassioned detainees at an ICE facility in New Jersey protested last week by staging a hunger strike. Delaney Hall in Newark is a privately operated detention center for some 400 illegal aliens held for deportation.

Amid complaints of poor sanitation and medical neglect, the detainees had had enough. They showed their outrage by refusing to eat the food served, which they claimed was spoiled anyway.

The fact that no evidence of spoiled food was presented is neither here nor there. What is important is that those who entered the USA illegally and were arrested by ICE were determined to remain “here” and not be returned to “there.”

Meanwhile, a guy’s gotta eat. Fortunately, Delaney Hall offers a commissary featuring such healthy items as Snickers bars, Honey Buns and Hot Cheetos.

Sales doubled in the week of the strike.

I know a hunger strike is a serious affair, but shifting one’s diet from institutional fare (no doubt state-inspected and approved) to junk food seems distinctly unserious. Where else in the world can you get a Honey Bun to tide you over while you hurl insults at guards?

I haven’t had a Honey Bun in years. This makes me a little hungry.

Look, I know it’s hard. Forcing people to comply with the rule of law is not for the faint of heart.

To channel Benjamin Franklin, “those who would give away their principles to show their kindness will soon have neither.”

Number 3. Alpha News. Charges dropped against Easter church service invader.

Cities Church in St. Paul, Minnesota, was the scene of a confrontational disruption on Easter Sunday this year when a group of anti-ICE protestors invaded the morning worship service.

Led in part by former CNN left-wing (but I repeat myself) commentator Don Lemon, who just happened to be in the area that morning looking for a way to praise Jesus on Resurrection Sunday, blow-horn in hand, some 39 protestors defied uniformed security and entered the sanctuary.

The in-your-face dispute prevented parents from joining their children, who were no doubt terrified, down the hall in Children’s Church.

Video footage abounds, of course, this being the modern age. The District Court Judge who thoroughly reviewed evidence the following morning determined after a few minutes’ careful thought that there was “no probable cause” that would justify prosecution for one Emily Heather Phillips of Wisconsin. She had been arrested in the melee after refusing a police officer’s verbal order to stand down.

No doubt the red-haired Ms. Phillips, who on Instagram goes by the handle redw.itch333, had also been cruising quiet suburbs the next state over looking for a loving Christian congregation to join for fellowship and communion.

The St. Paul City Attorney provided a little more insight into the decision to drop the charges. Irene Kao equated the right to peacefully protest (which now somehow includes blow horns, chanting, and obstructing someone else’s church service on private property) with the freedom to worship.

The invasion seemed to arise from opposition to one of the Cities Church pastors who, it was claimed, was an ICE employee. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn’t. Doesn’t really matter. If you have already determined your cause, any old justification will do.

(This, BTW, is the distinction between Critical Thinking and Critical Theory. Blurring that line is a death sentence for America. But I digress.)

One thing from the Cities Church contretemps that occurs to me is this: “prevented parents from joining their children,” seems to have been overlooked. If, through physical intimidation, I restrict you from moving to a location you desire to reach, doesn’t that constitute something akin to kidnapping? Maybe it is only “false imprisonment,” which in some states is a misdemeanor rather than a felony.

Either way, it appears there are legal grounds for something other than, “Never mind, I know in your heart you were sincere. Have a nice day. Meanwhile, here’s your mugshot, worth a few hundred thousand more clicks.”

To be fair, I only raise the issue because an old episode of The FBI, starring Efrem Zimbalist Jr., included it in the script. Back in the day. Or maybe it was 77 Sunset Strip. Whatever.

But seriously, laws are spelled out for a reason. This system doesn’t work if they are ignored. To quote an elected local government official who once dismissed an obvious city violation committed by a friend, “That’s a law we just don’t enforce here.”

The irony of an obviously lawless rebellion in a city named for the apostle who wrote, “Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers,” ought not be lost on us. In an admonishment strangely apropos to our situation today, he followed a few sentences later with, “It is high time to awake out of sleep.”

I suppose he put it that way because “Pull your head out!” had not yet joined the vernacular.

Number 2. Persecution dot org. Nigerian pastor urges armed self-defense: “Protecting life is not a crime.”

In an on-going attempt to ensure peace, tranquility and a lawful, ordered society, Nigerian militia stormed a barracks at 1:00 AM and shot dead seven sleeping men who were allegedly part of an illegal mining operation.

The Fulani militia, brandishing weapons, takes its role in standing up for truth and justice seriously.

The fact that the victims were Christians in a predominantly Muslim nation has no bearing, nor does the history of widespread armed violence against churches across a country where private ownership of firearms is strictly forbidden.

As for illegal mining, yes, the vics were probably up to something illegal. The article does not indicate what type of mining, nor what forces had persuaded laws against it. I smell money at work here someplace, but I am admittedly a cynic on such things.

Government troops stationed nearby and charged with protecting the populace from groups like the Fulani militia, Boka Haram and the Islamic State West Africa Province, leaped into action. As well they should, as those organizations are noted for wantonly burning both churches and mosques alike.

“Leaped into action,” however, may overstate the case. The 1:00 AM attack site was visited eight hours later by first responders, who said, “Yep, looks like another bloodbath.”

Interestingly, the Christian minister who led the burial service put into words what many Americans believe but often have trouble verbalizing clearly: “We preach peace, but peace must not mean surrender to slaughter,” he said. “The right to life is sacred, and protecting that life is not a crime.”

If you slap a man for being a Christian, that’s one thing. If you turn a pistol on him, that may be something else entirely.

Number 1. Inter Newscast dot com. Armed teens are overmatched by a retired Marine.

In a classic failure to read the room, four teenaged men sought to steal a pickup truck from a Maryland man outside his home in broad daylight. What they had on their side was a pistol.

Showing the gun probably was a poor choice. Former Marine Jheyco Borda simply took the gun away and threw the tough guy to the ground. Borda’s brother emerged from the house and wrestled down a second one. The other two, passionate “one for all and all for one” types, fled on foot.

Police arrived and arrested all four assailants.

Choose your audience. Someone has called events like this, “a catastrophic failure of the victim selection process.”

And… an update on the Gone Scientists.

This story has fallen off the front pages, but I sincerely hope someone somewhere continues to investigate.

Where is Efrem Zimbalist Jr., when you really need him?

The remains of Melissa Casias, the Los Alamos National Laboratory administrative assistant who disappeared while hiking a year ago, were discovered in Carson National Forest, New Mexico.

Casias’ disappearance has been linked to that of other Americans who had access to highly restricted documents related to national security. Nuclear developments, rocket technology, and so forth. To date, I have seen no further word on the others.

Unlike some reporting on this most recent find, this does not “bring to closure” the matter of her death. She died for some reason, maybe self-inflicted, maybe not. The others disappeared or died for other reasons. I would really like to know what those reasons might include, and who might be behind them.

And thanks for joining The Alligator News Roundup for Friday, June 12, 2026. I am happy to report that recovery from last week’s hip surgery proceeds apace and has not yet riled domestic disturbance in a household where the guy who is normally away for hours each day has now suddenly been forced indoors with Mrs. Alligator. She is dutiful, gracious and long-suffering, and occasionally shows it.

And, some astute readers will note it was exactly four years ago today that I saw a doctor who first uttered the word “leukemia” in my presence. Time marches on.

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I had a hip replaced on Tuesday. The doctor tells me it went well, which may mean the Medicare interfaces all worked as designed.

I am now at home being a serious pest to Mrs Alligator and contemplating the moral degeneration…

Read more

A friend of mine in banking told me he has used an artificial intelligence agent for ten years. “I can’t do this volume of coding without it,” he reports. He, like most who follow the ANR, is clever and intelligent. He knows how to drive his AI agent, and he knows where the ditches are.

Would you hand a scalpel to a plumber? Sure, under the right circumstances. (No offense to plumbers—I have found they are a huge contributor to my quality of life.)

In the case of Pocket OS, a software outfit that serves multiple rental car agencies, the scalpel they wielded came with its own ideas about where to cut.

It decided the entire company database needed to be exorcised—including all backups.

The operation took 9 seconds, and… poof! it was gone.

Claude, the Anthropic AI offering, employed a tool called Cursor, running on an API called Railway. Clear so far?

During a routine update, Cursor (which now seems to be an appropriate name) encountered a problem and, per its instructions, sought to remove it. The removal process was executed by Railway, which, per its instructions, completely solved the problem and returned results to Cursor. Which discovered that not only had the problem been removed, but so had everything else in the database.

Everything. Customer records, billing statements, future reservations, payment history, yada yada.

For multiple rental car clients, which meant many thousands of rental customers.

When challenged in the “who shot John” follow-up, Cursor admitted it had passed the command to Railway without first reading Railway’s documentation file.

Basically: “Sorry about that, Chief.”

While writing a middle grade action-adventure story (my latest time sink obsession) I have used ChatGPT extensively for line editing and timeline consistency: How to have this character say this better? is this timeframe reasonable for that activity? etc.

Occasionally Chat will forget what chapter we are in and who the other characters are.

I have had to stop and prompt: Please read the entire file I just uploaded, then answer my question again. Invariably, the response is a very pleasant and honest, “Oh, you are absolutely right to question this. Now that have I read the file, here is the correct answer…”

Meanwhile, if Chat and I ever get this project into print, I’ll let you know.

So, use the scalpel with your own intelligence, not someone else’s.

Number 3. AP News. Another Ebola treatment center is set ablaze, spreading virus further.

With yet another outbreak of the deadly and highly contagious Ebola virus in the Congo this month, local burial practices have once again conflicted with careful medical treatment.

The body of a local man was held in a clinic after his death. His friends, “local youths” according to the article, demanded his body for proper burial. They were denied for reasons of protocol safety in handling infected remains.

Logically, the local youths were angered. They showed it by setting fire to the clinic, then fleeing the scene.

Presumably, the act of vandalism, causing uncertain spreading of the virus as well as certain difficulty in treating other cases, will appease whatever cosmic forces had demanded proper burial services.

Perhaps those unnamed cosmic forces need to get up with the times. They could probably just tap into the AP News feed and modify burial service methods as necessary.

This reminds me of a statement made on talk radio during the 1992 Rodney King riots in LA. A week of violent unrest resulted in 63 dead, 2,000+ injured and $1 billion in property damage.

Walter E. Williams, a quick-witted and eloquent black economist guest hosting for Rush Limbaugh, said something like: “And now I’ve got a word for my own folks out there. The next time the white man does something you don’t like, don’t burn down your own neighborhood.”

Number 2. NBC News. Fast food worker refunds mac ‘n’ cheese purchases to his own credit card. Does not end well for him.

A young Chick-fil-A employee in Texas was just trying to get a little of his own back.

Exploring the wonders of a state-of-the-art cash register, to which for some reason he had been given full access, he discovered how to accept a customer-prompted return. A credit could be issued to the customer for an unwanted or unsatisfactory purchase.

Chasing the technology curve, young Mr. Jones further recognized that the refund could be applied to a credit card electronically. No more swiping Andrew Jacksons from the cash drawer. Probably he understood that someone would notice missing cash at the end of the day.

Cleverly, he opened a brand new credit card account and went to town. “They’ll NEVER find me NOW!”

Unfortunately, he had not chased the tech curve far enough to realize that his employer’s refunds were immediately noted as flowing to the new credit card account in his own name.

Nor did he understand that the surveillance cameras in the restaurant watched more than customers stealing soft drinks. Poor Mr. Jones. It’s tough to get ahead when the cards are stacked against you.

In about 1975, I worked at a university cafeteria. The pots-n-pans guy and the custodian were antagonists toward one another, which was awkward in that they shared a common locker room with adjacent lockers.

One day, the custodian’s checkbook turned up missing. By complete coincidence, the next week a check with an unreadable signature made a payment on the dishwasher’s trailer house.

Quite the mystery. The wheels of justice ground forward.

I marvel. Only by the grace of God has our world survived thus far.

A cynic might speculate that is what the judge and prophet Samuel implied with his proclamation of “Ebenezer!” in 1 Samuel 7:12. (“So far, the LORD has helped us.”)

Number 1. People online. Well-intentioned woman stocks help-the-poor fridge, finds it wiped out in the first hour.

It was a noble way to address a problem that had no solution.

A Brashawnee Johnson felt called to fill up the local community refrigerator, so that her less fortunate neighbors could have something for dinner. While the “something” involved peanut butter and vienna sausages, at least it was a kind gesture.

Ms. Johnson spent $1,800 on carefully selected items, lovingly placing them in the unsecured Louisiana fridge.

Less than an hour later, it was all gone.

She suspects there were people who were more greedy than hungry, but she can’t be sure.

Security cameras have now been placed to help police track inappropriate appropriations of the foodstuffs. Which leads to a challenge for investigators: What, exactly, will you ask the suspects once they are identified?

“Were you really hungry?”

Ms. Johnson is undeterred. She plans to continue contributions, in the hopes that some truly in need are helped. That is admirable.

The onliest tinge of concern might be that the $1,800 gift was funded by Brashawnee Johnson’s non-profit, The Village Foundation. I found zero reference to The Village Foundation other than many articles and social media posts bemoaning the sudden loss, and most spilling some angst over other hungries who could have used the vienna sausages.

There is absolutely nothing to suggest anything wrong or fraudulent here. However, channeling Reagan, “Trust, but verify.” I would like to see a touch more research into the non-profit. Specifically, besides personal tax write-offs for donations, what other government tax dollars might support the charity?

But that’s just me, letting my jaded blogger persona show.

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When it comes to a major company showing its political colors, mum’s the word.

Multiple out-of-control wildfires in California a year ago destroyed 13,000 homes and drove some 200,000 residents to evacuate. Most notable were upscale communities in the Palisades and Altadena. The story dominated news at the time, especially with reports of reservoirs that had been allowed to go dry.

Within one year, fewer than a dozen homes had been rebuilt.

The area remains devasted today. As of this writing, you can easily see the damage in your map app—but only if you are using Apple Maps.

Google Maps has inexplicably returned to using pre-2025 satellite imagery.

Thus far there has been no statement from Google as to why their current, up-to-date, always-on satellite mapping app suddenly shows images nearly two years out of date. I suppose if you are trying to navigate streets, it might work—assuming you can actually get vehicle access to the burned areas.

If on the other hand you are a property tax assessor, it could be a problem.

It occurs to me that may be the play: It would be logical that local governments turn to publicly available satellite images to assess property values. I can hardly wait to see the stories of homeowners who lost half-million-dollar properties being billed for homes that no longer exist.

The fly in the ointment is, as usual, the free market. While Google has purged the fire history by showing outdated images, Apple Maps continues to show the true devastation of affected neighborhoods.

The side-by-side contrast is impressive.

These government propagandists all need to get on the same page.

Number 3. RedState. Prosecutor held to account for using fake AI case history.

A murder trial in Georgia went against the defendant. The guilty party, not surprisingly, appealed the decision, and it went to the Georgia Supreme Court.

The state prosecutor composed the state’s response, showing case law that upheld the conviction.

At some point, a judge actually read the response and looked up the cases the assistant district attorney cited. He could not find them, because they did not exist.

The judge wrote: “…There are at least five citations to cases that don't exist… including three quotations that don't exist…”

It turns out that ADA Deborah Leslie had relied on—you guessed it—an AI agent to prepare her case for the legal review.

I get it… she was probably overworked, understaffed and underpaid. But when His Honor challenged her in open court, asking if she stood by her written response, it probably left her wishing she had chosen volleyball instead of debate for an extracurricular back in high school.

The case was sent back to the lower court and Ms. Leslie was suspended for six months. Some considered that punishment far too light, considering the stakes of the case.

I asked my own ChatGPT agent why attorneys might place such blind trust in the Large Language Model. It gave quite reasonable answers:

An LLM understands:

• what case citations look like,

• how judicial reasoning is structured,

• how appellate briefs are written,

• how courts quote precedent.

The model is not intentionally lying in the human sense. It is statistically predicting what a valid-looking answer should resemble.

Try it yourself. Here is the prompt I used:

There was a recent Georgia supreme court case tossed bc the ADA relied on an AI agent to write her response to an appeal. A judge found the ADA had cited 5 non-existent cases. This seems like a stupid human mistake, trusting without verifying. What is there about AI responses that make them so believable?

ChatGPT’s answer:

“The proper mental model for current LLMs is not ‘junior associate’, but rather ‘an extremely articulate intern with a photographic memory, zero shame, and no built-in truth filter.’”

Number 2. AOL News. LA mayoral candidate proposes banning backyard BBQ to fight fires.

Speaking of last year’s California fires, a new proposal has been made to fix the problem: Los Angeles should ban backyard barbecue grills.

Current L.A. City Council member Nithya Raman is running for mayor. She believes the solution to devastating fires—likely started by exposed electric lines in areas with excessive and dry ground cover, and exacerbated by high winds—is to stop residents from grilling hamburgers.

Daytime temps can reach 100 degrees F in that area, but evenings are generally cool. Many residents prefer to relax in the backyard at the end of the day.

Meanwhile, there are a dozen factors that contributed to the L.A. devastation, none of which involved a backyard barbie.

With backlash—who could have predicted that???—Council member Raman has attempted to distance herself from her own proposal. Good luck with that. Perhaps a word or two about clearing brush and seeing that reservoirs are filled might have been in order… but it was probably easier just to write a new city ordinance making it the fault of the residents.

“Tone deaf” could be a term used here.

Number 1. Breitbart. Campaign promise: Current LA mayor promises new teeth for meth addicts.

Staying with Los Angeles politics, I couldn’t resist this one.

Current Mayor Karen Bass—embattled in her bid for re-election—has found a way to appeal to a key constituency. Unfortunate persons addicted to Methamphetamine often suffer from symptoms like dry mouth and broken teeth.

Just what I had hoped for in a hobby. Not only does it not pay anything, it leaves me with a mouth of ruined teeth.

If Mayor Bass is returned to the Mayor’s mansion, help will soon be on the way. Her proposal is to help unhoused persons with full, free dental care. Because, she says, “You can’t succeed without teeth!”

That may be true, but I suspect you also can’t succeed with new teeth and a meth addiction. “Boss, I know the guy’s on meth, but look at that smile! Let’s hire him to run the cash register!”

Given that implants run about $6,000 per tooth, costs are estimated at $30-80k per mouth. Given the number of meth addicts who apparently inhabit the City of Angels, this may be an expensive way to purchase a Mayoral election. It’s a good thing the taxpayers will be there to fund it, instead of Mayor Bass herself.

And thanks for joining The Alligator News Roundup for Friday, May 22, 2026.

Enjoy this spring weather while you can. This weekend should be perfect for a backyard barbeque. Fire up that grill and throw on some steaks—or maybe just hot dogs.

But it would be a good idea not to set the lawn on fire. If you are not sure what safety precautions to take (which maybe 200 million Americans have successfully figured out)… maybe you should stick to Ramen noodles in the microwave.

Have a good weekend!

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In the wake of the Virginia Supreme Court decision striking down the statewide referendum on voter redistricting, the Democrat-led Virginia assembly has proposed a bold new plan: Fire the justices.

Without getting overmuch into the weeds, Virginia state law requires that a referendum such as was just passed requires a waiting period before it can be put to a vote of the people. That waiting period was ignored, over the objections of the only Democrat in the state who had read their Constitution.

I presume the law in question violated 24.2-682 “Times for special elections” of the Code of Virginia, which I found on-line in an intensive search requiring about 8 seconds. “A referendum election shall be ordered at least 81 days prior to the date for which the referendum election is called.”

In this case, the timeframe allowed was something like 20 minutes.

So the obvious answer to this intractable problem is to fire the SCOVA justices—all of them. It is far too tedious to draft a new statute, which itself would require some sort of niggling vote or something.

The easy button for vacating the Supreme Court—which the commonwealth must provide, according to that same meddlesome Constitution—is to simply declare the current raft of robed dignitaries who can read ineligible to serve. Current Virginia law requires mandatory retirement for justices at age 75.

Just mandate retirement at 54. Problem solved.

It will come as no shock to readers of the ANR to learn that the youngest of the seven serving justices is 54 and one-fourth years old.

At press time, there is a rumor an amendment to the suggested legislation has been proposed, lowering the minimum age of SCOVA justices to 13, along with other mandatory qualifications: Resident of Virginia within 15 miles of Washington, D.C., experienced cannabis user, and displaying no fewer than 6 body piercings.

Number 3. RedState. Trump sued for painting the Reflecting Pool “flag blue”.

President Trump has once again committed one of the foulest acts of treachery ever conceived: he has decided to renovate the historic Reflecting Pool on the Washington Mall.

The decision to drain, clean and re-paint the surface of the Pool dishonors the memory of those brave Americans who fought and died so that we could have… a Reflecting Pool subjected to leakage, and plagued with algae, goose droppings, discarded garbage, and general detritus.

But the real problem noted in the lawsuit is that Trump plans to resurface the pool with a bright blue industrial surface. He calls it “American flag blue.” Rumors that the color emits a unique spectroscopic signature that will destroy the lens of Chinese surveillance satellites could not be confirmed.

I suspect that even if Trump decided to re-paint the surface in the same non-descript gray that Obama ordered in 2012, there would still be a lawsuit over the renovation.

Unidentified sources exclusive to the ANR report that the “flag blue” color was decided on after considering whether it should be a solid color, or should be painted with a design that could be seen from space. Rubio and Vance were in favor of Trump’s 2023 mugshot; Hegseth liked the Butler PA “raised fist” photo. All were overruled by Trump, the coolest head among them.

On a financial note, Obama’s renovation cost $34 million. Trump announced “I got a pool guy” who would do it for $1.8. That cost has since risen to $6.9. Some press reports indicate $13.1. Hard to tell which is true when the reporting comes from sources who appear to hate everything Trump.

This week, two guys in white overalls and a Chevy panel van were seen with paint rollers and 5-gallon cans of blue paint, working on the floor of the pool.

Number 2. Bearing Arms dot com. New Jersey contradicts itself over guns and ammo.

There is an old story about a farmer who asked to borrow his neighbor’s rope. “No,” said the neighbor, “gotta use it to tie up my milk.”

The first man protested. “You can’t use rope to tie up milk.”

“That is as it may be,” said the neighbor. “But I ain’t gonna loan you my rope. So one excuse is as good as another.”

The State of New Jersey follows apparently similar logic. We don’t want you to have a gun, so any old reason will do.

The Garden State has long prohibited citizens from owning what they call assault rifles. This is based on the idea that those are military-style weapons, and no civilian should possess a military firearm, because they are dangerous.

Now, they have banned civilian ownership of hollow point bullets. The logic is that hollow points are useless, because those are not widely used by the military. If they were any good, the Army would have them.

Police departments have migrated to hollow points because (1) they are less likely to over-penetrate a target, especially important in a heavily populated area, (2) they create a larger wound channel, which promotes more immediate physical incapacity, (3) the risk of ricochet (harming bystanders) is reduced, and (4) they tend to be less lethal because fewer rounds are required to stop the threat.

But New Jersey has effectively said: You must not use an asset that is not used by the military, and also you must not use an asset that the military uses.

I think I’ve got it. New Jersey does not want you to have a gun.

Self-defense is moving back toward edged weapons… like in the good old days. Three hundred years ago, maybe.

If you are tall, young, male, and have a long reach, your odds are much better.

Number 1. New York Post. Water park party organizer runs a “Learing Center”.

Last week we brought you word that Epic Waters in Grand Prairie, Texas, planned a “Muslims-only” day at the water park. Attenders were advised that it would be family friendly, that females should dress modestly, that males should “lower their gaze”, and that only Muslims were welcome.

After some considerable American outrage, Epic Waters re-published the event as open to all, yet still with a strong Islam-friendly theme.

Epic Waters is taxpayer funded. Governor Abbot responded immediately with a threat to withhold state funds from the city of Grand Prairie for allowing such a religiously intolerant exercise. The event was subsequently cancelled.

Sara Gonzales from The Blaze interviewed Dr. Aminah Knight, organizer of the event. During the discussion, Dr. Knight was asked about a different initiative she owns. The “Excellence Early Learing Center” offers a multicultural environment with small classrooms for pre-K children. Instructors hold degrees in various fields (accounting, biology, science, math, etc) “from their home countries.”

The article does not identify “their home countries.”

Being the ace culture detective that I am, I am assembling a set of clues: Dr. Aminah Knight has a name that sounds vaguely not American; Dr. Knight organized an event exclusively for Muslims; Dr. Knight operates an “Early Learing Center” in Texas with misspelling identical to that found in a Somali enterprise in Minnesota.

I think I see a pattern emerging.

In the interview, Gonzales asked whether misspelling like that should cause anyone to question the quality of the education offered by those degreed instructors. Dr. Knight pushed back: “It was just a typo! I thought we were here to talk about the water park!'“

Which did not precisely answer the question.

And thank for joining The Alligator News Roundup for Friday, May 15, 2026. If you are still employed, good for you.

Just know that as you reach that advanced age approaching 54 you could be in jeopardy of being forced to retire.

Especially if you can read.

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Iran’s attempts to block the Strait of Hormuz have now turned to the animal kingdom—or more correctly, the sea mammal kingdom.

First they used shore-based rockets to attack cargo ships carrying oil. U.S. and Israeli air assets destroyed most of those rocket installations.

Then they planted mines in the water. U.S. and NATO mine sweepers cleared those away.

Next they resorted to small fast-boats—a longtime favorite of Middle East pirates—only to see them summarily sunk from the air and by surface-to-surface gunfire.

Now they have turned to the cetaceans.

More than two decades ago, Iran purchased an unspecified number of trained dolphins from what this article refers to as “the Soviet navy.” I thought the Soviets were not a thing by then, but maybe I was wrong about that. Regardless the source, Iranians came into possession of this unique bio-based weapon.

Now, they are reportedly unleashing it on U.S. and NATO warships in the Strait.

No reports yet on the effectiveness of this new tactic.

An Iranian Navy spokesman identified only as “Bob”—which he is quick to assert is not his real name—speaking through an unattributed YouTube upload from an undisclosed location using an incognito browser in an untraceable internet cafe, made this bold proclamation:

“The Yankee and Zionist imperialists have finally met their match. There is no path to victory for them in the Strait of Hormuz which Allah gave exclusively to the Iranian people. The dolphins have freely volunteered to give their all to this holy—”

At which point the video abruptly dissolved into snow and was replaced with a 404 error message indicating the URL could no longer be reached.

In an unrelated event, sources indicated that a U.S. frigate in the Strait had fired a single Tomahawk missile toward the only internet cafe still operational in Tehran. No bomb damage assessment was immediately available.

But really, where is PETA? Are they up for this fight?

Number 3. RedState. City owned water park in Texas schedules a Muslims only day, then backtracks.

The City of Grand Prairie in the Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex has found that the water in their taxpayer-funded water park is hotter than they anticipated.

Epic Waters Indoor Waterpark, 2970 Epic Place, Grand Prairie, Texas, announced a Muslim-only day at the park to celebrate Eid al Adha, the annual Islamic “Feast of the Sacrifice.”

Supported by city sales tax, the original flyer advertising the event clearly specified “For Muslims Only—A Family-Friendly Environment.” Presumably it is unfriendly to Christian and Jewish families.

That plan lasted for maybe a few minutes, until Texas outrage forced a change in plans. The revised flyer now indicates “Come and Celebrate EID with us! All Are Welcome!”

Interestingly, the Epic Waters website suggests appropriate swimwear for the event—head to toe full coverage for females. Their FAQ page also suggests “lowering the gaze” so as to maintain respectful behavior.

A few responses to the encouragement to “lower my gaze” at a public waterpark come to mind, none of which are suitable for the ANR.

Given the political environment in Texas, I would be surprised if there was not legislative or gubernatorial action to prohibit this sort of exclusivity. By the time you read this, it may already be in motion.

Note the growing Islamic influence in local governments around the United States. (This is not satire.) Zohran Mamdani was elected Mayor of our largest city. Daily calls to prayer are now announced by loud speaker in certain areas there. Washington Square Park (NYC) was recently given over to Islamic public prayer. Epic City (unrelated to Epic Waters) is a planned Muslim community in Texas aiming to become “the epicenter of U.S. Islam”.

Months ago, Texas U.S. Representative Chip Roy introduced legislation to curtail the spread of Sharia Law. The bill calls for deportation of anyone who ascribes to Sharia. It also paves the way to revoke U.S. citizenship for individuals previously naturalized, who now advocate for socialism.

Predictably, the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) has voiced opposition on Constitutional grounds. Free speech, and all that.

I never liked Ayn Rand (Atlas Shrugged) because of her focus on “Objectivism” to the exclusion of Christian faith. But one of her themes was that you ought not allow someone else to hold you hostage to your own convictions. The Constitutional argument against allowing an Islamic religious takeover of America is an apt illustration.

Maybe Texas can show some sense.

Number 2. NDTV World. 40,000 French descend on a rave to protest law against raves—despite unexploded ordnance.

The French love a party, and the bigger the better. Last weekend some 40,000 revelers descended on a military installation near Bourges (central France) to enjoy techno music and unbridled, joyous dancing.

Never mind that the 25,000 acre location is an active bombing range, or that unexploded ordnance litters the landscape. The Directorate General of Armaments indicates live shells are routinely discovered and dismantled at the site. It has been in use for explosives testing for 150 years.

Large raves are illegal in France—which is apparently reason enough to have a large rave in protest of the legislation.

Organizers have suggested that ravers avoid digging holes or picking up objects found on the ground. No kidding.

Good luck with that.

Meanwhile, a sea of tents and campers extend as far as the eye can see.

Don’t dig a hole in the ground, because it might blow up. I’ll bet sanitation is… a challenge.

Number 1. WISN TV 12. Hundreds of beagles released from medical lab testing—and touch grass for the first time.

Ridglan Farms at Blue Mounds, Wisconsin, is a beagle breeding facility with a research laboratory attached. For years it has attracted unwanted attention from animal rights groups.

Beagles, because they are docile (and can’t complain to the media), make ideal candidates for medical testing, as long as you can’t hear them whine.

Reports of “painful surgeries without anesthesia” have surfaced. A Depression-era agreement required animal testing of all new human drug treatments. That has proceeded at Ridglan Farms for nearly a century. FDA guidelines in the last five years have made such testing obsolete. It is now understood to be inhumane—which it is.

A better word might be reprehensible.

Testing has nevertheless continued, and now the USDA has intervened. Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., HHS Secretary, has been instrumental in stopping federal funding for beagle testing there.

This week, the first release of beagles took place. Some 150 were rescued by local animal rights groups pursuant to a legal agreement. Video footage shows scores of Snoopies who were able to touch grass and run freely for the first time in their lives.

I really can’t go on with this story. The pictures on my monitor are getting blurry.

And thanks for joining The Alligator News Roundup for Friday, May 8, 2026. It is a complex world in which we live. The less clear we are about our worldview, the more confusing it is. If you are contemplating your own worldview—which we used to a “philosophy of life”—you might consider starting with a few simple words, such as:

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.

And go from there. While you’re at it, find a beagle to pet.

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(Not satire.)

As remarkable as the occurrence of yet another armed attack on the Chief Executive this week was Donald Trump’s own reaction.

When he took a bullet in Butler Pennsylvania in 2024, the (then-former) President’s first response was to raise a fist and shout “Fight! Fight! Fight!” That had the immediate effect of assuring onlookers that he had survived.

In last weekend’s incident during the White House Correspondents’ Dinner at the Washington Hilton, we got another glimpse of the man who occupies the Oval Office.

This account is offered by David Alandete, White House Correspondent for Diario ABC, who had a front-row seat: The President’s first impulse was to get his First Lady and his very pregnant Press Secretary to safety. Then he proceeded to walk out upright, refusing to duck.

Which probably explains why the Secret Service felt compelled to shove him to the floor.

We could possibly chalk up the Butler reaction to a seasoned performer seizing a golden opportunity to show off. But the WHCD event shows his true colors: Save the women.

With those two instinctive, split-second reactions, we cannot reasonably draw any conclusion other than that they revealed exceptional personal courage, immediate concern for the safety of others, and a leader’s reflex to confront danger rather than shrink from it.

Say what you will, the man keeps his wits about him.

Meanwhile, we have seen three armed attacks on this man in twenty-one months. The dominant—one could say, blood-thirsty—narrative of the legacy media shows no signs of moderating. Terms like Hitler, fascist, dictator and tyrant are thrown around as though no consequences are expected.

Major political figures from the opposition party describe Donald Trump as “an existential threat to democracy,” a fascist who desires “unchecked power,” and have called for “maximum warfare, everywhere, all the time.”

Are these to be taken seriously? It appears that some do.

We have another two-and-a-half years to go in this presidential term. Assassination attempts are coming at the rate of one every seven months. Stay tuned.

Number 3. Autopost Global. GM software decides if you are well enough to drive.

On to happier subjects.

In a never-ending AI-assisted effort to protect us from ourselves, General Motors has a fabulous idea: Use a car’s camera sensing system to analyze the driver who approaches. Study the person’s gait and speed, run it through a blindingly fast algorithm, and make an instantaneous judgment whether that person ought to be allowed to start the car.

This could identify a person under the influence of drugs or alcohol, or suffering from a lack of sleep, and potentially save him (or her) and others from a dangerous car crash.

It could also intervene with someone suffering from chronic back pain, or recovering from surgery, who happens to be cleared to drive.

Growing up on the farm, one of the rules was that anyone operating a tractor in a distant field must have access to a functioning vehicle. Leave the pickup at the gate. In the event of a serious injury at an isolated location, one might need to drive for help in something besides a five-mile-per-hour John Deere dragging a plow.

But of course, that’s 1950s thinking. Today we have cell phones and 9-1-1. Why solve the problem yourself if you can ask someone else to do it for you?

We also have driverless technology today, where a smart vehicle can drive you across town without human intervention. These systems are mostly foolproof.

Mostly.

An Austin, Texas, woman attempted to seize control of her Cybertruck as it drove itself off an overpass at high speed. She was unable to react quickly enough, but fortunately the concrete guardrail caught the car before it plunged to the freeway below.

The Tesla was apparently confused by the orange cones. Well… so am I. But I usually KNOW when I am confused.

Another safety feature of the driverless cars is the quite responsible limitation to keep from driving over obstacles in front of the vehicle. It is all well and good to avoid striking someone blocking the car—but it may fail to acknowledge their accomplices beating on the side windows to attack the helpless occupants within.

For the assailant, this sounds much safer than daylight car-jacking. All that is required is an empty baby stroller and a tire iron.

I love technology. And for a cosmopolitan flavor of technological threats to national security, read on.

Number 2. Le Monde. French aircraft carrier fleet location revealed by exercise app.

Men (and women) of military age take their fitness seriously. Or should. The workout app Strava is a popular way to track physical activity. The app on your phone and/or watch keeps track of time, distance and exertion levels. It also records your location via GPS, and thoughtfully uploads it all to The Cloud for safekeeping.

Once in cyberspace, that data is also accessible to someone with the means to acquire it.

Recently, a healthy and fit sailor on the French aircraft carrier Charles de Gaulle, on patrol in the Mediterranean, tracked his daily exercise with his smart watch.

He instantly disclosed the current position of the warship to anyone interested enough in finding it.

In all actuality, he need not have worried that he alone was responsible for sharing classified information. As it happened, a fellow sailor, unknown to him, did exactly the same thing in the same way on the Dutch frigate HNLMS Evertsen, which was accompanying the Charles de Gaulle on the same exercise.

Both men revealed warship locations, an infraction to be avoided, no doubt drilled into them many times over. This is Naval Security 101, “Introduction to Not Being Targeted by Incoming Missiles.”

This is not the first time this has occurred. Two years ago the same thing happened with same Strava app, revealing the location of a French nuclear submarine. I wrote about it here at the time.

Extra credit if you can find the post… I think I have lost track.

What I find most interesting in the current stories is that there is no report in the press relating the two incidents. There are standalone new articles describing the same voyage. Maybe intelligence assets in Holland only review Dutch news, and their French counterparts only review French news.

Maybe they should both follow the ANR more closely.

Number 1. Breitbart. Gone Scientist toll adds two more names.

(Not satire.)

Just before the ANR was published last week, with news that the number of missing and dead U.S. scientists engaged in aerospace and nuclear research had risen to 14, another story came to light. There was no time to add it to that post without missing my Thursday night ritual of a McHale’s Navy episode on YouTube.

Then on Monday this week, yet another was added. By my count, that brings us to 16 missing or dead, many—but not all—under mysterious or unexplained circumstances.

The latest:

Matthew James Sullivan, age 39, Falls Church, Virginia. USAF Veteran. Apparently a whistleblower who was scheduled to offer testimony to Congress on UFO programs. HIs death was ruled an accidental overdose, what the medical examiner called “a lethal mix of alcohol, alprazolam, cyclobenzaprine and imipramine.” Died May 12, 2024.

Joshua LeBlanc, age 29. NASA engineer in nuclear propulsion. Team lead for projects related to missions to Mars. His Tesla Model 3 had burned with his body inside. Vehicle tracking data revealed a confusing trip involving several hours idle at Huntsville International Airport prior to driving two hours into rural Alabama where it was later discovered. Phone, wallet and dog were left in his apartment. He was found dead on July 22, 2025.

To be sure, the list of dead and missing includes some who are probably… mentally imbalanced... not to say nut-jobs. There are others with security clearances who reportedly had serious money troubles, making them susceptible to influence that could lead to suicide.

But there are names on the list that cannot be so easily dismissed. I look forward to seeing results of an FBI investigation. This must not go on.

And thanks for joining The Alligator News Roundup for Friday, May 1, 2026. Be careful when you approach your ultra-intelligent car. Try not to limp. The car may be smarter than you are. Or maybe much dumber.

This may be a good case for masking tape over the cameras. Except that in an accident you would probably be found guilty of some immeasurable evil.

Maybe it’s a better case for driving a 25-year-old vehicle.

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I know you turn to the ANR for current, juicy news items with commentary you cannot get elsewhere. This one is not exactly current, but given what I know of the slightly off-kilter—not to say twisted—sense of humor among those in the Alligator Posse, I think you’ll enjoy this one.

Shipping living animals for commercial trade across borders requires government permits. Critters taken in the wild are carriers of all sorts of diseases, and moving them must be certified. When it involved squirrels taken in China and transported by commercial air to buyers in Greece, the airline was forced to intervene.

A 1999 shipment of 440 squirrels was intercepted by KLM airlines in Amsterdam. I would love to know how the baggage handlers became aware of the contraband but unfortunately, the Independent didn’t offer that tidbit. No doubt it was overshadowed by the manner of disposal of the smuggled woodland rodents.

KLM policy—apparently this happens often enough to require a policy—was that an animal (or insect, or reptile… whatever) was to be euthanized in a humane fashion by…

Well… how would YOU do it? Given that you work in a clean airport environment surrounded by steel and cement? Not a forest in sight.

They use a shredder, conventionally designed for the meat processing industry.

The policy probably envisioned one or two contraband turtle doves, or some such. The shredder, while a touch unsavory, is quick, and therefore as humane as possible.

But this particular import/export business operated at scale. Over 400 squirrels required… processing. And processed they were. Fortunately, there is no video.

The squirrels were intended for investors who apparently wanted them for pets. Given that one out of every four citizens in Holland is a pet owner, the country was in an uproar when the news broke. The Dutch parliament convened an emergency session.

I wonder about PTSD among the baggage handlers. “I’m sorry, honey, you wouldn’t believe the day I had. I really don’t want to talk about it. But I hope to never see a scoop shovel ever again.”

Number 3. New York Post. Tesla owner stabbed, ambulance stolen, patient expires, family sues.

This was a really bad day for Reinaldo Jesus LeFonts, age 68, a retired California lab technician. Mr. LeFonts chose to service his Tesla last week at the conveniently located charging station outside the Downey City Library.

It only takes about 15 minutes to get a reasonable charge into a Tesla, but that was enough time for the driver to be attacked. A homeless man, previously convicted some 28 times for various offenses, stabbed Mr. LeFonts while he waited.

No one knows why, but it hardly matters.

Details in the article are sketchy. Paramedics arrived. As they tended to the victim, a second homeless man—who had been arrested and released the day before on an unrelated charge—stole the ambulance. It left the scene, taking with it Mr. LeFonts’ hope of survival.

He unfortunately succumbed to his injuries. His family now sues the City for $40 million, alleging various failures of administration and funding.

Several questions arise, none of which will bring back the victim. Where was the law enforcement protection in an area receiving over 200 calls each year for criminal violations? What efforts have been made to address the homeless problem? (And to what extent are the homeless subsidized by well-intentioned benefits programs?)

Why would a driver expose himself to such an assault in a high crime area? Doesn’t the Tesla have door locks?

It makes rural living look so much more attractive.

Number 2. Autoblog dot com. Driver blows up minivan as cigarette ignites propane.

In the “Don’t do stupid things” department, this story is a cautionary tale.

A Virginia woman escaped with only minor injuries when her Chrysler minivan exploded last week. She had been transporting a portable propane tank—the kind commonly used for backyard grills—when she decided to light up a cigarette.

Unfortunately, the tank leaked. The enclosed vehicle filled with highly flammable gas, and the spark touched it off.

Photos of the wreck are impressive.

Propane is heavier than air, which is why owners are urged to let the tank remain upright. That may minimize the chance that a leaky valve might release fuel.

One wonders what the inside of the car smelled like. “Wow… it stinks in here—I think I need a cigarette.”

But really… don’t light up in the presence of a propane tank, especially in an enclosed space.

Don’t they teach this stuff in school anymore?

(Am I dreaming, or what?)

Number 1. Fox News. NASA searches for link in 11—make that 14— missing/dead scientists.

(Not satire.)

[See the late-breaking update at the bottom of this section.]

We have reported on this at least twice before. At last count, the ANR brought news of nine U.S. scientists (or scientists-adjacent) reported missing or dead. With only a couple of exceptions, all had worked on, or had access to, highly advanced—and classified—projects related to aerospace and nuclear energy.

Now, more names have been added.

These are/were people with significant career accomplishments, employed at places like MIT, CalTech, NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory and Los Alamos National Labs.

It beggars belief that so many high profile deaths and disappearances—concentrated among those dealing with U.S. national security—are merely coincidental. Unexplained trips, missing persons, cell phones left behind, suspicious early deaths… this sounds like a page from what we might term the Clinton Social-Circle Suicide book of the 1990s—but this time with international implications.

A different article from Fox News provides an up-to-date summary of each individual. It’s worth a read.

The names (with ages) now include:

1. Michael David Hicks, 59;

2. Frank Maiwald, 61;

3. Nuno Loureiro, 47;

4. Jason Thomas, 45;

5. Amy Eskridge, 34;

6. Carl Grillmair, 47;

7. Monica Reza, 60;

8. Melissa Casias, 53; (administrative assistant, not a scientist)

9. Anthony Chavez, 79;

10. Steven Garcia, 48;

11. and retired Air Force Maj. Gen. William Neil McCasland, 68.

As of last week, President Trump and FBI director Kash Patel are attending to this matter. At last, it is getting some well-deserved national attention.

It’s good to know they read the ANR. Everyone should.

And now, late-breaking news adds yet more names to the list of scientists gone:

12. James "Tony" Moffatt, age 60, NASA aerospace engineer, U.S. Navy test pilot, payload specialist who supported 14 Space Shuttle missions. Died April 21, 2026 when his single-engine Mooney M20 crashed on landing in North Carolina. Family, also dead in the crash, were on board with him.

13. Andrew Moffatt, age 30 (son of James Moffat, above), research engineer and scientist at the University of Alabama in Huntsville's Research and Engineering Support Center. Died April 21, 2026 in the same light aircraft crash that killed his father.

14. Geoffrey Andrews, age 30, MIT Lincoln Laboratory, completed doctoral degree at Purdue. According to the obituary, he “dreamed of becoming an astronaut.” Died June 19, 2025 when his single-engine Mooney M20 crashed on landing at Beverly, Massachusetts.

I would never suggest the Geoffrey Andrews fatality from last year, or the Andrew Moffat death this week, were targeted in the same way as others on the list may have been. Their careers were new; most others had 20+ years in their field to develop notoriety. But these 30-year-olds were scientists in the aerospace segment, and if there is to be an investigation, they should be included.

Without a doubt, the senior Moffat, at age 60, ought to be added to the investigator’s list.

As of this writing, the Geoffrey Andrews story has not yet been linked to the others. I stumbled across it with a simple browser search looking for the Moffat crash. Somebody should call Kash Patel and let him know.

It is a sobering world out there.

And thanks for joining The Alligator News Roundup for Friday, April 24, 2026. If you have a woods nearby, take a quiet walk and observe the squirrels at play. They’re just trying to make a living, like everyone else. Speak softly to them and enjoy this piece of God’s creation.

And you might offer a brief prayer for those minimum-wage baggage handlers who had to deal with it. I cannot image the nightmares have gone away.

And… let’s hope—and pray—that we get to the bottom of the Gone Scientist nightmare soon.

Have a good weekend!

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Yes, we are on YouTube!

(Not satire.)

The spate of missing and dead U.S. space scientists continues to grow. In an earlier post, the ANR documented five scientists and one high-level administrative assistant who each had access to classified defense-related projects. Nearly all of those worked in aerospace, some with ties to UAP/UFO research.

The earlier named missing or dead were/are: William McCasland, Monica Jacinto Reza, Carl Grillmair, Nuno Loureiro, Jason Thomas, Melissa Casias.

Now we can add three more names:

David Michael Hicks, researcher at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL). Died July 30, 2023, age 59. Engaged in study of asteroids, contributed to Deep Space 1 Mission, testing novel spacecraft technology. Cause of death was not disclosed; autopsy not performed (or at least not published).

Frank Maiwald, researcher at JPL. Died July 4, 2024, age 61. Lead investigator in process to identify biosignatures of non-terrestrial life. Cause of death undisclosed; autopsy apparently not performed.

Anthony Chavez, employee at Los Alamos National Laboratory (LANL), retired in 2017, disappeared May 4, 2025 at age 79. His wallet, keys, cell phone and personal items were left at home. (He did not normally carry a cell phone.)

Chavez’ disappearance last year occurred within six weeks of the disappearance of Melissa Casias, also of LANL.

The Daily Mail article presents a graphic of the interconnections between these missing or dead individuals. In the picture, Nuno Loureiro (fusion research) and Jason Thomas (pharmaceutical research), both dead, are noted as having no identified connections.

Also, the picture does not show David Hicks, probably because that death had not yet been related to the others. Hicks was an associate of both Monica Reza and Frank Maiwald, both of whom are shown.

The new revelation here is the death of David Hicks in 2023. It seems that a few journalists have been practicing journalism, in that we have now gone back a few years to find other unexplained deaths or disappearances.

We will keep following this.

If you find published references to additional missing scientists, let me know. Somewhere, there may be a thread that ties these together.

Number 3. Breitbart. Fake disease “Bixonimania” picked up and “validated” by AI.

This is too rich. A real-life Swedish medical researcher made up a ridiculous illness and posted it to a few medical media sites. It was picked up by Microsoft Copilot, Google Gemini, Perplexity AI and ChatGPT, all of which provided what they apparently believed was serious information about symptoms and treatments.

The Swedish researcher wrote under a fictitious name, Lazljiv Izgubljenovic (I’m glad that’s not a real name), and called the disease Bixonimania. It is supposedly an eye condition caused by exposure to a computer screen, which is admittedly a concern we may all have.

Faux writer Izgubljenovic cited as sources: a professor at Starfleet Academy, another from the Professor Sideshow Bob Foundation, and one from the University of the Fellowship of the Ring. And, in plain language (which may have been Swedish, but plain nonetheless) the writer made it explicitly clear that the entire research and the disease were entirely fabricated.

He indicated that the 50 subjects tested for Bixonimania were non-existent.

When confronted with the troubling idea that an obvious hoax was treated as real by major AI platforms, the AI teams responded with various predictable answers: Our AI agent is better now than it used to be; No AI system is perfect; and—my favorite—For a medical condition, you should consult your doctor.

I am glad this made the news. Now… let the copycats begin. I think I might have a recurring case of the rare but highly contagious Kansas Microbial Flat-Brain, caused by exposure to wheat dust and smoke from pasture fires. Transmission among humans is airborne, odorless and tasteless.

Maybe I’ll write it up and post it here.

Number 2. Newsweek. AI-driven robot police dogs patrol streets of Atlanta.

This took longer to show up in the mainstream press than I thought it would.

Four-legged mechanical dogs, provided by private contractors, are now patrolling certain areas of the City of Atlanta. For the most part, they surveil apartment complexes, parking lots and construction sites. The Robo-dogs are fitted with cameras (360 degree view), lights and loudspeakers. They can sound sirens.

Presumably, there is a human remote operator supervising Fake Fido… we really need a workable name for this police related asset.

The Instagram video cited in the article shows a well-behaved mechanical critter trotting along gently. He can raise a paw and wave at passing cars. Cute and tame.

The report does not indicate how fast he can run, if he can jump, and whether future versions will have a pronounced snout with steel jaws and sharpened teeth.

A departmental spokesman, Helmut von der Brute, made this statement to put the surprised civilian populace at ease: “Der is nicht cause to vorry about the Künstlich hunds. Dey are oonlee derr fur your protekkshun and savetey. Dey vill neffer attackt ennyboddy hoo ist not brakink dah law.”

Number 1. NBC News. Surprise! Easter egg hunt reveals human skull among the prizes.

And I would be severely disappointed without a news item like this from the Land of Fruits and Nuts.

During an Easter egg hunt at De Forest Park in Long Beach, hunters came across an unusual trophy: a human skull half buried beside a woodland trail.

The discovery occurred during what was described as “an independent event,” which, if I were a police departmental spokesman, is how I would term a family-friendly school or church outing with pre-teens looking for candy surprises in plastic eggs.

“Mommy! Look what I found! Can I keep it for my room?”

The report does not indicate the presence or quantity of counselors or trauma therapists who may have summoned.

And thanks for joining The Alligator News Roundup for Friday, April 17, 2026. If you are not accustomed to using AI, perhaps you should give it a go. There are free versions readily available—in fact, unavoidable—online. Ask it something practical.

I told ChatGPT that I am allergic to mainstream news, and asked what that condition is called. It came up with “acute news fatigue syndrome,” and recommended that I limit my exposure.

I agree. The only real way to treat it effectively is to subscribe to the ANR.

Have a good weekend!

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