In New York City, the kids don’t go back to school until after Labor Day.

Which means we’re in the longest summer break of our lives. The city is just different- quieter, differently busy, people are outside but the parks are full, not the trains, not the streets. Emails take longer to be replied to, plans are pushed to post Labor Day, it’s just, chill. I am not complaining! Lots of long lazy weekend days.

A friend and I went to an art exhibit this weekend, we felt cultured. It was called The Ark, it was a lot of animals, and specifically a lot of birds- so you know. But for $18 and brunch after, I’d do it again.

And then this sculpture reminded me of a moment on a very bad, very good reality show where they’re taking care of one of their mom’s three-legged, hairless cats. (I’m talking Married At First Sight Season 20, and please DO NOT ASK ME ABOUT SEASON 10 AND HOW I WATCHED IT BY ACCIDENT AND HOW TERRIBLE, HOW DEPRESSING, HOW TRAGIC IT WAS BUT MY FRIENDS WERE WATCHING SEASON 20, NOT SEASON 10, WHICH I DIDN’T REALIZE UNTIL I HAD FINISHED AND I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK ABOUT IT WITH)

When culture and life meet. Sigh.

I did… have friends for dinner for the first time in a year!

Something happened in this apartment of mine that’s not totally mine (I’m renting for a year until my subletter moves out!): I moved the furniture around. And boom, it’s a whole new place. I’m someone who, as you know, loves to host, loves to feed you, loves to cook. And I haven’t been doing this over the last year- I’m in an apartment that I know to be temporary, I’ve cobbled furniture together over time, and I just only cared so much. I knew it wasn’t right, but I knew it would be over at some point soon.

And then my coach, Leanne, gave me permission to do something: to take time and move some things around. So I did. And then I bought this hourglass that makes me so happy but has yet to help me but I’m still hopeful. Next to the Pantone Cortado Cup I got from MLP.

I moved my big table- out of the nook where it had been nooked in, and felt so claustrophobic, and over to one side of the large living room. The TV switched walls, the couch turned with it, the shelves that greeted you upon entry moved to the nook and BOOM- I have an entirely new apartment. My cousins came by a few days later and finished up the job with me, because it takes a village, doesn’t it? And all of the sudden, I really liked my apartment. The place that I’ve been living in since September. aka ONE YEAR OF MEH. I was ready for people to come over, I made my high school cousins come see it- it feels DIFFERENT!

And considering how much cooking I do in Wisconsin, it’s always weird coming back and just not.

So when we were planning our next Canasta game, I did something that had yet to happen, yet I had done countless times in the past- I offered to host. That hour or two of movement propelled a whole new chapter forward! Wow. So anyway. Behold.

I wanted a watermelon to slice up for dessert, and had it in my cart at good old Whole Foods- until I realized I had to carry it home and I’m not Baby, carrying a watermelon for 25 minutes through the streets. So no watermelon was had. But.

I did cook some pretty good food.

Turkey meatballs -but baked- (we need our protein, ladies!), lemon spaghetti (by popular demand) and sauteed some broccoli- because we need our greens and one part plant at every meal. Sweets were there, too, don’t even worry about it.

We played some pretty good Canasta- minus a few interesting fuck-ups, by me, per usual. Lots of Dolly was listened to- we should all live our lives like her in order to be remembered so beautifully. A night was had, and I’m ready for more.

Who’s coming over next!! Games or not, I’m here to cook.

I mean it! WRITE ME BACK ALREADY!

Summer movies are a staple but I still haven’t seen The Odyssey or Spiderman- which in a past life would have happened already. I think. But I needed my popcorn fix; it’d been months since I’ve sat in one of those dark theaters with my nutritional yeast on my popcorn and my fingers, and I’d been craving it.

Tony came out. The one about Anthony Bourdain. And it’s less than 2 hours. Sold.

I saw it.

It’s about Anthony Bourdain, his first summer he worked in a kitchen, on Cape Cod. It could be a story about anyone, to be honest- just a kid, trying to figure his life out over a period of a few months in the 70s. One of my podcasts said it was like “a Touchstone movie made in summer in the 90s” and I kind of got it- it’s not a movie that we see a lot these days. Not much happens, a few months, a handful of characters, it ends and we know there’s so much more story to tell. Kind of.. nice. Almost makes me want to read Kitchen Confidential again. But also interesting to think about this “burn it all down” 19-year-old that the movie portrays with the Anthony that we all feel so much love for today. Food for thought. And I love food. So I’ll take it.

And I’ve been keeping up my summer reading streak. TV has been hard for me! I’m not mad! So I’m doing lots of reading this summer.

While I was in Wisconsin, my aunt/cousin Barbie sent me a text, possibly the best one of my life.

And I READ BOOKS, LIKE REAL BOOKS.

I kept tapping the page to turn it. It didn’t stop, throughout all four of them that I read. And yet. I think I read them differently, like more engaged, then I do when I’m reading on a screen. So I’m not totally back to book life, but I’m getting closer. It was a good moment.

I devoured the four that she brought me. It was a perfect week of actual books! In my hand! Trying not to get wet!

Here’s what I’ve been up to since the last reading report, including the real ones from the dream text:

All that Life Can Afford by Emily Everett: she grew up working class in Massachusetts, always dreamed of London, finally made it- and started working for a wealthy family. Some romance, a lot of class thinking, money, friends, what’s important and how you choose to live your life. Pretty good.

Buckeye by Patrick Ryan: two families over a few generations, through wars, through life in Ohio, choices made, relationships had and not. Better than my usual!

Phoebe Berman’s Gonna Lose It by Brooke Averick: I am not telling you to read this. The author is a podcaster who got famous and wrote this book, and it’s about a 30 year old trying to lose her virginity. I almost didn’t finish it but I did. So… not sure you need to.

That Last Carolina Summer by Karen White: another not my normal, about 2 families who have quite a history. Phoebe gets hit by lightning as a child, and has the gift of premonition- and runs away to the Pacific Northwest to not have to deal with these things. She comes home when her mom gets sick and finds her roots at home are still deep. Good.

Close Knit by Jenny Colgan: Jenny writes a lot of books about small time Scottish life. This one is about Gertie, who has been raised by her mom and a group of women, contentedly going about her life, until she gets a new job that opens her up to so much more. Lovely.

Where You’re Planted by Melanie Sweeney : Tansy, single mom and librarian. Jack, head of the local botanic garden, major budget issues, and working through his past heartbreak. The gardens and the library need each other, Jack and Tansy do, too? Cute.

Finders Keepers by Sarah Adler: two neighbors, friends, sweethearts from growing up find themselves each back at home at the same time, and back on the hunt for a treasure that the local eccentric gazillionire hid upon his death and was never found, almost 20 years ago. Another cute.

For the Record by Emma Lord: Enemies to lovers punk rock star vs pop princess are forced to work together again two years later. Can they figure it out? Another cute.

Ready or Not by Cara Bastone: She gets preggo by a one night stand, her bff has been trying and therefore not ready to support her through it, but her bff’s older brother Shep is suddenly around a lot to help. Cute ish.

Calamity Club I’m hearing good things about, so that’s gotta happen, Whistler, too. Anything else? What have you got, please send recs!

Here’s my full list of everything I’ve ever mentioned if you’re looking for something.

And if you have ideas- PLEASE SEND THEM TO ME! I need help!

That’s it from here- hope it’s a good day, hope it’s a good week, hope it’s a good almost end of summer. Thanks for being here, fill me in, come back to life!

xoxoxo

ally

I’m back in the big city! I can breathe different here. Phew.

It’s been 36 hours: I landed at 11:30pm on Sunday, and it tends to take me a few minutes, hours, days to feel like I’m back, but I’m so happy to be here.

So here’s a little bit of what’s happened since I’ve been back, a little catch up for all of us.

• Skyline love. Nothing like seeing Manhattan from outside of it. I love seeing the city come back into view as I’m driving home from the airport. Le deep sigh, happily.

• I reunited with Henry, my “not-my-dog” dog (see above pic). We went for a walk and I was thrilled to have my feet back on the pavement with my fave guy on a leash (life is easier this way, right?)

• I took a client shopping and was able to get my NY feet back on the streets- we shopped the Lower East Side and a little Soho and it was a wonderful way to reacclimate.

  • I tried on bags and this blazer that I’ve been lusting for at The Frankie Shop. Which do green do you prefer, and this blazer will be coming home with me at some point soon.

    

  • Someone needs to get this tie for someone in their life. They can’t complain about being asked to wear a tie if they have this one. It’s SO GOOD.

    

• I ate an italian sub from Parisi (it was turkey but sounds better that way) in a park and people watched. Happy girlie on a summer afternoon.

  

• Pedicure!!! These toes needed some love after 3 weeks of no shoes. You’re welcome to everyone that I’ll encounter starting now.

• I went grocery shopping and got my fave breakfast- Bulgarian yogurt and this granola. I add nuts, and it’s protein packed, you’re welcome. It’s so good, sweet and salty. I can’t eat bagels and cream cheese every day, I just can’t do it.

• SCREENS!! Have been put in place. (See last month)

• Pilates was completed! Stretching and moving does feel good, as I always hate to admit.

• 14,000 steps were taken (my phone also has to recombuluate)

• I looked out of my window at the skyline and the sunset as I unpacked (which usually takes me weeks *pats self on back*). As a sunrise girl on the east side of the lake in WI, it’s nice to watch the sun go down in NY.

  

How was your time away at the family lake house, you may ask?

Well, team, can I be honest with you? This trip - about 3 1/2 weeks- it was every emotion under the sun. Fun. Fulfilling. Overwhelming. Frustrating. I was guilty and embarrassed (I AM NOT PERFECT ALL OF THE TIME). At times I felt exposed. Excluded. Included. Optimistic. Hopeful. Peaceful. Accepted. Powerless. Curious. Playful. Awed. Judgmental. Provoked. Excited. Amazed. Thankful. Disillusioned. Perplexed. Happy. ALL OF THE FEELINGS.

Thank you to cousin Amanda for sharing her feelings wheel, my brother and I really appreciated it, and so did this post. I did not come up with all of these on my own, but I did feel them all at some point in this trip. And, please note, I both started and ended this vacation by having my period. So do with that what you will.

This summer at the lake was all of the things. We were celebrating 100 years of this crazy, wonderful family choosing to come spend time in this vaguely magical place. Every summer, every weekend. For 100 years. You can understand the awe, the amazement, the optimism (see how good I am at that wheel?)- but you can also kind of understand frustration and anger and how these can come into play too, if you had to (chose to!) hang out with your extended family every weekend for this long. My whole life long. Everyone’s whole life long who was born into this family.

Overall- it was wonderful. We (I) are so lucky. Friends were there who are family at this point- this is a long life and we’ve been together for so much of it.

Turns out, as a family, we really like our cousins- we don’t just love them. We spent weeks together and it’s never enough. Even when I’m ready to come home, I’m not. Always bittersweet to leave these people.

We cooked (so many pasta shots that I won’t share) and barbecued and chopped and cleaned up, constantly. We swam. They took me paddle boarding on Lake Michigan that we’re perched on- I would go and sit down there every morning contemplate this huge body of water, what’s going on underneath??- and encouraged me to dip my whole self (because by now I think we all understand that this is not the sort of thing that I would ever do on my own). We jabbered a lot. We had nightcaps of bourbon and weed. The humidity was unending, the bathing suits never quite dried, the pages of the actual books I read (!!!!) felt so thin from the damp.

I always like to take in the nature for my last couple of days before I head out, and this summer was no exception. I observed a lot beautiful flowers, and also lots of insects (and handled myself beautifully, don’t worry).

I watched a butterfly get railed (see below). I saw the biggest spider that I’ve ever seen (see above). I saw bees bigger than I’m used to. AND I STAYED CALM. This is not a pigeon in your apartment and turns out, much less intense and much more fulfilling.

But man am I happy to get back to New York City. Life! Give me my kind of nature! That of the city variety. Just keep it outside, please and thank you.

Hope it’s a good summer, hope college drop offs are going as well as they can (I didn’t speak the entire drive to school my freshman year), hope back to school has been fun and not stressy, and I hope that you’re enjoying not needing a jacket to wear!

Thanks for being here, thanks for making it this far!!

You know I appreciate you!

xoxoxoxo

ally

I’m really in summer mode - a week and a half into my time here.

Shoes have been barely been worn. I’m writing in a wet bathing suit. The mornings involve lake time. Reading is happening, Bravo is not (GASP!!). And then I saw the NY Times article on Jack Johnson and the guitar music started strumming in my head (and playing immediately on my Spotify). And I realized that this is a good thing. Slowing down when you can.

I’m so grateful for this; true summer- as I imagine it, at least.

Long, mostly lazy days, where the most pressing issue is the next meal. Bathing suits staying on longer than they should. Watermelon juice dripping down the chin. Summer nights- no layers needed! Grass in my feet. Did I remember to brush my teeth today?

I’m so aware of how lucky I am to even have a day of this feeling- there are people in detention centers, being separated from their families, as we speak- but I gotta take it one day at a time, remember life is for living, and this is where I am. Be where your feet are, or something like that.

So, I’m here for summer vibes. The stars last night were epic. I got to talk to the farmer who picked my watermelon yesterday. The corn is coming in by the bushel. Cold beers, afternoon Diet Cokes, classic rock on the speakers, if not Jack Johnson. Hot dogs on the grill. Family. Lucky Girl!

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One of my fave things to do when I’m in Wisconsin on my summer break is spend time at a big Target. I don’t mean just any store, I’m talking about a BIG Target- the kind we don’t have in the city. I’m not talking essentials, or school supplies. I’m talking the clearance rack, I’m talking about this summer’s collab.

Rosie Assoulin x Target. Am I a huge fan? No. Do I love a Target Collab? Yes. Do the Wisco stores get a good selection of product? Meh. The first Target that I visited … did not hit. My second Target opportunity: score.

Love the colors, love an oversized button down (forever 31?) not sure that the rest was for me?

I think I really like the pants! Specifically, it’s the blue at the bottom that’s getting me.

The pink button down- I’m here for it- the detail on the pocket in particular, and I don’t have a pink one in the repertoire. Great addition.

The green shirt- I didn’t get it but it was in my cart and the color was so good that I may have to go back for a take 2.

I did grab this sarong- I love the idea of tying it around my waist in a swimsuit (usually this one), using it like a blanket for a park moment (I love nature!), kind of giving turkish towel if you know what I mean.

Aside from that - I’m understanding that, as long as I’m here, I don’t really need anything, clothes wise. This is the place where all of my old favorites come to die- I’m constantly debating between favorite old sweatpants, all with holes, or kaftans with stains that we don’t need to get into, or old big button downs that I’ve been accumulating over the years, and the softest, holey, tshirts and sweatshirts.

I knew as soon as I paid $50 to check my suitcase that… I didn’t need anything in it. I did it anyway. And Target and their clearance rack will always have some space in my closet.

Thifting and vintage shopping also tickle my fancy during these months. Kitchen things are what I’m thinking about mostly, that’s where I’m spending my time and energy.

I want tasting spoons for the kitchen, an enamel dutch oven or big pot (it doesn’t have to be Le Creuset but I’d take one), a cast iron pan- I’m thinking garage sales, estate sales, maybe some Facebook marketplace action. It’s great to be on the lookout for specific things. Keeps you from buying the shit you don’t actually need.

And I need a new bike! I had bought a bike at a garage sale, Summer 2020- for $75! I’m a bargain!- and it went missing over the winter. Not a tragedy per se, but. It was my exit strategy, my escape route, my ticket to downtown, my moment of freedom gliding down the street. And she was classic, chic, matched my sandals. I even bought her a lock. Momma needs a new one.

I want to buy these things but they don’t need to be new, no need to add to the slush pile- get me to Elkhorn Flea! Or anywhere with some tables covered in someone else’s stuff. It gives me a reason to peruse, not buying just to buy.

Dreams can come true- actually. Give me a flea market and a purpose and I’m the happiest you can imagine. Summer vibes at their best.

I cooked a little bit this week:

Dad’s birthday! He eats…. simply, let’s say.

So I made some Smitten Kitchen bolognese and it was… delish. The beef was Grama Grass if you’re in Colorado- highly recommend.

Added some garlic bread from the same place- minus the cheese!-, sauteed broccoli with butter because why not. And we had a good ‘ol time.

Dessert was donuts and an O & H Kringle, super Racine-style, we go blueberry often, as we did for the big party- but Cinnamon Roll is also a must-try favorite. Ice cream was eaten on plates. Candles went into a fried and glazed croissant (can’t recommend this one enough holy shit).

A mini party was had, bellies were full, goodnights were said. #summerbirthdays

And I did make the NYTimes Zucchini Parm that I’d mentioned last week. And it was as good as I remembered. We did a simple pasta with cherry tomatoes, avo oil (mom can’t do olive, remember?) and garlic, too. Simple, easy, fucking yum.

My cousins sous-vide some steak from Costco and you guys, holy shit was it good.

And they made these little smashed potatoes that I think he boiled first and roasted next- holy moly do I wish I had the patience to make 2 -step potatoes because yes please.

Simple, delicious food. Pinch me!

The other thing about this time is FAMILY. And I love to bitch about them, I think you may know? But I’m so glad we’re all here together, I’m so grateful for this crazy clan, you go through so much life with these people.

We’ve been going through old pictures, I’ll share them with you I promise (keep scrolling and you’re welcome), and so much LIFE has taken place, it’s making me appreciate time and life and people. I keep telling you that it’s the 100th anniversary of this crazy lake house, and it’s so wild when you can pull back and think of the mundanity of a long life, and that you spend it with the same people and how we go through so many things with them. Just like wow.

LAST THING. IT GETS BETTER. Some old pics.

(yes that’s me with my brother who now is sleeping in a camper van for a month for fun and not working on Wall St). I think I’ve recovered since this was taken.

Can you even find me in this one below? Life gets better!!!

This is for the nerds, they’re going to be ok!

Thanks for being here, thanks for reading, thanks for it all

happy summering!

appreciate you!

xoxo

ally

I made it to Wisconsin! Summer! Land of … what used to be farms that are now turning to tracts of housing and a data center! As my cousin Matty pointed out, this construction and taking over of farmland is really ruining our lake house vibe. Soon I won’t have a farm stand to find, and isn’t that half the point? Come on, capitalism! But this summer, we still do. And so we continue forward.

So anyway- when I talk Wisconsin, I’m talking about my family’s lake house, we call it Racine, even though the city is Racine- therefore it’s confusing to everyone else. Aka Holleb’s Acres, we are in the midst of our 100th summer as a family here. It’s truly confounding, it’s spectacular, it’s amazing, it’s annoying, it’s predictable, it’s gorgeous. What started as 2 brothers bringing their families to the lake to escape summer in the city has continued, grown, expanded, continued - miraculously- for 100 summers. Like, what!? Nothing lasts that long! The tree has a lot more branches. As of this summer, we’re at 60+ people. That’s a lot of mouths to potentially feed.

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And within 7 minutes of arriving here- this place where I’ve spent all 49 summers of my life in one way or another- I am right back in it, as though I woke up here yesterday and all the days before, not that I’ve been gone for 11 months. The wiring fired right back up.

Too many people in one very small kitchen, the same old frustrations, simmering under the surface. An already loud family being on top of each other day in, day out (sharing one bathroom!) and eating 3 meals a day together- this leads to a lot of spirited debate. The debate, however, tends about food and mainly food. Constantly. And we get “excited” about more than food, trust me. But food is the ruling party here.

I love it. I bitch, I moan, I whine, I roll my eyes, I get involved, I apologize for it later. And then I get to cooking- some of my best cooking happens when I’m here. There is a constantly willing audience of people to feed. There’s a dirty bucket we use for composting. I always have to figure out a kosher salt situation, my mom insists on keeping it in a shaker (SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP). She’s allergic to olive oil, so we gotta meander over to avocado for these few weeks. The fridge door doesn’t open totally. Dad keeps his butter in a butter bell (shout out Laura Ingalls!) to keep it soft and the water MUST remain at 1/3” to keep the butter right. When it’s hot and the fan is on, the burners on the stove are impacted- and sometimes you need a lighter to light the burners, but not all the times. The hot water kettle whistles for far longer than anyone but my dad would like. We’re totally great! Everything is awesome! Specifically, the food. It’s really good, I make sure of it.

So here’s what I’ve been up to, what’s been keeping me sane, getting me by.

Feels so summer, you know?

The menus.

Night 1. Dinner for 10.

• Beef Tenderloin (grilled, simple, with salt) plus a few burgers- JUST IN CASE.

• Grilled Asparagus (grilled, simple, avo oil and salt)

• Frozen Fries (These are my faves, it’s basically McDonald’s on your table)

• Grilled Corn (new, lazy and perfect way of grilling corn- just throw it on the grill, fully in the husk, for about 12-14 minutes. That’s it. No Tik Tok trends, just corn)

• 5 pints of different flavors of ice cream on the table for dessert, a bunch of spoons and bowls thrown on, everyone was their happiest selves. Highly recommend. Peanut butter chocolate was the winner, which was shocking to me, not my vibe- but it was gone, empty, cleaned out, being asked for after it was gone. Noted.

The negotiations that I’d mentioned as soon as my feet hit the ground- it was this meal. A couple of households coming together for dinner, who would bring what, what did have, what did we need. We were off to a good start.

I was just getting warmed up. Quick trip to the farm stand where we’re not sure that they’re growing the things but they’re sure good at selling it and I was ready to rock and roll.

Day 2, breakfast. My favorite food in the world.

TOMATOES ARE IN SEASON.

I’m not the biggest of tomato girlies, but a nice, big, in season tomato? Yes please. Add kosher salt, imperative. And the best way to eat them in my book? Sliced thick, sprinkled with salt, on a bagel with scallion cream cheese. Red onion doesn’t hurt, but when the tomatoes are this good, you don’t really need much else. I watch chefs eat tomato sandwiches on beautiful bread with a slather of mayo- this is my take. And I’ll eat it every day that I’m here. ‘tis the season.

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Night 2. The pig roast.

We, as a large family group, are schooled at eating potluck style, we’ve been doing it for years. Everyone knows what to bring, how much, and in spite of always worrying, we are always more than overloaded. This night was one of those dinners- we all eat together, family style in the biggest, truest way.

There was a pig, it was smoked, over the coals, all day, starting around 6am. Not by me; I had nothing to do with it. I am a cheerful supporter, but I do not have what it takes to handle something of this magnitude. Luckily, there are others who willingly take this on, and we say thank you to them. For the food, the vibes, the memories.

It was a happening, it was a hang, the internal temperature was constantly being monitored, the kids were all running by and around, I’m sure a frisbee or two were thrown. Beers were definitely consumed. This was the main event.

My little family, we brought the chicken - for the non pig eaters. My mom was proud, and she got a lot of love on this chicken that was eventually BBQ’d- it fed us for the next 2 days. She asked me to take this picture.

I doubled what is now officially in the rotation, Zucchini Butter Pasta from Smitten Kitchen- because it was delicious, because butter, because garlic, because of whatever happens to zucchini when you cook it down with those two things.

We had a big spread- the proteins, mac & cheese, salads, other pastas, beautiful slaws, a ton of pies and ice cream for dessert. We do it right. (mine is the big bowl next to the mac).

Back to my fave new pasta- it is so delicious, you must attempt. So easy, too. Was it the third cavatelli pasta on the table? Yes. Could I have used a different shape? Lesson learned.

I will attempt the NYT version at some point, but the Smitten Kitchen one is a winner. I’ve been told multiple times that it was the best thing on the table that night, and that’s all I need in life, turns out. Positive feedback goes a long way.

Night 3 is when I started to hit my stride. I’m feeling it, I’m getting my groove on. Dinner for 9.

The menu:

• Burgers for those who required it

• Orzo with tomatoes.

  I’d saved this NYT recipe for Burst Cherry Tomato Orzo a few weeks back, it was on the brain, and I will be making it again, because fuck yes it was good, it deserves those 5 stars.

  I was excited to get it going. And then, I started boiling the tomatoes, per the recipe? And I was like, what the hell is going on here? But I trusted the recipe, the NYT does not tend to disappoint. And 10 minutes later, I felt better, and 10 minutes after that, I knew I had another recipe in the rotation. It was silky, it was salty, it was creamy, it was GOOD. Seconds were had, very little was left. The sign of a successful dish in these parts. Again- all I need.

• Grilled Cabbage with Walnuts and Parm - another Smitten Kitchen go-to for years now, we all know and love it.

When I’m at the lake, I love to grill a vegetable. And getting a good char on a nice wedge of cabbage is like nothing else I can think of- this time brother Josh did the honors and he did it beautifully. And we got a whole tray of it. Top it with this “sauce” of walnuts-garlic-lemon-oil and some parm over the top of it all and BOOM you have a very happy table. The leftovers barely lasted a day.

Also on the table:

• String Beans, straight from the farm- saute in butter with sliced shallots and salt. Done, done and done - and they’re gone, too.

• More corn, another dozen ears, same as the night before. ‘tis the season and I’m not sick of it yet.

• Tomato salad by Blanche rounded out the table

• More ice cream for dessert because when is that the wrong answer.

A very happy family at this table. Mostly full of vegetables.

Excited to just be getting started on my cooking streak.

Thinking more tomatoes and zucchini tonight- most likely going to be NYT Zucchini Parmesan, another winner. 3 ingredients. So simple. So delicious. I’ll keep you posted.

I’m a NYTimes and Smitten Kitchen recipe girlie, clearly- but where else do you like to go for your recipes? I have 2 huge binders full of recipes that I’d torn out of magazines over the years (REMEMBER THOSE!??) that I’m slowly starting to look through for inspo- and I’d love more ideas please and thank you.

Back on the reading bullshit, and thinking about lake houses and lakes will there be water for much longer?

• Maine Characters. It was ok, good enough- two sisters learn the other exists, not quite the Parent Trap, summer at the lake, a little love and heartbreak, a lot of sisterly bonding and learning and lake talk.

• The Paris Match: this was cute! I love Paris! A wedding! The ex-sister in law, the best man! Will they or won’t they? Easy reading.

• Main Character Energy : another cutie. She’s feeling stuck. Her beloved aunt passes away and sends her on an adventure. To France. Where her life might unfold. If she lets it.

• Go Gentle: written by the author of Where’d You Go Bernadette, which I’m pretty sure we’ve all read by now but if not, give it a go, too. The main character an older woman, a philosopher, living in New York, working for a wealthy family, and finds herself in quite the adventure. Not my favorite of Maria’s books but I was into it enough to tell you about it here.

Any recs?

What are you cooking, what are you eating, reading, what are you up to?

Tell me something interesting! If you’re a midwest friend, let’s hang out!

Thanks, per usual, for being here, for making it this far, for reading this at all. I appreciate you.

xoxo

ally

I don’t know how well we know each other, but a well known fact about me is that I am terrified of birds. Ironic considering I love to live in places with many pigeons. As I’ve discussed at length in this substack, I am a city girl. NYC is my JAM. But we have a lot of pigeons in this town. Same issue when I lived in Paris, and in Chicago, and this is just something that, over the years, I’ve come to terms with. I blame this one a very buried memory that involved me at a nature preserve as a kid, and a bird flapping in or near my face. I’m sure it felt like chaos. I have never quite recovered.

I have been asked if I was having a seizure in response to my arm-flapping freakout due to a pigeon coming too close to me on the street, I’ve almost knocked my grandfather over when we were walking and there was a wing flap that scared me, and one of my bffs is the literal best and spots them before me when we’re out walking, and artfully helps me dodge them, either by putting herself in between me and the rats with wings, or by rerouting us completely. I truly never feel as seen or loved as when she does that, I talk about it often, and I guess it’s a love language of it’s own for me at this point. I am constantly avoiding these neighbors of mine in streets, sidewalks, parks and even… in my apartment.

LE SIGH. You read that right.

The day started out like any other. It was a nice day, I had the windows open, a couple were open pretty wide as I am wont to do. I had my coffee, read some news, then I took myself and my computer to a coffee shop to do some work, and I was very productive. I was so proud! I wrote last week’s Substack, now that I think of it. All was great.

I came home and started doing some stuff around the apartment- nothing much to tell you, I actually don’t even remember what it was. After having been home for about an hour, I guess I had to go to the bathroom. Because I headed to the back of the apartment where my bedroom and bathroom are. And my life changed completely. I wasn’t alone. My worst fear had come true.

A pigeon was in my apartment.

There was a pigeon in the hallway, in between me and my bathroom.

THERE WAS A PIGEON IN MY APARTMENT.

To know me is to know that I screamed. Shrieked, most likely.

I scared myself, and I scared the bird too, because it took off. I think I actually scared him shitless, more on that in a minute. I heard a thump- in the excitement I think it flew into the glass of the window. I say “I think” because there was no way in hell I was going in to check for myself. All I knew is that it wasn’t leaving. I heard some flapping in my room (that’s the worst part of the bird situation for me- it’s the flapping. The unpredictability of where that thing is going to go once the flapping starts- I’m feeling my chest tighten just typing this out.) so I knew it was still there. It would get quiet. I’d make a noise. More flapping. And then it was quiet quiet. Was he gone? I couldn’t tell- but there was no way I’d be the one to turn the corner and look.

I had to go next door to ask for help. Reader, this neighbor happens to be my cousins’ apartment- lucky me. The same cousins who are constantly reminding me to close my windows because there are birds sitting outside my windows when they’re open. I really didn’t want to go there, to tell them what I had done. This was all my fault! I hate admitting when I’m wrong, when I messed up. And I did this! No one but me could be blamed! But I had to, I couldn’t face this alone. And cousin Shira, always the brave one, came in, poked her head around the corner… and there he was. The pigeon. Still there. Probably dazed from the hit to the glass. Just there. Not doing much. But not leaving, that’s for sure.

Out we go again- we got the fuck out of that apartment fast once we’d confirmed my visitor hadn’t yet departed. Thank goodness I live in a building with an on-site maintenance office and a team of people, always someone around. I’ve felt this before - grateful for this team- but never like I did that day. Reason 7,457 why I never want to live in a house ever again: see snow removal and toilet issues, adds bird removal. I went downstairs and asked for help. Thank goodness- once I was downstairs, I had someone to commiserate with, somewhere safe to wait it out, and knowing there was help on the way and that this ordeal would be over soon? PRICELESS.

Soon, my knights in shining armor strode through the lobby. Carrying a very small broom? The maintenance guys, my heroes, my team who don’t wear capes. A few months ago, they had to literally remove my toilet from my apartment to remove a tube of cream that had stopped it up. I love these men. Specifically our grizzled old veteran Barrington; when I saw him, I knew that he would make sure I would not have a visitor for much longer. The end was in sight.

Back up we went to the apartment- “Stay outside, lady” I was told, which wasn’t a problem, I was going to do that anyway. A couple of minutes later they came back out- all was done. “All you had to do was get it into the bathroom, close the door, and open the window” said the bravest man ever to walk the earth. Sure, next time I’ll be sure to do that.

This whole scene took 10, maybe 15 minutes total? And when I went to assess the damage, well, team, it wasn’t awesome. I mean, it could have been worse, sure- but it definitely wasn’t great. The shit was mostly in my room. Including in the drawers that you know I definitely didn’t close that day, just like I didn’t close that window. Meaning my clothes that were in the open drawers- impacted. My bed- impacted. The floor of my little hall- fully impacted. Even the kitchen saw a little action, too. He did not hit my rug though- thank you so very much! This bird wanted me to learn my lesson.

Laundry was done, immediately. In hot water, not cold. After I talked myself out of throwing it all away. A walk was went on, breaths were taken. My parents had quite the chuckle. My friends were appropriately horrified for me.

A stiff drink finally helped me calm down, a klonopin was had for sleep, and then somehow- I made it through the night. In the bed that the terrified bird seemed to have dropped some shit on mid-flight. (LAUNDRY WAS DONE. HOT WATER WAS USED).

I survived. So did my stuff. It was the next day, I’d made it. My room was no worse for the wear. If you hadn’t been there for the “incident”, you’d never know that I had a guest.

I’m kind of proud of myself for having the wherewithal to breathe through this, realize that it was pretty terrible, my worst fear come to life, and… it wasn’t actually that serious.

Everyone hears this story and says exactly what I’d have said as of last week “I’d move”. Like honestly, it sounds terrible, horrible, disgusting. I get it. But move? No way, I was too tired for that, I just wanted to go home and go to bed, turns out. All talk, not an ounce of action. They make cleaners with bleach for that.

I’m still traumatized. I feel like me and the pigeons outside, we had come to a detente over the last few years, I could handle them better than ever. Now I have most definitely taken a few steps back. I’m looking around wondering- are you my pigeon? I am back to flinching as they near more than I have in quite some time. I will survive, I will calm down. I hope my pigeon will, too.

I think a story like this could make a great children’s book, if anyone’s looking for a topic? What was that pigeon thinking of the bottles on my dresser, the q-tips that were sitting there. Did it like my pink chair? What did it think of a bathtub, had it seen one before?

It’s been a week and I still have phantom flapping anxiety- a syndrome that I just made up- when I think about this bird flying in my room and flapping everywhere and my chest pulls- and then the moment passes, it’s another day, there’s coffee to be had, emails to respond to, substacks to be written.

A few days before “the incident” as it shall be known from this day forward, I was fed a video of Robert Irwin (son of Crocodile Hunter Steve, sorry if you knew that already) talking about pigeons being the recipients of unfair hate. I had listened to his take prior to my guest arriving. It was food for thought, truly! We all live here, we all deserve this life, pigeons have had to adapt over time as we’ve taken over their habitats, or brought them places they were never intended to be, and they help in the ecosystem of the big city (they must help somehow, right?). It vibes with my empathetic side. I actually watched a pigeon in the park the next day, and tried to think it was beautiful. Progress!

So I think I was moderately prepared for “the incident”. I mean, I wasn’t- I don’t know if you ever could be. But I am telling myself that I was. And now I’m being fed all the content about these rats with wings plus more undesirables. Maybe, one day, I’ll come around. Maybe.

One of my fave aspects of my lifetime fear of birds is that years ago, pre-Covid maybe? - my brother got me a lifetime membership to a group called Birds Aren’t Real.

Are you familiar?

They’re essentially peddling a fake conspiracy theory, and their thesis is that all birds are actually drones used by the government to spy on its citizens. Read more here and here.

They’ve done such a good job promoting their cause (or people are such conspiracy seekers) that they’ve been featured on news programs, like ON THE NEWS, interviewed by people who didn’t know this was fake. Here’s the 60 Minutes story on their fake movement so you recognize just how legitimate a thing I am telling you about. Love their merch, have fun doing this random deep dive.

I haven’t been reading so much- it’s not my fault. LOVE ISLAND DID THIS TO ME.

I love this show. Love Island US is done, but my UK friends are still hanging out, and judge me all you want, jerks, I still look forward to seeing my friends most nights, parasocial relationships FTW!

I’m not recommending you watch, per se. But if you do- you’re in good company and let’s discuss.

I already miss the World Cup. That was fucking awesome. Argentina is the worst!! I’m up to speed now! Do I now have to wait ‘til the US Open, tennis version? What are we doing with ourselves these days, post-soccer?

Are you watching anything else good, do you have time? Please share!

I want to see the Odyssey! Thoughts?

I’m headed to Wisconsin this weekend for a few weeks and am excited for tomatoes and fresh vegetables and grass and bare feet and screened in porches. I have like 4 or 5 books on my shelf right now I hope at least one of them is worth telling you about. I see puzzles in my future. Wet bathing suits on a clothing line. Watermelon. Summer!

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Closing out: went for a walk with the cousins on the west side and… it is the best side. We don’t have sunsets on our end. This was a great one.

xoxox

ally

thanks for being here, thanks for making it this far, thanks for being my friend in spite of being a person who leaves her windows open in new york city with no screens.

I also put time and energy into it. All that energy that you put towards your partners and kids? I get to give it to my chosen people. And I’ve made them all over the place, all over the years. But you know the saying (is it a saying?) old friends are the best ones?

Case in point. This past weekend. Me and my some of my college roommates, all NY-based, so we see each other a nice amount. We went to stay at one of their houses in Cape Cod. We haven’t travelled - or spent a few full days together - like this since our 40th birthday trip? I think that’s right? Everyone’s got families, kids, and, crucially, no one had a beach house of their own- til now (thank you very much for all of your hard work, getting older doesn’t totally suck).

Summer ‘26 baby. Summer House, the show! Knicks! 250th! World Cup! Beach houses of our own!

(PS did you read the article about staying at your parents beach house? it’s incredibly niche and a must read for many)

These girls, we have known each other for 30+ years, it’s truly wild that we are that kind of old, when did this happen exactly? As the days went on over this weekend, we annoyed each other- by being our normal selves. We made each other laugh- by being our normal selves. We sat quietly (I tried!) scrolling, reading, working - by being our normal selves. We knew how to order, when to exercise, who likes what, when we needed extra salads, all the things.

It was a wonderful few days, it more than filled my cup. We laughed, some of us talked -truly- nonstop, we bought too much fudge, we almost finished this puzzle, we talked about so many random people from college. All the things you should do in a few days at the beach with your old friends.

We didn’t have ice cream. We did eat clams and fish and corn and and chicken fingers and nachos (you can’t eat seafood at EVERY meal) and saw seals and went to the beach.

These people KNOW me, you know? We know each other’s parents and siblings, we were with them when we were all figuring it out (it feels like I still am and they’ve all cracked the code), we know all the ex-boyfriends, we know all the old roommates. The names that we were coming up with and googling - people we knew in the 90s!- were truly spectacular considering I couldn’t tell you what I did yesterday (lunch with a “new” friend (10+years new) and dinner with more old friends! I just had to think about it for a minute).

Needless to say, I love these people very much, they’re a version of home, I slept gorgeously knowing we had this time, that I got to wake up to them for a few days. LUCKY GIRL!

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The highlight of this weekend? Aside from me making them spend a good 30 minutes going through a powerpoint I found on Reddit explaining the theory behind Gaylor or Kaylor (aka Taylor Swift and Karlie Kloss were once very much in love) that might have made someone cry?

But back to the actual highlight-

We watched Summer Catch.

A truly terrible wonderful movie that takes place on Cape Cod, about the Cape Cod League, where college baseball players come for the summer to play, stay with local families, and pro scouts to come scout them. Who knew this was a real thing? I did not.

This movie stars Freddie Prinze, Jr and Jessica Biel (and Brittany Murphy’s knees in a surprising turn?) plus every other actor you’ve never thought of. The movie ended and this is when the real highlight happened.

And then, the actual second half to the movie. We went to watch a real live Cape Cod League baseball game, aka we watched the movie come to life.

PRIMO MOVE.

Did you know that set-jetting is becoming a thing- thanks to White Lotus, even though it’s probably been going on forever?

It’s where you travel to visit a location from a tv show or movie. I didn’t know this term until this morning myself. And we set-jetted this weekend because we tend to know what’s up before the rest of the world. I was born cool. See below when I question my parentage.

One of the best things to do in the summer- get thee to a minor league baseball game, even if you didn’t see a movie about it. You’ll piss next to a player. The hotdogs will be reasonably priced. Parking will not be a problem, ticket prices won’t give you a heart attack. And you’ll come to love the locals, the players, the team members, who love these little teams so so much. COMMUNITY!

And then go home and watch Bull Durham if Summer Catch isn’t your thing.

It’s a better movie, anyway.

Summer Catch led to us the next baseball movie that we watched this weekend. Stealing Home.

Remember that one, with Jodie Foster and Mark Harmon?

David Foster does if you don’t, we think he is the royalty check in this film.

This movie left us with more questions than answers, to be honest. But we laughed! Which is what it’s all about anyway

There’s a reason that I’m telling you about this-

Were you aware of my questionable parentage? That I once accused my mom of having an affair with Harold Ramis, another co-star of the movie?

I was 40 at this point, but found this video of me looking like this and HOW COULD I NOT WONDER.

The weekend ended.

I came home and, because I missed my friends so much already, I started watching the new show on Peacock based on Elin Hildebrand’s book, The Five Star Weekend.

More friends, both old and new!

It takes place on Nantucket (I was basically just there, it’s a hop, skip and a jump from the Cape), about a woman who invites 5 different friends from different phases of her life to come for a weekend after her husband passes away (I was basically on a similar girls’ weekend). Each friend is from a different chapter of her life.

I tried to think of my list- it would be a lot more than 5 people.

I have friends I’d want to bring from growing up, from high school, from college. From my first job in my 20s (Eileen!), to my next chapter when I moved back to Chicago (bess & loie! Trunk Club!) and made new wonderful friends in my 30s, and then the new ones when I came back to NYC, (NOLA too!) and spent my 40s still figuring life out. I’ve made some of my best friends 30+ years ago, and I made some of them in the last 15-20 year bucket, too.

The list would be long- I’m not sure how I’d do it! It would be a weekend-to-weekend thing, rather than have you all at once, to optimize my time with everyone. I’ve got it sorted. Now I just need the house.

Who would you include, and more importantly, am I on your list? I just want to be included. I’m a great guest. I want to be everyone’s favorite, and I want to be invited, even if I probably won’t come. I cook, I clean, I’ll talk to anyone you need me to keep occupied, I’ll also entertain myself. So just think about it, may I please be invitee?

No big deal, nothing a little therapy can’t fix, right?

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And then, last on the “friends” tour of the day- I listened to an interview with Olivia Wilde about her new movie, The Invite.

I told you about the movie last week, I really liked it! It’s about 2 couples, newish neighbors, at a dinner party in one of their apartments. Did I leave a bit relieved to not be married? Yes.

Yet- in the interview, Olivia brought it back to friends- not the romantic relationships that I walked away thinking about, but instead how the two couples came to be, the friends we make later in life, where we get to choose what they see about us, and how we rarely invite new people over and how it makes us feel so exposed when we do- and I was like YES! The hostess in the film was so stressed about making it nice, about what these new people would see in their apartment, spent too much money on the food, flowers, etc- things we can all relate to.

A new friend is still information gathering- if they came over, they’d see things we might not want them to see, make assumptions about me, judgements, whatever. And in the same podcast, one of the hosts referred to friendships as we age as being more “modular” - come hang out for 2 hours here, rather than a whole night turning into something the next day turning into the next night, as time bled together with your friends when we were younger versions of ourselves.

It’s all so interesting, such food for thought, and I’m so grateful to all of the faces - the many friends- that I’m thinking of as I type. I hope (and think) you’ll know who you are.are I’ll still have you over and won’t be too stressed about it- I promise. To new friends becoming old ones!

Soccer made me a new friend, my Senegalese cab driver! He was wearing a jersey for his team that day, and we talked the whole ride (I make friends wherever I go, it’s a family trait) and by the end he was telling me about his coma, his kids, and why it’s important to talk to your family every day- he talks to his 7 siblings in Senegal daily. We had such a nice ride!

So I texted my brother immediately- bonjour. Lucky over here.

I’ve gotten very into the World Cup- and thinking about it being every 4 years is like a new person encountering it each time. Like where was I four years ago, how did this not mean more to me then? What did I used to care about that this didn’t matter?

And then I’m thinking, as I’m watching some penalty kicks, that the ENTIRE WORLD IN THIS ONE MOMENT HAS IT’S EYES ON THESE 2 MEN. It’s kind of crazy to contemplate. More than the Knicks, more than a kicker in the Super Bowl. It’s hard to wrap my head around. So crazy so fun.

I’m in the throes and sad it’s almost over, I just got here, you know?

I know a lot of you are mourning Wimbledon and World Cup- I’m mourning those plus Love Island! What will I do with myself? Who was I in May?? What’s the plan, where are we all meeting next?

Ok enough out of me.

happy summer!! It’s finally here, I’m finally feeling it!

I have a lot of books on my shelf to read and share, a lot of wandering around and pictures to take- let me know what you want to hear from me!

thanks for being here, thanks for making it this far

say hey to someone you love! xoxo

ally

I can’t help but notice that I’ve been feeling a bit lighter over the last couple of months. And that’s weird. Things have gotten worse, not better, right? But I’ve been consumed by positive news content - World Cup tourists, the Knicks took up a solid month of pure GOOD, Love Island has been distracting me for many hours at a time (this is not a recommendation, per se). It means I haven’t been doing my usual doomscrolling, and you know what? Life can be beautiful! (and I’m not discounting horomones and Lexipro, too!).

As we know, I consume a lot of Bravo, I love some good/bad reality TV, and I love a good walk with a podcast. And it finally being summer means better weather, more walking, and more time for podcasts. And Bravo being on a lull (aka Summer House scandal wiped me out and Rhode Island is done - and that is a recommendation, by the way) plus World Cup content got me thinking about the 250th anniversary of our country. So I listened to some pods about our this history of the US of A rather than the US of Bravo. And I left feeling- more optimistic! What a feeling!

As I’ve mentioned here before- someone had tweeted “If you want to hate the US, listen to the news. If you want to love it, drive across it.” This + World Cup content + some perspective (aka a news/social media diet) = refreshing!

I’m remembering that this country is big - like huge- so consensus is never a given. And that we’ve never been perfect. And that we’re still essentially a teenager when we look at how old other countries are. And that, per Heather Cox Richardson, every year since our founding our country has done wonderful things, and every single year since our founding our country has done terrible things. We are all the things. We are people, and we’re all flawed in our own ways. We can focus where we choose, and also looking at history and having perspective is a wonderful way to digest current times.

We as a person, and as a country, are constantly evolving, we are growing, morphing, expanding, contracting- always. This big experiment is just that- and we’re learning every day. Good things happen, bad things happen. I have lovely encounters with strangers every single day. People tend to be wonderful.

Momentum swings happen. Progressives start to sound like conservatives and vice versa. The Democratic Party in the 1950s were a majority white southerners who opposed civil rights; today it’s the big tent party. I believed things in my teens and 20s that I’ve evolved my thinking on as I near 50. You catch my drift. I’m not perfect, neither is this place. USA! USA!

It’s all helping me feel a little less down, a little less heavy. Try it out!

Some USA focused pods that I appreciated this week:

• Ken Burns on The Conversation with Dasha Burns:

  I will listen to anything this man chooses to say about history- there’s so much to learn, to remember, to add perspective to. He even says here- subscribe the the NY Times and the WSJ- because we know that they do their vetting and are going to do responsible reporting- and then take a break. Thank you, Ken!

  I still haven’t watched his American Revolution documentary, but I was actually changed on a molecular level by his brother Ric’s documentary of New York City that I watched in the summer of 2020 and helped me stay sane. It was my lesson that I took away to this day, to take comfort in history- New York has survived multiple pandemics! Terrible things have always happened to people in this city that I love so much! And still we rise, I guess. (who got that, let’s talk) This is also a note that we should all support PBS by subscribing to them as their funding is being impacted. A note for me, too.

• The Focus Group with Sarah Longwell featuring Heather Cox Richardson

  I love this podcast because Sarah is a self-identified conservative who no longer feels at home in the Republican party, she’s gay, she’s smart, she runs focus groups, and she therefore has quite an interesting perspective- always, not just this week- on our great experiment of a nation.

  Heather Cox Richardson is an American historian (and a liberal’s wet dream? but I’m not mad?) and I always appreciate her takes on current events with her historian’s perspective.

  Get involved! It makes everything better!

• The Daily: Why Everyone Cares About this World Cup:

  A summary of all of my mentions of loving tourists loving America. A wave of international visitors encounter an America they’d never seen up close. And Americans welcoming them with open arms. This country, made up of people!! RANCH DRESSING!!

• The Most American Episode of the Daily, Ever.

  Literally just NYT reporters talking about what they cover and what’s the most American thing they can think of on their beat, and it’s kind of fascinating to pull back and break it down like this. 2 sentences to a couple of minutes, each. Delightful!

Nobody’s perfect, but I’m trying to appreciate what we have. And we have ranch.

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Remember the Meatball Shop? Bring back the Meatball Shop!!! I thought that we’d started a campaign for this, did we not?

I watched a clip of a chef talking about his bodega and how they make the best iced coffee and I thought to myself: I’ve been slipping on the bodega iced coffee. So I got one. And you guys. It was delicious. It was $3. I got to have a classic bodega experience. I’m back. I even added milk. Big time.

July 3, 2026, 8:22pm. I think Taylor had just gotten married. The sky out of my window, it was fucking glorious. Happy birthday to us.

Things I consumed this week:

• I saw The Invite: Highly recommend! This is the one with Olivia Wilde, Seth Rogen, Penelope Cruz and Ed Norton (I miss Ed Norton, he was such a presence in my younger years that I am always so happy when I see him again) I didn’t know if I was waiting for someone to spill, to fuck, to die- it all takes place between the 4 of them, in one apartment, over the course of a dinner party. (t was funny, it was sad, it was dark, it was light, it was great.

  Also: back on my 11am movie kick. I had my pick of seats on the hottest day of the year. DO IT. Popcorn for brunch. And World Cup tourists also freaked out about American movie theaters, so go enjoy one.

• I read The Irish Goodbye. Not a Hallmark movie, it was sold to me to be like the Blue Sisters. It was good enough- three sisters go home to Long Island for Thanksgiving, dealing with family dynamics and past family tragedies and understanding each other as adults.

• I read Into the Blue by Emma Brodie: Good! Weird, a little? But I really liked it- the weird is that they make an improv sci-fi show and I didn’t want to get into the details of the show’s world which they talked about a lot?- but the rest of the story I was here for, two people who fell in love as teenagers re-enage later in life. I keep hearing about this one, it’s on a lot of people’s lists.

My camera roll is full of screenshots of book recs from IG, so I’m clearly seeking recommendations! Please send ideas!!

I love to scroll my friend Annie’s Goodreads for ideas, what else do you got for me? She has 3 under 5 (catch my drift?) and I don’t know how she does it but she’s always on a tear. I, on the other hand, have nothing but time to read. So send send send.

Hope it was a nice long weekend- happy summer, happy birthday, happy times, be good, tread lightly, eat watermelon! even though we never should have gotten on board with seedless because now we’re reliant on big farming but whatever!

Thank you for being here, for making it this far, per usual!

xoxo

ally

p.s. EF, AA?

I have finally come to understand that I am not a big birthday person. No big productions necessary, don’t sing to me, it’s all too much. I sound like Scrooge, and I don’t mean to be, but it all makes me so uncomfortable somehow? I’ve said this many times before- I like attention but not that kind. Make me work for it. I want you to notice me because I did something funny, or because I made something delicious for you to eat, or I’m wearing an awesome kaftan. Not just because I exist.

I remember how un-fun my 40th birthday was. A big dinner, bringing together different groups of friends- lucky girl, right? A dance party in a way-too-crowded-and-hot bar that the 25 year olds helped me find, but my 40 year old friends bailed out on, understandably. I remember one friend wanting to talk, while 3 other people were trying to say hi. It was all too much, not enough of me to go around, not enough time or attention to spend it with everyone. Blame it on ADHD brain, maybe? I learned that I would much rather have 12 dinners with 2-3 people than one big night with all of them. I’m not trying to diagnose it, I’m just learning.

It’s not just mine, I am terrible with other people’s birthdays, too. Notoriously. It’s gotten me in trouble, I’ve learned who it matters most to so that I know to prioritize. I have a decades-long running joke (I think?) with one of my bffs- we have spent hours on the phone, multiple years in a row, with me only realizing weeks later that it had been on her birthday. We laugh and laugh about it. Only for me to go to the pharmacy one day to pick up a prescription for her (she’s also my neighbor, lucky us!)- not realizing that the only information I’d need would be her birthday. Laughter and tears ensue. Reader, I still didn’t know it. I believe this is when I started saving them on the calendar (and it’s still not foolproof).

Case in point, my birthday was last week. Don’t even bother gasping if you didn’t reach out- I’m serious. I’d much rather you respond to this because I said something so astute that you fell off of your chair. Or text me when you see something that makes you think of me. The birthday though? It’s really nice to hear from you, I really truly do appreciate being thought of, but I also don’t really care. (I used to not have my birthday on Facebook until I felt terrible one year hearing from too few, so grain of salt this whole thing, reader)

I really do like attention, just not the birthday kind. I didn’t do anything to deserve this.

My mother, Cathy Sue Saliman Holleb- she did all the work. You should definitely reach out to her, she would love to hear from you. But please- let me know when I do something that you like- even just existing as a quality human. I’m here for that.

I had a lovely birthday this year, truly. As I might have mentioned, I’m obsessed with NYC and the vibes right now And I, like Carrie Bradshaw, seem to really ride the energy of this partner, this relationship that I’m in with the big city. The mood is high. I went on the bus tour last weekend- it was my unofficial kick off to the big birthday. I had a lot on the calendar.

I went to see the Cubs sweep the Mets: took myself to a game (I was supposed to go with friends, the game got rained out!) and I still had a great time.

Peanuts, beer, cased meat, a crowd- never a bad time.

I took myself to a concert (Wilco! At Forest Hills!) last weekend. It was amazing. I met a friend before the show in the neighborhood for a hang and a drink, she walked me to the door, and in I went for a gorgeous night of weather and music.

And then my life changed.

Some young girls walked past me in my seat, turned to me and said “You are a vibe, we all said that we want to be like you when we’re older” and I think I died a little inside- a very happy death. Peak everything, peak life. I’ve never felt such a feeling in my chest- is that my apex moment, my apex mountain? Holy shit.

And then came the actual birthday. I turned 49. I had to ask around because I’ve been saying I’m almost 50 for a few years now, I think it’s softening the blow. Anyway. It was a busy week for my friends- summer kick off, work trips, last week of school vibes (in NYC they just finished school! My midwesterners are halfway through their summers already, it’s all a lot to manage, brain power-wise), sending everyone to camp- so between that and just having been busy of late, I made no plans for the actual birthday.

And I had, may I say, a wonderfully glorious day. I couldn’t think of what I’d done, where the day had gone, so I thought I’d give us all a rundown of how I spent a glorious birthday alone in the big city.

Friday, June 26. (*adds to calendar)

9am. I Bravo’d and coffee’d on my couch watching In The City.

930ish. My bff/neighbor (she of “I don’t know her birthday” fame) came over, brought my favorite ice cream, and looked at some recent acquisitions that we hadn’t reviewed yet, an actual delightful start to the day.

11am. I got a smoothie- always a treat for moi- grabbed a little something for my pregnant friend, and stopped by the dispensary for a joint for later.

11:30 am. Took the train (with no issues!) while listening to a favorite Bravo podcast, to one of my favorite places in the city- my hair salon (talk to me if you need reccos, I spend more time with these people than most anyone in my life).

I saw all of my girls, I got my roots covered and hair glossed, I got a serious wax, a great blowout- I left a new person, per usual.

3pm. Walked to a bar in the neighborhood for a dirty martini and some tuna cripsy rice while I watched France score a hat trick in La Coupe Du Monde and read my book and eavesdropped. Dreamy. Also, I am becoming a full on soccer fan. Warning.

4:30pm. Walked home, listening to said podcast. One of my favorite things in the world to do.

5:30pm. Stopped for one more martini closer to home. More people watching and eavesdropping, no TV for soccer viewing unfortunately. My bad.

7pm. Home. Ordered pizza. Smoked the joint. Watched many episodes of Love Island UK. Ate a lot of pizza. Dipped in my favorite ranch like a good Euro tourist / Midwesterner.

11pm. Continued to ignore my phone. Watched more Love Island UK. Went to bed a happy girl.

That, if I do say, was a dreamy day in the scheme of days. Can you see it? I don’t always have full days of nothing- more than you, probably, but still fewer and farther between than I’d like.

Yet I can’t help myself but to think that I’ve befuddled some people. They can’t believe I didn’t have big plans, didn’t make a big deal, hadn’t stacked the calendar. “What did you do for your birthday! Nothing!” doesn’t quite have a great ring to it. It makes me remember that, as a close-to-50 year old, single, childfree woman: I am befuddling to many. And I don’t always think of myself this way, so it always takes me a minute to catch up. I hope you’re not feeling badly for me.

I really love these days that I have to myself- they’re a gift. Sometimes I overdo it, meaning I let myself have a few too many quiet days in a row, and I need people. I can’t decide if I’m an extroverted introvert or introverted extrovert- did you know this about me? But for a day or two, here and there- it’s a dream. Almost overwhelming if you really let yourself think about it: NYC is literally my oyster, I am a lucky human who can do almost anything she wants, and I alone get to choose! Birthday or otherwise, it’s a gift. I don’t need the birthday to make it the excuse, is what I think I’m trying to say.

When I was living in New Orleans, I remember reading about how a slow morning is the ultimate luxury, and I was in the middle of having a year of them, and how that hit really hard for me, I was really grateful for it.

I would specifically set my alarm to give me a good hour of reading before I had to get ready to go to the store. It was new, as a New York hustle didn’t really allow for that, or I hadn’t thought about it yet, it felt like a real gift.

And you guys, it was so fucking nice- it is so fucking nice. I have kept this habit going. Coffee, a book, the newspaper- some days it’s Bravo- and some time, because I can, because my mornings are mine. And my birthday was, too. A full day. Same idea, just a bigger gift. Like holy shit. Just a moment of grateful. What a crazy world. What a lucky girl. What a wonderful community I have. Full of love.

Thanks for being here, for making it here, for reading this far.

I appreciate you

xoxo

ally

(was that emotional fingerpainting AA)

We know that I always love New York, but I’m feeling it harder than usual right now- and this is not a Knicks-related post, I promise.

A few weeks ago, my brother and his family came to visit from Colorado- my 4 year old nephew’s first time here- and it was wild experiencing the city with them. Seeing it through the eyes of a 4 year old who lives in a small town in the mountains- wow. Explaining different neighborhoods, visiting so many playgrounds, eating so much pizza. Introducing them to Chinatown and soup dumplings - the list went on and on, and it made me love the city in a new way. Train rides become… fun? Also, so much kid stuff to do!! The number of playgrounds is astounding!

I can’t help but think of the sheer number of people that he saw- so many colors, all shapes and sizes. How tall the buildings must have seemed- and we didn’t even make it to the tall ones. Dogs pooping on sidewalks was a big deal! His mom couldn’t believe I had 3 Thai restaurants across the street when she can’t find one good one in her whole state. City living really does it for me, is what I’m saying.

The next weekend, a friend came to my neighborhood (the Lower East Side if you were unaware) for brunch and a wander. I live here. I know what’s up, I know what I walk past every day, I don’t even think about it anymore.

But with her, seeing it all for the first time- wow! My neighborhood offers so much! More boutiques than I would have told you before our walk. Cute shops I’ve passed on the daily but never stopped into- I’m wide eyed! That place I’ve gone once and never again 6 years ago, we explored for 40 minutes. A whole new appreciation for everything that I can experience in less than a 5 minute walk from my apartment.

And then. This weekend came. Vibes were high to begin with.

Mother Nature was smiling on us in NYC. It was glorious. Low 80s. Perfect breeze.

On this glorious Sunday, my friend and I went on a double decker bus tour around Manhattan. Holy shit. I’ve wanted to do this forever. And it did not disappoint.

From one floor above, driving around with the wind in my hair, surrounded by tourists speaking all kinds of languages, I drank it all in. The streets, the buildings, all of it.

Is this what the birds feel like, every day? Being a viewer instead of a participant? Watching it all from above kind of felt like that. This thing I’m in, everyday- I’m not getting to watch it from above, because I’m in it. Just… what… huh… cool.

I watched the woman in front of me just press record and make a video as we drove up the West Side Highway- I forget about the Intrepid! She videoed our drive down West 50th Street, too- something I would barely have looked up for. But seeing it through her phone screen, thinking about how she’s going to take these videos home and show her friends and family- well, it got my heart growing a few extra sizes. I got to see things through new eyes again and, just wow.

This city is beautiful. Tree lined streets. Small buildings line the east/west streets. Huge building line the avenues. People are moving, everywhere, all of the time. Cars, bikes, scooters, too. Small businesses actually make up the heart of this city, it’s just so easy to forget it. They’re all over the place. Restaurants, dry cleaners, shoe repair, hair and nails, little shops- I saw them in a way I never have been able to from street level, when I’m in the mix instead of being just above, watching.

It’s a great reminder: support your local businesses! They are the heart of every town!

There was the Summer Solstice Yoga event happening in Times Square. I can’t imagine going inward here, but hey, to each their own!

The sheer number ads in Times Square felt different up there, I was overwhelmed! ADHD to the max. I took pictures but they don’t do it justice. I watched a group watching the World Cup a couple more blocks down. Next block, a kid visiting the city, his family watching, dancing his heart out to the guy drumming on overturned plastic buckets. Is this the day he realized he must live in the big city when he grows up? Time will tell.

It was Sunday, so not a lot of commuting. But a lot literally everything else. Cabs, everywhere. New Yorkers, walking fast, circumnavigating the crowds. People, all over the place. And buildings. I couldn’t get enough of the buildings.

This city is chaos, controlled chaos, in the best way. It all somehow works, you know?

Anyway. Bucket List Item: CHECK!!! Thank you RKD for a glorious day in (or above?) the city.

And thank you New York, for always New York-ing

We hopped off once, to go to Printemps. New Yorkers, have you been? We got taken on a tour by the lovely Rihan who greeted us upon entry, and I discovered parts of the store that had been unknown to me until then (my third visit? I was not curious enough the first two, clearly), and peed in what might have been the most gorgeous bathroom I’ve ever used.

And this shoe department!! The mosaic tiles! Holy shit! I barely noticed the shoes, I couldn’t get over the room. The entire ceiling! I literally missed this twice. Huh??

It’s fun to be a tourist in your town! I saw so much, I actually, really truly learned a thing or two.

The day ended by us sitting by the river, waving a quick hello to Lady Liberty, drinking a big fountain Diet Coke, and watching dogs as they walked by.

I mean, can you even??

Do it! Highly recommend.

P.S. We both agree that we would pay money for someone to create an app that focused specifically on helping you find places where you can get fountain soda. Jilly, are you reading this?

I stopped for a beer on my way home (go Cape Verde!!), and this guy was playing his music outside, on his bike, perfect end to a perfect New York City day.

One of my favorite New York City things is when people are carry speakers and play music (as long as they keep on moving, that is) - yet I was most taken with his 7Up socks.

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Two specific corners of the internet are making me so damn happy right now: World Cup fans loving America (and the food, specifically) and reflecting pool jokes. Have you also been fed this? If not, start looking for it- it’s worth it, I swear.

• World Cup fans discovering American food and super-size culture. Have you seen it yet? Things to look for: British and Japanese tourists trying Texas BBQ for the first time (they can’t believe how tender the meat is), the Italian who is discovering free refills, Mexican/Korean telenovella/ k-dramas playing out in the street before your eyes, the Scots tasting Mexican food and their minds being blown by flavor, and TSA warnings to travelers about ranch dressing (best one you can buy is here) and whether the bottles should go in your carry-on or checked bag (hint: it’s not the carry-on) and that no, you can’t chug it at security. The way they talk about our steak in this country is truly… awesome? What is happening over there?

• The Brits are obsessed with our yellow school buses, they didn’t believe that they were real. Also shocked by thunderstorms and sunsets. Again, what?

• Someone wrote to them: What DO you have over there? And I am genuinely curious, too.

• Someone tweeted “If you want to hate America, watch the news. If you want to love America, drive across it” and I’m thinking that this is the reminder that we all need to hear

• Another one “The World Cup is just the US having a giant sleepover with the cousins we never see because our parents hate each other.” SO TRUE.

• I’m feeling… patriotic?

• Team Algae and all of the jokes surrounding this fakakta (it’s yiddish!) reflecting pool shit. It’s really good. When you can get past the tragedy and waste and what the whole thing represents, that is.

  

I’m back on my reading bullshit!

Things I read that are good enough to recommend- this is a “beach reads” kind of a list. Send me reccos if you have them!! Please and thank you!

• Rooting Interest by Cat Disabato. This one is about a female sportswriter who switches beats to cover the WNBA and one of their rising stars who she just might fall for - no spoilers here. I went to my first WNBA game (The W as I have now learned) immediately upon finishing this book. GO LIBERTY!! You’ve heard of Heated Rivalry; now it’s the girls’ turn and I’m here for it.

• Annie Knows Everything by Rachel Wood. I loved this. Annie is spirited, sassy, headstrong, and not worrying about the little things. She does what she feels is right and tends not to think of the consequences, or think for a second that she might not always know best. She works for a tech company, gets transferred to a new department due to layoffs, and love and chaos ensue. I read it too fast, huge compliment to the book!

• Dolly All the Time by Annabel Monaghan: A summer spent pretending to be a rich man’s girlfriend, in the best and cutest way. A Hallmark movie in book form, only better. Annabel is becoming one of the authors whose next book I’m looking forward to reading- Nora Goes Off Script was also a wonderful one of hers.

That is it for now- thank you, per usual, for being here

Tell me what’s up!

Thanks for reading, thanks for making it this far, xoxo

I APPRECIATE YOU!

xo,

ally

Not sure if you had heard?

Us New Yorkers are pretty stoked. This has been quite a time here. And we can get kind of annoying about it. (and if you follow me on IG, I’m sorry/not sorry. and if you don’t, how did you get here again?)

Look- bear with us. We’re having a moment over here. Our big city is feeling like a small(er) town. We’re all friends. People are dancing in the streets, entire subway cars are chanting, blocks and blocks filled to the brim with people are singing together. Fist bumps, high fives, we’re acting incredibly out of the ordinary. What the actual fuck is going on? I’ve literally never experienced anything like this- I’m thrilled that I get to now.

Collective joy! Collective effervescence! I can feel the bubbles! I think that’s how to explain this. Have you read the think pieces? Sports! Bravo! Community! Find a thing you love, find others who love it too, boom. Collective happiness! For even a fleeting moment- it’s wonderful. It’s actually quite simple when you think about it. I write about it all the time here, finding my corner of the internet that makes me laugh, brings me joy. But when an entire city - and here we’re talking not just a city, but the biggest one- does it, together? Holy wow.

We just did this one in person, together, OUT LOUD. And it was fucking awesome.

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Below are scenes from a 4 block radius on Saturday night during the 3rd quarter. Everyone was out watching. Every window had people around it.

Knicks were down, everyone still believed.

I read, and then heard my mayor say, that usually we’re not brought together like this, through joy; it’s usually a tragedy that brings people together, peacefully, en masse, to experience this thing together. (I guess some would argue that 50+ years of this team not winning is the tragedy, here and they wouldn’t technically be wrong.) When I think back to my years in NYC, there have been a handful of moments that feel this significant in terms of how strong I’ve felt the love for my city- but none with this much joy.

I was here for 9/11 and in the weeks after, I’d never felt more attached or part of something (some are calling this win the reverse 9/11, it feels that big). I lived here during two separate blackouts (I thought I had? But now I can only find one per Google? what?) - but specifically I remember August 14, 2003 - one of the most fun days that I can think of during my time here. It was a day when everyone came together to eat the ice cream before it melted, people passed out flip-flop sandals to women hiking home in high heels, and we all went to the bar to drink the beer before it went bad (s/o to The Black Sheep- who was there with me? Am I remember this right??). Everyone was in it together, we were all friends, we all were dealing the same shit- even if we weren’t.

This Knicks championship win will be one of times (THE time?) that I’ll look back on as a New Yorker with such pride I could burst- and I grew up with Michael Jordan and the Bulls of the 90s. Everyone thinks their team is special- but this team, Jalen Brunson; well, did MJ buy a cab driver a new car after it got trashed, and take a $113m pay cut (I know he took one, I know!). Maybe he did, but I wasn’t living in NYC then. And I am now.

We know it, we feel it, this was a group effort, this was special. I’ve never felt anything like this. The energy is just incredible- the vibes are high. People are in a good mood. Doesn’t matter what you look like, where you live, what you do for work- everyone is in this, together. The only colors that matter are blue and orange. We had a tough winter- and the weather finally turned the corner. The parties finally got to the streets- block after block after block.

It takes a lot for New Yorkers to agree on anything, much less wear the same thing, and I am obsessed with the fact that every day, over half of this city wakes up and chooses to wear something Knicks related. Do you know how many people that is, making that choice? I literally picture it, as I walk down the street- I think to myself “you woke up, reached in a drawer, and chose that shirt”- so many times I couldn’t count. I had to get involved, but in a way that made sense to me.

It worked- thanks to my haul at Cos from earlier in the day. This orange/red is becoming a staple in my closet. And the shapes are tres moi.

New York is showing off the best version of our city, just as the World Cup tourists got here- they’re in for a great time. So are we, I feel.

Usually, New Yorkers want to leave the city in the summer- this one though, we might to rethink it. I used to argue with my friends in college that New York wasn’t the center of the world. Guess what? I was wrong. This is the best city in the whole wide world. (this week, at least)

I love anything that makes the city feel smaller- I think we all do. It’s called community, finding your people, you name it. I had coffee today with the owner of my local coffee shop- Gather (they do catering!)- who I hadn’t officially met before. I’m telling you this for a reason, I promise. A few weeks ago, while I was doing my thing at said coffee shop, as I am known to do- I looked over, and saw a friend who I hadn’t seen for at least 10 years, talking to the owner. A lot of squealing ensued, numbers were exchanged, and I floated away- I love this so much.

In this big city, at that exact moment, in that exact place, I found her. (A couple of weeks ago, I bumped into friends in midtown and I buzzed about it for days, I know how thrilled I am by it). And now I have a new friend in the neighborhood, so my community just expanded a bit, my neighborhood got a little tighter. The joy I felt from that random encounter- the highs I get from a random run-in in this big city- is remarkable. So big- but you can make it so small. And this Knicks run has propelled us all - specifically over the last 2 weeks- to remember that while we live in this big place- it is the greatest city in the world, we’re all lucky to live here, and we’re all in it together. Keeps making me think about “Midwesterners are nice, New Yorkers are kind” and how true it’s proven every day.

World Cup… here we come! Please to teach us, visiting fans! Us single ladies have high hopes for our visiting brethren.

Also- be sure to meet Freddy and some of the other tourists discovering America if you haven’t already. The best form of patriotism I’ve experienced in a while. Maybe in one month I’ll be writing an ode to the USA, all thanks to the foreign tourists. Who knows? I am all bubbly on the inside!

Really, though? We all want the next reason to party in the streets. This was so fun.

xoxo thank you for being here, thank you for making it this far

go knicks!

here’s to more draws (4 in one day!!) and great games in the cup!

let us keep hanging in the streets, together!

ally

I’m trying to wrap my head around what’s been going on in this city the last week or two. I’m not sure I’ve ever experienced anything like it. The Knicks have made it to the NBA finals and everyone in town is invested in a way I’ve never experienced.

I was working at the store the other day and my UPS guy (s/o Sean!) and a very, very rich customer (he made sure to let us know) spent 15 minutes - no joke- kiki'ing about the Knicks. These two people would never, and I mean never, have even made eye contact outside of this basketball vortex we’re currently engulfed by (complimentary! it’s amazing! let’s stay here forever!). Strangers are fist-bumping strangers, they’re streaming games on brick walls off their fire escapes for everyone to watch, we are in this together as a city in a way that I can’t emphasize enough.

I watched part of the game last night outside of a Russian restaurant (that I don’t think had TVs before this week) where a crowd of people were literally sitting in the street.

There are roars - constantly- for each play. I say constantly because no one’s feed is timed the same so one party (above) is seeing a shot that the other party, watching in the Mexican restaurant around the corner (below), is still 10 seconds away from experiencing. They hear the roar and they know something is coming. They roar, too.

I walked down one block that was so full of people watching on a screen outside of a coffee shop that I started to have the feelings of an anxiety attack- one block, so full!

The local dispensary was showing it too- the crowd was, unsurprisingly, a bit more chill. The roars were far less.

And then there were the rest of streets. You guys. The streets during the 4th quarter were empty in a way that felt like the Sunday night of Labor Day weekend- aka not a soul to be seen.

Restaurants without TVs had a few tables taken, maybe one person at the bar. That’s it. I don’t think I had to stop once for a car when I crossed the street, no matter what color the light was. So few cars driving that I had to laugh. Uber drivers were pulled over, delivery drivers on their bikes were hanging in the crowds.

NO ONE WAS DOING ANYTHING BUT WATCHING THE KNICKS. It was wild.

Some context. The New York Knicks are in the NBA finals for the first time since 1999, and for going for their first title win since 1973 (over 50 years, I did the math you’re welcome).

It’s been said in the past that there’s nothing like NYC when the Knicks are winning- and it’s true. What you need to remember is New York has two teams in every other sport (sorry Nets, you’re just not there yet): Giants/Jets (football), Islanders/Rangers (hockey), Mets/Yankees (baseball)- even RedBulls/NYCFC (soccer). So when the Knicks win- everyone is involved and invested. Especially during days such as these- you feel it just that much more, that much harder. And I can’t express how awesome it is.

I spent the second half of the last two games (Friday and Monday) walking home and watching the game- stopping in window after window, joining group after group, watching through the window of bar after restaurant after bar. It is an infinitely less stressful way to watch a game, a mode of distraction, to have a task, a break between plays. Also the people watching, the eavesdropping, the energy I’m taking in, is all truly incredible.

One of my faves- so many people asking and explaining the game of basketball. How do we win? What does best of 7 mean? What is a foul? How many minutes is a game? How many quarters? How tall is that guy? He’s only 22? What does flopping mean?

Last thing. I was talking to my Trader Joe’s checkout guy- he was wearing blue, an obvious callout to that night’s game. He asked if I could name a B player on this year’s Knicks team- I couldn’t. But I could talk ‘90s NBA thanks to the Bulls run of my youth- Spreewell, Starks, Oakley were some of the biggest villains who would try and hurt my Michael!- and he was so stoked, I decided I needed to trot this line of conversation out more. (RIP Stacey King). I don’t often think of Babyface BJ Armstrong, but he’s on my radar today. The 90s… are back.

Knicks in 5! Summer in the city!

National Doughnut day was last week and I treated myself and well: doughnuts DO deserve a day. This one from Doughnut Plant was exceptional, if I do say so. Worth it!

Doughnuts and pizza- my theory is to always start with the glazed/plain to get a real sense of the place. And this is the place.

Til next year!

I live just outside of Chinatown, and, per usual, the ladies are always a few generations ahead.

Think tai chi for movement (every morning in my park). Technology. Acupuncture.

They’ve always known what’s up, and us Americans are always a few steps behind. So I’ve been noticing, for a few years now, when the ladies in the hood start walking around with their umbrellas for shade and sun protection. And they’re on to something. Looks cool, looks chic, looks smart. And looks like it works. Pretty foolproof.

I’m getting there, I keep thinking about it- but I’m just not there yet.

And then I saw people lined up for something - not in Chinatown- and it got me a few steps closer. Look how good this is. I have no idea what they’re doing, but they stopped me in my tracks.

I did some diligence and here are some ideas I’m thinking would work with my many one-piece dressing ideas…. umbrella season (of life), here I come. Summer starts June 21, I’ll be marinating on this til at least then.

Team. I think that’s it for this week.

Knicks fever, New York City love is the main thing right now.

I’m watching Love Island (x2) and trying to stay on top of my Bravo and it’s getting tough- these games are not helping my time management.

I am so grateful for this season and traveling light (in terms of layers) and that my legs (and all my body parts!) work so that I can walk and wander and take it all in.

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Thanks for being here, thanks for making it here.

Knicks in 5!

xoxo

ally

Before I go anywhere- happy Love Island Day to those who celebrate!!

And GO KNICKS!! This city is pumped and so am I!

There’s nothing like NYC when the Knicks are playing well, it’s the only time everyone gets along. Enjoy it while we can.

But back to it.

Here, in NYC, I think it’s safe to say that….we’ve turned a corner. Weather-wise, I mean. Sunsets are a-blazing, trees are treeing, flowers are blooming, skin is being shown. After this winter, I’m trying to breathe it in, absorb it all, take note of the layers I’m not leaving the house with. Deep breaths.

This weekend was overall gorgeous (Saturday, I’m looking at you; Sunday, you really helped bring up the rear) - but Memorial Day was pretty dreadful over here, cold and grey and rainy. Not winter cold, but when you want it to be 70s and it’s 50s and windy and grey- its kinda the same thing? Ish. But that’s when we’re told summer is supposed to start- so expectations run high, the disappointment tends to hit hard and linger. Especially considering we’ve seen some nice days here and there, and some so hot we can’t believe what’s happening -when SUMMER was literally thrown in our faces- so I was getting excited to get out there.

And then we woke up on that Memorial Day Sunday, and wanted to go literally nowhere. It was grey. It wasn’t warm. It rained literally all day.

I had big plans: to wander the city in one of my favorite ways- long summer weekends when everyone vacates so the streets feel quieter. I was going to throw on a flowy dress, go on a long walk in my new so-ugly-they’re-cool sandals, a Bravo podcast in my ear, and go on a little hunt to try some shoes, see what’s going on out there with flowy pants (more to come), maybe keep an eye out for a new dress to add to the rotation, start summer off strong.

Well… that seasonal shopping kickoff was not meant to be. The weather made sure of it. What it turned into though, was a blessing in disguise that saved me $350 that day alone- and kept my summer fantasies fueled.

I tried on my closet.

I tried on all of my dresses, jumpsuits, summer outfits- that side of the space. And this was an excellent, excellent exercise, one I do with my clients more and more these days, yet hadn’t done for myself and needed to.

I can’t recommend it highly enough, and wish I had given myself this time sooner. Figure it out, carve out the time, it’s worth it, I swear. Mind blowingly so. Trust.

I learned so much: I remembered things I had that I’d forgotten about. I found a new dress that 'I’d bought at the end of the summer and fits a hole that I’ve been feeling for something a bit “nicer”- and I’d forgotten all about it. Woo hoo! Pants- those navy linen ones, that I grabbed at the end of last summer from Zara? Turns out they’re going to be a workhorse. One of my fave go-to dresses? Maybe it needs to retire, it wasn’t looking so hot in the light of day.

And I know you’re thinking - “remind me again- how did you save $300”?

Well… I had a big black dress in a cart online- my favorite kind- ready to click “buy” on a Memorial Day sale at one of my favorite stores that I tend to drool over and not actually purchase from. But this dress was a nice price, a brand I love, there was a 20% off sale, and well, it was my vibe. So much so that, after trying on all of my dresses, I realized I had three extremely similar dresses and didn’t need it at all.

It’s not that I don’t like it, it’s not that I didn’t know exactly how to wear it, how I’d style it, where I’d go in it- it’s that I have a few things that check this box and I don’t need to add more. There’s only so much time in a week, you know? I prefer to keep it simple - not having to stress over which big black dress makes my day easier. And I know there will always be another one when the time comes.

Am I a deal or what?

(pats self on back as she spends that money somewhere else… maybe on these loafers instead- something that I know I’ll wear a ton and definitely fill a hole, check a box that I’m needing)

When is the last time you went through your closet? Played around a little, tried on some new tops with some old pants, to see what you could come up with?

Call me if you need help! It’s always better with a friend, or a different voice in the room. Someone to change up the perspective.

My try-on session also had me thinking about the closet as a collection.

Someone asked me if I was going to get rid of “so much stuff” after my closet time- and no! I don’t want to do that! This was more of a reconnaissance mission; we were getting reacquainted, feeling each other out after a long, grey winter.

I don’t mean that in a hoarder way (we can talk about it, I’m a piler by nature), but I really do not actively want (or need!) to get rid of things in my closet. I shop relatively carefully, and tend to buy things that I like to wear for years. So adding and getting rid of pieces this summer isn’t something I won’t do - I just want to be smart about it, understand about how I’m adding to the collection, buying something that I love and will exist a long time in that space, filling a box that could use some checking.

It’s also - as I’ve discussed obsessively here- the most fun way to shop. Hunting for the piece that you’re going to be so excited about. I am hunting. For a new dress. I’ll let you know when I find her.

In my try-on, I learned a few things.

• A few dresses were a bit too worn (they’re getting to the point of sheer-thank you for your service). Some were 10 years old and have definitely achieved peak cost-per-use status.

• A few I have to deal with - i.e. the white has started to turn a bit grey on a strap or armpit (happens to the best of us!)

• A few others, the fit was just not quite right anymore (I seem to have developed some hips I’m not used to?) so it’s time to put them to the side, anywhere but the closet.

• I did not need that next black dress right now- it was too similar to what I already had. I’m not mad at having a lot of black dresses- it’s that they all check the same box and there are only so many I need at once.

Bottom line: a great way to spend a rainy Sunday was trying on the closet. For a few hours at least. Save money. Clear the brain. Make outfits!

I went to a show last week (Mike D! He played with his sons! at a roller rink! it was weird and fun and funny! Which made the whole thing even better, somehow). I was supposed to go to their last tour before it was cancelled, so this felt like completing something from the past. I was thrilled. Live music rules, I need more of it.

My friend wanted to stand near the stage- I tend to be a back of the crowd kind of girl when I’m at a show. I like to have room, to know I can get to the bathroom and the bar easily, to not worry about stepping on anyone’s feet, not be in anyone’s way, have room to move. But for the first hour, I was up front with her.

Due to the artist, the crowd was extremely age appropriate- so much so that when I started yawning the guy behind me warned me to stop it or the whole room would catch it, too. He was right. It made me laugh.

But then I went to the bathroom for a second time, and didn’t push my way back up. I stayed in back and wiggled through the whole show, with no one behind me- happily.

What’s your show mentality, where do you like to watch from? Anyone want to go see Dark Star the last week of June? I’ll usually come to any show with you, just let me know it’s happening!!

I haven’t felt like cooking a lot lately. But we had a little outdoor Shabbat with the family this weekend, and ordered pizzas… and I made a salad. And it was good.

My brother said, “only lettuce?” when I brought the bowl out- but cousin Zach defended me. “This is like… good.”

I hadn’t thought of this one in a minute, but it’s the Via Carota salad recipe from the NYTimes.

I don’t listen to the lettuce suggestions. I usually just cut up a few heads of romaine. But I do riff that dressing (I went with one mustard instead of two, I don’t usually have thyme nor sherry vinegar- and it doesn’t matter).

And I forgot how good it was. And made a bowl of romaine with some scallions in it….I didn’t even want to take the time and cut the cucumber I found in my fridge- and it was…. elevated. Like, actually. Highly recommend.

I’ve been reading a lot (!!!!)- here’s a handful of good ones for the summer if you’re starting your list of things to read next to water in upcoming months.

Famesick by Lena Dunham:

I listened to this one, she read it and I really enjoyed!

I loved it, I really enjoy her writing, I’m thinking of finally watching Girls (I was a casual viewer but never fully devoted myself to it). I have friends who have suffered terribly from endometriosis and other chronic diseases and have learned so much from them- I have so much appreciation for Lena’s story, how sick she was, how career decisions often cause us to push harder than we should, how it’s so hard to talk about your chronic pain and the impacts it can have on you, your decisions, your loved ones, your relationships. As a talker myself, I find her so good at communicating I could have listened to another 9 hours.

Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke:

Have you heard about this one? Anne Hathaway is turning it into a movie? The one about the tradwife influencer (read: many kids, makes her own sourdough, lives on a farm, feeds the family raw milk on Instagram while we don’t know what is truly happening behind the scenes?) who one day wakes up in 1855, living the life that she purports online, not quite the reality she had once dreamt of. I really liked this book… til the twist. I NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT. ANYONE??? PLEASE TELL ME YOUR TAKE.

Long Island by Colm Toibin:

This one is a bit more “real” and bit less my usual shit. The sequel to Brooklyn- an Irish woman, Eilis, who moved to Long Island as a young woman, married into a big Italian family, and now is raising two teenagers on the same cul-de-sac as her husband’s parents and three brothers in the mid-70s. One day, a knock at the door- a man is there explaining to her that her husband had an affair with a client, who happens to be this man’s wife, and got her pregnant, and that he intends on dropping the baby off to its’ rightful father as soon as it’s born. This is Eilis’ story of the summer after this news is delivered. Beautiful, sad, family, Ireland. Again - a bit more meat on this bone, a great

The Heir Apparent by Rebecca Armitage:

You guys, I don’t know that I’d have told you that I LOVED this book, but I could not put it down. I thought of it during pilates this morning, things I don’t usually do. I read it very fast. And again- barely a sex scene! Who am I!? A take on the British Monarchy- Alexandrina is the younger twin to her brother Lous, and therefore not the heir to the throne. Her mom, we meet through flashbacks, is Diana-like. Her uncle Richard, despised by everyone yet a blind spot by his mum, the queen, sound familiar? Anyway- a tragic accident forces Alexandrina, who’d escaped the family to become a doctor in Tasmania(!) to return to her family, to contemplate her role, the family, the work- and I couldn’t get enough. We think we know what goes on, this is a fun insight behind the curtain.

That’s all I got for now!! Thanks for being here, thanks for making it this far, I appreciate you. Happy Love Island Day to all those who celebrate (and please remember that I recommend this highly)

xoxo

ally

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I check the weather- the HOURLY take, I need to fully understand what is going to be happening, like 100 times before it sinks in- and depending on the temp at 9a, at 12p, at 5pm and then again at 9p- I decide on my jacket. And then maybe I have to change said outfit to fit under the jacket. I love it.

The jackets I’m cycling through:

• a denim trench

  

• a long wool, bright blue coat

  

• a drab olive heavy cotton overcoat

• a black oversized leather jacket

• an off white bomber

  

I love having these options- different colors, different weights, different lengths, all dependent on my mood, on my look, on the vibes. These jackets have been in my life for many, many years- some newer than others, and I love cycling through them, adding to the collection thoughtfully, thinking of them in my usual 10 degree increments that I’ve discussed with you in the past.

New York Magazine wrote this little nugget about Spring jackets and I’m missing some of these- a chore coat is on the list, for sure. It’s so fun to be able to shop for pieces that I don’t already have, that fill a specific hole in my wardrobe, that I know are going to be around for the long haul- it’s the best kind of purchase, the best way to shop. I’m on a major, years-long hunt for a raincoat if anyone has any ideas for me- but please know, as soon as I find the one, I shall be grabbing it, and quickly. Could this be her?

I just added this cropped blaze/chore coat number that is going to be a great spring layer for me as the weather warms up- from Toast. The oversized front pockets are giving me life and it’s a great piece that can be worn many ways. You’ll be seeing it for a while, so get used to it.

Some other ideas in the Spring Coat department for you :

I hope you have built yourself a collection of things over the years (or are starting to think about it, or learning as you go and then slowly realizing that you’re doing it already) that brings you joy on the regular- and I think you don’t need me to state this, but I think that we all understand that it can be anything at all, not just clothes- make something like your closet make you happy!

I saw Devil Wears Prada 2 last weekend… preceded the night before by the original Devil Wears Prada and… thank you. An antidote to the world, and it’s not Bravo. They could have really fumbled this and they did not. We love romcoms! Even better when it’s more of a workplace story, and the romance isn’t the story- this was about a woman and her career and saving journalism! While looking great and being driven around in fancy cars and beautiful hotel rooms! Surrounded by beautiful people!

Andy (Anne Hathaway) did have a love interest- a like interest maybe- but… it didnt’ really matter. He wasn’t central to her happiness, he was just a side story that, honestly, we could have done without and been just fine (and the actor is from the most wonderful show that I’d forgotten about, Colin from Accounts!! It’s on Paramount, it’s really adorable, highly recommend.)

But back to the movie- Is it the best movie you’ll ever see? No. Did it give fashion and fun? Yes. The fashion montages are fun, if not too fast!

We laughed at jokes about Coach (not complimentary), we sat in a full theater, we oohed and aahed over the looks, over the cameos, over the continuity from the first movie to this one.

I died a little inside (complimentary) for the dress in the middle, by Gabriella Hearst; I would not mind trying that baby on myself.

Did you get to go see it yet? It’s a phenomenon! It’s a fun things for the girls (and a few of the boys) to all get behind. You know I love a movie, in a theater- it’s just that I’m usually alone! And yes, we did eat popcorn plus yeast. And diet cokes were had. Followed by martinis and burgers around the corner. Dream day with the girls!

I can’t stop with Summer House, I’m sorry (but not really at all).

Things that Amanda said that were insane last week’s episode:

• “Wait let me just look at my phone. Yeah no text that’s crazy” In reference to her friends not texting her an invite to meet for drinks. Imagine what she’d say if they didn’t tell her they’d been banging.

• “The last thing I would do is like invite Ciara and West out on an intimate date” Oh really?

• “You know, Ciara is a very special incredible person and like you need to treat her differently than like any other woman in the world” - said about the woman whose ex she started banging but never mentioned - aka treated no differently- to this very special incredible person that she’s speaking of

• “You know I’d die for that girl. The way I’d cut west off in one fucking second if she looked at me. If she gave me one look, I’m like attack” But…. you fucked West and cut off Ciara, so… help us understand what you meant this?

There’s more but I’ll leave it here.

I CAN’T WAIT FOR THE REUNION. We have to wait for what feels like forever! Argh!

I know this isn’t news, this is old at this point, but Amanda Batuglia (Dave Portnoy’s name for her which makes me giggle)’s sheer commitment to being this person that we never knew is astounding. She’s still posting random pics of herself and going out with the boys in the W Village, plus what we heard of the leaks and how she’s digging in, ten toes down- it’s all just proving that we never really knew her. I’ve been watching old episodes and it’s truly wild to view her through a new lens, not just as Kyle’s constantly-shit-upon partner. We read her wrong the entire time- justice for Danielle*!

*Danielle famously clocked Amanda for being the least trustworthy member of the house a few seasons ago during a game of Truth or Dare, and everyone’s reminding us of this moment now.

I read some books!!! Some are my usuals, some are not.

(this list isn’t just random, it’s nicely curated for your reading pleasure and I’ve spared you some of the worse ones, you’re very welcome)

• This Book Made Me Think of You- by Libby Page. A sweet little ditty on grief, reading, books, community, love. Tilly loses her husband, but he leaves her a gift: one book per month for a year from a local bookshop- plus a note that he leaves her, encouraging her to get back to living.

• A Certain Hunger- by Chelsea G Summers. The story of Dorothy- an acclaimed food and restaurant critic, who is now in jail for being a serial killer, and who recounts her murders and how she then prepared parts of her ex-lovers to eat. Surprisingly fun (and not gross, I swear)!

  

• Lake Effect- Cynthia D’Aprix Sweeney (she wrote The Nest, did you also read that?) It’s about 2 families in Rochester, NY, in the late 70s; then fast forward to the kids later in life, and the aftermath of an affair between the parents of the two families and how the kids have been living their lives since. The first half was almost DNF (did not finish), but I powered through and liked the 2nd half a lot more.

• It’s Different This Time- Joss Richard. An estranged couple inherit their old house that they had rented in the West Village, but they have to live there for a month, together, before figuring out what to do. You guys- it’s different this time! It’s all the things… and it’s in NYC. Please thank you you’re welcome give me 12 more.

  

• Any Trope But You- Victoria Lavine. A romance novelist- who doesn’t believe in happily ever after! the horror!- flees to a remote lodge in Alaska to write a mystery novel instead. The owner…happens to be a hot cancer doctor from the lower 48 who is there to help his ailing father. The story… is everything I wanted. A great book in the scheme of these.

Last.. but certainly not least.

I saw a medium. I don’t care if you don’t believe in this stuff, you can stop here, ciao for now, I still love you.

I loved it. I’m someone who is always looking for a quick solution, fit me in a box, tell me what to do to fix everything. So, I’m open to any of these things. Have I told you about my plant medicine retreat I went on to Costa Rica a few years ago? As I said, I am seeking. So anyway.

Someone had come through to a friend, during her own medium session last fall, with a message for me, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since. I learned that a friend of a friend is starting a business offering readings (is that what we call this?). So I made an appointment and holy shit.

I think it was my higher self coming through to tell me that I’m going to be ok, to keep going, and to take a leap towards what scares me. It felt… reassuring somehow? I still wouldn’t mind if anyone wants to tell me what to do. But. I feel that I’m heading in the right direction. Some of you did this part at 30, I’m doing it at 50, keep it to yourselves.

My biggest takeaway? Thinking about how I’m spending my energy- it was shown to Sarah in the form of a jigsaw puzzle, piles by color, frame worked on in parts, but no one part completed. I do tend to jump from thing to thing. So the question now becomes… what is the thing that i should channel it all into? Very fun, very interesting, so much food for thought, and somehow all feels very helpful in this journey that we call life.

I recommend Sarah highly! Check out her IG @soul_speaks_studio, make time with her, tell her I sent you. And learn a little bit about who is out there wanting to talk, and why! I’ll be going back soon, it was one of the better hours I’d spent in a while. And then, as I said to her… “I’m supposed to just be normal, do laundry after this?”- I didn’t, I went for a walk instead, I needed to process. I need to LEAP! (but to what? insert your opinions here)

I thnk that’s it for now, that’s it from here, you’re good for now

Thanks for making it all this way, thanks for being here, happy spring!

xoxo

ally

You guys, I’m sorry that it’s been a few weeks since I wrote. I start to build this up in my head and then it feels big and then I just don’t do it- and I need to get over that. Working on it!

I started to write my last post the day we weren’t sure if we were going to “obliterate an entire people” or whatever DJT posted that day- and I was getting on a plane, unsure of what would happen while I was in the air- and I just couldn’t do it, couldn’t write about the dumb shit I normally do. I think you’ll understand, we’re all living in this crazy timeline. And that was only a few weeks ago holy fucking shit. What!

So….I’m easing back in- hi, how are you, what’s been happening. I am glad Spring is here, more jackets to play with than my big blue! Sunshine is also a wonderful thing!

It’s officially “pile on the bed” season. Know what I mean? We’re in the thick of it all- freezing one day, hot the next, cold in the morning, schvitzing by 2pm. I don’t remember what my go-to’s were last year. I know I like these pants but have only been wearing them with sweaters, what else do I have in here? Dig, dig, dig!

This happens to me every year- I go to get dressed one day, and by the time I’ve rushed out the door- usually wearing some tried and true outfit that I could have just started with to have saved myself the time and the trouble- I’ve created quite a pile on the bed of discarded pieces that I’m not going with. Anyone else?

I bring this up as a reminder that we have to give ourselves time to get reacquainted with what’s going on in that closet and those drawers- there’s no such thing as effortless style! You have to the put the time in, somewhere. It’s busy season for stylists- everyone needs this help, and the smart ones delegate!

My favorite thing to do as a stylist is to play in your closet, make new outfits you’d never think of on your own, help you figure out what to do with that new wide leg pant you bought because everyone had one but don’t know how to wear it. It’s fun, it’s fulfilling, everyone learns a thing or two, me included. We’ve dug in, we’ve tried things on, we’ve said “thank you and goodbye” to some, we’ve said “hold on for later” to others, and we’ve said “I never thought to do this!” more often than you’d know- but now these clients know what they have, and they have a roadmap for moving forward. Better to have a lay of the land than go in blind, right?

Seasons change, so do our bodies, so does what we like and what the world likes- so try and make time to try it on, get a sense of what’s in there and what would be good additions before you hit the stores. Don’t shop til you know what you need! There’s no such thing as effortless style- put the time in now, save yourself time and money later! Save that money, honey!

I keep reading a lot of great pieces on dressing and women and being older and confused by what to wear. This piece from the Washington Post, on pants specifically, really hit. They’re so hard. No one ever knows what to do, what style to wear. No one knows what pants to wear, how to look, what they want to look like, how they want to dress. Which to me- your friendly stylist- is great news!! It doesn’t matter! Pick your pants based on what you like and what makes you feel good! These are the driving factors- not “I hate that I have to wear barrel leg”.

New season also means thinking about about new shoes and sandals: personally, my toes can’t wait to be free to wiggle!!

Below are some of my current dreams. Thinking: wearing a mumu, walking around NYC, sweating under my boob (but more Megababe magic powder in my bag!) - what shoes will I wish I had to wear?

I’m officially filing a petition to make popcorn food group.

It’s become my dinner of choice of late, and I wanted to know that I not going to die of scurvy. So I dug in- and wow I’m getting so much goodness from this bowl of popped kernels. I like to end with some ice cream for extra protein and you’ve pretty much killed the game, if I do say so myself.

Popcorn is:

• A whole grain.

• High in fiber

• Full of polyphenols, which are a type of antioxidant which is linked to better circulation and digestive health

• Popcorn contains the following vitamins and minerals, according to the USDA:

  • Vitamin B1

  • Vitamin B3

  • Vitamin B6

  • Iron

  • Magnesium

  • Phosphorous

  • Potassium

  • Zinc

  • Copper

  • Manganese

• And then, when I add my favorite nutritional yeast, and I get even more out of that bowl:

  • Protein

  • Fiber

  • Thiamine (B1)

  • Riboflavin (B2)

  • Pyridoxine (B6)

  • Potassium

  • Zinc

  • Vitamin B12

  • folic acid (vitamin B9).

Sounds like I couldn’t ask more of a crunchy, salty, satisfying bowl of food that keeps me busy- and makes me full- as I watch my third hour of Bravo on my couch- while still, somehow, not being a terrible food for me. You know?

I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR BRAVO.

There are so many things happening on this one channel that I almost don’t have time to keep up- and, back to my plea about missing DVR, I am so grateful that I only have to look in one place for all of these shows. I don’t have to think about a single thing: just open that Peacock app.

I know that Bravo is giving me all that I can handle right now, SEVEN SHOWS (and that’s not counting the After-Shows, the Watch What Happens, and all of the podcasts- plus the current Summer House drama that’s filling my feed). And I don’t even watch Below Deck or Southern Hospitality. So it’s nine if you’re all in.

I don’t have to go anywhere else to be entertained- from my TV to my timeline, I am filled. And in trying times like these, I’d just like to say…THANK YOU.

• Real Housewives of Rhode Island- I don’t know that any of us anticipated just how good this show would be. The casting department earned their paychecks on this one- like holy shit A++ work. The accents. The built in drama. The history and relationships of these women- they’re all entangled because the state is so small, and this show is going to be a great one, and we’re only 4 eps in. Already iconic. Alicia! A great way to get into the Housewives if you need a new show.

  

• Summer House- we’re past the point of an explainer of the show’s current, real-life drama (basically a best friend (amanda/mandy) and an ex boyfriend (west/bitch) of one queen of the show (Ciara) started more-than-making out behind her back and didn’t tell her until they made a public statement). Important to note: This is not a story about timelines. We understand that everyone is technically single. This is a story about betraying those who trusted you, about treating people you love with respect. The reason we all care so much? We’re watching this current season - filmed last summer- play out as foreshadowing to current day. And let me tell you, reader, this shit is WILD. They filmed the reunion for the season last week and we all want to watch the full, 10-hour, unedited cut. Pretty please, Peacock?

  

• Ladies of London- Margot (who my podcasters all like but I believe to be a shit stirrer of the most boring kind? anyone?) said this sentence- out loud, and in closed captioning on my screen- “It’s a very important designer, it’s an Alaia! Hasn’t he ever seen Clueless?” while in a fight with a fey Brit (Mark) at a true garden party on the grounds of a historical estate owned by one of the “ladies”. And Kimi is literally everything. Worth the watch- I can only vouch for season 2 but do it do it do it.

  

• Real Housewives of Atlanta - these women, well, they make me laugh. Shamea acting out a text exchange in a series of faces and hand gestures akin to “fuck you” is the meme of the season. Portia embracing her new relationship with a woman; Angela Oakley in the midst of her 2nd season glow-up and queen of the one liners; newbie K. Michelle, a country music star who is now full of silicone and leaking due to a bad butt implant- is giving as good as she gets, and Drew brought a “date” to a dinner party - her “man” Blakk sat there, at the table, on Facetime, for the entire dinner party, 2-3 hours is my guess? What a guy. I can not make a single word of this up.

  

• Top Chef- the Carolinas- Oneo of on this list- but certainly not least, and definitely one of the first ones I watch when it comes out. Do I have to explain to anyone why we love this show? Good, clean, cooking-filled fun. Restaurant Wars always feels evil, terrible, hard. Why do they all get so excited? And I’m getting into Last Chance Kitchen, too- more show to watch! Kristen Kish is so good at this!

• The Valley- I was actually laughing, making me realize that a life without Jax (and minimum amounts of Janet, go away, and eat something, all at the same time) allows for sunshine, happiness, lightness to come through. The boys babysitting made me thrilled.

• Real Housewives of Beverly Hills- Stop making me root for Amanda (reunion ep 1)! These ladies talking about emasculating their husbands sounded so old, so generational- Rachel Zoe, you made that money, honey, who cares if Roger felt smaller because of it. Thank you Amanda, for reminding us about girl power. Rachel Zoe, please come back, for many years to come.

  Kyle…please take a beat. Congratulations on your 15 years- and there’s a reason why no one else has done it, you get boring. Don’t let the door hit you on your way out- Tata for now, please.

That’s it from here: hope everyone is hanging in, doing well!

Send me notes, thanks for being here, for making it down this far, I appreciate you as always!

xoxo

ally

You guys- I’m feeling it… not despair, but sun and hope and spring is in the air! Allergies, too! Every pro has its con. I’ll take this one, this week at least. I’m seeing some flowers planted, some buds starting to make their way, and the Vitamin D is hitting hard. I want to get dressed, I’m trying on new things, I’m thinking about what to add to the closet. Anyone else??

Street style in New York is always outstanding- I’ve discussed this plenty here.

And we, as a people of New York City, are feeling spring. I’m walking more, and not all hunched over when I am, but standing up straight, face to the sun, looking around, taking in the buildings, the people, the city sounds, remembering how much I love walking all over this crazy place.

I’ve been snapping some shots when I see someone expressing themselves through style- not trends, but style- just making sure that I’m being clear.

We had one 70 degree day last week, but a couple of days ago it was 40 (real feel was 25 when I left the house) and today we’re back to 70. I’ve seen multiple sides of the style/trend specter, all in one week.

• Fur Coats (day= 40 but feels like 20). They’re everywhere. They’re back. Like the 90s and cigarettes, we’re not ashamed, we’re wearing them in their full glory. Usually faux or vintage, I’m assuming. Don’t give away your mom’s or grandma’s fur- save it, tweak it, zip it into a garment bag and stuff it in the back of the closet, but hold on to it.

  

  Not only are they the warmest, but they’re kind of the perfect transition piece- especially when you’re wearing the second trend I saw…

• Black sheer tights and booty shorts or a leotard (day = 70 and with the sun feels like 75 and I swear every human in this city was outside). I saw at least 3 people in this exact look in Soho on our one gorgeous day last week. Even I was surprised that this is a trend- Bob Fosse would be thrilled, most likely? I’m glad I’m not 25 having to contend with this one. Black v-necks and jeans were hard enough for me to figure out in my 20s.

  

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• Lots of pops of color: red and yellow, specifically- bags, shoes, tights. I love that people are having fun! Remember, this is all about style- not trends. A little something to make the look yours.

  

• Ecru for the win! I’m wearing it head-to-toe today and it’s giving me such a vibe, such a bounce in my step. I even made a friend on the subway over it, no joke. I’m really (still) loving my wide leg ecru pants- they transition from winter to spring, gorgeously- a heavy sweater or a breezy button down, they can handle it all. The off white is a little less in your face- still clean, super chic (not me, but you!), minimal- but it’s a look and it’s a good one. Classic, stylish- always on trend.

  

  You’ve seen these pants before- not inexpensive, but for how much I wear them, a worthwhile investment. We can buy strategically and make it all make sense, never forget, just call me.

• Chocolate and Beetroot (you can name the color, it’s a burgundy, deep red) for Spring- a trend made of colors that make you think fall, but will remain stylish and classic- even when the trend part is over. Make sure you’re thinking about fabrics and styles when buying these pieces this season, aim for styles that you’ll be able to wear year round.

  It’s fun to see these colors in an unexpected time (I’m sure there’s a theses about why these are the colors of spring, considering our morose moods of late). I’m loving my wardrobe being based in browns and off whites right now- it’s all still really neutral, still easy to add a pop of color (or a giraffe print shoe like I’m wearing in the above pic); a bit more warm than black, but just as easy.

• Speaking of easy- I was shopping with a client for party dresses, and I fell hard for this dress from Cinq a Sept. It’s giving Baby, in the corner but ready to dance with Johnny? It’s giving party, it’s giving fun, it’s giving everyone’s going to want to talk to you at the party. And its color is “lemon puff/ deep plum” and who can pass that up? You don’t even need accessories- barely!

  

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• And I FINALLY FOUND THE PERFECT TANK. Ellen and I have been on a hunt for this… for years. Bra coverage, not the most expensive, easy fit, dress her up, dress her down, wear her on her own or under a blazer, this is the piece I’ve been searching for. Every single one of you reading this should be clicking through.

  

  ---

More proof the 90s are back:

I saw Sofia Coppola’s documentary “Marc by Sofia” about Marc Jacobs the other day. In the theater. Go see movies in the theaters or we’ll never be able to do it again. (and yes, I put actual butter on my popcorn, sbb; it helps the nutritional yeast stick better). Marc smokes constantly- just like all of this 90s content is inspiring me to do (Carolyn Bessette!) Grunge was huge, Marc Jacobs was the bad boy giving it to us- remember smiley faces all over everything and that it was such a vibe???- and now he’s got a documentary, made by one his oldest, best friends.

This doc was fun, a nice watch, all pretty surface level, nothing groundbreaking. It was fun to revisit Marc’s career-lite, fun to see the fashions, the making of the shows (months of work for 7 minutes of a show!). The music, the cut to old movie scenes, the old flashes of grunge and fashion- and you also get a sense of how much Marc and Sofia care for each other, and how long they’ve known each other. It made me think about age and getting older and how we all chill out in one way or another- the punk grunge guy who blew it all up- people were so mad, they hated all of this at the time! - is now just a normal, older, slower man. I’ve talked about how I’m loving documentaries right now, and this was another one to add to the list- real life, on film. I loved seeing it, in the theater in particular.

Go to the movies! In a theater! It’s a fun thing to do! I mean, it’s the only time I’m one-screening it, if we’re being real. And popcorn and soda make for a great meal. Add peanut m&m’s if you need- for protein, obviously.

Not in the theater but equally fun and escapism has been the doc/show History of the Sitcom on HBO (via CNN). Lots of eps, perfect chilling out show, nothing serious is going on here- just a fun walk down memory lane.

Each episode is themed and they somehow are hitting them all. Every time I think that they’re going to forget to include a show, they’re right there, talking about it. Family Ties, Golden Girls, Eight Is Enough, Perfect Strangers, Alf, Clarissa the Teenage Witch, I Love Lucy, Seinfeld, Saved by the Bell- and I’m just scratching the surface- they literally hit it all (although… no mention of Vicki and Small Wonder yet- I wonder if they’ll hit that one, too).

Love Story ended- the JFK Jr / Carolyn Bessette one. I don’t know if you know this, but they died at the end. Womp womp. They put us in the plane??? That was… a choice.

I know I was so excited when this show started, the fashion, the New York, the smoking, all of it. Well, it’s over. It was fine, it was sad, it inspired a lot of think pieces. She could have had this huge life. And her sister, I know nothing more than I did when we started. And him, well, I understand who he probably was a bit better? But also… who knows what was real. It was fine. I’m glad I watched, I love being part of a cultural moment.

I’m curious to see who we focus on in this series next: supposedly they’re talking about Elizabeth Taylor & Richard Burton, Kurt Cobain & Courtney Love, Grace Kelly & Prince Rainier, David Bowie & Iman, Sonny & Cher, and Harry & Meghan. I had a weird idea: Brad and Angelina? But like, why? Who would you like to see in this type of story? What other couples am I obsessed with, would I care enough to watch 8 episodes on?

I HATE EVERYONE NAMED KYLE ON BRAVO

• Kyle #1 - Kyle Richards, star of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Kyle, one of the richest women on the show, sister of Kathy Hilton, a closeted lesbian (or quietly bisexual? it doesn’t matter, just tell us something, anything). She’s attempting to produce the show while in front of the cameras, she’s gossiping between the other women, she’s doing anything she can to… not tell us a single thing about herself. Which is totally fine- it’s her right to do so. Just get off my screen. We could all use a break. I wanted to smush her head between my thumb and forefinger this week.

  Anyone else feeling this way?

  

• Kyle #2. Kyle Cooke. Possibly the biggest bitch on all of Bravo. Boy Kyle. Star of Summer House, 43 years old (oldest in the home by too many years), in some stage of arrested development, drinks too much, stays out til 4am, soon to be ex-husband to Amanda after 6 years, recently started a DJ career and loves to complain about the toll his company has taken on him and how is wife is not supportive enough)

  

  Boy Kyle- you have a lot of shit to work through. Don’t call your wife a dumb ass bitch, ever. Stop drinking. Sell or close your business if it’s making you so unhappy- go DJ for the college kids. Do what you gotta do but I don’t want to see that on my screen. d

  I did love how West was checking in on Amanda- in a real way- but now I’m confused, did they or didn’t they!?!?!?

Subscribe now

That’s it from here, folks!!!!

The sun is setting on another round of musings.

Thanks for being here per usual, thanks for reading.

Please write me back- did you like, did you click, are you shopping for something you can’t find? Have you read or watched anything great, or not so great? What couples should they do the next series about??

Hit me up!

xoxoxo

ally

Ok ok. We’re all getting good at pivoting- I had this whole thing ready to go, but we must talk about Taylor Frankie Paul and The Bachelorette being cancelled.

I’ve had a few people reach out, asking for details- and I have them for you. I am uniquely prepared for this (along with a couple million other people who cross these two groups in a Venn Diagram).

My credentials: I’ve been an avid Bachelor and Bachelorette watcher since season 1 (March, 2002- you’re welcome, and no, we’re not sure if I’m ok) and I’ve been following and watching The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives (#Momtok) since the beginning, too That show premiered on September 6, 2024- and we’re on season 4, what is the actual timeline of life, but they’re deep in on this show. Shoutout to my text groups, specifically two, that have supported me along the way in this journey- you know who you are.

A quick-ish history of Taylor Frankie Paul and the Bachelorette, for those in the back.

Taylor Frankie Paul, a Utah influencer and Mormon mom, was announced as this season’s Bachelorette, the first to ever be cast from outside of Bachelor Nation.

Taylor became known in 2021- she and a group of young, pretty moms with matching hair, living in Utah, started dancing on TikTok as a group, and got internet famous as #Momtok. Then, in 2022, they all went viral as it came out that Taylor, the “leader” of Momtok, and her then-husband had been swinging with other Momtok couples; feelings were caught, marriages blew up, and a new reality show was born. That show, The Secret Lives of Mormon Lives, premiered on Hulu in 2024, and here we are- having just seen the entirety of season 4, which is following all the moms, including Taylor, in the months leading up to The Bachelorette. You heard me right. 4 seasons in less than 2 years- it’s no wonder I have no idea what day it is anymore.

Due to the success of the show- ABC cast Taylor as the Bachelorette- the first to ever come from outside of their world, it was a big deal. And this week, the week of the Bachelorette premiere, the first in 2 years, a video surfaced of Taylor, in 2023, throwing a metal stool, multiple times, at Dakota, her (ex?) boyfriend / 2nd baby daddy, in front of her older daughter. ABC, within 36 hours of the video being released, cancelled the (already filmed) season of the Bachelorette. The first episode had already dropped, people had seen it- and they cancelled the season, full stop (the ep is no longer on Hulu, I missed it, too).

We all knew of this DV incident from 2023- including everyone at ABC- because it happened during filming of Season 1, Episode 1 of the show- they literally kicked off the entire series of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives by introducing us to Taylor getting arrested in reference to the events in this video. There are now reports that there was a second alleged confrontation between Dakota and Taylor, at the end of February 2026; that a domestic assault investigation regarding Taylor and Dakota is underway, and that “allegations have been made in both directions.” And now, the women of The Secret Wives of Mormon Wives are refusing to continue filming their season with Taylor based on what went on that night. So this is a lot!!

We (my people!) have been tittering for the last few days, there are so many moving parts- confusion, emotions, parasocial relationships!! This is a huge deal, on so many levels. This has never happened in the history of the Bachelor franchise, one of ABC’s most popular shows that has spun off multiple franchises and anchored their lineup for years. (and DISNEY! FAMILY LOVING DISNEY! Who had a new president installed on WEDNESDAY OF THIS WEEK!).

So how did we get here?

Everything (ish) that you need to know about this show, and Taylor Frankie Paul, can be gleaned from the first 2 episodes of the series. She got arrested in season 1 over a domestic violence incident with Dakota, her then-boyfriend, in episode 1 (the video is from this night)- and then, 11 months later when they picked up filming episode 2, Taylor has a new baby (and her new, second baby daddy) in tow. We knew it all, they knew it - all of it.

Shout out to one of my podcasts, “2 Black Girls, 1 Rose”, for a wonderful episode titled ‘Is Taylor Frankie Paul The Most Ghetto Bachelorette We’ve Ever Had?”(recorded and aired before we knew of the cancellation) and the answer is a clear yes- for two reasons alone, but there are so many more.

The hosts didn’t know anything of our newest Bachelorette. So they watched the first 2 episdoes of her show, (Season 1, episodes 1 and 2) as recommended by their listening audience.

And… yes, yes, the answer is yes, she is the most ghetto we’ve ever had.

• Arrested for domestic violence- episode one (the night of the video that came up this week. WE ALREADY KNEW!)

• Babies with 2 daddies- the first is her ex-husband of swinging scandal fame, the second of whom (Dakota) is a recovering heroin and fentanyl addict

So anyway. Taylor and Momtok are going along, getting brand deals, making money, posting TikToks, having more babies, getting more and more popular. Whitney, one of the moms who was fully excommunicated season 1, is now back in the group, just went very far on this past season of Dancing with the Stars, and is now in an extended run in Chicago on Broadway. There is a possible redemption arc, this group allows for these things. Whit did it. Maybe Taylor can too. Point is- the women are not doing too shabby.

Meanwhile, for context, we’re watching the men in their lives get more and more red pilled as they struggle with their Mormon faith and their non-patriarchal family structures, and their now more powerful wives who out-earn and out-perform them at every turn and go against all of the teachings of their church and against all norms surrounding them in their communities. These men are handling it, but with less and less grace each day (we blame one of the husbands, Jordan, but his wife just filed for divorce, in the midst of this insanity, so we don’t have time to dwell, and also we’re grateful to be done with him).

And then there’s Dakota, who, in spite of not being a husband, is always around when the men get together, often with the wives present- setting up a lot of moments between Taylor and Dakota. These two are truly toxic- they fight, they flirt, they spiral, they complain, they sleep with each other, they do it all again. They can’t stay away, they’re addicted to the drama, to the hurt, to the power- I don’t know what this is but it’s wild to watch.

We are watching on Season 4 of Secret Lives- quite clearly- that Taylor is NOT READY to be the Bachelorette. This is not just because of Dakota. We watch her fight with her mom in ways that don’t feel good, she’s seeking out information on her biological father, days before leaving for months to film her next show- it’s all a lot. And she’s creating a lot of this mess herself.

Taylor needs therapy, she needs time away from her phone and her relationships, she needs a lot of help and support- she does not need to be dating 30 men surrounded by producers and a network trying to make an entertaining television show focused mostly on her at this juncture. This last season of Secret Lives basically ends with Taylor missing her flight to film The Bachelorette - because Dakota slept over. And they’re telling each other that they love each other. This… is not mentality any of us want in our Bachelorette! This is not the behavior of someone who is ok, at all.

Most confusing of all is that all of this “unscripted programming” is under the same umbrella- Hulu is ABC. Different production companies, but same overlord- someone could have (should have) stopped this. Secret Lives was filming up until she left to film the next show- and so much happened during this time that showed her to not be ok, not be ready - everyone involved had so many opportunities to pivot- and no one did. Until now, until it’s this late- 4 days before the show premiered.

The podcasts that I listen to that are devoted to this show, this universe, are sad, shocked, overwhelmed. They’ve devoted their livelihoods to this show- many businesses have. Production teams were brought in to edit the season- now they’re not needed. Brand deals were made that will never see the light of day, but someone will have to pay for it. Contestants left families, jobs, lives to come film this season- it feels that everyone involved was set up to fail in some way. This is why we’re all so tizzied up! I’m part of the problem, I get it, but somehow this is where we are.

Is that the explainer you needed? Do you feel prepared to go on with your day?

For more content and context, some of my podcasts:

Bachelor Party Podcast (they learn the news in real time as they’re recording to recap ep 1, with a previous Bachelorette co-hosting, really good listen)

2 Girls, 1 Rose (not yet current but that Is She Ghetto ep is a great intro)

Game of Roses (they are so sad! so much to figure out!)

BACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING

I’m sitting at a bar- with not nearly enough people- at 12:15pm on a Thursday. I even ordered a beer. I’m ok, and no, I don’t come to this place often.

Why am I here, you ask? It’s TOURNEY TIME! Best long weekend of the year! And I totally forgot about it and have to work. Every year, I want to park myself at a bar for 4 straight days and just be loud, drink shitty beer, and watch basketball. It is, simply put, the best. Best best best.

But, as I do every year, I forget to plan ahead, and I wind up having to squeeze my watching in when I can. So here I am- 2 hours before I meet with a client to go shopping, at a random pub in Hell’s Kitchen. Happy happy happy. There’s barely a game on yet and it doesn’t matter.

I did what they told me to do and picked UConn to win. Go Badgers, of course (that ended a bit sooner than I anticipated, first round guys, really?). I’m grateful to my friends who host a bracket every year, because without an office job I miss the camaraderie of things like this!! So thank you Tini’s Tourney run by MM (and NM but MM). You keep me in it for a few weeks at a time. I appreciate you.

We know that I watch a lot of reality TV. But something that I can’t stop thinking about- these women are crazy, quite often. But how often is it cycle-related? I know I go insane a few days before I start to bleed, and I know that this is true of many of us- and we’re not being paid and filmed to create drama on a screen.

So, without being all creepy Big Brother, I think we should have an awareness when they’re getting their periods. It would just explain so much. Groups of women, spending time together, could be spiraling together- and we would love to know it, I think it would only enhance the viewing experience.

Things that made me absolutely scream with joy this week (none of which were sex, in spite of how dirty, or exciting, that might have sounded). It’s all in relation to my television, I’m sorry to report.

• The HR boys in their VF Oscar Party outfits: they really brought it.

  

  They’ve really come so far in such a short time, I feel so proud of them. And now we can take a breath while they settle down, look back on the last 4 months (we have only known them for 4 months!) and hope they’re moving how they want to be.

• This one didn’t make me scream- well, kind of- but I found a new morning routine that is making me smile a lot more. It was introduced to me by my friend Rena- and it’s called… Bravo and Coffee (tm). Instead of the news, watch your fave shows with coffee in the AM. I have always had some weird rules about watching TV during the day- anyone else? Besides the Kennedys?

  Well, I did it. I turned on Bravo at 730am on a recent morning. And holy shit, did I have a great time spending my morning in the Hamptons with the Summer House crew, and the next morning, being in London with the new ladies on my screen. Today, coffee in hand, I am watching Andy, just sitting there smiling, as the Southern Charm kids start hurling insults at each other from the couch (Salley and Austen, you watched Heated Rivalry, in an innocent way? I’m literally dead)- with my coffee in hand, and I am thrilled by this happening, and my day takes on a different vibe as it continues on. And Craig was wearing a potion given to him by a magician in Nashville intended to block the negative energy coming his way at the reunion because he’s such an empath. I mean… can you imagine my great grandma reading that sentence?

  I did text Rena to ask “what am I supposed to look forward to later?” and she replied “that sounds like a later problem” which it absolutely was, and was solved without issue (thanks to #Momtok in this instance)- so watch your favorites in the morning if you can. Highly recommend.

• On Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, they packed for and then went to Italy. Watching Rachel Zoe pack is a dream. She speaks of wanting to retire and wear kaftans by the sea (in France)- and I will be joining her. I never knew that’s what I needed- but it is.

  And the thing that made me squeal? When Erika Jayne said “I want to know what Rachel thinks about twinning with Amanda, she probably burned that outfit” to say that I CACKLED is only kind of explaining the noise that I made. Erika, bringing it? News to me, but I’m here for it and this show is helping get me through the week.

  

• Love is Blind Reunion came out this past week. One podcast that I listen to- 2 Black Girls, 1 Rose- nailed it - they call one of the girls Megyn Kelly. Mic drop.

  If you watch, you don’t even need me to explain who they’re referring to, the most spot on thing I have ever heard, period of end of story. And then, our host Nick Lachey. He finally showed up, came to play, and was getting heated at the guys- how many times did he say “Man to man!”? And when he said, I want you to speak to him “Ohio boy to Ohio boy” with such conviction- I spat out my Spindrift.

  Vanessa did better than normal (although couldn’t our not white girlie pop have asked Davonte a couple more questions in the race department, because this man is one, not white, and two, only wanting to date white women?) - she pushed and asked for the details that I wanted to know - like trying to get to the bottom of Davonte’s baby situation. Who lives where, what the actual fuck? And good luck to everyone because this show is really something.

• New best Bravo show (possibly of all time?)- Ladies of London, have you watched yet?? Get on this, please trust.

  

  One reason it’s incredible? Well, Martha, above left, in the deep blue with the low cut dress- self described as “riches to rags to riches to rags”- has a fucking magpie as a pet (A BIRD) and it flies around, shits everywhere, and knows it’s name. One of her friends- one of the ladies!!- wore goggles when she came to visit and…. I want to do that, too. I’ve got the protection part covered, now I just need the invite to the grottage (she calls it this-gross plus cottage = grottage) and this is the best show on our televisions and that Oscar for casting has a new home because wow did they do a great job.

• Last thing: I CUT MY PIZZA WITH SCISSORS. And it was a game changer. Made me so happy, cut with such ease, so simple. Why did it take me so long? I watched someone do it on Instagram and went for it that night and just…I’m going to be cutting my pizza with scissors from now on. Highly recommend. Add to list.

I think this is good for this week- hope you’re good.

Will you watch any of my recs? Did I do good on the Taylor Frankie Paul explainer?

Thank you for being here, for making it, for supporting Bravo and Hulu and the Bach - I know that they appreciate your support. I definitely do.

xoxo hit me back

ally

I’ve been dying to talk to you, the sun helped me sit and do something about it. This is obviously a me problem, you have nothing to do with it. But I’ve been taking notes on things and I guess I’m feeling sustained enough, full of enough ideas, to come to you. Just stuff - the little important things - very very important- I think you must know.

We had a taste of spring- for a few days at least! High of 74 in the Big Apple on Weds! This feels like a BIG DEAL. My mood is definitely impacted- my allergies are hitting, too.

I am ready for this change of seasons. I’ve been getting so tired of wearing Big Blue - I love my big blue coat, but it’s so big, it’s getting dirty, it’s just A LOT to maneuver around in every day. I’m trying to sneak in other coats on days when there’s been a 3 in front of the high temp (30 and above: I believe in jackets based on 10 degree increments, we’ve discussed this before)- but in my old age and fear of being cold, I’m going back to an old standby that I haven’t done in quite some time… adding a scarf. This used to be a constant, then I stopped completely, it felt so freeing. And now, many years later… I’m circling back. Gently.

And then I can’t help but think of an article that I’d read in the New York Times not too long ago- Does your scarf make you look old?- because lord knows we don’t have enough to worry about.

I tend to just wrap it, have it hanging over both shoulders in the front- do you know what I’m saying? Per this article, I’m doing just fine. But then it got me thinking about scarves in general, I need to grow my collection again if I’m really going to start diving in.

And there’s one style that I’ve had my eye on now for a minute. It’s a bandana scarf- you can wear it scarf-like, around your neck, and/or then you can be like the downtown girlies on the Lower East Side (and LA), or just like their great-great grandmothers before them- to bring it all together, like how I know Jackie Kennedy would have worn it- tie it babushka style over your head. It’s like a hat, but less chill and more versatile and she’s just… giving. And also is a great transition piece for the next few months of “spring” when we never will quite be able to nail the layers.

The scarf below is the one that I’m coveting from Toast.

It’s wool cashmere, super soft, not heavy or chunky, it’s big, it comes in beautiful colors- I’m in love, I can see this being on my person for 3 seasons at minimum. On my head or around my neck. This color pictured below is gorgeous, but the navy is a classic option, too.

• I wrote about the Darryl Hannah portrayal (and Splash!) a couple of weeks ago in the show Love Story, the JFK Jr and Carolyn Bessette show. Well, team, the real Darryl has some thoughts of her own about the character “Darryl Hannah” portrayed in the show- the real Darryl wrote an op-ed in the New York Times. It does feel like they’re totally defaming her- she can’t quite sue due to needing to prove the negative impact of the storytelling- I’ve done a bit of diligence on your behalf, you’re welcome- but this is a good reminder (for me) that no one who wrote this show was in those rooms and that this entire show is a work of fiction. It’s still utterly watchable and I’m here til the end.

• Also, a whole new generation is discovering JFK Jr and Carolyn from the show- we know this because…. there was a JFK Jr lookalike contest in Washington Square Park in NYC last weekend. Thank you for the content.

  

• Back to Jackie again- the nostalgia is hitting hard- I was reminded of a book that I’d read a bit ago called The Editor by Steven Rowley, about a writer and his relationship with his editor, who is definitely loosely based on our girl Jackie. A good enough read!

• Warm weather/ sun. We had 2 days in a row in NYC that felt like 70 and sunny outside, and I’m got myself OUT. Walking! People! Living their lives! In spite of the world and events- people are walking, laughing, smiling, crying, honking- living their lives. It’s so good to get outside and remember that life is happening all around us and not just the headlines. I needed this. I am done being cold. (ed note: I am cold again).

• I’m watching documentaries to help calm my brain- and music docs in particular for some reason are great watches for me. Two that I really liked recently:

  • Immediate Family- about a group of studio musicians who worked on a ton of albums that we grew up on. James Taylor, Phil Collins, Carole King, Linda Ronstadt, Stevie Nicks and more musicians are featured, the music is wonderful, highly recommend.

  • The History of Comedy: (watching on HBO) I’m really appreciating the different episodes all having a different POV, a different theme, and how I’m reliving some memories, seeing familiar faces, and giggling the whole time.

• I miss DVR. I want to come home and not have to think about what shows I need to watch, I want it all just there, listed for me to press play on. And to find a show without having to search multiple services for it, and just so much about cable. Scrolling the guide, the previous channel button- this may be what I miss the most, I’m a flipper. I was a flipper, I guess. But the one thing I don’t miss, commercials. You can keep them. (I MISS DVR IN PART BECAUSE IT WAS SET TO RECORD A FRIAR’S CLUB ROAST ANYTIME IT WAS ON AND I LOVE ROASTS THEREFORE I LOVE THE COMEDY DOC I MENTIONED ABOVE)

• I was listening to one of my fave Bravo podcasts- Andy’s Girls with Sarah Galli- and her guest Brian Moylan, noted Housewives scholar, said one of the greatest things that I’ve ever heard suggested. “GIVE US A HOUSEWIVES SEASON OF TRAITORS” (he said that- ish, not a direct quote). That’s all. How good. (Also, note on Housewives playing Traitors- they play differently, they can’t leave the game at home, their game is always being played- different than the gamers. totally tracks, don’t you tink?). Andy, are you listening?

  

• Bravo gossip: New New York Housewives announced!! But why is Jon Gosselin back in my life? WHY. Because, at some point in the past, he dated one of the new New York City Housewives who was just announced- and she also has a weird, seemingly parasocial history with Claudia Oshry (controversial as Claudia - aka Girl With No Job- may be, this happened!) Am I excited? Maybe. This is a lot, could go a lot of ways. Thoughts? The cast announcement everyone is talking about though- is Carole Radziwill. Carole, clearly feeling left out of our current Love Story obsession, needed something, and is coming back to the show as a “friend of”- and as another fave pod, Come Thru Queen, pointed out, very astutely- “Who is Carole actually a friend of? Who?” She’s 20 years older than everyone on the show. No ageism here, just why, how, will this work? I’ll tune in and let you know.

• Another thing to listen to , this time it’s the news: I’m needing little hits of news and understanding of politics right now- no deep diving for me, there’s too much, too many moving parts, my brain needs a bit of a break. HOWEVER. I’ve been enjoying this podcast from Sarah Longwell- a used-to-be-Republican pollster whose focus is focus groups. I find her takes so interesting, she’s talking to real people and getting their stories in ways I never will- and as an ex-Republican, she has insights that I don’t. If you’re looking for a hit of something- Focus Group with Sarah Longwell could be a good one to try.

• The Rise and Fall of Reggie Dinkins on Peacock keeps making me laugh, like truly. Tracy Morgan plays an ex-NFL star whose career ended due a cheating scandal, Daniel Radcliffe is the documentarian he hired to help turn his image around, Bobby Moynihan is an old teammate who lives in his basement, and Erika Alexander is his ex-wife and current manager. It’s just funny. Try it. Laughing never hurt anyone. 30 Rock-type humor, a joke a second, who can be mad at that?

OK team. I think that’s it from here.

I’m outfit repeating all week- made the change in weather so much easier to manage and I got on the door almost on time.

Last thing: Before you shop for spring, get reaquainted with your closet!!

I can help! Don’t panic!

We can be strategic and smart! email me and let’s set up some time.

Thank you - as always- for being here.

Send recs if you have them. For almost anything.

How many typos did I leave in this week?

xoxoxo

ally

I want to talk to you about the television that I’ve been watching.

But you guys. This Epstein stuff - without seeking it out- is coming at me fast and hard. Where’s the line, what the actual fuck is happening? Crime is a wild, societal construct, made even more clear as one headline on the NYT front page is about white men behaving badly (aka anything Epstein related) with no repercussions, and the next one is innocent people being kidnapped and disappeared, having never committed a crime- and yet we go on with our days. One headline is about Iran monitoring it’s citizens, and the next is about DHS using video surveillance on it’s citizens, but we can’t reconcile the two, see how it’s the same thing, how we’re following in these regimes’ footsteps. Are we about to go to war in the Middle East? Sounds like maybe? Just a plea to remain aware, keep up, keep an eye out. Use your power but with kindness and empathy? And then… disassociate with me.

And yes, I do cartwheels sometimes, it’s part of the disassociating, I guess? It’s not weird per se, interesting maybe?- but I think there’s something about inversion that works for me. It feels oddly good, too, like a great stretch, or a reminder of muscles that I might have forgotten about. They’re empowering to me.

And then I googled it. Today, for the very first time. To see if I’m crazy or not.

“Google,” I asked, “Why do cartwheels feel good”? And this is what AI told me (I guzzled some water at the same time, felt right).

“Cartwheels feel good because they stimulate the body’s vestibular (balance) and proprioceptive (spatial awareness) systems while releasing endorphins, serotonin, and dopamine. This 360-degree,, upside-down movement offers a playful,, fleeting escape from daily stresses, inducing a sense of joy and freedom while improving coordination and strength”

So I know that we all agree that I can be crazy, but in this instance… I’m not. Try one. But don’t hurt yourself.

WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE IF YOU WERE ME?

I got home on Thursday night, and like everything else, it’s the 90s again- Must See TV, blowing up my TV on a Thursday- just no David Schwimmer in sight. So many shows to watch, big TV night, and I froze.

What would you do? Which of my loves would I choose?

I sit down on my couch, turn on my TV : and I had a big decision to make.

It was between: Traitors vs Love Story Ep 4 (JFK Jr/Carolyn Bessette) vs Summer House vs Love Island All Stars UK vs RHOBH vs Olympics Skating vs CSI reruns and I just did not know what to do, I could not make a decision.

*please note what is not listed here, a certain gay hockey show! be proud of me!

**what a time to be alive! so many choices!

Drumroll please!

I went with …… CSI reruns.

This show is my latest comfort watch, a great 2, 3 screen show, the procedural that I can have on in the background all day long, I can do anything and everything or nothing at all while it’s on; it somehow soothes my brain. I used to do this with Law & Order, then Law & Order Criminal Intent, then Law & Order SVU, until they all got too disturbing as I understood history more and more, and the sexual stuff on SVU started to worm into the brain a little bit more than required.

CSIs however- they care about the evidence. They don’t get it wrong because they’re reading the room, literally. They’re not often dealing with wrongly charged defendants, or they’re exonerating them if they are. What I’m saying is, it’s a police procedural without the heaviness of knowing what we know now - I can just watch them learn about the crime, collect evidence on the crime, and usually solve the crime. And then the next episode starts and we do it all over again.

CSI was originally based in Las Vegas, and a few sequels followed including CSI NY- but the real juice I’m here to share is that CSI Miami is where it’s at.

Do you remember David Caruso? He got his start on NYPD Blue (how old am I!) - he’s the intense red-head cop. Well- on this show, he makes me actually laugh out loud- and not intentionally. The number of scenes per episode where he’s just standing, with some dramatic background, staring at the floor, or dramatically pausing, or removing his sunglasses- it should be studied, it should be counted, it should be your new favorite drinking game. The way this man overplays this role- I am grateful, I am seated, and I am happily existing with this as my current soundtrack.

Snow Day Update: I thought of so many more shows to add the list above

• Below Deck Down Under (Real Housewives of Salt Lake City episodes 1-3 in particular)- I WAS SO HAPPY TO HAVE MY GIRLS BACK ON MY SCREEN.

• America’s Next Top Model Doc on Netflix (once I start I’ll be glad I did but think it will be hard to watch, too?)

• Love Is Blind (sounds awful but necessary to watch… agree?)

• The Valley: Persian Style (and the upcoming THE VALLEY (ORIGINAL STYLE))

• And I didn’t even get to the good stuff, aka any prestige shows I think I should be watching.

Snow Day Update #2. I’d already started watching Love Story, the “Ryan Murphy” show about JFK Jr and Carolyn Bessette. I’m happy to be here. It may be wrong, it may be Ryan Murphy (not news, he jumped the shark a loooooong time ago), but it’s more than entertaining and they’re a name that we, as a people, can’t get enough of. And, the more I watch, the less Ryan Murphy this show is giving me, in a good way- he’s just a name attached. And one of my fave pods, the Prestige TV Podcast, is covering it and I love Joanna Robinson, the host.

Pondering this show, this couple; they died the summer that I graduated college, July of ‘99 (I was in Madison, post graduation, and I’m now thinking about Starbucks whole milk, Joey and conferences, a road trip to Ohio with walkie talkies in not my car, State St Brats and the Knicks). What a time this was! Go Badgers!

I’m understanding now that my memories of these two are mostly thanks to People magazine. We didn’t have social media and celebrity culture and the paparazzi were not quite yet where we know they wound up. So I’d see pictures, I’d read the stories, but I was still a kid, I hadn’t lived in NYC yet, I wasn’t plugged in for the inside scoop like I might have been.

We all freaked for the wedding dress, thought she was chic and gorgeous, dreamt about him- but we didn’t know their inside lives, didn’t know their voices, didn’t have video clips to refer to like we would today. So this show is scratching an itch from a time when we weren’t able to scratch it ourselves.

All of which makes this an interesting exercise, watching (grappling with) this show. She’s an elusive character - I don’t think I’d ever thought about what her personality was actually like?- and now we kind of understand why he was so intrigued (she seemed to pull attention in most rooms she entered). And to think of JFK Jr as an actual person, it’s almost giving me a Prince Harry vibe- how was he ever supposed to succeed, what was he prepared for, he had the weight of the world on his shoulders? How could he have known what he wanted when his life was what we all know it to have been? I’ve been enjoying thinking about them as people in a way that I didn’t at the time. How much of this is real, how much of it isn’t, where did they get the source material and how true can a conversation between two people be if neither of them is here to tell us what actually happened? I don’t have answers, but it’s still fun to dream, to imagine- and to watch.

The first 3 eps were a lot more Jackie than I was expecting, a lot more Darryl Hannah than I’d have guessed (who I had totally forgotten about playing a role in this story at all). There is no way she’s feeling good about how she’s being portrayed, as the most dense human, or most vapid celebrity, ever- take your pick. And the actress playing her is Marie Hemingway’s daughter? That’s a great-great-great nepo baby, I think?

Episode 4 is where we start to get more of the two of them actually falling in love- I was riveted. Lost my phone for an hour riveted. I’m loving thinking of her as a person and not just the towering blonde. The vibes at her work (Calvin!) feel real, she’s playing hard to get but falling in love. We get John and Caroline (sister) having some real talks, too- it’s all happening, we’re getting a show that we’ve dreamt of! Is it real? Do I care?

My favorite character, unsurprisingly, may be New York City in the 90s- or is it the soundtrack because holy wow it’s a trip? Or is it both of them, combined, all while fighting the urge to smoke a cigarette? It feels like a dream- everyone is smoking, everywhere they go, that’s the dreamiest part. Calgon…take me away, take me back, get me here at all! Reminding me of what I missed out on- was I a few years too late, somehow? I love the vibes - the fashion, the restaurants, the New York City streets, the Annette Bening, the music of it all. Taxis still mattered, maybe those are the most important characters of all.

Speaking of Daryl Hannah… I was back on the pop culture beat on Inside and Outside with Jessica Murnane this week! And we talked about the movie Splash (my hot take was always “EW”). And butterflies (also ew). And just a little Heated Rivalry. And Tell Me Lies. Plus a lot more.

Listen to us talk and laugh a lot here (this links to Spotify, but we’re on Apple, too!)

Other things keeping me distracted and not depressed:

• I had a great New York night - fun dinner and a show with an old friend- such a great reminder of why we love it here. An old friend and I had a night- we went to a chill spot in the Theater District, had wonderful martinis (same order: lightly dirty, ketel one, up) and steak frites, mid-rare (even though he said Bobby Flay taught him to order them medium these days because we’re not rendering the fat approriately) and a tattoo tour with our lovely server, then to O Mary on Broadway- I smiled the whole time! Highly recommend! (also he gifted me wth also loving Heated Rivalry and letting me talk about for 1.5 of the 2 martinis). I love New York, it was one of those nights.

  Also, it’s very worth having me join in your shows, your road trips, a walk- trust me on this one, and no, it’s not just the stimulating conversation that I bring.

  I am the snack lady, it’s always a nice, well rounded selection, a little something for everyone- including my show family, aka if you’re sitting next to me you’ll get in on the snackage, too. There’s a little bit of everything- sour gummies and regular ones, chocolate (good and not), gum in multiple flavors, a little something for all your tastes.

  

• I’m still here for Love Island UK All Stars, we have one or two eps to go- and I’m at the part of the season where I crave it, I need it, 24 hours is too long to wait for the next ep. And I’m here for Sean and Cinds? Am I ok??

• Traitors is nearing it’s end, everyone is just now remembering that Rob could be a Traitor, and I think that’s why we love this show. Also, it’s kind of genius that Tara Lipinski and Jonny Weir are still here, as the Olympics are airing, and that they’re still kicking it at the castle is almost funny. I saw a tweet comparing them to Romy and Michelle trying to figure out a murder and… it’s not wrong.

• Real Housewives of Potomoc: we’re at the reunion now, the last ep of the season was an instant classic in Real Housewives history, Stacy Rusch is one of the greatest housewives to do it.

• Summer House: Kyle continues to melt down and be a typical white male pussy, I have such strong dislike for this manchild. We all want Amanda to go find gorgeous, stoney success on her own. Also CIARA AND WEST PLEASE BE TOGETHER.

• I made myself a delicious little salad that I had to share - I threw something together which is totally out of character, I was so very proud. Arugula-rice-walunts-chickpeas-dried cranberries-lemon-olive oil- salt. YUM. Fed me for a good few days. Reminding me of a favorite delivery order from my East Village days- New York nostalgia isn’t just from Love Story and JFK/Carolyn

  Arugula is my favorite green of the moment, the more peppery, the better. Try it, tweak it, but know I have at least 2 more of these in me this week.

  

I think that’s good for now-

please let me know what you liked, what you didn’t, and thank you for being here.

I appreciate it so much.

Also, thanks (or no thanks?) for not letting me know about my big bunny big mistake last time!

thank you, i appreciate you, xoxox

ally

I’ve been putting off writing this email again for a couple of weeks, been trying to get back on track, working on being consistent and having accountability- concepts that are hard for me. But this time it felt valid, for a few days at least. Alex Pretti got killed as I was trying to write (it was only a few weeks ago, it’s crazy, what is time!).

I sat, I tried, I didn’t have words (still don’t), I didn’t have understanding (still don’t), I didn’t know what to say and how to say it (still don’t), how to think about anything at all (still not sure) and how should my time be spent (still noodling on dumb shit.)

I keep thinking that I want to acknowledge what’s going on- how can we not- but also, my days have only been moderately impacted. I’m staying educated, I’m going to ICE observer trainings, I’m doing my yelling on IG (follow me @allydevin if you dare). But I also don’t know what to do, I feel useless, I feel helpless, I want to zone out.

I read this email from The Bulwark, which filled me up (from Jan 23- only two weeks ago how?). We’re going to be ok??

(the below is taken from that email, which was taken from a bluesky thread by podcaster Margaret Killjoy who was on the ground in Minneapolis a couple of weeks ago. )

I came to Minneapolis to report on what’s going on, and one of the main questions I showed up with is “just what is the scale of the resistance?” After all, we’re all used to the news calling Portland a “war zone” or whatever when it’s just some protests in one part of town.

I got in late last night. First thing this morning, I saw cars following an ice vehicle down the street, honking at it.

Later, we didn’t drive more than three blocks before we found people defending a childcare facility. (The idea that people have to defend a childcare facility... let that sink in)

Half the street corners around here have people--from every walk of life, including republicans--standing guard to watch for suspicious vehicles, which are reported to a robust and entirely decentralized network that tracks ICE vehicles and mobilizes responders.

I have been actively involved in protest movements for 24 years. I have never seen anything approaching this scale. Minneapolis is not accepting what’s happening here. ICE fucking murdered a woman for participating in this, and all that did is bring out more people, from more walks of life.

It’s genuinely a leaderless (or leaderful) movement, decentralized in a way that the state is absolutely unequipped to handle. There are a few basic skills involved, and so people teach each other those skills, and people are collectively refining them. . . .

I’ve been here 24 hours, but already with what I’ve seen, well, I genuinely believe we’re going to win. People here are well aware that what happens here impacts the entire country, that it sets the tone for resistance. ICE is angry, ICE is terrified, of how deeply unpopular it is.

I’ve never seen a population more united. If people can hold onto that unity, if people can accept that different people will have different ways of confronting fascism, if we can remind NGOs and orgs that they can join but not control the resistance, then, well, people here will write history.

Community, neighborhood, neighbors. It all boils down to that. I feel this every time I go to a protest- surrounded by people all wanting, walking, screaming, arching, the same thing- it’s a really special feeling. I really believe we all want similar things, deep down. And this just helps me believe that a little bit longer. It also makes me think of something that I’ve been obsessed with since seeing it the first time- Midwesterners are nice, New Yorkers are kind.

I observe this on the regular. Every time I come home from the Midwest, and it takes me a couple of days to stop staying hi to literally everyone I pass on the street (please understand how this reads in NYC, it’s weird). Just a hi, just an adknowlegement, an I see you. But then, I go down the stairs of the subway, and I watch a stranger help a mom carry her stroller down the stairs, I see someone hold the doors of the train for the last couple of stragglers, I see people making room no matter how crowded that train car feels at rush hour, helping a lost looking tourist with directions on a street corner. In the Midwest, we wave, but from a distance; in New York, we make room- community exists everywhere somehow, and I believe that this exact thing is what will get us out of this fucking shitty phase we’re in.

And shout out to Big Bunny who brought straight up joy and community (AMERICA! More than just the USA!) to the Superbowl halftime show- I don’t know how one can deny that, it was spectaculRr

I was today (48) years old when I learned that the only reason we have these big halftime shows is because In Living Color (remember that show?) made an episode that pulled viewers away during halftime of Superbowl XXVI (AO lol) and the next year the NFL brought Michael Jackson to ensure it wouldn’t happen again? I had no idea, did not compute. But great factoid, if I do say so.

And life does go on- especially if you, like me, get excited thinking about the reality tv that’s about to take me through to summer (follow me in my happy corner, @allysonholleb it’s a lot more fun). I’ve got Love Island, Real Housewives of Rhode Island, The Bachelorette, Summer House, The Valley -all still to come, plus more that I know I’m not thinking of- and then I’m back in 80 degree weather, and somehow, this gives me enough keep going, and I’ll take it.

Also, martinis and french fries are really pulling their weight these days.

I’ve been spending a lot of time staring at screens. My screen time app judges me enough, I don’t need yours too- but I saw this on IG and I AM HOLDING ON FOR DEAR LIFE so thank you @georje_porgie

So here are some micro-joys that I’m definitely not making myself feel bad about. And people, community, are part of it. A lot of comfort in food, too, leave me out of it.

• Summer House on Bravo. You guys- this might be the moment actually I start my podcast, this premiere episode gave me what I came for, it was SO GOOD. It’s “be mean to Kyle” summer and I’m missing Paige specifically for that, but thrilled with most everything else that they gave us (except Carl’s veneers, we could tone those down)- and it’s only EP ONE! Hard to be a newbie on this show, but are Ciara and West back in love? Jesse is annoying but I can handle him for now, Amanda is coming into herself, and the Aussie hottie Ben, well, G’day mate, welcome, we’re thrilled you’re here.

• Heated Rivalry. I’m still here. I can’t help it. I read all the books- devoured the series, I maybe watched the show again a couple of times- it’s becoming the best (only) background I want. Times are tough and this chills my brain, if you haven’t watched it at minimum one time (I think 3 may be the ideal viewing number but let me know), just, please, leave me alone. (One of the fans who makes edits (ask me if you want to know more) JUST GOT HIRED BY HBO. This is serious, people). I listened to this episode of the Glamorous Trash podcast - about both the books AND the show- I loved it, anything good to keep feeding this habit! The podcast I listen to often- she reviews/book clubs celebrity memoirs and if that’s your jam, get in there- this ep had a bookseller, a tv producer, a writer; they covered all sides, more of this please and thank you.

• Other books: I’m trying to find something else to read: but my brain is having a hard time: PLEASE HELP, SEND SUGGESTIONS of mildly meaty books where not too much bad happens. Currently trying a bit more serious with Free Food for Millionaires by Min Jin Lee (thanks AO) who wrote Pachinko. It’s good so far, I’m not feeling gripped but I think that’s a me problem, not the book’s. I just started another Christina Lauren- My Favorite Half-Night Stand, and I’m in much quicker. I’m like, oh right, the women wrote the boyfriend (i.e. romance novels in general) and I like it here. I’ll keep you posted.

• This pizza had me puzzled but it ended on I’m SOLD. Lots of dill for the dill-lovers of us. Dipped in the best ranch- even better.

  

• It’s been so fucking cold here that nothing matters (in the how you look department, I mean) except staying warm. So now I, too, want a pair of snow pants that are big enough to step into over all of my clothes and puffer. Starting the hunt soon. I would move on from big blue if I could find these.

  

• I COOKED SOMETHING. It’s the year of cabbage, have you heard? I always have one in my fridge. So I decided to do something with it. And ate it while watching The Traitors. My sad self hasn’t really been in the mood- so we’re chalking this up as a major win. This recipe is a favorite that doesn’t look delicious but is truly a crowd pleaser.

  Roasted Cabbage with Walnuts and Parmesan from Smitten Kitchen- somehow this made my night, I had all of the ingredients on hand- it was thrilling. I am not patient enough and should have let the cabbage roast longer, get real crispy. Alan’s feathers and dramatics helped me forget. Little things! I was screaming (laughing!) at the challenge last week of them recreating the artworks. This show, we are thankful for you.

• This guy made me want to hop in the bag with him.

• Last time I’ll bring this up but it was too good to let lie.

  

I think that’s it for this go-round.

Did you notice that I named this little thing? Do you like where I took it? We’re (just me, feel better when I say we) testing it out, please holler at me- or use the nifty poll I just learned about below.

Hope everyone is staying sane, being kind and showing love to those around you. And staying warm. And eating all the fries they want

And send book recs, please!

Thanks for being here, per usual.

xoxo

ally

One thing I want to be sure you noted this week (actually, just yesterday ARGH) - Mark Carney’s speech before the Davos forum- I think that this will be a moment we look back upon. The PM of Canada, our closest ally, had a lot to say and it’s worth finding a recap or analysis if you can. The world order is shifting in ways we won’t understand until we’re able to look back- and yet… life goes on and I watch reality TV and laugh at dinner with my friends and go to work and buy a sandwich for lunch, plan for the next bat mitzvah party, beg my nephew to talk to me on FaceTime.

Life keeps life-ing.

In the meantime, let’s DISASSOCIATE, together.

This is fascinating for all, I am sure. But it’s also all I’ve got at this juncture.

• Strangers, A Memoir of a Marriage by Bella Burden.

  This book wow wow wow, took me 2 days. SB made me listen to it- I’m kind of mad, more so glad. I was feeling so much frustration towards the author as I read it, as she tells us the story of her marriage and it’s ending in the first weeks of Covid in March, 2020.

  And then, 80% in, I calmed down. I realized I was mad at her about things that felt too close, too familiar (hi mom!) - and that it’s actually a story about the patriarchy and being a “good girl” and how we navigate at the end of the day. I listened to it: recommend!

  She’s from a very New-York-y family so there’s some fun society stuff and names that you may recognize, too. Also note- she’s more than ok, this is not a tragic ending.

• Game Changers Collection: aka Heated Rivalry books 1-3, by Rachel Reid.

  You knew I couldn’t fully be recovered just yet.

  Rachel Reid has created a world where half of the NHL is gay, and it’s so nice being here, where characters can stand up for themselves in the locker room, where they can be out but not have it define their story. I know I’m late here, but it’s my usual genre of easy love stories where nothing tragically bad happens, with a lot of sex thrown in- so I will be spending some more time here, if you’re looking for me.

  

  We get Kip and Scott’s story in book 1, our boys Shane and Ilya (almost word for word!) in book 2, and then are introduced to our new favorite defender in book 3. I’m waiting to get to Shane and Ilya’s next book, 10 years later… you know I’ll keep you posted.

  I love getting to understand why some phenomenons happen, and if you’re like me wondering- why are there so many romance novels taking place in a hockey world? I got you.

  There are think pieces (before 2025!), I have read many of them: the violence of the sport is a perfect contrast to a loving relationship, the contrast between tough exterior and vulnerable interior, the males all play alpha when on the ice- and in spite of this alpha, we get to watch them be gentle, kind, loving- before and after the game. Also the players are BUILT and there’s a lot of talk as to their physique in these books. When I used to sell clothes to men we would always have to ask about “hockey thighs” - it came up more than you’d think- to help understand their body type and how we could find them the right pants to fit, in particular. It’s a thing.

• The Beckhams are fighting (and not in a hockey way)!

  

  Are you up on this, what’s been going on? This podcast (one of my weeklies) is always up on the Beckhams and they do a great job recapping the whole thing if you need a full breakdown.

  Quick recap: since Brooklyn (the eldest child of Victoria and David) married Nicola Peltz (daugher of billionaire Nelson) in 2022- he’s been beefing with the family. It seems that it all stemmed from the wedding. Things that have been simmering since then.

  Why didn’t Nicola have her mum-in-law design her wedding dress? Did Victoria actually deny her (consensus is no based on this Vogue article about her year long wedding dress design from Valentino) Who did Marc Anthony call “the most beautiful woman in the room” after serenading the wedding party? How exactly does Victoria dance in a way that made Brooklyn so uncomfortable? WE DON’T ACTUALLY KNOW but I’m here to eat all the scraps that they’re feeding us. And how is there no cell phone footage of this 500 person event?

  In the last year, Brooklyn has boycotted every family event that we have seen them together at, including his dad’s knighting ceremony and his 50th birthday- and then this week he decided to tell us all why, in a series of posts on Instagram. He lost me in the last sentence, about wanting a life without the press, when I believe (as of today! convince me that I’m wrong, please!) that his wife loves to leak things to Page Six. She also threw herself a second wedding to make herself feel better about the first one (where she went through 3 event planners and sued one), so we’ve got ourselves a type here, people.

  The other thing working against these newlyweds was that both Beckham parents had wonderful documentaries (propaganda?) made about them (both Victoria and David)- both which I really enjoyed… so these kids have quite a hill to climb to convince us otherwise- and there’s always three sides to every story. Ya know?

  I am grateful to Brooklyn for doing this on Instagram for my entertainment, but I can also admit that it’s sad to see a family fight like this- both things can be true. You’re welcome.

• Traitors US- are you watching? Light spoilers ahead!

  Colton is gay (we originally knew him as the Bachelor where he dated 30 women)- and then he stalked his ex-girlfriend! Yet he’s on my screen and everyone’s being nice! Except for Michael Rapoport- anyone who didn’t identify as straight (plus half the room) were made incredibly uncomfortable by his talking- watch your mouth buddy. Donna Kelce is gone! Dorinda needs martinis, she’s boring me! Rob never needs to wear a shirt, ever again! Alan and his costumes bringing life to breakfast, every day.

  And GET THESE PEOPLE MORE SMOKED SALMON, there’s no need for them to be playing Hunger Games every morning, they have enough to do all day.

  

• Love Island UK All Stars

  We were postponed a few days due to wildfires in South Africa- but we’re back! And as I feel each season, but forget every single time… there are So. Many. Butts (and other skin). On. Screen. All of the time.

  

  The girls are all wearing teeny bikinis and their butts are just everywhere, and the dudes are shirts off 80% of the show. Not much has happened yet but this show giving me the hours that it does are helping me understand that I WILL MAKE IT ‘TIL SPRING. I’m riding this wave, so thank you Love Island.

  Side bar: they always wear shoes, even in their bathing suits, and I have so many questions why they’re never barefoot. Anyone else?

• Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. My Heated Rivalry fever forced me to forget JUST HOW GOOD THIS SEASON WAS.

  

  John Oliver is an even bigger fan than me, he’s smarter too, listen to him talk about it- he does any chance he can- and he reminds me, each and every time, why we love this show.

  BEN AFFLECK IS INVOLVED even though he doesn’t understand why or what we’re talking about.

  The things that happen here- you truly couldn’t script this, no one would believe you, they’d kick you out of the writer’s room. And the woman who was originally charged with leading a cult? Well- we’ve all moved on. Come with us. The perfect gift for the winter doldrums, give it to yourself. We’ve left Greece, we’ve entered the reunion, there is too much fighting, and we’re waiting for Andy to walk off because we know it’s coming and we don’t blame him. If this sentence means anything to you, or not- I still think you should watch.

• Diner catch up with an old friend over what I’m calling “the Perfect Diner Order”: 1. Meet an old friend. 2. Split a turkey club and a tuna melt (half on rye half on wheat because they’re nice like that). 3. Diet cokes for the table.

  Only thing we were missing was a pancake for the table, but we did end with hot chocolate- so something went right.

• Eating tuna salad (egg salad could work here, too) directly out of a tub with (preferably jalapeno) chips as a utensil, all you need is a napkin. And a Diet Coke to round it all out. Highly recommend. Nothing matters anymore. Go for it.

• Football! What a weekend! Even Indiana University got in on the fun! Thank you Bears for a great season.

• HARRY STYLES HAS NEW MUSIC AND A RESIDENCY COMING UP

  (and in a similar vein Robinne Lee who wrote The Idea of You announced a new book coming out this year!). Things are happening. The only reason this isn’t top of the list is that it’s still just words - I need more and I’ll move it up up up.

  

• Also the owl trend on TikTok is really making me laugh, if you need something to giggle at for a few minutes or a few hours. It’s people saying “who” in any different matter you can imagine and it’s wonderful.

• #2016 (are you up on this one?)

  People are posting pics of themselves from 2016- see my ice skating pic from the top)- it’s really fun to go back and see what was happening during any specific time, so this is fun to scroll through the album. My fave pic I found? It’s this one.

  

I hope this was a few minutes of lightness today.

tell me what i can do for you!

thank you for being here

xoxoxo

ally