curated & arranged

then free in the wind of a wild horse

an echo back and forward

behave, be quiet, be contained

until it follows along my spine

forming me concave

if I release it who is the witness?

and yet

suppression of the water suppresses the seed

restraint of the scream amplifies the shame

aloneness competes with belonging

may this echo forward be under a new spell

of unconditional vastness held

identity without veil or microphone

mercurial bridge to inner and outer

woven through the cord along

Felt raw writing and creating this. Lots of introspection during this eclipse season.

This was written from the in-between.

Check out the next Inner World Excerpt at the end of September

Thank you for reading!

♥ Vickie

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For months I’ve been actively trying to stay mentally aware during the process of falling asleep out of curiosity and with the hope of entering a lucid dream. This practice wove itself into my dreamscape recently.

The other night I woke from a dream in which I was laying down to sleep while trying to stay mentally aware of the transition into sleep. The process was feeling a bit boring until a dream landscape appeared, first like a screen in front of my eyes and then like a world I could enter into (within a dream!).

I find myself in an old English village within a play that has a Shakespearean feel to it.

I follow a few dream characters through the village during the daytime, as they pass by shops and say their hellos. We walk along cobblestone streets heading toward a quieter area. They stop in one building which feels like a gathering hall of some kind and a dream character, an older blonde woman beside me, says one of her only lines in the play:

“Night blooms so swiftly”

Her words struck me emotionally which caused the dream to destabilize.

I woke up from the play scene (still within the dream) and decided to try my best to conjure the dreamscape up again.

So I lay down to fall asleep while images reappear and suddenly I’m walking along the village street.

Interestingly we follow the same village sequence and head back to the gathering hall where I expect the lady to say the same beautiful line. Instead this time she seems a bit detached to the play and musters a different sentence. These words lacked any emotional resonance and therefore I have forgotten them. In the dream I feel disappointed and wonder how she could forget that original beautiful line and why she was so distracted or disinterested this time around.

This dream stuck with me throughout the entire day.

I kept repeating the line to myself and contemplating the totality of the dream itself.

I have been thinking about death a lot recently. My grandma is not very healthy and I’ve had some troubling dreams about her health over the last few months. I also have been reflecting on my choices in life and how I can make the most out of life as time goes by so quickly. Having a child has shown me the speed at which life can pass by.

So I feel that some of the wisdom within this dream may be gesturing toward Momento mori - remember you will die. Night blooms so swiftly.

If “all the world’s a stage”, then this dream has me wondering: how am I showing up to play my part?

with presence and engagement?

or with half conscious routine?

I also find myself pondering on night blooming flowers and their special qualities.

Evening primrose comes to mind right away…

I have been drawn to this wonderful plant since moving to BC. We were renting a lovely character home and had spent a lot of time tending to the garden and weeding. I almost removed a patch of plants from under a tree out back but decided to keep them to see what they would look like later in the summer. One night in our backyard after dinner we sat outside by the tree. I noticed one of the buds of this plant begin to slowly twist open and after a few minutes of this gentle twisting motion out popped an incredible yellow flower. Then another and another! It was mesmerizing watching the flower buds twist open and come to life while the sky filled with a pink sunset.

Night blooming flowers are uniquely attuned to the nocturnal world. They reflect moonlight off of their lightly colored petals and attract pollinators in the dark skies through heavenly scented blooms. They’ve adapted to darkness and here they thrive.

Perhaps the nocturnal flowers and nested dream line echo the same sentiment.

Whatever roles we have stepped into, may we embody them beautifully.

For night blooms so swiftly.

I’m curious if you’ve experienced lucid dreams from staying mentally aware while falling asleep? (WILD method - wake induced lucid dream)

Have you tried to dream within a dream before?

What feelings arose in you when the dream character spoke her line?

I hope you are enjoying some magical summer evenings & soaking up the sun.

Thank you for reading!

♡ Vickie

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We are and have always been in conversation with the wider world.

When we pose a question the world is eager to respond.

The universe speaks to us in symbols through dreams, the murmuration of birds, casting of bones, stories in a card spread or leaves in a cup.

I’ve been reading tarot since I was a teenager. My relationship to tarot has evolved over the years and the way I relate to it now is closer to dreamwork rather than fortune telling. I thought that I would share my perspective on tarot as a shared altered state of consciousness and how I collaborate with clients during a reading.

Tarot is closer to dreamwork than prediction.

People have historically viewed tarot readings as hearing your future being told to you. This often includes trickery or fraud. This framework does not center autonomy, participation, reflection and choice for the querant.

For me a tarot reading is a collaborative ritual where we can engage with our inner worlds through metaphor and archetype outside of ordinary states of thinking.

In tarot like dreamwork there is a story to be told in a way that provides a divine message through image seeded metaphor. My role is to be a conduit for that metaphor to be deciphered with the least amount of my own bias muddying it up.

The process of reading tarot for other people has been so deeply enriching. It is a privilege to sit with someone and hear their fears, desires and aspirations. It takes delicate language to explore the things they may want to avoid and the patterns they may not be able to see.

Liminal Preparation

After moving my body and circulating some energy I give myself 10 minutes to sit in a meditative space. Before sessions I’ve started listening to drumming tracks that are used to increase theta brain waves which occur naturally in the liminal space between waking and dreaming. During this time I’m focusing on the client and setting an intention to be receptive to images or messages that might be helpful to the client during their reading.

Sitting down to have an intentional drumming journey before a tarot session has been really transformative for my tarot practice. The images that come to me during the drumming have been connected to main themes of my client’s readings. For example a recent client has been through a difficult year professionally and it has caused him to feel closed off to himself and others. In my drumming journey I saw a pill bug on its back and then rolled up in a ball. This image resonated with the client as he felt like he had rolled himself up in a ball over the last few months to protect himself and he was ready to unfurl his body and reengage with life.

After preparation and a journey into the liminal state I’m ready to begin the session with the client.

The Question is the Doorway

The querent arrives with an intention for their tarot reading grounded in a question. The question is the door we walk through together so crafting the right question is key.

stresses the importance of asking the right questions in tarot. She aims for high input/high output questions. Essentially you get more helpful information from the tarot when you ask an open ended question rather than a yes or no question. She provides a concrete example with a shift from: Will things get better? to What is the first domino I need to tip to change the current momentum?

Once the querant arrives at a strong question we can dive into the story that the cards are telling together.

Reading the Story

Once the cards are laid out in their formations I pause to take a birds eye perspective. The querant is also viewing their life from a higher perspective where patterns and influences become more visible.

I take note of the presence of major arcana, repeating suits, repeating numbers and gather a sense of narrative flow to the reading. Sometimes the narrative is obvious through the visuals of the cards but most often the narrative is revealed as we explore the querants personal relationship to each card in their position.

The associations that I’ve attached to certain cards will be shared with you as the querant and you steer the direction of the unfolding of the reading. Your personal associations drive the storyline that is coming through in the cards.

Tarot as an Altered State

I view tarot like dreamwork because we are temporarily living within the world that the cards are building.

We are observing the characters and patterns from a higher perspective that allows us to formulate new understandings, connections and options for transformation. In this way tarot is an altered state that we enter into together. Tarot allows for the rigidity of ego to be set aside for a moment, not fully dissolved like in a psychedelic state but hung up like a coat on a rack.

Integration

Tarot often shares insights and wisdom that we may not be ready to intellectually understand at the time of the reading. This is similar to dreamwork and psychedelic experiences in that the integration process of a tarot reading may occur over weeks rather than days.

I always say that a good tarot reading leaves you with homework and more questions to explore.

Tarot with Me ♡

I currently offer a limited number of tarot readings each month.

Readings take place over Google Meet and last approximately 90-120 minutes.

The longer format allows us to explore your question in depth and give the symbolic material enough space to unfold naturally.

If you’re interested in learning more about booking a reading feel free to message me.

I’d love to hear how readers relate to the tarot.

Do you have ways of entering an altered state before a tarot reading?

Thank you for reading!

♡ Vickie

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Nightmares have followed me throughout my life with the heaviest seasons being in my childhood and early twenties.

As most dreamers know it can be impossible to scream in dreams. My dreaming self devised an interesting way to wake up from threatening situations.

I learned to snort myself awake.

Yes I really mean snort - I snort like a pot belly pig until I wake up (or my husband in a mostly confused tone tells me to wake up). It’s hilariously embarrassing.

The snorting dream exit has saved me from many terrifying nightmares and perhaps has me leave the dream before being able to engage with any innate healing potential. It’s pretty awkward to explain if I’m sharing sleeping quarters with friends.

That being said I do recall one nightmare where I was able to scream myself awake. I’ll never forget it.

The Silent Clown

I’m in the back door entryway of the house I grew up in. A lovely midcentury bungalow in a quiet Canadian neighborhood. So safe you didn’t need to lock your doors.

It is very dark inside and feels like it’s the middle of the night. The house is quiet and everyone is asleep. It feels kind of mischievous to be awake at this hour.

I walk up the small set of stairs from the back door into the kitchen on the right. In the dark I slowly start sorting through the junk drawer. I’m not sure what I’m looking for but I feel like I’m drawn to find something there.

I rummage around searching in the drawer for a decent amount of time. The soft yellow glow of the room from the stove light and the quiet hum of the fridge are peaceful.

Connected to the kitchen is a dining room and behind that is a large living room with two couches facing each other and a yellow armchair.

I felt compelled to lift my head up from the rummaging and glance toward the living room.

In the chair sits the tall silhouette of a clown.

The image shocks me into a dreadful silence.

I’m frozen as I scan the outline of his curly wig, his arms casually resting on the armchair and the huge clown shoes extending out onto the floor. I feel him watching me in the dark and I feel sick to my stomach knowing he had been there the whole time I was in the kitchen.

A visceral scream fills my body and pierces the dream until the image dissolves away and I wake up in my bed.

I can still conjure the scene of him sitting in the chair in my mind and I can feel the terror in my body that I felt when I realized he had been silently watching…

I’d love to hear from you fellow dreamers.

Do you have any memorable nightmares?

Have you devised any ways to wake yourself from a dream?

I’m hoping to launch DreamFed interviews later this month or early August. The guests are from all walks of life with the same love of inner world exploration and artistic expression.

Stay tuned and be in touch if you’d like to be interviewed in the series!

Thank you for reading!

♡ Vickie

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inebriated - incarcerated - inattentive

no conductor on the track

she stored herself in the kitchen

a premature cremation

yet an ongoing gestation

compromised presence may prove lethal

attune to zephyr & sea

secure prayers upon the mast

I can’t help but wonder - do my monthly excerpts retroactively shape my dreams or am I only ever recording what was already whole?

Check out the next Inner World Excerpt at the end of July

Thank you for reading!

♥ Vickie

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Solar energy initiates growth, energizes us and draws our energy outward toward one another. The summer solstice has been a revered day throughout time as a peak of solar presence. For many cultures this was a time of feasting, ritual, community gathering, fire and fertility. A day representing the extreme outward expression of life before the entropy into death.

The flora and fauna feel the solar shift at solstice. Plants reach peak photosynthesis. Trees sense the eventual descent back to darkness and begin storing sugars. Insect activity surges. Birdsong is thunderous and the transition from mating to molting begins.

In sacred sites across the world the monuments erected to honor the summer solstice highlight the co-presence of the solar shadow. Sacred sites like Stonehenge were architecturally designed to highlight the sun and shadow in a theatrical and ritualistic way. People have gathered to walk along labyrinths from outside in and back again.

At the peak of the season of the sun we fully see our beautiful, bold outward connection and expression. We can honor our abundance, fertility and passion. At the same time we are acknowledging the impermanence of everything. The return to winter. The lifecycle of birth and death. From seed to seed.

In Tarot the sun is major arcanum 19. In most decks this card reflects illumination, expression, openness, joy and generosity.

The fool’s journey is depicted in the major arcana of the tarot - beginning with the Fool and ending with the World. The Moon card precedes the Sun suggesting the presence of the lunar/shadow within the solar. The final card of the major arcana is #21 the World. This card lives in the liminal, marking the transition from one expression to the next, the formation of the next seed. Thus continues the endless journey from the Fool to the World which is felt at the time of the solstices and equinoxes.

Through the solar peak we are reminded of the energetic undercurrent that flows through everything.

Everything has its tides.

Tarot Spread for the Summer Solstice

Here is a tarot spread designed to work with the seasonal undertones and the subconscious mind. You can use it during the peak summer solstice energies or at any time you wish. Pose a thoughtful open ended question as you draw your three cards.

1. The Crest - What is fully illuminated right now either externally or internally? The peak contains the seed of the reversal

2. The Tipping Point - awareness of the sudden shift within the peak, the preparation for the return

3. The Trough/Seed- what the cycle will return to or release to, life folding itself inward again, integration

Solar Tea

This is an easy summer solstice ritual to honor the peak energy of the sun and to familiarize yourself with local plants!

How to make a Solar Tea

• Clean glass jar

• Fill 1/3–1/2 with fresh plants or flowers

• Cover with cold water

• Leave in summer solstice sunlight 2–6 hours or up to a full day

• Strain and drink same day

Some Examples of Plants to Use

• Rose

• Yarrow **

• Mint

• Fireweed

• St. John’s Wort **

• Dandelion

• Mugwort ** (harvest at noon on summer solstice for peak yang energy)

You can use any plants in your local area that are abundant during the time of the summer solstice. Make sure you are 100% certain of the identity of the plant and that it is safe to consume.

**If you are pregnant, breastfeeding or taking any medication it is encouraged to consult a physician or pharmacist prior to consumption

Happy Summer Solstice!

Thanks for reading!

May you celebrate what it means to be alive on this upcoming solstice. May we all find flow within the cycles of it all.

♡ Vickie

♡ Check out the incredible wet plate tarot deck by Alexa Black here ♡

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During the calmer periods of the chaos I felt a calling to do a psychedelic co-sitter training with Therapsil. Being a nurse supporting clients during psychedelic assisted therapy seemed like a natural addition to my nursing experience due to my strong connection to the dreaming realm and spirituality.

Part of the training included the opportunity to co-sit for someone in the class during their psilocybin journey and to have them sit for me during mine. After the in-person classroom training was complete my training partner and I met for prep sessions together over Zoom. We discussed our intentions for the psilocybin journeys. Two months later our classroom group met in person for our experiential training weekend.

I chose to ingest 4g of psilocybin on the morning of my ceremony. I set up my altar with some oracle cards, a childhood photo of myself and some sprigs of bay leaves and mugwort, my favorite dreaming herb.

My intention for the medicine journey was to connect with my authentic self.

I want to keep most of my experience private but I did receive a powerful message from my Ancestors in the session that brought me to tears. I feel called to share this story here for readers.

The onset of the medicine included a lot of symbols and imagery from many ancient cultures. I could feel the mushrooms trying to gently court me and introduce themselves as to not frighten me. Once the courtship was done I came to the peak experience of my journey.

Here is an excerpt from my journal:

I’m on a rainbow bridge with my Ancestors.

Four beings of light stand with me on a bridge made of light.

We are speaking without words.

I remember my intention of the ceremony and I ask them who am I? What is the authentic me?

They are holding a circular mirror and they turn it around slowly to face me.

I’m expecting to see something magnificent or an image of my inner child.

Instead in the circular mirror I see them.

This message is transmitted directly to my heart and I weep.

I hear my co-sitter whisper in the room “something just happened…”

This vision transmitted so much meaning into my heart, more than words could ever say.

My authentic self is not separate from my Ancestors. I am made of all the loving beings that came before me. They are with me guiding and supporting me.

We are all beings of light on a rainbow bridge together.

My hope is that by sharing this transmission with others that we can all be reminded of our connection with the world beyond the waking, beyond our paradigms of Self and “other”. May we remember that our authenticity is rooted in relationship.

Thank you for reading my experience!

I’d love to hear your Ancestral visions and psychedelic experiences.

♡ Vickie

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frankincense on summer air

incubation / gestation

estuary / ocean

to live numb or not

instinct says: keep going

revival on standby

prepared and not required

flip over

dream says: hybrid

with attentive hands

with off-key and error

cross pollinate

nous faisons

inside the earth

feather trail draws forward

doubt dims

spiral on

Check out the next Inner World Excerpt at the end of June

Thank you for reading!

♥ Vickie

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I’ve shared this dream story with friends and folks in the dreaming community before so I wanted to write a poem based off the dream to honor it in a new way.

The Uninvited Guest

A lively dinner party

warm calm night on the balcony

Erupt in good conversation

A slowing of time envelopes the evening so vividly

We observe in awe of the strangeness

A flock of crows descend in slow motion

Landing in the tree across at eye level

Black feathers fill the air and spiral down slowly

Unsure if this is an ominous or auspicious sight

The most unusual bird appears in the tree now

Moving so quickly in comparison

Its feathers are a rainbow of neon colours and patterns

Transforming its body into hypnotic shapes

We are all transfixed

The bird shapeshifts into a man

The transition so smooth our eyes miss it

He charms us and invites himself to our gathering

Politely asking to enter the home

My intuition speaks for me to deny him entry

Some of the guests call me rude

He agrees to leave but offers a parting gift first

Dropping crow bones into the wine glass of every guest

One by one

The wine transforms into something we don’t recognize

Black, orange, alluring

He shares the magic of this drink and offers a toast

Everyone is convinced and chugs back the wine

I swirl the bone around in the liquid

Nagged by a sense of distrust

I sip a small amount into my mouth

A guest suddenly stands up claiming he feels strange

A wave of panic flows along the table

I spit the wine back into my cup

Synchronicities…

Some interesting synchronicities have popped up over the last two weeks in relation to this dream.

✺ a few hours after I finalized this post and scheduled it for publication I was at the park with my son and a crow was in the grass picking away at a large bone

✺ the following day I found a pile of crow feathers in the grass

✺ a close friend and her roommate shared that they came across a dying crow outside of their home a few days ago. They brought him inside in a box to shelter him waiting for the animal rescue team the following day. Her roommate had a dream at 6am that the crow flew out their front door. She went to check on him and he had passed away.

Thank you for reading!

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this dream and these synchronicities.

Have you had similar dreams?

♥ Vickie

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When I recall vivid dreams of being welcomed, assisted and connected to ancestors or dream guides I’m recalling real, meaningful access points to my inner wisdom.

As a nurse when I hear the transformational inner experiences of ketamine assisted therapy clients I validate these experiences as forms of insight and portals for integration. I intentionally hold space for patients to speak of their dreams or hallucinatory experiences within the hospital in a non-judgemental way.

Conversely, when I’m told my dreams are meaningless it makes me want to share my dreams even louder.

Sharing our inner experiences is an act of justice for polyphasic culture. It is a method of reviving perceptual diversity in a world that would deeply benefit from expanded awareness.

What is Polyphasic Awareness/Perceptual Diversity"?

Anthropologist Tara Waters Lumpkin, PhD defines perceptual diversity as:

Perceptual diversity allows human beings to access knowledge through a variety of perceptual processes, rather than merely through everyday, waking reality. Many of these perceptual processes are transrational, altered state of consciousness (meditation, trance, dreams, imagination) and are not considered valid processes for accessing knowledge by science

In other words, human experience takes place within a wider perceptual web than just the waking, rational mind. Dreaming, imagination, visions and out of body experiences are respected as additional layers of human experience within this polyphasic framework.

Monophasic Awareness in Western Culture

In predominant Western culture we have been taught that logical thinking and waking ordinary reality are the only forms of experience that are meaningful and useful.

Through the cultural focus of capitalism and consumption we are taught to devalue dreams and to ignore our intuition. There is little to no value placed on the quiet, slow workings of the inner world.

Through the colonial imperialist lens we are taught to look down on cultures that live within a polyphasic way of living. Colonial systems have suppressed Indigenous ceremonial practices, trance traditions, plant medicines and cosmologies that honored altered states as meaningful sources of knowledge and relation.

As humans what are we losing when we constrict our perception to merely rational thinking and the scientific method?

Comparing Monophasic vs. Polyphasic

Here is a basic visual comparison of the different ways of relating to perception.

Why seek Polyphasic Awareness?

When our perception is narrowed to merely the rational world we lose out on forms of intelligence, relation and self expression. People feel separate from their intuition, imagination, dreams and inner visions.

Modern humans have closed themselves off to the reality that we are in constant exchange with all that surrounds us.

-Norma J. & Nisha Burton

When we view life from an interconnected polyphasic lens we foster connection, generosity, acceptance and understanding of ourselves and our role in the wider world. We can honor our truths and see the validity in the beliefs of others.

Together we can cultivate a culture where inner experiences are seen as real and you are encouraged to share your inner world in creative and expressive ways.

My Intention

My goal with Altar Five is to honor the multiple access points of perception that humans experience and to foster a culture where we can share our inner worlds as openly as we share our outer. Where dreaming and waking realities are revered as equally sacred.

Here we can value and honor the ordinary and non-ordinary states as equal, parallel forms of relating to the world.

I joyfully echo the words of :

I have a dream: that we will again become a society of dreamers.

In a dreaming culture, dreams are valued and celebrated

You can subscribe for more:

• Dream stories, experiments & incubations

• Tales from altered states of consciousness (trance, meditation, psychedelics, drumming)

• Shared perspectives - Scientific + Polyphasic

• Interviews with people who experience liminal realms & altered states

• Poetry

• Visual journaling through inner world collage

• Reverence for polyphasic cultures

• Anthropology + Ethnobotany + Herbalism

Thank you for reading!

If you or your friends have a reverence for perceptual diversity please subscribe + share. May we foster a culture of polyphasic awareness together!

♥ Vickie

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offerings to water & beast

in between islands

Six of Swords

hidden under cabinet and in sheets

cooked yet contaminated

women who came before

10 of Wands

sage, juniper, spring water boiled

white rope unwinding

pacemaker pacing

soul parts retrieved

The Star (XVII)

Check out the next Inner World Excerpt at the end of May

Thank you!

♥ Vickie

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Recurring dreams imprint a place in our mind’s eye and transport us into a storyline over and over again.

These dreams may be positive experiences that we welcome like a tender memory or they may be insistent nightmares. Either way it is the repetition and a felt sense of returning that impress me.

Do recurring dreams ask something of us?

Are they catalysts for transformation?

Are we returning to astral places we’ve co-created?

A Sim & A Shark

a recurring dream that I had as a young child many times…

I’m in a large warehouse with endlessly tall ceilings. No insulation, no heat. It might be nighttime or it is very dark. I’m in a long and narrow pool alone. The walls of the pool are very high with no visible ladder or exit and I’m unable to climb out. Like the deadly prank played on Sims characters when you delete the ladder from the pool (If you know, you know).

I’m treading water alone. A shadowy person stands at the edge of the pool overlooking me below. They don’t offer a gesture or word merely a silent presence. I get the feeling they are overseeing this experiment.

The back wall of the pool opens up into a larger pool much wider and longer than the previous. I swim into the bigger pool and feel some reprieve from the change in location. This pool also lacks any exit and is surrounded by tall walls. The shadowy figure is no longer present.

I tread water along the edges of the pool. I don’t feel a sense of panic just confusion as to why this is happening to me. Then the far pool wall opens up underwater like a garage door. At first nothing changes. Then I see a giant shadow of a great white shark entering the pool with me. I suddenly feel like a spectacle. A gladiator facing off with a big cat. A hopelessness descends upon me as I know this is almost a pointless battle. No escape, out of my element and facing a deadly beast.

The fear and helplessness I felt in the dream was overwhelming and I always woke up before I had to fight for my life or surrender into the shark’s domain.

I could extract meaning and interpret this dream in a clinical way.

The pool as my emotional - feeling overwhelmed, trapped and unable to ask for help. I’m witnessing the intensity of navigating fear or sadness alone.

I could see how my psyche is offering an invitation for agency through slowing down and noticing an exit point, creating a ladder, speaking with the shadow presence and learning to ask for help.

I could scream underwater through fear yelling “what are you trying to show me?” to the shark.

He could answer back: “I am what your feelings become when they have no witness. I grow when you try to hold it alone. I recede when it is shared”.

I could extract all of that and I could witness the story as a whole, allowing for meaning to be woven into the hearts of anyone receiving it. Letting the wholeness land in the body.

Not all recurring dreams feel life-threatening.

Some feel like a joyful homecoming.

Like hearing the chorus of your favorite song these recurring dreams bring you back into a world you’ve memorized.

Below shares his experience returning to the same familiar oak tree in his lucid dreams.

Under the Oak Tree -

“I came across a meadow encircled by trees. There was a greenhouse, a small garden and a shelf outside. In the field was also an old oak tree with branches that stretched wide and low under their weight.

As I became more fluent in lucid dreaming I’d return to this place and further explore. The greenhouse door led to a void of sorts and objects would appear on the shelf. The garden went through seasonal transitions, along with the oak tree.

Most often, I’d see someone under the oak and go to join them. These would be people I knew and occasionally didn’t. I believe one of these people was visiting me. He had an Australian accent and took me on an adventure of sorts.

As my days of lucid dreaming cooled, I visited this place less, but as I’ve constructed an inner world, it is still found.

This place always provides a sense of arriving, as if checking into lodging on a big trip. It’s a place of both belonging and adventure, and the feelings it brings match.

When I first started to lucid dream, I mainly awoke excited by my experience, and in awe of what was projected onto the screen of consciousness.

The inner world is now quite expansive - with mountain trails, deities and allies, with temples, thick jungles, and caves.

Yet, through a maze of doors and a particular trail through the woods, I can arrive at that field, greenhouse and oak tree.”

Recurring dreams invite us to return somewhere familiar.

They offer a mythic tale that can be rewritten. They paint a picture of your psyche as a fertile ground for integration of anything we may have suppressed.

They invite our voice, presence and connection.

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I’m curious if you’ve experienced any recurring dreams and if you ever find yourself in familiar dreaming landscapes.

When I share my dreams with others, the shark recedes.

Thank you for reading!

♥ Vickie

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I don’t need to convince anyone that we are on our smartphones too much. We all want to reduce our screen time, cultivate hobbies and work on our art.

But we can’t put our phones down. We find ourselves in a trance, dissociating and losing time.

Apps have been so cleverly engineered to capture our attention that the term Doom Scrolling was created to express our inability to set aside our phones despite the desire.

It feels as though the screen-induced addiction is activating something more ancient within us. Our primal necessity for transcendence.

Our brains are designed not only to assess, solve problems and plan ahead but also to transcend. To climb across the boundaries of ordinary thinking and into the non-ordinary.

Trance can be used to open a portal into transcendence, a place akin to dreaming where we can gain wisdom in many forms. In this state our bodies become relaxed, we experience time distortion and our ego takes a back seat. We return to a wider relationship with the world both seen and unseen.

The ancient pathway to trance is through the gateway of repetition. Rhythmic repetition bypasses the thinking brain, releases dopamine and induces a trance state. The rhythm of a drum, a shaking rattle, a chanted word or a swirling body.

Trance in ritual & technological forms open the same ancient inner gateways but lead to very different places. We live saturated in technological trance but void of transcendence.

RITUAL TRANCE

Humans across all cultures and timelines have utilized a variety of methods to induce trance through ritual. All methods open the door to the inner world.

There are common elements present that make trance ritualistic.

Ritual trance is guided and held in a container.

The ritual trance experience takes place in a safe location, guarded by support people who ensure the wellbeing of the person experiencing trance. The experience is guided by someone who can initiate the beginning of the ritual, hold space and can call the individual back to the ordinary. There is a defined beginning and ending. The explorer is able to venture outside of their physical existence knowing their body is cradled safely awaiting their return.

For example, in a Shamanic drum journey the Shaman calls on energies to support the journey, builds an astral container for the experience and then drives the trance with the beat of the drum. The tempo changes in the drumming can call the person back to their body at the end of the journey.

Ritual trance is accessed with a heartfelt intention.

It is essential to have an intention when seeking ritual trance experiences. Your intention is the thread you follow as you navigate liminal spaces, approach disruptive inner material and anchor into altered states. Do you seek answers, reconnection, remembrance or surrender? The intention drives the experience in the background and gives the context from which meaning will be formed.

Ritual trance leads us into the process of individuation.

Ritual Trance is guided within a safe container, a heartfelt intent, a defined time for the journey and a plan for the return to the ordinary. The overarching goal is to access inner wisdom and fully integrate all aspects of self to live authentically within our communities. Like confident and fully embodied components in a choir adding to the harmony and depth. Not just an overbearing solo.

Ritually induced trance allows our authenticity to blossom through the process of individuation. We explore our shadow aspects with love, following the path into fear and allowing it to transform. Through witnessing all of ourselves without avoidance or shame we can return to cosmic unity.

Individuation does not shut one out from the world, but gathers the world to oneself.
— Carl Jung

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TECHNOLOGICAL TRANCE

Technological trance hijacks the same ancient trance gateway but is void of ritual components leading to quite a different outcome. We will specifically focus on the trance induced by social apps on smartphones.

Digital trance is induced through repetition and the same dopamine circuits in the brain. Dopamine is driven by likes, shares, new followers and the novelty of new content. Our eyes move in a repetitive vertical flow as we repeat the upward sweep of our fingers through endless reels. Time is heavily distorted while in this trance state despite absorbing content we may not find appealing or even find disturbing.

Tech trance is unguided and unbound.

There is no qualified support person guiding you to ensure your safe use of social apps. No one to scaffold a beginning into trance and return for you. You can scroll endlessly for hours without any containment. If you want to reduce your screen time it is your individual responsibility to do so. Your attention becomes currency and you are given no tools to manage it.

Digital trance lacks intention.

Social apps are designed to capture your attention and your money. The intention of these tech companies is financial.

You can come to social apps seeking ways to connect, share and be seen. The ways in which you engage and the length of time you give out to this tech is within your individual choosing. Due to the addictive design of these apps this takes ongoing focus and dedication. Engaging with social media without a personal intention can lead to disorientation and can open up a vulnerable suggestibility to things like ads or pressure to perform socially.

Tech trance is void of consent.

Some tech leaders have opted out of smartphone use for themselves and their children. They have chosen to no longer consent to the overhaul of their attention.

This has me questioning if we are being informed of the full risks vs. benefits of using these apps. Some researchers are concerned about phenomenon such as “digital dissociation” where you dissociate into screens long enough that you are no longer aware of your body or environment. Or “digital dementia” where you may experience a reduction in your ability to deeply focus and to recall information. Not to mention the ongoing mental health concerns related to depression and anxiety.

Are we being fully informed of the risks of technological trance?

Are we given the chance to enthusiastically consent?

Digital trance is leading us further into individualism.

Endless social media scrolling feeds a loop of consumption, comparison and unchecked individualism. The trance induced by social media brings us outside of ourselves into our ego and further away from our inner world.

We project curated images of ourselves outwardly while engaging with other curated projections of others. In hate comments and trolling we can see unintegrated shadow aspects clashing without a chance to curiously and respectfully seek wholeness. Our worth is defined by the physical world and the accumulation of social value.

There are many positive aspects to individualism such as self expression, autonomy and personal achievement. The danger lies within a context of individualism disconnected from community. When we seek our own interests without the consideration or inclusion of the larger community.

According to authors Nisha and Norma J. Burton:

Many of the imbalances we are seeing in relation to our climate, socioeconomic structures, and interpersonal conflicts come from being cut off from holistic systems. When we see only one form of experience (reality) as valid, it makes us rigid and existing in opposition to an interdependent world. (Navigating Liminal Realms )

The display of content on social apps is designed to accentuate and romanticize the individual experience. Technological trance extracts our attention away from consciously engaging in the world in a relational way and instead feeds individualism, fragmentation and reactivity.

Conclusion

Humans are designed to transcend our ordinary state of reality through the door of trance. We have crafted many methods of accessing this state all through the rhythm of repetition. In modern days our brains sink into trance through a black screen by the repetition of novelty, eye gazing and finger movement. We have not been informed of the full risks of using apps designed to extract our minds and money. We are left alone to govern the ways in which we engage with technology that is designed to be addictive.

In a world where our differences are highlighted and broadcast we are driven further into the outer world of individualism through technological trance where we dance among projections and unintegrated shadows. If we intentionally engage in ritual trance we can transcend into the inner world toward individuation where integration occurs leading to the emergence of a more conscious individual for the betterment of the collective.

Ritual trance across cultures has held a role in community healing, cohesion and cosmic unity. Technological trance is new to us as a species and is founded in extraction and self before others.

Our problem isn’t trance it is trance without transcendence. Trance without community.

Our fragmented world is urgently calling for individuation.

What Now?

Technology is advancing rapidly. The recording and sharing of our existence is embedded into so much of our day-to-day routine. The geopolitical climate is at a tipping point because countries are run by people who are on the path of reactive individualism. How can we course correct this?

As Individuals We Can:

1. Cultivate Mindfulness

   which will help us to have awareness of when we are entering trance - intentionally or not.

2. Create Time Limits.

   Set up maximum daily time limits. Don’t extend them. For more intense containment consider purchasing a Brick device that locks you out of your apps with a tap of your phone.

3. Make Your App More Boring.

   Switch feeds to “Following” instead of “For You” when possible.

   Turn off all notifications.

   Delete apps and use them in browser mode.

4. Reflect on and Redirect Your Intention.

   What brings you to your most highly used social apps? What need are you trying to fulfill? Can this intention be directed to the outside world instead? For example you could join a pottery class if you are looking to be inspired by other artists and want to make new friends.

5. Take an Extended Break.

   Delete Instagram for a month and observe what changes.

6. Research How Your Ancestors Entered Ritual Trance & Try It.

   Speak with your family, ask questions and learn how your ancestors accessed the ancient trance pathways to transcendence. Find a qualified person to support you whether that is through drumming, breathwork, meditation or mantra.

7. Pay Attention To Your Dreams.

   Our dreams show us our inner world without any ego filtering. The wisdom, reflection and content from the dreamworld is a free, nightly opportunity to curiously approach our shadows and unintegrated parts toward wholeness. Dreamwork is a very accessible path to transcendence. Just make an intention to recall your dreams and start taking notes of anything you recall.

8. Invest in Relationships.

   Connect with friends and family. Host a dinner party. Volunteer. Share what you can. Listen attentively. Talk to a stranger.

Equal responsibility should lie with social media companies and platform designers to be transparent with the design of apps, to offer more analog options that are less stimulating and to honestly and clearly state the risks of app use. We can also demand that social apps have built in maximum daily limits and that they send users prompts encouraging technological time outs.

Australia is the first country to ban social app use for minors aged 16 and under. This responsibility is placed upon the platform builders and they are fined if they do not comply. Other countries in Europe and Asia are now starting to build their own laws around age bans on social apps. A recent bill has been proposed in Italy that seeks to ban algorithmic profiling and makes platform designers accountable for addictive design choices.

There is a clear cultural shift toward making tech platforms responsible for these new social challenges and to approach digital trance like other addictive behaviors like gambling or smoking.

Returning to ritual trance can help us navigate the integration of technology into our world and provide the doorway into transcendence where we pour out the other side more self-aware and connected to one another.

Questions:

• What responsibilities should lie with the owners and designers of social media apps?

• Should there be laws in place to protect the app users? If so, what could they be?

• Are there ways to prevent or reduce the induction of trance while using apps?

• How can we intentionally engage with social media to allow connection and community within a safe container?

• How are communities around the world approaching this problem already?

  

Thank you for reading! ♡

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this and how we can all move forward together while we integrate the reality of technology.

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Inner World Excerpts is a recurring monthly collage post where I share snippets into some significant dreams, interesting synchronicities & visions from altered states.

climbing, guarding, nurturing, remembering.

dissembling, adjusting, waiting, aging.

presence in the woods, presence at my feet.

women hold the keys.

“Whatever let’s rest. We will do it again”.

Check out the next Inner World Excerpt at the end of April!

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small bird, wait

for the scroll to be clipped

the prayer coiled

then traverse the strait with my words on wing

incantation through the frigid pacific

humming voice through crab shell

piezoelectric starfish

hummingbird

carry me west

just as I prayed before on prairie hill

inside the buffalo calling stones

hilltop of women and their prayers

roots and kinship

host and hosted

strings and acapella on the porch

young fair-haired warrior belonging

floating and fear facing

bold

generations three

held in every corner

fires built in salt mist

moonlight cedar and owl call

laughter spilling out to sea

rosemary at my doorstep

arch portal to the hearth

sacred tending, sacred cards

liminal watchdog

enter weeping birch

hands together

awe from the unfolding

blooming from strong stems

hands together

unfolding strong blooms in awe

my words lick shoreline

the place to smoke herring may we call home

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The Dream

Underwater Amulets -December 2022

I’m floating above a red mountain range similar to Arizona with steep rugged mountains. A person on a mountain bike is traversing down steep paths and moving quickly. I’m witnessing this from above like a drone. They begin to slip down the mountain and some invisible force protects them from falling so they are able to get back on their bike.

One of the cliffside areas overhangs an ocean. The water is light blue and crystal clear. At the bottom of the ocean I can see some strange figurines. Four flat clay faces under the water with open mouths and clay hair tendrils gently flowing in the current. Instinctively I know that these clay faces have been built by an artist as protective amulets to those wandering along the mountains.

In the Waking

The following day I’m in the woods near my place visiting an ancient cedar tree that is beloved by the island locals. The base of the huge tree is usually adorned with offerings and trinkets. I circle the tree and come around the trunk eye to eye with open mouthed clay figurines.

The similarity to the image and feeling of the dream was uncanny. I laughed to myself as I took a quick photograph for proof that this truly happened.

This is why I love remembering my dreams! Witnessing the unfolding of dreams into the waking makes me feel alive. Enchanted. Curious. Less bored.

May the open mouthed amulets continue to utter their protective prayers in dreams & in waking for us all ☮

Question for You:

• Have you stumbled upon a dream’s echo?

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Restarts, returns, surrender, trust, movement.

Leaps & descents.

Transcend, transverse, transform, translate.

Once again & louder… S U R R E N D E R.

Check out the next Inner World Excerpt at the end of March!

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Sometimes we experience false awakenings or dreams within dreams. This can be disorienting causing us to question our reality upon waking.

Perhaps these inception dream experiences serve a purpose in the intended emotional message of the dream.

But who is directing the dream?

A future, higher or parallel self?

Or something we don’t have language for?

Here is the dream story from a reader named Alexandra who experienced a night of nested false awakenings — ultimately leading her closer to her mother.

Vickie: Have you experienced any dreams that have changed your life in big ways?

Alexandra: A few years ago I had an incredibly intense dream of my mother being dead —it had levels, I kept “waking up” and she was still dead, and variations of my body knowing it versus my dad having to tell me —and when I actually woke up I was real-body grieving.

I haven’t cried so hard in years, I was shaking and keening (wailing with grief).

I also didn’t believe anything was real — like whether my mom was actually alive or not — but it was 5am so Ronan (her partner) took me for a walk and held my hand while I kept panicking and grieving, until I could casually text my mom and be like “haha woke up early, maybe I’ll call you later!” and wait for her to text back (she did).

That quite legitimately spurred a more communicative relationship with my mom! I call her way more, and genuinely want to talk with her. We are closer than ever.

Vickie: Did you previously find strong messages or wisdom from dreams or was this a new experience for you?

Do you normally record your dreams?

Alexandra: Yes strong messages and wisdom, although not always. I feel like I differentiate between “usual” dreams (stuck in traffic, long wandering narratives with people and usual themes, etc.) and striking ones that have something to impart.

I have recorded dreams regularly in the past, lately only when striking.

As a kid around 2 years old I used to have night terrors that were so bad they freaked my dad out enough that he won’t speak about it now. I don’t consciously remember those dreams. I saw a psychotherapist in my early twenties who did some Jungian dream work with me and he helped me work through them so whenever anything intense shows up now it feels much more known.

Vickie: What was your stress level like during the time of this dream?

Do you feel this was a kind of message sent to you or experience of some other kind?

Alexandra: Gosh, stress level…definitely not zero. I do remember feeling that the dream was striking because I wasn’t feeling too unbalanced at the time. I remember that because at the time, upon reflection with a friend, I thought maybe it was my body/mind trying it out. Like, I know I will lose my mother eventually, and it will be devastating - so I felt like something out there was like ‘okay let’s give it a try and see how we handle it’. And the result is that — see, its terrible, it will hurt so much but you will survive. Are you ready for it?

Vickie: If you had to summarize this dream into a movie name/tagline/bumper sticker what would you call it?

Alexandra: The tagline has to be something about the opportunity to practice experiencing the loss that is an inevitable part of life…Practicing Grief.

Vickie: Practicing grief really summarizes how your body and mind experienced and processed the layers of dreams that kept reinforcing your mother’s death.

Grieving people find temporary peace in sleep and are reminded of the harshness of their loss upon waking.

Alexandra’s dream mirrored real grief. Her mother’s death was not forgotten in any layer of dreaming or waking. She was immersed in grief physically, mentally and emotionally.

She feels that “something out there” sent this dreaming experience to her which circles back to our question of who is the dream director? There are limitless possibilities and the mystery is what keeps me asking questions.

Alexandra’s dream rehearsed loss and she awoke ready to connect while she still can.

Note: names have been changed to protect privacy

Thank you for reading! ♡

I’d love to interview more folks about dream experiences so please reach out if you have dreams you want to share!

Questions for You:

• How have dreams caused you to make big changes in your life?

• Share a false awakening dream that you’ve experienced.

• Who is your dream director?

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I slept so well in January.

Dreams were elusive in January but synchronicities, guides, insights and inspirations were abound.

Reclamation of power and spark.

Check out the next Inner World Excerpt at the end of February!

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Suspend me in ivy

High up a tree

Catching rain

Eavesdropping

Unavailable for performance

Or shadow excavation

Time more horizontal

The width of roots spread

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