I was at Anthropologie looking for home decor inspiration when instead I found myself dropping the placemat I was holding back on its display and moving toward a white iridescent column gown I spotted at the back of the store. It was wedged in between some other bridal dresses and covered in paillettes - it was like a beacon of sparkle. I have zero use for it, so of course I was immediately drawn to it. Hanging next to it was an ivory silk BHLDN dress with batwing sleeves, a deep V and subtle gathering at the bust line. Both were my size.

To be clear, I’m nowhere near getting married again (not even sure I want to!), rarely visit Anthropologie (secondhand first!), and am in no state to try on clothes (my hair is unwashed and I’m in a HURRY.)

But I decide to be spontaneous and follow this force that is saying “they’re your size! try them on, just for fun!” which is how I find myself grabbing the hangers, throwing the long hems over my other arm and walking purposely towards the changeroom.

You see, when I was getting married in my 20s, the only wedding dress I tried on was the one I got married in. That’s typically how I am; in style and in life. If I see something I want and it turns out to be something I actually like, I don’t need to look elsewhere. I don’t want to experiment, I don’t test other options (boring, but true!).

Both dresses fit like a glove.

That’s when the absolutely delusional part of my brain pipes up: “Why don’t you just buy one? You know, just in case?”

You heard that right.

At this point, fantasy Alyssa is trying very hard to push her deranged agenda. She’s decided I’m totally OK with getting married again (an elopement - chic!) or that I’ll probably get invited to some black tie gala with an all-white theme (have I ever been invited to something like this? Absolutely not - who cares!?).

And as I stand there taking mirror selfies, covered in shimmery paillettes that make noise every time I move, I’m reminded of all the times I stood in front of an old lopsided mirror in the corner of some random vintage stall at a hectic market trying on something shiny, sheer, or ancient enough to be in a museum. More importantly - something that had NO business being in my closet or my life.

Why do our fantasy selves have so much power?

Our brains stay activated when we are confronted with “what if?” and thrive on the anticipation of a future uncertain reward. But our fantasy self is extra sneaky because when we have an almost chosen alternative, we imagine it as being pretty much flawless.

Much like the perfect outfit; even when we do achieve what we want, we’re left with … wanting more, no?

When it comes to satisfying our fantasy self, shopping is the easiest and most available fix. When we buy a piece of clothing from this place of “what if”, we’re rarely buying an item and almost always buying a promise.

Beauty, wealth, status, style, confidence …

For a minute the garment completes the promise, until it doesn’t and we start all over again.

But here’s the thing: what’s WRONG with wanting to change our identity for the better?

I am a VERY different person from the woman I was pre-divorce, and I’m not mad about it. After 3 years of being in a post-separation fog and getting a little stylistically lost too, I finally find myself coming out the other side and wondering; wait, how does this version of me want to show up? What does she wear? What does she like? How does she want to dress?

Maybe it’s easier to stay in the fantasy instead of doing the work of BEING the fantasy.

And look, clothing is powerful - I am a firm believer in enclothed cognition and the transformative effect it can have on our behaviour and attitude, but I ALSO believe that clothes can only take us so far. That if we never do the actual work of accepting every part of ourselves and becoming the person we want to be (or always were, depending how you see it), we’ll just end up with a closet full of clothes that piss us off.

So this got me thinking … why are we villainizing our fantasy selves so much when that delusional chick can be our most powerful ally?

Maybe we stop seeing the fantasy self as some perfect, static version of ourselves. Maybe instead, it’s the version of us who works to get as close to the outcome as possible, knowing that the process is far more valuable than the perfect outcome.

Maybe instead, we practice enjoying things without the need to consume or own them. Like art in a museum, flowers in someone else’s garden, or pictures of ourselves in a dress we like.

I take about a thousand photos of me in these dresses - hair up, hair down, on my tippie-toes, with my hips turned, straight-on. Truth be told, while I liked my wedding dress I never got it altered properly (I was young and didn’t want to bother anyone and and and there are a number of reasons, maybe someday i’ll tell you) and I wished it had showed off my figure better. Both of these dresses are doing my body justice. I wouldn’t have chosen lace for my wedding dress either, but my vision was crystal clear at that time and I was sticking to it. I refused to deviate from the outcome I thought I wanted.

This version of me - the woman I’m still learning about - apparently she’s a little looser in the way she shops. She’s more comfortable being spontaneous and testing other options but it doesn’t mean she’ll let spontaneity drive all the time.

As I step out of the silk BHLDN number knowing these dresses won’t come home with me, I find myself getting clearer on who I want to be and actually embodying that woman instead of just shopping for her and hoping she shows up later.

I’m late for my next errand, checking my watch as I put my winter boots back on, carefully putting each dress back on its respective hanger. I bring them both to the associate at the rack and reluctantly hand them over. My first real wedding dress try-on. I probably won’t get another chance to do that.

But then again, who knows?

We asked ourselves: even though we both value a quiet night in Canada, why does all of that change when we’re in Italy? We’re the same people in both countries - what happens to us?

I realized that a different version of ourselves comes out when our environment shifts, so we give ourselves permission to behave differently. Maybe there’s some aspiration there too - we tend to pack for the person we want to be … but we also can’t help but bring the person we are.

So what does that mean for our style when we travel? And why do we have such a hard time packing?
Is it because the internet has turned packing into yet another optimizable thing? Why does every item have to be worn 4,674 ways? Why is there moral superiority attached to traveling with a carry-on?

I realized that a lot of overpacking comes down to one thing: self-doubt, and I’ve narrowed it down to the three ways it shows up in our style and our suitcase. (and how we can style around it, obviously)

THE UGLY BUT PRACTICAL PIECE

No matter what aspirational version of me I pack, I still want to go for my run even after a night of sidewalk drinks in Milan. That means my running shoes (and gear) come with me.

What I like to do with my most practical piece is make it feel more intentional.

How? Style it with tension or harmony.

Tension

To style something with tension, think of opposites. I know this isn’t necessarily groundbreaking, but I like to go the 50/50 route - where my look is one part function and one part elegant. In the example below, I wore my ugly winter running shoes with leggings and my running jacket (one part sport) but added my puffer vest and wool hat in coordinated colours to make it feel more considered (one part elegant). I wouldn’t have gone to a fancy lunch in this outfit, but I felt good enough to go for a long walk, go to a bar (cafe in Italy) and wander an antique market.

Harmony

The alternative is also super fun but is a bit more bold. Go all in on your theme. In this example, a friend and I were going for a long walk, then a spa afternoon. I went head to toe athletic gear, so the sneakers felt super intentional. Wearing head to toe practical items can feel boring, but it doesn’t have to be! This is where the actual styling of items is crucial: I cropped my little top and wore my socks over my leggings to make my sporty spice vibe obvious.

THE “WHAT IF” PIECE

Even if I’ve already reserved my sdraio (beach chair) at the lido, even if I’ve booked a table at the just-opened restaurant, scouted out which vintage markets to frequent - the little “what if” story creeps into my mind when I pack. I don’t love the feeling of being underdressed or unprepared for something I didn’t expect and I definitely don’t want to spend half my trip running around in search of an item I probably won’t wear again just for the occasion.

I like to handle the “what if” by packing one item that will elevate the other pieces in my travel capsule. It has to be pretty significant, so I wouldn’t choose something too small like an earring or a purse. I think separates like a cool blouse or fun trouser, or a great shoe can be really impactful, and they’re also more versatile than say, a dress. It has to be a stand alone piece - if you have to pack other items to go with it, it’s not the one.

I know they take up space and might be impractical, but my “what if” item are these secondhand Manolo Blahnik slingbacks. Ever since this situation, I never travel without an elevated shoe.

But don’t pack it just yet! Stress test the “what if” item by coming up with the most wild scenario you might come across during your vacation, and ask yourself what would you do with it - how would you style it with the other items in your travel capsule?

Now when you get spontaneously invited to that Tuscan villa, you’ll be wearing something that feels genuinely like you, and you didn’t have to panic shop or invent a whole new outfit to do it.

THE “WHAT IF” EDIT

THE ALL MOODS PIECE

We contain multitudes - how can we pack for all the versions of us?

We’re often tempted to buy new things to make sure we look and feel good on a trip, but new items haven’t earned that place in an outfit yet - how can we feel grounded and truly ourselves in a piece that is unfamiliar and not quite authentic?

My suggestion for this one is actually pretty easy. I’m pretty sure we all have one item in our closet that brings us comfort and confidence no matter how we’re feeling. You know that piece you put on when you don’t know what to wear so it just feels right? Bring it. It doesn’t matter if it’s boring, or too much, just put it in your suitcase and thank me later. For me, it’s a classic white button up - my favourite is any shirt from Power of My People (use Alyssa10 for a discount - so worth it, trust me). The one time I traveled without it, I had a crisis.

Who are we kidding, it wasn’t a crisis. I ended up getting creative and figuring it out, but man did I miss it. Confidence in our creative abilities can go a long way, and so can being prepared. So pack the slingbacks, or the basic button up - you already have what you need.

THE ALL MOODS EDIT

NEWS!

There are still tickets to the LAST live virtual Shop Your Closet event of the season! We have two amazing sisters with VERY different style whose closets we will shop! Don’t worry, you’re NOT on camera, but you will receive inspiration looks ahead of time, and the opportunity to share your interpreted looks with us if you want! These events are so fun, and I hope you come! You can find tickets and details HERE!

For the month of June in the membership, we’ll be digging into all things beauty! We’ll go a bit deep (self-worth, unattainable beauty standards) and keep it light! (how hair, makeup, and skincare can affect our look!) You can join the membership HERE!

Finally - I also did a Youtube video about this! Watch it HERE.

Thank you as always for being here,

Alyssa

xx

As an introvert, the 6 hour time zone difference between Canada and Italy is both a blessing and a curse. Most days I’m feeling good and healthy and emotionally full. Most days, I need silence, solitude, minimal interaction in the morning hours because that’s when my brain produces my most creative and interesting thoughts. I run, I practice gratitude, I have tea or coffee. The morning hours in Italy until 1PM when I know nobody I love is up and expecting communication from me are truly a gift. My introverted cup gets filled. My work gets attention. My lunch gets made with care and deliberation.

But some mornings … some mornings I wake up in Italy and I am wishing for the imposition of my friends and family by 8AM. On days when I wake up with global news that will rock our worlds (and not in a good way); I have to carry it alone until the sun makes its way to their part of the world. On this most recent trip I had to deal with more concerning issues from back in Canada. I’m fine, they are being dealt with, but on those days, waiting until a good friend wakes up to tell her how I scared I am is torture.

On Instagram, on Youtube, all you see are the highlights - me sitting on the sunny balcony explaining all the fantasy purchases I made or didn’t make. Walking to the market with my mom, the verdant street corners, and architecture that I find interesting. Dishes of food that I wish you could taste through the screen.

But there is a flip side to it all. There is loneliness. There is fear. There is frustration. There is getting lost, there is exhaustion from always having to figure things out by yourself in a country that isn’t quite yours yet.

I guess this is the reminder that as humans both of these things can be true. We just forget that truth often because we spend so much time on the internet which flattens what we see into two categories - good or bad.

Does everything good have an equal and opposite side?

I think yes.

I think yes because science. Because physics. Because every action has an equal and opposite reaction. If this is true … then that means every challenge must come with something good. Maybe not right away. Maybe we don’t even get to see it. But we must believe it. We have to.

Maybe … if love is a force then humans are the vehicle for it. Not just humans actually. All creatures and living things on this planet. I’ve seen love manifested in so many ways while in Italy.

The pigeons who preen each other on the grass. The mourning dove who was cleaning its mate on the ledge of a 12th century taverna. The turtles as they stick their heads out of the pond to receive warmth from the sun on a gorgeous day. The shade of a tree over a pair of lovers lying on the grass and holding each other beneath it. Daisies that spring up all over the grounds of the Villa Borghese. That’s love. I believe those are all forces of love.

In humans, I see it too.

Not the obvious romantic love, but the little interactions.

The way a young woman urged an elderly lady wearing a mask to cross a busy street with her instead of doing it alone. A friend checking in when they didn’t hear from me for a few days. The barista who remembered my order after only one previous visit. Cooking for my parents. Cooking for anyone, really. The fruit and vegetable vendors who add sapori (extra celery, carrots, onion, parsley) to my grocery order so I can make a nice soffritto without having to pay for the extras.

This is love. Those are forces.

I don’t want to think about the opposite forces driven by fear. But there are so many humans acting as vehicles for fear. They propagate it. They feel it and therefore they share it. They project it onto everyone else. Fear infiltrates our news, our media, it fills our heads and makes its way to our hearts if it’s successful.

This kind of fear is loud. It is loud and it is screaming. It wants to be the only voice in the room. Fear is easy in these times. It requires little critical thought and minimal compassion. It is much easier to give in to fear as the first and only option. It requires only our own opinion and past pain to support its argument.

Love may be quiet. Love may be softer. But it is far more powerful. To love in the world we live in today feels delusional. It feels like resistance. To love requires us to be compassionate, courageous and curious. It feels a lot like traveling solo; an experience which forces us to think about our impact on the people and communities we visit. An experience that forces us to hold new conflicting thoughts at once. An experience that requires us to be open to uncertainty and unfamiliar territory. An experience that forces us to rely on ourselves and communication skills beyond the words we know.

So when I’m back in Canada, I take this new perspective with me. I pack it in my luggage like a souvenir. I try to remember what love looks like beyond the idealized romance I see everywhere on screens.

Instead it’s choosing to take out our AirPods and help the elderly woman cross the street or the mom juggling a stroller and grocery bags in the parking lot. It’s choosing to have an uncomfortable discussion instead of ghosting and swiping. It’s choosing to check on your neighbour instead of recent likes of a post.

To choose love in the face of fear, of bad news, of uncertainty, is an act of resistance. But we all live in both places: fear and love. I can fall into fear easily. It takes more strength to choose resistance and belief in myself than to just lay back into fear. But luckily, my suitcase is heavy with new perspective and I get stronger every time I pack it.

This post features a paid feature from ZIIP!

When my best friend and I were recently visiting Florence, she overheard a conversation between two friends. They were young, in their 20’s.

“He just broke up with me … all I did was ask to talk about something that was bothering me. I didn’t want to break up over it! I wanted to figure it out together.”

Obviously it got us started on the topic of dating, relationships, how hard being a solid couple actually is. We reflected on how, contrary to what we see online or in the movies, the most solid relationships aren’t the ones built on fancy trips together and picture-perfect family photos.

The moments of awesomeness in a relationship - the times when your partner shows up for you without prompting, when you celebrate their wins in a way you know they’ll love, when romantic weekend getaways are the norm, when family vacations happen without disaster … i think those moments happen from a commitment to the unsexy work of difficult conversations, planning, dividing tasks, regular couple syncs, scheduled alone time, and all the other things I didn’t do during my marriage that I wish I had.

The beautiful moments are just the tip of the iceberg. The rest - the impactful bits - are buried deep under the waves that nobody has any interest in seeing.

And yet it’s the small, unsexy bits that make the bigger hurdles a little easier to handle.

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I wonder if it’s the illusion of abundance that tricks us into thinking we can simply bounce after one stilted conversation. After one difficult moment. After one flat text exchange. After discovering we have differences of opinion. We are so inundated with options - in dating, in fashion, in home decor, in fitness, in food - that we skip the unglamorous maintenance that actually creates lasting value and connection.

Is it not easier to discard our old jeans with a hole and buy a new pair than it is to learn how to mend them, or take them to a tailor or seamstress to have them patch them up? Is it not easier to just keep swiping, keep seeking someone new, instead of figuring out what’s happening beneath the surface?

I’m currently in Italy, and when I think about some of the most stylish people I’ve seen; their clothes aren’t luxury, or designer, but they are well maintained. When I think about my outfits I love the most, they’re more often than not created from older items which have been meticulously cared for. Sometimes mended, altered.

Whenever I take the time to properly steam my clothes, they sit on me like the first time I tried them on in store. De-pilling my vintage knitwear makes me excited to wear it again and try styling it differently.

Some habits are more worth it than others, some fall in and out of priority, but others have started to feel like non-negotiables. Here are some of mine.

Running - always. This is the most annoying habit because running gear takes up so much luggage space, but it’s moving meditation and a non-negotiable. I usually work when I travel, so it keeps me grounded, healthy, and strong.

Vanity - Yup - I have it. My ZIIP 2.0 microcurrent device is one of those rituals I refuse to stop - especially here in Italy, where evenings can go late. Aperitivo at 7PM, dinner at 9:30PM, digestivo at midnight. On a Wednesday. WHY NOT? The trick is to look well rested - even if you aren’t. While I do practice good sleep habits too, sometimes it just doesn’t happen, so the ZIIP 2.0 is my best friend. I genuinely love using it, and have been since the end of last year. It has clinically proven results, and I notice a difference in the firmness and brightness of my skin when I don’t use it. Without it, I find my skin looks dull and tired. It comes with an app that offers 17 different treatments all targeting different skin concerns from fine lines to breakouts and skin barrier repair. I use the 4 minute facial religiously, and the 10 minute collagen boost! If you’re curious about ZIIP (especially as an alternative to Botox which I am still too scared to get lol), I have a link for you! Use BELTEMPO which gives you a 10% discount on ZIIP devices and gels.

Gratitude - I don’t want to sound trite, or like “that girl” but I’m pretty sure morning gratitude before my feet hit the ground has re-wired my brain. I still catastrophize (ask my best friend!) and have insecurities, but more often there is a little delusional voice in my head that gives me permission to trust myself, to be myself, and to help me bounce back (even if it takes a while) after a setback. I’m not talking about toxic gratitude that makes us feel guilty for feeling down; I’m talking about the deep basics that we often take for granted.

These basic, unsexy habits are the very things that deepen our connection and allow us to reach for that thing, that person, or ourselves - again and again.

We’ve all attached our worth to something external - hoping it’ll make us feel taller, smarter, more valuable, more loved. For me? It started with YouTube analytics.

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I used to check my YouTube analytics the way finance bros check their investments. Obsessively. Maybe even fearfully - as if my survival depended on it.

And in a way - it did. For the first few years of my channel, my self-worth rose and fell with my Sunday morning view count.

Poor videos would plummet my self esteem. I’d be moody. I’d be grumpy. I’d be in a constant state of stress and talk and strategize to my then-husband about work. I would catastrophize.

It was an emotional roller coaster.

And then at one point I realized; I can’t live like this.

I can’t attach my emotional state to something as volatile as commodity prices on the stock exchange. An asset backed by something as fickle as the price of grain makes absolutely no sense. And surely not something that is so volatile as the whims of an arbitrary algorithm.

At one point during my slow growth into a full-time creative entrepreneur, I realized that the only asset I can back myself with is … me.

I had to reframe my channel’s value, and therefore reframe my own sense of value and worth to my audience. Did views really matter? Did subscriber count really matter?

When I looked back as to WHY I started the channel, the answer was, surprisingly - no.

My value as a creator didn’t lie in numbers on a screen, as intoxicating as those are.

My value lay in the comments from YOU that were telling me you shopped less, that you felt better about yourself, that you applied the principles of slow fashion to other areas of your life and started enjoying style, and yourself, a little more.

And there was the reframe.

I decided to no longer pin my happiness on the numbers that would fill my analytics every Sunday morning. Instead, I asked myself if I had convinced at least one person to rethink their fashion consumption habits, and everything changed.

When I re-framed the worth of my channel to being tangible and values-based - something that couldn’t be tampered with or corrupted by the whims of an internet algorithm - that’s when my channel grew. But most importantly, that’s where I discovered my worth as a creator and also - my peace.

As long as I held onto my values, I would be OK as a creative entrepreneur. I thought I had unlocked allll the secrets of the confidence universe. Not just in my work but in life - I bought clothes without hoping they’d make me feel worthy. I said no to projects that didn’t serve or line up with my values. I thought I had broken the addiction to external validation! I was probably a bit smug about it too.

Until I started dating.

I’ve been divorced for 3 years, and having never dated during my adult life (I met my now ex-husband when I was 21 and we were together until I was 37), I am a dating grasshopper.

And guess what?

That same volatility started to show up again.

It hits closer to home since it’s more personal than a YouTube channel, and is a harder habit to kick since society tells us the exact opposite - but I started to realize that it was unsustainable for me to hinge my own value and self-worth on how desirable I am to men. On whether a man I liked texted, if he called.

And while I struggle with this re-programming of my brain daily, I realized for the second time that I had to reframe my own value.

Above all things, what did I want to be consistent? Whether a man cheated, whether a man lied, whether a man thought I was beautiful, whether he was emotionally unavailable, whether I had three guys on the go (hahaha I’m pretty sure I’m a serial monogamist, sorry for the lack of hot goss) or none at all. What did I want and need to be my anchor?

I decided that no matter what, I’d like to lead with love.

Did I lead with love for myself? For the other person?

And I don’t mean the predictable romcom kind of love where women put up with bullshit in the name of romance. I mean the kind, firm love that recognizes when someone or a situation isn’t serving you and you walk away - even if you like them. The kind of love that says the truth even when it’s hard. The kind of love that allows you to show up unapologetically as yourself. The kind of love that accepts rejections with grace and lets the ego take the hit but not the spirit. The kind of love that is courageous enough to be vulnerable even if you’re unsure of the outcome.

And yes - I still struggle with all of these, daily. They all require courage and I don’t always have it. Sometimes, I do get courage from my clothes. Sometimes the 4 inch stilettos are necessary.

But they become less so when you have a rock solid anchor to keep coming back to.

So here’s a question: What’s the one thing you can be consistent about that doesn’t depend on anyone else’s opinion? The thing that emerges when you strip away everything else? Whether your video performs or it doesn’t. Whether you get the text or you don’t. Whether you’re wearing heels or flats.

Figure it out. That’s the work. Not the closet. Not a curated colour palette, not decoding proportions or snagging the perfect pair of vintage denim. There will always be more beautiful things to catch our eye, more charismatic strangers to draw us into their orbit.

The challenge, and the real win, is understanding that - just like the woman in my community - we don’t need a pair of shoes to make us feel taller than we already are.

NEWS!

I’m in Italy! As an Italian-Canadian, I get to see Italian style from both an insider and outsider perspective, and I'm bringing it all back to you in the next Shop Your Closet event on March 7. Grab your ticket here!

I’ll be here until the Spring, and doing a meet up in Milan! More details to come on IG, and if you’re in the membership - you already know about it:)

Thank you for being here, and have a great week!
Alyssa
xx

In fact, I felt seen. If I had the chance, I would also move hell and high water to get my luggage back, because it’s full of more than clothes.

Most people would probably go through a number of thoughts after listening to women lament lost luggage and validate the financial effort in getting it back. They might think we’re crazy. The most common response would be to leave it and buy all new things. Or try and get insurance to cover it.

I’ve had the exact same fear my friend had: if I lose my luggage I will be devastated. Not because I won’t have anything to wear, but because every piece I own has been thoughtfully curated and chosen - it holds so much value to me. It doesn’t just represent a financial output; it represents the time, effort, and patience I spent waiting, searching, and saving for it. It holds the memory of when I purchased it - whether it was a pre-meditated online score from The Real Real or a spontaneous purchase from a beachside vendor on Sardegna.

And that’s just the beginning. I wear my clothes so often I’ve developed a relationship with them, they shape who I am. I wear them on repeat, I re-style them when I’m bored, I wash them, I mend them, I lint-roll them 4,948 a day because of cat hair - THAT IS A LABOUR OF LOVE, OK?

I know it’s weird to think of it this way, but it makes me wonder what would happen if we treated our clothes like a relationship? Like the friends they actually are? Is it so wrong to get emotionally attached to our clothes?

How many times have you had a first date and reached for your favourite pair of jeans, or walked into a high stakes meeting at work wearing the pumps that make you feel like a baddie? Is it much different from calling your bestie to pump your tires before the date, or that big meeting?

I know I’m talking about an inanimate object, and please don’t conflate this with not caring about the real live humans, creatures, and nature that I share this planet with. But I do think there is a case to be made for being more materialistic, for connecting with our clothes on a level that maybe, just maybe, allows us to connect deeper with ourselves.

And while we can’t all make perfect decisions - some of our clothes no longer serve us, some of them weren’t a good fit in the first place (the top I emotionally purchased for said party, for example - that requires a whole other post) - the items that do stick around have built something that psychologists and sustainable design experts have called emotional durability.

To get a little bit nerdy: Emotional Durability is a product’s ability to elicit a long term emotional connection with a user. It was coined by Jonathan Chapman, a design academic, and to me it sounds like a solid antidote to our culture of excess, speed, and disposability. Even though his context is consumer goods, it makes me think of friendships, acquaintances, or romantic relationships - even the ones that don’t work out.
For me, emotional durability is not a guarantee - it’s a relationship dynamic. It doesn’t mean forcing a connection for the sake of longevity or sustainability or even love; it just means that care and presence - even when it doesn’t work - is still worth it.

Sometimes we lose the suitcase, sometimes we declutter a favourite, and sometimes we get to keep an item until it gets passed down to our children, our nieces and nephews. Either way, what happens if we reframe our clothes the same way we would our relationships? Every loss isn’t a loss. It’s a risk taken, it’s care given, it’s a story, it’s an adventure.

Ultimately, this is the beauty of style and fashion being low-stakes enough that we can recover, rediscover, and move forward with learnings that will make each new purchase more loved than the last.

And I think … I’m not just talking about clothes.

NEWS!

Hello from freezing cold Canada in February. I debated posting this newsletter today because, in all honesty, I’m having trouble talking about style - even if it (hopefully!) hits beyond clothes and consumption.

I don’t know what to say to my friends in the US. I can’t make sense of the cruelty and complexity of Gaza. My heart hurts when I think about Iran, and I feel real rage when I look at the rise of authoritarianism with unmistakably fascist tendencies, misinformation, corporate greed, and the continued policing of women’s bodies and destruction of the natural world.

What I do know is that we still have to show up with clothes on - for ourselves and for each other. We might as well look good while being engaged, thoughtful, and responsible humans, yes?

This month in the membership, our focus is a love remix - reconnecting with our clothes through style, care, and reflection. It’s also just a sweet corner of the internet that feels like a relief these days. As always, we’d love to have you - find out more here!

Speaking of packing, my last Youtube video was actually a live where I shared my (slightly chaotic) packing process for my next trip to Italy in a few weeks. Watch it here!
I got a lot of questions about footwear, so I made a quick edit of my favourite styles that are walkable AND cute.

Thank you for being here, /

Alyssa
xx

At the time, I was flailing about doing a mix of jobs: freelance styling work, personal styling, writing, TV segments, and managing a rental property. I had started to quietly inject tips to reduce overconsumption into the content of my blog and instagram page. It wasn’t going particularly well - I was scared to speak about a subject I was passionate about but still learning. Even if I believed my ideas were valuable.

Why?

Because even then, sustainable fashion had a morality issue.

WHEN MY OPINION ABOUT FASHION CHANGED

A few months earlier I had watched the True Cost documentary, and my suspicions about the fashion industry were confirmed.

Fashion is a huge ecosystem that touches every other industry on the planet. It is quietly underestimated in its economic power because it is masked as something “frivolous and vain” but holds enormous cultural and economic pull.

On the flip side, it made me realize the fashion industry’s biggest problem wasn’t poor labour conditions, unfair wages, toxic synthetics, disregard for animal welfare, or the system of making people (particularly women) feel inadequate in order to sell us things to fix a problem it created. (don’t get me wrong, these are BAD)

I realized that these were (and continue to be) symptoms of a much larger, quieter problem.

Overproduction and overconsumption.

I truly believe that if fashion reduced its overproduction and overconsumption, a lot of these horrible symptoms would be relieved. I’ve noticed that sometimes the simplest solutions are best suited to a complex challenge. If volume and rate of production were happening at a more human and sustainable level, our natural and human resources would be given dignity and time to regenerate. Margins would be healthy enough to maintain slower turnover. The problem is that it has to happen on a global scale. And not everybody feels this way.

ANYWAY - it’s 2016, and I am idealistic as fuck after having this revelatory thought. I get a corporate speaking gig about sustainable style with my old employer. I start leaning into content that encourages underconsumption. But in larger public forums like on Instagram and later when I start my Youtube channel, I stay away from calling it “sustainable fashion”.

Instead, online, I soften the message. I focus on shopping your closet, recreating pinterest outfits with what you have, using a list to shop, asking questions before purchasing, styling one item 20 ways, and finding your style to avoid impulse purchases.

I still didn’t think the masses were ready. People heard sustainable fashion and thought of expensive, shapeless garments with a colour palette that looked like dirty snow.

But the real reason? I was afraid. Afraid of the internet courtroom. Of judgment. Of being an imposter. Of not doing it right.

And the more I met other people who had been advocating sustainable fashion for years, the more apparent it became to me how new and inexperienced I was.

I didn’t know about eco-friendly textiles.

I didn’t know about labour or fair wage legislation in Canada let alone other countries.

(For the record I still don’t know everything - there’s so much!)

I met a sustainable fashion PR expert who I expressed my fears to. I told her I was too scared to position myself within sustainable fashion because I didn’t want the environmental experts to come after me. I was afraid of my lack of in-depth industry knowledge, for not looking or talking like a true environmentalist or sustainability advocate.

She nodded with understanding over cocktails at a small Toronto bar one afternoon: “ah yes, the purity police.”

In the end, my double agent status as a stylist who talked about shopping intentionally and intuitively served me well - even if it felt like walking a tightrope. I didn’t quite fit with the sustainable fashion crowd, but I didn’t fit with the cool fashion crowd either.

Cut to 2026 where sustainability is now so ubiquitous it has lost its meaning. #underconsumptioncore had its moment in the sun and #deinfluencing still echoes on the internet.

But sustainable fashion’s most toxic trait still remains: people are still scared to participate in sustainability for fear of doing it wrong.

The internet further underscores this purity game by distilling information into a binary.

What’s the right fabric?

What’s the most sustainable brand?

What’s better - shopping secondhand or local?

You can’t care about animal welfare and also wear silk, or leather.

You can’t care about fair labour and buy something from ZARA.

I get asked these questions often. (Youtube video coming next week about questions like this - subscribe here so you don’t miss it!)

I used to ask them myself when I started learning about sustainability. But what I learned after several well-intentioned “sustainable” purchases that were rarely worn, is that contrary to what the internet would have us believe, sustainable fashion is a practice. It’s about consuming with longevity in mind. Not only clothing longevity, but planetary and human longevity.

Sustainable fashion requires nothing but imperfect participation, and takes hold with small habit and mindset shifts. Like choosing curiosity instead of judgment.

Discernment and intention instead of impulse.

Creativity and patience instead of convenience.

Over time, I started noticing the same situations coming up again and again.

THE CHALLENGE: panic shopping and wasteful purchases
THE FIX: use time to replace urgency

I noticed when I had an event on the horizon, I would automatically look for something new to wear. But when I realized I didn’t have the budget or the space, I started to give myself one to two weeks of runway to find inspiration online, shop my closet for it, then have a try on session. (I also used this time to poll my friends to see if they had anything I could wear!)

The more I started doing this, the more I realized my closet had everything I needed to put together a look I loved. Or at least if it didn’t - I could shop from a place of calm, not chaos. But I would only discover that magic if I gave myself time and space! It also became easier every time; because my creativity and confidence grew. Now I need a shorter runway, and I still get the same dopamine hit that I would if I had made a purchase. I know time isn’t readily available for everyone, which is why I think it’s good to give yourself more runway the busier you are. I did a really good (old!) video about how you can use time to improve your style without shopping. Even if you only have 5 minutes!

THE CHALLENGE: trouble landing on a signature style
THE FIX: less grocery list energy, more curation

It’s also helpful to be continuously seeking and saving inspiration, instead of frantically looking for it a few days ahead of your event, or even whenever you start feeling uninspired. Whenever I look for new inspiration with something specific in mind (a date, a busy work-week, travel), my consumption trigger gets activated instead of my creativity trigger. I think it’s because we’ve been conditioned to use consumption and purchasing as a way to solve a creative challenge, instead of using what we already have, or being patient until we find something that suits our taste, values, and reality.

When I’m constantly saving outfits or things I like without the pressure of “must wear this for X”, it allows me to appreciate the inspiration as is, without a consumption lens. I love this practice because it means i’m always keeping my eyes and heart open for things that appeal to me - even beyond fashion. This practice also slowly builds my own personal taste.

Which brings me to my favourite example …

THE CHALLENGE: shopping without discernment
THE FIX: fashion literacy

I still struggle with shopping intentionally. Especially when it comes to vintage and secondhand. But the more fashion literate I’ve become, the fewer wasteful purchases I make and the more my wardrobe seems to feel like … well … me.

I do this through shopping with my elements of style in mind. I didn’t invent elements of style - things like form, shape, proportion, lines, textures and colour - they exist in everything design related like architecture, art, interiors. I just developed a concept that positions them as ingredients for your own personal fashion recipe, and how to combine them to create an aesthetic or mood (or a dish!) that suits you and your life. (This playlist has over 100 videos about it to sink your teeth into)

I still use elements of style to decode the outfits I’m inspired by, and recreate them in my own closet. Ultimately I learned that it wasn’t a specific new item I was after. It was the energy. And I could use the elements already in my closet to give me that mood!
But when I’m shopping? These elements really come in handy, because I use them as a filter. I know which elements I love to wear, know how to style, and which ones are missing from my closet. So I use them as a north star to make purchases that have more longevity. If you’re interested in being more fashion literate, I made a course for you! It’s super quick and affordable on purpose. I think everyone should know this.

THE CHALLENGE: sustainability overwhelm
THE FIX: define YOUR sustainability

The paradox of choice is real. When we have too many options, we freeze and end up choosing nothing at all. I don’t know about you, but the same happens to me when I start thinking of ALL the places where fashion is bad for the planet and the people who make our clothes.

I don’t know what to prioritize - is it natural fabrics? Is it supporting women? Is it animal welfare? Is it craftsmanship and quality? Everything is important to me! *shuts laptop in frustration and goes to kitchen to eat some Venchi*

Here’s what i’ve started to do which has helped immensely with environmental overwhelm.

I choose my one north star value, and I pick one to three priorities.

For example, longevity is my most important value, above all things. (Honestly, this is me in life too). I want my clothes to last - aesthetically and because they’re well made. So when I’m shopping, I prioritize:

1 - secondhand - this supports the reuse of existing clothes, which extends their life and honours the human and environmental resources that were extracted. Secondhand and vintage clothes are older and are typically made with better fabrics and construction standards, meaning they’ll likely last longer in my own closet too.

2 - shopping small - this supports a more focused curation and the longevity of local communities and neighbourhoods. I believe being in community impacts human well-being and longevity. Maybe that’s a reach, but I prefer to shop smaller, privately owned brands - even if they are online only.

3 - shopping for quality first - i keep my standards of excellent quality consistent no matter where i’m shopping. If I find myself at a bargain basement or a high end boutique (or even a big store, sometimes it happens!), I will always look for quality and craftsmanship. A good fabric or fabric blend, something that has a nice hand-feel, solid hardware, reinforced and neat seams and openings, straight stitching, seam allowance, and linings are just a few things I look for.

Your sustainability priorities are going to look different. And it may seem selfish to not actively think about all the other problems that afflict fashion, but we have to trust that other people who care are focusing on their values.

This is the beauty and strength of community. It’s also the beauty and strength of our differences.

NEWS!

Hello! In our last membership live, I shared how I have finally started to feel grounded after 3 years of post-divorce ambiguity and what that’s doing to my style (including randomly trying on wedding dresses I have no intention of buying or wearing anytime soon lol maybe i’ll write about it next time!).

This weekend I actually took the time to enjoy some of the sweetest parts of my neighbourhood. Some new local vintage shops, a magical ice rink, and a forest run - I didn’t think I would enjoy a winter weekend so much.

That being said, not being in Italy in winter means I am slowly shriveling up into a tired looking vampire. I recently had a skin barrier issue when I tried a new moisturizer/SPF combo. While it was repairing, the only thing my skin could handle was the merit great skin serum and moisturizer. I’ve always used these products, and yes they were gifted to me from a past collaboration, but ohmygod did they prove their awesomeness when my peeling dry skin needed it. I couldn’t put anything else on my skin except for Merit during the day, and the Avene Cicalfate at night to rebuild and repair. They truly are gentle but powerful.

If you’re interested in more topics like today’s, you’ll love my last Youtube video about building your dream sustainable wardrobe (which is a trick question!). And of course, if you ever want to talk through caring about the planet but still loving fashion and all things beautiful - my membership is a great place to be! I hope you’ll join!

Alyssa
xx

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But I’m also discouraged to see the concept slowly flattened into something that feels more aesthetic, performative, and trendy than the deep work and mindset shift it actually is.

And honestly? The move to optimized short form content that distills complex mindset shifts into dopamine-paced tidbits of information has me feeling lost.

Like, really lost.

I’M A BAD INFLUENCER

I’ve said it before to my friends that I’m a bad influencer/content creator/whatever you want to call it these days. Not because I don’t care enough about slow fashion or the planet but because I’m too wordy for short form (I’m pretty sure this post is going to be evidence of that - it will be very long, buckle up!), I’m too stubborn to participate in something that feels so mainstream (some weird social trait I picked up from my dad who always goes against whatever everyone else wants to do … I think he does this for his own personal amusement but I’m sure there’s some sort of ego thing at play here which I’ve inherited. Does anyone else do this? ANYWAY - thanks dad!), I’m not one of those insanely cool girls whose style and personality are so stratospherically charming that they can advocate being anti-trend and anti-male gaze with about as much effort as it takes my cat Apollo to nap in the sun. And finally, I don’t have a dramatic internet-friendly transformation story.

I’m not fishing, these are all facts I’m totally comfortable with (OK maybe I would like to be a little bit more like those cool girls, not going to lie).

For those of you who have stuck around the past year or two as I recalibrate both my personal life post-divorce and my online life as the landscape shifts; thank you. Because even though my transformation hasn’t been dramatic, there has still been a transformation from when I first discovered my love of fashion to how I feel about it now.

MY BORING TRANSFORMATION STORY

I was always very particular about how I dressed and looked - even from a young age. I think this has to do with being raised in an Italian/Canadian household. Presenting yourself in the best way possible was paramount. The focus was never on wearing what was on trend but simply looking my best with what was in my closet. I always had a consistent style. I didn’t experiment, I didn’t have phases or eras. I don’t know if this is consistency, being self-aware, or being afraid of experimentation but here we are. The outfit I wore on my first day of business school is something I wear consistently now: a button up shirt and jeans/pants.

When I started my finance career I started paying more attention to Fashion. This was the time where Style.com was posting runway shows reviewed by Nicole Phelps and Tim Gunn, fashion bloggers like Aimee Song and Chiara Ferragni were going global, street style photography exploded … I devoured all of it. Any volume shopping I did was vintage or secondhand. I learned to spot quality, learned about shopping for my fantasy self. I slowly realized that getting dressed was the most exciting part of my day and my natural skills weren’t being utilized in my day to day at the office.

With encouragement from my then-husband, I left a golden pension and generous salary (for a 26 old) to manage a local luxury boutique. I learned quickly that I did not want to own a boutique but did gain foundational styling knowledge and discernment from someone who I still believe is one of the most talented stylists/buyers in Canada. (You won’t find her online, she’s boutique, she’s discreet, she’s discerning - none of these things are loud in today’s fashion world and i think that’s why her approach resonated).

As much as I learned from this experience, I left the boutique and got lucky enough to build a portfolio as a freelance wardrobe stylist. The work wasn’t sexy. I worked on government and commercial ad campaigns, tv segments, a local shopping center, individuals … I didn’t progress to being represented or working on editorial campaigns because I wasn’t in Toronto, and while all this was happening, my then-husband and I moved from a 1200 square foot townhome to a 700 square foot condo.

I had both financial and physical limitations to the amount of clothes I could buy and own.

That’s when everything changed. Not only could I not afford to buy a lot of new clothes, I literally didn’t have the space for them. A garment needed to earn a spot in my closet. This new reality coupled with the on-set styling skills I had gained helped me understand clothing as a tool that could be repurposed instead of something that had to be constantly updated to produce a good outfit. I didn’t realize it at the time, but that’s when I started seeing clothes as elements of style. The foundation for a lot of my content today.

A few years into styling and I started to become aware of the detrimental effects of the fashion industry. (Thanks The True Cost!) I saw the mountains of used clothes in deserts, the inhumane working conditions, the racks and racks of cheap clothing only to be discarded after a few wears. I saw magazine articles making absurd exclusivity claims (the ONLY jeans to wear this season) and marketing that heightened our sense of scarcity (buy now before they’re gone!). Trends started to feel more like manipulation, and social media started to feel less like a fertile ground for individual expression and more like a dissolution of creative and critical thought.

And as for slow or sustainable fashion? It was still relegated to those who had the patience to grow onions in their backyard and use the skins to dye their natural hemp-pants. It felt exclusive, shamey, guilt-inducing, and honestly? Not stylish at all.

I decided to offer what I saw as the most economic and inclusive solution which not many people were talking about at the time. Styling what you already had. I realized that I did this all the time anyway thanks to my new reality.

I was choosing quality over quantity.

I was using trends as inspiration and a guidepost, not a greenlight for a new style identity.

I practiced shopping my closet first before any event and usually came up with something that still felt great.

I started using a wishlist to guide more intentional purchases.

I started taking better care of my clothes - steaming, storing correctly.

I repeated outfits, even if people had already seen me in them.

I started saving inspiration all the time and using it to shop my closet.

When I tried to inject these slow fashion behaviours into my freelance work, I got a lot of pushback so I started a Youtube channel, not thinking anyone would be interested in choosing creativity instead of consumption.

But they were interested. You were interested.

WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED

It was in building my channel and a community around it where some of my most important practices for shopping less but better solidified.

The more I created, the more I heard from you that choosing creativity over consumption also led us to start choosing compassion instead of comparison. Curiosity instead of judgment. Individual taste instead of trend-led conformity. I am learning so. much. What’s been amazing is seeing this community grow into something beyond the trend of slow fashion. It’s a mirror of our lives, where the lessons of slowing down extend far beyond our closets and into our daily lives.

The biggest piece though? Through building the channel and this work I also started to build self-worth and self-trust. I still don’t know exactly when self-worth entered the room - only that it was present before I could see it, and only became durable once I learned how to practice it.

Fast forward to a life where I had divorced my husband (we’re still friends, he is a great human) and am currently navigating (barely!) in an industry and technical environment that look wildly different from where I left them.

I never took a break from creating youtube videos or digital events, but this still feels like a new world that I am wrestling with. Much like my slow story of transformation, I am still learning and figuring it out.

And ultimately, that’s what it’s all about. It was never about becoming a content creator full time, or even a slow fashion educator. It was simply about figuring out how to balance the very human feelings of need, novelty, self-expression, belonging, and literally just wanting to be cool (those girls again!) - with wanting to be a good steward of this earth and the people on it. It’s a hard balance to strike! We won’t always get it right. But I’m grateful you’re here with me (are you still here?? This is long!) as we figure it out together.

So I guess after all that, if you’re still reading and feel the same way, tell me what your biggest struggles are in being sustainably vain?

NEWS!

I hope you had an amazing end of 2025! I’m currently in Canada but so looking forward to an upcoming trip to Italy in the Spring. More details to come!

This month in the membership, our focus is style as a system: how to have good style without chasing goals, trends, or perfection. Every week I share prompts and a curated style board with inspiration to help you deepen your relationship with yourself, your closet, but also get back to HAVING FUN with clothes. If you’re in the membership - I can’t wait to see you in our next live! I’m scheduling them today.

I have also been wearing the belt I designed non-stop this winter to bring some much needed polish to basic winter looks (especially after feeling more like a holiday potato than anything else). Find it HERE - it’s made in Canada by an awesome family-owned company!

Have a wonderful start to your January!
Alyssa
xx

Rather than thinking about layering items; let’s think about layering elements. This frees us from the limitations we may think we have in our closets and instead opens us up to more creative thinking.

In this picture of the amazing Karen we might think of the layers as: amazing paisley coat layered over a cool swingy floral dress. Thin black belt layered over both.
And this is fine. But if we use those elements as our inspiration, we’re going to truncate the process as soon as we look in our closet and come up empty handed. We’ve stopped ourselves from being creative before getting dressed! This can lead to frustration or a sense of lack in our closets.

So instead, let’s look at these layers from the perspective of elements of style.

Layered silhouettes: something delicate and with lots of movement layered under something structured and more rigid. Now we’re not looking for a specific dress or coat, we’re looking for pieces that have movement and flow, and overlays that have structure. Easier, yes?

Layered prints: two organic prints with a common denominator colour of red/orange. Do your prints need to be floral and paisley? Do they need to have rusty red/burgundy and pale orange? NO. The key to this flawless print mixing by Karen is the following: 1) the scale of the prints is similar (they’re the same size), 2) they’re both organic (soft, rounded shapes), 3) there is at least one colour that is common between both.

Layering accessories: the belt is cinching the entire silhouette - not just the dress. This makes for a tougher look and calls to the doc martens. Had the belt been layered over just the dress, it would have made a more subtle, polished statement and the boots would have felt a bit off. Accessories are personal, and in this case they alter the shape of the outfit. Do you need to cinch your waist? NO - consider adding jewelry, a scarf, a purse - anything which calls to something else in your look … Which brings me to my next point …

Layering different styles: the dress feels romantic, the coat is giving quirky professor and the boots and belt are city-ready-stomping. We can combine different style personalities in an outfit but physically layering them in this way requires a bit more boldness and a lot of style confidence/experience. The point is, these moods may not inspire you, but they might give you an idea to mix different pieces in your closet that you don’t think belong together.

Layering proportions: The dress and coat are the same hem length. This look is busy, but the harmonious hemline is part of what makes it feel cohesive and cool. We’re able to take this look in as a whole because of all the other elements I mentioned above. I think if the hemlines would have been drastically different, our eye wouldn’t know where to look. The harmonious layering of proportions makes this look feel balanced despite all the visual interest. Here’s another example of layered proportions:

This look is composed of minimal garments, but the proportions are dramatic. There are two extra long layers over wide leg pants. We have volume layered on top of volume. And layered a long jacket layered over a long shirt.

You see? So many different layering options for us to be inspired by in this SINGLE outfit. Now we can dive into our closet and experiment with layering different elements based on what we like! With one very important caveat …

DON’T GO INTO YOUR CLOSET AND PUT TOGETHER ALL THE PRINTS AND VIBES AND BELT EVERYTHING JUST BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT’S IN THE INSPO. Yes that required all caps.

Copying without curation isn’t creative. The beauty of identifying elements of style is that we get to choose which ones we want to play with and how we apply them. Outside of this example, there are other elements we can layer:

Textures: This is the most obvious and fun for fall. This time of year is the introduction of cozy and interesting textures like leather, suede, knitwear … all the things. Layering different textures adds depth to an outfit. This is especially helpful if you like neutrals and minimal garments, or don’t want to layer 3,576 items of clothing. Here’s an example:

This is a herringbone weave blazer layered over a lightweight knit. It’s layering two elements: print and texture! That’s a solid visual punch with just two items (we haven’t even touched on the fuzzy-looking purse! pun totally intended) Even though the herringbone isn’t necessarily a traditional “print”, it comes across as one, and is a heavier fabric vs. the lightweight top underneath. This look feels rich without a ton of garment layers.

Outerwear: I know this isn’t necessarily an element of style, but outerwear can be generalized as a prompt to try layering our vests, coats and jackets in different ways. It’s not about owning specific types of outerwear; just take the ones you do have and try layering them! Just make sure you’re starting with the tightest close to your body and getting bigger as you move outward! (I know this seems obvious but it’s worth mentioning!)

I’m including some of my favourite layered looks I’ve saved over the past week or so. Can you see the elements of style that are being layered?

NEWS

Every month in my paid community, we have a different focus and this month is layering! We share outfits, feedback, questions, and help each other with shopping habits and so much more. In our last live I shared some struggles, wins, and we had a good chat about working through uncomfortable situtions and how that affects our shopping habits. I learn so much from this group!

Thank you everyone who came to this month’s live Shop Your Closet! The next one will be in December but in the meantime, I’m working with aweventure to gauge interest in a potential group trip to Milan :) You can sign up to show your interest HERE.

Thank you for being here!
Alyssa
xx

Below are a handful of questions to ask yourself and quick and easy exercises to do if you’re struggling with how you want to show up and/or putting together outfits that reflect that.

These are questions and exercises I use with clients and full disclaimer: Pinterest is not involved. At least not at this stage. Style inspiration is everywhere and goes beyond our closet. Personal style is also more than just our clothes: it’s how we walk, answer the phone, the architecture and art we’re drawn to - I personally believe that how we take our coffee or tea gives us a glimpse into our personal aesthetic tastes! The less we think about style as shopping, the better we’ll get at styling ourselves with what’s already in our wardrobe and buying fewer, better things.

Here we go!

If you’re struggling to identify your style, or pull outfits together that represent who you are, step away from Pinterest (not forever, just this first bit!) and take a look at your life. Here are some prompts, questions, and exercises to help you define your style. Next week, I’ll share how to translate your style identity (which we could also call your personal identity - I think they’re interchangeable) into an outfit by using the clothes you already have. Essentially, by shopping your closet!

QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF

1 - How would my friends describe me? This one gets to the root of who you are from a positive lens. We can be our own worst critics. I love this question because it centres your personality, not your looks or your clothes.

2 - If a stranger saw me on the street, how would they describe me? This one is aspirational. How do you want to be perceived? What’s the vibe you want to project? This question brings aesthetics and vanity into the picture. This is important! Fashion is fun!

QUICK EXERCISES

1 - Take a look at the outfits you wore last week. What did you like about them? What were the common elements that you repeated? What are the elements of style that are standing out to you? Are there colours, textures, prints that you gravitate to on repeat? How do they make you feel? What didn’t you like? This is just as important.

2 - Look at past photos of yourself. Sure, maybe some are cringe, but what did you like about those past outfits? What made you feel good? Again: it’s all about the elements here. Look for recurring silhouettes, shapes, fabrics or colours. Pay attention to proportions. Did you like big, voluminous tops? Billowy skirts? Or form-fitting dresses? A lot of these may have been a reflection of the cultural moment, but zoom out and look at them objectively now: do you like those shapes on you?

3 - When you’re getting dressed next week, ask yourself how you want to feel. Don’t worry about what you’re going to wear. Figure out how you want to feel. Pull clothes that give you that feeling. At the end of the week ask yourself if there was any consistency in what you wanted to project. For example, do you always want to feel elegant - even in casual situations? Or maybe feeling athletic and strong is what keeps you grounded in any situation. If you want you can write these down every day, but it’s not necessary. Just pay attention.

REFLECTIONS

1 - When you were a kid, how did you spend your free time? Were you hyper social? Did you do arts and crafts? Play dress-up and put on shows for your family? (Guilty!) Were you a quiet reader?

2 - What music do you like to listen to? What kind of art do you like? How do you like to decorate?

3 - Are you adventurous with your food? Do you like to try new things?

Hopefully these reflections help you discover how you’d like to show up and how you want your closet to reflect that. Getting to know ourselves is constant. We won’t define our style or who we are overnight, and it’s a always a moving target. If you take anything from this newsletter, remember that style goes beyond your clothes - they dont define you. You’re the one writing the story and your clothes support that!

NEWS !

This is the last week to buy a ticket for Saturday’s Live Shop Your Closet event! I won’t be doing as many of these events this year to focus on other projects, so grab a ticket! September’s theme is taking the best styling tips from Italians for fall! I style people with different bodies and styles by dressing two guests live and in real-time. You’re not on camera, but you get inspiration looks in advance and can submit photos of your own interpretation - so we all leave with TONS of outfit inspo for fall. It’s a great way to dig into fundamental styling principles like proportions, silhouette, texture, and colour! This month, you’ll also get a European travel capsule crafted by me, with tons of suggested outfits for different travel scenarios. It’s jam packed with ideas to get you excited about fall outfits!

Belts are having a moment! I made a smashing belt with Brave Leather that so many of you are still loving! I created this belt because I’ve always loved how this accessory adds polish, but also because my closet is fairly neutral and classic and my belt adds texture and shine. If you’re getting back into the workplace and want to elevate your office fits, add this belt! It’s proudly made to order in Canada by an awesome family.

I’ve mentioned this about 3,564 times already but I was in Scientific American! The article is full of resources to better understand the impact of our fabric choices and ideas to help you shop less but better. Read it here.

Thank you as always for reading and caring about slow fashion.

See you next week!
A

So.

I’m looking at all this beautiful produce going bad that I receive weekly (if you’re in Canada and you don’t use odd bunch what are you waiting for!?) (Not sponsored, I just love how they reduce food waste and insecurity) and I think: a fridge full of food and I can’t put together a meal that’s more than a salad.

SOUND FAMILIAR?

There’s a lot of talk about wardrobe gaps and defining our style, but one thing almost everyone needs more of is time.

Time to create a considered look.

Time to save for a meaningful item.

Time to hunt through racks of secondhand items.

Time to think about how we want to show up on any given day.

Time to create some shitty outfits in the mirror before we land on a good one.

Time to take things to the tailor or seamstress.

Time to alter or upcycle clothes we’re bored of.

Time to re-imagine an old piece with a different pair of shoes.

Time to lint roll, cuff, tuck, and adjust.

Time to make sure our outfits for the week are laundered and ready to wear.

None of these have to do with adding more to our closets.

How much time do you have?

Can you carve out a little bit for yourself to make sure you show up the way you want to?

As women, we are often told that spending time on fashion and beauty is frivolous. Sometimes, there’s shame wrapped up in our vanity.

But we cannot be told that we are too vain because we care about our appearance when at the same time up to 40% of our potential earning income depends on how we look. (This blew my mind too)

I’m not a fan of double standards, and I don’t think you are either.

So whether you have oodles of hours to dedicate to your personal style or a precious 5 minutes before heading out the door, THIS video has easy, totally doable tips to up level your outfit depending how much time you have. If you don’t have time for a deep dive, keep reading.

HOW TO UP LEVEL YOUR STYLE IN NO TIME (lol couldn’t help the pun, sorry!)

A FEW HOURS
Make an afternoon or morning date with yourself once a week or once a month to build outfits from a place of calm. Play dress up. Use trial and error. Mess up. The point is that you’ve actually put something in your calendar and your friends and family will respect that time you’ve set aside for yourself. Sometimes you need to book a session with a stylist (shameless plug! I take appointments seasonally in Aug/Sep and March/April - all the time if you’re a member of the community!)

15 MINUTES/ALL DAY
Test run new or “maybe” outfits in a safe space or at home. If we put together an outfit that we’re unsure of 10 minutes before we’re supposed to face the day, chances are we won’t want to take the risk and change into something we’ve worn 4,968 times. Great. Now you think your closet is boring and needs more options.

Not true - you just need a safe space to test run risky outfits. As low stakes as fashion is, we don’t want to step out of our comfort zone when we need to impress a client or make our ex jealous. (jk i’m not that petty but boy does it feel good!)

5 MINUTES
Take a photo or quick video of your outfit. This isn’t a new idea in 2025 but back when I made this video in 2021, it wasn’t so circulated. (Please excuse that moment of self-congratulation sometimes I need to allow myself a pat on the back OK?! ALSO - I’m STILL doing live virtual events and have one coming up - buy a ticket!) Apps like Indyx, make keeping a log of inspiration outfits easy. I also encourage you to take pictures of outfits you don’t like, because understanding how we don’t want to feel and how we don’t want to look is equally helpful in eliminating redundant purchases.

3 MINUTES
Give yourself a once over. If all you have is 3 minutes, use those to add some love to whatever outfit you have on. Lint roll. Add a personal accessory like a watch or an initial necklace. Change your earrings. Try cuffing or scrunching up your sleeves. Throw on a scarf.

LOOK AT ALL THOSE OPTIONS!

I hope that today’s newsletter gives you permission to take time for yourself. It’s not frivolous. We can’t show up for our community when we’re feeling like poop because of an uninspired outfit.

Love,
Alyssa
xx

NEWS!

We’re going to be doing two lives a month in the membership community. The next one is this Friday! This one will be dedicated to any styling questions you may have - ask the group, or ask me! It’s like a fun styling session with your wise and fun girlfriends. The second live will be about our monthly homework - usually a shop your closet styling challenge - and where we get into deeper topics too!

There are still tickets left for this month’s live Shop Your Closet event! The theme is how to dress like an Italian, and I have two models lined up so you can understand how styling proportions, textures, and silhouettes works on different bodies. This is such a good style purchase if you want to learn how to shop less by re-styling what you already have into new outfits. We’ll talk a little bit about fall trends, too! AND - I’m including an Italian travel capsule with a ton of outfit ideas and my top suggested items for the job of traveling in Italy.

Recently I did a FREE live on my Youtube channel where I talked about what clothes I missed in Italy, and living in Italy in general. Watch it HERE!

Thank you so much for being here and have a great week!

It isn’t the pasta (but yes, I do miss it - why doesn’t food taste the same in Canada?!)
It isn’t the style (although now I am regularly starved for good outfits to learn from)
It isn’t even the coffee (I give up on finding good coffee here and switch back to tea)

It’s the tiny, random, intangible things like the smell of my aunt’s cleaning products and fresh laundry.

It’s the sound of multiple saucers hitting a coffee bar, followed by ceramic on ceramic, then the clink of little spoons. Usually accompanied by morning chatter.

It’s the way Italians always greet you: on the street, when you walk into a shop, when you leave a cafe. Even if you’re complete strangers, common courtesies are observed and they make you feel a little more human. The Italian word for this is gentillezza. Translated it means kindness but that feels like too much of an understatement.

It’s the way I prepare myself for negotiation when I have to get anything remotely useful done.

It’s the striking dichotomy of seeing so much painstaking effort to create something beautiful while being so nonchalant about it. As in, putting in effort to make something beautiful is simply a part of life and therefore, effortless.

While I’m in Canada, there are Italian habits that I maintain to help me keep that Italian spirit of fully living. It’s easy to get caught up in the North American ideology of individualism and working for status or for whatever motivates you. As much as I love what I do - living in Italy made me realize that even if your work fills you up, there is also so much life to be lived. Your friends, your family, the food you eat, the way you spend your time, how you dress and express yourself, the art you take in, the scents and vistas you cherish, the memories you make. None of these cost a thing except for your time. And while Italians are notorious for being slow, there’s merit to giving our time to the people and simple pleasures we love most.

So in an effort to keep myself grounded and not get caught up in a place I never feel quite settled in, these are the Italian habits that make me feel connected to the slowness and richness of Italian life.

1 - Walking. (not for the purpose of “getting your steps in”) I try to walk more than I drive. I recently cancelled my gym membership because I had a visceral negative reaction to getting into my car for physical activity. It just makes no sense to me. If it works for you, amazing. I know there are some fantastic programs and equipment that we can’t access without a gym membership. But if I get another one, I’ll make sure I can walk there.

Italians walk a lot by nature of their cities, but there is often a post-meal walking ritual called a passeggiata. It allows time to digest, to discuss your day with friends and family, but also a time to be in community. You’ll often see neighbours stop to talk to each other on their passeggiata, allowing them time to connect and check in with each other.
I only met a handful of people who wore fitbits or watches to count their steps. Usually of younger generations, but I’m staying old school and walking for the sheer movement and joy of it. And as my main method of transportation when possible. (Although it’s a challenge where I live)

2 - Lunch. In Italy lunch was the biggest meal of my day. I would stop and cook myself a full meal. It took me about an hour and a half from start to finish. No standing at the counter, no eating at my desk. (which was usually a kitchen table since I was in a short term rental). This break allowed me to pause and reset before my afternoon. It gave my brain a rest and nourished both my body and my mind. Lunch is typically the bigger of the day in Italy, and I think it’s a great way to force slowness and connection - with ourselves or others. I’ve already found myself zooming through my lunch hour, so writing this is a great reminder to spend my time cooking a proper meal (even if it’s a simple salad and fish).

3 - Be social. As an introvert, this one is tough. I have to be in the right mood to say hello to strangers or go out with new friends, but in Italy I was compelled to express common courtesy even on days when I didn’t want to make eye contact with other humans. I was included in plans from people I had only just met. I was invited out by strangers. Having a good time with others and sharing it is a priority. This took me a while to adjust to, since my priority was usually getting my work done.

The first few times I would exit a cafe or store without saying goodbye and thank you to the staff - even if I hadn’t interacted with them - they went out of their way to wish me a good day. That’s when I realized I was being rude by not thanking them or saying goodbye. Similarly, I started saying hello to people I would pass on the street if it was just two of us. It’s a stark contrast to the time I greeted someone at a streetcar stop in Toronto and was blatantly ignored. Oops.

I won’t stop offering up these common courtesies to strangers even if they think I’m weird. It adds warmth and connection to my life and hopefully the lives of others. I think we need both of those right now.

4 - Get dressed. Not just put on whatever is clean and unwrinkled and get myself out the door or to my desk. I mean taking pride in my outfit. Choosing items that tell a story, adding accessories that personalize, picking out shoes that get me to my destination with flair. Yes, it takes more time and thought, but dressing in this deliberate way is a sign of respect and pride for myself, and also to others and my environment. Fare bella figura is an Italian expression which is about putting your best self forward. It may seem superficial, but Italians know the benefits of being well dressed. It sharpens your mind too. When you look good, you feel good, and we can better serve ourselves and our communities coming from this place.

5 - Eat seasonal. This is difficult in Canada the further we head into fall and winter, but eating seasonally in Italy forced me to learn about my local climate, environment, and to get creative with my food. I still went to the supermercato (big grocer), but for produce and protein I would find my local fish store and produce stand. The closer we are to our food source, the greater respect we have for it. You can bet I diligently ate any leftovers and finished as much as I could when I bought mussels that were freshly caught in the morning.

There are so many more things I miss about Italy, but for now these are the habits that are keeping me in check with my Italian roots and the live I want to live.

NEWS!

Tickets to my next live workshop are available! It is on September 20th at 1PM EST. We have two amazing guests this time around, and the theme is dressing like an Italian! I’m sharing my best style learnings from Italy and you’ll see how I use my proven method of elements of style to shop our guests closets live and in real time ! I hope you can make it!

I still have spots open for virtual styling until October 31st! They will open back up again in the Spring - book your session now if you want some fall styling!

My most recent Youtube video is all about getting dressed for the office - September feels like back to school/work, but there’s no need for us to sacrifice style or creativity for stuffy suits. Watch it here!

Thank you for being here and have a great week!

Alyssa

xx

“Once i nail my colour palette, i’ll have a perfect capsule wardrobe”

“I’ll shop less and love all my outfits when I figure out my personal style”

Have you ever thought or said any of these? You might not like it, but I’m here to tell you to forget about style goals like this.

Forget about building the perfect wardr…

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If you’ve been with me for a while, you are likely familiar with my method of shopping your closet. The idea is pretty simple; I take elements of art and design like silhouettes, proportions, textures, and colours (and more!) and I apply them to fashion and style. I have 10 years of Youtube videos all about it, but I want to use the power of long form written content (yay og blog posts!) to dig into how we can use this method to create even MORE looks from just one inspiration image.

If you have no idea what I’m talking about, don’t worry. I’ll get you up to speed in this newsletter.

Most of us are familiar with sourcing outfit inspiration, but translating it to our own personal style can be a challenge. If we buy the same pieces as our inspiration, the outfit falls flat. Even if we shop our closets for pieces that are similar to our inspiration, we come close but sometimes the outfit doesn’t quite hit the mark.

A helpful exercise is to identify the elements of style or common themes in our inspiration, find those elements within our existing wardrobe, and create a new look using what we already have. But why stop at just one new outfit?

Here’s how I took this one outfit inspiration from the Chloe SS 25 runway show, and turned it into 6 new looks that I had never put together before.

First things first: Identify the elements of style in the inspiration.

There are a lot of elements at play, so I divide them into 3 categories.

MOOD: what’s this look giving? How would you describe it? Identifying this helps us understand what we like about the outfit and how we want to feel in it. This will inform which elements of style we pull from our closet.

For this example, I would describe this look as: creative, purposeful, powerful, 70s and early aughts references. You might see something different! And that’s awesome. This point of view is what will make your look feel more authentic.

SHAPE: I like to think of shape in terms of silhouette and proportion. Here, the silhouette is structured, there’s clean tailoring, with a slightly relaxed fit. The proportions are lengthy (that’s what monochrome and a long hem will do!) and elongating. We see a column. There isn’t a big difference in volume, so I would say the proportions feel balanced.

STYLING: This is the catch all. How are colours being used? Textures? Accessories? Or tweaks to make the look feel lived-in? In this look, the most obvious is the monochrome colour palette (all one colour), high contrast (shoes!), texture play (lace vs. wool suit), and mixing two very different style personalities (business suit vs. creative and folksy)

Now that we’ve broken down this inspiration into elements, we’ve pulled the focus away from the cream suit (as gorgeous as it is!), lace top and platform sandals. Instead, now I’m looking for elements like tailoring, neutrals, textures, and mixing unexpected pieces together. I know I have some of these in my closet already.

Personally, this helps so much with envy or fomo I get from not owning any of these items (even though I want to! If I’m really struggling to create the look I want, doing this exercise helps identify a true gap in my wardrobe). It’s also more affordable, and more fun than buying something I may not need or truly want.

I didn’t take science beyond grade 11 chemistry, but something about this whole process reminds me of learning the periodic table of elements and rearranging the elements to create different compounds and materials. It’s the same thing, yes? Kind of? Is that a stretch?

ANYWAY.

Here are all the new outfits I created just by rearranging the elements in the inspiration. I’ve added the elements to each photo so you can see how they’ve been arranged. I love doing this because it allows me to truly personalize the look by choosing which elements appeal to me, rearranging them to suit my body and personal style.

So many of these looks are far from the inspiration, and that’s OK! Exercises like this help me realize that fundamentally, I am not a boho-chic-cool person. I lean towards structure, polish, and almost corporate-vibes. And that’s OK! I never would have come up with these looks without this prompt, and learned a lot about my style in the process.

I hope this helps you play dress up in your closet and fall in love with shopping your closet!

In other news …

If you’re a video person, I created a Youtube video that covers this concept and all these looks in detail. Watch it here!

This month in my membership community, we’re focusing on getting dressed for the FUN of it. I know I just spewed out a process for creating new outfits, but the BEST way to discover and hone our styling skills is by getting off our phones or computers and messing around in our closets. So that’s what we’re doing! Join us here

Things I’m eyeing but not buying (yet!)

Something new i’m trying!

Instagram ads were actually serving me some useful services, and I discovered oddbunch.ca. I get beautiful produce delivered to my door that would have otherwise been sent to the garbage due to imperfections. I subscribed IMMEDIATELY after seeing the ad. It’s Canadian, makes groceries affordable, AND reduces food waste. I am in love. It’s only been two weeks, and my most recent box was missing an item and they have yet to respond to my email, but I’m rooting for this kind of business to succeed because it’s the kind of community-minded and resourceful thinking I think we need.

A place I’m bookmarking

I’m going to Toronto soon, and am so looking forward to a visit to nutbar. It’s a great little spot with delicious smoothies and shakes. It costs the same as a full meal (lol) but it’s a one-time treat which I love.

Thank you so much for being here and have a wonderful month of August!
Alyssa
xx

In this month’s free newsletter I talked about being overdressed and how to strike the elusive balance between dressing for your reality and your aspirational self. In today’s newsletter, I’m sharing some examples of what this looks like using some classic summer outfit formulas that we already have in our closet. Uniform dressing is great for seasons t…

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Since landing back on Canadian soil, I made a commitment to myself to continue dressing as if I was still in Italy, even though I’m currently in one of Canada’s most laid back and unimaginative cities. It’s only been two weeks, but liberating myself from the confines of my city’s aesthetic has been a powerful exercise so far.

Kitten heels to the grocery store? Why not. A coordinated skirt and shirt combo for an eye appointment? Great. Feeling overdressed compared to flip flops and short sundress combos that were prevalent? Not in the least.

I’m not sure what’s changed, but instead of feeling self-conscious about not blending in, I just feel good. I’m proud of the fact that I don’t look like a typical errand-goer. But I also don’t feel out of place. This isn’t new - I’ve always preferred taking a contrarian, (if at times more lonely) route since I was young - but for some reason, now I am comfortable expressing this point of view through my clothing. There are a few things I think it boils down to, so I'm sharing them with you today.

1 - find some balance

While I love dressing for me and myself alone, it is so satisfying to dress in a way that also honours our surroundings from our own point of view. It’s an elusive sweet spot where two worlds meet: our own authentic selves and our external environment. The balance is in elements of style: using things like texture, colour, or a design detail to give a nod to our surroundings.

For example, I feel best in tailored separates and clothes that feel at home in a corporate setting. That doesn’t make sense for my surroundings or even my own work, but I can find a balance. I do it by choosing more structured shapes with clean lines, but honour my surroundings with a casual balance of soft colours and laid-back textures in this skirt and shirt combo.

The skirt is pencil and has some diagonal darts to give it structure and architectural shape. The shirt is a relaxed fit button down, but both pieces are denim. Denim is synonymous with relaxed vibes, but even more so when it’s in a medium to light wash, like my entire outfit.

By prioritizing the elements which I resonate with most (structure, tailoring), then injecting other elements that spoke to my environment (laid-back texture and colour), I created an outfit that felt both true to me, different, yet not completely outlandish for where I was.

Italians are masters at blending style and function. Finding this balance allows us to do both.

2 - make something beautiful

Maybe it’s the Italian style sensibility that got knocked into me, but I appreciate beautiful things. Italians are masters at creating beautiful surroundings, beautiful food, cars, shoes, clothes, dishes, even insignificant details are given attention to ensure they’re not only functional, but they’re nice to look at too … the aesthetic presentation of anything is paramount to Italians. It’s simply part of their culture. Even if my surroundings aren’t the most beautiful, I can still contribute to beauty. I appreciate when someone else puts effort into their outfit, so why wouldn’t I do the same? This attitude reminds me of la bella figura. The Italian attitude of la bella figura is rooted in showing respect for ourselves and others through how we show up and move through the world. It may seem vain on the surface, but taking care of ourselves through our appearance and clothes can have a direct impact on our self esteem. There’s nothing vain about wanting to look good and feel good. Especially because when we feel good, we can better serve our communities and those around us. What I especially love about the idea of bella figura is that it does not center consumption. You can practice it with what you already own.

This practice doesn’t have to be groundbreaking. It can be as simple as adding a thoughtful accessory, steaming your clothes before putting them on, or being intentional about colour choices.

3 - self-confidence

This might seem obvious, but self-assuredness is necessary to dressing slightly out of our comfort zone, or at least in a way that will potentially stand out in our environment. If we don’t own our outfit (not in the financial sense), it will feel off. For others, but most importantly for ourselves. Unfortunately, this can’t be bottled up and sold, or even shared in a step by step guide. But that’s also the beauty of becoming unapologetic about who we are and exploring personal growth. It’s a personal endeavour that belongs to nobody but us. We’ve got to face the worst of ourselves and still accept what we find. And hopefully at some point; love what we find. We get closer to this conversation in our membership community, but this topic is crucial to personal style and i’m happy to discuss it more here, on IG and Youtube channel if you’re interested.

For now though,

I’m going to keep dressing as though I’m in Italy. I love the way it pushes me to be more thoughtful and bold about my outfits - even if I’m not going anywhere. I challenge us all to try this! We know we feel better when we put thought into our outfits, but putting it into practice isn’t always easy. Try this challenge! If you’ve ever visited a city that inspired you or if you’ve resonated more with another environment than your current one; try using this as a jumping off point for your daily style inspiration.

When we’re standing in front of our closets with nothing to wear, it’s because we are fresh out of ideas or motivation to put together a thoughtful outfit. This little style challenge might help.

In my membership community, we’ll be working on this all month and sharing our outfits and inspirations. To get us started, I’ve included some of my Italian summer style inspiration. Shop your closet for these looks, or join the membership to see how others shop their closets for this challenge and get even more inspiration!

IN OTHER NEWS …

I’m back on Youtube after a 3 week break! This was the LONGEST time I’ve ever taken off from the channel and I missed it. But like all pauses, it was necessary. Thank you for your patience! Watch last Sunday’s video - it’s got my top tips for staying stylish in the heat without having to add ANYTHING to cart.

I was quoted in Scientific American! I’m honoured, shocked, and am still trying to figure out a way to break the news to the men in my family who are all prolific scientists, engineers, or doctors. the irony is killing me.

Italian Summer Inspo - Things I’m eyeing but not buying (yet)

a dish I can’t get enough of …

Italy also changed my relationship with food and cooking which I was NOT expecting. I now find myself taking time every day before lunch to properly cook a meal, where before I would stand at my counter eating leftovers. This recipe from Emily English has become a fave. I recreated it without the ham as I avoid pork when I can. Happy to report it was still delicious and I will now be adding zuchini ribbons to every long pasta dish I create!

a place I bookmarked to return …

I stayed at Livantea resort just outside of Otranto, and it was one of the best hotel experiences I’ve ever had. It’s owned and operated by a fantastic couple - I met Enza after driving several hours down the Puglian coast while my amazing friend Larissa wrangled Apollo every time he decided he wanted to drive. She welcomed all three of us so warmly and made sure we were instantly comfortable and relaxed. This resort is small, intimate, tranquil and full of good vibes. The breakfast is different every day but always features local homemade goods - a yogurt bar, sweet and savoury pastries, fresh fruit. The pool feels like an oasis and it’s surrounded by olive trees - the quintessential Puglian oasis. If you are interested in the Salento region of Puglia, book this place asap.

Thank you so much for being here and have a wonderful month of July!
Alyssa
xx

I’m writing today’s newsletter from a little patio at my hotel in the Salento region of Puglia, a day before a milestone birthday. There’s nothing like a birthday to encourage some reflection, and I’ve learned a lot since starting my own business, getting a divorce, and styling women over the years. Today I'm sharing the lessons and advice that changed the course of my life for the better. No matter where you’re at, I hope you find some of these helpful.

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My step by step method for packing a travel capsule that you’ll actually love to wear and not get tired of.

In yesterday’s Youtube video, I documented my entire process of building a travel capsule from scratch. Having just come back from the trip and being thoroughly satisfied with everything I brought, I thought it was sound enough to share the process I use every time I have to create a travel capsule I will actually want to wear. So let’s get into it!

STEP 1 - How do I Want to Feel?

We often start building outfits by asking ourselves how we want to look - which is fine! But especially for trips that are higher stakes like a work trip, I start by asking myself how I want to feel. If this is too vague for you, go through every activity in your itinerary and visualize yourself in that moment. Where are you, what are you doing, who are you with? How are you feeling? WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? This visualization exercise usually sparks a jumping off point for me. By imagining myself in these scenarios, I get to manifest the positive outcomes of the moment and will choose items that give me that feeling.

STEP 2 - Pull Items From Your Closet

Maybe this is a bit woo-woo, but give yourself a minute to visualize how you want to look and feel on your trip, and start pulling items that you could see yourself wearing based on that feeling. Don’t worry about things matching or whether they’ll fit in your suitcase yet. For example, for this trip I knew I wanted to feel confident, creative, and at ease. Using elements of style to translate these feelings to my closet, I pulled some go-to’s: tailored silhouettes with sharp, clean lines, and relaxed fits that created ease. I pulled my denim, button up shirts, and supplemented with some contrasting items like romantic blouses and bright sneakers.

STEP 3 - Guaranteed Variety in Your Travel Capsule

Sometimes when we pull our go-to’s, we feel like we’re wearing the same thing all the time. To avoid this, create variety through elements of style. Pulled 3 button up shirts with the same boyfriend silhouette? Make sure there is variance in colour and texture. Dark, light, rough, soft. Remember, you don’t need to pack everything or make decisions until you’ve tried everything on and tested outfits.

STEP 4 - Try it ALLLLL On

To pack well, we have to test our ideas and get dressed. I know that sounds wildly obvious, but it provides a framework to get started, which is usually where we struggle, yes? It spurs us into action instead of staring at our closets or the items we’ve pulled and getting overwhelmed.

This last step has two options.

The first option is for trips where you know you won’t have the bandwidth to play with your clothes (usually work trips). Go through each activity on the itinerary that would require its own outfit, and create a specific outfit for it.

Once you’ve landed on a winning outfit, take a picture and put those pieces on a separate rack or a separate part of your closet, or simply lay them on your bed.

Repeat this process until you’ve come up with outfits for each of your travel occasions. As you create more outfits, try to re-use items that have already been set aside from winning combos, and note which items are only being used for one occasion. If you’ve got an outfit with an item or two that aren’t being used anywhere else, or that don’t play well with the rest, swap those pieces out for items that have already been set aside from winning combos. This is when we edit some items out to create a more visually cohesive capsule. Of course, there might be an item or two that will only serve one purpose, and that’s OK!

Normally I don’t pack with specific outfits in mind. It can feel restrictive. I like to know i’ll be able to mix and match and switch things up if needed. But this process allows us to approach important situations with calm and confidence, while also giving us the freedom to change combinations up if needed. That’s why the editing part is important!

The second option is to take the items you pulled in step 2, and categorize them into different tops, bottoms, layers. Depending on the amount of time you’re spending away and if you have access to laundry, make sure I have at least 2 or 3 options for each category. 3 different options allows us to have variety, but not just any variety! We’ve got to be strategic. Here’s an example. If one of your categories is tank tops, make sure they each have different elements of style, to maximize the variety.

Instead of choosing tank tops that all have similar properties like this (darker palette, square/low neckline, thick strap and close to the body fit):

Choose tank tops that offer either a different shape, texture, or colour, like this (different shapes, textures and colours):

These are the elements that will yield maximum visual impact with the least amount of effort. IF you have too many items, eliminate the one with the element that is the most different out of all three. For shorter trips, 2 different options for each category is plenty.

CAVEAT: Sometimes we have a specific element of style that we love. For example, if you love high neck fitted tank tops, that’s great! You can stay consistent with the element of shape and add variety through other elements of style like colour or texture!

Extra Travel Capsule Wardrobe Tips:

• Allow yourself one ‘just in case’ item. This could also be an item that doesn’t mix and match with anything else. If your suitcase isn’t closing, you already know that this is the item to edit out.

• Give yourself time to pack. Try to do it a few days in advance so you’re not stress packing. This usually leads to last minute purchases and you not feeling our best!

• Do you run hot or cold? If you run hot, your ratio of base layers to top layers should be greater - about 3:1. This will allow you to swap out your base layers, spot clean them and rewear. If you run cold, your ratio of base layers to top layers should be more balanced, about 2:1. Give yourself more top layer options so you don’t get bored of wearing the same cardigan or denim jacket, but save on space with fewer base layers. Choose top layers that can be worn on their own too! (ie; a cardigan as a sweater!)

• IF you want a colourful capsule - choose where you want it: tops or bottoms. You can have a rainbow of tops if your bottoms are neutral and vice versa. But if you’ve got colour in both tops and bottoms, it’s a lot harder to mix and match.

• Remember that neutrals don’t have to be black or white! Grey, khaki and ecru are EXCELLENT neutralizers for colour and print!

My Must Have Travel Edit List!

I never leave home without these things, no matter the climate or destination.

Davines Love Shampoo / Daviness Love Conditioner / Davines Milk / Sleepmask (I still have mine but this one from Lilysilk is so cute!) / Weleda Skinfood / Merit blush balm (I use this on my eyes, bridge of nose, lips, AND cheeks - it’s the button up shirt of makeup for me!) / Nuda water bottle (I recently lost mine to an Italian police officer lol so have my eye on this one)

vintage silk scarf / sunnies (love these) / bold earrings / button up shirt (you know I love Power of My People - use Alyssa10 for a discount - I make a commission if you do this!) / swimsuit (Organic Basics just came out with this one and it’s so fun!) / cloth tote (we get so many of these for free with purchases these days, no need to be fancy - use what you have!) / laundry strips

I hope this helps reduce some of the anxiety we all get when packing for a trip! These tips should allow you to focus on having FUN and being present in the moment while still feeling like yourself!

Have a great month of June!

Alyssa

xx

Despite me being worried about giving my number to a complete stranger, nothing happened except for the fact that when I got home and tried the dress on, I realized it didn’t suit me. I tried restyling it in so many ways, but it felt forced. After a dozen try-ons and my room looking like a clothing tornado had hit, I resigned myself to the fact that this was an impulse purchase that didn’t work out.

What is it about landing in a new place that triggers the fantasy self?

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It’s 7:30AM when a beautiful vista stops me mid-run. I’m in Puglia, running along the Adriatic - not for the first time - but for some reason, this particular perspective makes me stop and take a photo. What struck me was how the blue-green blend of sea and sky was punctuated by the intricate details of a black wrought-iron railing. A push and pull moment between the beauty of something human-made vs. Mother Nature’s own art.

When I got home, I wanted to maintain the sense of serenity that particular vista gave me, and asked myself how I could bring that into my day.

Through my outfit, obviously.

When we’re feeling uninspired by our closet and personal style, it’s rarely because we don’t have enough clothes. It’s usually because we’ve run out of ideas, or need a fresh perspective on our existing closet. When we’re lacking inspiration, our first place to turn is usually our favourite creators, stores, magazines, and other people’s closets.

So I challenged myself to use that vista as inspiration for my outfit that day, and came up with this.

Can you see the elements I pulled from that morning moment?

• COLOUR & SILHOUETTE: low contrast harmony between the ecru and colours of the sea and sky turned into pale blue jeans with an easy, soft silhouette, and an ecru cardigan that was half tucked. I purposely didn’t belt it because I didn’t want to break those up.

• CONTRAST: If I had a thin black belt, or a darker belt, I would have added it to create that tension that happened with the wrought iron railing, but instead I used a lacy black bra and a necklace with a black pearl. Some dressing decisions are just for us to know, yes?

• VIBES: I was really feeling the organic and soft vibes, so I added my pearl pendant from Monica Vinader

This kind of styling from such an ambiguous outfit prompt feels a bit advanced, but it’s a great way to learn about elements of style and how to use them to come up with new outfits using clothes we already have. With fashion’s current obsession with finding our personal style, this exercise recenters ourselves and all the things that catch our eye or move our spirit. And isn’t that what discovering true personal taste is about?

So this month, I challenge us to find inspiration outside of fashion and translate it to our closets! If you want a low stakes environment and fun group to do this with, join my subscription community! We’re always shopping our closets. In the meantime, I’ve put together a few examples from some of the favourite moments of places I’ve visited. I hope it gives you some creative ideas!

Radicchio at a Milan market

Pants | Top | Shoes | Bag | Earrings

Lisbon

Sunnies | Sandals | Dress | Purse | Scarf

Rome

Purse | Cuff | Bustier | Pants | Earrings

Montreal

Coat | Dress | Boots | Bag | Earrings

Thank you so much for reading and being here! Have a great month of May xx
Alyssa
xx