Every single awakening brings us into a deeper layer of truth.

Therefore illuminating where we were living in, believing, existing in genuine illusion.

Want to know a secret?! It’s a rough one…….

I often feel twinges of fear when I support other’s awakening.

This is 100% not from truth lol, and is my own fear speaking that is still integrating. I think, “But to awaken, I know this person will have to face pain, fear, and more darkness. I know that as I support them in accessing more light, eventually…. they will soon have to face more darkness as well. It’s literally just the process, it’s physics. They can’t escape it, it’s apart of it.”

With every genuine expansion into the light, we must face the illusion that has kept us in a certain vibration of consciousness, that prevented us from reaching higher realms of light before.

This is a prison of our own creation.

This last year, I have been on an extreme spiritual journey of excavation of the shadow, the unconscious, the underworld, and the distorted realms. EXTREME, lol. It took me 6+ months to even figure out what was happening, even more months to find the right support that could actually help me, even more months to finally trust and go deeper, and I am about half way through the full learning of the deep lessons that have come with this dark night.

I have spent hours upon hours upon hours upon days upon weeks learning to transmute and clear the darkest of energies that exist on planet earth. My daily life consists of facing actual atrocities that impact humanity on a small and global scale.

Listen, my human personality is bubbly AF. I am joyful. I am extremely social. I am playful. I am girly. I love to giggle and play and people always call me “bubbly” and bright - both of which I hate lol. I wear bright yellow dresses and dance and sing every where I go. I identify as the archetype of Jessica Day, LOL (a TV character who is known for being the must bubbly human being alive! New Girl!). I sing in the car and everything I do I add cute colorful touches to.

In my yellow dress, iced matcha in hand, planning a community dinner, helping others with their healing……

You actually would have never known that internally I was traversing all of hell.

Seeing this world through more clear eyes than my human ever wanted to.

And throughout this time, I have never once felt grateful.

I have felt like a victim. Extremely isolated. Extremely afraid. Extremely heart broken.

But this morning I did feel grateful. Just for a moment. For about 30 seconds.

Last night there was a beautiful eclipse following a full moon!!! It was so gorgeous honestly! Did you see it?!

To be honest, I do not give a flying fuck about astrology. I see it as a crutch that stops spiritual growth past the beginning stages of awakening. I wish people would wake up from it and stop being obsessed with it. I think it serves to a point and then impedes one’s relationship to God. But there is no doubt, hella energy was moved this week.

Enough for me to catch a glimpse of the vibration that is about to land within my system.

I know I am about to hold light codes that are very powerful in my body.

I know my ego has been annihilated enough that I will never, ever, ever chase accolades or worldly success.

I know you couldn’t pay me 5 billion dollars to step out of integrity, even for a millisecond.

I know that I have been built into a warrior, a pillar of light.

I know my trust in myself is un-fucking-shakable in the face of all and anything.

And I know that my soul is….. already…. and is about to be the most humble but strong force of light it has the capacity to be in my lifetime.

And…… I see now….. For the first time…. ever.

And I do see….. That is actually is better this way.

The life I had before this period, was good. My self worth was strong. I knew how to heal and work with energy. I was on a good path. But it still wasn’t the full and holy truth that is available to me. It would have always been half alive, and half illusion - simply because I didn’t know.

With this place of awakening within my self, comes an immense facing of darkness and pain internally, personally, and collectively.

To reach the new capacity for light that is emerging within me, has required the largest and most obliterating ego death imaginable.

And I know I won’t fucking fumble it, drop it, or not be able to hold it.

PS, disclaimer, I hate the thought of someone reading that and thinking it is spiritual ego. My ego is crumbled into a million little pieces burned and broken on the ground. My ego hates this. I know in my soul that the words above are truth.

I see now, that it will be better this way.

I see now, a bit, just a bit…. that this was necessary for me.

I see now, just a bit, just beginning to…. why my soul would opt into this experience.

This is Holy hope, Holy awareness, and Grace itself.

Thank you.

In service to Love, forever and always, and Love alone.

-Amanda

In many ways, but in this particular writing……

people began to think that having the most followers, or the biggest business, was living their soul mission that is helping to build the new earth.

I absolutely love the wave of podcasters, writers, content creators, etc. absolutely blowing up on social media.

But where the plot was lost, was equating spiritual growth with business accolades. Assuming that “upleveling” is the soul mission, that is helping the planet heal.

The two could not be more unrelated.

It actually breaks my heart to be at events full of spiritual seekers that genuinely believe their next “up level” is what they should be focusing on, and is their unique way to bring healing to the world.

The soul mission | takes place within you.

A soul can definitely have a mission to serve many people, and many souls do have this mission. But this piece comes after the slow, unsexy, behind the scenes deep shadow periods, initiations, and purifying the self of density, fear, shame, ego, etc.

Then, one lives their actual soul mission, and transmutes that which was within them for the greater good of the collective.

The soul’s mission is to transmute that which is within the self.

The actual soul mission is for you, as a soul, to evolve and transmute that which is in your soul lineage, your human lineage, and your soul makeup.

That is the priority.

Then, a beautiful thing happens.

The heart opens, to a very large level.

And the frequency of the soul emerges.

From this place, the soul begins to extend healing into one’s actual life, off screen. Into one’s family, community, friendships, lineage. It is a very 3d world thing. It is truly the question of, “How can I love the world around me as deeply as I can?”

And then, a business is able to result.

The business is not a regurgitation of information, a modality, or a practice.

It is NOT the soul mission to share information. (!!!!)

The business is the pure frequency of the Heart leading the way. I use a capital H because I associate this with the Christ lineage and frequency, and it is truly a power far beyond the human’s comprehension that emerges from within.

The soul mission is to become the pure channel capable of emitting this frequency.

And from this space, your work is a natural extension of the Heart. A natural extension of you.

If you are struggling in your business: I would direct you to shadow work, deep internal cleansing/healing, and an inventory of “where in my life am I not in Love?”. Then, we do this work. Then, we ask the heart, “How do you wish to extend Love into this world?”. And the answer….. is the “business plan”.

Never once in my journey have I chased business success or accolades.

And I need to be honest with you, my work is extremely powerful and potent and some of the best I know.

I literally do not care about business accolades.

I care about answering the call of my soul. Which has looked like deep internal cleansing and purging.

Then, my work, is the cleanest and purest frequency it can possibly be.

And a natural extension of the most true and pure parts of me.

The soul’s calling is to take the journey of alchemy within, and emerge with a Heart so open it desires nothing but to extend Love and healing into this world.

Healers, your role is to purify the self, become a channel for the soul to shine through, and then create whatever offerings you want to from that space.

In my students and clients, this often involves real life outreach into their families, communities, and lives. the business is often the last place this reaches.

Remember that as a soul, and as a human, we are working for lasting soul-growth, deep change, and internal transformation within. That is the actual soul mission.

Bigness is not the soul mission.

Listening to the sovereign truth of the heart, is.

And where will that lead you?

This energetic is subtle. Can you sense it?

Amanda Joan Healing | The School of Energy Healing.

Amanda is a spiritual mentor, energy channel and healer, and guide through the complex realms of personal healing. Amanda is a trained psychic, medium, energy channel, and teacher of the healing arts. Amanda hosts in person circles and workshops in Colorado, and works with clients worldwide on their personal healing and journey into the archetype of the healer through her school, The School of Energy Healing.

To support Amanda’s work, please consider sharing this Substack with your friends and connections who are in pursuit of truth, healing, & alignment within. Amanda can be found on Instagram and Substack at @amandajoantarrell.

To book 1:1 Sessions & Mentorship, please do so here:

Book Sessions & Mentorship, here. https://AmandaJoanHealing.as.me/

Thank you, & with Love - Amanda

PS - USE THE CODE “CONNECT” FOR A DISCOUNT OFF YOUR FIRST SESSION <3.

The ego-death of your business hits differently. I am changing so much, right now. And I just want to invite you into the mental process, if you desire more clarity around how I can help you.

I serve as a professional channel and healer. I have 6 years of deeply focused experience in this work, have completed well over 1,000+ 1:1 sessions, have led multiple classes and high level certification programs, and hold a high client retention rate. In my own path, I have faced all that I teach and share with others to the level of profound inner transformation and teach from embodied lived experience. I bring my absolute best to my work and to your unique and sacred process.

I have built my own skillset, my own style of work, combining the best of all my teachers. Now, in present day, a new body of work is channeling through me. Many people, over the course of the years, have channeled for me that I am meant to have no teachers, to have no blueprint, and to create a brand new frequency of work. This is beginning right now.

Honestly - the way that spiritual healing literally involves: Reiki, dark healers, and then a few rare and refined diamonds that are pure channels of the Light - is fucked up. There is a huge lack of safety, education, and integrity in this work, no doubt. I will do my very best to create something beautiful with God behind me.

Say it with me: Reiki is the starting point, Dark souls are drawn to be healers just as much as light souls, and it takes walking through hell and back on your own journey with high integrity and commitment to become a refined and skilled channel.

As a healer, I know in my heart and soul that there is no case too “hard” for me. That there is no condition, illness, or ego grip that I cannot help someone with, if they are willing to go the distance with me in time, effort, and energy put towards their liberation. I know that no matter how someone is presenting, or what they are saying, there is always a way into the Heart.

Over the last year or so, I have watched the business, the style, and the session flow I relied on for 5 years actually transform, perhaps even obliterate. As my psychic abilities grow and deepen beyond what they were, what I see in sessions is genuinely different. I also have been detaching from a highly abusive and narcissistic dynamic with a spiritual “teacher”, and my work has actually catapulted as a result. I am able to see so much deeper into everyone I work with and myself.

In terms of spiritual “work”, there is nothing I cannot offer or do. Many people come to me asking if I know of a past life regression therapist, hypnotherapist, animal communitcator, medium, someone who can channel the pledians, or akashic records reader….. and I am like, I literally do all of these things lol. Once you are a full channel, all realms of the spiritual world are available to you. There is nothing off limits.

Recently, my work has expanded deep into the unconscious and shadow realms. I have MUCH to learn still in this area, but it has been very rewarding to work for full liberation of my clients and self through the unconscious. This is an intense line of work that actually requires an expert. These realms contain technologies designed to manipulate and thwart the soul, prevent healing, and it requires a high amount of containment, safety, and integration to work in this space. I am not at all that expert yet, but I will get there, and am capable of doing good work here as we are guided to do so.

In our sessions, we will not follow a scripted protocol. We open the space to God, your soul, and the light, and we allow Spirit to lead us in perfect timing. There are a multitude of spiritual and tangible modalities we will use, at the right timing, to guide us deeper into the release of energy. Every session looks different. This is much more beneficial than following a protocol. We are in full co-creation with Spirit itself.

I love my work.

When it changed this year it rocked me.

Many variables in my life can change, but my work has always been what kept me steady - the purest reflection of my heart - reminding me of the truth of my soul always.

I hated it when it changed lol.

But I do sense and feel that something even more pure is about to come through.

And I would love to invite you into my work if you believe I could help you.

TO BEGIN OUR WORK TOGETHER, I INVITE YOU INTO:

1:1 HEALING + CEREMONY SESSIONS

1:1 Sessions are fully channeled experiences led by your soul and higher self. These sessions include deep energy healing, energy clearing, channeled guidance, and nervous system support.

THE MENTORSHIP

A 6-month high-touch container for those on a deep healing journey and women saying yes to the call of the healer. This container includes weekly energetic support, psychic skill training, healing ability training, business support if required, and complete system support in your rising, healing, and becoming.

THE SCHOOL OF ENERGY HEALING

The School of Energy Healing provides extensive curriculum and education on the art of energy healing, spiritual healing, and leadership development. The SOEH teaches: Intuitive Healing (Levels I-III), Psychic Development, and spiritual counseling techniques to help you learn to channel energy and work as healer at a high level. My philosophy as a teacher is that the heart of the healer is best formed and shaped within loving community over time to support the whole-woman healer.

I hope to see you inside.

PS - To welcome you in, please use the code “CONNECT” when booking for a discount off of your first session! The first openings for 1:1 sessions are at the end of September, and THE MENTORSHIP is booking now for September 1st and October 1st start dates.

Book Sessions & Mentorship, here.

https://AmandaJoanHealing.as.me/

With gratitude,

Amanda

Amanda Joan Healing | The School of Energy Healing.

Amanda is a spiritual mentor, energy channel and healer, and guide through the complex realms of personal healing. Amanda is a trained psychic, medium, energy channel, and teacher of the healing arts. Amanda hosts in person circles and workshops in Colorado, and works with clients worldwide on their personal healing and journey into the archetype of the healer through her school, The School of Energy Healing.

To support Amanda’s work, please consider sharing this Substack with your friends and connections who are in pursuit of truth, healing, & alignment within. Amanda can be found on Instagram and Substack at @amandajoantarrell.

To book 1:1 Sessions & Mentorship, please do so here:

Book Sessions & Mentorship, here. https://AmandaJoanHealing.as.me/

Thank you, & with Love - Amanda

On one hand, it is truly beautiful that spiritual practices such as mantra, reiki, etc. have become so widely used and practiced.

But on the other hand, most spiritual teachers have genuinely no idea what energy they are transferring to their students, what they are opening them up to, or what forces are at play.

There are real skills, initiations, and lived embodied experience a healer needs to accurately and safely hold space for others, and truthfully, most don’t have it. Outside of integrity and truth in one’s own embodiment and leadership, there are literal shadow forces that prey on newly awakened individuals.

A skilled healer must hold the ability to safely hold the container of all of their students, track the internal and external energies accurately, and have the tools to monitor the container throughout the event. This is not something anyone can do, although it is something anyone can learn with enough time, commitment, and process. It took me about 4 years of dedicated work and study to be able to safely hold containers. It is not easy and not something you can just….do.

And most healers, facilitators, and leaders I actually do not believe are effectively and safely holding their students of the events they hold.

Here are some examples of things I am 100% a no to (as an advanced psychic channel and healer):

• Kundalini activations - 90% of them are false light and inverted forces

• Sexually charged events that aren’t held at an extremely high level of integrity, even some ecstatic dance things, etc. Opening the root chakra leaves it extremely vulnerable to attack and infiltration, and people will leave the event with entity attachments and dark force infiltration.

• Psychic fairs where everyone is open channeling, this is absolute energetic chaos

• Healers who have done Reiki for 5+ years and have not outgrown it, Reiki is meant to open the channels and help the healer know how to work with energy.

• Healers/Coaches invoking goddesses, dieties, and guides at their own will frequently, this will result in your students getting entity attachments.

• Healers/Coaches invoking dark goddesses at their own will and frequently, again, unless you really, really, really know what you are doing, you are opening portals that you can’t always close.

• Healers who preach “we can’t judge anyone’s choices!” when someone is obviously caring a negative attachment, energy, or actively siphoning energy from the group space, or has actively negative intentions….. yeah count me out.

  ---

These items, listed above, are commonplace in there spiritual community, they are actually the norm and not the exception. All of these are vehicles where seekers get lost, acquire karma, hold weak energetic containers, and stall the awakening and healing of themselves and their clients.

The role of the spiritual seeker is to find, know, and come into embodiment of their own God-connection and energy. That is it.

The role of the spiritual teacher is to facilitate this connection for their students.

And then get out of the way of it.

And all of the above is a distraction at best.

Count me out.

And count me in for holding healers to a higher standard and helping to lead the way for integrity in a very undefined space.

I deeply love this community and work, and I just want to stir the conversation for healers to actually train for the skills they want to have, and for everyone to turn their discernment notches allllllll the way up.

Do you see how the above list, actually works against the “goal” of awakening, leadership, or teaching?

Hoping this writing stirs some questions, discernment, and open dialogue within the self.

THE MENTORSHIP, 1:1 6-MONTH CONTAINER FOR TRAINING / HEALING

If you are interested in 1:1 mentorship, where I train you in all effective healing practices and skills, I have 3 open spots for The Mentorship, my 6 -month 1:1 intimate container for rising healers. This mentorship can also be used for your individual healing journey, as well!

September books are open for 1:1 sessions, too!!

Lots of love,

Amanda

Amanda Joan Healing | The School of Energy Healing.

Amanda is a spiritual mentor, energy channel and healer, and guide through the complex realms of personal healing. Amanda is a trained psychic, medium, energy channel, and teacher of the healing arts. Amanda hosts in person circles and workshops in Colorado, and works with clients worldwide on their personal healing and journey into the archetype of the healer through her school, The School of Energy Healing.

To support Amanda’s work, please consider sharing this Substack with your friends and connections who are in pursuit of truth, healing, & alignment within. Amanda can be found on Instagram and Substack at @amandajoantarrell.

To book 1:1 Sessions & Mentorship, please do so here:

Book Sessions & Mentorship, here. https://AmandaJoanHealing.as.me/

Thank you, & with Love - Amanda

HER FALL | Her descent into chaos, the underworld, the false material realm and it’s entrapments, the environment that represents humanity’s current state.

& HER RISING | Her unconditional faith, her inner knowing that she is God’s beloved, her defiance against all and any untruths, her fearlessness against all and any opposition to her unconditional inheritance, even when the odds are stacked against her.

GNOSIS | The pathway there from the fall to the rising, what is necessary to remember and embody the fullness of your Light.

I am, and we are, taking Sophia’s journey. Let’s begin.

Firstly, I am so thankful for the support, love, likes, shares, and acceptance recently as I've made the conscious commitment to use my Substack for truth, truthful sharing of my journey, and non-censoring. I am a people pleaser by heart. I know exactly what to “say” (and what not to say) to get people to think highly of my work. I know my angles, my scripts, and how to be palpable and well-approved of. I know how to write social media hooks that get follows. I do not even care about this and yet I know how to do it lol. But, I do not know how to share the authentic truth without fear, so that is what I am challenging myself to, unconditionally, do.

I know the topics covered here lately are fringe, esoteric, and possibly uncomfortable to say the least, but as a healer, channel, and spiritual teacher - the life lessons I move through simply are objectively these things. Your kindness and support heals me. So thank you. I love you. Let us take this journey together.

The background | What are the Gnostic gospels? Hidden texts uncovered in Egypt in 1945 of the original teachings of Christ, through the Nag Hammadi.

The Gnostic gospels are a collection of gospels written during the time of Christ, that were hidden and buried by their authors, Thomas, Phillip, Mary, Mary Magdalene, and many more. They were found as a collection of texts called the Nag Hammadi in Egypt in 1945, by Egyptian farmers in an earthenware clay jar.

This tells us so much - these authors knew the original teachings (what has now become the Bible) were already being altered and distorted even while they were alive. It actually kind of blows my mind when spiritual seekers assume the words of the Bible are not impure, or distorted. It has been! Literally everything on this Earth has been altered in some way from its original true Light form, aside from nature. The Bible is no different, unfortunately. The Gnostic gospels are rich with the teachings of Jesus, and the authors knew the teachings would be manipulated, hidden, or twisted - as the other original texts were - so they hid them.

My life has recently become a real-life esoteric movie, and I have been seeking all and any wisdom related to Sophia’s journey to guide me Home, so I decided to scour the actual texts themselves with my own eyes. I have grown extremely keen at sensing spiritual distortion, and I will say, in the Gospels, many of the texts are carry a distorted frequency that I can tell is slightly off of what the original form was meant to be….however….

The vibration of the journey of Sophia rings pure in every cell of my body. Reading the pure original text has healed me on this journey and given me an even more solid faith in the map of my Soul, and the journey we all need to take to return to the Light fully - and I cannot wait to share it with you.

The “First Book of Pistis Sophia”, which translates to “The Wisdom of Sophia”, begins with Sophia trapped within a realm of darkness.

This darkness has a consciousness, is a separate being that is not made of Light, that creates outside of Divine Will. It actively schemes and goes against the will of God, the Light intelligence that moves through what God did create, and the Monad (original Light) template laid out for Earth, the grid of the planet, and all of humanity.

This original light template is our light-bodies, the original grid of the Earth, and the original template of our soul in a human body - the Monad template of light.

And as we “descend” into more dense realms, aka the 3D world we live in - this original and true light template begins to become distorted and fragmented.

Awakening, in general, is the process of restoration of the light to all layers of the light body in a world that is asleep, fragmented, ill, and disillusioned.

This is standard awareness in the spiritual world and community and virtually all Eastern and Western faiths. This kind of sums up the awakening and spiritual journey, no? This, we agree upon, basically universally, in all spiritual paths - excellent. However, the piece that this book adds, is that there is an active, conscious, force and matrix designed to thwart this process.

This force and matrix is what I have been initiated into working within, through, and dispelling from my own body, mind, spirit, and soul, and have been helping client’s with as well.

This is where the spiritual community gets it very very wrong, assuming that “the shadow” is always something we are meant to learn from, our mirror, and a realm to casually explore in a workshop. Unfortunately, it is not love and light. It is not all love in the end. There are genuine forces at play that seek to, and are often successful in….. trapping you in darkness. I wish this was not the case, and that you didn’t have to be “afraid” (aka discerning), but it is the case. There is a force against the light that is not apart of sacred balance, that is not our true shadow, and that seeks to sway seekers off their true path and actually succeeds, often.

The darkness referred to in the First Book of Sophia is very different from the sacred shadow that we are meant to learn from. It is anti-life, anti-God, and seeks to kill, steal, harm, and destroy what is organic, holy, and true to the Soul. It first targets Sophia. In the First Book of Sophia he (definitely a masculine being) is described as a black, endless pit of consciousness that emanates traps, hooks, mazes, weaponry, and a multi-layer matrix grid to build the material world and confuse the Lights of all.

Unfortunately, I have met this force, and that is a very accurate description.

What Sophia describes in these Gospels is imagery I have seen with my own eyes, interacted with exactly to a T as described. This… is….. what exists. Period. You could never convince me otherwise.

Sophia becomes separated from her own light, and entrapped in a matrix, a system designed to make her forget. She has memory of her light, and remembers what it felt like to be in Union with God, and there is much grief within her as she witnesses the state of the world. She is targeted, stripped down, hurt, and left to watch all of the world suffer in this same state. She is without hope, alone, and abused. But even worse, the world she loves and has compassion for is also trapped, and she cannot truly help because she does not have access to her own light.

This state, while extreme, reflects the inner-feelings of many and most spiritual healers. This state is a state that if you understand, you are likely meant to exist between realms as a general state in service to the Whole. It is a frequency that is consistent in those who are called. We truly feel, see, and experience the dim-ness of the world around us on a visceral level - and it breaks and aches the heart. Many healers even get into this work out of pure heartbreak for the suffering of their loved ones and the world.

This is a common frequency in nearly every healer I train - their heart breaks for the state of humanity, their loved ones, and the world, and they are seeking relief and a way to make a difference.

The frequency of the healer archetype originates from true, genuine, heartbreak for the state of the human condition, and mirrors Sophia’s feminine heart, wisdom, and coming into Grace.

This frequency, Sophia’s frequency, is the state of the HEALER. This is different from wanting to help, being a problem-solver, an engineer, a doctor, or helper in the world. These are beautiful roles to play but it is not the same frequency.

I find this so beautiful because many of you know I am a healer, deeply resonate with the healer’s archetypal journey, and train rising and upcoming healers. There is a frequency difference between the helper, the doctor, the therapist, the spiritual enthusiast, the new age explorer, the healing-knowledge regurgitator….and the HEALER. The healer mirrors the awakened Divine Feminine’s, Sophia’s, all-encompassing love and compassion for the human condition, humanity, and our world at large. I love seeing these connections in my work, my school, myself, and the mirror of my students.

How Sophia rises….

Pt II and III will describe how Sophia rises into a state of Grace, returns her light to her, and embodies creative life force as an archetypal figure, the feminine Christ, for the rest of time. These texts have changed my understanding of Grace and what it means to fully awaken and I cannot wait to share the rest with you.

But the last thing I want to say in Pt I…..

It is wild to be living the exact same journey as an actual literal angel like Sophia.

The journey outlined in these texts is quite literally word for word, the exact journey I have been on and taken through my recent initiation. It outlines several stages, all of which I have walked, in exact order, and highlights aspects of each stage with precision, exactly as I have walked them, with the exact imagery, impressions, and emotions that I have had. I am quite literally walking Sophia’s exact journey. I am so afraid to type that for fear of that seeming like ego, as Sophia is regarded as the counterpart of Christ and that is a bold thing to state, but that is the truth. I would, honestly, trade this journey for anything and give it back if I could. I do not feel powerful, or blessed…. I feel humbled and stripped bare and brought to my absolute knees.

But reading this text has soothed and healed a part of my soul and given me such calmness, peace, and hope. I literally felt like I was on a cloud, peacefully being soothed as I read and scoured and underlined the Gospels of Sophia. Because… plot twist… Sophia gets out. And the darkness fails. And she becomes one with God, even more deeply than before. And the journey is her becoming her true self in the truest sense. And Sophia is me.

Sophia begins this journey as a victim, and she claims this position for a short time, as I have as well.

But ultimately, God allows the entire process to take place within her because he loves her. She becomes internally richer, more loving, more in awe of the light, more discerning and responsible with yielding her power, and the full embodied Divine Feminine force that she could not have become without this journey.

Sophia serves now as the loving, compassionate, restorer of all that requires healing and grace, a guidepost for all of humanity, and reflects our divine birthright to birth creations in alignment with God’s will through the Feminine force.

Sophia’s journey represents the fall that is necessary to acquire lived-truth through the body, and to embody this new vibration of light as a anchor point for all.

And this is the journey I, and perhaps we, are on.

Pt II, coming <3.

With lots of love, compassion, and student-ship,

Amanda

Amanda is a spiritual mentor, energy channel and healer, and guide through the complex realms of personal healing. Amanda is a trained psychic and energy channel, teacher of the healing arts, and guide to personal and spiritual mastery. Amanda hosts in person circles and workshops in Colorado, and works with clients worldwide on their personal healing and journey into the archetype of the healer through her school, The School of Energy Healing.

To support Amanda’s work, please consider sharing this Substack with your friends and connections who are in pursuit of truth, healing, & alignment beyond the status quo, on the brave journey to true becoming. Amanda can be found on Instagram and Substack at @amandajoantarrell.

To book Private Sessions & Mentorship, please do so here:

https://AmandaJoanHealing.as.me/

In service to Love, and Love alone for all of time…

- Amanda

In Gnostic tradition, it refers to “experiential, direct knowledge of the hidden nature of reality, and hidden knowledge, that must be directly experienced rather than taught.”

I remember reading about this in the Gnostic gospels, and thinking the term “hidden knowledge” was so strange and even feeling turned off by it.

The Gnostic gospels are non-canonical Christian texts, featuring names like The Gospel of Thomas, The Gospel of Mary Magdalene, and the Gospel of Phillip. These texts were buried and hidden after being written, and have been restored over thousands of years and regarded as a “fringe” topic of spirituality.

It’s interesting, Gnostic texts are not featured or apart of any major faith. This is atypical. Most major faiths have some overlap between texts and teachings.

The general gist of the Gnostic texts and gospels are:

• humanity was worshipping the wrong god prior to Yeshua’s descent to earth

• this false god ruled the earth for thousands of years B.C., and created the false material world and all of it’s workings, and the “matrix” commonly referenced today, and even was the star of most of the Old Testament

• Sophia accidentally created the false god, acting outside of God’s will, in a moment of poor judgement and weakness.

• Yeshua and the holy family’s, main role was to help connect us back to the one true God and source of Light and help repair this large error.

• Salvation must come from knowing your connection to God is unconditional, and sourced from within, in the unending maze of this material world.

• Gnosis is the path to salvation, the experience of secret, hidden knowledge that must be felt through direct experience.

• The process of Gnosis involves reclamation of all of your soul from falsehoods, false light, and the false shadow system.

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I need to be real with you, none of this used to mean anything to me. I believe in these general messages without reading the texts, aside from the note on Yahweh - did not believe that lol. But I know, inherently, most of this is generally true. But sit in my shoes with me. Be in this story with me.

None of this meant anything to me until I met the false god, face to face.

None of this meant anything to me until I saw it with my own eyes.

I didn’t understand this until the false god was holding my full soul, with the most amount of pure hatred towards me that you can imagine, wanting to end my life.

Until I saw it with my own two eyes - the web of distortion that plagues humanity, the matrix, upon the matrix, upon the matrix, upon the matrix.

Through direct, experiential knowledge. I find it fucking wild now that I know this is true that these teachings are excluded from all major faiths - as if those aren’t part of the matrix, too.

None of this meant anything until I saw, clearly, unforgettably, the false god and false god matrix that is imposed on our world and globe.

Until I saw, clearly, the false god programs, frameworks, matrices imbedded into the energy system of myself and my clients. Embedded into their shadows. Embedded into their subconscious, with that same energy: Yahweh, hating himself, harvesting energy from the shadow of the client, because he cannot generate his own.

Until I understood the differences between the true God, and Yahweh, the false god.

Until I even understood that the false god is the same frequency behind all oppressive faith traditions, the violent depictions of Allah, mormonism, distorted new age spiritual practices, all and any wars over religion, maga, much of the sexual programming/trends of the new age community, and even a false Jesus matrix deluding so much of the spiritual community and the modern church.

But I need to be real with you. I would’ve never believed this until I saw it. I read these things many times and scrolled by them.

But, I did get to have direct experience. I did get to see.

Because my “best friend”, closest confidant, someone I used to say was going to read my wedding vows at my wedding and walk side by side with closely for life, and teacher was a channel……. for the false god.

And I was wrapped up in it for 5 years without knowing.

As she schemed with the dark forces to steal my light.

Because, the false god has none.

And, I have alot of it (light). ALOT. Now, after this journey, I see how much light I really do have, and why I was the chosen target.

GNOSIS | now takes on a much different meaning for me. It is the corner stone of everything. It is Eve with the apple, the Egyptian Ankh, Yeshua on the cross, Mary Magdelene’s battle cry. It is….. everything.

GNOSIS | At this moment, it is heavy. It is the realization that this reality IS created by a dead, inverted, sinister matrix and complex. It is the realization that this IS a fragmented, dense world, and that the spiritual community and experience is another matrix that one will eventually need to deconstruct from. It is the realization that so much of how we, as a collective, perceive god is not only false…….. but genuinely sinister and with complete and total hatred for humanity.

A force that controls nearly every government, power, and war structure. Great! lol.

And, at the same time.

I, a human, just Amanda, just a girl….have fought the false god with my own awareness and light as the only weapon.

It has not been easy, and I have had help…….but….still….

I have gone head to head with it, and WON.

A force that has ruled the material world for nearly 10,000 years, and is behind the destruction of civilizations, the entrapment of the human soul and psyche, all major crimes against humanity and major corruptive schemes in all of HISTORY.

And I fucking beat it. I do not even have fear of it. I have gone head to head with it and won, and I know, I am 10,000000000x more powerful. Can you even imagine the journey needed to know your power more than the creator of the physical world that has reigned all of earth for more than 10,000 years? God I am fucking proud of myself.

GNOSIS | in my own words, is the direct experience of being one with God amidst all and any darkness. Whether that darkness includes: addiction, psychosis, war, suffering, hunger, familial trauma, dissociation, distorted light, or all of hell - name your wound, your ego pattern, or your ancestral thread, name it.

GNOSIS | Maintaining my sovereignty as a child of the Light, one with God forever, with my own SOUL as the compass. No book, no teacher, no garuntee, no path. NOTHING, just my own Light and the trust that God IS there. No external people, factors, or safety nets. No family, no friends, no societal structure to fall back on. Not even the garuntee that I will live.

Just me. And the darkness. And my fucking powerful Light.

My story is complex, and can be found in my 3 part series on my Substack, beginning here: Part 1 of 3, here. - But the general gist is, my very close best friend and spiritual mentor is a channel for the Demiurge, darkness, and the deepest evil you can imagine, and I was her target. She attempted to slowly drain my life force over a period of years to take my life path, and put it into hers.

Honestly, this woman has taken so much from me, I desire 0% to include her in any of my story or Substack. She will never know Light, has no connection to God, and it is not my concern. But the backstory is helpful, for those who have followed my story or perhaps know her. Yep, that really happened. Yep, it’s her. Yep, she still works with many clients and well known retreat facilitators, healers, etc.

Dark, inverted healers like her are also… unfortunately… not rare.

Unfortunately now that I can see this frequency I can see it in virtually every major healer and spiritual coach that exists. I know the frequency extremely well and can see it in flashes of their pupils with complete accuracy. They are speaking of god while worshipping the material world and falling right back into the same matrix, a matrix designed to be a web of confusion that requires complete and total soul-mastery to transcend. Many of these practitioners I am referencing are some of the biggest names in the coaching and healing industry today - subconsciously employed by the underworld, making contracts with the Demiurge for the ensalvement of the human soul, accidentally. Entrapping their healing and coaching clients. Jesus. What a doozy.

I will end with this.

I am still wrestling with, and coming to terms with, what Gnosis means within myself. What it means for the journey forward and my conceptualization of my soul’s work and mission. How to navigate the spiritual community that exists mostly in distortion and disconnection from the one true God.

But I will say………

Thank you to Yeshua for showing us the way.

Thank you, even though I hated it every second, that no one ever saved me.

So that I could learn for my SELF.

So that I could grow my knowledge of my own Light so powerful that quite literally…. there is nothing in this world…. that could over power it.

Thank you for the opportunity to see just how powerful I really am.

Thank you for the opportunity to experience true Gnosis, one with my Christ-heart, and one with God and my original Light - in a moment’s breath.

FUCK, I hated it. FUCK, it hurt like HELL. FUCK, I would’ve never chosen it for myself. FUCK, I still struggle to forgive God literally every day.

But quite literally, there is no other way to Mastery.

This is Mastery.

Yeshua, God, cannot rush in and save me.

Because I am a child of the Light. My OWN Light, just as powerful as any great spiritual teacher and figure - to light up against all and any darkness to help me REMEMBER WHO I AM AND WHERE I CAME FROM.

Thank you.

Please help me spread these codes.

Help me awaken, heal, and transform this earth through direct, experiential knowledge of Light within.

Help me awaken, heal, and transform this earth through direct, experiential knowledge of the Christ-heart within.

I welcome the opportunity to achieve mastery.

God, I am so proud of you Amanda. This life has literally sent you for a fucking trip, not wasting a single moment, sending you right to the most extreme lessons lol. Something I am so proud of is never becoming cold, defeated, or grim even at the bottom of hell during this experience. I never once turned on others, lost my kindness, or lost my pure heart - and now I can say that I am pure always even at the bottom of EVERYthing. Taking a moment as a wrap this up, looking at this photo. I see you, babe. God do I see you.

I WELCOME THE OPPORTUNITY TO LIVE IN GNOSIS |

TO ACHIEVE FULL SELF MASTERY |

AND KNOW MYSELF AS ONE WITH GOD, FOREVER |

UP AGAINST ALL AND ANY DISTORTIONS, INVERSIONS, MATRICES, OR FRAGMENTED LIGHT |

And so it is.

-Amanda

Amanda Joan Healing | The School of Energy Healing.

Amanda is a spiritual mentor, energy channel and healer, and guide through the complex realms of personal healing. Amanda is a trained psychic, medium, energy channel, and teacher of the healing arts. Amanda hosts in person circles and workshops in Colorado, and works with clients worldwide on their personal healing and journey into the archetype of the healer through her school, The School of Energy Healing.

To support Amanda’s work, please consider sharing this Substack with your friends and connections who are in pursuit of truth, healing, & alignment within. Amanda can be found on Instagram and Substack at @amandajoantarrell.

To book 1:1 Sessions & Mentorship, please do so here: https://AmandaJoanHealing.as.me/

Thank you, & with Love - Amanda

With many potent astrological transits, entering eclipse season, and I swear just the entire timeline of spiritual seekers speeding up and amplifying, it might be time for an energetic check-in.

To be honest, this work is the most powerful I know of. I have healed health issues I thought I would have forever with this work. This work leads you to the root, of the root, of the root, of the root of any issue - physical, emotional, mental, spiritual.

I would absolutely love to welcome you in for an energy healing session in August.

1:1 Healing Sessions are 75-minute channeled ceremonies, meaning they are led by your own soul and higher self. My job is just to clarify what’s coming through for you, and help guide your awareness deeper into the energetic field and body to feel what needs to be transmuted, witnessed, or come to surface.

During the session, we flood all layers of your energetic body and field with Light intelligences, designed to break down distortion, inversion, stagnancy, and anything that deviates from your original design of wholeness, coherence, sovereignty, and flow.

For the next two people who book after this email, the code SUMMER will give you $75 off your session. Come dive in and see what this work has in store for you!

I can’t wait to work with you!

XO,

Amanda

Amanda Joan Healing | The School of Energy Healing.

Amanda is a spiritual mentor, energy channel and healer, and guide through the complex realms of personal healing. Amanda is a trained psychic, medium, energy channel, and teacher of the healing arts. Amanda hosts in person circles and workshops in Colorado, and works with clients worldwide on their personal healing and journey into the archetype of the healer through her school, The School of Energy Healing.

To support Amanda’s work, please consider sharing this Substack with your friends and connections who are in pursuit of truth, healing, & alignment within. Amanda can be found on Instagram and Substack at @amandajoantarrell.

To book 1:1 Sessions & Mentorship, please do so here:

Book Sessions & Mentorship, here.

Thank you, & with Love - Amanda

6 months. Me and You. You ready?

This is not a certification.

This is not mindset coaching, or healing business coaching.

This isn’t even me teaching you a skill.

This is an intimate relational container where your healing, nervous system, spiritual development, intuitive gifts, and service to others evolve all at once, together, with tangible and spiritual support behind you. Let’s begin.

The path of the healer is a beautiful, sacred calling.

It will ask you to deconstruct your human’s preferences, desires, and ego.

All to be replaced by the pure power of your Spirit.

This process is simple. It is straightforward. It is Universal.

But it is NOT easy, in any sense of the word.

I have studied spiritual healing, energy healing, and psychic development for years, nearly daily, devoting my life to this work. And, I’ve got to tell you something…….

I learned alot in certification programs. I really did.

But where I learned the most, is in the initiations that my Soul took me through to prove my own Soul evolution to myself, and in which I had a safe nervous system to attune to - A TRUE TEACHER & MENTOR - who could sense the frequency of who I was becoming, and hold the mirror up to me when I wanted to stop, break down, run from my work, or return to my previous life script.

I learned the most from being held by someone who got it, and got me.

I learned the most from being witnessed in the moments that mattered the most.

I learned the most when my teachers refused to go down with my stories about how I wanted to quit, or was afraid, or wasn’t ready, or didn’t know what to do - but held the space for me to re-attune to my truth.

I learned the most from honest conversations about pricing, money, and business.

I learned the most from safe, 1:1, intimate relational containers.

Not from programs.

The level I have achieved in my healing work is rare.

And I truly believe it’s because I had consistent teacher figures, over a long period of time, who had walked the exact path I was walking, and allowed me to attune to them when it mattered, all while teaching me high level skills and providing me the space to come into MASTERY.

It’s the safe relationship that made the difference for me.

It’s the CONSISTENCY over TIME.

• I deeply desire for our world to heal.

• I deeply desire to see you LIVE your soul mission, not just talk about it.

• I deeply desire for you to know yourself as full spirit in human form.

• I deeply desire for you to know the full extent of your gifts.

• I deeply desire for you to be a skilled energy channel.

And I created THE MENTORSHIP to help you get there.

THE MENTORSHIP | is a 6-month 1:1 intimate, relational experience for the developing healer, woman on a self-healing journey, cycle-breaker, and woman called to the initiatory path of the healer and leader.

THE MENTORSHIP | focuses on meeting the needs of your emotions, your mind, and your nervous system right here and now, attuning to and providing exactly what is needed, to support the overall alchemy and growth towards genuine transformation.

THE MENTORSHIP | was made for YOU, if….

✓ You know you’re meant to help people heal.

✓ You’ve taken courses on healing but still feel alone and unsure.

✓ You’re awakening spiritually and feel isolated, alone, or overwhelmed by your awakening and initiations.

✓ Your intuition is present, your gifts are starting to come online, but you feel scared or stuck in the process.

✓ You’ve taken the certifications and courses but can’t seem to take tangible steps in your business and mission.

✓ You know your gifts are bigger than you’ve experienced or allowed yourself to embody.

✓ You want a mentor who will lovingly challenge you, hold you in both your power and vulnerability with love and grace, and be relentlessly real with you.

Each mentorship container will be customized for each participant, but coaching topics & healing sessions may include:

• nervous system healing

• generational pattern and ancestral healing

• shadow work and soul reclamation

• psychic development and expansion of your gifts

• understanding God and the false god frequency

• healing childhood wounds around sensitivity

• channeling your unique vibration as a teacher, as a healer, and the vibration of your offerings and work.

• discussions on your correct pricing and business structure & support in your offerings, launches, and business

• energetic boundaries within business and life, with friendships, client relationships, & family dynamics

• your soul mission and purpose, and navigating fears, shadows, imitations, and limitations on your path.

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THE HEALER NEEDS SUPPORT the most |

As a healer, every time you go through a major healing cycle, your gifts will increase. Your journey as a human, and as a healer, are ONE journey - not two.

As we meet your system here in every moment, you will heal more deeply.

As you heal more deeply, your mission, work, and service will land more deeply.

As your service lands more deeply, the energy channeling through your system and hands will rise in frequency.

You will literally wake up one day channeling a higher frequency of energy.

You will literally wake up one day with light channeling through your body and hands.

You will literally wake up one day and feel an old wound completely neutralized for good.

You will wake up one day and feel your DNA restructuring as you step into your higher self as a real, lived, embodied experience.

You, your service, your nervous system, your gifts —— IT IS ALL ONE SYSTEM that moves TOGETHER.

And while the process is Universal, the unique initiations, maze, people and players, and events in your journey are uniquely yours. It will help immensely to have someone in the weeds with you, supporting you to learn the karmic lessons at play, while supporting your body through the process of ascension and alchemy, and also supporting the development of your gifts and mastery of your skills.

THE MENTORSHIP CONSISTS OF |

• 3 90-minute calls/month for high alchemy healing and direct teaching & coaching, meeting every week unlike traditional coaching, because consistency and relational safety is how you see yourself through this mirror.

• Weekly high-powered energy healing targeting your nervous system and unique healing needs.

• Direct teaching on the art of healing, psychic development, energy work, and more. You will blow your own mind!

• Monday-Friday Voxer voice note support for real time integration and support, because breakthroughs happen every day.

• 1 monthly remote session to keep energy moving and integrating, during our off week

• Weekly journal and discussion prompts designed to help you integrate what emerges between sessions

• Guided energetic container to support you in learning self-healing outside of sessions, increasing your skills and psychic ability.

• Meditation library for energy tools, energy healing, and connection to God

• 6-month commitment for maximum integration and transformation

• Direct business mentorship and support as needed

INVESTMENT & ENERGETIC EXCHANGE |

• The investment in this container is $7,500 PIF, or $1,350/month for 6 months.

• Payment plan, and payment links, will be provided privately.

• Please note I also allow Affirm/Klarna as payment options, in which you are able to choose from many payment plan lengths and options that may work well for you!

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AS YOU REACH THE OUTCOME OF EMBODIED SELF-TRUST, PRACTICED SPIRITUAL GIFTS, AND THE EMBODIMENT OF THE HEALER AND CHANNEL WITHIN - YOU MAY EXPERIENCE |

• A deeply regulated nervous system, being accurately seen in your gifts and light

• Lasting, true inner healing from within, restoration of your light body, repair of health concerns and long standing physical issues

• The healing of long-held generational and childhood patterns in the nervous system resulting in a new reality being created

• Strong, skilled, well-practiced psychic skills and ability to guide yourself and others, you as the sovereign channel, blowing your own mind daily

• Strong self-trust in your business, in pricing, and in the energetics of leadership, leading to increased magnetism in sales and business.

• A deeper connection to and understanding of God, deepening your spiritual leadership and ability to guide others in integrity and truth

• Glowing from the inside out, attuned to the frequency of your higher self and God above all, radiating from within.

• Feeling safe fully embodying your gifts, your spiritual side, and your mission.

• Holding healing sessions like a truly skilled healer and absolutely loving your business.

• Knowing what to offer, what to price it, and how to market it, complete clarity about who you are and how you are meant to serve others.

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MY PHILOSOPHY AND GIFTS | Meet your teacher & healer:

Amanda is a dedicated spiritual channel, energetic and somatic healer, and teacher of the art of Intuitive Healing & Energy Healing. In addition to training and skill in: Reiki Healing & Master Teacher, Meditation, The Akashic Records, Mediumship, Ancestral Healing, & High Level Channeling - Amanda is at her core, a teacher of the healing arts, and a whole-woman mentor to women called to the path of the healer and the embodiment of their gifts as intuitive, highly sensitive and attuned, empathetic individual. Amanda has served professionally as a healer for 5 years, completed thousands of channeled 1:1 healing sessions, and now equips rising practitioners to be the best they can be through her school, The School of Energy Healing.

A personal note from me: I hold many certifications, and have worked really hard for the skillset I have. But what clients and students tell me most often is “I have never felt more seen by anyone than you.” And that is my gift, why I am a teacher, and why I desire to mentor you. Certifications are amazing, and please take them. But what is going to change your life is being accurately seen in your Light. The Light you have hidden or been afraid to accept all your life. Not in a fluff way. But in the realest, most tangible, most transformative way possible.

I sincerely hope I get to walk with you, healer.

This container is six months of walking beside someone while your entire identity transforms, with high level energy healing support, while achieving energetic and spiritual mastery within yourself.

Because of the depth of this work and the level of access I provide, I only mentor 3 women at a time. Please reach out if you believe this is for you, and I will provide more information and your next steps.

It is my belief that this will be a timeline altering decision for the women who say “yes”. In 6 months, everything will be different in the best way possible.

In service to Love, thank you -

Amanda

July is the month of fireworks, the smell of bonfire, staying out late until dark and feeling held by the warmth. The month of bare feet and wet hair. My birthday month!

When I was little, I truly believed the 4th of July fireworks and ribbons and decorations were all for me, the world celebrating my birthday right along with me. The late nights, barbecues, and more time with friends and family, all helping me ring in my birthday.

I turned 33 this July.

Shortly after a transformative Ayahuasca ceremony.

On the tail end of thee, without a doubt, most difficult year of my life, one I literally thought 10,000x I would not survive.

A year I genuinely wanted to quit my work as a healer and run away and live in a remote location in Costa Rica forever lol.

A year where I thought God literally abandoned me and would never return.

A year where I decided to just write out all my raw thoughts on Substack without second guessing or editing (and trust me, I WANT TO edit after typing out things like this.)

In a season where many adult friendships I thought would stay have shifted.

My social dynamics and structures shifted, previous support systems gone.

Still, many soul sisters and soul-friends present!!! Love you and see you and so thankful for you.

And a year that my heart was absolutely wiped out exhausted by.

I still, life went forward, and turned 33 next to friends, family, and the river, freshly after a week with family, and 2 nights spent with Grandmother Ayahuasca, setting me on a new and long long long awaited upward timeline.

Let’s celebrate July, shall we?!

FAMILY

With my parents next to me, singing along to Eric Church. Their shoulders crouching over their own heart chakras, something I wish I could stop noticing. Their desire to make sure I am doing okay, but by the way of policing my short dress, asking about my retirement funds, and when my last dentist appointment was.

FRIENDS & SOULMATES

July, with my friends, the people I feel safe with, the people who have grown to see me quite clearly despite my limitations and humanness. The people who have held me through the last year, even just by being there and witnessing.

PACHAMAMA & THE RIVER

July, by the river, my sweet angel, the body of water I sit by weekly. She who takes away my headaches, my nervous system dysregulation, and my own fears. The river I have sat in ceremony next to weekly for a full year.

Camping, nature, pacha mama. My teacher and mother who witnesses me without rush, force, or agenda. She holds the space for the long journey, from birth to death, for me to forget myself 1 million times and remember 1 million and 1 times more

LOVE

July, with a new love, finally reclaimed from the darkness. The darkness that harvested my timelines, manipulated God’s gifts for me, and distorted my light. I cleared enough energy from timeline manipulation and dark force manipulation for it to fully manifest as it was always intended to, and while the journey is not done, I fall asleep as the little spoon next to a beautiful man I am in awe of, thankful, and refueled for the journey to come and ahead.

TIME OFF WORK

July, with rest. Taking time off of work and my own healing! For the last 8 months, I have spent almost 3-6 hours a DAY clearing and healing through my own initiation through the shadow and with the dark forces. Discipline, determination, extreme levels of dedication and self-love have taken the front stage without any other choice. All of this while holding students and clients and work. In July, I worked 3-5 hours a week and it…was…. so good!!!!

GRIEF & GRATITUDE

Truthfully, next to nothing looks like how I thought it would at 33. I did not pursue the career I went to school for and got a very costly master’s degree for. I still mourn the seasons I spent in learning, in study of human suffering, in preparation to be a healer, basically ages 23-33 spent traversing the full spectrum of the human (and spiritual!) psyche in both directions up and down. I still feel sad that it has to be this way, that you have to learn through direct experience, and that this had to be my path. I still mourn the ways I haven’t accomplished what I know is mine and mine alone.

(I say all of this and in the same breath feel so thankful for my life, my path, and the path that has led to the full embodiment of myself as a healer and channel. None of the highs would be possible without the journey and the truth, under the momentary grief, is that I fucking love my life and this epic tale that is being woven).

HOLDING SPACE FOR MYSELF, LOVING MYSELF ABOVE ALL.

FIRST, BEFORE CLIENTS, FAMILY, FRIENDS, AND PARTNERSHIP.

The lesson of July is: holding space for what is to come, while being with what is here. Honoring my SELF in the process, not the mission, not the way my human mind has conceptualized my life, not the future me, but myself, here, now, today.

Thirty three feels more mature than thirty two, no? It feels like a large milestone of adulthood, womanhood, the full becoming of mother (while I miss the innocence and whimsy of the maiden SO much lol).

Thirty three. Welcome. I know you will be good to me.

I know I have earned absolutely every bit of Joy and Love I have.

I know we are just beginning.

July, you were the bright patch on a long year. I absolutely loved you.

Thank you.

with Love,

Amanda

Have you walked this path?

The path from empath, to psychic, to healer?

Let’s begin with step 1, shall we?

1. “OMG, I am so sensitive to energy”

2. “I have had to go on my own healing journey, beyond the status quo.”

3. “I have been through many cycles of healing and awakening.”

4. “Through this process, have transformed myself from the inside out.”

5. “I may be more than highly empathetic”. I will develop my empathy into tangible skills of intuition and high-alchemy healing.”

6. “I now know I am more than empathetic, and I trust psychic ability more than my 5 physical senses and regularly live with 1 foot in each realm.”

7. “I know I am called by the Divine to live in service greater than myself.”

8. “I am now ready to become the highest expression of the healer within.”

9. “I know I innately have the capacity to hold my calling. I trust and put both feet on the path.”

10. “And, I recognize that I need the training, the skillset, the certifications, and the nervous system support to hold my mission, my clients, and become the highest expression of the healer within.”

    My work involves holding feminine healers as they work through the karmic wounds, ancestral pain , and their own trauma that they must face on their path to the becoming of the highest expression of the healer within. It involves training their spiritual gifts, their psychic ability, their spiritual understanding of healing, AND supporting their nervous system to hold the quality of energy that is capable of channeling through them. This is their sacred becoming, the feminine initiation into the fully developed archetype of the healer.

    ---

Empath is the training wheels. Psychic is the middle ground. And, Healer, is the full expression of the woman you are meant to become.

The truth is, you can stop at any of the above numbers. You can have the capacity to reach #10, and you can jump off the road at #4. And you get to come back, as many times as required, to reach 10.

Making it through the full progression to step 10 is not a guarantee.

It requires a conscious choice.

It is very bold to say the following statements as a high level healer:

1. “I am capable of channeling a quality of energy so high it will help your cells reorganize themselves”.

2. “I can hold the space for you to face inner shadows that have been avoided for generations.”

3. “I can help you actually become who God made you to be”.

The woman, the healer, who can confidently say these things without any flinching or wavering is not the woman who identifies with the words “empath”. She is not the woman who questions her gifts, ever. She is not the woman still running from her own calling.

She is the woman who has taken the journey herself, first, to answer the call on her life. It is the woman who has surrendered to her own calling and the transformative process occurring within who is able to lead others on that same path.

To become this woman, you need: high level psychic skill training, nervous system support and deep personal healing, and to be held and witnessed by someone who can see where you are walking and help you to get there.

emIf you are ready to become the highest expression of the healer within, the time is now. I cannot wait to support you.

Introducing THE MENTORSHIP, 6-month high-touch 1:1 mentorship for intuitive leaders and rising healers.

This is a powerful and transformative journey of inner alchemy designed for those ready to move deeply into alignment and lasting transformation and heal profoundly from within. This is the most high touch container available, and covers everything from your own healing, your nervous system, growing your psychic ability and ability to hold clients through their initiations and healing, to your business and marketing support.

This will be a decision that changes the trajectory of the rest of your work as a healer, and your life. This journey is an intimate journey that requires intimate support.

I can’t wait to support you.

Enrolling now for August and September start dates.

The healer archetype is a timeless embodiment of compassion, the restoration of wholeness, a warrior of light, and a humbled servant that answers to Love and Love alone.

Cultural names such as: Mother Theresa, Carl Jung, Joan of Arc, Ram Dass, Thich Nhat Hanh, Brene Brown, Gabor Mate, or Jane Goodall may come to mind.

Begin to reflect on what these individuals have in common. Each of them went through several awakenings, several dark nights of the soul, and several ego deaths involving their own pain and awakening path. And each of them made the conscious and difficult choice to take the higher path when faced with adversity, and use their wisdom and hard earned perspectives to answer a quiet call from deep within: to use the raw material they were given and create something to help heal the world according to a will, a purpose, a mission higher than their own.

In Intuitive Healing work, we are taking it one step even further. Because this work asks YOU to be the moment-to-moment channel for the Divine, to surrender your personal will, and hear to the quiet call of Spirit into deeper Truth within your body, your channel, your spiritual gifts, and your work as a healer. As you have experienced in Intuitive Healing Level 1, the experience of yourself as the healer goes beyond the realm of learning information - into the realm of genuine transformation of the Heart.

Dear gifted healer, it is my honor to welcome you into a deepening and further embodiment of this work through: Leaders in Light, Intuitive Healing Pathway, Level 2.

The SOEH presents, an Intuitive Healing Level 2 Certification:

• 12 WEEKS, MONDAY EVENINGS 5-7pm MST (1 call per week)

• OCTOBER 5th - JANUARY 11th, All major holidays off

• A DEEPENING OF YOUR HEALING SKILLSET

• A REMEMBRANCE OF YOUR CALLING

• A COMMUNITY OF SUPPORT

• INVESTMENT: $1,750 PIF, $455x4 payment plan, Klarna/Affirm accepted

  • Please note: You are also welcome to use Klarna or Affirm in the pay in full option to find a payment plan that works for you.

  • Pay in full option: Pay in full option, here.

  • $455x4 payment plan option: Payment plan x 4 months option, here.

• COMMUNITY GROUP CHAT SUPPORT

• RECOGNIZED INTUITIVE HEALING LEVEL 2 CERTIFICATION (OF 3 LEVELS TOTAL)

  To begin your journey in Level 2, you can do so here.

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To secure your spot in Level 2, you can sign up here.

As we deepen our study of the archetype of the healer, and turn inward to allow this essence to reveal itself to you, a level of sovereignty must emerge within the self.

Each individual healer discussed above carries a frequency of sovereignty.

Each individual called to the path of the healer answers a call, beyond them, beyond the status quo.

To follow one’s own path means, by default, that there will be no carbon copy to model after, and the individual will be operating from a frequency that is different than the collective energy, their family system, and what has been created before them. The sovereign healer paves her own path, by default. In fact, there is no way to answer this call without a new level of sovereignty emerging from within.

In 2026, modern healers abound. There are an estimated 25,000 (certified) breath work facilitators in the USA, an estimated 18,000 (certified) Reiki healers, and 34,000 (registered). spiritual life coaches.

This is beautiful. But, are all of these 77,000 healing practitioners embodying the true potential of the healer they hold within?

Because someone calls themselves a healer, does that mean they are truly sovereign in their Soul self, and allowing the Soul to lead?

That answer is no.

The frequency of the higher self, of the sovereign soul self, is necessary.

The path of the healer is much less about the modality used, than it is about the clear channel and vessel for the Spirit to lead in alignment with the Higher Self’s will.

And this is where Spirit, God, and your own Soul is truly leading you through this path. This is why you are even on this path at all.

To secure your spot in Level 2, you can sign up here.

Because sovereignty is the true destination, and where your calling truly lies, that is what we will be focusing on.

THE LEVEL 2 CURRICULUM INCLUDES:

• Week 1: A healer’s clean out toolkit: Healing and clearing the hand chakras, the channel, the third eye, a review of the tools, your sacred space, a review of integration.

• Week 2: Creating YOUR container, writing and speaking your unique declaration over your sovereign space, building an ongoing relationship with your teams of light. Answering yes/no questions, obtaining percentages, learning to receive guidance under any circumstances. Deep dive on sovereignty, meeting the sovereign self.

• Week 3: Working with light frequencies and intelligences: The diamond light, crystalline light, pure white light, rainbow light, understanding how to channel energy through the entire body and container for maximum healing of self and others. Building your arsenal of light intelligences and spiritual teams.

• Week 4: Understanding alchemy and energetic transformation, continuing to build your skillset of tracking alchemy in real time within the energy body and physical tissues. Understanding integration from a metaphysical and physical lens.

• Week 5: Working with your creative rings (halos), soul mission and purpose, and understanding your unique Soul lineage and values as a Soul. Working with the 8th chakra and the higher self.

• Week 6: Repairing the brain, repairing the physical nervous system, identifying ancestral patterns within the nervous system, deprogramming and reprogramming energy, healing spiritual anchor points that have been impacted through trauma for whole-system healing.

• Week 7: A deepening of healing techniques with Internal Family Systems, deepening of counseling skill, guiding client’s to deeper releases, holding advanced neutrality. Core wounds and pictures

• Week 8: Manifesting with your channel: creating manifestations in the quantum realm and working with your subconscious. Healing the astral body. Finding lost objects/remote viewing.

• Week 9: A deeper dive into sovereignty within your lineage and your role as a healer within your specific family system. An exploration of feminine archetypes of maiden, mother, matriarch and your role in the lineage healing.

• Week 10: Introduction to dark forces and dark force removal, understanding and seeing the dense programming we are moving out of as we move towards a new Earth, and how to best navigate, understand, and transmute these forces and energies.

• Week 11: Coming into full awareness of your mission and purpose. Are you “meant to” have a business? Are you “meant to” continue this work? What is the end goal you are walking towards? Finding this uniquely for each student in a way that is unforgettable.

• Week 12: Channeling your unique teacher’s vibration, and teacher’s voice vibration. Understanding the energy channel of you as a teacher. Channeling your unique vibration of classes, meditations, offerings, and healing work that is meant to come through your channel. Setting the sovereign energy for your offerings and leadership.

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  Meet your teacher: Amanda is a dedicated spiritual channel, energetic and somatic healer, and teacher of the art of Intuitive Healing & Energy Healing. In addition to training and skill in: Reiki Healing & Master Teacher, Meditation, The Akashic Records, Mediumship, Ancestral Healing, & High Level Channeling - Amanda is at her core, a teacher of the healing arts, and a whole-woman mentor to women called to the path of the healer and the embodiment of their gifts as intuitive, highly sensitive and attuned, empathetic individual. Amanda has served professionally as a healer for 4 years, completed thousands of channeled 1:1 healing sessions, and now equips rising practitioners to be the best they can be through her school, The School of Energy Healing.

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What previous students have said about Level 2….

“After completing both certifications, I honestly can’t imagine only doing Level 1 without continuing to Level 2. Level 1 is such a beautiful immersion, it opens you up, expands your awareness, and helps you discover your gifts. But for me, I truly felt like 3 months is just not enough to fully integrate everything. Level 2 gave me the time to practice, to ask more questions, and really step into doing this work rather than just earning about it.

The way Amanda teaches is just incredible. She teaches with so much integrity and intention in a way I have not experienced anywhere else. In a group, she makes sure each person is seen and supported in the way that they need in a genuine way.

Everyone has their own path, but if you’re feeling the pull towards Level 2, I would absolutely encourage you to follow it. It was one of the best investments I have made in myself and I truly believe that so much of the magic I gained from Intuitive Healing happened in the second 3 months, when I took Level 2.” - Cerena Johnson

“I personally feel that continuing to Level 2 is essential. Level 2 is where this all became personal for me, and brought with it a comprehensive understanding to my intuition, spiritual gifts, and healing. Not to mention Amanda is a very gifted teacher and very trustworthy, which is essential as you are opening in this space! Level 2 was one of the best investments I have ever made for my own healing as well as my career!” - Samantha Yates

“Level 2 was so key for me to feel confident charging for healing sessions. I became more embodied in my abilities and it helped me cultivate more advanced skills that gave me the confidence to know myself as an intuitive healer. Absolutely recommend for someone who wants to add this work to their business and use their gifts in highest service.” - Cally Vetter

Reserve your space in Level 2, here.

Dear healer, it would be my honor to continue our work together and deepen your experience in Level 2.

It is my personal belief that these courses are not just the learning of a skill or information, but a genuine transformation of the spirit that is best fostered within long-term relationship and long-term mentorship containers. For me personally, it took multiple years (3-5 years ongoing) of mentorship with consistent teachers for me to fully embody, own, and develop the full extent of my spiritual gifts and abilities. My highest intention is that you feel supported and safe enough to trust the pull of your spirit deeper than you ever have before, within the context of long-term support, and come home to the healer that lives within you through The School of Energy Healing community and the full 6-month Intuitive Healing pathway. It is truly an honor to witness your becoming, and I absolutely treausure the opportunity to serve as “teacher” in the unfolding of your journey to the highest embodiment of the healer within.

There is abundance, greatness, beauty, and grace written and declared over your journey into your full soul mission in your family, lineage, community, and business - should you choose to answer the call. It would be an absolute honor to continue our studies and development through The Intuitive Healing Pathway, Level 2, Leaders in Light.

If you have any questions regarding if this is the correct next step for you, please reach out to schedule a private 1:1 meeting! Please note: this page is regarding Level 2, for which Level 1 is a prerequisite. If you are interested in the first level of work, please message me directly.

To sign up for Level 2 by paying in full, please sign up: HERE.

Thank you, and with immense love,

Amanda

The heart of the healer, is the heart of a fierce, ruthless, warrior. The heart of the healer is the heart of a fearless leader. The heart of a healer would do anything for truth, for justice, for sacred, holy alchemy.

This frequency is an experience far, far, far beyond the human identity, ego, and nervous system. The human identity, ego, and nervous system is capable of counseling techniques, of learning a skill, of following a healing protocol in a client sesssion. True alchemy - is a capacity of the spirit.

The heart of the healer can only emerge when the human identity and perceptual system, nervous system, and ego has been sufficiently deconstructed, for the frequency of the soul, the heart, and of the spirit not to be discovered - but for it to reveal itself, to emerge without force, and to lead the healer as it conducts ALL of the work.

There is no separation between a paid healing session, doing laundry, or conducting family affairs. Once this process has occurred, it is the dominant state.

Despite over 75,000 registered and certified healers of various kinds in the USA, this transformation is not something that can be faked, bought, or expedited.

It is an ongoing process of excavation of the deepest corners of your system, often involving extensive dark nights of the soul, numerous initiations, and often, multiple and many moments of complete ego obliteration.

What emerges from the rubble is: the light of the spirit, your true frequency, the embodiment of light intelligence meant to lead you and take the reins in every area of your life.

This is a process of profound transformation, one that has its own timeline and no definitive end. It is for those who deeply resonate with these words that I write this for. My dear healer, take heart. Allow the heart of the warrior, the healer, the leader you are becoming to guide and lead you fully. This is what it means to truly answer the call. The call has to come from an alchemical force that does a good and holy work in and through you - this is why there is no path clear to the human mind, or logical unfolding of human-approved steps to take.

For a new frequency is emerging, and a preceding deconstruction must take place. The true frequency of your warrior heart is emerging, and it will unfold as a new and old friend right before your very eyes.

The heart of the warrior, the leader, the healer is a sacred force of healing and alchemy, and it cannot come from your human self. So surrender to the process, the cocoon phase you are in, and prepare to allow an energy beyond you to lead and guide you.

Trust. Take heart. Support the whole woman. And know that this path is written for you, and beauty, grace, abundance are written over it should you choose to take it. I promise you are loved every step of the way.

With love,

Amanda

To book a 1:1 healing and reading, please do so here at Amanda Joan Healing. If you are interested in training programs or 1:1 healing experiences & mentorship, please inquire at amandajoanhealing@gmail.com.

Thank you. Book with Amanda Joan Healing.

Many business ideas, offerings, and programs to plan and launch.

I am obsessed with the work I do as a high level healer.

I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

This is bold to say online, where you can’t hear my tone of voice as I speak, but I have yet to find any spiritual healing programs like mine. I truly believe the quality of my work and my channel is unmatched, some of the best work you can find. As of now, it is the best I have been able to find.

My work involves holding feminine healers as they work through the karmic wounds, ancestral pain points, and their own trauma that they must face on their path to the becoming of the highest expression of the healer within. It involves training their spiritual gifts, their psychic ability, their spiritual understanding of healing, AND supporting their nervous system to hold the quality of energy that is capable of channeling through them. This is their sacred becoming, the feminine initiation into the fully developed archetype of the healer.

And while I love my work, so much, I am having the hardest time getting my feet moving in my business again…..

My heart feels so tender, and quite broken, and so stretched open on this path. From this path. To be honest - the path of a healer can freaking hurt. It is actually the hardest thing I have ever done, and it has asked more of me than I could have ever conceptualized at the time I initially said yes years ago.

And it feels very strange to initiate other women onto that path, knowing very well that as they progress, many difficult experiences will come for them to initiate them, to deepen their understanding, and to push them deeper into their unique path as a healer.

Knowing full well as I do, that the path of a healer is not easy by any means. It is completely unrelated to business success, instagram followers, or external representations of success. It is agreeing with God to help you surrender ALL that is not conceived in truth and in Love.

The true path of the healer is an inward game of excavation and liberation within.

Where God orchestrates events and circumstances to break open all egoic, shadow, or rigid thought and energy forms. ALL.

Which the becoming healer must experience through, or as, suffering.

The true path of the healer is a dance with God and God alone. And while it is incredibly meaningful, and will take you to the ends of the earth if you choose to go…..

I can never promise that it will be easy.

In fact I know that it won’t be.

If it is taking you somewhere meaningful, it won’t be.

Which leads me to the age old question, that I and many others have wrestled with for ages…. when you have a calling, is there a choice to follow it? Is it actually a choice?

Could it actually be any other way?

Is there a reality where a truly called healer could possibly say no to their own calling?

Is there a reality where the internal push to say YES wouldn’t just get louder, and louder, and louder?

No. There isn’t.

The only paths are: saying yes, or resisting saying yes. There isn’t even a reality, really, where the called individual can actually say no.

And I am hearing, realizing, feeling right now in this moment that for those in a position where others are watching this “happen to” them like myself….

The objective is for the healer to simply be in their experience.

In the pain, uncertainty, grief, and heartache.

For that is what gives others courage that this too, will come to pass for them.

That the game was never to have a polished shiny business.

Or to achieve external results.

The game was always.

To become the highest expression and embodiment of God’s essence and spark.

And for this to take place.

Much releasing, excavation, surrender even if even when the worst happens, and submission to the will of God alone.

Such a good way to market my work, no?!

All of this sounds so enticing and positive, right?!

Hehe. I know it doesn’t.

But it is true.

And my hope is that those who sincerely resonate with it will find solace knowing that they are not alone, that there are guides who can walk beside, not in front of, while simultaneously lighting the way for all to go further as a collective.

This is a field note from the messy middle, regaining strength, calling in renewed purpose and energy.

The place where my heart is still healing to come up for air, my heart is still healing to have the strength to pursue my own work, my own calling, even deeper, with more clarity and conviction.

I absolutely love writing on Substack because I get downloads in real time, as I write. Major life hack, highly recommend. And that last line just connected the dots for me. There is even more clarity, conviction, and certainty landing in my system, through this period. It is coming.

My intention has always been in the most pure way - God, create as much light through my life as humanly possible. In my business, my family, my home, my work, my clients, my life.

That will always remain true.

PS - to book 1:1 energy healings, clearings, readings, please do so, here. Would love to see you in the remaining weeks of summer! Amanda Joan Healing Booking Link.

With love,

Amanda

$100 OFF YOUR SESSION, code at the bottom of email :).

the big: I have transmuted generations of trauma, through specific patterns of the nervous system, in 60 minutes. I have brought forth all 4 bloodlines of ancestors for ancestral healing, released inverted energy from the organ systems, and worked with trauma patterns in the nervous system in BIG ways. We have channeled long awaited spirit babies, done deep womb and infancy healing, and processed unconscious repressed memories with grace, ease, and light.

the simple: and, sometimes, what’s needed is the channeling of a business offering. The simple loving guidance from the higher self that the client is on the right path. the reading, the validation, of family dynamics and relationship patterns as well as relationship healing.

Sessions can take big themes, present with timeline changing energy releases, and be truly transformational to a client’s path.

And sometimes, the themes are more simple, calm, gentle.

I trust myself, my channel, and the container to take the lead. I never question where the session goes. I know that I am guided by Spirit and the client’s angel teams to the highest healing that can occur.

I am truly so proud of my work and the quality of energetic and somatic healing, spiritual counseling, and crystal clear channeling I provide.

It has been so special to learn from the best of the best teachers, and then deviate entirely in my own energetic reading style, finding my wings and unique lifetimes-long voice and essence as the healer archetype within.

If you are seeking the following:

• an energetic release

• accurate guidance and clarity

• deeper insight into physical pain and health issues

• recovering from dark nights of the soul

• finding your unique essence and voice

• feeling called to the path of the healer

My work may be you.

Come and commune in ceremony with me, and let’s tune into the Soul and Source together.

USE THE CODE “SUMMER” for $100 OFF YOUR SESSION IN JULY + EARLY AUGUST. See you soon!

Book: HERE, AMANDA JOAN HEALING.

In service to Love and Truth,

Amanda

Everyone (AKA the absolutely terrifying Reddit threads) has warned me it tastes like black tar, but I absolutely love it. If you have ever had a strong Reishi tea, or Shilajit, it tastes like concentrated Earth in general. I found it actually delicious lol.

Because it is my first time, my angel shaman…

Read more

A note from a previous teacher fell out of my drawer.

I hadn’t looked at it in months, since she passed.

Janelle was a teacher to me, someone I had met in Colorado through her iconic breath-work journeys, who I quickly recognized on a soul-level as my teacher.

This caused some friction, because it is actually quite hard to be in friendship or social dynamics with someone who is actually, spiritually, your teacher. There are conflicting roles and it was never quite defined and overall a bit confusing for me when I was so new to my spiritual journey.

I recognized the codes in her clearly and immeadiately. The recognition was instant and strong and mutual, and it was clearly a teacher dynamic.

In 2023, Janelle facilitated an absolutely life changing women’s circle for myself and 9 other women. She also held me through my first experiences with psilocybin and helped me learn to work with this medicine on a high-level somatically. It was the kind of explosive, soul-growth portal, that held all of us in a profound way and blasted us off into new timelines. I honestly feel like I can never do another women’s circle, because of how transformational that one was. It was truly a magical experience, some of her best work as a teacher and facilitator, and completely life changing for me and the other women in the group.

2023, Women’s group.

A few short years later, Janelle passed away of colon cancer.

When I was praying, begging for a sign, about doing this journey, this note fell out of the drawer. This happened when I was begging for a sign, mind you, lol. But I found it so interesting because of the words written here. This is a poem she channeled right before the end of our circle. She stated, I remember, “I feel called to share these words to define this sisterhood. They just… came through.”

“Take the risk, bare your soul, seek the wisdom that makes your heart whole. Raise your arms, spread your wings, hear the music, let yourself sing. Step forward, move, dance, chant in song. Feeling this sisterhood, tender and strong.”

Those words that struck out to me so significantly and I felt like they were speaking to me….. “Seek the wisdom that makes your heart whole.” and, “Step forward, move, dance, chant in song.”

If you read Pt I and II, you know why those words spoke so clearly to me.

I also found it interesting because in our women’s circle, we did not sing, dance, chant, hear music, move, dance in song, or anything in this poem, lol. She had no tangible or logical reason to write these words for our group. I remember her clearly saying, “It just feels right to write this.”

I took this poem, the fact that it fell out of the dresser drawer, and that it was from Janelle, as a clear sign, and I brought this note with me to my journey, and kept it out. Janelle was an extremely brave person, fought an aggressive form of cancer, and was absolutely fearless on medicine journeys.

I knew that just having this card out would bring out the ruthless, savage, type of bravery that she had in medicine work that I admired in her, that I wanted to embody this night.

So I have it out, and I go through my journey with Ayhuasca, all listed in Pt I & II. Then, at the very end of the journey, right before sunrise and completion, I see a flash of light near this card, and it comes back into my awareness.

And I see it all so clearly.

It’s hard to describe how these knowings download into you if you haven’t done a lot of plant medicine, but for those of you who know, know. You can clairvoyantly receive lots of information very quickly when tapped into the medicine, processing at lightning speed through all senses.

I was shown how Janelle, spiritually from her oversoul, knew her life would be cut a but shorter than the rest of us. She had strong soul contracts of sisterhood, friends, loving alliances with many of us - the women in the group. Spiritually, her spirit knew that was coming for her, that this was coming for me, and many other initiations of various kinds were coming for all of the women.

Her oversoul, beyond her conscious mind, wrote this note for many of us, and one of the reasons for the note was for me, right now, at this exact time in my spiritual journey, meant to be read at this exact moment. Almost like it was meant to be refound right now.

I could see the thread of this poem, like a line of light crossing timelines far beyond any human understanding, plugging exactly into this timeline, now into this ceremony.

And I was shown her oversoul, the overarching intelligence that knows and sees all, who said to me, “Hiiiii!!!! You made it! Welcome!!! I knew you would. I knew you would.”

This experience absolutely blew my human mind so much I genuinely felt like a scientist opening up a new world. You mean our oversouls can orchestrate synchoncities even beyond our own life, way beyond what we are aware of at that time?! You mean the web of love and support can cross timelines like this?!

To which Ayahuasca replied to me, “Yes, of course it can. And that’s not even the whole of it. You have no idea.”

I spent the remainder of the journey releasing grief, joy, expressing it all through my heart. Ending the ceremony in awe, gratitude, and deep tenderness, with my mind blown and at the same time a knowing that… of course it is this way. Could it be any other way?

I have more than enough strength to continue and finish the journey of my life to completion.

I understand that things are going to get much, much better, and that I have much to celebrate, be thankful for, and be excited about experiencing.

My life is not about service, it’s about me.

My next steps are to continue to build structures in my business to support the rising and becoming of many amazing healers and leaders.

To reintegrate myself into my family, relationships, my own body, into spaces I left while I focused on this part of my journey, and to complete the full integration from maiden to mother on every level, down to the DNA, to hold my light, mission, humanity, and work.

I will master the dark forces, the shadow realm, and all of the healing that is available through this awareness in time. I will also train as many fantastic healers as I can.

My heart can be healed. There is reason for experiences like this. They are not random, but carefully selected as the pathway to Mastery in perfect, divine timing. I saw it in a way I can’t unsee it. I may forget here and there, but never completely.

I am refueled, I understand, and I am ready.

and I am thankful.

A final note on Ayahuasca and plant medicines:

I also am intending that this writing helps more people become connected to the beautiful healing medicines our Earth provides us with. Set, setting, intention, and your ability to sit in your own distortion that is already there is what determines a positive psychedelic journey. Negative journeys, are more often than not, just initiating us deeper into the distortion and inversion that already lives within us - and is to be faced, not feared.

Plant medicines have been one of the biggest catalysts on my healing and spiritual journey. And nothing fancy either. Some of my biggest, darkest emotions were processed by me alone in my bedroom screaming into a pillow on mushrooms. Highly do not recommend until you know the medicine and yourself very well. Seek a facilitator who knows what they are doing, and when you are ready for independent work, they are your ally and partner.

Earth Medicines know no dogma, human belief systems, hierarchy, or judgement. They just mirror you, you, clearly and consistently, for you to witness and see yourself. They create the conditions for stagnant emotions and experiences to release from the energetic and light body in ways science is only just beginning to understand.

If you are seeking Ayahuasca, please sit with trained shamans from sacred lands and lineages. Find the thread that is sacred and true.

Intending this spreads the information about these medicines to anyone who needs it.

A final note on the inverted suppressive shadow system, false light healers, & dark forces:

After this experience of becoming so in-tune with this frequency, that again, most don’t even know exists…. I can spot it a mile away. It has shown itself to me in every client session since this journey began, deeply embedded in the unconscious aspects of their soul and nervous system. In clients I have worked with for years, who I never saw this energy in them before, but am finally able to.

Without addressing this, without healing the ties within the spirit to the inverted shadow, true and complete soul healing cannot occur - because this is the root at the root at the root at the root.

I also have become very aware that this energy lives within MANY spiritual healers, coaches, leaders, and big names in the coaching industry. UGH it kills Me actually. Lots of healers I previously trusted. I want you to begin to ask yourself where the energy to generate multiple million dollars a month might come from? The Universe IS limitless - but it is also balanced. Begin to think critically about what deals must be made, albeit unconsciously, to be an energy current for such an unbalanced energy stream? Interesting, isn’t it?

My ex-mentor lives in Bali, where she is regarded as a top healer, the best of the best, the person you see when nothing else will work. It took my 5+ years to see through her distortion. I am the ONLY person who has woken up from her darkness at this moment in time.

These forces work within the Catholic Church, global wars, global inversions, wars for resources, the spiritual new-age community, and spiritual healers alike. There is just as much distortion in the new-age spiritual community as there has been in the church, in politics, in Hollywood, etc. And I see it can now see it clear as day, as clearly as this computer in front of me - because after this experience, this frequency is something I would recognize 1,000 miles away.

It is time to turn your discernment up, creating space for grace but also taking this seriously.

I will continue to address this with my clients and students.

I am so proud of how the quality of my healing work has increased already.

I will master this realm and this lens of healing.

I will begin to weave small aspects of this into The School of Energy Healing certifications and community work.

And, I do invite you to become aware. Please see my post “My Descent into the Underworld” HERE, to begin to understand the differences between normal human shadow, and the inverted shadow realm that has taken on a consciousness of it’s own.

Soon, I will be beginning education on the true frequency of the real, one, true “God” - the Source, Spirit, the living light of creation itself VS. and the distorted “god” being that my mentor channels, and all of the chaos it causes in every branch of spirituality, religion, NEW AGE, politics, and the world. Stay tuned, my beautiful community of healers and healers to be. <3

Thank you for reading one of the most intimate journeys of my life with love, care, and non judgement.

As I end this series, writing at a coffee shop, so much long needed and long awaited integration landing - my clairvoyance and clairaudience are wide alive, ears ringing, body buzzing, with chills.

I will take one more moment to say, check-fucking-mate to the darkness. I will, on God, take you down, free thousands of clients, and walk boldly into all that is written for me while having the absolute time of my life, becoming more truly joyful, fulfilled, loved, hotter, happier, more successful, and more expansive, while educating and training hundreds of healers to break free in turn and do the same. Best of luck to you.

Thank you for reading.

With lots of love and gratitude, and in service to the highest Truth and Love for quite literally all eternity. To infinity and beyond. 🤍

Amanda

In this writing, you will find some details of my recent spiritual initiation, spiritual trauma, information about the Yawanawa tribe of Brazil, the sacred medicine about Ayahuasca, and the beginnings of my first journey, here.

This experience was everything I needed and more. Pt II, and III, will be out later this week with the more intimate details of my experience.

Warning… vulnerability alert. Please receive with care.

Thank you.

- Amanda

My heart has been so, so broken. I am going to share this authentically and fully in the moment.

The short story: My spiritual mentor, and very best best friend of 5 years attempted to sacrifice my life, over a period of several years of gaining my trust and love, with the intention to slowly but surely strip me bare of everything God intended for me for her personal gain. This happened because my organic, true, soul path includes lots of love, abundance, and goodness, and hers does not, and she also happens to be an extremely dark soul who is skilled in high-level sorcery and karmic manipulation. So, she tried to take it all, and deplete me entirely in the process.

The long story: A long, convoluted story about trust, false light technology, the inverted darkness that infiltrates our world, naivety, friendship, karma, deception, black magic, spiritual distortion and manipulation, gnosticism, the evil that targets gifted spiritual lights, unique soul lessons that must be learned, and the complex and vast shadow system; all coming in time.

I mean…..like….that’s a lot for someone to handle, no?! Jesus.

I also want to say, this is so vulnerable to share. This has been the most difficult experience of my life, and honestly lifetimes to process. I am committed to making my Substack a place for the pure unadulterated truth, not for marketing or for watered down wisdom. I honestly can’t even believe I am sending this out to my email list lol. Please be patient with me as I continue to find the words and process. I love you.

The level of pain, hardship, spiritual attack, and dark force infiltration into every layer of my being has been genuinely insane. She tried to take my life, my positive karma, and the blessings of my life path - and she actually succeeded for years. I have died 100,000 deaths and actually thought I would die removing myself from her dark web. This person is a genuine sociopath, the darkest soul I have ever even known to exist, and currently still “mentoring” many people for her “mission”, writing books on spiritual development, holding retreats….. while stealing the light and souls of her students and trapping them in the underworld for her personal gain. Her mechanism is simple: steal the positive karma, and dump her negative karma onto the victim - and the negative karma she carries is enough to drive a person to insanity. Her entire work is advanced, pure forms of black magic, evil, and false light distortion. She is the absolute devil embodied as a new age spiritual healer, and someone my younger, very naive, loving, and generous heart trusted and loved deeply. This initiation at times has felt like it was going to kill me. I have been living a real life horror movie, fighting for my very life at the hands of someone I loved and trusted, in ways that can never be expressed through writing. I honestly do not think I will ever be able to describe accurately just how intense this process has been.

She was my closest friend and confidant, and we grew extremely close as “sisters” over the course of 5 years. Many of her clients are her victims, but because I was so…. close, so trusting of my best friend, I was the primary target and “fuel source” to fuel her recent marriage, baby, and home. She is a dark soul, with literally no true light, who does not have organic soul blessings from God like I do. So to receive good things - she has to manipulate the karmic path of others and cover herself in a veil so the victim wont see. All of what she has in her life is running off of stolen energy… from me.

I have not begun to speak out against her, because I am still in active process and am in genuine danger if I were to, but the time is coming in which it will be finally time to share and also help the others. I cannot fucking wait. Too many beautiful, innocent souls like myself are actively being abused, under a spell of distortion, stomaching thousands of years of suppression and abuse from her “mission”, right now.

The darkness chose the right girl to mess with. Check fucking mate. I will see this to the end, I will master this process and have already begun to, and I will free as many souls as possible on the way - and that is a PROMISE, on God.

I have been in full, ongoing, direct battle with the largest, vastest, most evil, darkest forces that exist in the universe for more than 2 years, for 8 months straight in the most intense and direct way, and completely annihilated by the sheer work, force, and intensity that my full liberation has required.

I know literally only a handful of human beings in existence who have gone head-to-head with this energy in this way, and the only other examples I have are spiritual figures from history in ancient texts or literally saints. It is an extremely rare, very dark, lonely, and intense experience.

This has required every single ounce of bravery I have - sometimes with my entire body shaking in fear.

And my heart has been completely broken right along with it. And I mean…… broken. Shattered beyond repair.

Meditation, nervous system work, breathwork, and any other tool has been completely helpless at truly helping my heart, my emotions, my sadness heal. I have invested of thousands of dollars into expert support. I have spent 6-8 hours every single day for months, sometimes well into the night (and for multiple nights on end, without choice) without sleeping, learning, healing, clearing, crying, dying to myself, sobbing to God, being consumed by fear, sometimes fully shaking, facing evil head on, being a direct target of it, fighting it, and then clearing some more. I have grown as a healer so much, it is wild. I am literally a force against darkness, already, in a way beyond my wildest dreams. The truly, skilled, force of nature, lightworker I never even knew I had the capacity to be. I honestly didn’t know I could go this far. I am transforming right before my own eyes at a very fast pace as I learn and heal. It is all so wild. I am starting to feel so, so proud of myself, and know that I will help hundreds of people because of this process.

But… even as hope arrives, I have danced very much with the idea that my heart will be broken… forever.

I will be a spiritual teacher and healer, and I will help many people heal themselves! I will even be an advanced shadow worker because of this journey. I will become known for my skill, my channel…. but, I must do it all with a completely broken heart, slowly dying inside, forever. It is the only option. My heart is broken. There is no unbreaking it. It was too much. It is simply too much. She took so much. It isn’t possible.

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Even in the spiritual community, I truly feel and have always felt there are so few teachers and healers who can truly see into my journey. The healing discussions in women’s circles, post-breath work integration, and healing events have left me feeling so, so, so lonely and often going home heartbroken. The core wound, and feeling was and always is: There is no one facing what I am facing. There is truly no one who can guide me, lead me, or who understands. This is next level and there is no one here for me here.

There is no one here for me. I have to lead myself. I have to, there is no other option.

This has continued, and I’ve gotten good with it. I am good at it. And, I understand it just is what it is and I just inherently have the capacity for my own calling because it cannot be another way. Teachers and healers have shown up to offer me aspects of their medicine that do see me, and I am thankful. But honestly, where this shows up for me now, is that I truly have no idea how to authentically share about my life on social media.

Battling dark forces? Betrayal by my spiritual mentor and teacher? Facing the forces of hell head-on? Talking directly to God? Understanding spiritual warfare and seeing it with my own eyes? Watching my own soul literally jump out of my eyes and instruct the happenings of my life? Feeling like a black sheep even in the spiritual community? Feeling like a black sheep even in the most fringe or fringe groups of the spiritual community? How the hell am I supposed to build a brand?

And more importantly, how am I supposed to just share authentically, and be liberated in my expression? How am I supposed to connect with others and accurately explain my self, let alone my work?

I do not know the answer. But I am simply just going to start and try. I am thankful that Substack is a place to start.

My reflections on year 32:

In my 32nd year, I experienced the most personal growth I ever have. This came through immense spiritual betrayal by a spiritual mentor, a person I trusted with my life, direct encounters going head-to-head with the darkest forces that exist in our vast universe that 99.9% of humanity doesn’t even know exists, being a direct target of evil, being completely annihilated with the level of spiritual work required to heal from this, and absolutely dying again, and again, and again, to every desire and preference my human ego has ever had. It came through losing friendships, networks, stability pillars, watching the identity I worked so hard for years to build and feel comfortable in disappear overnight into thin air, and having to find myself at square -1,000 of the healing journey of being human. It came from holding dozens of clients and students, a booked out client calendar, the most beautiful and successful containers and programs, sold out events, financial success in my business, a huge surge in my spiritual gifts and abilities, becoming the true channel I always knew I could be, and living my absolute best as a healer and teacher, while simultaneously absolutely crumbling as a human. It came from reaching a place within myself that I had no faith, whatsoever, believing I need to quit this career because I simply cannot hold the faith any longer, and I just want to be normal and God must truly, truly, truly hate me and I just want to quit and run away forever. My heart has never, ever, ever been broken the way it was this year. And this is coming from someone who before 32, had already thought I had traversed the realms of the deepest healing possible for a human being.

And yet, there IS grace at the end of this road. I am not saying this to be cliche. I honestly have absolutely nothing in me to write cliche posts with surface level hope-isms. I am actually trying so hard not to just slap a cute phrase over any of my experiences this year, especially to make it digestible for social media or my “brand”. That is not how I operate, period. I know there are real answers in this universe, especially for those who ask and listen, and I will demand of God a complete explanation and wait I will until I have it.

And here, there is grace, it is real, it is at the bottom of everything, and I have found it. God, I wish it wasn’t this way. I wish I could stay in victim mindset. After all of this, I deserve it, you know?! But no…. there really is grace here.

Grace at the bottom. How?

Let me explain.

I used to have clear visions of me at 32.

I used to see visions of me teaching, leading, and living a beautiful life.

I had these visions consistently ages 27-32, as Spirit’s way of reminding me that I am going somewhere useful with my spiritual journey, that God doesn't punish.

In these visions, something very important was present.

My entire body was submitted to the current of the wind. In these visions, my entire human ego and body system was surrendered beyond what I even know how to do at this time still, and definitely back then.

She has been completely emptied of herself. And I mean… empty.

And in the vision, she is the full divine feminine, completely at one with the wind, with the very breath of God. Full of Life in its highest form and expression. She has no memory of the past, no thought of the future. She is here, fully, open, empty, swept up with the very breath of the moment, breathing creation and manifestation through her very breath, body, and awareness, effortlessly. The strongest and highest force of love on planet earth, manifesting grace around her with her very awareness.

I will never forget just how submitted, surrendered, I am in that vision.

And I don’t have the capacity for it yet, it’s still a vision. Technically speaking I am behind schedule, late for my own vision.

But THIS is where the Grace is. In the complete dissolution of everything, every thing the human grabs for. EVERYTHING. Beyond that. Beyond that too. Beyond everything. Far beyond the edges of what the spiritual community believes healing to be. Far beyond the edges of what can fit in a shareable caption and instagram post. Far beyond the edges of what you could ever expect.

The lessons for me.

This whole journey of 32, I know, logically and conceptually, has been about me finally, finally, finally learning the lesson that not everyone has my heart, that I really am that pure, and to be way fucking less naive and loving with that trust. Loving myself enough to see my true self clearly and see that it actually is rare, it is not normal, and to be extremely discerning with my own self as my biggest and highest asset. AND, forming me into the greatest healer I could ever be. There is no way to learn something other than direct experience, so it truly could not be any other way. God, I fully accept that.

And, the other piece, is for me. Not for the world, for clients, or for a mission. For me. And it is the experience of being so utterly emptied that you have no choice but to breathe with Life itself. I honestly feel I was meant to write this Substack just so I could remember that. God, please help me remember.

God, my father, Abba - so far beyond what any religion could ever conceptualize (please don’t tell me my readers still think I am talking to the Christian god……. or subscribing to organized religion…C’mon fam it’s 2026) please help me to humble myself before the breath of Life itself. Please help me remember and live that there are no mistakes. Please sit my ego down and help me kneel at the altar of everything and nothing all at once. Please help me shut-up about my human drama and remember, wake up, be alert to, the real purpose of my life. Please help me move, act, and release my pain as quickly as I can to be filled with new life force, new breath, and the energy of the future moving through my pulse. Help me live as Love itself, a creation vessel, the feminine, God’s windpipe. Please help me be an agent of this level of submission, surrender, and faithless faith. I know there is only one place that posture leads and it is to everything and nothing all at once and the pinnacle of the human experience. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to learn and to get there. I am sorry for fighting it every step of the way. Thank you.

I am so excited to begin to share more on social media.

Aside from everything discussed in this email, the typical fears are also there, around family, friends, judgement, the like. But I am here for it. We get one life. Our medicine and wisdom is uniquely ours to own and share, not a soul can do it for us, and I simply refuse to be in the waiting room of my own life.

I choose to become the woman in the vision.

I choose to minimize the time wasted in victimhood.

I remember: God does not make mistakes.

I am one with the breath of Life itself. I choose it. I know it will be messy and fumbled at first, and that is okay.

Thank you for reading and contributing.

I love you.

Amanda

It came randomly, the urge to get out the laptop and type on a Thursday afternoon.

Accompanied with something I needed…. the lack of fear. Of anything.

A knowing that truly, no force against me shall prosper. A knowing that there are no mistakes. A true sense of faith.

I hope you will find this educational, and receive it with love :).

This journey truly is so intimate, and vulnerable to share.

My initiation into the shadow, the underworld, the inverted darkness:

Over the last two years, I have bravely, consistently, courageously, often very messily, cluelessly, sometimes very, very weakly been in the midst of a very deep spiritual initiation, that I truly and transparently have no idea how to eloquently or accurately share. The type of stuff I can only find evidence of in ancient texts. The type of stuff I searched long and wide for anyone else walking the same path or anyone to help. I am just trusting the pull to begin to put pen to paper and share, praying I can accurately find the words for those it is meant for. For me, to be accurately seen.

In spiritual communities, spiritual circles, spiritual traditions, faiths, and ancient mythology - the “shadow” is discussed as a part of the human psyche that serves our experience of duality. Many texts have used the word: sin, ego, hell, human suffering, or shadow. It represents the darker aspects of the human psyche and lessons we must move through and integrate for the soul to experience the full spectrum.

This is beautiful, accurate, and true.

The shadow is a realm of undiscovered, un-freed, not-yet-reclaimed love.

It is a realm of endless potential for healing for all souls, in all universes and dimensions, but especially for humanity and earth.

I actually freaking love the shadow and shadow work with myself and a client. I have no fear whatsoever in shadow because the only thing you can possibly find is where you have disconnected from love, and then we get to reconnect it. Easy lol.

And a shadow initiation is a beautiful reclamation of healing, of grace, and of the genuine Love of God. If you have been initiated into truly, delving into your shadow - it is something to celebrate and love. It is even something to throw a party over!! Your soul is coming home. Hallelujah.

However, this is where we will get into ancient mythology and the lesser known and misunderstood realms of shadow - the distorted underworld.

This same shadow realm, over thousands of years, has birthed its own creations outside of God’s will. Accounts of this inversion can be found in accurate and full detail in Gnosctic texts, ancient drawings, and versions of it in the Bible and virtually every major faith’s depiction of the “fall of humanity” or the fall from grace. The shadow has developed it’s own agenda, it’s own distortions, it’s own malignant and malicious mechanics. These mechanisms have developed, over thousands and thousands of years to be highly formed, advanced, sophisticated, very very very deceiving, and manipulative.

This inverted shadow is not beautiful, accurate, or true.

It is sinister, anti-life, and seeks to destroy the human spirit and suppress its organic healing, growth, and soul mission. Where there is life, faith, goodness - the inverted shadow seeks to destroy it and prevent it from ever becoming manifest into form. It actively works against the true, natural “agenda” of God or Source Consciousness - which is healing, unity, love, and the natural ascension path of humanity. This inverted shadow responsible for all wars that have ever been, all inverted and perverted large events of history for those in power, the corruption in politics, power, and fame, and the deep disconnection that most of humanity has from it’s heart at this time. It is the primary source of “evil” on our planet and the quiet distortion that emanates off of tv screens while families watch the news. On a smaller scale, it is responsible for the self-hatred, shame, fear of self, that keeps people trapped in their cycles.

This is the realm I have been initiated into, initiated into understanding, and initiated into transmuting to the very best of my ability. It is a realm that unfortunately, affects all of humanity, as well as global spherses of influence such as Hollywood, politics, wars, wars for resources, and larger spectrums of genuine human suffering. It affects our entire world, whether one knows it or not, whether one is “spiritual” or not, whether one mediates or not…. whether one believes it or not.

Oh, the places she will go.

And while it has been one of the greatest initiations of my soul experience, and there are moments where I feel so connected to my power in ways that could never have been achieved without this…..it has also broken my heart in ways I did not know it could be broken.

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This was the book we got for our high school graduations. That we gave to others as a farewell, a bon voyage. Sometimes I think back to my high school self: extremely bright, loving, kind, inclusive, a friend to all. About to study speech pathology. Thinking she would marry her high school boyfriend lol. A clear life path.

But oh…. the places she will go. The places she doesn’t even know she will go. My angel.

My dear Substack, friends, some select family, my client family, my students.

I am ready to open up about the journey I have been on for the last two years now. It has truly been the most intimate journey of my life, shared with a few select friends and clients who were simply witnessing me and I could not keep it from them.

Truthfully, what has unfolded over the last two years has been the most vulnerable journey of my life. My most intimate reckoning with my own soul, my work, and with God.

I know someday I will share it proudly and boldly.

I know someday I will even master the lessons it in and perhaps even teach it to others.

Others will even see me as strong in it!

Capable, their teacher. The person they trust with the same journey.

But on this day, my heart is still a bit broken from it. On this day, the lessons feel like they are landing and will fully integrate perhaps in months or even a year. On this day, I do not even know where to find the words.

But yet, we begin.

I love you.

Can’t wait for you to follow along and see deeper into my heart and journey.

Stay tuned, and Happy 4th!!

Amanda