Greetings Friends,

I am returning from the Grasses, Trees and Great Earth Sesshin at Great Vow Zen Monastery. An outdoor sesshin I have had the deep pleasure of co-leading for the past six years. During the sesshin we practiced various ways of listening to the dharma of the natural world, including:

• Hearing with the eyes, heart, whole body.

• Letting ourselves be seen by the sky, ferns, rocks and queen ann’s lace.

• Becoming tree, black-berry, forest, ground.

The great earth and sky speak the dharma through their constancy, reminding us that we too belong to this world, that our presence is medicine, that we aren’t separate or alone.

Have you ever…(a poem)

Have you ever, sat down with a tree and said hello, as if greeting a friend?
And then listened to her story?
Have you ever gazed into the face of a flower,
with wonder and delight
and asked
how are you today?
Have you ever laid down on the earth, and kissed her dry grasses, or soggy soils
and let her touch you in 10k different ways?
Have you ever held open your heart to the sky, in astonishment
of their vastness
and let them fill you with their roaring absence?

Have you ever quieted your mind, and listened to the bird’s song
how it accompanies the wind
--as the grasses, leaves, flowers and trees
all add their music?

The natural world speaks
in a voice before human words
it is our native tongue
Listen
And you can almost remember
how to hear it

Another dharma theme that we explored during the sesshin was recognizing the contentment, pleasure and joy of meditation. This is a teaching that transformed the Buddha’s own path to liberation, and is such an important resource in our own practice. To know the satisfaction of not seeking satisfaction elsewhere.

Are you afraid of this happiness?

Lastly, I want to share the story of Senjo and her soul are separated, which is what we explore in this dharma talk. It is a Chinese folk-tale turned koan, that speaks to the sense of living a divided life and remembering home. The koan and it’s poem can be found below.

Once, in a village by a river, a girl and a boy, second cousins, grew up together as inseparable companions. They were so close that the girl’s father once joked that they seemed married already. Eventually, they did fall in love. However, the girl’s father announced that she was to marry a different man.

The girl, Senjo, and her sweetheart, Ochu, were devastated, and Ochu was so upset that he decided to take his boat and leave the village. Just as he began to sail down the river, he saw a shadowy figure standing on the riverbank. Senjo stepped into the boat and they escaped down river together.

Five years passed. They had two children and were very happy, except that from time to time Senjo would burst into tears because she missed her family. They decided to return, and when they arrived home, Ochu went up to Senjo’s house to ask forgiveness for leaving with her. Her father seemed surprised, and said, “What? From the day you left, Senjo has been upstairs lying on her bed, looking so sad, and she’s never said a word.”

Just then, Senjo from the boat arrived at the door, and suddenly the Senjo from upstairs appeared, smiling. The two Senjos looked at one another, smiled, and walked right into one another. Instantly, they became one.

So the question is: “Senjo and her soul are separated. Which is the true one?”

Mumon's Poem 

The moon above the clouds is ever the same
mountains and valleys are separate from each other
all is blessed, all is blessed
are they one, or two?

Have you ever felt like you were living two lives? What has helped you resolve this tension? What helps you return home?

Leave a comment

Weekly Online Meditation Event

Monday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. We are currently exploring the Identity of Relative and Absolute.

Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINK

In-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus Sangha

Weekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday

I’m back in Columbus for a while, and we have a lot happening. Check out our website for retreats, weekly meditations and other events.

I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha.

Greetings!

It’s Leo season (how is it the over 50% of people I know are Leos?) I have had the joy of some travel over the past month—Mud Lotus Sangha did our first weeklong sesshin at Saranam Retreat Center in WV, I saw Bob Dylan in concert in Cincinnati and spent a few days on the Atlantic shore immersed in Ocean Mudra Samadhi.

I’m back in Ohio for a couple of weeks and then I will be heading to Great Vow Zen Monastery for a jukai ceremony and our Grasses, Trees and the Great Earth Sesshin followed by a week of residency.

Today though I want to share a koan that has been a companion for these last few weeks. It’s Case 36 in the Hidden Lamp: The Old Woman, Joshu and the Tiger.

One thing I love about koans like this is that they speak the language of awakening, right in the everyday activities of life.

Imagine weeding in your garden, and someone came up to you and said. What would you do if you suddenly met a fierce tiger?

What would you do?

So Joshu is a seasoned Zen teacher, and this old woman is seasoned in the wisdom of life and may also be a Zen master.

What is Joshu doing? Who is this tiger?

Is he talking about her? About himself? Another teacher with insight? Tigers can refer to a zen adapt/teacher who is wise, fierce—dangerous for the ego.

He also could be testing her. How do you stand with yourself? How do you stand with this fierce wilderness we call life/the world/spiritual path?

He is also talking to us. How do you stand with the wild unknown?

Nothing in this world frightens me. She says. She may also be saying, you don’t frighten me. I don’t frighten me.

Here is someone seasoned in the wisdom of life, loss, change. She has lived through the death of loved ones, famines, wars, times of abundance. She has been child, maiden, mother, sister, friend, elder.

And yet, she says, nothing in the world frightens me. That’s a powerful statement for anyone.

Feel into that for a moment. Try it on. Say the words. Nothing in the world frightens me.

Could that be true for you? Where do the words come from when you say them? What happens?

Is there a place in you that is fearless? That doesn’t suppress fear, but also isn’t afraid of it? Or does the statement invoke fear, call forward the things that are unsettled in your heart?

This koan invites us to study the dharma gate of fear. To truly study fear means we also study liberation, compassion, the refuge of the dharma, and everything else that is connected to fear.

In my experience some fears are hidden, they arise in the moment—a living tiger comes (ever have an encounter with a wild animal?) or it comes in the form of diagnosis, job loss, stomach sickness. When fear arises we get to see its shape, and what else arises in its wake. Some fears arise in relationship to other emotions, some fears wake us up and connect us to what matters most, some leave us deeply present, some send us worrying or bring the body into a panic state.

Other fears are more front and center. They are in response to the life we are living now. Do you have fears that you are navigating in your life now? How does fear arise? Do they come as images? Well acquainted worries? Memories? Parts of yourself?

What happens in your body? What does fear feel like? Are other emotions present as well? How does the mind react to fear?

Rilke says it this way in letters to a young poet, “Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love.”

Dharma practice offers us supports in meeting fear. All the practices we have can be supports: mantra, breath, grounding in the senses, opening to spaciousness, feeling fear directly in the body.

Often when we stay with fear and try to get to know it we see that it too is made of sensations, thoughts, memories, feelings—that arise and pass. Sometimes compassion arises or we have insights about the nature of fear and what is it connected to. As we practice with fear, confidence develops that we can feel fear. That we don’t have to be afraid of it.

Tremendous inner power can come from this. Throughout spiritual traditions we see depictions of sages, buddhas, bodhisattvas, shamans, gods who have relationships with fierce animals, with tigers, lions, snakes, elephants.

When we are no longer afraid of our fear.

We can roar.

Nothing in the world can frighten you.

What is your experience practicing with fear? What practices support you in meeting the fears in your life?

Leave a comment

I had the opportunity to talk to Father John Gribowich (a friend/mentor from my high school days at Central Catholic, before either of us were priests) and David Plisky about my spiritual path, Zen Buddhist practice and its intersections with Catholicism in a episode entitled: Finding God in the Zendo , as part of their Religion to Reality podcast that is themed around listening and interfaith dialogue.

Weekly Online Meditation Event

Monday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. We are currently exploring the Hidden Lamp: Teaching from the Buddhist Women Ancestors

Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINK

In-Person in Oregon

Grasses, Trees and the Great Earth Sesshin— August 10 - 16 at Great Vow Zen Monastery

In-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus Sangha

Weekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday

Retreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website.

I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha.

Greetings Friends,

I have been reflecting on the art of living a life of attention and intention. This is an art form I have dedicated much of my life to, and one that continues to bear fruit as I continue to practice it.

What is the art of living?

How is attention an art?

Last night I was walking home with my partner from meditation, it was dusk. The fire flies had just started to flutter about, offering their pulsating flashes of illumination. The air was warm, a gentle breeze. We took the “longer” route, through residential roads where cone flowers, milk weed, bee balm, lilies and zinnia are brimming and blooming in hell strips and front yards. My body felt satisfied. My heart was full. Appreciation stirred in my cells. As the world darkened and the moon beamed brighter.

The art of attention opens us to the magic and mystery of this world we live in, this life that we inhabit. Without thinking about it, we experience a life-world-self that is interconnected, emergent, alive. The art of attention also allows us to actually experience our lives, to let things flow, change. To feel the processes that move through us, to notice when we are hooked into a limiting belief or narrative about ourselves and the world. To notice when we are shutting down a particular feeling or emotion.

the art of feeling our lives

This past Monday during our live online meditation group we read from the Hidden Lamp Case 23: Jiao-an’s Sand in the Eye. In it Jiao-an is told by her teacher Yuanwu, that she must, “erase all views” and then she “will finally be free.”

Jiao-an responds to this in a verse:

the pillar pulls out a bone sideways;
the void shows its claws and fangs;
even if one profoundly understands,
there is still sand in the eye.

In her commentary to the koan, Zenki Mary Mocine Roshi writes:

She goes on to share a memory about her early years of training at Tassajara where she did practice suppressing an emotion. She reflects:

I really appreciate how Zenki describes the emptiness of emotion, the tendency to suppress and how a certain hearing of the teachings/or experiences of emptiness or equanimity may lead us down the road to suppression.

Part of the art of attention is the art of recognizing and then familiarizing ourselves with the empty yet apparent nature of experience.

Sensations, thoughts, feelings, emotions, physical discomforts arise through the various causes and conditions that make-up our human life. We, as practitioners, as artists of the Way—can notice the composition of these sensations, feelings, thoughts and emotions.

This is the courageous act of feeling our embodied experience, allowing emotions to arise and experiencing our lives. While this may seem simple in written word form—truly it is an embodied art. For we, as humans have developed habits for managing our experience. We have learned that certain feeling states are “bad” or “wrong” or “dangerous”. And have developed skill in ignoring, suppressing or pushing certain emotions away.

On the other side there are feeling states, emotions, sensations, thoughts that we have deep habitual tendencies towards entertaining, getting identified with, and believing.

The practice of emptiness is the art of experiencing life as it is. To allow what is happening to happen. To trust that we can feel our lives.

I always love the analogy of experience being like weather, in that it is always moving through. Some feelings are stormy, some are bright, some emotions feel like layers of gray clouds, others like a light mist. Just like the sky allows the weather to pass through it—the sky of awareness allows the weather of emotion and feeling to move through us.

The sky’s spaciousness is unobstructed by the weather, the clarity and openness of awareness is unobstructed by the panic, grief, fear, pain that passes through us.

the many faces of suppression

Sometimes on the road to realizing emptiness, we practice suppression. This could be because we want to do it right or good. Because we think we shouldn’t be feeling certain things or because certain feelings are uncomfortable. Also, because we are trying not to indulge or get hooked by the story and we haven’t quite learned or don’t quite trust that we can feel it and it will liberate itself. Or maybe we have experience of parts of us doing or saying really painful unskillful things, and at present the tool we have for working with them is to suppress or push them down.

The art of attention is the art of noticing. As Zenki says in her commentary, we can begin to notice the tendency to suppress, the beliefs that surround this tendency and from there we can start to get curious about actually feeling the feeling itself.

Practice is a practice of self-study, of awareness. There is not a set method for feeling our lives. Sometimes the path to feeling is through self-compassion and loving kindness, sometimes through including them in the breath, sometimes opening to the space around them, sometimes as we courageously open to our direct experience the way opens up—something unexpected arises to meet us.

My experience is there are feelings I am not used to feeling and when they arise my mind can get really active about trying to figure out, fix or solve them.

Sadness came up a few weeks ago when a client’s story touched something personal that was similar enough to something happening in the collective. After I finished my sessions for the evening, I watched my mind bounce into anger, blame, and then search and search for a story, a reason I was feeling the way I was feeling. But as I let myself feel the feelings themselves—tears came, then compassion and peace.

Another more common way I experience this is I can get frustrated with certain people, and stay in the story of what they did or didn’t do. When I notice that I am doing this and let myself feel the feeling underneath I often discover that the feeling is really different then the story I am telling myself. I also find that through feeling the feelings, often clarity arises about how to respond in the relationship.

Do you have experiences of turning towards a feeling or emotion that you did’t want to feel? What happened?

What does suppression feel like, sound like or look like for you?

What practices support you in feeling difficult emotions or sensations?

Leave a comment

Weekly Online Meditation Event

Monday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. We are currently exploring the Hidden Lamp: Teaching from the Buddhist Women Ancestors

Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINK

In-Person in Oregon

Grasses, Trees and the Great Earth Sesshin— August 10 - 16 at Great Vow Zen Monastery

In-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus Sangha

Weekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday

Retreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website.

I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha.

Greetings Friends,

Happy Solstice! Here in the northern hemisphere it is the longest day of the year, one of two days of the year where the sun appears to stand still on the horizon. I feel interested in that teaching, here in what sometimes feels like the most active or busiest of seasons—what is stillness? where is stillness?

What does it look like to let your inner sun rest, or to recognize that it’s already still, shining brightly—no matter what.

This week’s koan from the Hidden Lamp is about big and small enlightenments. I’ll let you listen to the podcast for the case and reflection this time.

In celebration of the solstice, I would like to share a passage from Dogen Zenji’s Genjo Koan, sometimes translated as “the way of everyday life.” The Mud Lotus Sangha has been exploring this teaching over the course of the last month. Sitting with the different images and passages.

I invite you to spend sometime today in stillness. Take a moment to open your awareness to the entire moon, the entire sky. Remember that you are one dew drop among many, reflecting vastness. You can not hinder awakening, it is your nature.

As one teacher said, “so get used to it!”

As always, I would love to hear your reflections!

Leave a comment

Weekly Online Meditation Event

Monday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. We are currently exploring the Hidden Lamp: Teaching from the Buddhist Women Ancestors

Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINK

In-Person in Oregon

Grasses, Trees and the Great Earth Sesshin— August 10 - 16 at Great Vow Zen Monastery

In-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus Sangha

Weekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday

Retreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website.

Upcoming Sesshins at Saranam Retreat Center in West Virginia

Interdependence Sesshin June 29 - July 5 (Registration is now open!)

I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha.

Greetings Friends,

Happy New Moon! This past week we explored the Hidden Lamp Case 21: Linji Meets the Old Woman Driving the Ox.

I’m curious when you read this exchange is there a line or phrase that interests you, or that you have some sort of reaction to?

Feel free to share. What touches you, what are you curious about? What feels aversive? What questions come up for you? How is this exchange relevant for your life and practice?

Leave a comment

These koans are teaching stories. And often what stirs in us is our way into them.

If you are interested in hearing a little more about Master Linji and his origin story, as well as my comments on the koan, including being useless—listen to the audio recording.

The Soft Animal of the Body

I am always curious when animals show up in koans. In reflecting on this koan, I got interested in the Ox. The Ox is a symbol for our true nature in the Zen tradition. There are a series of images called the Ox-herding pictures that portray important elements on this path of practice-awakening. They depict the movement from searching for our nature, to having a glimpse, to training ourselves to recognize and abide here, to eventually seeing through ideas of self/true nature, and living fully as we are in service to all beings.

This week though, as I sat with the koan—a line from Mary Oliver’s poem Wild Geese came to heart, “let the soft animal of your body, love what it loves.”

This is such a deep invitation into presence. To feel our lives. To feel our bodies. To recognize the pleasure, the bliss of embodiment—right here, right now.

I can notice how my mind wants to come in and fantasize about the things my body might want or long for, but part of what I am interested in is how the body can only love what is. Our bodies are always in the present moment.

Our bodies speak the language of sensation, feeling, movement, texture, touch. Our bodies love through experiencing. Notice right now— what does your body love, in this moment?

To ask, we need to sink into to our embodied life. To feel the changes in air temperature, the movement of breath, the touch of clothing, the pulsing and flickering of sensation. To hear and see, to smell and taste—to open the senses. For this sense world is our embodied life.

When we let ourselves abide fully in our sense experience, we naturally open to the truth of interconnection. We feel ourselves as part of this great earth and in community with all, truly our lives are interpermeated—our bodies are the body of the entire world.

So this week, today, right now—sit like an ox, here in your own body—loving what you love. Be the animal walking all over the place, the beast that can’t be put to use!

Weekly Online Meditation Event

Monday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. We are currently exploring the Hidden Lamp: Teaching from the Buddhist Women Ancestors

Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINK

In-Person in Oregon

Grasses, Trees and the Great Earth Sesshin— August 10 - 16 at Great Vow Zen Monastery

In-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus Sangha

Weekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday

Retreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website.

Upcoming Sesshins at Saranam Retreat Center in West Virginia

Interdependence Sesshin June 29 - July 5 (Registration is now open!)

I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha.

Greetings Friends,

We are moving through this wonderful collection of encounters with Buddhist Women found in the book The Hidden Lamp for our Summer Read. This week we met Keizan Zenji and Mokufu Sonin engaged in the dialogue below:

These two people are very important figures in the history of Zen Buddhism. They are direct Ancestors in our Soto Zen lineage tree. So, they are our Ancestors.

What is an Ancestor?

One way we understand Ancestor in Buddhism is someone who aligns their heart and mind with the aspiration to awaken and liberate all beings from suffering. So, someone who wants to help us wake up!

But one Zen teacher says in actuality —all beings are your ancestor.

What would it be like to truly see the world this way?

Are all beings trying to awaken us?

Is everyone we meet helping us on this path of liberation from suffering?

Are they, through their words, thoughts and actions aiding us in opening our own hearts and minds to the love, compassion and wisdom of this universe?

It may not always feel that way. But we can aspire to practice as if it were true, this is taking the view of bodhicitta— the great compassion unfolding this life.

Connecting to the Zen Ancestors can remind us that humans have been walking this path of awakening for a long time. They were shaped by the path and they also shaped or opened new dimensions of the path through their embodied walking.

I find that hearing the ancestor’s stories is a lot like pulling a tarot card, or reading a myth or fairytale. Their life stories usually contain dharma teachings, universal themes about the path, but also personal dimensions that may resonate with our own struggles, questions, doubts, curiosities or lived experience.

Keizan’s Path

Keizan Zenji is a great example of this. Considered the “mother of Soto Zen”, he was born in the early years of Soto Zen in Japan, just eleven years after Dogen Zenji (the founder) died. His mother and his grandmother were both Zen practitioners, but also embodied and practiced a more ancient form of spirituality that was common amongst women at the time—a form of spirituality we might call “folk” or “shamanistic” or “animist”. (In her recent books, Bringing Zen Home and The Little Book of Zen Healing Paula Arai explores how the blend of Zen and shamanism is still alive in how many lay women engage in dharma practice).

Below is an excerpt from Sallie Tisdale’s book Women of the Way, here she shares the story of Keizan’s birth. This short selection introduces us to some of the people and practices that influenced Keizan throughout his life.

So Keizan was raised with a deep connection to both his mother and grandmother and to the Bodhisattva Kannon (who is the bodhisattva of compassion). He was brought up in an enchanted world, where kami (spirits) filled the natural world, where Buddha’s and Bodhisattva’s appeared in dreams, where even the mundane aspects of life were part of the art, the ritual of living in an interconnected world of mutual reciprocity. A world emerging from the great compassion of Kannon. Keizan also listened to the wisdom of his dreams, practiced Buddhist astrology and geomancy.

He was instrumental in creating and recording the ceremonies we have throughout the Buddhist liturgical year. His love for the ancestors, led him to gather the stories of the Zen Buddhist lineage dating back to Shakyamuni Buddha. Creating a mythological retelling of their lives, and giving teachings inspired by their stories. This collection of his dharma talks on the ancestors, is called the Denkuroku, the Transmission of the Light.

Here’s another selection from Women of the Way revealing some of the ways he practiced and saw the world, and how he carried his mother’s vow forward after she died.

Keizan and Sonin’s Dharma Friendship

One of the most remarkable aspects of Keizan, is that he really took this vow to heart.

Sonin was a patron, she donated the mountain where Keizan built Yokoji, one of the many monasteries he helped found, and the one where he spent most of his time. After Sonin’s husband died, she went to Keizan to ask for ordination. The night before Keizan had a dream that his beloved deceased grandmother came to him and asked for ordination. From this point on he regarded Sonin as a reincarnation of his grandmother, and the two were very close as teacher and student, and then as friends and collaborators. Keizan wrote that the two of them were like, “magnet and iron.”

Keizan wrote that Sonin’s aspiration for awakening “clarifies each day”, that “she radiates kindness” and that her “insight is ripening”, shortly before the dialogue above took place. He had asked her about, “temporal existence” and she was unable to answer. She let this question work on her. And sometime later asked Keizan to engage in dharma combat. That is when he asked her about the seasons changing from winter to spring.

Sonin’s understanding was clear, and she was able to meet Keizan in the place with neither light or shadow.

Sonin is the first woman in the Soto Zen lineage of Japan to receive full dharma transmission. Keizan gave transmission to two other women, Konto Ekyu and Myosho Ekan, before he died. (Keizan’s mother Ekan Daishi, Mokufu Sonin, Konto Ekyu and Myosho Ekan are all part of the Women’s Lineage found in the ZCO chant book, at the monastery we would chant their names as part of morning service twice a week.)

In closing, this short snapshot into the lives of Keizan and Sonin, I want to share another excerpt from the Women of the Way.

Sonin was the first living abbot there, although Ekan Daishi was considered the first ancestoral abbot. There is still a portrait of Ekan Daishi, Keizan’s mother and Sonin as the first abbots on the Yokoji temple property.

So, here is a story of the legacy of two Zen Ancestors. If you want to learn more, listen to the podcast where I also explore this short koan exchange and how we too are shadeless trees, in the midst of the changing seasons of our lives. If you are curious to learn more about Keizan and Sonin, there is this great resource here.

Is there are any aspects of Keizan and Sonin’s story that piqued your interest or felt resonate with your own life and practice?

Leave a comment

Hope to see you for one of our live online gatherings or in person for a retreat this summer!

Weekly Online Meditation Event

Monday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. We are currently exploring the Hidden Lamp: Teaching from the Buddhist Women Ancestors

Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINK

In-Person in Oregon

Grasses, Trees and the Great Earth Sesshin— August 10 - 16 at Great Vow Zen Monastery

In-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus Sangha

Weekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday

Retreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website.

Upcoming Sesshins at Saranam Retreat Center in West Virginia

Interdependence Sesshin June 29 - July 5 (Registration is now open!)

I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha.

We are continuing our Summer Read of the Hidden Lamp again this year. Every week we will explore a different koan story from the collection. If you would like to follow along, check out the calendar page for up to date information on the koan selections. On Monday night during the live online meditation event, I will give a dharma talk themed around the reading for the week and then we will have time for discussion. I will post the talk here too.

This past Monday we started the Summer Read with Case 19 from the Hidden Lamp: The Flower Hall on the Buddha’s Birthday.

The Buddha’s birthday, also called Hanna Matsuri or the flower festival, usually takes place when the flowers of Spring are in full bloom. In the ceremony we decorate a flower bower with fresh flowers (in Oregon we would do this on Mother’s Day and the rhododendron’s were often a main feature). The baby buddha is placed in the center of the flower bower, in a bowl of sweet tea. During the ceremony each participant is invited up to the altar to bathe the baby buddha, while we chant a simple mantra together.

To me this ceremony feels ancient. I imagine it is an evolution of a much older ceremony celebrating mid-spring, the abundance of new life, flowers and perhaps the Great Mother.

For the story of the Buddha’s birth starts with Maha Maya, the Buddha’s mother. It starts with Maha Maya’s great dream, reminding us that this very life, this very moment is sourced from the great mystery and is dream-like in its nature.

As many of you know, I could dwell on this theme of dream and the Great Mother for a long time. But today, I want to highlight another aspect of this koan—the quality of care.

We meet Yodo and the nuns of Tokeiji decorating the buddha hall. Taking great care to make a beautiful and elaborate offering of flowers.

Flowers which will start to whither and die as the ceremony ends. Flowers that speak the language of beauty and innocence, of desire and abundance, of the purity of our buddha-nature.

The activity that the nuns are engaged in is the activity of their life.

We often wonder how to bring our meditation practice off of the cushion into our daily lives.

Here the nuns demonstrate this—with care—they say through their actions.

Care is how love is expressed.

Care involves attending, meeting the moment.

Care awakens appreciation.

Through our care, our life becomes an offering, a gift. And we are the recipients as well as the ones making the offering.

In monastic life we have ceremonies and activities that give form to the expression of care. From the way we place our shoes on the shoe rack, to choosing the serving dishes for a meal to making flower arrangements for the altars, we have these opportunities to express love through our actions.

I was never formally trained in the art of Ikebana, flower arranging. But I did learn some basics over the years, two of which stick with me and can be applied to so many areas of life in exploring care and beauty.

The first is that space is just as important as the physical elements of the flower arrangement. So as you choose your vessel, and begin to arrange the flowers you also consider the space between the flowers, leaves and branches. In flower arranging the space is alive.

The second principle is that you appreciate how the different elements grow in nature and accentuate them. You recognize that you are also an active participant in creation, so you listen to how the elements are in relationship to each other and respond.

I find these two principles invite care, attention, love, appreciation and open me up to seeing the beauty in life itself. What if we moved through our days with an awareness of the space that surrounds us, with an appreciation that we are in relationship with everything we encounter. That it is our life.

Listen to the dharma talk for more explorations of this koan in relationship to care, nurturing the heart and seeing our buddha nature. And as always you are invited to take this story and practice into your life. This week notice beauty, practice appreciating your life, see your life as an offering, a gift. What happens when you do?

Leave a comment

Awakening happens in relationship. Hope to see you in-person or on zoom sometime soon. Starting this coming Monday, we will return to studying the teaching stories of the women ancestors found in The Hidden Lamp.

Weekly Online Meditation Event

Monday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. We are currently exploring the Hidden Lamp: Teaching from the Buddhist Women Ancestors

Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINK

In-Person in Oregon

Grasses, Trees and the Great Earth Sesshin— August 10 - 16 at Great Vow Zen Monastery

In-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus Sangha

Weekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday

Retreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website.

Upcoming Sesshins at Saranam Retreat Center in West Virginia

Interdependence Sesshin June 29 - July 5 (Registration is now open!)

I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha.

Below is the reading schedule. Feel free to drop-in, read along, and/or join in the discussion. I will offer a short dharma talk on the chosen story each week.

The Zoom Link is the same for the Monday Night Dharma through the Zen Community of Oregon. Practice starts at 6P PT with zazen, dharma talk at 6:45P PT.

https://us06web.zoom.us/j/82254519073

Greetings Friends,

I am returning from the Light of the Ancestors Sesshin at Great Vow Zen Monastery and feeling deep gratitude for this path of practice and all the people who have walked this path— discovering freedom and love in their own lives.

Over the past few months the Monday night online Sangha through ZCO has been exploring The Mountains and Rivers Sutra by Dogen Zenji. In wrapping up our study of the sutra, we explored the last two stanzas from the version of the sutra that is often chanted in ZCO.

When Dogen Zenji refers to mountains, he is inviting us to observe and contemplate actual mountains, to recognize and reflect on the constancy, stillness, presence and teachings of the mountains in the natural world and he is also inviting us to observe and contemplate our true nature. You can try reading the above paragraph substituting the words “true nature”, “the Way”, “awakening/enlightenment” or “practice-realization” for mountains.

What opens up as you reflect on these different readings of the teaching of this sutra?

How does the Way or practice-realization belong to those who love it?

What is your experience of your life being the great activity of awakening?

Leave a comment

During the Light of the Ancestors sesshin, my co-teacher Bansho, Sensei referenced a koan from the Zen school, where a person is taking leave of the monastery and is asked by the teacher, “Where are you going?” The student replies, “around on pilgrimage.” The teacher then asks, “what is the purpose of pilgrimage?” The student replies, “I don’t know.” The teacher responds, “Not-knowing is nearness.”

We might also say, “not-knowing is love.”

In a world where we are taught to fear the unknown, to always have a plan or purpose—what would it be like, instead, to see not-knowing as an invitation to love? To meet the unknown with curiosity? To be intimate with the mystery?

On this path of practice-awakening we are constantly being invited to love. To recognize that we are loved, to recognize that we belong to this life.

Not-knowing makes us fetch-able, the way rises up and meets us, catches us in the openness of our curiosity. We become mountain, we become river just as mountains and rivers become us.

Listen to the Dharma Talk for a more in-depth exploration of these last paragraphs from the Mountains and Rivers Sutra, and for reflections on coming home to ourselves, not-knowing, love and belonging on the path.

Awakening happens in relationship. Hope to see you in-person or on zoom sometime soon. Starting this coming Monday, we will return to studying the teaching stories of the women ancestors found in The Hidden Lamp.

Weekly Online Meditation Event

Monday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. We are currently exploring the Hidden Lamp: Teaching from the Buddhist Women Ancestors

Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINK

In-Person in Oregon

Grasses, Trees and the Great Earth Sesshin— August 10 - 16 at Great Vow Zen Monastery

In-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus Sangha

Weekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday

Retreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website.

Upcoming Sesshins at Saranam Retreat Center in West Virginia

Interdependence Sesshin June 29 - July 5 (Registration is now open!)

I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha.

Greetings Friends,

I’m a lover of poetry. A sometimes writer of poems. A sometimes reader. Poetry for me is more of a way of being, a willingness to be carried across by metaphor, to be turned inside out by image, to sit in the silence, to not know and to be transformed through the art of attention.

The best poetry is wordless attention.

And, also. Some poems really act as an arrow, straight to the heart of it and allow what is often inexpressible—a moment of shared recognition.

April was national poetry month, and one of the ways I celebrated was to reflect on poetry in the buddhist and zen tradition. I looked at the different kinds of poetry and its function. In doing so, I recognized four functions of poetry: enlightenment poems, death poems, capping phrases and poems of intimacy with what is.

Listen to the talk for more exploration of these four functions, with examples from some of my favorite poems from the tradition. Below are a few favorites for your reading pleasure.

Dongshan’s Enlightenment Poem

Long seeking it from others,
I was far from reaching it.
Now I go by myself,
and I find it everywhere.
It is just I myself,
but I am not itself.
Understanding in this way,
I can be as I am.

Ikkyu’s Death Poem

I won’t die. 
I won’t go anywhere. 
I’ll be here. 
But don’t ask me anything. 
I won’t answer.

Mitta’s Enlightenment Poem (From the translation/interpretation the first free women)

Full of trust you left home,
and soon learned to walk the Path—
making yourself a friend to everyone
and making everyone a friend.

When the whole world is your friend,
fear will find no place to call home.

And when you make the mind your friend,
you’ll know what trust
really means.

Listen.

I have followed this Path of friendship to its end.

And I can say with absolute certainty—
it will lead you home.

On this spiritual path, poetry has been an inspiration for me. Not just the poetry of the ancestors, but so many other poems have graced me with their invitations to wonder and open to a world that is alive, and inviting. Do you have a poem that has inspired or transformed you? Do you have a poem you keep coming back to? Feel free to share it here.

Leave a comment

Weekly Online Meditation Event

Monday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. We are currently exploring the Mountains and Waters Sutra by Dogen Zenji.

Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINK

In-Person in Oregon

Light of the Ancestors Sesshin—May 11 - 17 at Great Vow Zen Monastery

Grasses, Trees and the Great Earth Sesshin— August 10 - 16 at Great Vow Zen Monastery

In-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus Sangha

Weekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday

Retreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website.

Upcoming Sesshins at Saranam Retreat Center in West Virginia

Interdependence Sesshin June 29 - July 5 (Registration is now open!)

I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha.

One of the figures that we encounter in the Zen literature is the stone woman. In the Precious Mirror Samadhi we find her dancing, in another story she calls us back from our dream of the world.

In the study of the Mountains and Rivers Sutra, she shows up early on when Dogen quotes Furong Daokai. “The green mountains are always moving, a stone woman gives birth to a child at night.” He then comments on the stone woman, saying:

So, who is this stone woman? Have you met her? Have you taken the time to hear the stories of the mountains, the stars, the river rocks, the stones you encounter on your walk? What is their experience of night? Of birth? Of silence, life, time and human?

The Stone Woman Speaks

There are stories told throughout the world, throughout time about the lives of mountains, stones, trees and the natural world. Stories of how the mountains were made. How the world was made, stories of creation. There are even stories of women being turned to stone.

When I was living in the Pacific Northwest, I learned some of the creation myths of the indigenous people who live in the region. In the telling, the local mountains have a prominent role.

The Chinook tell of Thunderbird laying eggs on top of Saddle Mountain, which an ogress will then throw down the Mountain, peopling the area.

The Klickitat story involves the formation of Wy’east (Mt. Hood), Pahto (Mt. Adams) and Loo-wit (Mt. St. Helen’s). In this story Loo-wit is a beautiful woman, who once guarded the first fire for the Great Spirit. Wy’east and Pahto were brother warriors who both fell in love with Loo-wit, and started fighting over her by spitting fireballs over the land. Eventually Great Spirit turned them into stone, mountain-volcanoes—banishing the Stone Woman Loo-wit up to the northern regions.

Do you know some of the stories about the mountains, rivers or landforms in your area? Or ones you have visited? Have you ever listened to or heard the story of a tree, rock, flower, river or some other being in the natural world?

Leave a comment

During the Grasses and Trees Sesshin at Great Vow Zen Monastery on the fourth full-day of the retreat we often invite participants to have sanzen with a being in the natural world. Sanzen, which means sitting zen together, is what we call the 1:1 practice meetings in Zen. We are invited to meet a blade of grass, a pond, a noble fire, sky with an open mind, a question, a willingness to listen and learn from. Often people come back with a story of transmission. Something happened in the encounter, often part of the practice involves a willingness to listen to the silence—for the natural world often doesn’t speak in human language.

Mysterious Transmissions

This image of the stone woman is also pointing to prajna paramita, the mother of all buddhas, wisdom beyond wisdom. To encounter the stone woman, is to meet the night, the darkness of not-knowing, the pure potential energy that we are—the great mystery. We are invited into the dark-unknowing, the womb of pure potential—where we become one with the wisdom of the ancestors, where we are born anew.

For more explorations of the stone woman giving birth at night, listen to the dharma talk. I would love to hear any reflections that you have.

Leave a comment

It’s poetry month, and I am also exploring encounters with the stone woman through poetry.

The Stone Woman Speaks(a poem)

the stone woman
lives in the foundation of my house
but also, in the potholed alley
the river bed
& on the rock face of the glen.

she who was
—before—
people, animal, name.

she who will be here
—after—

we are no longer.

she speaks in
cool, smooth 
ancient sounds

the kind
that turn you around

and let you hear
the voice 
of your own

—inner silence.

Weekly Online Meditation Event

Monday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. We are currently exploring the Mountains and Waters Sutra by Dogen Zenji.

Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINK

In-Person in Oregon

Light of the Ancestors Sesshin—May 11 - 17 at Great Vow Zen Monastery

Grasses, Trees and the Great Earth Sesshin— August 10 - 16 at Great Vow Zen Monastery

In-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus Sangha

Weekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday

Retreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website.

Upcoming Sesshins at Saranam Retreat Center in West Virginia

Interdependence Sesshin June 29 - July 5 (Registration is now open!)

I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha.

Greetings Friends,

Happy April Fool’s Day!

Last week I had the opportunity to co-facilitate a Zen sesshin in the mountains of West Virginia at Saranam Retreat Center.

Sesshin, a zen-style silent meditation retreat which translates as touching the heart-mind, has been a huge part of my adult life. While living at Great Vow Zen Monastery, I practiced sesshin together in sangha for a week every month. Such is the rhythm of monastic life we enter this cauldron of awakening together and let our hearts and minds simplify to reveal their true nature.

Preparing for sesshin has a feeling of preparing for death— for opening to oneness is not the ego’s domain.

Sesshin is grounded in the aspiration to awaken with all beings. An impossible vow that truly we are entangled in, this springing forth of great love is actualized through our practice—realized in this heart.

For the dharma teachings are not just “good ideas” but insights we can come to know in our bones, as our body-mind.

There is something utterly incomprehensible about sitting together in silence and allowing ourselves to be touched by the great mystery.

To return from sesshin is impossible, and yet—here we are.

Back from the dead, changed, transformed. Heart’s silent presence alive in our inter-relations. Vow awakened and lived into here-and-now.

This is compassion!

During sesshin we practiced with Dogen Zenji’s Mountains and Waters Sutra. Which I have been giving dharma talks on over the last few weeks, during the online Monday Night Dharma. This week we explored the practice of circling back to study ourselves. In the Mountains and Waters Sutra, Dogen says:

We encounter circles throughout this path of practice. As I said above, I circle back to sesshin regularly. Many of you have the experience of circling back to this practice of zazen-meditation. The study of the mountains and rivers sutra is a circling back to a teaching I have practiced with for over a decade. What do you find yourself circling back to in your practice-life? As we enter the season of Spring, what is beginning again for you? How are you circling back to yourself?

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This circling back to study ourselves is one of the core instructions for zazen practice—to recognize our original self, the unborn buddha mind. Listen to the Dharma talk for more explorations of this teaching in the Mountains and Rivers Sutra. I reference the chant-able version of the Mountains and Waters Sutra which you can find here.

Below is a poem inspired by the practice of circling.

Mountains Circling Back to Realize Themselves

Circle back study yourself
Who are you?
What hears?
Who is breathing this breath?
What feels the heart beating, the touch of clothing, longing, aspiration?

Circle back and listen to yourself
What is your heart’s song?
Do you know the compassion that you are?
Are you in touch with this aspiration to awaken, to liberate all beings?
What is the shape of your vow?
What is the size of your heart?

Can you see that it truly includes the entire world?

Circle back and be yourself
See that you too are mountain, and flowing
You were never born, you will not die

Circle back and love yourself
For you are dying, too
Wonder at this Self
This miracle that you are
Let yourself be amazed
By this life you live
Appreciate the challenges, the joys, all the happenings
That make you — you

Circle back, greet yourself
For you are ancestor
Parent, protector, caregiver, teacher, friend, guide
To this earth, your family, community, all beings
And you are also child
A student of life, learning, being guided, protected
Cared for by this earth, and all your inter-relations

Circle back and meet yourself
As you are born, from the stone woman
From the dark
Even as you age
You are new
Like spring
Like a flower budding

Circle back home to yourself
Rest
In the vast openness
Of your original
Heart-mind
Always right here

Becoming Circle 

What must relax in you
To become a circle?

What assumptions made about
who we are and why we are here
Must dissolve

So that feet can walk back towards head
as ground rises up
To meet the sky

We who once stood erect in the middle
Like pillar or tree
Like mountain

Now find ourselves
Turning inside-out
Walking backward as
we move forward

Being planet
Or globe
Flower
Or mandala
Or something else entirely

Weekly Online Meditation Event

Monday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. We are currently exploring the Mountains and Waters Sutra by Dogen Zenji.

Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINK

In-Person in Oregon

Light of the Ancestors Sesshin—May 11 - 17 at Great Vow Zen Monastery

Grasses, Trees and the Great Earth Sesshin— August 10 - 16 at Great Vow Zen Monastery

In-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus Sangha

Weekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday

Retreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website.

Upcoming Sesshins at Saranam Retreat Center in West Virginia

Interdependence Sesshin June 29 - July 5 (Registration is now open!)

I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha.

I will be joining the Mud Lotus Sangha in West Virginia for our first sesshin of the year. Sesshin is now often translated as a Zen-style meditation retreat. But the words meditation and retreat are mis-leading. It is in its truest sense a practice of recognizing our true nature, of touching, encountering the heart-mind that abides everywhere.

We are going to the mountains of West Virginia to practice. Stepping back into Mountain time to learn from the mountains, waters and great earth. To be students to the world before thought, which continues to blossom in the midst of all our human-made problems.

Preparing for sesshin is like preparing for death.

It is preparing for the unknown, for encountering the mystery.

It is a practice and path of discovering who and what we are when we aren’t engaging constantly in the impulses and desires of modern life—with its near endless supply of surface level distractions and pleasures—that often keep us from encountering the deep questions and true satisfaction of our being.

During sesshin we will be exploring the Mountains and Waters Sutra by Dogen Zenji. And we are also taking up this sutra on Monday nights, as part of the Monday Night Dharma teaching offered weekly on zoom (more info below).

It is a beautiful teaching that scholars, ecologists, practitioners, artists, mystics, activists, poets have turned to over the centuries for inspiration on this path of being human, of living awake to our deep interconnection with all beings.

So for the next couple months, we will be walking in the mountains together. We will be journeying in Mountain Time, studying the teachings of mountains and waters and how they are relevant in our own lives as modern, urban, technological beings.

One of my questions is, can the teachings of mountains and waters, the teachings in this sutra and other teachings we find throughout buddhism about mountains—can they meet us in this current moment? Can they meet us here in what feels apocalyptic? What do the mountains and waters have to teach us about hope/fear, gain/loss, life/death, awakening/delusion, joy, compassion, equanimity, freedom and how to live together on this earth or even in this cosmos?

The first line of the sutra says:

Pay attention to the mountains and waters, they are teaching us, they are the expression of the awakened ones, they are the way!

People throughout cultures and traditions regard the mountains as sacred, regard the natural world as sacred— as teachers, as expressions-embodiments of our true nature.

Mountains are mythic and evoke the spirit. They are often personified as spirit beings, praised, worshiped and prayed to. Many mountains are pilgrimage sites, temples were built on them, ceremonies are conducted on them. To live on the mountains, is to live with the mountains, to simplify—to be humbled and vulnerable in the mountains presence.

To take up mountains and waters as sutra, is to encounter this ancient way of being, is to connect with our ancestors, is to connect with the Earth as ancestor and realize our deep inter-being with all of life.

Are we willing to humble ourselves before the mountains and waters?

Are we willing to hear their teachings?

What kind of listening is required—to encounter earth as ancestor, lover, friend, mother, as the way, the path, true nature itself?

Are we willing to abide in mountain time, to open to the deep time, presence and pace of mountains?

Can we do this as modern people? Is this teaching relevant to us as people who are intertwined with technology and the creature comforts of urban life? What might we have to change, give-up, surrender or open to? Is it possible to study the sutra of mountains and rivers, right here—in our daily lives?

Throughout the study and practice of reading this sutra, contemplating it and putting it into practice—we will encounter these questions and more. We will get to experience a new appreciation for what the mountains and waters are, how they are teachers, buddhas, and the way.

The first paragraph of the sutra says:

And I will leave it there for today. Listen to the podcast episode for more and join us tomorrow as we dive deeper into the sutra and the practice of mountain-walking. Feel free to share any comments or thoughts below!

Leave a comment

Weekly Online Meditation Event

Monday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. We are currently exploring the Mountains and Waters Sutra by Dogen Zenji.

Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINK

In-Person in Oregon

Light of the Ancestors Sesshin—May 11 - 17 at Great Vow Zen Monastery

Grasses, Trees and the Great Earth—

In-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus Sangha

Weekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday

Retreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website.

Upcoming Sesshins at Saranam Retreat Center in West Virginia

Mountains and Rivers Sesshin March 18 - 22 (Registration is now open!)

Mountains are high and wide. The movement of clouds and the inconceivable power of soaring in the wind comes freely from the mountains. —Dogen Zenji, Mountains and Waters Sutra

During this silent, Zen-style retreat we will practice with the mountains and waters, opening to our own mountain-stability and the flowing nature of all experience.

Meditation provides the opportunity for intimacy with self and world, recognizing the interconnectedness of this very life. Healing and transformation happen as we abide in the mystery of who we truly are.

This will be a silent meditation retreat. After an initial meal, set-up and orientation we will enter noble silence. Supporting each other in connecting with our own inner silence, stability and confidence. We will follow a rigorous daily schedule which includes roughly seven hours of seated meditation, interspersed with periods of walking meditation, chanting practice, dharma talks, opportunities to check-in with one of the practice leaders, outdoor meditation sessions, mindful eating practice during meals, a late morning care-taking practice and breaks where participants have the opportunity to rest, exercise and explore the beautiful grounds and nature.

Interdependence Sesshin June 29 - July 5 (save the date, registration opens soon!)

I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha.

Greetings Friends,

This past weekend I had the opportunity to join the Pause Meditation community for a deep dive into practice around the theme of the beginner’s mind. In the Zen tradition we celebrate the beginner’s mind. For it is both the unborn buddha mind— our original mind which is always right here and our curious, open mind that is constantly being born anew.

So very much like the energy of spring, life is constantly bubbling up, recreating itself, blossoming in our awareness.

This podcast episode is a recording of the talk I gave about the Beginner’s Mind to the Pause Meditation Community and below is a guided meditation on recognizing the unborn buddha mind, the mind at home in itself.

Also, in celebration and praise of the one who is always being born (tomorrow is my birthday) and to the unborn buddha mind in us all—I wanted to share a fairy tale I wrote.

Fairy tales, folklore, myths and stories have been with us throughout human history. I find that they invite us into the mystery, as they attempt to story and image that which we can’t explain. They can leave us open to a world ensouled and to the inexplicable nature of reality.

I’ve always appreciated that two folktales are included in the Mumonkan, one of the more popular collections of Zen koans and teaching stories. Like koans and dreams, fairytales invite us to consider all the characters, animals and landscape as our mind, as the various manifestations of one psyche.

Happy Birthday, may you enjoy this tale and the great dream of this life!

Also, starting tonight during the Monday Night Dharma practice we will be exploring the Mountains and Rivers Sutra by Dogen Zenji. I have some curiosity about practicing with this sutra during this seemingly apocalyptic time on the planet. How can the teachings of Mountains and Rivers and the unborn Buddha Mind meet us in this moment? What happens when we bring all our doubts, fears, confusions, grief, longings, etc. to this sutra & to our practice?

the girl, the magician and the great tree (a fairy tale)

Once upon a time there was a forest and in that forest there was a girl. The girl loved the forest and the forest loved the girl. By day the sun shone brightly, and she herself was radiant, she paraded with the panthers and lounged with the lions. At night the stars became her blanket and she dreamed vivid colorful dreams. She always felt safe and protected in her forest home.

Time passed and the girl grew older. Her body started to change and with that change the forest seemed to change too. Parts of the forest grew dark. She often heard strange sounds, bad sounds, sounds that no being should ever hear—coming from those shadows.

The girl started to feel fear and spent more time by herself. One misty morning as the girl was walking alone, a magician appeared from the shadows and greeted her. He told her he was on a journey to find the Great Tree, as he was hoping to make a prayer so that he may gather its fruit as medicine for his ailing mother, who was sick at home with night terrors.

The girl once knew the Great Tree well. It was the place in the forest she first called home. Its bark was like the ocean, its roots ran through the entire forest and its fruit was splendid, every imaginable food and medicine grew from its branches. She and the animals would eat its fruit, and take its medicine whenever they were sick or injured. The Great Tree always provided them with all they could ever need.

She wanted to help the boy find the Tree she loved so much. But she couldn’t remember where it was. Every path once led to the Great Tree, but now they all seemed to end in the shadows. Suddenly it hit her that she didn’t know where she was. She honestly couldn’t remember the last time she had been to the Great Tree.

Instinctively, she reached into her pocket to touch the two golden seeds she kept there. Instead of providing comfort and clarity, as they usually did, she fell into a deep sleep. The magician took the golden seeds from her hands and immediately knew the way to the Great Tree.

When the girl finally awoke she realized her golden seeds were gone. These were all she had from the Great Tree. It was like her whole life was being stolen from her, and she was left in the darkest of dark places.

Then, a raven appeared and lifted the girl up by her shoulders, flying her deeper into the dark. Before the girl knew what was happening the raven cawed three times and released her. There she was face to face with an opening door and a huntsman.

“You knocked?” Said the huntsman. “Well I did, and I didn’t” responded the girl.

The huntsman liked this answer and he invited her to come in, as he was just about to fix his morning coffee and toast, and thought she might like to join him.

As she entered the abode she caught her breath. The house was decorated exclusively with the skin and fur from bears. She had never been in the company of someone who hunted. She had heard about them from the stories the animals would tell her—back when the animals could talk, and she could understand them.

She was afraid and started to talk, “I don’t know why I am here or even where I am. I was walking in the forest and I met this strange man. He was looking for the Great Tree. A place I used to know, that used to be my home but, I don’t know where it is anymore. I used to eat from it and use its fruit to heal the animals. Now the forest is dark and I feel confused and afraid all the time,” she blurted out.

The huntsman’s face showed both care and concern. “You don’t know who you are, do you?” said the huntsman. And gave out a little chuckle, which eased the girl.

“Should I? No one has ever asked me who I am.” “Ah, yes. We all have names.” said the huntsman. “For example, I am called Beir. I speak the language of the bear, they are part of my family and let me take their life so that my people can eat. The bears have been sick recently, something is out of balance. I think you might be able to help me.” Beir said.

He went upstairs and came back with a bow and a silver arrow. “This is for you,” he said to the girl. “I want you to carry this. I suspect when you discover who you are, you are going to need this. This silver arrow, when used with Integrity, has the power to bring your Great Tree back to life and restore balance to the forest.”

The girl doesn’t understand, but there is something about the care in his eyes, the confidence in his voice and his own courage that allows her to accept the bow with the silver arrow. They sit together in silence drinking coffee and eating toast with huckleberry jam. When suddenly they hear the howl of a wolf from very close by. Beir stands and opens the door letting in a gust of wind that blows into the house and lifts the girl out of her seat and into the cold, dark forest again.

“I thought it was morning,” the girl thinks as she tries to pull herself up and orient to where she is now. But before she can, the wolf races by and throws her up on his back and races through the shadowy maze of paths. The wolf howls three times, places her down on the forest floor and speeds off. She looks up to a door opening, and two snakes slithering up the arms of an old woman.

“You rang?” Says the old snake woman, her silver hair gleaming in the moonlight. “I did and I didn’t.” Says the girl again, surprised that it is already night time. “Well, well you must come in then,” says the woman smiling. “You’ve already met Lok and Ki,” she says with a soft cackle.

The cottage is dark aside from these blue-white spheres that seem to self-illuminate on the walls. They look like mirrors but when the girl stands in front of them, she doesn’t see her own reflection. “Ah, child, you don’t know who you are,” the woman says, kindly. “Why is everyone saying this to me today?” the girl replies slightly annoyed but also curious.

“The mirrors reflect what we fear, until we can truly rest in our nature. You seem to have lost yourself. And you’re afraid you won’t be found.” The girl wants to ask if she is findable. But she feels embarrassed and a little confused by this whole thing. She likes the woman though, she likes how strange and direct she is. How she feels like the river and the open sky—refreshing, clear and free simultaneously.

“Do you have a name?” the girl asks. “I am called snake woman by some, witch by others, but those close to me call me Crystalanne.” The girl feels like she knows things, things that have not yet happened but will happen…

“I’m making some mugwort tea, come drink with me and I will fix you a place to sleep. I have a sense that you need to have a dream while you are here.” As the girl sips her tea, Crystalanne tells her stories about the many lives she has lived.

That night the girl does dream. She dreams of the Great Tree and of the forest she once knew. In the dream the Great Tree is sick. Someone has cast a spell on it, something dark has entered its roots and turned its abundant medicine to poison. The animals are sick and tired, and the sun has stopped shining in the forest.

The girl wakes up and tells Crystalanne the dream. Crystalanne listens attentively. She nods, but does not seem distressed. “Ah, yes. This is what you needed to see,” Crystalanne says after some time. “Are you ready to return to your tree and heal the forest?” “Me?” the girl asks, “I am not a hero, I don’t know how to heal the forest.” “Oh, but you do, dear.” Crystalanne says, “So you must. Time is running out.”

Crystalanne goes into another room and comes out with a locket. “When the time comes, open this and you will see your true self.” She says as she hands the girl the locket. Then she goes over to the door, cracks it a bit and a mighty wind sweeps in and blows the girl out of the cottage. She tumbles in the air before landing on the body of a giant white and blue viper. She clutches her bow with the silver arrow in one hand and her locket in another. “I want to know who I am,” she says aloud.

Just then the viper vanishes and the girl lands standing on the darkening roots of the Great Tree. The magician is already there. “What are you doing to the Great Tree? The forest is sick, I thought you wanted to help heal your mother.” The girl asserts. “My mother is ill. This whole world is her nightmare now and I want everyone to experience it,” laughs the magician.

“I can’t let you do that.” The girl says, remembering what Beir said about Integrity. “This is my home, this Great Tree gives life to the entire forest and all the animals—I have come to stop you.” She takes her bow and silver arrow and aiming right at the boy’s chest, she shoots. The arrow speeds from the bow, faster than light and pierces the boy’s heart. He falls to the ground releasing the golden seeds.

The girl collects the seeds and begins to pray. She prays for the forest, for the Great Tree, she prays for the boy and his sick mother, she prays for all of the animals. Her prayers get stronger, as if light were being emitted from her mouth.

And, slowly the oceanic blue can be seen flowing through the Great Tree’s bark, and the sun’s radiance begins to shine on the forest again. Before long the abundant fruit is growing on the Great Tree’s branches and the animals return to eat and heal.

“This is me. This is who I am. I am the forest and I am a healer. My name is Amala.” The girl roars in a new voice—stronger than the one she used before. As she speaks she feels the locket pulse and something stirs from behind her.

The boy rises. He winks at her. “And I am Bhatt. I am a great magician who had a spell cast over me by my mother. Your silver arrow freed me from the spell. And allowed my mother to finally rest in peace. Thank you, I am forever grateful to you.”

Amala knows that Bhatt would be her human love. She felt clear that he was her equal and that they had much to learn from each other. With this knowing her locket pulsed again. This time she holds it in her hand and opens it. Peering inside she sees the the raven, the grizzly bear, Bier, the wolf, Lok and Ki, Crystalanne and the giant white viper, she sees the Great Tree with its oceanic bark, the radiant forest, all of the animals and the dark mystery of the cosmos, and then there is her face full of joy connected to the entire forest.

“This is who I am,” she says. “And it’s good, all good.”

The light and the dark, the sickness and the medicine, the joy and the sorrow. It’s all good.

Weekly Online Meditation Event

Monday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. We are currently exploring the Mountains and Waters Sutra by Dogen Zenji.

Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINK

In-Person in Oregon

Light of the Ancestors Sesshin—May 11 - 17 at Great Vow Zen Monastery

Grasses, Trees and the Great Earth—

In-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus Sangha

Weekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday

Retreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website.

Upcoming Sesshins at Saranam Retreat Center in West Virginia

Mountains and Rivers Sesshin March 18 - 22 (Registration is now open!)

Mountains are high and wide. The movement of clouds and the inconceivable power of soaring in the wind comes freely from the mountains. —Dogen Zenji, Mountains and Waters Sutra

During this silent, Zen-style retreat we will practice with the mountains and waters, opening to our own mountain-stability and the flowing nature of all experience.

Meditation provides the opportunity for intimacy with self and world, recognizing the interconnectedness of this very life. Healing and transformation happen as we abide in the mystery of who we truly are.

This will be a silent meditation retreat. After an initial meal, set-up and orientation we will enter noble silence. Supporting each other in connecting with our own inner silence, stability and confidence. We will follow a rigorous daily schedule which includes roughly seven hours of seated meditation, interspersed with periods of walking meditation, chanting practice, dharma talks, opportunities to check-in with one of the practice leaders, outdoor meditation sessions, mindful eating practice during meals, a late morning care-taking practice and breaks where participants have the opportunity to rest, exercise and explore the beautiful grounds and nature.

Interdependence Sesshin June 29 - July 5 (save the date, registration opens soon!)

I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha.

I wanted to share with you a profound, beautiful and somewhat unsettling teaching from the Diamond Sutra.

I would say its unsettling precisely because it is so radical, it touches something true that we know at the core of who we are, and it also reminds us that everything we think we are or think the world is —is not the whole story, our thinking inevitably misses something.

we are inconceivable in our nature

—and we all have, the same bright, clear, open, ungraspable heart-mind.

here’s the verse from the diamond sutra, may you practice its profundity and dwell in the mystery of being.

listen to the podcast for a deeper exploration of the teachings from the diamond sutra.

until next time,

kisei

Weekly Online Meditation Event

Monday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. We are currently exploring the Mountains and Waters Sutra by Dogen Zenji.

Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINK

Online Meditative Deep Dive with Pause Meditation

Beginner’s Mind Saturday March 7th from 10A PT/1P ET - 11:30A PT/2:30P ET

In-Person in Oregon

Light of the Ancestors Sesshin—May 11 - 17 at Great Vow Zen Monastery

Grasses, Trees and the Great Earth—

In-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus Sangha

Weekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday

Retreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website.

Upcoming Sesshins at Saranam Retreat Center in West Virginia

Mountains and Rivers Sesshin March 18 - 22 (Registration is now open!)

Mountains are high and wide. The movement of clouds and the inconceivable power of soaring in the wind comes freely from the mountains. —Dogen Zenji, Mountains and Waters Sutra

During this silent, Zen-style retreat we will practice with the mountains and waters, opening to our own mountain-stability and the flowing nature of all experience.

Meditation provides the opportunity for intimacy with self and world, recognizing the interconnectedness of this very life. Healing and transformation happen as we abide in the mystery of who we truly are.

This will be a silent meditation retreat. After an initial meal, set-up and orientation we will enter noble silence. Supporting each other in connecting with our own inner silence, stability and confidence. We will follow a rigorous daily schedule which includes roughly seven hours of seated meditation, interspersed with periods of walking meditation, chanting practice, dharma talks, opportunities to check-in with one of the practice leaders, outdoor meditation sessions, mindful eating practice during meals, a late morning care-taking practice and breaks where participants have the opportunity to rest, exercise and explore the beautiful grounds and nature.

Interdependence Sesshin June 29 - July 5 (save the date, registration opens soon!)

I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha.

dust returns to dust
earth to earth
mind always at home in itself
where does it return?

This past week I was reflecting on the 6th Chan Ancestor, Huineng and his encounter with a verse from the diamond sutra.

Huineng lost his father early in life, and supported himself and his mother by selling firewood. On one occasion, he was selling firewood to a customer, and someone passed by chanting the words of the diamond sutra.

Huineng heard a single line and was profoundly moved—it touched something in him and his heart was opened.

He managed to stop the person who was chanting to inquire as to what the origin of the verse was and found out that it was from the diamond sutra, and a teacher in a distant part of the country was encouraging their students to chant this sutra.

For Huineng, this was a “call to adventure moment.” He knew he needed to meet this teacher, which meant leaving his current life. For Huineng, this worked out. He was able to find someone to care for his mom, and he set out on a difficult journey to meet this unknown teacher.

I feel like this story is relatable. Has something like this ever happened to you? Have you ever heard a phrase from a song, poem, a prayer or a teaching and it touched you profoundly? It stoped you. Perhaps caused you to find out the source of the words, or left you on a quest to discover who wrote it? what book was it from?

These moments can take us on an adventure of discovery.

But also, more importantly—the words themselves touched something that is beyond words. They often wake us up to the immediacy, the intimacy of this life.

Sometimes this happens with words from a chant or prayer we recite regularly, or have heard often. One day, they feel imbued with a new kind of meaning.

This past Wednesday was Ash Wednesday, and the words: remember you are dust, and to dust you shall return—have been with me. I remember the first time the profundity of that simple phrase really got in—I was an adult and my grandfather had just passed away.

I got interested this year in the practice of lent, and read the lenten gospel from Matthew, where Jesus is speaking about prayer. He is reminding his disciples that prayer isn’t about being seen doing something great, or making some big sacrifice—but perhaps the most genuine prayer is secret, a private affair between one’s self and the great mystery.

We live in a time in the world where we share intimate details of our lives on social media platforms. There isn’t anything inherently wrong about this, but I got interested in the invitation towards a secret life of prayer or meditation.

I think we long for an intimacy with ourselves and the universe—the great mystery, that can’t be displayed or need not be. That gets to be hidden, secret, kept close.

I had a dream recently on this theme. In the dream I was given a bright green folder and told to always keep it close. When I explored what was in the folder there was a roll of masking tape, a book I wrote in kindergarten about a tree named Fred, and vast emptiness.

I was left opened to the unnameable absence—roaring silence, pure potentiality.

In this task of being human, in this life’s work of discovering our true nature—words, stories, images, dreams and symbols can serve as pointers, but we all will encounter the mystery of this life for ourselves.

Dharma practice invites nearness. What are you keeping close? What practices allow you to stay with your inner-most heart? To stay with your self moment-to-moment? To stay close to the vows you wish to live by?

This on-going commitment to awakening is something that for most of us operates in secret, its that inner orientation, remembering ourselves back to ourselves, recognizing what is nearest.

I got curious about what Huineng actually heard and so did some research to find the passage from the Diamond Sutra. Below is Steven Mitchell’s translation for the last paragraph of Chapter 10 of the Diamond Sutra.

Another way this is translated is a bodhisattva should develop mind at home with itself. What is this heart-mind that doesn’t depend on thoughts or the senses, that abides nowhere, everywhere, all at once. Always at home.

Andrew Holecek in his book Preparing to Die, says that this practice of recognizing the mind that abides nowhere, is the best practice to do to prepare for death—for when the body returns to the earth, the senses cease—the mind of awakening continues—at home in itself.

The audio portion of this post is mainly a dharma talk on the Diamond Sutra. I reference both Steven Mitchell’s translation and Red Pine’s translation. You can find Red Pine’s translation here.

I’m excited to be co-creating space this Spring and Summer for in-person sesshin/meditation retreats. As well as online immersions with Pause Meditation. See below for upcoming events!

Weekly Online Meditation Event

Monday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk.

Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINK

Online Meditative Deep Dive with Pause Meditation

Beginner’s Mind Saturday March 7th from 10A PT/1P ET - 11:30A PT/2:30P ET

In-Person in Oregon

Light of the Ancestors Sesshin—May 11 - 17 at Great Vow Zen Monastery

Grasses, Trees and the Great Earth—

In-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus Sangha

Weekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday

Retreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website.

Upcoming Sesshins at Saranam Retreat Center in West Virginia

Mountains and Rivers Sesshin March 18 - 22 (Registration is now open!)

Mountains are high and wide. The movement of clouds and the inconceivable power of soaring in the wind comes freely from the mountains. —Dogen Zenji, Mountains and Waters Sutra

During this silent, Zen-style retreat we will practice with the mountains and waters, opening to our own mountain-stability and the flowing nature of all experience.

Meditation provides the opportunity for intimacy with self and world, recognizing the interconnectedness of this very life. Healing and transformation happen as we abide in the mystery of who we truly are.

This will be a silent meditation retreat. After an initial meal, set-up and orientation we will enter noble silence. Supporting each other in connecting with our own inner silence, stability and confidence. We will follow a rigorous daily schedule which includes roughly seven hours of seated meditation, interspersed with periods of walking meditation, chanting practice, dharma talks, opportunities to check-in with one of the practice leaders, outdoor meditation sessions, mindful eating practice during meals, a late morning care-taking practice and breaks where participants have the opportunity to rest, exercise and explore the beautiful grounds and nature.

Interdependence Sesshin June 29 - July 5 (save the date, registration opens soon!)

I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha.

A lotus blooming in the fire is an image that comes from the Zen tradition. And before I write further on the symbolism of the image or the dharma teachings it evokes—I would like to invite us to just sit with the image of a lotus blooming in the fire.

For a moment, let yourself sense, imagine or feel into this image. Notice what you see, feel, hear, experience as you attempt to connect with the image of a lotus blooming in the fire.

Now, if you haven’t already bring the image closer in. Sit as, be a lotus blooming in the fire.

And stay with it for some time allowing associations, feelings, meanings, sensations to come and go. Returning simply to being a lotus in the fire.

When you are ready, you can let the image dissolve.

I am curious to hear what you noticed, what happened as you sat with or as a lotus blooming in the fire?

Leave a comment

The Power of Embodied Imagination

To meditate with an image like this, is one form that koan practice can take in the Zen tradition. You sit with an image, becoming the image and learning about it through your direct experience. Notice how an image can contain seeming paradoxes. How can a lotus bloom in fire? Wouldn’t it burn? And yet, here it is.

On Wednesday, in Columbus we did this practice with my local sangha Mud Lotus. We sat as lotuses blooming in the fire. People noticed different things about this dynamic of fire and blooming. Someone pointed out that a lotus isn’t trying to stop the fire, yet it is blooming there. Another said that it seemed like the lotus bloomed because of the fire. Others saw the lotus as a reminder of their own nature that isn’t burned in the fires of life.

This image was popularized by the great Chan teacher of 11th Century China, Yuan-Wu. He used it to refer to the practice of what he called, Householder Bodhisattvas. Those of us whose practice-awakening happens in the fires of this world, in the challenges of our relationships, in our own inner conflicts or difficulties.

Thich Nhat Hanh also used this image in his first book published in English, Vietnam: A Lotus in the Sea of Fire: A Buddhist Proposal for Peace.

What are the Fires in your Life?

Fire in the Buddhist tradition can be a symbol of suffering in all its manifestations. From the collective forms of suffering that appear as war, violence, injustice, conflict, misuse of power to the more personal forms of suffering that appear as anxiety, worry, terror, fear, shame, physical discomfort, pain.

Fire can also be a symbol of the instability of all experience, the changing nature of everyone and everything—in Buddhism we call this impermanence.

Suffering and impermanence are two of the marks of existence. A teaching the buddha gave about the nature of experience—basically reminding us that suffering and change are part of life.

In the Buddhist teachings, liberation or freedom from suffering is not the absence of pain, violence, fear, change, anxiety, etc. —but is found in the midst of these fires, or whatever fires we find ourselves in.

A Lotus Blooms in a Sea of Fire

Which brings us to the image of the lotus.

The lotus is a symbol of wholeness, it is an image of our true nature—which is always present, reliable, unbreakable yet soft—the blossoming of wisdom and compassion.

To realize our buddha nature does not make the fires of our lives go away, it doesn’t mean that the fires in the world stop burning.

Awakening is being the lotus blooming in the fire.

Its having this refuge of love unconditioned, of spacious awareness, unbreakable kindness in every situation—even as our heart’s break, even as we feel at times like we are falling apart.

The lotus of our true nature blooms— even here, even now.

Even without our noticing the lotus blooms. Part of what dharma practice is all about is training to recognize the lotus of our true nature, which at times may mean finding ways to nurture and care for our practice in the midst of these world fires.

Practicing with others whether it is in-person or online is a way to strengthen this refuge, to recognize for ourselves the lotus that doesn’t burn-up in the fires of stress, overwhelm, fear and all the other forms suffering can take in our lives and in this world.

Listen to the dharma talk for a more in-depth discussion of the Lotus in the Fire, and Yuan-wu’s teaching on How to be a Householder Bodhisattva.

I’m excited to be co-creating space this Spring and Summer for in-person sesshin/meditation retreats. As well as online immersions with Pause Meditation. See below for upcoming events!

Weekly Online Meditation Event

Monday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk.

Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINK

Online Meditative Deep Dive with Pause Meditation

Beginner’s Mind Saturday March 7th from 10A PT/1P ET - 11:30A PT/2:30P ET

In-Person in Oregon

Light of the Ancestors Sesshin—May 11 - 17 at Great Vow Zen Monastery

Grasses, Trees and the Great Earth—

In-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus Sangha

Weekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday

Retreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website.

Upcoming Sesshins at Saranam Retreat Center in West Virginia

Mountains and Rivers Sesshin March 18 - 22 (Registration is now open!)

Mountains are high and wide. The movement of clouds and the inconceivable power of soaring in the wind comes freely from the mountains. —Dogen Zenji, Mountains and Waters Sutra

During this silent, Zen-style retreat we will practice with the mountains and waters, opening to our own mountain-stability and the flowing nature of all experience.

Meditation provides the opportunity for intimacy with self and world, recognizing the interconnectedness of this very life. Healing and transformation happen as we abide in the mystery of who we truly are.

This will be a silent meditation retreat. After an initial meal, set-up and orientation we will enter noble silence. Supporting each other in connecting with our own inner silence, stability and confidence. We will follow a rigorous daily schedule which includes roughly seven hours of seated meditation, interspersed with periods of walking meditation, chanting practice, dharma talks, opportunities to check-in with one of the practice leaders, outdoor meditation sessions, mindful eating practice during meals, a late morning care-taking practice and breaks where participants have the opportunity to rest, exercise and explore the beautiful grounds and nature.

Interdependence Sesshin June 29 - July 5 (save the date, registration opens soon!)

I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha.

Greetings Friends,

I have been reflecting on one of the simplest and perhaps most profound teachings in the Buddhist tradition— the teaching of our extra-ordinary heart.

Our extra-ordinary heart is the aspect of our being that doesn’t die, and isn’t born. That isn’t dependent on us but is a deep refuge and resource—one that we know and rely on all the time. One that we also see demonstrated and embodied in our communities, on the world stage, in the people we love and care about.

We are living in a time in this country that feels like we are going backward in many respects. Where state-enforced violence has entered our communities, and families are being separated, detained and deported at an unprecedented rate. While our human hearts break, fear, grieve, feel deeply, love and desire—which is beautiful and painful, and part of what makes this experience of being human.

We, together, have an extra-ordinary heart—that is boundless in it’s nature and is always abiding right here. This heart isn’t separate from the very experience of being human, it is intrinsic to our nature. So we too can practice recognizing and abiding in this heart. We too can embody these qualities and let them manifest in our lives and the world.

The Buddha taught that our boundless heart has Four Qualities of Boundlessness, also called the Four Divine Abodes

Boundless Love/Kindness — which is a friendliness toward existence, agape or universal love, the love of Jesus Christ or Amitabha Buddha or other such figures who love unconditionally

Boundless Compassion — is a responsiveness to suffering in self or other which can have many different qualities(protective, patient, nurturing/gentle, strategic, discerning, creative, clear, resourceful)

In the Zen tradition we have a story about boundless compassion. It involves two brothers walking down the road together, and one says to the other, “what do you think the bodhisattva of great compassion does with all of their hands and eyes?” To which the other brother replies, “it’s like reaching back in the middle of the night for a pillow.”

Compassion is responsive; and takes many forms—so we have this image of a being with ten-thousand arms and hands. In each hand there is a different expression of compassion. So sometimes compassion looks fierce, it’s saying no to violence, it’s standing up for what we care about, other times its gentle, it’s grieving together, or care-taking each other, it can be protective, immediate, systematic and strategic.

Boundless Joy — playfulness/spontaneity of being-reality

I think we have a meme in our culture, “if you are happy you aren’t paying attention.” But play and creativity have always been part of the resistance, we find the trickster archetype in myths throughout human cultures. We find it throughout spiritual traditions as well from the play/spontaneity of the zen koans to the poetry of the mystics like hafiz, cold mountain and la ded.

There is a lot of play, joy and creativity happening in the protests in Minneapolis right now.

But boundless joy also speaks to being happy for no good reason, causeless happiness. It’s wonderful to experience the joy of simply being alive. No one can take that away from us.

Boundless Peace/Equanimity — this is the wisdom of the deep equality or oneness of all things.

Perhaps the hardest to conceive of, because it’s like the peace and presence of the sky. The sky simply allows all forms of weather to move through it, clouds, heavy rains, snow, tornadoes, planes, birds, sunsets all happen in the spaciousness of the sky. The sky simply allows.

Our true nature is like the sky. Open, unhindered, allowing, at peace.

These four boundless qualities are always abiding in our Extra Ordinary Heart that we call them the divine abodes.

We too can abide here.

Many people find that through recognizing equanimity the other boundless qualities source forth. They contain each other. And I invite you to explore this for yourself, which qualities feel most familiar? Which are more difficult for you to recognize? How are the four related to each other in your experience?

Leave a comment

One practice I like to do for connecting with the extra-ordinary-heart is to pay attention to or recognize these qualities as they appear or manifest in my life. So I invite you this week to notice kindness/love, compassion, joy and peace/equanimity. Notice when you experience these qualities, and linger with them, let yourself affirm that they abide in your innermost heart.

And also notice when someone else is embodying these qualities, notice them in the natural world, in your community, at work, in the animals you cohabitate with.

Another way I connect with the extra-ordinary-heart is I collect poems, art, songs, images that embody these qualities.

Here is a favorite. Kindness by Naomi Shihab Nye

Kindness
Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.
Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive.
Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.
Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to gaze at bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
It is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you everywhere
like a shadow or a friend.

Do you have a favorite poem, song, image or piece of art that embodies one or all of the boundless qualities? Do you have practices for connecting with the four boundless qualities? Feel free to share in the comments section.

Leave a comment

Weekly Online Meditation Event

Monday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk.

Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINK

In-Person in Oregon

Light of the Ancestors Sesshin—May 11 - 17 at Great Vow Zen Monastery

In-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus Sangha

Weekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday

Retreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website.

2026 Mud Lotus Sesshins at Saranam Retreat Center in West Virginia

Mountains and Rivers Sesshin March 18 - 22

Mountains are high and wide. The movement of clouds and the inconceivable power of soaring in the wind comes freely from the mountains. —Dogen Zenji, Mountains and Waters Sutra

During this silent, Zen-style retreat we will practice with the mountains and waters, opening to our own mountain-stability and the flowing nature of all experience.

Meditation provides the opportunity for intimacy with self and world, recognizing the interconnectedness of this very life. Healing and transformation happen as we abide in the mystery of who we truly are.

This will be a silent meditation retreat. After an initial meal, set-up and orientation we will enter noble silence. Supporting each other in connecting with our own inner silence, stability and confidence. We will follow a rigorous daily schedule which includes roughly seven hours of seated meditation, interspersed with periods of walking meditation, chanting practice, dharma talks, opportunities to check-in with one of the practice leaders, outdoor meditation sessions, mindful eating practice during meals, a late morning care-taking practice and breaks where participants have the opportunity to rest, exercise and explore the beautiful grounds and nature.

Interdependence Sesshin June 29 - July 5

I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha.

Greetings Friends,

In the heartbreak, pain, confusion of this moment. I wish to remember together the Way of the Bodhisattva.

The image or archetype of the Bodhisattva resonates deep in the hearts of those oriented towards love for this beautiful and broken world.

For a Bodhisattva is motivated to relieve suffering and pain, as they work towards a liberation for all beings. This is the spiritual warrior, who knows that this life is not our own but a shared life.

Practice of a bodhisattva is a practice of compassion which has two important dimensions Boundless Compassion or Absolute Compassion and Engaged Compassion or Relative Compassion.

Boundless Compassion is a view we can practice and eventually realize. It’s something we sense or know, without thinking. Boundless Compassion reminds us that compassion is our nature. That nothing need be done because it is already so.

The spacious, clear source of our being gives rise to compassionate activity. Without needing to think about it, we respond, we care for others. Our heart is inseparable from all that appears in awareness.

This body-heart-mind is an organ of compassion.

Is the expression of compassion.

Is the vehicle of compassion.

There is nothing we need to do make it this way.

We practice recognizing and trusting our innate compassion in meditation on and off the cushion.

Engaged Compassion is the practice of cultivating compassion through our living. Shantideva in his treatise on The Way of the Bodhisattva invokes the aspirational spirit of compassionate service through this heart-felt prayer. Below is an excerpt, in the original Shantideva goes on and on, connecting to this deep intention to offer himself and is practice for the liberation of all beings.

Shantideva’s Way of the Bodhisattva

For all those ailing in the world, 
Until their every sickness has been healed, 
May I myself become for them 
The doctor, nurse, the medicine itself. 

Raining down a flood of food and drink, 
May I dispel the ills of thirst and famine. 
And in the aeons marked by scarcity and want. 
May I myself appear as drink and sustenance.
 
For sentient beings, poor and destitute, 
May I become a treasure ever-plentiful, 
And lie before them closely in their reach, 
A varied source of all that they might need. 

My body, thus, and all my goods besides, 
And all my merits gained and to be gained, I
give them all and do not count the cost, 
To bring about the benefit of beings.

My dharma brother Soten Danney Lynch wrote a rendition of Shantideva’s prayer that we would sing at the monastery. You can listen here.

I share this prayer because it can invoke in us the spirit of offering, of recognizing our life as a shared life and awaken in us a deeper connection to the compassion at the heart of our being.

I also want to share a teaching called the Five Compassions that can help us connect to a sustainable, joyful and wise compassionate response in our living. The Buddha warned that the near-enemy of compassion is pity. Others have pointed out that empathy, righteousness, and trying to be good out of guilt, or a sense of inadequacy can sometimes feel like compassion but often lead to burn-out, fatigue and resentment.

The Five Compassions of Engaged Compassion

Wise/Curious Compassion—grounded in the experience of interconnection. A response coming from discernment and deep listening.

Fierce/Courageous Compassion—a response aimed to protect self or others, this could include boundary setting, speaking up or acting in a way that even risks one’s own safety to protect another

Patient/Calm Compassion—slow, steady, showing up for something or someone we care about or believe in. The longview in bodhisattva language that we will work to help all beings find liberation lifetime after lifetime. A recognition that true, deep, sustaining change often takes time.

Joyful/Content Compassion—activity that is nourishing for us and brings us joy or contentment, in Hakomi they use the phrase non-egocentric nourishment to talk about this quality

Unified/Confident Compassion—in alignment with our vows, values, capacities

Usually all or most of these qualities need to be present in order for our response to feel sustainable and genuine. Compassion is directionless sometimes our compassionate response is directed towards ourselves, and sometimes towards others—is there a difference?

Upcoming Retreats and Weekly Drop-in Events

Weekly Online Meditation Event

Monday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk.

Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINK

In-Person in Oregon

Light of the Ancestors Sesshin—May 11 - 17 at Great Vow Zen Monastery

In-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus Sangha

Weekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday

Retreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website.

2026 Mud Lotus Sesshins at Saranam Retreat Center in West Virginia

Mountains and Rivers Sesshin March 18 - 22

Interdependence Sesshin June 29 - July 5

I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha.

Greetings Friends,

I am in the PNW this week. I had the opportunity to return “home” to Great Vow Zen Monastery this past weekend for a gathering of the teachers in our lineage. While there I reconnected with my good friends and dharma siblings Soten and Shinei, who are currently founding an earth-based dharma center in Battleground, Washington called Bells Mountain Dharma Center. Their vision is to be a place of practice for lay and monastic residents who want to practice the dharma in deep stewardship with the Great Earth and all beings. It’s truly an amazing place, with a lot of heart!

Monastic life has always inspired me. There is something relentless about the schedule that encourages a whole-hearted engagement with life itself. These places of practice invite the timeless inquiry into this great matter of life/death. Who are we, when much of our comfort-seeking is taken away? What can you rely on when you are left to the silence of a cold morning, a beating heart and another breath? To come closer still to the source-less source of our living allows an uncompromising love for it all. This is bodhisattva vision. Beyond view and experience, the raw intimacy of being-life entangled together in mystery-manifestation.

Over the last two days, I also had the opportunity to facilitate two ceremonies of the Bodhisattva precepts. One was a Sangha Jukai where together with four other priests and teachers we initiated seven sangha members into the lineage, where they received new dharma names and took the 16 Bodhisattva precepts. The other was a Five Foundational Precepts Ceremony that took place yesterday on MLK Jr’s birthday. In preparing for the ceremony I reread MLK Jr’s sermon on Loving Our Enemies. I want to share an excerpt of it here. For I find this piece both timely and timeless. It speaks to the practice of a Bodhisattva, the practice of uncompromising love for all beings, the practice of deep self-study and realization, the practice of seeing the goodness/Buddha nature in all. He quotes Christ and reminds us that this is not easy. It may be impossible, and yet we do it anyway. Perhaps this is the task of being truly human.

So I want to turn your attention to this subject: “Loving Your Enemies.” It’s so basic to me because it is a part of my basic philosophical and theological orientation: the whole idea of love, the whole philosophy of love. In the fifth chapter of the gospel as recorded by Saint Matthew, we read these very arresting words flowing from the lips of our Lord and Master: “Ye have heard that it has been said, ‘Thou shall love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy.’ But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them that despitefully use you; that ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven.”2

Certainly these are great words, words lifted to cosmic proportions. And over the centuries, many persons have argued that this is an extremely difficult command. Many would go so far as to say that it just isn’t possible to move out into the actual practice of this glorious command. They would go on to say that this is just additional proof that Jesus was an impractical idealist who never quite came down to earth. So the arguments abound. But far from being an impractical idealist, Jesus has become the practical realist. The words of this text glitter in our eyes with a new urgency. Far from being the pious injunction of a utopian dreamer, this command is an absolute necessity for the survival of our civilization. Yes, it is love that will save our world and our civilization, love even for enemies.

Now let me hasten to say that Jesus was very serious when he gave this command; he wasn’t playing. He realized that it’s hard to love your enemies. He realized that it’s difficult to love those persons who seek to defeat you, those persons who say evil things about you. He realized that it was painfully hard, pressingly hard. But he wasn’t playing.

Now first let us deal with this question, which is the practical question: How do you go about loving your enemies? I think the first thing is this: In order to love your enemies, you must begin by analyzing self. And I’m sure that seems strange to you, that I start out telling you this morning that you love your enemies by beginning with a look at self.

To read the full sermon—click here!

Thich Nhat Hanh said upon reflecting on the shared vision of himself and MLK Jr, “without community we cannot go very far.”

On Thursday, Jogen and I are beginning a non-residential retreat here in Portland called Universe Somatic: The Bright Thread in the Dark. We still have some spaces available if you are interested in attending. Our intention is to explore through movement practices and open, spacious sitting the bright thread that is this life. We can read about love, acceptance, spaciousness, inclusive awareness. We can find inspiration in the words of Dr. King. But if we don’t experience this love and confidence for ourselves, then we don’t have a refuge when we encounter the challenges, fears and dark times that are part of this human life.

In my own life, it has definitely been true that without community we cannot go very far. I wish for you community to support you on your own path of living, loving and self-inquiry. May we dare to hold a vision of awakening for all beings. May we dare to love what seems unloveable. And discover the bright thread that runs through whatever appears dark or opaque.

Thank you for your abiding faith and practice, whatever shape it takes!

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