I hate being sick. Who doesn’t? When you’re struggling with pain or illness, it’s hard to think about anything else. It’s certainly challenging to remain open to opportunities — ones that have nothing to do with your immediate well-being. If you do remain open, however, that is when the real healing begins.

After days of feeling like shit, I pushed myself to hop on a group call that had been arranged by an entrepreneurial friend of mine. The call was optional, even though I’m working for this friend’s start-up company. Today’s call was simply presented as a voluntary opportunity to learn and gain information from a really interesting, successful man.

My body told me to lay in bed on a heating pad, but my mind told me to push myself and hop on the call. I am so glad that I did. I am so glad the energetic power of the word yes trumped my lingering migraine’s attempt to say no.

You Miss The Shots You Don’t Take

In an interview back in the ‘80s, Wayne Gretzky famously said “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” I was a high school basketball player at that time, and that statement really impacted me. I thought about it as I brought the ball up the court and when I saw an opening for a shot.

Of course, I thought about that quote off the court, as well. If you don’t take a shot in your education … in romance … in business … in life, then how can you get any points on the board? How can you succeed?

The guest on the call happened to be a former speed skater, hockey player and Olympian, so the Gretzky quote couldn’t be more appropriate. Like Gretzky, this man understood this idea of not wasting an opportunity. He spoke with our team about being passionate and intense in business, while he also talked about the value of remaining flexible.

Quotes, Conversations and Lessons

Just as certain quotes have encouraged me over the decades, this call today inspired me. In just 30 minutes, I was reminded the key to remaining passionate (even on days like today when I’m feeling run down): Put one foot on the floor. Then the other foot. Then walk out the door. Just keep moving.

It was so ironic because I was lacking the motivation based on how I was feeling physically. I had wanted to remain in my bed with a heating pad around my skull, but I stood up. I brushed my hair. I hopped on a Teams call with a smile on my face.

It worked. Now, I’m writing. I’m sharing my thoughts with you. I’m strengthened. I put my feet on the floor, and I’m actually healing.

My focus has turned away from my headache and onto my writing. I’m thinking about this step. I’m taking the next step. I’m not wasting an opportunity to connect with you — to connect with myself.

This is the goal. This is the strength of saying yes. This is the power of putting two feet on the ground and taking that first step.

I’m feeling unstoppable, even as my temporary pain tries to slow me down. I’m embracing fearlessness. I’m taking that shot right now, and I know that it’s gonna be “nothin’ but net.”

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For as long as I can remember, I’ve been an introspective thinker, a keen observer and a confident former of my own opinions. I was fortunate to have a brilliant father who was also a litigator, so conversations in my house were often heated and layered. I also surrounded myself with philosophical friends, other bright family members and very smart, intuitive mentors, therapists and guides.

In addition to seeking out inspiring conversations with others, I’ve been a creative writer since I was 10. Writing poems and maintaining journals have always enabled me to evaluate my beliefs and to study my feelings. Between my hunger for writing and for substantive dialogue, I’ve been committed to the infinite practice of evolving.

During our brief time here, I hope we all are enthusiastic about learning and growing. I’ve often said: If my interest in developing my mind ends, it will be my time to exit this Earth. As I see it, we are here to learn, love and improve.

Time to Get Unstuck

So why do so many people dig their heels in when it comes to their beliefs? Why do they refuse to open their minds to other ways of doing things — to other ways of thinking? Why do they seem to quickly relinquish their desire to grow?

Just yesterday, a family member who leans much further left than I reminded me that my political beliefs used to be less conservative … 25 years ago! She said my political views were different when I was first married in the 1990s. I replied that my political beliefs, just like ALL of my beliefs, continue to change, especially as the world around me changes.

Fortunately, I am not so set in my ways. I pride myself on paying attention and learning. I also value life experiences and their ability to change us.

I used to believe in God before my dad suddenly died when I was 21 and before my treasured friend died at 32. During those challenging times, I proclaimed myself an atheist. But as the years passed, I became agnostic (I began to believe I simply did not know whether or not God existed).

Most recently, I’ve become absolutely certain of the powerful energy in the universe. I feel it every day. I know there is something bigger than us … is that God?

Politics Has Entered the Chat

Back to the family member who has been waiting for me to “return to my more liberal ways” … I wish she would understand my beliefs changed as events unfolded around me. As COVID’s fear, misinformation, mandates and shutdowns spread, I started seeing things differently. (Note: I voted for Biden in 2020 and have always labeled myself an independent.)

As I lived in the city of Chicago with a liberal mayor who was soft on crime, I felt compelled to move out of the city and continued to see things from an alternative lens. Life kept happening and I kept being a thoughtful witness.

As my daughter walked to class on a liberal college campus where “death to Israel and death to Jews” were shouted at her and considered protected free speech, I paid attention. I watched clips of Governor Greg Abbott famously warning students at the University of Texas and surrounding schools that they would be expelled if they set up encampments.

Instantly, I felt a sense of safety and American pride. If only my daughter’s university was in a red state I had thought.

Cha … Cha … Changing!

Yes, my beliefs changed — not because I was brainwashed by a partner or influenced by friends, but because I had been awake with an open mind. I don’t attach myself to inflexible beliefs when it comes to things such as politics, relationships or even my own spirituality.

Instead, I listen. I talk to residents of other countries when I travel. I study history. I evaluate the present. I am a boundless student of my own existence.

I don’t need to identify myself as someone who is a Democrat … a Republican … a hater of Trump … a lover of Trump. While there’s nothing wrong with having convictions (especially, by the way, when it comes to your faith), we must remain open minded when it comes to many of our beliefs, especially the political ones.

This Democratic Party, for a timely example, isn’t the same party it was years ago. It now supports many progressive socialists and even self-proclaimed communists. It supports many who proudly claim they hate capitalism and abhor financial success. It supports candidates with Nazi tattoos and those who openly celebrated October 7.

Similarly, I won’t blindly support the Republican Party. As J.D. Vance, for example, has revealed more of his antisemitic beliefs and publicly shared false theories about Israel, I shudder and hope he is not our Republican candidate in 2028. I am hopeful that Rubio is our guy. Needless to say, I do not have blind loyalty to anyone or any political party.

Open Minds and Open Ears

If you personally are still stuck and feel you need to remain aligned with something familiar, at least make sure it is still familiar. Don’t favor your long-standing party commitment over necessary reflection and attention. This isn’t the time or place for unearned loyalty. Take the time to expose yourself to other ideas, thoughts and news stations.

Equally important: Let go of your judgement of others … of me! If you believe I’ve leaned further right, please trust in my cognitive abilities. Trust that I moved directions for good reasons. Trust that the phone calls from my scared daughter had a great impact on my perspective.

Trust me. Or don’t. But at least listen to me. Listen to others. Ask questions. Challenge everything you read. Check sources. Fact check everything. Like my journalism teachers at Medill insisted: “If your mama says she loves you, check it out.”

Finally, realize our life experiences should and do impact our feelings. Someone who had an abortion as a teen might fear the right’s views on abortion. On the other hand, someone who works at a hospital in Colorado might morally be opposed to that state’s acceptance of third-term abortions.

Can you have some sympathy for both sides? Can you have compassion for both people? Can you try to view their beliefs from a non-judgmental lens?

We all live different, complex, ever-changing lives. Don’t fear and personalize that. Respect it. Celebrate it. Embrace it.

Embrace learning … Embrace changing … Embrace each other.

Last weekend, my third and final “baby“ graduated from college. During the preceding weeks, I felt a variety of emotions ranging from feeling so proud of my Danielle to feeling acutely aware of time as the mother of three college graduates. I also swiveled back and forth, feeling thankful so many people wanted to celebrate with Danielle to feeling sad about some of those who could not be there.

As graduation approached, Danielle had been scrambling to get extra tickets as five grandparents (flying in from Chicago and Florida) wanted to celebrate in Colorado with her. It was especially meaningful to me that my mom and my Papa were going to be there to see their fifth grandchild graduate from college. At the same time, I couldn’t help thinking about my father who died just before my own college graduation and never had the opportunity to even meet a grandchild, let alone watch one receive a diploma.

I was expecting tears to flow during the ceremony. (I had even planted emergency tissues with my mom as I didn’t carry a purse there.) Surprisingly, I never shed a tear. I was beaming with pride. I was overwhelmed with gratitude. I reflected on all Danielle had endured and achieved over the last four years. I was eagerly anticipating hearing her full name called out loud as she was named after my best friend Sari who had died just days before my Danielle Sari was born.

A Pendulum of Emotions

After graduation, Danielle asked me if I cried. She and I were both equally surprised when I told her I had not. I was so focused on gratitude that grief became a subtle, discreet backdrop. I also realized they never played Pomp and Circumstance, and I told her that’s why my tears were never unleashed. That song gets me every time!

Later that night, Danielle’s dad and I sat at a table looking at my mom and Papa, at his stepmom Bubs and at his in-laws. We discussed how amazing it was to have them all there. We also acknowledged the obvious void due to the recent loss of his mom and dad, both of whom had been so close with Danielle, along with wishing my dad could have been there, too.

Yet the celebration unfolded. Appreciation filled our large table of 14. We toasted to Danielle’s hard work and to her successes. We filled out notecards with advice for the graduate. We were present, grateful and excited to see her future unfold.

What We Carry Home

When I boarded the plane to head home to Chicago the next afternoon, I was again feeling a pinball-like explosion of emotions. I was leaving Colorado, where all three of my children were living. I wondered where Danielle would decide to go to grad school and how many weeks would pass before I would see her again.

Scrolling through the many pictures and videos I took, I finally exhaled and began to process the weekend. I came across an eight-second video clip that I immediately sent to Sari’s mom because I knew she’d love hearing and seeing her beloved daughter’s name read aloud … Danielle Sari Kite. Those tears were now rumbling just below the surface.

As we flew toward Chicago, I did focus on all that we did have. I focused on the good. I put together an Instagram story with pictures of all five living grandparents hugging their treasured graduate. I noted that the other three beloved grandparents were there in spirit. I included music in my story — the graduation theme song, of course.

My Tears Late Arrival

Then it happened. The floodgates gave way. The tears seemed to burst out without warning (and of course my emergency Kleenex was nowhere to be found). My boyfriend asked me what was wrong. I told him how I had just texted with Sari’s mom.

The tears weren’t just carrying some stored-up sadness. The teardrops were, like my blog’s name, carrying an ocean in a drop — each drop full of memories, of joy, of pain, of worry, of grief, of hope, of gratitude.

As the music played and the tears flowed, I felt it all. I closed my eyes and connected to the slew of emotions. I watched gratitude and grief dance together beneath the same spotlight as I welcomed them to my mind’s stage — immensely thankful for it all.

“Crying does not indicate that you are weak. Since birth, it has always been a sign that you are alive.” — Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

For years after I got divorced, I would see someone I hadn’t seen for a while who inevitably would end up asking me the same question: “Are you happy?” I used to wonder why they asked this. Were they attempting to determine if I felt I was on the right path? Were they trying to evaluate their own lives through my lens? Or, were they simply hoping I was happy?

I always responded honestly. Luckily, I am one who focuses on the good so my answer was always yes. If I had just walked my dog … if one of my kids was just laughing … if I had just had a good date … if I had just brought home a new orchid, then, yes: I was happy. It was about the moments, and the moments were (and still are) great in their simplicity.

But it also was about the road I was traveling on at the time. I believed it was one full of countless adventures and infinite possibilities. That alone kept me feeling “happy.”

Time to Dump The Idea

I also was young when I got divorced — in my mid 30s. With being young comes a bit of gullibility. The goal of being deliriously happy was one I sought to achieve. I had already lost my best friend when she was only 32, so I felt my own time to lasso in bliss was relatively urgent.

For a long time, I chased that concept. I even became committed to it. My kids deserved a mom who was overtly happy, and that is what I wanted to give them. If I was lucky enough to still be on this earth, then I must maintain my focus on that euphoric path.

But, then life continued to happen. Bad shit happened. Great shit happened. The pendulum swung back and forth, often with no warning. I suffered. I celebrated. I suffered again. This, I realized, was life.

We all suffer. That is the inevitable reality of our time here. That is simply the inescapable truth.

I began exploring Buddhist teachings and their philosophy about happiness. Everything I read came back to the moment. It came back to being present. It came back to mindfulness. It came back to appreciation and gratitude.

“There is no path to happiness: happiness is the path.” — Buddha

On the Right Path

Once I embraced suffering, I immediately knew I was headed in the right direction. I went a bit deep with my studies and even ended up getting certified as a meditation guide. My focus to be peaceful became my new obsession.

But, I’m here to tell you (and possibly even save you from hours of meditative practice and Buddhist readings): the path is right before you. Your toes are already on it! All you have to do is let go of this idea of happiness.

Stop looking at your peers’ Instagram posts and their seemingly perfect lives. I promise you that behind those perfect pictures are spouses who annoy one another, children who push their parents’ buttons and stressful jobs coating their minds.

Don’t be fooled by the filters, both figuratively and literally. No one has it so easy. No one escapes pain. No one.

A Single Focus

As the years went by, my outlook and my goals changed. I stopped seeking this unobtainable concept of happiness and instead began to focus on the moments. Simple moments. Quiet moments. Unexpected moments.

From a random interaction with a stranger in line to the sight of a colorful bird as I walked my pups, the moments began to matter more. The aim for happiness continued to fade. It was replaced with something even more important — something that felt fulfilling and grounding.

“Are you happy?” I still am asked.

“Well, I am peaceful,” I now always respond. “And that, to me, is everything.”

Peacefulness. My new obsession. My new day-to-day, moment-to-moment goal. Sleeping through the night … an anxiety-free mind … feeling content right now, exactly where I am at … wanting for nothing. True peace. That transcends happiness every day, every moment.

“When are we coming up with our multi-million-dollar idea?” my friend asked me. “It’s time,” I said as we talked about the podcast we wanted to host, the kitchen gadget we wanted to invent, the app we wanted to create and the book we wanted to write. We then hung up and went back to our day-to-day activities, dreaming about our colorful, carefree futures.

How many times has this happened to you? Have you thought about a business you wanted to launch? An invention you wanted to get patented? A song you wanted to write? A painting of yours you wanted to sell? A new job you wanted to bravely take?

What has been stopping you? For me, I think it’s this idea that I’ll get to it soon. I’ll get to it after the kids go to college … after I finish the temp work I took on … after I get back from my next vacation. There seem to be endless “afters” lurking around the corner.

After All

It’s too easy to push our hopes, plans, challenges and dreams down the line. To wait until that perfect time. Of course, the perfect time is always now. But, now vs. after is quite the main event! When those two step in the ring, the bets are flying. More money is definitely being put down on the after bet though.

How can we change that? What does it take to really inspire us to get moving right now?

I’m a broken record in terms of my continuous belief that “now is all we have.” For the most part, I really live my life with that philosophy at the forefront of my mind. When it comes to love, adventure, grief, laughter, pain, fear — I embrace all of it the moment it rears its head.

I don’t wait to live my life. Yet somehow when it comes to business … to my creative work goals, well, then that NOW philosophy seems to be shaded.

“If you aim at nothing, you will hit it every time.” — Anonymous

Two Authors Changed Everything

A couple weeks ago I went to a book signing for a first-time author. He had never been a writer before, nor had he ever dreamed of writing a book. He just published his first book about his life, and the room of interested readers was full. He is 73 years old.

I asked him what motivated him to write a book. He said he’s always been a good storyteller, so he thought why not write a book?!

The universe was poking at me. It was about to get my attention.

Then, days later, I got an email from a 23-year-old woman who wanted to talk to me about the publishing world. She knows I’ve had some poetry books and children’s books published, so she requested my input.

She lives in LA and considers herself a screenwriter. She told me how she’s never written a book but reads all the time and loves writing dialogue and scripts. She wanted to challenge herself with writing a novel, so she sat down and did it.

I told her how almost every classmate in my journalism program (a long time ago!) wanted to one day write a novel, but most of us have still not gotten to it decades later. She should be so proud, I told her.

Okay, two non-writers turned authors appear before me in a matter of days? I hear you, Universe. Yes — I’ll share the message with others, too.

The Time is Always Now

Within days of one another, I was witness to two new authors putting it out there on display. Taking the risk. Getting it done. Doing what they set out to do. A 23 year old and a 73 year old both became first-time authors basically on a whim.

It wasn’t a coincidence I was invited to go to that book signing. It wasn’t a coincidence I was asked to help guide this young woman. It wasn’t a coincidence I decided to sit down and share my thoughts with you today.

We need to motivate one another. We need to remind ourselves that tomorrow is not even real. It doesn’t exist. All we have is right now.

We have the tools to create and take risks and act. Whether this speaks to you in terms of taking the vacation you’ve always wanted to take or talking to a patent attorney about your invention or telling someone you’ve been crushing on that you want to go on a date.

Whatever it is, take that next step now. It’s time. You’re ready. So … What will you do today?

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.” — Mark Twain

As a reader and writer, I’ve always greatly admired Fyodor Dostoevsky while also considering him and his works to be deep, layered and, certainly, dark. So today when I came across an optimistic quote full of beauty and inspiration, I was surprised to see his name attributed to it.

“Love all God’s creation, both the whole and every grain of sand. Love every leaf, every ray of light. Love the animals, love the plants, love each separate thing. If thou love each thing thou wilt perceive the mystery of God in all; and when once thou perceive this, thou wilt thenceforward grow every day to a fuller understanding of it: until thou come at last to love the whole world with a love that will then be all-embracing and universal.” — Fyodor Dostoevsky, from his book The Brothers Karamazov

Dostoevsky wasn’t just a celebrated novelist. He was a Russian boy whose mother died when he was just a teenager. He was a philosopher who was arrested for simply joining a literary group that discussed banned books. He was even sentenced to death after that arrest and saved at the last moment when that sentence was commuted. He then spent four years in a hard labor camp and six years in military service in exile.

This vast suffering doesn’t even touch on the romantic losses and other “more common” pains he endured. Yet here he is reminding us to love everything … reminding us that our perspective is within our control … reminding us that our happiness is somewhat of a choice … reminding us that loving everything is the only way.

It Is Your Choice

When you woke up today, did you put on a mask of fear? Did you first think of weighty decisions you had ahead? Did you feel a pang of loneliness? Anxiety? Did you watch the news and get angry about what you heard?

Or did you take a few deep breaths as your lungs filled with air and as your heart filled with gratitude? Did you feel fortunate for having another day on this Earth? Did you feel appreciation for the roof over your head, the car in the garage, the food in the fridge and the full contact list of treasured connections on your phone?

This is what we must remember: When our basic needs are met, our happiness is fully in our control. We get to select what we read, what we watch, what we put in our bodies and what risks we take. We get to choose which thoughts we want to emphasize and which ones we want to forget.

No Place for Negativity

Even despite war, growing antisemitism, affordability issues and more, we need to stop saying the world is falling apart. Stop focusing on the ugliness around you. This doesn’t mean that you ignore pain and suffering in the world. It means that is not what guides you. It is not how you nourish your brain before you go to sleep and when you start your day.

For as long as we have had the ability to communicate, analyze and philosophize, we have had troubles around the world and in our own personal lives. That is a part of life — suffering. However, what you choose to do with that suffering is completely in your control.

Choose to be light. Choose to be drama free. Choose to focus on the good.

Choose to be aware of the fact that many news stations and many politicians want you to be scared. There’s big money and big power when we can be controlled, and the best way to control people is to have them riddled with fear.

Or, on a less cynical note, there are at least high ratings to be won through the sharing of fear-based stories. Those tactics are referred to as “if it bleeds, it leads.” The scariest stories are undoubtedly the most memorable and most discussed.

So be fearless. Be confident. Be aware.

Retain control of your thoughts. Consider them more carefully, especially during these times of mindless scrolling and oblivious consumption.

“Love every leaf, every ray of light.”

It is your choice. It is your privilege. It is your gift.

There is a lot going on in the world. In reality, that is always the case. It’s a colorful, adventurous journey, splattered with pain and fear — joy and love — war and peace. No matter the decade, the year, the month, the day, what matters most is that we are here.

We are here with our anxiety, with our hopes, with our u…

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If you are living in the Midwest or East Coast, you probably have been missing the feeling of sunshine on your skin along with the ability to walk outside without yelling expletives. For me, these single-digit, grey Chicago days have been challenging to say the least. Today, however, I stumbled upon some warmth as I was re…

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“I’m going to FaceTime you now so please answer,” I frantically texted my youngest daughter Danielle as I sat on the floor beside our 14-year-old dog, Cosmo. I was worried this would be the last opportunity for her to see him as she was 1000 miles away at college.

My mind jumped to images of me at the vet’s office, holding a lethargic Cosmo in my arms a…

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I don’t know if this is a question of etiquette, of morals, of self importance or of blatant insensitivity, but there has been a stream of crazy, heinous dialogue occurring when celebrities unexpectedly pass. First, I was sickened by it when Charlie Kirk was assassinated…

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As Thanksgiving approaches, you may not simply be thinking about the food you will be eating or the family members you will be sitting beside. Instead, you may be thinking about the conversations you want to avoid. From ICE raids to socialist mayors to Israel’s right to exist, the topics are hotter than the turkey th…

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I arrived at the art gallery in Chicago’s Logan Square neighborhood where I was going to perform my short story in front of an audience. I had written the piece based on my interpretation of a piece of art. Colorful paintings and talented artists were everywhere, and I immediately was grateful to be surrounded by so much creativity.

When I checked in, th…

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What’s your biggest fear? Public speaking? Heights? Spiders? How about reading your original poem on stage in front of 300 strangers? Yep — that’s what I chose to do. Twice.

I’m a big proponent of saying yes to challenges and to unexpected offers. Take a risk. Be bold. Grab fearlessness by the …

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With abundant confidence, I will guess you are currently waiting for something. Maybe you are waiting for your retirement … for a bigger house … for your next big getaway. Or maybe you are waiting to meet your life partner … to get married … to get pregn…

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“A happy life must be to a great extent a quiet life, for it is only in an atmosphere of quiet that true joy dare live.” — Bertrand Russell

My friend Sue always has perfect-looking nails. When we have dinner plans, I sometimes have to sit on my chipped nail-polished hands to avoid her wrath. I do …

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It’s official. Today, Friday, June 20, is the first day of summer. It is also the Summer Solstice, the day with the longest stretch of sunlight all year. Woohoo … Let there be light!

This is also going to be an extra steamy weekend in Chicago and throughout the country. Heat warnings have gone out in my city, as the temps…

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We waited in the crowded line to get into the Anne Frank Museum. As is often the case, all tickets to the museum were sold out today. Luckily, we had our tickets and quietly moved toward the entrance.

I quickly noticed how many people were different from me – different ages, different races, different cultures. Yet, here we all stood in A…

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Have you ever been in a darkroom, developing your own pictures? Have you held a Nikon or Canon in your hand, fumbling with the camera’s shutter release and aperture? Or, like many young people today, have you only taken pictures on your beloved iPhone?

I have great memories of learning about photography in my teenage yea…

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In recent years, I have learned to shut my mouth more often than not. This is quite challenging for a writer who prides herself on being increasingly vulnerable and real. This is also taxing for a person who reads a lot, remains open-minded, absorbs endless information and seeks truth amidst the chaos.

Somehow, however, we have been witnessing the quick ending of friendships, the removal of family invitations and the blind judgement from people who disagree with another’s political stance. The surprise is not the fact that people vehemently disagree with one another — that’s been going on since we first gained the ability to voice opinions. The surprise is in the hateful, vengeful way that people have been acting toward those with different views.

Burning Cars as Freedom of Expression

It was hard for me to even type that ridiculous subtitle, yet that is the current state of our mental health breakdown: Many people (not just a select few who have been skipping their appointments with their mental health care professionals) believe that burning the cars of innocent people will somehow hurt the richest man in the world. They think that painting a swastika on Grandma Nancy’s Tesla will somehow upset the car’s creator. They think that keying Johnny’s car will let the world know: “We don’t stand with Elon Musk.”

Have people lost their minds? Have they become numb to the impact their actions have on their fellow neighbors? On other voters (many of whom were fellow Democrats who believe electric cars are good for our planet)? On innocent drivers who are trying to make a living and get to work on time? On parents who are rushing to the school’s pick-up line to get their children? On the environment as more auto parts have to now be made to repair the damaged vehicles? On the car insurance industry who will now have to raise rates in order to process the onslaught of claims?

Please, tell me I’m in a bad dream. I have felt that I was in a bad dream since October 8th — since the day after one of the worst attacks on Jewish people occurred in our lifetime. Instead of people mourning over the brutal murders of newborn Israeli babies … instead of young adults crying over the innocent concert-goers who got raped and murdered or taken into tunnels as hostages … instead of parents envisioning with horror their own children being ripped from their arms, many people immediately celebrated the terrorists’ attacks.

Will the Sane People Please Stand Up?

Many quickly stood by the sides of the terrorists (aka: rapists and murderers). They had anti-Israel flyers ready to go with images of paragliders. I could go on and on but, sadly, it’s not the blatant antisemitism that has me wanting to move to another galaxy. I’m used to “irrational Jew hatred.” Actually, that’s all I’ve ever known.

What I’m not used to is “irrational public figure hatred.” I still feel sick to my stomach when I see support for the man who openly murdered the CEO of UnitedHealthcare. There was actually a DEBATE about this issue. A debate about the murder of a father who worked for a company that many people detested. If you don’t like the way that UnitedHealthcare had a reputation for denying certain claims, then go with a different insurance provider or feel the pain you feel overall toward a non-perfect health system.

Do something to enact change. Start a fund for those who are denied life-saving claims. Don’t think, “hmmm, maybe I’ll kill the CEO of the healthcare company instead.”

With that irrational line of thinking, I’m surprised people who have lost loved ones to lung cancer haven’t murdered the heads of tobacco companies. I’m also surprised that people who have watched their partners die from obesity-related illnesses haven’t tried to strangle the creator of the Twinkie.

The hypocrisy and blatant stupidity is endless.

But, let’s head back to the antisemites for a minute … you know, the ones who demanded that their universities “divest from Israeli companies.” Well, guess what those students didn’t divest from? They didn't stop using social media — pretty much ALL of which was created by Jewish geniuses. They didn’t stop using instant cameras, word processing computers and mobile phones, all of which were also invented by Jewish people. They didn’t burn their teddy bears. (Yes, teddy bears came about in the early 1900s when a Jewish couple who were store owners created a toy bear for Theodore “Teddy” Roosevelt.)

Let’s Climb Back into a Figurative Tesla

So, back to Elon. He recently rescued two of our treasured astronauts who no one was able to get home from the International Space Station. They had been stranded there since June of 2024. Do the protestors outside of his dealership even know this story? Or do they only have ears and eyes for the stories that the richest man in the world is “out to get them” by trying to uncover fraud and waste within our own government?

Let me be very clear about something (and I’m going to be EXTRA clear since I fear that the minds of some of my peers have become contaminated, to say the least): You can dislike Elon Musk. You can hate the way “he” (obviously it’s a whole team) have seemed to flippantly cut jobs. You can think he’s a bad father or an overall whacko. You can even forget that every administration comes in and quickly cuts thousands and thousands of jobs. You can hate Donald Trump. You can despise Kamala Harris. You can believe stereotypes about religious groups or races if you choose to be so ignorant.

I don’t care! Just remain rational. Or, do something civil, professional and legal to take a step toward the positive change you want to see in the world.

Don’t hurt innocent people. Don’t burn cars. Don’t spray-paint dealerships. Don’t harm your neighbor and your own economy. Don’t give people reasons to have you committed to a mental hospital.

If you feel the need to voice your concern, then do so in an educated, mindful way. Don’t buy a Tesla! That’s a way you can impact the stock. Don’t purchase its vehicles.

Don’t vote for certain candidates. Choose not to date a Jewish person. Do whatever you want to personally do, as long as you’re not spreading violence, hate and endless stupidity.

Multiple-Choice Test Time

When I was a teen and I found out that the owner of Oberweis Dairy didn’t believe in abortions in the case of incest and rape, what do you think I did?

a.) Did I go to my neighbors’ houses, grab their glass milk bottles and throw them through their windows?

b.) Did I go to the Oberweis Dairy factory and vandalize it?

c.) Did I stop buying Oberweis products?

I beg you …

Please, please, please: Free me from fantasizing about traveling to a different planet or a different galaxy. Please consider adding to the restored health of our nation. Please consider being less judgmental (and even less hateful) toward others with differing political views. Please be openminded and willing to learn and grow. Please don’t trust many news sources that have clearly shown their extreme biases.

If you have read this far without “unfriending me” or without unsubscribing from my newsletter, then you have done your part. I truly thank you for your open mind and for your clear-headed wisdom.

I am endlessly grateful for your willingness to entertain my feelings, my fears and my hopes. I promise you I will entertain yours, as well, as long as you are not burning anything down or screaming for the demise of my people. Keep it safe and legal, folks. Keep it making sense.

Is that too much to ask?

On the 9th anniversary of my friend’s stem cell transplant, I share this post as a reminder to appreciate what we have and to honor my treasured friend.

We all have those trivial triggers in our day-to-day lives — those petty little things that irritate us. For some, it may be their kids leaving clothes all over their floors. For others, it may be guests wearing shoes throughout their homes. For you, it may be when people are talking loudly on their cellphones in public places.

For me, well, there are a few. But, one that has always gotten way too far under my skin is when people crack their gum. I find that habit to not only be so unattractive but also just beyond irritating. It bothers me so much that I have found myself fixating on the annoying sound and the disturbing visual of the mouth smacking, so much so that it has hampered my ability to focus on the present moment.

Even as a child, I remember being distracted and disturbed during a test if a loud gum chewer was sitting near me. I tried every technique to tune out the sound. Nothing worked. Still to this day, if my kids or even some adults are chewing loudly, I am known to stick out my hand and demand they spit out their gum.

Misophonia 101

It is important to note: there is a real condition called misophonia — it is, according to the Cleveland Clinic, a neurophysiological condition that causes people to have a decreased tolerance to certain sounds. Because it truly is a condition, I don’t judge myself too much for my inability to rise above and ignore certain sounds. Like I said, we all have something (or many things) that irritate us. At this point in my life, I just accept the fact that gum cracking and I will never have peace with one another.

Ironically, one of my favorite people is also one of the biggest culprits: my dear friend Susan Munic. If you know me well, you know I call her Sue Love (my daughter Danielle gave her that perfect name many years ago). You also know Sue as my friend who is currently battling Multiple Myeloma, a kind of blood cancer for which she just had a bone marrow transplant.

Sue has always been a great sport about my inability to deal with her gum chewing. We both have learned to plan ahead when spending time together. I fill my purse with mints that I can offer to her instead of gum. She tries to satiate her need to crack before I get in her car. There’s effort there on both of our parts.

We laugh about it all the time. She puts up with my intolerance. I put up with her nearly unbearable desire to smack, crack and chomp. And, of course, neither of us love the other any less for it.

Let Me See That Wad of Gum!

Well, tonight, I loved her MORE for it. Tonight, Sue allowed me to FaceTime with her while she was in the hospital. She shaved off her hair today because it was falling out in big clumps (as was expected at this point in her treatment).

For about 10 minutes, we talked as I admired the perfect shape of her head. I thought about how strong and brave and beautiful my “Sue Love” is as she told me about how she was feeling. Of course, she handled the shaving of her hair with her usual strength and grace.

As I just listened and looked, I was full of so much gratitude. I was grateful for the moment. I was grateful for seeing her face, her bald head, her beautiful smile. And, would you believe I was grateful to have the opportunity to see her chomp and crack her gum as we spoke? What a beautiful sight!

For two weeks, she has been in the hospital undergoing this life-saving treatment. With the risk of outside germs attacking her nearly non-existent immune system, no guests outside of her immediate family have been allowed to visit. I’ve been missing sitting by her side, which has become one of my favorite things to do.

So, I have savored all of our texts and phone conversations. But, tonight, I received the gift of our FaceTime conversation, and I received the gift of watching Sue chomp on her gum.

We laughed about it. She even zoomed in on her mouth so I could get a close-up view of her gum as we giggled together. We both knew the gum smacking was symbolic.

Who would have thought after all of these years of being disturbed by that sound that it would become one of the most treasured moments of my day?

Crack away, my sweetest Sue Love! I’ll still make you spit out your gum once many months have passed, I’m sure. But, I will forever be grateful for every opportunity in which you get to agitate the hell out of me by doing so.

NOTE: Nine years later, Sue is feeling great and still occasionally bothering me with her gum habits. I am beyond grateful every time she annoys me!