I didn’t want to worry my 83-year-old mom. But at the airport, before I got on the plane, I got a lecture about safety from her just like I did when I was 18, before heading down to Tijuana to the infamous Avenida Revolución street for a night of dancing with my friends.

With the one-year anniversary of Charlie Kirk’s assassination approaching, we all have to be concerned about our personal safety when we enter the arena.

Before the rally, I scanned the crowd for threats. I once worked at Juvenile Hall, and situational awareness is a skill I learned there.

That’s when I heard the trumpets and drums coming toward us.

They had bullhorns and were yelling, “No ICE, no KKK, no fascist USA!” They were waving transgender flags and Mexican flags and wearing all black from head to toe on a 100-degree Sacramento, California day.

That’s when I decided to investigate. I mean really, who protests exposing fraud?

I wanted to see these people face to face. The same people who regularly send me anonymous death threats from the comfort of their laptops on my social media pages.

That’s when things got sporty.

I walked among them, not speaking and not engaging with the counterprotesters. I even flashed a peace sign just to let them know I was only observing.

There were small men dressed in satanic robes and heavyset women wearing face masks, hats and sunglasses that concealed their identities. They carried signs that read, “No KKK!” and “No Trump! No Racists!”

That’s when I noticed that several of the counterprotesters disguised as Trump supporters.

As I was filming and observing, one of the fake Trump supporters blocked my path. Then a heavyset woman wearing a mask boxed me in. I livestreamed the whole thing here.

I was born in South Philly, home of Rocky Balboa. And though I have lived in California since I was four years old, as they say, “you can take the girl out of Philly, but you can never take the Philly out of the girl.”

I stood my ground.

That’s when the sweaty, large woman swung at me, trying to knock my phone down.

I stood my ground, and she swung again.

Fortunately, a Sacramento police officer called out to me to get on the other side of the police barrier for protection.

I walked back over to the rally as it was about to begin. All of the speakers were asked to stand with Nick Shirley.

Then something really cool happened. The crowd was calling out to him, and this remarkable young man, despite the threats against his life, walked over to shake hands with the people who came to see him. He took selfies with them and even signed autographs. I filmed the whole thing close up here. When a reporter asked him if he was ever concerned for his personal safety, he said, “Yes, sometimes.”

Then the chief of staff for a state legislator asked us to stand with Nick Shirley by the podium.

The chief of staff looked at me and said, “Amy, I want you right next to Nick Shirley.”

In that moment, thoughts about my personal safety were running through my mind. Part of me wanted to fade into the background, somewhere a sniper wouldn’t have a clear shot.

I had a decision to make.

Would I live in fear and blend into the background? Or would I demonstrate through my actions what I say I believe?

I believe a life lived in fear is no life at all.

So I stood next to Nick Shirley.

I want to thank everyone who prayed for safety for me, for Nick Shirley and for all of California.

We will not be silenced by Newsom’s attempts to strip us of our constitutional rights through his “Stop Nick Shirley Act.”

And we will not be silenced by people who threaten us for our beliefs.

Please help support our mission to save California by buying me a cup of coffee here or by subscribing to my Substack.

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The Supreme Court just delivered a landmark victory for women and girls. The immediate response from media outlets and politicians who framed the court decision as “anti trans” were out in force.

On the day of the Supreme Court victory I took a victory lap on my social media and fought the good fight against every argument telling women we should accept men in our locker rooms, we should accept men taking medals and state championships from girls, and the absurd idea that when it comes to sports, women should give up their rights to men.

The Supreme Court rightly upheld Title IX and the Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment, but the legal battle is only half the fight.

The cultural battle is happening every day on social media, in the workplace and in the classroom where women are shamed, gaslit, and told defending their rights is somehow hateful.

I’ve debated thousands of people on this issue. The absurd arguments never change. Neither should our response.

Here’s my playbook how you can answer them and win.

Rule #1: Reject the Frame

The first lie is the media’s framing.

ABC7 News wrote:

“The Supreme Court upheld state laws barring transgender girls and women from playing on school athletic teams…”

Wrong.

Biological boys are not banned from sports. They can still play sports. The question before the Supreme Court was whether states can preserve a girls’ category based on biological sex.

Don’t let them redefine the debate.

Response:

“They aren’t banning boys from sports. They’re protecting girls’ sports for girls.”

Rule #2: Don’t Let Them Tell You It’s “Just a Few Kids”

You’ll hear this constantly.

“It’s only a handful of transgender athletes.” No girls are being hurt.

Tell that to the thousands of girls who lost.

The biological male plaintiff in the West Virginia Supreme Court case, known as B.P.J., defeated more than 470 girls over 1,400 times and stole a girls’ state championship in shot put. Yes shot put.

That’s one boy.

One athlete affected hundreds of girls.

Response:

“It only takes one boy to displace hundreds of girls.”

Rule #3: Don’t Defend an Argument Nobody Made

After the ruling, one commenter on my social media wrote:

“Congratulations, you just opened the floodgates for every kid to undergo genital inspections…”

Nobody proposed genital inspections.

The Supreme Court didn’t.

The states didn’t.

Instead of defending boys competing against girls, they invented an argument nobody made.

I replied:

“Weird that you went straight to examining children’s genitalia as a solution.”

Response:

“I’m defending girls’ sports. You’re defending an argument nobody made.”

Rule #4: Don’t Let Them Shame You

Another favorite:

“Why are you so obsessed with what’s in people’s pants?”

No.

I’m defending girls.

Then I turn the question around.

1. Why is your side obsessed with giving healthy 12-year-old girls taxpayer-funded double mastectomies?

2. Why is your side obsessed with changing the legal definition of woman?

3. Why is your side obsessed with putting boys in girls’ locker rooms?

They’re the ones making gender ideology the center of every public institution. Never go on the defense. Never accept their false premises. Always make them defend what they believe.

Response:

“I’m defending girls’ rights. Why is your movement so obsessed with changing children’s bodies and redefining women?”

Rule #5: There Is No Right to Someone Else’s Spot

Rep. Suzanne Bonamici responded to the ruling by saying:

“All students should have the opportunity to participate in sports regardless of their gender identity.”

She thinks she sounds compassionate.

She willfully ignores the girl who loses.

When a biological boy makes the girls’ team, a girl gets cut.

When a biological boy qualifies for state championship, a girl stays home.

When a biological boy wins first place, a girl loses the championship she trained years to earn.

Girls disappear from this conversation.

The Supreme Court recognized they shouldn’t.

Response:

“When a boy takes a girl’s spot, she’s the one who loses her opportunity.”

Rule #6: Show Them the Scoreboard

One of the most astonishing claims you’ll hear is:

“There’s no evidence boys outperform girls in sports.”

No evidence?

We have over a century of evidence.

World records.

Olympic records.

NCAA records.

High school records.

If boys and girls performed the same athletically, there would never have been a need for separate girls’ sports.

The scoreboard has been proving biological differences for over 100 years.

Response:

“We have more than a century of athletic data. Compare the Olympic, world, collegiate, or high school records. Biology isn’t an opinion.”

Rule #7: They’ll Call You an Extremist

The moment you defend basic biology, they’ll hit you with: “You’re an extremist.”

Flip it.

Response:

“Wanting girls to have their own sports isn’t extreme. Forcing girls to compete against boys and share locker rooms with them? That’s extreme.”

Rule #8: They’ll Call You a Transphobe

They’ll scream “transphobe!” as soon as you speak up.

Response:

“I’m not afraid of men. I’m protecting girls from having to compete against them. Biology isn’t bigotry.”

Rule #9: The Suicide Card

They’ll tell you “Trans kids just want to live. They’ll commit suicide if you don’t let them play girls’ sports.”

Response:

We need to talk about girls’ mental health.

Early teen years are when girls are already struggling with body image, confidence, and self-worth. Sports are often their lifeline. Losing their spot on the team, their scholarship, or their state championship to a biological male can be absolutely devastating.

Response:

“Girls’ mental health matters too. Taking away their opportunities in sports can crush their confidence when they need it most.”

Rule #11: The Trump Card

Inevitably they will say something like, “oh yeah you must be a Trump supporter!”

When they bring up Trump, hit them with this:

“Donald Trump supports keeping women’s sports for women. Kamala Harris and Joe Biden both supported letting boys take girls’ spots. So tell me again, which side actually supports women and girls?”

Rule #12: “Trans Women Are Women”

They’ll try to shut down the entire debate with the ultimate circular claim: “Trans women are women, so they belong in women’s sports. End of discussion.”

Response:

“Calling a man a woman doesn’t magically erase his male puberty and size advantages. Repeating ‘trans women are women’ isn’t an argument — it’s a slogan that dodges the actual question of fairness for girls.”

Justice Clarence Thomas said:

Men and boys with gender dysphoria are not women or girls, even if they believe that they are. Sex is an immutable "biological" characteristic.

The radical left wins arguments by changing the subject and redefining language. They will name call you and try to put you on the defensive as you try to prove you aren’t a racist-homophobe-transphobe.

Don’t let them.

Bring every conversation back to the same question:

Who loses when a boy is allowed to compete as a girl?

The answer is almost always the same.

A girl. And that’s exactly why girls’ sports are worth protecting.

They can call us every name in the book and we will not only not back down and we will make them eat their own words with the truth.

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She called.

She emailed.

She pleaded for answers about what she believed were unsafe conditions at her children’s school, Fuerte Elementary.

Nothing.

No returned calls.

No returned emails.

According to Hansen, Superintendent David Miyashiro ignored her.

What started as concern over what appeared to be mold or mildew in her children’s classrooms soon turned into something much bigger.

As Hansen began talking with other parents and school employees, she started hearing similar stories. Roof leaks. Water intrusion. Cockroaches. Damaged ceiling tiles. Air quality concerns teachers say is impacting sick days and attendance.

She created an anonymous survey for teachers at Fuerte Elementary.

What she uncovered should concern every parent in California.

Nine teachers responded.

According to the survey:

• 89% reported concerns regarding mold, mildew, moisture, or water damage.

• 89% reported concerns about indoor air quality.

• 89% reported seeing cockroaches or pests.

• 78% reported damaged ceiling tiles.

• 67% reported water intrusion.

• 67% reported roof leaks.

• 67% reported excessive dust.

• 56% reported plumbing issues.

• 56% reported HVAC problems.

• 33% reported rodents or rodent droppings.

The numbers get even worse.

78% percent of teachers said facility conditions had caused concern for their own health.

Another 78% said they were concerned about student health.

Every teacher surveyed reported having submitted concerns regarding maintenance, sanitation, environmental, or facility issues.

Yet not one reported being highly satisfied with the response.

More than half said they had refrained from reporting concerns because they believed nothing would be done or feared negative consequences.

So Hansen kept digging.

She filed seven Williams Act complaints and submitted dozens of public records requests.

The Williams Act requires California schools to be clean, safe, and in good repair. She filed a petition.

Why was Superintendent David Miyashiro not returning her calls and emails? More about him later…

Then she contacted me.

So I did what I do.

I grabbed my iPhone.

At 8 a.m. I went to Fuerte Elementary and recorded a 60-second video.

The video exploded.

Hundreds of thousands of people watched it across Instagram, Facebook and X.

Thousands shared it. I encouraged parents to call the Superintendent’s office and they did.

Then something remarkable happened.

According to Hansen, just two hours after the video went viral, Superintendent David Miyashiro finally returned her calls.

Think about that.

For months, a concerned mother couldn’t get a response.

Not a phone call.

Not an email.

Nothing.

Then hundreds of thousands of people started paying attention.

And suddenly the superintendent found the time.

That’s when this story became about more than mold, mildew, rats, and cockroaches.

It became about accountability.

David Miyashiro is one of the highest-paid public education officials in the region. He makes more than the governor of California.

His total compensation exceeds $500,000 annually.

David Miyashiro has also been the subject of public controversy regarding district credit card spending. District records show nearly $400,000 in charges over less than two years, including hotel stays, meals, travel expenses, and trips to Hawaii and other destinations. The district has stated these were work-related expenses.

Miyashiro has also faced criticism for the use of a district-provided Lucid Air, a luxury electric vehicle reportedly costing taxpayers around $100,000.

And while questions continue to swirl around his leadership, Miyashiro has now filed to run for a seat on the San Dieguito Union High School District Board.

One person who did respond to the mom before my video went viral was Cajon Valley School Board Member Anthony Carnevale. He was the only school board member to respond.

In a written response, Carnevale called water intrusion and pest issues “serious health and safety problems” requiring real remediation and repair.

He praised Hansen’s efforts and called them exactly the type of grassroots advocacy local government was intended to encourage.

Most importantly, he acknowledged what every parent already knows.

There is no excuse for failing to maintain safe schools for children.

Then the story went national.

The New York Post picked it up. That’s Cajon Valley school board member Anthony Carnevale pictured below in the NY Post article who stepped up to help the mom.

What started with one concerned mother in East County was suddenly being discussed across America.

And then came another miracle.

Crews arrived at Fuerte Elementary and began replacing ceiling tiles that teachers had identified as concerns.

Funny how quickly government can move when enough people are watching.

This story isn’t really about ceiling tiles.

It isn’t really about mold.

It isn’t really about rats or cockroaches.

It’s about what happens when ordinary people refuse to back down.

One mom started asking questions.

Nine teachers came forward.

Parents demanded answers.

The public paid attention.

And suddenly the people in charge were forced to respond.

Because people in power don’t like scrutiny.

They don’t like citizen journalists.

They don’t like whistleblowers.

And they definitely don’t like California Mama Bears.

California Mama Bears are a force to be reckoned with.

And when our children are counting on us, we will never be silenced.

Dr. Henny Kupferstein, a policy analyst at the DOOGRI Institute and autistic, has released a report raising concerns about what she describes as fraud risk, waste, abuse, and neglect in California’s Medi-Cal autism system.

Her findings focus on San Diego County.

According to the report, autism rates in San Diego appear significantly higher than the national average, with estimates around 1 in 19 children compared to 1 in 31 nationwide. Dr. Kupferstein suggests that overdiagnosis may be one contributing factor.

She warns that, in some cases, diagnoses can be made quickly, including via brief telehealth evaluations. As she writes, once a diagnosis is made, “the child becomes the revenue-generating node through which technician time, supervision time, assessment time, and caregiver training time are all monetized.”

Ten Addresses. More Than Half the System.

According to the DOOGRI Institute report, more than 54 percent of autism service providers in San Diego are linked to just ten addresses.

Among them:

• 501 W Broadway, Suite 800

• 4719 Viewridge Ave, Suite 100

• 5333 Mission Center Rd, Suite 110

• 11650 Iberia Pl, Suite 130

The report notes that these locations do not appear large enough to support the volume of providers associated with them. Site observations cited in the report suggest many may function primarily as administrative or billing hubs rather than locations where services are consistently delivered.

$326 Million in Medicaid Payments

The report found that providers tied to these San Diego addresses accounted for approximately $326.1 million in Medicaid payments during the study period.

More than $175 million of that total was associated with companies headquartered outside California, including entities in Oregon, Alaska, Ohio, and Florida.

The report identifies several organizations connected to these billing patterns, including:

• ABS Kids, associated with approximately $84.6 million

• Easter Seals Southern California, approximately $49.4 million

• Positive Behavior Supports Corporation, approximately $26.4 million

• Blue Sprig / Florida Autism Center, approximately $8.6 million

In multiple instances, the report describes what it characterizes as “impossible billing patterns,” including one example of nearly 330 hours billed within a single day-equivalent period.

Billing Without Service Codes

The report also identified six entities that collectively received approximately $157.1 million while billing zero service-specific codes, despite being connected to San Diego providers.

The largest among them, Central City Concern in Oregon, accounted for approximately $94.9 million.

The report does not conclude that fraud occurred. However, it states that these patterns raise questions about how services are classified, billed, and overseen.

When the Numbers Don’t Add Up

The structure described in the report is straightforward.

A diagnosis can trigger a cascade of billable services. Those services are often delivered by lower-paid technicians, while supervisors review and sign off.

According to the report, some providers appear to generate around $2 million annually. When broken down across a typical full-time schedule, that equates to roughly $960 per hour.

The report does not present this as a billing rate, but as a comparison that raises questions about whether staffing levels, service hours, and documented care align with the volume of billing.

The report also identified patterns including:

• Billing for hours that would be physically impossible

• Payments routed through out-of-state entities

• Use of billing codes that may not match the services provided

The report emphasizes that, even when fraud is not established, these are widely recognized indicators of a system that may be vulnerable to abuse.

A System Built to Expand

At its core, the report raises concerns about incentives.

It suggests the current structure may reward:

• More diagnoses

• More service hours

• More billing

Not necessarily better outcomes for children.

Dr. Kupferstein argues that the system may allow for:

• Waste, through excessive or unnecessary services

• Abuse, through billing that may not align with care delivered

• Neglect, through inadequate supervision

All funded by taxpayer dollars.

What Happens Next

The report does not make legal conclusions.

Instead, it calls for further investigation.

The report urges federal agencies to:

• Audit billing practices

• Review service documentation

• Freeze payments where appropriate

• Recover funds if improper claims are identified

The conclusion is not that fraud has been proven.

The conclusion is that the patterns identified warrant serious scrutiny.

The question now is whether the system reflects actual care being delivered… or something else entirely.

Gavin Newsom’s “master plan” to see more “trans kids” with your tax dollars. As California faces a deficit, Democrat lawmakers pushed a last-minute hearing on Monday for $26 Million to sterilize & mutilate children with medical procedures that are not safe and not effective. »READ ALL ABOUT THE SHOCKING HEARING with video clips HERE«

My mom called me and said, “Whatever you do, don’t turn on the TV.”

I asked her why.

She said, “The hospital has a new commercial, and it will upset you.”

It had been four weeks since my baby died at the hands of a greedy HMO whose multiple mistakes led to a perfect storm ending in her death.

I turned on the TV anyway, not realizing how bad it was going to be.

The hospital had a bad reputation. The mere mention of its name brought stories like, “Oh yeah, they killed my father,” or “They didn’t believe I was having a heart attack,” or “You never see a doctor there.”

It was 1998. The internet was still in its infancy. TV was still the dominant force for advertising and entertainment. It didn’t take long before the commercial came on.

The commercial was cinematic. Dramatic.

It opened with a woman in labor, her husband holding her hand. Dramatic music played. A voiceover began:

“What if something goes wrong?”

A close-up of the mother’s face. A tear rolled down her cheek. She knew something was wrong with her baby.

Then a team of doctors rushed in. The baby was saved.

The message of the commercial was clear: medical decisions are made by doctors, not bureaucrats or insurance gatekeepers.

But that’s not what happened in my case. It was the exact opposite.

As the commercial ended on a happy note for that family, I sat in the darkness of my living room, lit only by the glow of the TV, with empty arms where a baby should have been. The rain pounding outside was relentless. El Niño had battered Southern California every day since the morning my daughter was born.

My reaction to the commercial was fast and furious.

I had to do something.

I had to confront the monster who took my baby when she was only three days old.

I opened the refrigerator and grabbed every egg I could find. I grabbed thick felt-tip markers. I asked my husband to drive me to the HMO’s medical office in the dark of night, in the pouring rain. Not knowing what else to do for his grieving wife, he obliged.

It was nighttime and the offices were closed.

The same offices where they had sent me for daily emergency grief counseling.

As El Niño raged, I stood soaking wet in front of that dark cold glass building and unleashed every egg at it’s glass walls, demanding it give me my baby back.

Drenched, still wearing maternity clothes that stuck to my postpartum body, I walked over to the lighted sign with the hospital logo, took out my marker, and wrote one word:

Killers.

The ground was slick. I slipped on the grassy slope and fell to my knees as water rushed around me.

Every year after, from the anniversary of her birth to the day she died three days later, I drank. Those days were dark. A bottomless sadness, drowning in a sea of alcohol.

In 2004, I had been a Christian for just two months. I was sitting in church when the pastor announced they were buying that medical office building up the slope. Yes, the same medical office where I went for emergency grief counseling.

The pastor declared, “The hospital signs are coming down, and soon the new church signs were going up!”

I remember wanting to shout “Amen” or “Hallelujah,” but I couldn’t bring myself to say it. Hey, I was still a new Christian.

A couple months later, Easter was coming.

By spring, the church had already begun holding services in that building, but I had successfully avoided attending any services there. On Easter Sunday, I volunteered as a greeter at the main campus. I stayed through the service, helping where I could.

Then I realized something.

If I didn’t go to that new building, the alternate campus where the last service of the day was being held, I would miss my first Easter service as a Christian.

So I went.

I walked into the building, the same building where I attended grief counseling. The same building I had pelted with eggs but I really wanted to throw rocks at. As I moved down that narrow hallway, the memories came flooding back. The same hallway I had walked, grief-stricken, postpartum, with crashing hormones, like a zombie on the highest doses of antidepressants they could prescribe, on my way to emergency counseling.

At the end of that hallway were the double doors to the new sanctuary.

I opened them and took a seat.

Then it hit me.

I was sitting in the exact place where I had once gone for grief counseling. The place I had gone to for healing, from people who could never heal me.

That same place, where they dispensed meaningless platitudes and pushed pharmaceuticals at the highest doses, was never going to bring peace.

God can take the place of your deepest, darkest sorrow and turn it into a blessing and restoration. Jesus did it for me, and He can do it for you. Happy Easter my friends.

I am a California Mama Bear who lost a child and now I fight for all kids. Please consider subscribing to support my work on Substack to keep these articles free for those who cannot afford it.

Late one night, I received whistleblower tip that a student at Torrey Pines High School in San Diego, California had been suspended for posting a sign that read:

“We ❤️ ICE ~ Real Americans.”

That was it.

No threats. No profanity. No disruption.

Just a piece of paper measuring 8 1/2 x 11 inches.

But the school didn’t treat it that way.

According to the suspension notice, the student was accused of:

“harassment”

“threats”

“intimidation”

They even claimed the piece of paper created a “clear and present danger” and a “hostile or offensive educational environment.”

For a message with a heart on it.

At the same time, on the same campus, other students were openly displaying signs that said:

“If You’re an I.C.E. Agent Ya Mom’s a Hoe!!”

“F*CK ICE”

“ICE is KKK spelled differently”

No suspension.

No consequences.

I posted it on X and Instagram…

And it went viral.

That’s when everything changed.

Nationally recognized free speech attorneys at The Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression (FIRE) saw the post.

They stepped in. They took the case.

Then the school responded.

Torrey Pines High sent an email to parents acknowledging there had been “significant conversation on social media.”

They claimed:

“It has been suggested that disciplinary actions were taken based on political viewpoints. This is inaccurate.”

They said they do not discipline students for expressing their beliefs.

But the documents told a different story.

The school’s own suspension notice proved the student was punished for expressing a political viewpoint.

And only one viewpoint.

Eight days after my original post went viral…

Torrey High School Principal Rob Coppo resigned.

Then came the legal reality.

Once FIRE attorneys got involved, the district had no choice.

They reversed the suspension.

And they will expunge it from the student’s record.

That outcome didn’t happen by accident.

It happened because:

A whistleblower spoke up

The truth went public

And powerful legal advocates stepped in to enforce the Constitutional free speech rights of students.

Let’s be clear about what this case shows.

A student was labeled a threat.

Accused of harassment.

Told his speech created danger.

All for expressing a political opinion the school didn’t like.

That’s not about safety.

That’s not about order.

That’s about control.

And without the bravery of a whistleblower, the power of social media and legal intervention by powerhouse attorneys, nothing would have happened.

Instead, the student’s rights were preserved.

Because free speech still matters. Even in Gavin Newsom’s California.

I am a California Mama Bear who lost a child and now I fight for all kids. I will never back down to intimidation by actual fascists who call us fascists. Please consider subscribing to support my work on Substack to keep these articles free for those who cannot afford it.

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After I announced Protect Your Child From Classroom Brainwashing event, I got word from an elected official that labor unions were planning to disrupt it.

Not protest.

Disrupt.

The Restore San Diego event was March 30, 2026 at a San Diego church. During Easter week.

And what was so dangerous to the labor unions that they threatened to disrupt our event?

We were informing parents that they have a constitutional right, protected under the Fourteenth Amendment’s Due Process Clause, to direct the upbringing, education, and care of their children. It’s recognized as a fundamental parental right, and we were there to provide the legal resources to help them exercise it.

The panel featured Paul Jonna, a Supreme Court winning attorney for parents rights who just beat Gavin Newsom and Rob Bonta at the highest court in the land with a $4.5 Million dollar judgment that protects a parent’s right to know if teachers are trying to sexually transition their children as young as 5 without their knowledge or consent.

The panel also featured the Andrew Hayes, an elected school board member from the Lakeside Union School District who has been a tireless advocate and hero for parental rights since Newsom’s lockdowns.

That’s it.

Information.

Rights guaranteed under our constitution.

And for that, they wanted to prevent our event from even happening.

I sent word back to the extremists: if they chose to disrupt our event, they would be Don Lemoned.

And I reminded them of the The Freedom of Access to Clinic Entrances Act (FACE Act), a federal law prohibiting the use of force, threat of force, or physical obstruction to injure, intimidate, or interfere with anyone obtaining or providing reproductive health services, including abortion, or exercising religious freedom at places of worship.

They also sent trolls to register for our free event to take up seats from parents who wanted to be there.

So we hired armed security.

Yes.

Armed security.

To hold a parents’ rights event at a Southern California church during Easter week in the United States of America.

After the event, security told me agitators had been circling the parking lot, trying to decide if they could make a move. Then they saw our security, who looked like they were straight out of central casting, and the leftists, complete with purple hair, also straight out of central casting, backed off.

The same people screaming about “democracy” are the ones trying to shut down parents from even hearing their rights.

They call us extremists.

But who is trying to intimidate families?

Who is trying to silence speech?

Who is trying to control what parents are allowed to know about what is being taught to their own children?

It’s about intimidation and control.

That’s fascism.

You shouldn’t need armed security to stand up for your kids.

But in Gavin Newsom’s California…

You do.

I am a California Mama Bear who lost a child and now I fight for all kids. I will never back down to intimidation by actual fascists who call us fascists. Please consider subscribing to support my work on Substack to keep these articles free for those who cannot afford it.

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I saw the “No Kings” protests this weekend. The signs. The chants. The fake outrage. And I couldn’t help but think… where were these people in 2020 when Gavin Newsom was acting like a king?

Many of the same people now screaming “No Kings” were cheering on firing people who didn’t submit to the COVID shot, were perfectly okay with the mental health suffering of children due to extended school closures for political reasons, and supported California legislation that would have permanently banned children who did not get the COVID shot and banishing them to permanent Zoom school.

Up until the George Floyd riots, I had stayed mostly silent. I had questions about the lockdowns. A lot of questions.

On May 13, Governor Gavin Newsom “reopened” California beaches. So I took my then 9-year-old son to La Jolla Shores so he could boogie board. He had been stuck in Zoom school, cooped up for months. The beach was open. But the parking lots were closed.

“Guarding the parking lot” there was a San Diego Police Department car. A parking enforcement cart. Even a Border Patrol vehicle. Apparently, COVID was rampant in beach parking lots but not side streets. The COVID insanity only got worse as we walked toward the ocean.

I remember seeing the ocean for the first time in months instead of a screen and breathing a sigh of relief as I watched my son celebrate with his boogie board over his head as he ran straight into the waves. Pure joy. I set up my beach chair in front of the lifeguard tower so I could watch him. And that’s when a lifeguard approached me, a very good-looking one who could have been cast in a Baywatch movie, and he told me I couldn’t sit there.

Confused, I said I thought the beach was open?

He said if I wanted to sit, I could go farther down the shore where he couldn’t see me.

I looked at him and said, “But then you won’t be able to see my son.”

So I did what any good mother would do for a 9-year-old who had been cooped up on Zoom school and hasn’t been able to play for three months. I didn’t sit. I stayed in motion. For 90 minutes, I moved side to side in the sand so my son could stay in the water, and I complied with COVID tyranny insanity.

I can report that my dance moves successfully prevented COVID that day.

And then two weeks later came the George Floyd, Black Lives Matter riots.

And then the COVID narrative flipped.

Public health officials told us that if you protested at a ReOpen rally, you were a “super spreader” and a threat to public safety. But suddenly… it was acceptable to protest, loot, and burn buildings because racism was declared a public health crisis.

Somehow COVID didn’t apply to those protestors.

Then on May 30, 2020, three buildings were burned down just two miles from my home in La Mesa, California. The morning after, at 6 a.m., I rushed to La Mesa Village to see if my church had survived. It stood in the Vons shopping center. Windows smashed. Businesses looted. Here is a photo I took on May 31, 2020 of a burned out vehicle parked in front of La Mesa City Hall.

From there, I went to 3 still-burning buildings. Chase Bank. The Randall Lamb building. Union Bank. I stood in the middle of it. It looked like a war zone, like a missile strike in an American city.

And then I saw her.

A woman walking toward the burning bank… under an overhang that was still in flames.

I yelled, “Stop! You’re walking under the overhang, it is going to collapse!”

She turned to me. Blank stare. And said, “My safety deposit box is in there. I’ve lost everything.”

Then the National Guard was deployed to my city. We were under nightly curfew. 6:30 p.m. The constant beat of police helicopters was an incessant pounding drum over our homes for the next seven days. We received alarming text messages from the government ordering us to shelter in place. Not suggestions. Orders.

And then, two weeks later, I had a moment I will never forget.

I was standing in my kitchen, feeling depressed about the state of the world, honestly. The lockdowns had no end in sight, and I knew they were being used politically. But then it hit me. I wasn’t depressed. I felt powerless.

I knew that if I spoke up, it would cost me. My job. My reputation. The attacks. It would be painful. Because at that time, if you questioned lockdowns, you were labeled. A conspiracy theorist. A racist. A selfish murderer.

Then I saw myself 20 years in the future asking, “Why didn’t you speak up?” Next, I saw myself at 18 saying, “I thought we were going to do something when we grew up.”

And I knew.

It would be far more painful to stay silent than to speak. I could not go on living a life of quiet desperation.

So I threw my hands up and said out loud, “Okay God… I know I’m supposed to do something. Show me what to do.”

And then I started with baby steps.

I spoke out on my personal Facebook page. High school friends I had not seen in decades unfriended me. Every day, I watched the San Diego County daily press conferences led by County Supervisor Nathan Fletcher, who was using them for his own political career, watched him demonize and name call anyone who questioned the county’s insane public health orders and fact-checked the county in real time. And after every Facebook post, I signed it with “triple fact checked by Amy Reichert, California Private Investigator license number #21006.”

Then I found out about a small meet-up in Balboa Park. Five women. That was the beginning of ReOpen San Diego.

Our first ReOpen Save San Diego rally came in late 2020 when Gavin Newsom introduced the color-coded tier system. While the rest of the country was reopening, California was going to be locked down harder and we knew we needed to take action. The legislature wasn’t even meeting. Gavin Newsom ruled through executive power. Like a king.

Our kids were an important part of our rally too.

In 2021, San Diego police officers came to us asking for help. The city was about to fire every single cop and firefighter who didn't comply with the COVID shot mandate. We organized rallies and press conferences. Cops could lose their jobs if they publicly spoke out so we organized a rally at City Hall with 1000 people. Laid out 500 pairs of boots to symbolize the loss of first responders. And because of that, they kept their jobs. That didn’t happen everywhere. In Los Angeles, police and firefighters were fired for not taking the shot. It’s 2026, and many of their cases are still being dragged through the courts.

Then in November 2021, the San Diego City Council passed an unconstitutional ordinance. If you didn’t get the COVID shot, you couldn’t work for the city. You couldn’t serve on boards or commissions. There was even talk of banning people who didn’t get the COVID shot from attending San Diego City Council meetings. And here’s the kicker: the law that was passed said you couldn’t even hold public office.

As my ReOpen San Diego co-founders and I decided next steps, I said it then: “This is the hill we die on.”

We filed a federal lawsuit. We knew no one was coming to save us.

And in 2023… we won.

But even by 2023, it wasn’t over.

I got a call from staff at San Diego Community College. They told me the board had started firing employees. Two had already been terminated by the board in January.

At the same time, Chancellor Carlos Cortez was openly bragging at public board Zoom meetings about how many COVID shots he had taken and how many times he had caught COVID, while pushing to fire anyone who didn’t comply, saying their mere presence on college campuses posed a health and safety threat.

I told those teachers I had their back and said, “I will throw everything and the kitchen sink at them.”

And we did. Press conferences. Call campaigns. Emails. Fifty people showing up at board meetings.

Carlos Cortez called me an extremist.

At the last board meeting I attended, those employees were on the chopping block again. But something changed. The agenda items for their firings were removed at the last moment.

We won.

But one agenda item remained. A closed session to discuss the employment of the chancellor.

I turned to the teachers and said, “Wouldn’t it be interesting if it was Carlos Cortez who loses his job instead of you?”

He wound up resigning shortly after.

After everything I witnessed. After the lockdowns. The mandates. The curfews. The double standards. The misinformation coming from the government in collusion with legacy media while they branded us as misinformation.

Now I see people in the streets chanting: “No Kings.”

The “No Kings” protestors don’t get to rewrite history. They don’t get to pretend they were always on the side of freedom. Because when it mattered most… many of them chose control. They chose to violate our constitutional rights, and they did it with glee, knowing that the constitutional rights they were violating only applied to their political enemies.

My Substack stays open and paywall free because of readers like you. I’m incredibly grateful to those who support this work. If you’re able to become a paid subscriber, thank you for making it possible.

—Amy

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Photo: Dave Gatley / FEMA

The San Diego medical examiner called with devastating news.

After the hospital conducted its own autopsy on my daughter, we paid for a second one through the county. We needed to be sure the hospital wouldn’t try to cover up her death and how they caused it. The medical examiner told us there was really nothing left of her do an autopsy on.

I was a week overdue with my first child. A daughter. Her name, would be Ashley.

At the same time, California was bracing for El Niño. A Biblical storm system phenomena event that only comes once every seven years. The kind that floods homes, tears apart historic piers, and leaves entire landscapes wiped out when it’s over.

The local T.V. weathermen kept warning, “El Niño is coming.”

I would laugh and say, “No… La Niña is coming. My Ashley.”

Five weeks before her birth, my father died from complications of Multiple Sclerosis at just 56 years old. I sat beside him in his hospice bed, eight months pregnant, saying goodbye as Christmas music was piped in the background.

At his funeral, I stood next to the gaping hole in the ground that would be his grave. The Rabbi looked at me and said, “Behold the cycle of life. As Amy’s father is buried, his grandchild will be born into the world.”

That promise is what got me through losing my father, but it was grief delayed.

El Niño was late. Even the weathermen were second guessing themselves.

Ashley was late too.

A week overdue, I went in for routine testing. They performed a non-stress test, monitoring her heartbeat. Every time she kicked, I clicked a button. Her heart responded exactly how it should.

They told me, “She’s perfectly healthy. A normal, active baby.” She passed the test with flying colors.

Then they did an ultrasound to check my amniotic fluid. It measured at 5 cm. According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, that’s the threshold where labor should be induced.

“Come back at 5 PM. We’ll induce.”

As I arrived at the hospital, a light rain hit my cheek as I walked with my mom from her car toward the sliding glass doors.

El Niño had finally arrived.

What happened next was an HMO nightmare. The stuff you hear about and never think it will happen to you. It happens to other people.

From the start, the labor and delivery intake was chaos.

There weren’t enough doctors.

Nurses were overwhelmed.

Midwives were being pulled in from counties hours away.

Later, we would learn the HMO had lost hundreds of millions of dollars and was delivering over 100 more babies a month than they had staff to handle.

They knew.

I didn’t. I trusted them.

I kept telling the nurses I was in labor. They didn’t believe me because the monitor said I wasn’t. Instead of checking, they gave me morphine for the pain.

Eventually, I was moved to a room with a nurse assigned one-on-one.

She watched my daughter’s heart rate drop into the 30s.

And did nothing.

She didn’t tell me or my mom or my husband in the room.

At one point, she stepped into the hallway and asked for help. She was told to go back in and handle it herself.

Two and a half hours before Ashley was born, a midwife walked in.

I had never consented to a midwife. I always wanted a doctor.

I was told the doctors were busy.

The midwife said she didn’t believe I was in labor because the monitor didn’t show it. She ordered an epidural so she could insert an internal monitor.

Then, as she placed it, she suddenly screamed:

“Oh my God! You’re 10 centimeters. Fully effaced. Start pushing!”

I had been in labor the entire time.

No one had even checked.

Two hours later, with my husband filming with our camcorder we saved up to buy just for her birth what should have been the happiest moment of our lives, our daughter was born.

She was purple.

Lifeless.

Floppy.

The midwife said, “She’s just surprised to be here.”

Seconds later, another nurse rushed in, looked at the fetal heart strip, and shouted:

“What is this strip?!”

That’s when they called a CODE PINK.

Suddenly the room filled. They rushed Ashley to the NICU.

My husband and my mom ran after her.

I was left alone.

Minutes after giving birth.

Paralyzed from the epidural. I had gone from the height of expectation of the arrival of my first born to shock.

The midwife came back into the room, leaned heavily over me, and said:

“If there’s anything you think I did wrong, tell me now.”

I was in shock. I didn’t even know what had gone wrong.

Two agonizing hours later, a neonatal doctor came into my room.

She told me Ashley had suffered global brain damage.

If she survived, she would never walk, never talk. She would be a vegetable for the rest of her life.

That’s when I let out a sound I never want to hear again.

A raw, primal cry.

The kind a Mama Bear makes when she has lost her cub. It almost didn’t sound human.

I remember trying to hold it in so I wouldn’t scare the other mothers on the floor.

Outside, the storm was raging.

El Niño had arrived.

There was a Before and an After. And now I was in the After that would shape who I became at first for the worse, and then for the better. A Mama Bear on a mission. Here’s what happened next.

Not in a high school civics debate.

Not in a college classroom.

An elementary school. In San Diego, California.

That’s exactly what was found at a charter school named High Tech Explorer Elementary.

After a concerned parent reached out to me for help, I posted the photo of the ABOLISH ICE poster outside a third-grade classroom on X. I asked a simple question: “Why is this being presented to young children in a public school?”

After the post went viral, the unnamed third-grade teacher responded by adding even more political signage outside the classroom. Larger. Louder. Impossible to miss.

The posters include messaging like “No Pasaran” and a larger poster that read “ICE Out of Our Schools and Communities.”

And it didn’t end with posters.

Children were even brought into it.

Students were encouraged to create their own signs, including one that read: “I.C.E out of our water = a safe place.” This clearly shows that the child did not even understand the difference between ice and ICE.

Parents Ask Questions

Parents at the school come from all walks of life. First-generation Americans with Mexican immigrant parents who came to the United States legally. Parents who work in immigration enforcement.

Parents met with school administrators on March 17, 2026, hoping for clarity.

What they got instead raises even more questions.

According to the family, the charter school acknowledged:

Then High Tech Explorer Elementary BANNED All Parents From Campus

In an email sent to families, High Tech Explorer announced that due to “safety and security concerns,” because of the original photo all adults are now restricted from the entering campus during school hours.

Parents are not allowed inside their child’s classroom.

Parents must drop their children off at the playground, not even allowed at the door of the classroom.

A parent shares a photo from inside a public school.

The post gains attention and parents found out what is really going on inside their child’s school.

And the response is not transparency. It’s punishment.

The school says this is about safety and minimizing disruption.

But what exactly is the disruption?

Parents seeing what’s inside the classroom?

Or the public asking questions about it?

I don’t just expose what is really going on in public taxpayer-funded schools. I take action. Please join me at my next Restore San Diego event:

Join me for a FREE event with FREE childcare featuring the attorney who just won a major parental rights case at the U.S. Supreme Court, along with school board members who are fighting for parents and standing up for kids.

Monday, March 30, 2026
6:00 PM, doors open at 5:30 PM

Grove Church
4562 Alvarado Canyon Road, Suite E
San Diego, CA 92120

This is a free event with free childcare and pizza will be served!
Please RSVP to reserve your seat HERE.

I keep my Substack open with no paywalls so important information reaches everyone. When you become a paid subscriber, you make that possible for those who cannot afford to give. Your support helps expose fraud, waste, and abuse and keeps this work independent so people can see what is really happening inside our government. Thank you.

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Imagine a real life moment that you know will go viral. Walking up to a Learning Center in California with Nick Shirley in a run down strip mall in City Heights, a neighborhood in San Diego was one of those moments.

Multiple signage on the learning center says “Madina Learning Center”, but the actual name in state records is “Medina Learning Center”. If you are a parent and you want to search their records before placing your child there, the state requires that you have the exact name spelled correctly.

Before we ever knocked on the door, I had already done what I always do. I pulled every state inspection report. I even reviewed the 6 inch licensing file in person at the Community Care Licensing Division (CCLD) at the San Diego Regional office. I looked at the patterns.

And there was a pattern.

Over and over again, inspectors showing up unannounced to a facility licensed for 39 children… and finding only a handful.

Sometimes six.

Sometimes seven.

Sometimes five.

Sometimes less.

But on paper, enrollment told a very different story.

Let’s start with the basics.

This facility is licensed for 39 children.

On November 21, 2024, during a full-day unannounced inspection, inspectors found 7 children present.

Not 39.

Seven.

Three staff members were supervising in a single classroom. The outdoor play area hadn’t been used for months due to reported homeless activity. Construction materials were accessible to toddlers. Staff didn’t have current CPR or First Aid certification.

And then came the serious violations.

Three individuals, including staff, were present without criminal background clearance.

That’s a Type A violation. HSC § 1596.871(c)(1)(A). Immediate risk.

Civil penalties totaling $1,100 assessed for Type A violations.

The facility was ordered to remove children and cease operations until compliance was verified.

Let that sink in.

Shut Down… Then Back Open

Thirteen days later, there was an office meeting on 12/04/2024 at the Community Care Licensing Division (CCLD) at the San Diego Regional office

The violations were reviewed. The facility reported they were working on corrections.

By January 28, 2025, the state came back.

This time: Only 9 enrolled, 6 present.

Everything was marked “corrected.”

No enforcement action.

Case closed.

Except it wasn’t.

The state came back on August 12, 2025.

Another unannounced visit. More violations.

An assistant director had been working 2 to 3 months, five days a week, without fingerprint clearance.

Repeat violation.

Another Type A violation. HSC § 1596.871(c)(1)(A) Uncleared individual employed and present. Repeat violation.

This time, BIG fine:

$4,000.

Six weeks later, the state came back on 9/18/2025 and enrollment numbers numbers TRIPLED. This is after they lost an assistant Director and were fined $4000.

Enrollment suddenly jumped to full capacity: 39 children.

But when inspectors showed up?

6 children present.

The state came back AGAIN on 9/26/2025.

7 children present.

And the violations.

Lifetime-excluded individual present despite prior notice.

Children napped in pitch-black room.

No CPR/First Aid-certified staff present.

No fully qualified teacher supervising children.

Deficiencies Cited

Type A: HSC § 1596.8897(a)

Type B: CCR §§ 101216(f), 101216.1(c)(1), 101239(d)

Enforcement Actions

$500 civil penalty assessed.

VISIT 7 10/13/2025

Report fails to mention enrollment and instead opts for capacity of 39. 5 children present.

Another violation. Type B: CCR § 101229(a)(1)

Child exited facility 2 to 3 steps without supervision.

VISIT 8, 15 days later…

4 children present. Report doesn’t mention enrollment instead opts for capacity of 39

VISIT 9 11/17/2025

5 children present.

The enrollment stayed at 39.

After my posts went viral on X, and President Trump reposted me the state came back on 2/12/2026.

During a February 12, 2026 unannounced inspection, Medina Learning Center was cited for 15 deficiencies, including a Type A violation for leaving seven children, including infants and preschoolers, in the care of a staff member whose qualifications could not be verified in an unsecured room with a broken baby gate and access to outside doors. Inspectors also cited the center for an unusable toddler room with structural damage, lack of accessible drinking water, missing first aid supplies, inadequate food, no toilet paper or paper towels for children, improper diaper disposal, toddlers commingled with preschoolers, failure to provide children’s and personnel records, and the absence of a qualified substitute director when the director was off site.

VISIT 11 2/26/2026
ZERO ENROLLED CHILDREN

VISIT 12 3/10/2026
39 ENROLLED CHILDREN, 5 children present

Violations identified on March 10, 2026

HSC 1596.841

Facility did not maintain a current child roster

“Inspectors found the child roster was not current because child C1 was not accounted for.”

According to the YMCA of San Diego data, at approximately $293 per week per child, a facility with full enrollment could generate:

Over $11,000 per week

Nearly $50,000 per month

Around $594,000 per year

That’s for one location.

I’m a state-licensed investigator in California. I’m not a prosecutor, judge, or jury. I ask questions based on hundreds of hours of research in state records the public has every right to see.

Instead of answers, the response is attacks. Legacy media and politicians protect the system and label citizen journalists “racist” for asking questions they are supposed to be asking.

That should concern everyone.

I’m not stopping. If you value this work, consider becoming a paid subscriber.

At 23, Nick Shirley has built a national following by going where most journalists won’t. For the last two years, he’s been documenting what’s happening on the ground across the country, especially at the southern border. But it was his recent investigation in Minnesota that changed everything.

Nearly 4 million views.

State records showing daycare facilities reporting dozens of enrolled children… while inspectors repeatedly found none.

That’s when people started asking a bigger question.

If this is happening in Minnesota, what is happening in California?

So I started digging.

As a state licensed investigator and lifelong Californian, I went straight to the source: California Department of Social Services daycare inspection reports. Not headlines. Not opinions. The actual records.

I reviewed them alphabetically. One by one.

It didn’t take long to see a pattern.

Inspectors showing up unannounced. Facilities claiming dozens of enrolled children. And over and over again, inspectors documenting only a handful of kids… sometimes none at all.

The same red flags. Different locations.

That’s when I reached out to Nick Shirley.

People had been asking him to come to California for months. I showed him what I was finding.

He didn’t hesitate.

He came.

Before we ever knocked on a single door, I had already done 100s of hours of work.

One of our first stops was Medina Learning Center in San Diego. The sign outside read “Madina Learning Center.” Even the name didn’t match.

But the real story was in the records.

Inspection after inspection documented the same thing. Low attendance during unannounced visits. Yet enrollment numbers on paper as high as 39.

In August 2025, the state cited the facility after discovering an assistant director had been working for months without a background check. A $4,000 fine followed.

Then something changed.

Enrollment numbers suddenly jumped to full capacity. They tripled by the time the state showed up only weeks after the staggering fine.

But inspectors kept showing up… and still found only a few children.

That disconnect raises serious questions.

And no one seems to be asking them.

Traveling with Nick is not normal.

We met his security team in a gas station parking lot. Three men. Armed. Professional.

There’s a reason for that.

Nick has received credible threats while we were in San Diego.

And once word got out that we were in San Diego knocking on daycare doors, it escalated quickly.

Posts started circulating online calling for people to track him down.

One comment read:

“Someone please find this foo and give him the Kirk treatment so his mom can play Erika.”

That’s the environment we were walking into.

At another daycare, we knocked on the door in the middle of the day.

A woman inside saw Nick and immediately started yelling through the glass.

“You are Nick Shirley. I am naked, and I can sue you.”

She disappeared. Came back. Said it again.

In that moment, it hit me. This wasn’t just an investigation anymore. This was something bigger. A real life viral video moment.

So I asked the only question that made sense.

“Why are you naked in a daycare?”

What followed was chaos. Yelling. Filming. Accusations that Nick had already “done enough damage” in Minnesota.

The video filmed by the daycare provider who said she was naked went viral.

But behind the viral moment was a deeper issue.

Why were these facilities reacting this way?

Day two is when it got serious.

We only had one security guard with us.

That was a mistake.

By then, word had spread. A New York Times photographer was following along documenting everything. A San Diego City Council member issued a public statement labeling Nick a “right-wing extremist YouTuber” and calling me a “MAGA attention seeker.”

We were accused of targeting Somali childcare providers.

That claim is false.

The facilities were selected the same way any investigator would do it. Alphabetical review. Based on inspection records. Based on violations. Based on patterns.

Not race. Not politics. Data.

One stop changed everything for me.

It wasn’t loud. It wasn’t viral. It was quiet.

An apartment complex daycare.

Two small children sitting alone outside the front door.

No adult.

No supervision.

Just two little boys waiting.

Licensing reports will cite a facility if a child steps outside for a moment. These boys were fully outside. Alone.

We knocked. No answer.

They told us their teacher was driving.

Nick immediately said we needed to find someone to stay with them.

We walked away to do that.

And that’s when I broke.

Because those boys weren’t just part of an investigation. They were kids who had been left alone, waiting for someone to make them feel safe.

Minutes later, everything escalated.

Cars boxed in our vehicle.

We got inside and managed to get out.

Then we realized we were being followed.

Our driver was armed. He got us to safety.

But the message was clear.

Someone didn’t want this investigation happening.

Here’s what happens next, because we’ve seen it before.

There won’t be immediate accountability.

There won’t be urgent hearings held by California Governor Gavin Newsom.

Instead, the focus will shift.

From the records… to the people exposing them.

Expect headlines. Hit pieces. Attempts to discredit. It’s already happened. Gavin Newsom posted this:

Because it’s easier to attack the investigators than to explain the inspection reports.

But here’s the truth.

The records are public.

The state inspection reports are real.

And the patterns are there for anyone willing to look.

And when a 23-year-old journalist needs armed security to document what’s already in state files, that tells you everything.

Not just about what’s happening inside these facilities.

But about how far some will go to keep it from being exposed. Watch Nick Shirley’s California video HERE.

As the Nick Shirley video gets released today, here is my story and how it made me the woman I am today.

There was a before, and an after. The before consisted of picking out the perfect pink baby nursery for my first born and the after was me curled up in a ball on the floor of her nursery in bottomless sadness.

My dad had just passed away 5 weeks before she was born. My dad had Multiple Sclerosis, the really bad chronic progressive kind. The kind that stripped him of his ability to work by the time I was eight and put him in a wheelchair for the rest of his life by the time I was a teenager.

Three weeks after my daughter Ashley died, the pain was excruciating. The doctors didn’t know what to do with me. Emergency grief counseling coupled with every antidepressant at the highest dosage possible. All it did was turn me into a walking zombie filled with pain. They diagnosed me with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Major Depression. Emotional pain so intense that could be felt on your skin. It’s not that I wanted to die, it’s that I didn’t want to go on living. And that is when I decided to become an alcoholic, yes, it was a decision. Every morning at 9 am I would go to the local Vons grocery store and buy the biggest bottle of Vodka I could find.

I would come home and drink until I passed out. My husband, at the time, (80% of all marriages that suffer the loss of a child end in divorce and we didn’t make the 20% cut) had to go to work and I was left alone to drink. I would sleep through the day, but the nights I couldn’t sleep.

One night, I went to the darkness of my living room and decided to pick a fight with God. I yelled, “How can you take away daughters from their mothers when they are only 3 days old? How can you strike down fathers with incurable diseases in the prime of their lives? Come down here and fight me like a man!”

I was in so much pain, in a flash I blurted out something that shocked me. I cried out, “Help me Jesus!” I was instantly filled with relief from my pain, it literally left my body.

This was shocking to me because you see, I was Jewish. I even had a Bat Mitzvah. Truth be told, I stopped talking to God when I was 14 after my Bat Mitzvah when my dad was put in a wheelchair.

I wish I could say that was when I gave my heart to the Lord and I stopped drinking. Unfortunately, I continued to drown myself in a sea of alcohol. My marriage to my high school sweetheart ended. His grief led to destructive behaviors that were marriage ending.

By 2004, I was at the end of my rope. A friend invited me to her church saying, “Come to my church, it’s non-denominational.” I said, “How non-denominational can it be, I’m Jewish.”

I walked into that church, the first service after New Year’s and sat in the back row, closest to the exits. I was pretty sure someone would recognize me and say I didn’t belong because I was Jewish. In my mind, at the time, I was convinced the Bible pretty much said, “The Jews killed Jesus. The end.”

But it wasn’t the end. In that back row, as the pastor shared a message about a lifeguard rescue, he was also Chief of the San Diego Lifeguards at that time, I saw myself in need of a rescue. At the end of the service, the lifeguard asked if anyone wanted to raise their head and give their heart to Jesus and I did.

There was a before, there was an after. In the after, I knew I believed, I just wanted to know what I knew I believed. I am a state-licensed investigator in California and as an investigator, I investigated my new faith.

Read through the New Testament 3 times in the first 3 months.

Got baptized by 4 months.

Gave up alcohol at 10 months.

Was hired in church ministry and worked there for the next 10 years.

Went to Seminary, got my Master of Divinity.

In future articles, I am going to share more of my story. The messy parts, the how I became an activist standing up against Covid lockdowns and mandates. But most of all, how God can use you, like He has used me to speak up.

Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.