I briefly considered going to a garden centre as i thought maybe some sort of hanging plant could help me replicate the dress. But given that i was in LA, that seemed a bit complicated so i decided against it and instead went out to get some lunch.

While walking along Ventura Boulevard i saw a discarded face mask lying on the pavement and immediately recalled the shoes Margaret was wearing.

In this moment i realised that we all have the Chanel barefoot sandals at home if you happen to have medical face masks lying around. As luck would have it, i passed a pharmacy which i went into and promptly asked whether they had any face masks. The pharmacist said that they didnt have any for sale but they had free ones supplied by the city of Los Angeles. I asked her if they were black, to which she replied that they were white. I said thank you very much but i needed black ones. She appeared bemused but I decided to not give further context because i thought it would sound too weird. Especially to a pharmacist. After picking up lunch i dropped by CVS where i found a whole BOX of what i will now refer to as Chanel runway sandals.

A whole new meaning to putting your foot in your mouth.

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I bought a pickleball set two months ago which has never been used. At last! The opportunity had arisen to put the net to use. The latest in a slew of excellent looks from what feels like a neverending press tour seemed to perfectly combine the Grecian Odyssey with Spiderman’s web, or in this case, net.

Once i had the netting, the other bits simply fell into place. The proportions of the Grecian component were practically shouting “TOILET PAPER” at me.

Toilet paper is a very delicate material, and one must exercise extreme caution when wearing it. If you so much as breathe a bit too heavily, your whole outfit will be RUINED. I know this because I have created many a look with toilet paper, my favourite and most stressful endeavor being this one.

The wig was actually the first thing i put on, the toilet paper would have never survived that. Last time i used a black top to make a wig i was told it looked more like a habit than a wig, so this time i was prepared to snip into the very old workout top i was using. Much more realistic! Honestly quite glam, should turn it into a draped turban. I ate a Bendick’s Bittermint so that i could transform the wrapper into a silver cuff and whipped a kettle plug over my shoulder to pull the whole look together.

What do you think?

She even looks like she is carrying a red football!

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When gathering my materials I pulled the same “red carpet” i always use during awards season. I had a vision for the construction of the skirt: this “red carpet” would be draped over bin bags filled with crumpled up newspaper, cinched at the knees. Tying the bin bags to the knees would ensure it would all stay together and not only be wearable but also sashayable.

I had some red gloves in a dressing up box (likely from a past recreation) and i knew i could mimic the form of the bustier by stuffing a charger plate down my top and then wrapping a red t-shirt around it. stretching the sleeves to tie them at my back, securing and cinching the waist.

The great tragedy of this look is that i could not locate a football. This is not so surprising given that i have never purchased a football. But i felt sure that perhaps one would just be lying around. Alas. Naturally, the only things with the word ball that i have lying around are balloons. A couple of red balloons would have to become the headpiece and the bag.

Sometimes i do have to make purchases for my videos and in this case i did have to venture out in pursuit of bubblegum. After purchasing two varieties, i sat in my car and unwrapped them to check their colour. Upsettingly the only bubblegum I could find was either white or pink. But the show must go on, and i drove home to transform myself into this particular lady in red.

What should i raise my brows in next? The Robert Wun couture was top of mind because of a suggestion in my subscribers chat. So if anyone has any requests please drop them there!

I studied the other elements for a few seconds and decided that the execution would be pretty simple. A pair of jeans could be dressed up with toothpaste to mimic the bouclé, and i assumed my dad would have a red plaid shirt lying around.

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I grabbed my toothpaste to test whether it would work and realised in horror that it was BLUE. I then ran to my father’s room to check his toothpaste- ALSO BLUE. Are all toothpastes now blue?! I panicked and tried shaving cream but it just sort of melted into the fabric. I rummaged around the back of the shelves and managed to find some specialty toothpaste tucked away gathering dust. I let out a sigh of relief when i opened the lid to reveal a white paste. A relic from simpler times.

After thoroughly checking my dad’s closet, i realised that ALAS, i did not have a tartan readymade shirt lying around. But i am first and foremost an artist, duh, so i decided to trim some red fabric from the piece i use as a red carpet during awards season and just paint it.

The shirt came out so well that i want to make it more of a permanent piece in my wardrobe. Hand painted plaid is much more glamorous than the store bought variety.

I then set off across the field like a modern day Brontë heroine, to gather the key material: handfuls of hay.

Now that i had gathered all my ingredients, i was ready to put together the look. Bear in mind we are in the midst of yet another heatwave in the UK, so it was tremendously sweaty work.

The front row at couture in Paris might be sweaty, but the makeshift atelier i’ve set up is a hotbox filled with real creepy crawlies. Nevertheless i persisted! You can’t tell how sweaty i actually was in the final result:

This particular look took 46 minutes and 41 seconds to come together because heat is the enemy of adhesion. I nearly gave up a few times, but i’m very glad i persevered because don’t i look DIVINE?

I am channeling, or rather, chaneling a scarecrow who had to abandon their post in the middle of a heatwave, leaving the crops to fend for themselves. Dreaming of being on the runway in Paris instead.

This weekend, while America turns 250 years old, Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are tying the knot at Madison Square Garden. There couldn’t possibly be a more fitting backdrop for Miss Americana to finally marry the captain of the football team.

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Naturally, I can’t wait to see what she wears. If only to recreate it.

Perhaps it will feature a lobster tail bustle? To accompany the cardboard boxes of lobster meat that were papped entering the Garden earlier this week.

On the topic of lobster, my mind shifts to the iconic Elsa Schiaparelli Lobster dress which was specifically designed for Wallis Simpson in 1937.

On the topic of Schiaparelli, Swift wore a Daniel Roseberry creation to the Grammys in 2024, which i recreated ‘swiftly’ after.

The dress was quite wonderful, even if styled horrifically, and could very easily be reworn this weekend. Would be quite fabulous if she did. I’d like to see more of that from celebrities and fashion-people alike. I wear the same things on repeat but am often complimented on those same pieces as though i am wearing them for the first time. Like the below tunic which i wear over skirts, under shirt-dresses, over trousers and alone!

A little imagination with how you mix (and re-mix) your wardrobe goes a long way.

I did, however, buy a new dress for a wedding this weekend and am unusually excited about it because that’s not something i normally do.

’ll be back next week with some (a)musings on couture.

I was glad I waited as it was particularly fun to take the get-up for a spin in the garden. A tractor drove by at one point, but i’m not sure its driver spotted me in the sea of shrubbery. I suppose I could have passed for an overgrown weed.

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I loved this look and found it to be particularly modern in a sea of drab florals. I have never been to Ascot, but i’ve seen enough coverage to know that the usual style is not really my thing.

Her dress is by Roksanda Ilinčić and her hat is by Jane Taylor.

My dress is made out of a fitted sheet and my hat came out of the dishwasher, topped off with lemon netting.

Heavy is the head that wears the crown, or in this case, ceramic plate. So I might recommend using a paper plate if you want to recreate the statement piece at home for a garden party this summer.

The ceramic plate appears to be balancing on my head by magic, but i’ll let you in on the trick here and lift the curtain to reveal exactly how i kept my fauxcinator in place:

Luckily I had a spare stocking lying around which I tied together to create a makeshift headband and secured it in place with duct tape.

Duct tape has never let me down.

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Last thursday, during a break from weeding the garden, i got an email from a producer at Virgin Radio saying that they were fans of my videos and asking if there was any chance i’d be up for a quick chat that evening. I confirmed that i would indeed be up for that and then received this brief overview of what the chat would entail.

England was suffering from a heatwave last week which, though wonderful, was slightly miserable due to the fact that no-one has air conditioning (i don’t even have a fan) because as a country we aren’t exactly known for our good weather. More so for the doom and gloom of the constant rain. Earlier that day i had taken a pair of my cousin’s Brandy Melville tracksuit bottoms and turned them into shorts out of desperation. But i didn’t think that was the sort of fashion fun they wanted to hear about.

I had never been on the radio before. It was exhilarating! Similar adrenaline to being on daytime TV, except i didn’t have an outfit to hide behind.

The presenter kept trying to bill himself as unfashionable, hoping that i would turn my nose up at his wardrobe which he claimed was entirely M&S (for those unfamiliar, a supermarket which is actually known to have the best cashmere). I rebuffed that style is objective and is not to do with labels, from this point on we actually had an extremely jolly conversation which i self taped from a fairly unflattering angle but i’ll share below:

I find the general assumption that being fashionable is intrinsically linked to wearing designer garments to be so tedious. Style is so much more than that. This is why the beige affiliate link brigade worries me. Personal style is so much more alluring than the same camel tone two piece circulating Shopmy.

Instead, why don’t you whittle together a wig out of bronze toned Brillo pad?

It looks fabulous next to bloomin’ roses and will come in helpful later in the summer when you have to clean your grill. Hows that for use per wear.

I did this illustration in 2017. Felt apt to celebrate the end of the film festival that seemed to drone on and on.

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I’ve been OOO (out of office) or rather, AWK (away from kitchen) for the last week, and never got around to re-creating any red carpet looks from the festival this year. I was only mildly annoyed when Demi Moore stepped out at the closing ceremony as I have ALL the necessary materials in my apartment in New York to recreate that look.

I would have sacrificed my laundry bag to mimic the green gown- a drawstring laundry bag really does make the best halterneck. I have the PERFECT shade of fitted sheet which I could have stuffed with newspapers. And the cherry on top would have been my white washing up gloves. It would have been perfect. In lieu of this i settled for gallivanting around the garden in this witchin’ straw hat which was the most eccentric option with which to shield my pallid complexion from the Great British Summertime sun.

I’ve scoured the internet and the cutest version i can find is this. Other options lean slightly too far into cos-play territory.

I’m aware that more of my intrigue comes from repurposing household objects and transforming them into clothes- but i do also love getting dressed in items that were always intended to be clothing. So i am going to start including a section at the end of my posts with my Obsessions. I won’t be spamming with random shit i’ve been gifted. I will just be recommending things here in the same way that, if you know me, i wax poetic about in real life.

This week i am spotlighting the shoes and bag that i have been wearing solidly…..all week. I’ve actually been carrying this bag non-stop since i bought it from the concept shop SONG in Vienna last month. It is by the elusive Paul Harnden and im afraid if you want one you can either purchase this secondhand or you can plan a trip to Vienna. It fits a bottle of wine perfectly, so it is ideal for a picnic in the park this summer.

This new style of Venetian furlane from Vibi are incredibly comfortable, due in part to the bow which one can loosen or tighten. I also think that they are much more flattering than the traditional style. They are linen which means that they are actually breathable and don’t lead to the dreaded summer smelly feet. I am a generally messy person who walks everywhere so have naturally scuffed them because of how much i have been wearing them. But i think the scuffs are quite charming and dont plan on cleaning them. I plan on purchasing more colorways.

And to chuck in something i’ve been using every morning for the last three months- this moisturizer with SPF WORKS. and doesn’t make me break out. I used to forego spf every day because i decided i’d rather get wrinkles than deal with suncream induced pimples. I’m so pleased that this product exists. I’m on my second container!

It took me until 1:30pm to start roaming around my apartment, cobbling together the bits and pieces that would make up Katy Perry’s Stella McCartney look.

At first I actually didn’t notice the added finger but luckily had a lighter lying around so i just duct-taped that to my washing up gloves. It would appear that Blue Origin lady just CANNOT quit space.

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The following days i mustered up the strength to recreate two more looks.

I chose to do Hailey Bieber’s after party look by Dilara Findikoglu because seeing it reminded me of the dark days of my youth when i had to wear a back brace. The dress reminded me of the plaster casts i would be wrapped in while being fitted for the brace. So naturally i decided to just papier-mâché myself.

The drawback being that i am incredibly impatient at the best of times and papier-mâché requires patience. So the outfit was still very much wet when i took it off. Could spin this into a reclamation of the hours spent waiting for the plaster casts of my youth to dry!

Here’s something that i papier-mâché’d rather patiently. Easier when it doesn’t involve your actual body.

Totally simple to do and quite effective. Blow up a disposable glove like a balloon and shove it in a used toilet roll. (If you want a longer arm you can substitute kitchen roll for toilet roll.) Then paint with acrylic. Quite fun how you can still see the texture of the kitchen roll used (because i didnt have any newspaper- frightfully annoying byproduct of consuming thenews digitally.)

Moving on to the third and final look. Kendall Jenner in Gap by Zac Posen. When i first saw it i thought a chicken cutlet would work rather nicely. But that would have been simply too disgusting. Besides, how would i master the nipple?! The final interpretation was born out of my love of cooking egg fried rice, and as a result, the fact that i often think of frozen peas. There is usually a 90% chance that there will be frozen peas in my freezer.

Give peas a chance!

This illustration is from 2016 but feels particularly appropriate for the impending first monday in May. Bezos’ presence has irked many and i won’t mention any names, but i heard that a particular mainstay will not be attending next monday’s gala due to backlash she received after attending that wedding.

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I can’t wait to see what Mrs Sanchez- Bezos will be wearing and i have my wig at the ready in preparation for my favourite morning- the first Tuesday in May, when i challenge myself to recreate a gown in less than thirty minutes.

When thinking about last year’s looks, more specifically my recreation of Sabrina Carpenter’s Louis Vuitton tailcoat, i was particularly lucky that the particular shade of burgundy is one that i had in my closet. I must own at least five pairs of stockings in that shade so i felt at peace with sacrificing one pair in the name of fashion (recreation). And i already owned a couple of tshirts in that tone from a Selena Gomez look.

And now to draw attention to my favourite literal kernel- the carpet! I used popcorn to recreate it. Duh.

This in turn reminded me of the way in which i used popcorn to recreate those prada socks from the February runway!!

Anyway, back to the carpet. i wonder what it will look like this year. Imagine if it’s just covered in paint splatters. That could be sort of fabulous if executed correctly.

I’ll check back in next week and recount my process.

WISH ME GOOD MATERIAL!!!

i deliver a couple of chilling lines:

“is everything okay?!

followed by,

HEY!”

I added the second line. I just knew that a stern english teacher at a school full of privileged nitwits wouldn’t respond well to being ignored by the nitwittiest of her students. Go and see it this weekend.

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I brought something to wear to the premiere, but having worn normal clothes to the New York theatrical premiere, it felt too dull to do the same in Hollywood of all places. So i stumbled a couple of blocks over to Burlington’s and perused the aisles. I’d actually never been to Burlington’s before but it offers a really wonderful array. I purchased a set of Queen size bed sheets in black, a packet of sour gummy jelly beans and a hairbrush. I also bought a bunch of eclectic steel wool that i have yet to use but i couldn’t resist.

Here you can sort of see it come together:

However, i really left it to the last minute and was so pressed for time that i did not document the specific way i changed the draping around the drop waist. apologies.

It turned out really wonderfully, with people even asking me where it was from!

I replied ‘Burlingtons,’ which was technically true. As the evening wore on i couldnt help but indulge in the credit for my creation, so i spent the second half of the night bragging about my pillow case and fitted sheet ensemble.

I am going to Milan tomorrow, and weekend after this one i have a black tie birthday. I just found a set of red bed sheets in the back of my wardrobe and i think i am going to make the same dress in red- this time i will document it VERY precisely (as long as i construct it in a timely manner)

I think it will look marvelous in red.

People asked if my outfit was also Valentino which was flattering, but my look actually comprised of two laundry bags with a flower from Michael’s to tie it all together. The construction is pretty simple, as evidenced by this video.

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I thought i’d only stay for 15 minutes but i ended up staying for 3 hours! it was ALOT of fun. i think part of the reason i had so much fun was because i was wearing laundry bags. The sunglasses also made it quite fun because i couldn’t see properly. For example at one point i thought i was slapping my friend Pascal on the bum to get his attention but it turned out to be a waiter. The waiter gave me a wink and i turned bright red. the sunglasses were powerful! my vision was compromised!

When i was leaving it felt like the place was being mobbed. the line was long and disorderly and i felt relieved to have arrived as early as i did (and to be leaving when i was).

i was hoping to only spend 15 minutes at the sunglasses party because my boyfriend’s movie had its theatrical release in New York last thursday and i wanted to be well rested in preparation.

The movie is called Our Hero, Balthazar and i have a small role in it. I play a teacher called Ms Long. She may not be on screen for that long, but she certainly gets her close up!

I’m in the airport waiting to board a flight to the West Coast as the LA premiere is this friday. I sort of want to make my own outfit….lets see if i manage to scramble something together in time….i have some safety pins in my carry on.

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Every year, there is a theme. And every year, just like halloween, i leave it a little bit too late to think of how to interpret said theme. Last year the theme was slumber party, and by some stroke of GENIUS (if i do say so myself), i fashioned a fabulous gown out of bed sheets. Here is the recipe, if you feel like making one yourself.

This year the theme was Après Ski. Initially my mind was conjuring up fantasies of fur. Could i fashion something out of a white fake fur rug i had? But then i thought that might be slightly too on the nose. I like to be clever with my creations. Armani lent me the most DIVINE cape which set a framework for how i could approach the rest of my outfit.

What would i wear underneath? i played around with tights to no avail. Then i remembered my spare children’s play tunnel from when i was obsessively fashioning tunnel dresses. I had cut it in half to make a skirt and top set but i never ended up finishing it properly. I put on an old hooded slinky long sleeve mini dress and safety pinned the skirt from the aforementioned tunnel set to the dress. BINGO. I was dressed as a ski pole. And the cape was a light dusting of snowflakes. I was the ski pole left in the snow while its owner was indulging in Après Ski.

However, this ski pole had a martini upon arrival. I had much too much fun in my outfit and proudly bounced around showing off the “little bit of me” beneath the beautiful Armani. (little bit of me being the colorful inside of the play tunnel).

My party trick all night was draping the cape over fellow guests and it really looked utterly marvelous if i do say so myself.

Now i want to finish off the tunnel top and wear it with jeans. maybe this weekend…

i’ll keep you posted.

Which means that i have been engaging with awards season both publicly and comically for an entire decade! And what a decade it has been.

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This morning i read that there will be miniature statuettes made out of chocolate and dusted in gold on site at the Academy Awards this weekend.

then i saw what they look like.

i was actually quite disappointed. And immediately thought that they should just partner with Lindt. I can’t imagine the gold dust does anything for the flavor and Lindt, as well as being delicious chocolate, does a great gold wrap.

If it were wrapped in Gold it would be much easier and much less messy to take home. Not to mention the repurposing of the wrappers!

This reminds me of one of my first viral videos. Maggie Gyllenhaal wearing Schiaparelli at the awards in 2022. The first time i saw the potential in a Ferrero Rocher wrapper. Since then i have really taken advantage of this potential across the board.

Continuing in the spirit of Oscars Week, on Monday evening i bumped into a wonderful writer called who profiled me for a story in the Hollywood Reporter a couple of years ago. I recreated several iconic looks to accompany the piece; Zendaya was amongst the stars whose looks i recreated. I also did Cher’s Bob Mackie and Bjork’s swan dress. Photos were taken by the fantastic Ye Fan.

I’m hoping for some fabulous inspiration on Sunday evening. I’m thinking it could be fun to start a subscriber chat to have your input in which gowns you think i should attempt?

I’ve written previously about my bed sheet dress and tunnel dress and given the ingredients and recipe so that you too might be able to fashion one at home. Today i want to talk about a dress that i fashioned out of just ten pairs of tights.

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Last Saturday i went to the wedding of a dear old friend who, upon seeing her for the first time after she had sent out the invites, exclaimed “I can’t wait to see what you wear!” After she said this, i knew that i couldn’t simply wear something normal, but that i would have to fashion something unusual. I am a bit of a peacock so i must admit that the idea did excite me. It’s not a given that a bride would actually want someone to wear something teetering on the edge of silly.

Naturally i left it til the very last minute to actually execute said dress. Safety pinning it together on the friday, i only started to sew it together later that evening and left myself too few hours on saturday to finish it off before the wedding. I have always loved riding dangerously close to a deadline! Surprisingly, and very luckily, it did not take that long. though i really should invest in a sewing machine.

I will do a more involved video tutorial later this week with fresh tights so i can include a more detailed step by step but for now i just wanted to share how i assembled the look. The cool thing about the way in which it came together is that it is made up of separates: a skirt, a top and a belt.

The fun of the construction is that the different elements can be worn individually! Though if raucous dancing is in store, i do recommend putting a few stitches in place to secure the separate items. These can then be removed after wearing, just as i have done for this demonstration.

The great part about using tights is that they have stretch! and they come in different sizes. I would suggest that the optimal size of tights to use is the size you normally wear. So why don’t you save any and all laddered tights you may have specifically for this project, especially because laddering is not at all noticeable if tights are not worn the correct way.

I wanted to finish by mentioning that because i was literally sewing against the clock i had about thirty minutes to wash and dry my hair and do my makeup and i was EXCEPTIONALLY pleased with the outcome.

I washed my hair with this shampoo and conditioner which is the only shampoo and conditioner i have thought about since purchasing it. Then used this anti-frizz heat protection which i initially got as a freebie and have purchased ever since. It makes it dry so well. Have not got a blow dry since using this combo.

Skin care routines are all very personal but i do want to also mention a product that has worked absolute wonders on my skin and when i talk about it with friends it seems like it has been a gamechanger for the majority of people i know?? So i would be remiss not to share it. I have just started my third bottle.

I applied this foundation with this brush. I wish i had taken a proper selfie so you can tell that it does not even look like i am wearing makeup let alone foundation!! and it really lasted at least 12 hours perfectly even though i cried! I always cry at weddings. The brand of my eyeliner has rubbed off which probably means it is expired but it is a twist top crayon from CVS. I have been using this blush for the last year as it applies very well, blends quickly and lasts. My number one element for the makeup routine is this powder though. It is pure magic and truly sets everything together for 12 hours! In sickness and in health!

Art is art. Fashion is fashion.

This made me think about my work. Specifically the work which acts a response to fashion. I thought, well, my art is fashion? But upon further contemplation i decided that my pieces are not necessarily fashion per se, because all of my recreations exist as one offs, if they even exist permanently at all. Often they are entirely transient, because they are whittled out of perishable goods like parsnips. How’s that for ethical consumption?

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i also have a penchant for salad leaves. They look so fabulous for about an hour before they start to shrivel, bemoaning their unrefrigerated state.

Then i think about Martin Margiela and his use of paint, mainly bianchetto. Something so fabulous about the way in which it cracks over time. Rendering each garment unique. The cracking in the fabric reminiscent of a fingerprint, unique to the wearer.

I bought some secondhand shoes last week, and have been dressing them up slowly.

The first pair, i adorned with ferrero rocher wrapper, a staple of mine.

The second pair, i festooned with balloons. 6 balloons attached together in the form of a flower. I had kept them from an old outfit recreation, knowing that they would come in handy one day. I’m very pleased with the outcome.

The fun thing about this is that as i am not a machine in a factory, and possess only two hands, each pair carries little imperfections and even if i were to recreate them, as a result of them being handmade, they are all unique. I implore you to discover the joy of dressing up some old shoes, all you need is some glue dots and candy wrapper to get going!

It will certainly take more than glue dots to hold the costumes together this first monday in May.

Im looking forward to seeing how ‘Fashion is Art’ will be interpreted.

When i first heard the theme, i was instantly reminded of Tracee Ellis Ross in 2019.

How many frames do we think we’ll see on the carpet this year? the mind boggles.

I actually was rather pleased with myself for the timing, because it provided a rather fabulous excuse to stay home, but sad to miss the seemingly lifesize giraffe at Alix of Bohemia.

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Ultimately, i am not good at fashion week. I am scared of the street style photography and i am always overwhelmed with a total feeling of embarrassment, ugliness, irrelevance and inadequacy when being herded in and out of these rooms. It is a total blow to my confidence and self esteem and it was so wonderful to not have an emotional breakdown. These are all personal feelings, and i wish i was able to metabolize these situations better! Im very good at an event, but for some reason cannot seem to handle fashion week. I’m also very good at having an opinion and not very good at keeping it to myself.

Moving on to my first outing post surgery.

I read a lot of the letterbox’d reviews and somehow was still surprised at how rubbish it was. I studied Wuthering Heights at school and don’t recall the book in too much detail other than strawberries having a significant role, so i’m not here to bemoan the fact that it veered from the novel. it was just empty. nothing really worked if you ask me. i audibly huffed throughout according to the friend i went to see it with. One thing spoke to me though, the costumes. The dresses gliding across the screen like the trash bags in my kitchen. I felt like i understood them.

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This had been organized in advance, but of course i had no idea what the red carpet would bring when i had agreed to it. So imagine my relief when Rosé emerges in a fabulous Giambattista Valli creation styled by Law Roach.

I had originally played with the idea of doing more than one look on my models. But then decided that it was much more entertaining to have all three of them in the Giambattista! I made a quick pit-stop at Michaels en route to the train to pick up three black t-shirts which i would use for the bodice. Our location proved to be exceptionally convenient for the remainder of the gown as i was able to simply request two extra duvets from housekeeping.

It was incredibly fun to dress others up in my creations but much more daunting to be safety pinning others because i am so used to pricking myself in the name of fashion but absolutely did NOT want to puncture my esteemed talent.

Of course this experience made me wonder whether i should start inviting people into my kitchen atelier. Watch this space.

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I had to rush off to the upper east side to visit a friend’s gallery before dinner, so had to hold back from attempting to craft the couture in that very moment, but this morning i dove back into Dior head first.

Initially i thought it would be best if i had a second loofah so each loofah could be its own earring, so i wandered down to my local CVS and perused the shelves. To my chagrin the offerings were not the same hue as my imported loofah (originally hailing from England. Bizarrely purchased at the Gatwick airport Boots while i was en route to Sicily a couple of years ago. What a life this loofah has already lived!)

Here is a tutorial on how to turn the one loofah into two couture earrings. Not quite the Feeding of the 5000, more a miracle adjacent feat of the sartorial variety.

Excuse my baritone, i am slightly congested.

I have decided that i will indeed wear these earrings out this evening, i must admit that i shall be further securing them with some thread as it would be particularly embarrassing to have them unravel on the subway at rush hour. Though they do look quite marvelous unraveled, as i showcase in the tutorial. Perhaps i should acquire some more loofahs and make a whole look.

maybe shower dressing is the new power dressing?

The thought has occurred to me that i am absolutely never to wear them out in the rain because they would get so heavy they would almost certainly fall off. That could make for quite the cautionary tale.

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Kevin, the Carpet Man

(rolled up in his carpet, of course)

Eating so much that you yearn for an Ancient Roman Vomitorium

(i know this is a myth but it is one of my favourite myths and when i was a child i was taught it as fact. feather to tickle the throat and all!)

Lauren Sanchez and Anna Wintour twinning at Paris Couture?

The colour coordination of the red is a particularly sinister, Trumpian touch.

Ticket Sales for the london premiere of Melania

apparently just 1 ticket sold to the premiere, and two for the following screening at the Vue in London.

It might even do worse than Nicola Peltz Beckham’s ‘Lola’ which made a paltry $648 in the box office!!!