A note from Anja & Aura

It’s crazy to think that eight weeks ago, we were strangers on the internet who decided to go for coffee after Anja shared an idea about hosting a women’s wellness brunch on TikTok.

That one decision set a few others in motion: Aura reaching out, meeting for coffee on a weirdly cold, rainy day in July, deciding to actually organize this thing together and, eventually, 25 women choosing to spend their Saturday morning in a room full of strangers.

We’re putting it down to the promise of good pastries.

It turns out that all of those small decisions - all those moments when someone decided to put their trust in a stranger, in one way or another - can turn out better than we might expect.

So, if you came to the first brunch, thank you. And if you missed it, well, we haven’t become event partners simply because it sounds fancy. There’s another brunch happening in September, and Early Bird tickets are now live. You’ll find the link at the end of this article.

I hope you can join us, but in the meantime… let’s take a look at what two strangers turned event partners turned friends happened to pull off.

Welcome to Choose Well Club Brunch, Vol. 1.

All our love,

Anja and Aura

Build it, and they’ll come (we hoped)

The idea behind Choose Well Club Brunch was pretty simple: to cut through the confusion of the noisy wellness world (trends to follow, products to buy, conflicting ‘5 steps to…’ advice), and bring women together over brunch whilst learning something that will connect them deeper to themselves and to others.

I was worried that my personal hell would come true: I’d host something and nobody would show up. But by 11:10am, the room was filled with women meeting for the first time, helping themselves to fresh coffee, and getting excited to spend their morning doing something new. Phew.

“Who wants to be selfish?”

To be described as ‘selfish’ sounds about as appealing as organizing a brunch that nobody comes to. Or so I thought. Our speaker, Valerie Jones, spoke about why selfishness is something so many of us want to avoid, but why pushing it away may be the very thing that’s holding us back .

The guests

They say you’re the accumulation of all the people you spend the most time with, and if that’s the case, I would gladly spend a lot more time with the women who joined us (and I hope I get to!)

There’s such a strength in getting a group of women together, and that’s exactly what I saw: experiences being shared, food passed around - family-style, of course - and new friendships being formed.

A moment for the cake

I’m a strong believer that, in life, we don’t give ourselves enough opportunities to celebrate the small things. The cherry on top of the whole day - excuse the pun - was everyone writing down, sharing with the room, and placing it on top of the cake. Here’s a snippet of what we celebrated:

• starting singing lessons

• signing for a new flat

• taking their daughter hiking for the first time

• turning up to an event, even when they didn’t know anyone

• turning up to an event on time

• leading a team at a festival for their business

• deciding to start their own business

• finally calling themselves an “artist”

• restarting their content creation journey

Let’s do it again!

If there’s one thing we learned from our first Choose Well Club Brunch, it’s that putting a group of women in a room together is something worth doing again. So, naturally, we are.

Our next Choose Well Club Brunch is happening on 20th September, and this time we’ll be joined by therapist Rachael Cruickshanks, who will be sharing real, actionable ways we can listen to ourselves (like, really listen to ourselves) and make decisions that don’t just offer short-term relief, but lead to long-term fulfilment.

You can save you spot here.

Save your seat

We’re just getting started. See you in September (but I hope to chat to you before)!

Anja x

So, what’s the big occasion? I hear you ask.

Thanks for asking!

I’m off to have a celebratory dinner with my event partner - nope, too professional -my new friend (am I bragging? maybe!) who I happen to of met when I decided I wanted to organize wellness brunches for women. An opportunity for women to come together, cut through the bullshit of the wellness noise online, and learn something useful whilst having a great time.

And what’s the celebration?? I hear you call.

We did something we said we’d do. Yep! I’m putting on gold earring, sparkly eye shadow, will get into an Uber and head to a new restaurant across the city simply because I followed through on an idea.

And it’s so easy to let it pass and move onto the next thing. It’s something I’ve done my entire life - a tick box of tasks and goals that, once completed, were put into a box with the lid closed.

There is no doubt, I’m not alone with this. It’s actually a promise Aura (that’s my new friend, by the way) and I made to each other: We will celebrate this once it’s passed.

I’m not going to pretend to understand why we do this - let things pass us by without recognition, I mean. Is it the shame of saying we’re proud of ourselves? Is it that we never feel like what we do is enough? Why is it so bloody hard to take a moment and say - shit, I did that thing.

What I do know, because it’s happened time and time again, is that if I hadn’t made that promise, I’d be onto the next thing with only the memory of what didn’t go perfectly being the final reminder of what’s just happened. But, surely to god, we deserve to give ourselves a little more credit?

So, maybe it’s time to set a new rule. And maybe this new rule looks like this:

Unfortunately, in today’s economy, I can’t afford to have a fun dinner every time I actually get up 20 minutes earlier to make time for a morning walk before work. Also, it would probably loose it’s shine. But I can take an extra minute with my face in the sun to recognize it.

To recognize the small things, the big celebrations, and all the little wins in between.

I don’t think this will be easy. To be perfectly honest, it’s probably a promise I will break to myself a million times over. The day moves quickly, there are so many opportunities to compare ourselves, sometimes things feel very serious. Scratch that, sometimes things are very serious. But at the same time…life is joyful. And showing up for ourselves deserves a moment of recognition.

After all, most of us are probably doing something that past us would’ve dreamed of.

My rule - surely to be broken, but easy to fix again - is starting with a cold glass of prosecco in a perfectly lit restaurant, with my new friend who I’m building something I’m so fucking proud of us for.

Cheers to that.

The speaker has been found, the brunch has been planned… Are you free on August 15th?

Reserve your spot ☕️

Hello!

If you’re reading this, chances are you’re one of the 10,000+ people who watched a TikTok I shared a week or so ago.

The idea was pretty simple, really. I wanted to organize a brunch for women that connected us to each other, and to a wellness expert who could give us tools we could actually use in our own lives. Honestly, it came from a love of sharing coffee and croissants with other women, and being totally over the clickbait “health information” we’re so often shown.

I was craving something real.

You know that feeling when you share something with a friend - something you’re maybe a little nervous about, or worried you’re the only one thinking - and she turns around and says, “Oh my god, me too”?

That instant sense of connection and relief is exactly what I felt, over and over, as more and more of you started commenting and messaging to say a wellness brunch was exactly what you needed too.

So I took the task seriously. I partnered with The People Kitchen to bring Choose Well Club Brunch: The Selfish Shift to life, and I confirmed a speaker who feels like she stepped straight out of my “if I could design my ideal speaker, what would she be like?” daydream.

I want this morning to be a celebration of womanhood. Of ourselves, and of each other.

Early Bird pricing is available first to everyone who registered to be the first to hear about the event (that’s you! ) You can find everything you need to know, and reserve your place, right here.

Reserve your spot 💚

If you can’t make this date, don’t worry! I have a September and an October event in the works, that I’ll keep you posted with.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you again for every kind message and bit of support for this little project. I can’t wait to learn and connect with you all.

All my love,

Anja x

But a topic that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to tick off as something I ‘know’ is the female cycle. I started learning about it when I was diagnosed with PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder), and at the time barely knew we have four phases.

When I started reading about it - purely for my own sanity to begin with - I realised there was so much I didn’t know. That there was so much even the medics and scientists didn’t know.

So, where do we turn when we can’t find reliable information on healthcare websites? Social media, of course.

And the women’s wellbeing corner of social media is a treasure trove… one that’s been under the sea for a very, very long time. Yes, there’s gold in there, but also old fish carcasses, seaweed, and some beer cans that found their way to the depths. Unlike a treasure trove we might imagine from a Disney film, everything on social media is labelled as VALUABLE. The fish carcasses have a marble-like quality. The seaweed looks as inviting as an overpriced poke bowl. The beer cans shine under the rays of the sun.

Simply put: there is a lot of crap out there promising to be something it’s not.

One debate that keeps resurfacing is whether cycle syncing is a tool all women are missing out on, or just another dressed-up version of medical misogyny.

Cycle syncing is the practice of matching your diet, exercise, skincare, and daily habits to where you are in your menstrual cycle. Benefits are said to include boosting energy, fertility and balancing hormones. With exercise, for example, women are advised to limit exercise before and during the period, and to ramp it up to benefit from an increase of energy when estrogen is high, as summarised by the New York Times.

Cycle sync, and improve your life

I love that we live in a world where everything can be tracked. I know when to load up on suncream because the UV is weirdly strong even though it seems cloudy. I know when my bus is running three minutes behind so I can take my time putting on my shoes. I can see how many seconds are left of an advert to know whether I have time to go to the toilet.

What I’d love to know, is that if I eat spinach at a certain time on a particular Tuesday, everything will fall into place. I want to follow the simple rules. So when Dr Mindy Pelz, author of Fast Like a Girl, says that one of the biggest mistakes women make is treating every day of their cycle the same, I listen.

“They pick a fasting window, stick to it seven days a week, and then wonder why some days feel effortless and other days leave them exhausted, anxious, or ravenously hungry by 10am.”

It’s an interesting read whether you’re considering fasting or not - she gives a clear breakdown of the four cycle phases and how our needs shift throughout.

The conversation isn’t limited to fasting either. British Vogue reported on how tracking your cycle can make you more productive, noting that each phase affects energy and focus differently, and that the way we show up at work, socially, and creatively is not the same all month long. I wonder whether this is less about what we don’t realise, and more about having permission to act on it.

Dr Susan Albers takes a measured view: cycle syncing as a packaged concept hasn’t had enough time in the research lab to get a concrete verdict either way. But the impact of hormonal shifts on mood and activity levels throughout the month? Well established. Her general framework: iron-rich foods and restorative movement during your period; complex carbs, healthy fats, and protein to fuel higher intensity workouts in your follicular phase; and dark chocolate, fruit, and nuts to balance sugar cravings in the luteal phase. Oh, and plenty of water. Always water.

Cycle sync, and waste your time

Spend a couple more minutes researching and you’ll find a Guardian article where Dr Marianna Apicella shares there is no meaningful difference between cycle phases in how muscle is built or how the body performs. Women may feel different depending on where they are in their cycle - but physiologically, the body functions the same throughout.

Kerry Krauss, MD, a board-certified OB-GYN and senior medical advisor at Natural Cycles, puts it plainly:

“There isn’t strong clinical evidence showing that timing workouts or specific foods to certain cycle phases will regulate irregular cycles or correct hormonal conditions.”

And here is the thing that almost makes the vacant look and small shrug women get from doctors make sense: we don’t actually know that much about women’s bodies. For most of medical history, nobody thought it was worth looking a little deeper at 50% of the population. Caroline Criado Perez wrote an entire book about this - Invisible Women - and once you’ve read it you will always see the world differently. A world built, by default, for men.

So when someone says “there’s no evidence,” I find myself asking: no evidence, or no one leading the study in the first place?

So, where does that leave us?

Maybe getting in touch with our cycle isn’t really about maximising workouts or stressing over the correct time to eat an avocado.

Cycle syncing, at its best, might not be about hormone-optimising every decision. It might just be about giving ourselves permission to show up differently on different days - not because of which hormone is dominant that week, but because we accept that nothing about being human is that tidy. Nothing can be fully tracked. And life probably shouldn’t be lived by the word of a health app or a 30-second TikTok video.

The skill of listening to your body is useful for absolutely everyone. Cycle or no cycle. Birth control or au naturel. Female or male.

At least until we get some more reliable research.

So in short: we do our best.

And we keep eating the dark chocolate. Some hills, you die on.

So imagine my surprise when, on day 3 of my period, my ‘what action should I take next’ steps came to me like a perfectly cooled glass of rosé on a summer’s day. Welcomed, and simple.

Are they the perfect next steps? Probably not. Does it matter? I hope not.

But at least my ball is rolling again.

Did my period kickstart my motivation and clear thinking? And how do I resist the urge to give it my all and ultimately burn myself out again?

What’s happening when we menstruate?

The period is the easiest part of the cycle to track - it’s when we’re bleeding. Technically, it’s our body shedding the lining of our womb. Our body has accepted defeat: there’s no baby. So, ever the optimist, she's clearing space to start the whole process again.

Day one of the bleed is day one of the menstrual cycle. From there, cycles can vary from around 21 to 35 days…though mine sometimes likes to go on a timeline of its own (my most recent was 48 days long, but that’s a conversation for another day).

What has this got to do with motivation?

“This phase is the time of the month when we should be planning and thinking about decisions ahead, utilising this practical intuition to help guide our ambitions and progress.”

- Amy Thomson, Moody

During the bleed, something pretty impressive is happening in the brain; it becomes more integrative, meaning our analytical thinking and our emotional, empathetic thinking are firing together at the same time. Logic and feeling, working in tandem. The dream combination, honestly.

So how do we make it last?

When that burst of motivation and clarity finally arrives, the temptation is to squeeze every last drop out of it. Who knows how long it’ll be here for?

This can look like two back-to-back 14-hour days pouring everything into a new idea. Or dragging yourself to the gym at 6:30am for 75 minutes because the energy is there and you want to use it. Sound familiar?

In my experience, that approach has never created lasting, healthy change.

From the research, the answer is as simple as this:

Menstruation is a great time to start something - a new project, a health habit, a promise to yourself. And I mean start in the truest sense: not start, get overexcited, hit a wall, quietly put a lid on the whole thing and never lift it again out of fear it’ll remind you of yet another half-finished attempt. Just start. Small, conscious, purposeful steps.

Making a decision

I was listening to an episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast recently, and she talked about one important first step to getting unstuck: making a real decision, not a wishful one.

"When you make a decision, you are claiming what you want."

- The Mel Robbins Podcast

There’s a difference between “I want to get fit, but I don’t have the time, or the right kit, and I didn’t start last summer, so maybe it’s too late anyway…” and simply: I will get fit. No buts. Just a decision, because the alternative isn’t an option anymore.

I’m putting my money on the latter to stick to what they promised.

Your period is a natural reset point - almost like a mini New Year. Your brain is already preparing for a new cycle. It’s a surprisingly good moment to get clear on what you want.

Making it manageable

You’re on your period, right? Let’s remember that. Some women deal with crippling pain which overrides any and all motivation for anything other than finding pain relief.

Whether you experience light cramping or something more severe, nobody wants to throw themselves headfirst into something new when dark chocolate on the sofa is right there. So take this as permission to do the smallest possible thing that moves you one step closer to the decision you made.

For me, that decision was to start this Substack - to share my own experiences and bring you reliable, useful findings about women’s wellness. And instead of falling into the same trap I always have (overthinking, then over-doing, then stopping completely) I gave myself one task: write for 15 minutes a day.

Honestly? I’ve enjoyed it so much more than if I’d tried to become a content machine overnight.

The ball is rolling, and this time, I’m not going to burn it out

One small decision, one small action, one day at a time.

Turns out our body was never working against us. So if you’ve been sitting on something - an idea, a habit, a promise to yourself - and your period is on its way or already here: this is your sign. Decide. Start small. Keep going.

Love, Anja xxx

The Choose Well Club

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^{https://www.healthline.com/health/left-brain-vs-right-brain#left-brain-vs-right-brain-myth}

^{https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/108517050-moody}

^{https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/42425314-the-gynae-geek}

^{https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20180806-how-the-menstrual-cycle-changes-womens-brains-every-month}

^{The Mel Robbins Podcast episode}

So, 2 years has passed - and for whatever reason (my guess is that it’s down to the increase of awareness around PMDD and women’s wellness in general) - the number of women aware of their emotional fluctuations and menstrual cycles aren’t the only thing that has changed.

It’s time for a redo of my 2024 Stylist article.

“It’s been a real journey to get to a point of acceptance and understanding.”

1. Redo: This is a ‘journey’ I’m still on. Be patient

When I wrote for The Stylist in 2024, I was in a pretty good headspace. But I was also hiding out at my parents place in the UK. It was a necessary break from my ‘real life’, but I was naive to write about this as if was in the past tense. Every month is different, and whilst my downs aren’t as dark as before, managing and learning is still something I’m dealing with. As external circumstances change, so does my ability to understand - and definitely to accept.

If you are dealing with something similar, I urge you to be patient with yourself. It’s okay to have a month that is harder than the last. We aren’t projects that need to be fixed, or completed, but an ever-changing, living being. The game of life is over when the ‘journey’ is over, let’s embrace it as much as possible.

P.S. I now cringe at the word ‘journey’

“Stop wasting time on the stuff you don’t genuinely enjoy.”

2. Redo: Find a way to manage your own and others’ expectations

Sometimes, we need to do stuff that we just don’t want to do. It’s the reality of being an adult. It’s the consequence of living within a community, and having loved ones. My original point in the article was essentially that I swapped spending time and money on nights out, and how I have been enjoying my mornings more. This is still true.

The way I managed it before was to put a blanket ‘no’ to anything that may impede on the strict wellness routine I created for myself in order to build myself back up. At the time, it was needed, but now I realise it wasn’t an overly useful thought process.

Being able to find the words to suggest an alternative plan, being able to enjoy the night out without needing to drink (and knowing that this might change the week after) or understanding your limits means you can show up when you need too - there is always going to be a birthday night out you’d rather not go to - and it doesn’t have a knock on your wellbeing.

“There are so many women going through similar battles – you’re far from alone.”

3. Redo: Many women can, on some level, ‘get it’. But let’s take it a step further than that

Whether its PMDD, endometriosis, PMOS (the new PCOS), or just an irritation towards the lack of education around women’s health, so many women can empathise (although, I will note that this has been a mixed bag from people over the last couple of years) and listen when you open up about how you’re feeling.

But two years on, I would say that there have been times where I have felt even more isolated when sharing my experience with women. Not through fault of their own, but lots of us are just waiting to tell our experience/story of health and wellbeing challenges. The conversation can become a rallying cry for the unfairness of it all, rather than a conversation between two friends, when one is asking the other for some relief.

A simple question of:' “What’s the best way I can help you?” can make all the difference when you find someone opening up. It’s one thing to find a community of women who you can share with, it’s another to build a meaningful support system.

Some things never change

I don’t want to dismiss the article I wrote 2 years ago. It raised awareness and started a conversation around women’s wellness. Two hills I will die on is that tracking our monthly symptoms will do more than simply noting down when our periods started, and that treatment options are disappointing.

I was lucky enough to have post-chair of the Royal Collage of Nursing’s Fertility Nursing Forum, Francesca Steyn, to advise on my 2024 article. I cannot emphasis how important it is for women to get access to the reliable information when it comes to our health.

After spending some flirting with the option of helping other women manage their PMS on social media, I was quick to see that apps like TikTok are busting at the seams with coaches and wellness influencers summing up a fairly complex topic like women’s health in 30 seconds. Take this information with a pinch of salt and try to find reliable information. Unfortunately, that new shiny product won’t solve all of your problems.

The Choose Well Club is here for the women who want to be connected to reliable health and wellness advise.

Question to you: How has your opinions changed on something in the last 2 years?

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And in some ways, I had. I started seeing myself through softer eyes, not expecting every day to look or feel the same. I created boundaries, allowed slower days, and learned to meet myself with more kindness.

But something else started happening. Even as I became more compassionate, I also started feeling entitled to certain outcomes.

If I allowed myself to slow down during my luteal phase, then surely my ovulation phase should make me feel on top of it all, right?

I felt like I could make up for the days when I couldn’t find momentum, in the time when energy, focus and mood is expected to be higher (ie ovulation).

Hello…oestrogen??

Yet, this week, during ovulation, I still felt like I was crawling through mud. And those familiar, disappointed thoughts when I wasn’t performing as I expected came creeping back in.

Today, I caught myself: So what...I’m not allowed to be harsh on myself in my luteal phase, but during ovulation it’s fine to punish myself with sitting at the desk when all my brain needed was a break away?

That doesn’t sound very balanced.

It may sound simple, but it’s been an important realisation:

• We can’t expect ourselves to perform like robots.

• We can’t treat rest like a debt to repay when our hormones shift.

• Our bodies don’t owe us productivity.

Our cycle is a compass, not Google Maps

A compass helps us find direction, not dictate every turn.

Our bodies are alive, changeable, complex…not something to be optimised or perfectly timed. And that’s the beauty of it.

So what can we do instead?

I think it might be annoyingly simple. We breathe. We listen.

It’s not glamourous. It’s not complex.

It’s beautifully, simply, human.

And, a note to myself: if you find yourself scrolling aimlessly, maybe just put your shoes on and take a walk.

The stories women have shared so far have been honest, moving, and quietly powerful.

It’s clear that almost every woman does notice changes across the month. They see shifts in mood, focus, energy, and motivation. What’s less clear for many is how to respond to those shifts without guilt or frustration.

The myth of consistency

One of the strongest themes that has emerged is how deeply women want to feel consistent.

Many described the pressure to be the same person every day: equally productive, upbeat, motivated, and present. When that slips, they often blame themselves.

“I feel like I should be able to push through.”
“I know I need rest, but it makes me feel lazy.”

This feeling of failure for being cyclical runs deep. It’s not that women don’t know their energy fluctuates; it’s that they believe they shouldn’t let it.

Our culture rewards steadiness, but women’s hormones are not linear. They rise, fall, and flow in a rhythm that influences how we think, feel, and connect. Trying to hold ourselves to a constant standard of productivity leaves many women feeling like they’re falling short of a system that was never designed for them.

Knowing what helps, but struggling to do it

Another recurring pattern is that women generally know what supports them. They talk about rest, gentle movement, time outdoors, sleep, nourishing food, and connection.

But what they struggle with is doing those things consistently enough to feel the benefit.

“I know what helps, I just can’t seem to keep doing it.”
“I don’t prioritise care for myself over work.”

For some, it’s a lack of time or energy. For others, it’s mental overload and comparison culture. There’s also a sense of guilt around slowing down, as if rest requires justification.

The reality is that most women already hold the knowledge they need. What’s missing is the structure, permission, and community to put it into practice.

The desire to live in flow

Perhaps the most hopeful insight from the responses so far is the underlying emotional drive that sits beneath the frustration.

Women want to feel in flow with their bodies, not in conflict with them. They want their self-care to feel natural, not forced.

They don’t necessarily want more information about hormones. They want to feel at peace with how they move through life: physically, emotionally, and mentally.

This speaks to something deeper than wellness routines. It’s about redefining what balance and success look like for women. Maybe it’s not about being even, but about being in rhythm.

What this means going forward

These early findings are just the beginning, but they already point toward an important shift: women don’t need to be told to try harder. They need support that is kind, realistic, and rooted in the way their bodies naturally work.

The next stage of this research will look more closely at what type of guidance or structure women most want, and how that could be offered through practical, gentle, cycle-aware tools.

If you’re reading this and any of it feels familiar, I’d love for you to take part in the study. It takes around five minutes and can be completed from anywhere. Every response adds depth and meaning to the conversation we’re starting together.

Take the survey

Your experience matters. You’re helping shape a future where women’s wellbeing can be lived, not performed.

I’m continuing to share reflections and insights from this research on Instagram, and I’d love to connect with you there. You can find me at @anjasimonsen.coaching.
TikTok will be making a return soon too, stay tuned!

Through trying to find a way to help myself which didn’t involve removal of my reproductive system, my eyes were opened to the possible implications female hormones are having on the mind, body and spirit, without us even realising it.

This research was inspired by a new, dear friend I went for coffee with. When I was talking through my frustrations of the lack of support offered out there for women – all women – she was quick to lovingly push back and ask if there was any evidence behind what I thought women would benefit from.

“Sure,” I said, “I’ve read a couple of books on it and have felt the results from doing it myself after my PMDD diagnosis.”

“But, do they want it?” She asked.” Is the cycle really impacting women as a whole and, if so, how deeply do they really care about understanding it?”

It was a good question, and one I wanted to get to the bottom of. So, I put a pause on my knee-jerk reaction to act on an impulse, and have started to commit the time to understand what others have already discovered in the space before me.

An idea

When I first sat down, it dawned on me that I didn’t really know exactly what I wanted to find out. Through previous conversations with women’s health practitioners and holistic coaches as well as what my cycle tracking app told me, I knew there was clear evidence of how the rise and fall in hormones – predominantly oestrogen, progesterone and testosterone – can impact the female psychological and physical well-being.

I was invited on the podcast, Too Much Information, and said that the cycle is the female superpower. These are words I stand by, and have fully believed since I first started to learn about the cycle. Albeit, later than I care to admit.

Moving with nature

I love every season. Like a loyal parent, I hand-on-my-heart don’t have a favourite season. I also do not suffer from SAD (seasonal affective disorder) and understand how the darker days and longer nights can really impact those who do.

Currently, I am living in Vancouver, so the summers can look like weekends camping, hiking and swimming in the nearby lakes and ocean. The autumn brings a time to slow down, to cook healthy, colourful meals and enjoy sleeping without the need of a fan. Winter comes with the magic of the snow on the mountains and taking a deep breath before giving myself another chance to become a semi-comfortable skier. Then comes spring, a time of new life and colour. A beautiful circle. A rotation of goodies, when we lean in and allow it to be.

I’m lucky enough to live somewhere that gives me easy access to the things that I love the most: mountains, water to swim in, opportunities to try something new with people who have an impressive array of outdoor kit. I also acknowledge the privilege that I have, that my basic needs are met without much worry, meaning I have the brain space and resources to get curious and enjoy the other parts of life. Throughout my thinking, questioning and research, I acknowledge others are in different socioeconomic situations, and do not have the luxury of changing and adapting as nature calls us too.

For me, just like every season, every phase of the cycle brings us something to enjoy, to learn and to lean into.

The hormonal influence

This is all to say, that I don’t think the modern and shockingly frequent ‘stick a plaster on it’ approach of stopping the natural hormone production is beneficial for the number of women who are put on some form of contraception, sometimes around the time of their first period. I am not in the place to be focusing or commenting on the benefits and downfalls of taking hormonal contraception, but more questioning how the natural cycle impacts those who have it. The hormonal influence, I would argue, has a widely overlooked part in play in how a woman’s life can unfold.

My initial idea was to look into whether living in time with the menstrual cycle can improve female self-satisfaction. But I had to question this. Do women really need more guilt thrusted upon them for not doing another thing to possibly ‘better’ themselves? I don’t think so.

So, my question became: how satisfied are women in their day to day lives, anyway? And are the fluctuations even registered? Finally, what simple solutions can be offered to give women the best chance of making decisions that lead them to a life that makes them really, truly happy… and do they have an interest in actually entertaining them?

As I start this research project, I welcome any suggestions, insights or stories that people are willing to share. I will be sharing what I discover and conclusions I make on my Substack, Instagram and TikTok (when I get round to downloading the app…)

I’ve asked myself that again and again. One week I feel certain about the direction I’m heading in… and the next I’m wobbling, doubting myself, and questioning everything. I know I’m not alone in this. Uncertainty isn’t reserved for a certain type of person, but is a universal experience. So many of us flip-flop between ideas, passions, and paths. Scared it’s the wrong choice (and perhaps even more terrified it’s the right one).

Since being diagnosed with PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder) two years ago, I’ve felt a deep pull towards understanding and talking to women about their menstrual cycles. Navigating my own fluctuations opened my eyes to how much the cycle impacts every part of our lives. Yes, it can be frustrating, but when it’s truly understood, it’s incredibly powerful.

So I started a podcast. I spoke with incredible women. I even wrote an article for Stylist magazine. And then… I stopped. I backed away, convinced that even though it was something I cared deeply about I wasn’t the right person to do the work. I told myself the world didn’t need another voice in wellness.

Instead, I poured my energy into helping wellness entrepreneurs with their marketing and business strategy. I chatted with passionate people building exciting businesses. Their visions grew stronger, their businesses grew, and I told myself this was my way of helping: supporting those already doing the work. But looking back, I realise I was hiding behind their success. It was their passion, not mine.

That truth hit me during an unfiltered conversation with a new friend over tacos. At that moment, I couldn’t ignore the voice in my head: my success isn’t measured in Instagram likes or business growth charts. That fuzzy feeling in my stomach of satisfaction and success is when I help a woman understand her body well enough to make decisions from a place of clarity instead of fear. When she realises she doesn’t have to push through exhaustion, ignore her emotions, or accept that “this is just the way it is.”

The passion I want to bring to life is simple: to help women. To educate and share. To be the person who gives another permission to get curious about herself (maybe for the first time). Or to be the one who makes the woman standing in a crowded room, feeling utterly isolated, know she’s seen.

I can’t ignore that when I was invited onto a podcast recently to talk about PMDD, I felt invigorated by the certainty I hadn’t felt in a long time.

Writing this now, I feel inspired. Passionate. And honestly, scared. Scared of changing my mind again. Scared of the time I think I’ve wasted. But maybe fear isn’t a sign to stop. Maybe it’s the energy I need to move forward.

So here I am, choosing the road of fear. Choosing to show up again for the work I care about, even if my voice shakes. Choosing to believe that no time has been wasted, because every detour brought me back here with more clarity, more compassion, and more strength.

And if you’ve been flip-flopping too, please know this: it doesn’t mean you’re lost. It means you’re human. And sometimes, the path we keep circling back to is the one we were meant to take all along.

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