This post will help you remember…

You are much more than the person reflected in the mirror.

This is why you sometimes feel so much bigger than the life you’re living—because you are!

Many of us have had multiple lifetimes playing instrumental roles in highly advanced societies.

Some of us manned massive starships that ventured into unknown territories. Remember that intoxicating feeling of fear and adventure as you approached uncharted planets?

Some of us were scientists studying both physical and non-physical materials.
Recall the intense levels of concentration and immersion in discovering new elements?

Some of us were architects who built self-sustaining free energy structures that supported eons of civilization.
Can you feel the satisfaction of seeing your structures light up an entire town?

Some of us were healers who had the ability to manipulate DNA simply using energetic attunement and attention.
Remember that sense of deep connection you felt as you melded with the primordial essence of life itself?

And here we are now, a vast, rich library of dormant, otherworldly knowledge sitting in a slightly overweight human body, chugging caffeine, staring blankly at a screen, trying to plan and survive the stress of daily life here on Earth.

Sometimes, existence here can feel incredibly heavy.

There’s a constant pressure to manage every aspect of our lives to simply stay afloat. On top of our work duties, we have to maintain our relationships, finances, health, home, social connections, and remember to get our oil changed.

The upsetting part is, as advanced souls, we see through the game and often wonder, is this it?

Life can feel superficial. We don’t often care for the blind pursuit of wealth, status, or personal gain.

What’s the point? Is a question that often echoes in the back of our minds, haunting us in our sleep.

Aspirations feel impossible. Everything will fall apart anyway.

The matrix keeps repeating itself; everything feels corrupt and out of our control.

But what you’re really feeling, deep underneath all the human stuff, is…

I know I am more powerful than this, but I can’t prove it.

I can see through these systems, but I can’t escape them.

I feel like I am capable of so much, but I feel constrained, like I can’t access my own superpowers.

If you’ve ever had any of these thoughts, congrats! You’ve hit the edge of your consciousness.

I mean your larger Consciousness, not just your human identity.

And you are absolutely correct—you are bigger, more powerful, and, in a sense, immensely over-qualified for the mundane aspects of your current human existence.

This is why you are often bored but also bogged down by everyday reality.

That is not to say that the daily experiences of your life aren’t important. They are actually of the utmost significance because all of your experiences, struggles, and interactions have been specially chosen by your soul for very specific reasons.

Why your soul chose this life:

1.) To help you resolve unresolved lessons, contracts, and past traumas that are still present in your energetic field and seeking absolution.

2.) To experience all the sensations of the 3D and also to push yourself to greater levels of self-expression. Yes, pain is a big part of self-actualization.

3.) To set you up for your grand awakening. You are moving from contrast to freedom.

Oh, that last one?

It’s happening now.

Now, now.

At this moment.

In fact, in a few years, you will be a completely different person than you are now.

I’m not talking about becoming a more emotionally mature or financially responsible version of yourself. These things tend to happen naturally and linearly.

What I’m speaking about is something beyond our normal experience of mundane life.

It’s the acceleration of our consciousness to include the larger aspects of our higher self.

This includes the wisdom and gifts that we’ve accumulated from other lifetimes in other incarnations.

We are moving from being 3D humans to becoming multi-dimensional beings.

In other words, we are becoming more of who we really are.

Imagine you’re a physician in consultation with a patient. All of a sudden, you see a vision of a molecular structure in your mind’s eye, a genetic mutation that is causing your patient’s symptoms.

While this image seemingly came from nowhere, it somehow makes sense to you, and you realize it’s an aspect of your intuition coming online. And it only grows with time and nurturing.

Or…

Perhaps one day you find yourself in an argument with your spouse. It’s the second time this month they forgot their promise to you to prep all the family meals for the week, and right before you fire out your typical, “I am under a lot of stress at work, I don’t have time for this, why can’t you ever be dependable…”

Something hits you in the heart.

You feel this deep sense of empathy. It’s almost as if you can sense your partner’s pain of feeling neglected, unloved, and betrayed. Their sadness enters your being, and you can tell they have even contemplated leaving the relationship because they don’t feel connected to you anymore.

A new level of consciousness awakens within you.

A new dialogue (and new timeline) is created in that moment.

Rather than following the old habit of getting defensive and running away, you lean in: “I’m sorry for not following through; you must be disappointed in me. I’m trying my best, but I need help. Can we work together?”

Both of you are a little shocked at this new discourse, but it changes your dynamic forever.

One more…

Someone reading this is an engineer because I (the author) keep getting this vision of a person sitting at a desk, with multiple blueprints sprawled out in front of them. To the right of these blueprints is also a set of computer screens filled with spreadsheets and calculations.

This person is trying to figure out an impossible problem with incomplete data.

They give up for the night, and as they begin to relax and open their mind, they suddenly recall seeing a structure on a trip many years ago that employed the same elements of construction needed for their project.

This small lightbulb moment then leads to a new approach in analysis, pulling from the engineer’s childhood (past-life) interest in art and design, leading to an out-of-the-box solution that opens a new door to more innovations in an otherwise stagnant field.

I’m sure if you look at your own life, you will find instances where insight may have come out of the blue.

Or perhaps you get a desire to explore a question that has been sitting in the back of your mind.

Maybe you’ve been getting feelings and sensations that don’t feel like yours but that belong to your clients or even the collective whole.

Some of you have a desire to completely change the course of your career and living situation.

This is all normal.

No, it does not require you to drop everything and follow a whim.

Instead, simply give more to kindle the fire of inspiration.

Chances are, there will be limiting beliefs that will surface and keep you from pursuing your dream.

This is your next step.

Acknowledge and heal the parts of you that are scared of pursuing an aligned and flowing life.

Then, go.

Don’t linger in the healing for longer than you need. You’ve already had enough.

Because your future is, in some ways, the opposite of your past.

Instead of restriction, fear, self-suppression, and people-pleasing, you embrace the other side of life, which is freedom of expression, creation, and healing partnerships.

This leads you to the grand awakening where your human avatar melds with your infinite soul.

When this happens, your frequency shifts dramatically.

You literally vibrate on a higher level. You will notice that your earthly, human problems feel incredibly small and your perspective becomes wider and deeper, as if you can see through time itself.

You will be living your same human life but with a supernatural level of confidence, understanding, and compassion that bends the field of 3D linear reality.

Life opens to meet your level of awareness

Imagine getting caught in the rain as a normie; you’d likely feel annoyed, wonder why you’re so unlucky all the time, and try to rush home without getting wet, all the while feeling victimized by not just the rain but by all of the other experiences you’ve felt out of control of your circumstances.

This is how most of the world lives, completely moved by their unexamined thoughts and emotions. They feel like life is a constant struggle, trudging through the motions and desperately seeking moments of pleasure or numbness.

As you raise your frequency, you no longer feel reactive and rejected by whatever happens in life.

Rather than being a victim of the weather, you feel the weather is an extension of your experience.

You even savor the feeling of droplets on your head and smile at the shared experience with the others around you also ducking out of the rain. You are thankful for the surprise storm. You feel the trees soaking in the moisture; you see how everyone is paying more attention to the road conditions; you notice how much more grateful you are for your warm home and creature comforts.

As you continue to raise your frequency, you notice the invisible web connected to the rain. You feel the consciousness of every drop, and you notice this water is part of wisdom that has circulated the planet since the beginning of time.

As the droplets touch your skin, you feel more alive. You feel your energy being cleansed and activated. You feel a stirring of old memories, an ancient lifetime where you helped build an irrigation system for your village.

This brief memory reverberates through your being, and all of a sudden you feel a sense of inspiration and rapture—as if you are connected to something bigger than you.

The rain has transported you across time and dimensions, and it has stirred a part of your being that was dormant before. You feel more alive, more clear, and more connected.

You realize everything unfolds for your greatest life experience.

Everything is a portal to higher awareness.

The world is alive and waiting for you to tap in.

_______________________________________________________________________

Awaken Your Past-Life Gifts

I’m hosting 2 free live classes to help you wake up your multidimensional self!

Join me and my psychic bestie, Allyson, as we dive into the unique energetics of this time and how healers and creators can open up to their higher-dimensional spiritual gifts and bring them into your life, business, relationships, and beyond!

This will be the last time I will be doing anything live for the rest of the year, so make sure to RSVP to secure your spot.

(Last time we had over 2000 registrants!)

RSVP and learn more here: https://www.allysonscammell.com/remember

Dates:

Wednesday, September 2nd and Tuesday, September 15th

(Same topic. Pick one or join us for both!)

Time:

8am PST (Los Angeles)
10am CST (Chicago)
11am EST (New York)
4pm GMT (London)

Got questions? Leave them in the comments below :)

Somewhere within us, we carry the raging battlefield of our childhood environs deep in our psyche.

The bickering voices of our parents become our inner judge and harshest critic. The bullies who threatened our sense of self still torment us psychologically, so much so that we can never feel too comfortable in our own skin.

Sometimes we may still catch ourselves bracing for the other shoe to drop even if there is nothing to react to because our nervous systems do not yet trust that the world is safe for our sensitive and empathetic spirit.

But the winds of our delicate ecosystem have shifted.

Something profoundly different is taking shape now.

I’m sure you’ve felt it.

We are not meant to simply live with the fallout of the trauma we’ve experienced over our lifetimes. Yeah, sure, the previous generations had to grin and bear it or medicate themselves to oblivion, but that is not us, the paradigm has fundamentally shifted.

Now, in this time of expanded consciousness, more people than ever have access to higher states of truth and self-awareness.

This opens up drastically different opportunities for more quantum timelines.

That is, the reality construct that we grew up in, the 3D, is rapidly collapsing, and a non-linear, seemingly magical and unpredictable one is taking it’s place.

And what of our inner trauma and our sense of identity? The fragmented pieces of our soul that feel indelibly tethered to the 3D?

Here is an important realization: our pain is not a barrier to freedom.

In fact, it is the key to unlocking something that we’ve been unconsciously chasing our entire lives…

…the memory of who we really are.

But first, let’s talk about how old reality is collapsing

Does it seem that everything is becoming a surreal, heightened and exaggerated expression of itself?

One only needs to look at the daily headlines to see how politics, financial markets, economics, and the environmental and social landscape are unfolding at a level that is so extreme it feels like a parody.

Some days, we have to laugh to keep from crying.

What do you mean our president is offering insider knowledge to traders willing to pay a $100k/mo membership? How are companies that produce no annual profits valued in the trillions? People are working more than ever, but somehow are earning less?

Corruption is so blatant, free markets are so manipulated, and news is so tainted that we are absolutely forced to see reality for what it really is: nonsense.

What the universe is trying to tell you

Reality does not follow logic nor expectation.

The truths that we were taught growing up: bad people get punished, working hard means more success, being a good person makes you entitled to a good life, the church is your salvation, money buys freedom, etc. are not only not applicable today; they are borderline absurd.

Truth can no longer be found in the external.

In fact, the external feels just as unpredictable and as turbulent as a drugged up person’s fever dream.

Alas, that is what reality has always been: a mirrored reflection of one’s internal state.

It's just that now, because everything is so heightened, we cannot ignore the fact that it is virtually impossible to “get a grasp” on what reality is.

There is no reality to grasp!

Unless you create it first.

What you’ve been unconsciously incubating this whole time

At this point, our minds have been operating past mental capacity and feel dangerously close to burnout, while our bodies are exhausted carrying responsibilities that seem both never-ending and yet still fall short of creating the life that we envisioned for ourselves.

Yet this whole time, in the background, something remarkable has been happening.

In the decades that you’ve been braving the storm of life, you’ve also been building and strengthening your inner core of truth and discernment.

You’ve been pressure-testing millions and millions of data points, seeking what is true versus what are lies and illusions that the 3D wants you to believe.

The survival instinct you’ve developed in early life has never ceased; rather, it’s only enhanced your search for what feels right and solid in this new landscape.

This is why so many of us see so clearly now.

We have curated a level of deep insight and intuition that pierces the 3D construct.

We are no longer fooled by what our eyes see because we know that reality begins within. We know the true source of life comes from our connection to our own source energy and creative power.

We see the world for what it really is, regardless of how mainstream forces want to skew the truth.

We see people for who they really are and their intentions despite the masks they wear.

We see how the institutions of power thrive off keeping people disempowered and dependent.

More importantly, we see what is not aligned with our radar of truth.

We’re able to hold the contrast of 3D and 5D, that what we see and touch is less real than what we know in our gut.

In this liminal space, we’ve actually created a separate compartment in our cognitive field where we store our own truth, our vision of the world, and our authentic personal essence.

We know we are walking infinite source consciousness that has no name, no limits, no identity, yet we still answer to “Anna” or “mom” or “writer” and take on those roles in the 3D because it is an integral part of our life experience.

The years of wallowing in illusion have enabled us to form a stronger and more vivid version of our values, belief systems, and expanded sense of self.

The projections that we had to live through helped sharpen our compass for our own inner knowing.

And it is this knowing that is crowning and blooming through the crevices of our psyche, seeking expression in the new world.

Now is the time for you to reach into these depths and bring your vision into the world, no matter how vague it is.

This is your time of exploration and of creation.

The electromagnetic energy infusing the planet is dissolving borders of time and space.

This is your lifetime to access all lifetimes.

This was not possible before because of the heaviness of the collective consciousness.

Imagine how difficult the jump is from being born into a social landscape that said you are a shameful, wretched creature and your only hope of salvation is through some church or institution, to believing that you are a part of Divine intelligence with the power to create reality.

It took a few hundred lifetimes to get here, but here we are!

Hooray!

The more we embrace our infinite, timeless nature, the more we are able to connect with the memories and gifts from our many lifetimes.

Our memories are portals.

They enable us to access parts of ourselves that exist beyond the current 3D.

And, as with all doorways, you have the free will to walk through or not.

It is normal to feel unsteady and fearful of stepping away from everything that you’ve known and been taught, everything that has brought you comfort and belonging, and everything that reminds you of loved ones and enables you to fit in with most of humanity.

I don’t say this lightly: if you choose to walk through the threshold of higher consciousness, the world and everything within it that you think you know will cease to exist.

You may feel that a part of you is dying.

You may feel an inexplicable distance from the people you love.

Everything that you thought was real dissolves into the realm of fiction.

This is why most people choose to snuggle deeper in the matrix.

They double down on believing the fearmongering that they see in the news.

They point fingers at others, convinced that there are good people and bad people, and unknowingly create more division and hatred.

However, if you are one of the people who have felt the nudge of expansion, as if you have grown too big for your current identity, then, sorry to say you have no choice.

Your higher self is knocking at the door, and you must open it.

And when you do, you find the door leads to what at first appears to be a vast void, an unfamiliar space where your mind has nothing to hold on to.

But it feels familiar, even if by appearances, it seems incredibly foreign and daunting.

Oh, I forgot to mention that in this journey into your higher consciousness, into the actualization of your infinite potential and authentic self—your logical mind is not your friend.

Your mind and your ego will keep you tethered in the 3D, fearing for your life, scared to lose the identity you’ve developed as your human avatar.

But the rest of your being- your heart, your body, your senses, your inner knowing resonates at a frequency that is much more aligned with your authentic self.

I know it’s not an easy ask: surrender everything that you think is you (your ego) and embrace everything that is really you (the unknown, the infinite).

But you don’t have to do it alone.

There are plenty of others (like me!) who are also walking into the void.

But the difference is, we aren’t taking leaps into the darkness hoping the net will appear.

Because we know we are the net.

Our goal isn’t to attain some sense of achievement, success, validation, or other ego-centric win.

Rather, it’s to simply follow our own vague inner compass, navigating the bridge between worlds to discover who we really are.

Note from the author:

Hi y’all!

As some of you may have noticed, I’ve been working deep in the void and in hibernation mode. I’ve learned so many things and am coming back up to the surface to share them with you.

We are beginning with remembering our personal essence. Next week I’m going to share how to find your unique soul gifts and access deeper multidimensional memories.

If this sounds like your jam, stick around and share the shifts that you’ve been experiencing in the comments.

Also…

Welcome, new readers and subscribers!

This is a free newsletter where I share with you a very different perspective than 99% of what you see out there.

I don’t teach you how to thrive in the 3D (which is what most people teach); rather, I show you how to escape it and land in higher consciousness so that you can bring this more expansive perspective into your everyday lives.

It makes everything much more enjoyable, trust me!

If you’d like more live dives into the 5D, u can follow me on…

IG @ms.annatsui
and Tiktok @ms.annatsui

Note: these are my only accounts! Beware of many fake accts—I never DM you!

See you there!

xoxo,

Anna

Living from the ego is thrilling, exciting, dramatic, dangerous, and incredibly painful.

We feel alive, important, and a participant in the world.

But often at a cost.

That cost is not realizing that we are living as a machine, a programmed simulation running on software that was written without our consent.

Software that diverts awareness away from our true consciousness.

That keeps us plugged into loops of relationship drama learned from our parents, and forms of oppression that put us into neat slots as if we were cattle. This programming sets us up for our own self-destruction, not liberation.

But, during this half-dream state of being a machine, we get glimpses of who we really are.

Sometimes, in the midst of chaos, we experience an inexplicable inner peace.

Sometimes, when facing tremendous obstacles, we just know, for no reason, that it will be ok.

Sometimes we sacrifice everything we’ve built to follow a greater calling, and there is a quiet and subtle sense that it is the right decision.

Moments of lucidity

During yet another argument with a loved one about the same triggering topic, a thought pops up: I don’t want to feel this way, so why do I continue arguing the same points?

At some point in life, we all feel:

I don’t want the default life scripted for my age, gender identity, race, or background; I want something better. I want a life on my terms.

These moments change everything because your true self is overriding the software.

You’ve decided to play a different game altogether.

Rather than the game of belonging, you’re choosing the game of being.

People addicted to ego are rarely interested in the game of being.

In the game of belonging, there are many enemies: rich people, poor people, Christians, Jews, Muslims, women, men, trans & non binary people, leftists, conservatives, capitalism, socialism, your own parents, your body, and sometimes even your own children!

This is what makes life so interesting, the battle of ideas and sects of people against one another—and it never ends!

But of course, I am the right one. My religion, my beliefs, and my actions are righteous.

I am constantly seeing, judging, and scanning for threats against how I want the world to be.

In fact, my beliefs define who I am and how people see me. And I want to make sure that I’m seen as a smart, successful and good person.

Because my life depends on it.

Because I have nothing else to show who I really am.

I need my accomplishments and my identity to be verified so that I know I am a good person.

Otherwise, I will be nothing and nobody. I won’t have status, I won’t have friends, I won’t have meaning.

Ah, but that is where the truth begins.

I am nothing

I am no one.

I have no real status (it’s all made up)

I don’t own anybody.

I have no meaning.

I just exist.

Do you feel the peace in that?

Do you feel your breath settle in your belly and your mind stop racing?

In this void…

I learn that I am the living essence

I am timeless and eternal

I am a vessel of consciousness

I am living and breathing form

I am the infinite yet also present

I am here, but also extend to places beyond my comprehension

I am not just ___my name___ I am much bigger

Then I notice that everything around me is also alive with its own consciousness, but I didn’t notice that before because I was not breathing with intention, because I chose to ignore everything other than my busy existence.

There is a consciousness in every leaf that also extends through the tree and into the greater ecosystem.

There is a greater consciousness in my dog that is filled with wisdom and humor that is beyond his slobbery physical form.

We are meant to live from a place of consciousness; this is true alignment.

There is consciousness in the air, in the different emotions that I feel, in the space between spaces, in the rays of the sun, and, of course, in the people living in this household, whom I interact with on a daily basis.

A consciousness that I may not notice because I get so stuck seeing them as their personality.

This is when people can truly be seen for the gifts that they are.

My toddler isn’t just a loud, needy, ball of destruction. His consciousness is imbued with insatiable curiosity, a desire to connect with others, and brings a sense of deep presence and wonder to my otherwise distracted and self-centered existence.

Everything has consciousness, everything is alive—and this imbues me with life, constantly.

Rather than becoming more and more depleted by living from the ego (which naturally resists life), we can become more and more nourished from the consciousness of everything.

We are all surrounded, at every moment, with…

Vibrancy. Energy. Manna.

This is life force.

This is what the software keeps you from feeling.

The sensation of not living in your head constantly and chasing goals, the sensation of being alive in the present moment.

So alive, so lucid, so awake that your being begins to bloom, and everything that was previously such a big deal no longer has the same hold on you.

Experiences that drained your energy and caused pain in the past, when met with consciousness, become transformed into deeper connection and dare-I-say enlightenment.

I have been having a very difficult time for the past few months and found myself in a near-constant state of pain depending on the symptoms of my physical body.

It took some time, but eventually I became conscious enough to realize that I was living in my pain-body and rarely coming up for air. I was stuck in the old programming my mind already possessed around physical illness (I was a sick kid). I became trapped in old stories of how I would never get better, of how I would never be able to do the things that I really wanted to do, etc.

Then, one day, I had had enough.

Lucidity finally caught up to me.

I made the decision to transform the pain-body.

When I had a quiet moment, I connected to my consciousness, breathed deeply, and simply noticed the discomfort and sensations arising in my body.

I noticed the thoughts that came with it and allowed them to pass, while solely focusing on the sensations of the body, without judgment or need to feel differently.

I let go of the story that this is pain.

I let go of the meaning I give it: I’m suffering, this sucks, I hate this, etc.

I just sit in my gentle awareness, experiencing a sensation that has no meaning or definition.

And often it dissolves.

And if it comes back and I notice it again, I sit with it without judgment. Maybe even with a bit of love, a bit of compassion, and respecting and honoring my body, doing what it needs to do.

Then, rather than becoming disempowered and victimized, I am sovereign, I am witness, I am living presence.

This changes everything.

The goal is not to change the pain.

The goal is simply to be with it without the additional stress of an inner story.

Then my strength becomes restored because I am no longer fighting the moment (this is horrible, what did I do to deserve this, I need to get better now, etc.)

Instead, I sit in the moment in the acceptance of reality.

Here I am free.

Life happens, pain happens, wonderful and difficult moments happen—and I am no longer a prisoner.

I am the being who can be with it all and allow it to transform (everything is always in a constant flux of change).

And so I realize that pain can be a portal to consciousness. And consciousness is a portal to freedom.

Freedom is our true state.

What doesn’t feel free is a story.

The ego is the ultimate storyteller, often weaving narratives of suffering.

Surrender the story, and life will be your teacher.

Your pain-body will transform from being the inner armor that you need to fight the world to being a network of consciousness meant to anchor you deeper in it.

Your struggle will turn into surrender.

Your suffering will become your liberation.

For the past few months, I’ve found myself trapped, lost within my own negative thinking, and unable to escape from the thoughts that used to plague me in my youth.

What is the point of all this? Why do I have to do all this shit? When will I get time and resources to do what I want to do instead of taking care of everyone else??

I couldn’t connect with anyone or anything.

Daily tasks felt like torture.

Washing dishes and making meals for the family felt like punishment, something keeping me from freedom, versus just another thing to be done (without the emotional baggage).

I felt exhausted.

I had little patience and appreciation for those around me.

There was a tiny voice telling me that I have a great life, I should be grateful—and I intellectually know this to be true.

But it didn’t feel true.

Rather than seeing the gift of each precious moment with my exuberant son, I felt chained to endless responsibilities that I could not escape.

Has this ever happened to you?

There is nothing wrong with your life; you may even be living the circumstances that you prayed for years ago, but sometimes it feels empty, heavy, and restrictive.

And you feel ungrateful.

You wonder if you are depressed.

Your future vision or goals don’t seem relevant anymore.

Yet you have no idea how you could be even more fulfilled or feel better.

In my case, I realized I had been living in my pain-body.

Eckhart Tolle describes the pain-body as a collection of trapped emotional pain and stored suffering that remains dormant in our subconscious and energetic field until triggered.

Sometimes it feels like it has a life of its own.

Because it’s part of our unconscious mind, we aren’t really aware of it, even though it shows up frequently, especially under strenuous and difficult circumstances (which we’re all in atm!)

When it’s triggered, it can react with an almost overwhelming response.

It will likely be disproportionate to the matter at hand.

My toddler threw his clean sock into the toilet, and before I knew it, I snapped and yelled at him so loud that it shocked both of us.

It was an instant reaction from me, being constantly yelled at as a child, and I didn’t even consciously do it; it just happened.

But, even though I wasn’t yelling all the time, in my mind, my pain-body was screaming for my attention.

The pain-body speaks.

In fact, it has a specific roster of thoughts that feel so familiar to you that they trick you into believing they are true.

When I tune into the moments when I felt trapped, simple moments like washing dishes that felt never-ending, or having to clean up yet another mess, instead of being able to rest.

Those feelings of irritation, resentment, and anger are signature traits of my pain-body.

I was always nit-picked and controlled growing up. I could never do what I wanted to do because I had responsibilities to the family that were much more important, even as a young child.

Even now, as an adult living the life that I chose and created for myself, those feelings have returned, triggered by the state of the world at large and also by the dog puking on the carpet, again.

My pain-body was saying…

I’ll never be free to do what I want to do,

my needs don’t matter,

I need to earn my rest,

I’ll always be trapped helping others without others helping me in return…

However, this time. I didn’t indulge in these thoughts, which would lead to a long cycle of self-pity and outwardly directed anger.

Instead,

I stop the conversation completely.

SHOCKINGLY, and slightly shamefully, because I “know better”, I had been spending weeks negotiating with this pain-body.

We were having full-on discussions about how…

“I should be more like this, and my husband should do this, and my kid needs to stop complaining, and my dog is just a pain in the ass, blah, blah, blah.”

THIS IS WHY I’ve been out of sorts!

THIS IS WHY I’ve been in a near-constant state of endless psychological warfare within myself.

THIS IS WHY I’ve been suffering!!!

THIS IS WHY I HATE EVERYONE!!

Ok, that feels a bit better. Phew!

The allure of the pain-body

Like an addict, I dip into the consciousness-numbing salve of the pain-body when I feel overwhelmed with life.

The pain body’s allure is that it deeply understands and shares your deepest feelings of anger, self-loathing, and hatred towards the world.

It feels like a hug from a toxic ex.

We’ve both gone through hell together, and nobody understands me like you.

But this is where suffering begins. This is where we lose our true consciousness and instead allow ourselves to be permeated by the sweet nothings of drama, blame, and “this is why everything sucks for me.”

Like quicksand, the pain body begins to compress us into a tight wormhole of past woes until we are so far sunk that we don’t even realize we’ve lost all connection to the oxygen of the present moment.

We forget who we are and revert back to our traumatized state.

We get so lost in the dark, damp, isolated recesses of our mind that we forget the current reality we are sitting in (which is the only thing that’s real).

I was going through the motions of my physical reality, but my mind was in a completely different dimension.

We disassociate from the miracle of our breath, our beating heart, and the beauty of a child’s presence, and we fade into the tunnel of forgetfulness of our inner light.

Our precious sovereignty gives way to the pain of the unconscious.

The arrival of the pain-body is a signal to strengthen the force of your presence.

Technically, it is just as easy to snap out of the pain body as it is to feed into it.

A few deep breaths, centering into the present moment, feeling connected to one’s heartbeat. Grounding your feet into the ground is really all you need.

The more breath and energy you can devote to the present moment, the more resources get diverted from the part of you still lost in the story of the past.

It’s like an instant lifeline.

Yanking us from the futile struggle against the quicksand and instead allowing us to calmly pull ourselves out by our forearms.

But there is one thing that cannot come with us.

And this is why it’s so hard to extract ourselves from the darkness and enter the open air.

We must leave our identity behind.

Not just a small bit, the whole thing

Like its own nervous system, the pain-body is connected to so many of our core memories, experiences, belief systems, and coping mechanisms that make up who we think we are.

To make a decision to leave the pain body is to also leave those enmeshed emotions and ego identities behind.

Because when you decide to embrace the light of consciousness, you leave behind 99% of your human identity.

This is terrifying.

It feels like self-imposed exile from society, family, safety, human connection as you know it, because it is.

I’m sure you’ve had experiences where you were able to overcome huge personal challenges, matured, and no longer felt compelled to hang out with people who were once your best friends.

It’s not that you love them less, it’s that the pain body that enveloped you, fed you, kept you entertained with a relatable shared experience, dissolved.

You feel cut off, unmoored, alone.

Now, imagine this but on a massive level, with almost every person in your life, including almost every person in existence.

No longer do you share the standard view of the world of your peers; you feel slightly disconnected from their heartfelt expressions of grief, disillusionment, and fear.

When you are living from the present moment, you see reality for what it really is, and you realize that all emotions are fleeting, yet all around you are people creating worldviews that conform to their own inner distortions.

When I listen to my child complain about not having a snack. I listen with the same presence as I would my friend telling me about how she just lost her mother.

When my child tells me I’m not being fair because I don’t give him more snacks, I listen with the same presence as I would when my cousin tells me she was wrongfully terminated from her job while being a breadwinner for her family.

It is not my job to offer judgment:

“That’s awful! The world is so cruel! Your boss is a dick!” (This is where the pain-body thrives.)

It is not my job to respond or to solve their problem.

It is my job to be a witness because that is what they asked of me.

Then, I can ask if they want support.

Then, I can help them find solutions.

Then, I can use my presence to bring them into a state of their presence.

This is where new possibilities are created.

This is where constructive dialogues happen.

This is where we create from the light of our consciousness.

This is where, starting from our own lives, we create the world we want to live in. Based in reality, not pain.

This is where I found my salvation and newly-minted freedom, and I hope you find yours as well.

With love, Anna

P.S. If you think this would help others, please share!

Happy Lunar New Year, y’all!

Also, happy first day of Ramadan.

Happy Fat Tuesday and…

Happy “Ring of Fire” solar eclipse and new moon in Aquarius!

By the way, all of this is leading up to..

…the literal birthing point of civilization when Saturn and Neptune align at zero degrees Aries on Feb 20th!

(NB: Look out for an epic Substack LIVE with me and at noon CST on Feb 20th! Woohoo!)

So what does this all mean?

Well, it’s giving…

Big Bang vibes.

Meaning it feels like the spark before the ignition of a new era. And, within every one of us, the fire has already been building.

This is probably why we all feel like shite!

The fire, a tool of transformation, has been sparking and heating up areas in our lives and parts of our own psyche that we’ve long outgrown. Whatever we didn’t shed last year in the year of the snake is now much more difficult to ignore.

Problematic relationships will feel more tense.
Out-of-balance work situations will become increasingly unbearable.
Creative projects that you’ve put off will wake you up at night.

Every small, incremental decision you make from this point forward to choose your heart, that is: compassion, passion, and unconditional love coupled with the Fire Horse + Aries energy of movement and action, will feel like a huge leap into a new reality—because it is.

In January, I made a post about how it’s time to take an honest look at what is working well and what needs to be corrected, and begin taking steps in the right direction because one of the major themes of the Fire Horse, and the next 20 years or so, is: alignment.

For some of us who have been obsessively doing inner healing for the past few years (mostly out of necessity), you are going to see your hard work pay off this year! Your alignment creates a steady, solid path for the galloping charge of fire momentum—and it will be a sight to behold!!

But let’s consider burnout.

Speed can be exhausting without rest.
Fire is consuming if it isn’t tempered and balanced.

This is when the Feminine is needed more than ever.
(Dr. Le writes about it beautifully from a TCM perspective.)

One word: self-protective boundaries.

Ok, that’s 2 for the price of 1.

When I had my IG blow-up last month, I was gifted with the fact that my kid was home with me for a long holiday break. This meant I was busy AF, tired, sick, and committed to being as present with him as possible. I had little to no time to actually be on social media and overwork like I normally would have.

And it worked out even better than I expected.

I put up a flash sale, repurposed a post, responded to some emails, scheduled a business clinic, and that was it!

I’m still getting sales despite not posting 3-5 times a day; I barely make 2 posts a week. But I’m showing up in my life and business completely aligned with how I want to live. THAT is what we need to optimize for…

…am I being the person I desire to be? Do I feel the way I desire to feel in my life?

Commit to this, and your reality will bend around you.

Know your energy.

Know how you want to feel in your life, in your body, in your relationships, and in your business—and put up the necessary structure and boundaries needed to enable you to thrive.

Otherwise, you will burn out by next month.

You can do it, I believe in you.

Now, back to feeling like shit…

Another gift of the light of the fire of consciousness is that it has revealed to us the dark underbelly of systems of human trafficking, corruption, and abuse happening under our very noses.

We wouldn’t be able to see this unless the collective consciousness were at a high enough level to illuminate the darkness.

To me, this signifies a true shift in the evolution of humanity.

However…

We are now being systematically inundated, overwhelmed, and psychologically pummelled by an onslaught of death, destruction, and domestic government terrorism.

It is psychological warfare and is meant to make us feel unsafe, fearful, polarized, victimized, and disempowered.

THIS IS WHY WE FEEL LIKE SHITE!

Our minds have been overwhelmed to the point of exhaustion so that we cannot rest, and so we give in rather than fight for what is right. Well, rebellion is a trait of the Age of Aquarius, and it’s going to continue until the new structures are built (and all those f*ckers are in jail) so I guess it’s time to get radicalized! Woo!

SO HERE IS THE PLAN,

DON’T WORRY,

THERE IS A PLAN

Be in the world, but not of it.

I believe in spiritual activism. I believe we need to take action towards creating the world we want to live in.

Many, many times, I consciously take off my “5D” glasses where everyone is connected, worthy of love, and there is no judgment.

Instead, I just sit in the pain and agony of mothers who’ve lost their children to war, trafficking, gun violence, child predators, and hunger.

Sometimes this pain consumes me.
Sometimes it fuels me.

But I do NOT carry it with me.

Often, I am moved to support, petition, donate, and be an activist for causes.
Often, I hold my kid a little tighter.
Often, I feel bad that I can’t do more.

But I never lose vision or hope that, even incrementally, the world is getting better. Actually, my energy is that I know the world is getting better, and I see more and more people being empowered every day.

I do not believe that being spiritual means living in a bubble where you try to keep “high vibes.” I think the people who do that probably have a backlog of shadow work waiting for them.

However, the moment you feel heavy, overwhelmed, anxious, or depressed, it means you’ve given too much at the cost of your own health. It means you’re holding the suffering of the world in that big heart of yours.

And you need to detach and come back to the present moment.

We don’t need more burnt-out lightworkers; we need more whole ones.

This is the trick: be in the world and do what feels right in your heart, but do not carry it with you.

Do not carry the fear that society wants to instill in you. Fear actually corrupts our DNA and is transferred to the next generation.

Rather than carry the world on your shoulders, transmute it.

Allow the sorrows of all beings to wash over you, through the mountains, the trees, and the oceans, and return to Source as love.

This is the fire of transformation. This is the stallion carrying the torch of destiny into the new era.

We are all here together, but we are only responsible for what is directly within us and what is directly in front of us.

Everything else and everyone else is in good hands.

Repeat: Everything else is in good hands.

Read: You are not responsible for the well-being of every human being in existence. They are sovereign. See them as powerful Divine beings, always guided, always resourced.

If you desire, send love and healing and nourishment to the world and to yourself; this does more than you know.

Hold steady the truth of your heart: you are loved, you are infinite, and you will always be ok.

May your light be bright.

May you claim all the desires in your heart.

May you stay grounded in the truth of the power of who you are.

Writing a memoir for no one.

Starting a podcast that is the same as 15 others.

Sharing info that is indistinguishable from a 5-second ChatGPT query.

Creating an APP that sounds good in your head but has no actual benefit to others.

Rather than going into the world and seeing what your audience needs, you create secretly in your echo-chamber, telling yourself that once you’re ready, you’ll launch it to the world.

But in reality, you’re not in artistic hibernation.

You’re hiding.

You’re burying yourself in your work of making your website or your oracle deck perfect and pretty, but every single bit of it is disconnected from the real world and what people are actually going through.

You are working on a vanity project, not an actual offering with impact.

This may have worked in the past.

But as Neptune, the planet of illusion and collective ideals, moves out of dreamy, idealistic Pisces and into Aries, the sign of individual action, your wistful plotting in the background feels a bit self-indulgent and out of touch.

The last time Neptune was in Aries, the American Civil War happened.

The last year of the Fire Horse sparked China’s Cultural Revolution.

We are moving away from collective dreaming and delusions and instead springing into action and embodying all of the internal healing we’ve been doing for decades.

Those who cling to the old way of doing things, where you think having the perfect book or program or podcast will automatically make an audience flock to you—that is a delusion that is keeping you stuck in a loop of disconnection.

I hate to burst your bubble, but you’re here to wake up.

Be honest with yourself.

If you’re not on the front lines connecting with people about their worries, their pain, their internal psychological warfare—why would they buy your stuff??

If you are not building a following, a coalition, a community, a network of people who are benefiting from your presence and being in your world—what is it that you’re really offering?

A nice-looking, nice-sounding, creative thing isn’t enough anymore.

Is your presence truly additive to your space?

Or is it giving “look at me,”

“Check out all the hard work I just did.”

“Look how creative I am.”

“See, my life is so interesting.”

Unless your last name is Obama, people aren’t going to flock to your story just because it’s inspirational or because you’ve gone through something tough.

Trust me, I’m in the trenches with you, trying to save you decades of self-loathing and tens of thousands of dollars in creating a product that nobody wants.

The old way of marketing is:

“Let me think of all the ways I can sell you something.”

I’ll build a personal brand!

I’ll hire a marketing company!

I’ll publish a book!

I’ll launch a campaign!

I’ll take out mega ads!

(Note this is all about push)

While the new way is:

“Let me be in the world, let me see what people really need and create/connect this for them.”

Engage in ongoing conversations.

Start a movement, fund causes you believe in.

Prop up other creators doing the same.

Be clear on your role in a society going through political/economic upheaval.

Love humanity, love them so much that you decide to be a force for good.

Lean into the intersection of your passions and helping others.

Make content that is original, about the topic above.

Have your DM’s full of people who both love you and cry about how you inspire them as well as people who can’t stand you and call you horrible names.

Then, and only then, write the book.

Hey guys, if you liked this post, you’re really going to like Content Clarity Lab.

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Hardly anyone has fire flowing through their veins anymore.

Just because you are the loudest, richest, have the most testosterone, or have a million followers does not mean you can hold fire, let alone embody it.

Fire is the reward of someone who has done the work of finding truth.

Not in echo chambers, not in false idols, and definitely not in the ego.

Fire is an inner spark that can ignite an entire body of work, spark social movements, and wake up masses of people in an instant.

When someone claims their voice and uses it to say something truly meaningful (in service of the greater good), they lay their entire existence in front of you. They open themselves to public scrutiny, judgment, attack, and ridicule.

Which is why most people talk a lot but don’t actually say anything.

Sure, they give pointers, share bulletpoints, write roadmaps, talk about how great their strategy or modality is, but they don’t have an original opinion.

Their mission is to make money, feed their own self-importance, and further feed the machine rather than help others seek liberation from it.

Beyond their generic content pillars, they barely know who they are speaking to. Their audience isn’t real people going through the most disruptive periods in their life; rather, they are statistics needing to be monetized.

They don’t get too vulnerable, they don’t get too political, they don’t get too specific, they don’t want to ruffle feathers, they don’t want to sound dumb, they want to be taken seriously, and more importantly…

…they want to hide.

They want to hide behind their intellectualism, their credentials and certifications, their important corporate job titles, their 7/8/9-figure business, their bestselling books, and their public persona—which is a mask that has slowly fused with their real face to the point where they are indistinguishable, even to the owner.

And what is it that they are hiding from?

If you’re a man.

You are hiding from responsibility.

You are hiding from the responsibility of owning your role in making the world a safer and better place for your family and your community.

You don’t want to do it.

You would rather put yourself in a bubble of the importance of your career or startup, or simply say “I didn’t vote for that.”

However, every day that you abscond from taking ownership of your place in the world, your fire dies, and you will never know the true expanse of your strength or impact.

And you will never gain the respect that you desperately crave. That can only be given to those who fight in the ring.

• Being the top performer in software sales is not fighting in the ring.

• Optimizing your cold plunge routine and making more AI noise is not fighting in the ring.

• Creating shareholder value is not fighting in the ring.

• Sending your kids to the best private school is not fighting in the ring.

Using your voice, your flesh and blood, your attention, and your resources to create a world you want to see is fighting in the ring.

Being a present father, husband, and son is fighting in the ring.

Protecting those who need help is fighting in the ring.

Using your career/business/platform to fuel your social mission is fighting in the ring.

Setting aside your pride and being an instrument of change and reform is fighting in the ring.

Caretaking your aging parents is fighting in the ring.

Men, if you’re having an identity crisis, if you’re unclear on how to grow your business, if you don’t know what to do with your career, or how to be successful, it’s not an issue of needing clarity or strategy; it’s an issue of directing your energy to helping others first, and then your path will unfold.

Then you will know how you fit in the world.

Then you will know who you really are.

Until then, you’re not moving the needle, you’re not really challenging yourself to grow, you’re not really having an impact—and deep in your soul you know this.

Stop avoiding it.

Embrace it.

Take responsibility.

Everything else follows.

And if you’re a woman?

You’re hiding from making one important decision.

You need to decide if you feel safe in the world or not.

Mind you, you have generations of maternal DNA that screams to every cell in your body that the world is f*cked up and you need to protect yourself.

If you have not decided that it is safe to share your truth with others, your messaging will reflect that deflection.

It shows up as confusion; you never really get to the point.

You’re always questioning whether you are doing it right or if people are going to care about what you say or how you may look.

Your words might sound good, but they don’t land in the heart because you have closed off your emotional connection to the world and relied solely on your head which communicates the same “live your best life” language ad nauseam.

You’re still trying to be polite.

You’re still trying to make other people comfortable, you’re still trying to be likeable and relatable.

Fire does not thrive in murkiness.

Fire is the weapon that burns away all that is false.

This is why you unconsciously stay away from bold statements or daring creative expression, because you…don’t really exist.

You lost a piece of you a long time ago, and she will not return to a home that feels restrictive, emotionally barren, and disengaged.

For women who are having issues getting traction in their business, ask yourself one question: if you had no fear, what would you do differently?

If you decided that you are the safety you’ve desperately been longing for, what would you be free to say, to create, to do?

Society does not want a woman who feels safe in the world, because she will call the men in her life to task, she will know her worth and her power and never settle for less, she will set all everyone ablaze as she releases lifetimes of shame, guilt and responsibilty that was never hers to hold.

She will finally be free—and free women have a tendency to release others from their cages.

So, if this is you, decide where your safety lies and choose to be dangerous.

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More to come! I write these fresh on the spot; I don’t schedule anything, so you can be sure these posts are tapped in, never stale. I always read your comments :)

Notice the title did not say “The Rise of Optimism,” nope, that likely won’t be happening for a little while.

But the optimists, that’s a different story.

Optimism is a choice, a lifestyle—a reinvention.

It’s a deliberate way of assigning order and meaning to an otherwise bleak and excruciating existence.

Some optimists are simply avoiding dealing with their darker emotions.
Some optimists are created by spiritual awakening.
Some optimists come from having a naturally great life.
And some optimists are forged from the fire.

Take a guess who we will be discussing here?

The latter.

Here is the crazy thing about optimism forged through fire—you could be in the middle of a life crisis right now and choose to come out as a different person, not a walled-off ball of resentment, but a completely new person from who you were before tragedy struck.

As survivors, we get to choose how we emerge from the ashes.

If you are in this space right now,

I implore you to slowly, gently

scoop up the pieces of your broken heart

and assemble them even bigger than before (in time).

If your body feels foreign, painful, neglected

give it gentle kisses of sunshine and orange blossom water until it feels like home again.

Soften your defenses so that you can receive more goodness from life, rather than pushing it away.

Yes, you deserve it.

Yes, take it even if you don’t think you deserve it.

Grasp your shattered ego and broken self-identity
and fragment by fragment,
re-create yourself with kindness, understanding, and compassion.

Be a Frankenstein of intention.
Wear your war wounds proudly.

You may feel weaker at first, unsteady in your newfound rose-colored lenses as the world seems to devolve closer and closer to chaos

But one day something weird will happen…

You will notice a streak of neon sunlight peaking through the trees.
The remarkable thing isn’t that there was sunlight in the trees, but that you noticed it.

At the office, you have the same conversation with the same colleague, but this time you notice that their eyes are brighter than before. You mention it, and it turns out their kid just finished their last round of chemo and is in remission. Out of nowhere, you give them a big hug and both of you burst into tears.

You walk your dog.
It’s freezing.
You bend over to pick up a heaping pile of poo.
Slip.
Your ass hits the concrete like a sack of potatoes.
Your mind is in shock, and in the split second while it’s trying to locate the appropriate reaction (shock? anger? embarrassment?)
Your thoughts get interrupted
by the hysterical cackles of your unhinged laughter.

(Written in bed, no edits)

We never really see people clearly. We always see what we want to see.

Our perception is often skewed by our experiences, traumas, cultural norms, and belief systems.

We could grow up alongside someone and never really know them, because who we think they are is based on the story that we tell ourselves in our heads—and it has very little to do with who they really are.

When I was in my 20’s I had a reputation for being able to work with the most difficult people.

Some of these folks were heads of departments, disgruntled staff, delivery drivers, directors, faculty, admissions counselors, etc. they would often give everyone a hard time, except for me.

I was the admin for the Dean of Liberal Arts which required me to pretty much know everyone in our college and university. I would deliver important documents to the faculty, chat up the folks at the Chancellor’s office, bribe the facilities and IT folks with donuts—it was a great time!

I also witnessed people grieve, lose their temper, sleep under their desk, act out personal vendettas and say things that could get them in a lot of trouble at a public institution.

(Alas, I am no snitch but I have some stories!)

These characters, I saw them, the whole person beyond their work persona. And, to me, having gone through what they’ve gone through and to work as hard as they had to work—all of their proclivities and quirks just made sense to me.

In fact, I loved them for it.

I loved how one of our Assistant Deans screamed at the secretary of Sociology telling her the schedule she made was so nonsensical that she must be a drunk.

I loved how one of our young history professors was apparently having an extramarital affair with another staff member on campus, it just made sense to me that she would something like that! She was always dressed up and very coquettish.

I don’t condone any of this behavior of course, but I also didn’t judge it. Firstly, it was none of my business but, deep down, I just knew that they were sorta troubled souls trying to find their way.

Perhaps, in today’s social context some of these folks might be labeled as “sociopaths” or “narcissists” or “elitists” and then these labels would then influence our perception of them even more so.

Maybe we’d be more cautious as to not feed into their need for “narcissistic supply” or begin to suspect that everything they are saying is some sort of angle in some nefarious scheme to assert power.

And, while I do believe psychological diagnosis can be extremely helpful in understanding and assessing risk and how to keep one safe from predatory or toxic behaviors—it’s still not a true estimation of character.

Because the mind is a faulty machine, and it cannot accurately see the truth of who a person is.

If anything, I see people creating stories of another person in their head and they become so convinced with these stories that they can’t see beyond the narrative.

I remember a friend complaining about their significant other and I had to pause and think if they had started seeing another person because the partner they were convinced was so “selfish” to me actually exhibited very healthy boundaries.

The ego co-ops the mind to weave stories about people that we then believe to be true.

“People who voted for Trump are…”

“Men who cheat on their wives are…”

“Women who don’t get married are…”

But we weave stories about everyone and it’s kinda scary to think that we move through our lives encountering versions of people who are quite literally made up in our heads.

As a proud recipient of marriage counseling, I can tell you that this plays out everyday where one of us misconstrues the motive, intention and meaning of the other.

Someone says “I need space.”

The other person heard “They don’t care about me and they are going to leave”

When the speaker just wanted a moment to collect their thoughts as to not cause an argument.

All of this to say, that the mind and ego are not impartial observers; they are, rather, mirrors of our inherent bias.

So then, who can we trust to tell us no lies????!!!

The heart.

Obviously.

The part of us that feels an innate connection with every living thing. It’s been shown that the heartbeats of strangers in a waiting room will sync up within minutes of sitting next to each other.

The heart can sense, the entire journey of a person, even through multiple lifetimes, whereas the mind can only see a snippet of their charcteristics.

Meaning, the heart is plugged into a greater data grid, that of this individual’s soul as it strives to do the best that it can with the life that it was given.

The heart feels the others intention, and more importantly, knows that everyone’s path is one of exploration and learning.

The heart is beyond judgment, it just understands.

The heart is our most patient mother and does not see fault, only a child trying to get a grasp on life.

The perspective of compassion is the only valid and accurate lense to view others and to view oneself.

It is the only truth.

And when we see ourselves and others in Truth, we free them from the shackles of our judgment and give them the grace they need to be the best version of themselves.

But there is a catch…

This only works if we embody it for ourselves first.

Obviously.

So, in the light of this new year, may we forgive ourselves of all our faults and surrender the unconscious narrative that shapes our reality…

and instead shift that inner voice to speak LOVE to and of ourselves and kindness to those who need it the most.

Are you with me??

Most people fear themselves.

They spend their lives running.

into the arms of others

into the throws of power

into institutions and false gods.

Sometimes this fear motivates, it makes them skinnier, busier, and optimized to death.

But fear is insatiable.

the hunger for achievement
belonging
love
relevancy, grows and grows.

And, like a cancer, it will feed on itself and those around it, but it will never be satisfied.

Fear is always seeking something—and it’s never what you think.

You think you want freedom.
You think you want wealth.
You think you want intimacy.

But it’s actually much deeper than that.

You want to be at home with yourself.

You crave the unconditional love of your own soul.
You long for the acceptance of your loving heart.
You yearn for the union of your higher self.

When someone is living in fear, they get distracted from this simple truth.

And so their whole lives are spent endlessly pursuing everything else but the treasure that is their own being.

When someone is truly at home within themselves, their inner world is a sanctuary.

They feel no need to chase, perform, or change any aspect of themselves
because they are loved and received as they are.

They don’t feel moved by scarcity, danger, or fear
because everywhere they go, they carry within them their own sense of abundance, safety, and courage.

They are one with their truth, immune to manipulation.

They are at peace with themselves; there is no need to seek validation.

They are confident in the timing and order of the universe; they know everything is working in their favor.

When we feel at home in ourselves, we lose interest in running.

We seek instead to beautify, to refine, to rest.

The ironic thing is…

We always want what we already have.

You, my dear reader, already possess everything you could ever want.

I will help you see it.

This is my gift for you for 2026 and beyond.

And the fear?

Well,

It’s the fear that…

…at the end of all our exploring,

despite our toil and sacrifice,

we never discover who we really are.

I thought it would be so cool to get 10 new followers. I wasn’t sure I could do it so I decided to take a screenshot to remind myself the next morning.

Holy shit 1000 new followers! That’s insane!

People started messaging me..

9k

You’re at 23,000 now!

You hit over 1 million views!

Within 2 days…

I had gained over 64,000 followers on IG 🤯 and nearly 200 new Substack 🤯🤯 (hi, guys!)

With only 3 posts!!

And the numbers are still growing.

Now, I have more private client sessions than I can handle.

Not to mention sale after sale of my online courses—I had to pay for more storage space in my CRM to hold more customers!

Took this screenshot a few minutes ago…

Here is why this matters for you.

A few of my entrepreneur friends have asked me how I did this and if I could “sell them my blueprint.”

But, if I analyze the incredible circumstances of the whole thing, I was uniquely positioned to win.

Not because of a formula or a strategy, but because of the energetics I was cultivating to align with the current times.

I have known for a while that we are in the Fire Era.

So I know that when someone posesses certain “period 9” qualities:

Visibility, fearlessness, passion and femininity to name a few (I explain this in depth in the class) they are much more likely to take off and get swept up in the new energy.

I also know that I have many “weaknesses” that is, personal traits that basically fight against this flow.

For example, I have a tendency to be slow and overthink whereas this energy that we are in right now requires and amplifies swift, fast action.

I also know that I don’t love being on social media anymore (hence being off IG for years) but I also knew that there is a unique combination of elements right now that thrive off visibility and being online (I also talk about this in the class).

Because I knew this, I’ve been preparing.

And you should too. Here is what I did.

You may want to steal this…

First, the practical, technical advice:

• I posted a very relevant topic to ride the momentum of the New Year, with a twist that no one has spoken about (to my knowledge). I wrote about the New Year from a numerological perspective and Chinese astrology based one at that, with my own cosmic interpretations.
  

• I didn’t have time to make new content so I picked a video that had performed well on my TikTok account, so it had a higher chance of succeeding.
  

• I posted using “trials” on IG. I wasn’t sure what that was, but I saw that it pushed the post to new audiences, so I just went for it!
  

• Finally, I gave people a very good reason to follow for more—so many people forget this, but I guarantee this gave me so many more followers.

The Energetic and psychological prep

I.

I’ve been preparing my nervous system and inner foundation to hold more chaos and speed.

When all the attention came, I did the practice that I teach my students which is noticing where I’m feeling disregulated and rather than contracting—expanding my inner energetic container instead.

If I hadn’t continuously done this, I would’ve freaked out.

Most people can’t hold the energy of the next level because their internal support structures fail.

They then self-sabotage, burnout and hide for months or simply do illogical things that would bring them back to baseline (rather than at their next expansion.)

The more I expanded my inner container, the more I was excited for new followers and new clients and…

II.

…this allowed me to ride off this momentum and create with speed.

I put up another post.

I decided to unearth and offer a discount to my Fire Era class that I had taught months earlier.

I created more posts and reels and stories to stoke the excitement and traffic.

I added a fun surprise for the new students.

By the way, this was all during a time when I have no childcare and was wrangling a 3 year old, an old dog, cooking, cleaning, meetings and errands.

Also, I had to google multiple times “how to post reels on IG” and “where do I upload photos” because my IG skills are soooo rusty.

Nothing was perfect.

But I knew fire would feed fire.

And here we are.

I just saw 5 more orders come in at 1:09am.

In the past I would’ve frozen.

I wouldn’t have pushed it.

I’d question if I deserved the attention or if I could sustain it.

I’d find ways to talk myself out of creating offerings and stoking the fire.

But the past is gone and the future is here.

And she burns bright 🔥

How you can implement for yourself

To celebrate, I bundled my hugely popular Fire Era Masterclass (there is a surprise waiting for you once you sign up btw).

+ with my second most popular: Abundance Container: Expand your capacity for an exquisite life.

Together, these are FIRE AND EXPANSION embodied. They form the igition and the foundation for YOUR Quantum Leap(s).

The first class will give you the blueprint for how to succeed beyond your previous expectations in the next year and beyond.

The second will show you how to hold more and more abundance in a way that is soothing and supportive for your energetic and nervous system—so you can multiply your success. Very important!!

Rather than $772, you pay only $47!

Yes, for real.
For both classes (and future updates!)

Here is the link to sign up

**Please note the discount for this bundle expires Wednesday, January 7th so if you want it, get it.**

Going to bed now hearing orders come through.

Cheers to your Fire Year and quantum leap, I believe in you!

Anna

P.S. If you’ve already purchased Fire Era and just want to grab Abundance Container, here is the link for that. (expires Jan 7th).

The nature of relationships is rapidly shifting, and I’m not sure how I feel about it.

To explain fifth-dimensional (5D) relationships, where we are headed, let’s look at where we have been, deep in the 3D.

3D relationships are what most of us know and grew up with. They can be immensely beneficial and gratifying. However, energetically, they are a tangled web of enmeshment, co-dependency, attachment issues, projections, and emotional warfare.

Oh, what fun.

3D relationships evolved from the biological need to survive.

This means that every individual, from the moment they are born, is indoctrinated into the social and cultural norms of their immediate family and tribe.

In order not die, we must belong.

If we stand out too much or deviate from the dominant vibe, we run the risk of literally being burned at the stake.

This reality lives in our epigenetic cellular memory.

3D relationships are rooted in survival at the cost of the individual.

How this plays out in our everyday lives is that, because we are so disconnected from our own internal resources, we need others to complete us.

And, rather than fixing our own inner traumas and unmet needs, we seek instead to fix our partner, control the lives of our children, or micromanage our employees.

Guilty?

Yes, we all are.

What I see a lot in my practice and also on social media is the burning, raging projection that others must exhibit very specific behaviors in order to be deemed worthy of someone’s/a group’s good graces.

For example, in a relationship, if your partner doesn’t go out of their way to make you feel good about yourself (by offering some arbitrary action that they probably don’t know is important to you), then they really don’t love you.

While it certainly does feel good when someone you love sacrifices a bit of their comfort and convenience to make your life easier, it’s actually not sustainable and can come at the cost of the giver.

We all have these unspoken expectations.

Culturally.

Socially.

Economically.

As long as people adhere to these expectations, everyone is ok.

Except, of course, if someone changes their mind.

This creates a transition (4D) into the 5D space.

5D relationships are rooted in sovereignty.

This means…each individual is in charge of managing their own internal emotional landscape.

And, rather than seeking validation or completion from others, they use the relationship with others to complete themselves.

See the nuance?

If someone came up to me and said that all immigrants should be deported.

I, an immigrant, would notice what emotional experience that brought up in me, and rather than judge that person for their views (3D), I may get curious and ask them why they think that way, or if it serves me better, I may simply ignore them and be thankful that I was offered an opportunity to find a deeper sense of inner peace with the topic.

If I felt like it, I might simply walk away, no explanation needed.

I wouldn’t need this person to change their views for me to feel better.

If they expressed vitriol, racism, or hatred. I would understand instantly that those are feelings they carry within themself and have nothing to do with me.

Gen Z has a great term for this: unbothered.

Unattached.

Unphazed.

It gets a little tricky, though, when it comes to personal relationships.

Let’s say your mom, someone who has given you so much, asks if you could do her a favor and give her brother, your uncle, a ride to the hospital.

You simply don’t want to. Not because you’re busy or can’t, but you really don’t want to sit in traffic and drive back and forth after a long week.

So, you don’t.

To be honest, as someone who grew up in a traditional, collectivist culture, it can feel cold, isolationist, and even selfish.

Social contracts are how families and communities have depended on each other for so long, but they are transforming.

Obligations no longer seem mandatory.

Family/social/organizational expectations are becoming more fluid as our current structures are falling apart.

This change is also written in the cosmos.

In Human Design, 2027 marks a significant transition from the collective Cross of Planning to the Cross of the Sleeping Phoenix.

This means that power is shifting from institutions to the individual.

The power that governments, religion, and organized belief systems have over how we think and act will gradually dissolve into individual empowerment.

Think of the phoenix awakening from the ashes, resplendent in her truth and sovereignty, and not influenced by the will or control of others.

And, this isn’t a specialized occurrence; it’s a global shift.

My guess is that many of you reading this have been feeling this transition in your life for a while now.

We live in an age where we can no longer afford to externalize our power to any outside force, so our only option is to fill our internal reserves.

Ironically, this is where I think society and the social contract will be saved: by the rise of the empowered individual who seeks participation in the world not due to the expectations of others but by their own volition and inner calling.

(Yet another written in bed series, no edits)

There are topics that haunt us, that keep us from sleeping well at night.

Tonight, for me, it’s not flying home to visit my family for the Holidays.

Well, on the surface that’s what seems to be the case. But if I were to look honestly at the part that bothers me so much that I can’t sleep—it’s because I see other people close to me easily make this decision.

Keyword: easily.

They don’t have to consider the cost.

They have the means and the time to do so.

They have easier relationships with their families and relatives.

They have children who are better at air travel than my kid.

So I think.

But these thoughts easily turn to…

They’ve made better life decisions than me.

They are more responsible and well-adjusted and had I been more consistent or worked harder I would be too.

They are a much better parent than I am.

I am such a fraud.

These are all thoughts that I know are not true, I hold them loosely, but they still hurt.

They stir within me old wounds that, although mostly healed, still poke holes at who I think I am.

They create doubt in my ability to be who I want to be.

Often times it’s not the immediate situation that causes us suffering—it’s the ghost of what we think we want, and the death of who we think we are.

It’s not the relationship ending, but the thought of what could’ve been.

It’s not that our job is a dead-end, but it’s the belief that we may never get a better one.

It’s not that we don’t get to take the vacation, rather it’s what did I do wrong to not have the life I want.

And so the spiral of suffering—from nothing—continues.

While it is incredibly helpful to examine the thoughts that cause us grief, that rob us of the precious moments we have here on earth, that in itself does not always end the pain.

As long as those ghosts of dead possibilities live in the recesses of our minds, we will forever be haunted.

And as a result, we live a shadow of a life.

Physically present, perhaps even smiling, but spiritually distant as our minds are in an alternate reality, mourning the dream that never was.

Or living an illusion that is not true.

As someone who has gone down more paths of healing than most, more out of desperation than anything, I can assure you there is no amount of therapy, mindfulness or energy work that can bring joy to a person who does not actively cultivate it.

Yet this is not a piece on woo-ing life, that comes later, rather it is the opposite: how to not hate life and oneself.

How to survive the level 4 splitting migraine without painkillers.

Well, here is the salve I can offer at the moment, more like a cocktail actually, with a surprise twist at the end.

1 part self-compassion for all those pieces of you that are mourning and suffering

2 parts breathing life into the present and seeing what is real, versus what is in our imagination

3 parts choosing yourself, choosing the life you have now, not running from it, and dedicating yourself to living it with both intensity and intention

I am reminded of our innate power, and our inner divinity, and how often we forget to direct our attention at ourselves.

Our presence alone is transformative.

Imagine having God’s full attention on you at a given moment.

How validating would that be?

How blissful?

How life-affirming?

You are God of your world.

Attend to it.

Feel every aspect of it.

Love the meat and bones and existential crises of your creation.

When you are present, truly, intentionally, powerfully present, the ghost no longer haunt you.

You’ve ceased to judge yourself against the false idol of perfection—because you realize the perfection of who you are and all that is.

The pain is not that of something lost, but of something gained.

Then the question instantly transforms from

How do I end my suffering?

to

What possibilities can I create?

Note from the author: what’s been causing needless suffering for you at the moment?

Share your thoughts in the comments and subscribe for more!

The battle of Presence and that of the Unconscious.

Winning the struggle over Presence means reclaiming one’s full capacity of being connected with all that is, rather than fighting against the forces that be.

Presence is the state where our higher mind, spirit, soul and physical form converge, not as dimensional beings disconnected from each other by disparate frequencies, but as parts of a whole thinking and acting in collaboration.

The Present moment has a special gift: the answer to everything you’ve always desired.

All that you’ve ever wished for—the solution is in this very moment.

And just how is that possible?

Well, that can only be unlocked by deeply answering one question:

How is everything you already have, everything that you need?

If you were to truly answer this, you would likely feel a sense of anger, maybe rage.

”I have thousands of dollars of debt! I don’t need that!”

“I am completely overwhelmed by all my responsibilities and I feel like I’m failing everyone all the time!”

“The world is falling apart and we are going into a recession, who needs that?”

Which may then subside to a slight feeling of helplessness, maybe even complacency.

This is good, this is the ego fighting for its reality, fighting because it’s identity has been questioned: the identity of someone who feels victimized by outside circumstances that feel much greater than them and out of control.

When the ego is thrashing and throwing pain and frustration at you and reminding you of all the times you failed and how unfair the world is.

Simply sit with it.

Be still with this suffering part of you.

This part that holds the keys to chaos.

But never mistake that the ego is you.

In fact, the more you observe your thoughts the more you realize how childish they are in nature.

They are the whiny echoes of a version of you that is so sick and tired of the responsibilities and just wants to be free and have fun.

Very valid, indeed.

And so, you sit in the simple breath of the moment, allowing the childish thoughts to kick and scream, to flow past your awareness without latching on to what they’re saying.

Better yet, if you find the capacity to do so, absolutely love that child. Just like a parent would soothe a scared little person who simply needs to feel the affirming force of presence.

Then, the more you sit with your breath and your heartbeat, you feel a different consciousness emerge.

There is a sense of peace that grows.

There is a a natural desire to surrender.

But not in a “Jesus take the wheel” manner where you are still supplicating to a dominant entity, rather it’s more subtle, grounded and omniscient.

It’s a knowing.

A knowing that everything will always work out.

A knowing that all and everyone will pass.

A knowing that there is an architecture and blueprint that supports you.

A knowing that you are eternal and this life is a blink of an eye.

A knowing that all these worries are small compared to who you are.

And, in the remembering, you feel less overwhelmed, less alone, less victimized.

Because now you are seeing life through truth and not fear.

And, in this perspective infinite opportunities and timelines open up to you that you couldn’t see before.

In this moment, you realize that you have and have always had everything that you need.

And, in fact, it’s not a thing or things at all.

It’s You.

You are who you truly desire.

Your knowing is the truth.

Welcome home.

For more content on the intersection of mindfulness, spirituality and real life leadership, subscribe for free!

in love, in life, and in business.

For many years, I mourned the death of creative projects that I never allowed to live.

And, sometimes, when I see that someone else has published a book, or launched a new offering similar to mine, or collaborated with an expert whose email I never returned…

…I wonder how much wealth I lost in the process.

In dollars,

in connections,

in creative explorations,

in making a difference versus sitting in hiding.

Each idea was a brick, an opportunity lost.

A foundation forgone.

At the moment, it didn’t feel like a big deal, and surely not all ideas are meant to be pursued.

But now, as I look back at years and years and years worth of notes and false-starts and abandoned drafts, I can’t help but feel

like I wasted so much time,

like I have nothing to show for all of the secret, hard toil and abandoned legwork.

And then I found it..

the subtle inner whisper that caused all of this creative collapse.

And do you want to know what this voice said to me, all these years that put my work at a standstill?

“You will burn out again.”

“You will burn out again if you take on this project.”

“You will burn out again if you try something new.”

'“You will burn out again if you collaborate with this person.”

Even reading these words brings a numb shiver to my body.

Because it comes from a core of trauma, and it is reinforced by my nervous system and my subconscious.

So, of course, I didn’t dare take risks!

So, of course, I was quietly hiding in the shadows!

So, of course, I did busy-work without truly going after my dreams!

My inner voice told me I would burn out, and I didn’t question her.

Because I didn’t know how.

Until now.

Since then, my bricks have been replenished, and I feel this lovely satisfaction of knowing that I’m creating at my full potential.

I’m taking a select group of people to build their bricks for the next 3 months. Join me.

Incubation.

Hibernation.

Burial.

Transformation.

So many ways that the darkness cradles us, subdues our boundless ambitions and gives depth and weight to our formless lightbody.

and because of the nature of shadow, she receives no admiration, no exaltation or gratitude, relegated to acknowledgement only during the neon blinks of the unconscious dream.

But truth be told we are more void than structure, more magic than pedestrian, and more infinity than sand.

Our subconscious creates over 90% of our reality yet why do we still cling to the minuscule thread of “reality” as defined by a false and fragmented identity.

Our true identity we cannot see and cannot comprehend.

It is the parts of us that our neurotic people pleasing sycophant (ego) shields us from because, to truly see ourselves and our wholeness would render us utterly exposed to a world that is blind to shadow and that is addicted to false light (consciousness).

And in this tug of war we can never be whole as we are fighting for our lives to maintain the very small identity we’ve created that must be uphold at all costs less we risk a reality collapse.

But what we don’t know is that the darkness is there to hold all the pieces when, inevitably, it all falls apart.

And then, only then, do we realize that we were the darkness all along and that the shattered chards of our old, constructed identity are but small flecks of light that give form to our infinite void.

In a world of change, one thing will always remain a constant: we always get what we want.

Well…

Our subconscious always creates what it is calibrated for…

and much—most of our reality is constructed by the unconscious mind.

Which, coincidentally, is where our shadows and wounding lives.

So, basically, much of our reality is created by our unconscious wounding???

Well…

Yeah.

Are you constantly surrounded by “idiots?”

You probably have some shadow desire to be the smartest person in the room.

Do you constantly go through financial/emotional rollercoasters?

Perhaps there is a pattern of instability that you’ve adopted as reality, versus optional.

Have you ever wondered why every time you get a big win, it gets taken away from you?

Did you internalize the notion that life is unfair thus your subconscious re-creates that validation?

Quick story…

I had this friend in college who I thought was incredibly beautiful, and it turns out, a lot of guys did too.

She was kind, smart, and funny, and could have her pick of any partner she desired.

She almost always chose losers.

Men who would belittle her and mistreat her. (Yes, I offered to slash some tires, but it turns out you need special equipment for that.)

To the rest of the world, this was baffling. To me, someone who knew about the abuse she suffered as a kid, this made a little bit more sense.

Her subconscious was primed for mistreatment, even though the conscious part of her just wanted to be in a loving relationship.

I share this story because so many of us are in this same metaphoric tug-of-war: our conscious selves want to be successful and happy and physically fit, but our subconscious is pre-programmed to keep us safe.

And if you did not grow up in an environment where being successful and happy and mentally and physically healthy was modeled to you, it likely doesn’t feel safe to your subconscious.

I’ll be addressing this and more in my workshop tomorrow. You’ll learn how to spot your own wounding, where it lives, and how to heal!

You can join using the link below and receive the replay if you can’t show up live.

🙌🏽 Last day to join donation-based energy healing workshop Nov 5th 🙌🏽

Note: you don’t pay me, just donate any amount to your local food bank/resource, and you’re in!

To sum it up…

If you aren’t getting the life that you want, simply ask what part of you is?

xoxo,

Anna

Halloween is officially over 😭

The cool thing about being an older parent to a young kid who isn’t allowed to eat candy is you can do shit like take him to your friend’s brewery for a Halloween Blues concert versus trick or treating and he wouldn’t know the difference.

So what if the lead singer of the band had to leave halfway through his show because he was scared he was going to have a heart attack so he drove himself to the ER (he took an aspirin hope he’s ok 🙏🏽.)

No worries if the food truck imploded and took 90 minutes to make our 2 hamburgers, which cost $31!! Their grill stopped working so your kid is gobbling down this nutritional powerhouse of raisins, one single cheese stick and butter popcorn—which you faintly remember being a choking hazard to young children but you can’t quite remember how young and he seems to be chewing this time so it should be ok.

It’s almost 2am and I find myself thinking about the lead singer of the band and how he said his dad played football for Texas and died of a heart attack around the age that he is now and how they wanted that gig for months and finally got it due to some last minute fluke—and he had to bail halfway.

I’m thinking about the sweet folks who own the burger food truck that had a huge dancing taco painted on it probably because it came that way and they didn’t feel the need to change it or they decided to do some sort of food service pivot and left their options open. I imagine they must’ve had a crazy night.

And I think about our friends who used their retirement savings to open one of the coolest, most well-done establishments with award-winning beer and stellar musical performances but the crowds are often a hit or miss and, despite the effort and incredible hard work, sometimes the customers run dry well before their award-winning beer.

And I think about all the people who lost supplemental food and nutrition in this country. The single mothers, elderly and disabled who, also despite all their hard work and service to their employers, their families, their country are left in the cold by their government but hopefully not abandoned by their neighbors.

🙌🏽 Join my donation-based energy healing workshop Nov 5th 🙌🏽

Right now, as much as life must suck for you, it sucks a lot more for someone else.

And I think in that lies a gift, an opening, an invitation where, when the burden is shared and met with grace, everybody gives and everyone gets something.

Where a family might get food for the week, someone who gives or volunteers gets to be of value during a time where so much of what we do feels futile.

While it is easy to fall into the narrative that everything is descending into chaos and the world is more divided than ever I can see the greater cosmic purpose unraveling.

I see unifying events and a time that NECESSITATES people getting over their petty differences in order to achieve the basics: survive.

In a weird way, all our prayers are being answered we are being shown who we REALLY are. We are forced to forge the latent greatness that was previously not asked of us.

The droning mask of compliance is ripped off. You can’t hide behind your 9-5 anymore, there are no jobs left.

You can’t hide in how you used to do things in your business anymore, everything is changing at light speed.

We can’t pretend to be successful or privileged or untouchable anymore because we are all going through the unpredictable emotional rollercoaster of collapse.

I see this very clearly that life is giving us the reins to rebuild but it will knock us down time and time and time again—each time forging a stronger mettle.

Every fall calls more of our determination, grit, and courage to the surface of our soft, pliant bodies.

We did not ask for the war (of transformation), we wanted comfort, repose and dignity.

But the war was brought to us and we have no choice but to answer the call. Unlike before, there is no place to hide and, wherever we are in our lives, there is a strength that lives within us that is waiting to rise.

If you follow the call, you will access levels of power that may scare you, or at least, thrill you to death.

If you like this vibe, hang out with me and fuel this optimism you know what to do…

👉🏽 Join my donation-based energy healing workshop Nov 5th 🙌🏽

Xoxo and goodnight!

A

✨🙌 Join my donation-based energy healing workshop to support local food banks (November 5, 2025) 🙌✨

Pluto stationed direct in Aquarius on October 13, 2025, and will remain in Aquarius until 2043.

You’ve probably noticed a bit of political upheaval intensifying recently? Hmmmm?

Maybe you’ve been doomscrolling more than usual to stave off a chronic sense of impending doom?

Have you uttered the words “I’ve completely lost faith in our democracy” sometime in the last week/every day?

Well, let’s talk about it and how to survive it.

Even if you aren’t into astrology, there is a pattern that happens during this cosmic signature.

Let’s look at historic precedents, shall we?

Well, the last time this occurred, there was quite some commotion…

the American Revoluion

the French Revolution

the Haitian Revolution and

the Industrial Revolution

A hallmark of Pluto in Aquarius is…revolution.

Major shifts in power as old, outdated hierarchies are dismantled to make room for a more collective, collaborative, and inclusive society.

Typically, there are huge gaps in the social fabric where the “haves” hold an inordinate amount of wealth versus the majority of the population.

During the French Revolution (you know, “let them eat cake”), the nobles were throwing opulent fetes while the common people barely had bread to eat (hello SNAP cutoff for over 41 million Americans).

Similarly, in the new colonies known as British America, citizens were being taxed to death to pay for Great Britain’s wars, but had no say on how the new colony was being governed in Parliament, literally no representation (hello government shutdown and political gerrymandering, anyone?)

Pluto is the god of the underworld. He literally represents death and rebirth.

More interestingly, to me at least, Pluto represents the uncovering of hidden truths.

America (and the world) is literally being confronted by its shadow, the dark, divey, shameful parts of us that need to be reconciled for a better world to be rebuilt.

We can no longer hide behind “the American dream” because we are being shown how our economy is built on the exploitation of others, not just marginalized groups, but everyday people.

Aquarius represents intellect, innovation, independent thinking, and humanitarianism.

It also brings about huge paradigm shifts and what some would call a collective awakening.

This is why your dreams are so vivid and you’re suddenly drawn to crystals.

Imagine…

One evening, you go to bed believing the Earth is 6,000 years old, only to wake up to the glow of alien motherships in the sky.

Yeah.

Whoa.

Mindblown.

We are all having big, eye-opening experiences that make us question the nature of existence, democracy, freedom, spirituality, etc.

Everything that you thought was true will be turned on its head.

The government shutdown is very apt for this time because when it reconvenes, if it ever does—it will not be the same.

We are not the same.

We are forever changed.

And, I would argue, we are getting more and more united as a country. Not in the sense of political ideologies, but in the understanding that, in order to survive the constant onslaught of change and upheaval, we need each other.

We need community.

We need a path out of isolation and into mutual support.

On some deep, fundamental level, we know that we cannot survive this without each other.

I’m hosting a virtual “fundraiser” for local food banks on November 5th. Please click the link below to learn more. If you like energy healing and you like people having food on their table, you don’t want to miss this…

✨🙌 Join my donation-based energy healing workshop to support local food banks (November 5, 2025) 🙌✨

What do you think the future holds?

xoxo,

Anna

I think there is a point in many people’s lives when they realize that they have developed a sense of the world and themselves that their innermost parts do not share.

I have been coming to a head with those parts.

While most of my conscious mind believes that I exist safely in the world and that it is overall a place of wonder and infinite creative opportunity, even given the current geo-political end of times, there are still parts of my inner child that are clawing at survival.

These parts were formed at a time when authority figures were very unstable and safety both at home and outside were tenuous at best, fleeting.

She felt very “abandonable” and developed a coping method of pushing aside her own needs in order to feel like she belonged somewhere.

Probably why I woke up so suddenly is because I encountered a version of her in my dream.

I was walking along the busy streets and somehow got swept up in a group of trendy twenty-something’s who were waiting for the popular girl to show up. When she did, the three girls in the group were fawning over her and her new boyfriend who of course wanted to impress us and took us for a ride in his new car. Apparently it was a big deal, he was some sort of rich kid and the car was so massive that there were two small boats in the back seat.

Like, the nice hand built ones you see speeding along Lake Como.

I found myself in the car, nestled between two expensive looking boats covered in a green cloth and suddenly saw my elementary school bestie (who is now a big shot in the medical industry) and for some reason I was trying desperately to impress, well, everyone.

I was telling all the funny jokes trying to break the ice sitting in that ridiculous vehicle that I pretended was the coolest thing in the world.

Deep down trying to hide my own feelings of unworthiness, how did I get to be with all these insanely cool people, they will see right through me. Also somehow I knew I was supposed to be impressed by everyone’s accomplishments and with the great wealth this guy had but honestly I just wanted to get out of there.

But I stayed.

And I laughed at their silly, awful, not even funny jokes. I even suggested great scenic routes to take. Everyone approved and I felt like I earned a spot in this friend group that I wasn’t really apart of, on this roadtrip that I wanted nothing to do with.

I hated the feelings that came up.

It felt like a familiar a cocktail of self-sacrifice and regret.

I believe dreams help us process looping emotions and parts of our shadow that needs to come to the surface to be witnessed.

I am wondering how many years I wasted in this liminal space of people-pleasing at the cost of not only my happiness but also authentic relationships, or in this case, relationships that maybe shouldn’t have existed in the first place.

One thing is for sure: the cost of allowing this unconscious part of me to fester in my “later years” is too great and tonight I am making a commitment to really see and acknowledge her and give her the safety and validation she never had.

Oh god, I cannot imagine another 40 years of this self-effacing supplication! I would be so miserable!!

What about you?

What parts of you are fighting to be seen?