Today is the last day of the experiment.

I don’t believe in believing in the universe.

Either it’s so vast that our little wishes just get washed away by a sea of stars,

or it’s so focused on us that it’s creepy.

But I do kinda think the universe throws you a curveball sometimes.

Today was group therapy.

Almost always my worst day for productivity.

Normally, I try to work after it, but I almost always fall asleep during one of the breaks.

Today, I slept right after group therapy.

Not a nap.

Straight-up 3 hours of Zzzzs.

And when I woke up, it was already 7 PM.

The ending time was supposed to be 8 PM.

There was a twinge of feeling bad about it.

Was I really going to fail on my last day?

But then I thought:

I’ll just do what I do every day.

Work until I don’t want to work anymore.

Tuesday is simply the day I work late.

Just like a tree that doesn’t force itself.

The Universe Going My Way

The first thing I found on my doorstep after waking up was my weed delivery.

You know, I always feel like I have to justify it.

After 10 years of not being able to keep any routine going for longer than 2 days, cannabis and my ADHD medication together are what finally allowed me to start turning my life around.

Start working on my dream.

Next, my mom had left me some cut-up watermelon.

Then I took my dog for a walk, rolled-up joint in hand.

A beautiful sunset shining through the bushes.

My dog happily wagging his tail.

I arrived home to find my internet dead.

Almost laughable, you know.

Tried to fix it.

Didn’t work anyway.

I am writing this blog in my Word file like a deranged apocalypse survivor.

If you can read this, the internet has been restored!

Right after that, I was attacked by the largest mosquito I have ever seen.

I was wearing headphones, and it literally kicked against them from the outside.

It was a reminder that today is a normal day.

And honestly, that’s great.

Feels like the universe going my way.

Workout

Starting Time: 7:48 PM

It’s so funny how I always doubt myself whenever the routine falters.

When weed is missing.

When I wake up late.

But then I look back.

I haven’t missed a single day, have I?

Could a depressed person do that?

It’s funny that already said something like this on my first post.

Yeah, I got no internet.

But I remember.

Taps forehead.

Genuinely, the day is so normal that I even have the anxiety in my chest.

But that has never stopped me, has it?

I have 21 days of proof now.

And after this day, I will stop asking myself if I can be productive.

I’ll know.

Nowwwww.

It do be late.

I don’t know when I should go to sleep.

Normally, 8 PM is where I should stop.

But I really wouldn’t want to let the day pass without working.

So what’s the plan?

I know.

I’ll just start with Set 1.

See where it goes.

Set 1 - Starting Time: 7:48 PM

• 00:00 - Oh. I forgot to start the timer before working on the blog.

• 12:43 - Did note the starting time, though.

• 14:54 - Off to work on Chapter 58, The Adventure Goes On.

• 48:23 - And suddenly we are over half an hour deep.

  • You know, since I can work as long as I want, I’ll make sure to take a break at least every hour.

• 56:33 - Break. Shop is about to close. Getting cornflakes.

Review 1

Effective Work Time: 53 minutes / 56 minutes = 95%

• Good set.

• Felt comfortable being back in the complete routine.

• The internet not working is starting to become actually annoying.

• There is still a lot of energy left in me.

Break 1 - Start: 8:40 PM

Break Time: 1 hour 32 minutes

• Handling some chores.

• Needed to ride my bike to my brother.

• Then tried to fix the internet.

• Today might be really bad productivity-wise.

• A friend called right after, and I do kinda have a need for social interaction right now.

• But that’s kind of alright.

• By now, I have more 3-hour days than 1-hour days.

• For a Tuesday, I have already done a good amount of work, and even mediocre Sets 2 and 3 would still be an improvement.

• I have proof of all that.

• I don’t need Tuesday to go great.

• Tuesdays never go great.

• And because of that, it is going pretty well.

Set 2 - Starting Time: 10:12 PM

• 00:00 - Working on the blog, then straight to the book.

• 02:48 - I should charge my laptop so I can work using the house Wi-Fi. For some reason, only the cable connection is down.

• 29:50 - Look at me, deep into work.

• 55:45 - Split the chapter into two:

  • Chapter 58 - The Adventure Goes On

  • Chapter 59 - An Easy Win

• 1:07:34 - Updating the blog.

• 1:14:33 - Break.

Review 2

Effective Work Time: 58 minutes / 1 hour 14 minutes = 78%

• The set went pretty well until I got called.

• Kinda need to hand the chapter in for editing now, so I am switching to the laptop.

• The third set will be editing and blog cleanup.

• At this point, it really is just a normal day.

Break 2 - Start: 11:29 PM

Break Time: 1 hour 16 minutes

• Spent it gaming and on a phone call.

• Breaks are super long.

• Maybe because I am so exhausted.

• Maybe because I am so confident that I’ll come back to my set.

Set 3 - Starting Time: 12:45 AM

• 43:49 - Sooo. Almost 45 minutes.

  • I realized I had not started the timer correctly.

  • Gonna be honest, weed is pretty intense if you haven’t smoked for a while, and I do feel more scattered.

  • On the plus side, I just finished Chapters 58 and 59.

  • Actually, I still need to do the formatting.

• 1:06:11 - Finished Chapters 58 and 59. 9 pages.

  • Chapter numbers might be inconsistent. Need to fix them during the last pass.

  • Editing the blog.

• 1:08:31 - Turning on YouTube.

• 1:52:07 - DONE.

Review 3

Effective Work Time: 1 hour 40 minutes / 1 hour 52 minutes = 89%

• Honestly, this set got close to the edge.

• I wanted to finish both chapters.

• But the blog afterward became quite heavy.

• Luckily, I have all the formatting and templates already in place.

• I am incredibly happy with the work today.

• This kind of pace would be incredible.

• But I didn’t plan it.

• I just played the day out.

Summary - 01.09.2026

Set 1: 53 minutes / 56 minutes = 95%

• Break 1: 1 hour 32 minutes

Set 2: 58 minutes / 1 hour 14 minutes = 78%

• Break 2: 1 hour 16 minutes

Set 3: 1 hour 40 minutes / 1 hour 52 minutes = 89%

Total Effective Work Time: 3 hours 31 minutes

Total Set Time: 4 hours 2 minutes

Average Work Time: 1 hour 10 minutes

Average Set Time: 1 hour 21 minutes

Average Set Efficiency: 87%

Total Break Time: 2 hours 48 minutes

Average Break Time: 1 hour 24 minutes

Page Progress: 9 pages

Book Progress: 1.3%

Closing Words

Finally, it’s done.

I think I am done with daily blogs too.

There are articles I want to write.

Actually, one of them is the conclusion and all the data I got from this self-experiment.

Now I know that I keep returning.

The goal had been to create a habit.

Instead, I changed my whole approach.

All the discipline, whipping, and pressure have simply become:

Do Set 1 and see what happens.

5 Things That Made Me Happy Today

1. Got a huge amount of pages done.

2. Pulled off 21 days of the self-experiment.

3. Got my weed delivery.

4. Great sleep.

5. Great fucking day to finish it off.

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When can I say I am a productive, functioning person?

For the last few days, I haven’t had cannabis, which is a major part of how I regulate my attention.

It became harder and harder to keep my routine.

I tried a synthetic indica vape, and that one made me lie in bed all day.

It was hard to gather a single non-negative thought.

Today, I said fuck it and went to buy another one.

They are like 40 bucks each.

This synthetic sativa vape makes me euphoric and motivated.

It finally allowed me to work again.

And now I ask myself:

Was Alexander born special?

Or was Alexander willing to do everything to be special?

Workout

Starting Time: 7:20 PM

• Today’s biggest challenge was starting work. I didn’t know the one vape was sedating me.

• I only realized it after getting the other one.

• It then took another 2 hours of playing random games before I could push myself to work.

• I immediately enjoyed it.

• But it’s like having a tiger on a leash instead of a dog.

Set 1 - Starting Time: 7:24 PM

• 00:00 - Forcing myself to open the manuscript and simply read. I realized that whatever I was doing, I was getting sucked into it. I just needed to dip my feet into the right activity.

• 07:35 - Working on the chapter. It’s so late already. I might just go until I have to go to the gym. Not because I need to for any productivity reasons.

  • I would just love to work on the next chapters.

• 13:34 - Starting the blog so I can make notes while working.

  • Anxiety is high. But I realized that the vape that makes me euphoric also gives me that anxious feeling.

  • I am trying to remind myself that it’s not connected to the task.

• 47:40 - Rewrote Chapter 56. Considering the order.

• 1:02:10 - Whoa. I worked for a long time. It felt like nothing.

  • Handing in the chapter for editing notes.

  • Got distracted by a mosquito.

  • Updating the blog, then break. Need to end on time today so I can still go to the gym.

• 1:10:45 - Break.

Review 1

Effective Work Time: 1 hour 3 minutes / 1 hour 11 minutes = 89%

• The set went really well. I am kind of sad it took so long to start, but how can I change the past?

• I am happy with what I am getting done.

• I don’t really feel exhausted either.

• Probably because I lay in bed a lot today, and the vape is also keeping me energized.

• But breaks are better taken before they are desperately needed.

Break 1 - Start: 8:34 PM

Break Time: 40 minutes

• Spent it playing games.

• Maybe a bit too long.

• I can work on the book for about 30 more minutes before I gotta go to the gym.

Set 2 - Starting Time: 9:14 PM

• 00:00 - Updating the blog.

• 10:44 - The mix of the sedating and euphoric vapes seems to balance itself out.

• 22:31 - Finished the chapter. 3 pages total today. Taking care of the blog.

  • Sigh. Again, only two sets.

  • Whatever.

  • It’s still training.

• 43:10 - Finished the blog.

Review 2

Effective Work Time: 43 minutes / 43 minutes = 100%

• I needed to rush through this set.

• But I am quite happy I still got a chapter done.

• Although I am sad that the day is over.

• The next time this problem comes up, I’ll have a memory of myself overcoming it.

Summary - 31.08.2026

Set 1: 1 hour 3 minutes / 1 hour 11 minutes = 89%

• Break 1: 40 minutes

Set 2: 43 minutes / 43 minutes = 100%

Total Effective Work Time: 1 hour 46 minutes

Total Set Time: 1 hour 54 minutes

Average Work Time: 53 minutes

Average Set Time: 57 minutes

Average Set Efficiency: 95%

Overall Efficiency: 93%

Total Break Time: 40 minutes

Average Break Time: 40 minutes

Page Progress: 3 pages

Book Progress: 0.4%

Closing Words

You know, my family is often impressed by my ability to lose weight long-term.

It seems disciplined from the outside, but it’s the exact opposite.

I don’t expect myself to be disciplined all the time. I just make sure that when I’m not, I limit the damage.

It’s like collapsing part of the tunnel so it doesn’t drag down the rest of the mountain.

Today was the same in regard to productivity.

I needed to show up today so that showing up tomorrow won’t be harder than it needs to be.

Tomorrow will be the last day.

I wish it wasn’t a therapy day so I could show what I can do.

But then again, the 20 days show more than one day needs to.

5 Things That Made Me Happy Today

1. Finding a vape that allowed me to be productive.

2. Working until the last minute out of passion.

3. Good chapter work.

4. Kept the routine alive.

5. Didn’t give up.

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Sometimes I wonder if I am being hypocritical by giving out life advice at all.

It feels like the only time I work is when my medication is in order.

It hasn’t been for the last 3 days.

My emotions are bungee jumping.

The ground comes so close.

And I wish the rope would just rip.

I know the feelings are temporary.

But I am feeling them right now.

I just need to get through the days until the good ones come back.

I wonder if this is Hercules’ last test.

If there were no dragons, hydras, or lions to slay, then what would a hero be worth?

Workout

Starting Time: 4:30 PM

• There is no motivation for me to start.

• I was awake early and went back to bed.

• The only thing keeping me in line is that I don’t know what a day without the routine would look like anymore.

• Maybe there is something heroic about it.

• Maybe not.

• I wonder, when the miner swings his pickaxe, does he congratulate himself by imagining himself somewhere else?

• Or maybe he is simply there, in the moment, hitting the rock himself.

• And when he lifts that pickaxe again, I wonder if he is surprised by the next clank.

Set 1 - Starting Time: 4:35 PM

• 00:00 - Setting up the blog. Then immediately got distracted by writing notes on Substack.

• 13:35 - Sigh. Whatever. I’ll just lift the pickaxe again.

• 55:51 - Handing in Chapter 55 for editing notes. Made me cry writing it.

• 1:17:34 - Updated the blog. Break.

Review 1

Effective Work Time: 58 minutes / 1 hour 17 minutes = 75%

• I was kind of afraid to work on that chapter because it was such an emotional one.

• But at the same time, I was super depressed today anyway, which actually came in useful while working on a chapter like this.

• It also felt good to cry.

• Had to take a break because a shop I wanted to go to was about to close.

Break 1 - Start: 5:53 PM

Break Time: 16 minutes

• Felt way too emotional while writing.

• Went to buy a synthetic weed vape.

• They offered me a pretty strong one.

• Took one pull, and most of the feelings were numbed.

• Sometimes I wonder if life is more intense for me than it is for most people.

• Then that question becomes kind of pointless.

• I am working to become an author while running a blog, losing weight, going to the gym, working on my mental health, while...

• I am just trying to say:

• I am doing a lot.

Set 2 - Starting Time: 6:09 PM

• 00:00 - Handing in the chapter for editing notes.

• 34:44 - Working on the chapter. Spending too much time on nitpicky things.

• 56:34 - Finished Chapter 55. 3 pages.

  • Getting distracted by Discord messages.

  • Immediately starting the next chapter so it won’t be as hard to start next time.

• 1:07:57 - Updating the blog.

• 1:42:24 - I should take a break. Handing in the chapter for editing notes, then either taking care of the blog or taking a break.

• 1:53:34 - Finished Chapter 56. 2 pages.

• 2:00:23 - Turning on YouTube.

• 2:04:11 - Watching YouTube Shorts.

  • Discord made my system start accepting distractions.

  • I am finishing the blog now, and then I am done for the day.

• 2:30:45 - Handing in the blog for editing. Fucked up the numbers.

• 2:55:11 - Finished the blog.

Review 2

Effective Work Time: 2 hours 10 minutes / 2 hours 55 minutes = 74%

• This might be the most distracted set I’ve had in two weeks.

• I think the reason might be that I don’t have weed, so certain urges are popping up to compensate for the missing stimulation.

• I obviously don’t know that for sure.

• It’s just a feeling because I have been craving drinks, wanting to go to the club, etc.

• But the set itself went alright.

• I finished another short chapter and was surprised by the number of pages.

• Even while distracted, I’ve become more efficient.

Summary - 29.08.2026

Set 1: 58 minutes / 1 hour 17 minutes = 75%

• Break 1: 16 minutes

Set 2: 2 hours 10 minutes / 2 hours 55 minutes = 74%

Total Effective Work Time: 3 hours 8 minutes

Total Set Time: 4 hours 12 minutes

Average Work Time: 1 hour 34 minutes

Average Set Time: 2 hours 6 minutes

Average Set Efficiency: 75%

Overall Efficiency: 75%

Total Break Time: 16 minutes

Average Break Time: 16 minutes

Page Progress: 5 pages

Book Progress: 0.7%

Closing Words

I really need to take breaks and start third sets.

Sometimes I am already in the work, and it feels more comfortable not to stop.

But when I let one set run this long, I never get into that trance-like absorption that makes me enjoy the work.

I felt that today.

Luckily, smoking that vape seemed to interrupt the depression spiral for a while, until I got some weed again.

I am realizing more and more how much time I am actually spending writing.

Doing 10 pages wasn’t that hard back then, and now the sentences even have more space between them.

But what can I do?

I am just working at the pace I work.

The only way to get faster is to keep training.

Anyway, despite having spent almost 3 hours in one set, I am somehow still fine.

But I do want this to end.

Hopefully, there will be people at the club.

I think one of the biggest problems with not having weed isn’t the drug itself, but how much it changes such a big part of my routine.

5 Things That Made Me Happy Today

1. Created two good chapters.

2. Got through the emotions.

3. The vape helped.

4. Didn’t break my diet.

5. Weight finally dropped below 91 kg.

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My social worker texted me today at 8 AM:

“Is our appointment around 11 AM still on?”

She was surprised when I immediately answered:

“Can we do it earlier?”

I am rediscovering the things I enjoy, and while that happens, I tend to just go to sleep if I have nothing to do.

I think yesterday felt so bad because a lot of things were weighing on my mind.

But today, a lot of those things cleared up.

Although the morning was still quite tiresome. Talking to my social worker, or talking in general, exhausts me tremendously.

I realized it’s because of all the pressure I am putting on myself.

Which brings us back to our experiment.

Workout

Starting Time: 5:49 PM

• You may wonder why I am starting so late.

• After the appointment, I ate something nice and lay down for a long nap.

• Yesterday was already stressful. And this morning, I broke things off with Ellen, which was also emotionally exhausting.

• When I woke up, I thought:

• “Damn, I ain’t got much time left in the day.”

• For the first time, my normal set times are so long that I can’t just fit them all in.

• But then again.

• Who cares.

• I use the time I’ve got.

• Record the results.

• Nothing changed.

• There are no standards, only progression.

• I also got an e-shisha. I am hoping the breathing and the walk will replicate some of the ritual of smoking a joint. Obviously not the high. For that, I am smoking the black residue scraped out of my pipe.

• Which really can’t be healthy...

• Anyway. I was going to die someday anyway.

Set 1 - Starting Time: 5:49 PM

• 00:00 - Setting up the blog. Answering comments because I am in a good mood.

• 05:35 - Wow, already the first 5 minutes are gone.

  • Back to work.

  • The breathing with the e-shisha might have actually calmed me. Also, I am somewhat relieved that today isn’t a long day of work.

• 13:19 - Discord message. Told them I’ll answer during the break.

• 22:16 - Wow, already?

  • I am highly motivated and focused.

  • Maybe just make today a good experience for my body.

  • Short sets. Good breaks. Focused work.

• 27:14 - Got up to check on my dog. Expected a pang of anxiety, but it didn’t come.

• 39:27 - About to hand in Chapter 54 for editing notes, but then realized the timer was still going. Taking a break to preserve energy.

  • Updating the blog.

• 44:34 - Updated the blog. Break.

Review 1

Effective Work Time: 45 minutes / 45 minutes = 100%

• I am realizing two things.

1. How I feel about the set is more determined by my state than by the actual work being done. I just read over the chapter and adjusted a few lines, and yet I feel almost giddy.

2. I need to read over chapters I worked on the day before again. Looking at the same chapter for an entire session sometimes makes me blind to obvious things.

• Overall, great set.

• Wondering whether writing the notes directly into the blog is as effective for my brain as writing them down as actual notes with a pen.

Break 1 - Start: 6:34 PM

Break Time: 48 minutes

• Okay, something about my state is completely different today.

• I am having way more fun doing everything.

• I don’t know if it’s the late ADHD medication. Maybe I am taking the doses too close together in the morning.

• Maybe it’s weed withdrawal. It’s the third day?

• Maybe it’s simply a good day.

• I can just watch and see how tomorrow goes.

• At the same time, I played video games during the break, and it was hard to stop until I got a win.

• Answered the Discord message too.

• Got about enough time for 1 more set.

• Probably need to work past 8 PM.

Set 2 - Starting Time: 7:22 PM

• 00:00 - Blog update.

• 01:23 - Back to book work. Handing in Chapter 54 for editing notes.

• 23:54 - Almost half an hour already. Making the last changes to finish Chapter 54.

• 44:01 - Finished Chapter 54. Updating the blog.

  • Not going to do a third set.

  • I could.

  • But it’s a good time to stop.

• 50:05 - Admin stuff on Substack.

• 52:45 - Turning YouTube on. Relaxing.

• 1:20:11 - Finished the admin stuff.

• 1:50:43 - Done with the blog.

Review 2

Effective Work Time: 1 hour 30 minutes / 1 hour 51 minutes = 81%

• Time is already up.

• The day was really good.

• Not because productivity was off the charts.

• But because I offered my body another good experience with work.

• Stopping while I still want to keep going.

• Anxiety was exceptionally low today.

• Spent some time during the set answering messages and checking on an order.

• But the chapter was already finished.

• Guess that was a mini-break.

Summary - 28.08.2026

Set 1: 45 minutes / 45 minutes = 100%

• Break 1: 48 minutes

Set 2: 1 hour 30 minutes / 1 hour 51 minutes = 81%

Total Effective Work Time: 2 hours 15 minutes

Total Set Time: 2 hours 36 minutes

Average Work Time: 1 hour 8 minutes

Average Set Time: 1 hour 18 minutes

Average Set Efficiency: 91%

Overall Efficiency: 87%

Total Break Time: 48 minutes

Average Break Time: 48 minutes

Page Progress: 7 pages

Book Progress: 1.0%

Closing Words

Could have done a third set.

But honestly, a lot of the second set was relaxed work while watching YouTube.

Next, I am going to the gym.

The day turned out great, and I am happy with my work.

Recently, I’ve constantly been thinking about Sisyphus.

I can’t help but imagine him happy.

5 Things That Made Me Happy Today

1. Getting my social payment.

2. Talking to my social worker.

3. Eating butter chicken.

4. Enjoying work.

5. Smoking shisha during a walk in the sun.

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Woke up around 10 AM.

Just a few weeks ago, I was waking up around 5 PM.

But now that work doesn’t pain me as much anymore, there is no reason to drag out going to sleep.

I have 4 to 5 hours of free time after 8 PM.

Yet I can find little to do.

And when I woke up, the first thought I had was:

“I want to keep working on the book.”

You can observe the same thing with people who go regularly to the gym.

Suddenly, they don’t have to convince themselves to go anymore.

Actually, not going starts bothering them.

The reason is progress.

Humans love seeing things accumulate, grow, and improve.

But a lot of people are denied that pleasure.

Their work is so disconnected from the result that it becomes an endless wheel.

Numbers and data allow me to see that progress again.

Even though the book is not finished, I feel a sense of accomplishment simply through the act of improving with my work.

Workout

Starting Time: 12:30 PM

• I am worried about how much of the day I am going to spend working in the future.

• Anxiety bubbles up at the thought of 10-hour days.

• But that is not what I have learned through this experiment.

• Right now, I feel motivated to work.

• Tomorrow, I might be happy that work starts at 2 PM.

• No single data point makes a trend.

• I just work and observe.

• When I start doesn’t decide when I stop either.

• I might do 3 sets of 10 minutes if I feel like it.

• I want absolute freedom in my work, surrounded by a routine.

Set 1 - Starting Time: 12:40 PM

• 00:00 - Anxiety while working on the blog. Setting it up so I can update it at the end of the sets without needing much time.

  • Working on the blog in its own set at the end, with YouTube videos in the background, almost feels like a reward.

• 13:08 - Finished setting up the blog for today.

  • Setting a goal so I won’t feel like I did yesterday.

  • The next chapter is 7 pages long. I can’t say for sure that I can finish it, but I am sure I can rework at least half of it.

  • Now let’s see if that goal was chosen wisely or overconfidently.

• 17:21 - Skimming the chapter. Forgot to brush my teeth.

  • Do it now?

  • No.

  • Break.

• 19:29 - Working calms me.

• 30:41 - Time is going by way too fast.

• 44:49 - Unsure about the chapter choreography. Anxiety rising. Avoidance rising.

• 1:20:33 - Think I found the chapter direction.

• 1:28:07 - Forgot about the break. Updating the blog now. Feel anxiety rising when I stop working on the book.

• 1:29:49 - Checking my phone. Asked Ellen for a date 2 hours ago. No answer yet.

• 1:35:23 - Break.

Review 1

Effective Work Time: 1 hour 35 minutes / 1 hour 35 minutes = 100%

• I feel so much anxiety today. I don’t know why.

• The set went phenomenally.

• I am still slightly unsure about the chapter, but I can iron it out or push it to a later date.

• I want to take care of some chores during the break, so it will probably be at least half an hour.

• Why is there so much anxiety in my chest?

• Crazy. It’s barely 2:19 PM.

• And seeing the time reduced my anxiety for some reason?

• I still have so much time in which I can work.

Break 1 - Start: 2:20 PM

Break Time: 1 hour 15 minutes

• Was afraid that it would be difficult to return to work after a long break and chores.

• But I came home, sat in front of my window, smoked, and returned to my PC.

• How natural this has become.

• Of course the rain that falls from the sky would splash onto the ground.

• Keep checking my phone to see if Ellen texted back. She sometimes takes days. I don’t need to worry about it until new information comes in.

• What if it never comes?

• Then that is information too.

• Trying an HHC vape in the absence of weed.

• A semi-synthetic cannabinoid, basically.

Set 2 - Starting Time: 3:35 PM

• 00:00 - Blog.

• 02:50 - Back to book work.

• 10:09 - Kinda want a break.

  • Maybe I am more tired because of the HHC, the weather, or even the time already spent working.

  • Check phone?

  • No.

  • Avoidance impulse.

  • Warm weather also makes it feel like anxiety. Turning on the AC.

• 26:16 - Time passed instantly. Paused to drink my shake. Want to check my phone.

• 47:06 - Close to the goal for the day. Afraid the chapter turned out badly.

• 57:09 - Avoidance spike. Want to rest. Maybe take a nap during the break.

  • Want to check my phone, but I put it out of reach the last time I wanted to check.

  • Clever me.

• 1:00:09 - Handed the chapter in for editing notes. The chapter turned out well but is structurally annoyingly long.

  • Doesn’t matter. Reached the goal!

  • That was 2,200 words in about 2 and a half hours.

  • Celebrating myself.

  • I did fucking great.

• 1:10:24 - Overwhelmed by the editing notes. Updating the blog, then break.

Review 2

Effective Work Time: 1 hour 10 minutes / 1 hour 10 minutes = 100%

• I sometimes feel like starting early in the day makes the day move slower.

• It’s barely 4:45 PM, and I basically just wrote what would be a full day’s worth of words for a lot of authors.

• But the chapter is way too large because it was based on the unedited one.

• Now it is hard to split into two.

• But that is something I need to worry about in the next set. Not now.

• I also feel really tired, so I am lying down.

• What is also weird is that starting the timer has made it much easier to keep my focus.

• I almost never drop below 90% efficiency anymore unless I am exceptionally tired.

Break 2 - Start: 4:45 PM

Break Time: 1 hour 35 minutes

• Anxiety is not going away.

• I don’t know if it’s because Ellen hasn’t texted back, I have no weed, or the chapter was demanding.

• In any case, it’s not going away.

• I couldn’t sleep either and desperately wanted to masturbate or scroll Instagram.

• Instead, I watched a video from a content creator I like.

• Fuck the anxiety.

• It wants to stay?

• Stay.

• Watch your useless ass do nothing.

• I know something inside me is boiling, but I can’t deal with this day anymore.

• I am taking care of the blog and then somehow getting the day over with.

Set 3 - Starting Time: 6:20 PM

• 00:00 - Updating the blog.

• 03:31 - Notice that working distracts me from the anxiety.

  • I just want to scream.

  • Whatever. I am working on the chapter.

  • At least the day will pass faster that way.

• 18:47 - Holy fucking shit, how did 15 minutes pass?

  • Anxiety vanishes during work.

  • Comes back when I update the blog.

  • Split Chapter 53 into Chapters 53 and 54.

• 37:56 - I don’t want work to end. I don’t want to deal with life.

• 45:46 - Finished Chapter 53. 5 pages.

• 46:23 - Taking care of the blog.

• 48:51 - Insulting ChatGPT.

• 55:32 - Turning on YouTube.

• 1:04:11 - Insulting ChatGPT.

• 1:10:42 - Internet stops working. About to punch my monitor.

• 1:30:44 - Finished the blog.

Review 3

Effective Work Time: 1 hour 31 minutes / 1 hour 31 minutes = 100%

• Honestly, I just feel depressed as hell.

• Right now, the only thing that feels good is work.

• But I also don’t want to work anymore right now.

• Tomorrow is probably going to be the same.

• I can’t think about tomorrow.

• Whatever it is, weed, Ellen, or just a bad day, all of it can change over time.

• Don’t let one bad mental day weigh you down when it will probably be one of the first things I forget once it is over.

Summary - 27.08.2026

Set 1: 1 hour 35 minutes / 1 hour 35 minutes = 100%

• Break 1: 1 hour 15 minutes

Set 2: 1 hour 10 minutes / 1 hour 10 minutes = 100%

• Break 2: 1 hour 35 minutes

Set 3: 1 hour 31 minutes / 1 hour 31 minutes = 100%

Total Effective Work Time: 4 hours 16 minutes

Total Set Time: 4 hours 16 minutes

Average Work Time: 1 hour 25 minutes

Average Set Time: 1 hour 25 minutes

Average Set Efficiency: 100%

Overall Efficiency: 100%

Total Break Time: 2 hours 50 minutes

Average Break Time: 1 hour 25 minutes

Page Progress: 5 pages

Book Progress: 0.7%

Closing Words

I don’t know what is going on.

I constantly have the urge to scream, and I am absolutely irritated.

I don’t know why I am this annoyed.

I don’t want to spend any time with my thoughts right now.

5 Things That Made Me Happy Today

1. Fuck this day.

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Yesterday, I was done around 8 PM.

And then I had nothing to do.

I knew I was going to work tomorrow.

The main thing in my life I kept worrying about had suddenly become somewhat mundane.

But what surprised me much more was my disinterest in other things.

I am noticing that a lot of things I thought I was enjoying were merely avoidance.

Of course you enjoy a boring game if the other option is grueling work.

But now, I want to spend more time with the book.

I simply went to sleep, and today I woke up around 8 AM.

I have no weed left and probably won’t have any until Saturday or even Monday.

It’s part of my routine, and it’s worrying to be missing something.

But otherwise?

Again.

Nothing to do.

I walked my dog.

Ate something.

It was 11 AM.

I still had to wait 3 more hours until work.

I lay back down, masturbated, and went to sleep.

Now that I am recounting it, was that avoidance?

Maybe knowing that I have to work later triggers it?

In any case, I need to learn how to enjoy my time around the work.

I once heard:

Pleasure and discipline do not compete.

They pull the same wagon.

Workout

Starting Time: 2:41 PM

• I woke back up at 1:30 PM.

• I dislike looking at social media. It’s constantly telling me to get rich and that the world is corrupted.

• But every time I look outside, people are living normal lives.

• So I read a book Ellen had recommended to me.

• Only for a short time. I wanted to start work on time today.

• I sat at the PC at around 2:31 PM.

• I wanted to text Ellen, but I can’t. I realized I can just write down all the things I want to tell her in a notebook.

• I am 41 minutes late. Should I feel bad?

• No.

• Why would I feel bad about an observation?

• Seemingly, an hour and eleven minutes after waking up is not enough for me to get ready for work.

Set 1 - Starting Time: 2:41 PM

• 05:01 - Unsure about chapter design. Asking ChatGPT for an opinion.

• 35:08 - Oh. Already? Short chapter rewrites always make the time pass so fast.

• 46:35 - Handing in the chapter for editing notes. Good energy. Maybe take a break before it dips?

• 59:30 - Anxiety thinking about having to do the blog.

  • Maybe do the blog at the start of sets instead of dragging out long sets.

• 1:04:31 - Finished Chapter 52.1. 2 pages. Break.

Review 1

Effective Work Time: 1 hour 5 minutes / 1 hour 5 minutes = 100%

• Working on days when I am rested feels incredibly good.

• I wish I could spend even more time working. But in the gym, wishing for a better body doesn’t do anything. You just gradually lift bigger weights.

• At this point, 1-hour sets are starting to appear more often than 30-minute sets.

Break 1 - Start: 3:47 PM

Break Time: 48 minutes

• Don’t have anything to smoke. Trying a THC-alternative vape.

• Not ready to shed the coping mechanism.

• Taking my dog for a walk.

• Washing clothes.

• Sweeping the floor.

• Break doesn’t feel like a break.

• Sitting in front of the window, smoking an herbal replacement that doesn’t have any effect.

• The routine calms me.

Set 2 - Starting Time: 4:35 PM

• 00:00 - Blog.

• 13:17 - Anxiety. Working on the blog.

  • Feel stuck.

  • Reminding myself I can stop anytime I want.

  • Relief at the thought.

• 15:36 - Anxiety impulse.

• 21:33 - Want a break.

• 27:50 - Updated the blog. Taking a break.

Review 2

Effective Work Time: 28 minutes / 28 minutes = 100%

• I did the start of the blog and transferred the notes from Sets 1 and 2 at the beginning of Set 2. It was too much.

• Productivity is a lie. Well, somewhat.

• It’s like this: just because you have a strong body from the gym doesn’t mean you are going to outperform an athlete in their chosen exercise.

• In the same way, I still need to build capacity for individual tasks.

• Blogging has become more exhausting than simply working on the book.

Break 2 - Start: 5:03 PM

Break Time: 17 minutes

• Hopefully a short break to recover from the emotional fatigue of the blog.

• Don’t want to push my body straight back into work.

• I can take as many breaks and sets as I want.

Set 3 - Starting Time: 5:20 PM

• 24:45 - Handing in Chapter 52.2 for editing notes.

• 48:51 - Chapter 52 has a mirrored perspective. Complicated, but so fun to do.

• 1:05:22 - Finished Chapter 52. 4 pages total.

  • Anxiety thinking about doing the blog afterward.

  • Do I want to do it?

  • Rather now than later.

• 1:08:11 - Remembered the washing. Running to take care of it. Do I pause the set?

  • I guess the time should keep going. If this were office work, the time would keep going too.

  • Nah. Let’s take a break to keep efficiency focused on actual work.

• 1:13:08 - Break.

Review 3

Effective Work Time: 1 hour 8 minutes / 1 hour 8 minutes = 100%

• 4 pages don’t feel like a lot in a day.

• At the same time:

• It doesn’t matter.

• I’ll get better if I keep doing it.

• I tried to go for a max set today, and honestly, it made no difference.

• At least today, pushing harder didn’t seem to improve the result.

Break 3 - Start: 6:27 PM

Break Time: 1 hour 20 minutes

• Didn’t realize how long a break I was taking.

• Kinda wanted to do a fourth set.

• But starting a new chapter or doing the blog both didn’t seem very attractive.

• Spent most of the break scrolling through Instagram Shorts.

• Honestly, it’s probably the least restful thing ever.

• 20 to 30 minutes feel like 5 minutes and make work even less attractive.

• Shorts should be prohibited by law.

Set 4 - Starting Time: 7:47 PM

• 00:00 - Working on the blog. Transferring notes. Watching YouTube while doing it. Really bored. I’ll be happy when this experiment is over.

• 11:47 - Taking care of Substack admin stuff.

• 49:23 - Formatting the blog. Want to be done.

• 1:05:32 - Done with everything. Don’t want to type a single character anymore. Fuck everything.

Review 4

Effective Work Time: 1 hour / 1 hour 6 minutes = 91%

• I think I am going to do the blogs at the end of sets.

• Doing them at the beginning makes me not want to start at all.

• The problem is that the data is so incredibly useful.

Summary - 26.08.2026

Set 1: 1 hour 5 minutes / 1 hour 5 minutes = 100%

• Break 1: 48 minutes

Set 2: 28 minutes / 28 minutes = 100%

• Break 2: 17 minutes

Set 3: 1 hour 8 minutes / 1 hour 8 minutes = 100%

• Break 3: 1 hour 20 minutes

Set 4: 1 hour / 1 hour 6 minutes = 91%

Total Effective Work Time: 3 hours 41 minutes

Total Set Time: 3 hours 47 minutes

Average Work Time: 55 minutes

Average Set Time: 57 minutes

Average Set Efficiency: 98%

Overall Efficiency: 97%

Total Break Time: 2 hours 25 minutes

Average Break Time: 48 minutes

Page Progress: 4 pages

Book Progress: 0.6%

Closing Words

I wish I had more time.

Breaks cut a lot into the available work time.

But having regular breaks makes it less likely that I drop into avoidance.

I think today’s worst enemy was my expectation.

Not because I expected more work, but because I was solely looking forward to book work.

I need to make sure that I define the work honestly, not just the things I like.

Just like in the gym, where I do exercises I don’t like to balance my muscles.

Apropos, finished the blog.

Going to the gym.

5 Things That Made Me Happy Today

1. Woke up early.

2. Weight is down.

3. Didn’t panic because I ran out of weed.

4. Made a good chapter.

5. The blog is done.

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I woke up early today because, right after finishing everything yesterday, I went to sleep.

Waking up early, I finally mowed the lawn, which had been on my mind for days.

After that, it was off to group therapy.

I was kinda the center of attention today as well.

In any case, it cost me heaps of social energy.

Workout

Starting Time: 4:10 PM

• Super tired.

• I could distract myself.

• I could avoid.

• Instead, I want to use the time I have left in the day.

• Only a set can show me how much energy I really have.

• My feelings have been too unreliable too often.

Set 1 - Starting Time: 4:16 PM

• 00:00 - Started work. Forgot to start the timer.

• 02:08 - Normally, this level of being high and exhausted would be prime avoidance territory. But right now, avoidance somehow feels like it would cost me more energy than just working.

• 13:58 - Tired. Might do short sets today.

  • Handed in Chapter 51, 3 pages, for editing notes.

• 23:01 - Not feeling the same drive as yesterday.

• 25:06 - Feel pressured to put in a lot of time. Because of that, I am taking a break now.

  • I don’t work for numbers. I listen to how I feel.

Review 1

Effective Work Time: 25 minutes / 25 minutes = 100%

• You know what? I was about to be disappointed with the amount of time.

• But holy shit. 100% efficiency?

• Don’t get me wrong, I worked slowly, and it was hard to focus.

• But I didn’t dip into avoidance even though it was uncomfortable.

Break 1 - Start: 4:41 PM

Break Time: 2 hours 31 minutes

• Started gaming immediately. I want to work and have an efficient rest.

• I need to be careful with myself.

• In the gym, I wouldn’t push through uncomfortable pain either.

• Want to masturbate and have a nap. I know masturbation is the avoidance.

• Just trying to take a nap for 30 minutes.

• Worried about falling asleep and getting back to work.

• Accepting that just lying here is already restful.

• Woke up 30 minutes later. Felt anxiety about going back to work.

• Decided that I am going to give my body as much rest as it needs.

• Slept for 2 hours total.

• Played a session of games and then intentionally sat back down to work.

Set 2 - Starting Time: 7:12 PM

• 05:48 - Omg. So much smoother focus.

• 17:00 - Finished Chapter 51.

  • Doing the blog now. Want to finish close to on time.

  • Resting doesn’t create debt.

• 24:36 - Took care of some files. Opening YouTube.

• 45:01 - Feel a pang of exhaustion when I think about doing more for the blog today.

• 1:03:31 - Finished the blog. Happyyyyy.

Review 2

Effective Work Time: 56 minutes / 1 hour 3 minutes = 89%

• My inner critic keeps wanting to recover the time I spent resting.

• But because I’ve had so many productive days in a row, I can quiet those thoughts by reminding myself that tomorrow is a new day.

• I am wondering if I should have taken that nap before work.

• Then I would have had 2 hours of rested work time, and the breaks in between might have been shorter.

• If rest is needed, then I am already at the point where it critically improves my productivity.

Summary - 25.08.2026

Set 1: 25 minutes / 25 minutes = 100%

• Break 1: 2 hours 31 minutes

Set 2: 56 minutes / 1 hour 3 minutes = 89%

Total Effective Work Time: 1 hour 21 minutes

Total Set Time: 1 hour 28 minutes

Average Work Time: 41 minutes

Average Set Time: 44 minutes

Average Set Efficiency: 95%

Overall Efficiency: 92%

Total Break Time: 2 hours 31 minutes

Average Break Time: 2 hours 31 minutes

Page Progress: 3 pages

Book Progress: 0.4%

Closing Words

Honestly, the biggest achievement is that I was still productive despite the exhaustion.

Another achievement was that I didn’t choose avoidance.

The fact that I even had the power not to choose avoidance.

I chose rest.

I didn’t judge myself for it.

I came back to work afterward.

It feels healthy.

This is improvement too.

5 Things That Made Me Happy Today

1. Mowed the lawn.

2. Corrected my mom when she was mean to my nephew.

3. My group therapy showed me a lot of understanding.

4. Ran out of weed, but I feel capable of handling it.

5. Tomorrow, I have a completely free day to work.

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Today started with an appointment.

Had to wake up early.

But for once, I actually had enough control over my sleep cycle that I didn’t wake up feeling like someone had thrown bricks at me.

It was an emotional meeting. The social worker who had been helping me for two years was leaving.

I’ll make a dedicated post about her after the experiment.

She was proud when she heard about the experiment, though.

For all that time, I tried to figure out productivity.

And now, I am actually doing it.

Not even forcing myself.

Doing it in a healthy way.

Workout

Starting Time: 3:18 PM

• I could have started about an hour earlier.

• But tomorrow, we are talking about how we would improve group therapy.

• I had a lot of ideas and didn’t want them to distract me. So I wrote them all out and then started work.

• The one thing I have noticed is that every repetition of the routine makes the next repetition easier.

• Improvement in the gym takes way longer too. But this experiment has done more for my productivity in 16 days than I could have imagined.

• I constantly remind myself that I expect no result.

• Today could be absolutely terrible and distracted.

• The only thing I do is show up to training and put in my sets.

Set 1 - Starting Time: 3:18 PM

• 00:00 - Exhausted from the morning.

• 03:21 - Forgot to start the timer and just started working.

• 09:47 - Worried about Ellen texting.

• 33:58 - Realized the timer was going. Forgot about it during the rewrite.

• 45:11 - Geeking out with ChatGPT about the rewritten Chapter 50. It got way better.

• 58:42 - Updating the blog. Want to take a break, but the impulse to stop is way lower.

• 1:12:10 - Still working.

Review 1

Effective Work Time: 1 hour 14 minutes / 1 hour 16 minutes = 97%

• I almost feel like a fraud for how well this is going.

• Like, 1 hour of completely focused work?

• I tried that before, you know? 1 hour a day, and then in week 2, 2 hours a day.

• Didn’t even get 1 focused hour done. Completely crashed.

• But removing the whip didn’t make me run slower. It allowed me to get into a good running form.

Break 1 - Start: 4:36 PM

Break Time: 26 minutes

• Long first set. Need a good break.

• Ate watermelon.

• Smoked.

• Sat in the sun.

• Breaks are weird. It feels like I can keep working, but I know taking a break helps me recover for the next set.

Set 2 - Starting Time: 5:02 PM

• 04:50 - Check if I turned on the timer.

• 14:14 - Mom needs help.

• 26:12 - Back. Kinda tired.

• 39:51 - Avoidance impulses.

• 46:32 - Headache. Getting painkillers.

• 53:10 - Finished Chapter 50. 7 pages.

• 54:32 - Updating the blog.

Review 2

Effective Work Time: 45 minutes / 48 minutes = 94%

• I discounted the time spent helping my mother. It had nothing to do with my focus.

• The second set also went great.

• Although I gotta say, avoidance impulses are increasing toward the end, and 1-hour sets have been showing up more and more.

• Just something I gotta watch for now.

Break 2 - Start: 6:02 PM

Break Time: 42 minutes

• Spent it mostly watching Instagram.

• Actually wanted to watch brainrot but got hit by a bunch of philosophy instead.

• Then took a smoke break and just watched the plants.

Set 3 - Starting Time: 6:44 PM

• 00:00 - Doing 30 minutes max. Can’t keep going overtime.

• 06:53 - Checking messages.

• 27:45 - Fuuuuuuuck. I want to keep going. Fuck.

• 28:48 - I am doing a lot of rewriting, which is fun.

  • Probably can extend my work window.

  • Actually, I am not even using my whole time window yet. So starting at 2 PM might be the goal first.

• 38:30 - Stopping book work to do the blog.

  • Turning on YouTube.

• 40:49 - Avoidance impulse.

• 1:05:34 - Answered comments.

• 1:25:20 - Finished the blog.

Review 3

Effective Work Time: 1 hour 20 minutes / 1 hour 25 minutes = 94%

• Blog work is the most annoying part of it all. But even working on the blog doesn’t spark the same level of anxiety anymore.

• The problem is increasingly that time simply runs out.

• Also, another hour-long set.

• The rate at which these are increasing is insane.

Summary - 24.08.2026

Set 1: 1 hour 14 minutes / 1 hour 16 minutes = 97%

• Break 1: 26 minutes

Set 2: 45 minutes / 48 minutes = 94%

• Break 2: 42 minutes

Set 3: 1 hour 20 minutes / 1 hour 25 minutes = 94%

Total Effective Work Time: 3 hours 19 minutes

Total Set Time: 3 hours 29 minutes

Average Work Time: 1 hour 6 minutes

Average Set Time: 1 hour 10 minutes

Average Set Efficiency: 95%

Overall Efficiency: 95%

Total Break Time: 1 hour 8 minutes

Average Break Time: 34 minutes

Page Progress: 7 pages

Book Progress: 1.0%

Closing Words

A day where I woke up early and had an emotional meeting would normally have been enough to kill my entire routine.

But for the first time, I have kept the routine going long enough that it is stronger than any random occurrence.

With every repetition, the routine gets better and stronger.

Even though I am not consciously changing my behavior, the training is changing it.

And now I am tired.

Actually going to the gym early today, and then I am getting to bed earlier.

It’s genuinely so absurd to me how much of my life is getting into order by simply not pushing myself and just measuring.

5 Things That Made Me Happy Today

1. My gift made my social worker happy.

2. I parked my car really well.

3. Got through my routine with almost no anxiety.

4. Taking care of multiple things in my life without breaking.

5. Tomorrow is my day off.

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Every day, work is becoming less stressful.

But I did have some avoidance today.

I needed to take care of a goodbye gift.

I was waiting for someone’s answer to a text.

Got some bad news from a friend.

I just wanted to throw myself back into bed.

Actually, I did just that.

Slept the sorrows away and woke up to work.

And I was really looking forward to it.

During work, I can sink in more and more.

The good results keep motivating me.

It’s just like the gym.

But getting a great body doesn’t solve all your problems either.

I am just realizing I still have a lot of work left.

At the same time, I also don’t pull out my writing work while I’m at the gym.

Everything should have its time and place.

Right now, I just need to endure those other things.

Workout

Starting Time: 6:00 PM

• Felt unusually unwilling to work.

• Realized that avoidance temporarily reduces the anxiety in my body.

• And because my body is used to anxiety being associated with work, it starts avoiding work too.

Set 1 - Starting Time: 6:00 PM

• 00:00 - Spent the early part of the day doing chores. Should have pushed those to a break.

• 20:57 - Forgot the timer was going. Rewrites are fun.

• 23:44 - Check the time. Could take a break, but want to go a little longer.

• 32:13 - Don’t want to stop. Don’t want to deal with life.

• 49:00 - Want to finish the short chapter.

  • I am cold. Don’t want to get up and close the window.

• 55:23 - Finished chapter.

  • Closed the window.

• 1:03:21 - Updating the blog.

• 1:04:13 - Distracted by writing notes.

• 1:17:50 - Working on the blog. Want to take a break.

Review 1

Effective Work Time: 1 hour 22 minutes / 1 hour 24 minutes = 98%

• It’s really impressive how long a set can now casually go on.

• I do feel a bit of anxiety.

• But I know the work will end at some point and I can relax.

• Now my brain mourns having to stop working.

• Would love to do 3 sets.

• Maybe I’ll work until 9 or 10 PM. I have tomorrow off anyway.

Break 1 - Start: 7:32 PM

Break Time: 11 minutes

• Smoking.

• Stretching.

• Nothing highly stimulating.

• Spent it sitting in front of the window, looking at nature, smoking, and listening to music.

• Truly felt restful.

Set 2 - Starting Time: 7:43 PM

• 13:49 - Check if I turned on the timer.

• 39:24 - Rewriting the next chapter.

  • Realizing I should take a break.

• 1:09:41 - Didn’t think I had already been working this long.

  • Updating the blog.

• 1:15:41 - Take a break.

Review 2

Effective Work Time: 1 hour 15 minutes / 1 hour 15 minutes = 100%

• There is something really addictive about this.

• I don’t know if it’s because I am more actively writing instead of just correcting, but genuinely, the only thing I am afraid of is burning out.

• Really, I just want to keep going.

• But I do feel the exhaustion.

• So I am taking a break.

• Also thinking about whether starting later in the day might be better in general.

• But I guess yesterday went great too. So it probably has nothing to do with the time of day.

Break 2 - Start: 9:00 PM

Break Time: 1 hour

• Took a long break.

• Gaming mostly.

• Don’t really want to do a third set.

• But might as well, since I already took the break.

Set 3 - Starting Time: 10:00 PM

• 03:49 - Doing light work. Unfocused.

• 07:39 - Distracted by Instagram. Avoidance impulses high.

• 09:00 - Distracted by Shorts.

  • Still need to do the blog.

  • Actually, I can do that right now as Set 3.

• 12:41 - Turned on Would I Lie to You? while working on the blog.

• 25:41 - Distracted by my phone.

• 46:12 - Finished the blog.

Review 3

Effective Work Time: 35 minutes / 46 minutes = 76%

• Maybe long breaks make it harder for me to return focused?

• I feel like if I had returned after only smoking and taking a 15-minute break, I might have kept working on the book.

• But apparently, I wanted a longer break.

• Anyway, I already got a good amount of book work in during the first two sets.

• I am happy with that.

Summary - 22.08.2026

Set 1: 1 hour 22 minutes / 1 hour 24 minutes = 98%

• Break 1: 11 minutes

Set 2: 1 hour 15 minutes / 1 hour 15 minutes = 100%

• Break 2: 1 hour

Set 3: 35 minutes / 46 minutes = 76%

Total Effective Work Time: 3 hours 12 minutes

Total Set Time: 3 hours 25 minutes

Average Work Time: 1 hour 4 minutes

Average Set Time: 1 hour 8 minutes

Average Set Efficiency: 91%

Overall Efficiency: 94%

Total Break Time: 1 hour 11 minutes

Average Break Time: 36 minutes

Page Progress: 2 pages

Book Progress: 0.3%

Closing Words

It’s insane how something like waiting for a text is weighing so heavily on my mind.

If this one doesn’t work out, I am not giving my number out again.

I am losing so much focus over nothing.

But then again, the same could have been said about this.

Maybe I need to apply some training to more areas of my life.

It only really took 5 days of consistent training to start seeing change.

Now, two weeks in, I am working 2 hours on my book without much trouble.

5 Things That Made Me Happy Today

1. Found the necessary things to make a good goodbye gift.

2. Worked well.

3. Diet is going well.

4. The absence of anxiety during work.

5. Tomorrow is my day off!

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I slept well. Long.

But I don’t mind.

I was at my computer at 3:15 PM.

The whole day is as free as a runway.

Those were always the days that would break me.

My brain would see 9 free hours.

Alright, that’s 7 hours of potential work time.

Now everything that took away from that was a failure.

Even today, when I talked to my inner child before work, it was afraid of how long we would work.

I have been working between one and two hours every workday for almost two weeks now.

So, accounting for the blog, it comes out to around 3 to 4 hours of work.

I reminded my inner child that we only work as long as we want to.

And realistically, by now, we know that 1 hour of book work doesn’t really faze us on a good day.

When I go to the gym, I don’t doubt the weight I can lift.

Because I lifted it only a few days ago.

Workout

Starting Time: 3:15 PM

• I realized I can edit the blog during work.

• It just doesn’t count as break time.

• It’s part of the work. I only need to transfer the information.

• Also, before starting, I was writing this blog and needed a graph, which almost sent me down a rabbit hole. I could feel the anxiety in my chest.

• But coming back to this blog reminded me:

• I don’t need anything to start except my DOCX file.

• Or should I do it to get the weight off me?

• But realistically, do I suffer long-term if that work waits?

• No.

• Then stick to the routine.

• Today, I am trying to do 4 sets.

• I am wondering whether longer set times are even the goal, or if it’s more about repeated sets of short bursts.

Set 1 - Starting Time: 3:41 PM

• 00:00 - Anxiety bubbling in my chest.

• 01:40 - Discord message.

  • Noticing high avoidance potential.

  • Need to be careful. Closing everything else.

• 23:44 - Check the time. Could take a break, but want to go a little longer.

• 32:51 - Doing blog entry before the break.

• 36:30 - Blog updated.

Review 1

Effective Work Time: 34 minutes / 36 minutes = 94%

• Solid first set. I was thinking about going, fuck it, and just doing an hour-long set.

• But I need to decide on one way to train my body.

• If I keep changing the objective, I am not really building strength.

• I like short bursts.

• They allow me to live life during the breaks in between without feeling trapped.

Break 1 - Start: 4:18 PM

Break Time: 12 minutes

• Smoking.

• Stretching.

• Nothing highly stimulating.

• Spent it sitting in front of the window, looking at nature, smoking, and listening to music.

• Truly felt restful.

Set 2 - Starting Time: 4:30 PM

• 00:00 - Humming along to the music.

• 09:31 - High anxiety. Maybe the weed strain?

• 23:10 - Really don’t want to stop. Remembering how much I love actual writing.

• 41:55 - Deep in scene work. Not stopping.

• 56:53 - Finished the Chapter 48 rewrite. Handing the chapter to ChatGPT.

• 57:30 - Updating the blog.

• 1:04:46 - Done updating.

Review 2

Effective Work Time: 1 hour 5 minutes / 1 hour 5 minutes = 100%

• I really thought this set would tank.

• Short break, high anxiety at the start.

• But the low-stimulation break felt really good and kept me in the zone.

• The session itself was phenomenal.

• I was so deep in it, truly enjoying it instead of worrying about the anxiety.

• The fourth set might end up really short, just to get it in.

Break 2 - Start: 5:34 PM

Break Time: 16 minutes

• Need a deeper break now. Something to eat.

• Stretched, did some push-ups, smoked twice.

• 10 PM is gym.

• Work is probably until 8 PM.

• Blog + book work.

• 3 to 4 hours of focused productivity.

• What an achievement.

• I am doing great today.

Set 3 - Starting Time: 5:50 PM

• 13:20 - Realized I hadn’t started the timer. Just worked.

• 26:37 - Avoidance bubbling up. I want to finish the chapter.

• 41:10 - The rewrite makes me realize how much better I’ve gotten at writing.

  • About to finish the chapter.

• 45:33 - Finished chapter.

• 47:12 - Editing the blog.

• 56:03 - Stopping. Heart clenching. Need to reserve more time for the blog.

Review 3

Effective Work Time: 56 minutes / 56 minutes = 100%

• I don’t know what is happening today.

• Maybe it’s the accumulated training + the lost weight of the blog backlog, but I am absolutely overperforming today.

• But I do feel my body reaching its edge.

• It feels like sadness.

• So, one more break. Then I finish off the blog, do some admin stuff, and have two hours free before I go to the gym.

• Probably venting the avoidance.

Break 3 - Start: 6:46 PM

Break Time: 9 minutes

• Smoke break.

• Drank some water.

• Just get the rest done and over with so I can rest.

• Tried meditation instead of watching videos.

• It increased the calm in me without washing the anxiety away.

Set 4 - Starting Time: 6:55 PM

• 00:00 - Looking forward to cuddling with my dog.

  • Working on the blog.

• 05:02 - Need to make an appointment. Pushing it to afterward.

• 07:02 - Dog saw something. I checked it out.

  • Realizing that I don’t need to be as focused while working on the blogs. I can watch videos while doing it.

• 13:28 - Anxiety because of the new addition to the routine.

Review 4

Effective Work Time: 23 minutes / 23 minutes = 100%

• It’s so surprising how well this is going.

• There is something liberating about knowing your capacity and being honest about it.

• But I do feel the burn.

• At least I have a lot of free time after this, and only tomorrow is left as a workday.

Summary - 21.08.2026

Set 1: 34 minutes / 36 minutes = 94%

• Break 1: 12 minutes

Set 2: 1 hour 5 minutes / 1 hour 5 minutes = 100%

• Break 2: 16 minutes

Set 3: 56 minutes / 56 minutes = 100%

• Break 3: 9 minutes

Set 4: 23 minutes / 23 minutes = 100%

Total Effective Work Time: 2 hours 58 minutes

Total Set Time: 3 hours

Average Work Time: 45 minutes

Average Set Time: 45 minutes

Average Set Efficiency: 99%

Overall Efficiency: 99%

Total Break Time: 37 minutes

Average Break Time: 12 minutes

Page Progress: 6 pages

Book Progress: 0.8%

Closing Words

This day was amazing.

I am doing everything in my power not to expect this kind of performance from myself every day.

But this is what consistent training can lead to.

When this becomes normal.

Today, I am celebrating myself and getting something tasty to eat.

And look at that, I am finished with my work, and it’s not the middle of the night.

5 Things that made me happy today

1. Waking up late and not feeling bad about it.

2. Breaks were short but incredibly restful.

3. Finishing both blog and bookwork inside the work frame.

4. Watching videos during editing.

5. Play fighting with my dog this morning.

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You know, no wonder I had a breakdown in university when I never took care of things.

Now that I actually take care of most things in my life, I realize how insanely depressing it is to have something building up in the background.

Every day was another unfinished blog I needed to take care of.

I kept going with the experiment.

Which I am really proud of.

But it certainly held back my performance.

Last night, I spent 2 hours transferring my notes to the blogs and correcting the numbers.

And today, I spent another 4 hours editing and formatting.

It’s now 2:32 AM.

All I need to do now is finish this blog. Then I am finally up to date again.

Only one blog a day.

Workout

Starting Time: 5:30 PM

• Sat down around 2 PM.

• Wanted to take care of the blogs early.

• Then the pretty woman I met over the weekend texted me, and I went on a walk with her.

• Anxiety was super high before work because I was worrying about texting.

• I’ve been really happy about work recently.

• Because it has become so predictable, it has become somewhat of a safe space.

• My brain is learning that it’s not a threat.

• There is still anxiety around the work, but it’s all weight inside my head.

• The work itself is calming.

Set 1 - Starting Time: 6:00 PM

• 07:16 - Checking messages.

• 09:19 - So deep in work I didn’t notice the timer was going. Wrote Chapter 48 completely new.

• 32:44 - Taking a forced break.

Review 1

Effective Work Time: 33 minutes / 33 minutes = 100%

• I love working on days when I get a full night’s sleep.

• Honestly, if I reduced the noise in my life, my performance would really improve.

• The work itself is becoming more and more focused.

• During work, anxiety only seems to show up when I am genuinely completely exhausted or overactive.

• I even wanted to keep going, but I want to keep the sets as short bursts.

• Hopefully, I can increase the number of sets in the future.

Break 1 - Start: 6:32 PM

Break Time: 15 minutes

• Just spent it playing games.

• Making sure not to work on the blogs so I actually keep my breaks work-free.

• Interestingly, forgot to smoke.

Set 2 - Starting Time: 6:47 PM

• 07:18 - Handing in the rewrite.

  • Afraid of how long I will have to work on the blogs afterward.

• 26:20 - Remembered that the timer was going. Break to keep my focus for Set 3.

Review 2

Effective Work Time: 26 minutes / 26 minutes = 100%

• I think I am seeing the first fruits of my training.

• Sets are reaching 100% efficiency more regularly.

• Which, in and of itself, is a huge achievement.

• But short bursts are now reliably producing high efficiency with low anxiety.

Break 2 - Start: 7:13 PM

Break Time: 18 minutes

• Spent it bored, gaming.

• Would have liked to continue the set.

• Forgot to smoke again.

• Avoidance behavior is reducing on its own.

Set 3 - Starting Time: 7:31 PM

• 00:00 - Low motivation to start. Impulse to avoid. Thought about having to take care of the blogs later.

• 13:45 - Finished Chapter 47. No motivation to start the next one.

Review 3

Effective Work Time: 14 minutes / 14 minutes = 100%

• I mean, the set had high efficiency.

• But I don’t know what exactly happened.

• Thought I would keep going until 8 PM, but the thought of having to do the blogs spiked my avoidance.

• Maybe I should do the blogs at the start of the workday and do the days retrospectively?

• Maybe I just need to include the blogs in the routine and automate the process.

Summary - 20.08.2026

Set 1: 33 minutes / 33 minutes = 100%

• Break 1: 15 minutes

Set 2: 26 minutes / 26 minutes = 100%

• Break 2: 18 minutes

Set 3: 14 minutes / 14 minutes = 100%

Total Effective Work Time: 1 hour 13 minutes

Total Set Time: 1 hour 13 minutes

Average Work Time: 24 minutes

Average Set Time: 24 minutes

Average Set Efficiency: 100%

Overall Efficiency: 100%

Total Break Time: 33 minutes

Average Break Time: 17 minutes

Page Progress: 3 pages

Book Progress: 0.4%

Closing Words

Finalllllly done.

I worked through all the blogs.

This week in therapy, I learned to say something when my boundaries get crossed.

And now I am learning to take care of the things that are important to me.

One more thing I am proud of is that I didn’t panic.

Work continued.

I kept doing rough versions of the blogs.

And I planned days ahead to fit in catching up on them.

Work continued.

Life continued.

Hobbies continued.

This is looking healthy.

This feels less like the gym and more like rehabilitation.

Now.

Sleeeeeeeeeeep.

5 Things That Made Me Happy Today

1. Seeing Ellen.

2. Talking to her about problems.

3. Working on the book.

4. Finishing all the blogs.

5. The blanket around my shoulders being comfortable.

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Really was starting to doubt myself.

Especially because I wasn’t getting the blogs done.

Actually, only the blogs weren’t going well.

I also wasn’t looking at the numbers.

I realized taking notes is only one part. Constantly seeing the numbers is the other part.

But today I got a full night’s rest.

Starting was smooth.

Twenty minutes of finishing something else, and then I sat at my desk and opened the DOCX file.

I’ve got a lot of blogs to retroactively finish. They are weighing heavily on my mind, but today I finally have some time to do all that I want!

Or at least part of it!

We are healthy adults!

Workout

Starting Time: 2:22 PM

• Finally got a full night’s rest.

• I am ready.

Set 1 - Starting Time: 2:24 PM

• 01:48 - Looking forward to seeing Ellen.

• 33:24 - Holy shit. Completely forgot a timer was running. I’ll do 45 minutes for the first set, I guess.

• 51:11 - Break.

Review 1

Effective Work Time: 50 minutes / 51 minutes = 98%

• The anxiety I connect to work is falling off.

• Today’s anxiety before work was there, especially because of yesterday. But I keep reminding myself that I have been working every day.

• And the numbers ain’t looking too shabby either.

• This was probably the most focused set I’ve ever had.

• Right after, I took note of the break time.

• And accidentally went back to work again.

• I accidentally kept working???

Break 1 - Start: 3:15 PM

Break Time: 25 minutes

• Doing some editing on the blog.

• I have a lot of blogs I need to finish. Like four.

• They are mostly finished, but every day it’s one more.

• So the pressure inside my head keeps growing.

Set 2 - Starting Time: 3:40 PM

• 00:14 - Tough to get into the groove again.

• 00:59 - Trance music playlist helped.

• 04:39 - Get the book into the project files on ChatGPT during the break.

• 09:40 - Discord message.

• 18:22 - Back to work.

• 22:24 - If I find a tiny mistake, my brain thinks it needs to fix that same mistake a hundred times, even though I only saw it once. Maybe that’s why my anxiety rises when looking at the next page.

• 26:06 - Handing Chapter 46 to ChatGPT for editing notes. Feel anxiety thinking about the next chapter.

• 29:40 - I want a break.

Review 2

Effective Work Time: 19 minutes / 30 minutes = 63%

• Felt very distracted.

• Chapter work was quite good, though, now that I think about it.

Break 2 - Start: 4:10 PM

Break Time: 1 hour 51 minutes

• During the last break, I worked on the blog and then went right back to work.

• For my brain, it probably felt like working for an hour and a half without rest.

• Taking a big break now.

• Feel all the urges for avoidance. Gaming, masturbation, YouTube, nap.

Set 3 - Starting Time: 6:01 PM

• 01:41 - Zero motivation or focus left. Want to go back to bed.

• 04:44 - I want to stop.

• 08:54 - Zero will to keep going. Stop. Finished Chapter 46.

Review 3

Effective Work Time: 8 minutes / 9 minutes = 89%

• Genuinely never had a set where I felt so unmotivated.

• The break wasn’t very healthy either.

• I need to respect breaks the same way I want to respect sets.

Summary - 19.08.2026

Set 1: 50 minutes / 51 minutes = 98%

• Break 1: 25 minutes

Set 2: 19 minutes / 30 minutes = 63%

• Break 2: 1 hour 51 minutes

Set 3: 8 minutes / 9 minutes = 89%

Total Effective Work Time: 1 hour 17 minutes

Total Set Time: 1 hour 30 minutes

Average Work Time: 26 minutes

Average Set Time: 30 minutes

Average Set Efficiency: 83%

Overall Efficiency: 86%

Total Break Time: 2 hours 16 minutes

Average Break Time: 1 hour 8 minutes

Page Progress: 4 pages

Book Progress: 0.6%

Closing Words

The unfinished blogs are weighing me down.

Not doing them.

The thought of them.

Later tonight, I am doing something about it.

I am slightly overworking, but the thought of them is starting to cost more energy than the work itself.

Today again made me realize how necessary actual balance is to keep the boat afloat.

Tomorrow, I am pushing the book later into the day. I’ll finish the unfinished blogs and then go work.

I know my work sets only take 1 to 2 hours. Including breaks, that’s like 3 hours.

So even if I start at 5 PM, I am doing well.

But let’s see tomorrow’s sun first.

5 Things That Made Me Happy Today

1. Good gym session.

2. Respected my own tiredness.

3. Working on the unfinished blogs.

4. Eating a tasty meal from my mom.

5. Cleaning my room.

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Today I had therapy, but not normal therapy. Group therapy, and I was the center of attention.

For weeks, I had a hard time opening myself up.

But inspired by Hercules, I am taking small steps to improve.

One of them is speaking up if something annoys me.

Today, we talked about all the annoyances we had with each other.

It was socially relieving and an achievement in and of itself.

It’s also draining.

Workout

Started: 5:00 PM

• One hour of procrastination before even starting work.

• And then another hour before starting the first set.

• I notice that being tired always increases my avoidance.

• The thought of doing the blogs is becoming more and more overwhelming.

• Today is a bad day.

• But the challenge was never dealing with the good days.

Set 1 - Starting Time: 6:53 PM

• 00:00 - Feel defeatist. Still showing up.

  • I need to celebrate and create partial goals.

  • Only one hour left to work.

• 31:40 - Don’t want to stop. Maybe just do one big set.

• 35:58 - While working, it’s easier to focus.

• 44:06 - Kind of want a break. But if I take one, there’s no time for Set 2.

  • I guess a 5-minute break is healthy.

Review 1

Effective Work Time: 44 minutes / 44 minutes = 100%

• Feelings. Are. Unreliable. I felt tired all day. Came in expecting nothing.

• And yet again, I am performing great.

• Tiredness always seems to make me less likely to start, but it doesn’t necessarily make me perform badly once I do.

Break 1 - Start: 7:40 PM

Break Time: 5 minutes

• Did two quick gaming runs and stretched.

Set 2 - Starting Time: 7:45 PM

• 15:00 - 8 PM. Stopped.

Review 2

Effective Work Time: 15 minutes / 15 minutes = 100%

• Simply worked. The time pressure made it even easier to focus, and the short break didn’t make me lose the thread.

• Maybe I should try more sets with small breaks?

• No Set 3 today.

Summary - 18.08.2026

Set 1: 44 minutes / 44 minutes = 100%

• Break 1: 5 minutes

Set 2: 15 minutes / 15 minutes = 100%

Total Effective Work Time: 59 minutes

Total Set Time: 59 minutes

Average Work Time: 29 minutes 30 seconds

Average Set Time: 29 minutes 30 seconds

Average Set Efficiency: 100%

Overall Efficiency: 100%

Total Break Time: 5 minutes

Average Break Time: 5 minutes

Page Progress: 0

Book Progress: 0%

Closing Words

Today’s accomplishment was in therapy.

Working on my mental health obviously helps my work more directly than almost anything else.

Considering that, I still worked for almost an hour completely focused.

Actually, it’s my first fully 100% day.

These short bursts are impressing me more and more.

Things get done faster and with better quality.

Anyway. I am tired.

5 Things That Made Me Happy Today

1. Spilling my feelings in therapy.

2. Being understood.

3. Laughing with the group.

4. A friend helping me with date ideas.

5. Having a good gym workout.

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I was at the city festival yesterday.

Absolutely worth it, great energy.

I met someone I really liked.

And drank a bunch.

The problem is, I am nearing 30.

Soooo, I am just trying to get through the sets today

Workout

Start: 5:08 PM

• So many distractions.

• Smoking a lot. Feel tired.

• Day after the club.

• OMG. Everything is pulling my attention.

• Reminding myself:

  • Today is nothing special.

  • Just training.

  • Just observe.

• Immediately got distracted writing Substack Notes.

• Incredibly hard to focus. My focus is completely fucked from drinking alcohol.

Set 1 - Starting Time: 5:40 PM

• 01:46 - High anxiety. Started humming.

• 14:30 - Discord message.

• 16:00 - Back to work. Want to procrastinate. Push it to the break.

• 20:19 - Work starting to flow.

• 26:00 - Accepting that I will be distracted today. Simply keep returning.

• 39:08 - Break.

Review 1

Effective Work Time: 30 minutes / 39 minutes = 77%

• Cold starts are really bad for me. Maybe I should start doing warm-up sets.

• But I didn’t expect too much, considering I have a light hangover.

• Actually got a surprising amount done.

Break 1 - Start: 6:20 PM

Break Time: 1 hour 26 minutes

• Taking a large break.

• Eating something.

• Taking a walk.

• Smoking.

Set 2 - Starting Time: 7:46 PM

• 10:41 - Way better focus.

• 26:51 - Great focus.

  • Unbelievable. Normally, a start like that would have ruined the day. But each set’s efficiency seems much more independent of the others than I thought.

• 34:31 - Impulse to stop when looking at the next sentence.

  • Actually need to take a break if I still want to do a third set.

Review 2

Effective Work Time: 31 minutes / 35 minutes = 90%

• After the first set being so bad, I expected at least the second set to suck.

• But it went incredibly well.

• Healthy breaks can do so much.

Break 2 - Start: 8:21 PM

Break Time: 35 minutes

• Wanted to only take a short break, but my body demanded more. I got stuck gaming.

Set 3 - Starting Time: 8:56 PM

• 00:00 - Don’t have long. Maybe a 20 to 30-minute set.

• 11:54 - Honestly, just tired. Don’t want to work anymore.

Review 3

Effective Work Time: 32 minutes / 33 minutes = 97%

• What is really weird to me is how different the energy levels can be between sets.

Summary - 15.08.2026

Set 1: 30 minutes / 39 minutes = 77%

• Break 1: 1 hour 26 minutes

Set 2: 31 minutes / 35 minutes = 90%

• Break 2: 35 minutes

Set 3: 32 minutes / 33 minutes = 97%

Total Effective Work Time: 1 hour 33 minutes

Total Set Time: 1 hour 47 minutes

Average Work Time: 31 minutes

Average Set Efficiency: 88%

Overall Efficiency: 87%

Total Break Time: 2 hours 1 minute

Average Break Time: 1 hour 30 seconds

Page Progress: 0 pages

Book Progress: 0%

Closing Words

Yesterday, I met a woman called Ellen at the club who I really like.

I expect her to be there again today. We didn’t make plans.

I like the thrill of hoping.

What am I trying to say with that?

The sets happened not as the main point of the day, but as something I got done before going out and having fun.

Even bad days improve the routine.

5 Things That Made Me Happy Today

1. Ellen calling me.

2. Looking forward to seeing Ellen later.

3. Hangover meal.

4. Getting my sets done on a bad day.

5. Picking out a good outfit.

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Some days, I would be too tired for the gym.

So, because I prioritized the gym, I took a nap.

The nap was not avoidance, but a resource.

Just the same, I had an awesome weekend.

Met someone I really like.

We spent Sunday night together until five in the morning.

Worth every minute and more.

I also only got like three hours of sleep, before I woke up for an appointment.

So, when I sat there at 2 PM,

I thought:

“Today, I am going to the gym late.”

Workout

Start: 7:40 PM

• Realized my whole workout only takes about an hour and a half. I can fit that in easily.

• Huh?

• I just realized I didn’t avoid work. Instead, I restructured my day to make it possible.

• Anxiety is there.

• It’ll uncurl itself once it’s noticed.

• Start humming to focus.

• There is anxiety because I am not starting.

• I am not trying to achieve anything.

• I am just having fun.

Set 1 - Starting Time: 7:50 PM

• 09:33 - Forgot the timer was going.

  • Deep work.

  • Anxiety while writing a note.

  • Phone, gym clothes, break.

• 22:40 - Deep in work.

  • Don’t want to stop.

• 38:40 - Chapter finished. 44/150 Hand it to ChatGPT for editing notes.

  • Anxiety rose when looking at the next chapter.

  • Don’t want to break.

  • Don’t want to burn myself out.

Review 1

Effective Work Time: 39 minutes / 39 minutes = 100%

• I was super unfocused at the start of the set.

• But at some point, that just settled.

• I always expect to stay unfocused, but often it’s only a few minutes.

• Maybe I am being too hard on myself by expecting myself to focus immediately.

Break 1 - Start: 8:28 PM

Break Time: 35 minutes

• Smoked a bit.

• Wrote the blog out without formatting.

• Freshened up my gym clothes.

• Put my phone on the charger.

Set 2 - Starting Time: 9:03 PM

• 22:42 - Wrote a Substack Note to keep in drafts.

• 26:44 - Finished chapter. 45/150

Review 2

Effective Work Time: 24 minutes / 26 minutes 44 seconds = 90%

• Honestly. Just started and worked.

• Working after a nap is really great for me.

• A nap in the middle of the day seems to reset me.

Break 2 - Start: 9:30 PM

Break Time: 11 minutes

• Taking a short break so I can get another short set in, then it’s off to the gym.

Set 3 - Starting Time: 9:41 PM

• 00:00 - Only time for a 15-minute set.

  • Have a small chapter ready.

  • Let’s see how far we get.

• 10:03 - Going over the time limit to keep working.

• 19:06 - Chapter finished. Niceeeee.

Review 3

Effective Work Time: 19 minutes / 19 minutes = 100%

• Honestly, the time pressure, knowing it was a short set, and having a short chapter to work on made me hyper-focused.

• I usually go to the gym at 9:50 PM.

• Today, I went at 10:10 PM because I wanted to finish the chapter.

• It still feels so weird how focused and productive these sessions feel when they aren’t even two hours long.

Summary - 17.08.2026

Set 1: 39 minutes / 39 minutes = 100%

• Break 1: 35 minutes

Set 2: 24 minutes / 26 minutes 44 seconds = 90%

• Break 2: 11 minutes

Set 3: Effective Work Time: 19 minutes / 19 minutes = 100%

Total Set Time: 1 hour 24 minutes

Average Set Time: 28 minutes

Total Effective Work Time: 1 hour 21 minutes

Average Work Time: 27 minutes 15 seconds

Average Set Efficiency: 97%

Overall Efficiency: 97%

Total Break Time: 46 minutes

Average Break Time: 23 minutes

Page Progress: 7

Book Progress: 1%

Closing Words

Yesterday was my day off, and I felt so much more energy today.

Also, I’ve seen Ellen every day since Friday.

Gotta say, getting some care and closeness has also really improved my motivation.

The sets are becoming more and more of a habit.

I am also getting more realistic about the time frame, which makes it easier to fit them into my day.

5 Things That Made Me Happy Today

1. Meeting my social worker.

2. Showing her my results.

3. Talking to a friend about Ellen.

4. Recovering from my gym injury.

5. Cleaning up my room.

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Workout

Start Time: 2:17 PM

That’s when I could have started.

But then I went inside and was in the mood.

Had a fight with my mom.

Called a friend to vent.

Took care of chores.

Realized a gift I ordered would arrive at the wrong address.

Had to reorder it.

Payment got declined.

Had to head out and get gift vouchers.

Came back, ordered the gift.

It’s 4:22 PM.

Anxiety is through the roof.

Later, I need to go to the gym.

After that, it’s off to a city event.

I am smoking weed.

Wanting to just toss the day.

Until I have that one thought:

What would you do at the gym if you had limited time?

Get the necessary sets in and get out.

So, that’s what I am doing.

3 x 30-minute sets.

Set 1 - Starting Time: 4:30 PM

• 03:11 - Word didn’t save my progress. Annoyed, angry, want to quit.

• 11:40 - Relief. Recovered the file.

• 15:52 - Washing my face.

• 23:12 - Calming down. Whatever gets done, gets done.

• 41:05 - Deep in work, but have to stop for a break.

Review 1

Effective Work Time: 30 minutes / 41 minutes = 73%

• Felt super distracted, but in reality, most of the set was used.

• For the first time, I am forced to stop just because I don’t have time for a longer set, and I can feel myself wanting to continue.

Break 1 - Start: 5:12 PM

Break Time: 14 minutes

• I am super tense.

• So many things need to be done.

• Need to refocus. Only one thing at a time. Worrying about the others does nothing but cost energy.

• Editing the blog during the break so I have it done at the same time I finish work.

• Got something to drink and went right back to work.

• Wanted to smoke, but I had already sat down. Not worth getting up.

Set 2 - Starting Time: 5:26 PM

• 06:30 - Want to put aftershave on. Push it to the break.

• 15:31 - Catch myself replaying the fight with my mother.

• 30:55 - Caught myself again. Realized it’s break time.

Review 2

Effective Work Time: 31 minutes / 31 minutes = 100%

• Wish I could be working longer. It gives me anxiety to stop so early.

• But maybe that’s also something I need to train.

• Not always working until I reach my capacity limit.

• I am doing good work.

Break 2 - Start: 6:00 PM

Break Time: 16 minutes

• Smoking.

• Washing my face.

• Putting on aftershave.

• Editing the blog.

• Impulse to procrastinate right as I want to get up to wash my face.

• Slip right back into work.

Set 3 - Starting Time: 6:16 PM

• 03:49 - Notice humming along to the music reduces anxiety. It also keeps me focused during transitions or while taking notes.

• 06:30 - Handing the chapter to ChatGPT for notes.

• 12:38 - Felt annoyance without the urge to stop. I know the set ends soon anyway. I barely have time.

• 19:23 - Replay the fight. Want to finish the chapter.

• 33:11 - Chapter 43 done.

Review 3

Effective Work Time: 32 minutes / 33 minutes = 97%

• You know what the biggest achievement is today?

• Although the day was actually stressful.

• I had little time.

• And anxiety was super high.

• I decided to do 3 x 30-minute sets and simply did them right after each other.

• Sure. The start is still bumpy.

• But overall, isn’t setting out to do work and then doing the work exactly what I wanted?

• This is great news.

Summary - 14.08.2026

Set 1: 30 minutes / 41 minutes = 73%

• Break 1: 14 minutes

Set 2: 31 minutes / 31 minutes = 100%

• Break 2: 16 minutes

Set 3: 32 minutes / 33 minutes = 97%

Total Effective Work Time: 1 hour 33 minutes

Total Set Time: 1 hour 45 minutes

Average Work Time: 31 minutes

Average Set Efficiency: 90%

Overall Efficiency: 89%

Total Break Time: 30 minutes

Average Break Time: 15 minutes

Page Progress: 3 Pages

Book Progress: 0.4%

Closing Words

Now I am going to clean this blog up.

Pack my gym bag.

Go to the gym.

Get my dog out.

And then it’s off to the club.

Completely content with my day’s work.

What a feeling.

5 Things That Made Me Happy Today

1. Realizing I was too mean to my mother.

2. My dog jumping.

3. The pace of my progress.

4. Phone call with a friend.

5. Handling the gift situation.

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You know what power is?

Knowledge!

And you know what knowledge is?

The accumulation of data.

And baby, trust me, I got data.

It’s so funny. I always forget how much I enjoy noting everything down, but when you go over it, patterns emerge that are undeniable.

I have been struggling with the length of the sets.

For years to push myself for hours on end to work.

In the gym, I know I am doing 3 sets of 8 repetitions at 12 kg.

But for the book, I am doing:

3 sets of x numbers of y editing.

I don’t have fixed numbers for the other variables.

Until now!

It’s the 5th day.

Considering the first day an outlier, I have 3 somewhat stable data points.

These don’t define the rest of the curve, but they can give me a structure for progression.

Notice something?

All three days had an average work time around 30 minutes.

11.08 was the day I had group therapy and was tired.

Furthermore, I looked at the longest sets.

The longer set times tended to have worse efficiency.

But on the day when the longest set was around 30 minutes, the efficiency outperformed the others.

Even better, the break afterward was really short.

So, the resulting adjustment is rather obvious.

Do 3 sets of 30 minutes of editing and see what numbers come out.

Workout

Starting Time: 3:17 PM

Again, a social encounter made me late.

But after that I avoided going inside where my mom was. I knew a comment from her could derail my focused mental.

I also noticed that I am starting preparation for the routine around 2 PM.

At 2 PM, everything should already be ready for me to go.

I spent the next 40 minutes making the graphs above because I felt they were important.

Maybe I should expand the book work window to include this kind of work?

At 3:44 PM, I realized I already knew the result of the graphs anyway.

It’s that I should try to go for 30-minute intervals. (this was written before the above part)

Set 1 - Starting Time: 3:45 PM

• 00:51 - Asking ChatGPT to generate pictures for the article to save time later.

• 01:11 - Worried about the 30-minute mark.

• 01:35 - Want to ask ChatGPT to adjust the picture.

  • Correct myself: “I can do that later in the break.”

• 7:00 - Noticed how deep I was swimming in the work.

  • Wanted to check the time, got distracted by ChatGPT.

  • Corrected myself, pushing it to the break.

• 8:38 - Back to work.

• 18:58 - ChatGPT physics question that could have waited.

• 25:41 - Thought about cleaning my keyboard, but I know the break is coming.

  • Oh. No impulses to stop yet.

• 30:31 - Going for 35. Don’t want to stop quite yet.

• 39:10 - Didn’t notice. Break.

Review 1

Effective Work Time: 35 minutes / 39 minutes = 89%

• Immediately noticing how good a clear break point feels.

• I can push things off to the immediate future while still staying focused in the moment.

• I also avoided distractions more consistently.

• Still kept the stopwatch instead of a timer. 30 minutes is just a natural break point for me right now.

• The third set can be open-ended. Especially knowing I have already gotten 1 or 2 good sets in.

Break 1 - Start: 4:25 PM

27 minutes

• Smoked a bit.

• Got a protein shake.

• Worked on the live blog for this.

• Wondering whether break time tends to equal work time after long sets and drop to about half the work time after shorter sets.

• Almost forgot smoking.

Set 2 - Starting Time: 4:52 PM

• 04:23 - Giving my dog food.

• 05:28 - Came back. Impulse to stop. 30 minutes is so short, though.

• 07:40 - Clean keyboard again. Pushed it to the break.

• 20:59 - Deep in scene work. Didn’t notice time go by.

• 27:20 - Worried about the 30-minute mark. Might go for 45.

  • Does that mean the break will be longer?

• 32:06 - Worried about how long I’ll go.

  • But I still want to keep going.

  • Anxiety rising, though.

• 39:22 - Forgot the time again.

• 48:54 - Forgot I wanted to stop at all.

Review 2

Effective Work Time: 46 minutes / 49 minutes = 94%

• Gotta be honest, kind of weird seeing how often I worry and it turns out to be nothing.

• Like, it’s literally just worry for the sake of worry.

• Around 30 minutes does seem to be the sweet spot where I am still completely energized.

• Energy drops off after that, but I get lost in the work far more often now instead of getting impulses to stop.

Break 2 - Start: 5:43 PM

13 minutes

• Work feels way less exhausting.

• Got tired of the break, though.

• Really like that trance-like feeling during work.

• Set 3: going for 30 minutes, but I can stop anytime.

• Who knows where we’ll be at Day 21.

Set 3 - Starting Time: 5:56 PM

• 6:10 - Hand chapter to ChatGPT for editing notes.

• 26:15 - Deep in work. No worries.

  • During note-taking and breaks, anxiety rises.

• 42:44 - Tired, but want to finish the chapter.

• 47:50 - Locking in the chapter. Yet urge to smoke weed. Reward?

  • Avoidance because I will do the blog after? Maybe take a third break?

  • Need to consider.

• 53:20 - Urge to stop, but want the chapter finished.

• 56:11 - Stop. Relief. Pushed it. Chapter done.

Review 3

Effective Work Time: 56 minutes / 56 minutes = 100%

• Set 3 again outperforming. This time, not even close to 8 PM.

• At 50 minutes, when the goal changed to finishing the chapter, I did feel it.

• Suddenly, every minute the chapter wasn’t finished hurt.

• The end of the set was also about my limit.

• After that, I crashed for about 2 hours. Gaming, smoking, masturbating.

• Then I got back to writing the blog.

• Still. Great sets and a lot of useful data.

Summary - 13.08.202

Set 1: 35 minutes / 39 minutes = 89%

• Break 1: 27 minutes

Set 2: 46 minutes / 49 minutes = 94%

• Break 2: 13 minutes

Set 3: 56 minutes / 56 minutes = 100%

Total Effective Work Time: 2 hours 17 minutes

Total Set Time: 2 hours 24 minutes

Average Work Time: 45 minutes 40 seconds

Average Set Efficiency: 94%

Overall Efficiency: 95%

Total Break Time: 40 minutes

Average Break Time: 20 minutes

Page Progress: 8

Book Progress: 1.10%

Closing Words

It’s so ironic how 2 hours a day could get 1% done.

I’ve been at this for almost a hundred days, and if I had kept this pace, I would have been finished by now.

Instead, I was pushing for more hours.

Now 2 hours are less exhausting and more productive.

I also realize how the breaks get un-proportionally longer with set time.

So maybe, a lot of short sets might be the trick.

I guess it’s like marathon training.

The first few times are gonna knock you out, but you come back with better conditioning every time.

This is what this is all about.

I am so happy about today.

5 Things That Made Me Happy Today

1. Smoking in the sun.

2. The trance-like feeling during the second set.

3. Good music.

4. Kept to my diet perfectly.

5. Editing went really well.

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I slept great.

Woke up early.

Which surprised me, because for months I had been trying to improve my sleep cycle.

But now that I improved my daily routine, my sleep cycle naturally adjusted.

Even timed my ADHD medication perfectly.

Workout

Starting Time: 2:47 PM

Pretty close to being on time.

Slightly misjudged what else I had to do before settling in for work.

But again, pretty close.

Set 1 - Starting Time: 2:47 PM

• 00:00 - Whole day, high anxiety.

  • But started work without thinking.

  • Simply slipping into the routine after my walk.

• 2:00 - Check ChatGPT for editing notes left to fix.

• 08:05 - Friend calls. Keep working during the call.

• 11:31 - Pausing set to have the call and preserve focus.

Review 1

Effective Work Time: 10 minutes / 11 minutes = 91%

• Shouldn’t have taken that call.

• That friend normally never has time, but recently her child started going to kindergarten, so she now calls me more during the day.

• That’s the problem with working from home. You don’t really feel like you are at work.

• But I need to set boundaries.

• Talking exhausts me more than almost anything else, and I can still feel it five hours later.

Break 1 - Start: 3:00 PM

1 hour 15 minutes

• Smoked a lot.

• Anxiety super high.

• Finally picked someone’s gift for their birthday. Took 40 minutes...

• Questioning if this is the moment the method starts failing.

Set 2 - Starting Time: 4:15 PM

• 00:50 - Almost started gaming by clicking on the wrong tab, but denied myself.

  • Realizing that writing things down highlights good thoughts and lets the brain choose good behavior.

• 03:17 - Resume work.

• 6:07 - Noticing my attention slip every time I switch between focused writing and reading.

• 8:22 - Going to look for a song. Annoyed that my attention keeps slipping.

• 10:53 - Impulse to stop.

• 12:43 - Caught myself reading Substack.

  • Read a comment praising me.

  • Immediately more motivated.

  • Song is perfect too.

• 15:26 - Checking out piano songs I could learn...

  • Phone call and gift mixed up all my priorities. Showed my system two bad behaviors that break routine.

• 25:00 - Want to resume work, but piano research is too gripping. Annoyed at myself. Anxiety rising.

• 31:00 - Back to work. Finished piano research. Perfect music back on.

• 42:00 - Music selection.

• 53:00 - Almost got distracted, but too tired to remember why I opened a new tab.

• 1:06:40 - Thinking about the third set, but don’t want to stop right now.

• 1:26:30 - Want a break badly. Chapter is about to finish, though.

• 1:28:15 - Decided to take a break.

Review 2

Effective Work Time: 1 hour 5 minutes / 1 hour 28 minutes = 74%

• You know what? This set felt really bad. Completely unfocused and annoying.

• But looking at the efficiency now, I realize it was perfectly fine. Most of the time was still used productively.

• Keeping the live blog during work might help me see such things earlier.

• The lesson is that negative moments feel very long, but they don’t necessarily ruin the set.

Break 2 - Start: 5:43 PM

1 hour 45 minutes

• Avoidance at maximum.

• Threw myself into bed.

• Masturbated three times.

• Smoking.

• Videos.

• Nap.

Set 3 - Starting Time: 7:28 PM

• 9:19 - Finished Chapter 41.

• 15:40 - Impulse to stop.

• 18:39 - High avoidance knowing there are tasks after work.

• 24:07 - Impulse to stop. Eight minutes until 8 PM.

• 27:22 - Impulse to stop.

• 31:51 - Pride and relief. 8 PM. Stop.

Review 3

Effective Work Time: 32 minutes / 32 minutes = 100%

• Set 3 is, as always, my best.

• That thought was even motivating me during the second set because I knew the third set would be good.

• I wonder why this set always works so well.

• Maybe having the time pressure of 8 PM closing in?

• Maybe that’s also why the avoidance impulses always pile up toward the end.

Summary - 12.08.2026

Set 1: 10 minutes / 11 minutes = 91%

• Break 1: 1 hour 15 minutes

Set 2: 1 hour 5 minutes / 1 hour 28 minutes = 74%

• Break 2: 1 hour 45 minutes

Set 3: 32 minutes / 32 minutes = 100%

Total Effective Work Time: 1 hour 47 minutes

Total Set Time: 2 hours 11 minutes

Average Work Time: 35 minutes 40 seconds

Average Set Efficiency: 88%

Overall Efficiency: 82%

Total Break Time: 3 hours

Average Break Time: 1 hour 30 minutes

Page Progress: 7 Pages.

Book progress: 1%

Closing Words

My head hurts.

The work wasn’t even exhausting.

Honestly, my avoidance behavior was what exhausted me.

Most of the time was spent in breaks with rising anxiety.

Also, I need to make it a habit to document during the workout.

Seeing that I am doing well helps keep me motivated.

By the way, the comment that motivated me was from Dino.

It reminded me that even if the sets feel like shit.

Even if they only amount to small amounts of time.

That is the training.

It can never become more time if I never train for that.

So right now, let those small improvements pile up and observe.

Also I need to make it a habit to document during the workout.

Seeing that I am doing good helps me keep motivated.

Btw the comment that motivated me was from

It reminded me that even if the sets feel like shit.

Even if they are small amounts of time.

That is the training.

It can never be more time, if I never train for that.

So right now, let those small improvements pile up and observe.

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Today I had group therapy, which was already super exhausting.

I don’t want to make any comments, but because I am constantly holding back, it’s costing me a lot of energy.

Right after I came home, we had visitors.

Finally noticed we had no milk, so I went shopping.

And now it’s 5:35 PM, and I am wondering if I should even start.

“I am tired.”

“You shouldn’t work while tired.”

“You need rest. Work tomorrow.”

But that’s not the experiment.

I refocused myself.

“I only have to show up, do my three sets, and observe.”

I have zero data points for this experiment when I work overtired.

No judgment.

Just train.

Workout

Starting Time: 5:39 PM

At first, I wanted to be hard on myself.

Then I realized that even my longest work time still fit within the time left until 8 PM.

Not that I have to work until then, but it just shows that my brain thinks:

More time available = worth it to work.

Little time available = not worth it.

When, in reality, 30 minutes here and there quickly add up.

Set 1 - Starting Time: 5:39 PM

• 00:40 - Seeing a wall of text immediately triggers avoidance.

• 4:26 - Calmness settles in, like I can turn off everything else.

• 5:20 - Urge to make a Substack post. Realized that this note will remind me later.

• 10:51 - Looking at my phone flicker, hoping someone will call.

• 15:12 - Impulse to stop.

• 19:32 - Expecting an impulse while stretching, but it’s absent.

• 22:00 - Impulse to stop.

• 37:37 - Willingness to stop.

Review 1

Effective Work Time: 34 minutes / 37 minutes = 91%

• You know what is really funny?

• Because I am so tired, I have trouble thinking.

• But because my biggest problem is overthinking, working becomes easier.

• The main problem would be focus, but my ADHD meds help with that.

Break 1 - Start: 6:17 PM

16 minutes

• Spent the break editing this blog. But I should also get some fresh air.

• So here I go.

• Cuddled my dog for good measure too.

• Anxious to get back to work.

Set 2 - Starting Time: 6:33 PM

• 00:05 - Didn’t realize I had already started again. Just finished the break notes.

• 3:30 - Happiness about the work moving along.

• 11:26 - Realized I had been working with focus for the last few minutes.

• 16:19 - Questioning when to stop. Should I go until 8 PM overall?

  • Let’s say 27:19 for a break. That’s 7 PM.

  • Wait. Should I be setting time goals?

  • No.

  • Do I want to stop right now?

  • Yes. Kinda. I am getting really tired, and there is one more set.

  • Alright. Break.

• 18:23 - Stop.

Review 2

Effective Work Time: 16 minutes / 18 minutes = 88%

• I have the focus, but I can feel that my body really wants rest.

• Which it will get after the last set.

• There was this silent expectation that I would keep going until 8 PM.

• But any focused work costs twice as much right now.

• I am happy I noticed I was pushing for more time instead of simply checking in.

Break 2 - Start: 6:52 PM

35 minutes

• Kind of immediately want to start the next set just to get it over with.

• I sometimes do that in the gym as well, where I will do two sets in one go just so I don’t have to pick up the weights again.

• It would be more disciplined to take a break.

• I guess this is a lesson that applies to both kinds of training.

• I’ll play a round of games and stretch, then get back.

Set 3 - Starting Time: 7:27 PM

• 7:08 - Impulse to stop.

  • Slight sadness.

  • Want to reach 8 PM.

  • Should I?

  • Doesn’t matter.

  • Do I still feel like working?

  • Yes.

• 9:50 - Handing Chapter over to ChatGPT for editing notes.

• 11:47 - Glazing over while reading ChatGPT editing notes.

• 24:19 - Checking the time, seeing how close I am to 8 PM.

• 33:02 - 8 PM. Feel kinda relieved.

Review 3

Effective Work Time: 31 minutes / 33 minutes = 93%

• Hm. I don’t know how to feel about that urge to reach 8 PM.

• But my inner child seems to agree with it.

• Kinda feels like I gave it my all. Not burned out, but like I used the whole training day.

• Every time I switch tasks, I notice how my reflex is to stop altogether.

• But with routine, transitioning becomes easier.

Summary - 11.08.2026

Set 1: 34 minutes / 37 minutes = 91%

• Break 1: 16 minutes

Set 2: 16 minutes / 18 minutes = 88%

• Break 2: 35 minutes

Set 3: 31 minutes / 33 minutes = 93%

Total Effective Work Time: 1 hour 21 minutes

Total Workout Time: 1 hour 29 minutes

Average Work Time: 27 minutes

Average Set Efficiency: 91%

Overall Efficiency: 91%

Average Break Time: 25 minutes 30 seconds

Page Progress: 0 Pages.

Book progress: 0%

Only fully finished Chapters increase this number.

Closing Words

I feel exhausted.

But!

Not hollow or burned out.

I consistently decided if I wanted to keep working or not and respected both choices.

Overall, going in with low expectations I am surprised how much work was actually getting done.

Workout finished.

Want the day to end.

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Started Kinda on Time

Had an appointment in the morning, which meant I got only 5 hours of sleep.

Which made me think that I might need to sleep during the day.

Gotta be rested to work, right?

But what would I do if it was the gym?

I would simply go, and if it’s a day where I can’t lift much, then that’s what it is.

Fuck It, We Are Doing It Live

I wanted the experience to feel more immersive.

But I didn’t know how I could show what I think before and after work.

2 blogs a day would be way too much.

Then I realized.

How about I just write the first part before and finish it off after?

Pre-Workout

Bit nervous.

What if it doesn’t work out?

Will this system work for a long time, or is it just going to work for 2 days again?

What would I do for the gym?

Wouldn’t really think about how it works, to be honest.

The hardest part about the gym is going.

When you are there, it’s quite hard to ignore the opportunity to train.

I guess, then I already did it?

Congrats, me!

Everything from here on is the training.

And the essence of training is allowing errors without consequences.

Or, more modern:

Just fuck around and find out.

Workout

Starting Time: 2:50 PM

I was just about to write down, “50 minutes late.”

But I don’t care if I am late to the gym.

Do I have enough time for any kind of workout?

Yes?

Then I am good.

Does this hurt to write?

Yes.

With every fiber, I want to correct those 50 minutes on the next try.

But with the gym, I would just allow my life to adapt around it.

So, letting it go.

Go train.

Set 1 Starting stopwatch at 2:51 PM 3:02 PM.

• 14:16 - Angry. Still distracted, thinking, just 1 more scroll or post.

• 36:30 - Still distracted. Maybe smoked too much? More ADHD meds? Stop set?

• 45:25 - Talking to Cicero on ChatGPT about my biggest weaknesses. Overthinking coupled with inaction. Duh. Started work.

• 48:57 - Feeling at ease. Settling down.

• 1:08:35 - Impulse to stop. Nitpicky rewrite needed for a small paragraph.

• 1:20:00 - Friend called me. Had really deep focus. Sadly, work broke off.

Review 1

Effective Time: 32 minutes / 1 hour 20 minutes = 40%

• Well. Distraction is still high. But my coping mechanism isn’t gonna just disappear.

• If this was the gym and I did a repetition wonky, I would just keep going, knowing that as the muscle grows, the movement becomes more stable.

• The call at the end was a distraction I could have avoided.

• I need to remind myself that starting means reading a single sentence. Not waiting for a feeling.

Break 1 - 4:22 PM

1 hour 28 minutes

• Call with friend.

• Went to buy protein bars.

• Thought about just stopping altogether.

• Questioning if this is even a break anymore.

• Decided to keep going and just do the sets.

• Stop when it starts being too much.

Set 2 - Starting Stopwatch at 5:50 PM

• 14:04 - Laptop battery ran out.

• 17:23 - Remembering I need to buy a gift and, of course, need to check it right now.

• 26:40 - Back to work.

• 28:25 - Impulse to stop.

• 30:41 - Finished Chapter 39.

• 36:52 - Finished Chapter 40. Stopping because it’s a good point after checking off 2 chapters.

Review 2

Effective Time: 26 minutes / 36 minutes = 72%

• The 2nd set was noticeably calmer and more focused.

• Maybe I just need time to warm up?

• Well, doesn’t really matter.

• I just need to show up anyway.

Break 2 - 6:26 PM

25 minutes

• Felt ready to work again after 25 minutes of gaming.

• Realizing that pauses right now tend to be about as long as the work time.

• I don’t yet know if that is a coincidence or just my limit right now.

Set 3 - Starting Stopwatch at 7:07 PM

• 7:38 - Impulse to stop. Annoying sentence cleanup.

• 31:56 - Impulse to stop.

• 37:43 - Another impulse to stop. Willing to rest, but 8 PM is close.

• 50:07 - Impulse to stop. 2 minutes left.

• 52:47 - Trailed off into ChatGPT.

Review 3

Effective Time: 49 minutes / 53 minutes = 92%

• 3rd set went very well.

• Interestingly, the more focused I am, the more impulses to stop I get.

• While being distracted makes me feel angry at myself.

• My body actually experiences working as dangerous.

Summary - 10.08.2026

Set 1: 32 minutes / 1 hour 20 minutes = 40%

• Break 1: 1 hour 28 minutes

Set 2: 26 minutes / 36 minutes = 72%

• Break 2: 25 minutes

Set 3: 49 minutes / 53 minutes = 92%

Total Effective Work Time: 1 hour 47 minutes

Total Set Time: 2 hours 49 minutes

Average Work Time: 35 minutes 40 seconds

Average Set Efficiency: 68%

Overall Efficiency: 63%

Average Break Time: 56 minutes 30 seconds

Book Progress: 5 pages

Percentage Progress: 0.72%

Closing Words

It’s fascinating to me that this works.

I literally write down:

“Do Chapter 38, 39.”

And I don’t work at all, even for days.

But now, every time I get an impulse to stop, I check in with myself and write it down.

Somehow, that makes the pain less sharp.

There is no thought spiral about which is better, stopping or continuing despite the resistance.

The blogs are a bit dry.

But considering these blogs will go on until I am 70, 21 days of this is only a blip.

I think it’s super interesting.

Anyway, good workout today.

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