No longer was I the girl who had been flying her whole life and was completely unfazed by some bumps in the sky. Nope. I was now the girl whose heart rate sped up when a plane flew overhead. The girl who obsessively checked the weather whenever she had a flight coming up. The girl who got clammy and sweaty and buzzy as she boarded the flight. And the girl who had a death grip on the headrest in front of her as she tried not to have a panic attack pretty much the whole flight. NOT. FUN.

I’ve been to therapy over it and done a couple EMDR sessions with my counselor, which have helped tremendously, but the fear and anxiety were stubborn. And they ramped up when I booked a flight to my cousin’s wedding in Montana this summer and had to go through Denver to get there.

I was nervous about it for weeks before. Thought about it daily and tried not to think about it and thought about it some more. Finally one night, I Googled: Is there turbulence flying into Billings, MT?

“Yes, flying into Billings, Montana can sometimes be bumpy because the area is prone to mountain wave turbulence and gusty winds.”

Cool cool.

And again: Is there turbulence flying into Denver, CO?

“Denver ranks among the most turbulent major airports in the United States, and several routes into DEN are ranked as the bumpiest in North America.”

Well, alrighty then.

As you can imagine, I was not thrilled. But I was also determined to make it to this wedding and conquer this fear. Thus began the Reddit rabbit trail. And what I came out the other side with turned into a mantra that really turned things around for me.

The plane is made for this. The pilot is in control.

The plane is made for this.

The pilot is in control.

The plane is made for this. The pilot is in control.

Huh.

Revolutionary to me because the perceived lack of control is where my fear came from. The not knowing when the turbulence was going to hit and how long it was going to last.

The fact that we were 30,000 feet up and could potentially free fall for-seemingly-ever. And the fact that turbulence makes it feel like the plane is completely out of control and at the whim and mercy of the wind, no matter how seasoned the pilot and crew.

But none of that is true. The truth is…

The plane is made for this. The pilot is in control.

Even when to me it seems the plane is on the verge of falling apart and the person flying has no control over what’s happening.

The plane is made for this. The pilot is in control.

Cut to me on the planes over the weekend that straddled July and August… There was a decent amount of turbulence into and out of Denver and Billings, both getting there and flying home. But I put one hand on my heart and one had on my belly (thinking there was only one little buddy in there at the time!) and repeated those sentences to myself over and over and over again. And you know what? My hands were a little sweaty… I still didn’t love the turbulence… but I didn’t feel on the verge of a panic attack.

The truth is, the turbulence lasted maybe four minutes at a time. And it was bumpy, but there weren’t any free falls. And since then, the sight of planes does nothing to my nervous system — hallelujah! I also have a flight booked for November, and I don’t feel nervous about it. I’m not obsessing or ruminating, and that feels like such a gift. A gift that comes from knowing the truth.

The plane is made for this. The pilot is in control.

And so it is with us.

I was made for this. God is in control.

By the grace of God, we were uniquely designed for our stories, our circumstances, our lives and all they entail.

We’ll dig more into this next week, but I want to leave you with this today: You were made for this, friend. Whatever your THIS is. You were made for this time, this family, this situation, this hardship, this victory.

You were made for THIS by the One who is in control and loves you completely.

Keeping it short and sweet this week and answering the three most common questions we’ve gotten as we’ve shared the news over the last month.

Stick with Jesus, y’all.

ps. As promised, the pod on hearing from God.

Skip to 6:30 for perhaps the most fun question I’ve ever been asked — NO MA’AM, WE DID NOT KNOW THERE WERE TWO BABIES — but hopefully you’ll listen to the whole 17 minutes and be encouraged to believe the stone-cold-truth that God is the God of abundance.

Suffering and pain and deaths of all kinds are inevitable, but they are not the end of the story.

ps. Back next week with answers to the questions we’ve been asked the most — hopefully no more surprises, but at this point, anything is possible.

Listen in for part one, and come back next week for part TWO.

ps. As promised, the link to the podcast episode I can’t get enough of.

I hope your summer has been full and fun and restful and joyful; and if it’s been none of those things, I hope you know that’s just fine too. Seasons, right??

It’s been a downright W-I-L-D one over here. More on that next week; but for now, picture me popping around the doorframe of your life, giving a smile and a little wave, and just reminding you that you can start expecting fresh podcasts and posts again. (Every Thursday at 6:37am to be exact.)

I’ve been big on mantras this summer. Simple truths to give me perspective and ground me when I’m feeling… angry, anxious, confused, sad, etc. I have specific ones for specific feelings and circumstances, but I’ll leave you with one that helps in pretty much all of them.

Here’s to a smooth and extended on-ramp to this new season, friends. Excited to continue the journey with you.

BUT FIRST! Some TAJOR Housekeeping. (TAJOR = The Asha June, Oh! Report; do we like the abbreviation??)

I’m excited to announce that book number TWO is in the works! And I’m taking the summer to write my fingers off. Which means a break from new posts and pods here. (But there is a whole archive to dig through if you’re looking for a weekly dose of wonder, connection, and hope!)

I hope your summer is full of rest and fun and afternoon naps and belly laughs.

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming…

Like every topic in our Intended Design series, this is such a huge conversation — with so much history and so many layers. So today, I’m simply sharing my story with you — one perspective, one peak behind the curtain, of this vast and important issue.

This is my journey into shame and my journey out of it and into freedom.

First, go listen to me fumble and ramble my way through this sensitive subject.

Second, come back here and work your way through what I think are the top 10 podcasts from Francie’s collection. (But I have no doubt that once you devour these, you’ll be hungry for all of them.)

1. Episode 236 - A Fresh Chapter: Female by Design

2. Episode 186 - Called to Pleasure: Rest, Arousal, Sensuality and Female Design

3. Episode 164 - From Purity Culture to Pure Pleasure

4. Episode 92 - Pleasure series part 1

5. Episode 93 - Pleasure series part 2

6. Episode 94 - Pleasure series part 3

7. Episode 95 - Pleasure series part 4

8. Episode 167 - Reframe Conversation: Masturbation

9. Episode 111 - Your wonderful female body: Orgasm part 1

10. Episode 113 - Your wonderful female body: Orgasm part 2

ps. This conversation is just getting started! There is a stirring in my heart to do some sort of deep dive Bible study in collaboration with Francie — Francie, if you’re reading or listening, let’s chat!

Knowledge can be a great gift, but knowledge itself is not what sets us free. Knowledge of truth is what sets us free.

“…you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” // John 8:32

Here’s to deep breaths, long walks, lots of water, and lots of sleep. (Yes, even in the midst of Maycember.)

And while you must be a woman to be a mother, you absolutely do not have to be a mother to be a woman.

And with that, I invite you to press play.

ps. As promised, here’s the website I use that links each word in the Bible to the original word and definition. (It’s the “Strong’s NASB” version from the far-right dropdown at the top of the page.)

pps. Some of the insight in this podcast came from this Instagram post.

This is simply 12 minutes of me sharing a real experience from my very real life. Because that’s who faith was designed for — not infallible robots in a simulation but real people in the real world.

(Side note: getting a tattoo with my mother-in-law and brother-in-law is one of my most fun memories.)

ps. I referred to Jake’s cousin as a “former” Navy SEAL in the pod, and I apologize if that’s the wrong way to word it. I’m guessing once-a-SEAL-always-a-SEAL applies here, but I just meant that he isn’t currently working as a SEAL at this time. We are so very grateful for his sacrifice and service!

Seventeen years ago, God spoke to my heart through two little slips of paper. Listen in for all the details.

I couldn’t make these up if I tried, my friends…

This is the finished project — I’m honored I got to tell Judy’s story.

And just for fun — I dug through an old hard drive to find a couple snapshots of us in the spring of 2009…

I keep thinking about one such thing Jesus said that was recorded in three of the Gospels. It came to mind earlier this week when I was scrolling Instagram stories and saw a deeply disturbing AI image — a man (specifically one of the most powerful men in the world) portraying himself as Jesus.

And listen, if you’re not a follower of Jesus, you may have seen it, chuckled/rolled your eyes/felt confused or a combination of the three, and then just moved on. But as a person who knows and loves the TRUE Jesus, it stopped me in my tracks in the worst way. It was one of those skin-prickling-instantly-nauseous moments. A what-the-heck-am-I-looking-at? situation.

Leaders have power. That’s kind of the point, right? And as Spider-Man’s Uncle Ben says: With great power comes great responsibility. (He was for sure paraphrasing Jesus and the early Church leaders.)

Being a leader is a big deal. And (in my opinion) being a leader who points people to Jesus (or claims to point people to Jesus) is the biggest deal. (Again, paraphrasing Jesus here.)

Because leading people to Jesus — the TRUE Jesus — is everything. A relationship with Jesus means creation reconciled to Creator. Life as God intended. A fruitful and free life. True joy, hope, peace, and love.

And life apart from the true Jesus is the opposite. Which is why Jesus takes it very seriously when leaders who claim to know him point people to a false picture of him. Jesus takes it very seriously when people in positions of power use that power to pull eyes and hearts and minds away from who he really is.

Matthew, Mark, and Luke tell us just how seriously…

I know those statements are so intense. And I want you to know that I’m not making some political statement about what I think should happen to the man who posted that image because I am absolutely not. I’m actually not talking about politics or policy at all.

I’m sharing Jesus’ words to remind myself and all of us how intense Jesus was about not leading others away from him. How intensely he felt about leaders using their influence to point people to a false “Jesus” — to a “Jesus” who would do no one, no good.

Jesus is so good, y’all. Jesus is the creator of goodness and everything good. Jesus is everything good. The true Jesus is everything good. And a relationship with the true Jesus leads to the best life.

I will most certainly get it wrong, but I promise I will do everything in my power to use any power I have to point to the TRUE Jesus.

Inspired by ’ honest and heartfelt post: “i’ve been talking to God a lot lately”

I’ve been so eager to record and release this conversation, friends. I hope this truth meets you right where you are and moves you toward the One from whom you were made and for whom you were made.

Our souls all long for the same thing, but our journeys to faith and our journeys through faith will all be different.

Happiest Holy Week to you and yours.

This has been one of those weeks where I’ve had to remind myself before bed to take some deep breaths because I haven’t done so all day. Just one of those weeks where my mental load feels heavier than an elephant on top of a dump truck on top of a… I’m really trying to think of something clever here, but it’s not happening, so I’ll just stop and assume you get my point.

Everything feels urgent and important and necessary - revising our budget, researching the best supplements, meal-planning and lunch-packing and exercising and teaching my child kindness and respect and reading and organizing closets and picking up toys and walking the dog and writing and laundry and keeping up with everyone and everything all at once and perfectly.

The list is always there, right? But some weeks, it feels less loud.

Our mental loads come from the fact that everything in this world requires maintenance. Our bodies, our homes, our families, our relationships, our work, our hobbies, everything. There is constant upkeep in this world. Never-ending maintenance means never-smaller mental loads.

For me, never-ending translates to never enough. That thought feels as steady as my heartbeat some days. Never enough, never enough, never enough. I’m not enough. What I’m doing is not enough. I will never be or do enough.

And the truth is, there will always be more to do. We could always be doing more and more and more and more, in every area of life. Never-ending maintenance, right? There’s always more to be done and always will be.

So what do we do? Do we let that steady beat of never enough, never enough, never enough drive our days and steal our joy and suck our souls dry until we just dissolve into dust? I mean, I guess we could, but let’s pinky-promise not to let one another do that, ok?

What’s the alternative, then?

We stop.

Not forever and not in a way that forsakes all responsibility or leaves our loved ones feeling abandoned and neglected. But we stop for a day and in a way that allows us to look at our responsibilities with fresh perspective and at our loved ones with fresh gratitude.

We stop in a way that allows us to feel wonder, foster connection, and be filled with hope. Not because everything is done but because it never will be, and we are meant to find freedom in that truth.

We stop to rest and rejoice in what is, instead of ruminating on what isn’t.

In Mo Willems book, Time to Pee! (which I’ll never not be able to recite from memory because of the countless times I read it to my toddler on the potty last summer), he writes: “Everything will still be right where it was.”

(Which is maybe a more comforting truth to a kid returning to make believe than a grown-up returning to maintenance, but the truth remains.)

And you know, the more I think about it, stopping to rest is actually a lot like stopping for a potty break. It’s about paying attention to our bodies, listening to our bodies, and honoring our bodies by giving them what they need. Our bodies are not shy. Our bodies ask for what we need; but we have to pay attention, listen, and respond.

I know my body is begging for rest when my mental load feels heavier than an elephant on top of a dump truck on top of a… boatload of bowling balls (??? - still taking suggestions for a better ending to that list), when the steady beat of never enough, never enough, never enough is deafening and disorienting.

And just like taking a potty break actually makes the play more fun when you come back (because you’re not distracted and dancing around and doing everything to ignore your body’s not-so-subtle ask), stopping to rest actually makes the maintenance more enjoyable when you come back too.

Ignoring our bodies’ need to rest is like ignoring our bodies’ need to pee.

We can’t hold it in forever. We can’t hold everything all the time. We’ve got to let it out. We’ve got to let it go. And the relief of rest will make our loads feel much lighter when we do pick them up again.

I can step away and stop for a day. You can step away and stop for a day. We can choose to pay attention, listen, and respond. We can choose to stop and rest.

We can rest and rejoice in what is, instead of ruminating on what isn’t.

Everything will still be right where it was. And if not, that’s ok too.

I chose this topic because it’s always been a sticky spot for me, and I desperately wanted to experience some sort of breakthrough in this area. (And if not a breakthrough, I would have happily settled for just not being scared of it.)

I’ve been wrestling with hearing from God for decades; and I’m here today to tell you that while I’m certainly not an expert, the past few months have absolutely been a turning point1.

I sure hope you’ll listen in today, friends. Perhaps this could be the start of a turning point for you too.

I’ve got that feeling that I’m right where I’m supposed to be, doing just what I’m supposed to be doing, you know? It hasn’t always been this way, and I’m sure there will be seasons when it won’t be again.

But for now, I’m relishing in the truth that choosing daily to abide with Jesus really does lead to freedom and to fruitfulness.

When we choose to abide with Jesus, we will become who we were made to be. I can say it with full confidence because I’m living it right now.

I’m so excited for you to listen in (or watch!), and I pray that no matter how many times you’ve heard these verses, this truth will fall fresh on your ears and your heart today.

It’s a collaborative book project BY women, ABOUT women, and FOR women; and I had the great joy and honor of writing the last chapter — the exclamation point!

I’m very excited for you to hear this conversation with the book’s visionary, . This conversation is about the book, yes; but it’s just as much about having a dream and sticking with it through delay and disappointment and doubt.

Sometimes it’s about doing it afraid.

The Other Disciples: Conversations About The Twelve Named Women Jesus Called to Follow Him is available now on Amazon.

ps. The Other Disciples is under the umbrella of an incredible new ministry by women, about women, and for women called… Also Called. You can follow along for updates and tons of encouraging content here on Substack, Facebook, Instagram, Youtube, Pinterest, and wherever you listen to podcasts.

And before you listen to this and think, that would never happen to me, I encourage you to try it.

Pray the prayer. Say the words, snark and all. And prepare to be pursued.

ps.

pps. The book I mentioned is How to Hear God: A Simple God for Normal People by Pete Greig — SO. GOOD.