Ironically, it’s cooling down slightly here in the north just as school is breaking up for the actual summer holidays.

In Texas, we’re never short of sunny, hot days. On the flip side, it’s exciting when there’s rain or a thunderstorm. Here in England, the opposite is true. We all get a little giddy when a warm, sunny forecast appears because it’s never something you can take for granted.

All of this has taught me something.

While this has been the warmest summer since I moved here four years ago, living in England has taught me to appreciate a season that doesn’t last forever.

Summer feels fleeting here, and somehow that makes it more special.

Here are a few of the things I’ve been enjoying lately.

Park picnics

We’re at the park often anyway, but summer is an excuse to make it feel like an occasion.

A blanket, a few snacks, and an ordinary afternoon feels a little more special.

When the weather has been this beautiful, I have to remind myself that it won’t last forever. That’s probably the biggest difference I’ve noticed since moving here. You can’t wait for the perfect day because you know there might not be another one for a while.

Our go-to picnic snacks:

• Crisps

• Nakd bars

• Apples

• Crackers

• Grapes

• Olives

• Sausage rolls

• And, of course, ice cream.

Flowers

The gardens around here are gorgeous all year, but lately I’ve been noticing the peonies in particular.

Texas certainly has beautiful flowers too, but nowhere near the variety of blooms you see across England. The climate back home is better suited for more drought-tolerant plants, whereas here, everything seems to flourish.

One of my favourite things is visiting our local nursery whenever we want to add something to the garden. It’s great to support local.

Wild swimming

There are so many wild swimming spots around us.

I’m not sure what it’s like in the south of England, but up here there seem to be endless options. Of course, there are always the popular spots, but if you’re willing to explore a little, there are so many hidden gems waiting to be discovered.

Summer makes me feel like there are endless possibilities here, and I really love that feeling.

There’s something about knowing the season is short that makes you want to make the most of every sunny day. Although... there is a fine balance. Sometimes that pressure to “make the most of it” can take the fun away if you’re not careful.

I’m hoping to discover even more swimming spots with the kids over the next few summers. We sell a book in the bookshop called Wild Swimming that has pages and pages of places I’d love to visit.

Eating in the garden

One of the things I’m most excited about in our new house is the garden.

I keep imagining outdoor dinners, fairy lights, and long evenings outside. I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing when it comes to garden design, but I do know I want to create a space where we naturally spend more time outdoors.

I have a feeling this garden will be a “learn as we go” project. We’ll move things, change our minds, plant something in the wrong place, and figure it out along the way. I think that’s part of the fun.

And if you’re in the market for outdoor dining bits, I highly recommend looking on Vinted for linen tablecloths and decorations. There’s always really cool stuff.

Open windows

I love this one.

In Texas, it’s usually too hot to have the windows open for long. Here, opening every window and the back door has become one of my favourite parts of summer.

Fresh air fills the house and the kids and dogs can come and go as they please.

Yes, the flies can be annoying... but I suppose that’s part of summer too.

Things I love - round up

Reading
The Homemade God by Rachel Joyce: Perfect summer book.

Eating
Blackberries straight off the bush.

Packing for picnics
Olives, rosemary crackers, vegan cheese, and fresh focaccia from the bakery.

Go out
Our local wild swimming spot. The kids are absolutely loving it.

Noticing
All the beautiful summer dresses everyone is wearing. There’s something about British summers that makes people embrace colour and linen, and I love seeing it.

That’s all from me!

I hope your summer is just as you want it to be.

Until next time,

Ashley

We have always rented so this is a pretty big deal.

We’ve lived in England for four years now, but this was the first time we’d moved house here, and, unsurprisingly, it was a little different than if we’d been back in Texas.

We had family who helped the entire way through, for starters, and the hired truck was more like a big moving van and not like the giant trucks I grew up seeing in Texas. Little things like these still catch my attention.

It’s those subtle differences that happen randomly in my life that remind me I live in the UK and they’re the reason I started sharing my life online in the first place.

I find it oddly comforting sharing the differences I encounter. So many of you notice them too, whether you've moved abroad yourself or you've simply never thought about how differently another country does something. It’s good to share and I love talking about them : )

What The Mossy Cactus has become

When I first started posting and sharing my life online, I didn’t really know what I was doing.

In some post I was looking for reassurance and validation, like, “this is different and strange… right?”, other times I wanted to express how grateful I am to live here.

The stress of moving countries is real, and I never want to take for granted living in the UK (that’s not to say it’s perfect! We all know there’s room for improvement).

Overtime, The Mossy Cactus (aka me!) has turned into something more and I’m getting a clearer vision of that:

It’s become a place where I share the life we’re building in Britain.

The places we discover.

The home we’re creating (both literally and figuratively!).

The moments that make living abroad so fascinating to me.

And, most importantly, it’s become a place to connect with people who have done the same, hope to one day, or simply enjoy seeing Britain through someone else’s eyes.

More than anything, it’s become a community.

I lean on this community more than you probably realise, and I hope you’ve found value here too.

I wasn’t expecting this to be the outcome, but I’m grateful for what is has become and what it will grow into!

What you can expect

I’ll continually touch on cultural observations and differences, as this is what brought many of you here (my recent video about British sandwiches has almost 3 million views-what?!). So that just stands to show its a point of interest for many people!

But I want to go deeper than compiled lists of “10 Things I Noticed About British Schools.”

I want to tell the stories behind those observations. The moments and observations that lead to those list, the unexpected similarities, the traditions I’ve grown to love, and the things I still don’t think I’ll ever completely understand.

You’ll also see plenty from our first home.

I’ll continue embracing British weather and seasonal living too, along with more day trips, weekends away, family adventures, and exploring more of this amazing island!

One of the biggest reasons we moved here was to experience more of Britain’s history and landscapes, and hopefully before too long we’ll make it across to mainland Europe as well.

And, of course, you’ll find wardrobe updates as I continue to figure out what it is to dress appropriate for the ever-changing weather here and find my confidence through great pieces.

Subscribe now

A New Chapter

This felt like the right time to come back to writing.

We’re now in the new house. We’re slowly getting settled and it feels like we’re no longer adjusting to life here but building one. The roots can finally take place.

I feel a shift happening in my life, my writing, and the stories I want to tell.

And if any of this sounds interesting, I’m so happy you’re here.

The creative outlet these platforms have given me has been such a supporter for my mental health and the community (you!) has made me feel more at home long before the house ever did.

So thank you for that.

I hope the Mossy Cactus becomes a place where it feels like sitting down with a friend, swapping stories, and finding the beauty in the everyday things. A place to share your thoughts and observations and we can talk about it!

The Mossy Cactus has turned into a reflection on building a life in Britain.

Whether that’s through building a new home, travel, style, enjoying the seasons, or sharing everyday cultural observations; it’s what has made living abroad so fascinating to me.

If you’re curious about what living in Britain looks like through fresh eyes, if you’re planning a move abroad yourself, or just want to be a part of the community, I do hope you feel at home here and follow along.

Until next time,

I’d love to know something you’ve noticed this week.

Ashley x

🌵

Not the best timing, as we had just paid for an applied for his US citizenship. But hey.

He agreed. Having a 2 year old and a new baby had me envisioning a different life for us. What I saw in our future in Texas wasn’t the one I thought it would be. So I envisioned a NEW future, one I thought would give us a better life.

You don’t just move countries

You cannot just wake up one morning and decide to move to a new country. You have to apply and be accepted.

For the UK, that meant choosing the right visa route:

• Spousal visa (mine)

• Family ties

• Skilled worker visa

We went with the spousal visa, while also sorting British passports for our kids (thankfully, the easiest part of this whole process).

My application was… less straightforward.

The plan

I applied in November 2021.

We paid extra for a priority decision (around 8 weeks instead of the standard amount of time, I cannot remember what the going rate was for that time but it was pushing it too close to comfort for us, so we decided to expedite the decision).

It felt worth it at the time because everything else depended on it.

Part of the application asks when you plan to move.

We put 20th of April 2022.

Which meant, if approved, that was our window. We would have 90 days to move after that.

So we built our entire timeline around that one date.

When things started slipping…

In January, instead of a decision, we got a request for more evidence.

Not ideal, but manageable. We were expecting the email to hold out decision, as it had been about 8 weeks at that point. But we thought, “ah, just one last hurdle, and then the decision will be made, no big deal”

We sent everything back within 48 hours and got confirmation it had been received.

So we carried on waiting.

The risk we took…

At the same time, we had to decide what to do about our apartment.

Either:

• sign another lease (no way)

• or give notice and trust the visa would come through

We chose to trust the process.

On February 14th, we handed in our 60 day notice.

Our move-out date: April 20th.

The same day we planned to leave the country! Pretty proud of ourselves for having timed it so perfectly.

But the universe had other plans!

The part where it unraveled…

A week later, (more than a month after we sent the evidence they requested) we got an email saying they hadn’t received our documents.

Um, what?

Except… they had.

We had proof. Confirmation codes. Everything.

We sent it all again, and the next day they replied:

“Oh yes, here it is.”

No real explanation…no apologies, just a new timeline.

They said my visa was being escalated and to give it 15 working days. And a request not to contact them.

Waiting, and paying to wait…

By mid-March, we still hadn’t heard anything. So we emailed for an update.

And learned that each email cost £3.50.

Their response was essentially:

“It’s being processed. We cannot give you an update on your application”. Which was very frustrating as were trying to explain how our case has been mismanaged.

When it went beyond us

By late March, we were getting pretty desperate, and we filed a formal complaint.

Around the same time, visa priorities shifted globally due to the situation in Ukraine.

Completely understandably, other applications (including ours) were paused.

But it left us in a difficult position.

We had:

• given notice on our home

• needing to find a new home in the UK

• flights booked

• and our passports held by the visa office

We couldn’t stay, and we couldn’t leave.

Trying everything

At that point, it was the 30th of March, and we reached out to the MP in the area we were moving to. Reddit came through with this very helpful recommendation!

She responded quickly and contacted UKVI on our behalf.

It was the first time the situation felt like it might move forward again.

The final stretch

On April 4th, we received an email saying that a decision had been made!

But no details… just that we’d hear within 10 working days.

Our flight was April 20th.

So we anxiously waited!

And somehow, it worked

At the last possible moment, my visa was approved.

Passports returned. Bags packed. Everything ready just in time.

Looking back now, it feels crazy how much rested on a handful of emails and those timelines.

Moving countries is often framed as exciting (and it is!) but there’s a admin side to it too that can wreck you if your not careful!

A lot of waiting. A lot of uncertainty. Anxiety. And hope!

I’m so happy to be here.

Until next time,

Ashley

The Mossy Cactus

• What’s New: House news coming sooooon!

• Currently watching: Starting The Testaments! and rewatching Peaky Blinders.

• Currently reading:

  • Demon Copperhead (still!) (paperback)

  • Avlon Tower (kindle)

  • Half His Age (audio)

A brit walked into a bar…no but really ; )

I met my husband in Austin, Texas. We had mutual friends, and he was in the Texas for three months after quitting his job in London to travel. He kept coming into the restaurant where I worked as a server and bartender, mostly because that’s where our friends worked too and we just…hit it off.

We went out almost every day. Drinks after a shift, or lunch, breakfast sometimes, and live music (SXSW festival was on during his stay). Occasionally we’d stay in for pizza and a movie just to recover from all the socializing. I can honestly say this was the best time of my adult life.

Then he had to go back to the UK…and he ended things. (I know!)

He told me he’d seen long-distance relationships fail too many times. I didn’t agree (nor had I known any to be fair!), but I respected his decision and dropped him at the airport with a heavy heart.

A week later, while he was in Canada visiting friends and family (a side quest he had planned), guess who broke the no texting rule and messaged me? Yep.

We started talking again, and one of our friends joked that I should just fly out to see him. I mentioned it to him, and he said, “Yeah, why not?”

So I went.

Toronto-the city of love?

I’d never been to Canada before, so if anything, I’d get to say I’d been to Canada at least once in my life, but it was there that we decided to try long distance and give it a good go. We Skyped (yes, it was an age ago!) each others families and introduced each other. Cute huh?

After two years of back and forth, six weeks apart, sometimes three months, we got engaged on a hot summer day while camping in the Texas Hill Country. Awww….(he also thought I was breaking up with him on this trip- poor guy was so nervous he became delusional! ) That can be a story for another time though.

Right.

This next part I’m calling:

America has issues…

Then came the visa process for him to move to the US.

The fiance visa is intense. Detailed. You basically must prove your relationship is real. You must show photos, messages, emails, flight records…everything. I called these our “receipts of love.” It’s all placed in a binder, with dividers and sent off to the government to review. It’s a weird thing to do if I’m being honest!

Once approved, you have 90 days to get married. After that, you apply for a green card. And while you’re waiting?

You can’t leave the country.
You can’t work.

His process took 17 months.

It was hard. I was working two jobs while going to school, trying to support both of us. Meanwhile, in the UK, once you have a visa, you can work almost immediately. I never understood why the US wouldn’t want people contributing…but I don’t make the rules.

That was our first major struggle.

And honestly, it never really got easier.

We didn’t have health insurance for a long time. Neither of our jobs offered it, and this was before the Affordable Care Act made things even slightly more accessible.

When I got pregnant, we had to get insurance, but it nearly broke us financially.

We were paying $500–$700 a month, depending on income. And that’s just the baseline.

Because insurance doesn’t mean things are covered.

You still pay for every appointment. $25 to $50 each time in our case.
Then you get bills afterward. Random amounts from the various test and procedures.
Ultrasounds, blood tests, screenings…you never really know what’s coming.

It felt constant.

Then came my first C-section.

Even after insurance paid their portion, we were still billed—separately—for everything. Including two anaesthesiologists: one for me, one for the baby.

Out of network.

Not covered.

One of those bills alone was $5,000.

We set up payment plans while still paying monthly insurance, plus all the smaller bills that kept arriving. Again, $30 here, $160 there, $220 etc. They didn’t stop and the bills were piling up!

That was the moment I felt like we were drowning.

Then it happened again.

Another C-section, this time my daughter, while we were still paying off the first.
And then an emergency room visit when our daughter got RSV.

That’s when we were felt so defeated.

I started thinking about what life could look like in the UK.

I knew there was the NHS. I knew healthcare wouldn’t come with constant financial anxiety. I knew my husband’s family was close, I learned that children could start nursery at three, with 30 hours of childcare support.

It all felt so fair and reasonable. And we didn’t see that happening for us in Texas.

One day, while driving in the car, I said to my husband:

“I think we should seriously consider moving to England.”

And he agreed.

So, we started the process all over again.

This time for me!

And that too almost took us down, BUT we were highly motivated.

The visa and issues we encounter nearly gave us both a nervous breakdown, but that story will be told in part 2.

Until next time,

Ashley

The Mossy Cactus

• Currently watching: The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives Season 4 and Mummys Flippin’ House Youtube (Caroline Parker)

• Currently reading:

  • Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver (paperback)

  • Avlon Tower by CN Crawford and Alex Rivers (kindle)

  • Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke (audio)

On Tuesday, I ate a sausage roll and a Tony’s sea salt and almond chocolate bar in the sunshine on my lunch break. Peak British (well maybe if it was Maltesers or Cadbury, but you get it).

Was it windy? Yep. Did I have a coat on? Again, yes. But it was warm enough to sit outside in the sun, and this, THIS, is what I’ve learned marks the beginning of spring in the UK. More chances to sit outside start popping up, more sunshine, less of a chill in the air. I’m so ready for it!

What’s Actually Changing

If you follow along on Instagram, you’ll remember we visited the new house this weekend. It was just a quick viewing to take some measurements as we prepare for the move. We’re planners in this house (and a little impatient), so we’re doing what we can now, including visualising where everything will go.

And it’s a good thing we did, because we’ve learned only one of our wardrobes will fit in the new bedroom, and our dining table is almost definitely too big for the space. I’m taking this as an opportunity to invest in quality furniture for the new place, but slowly (which, honestly, is easier said than done).

Life update: I landed my dream job! Well, one of my dream jobs (I’d still love to be an author someday!).

I’ll be working as a bookseller at a local independent, women-owned bookshop, with the role designed to grow into management. I’m honestly thrilled beyond words. I can ride my bike there, too. It all feels a bit like I’ve stepped into a Nancy Meyers film. I’ll share more soon, but I start this week and couldn’t be more excited.

Getting Dressed

I’m swapping out my thick wool socks for bright cotton ones, and I love how they make an outfit feel more cohesive (and weather-appropriate). That said, layering is still very much happening. Long sleeves, waistcoats, and cardigans have been my staples this week.

My layering rule: the three-layer system. Keep your base layers warm but thin…think cotton or fine wool. This Arket turtleneck is a perfect example: wool, but lightweight and really warm. Your outer layer can be thicker and bulkier if you like, but make sure it actually functions like a coat if you need it to. There’s nothing worse than feeling bulky under all those layers!

One Thing About the UK

Every year, when the weather starts to warm up, I’m struck by the park culture here. Brits really know how to do community leisure.

Our local park has multiple playgrounds, a café, a sundial, huge open green spaces, basketball and tennis courts, outdoor exercise areas…you name it. And people use it. For hours. Families, friends, solo visitors, it’s a whole-day kind of place.

We did exactly that on Wednesday. It was warm and sunny, so I packed the kids a lunch and their current favourite game (Guess Who), and we walked over. Levon brought a book, Matilda brought a couple of dolls, and we ended up running into friends and staying for hours. It was one of those simple, easy days.

Out and About

This weekend, we went to a charity breakfast in support of refugees. My brother and sister-in-law, along with a group of incredibly dedicated volunteers, host it every second Saturday of the month.

It’s held in a local church (non-affiliated), and the whole thing runs on generosity! The local bakeries and shops donate food, people bring baked goods, and everything is cooked and served by volunteers. It’s a full fry-up: you place your order, get a number, and then your food is brought to you. You donate whatever you like, and 100% goes to the charity.

As someone who used to work in restaurants, I’m always so impressed by how smoothly they pull it off. It’s a lot of work, and they do it so well. They’ve even created a cookbook and a tea towel. It’s called The Big Breakfast, and it’s just one of those quietly brilliant community things. They’re instagram is @bigbreakfastot if you want to see for yourself : )

Small Things I Loved This Week

1. A couple of genuinely warm, sunny days : )

2. My Instagram community! You’re all so kind and helpful, and I really love it

3. British strawberries. I’m not sure they’re fully in season yet, but they’ve been especially good lately!

Thats all for me!

Until next time,

Ashley

The Mossy Cactus

PS: I’m adding in new different sort of post that will come out Bi-Monthly in addition to these weekly updates. I hope you like them. First one comes out this Thursday, so stay tuned : )

• Currently watching: Season 4 of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives

• Currently reading:

  • Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver (paperback)

  • The Third Love by Hiromi Kawakami (kindle)

  • Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke (audio)

The weather is still as chaotic as ever, and we’ve had some pretty strong wind advisories here in the north over the last couple of days. I’m from Amarillo, Texas, which is often ranked the windiest (or second windiest) city in America according to these articles), so I know wind. But the wind here is cold, and in my opinion, that makes it the worst kind.

The daffodils are starting to close and wilt, so I’m eagerly waiting for warmer weather and whatever blooms come next!

Real Life

The kids finished their last week of school before the long Easter break. They both brought home plants they’ve been growing and studying, and I absolutely adore this.

In Texas, and I think for most schools in the US, you get Good Friday off, and that’s about it. There isn’t a long break like there is here in the UK. I’m still adjusting to it (and experiencing it in real time), but I do like it.

I also recently learned that Easter falls on the first Sunday after the first full moon following the spring equinox. So… that explains the timing this year.

Every day’s a learning day!

We dyed Easter eggs this week using natural dyes like cabbage, red and yellow onion skins, and turmeric. I love how they turned out. The kids had fun writing everyone’s names on them, and it turned into a nice little lesson in patience, too.

Home update: there is no update, my friends. Blah.

We’re still waiting on the seller to hand over some important documentation, which is holding everything up. I’ll admit, I’ve started to worry that the delay means something might be wrong, but I’m trying not to spiral. It’s so easy to jump to worst-case scenarios, but I’m choosing to stay positive. It could just as easily be down to the Easter holiday slowing things down.

As our lease is up 15^th of April and we assumed we would be moving around this time, we didn’t plan any Easter trips. So we will keep packing and decluttering, hoping for good news!

One UK Observation

I had to Google whether England “makes” white eggs. I know.

I was in Aldi and couldn’t find any. This is where I admit, my dear reader, that my husband does most of the shopping. I usually go to Aldi because it’s close enough to walk to, but he does the. “big shop” at Tesco. In my defence the eggs we by at Aldi are of the brown, organic eggs.

Side note: For those who follow me on Instagram you probably know we are primarily a plant-based family, but Levon enjoys eggs, so we’ve decided to let him eat them. We’re fine with that.

But I wanted white eggs this time so the dye colours would show up more clearly, and I couldn’t find them anywhere. Google assures me they do exist here, they’re just not as common as brown eggs.

So there we have it.

Where We Went This Week

We went to the kids’ grandparents’ house on Saturday for what turned into a pre-Easter celebration. My husband’s best friend, his wife, and their three girls were visiting from down south for the long weekend.

They grew up literally across the street from each other, and both sets of parents still live there, which feels very special and we try to make a trip over when they are in town.

We all went for a walk together, and the kids collected pinecones and bird food along the way, in-between asking when we were going to the playground haha.

Matilda and I also went to see Gabby’s Dollhouse Live here in Manchester. She’s obsessed with the show, so it was really special, especially since she missed out on a few big things while she had chickenpox last month. It felt like a bit of a make-up moment.

So that was our week…windy, Easter-y, and getting ready for the “real” time off from school!

ALSO, I have exciting news to share about my career! I found this news out this week, but out of respect I will have to wait to share it next week (hopefully!) Stay tuned…

I’m still waiting on spring to properly arrive, but in the meantime, we’re making the most of what’s here.

Until next time,

Ashley

The Mossy Cactus

• What’s New: Exciting career news for me coming soon!

• Currently watching: Paradise Season 2! (Finished! Let me know if you watch this show. I LOVE it)

• Currently reading: New month, new books!

  • Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver (paperback)

  • The Third Love by Hiromi Kawakami (kindle)

  • Beautiful Ugly by Alice Feeney (audio)

If you’ve read any of these let me know! Id love to chat. Thanks for reading!

I’m starting to notice a pattern with British springtime: March is pure chaos. Up and down, cold winter-like days mixed with warmer, spring-like ones, lots of rain, sometimes even snow. You’re never quite sure what you’re going to get, but one thing’s certain: it won’t be full-on spring just yet.

And to be honest, Reader, this is the time of year I start getting antsy. Just ready and waiting for those warmer days.

Real Life

Matilda is just getting over chickenpox, and she did really well with it. She wasn’t too itchy and only had a mild fever for a few days…thankfully, that’s behind us now.

We’re still unsure about Levon. In the States, they vaccinate for chickenpox at 12 months and again at 4 years. He was 2.5 when we moved, so he’s… sort of vaccinated? Last year he had a small breakout of spots that we thought might turn into chickenpox, but they faded by the next day. So honestly, we have no idea if that was it or if it’s still coming. Stay tuned, I suppose!

Home update! If you’re new here, my husband and I bought our first home (ever!) back in November. At this point, everything is in the seller’s hands as they wrap up their side of the paperwork. Because of the situation (the seller is the daughter of the owner, who no longer lives there), there doesn’t seem to be much urgency.

Of course, our lease is ending soon, so it’s one of those messy, ill-timed situations that probably could never be perfectly planned. Why is buying a home in the UK so archaic?!

The Easter break is coming up for the kids, and they’ll have a good portion of April off school. It’s so different from the US, where you don’t really get this kind of time off mid-year (only Christmas feels comparable).

We haven’t planned anything yet since we weren’t sure if we’d be moving during that time (we still might be!). Either way, we’ll either be moving or squeezing in little day trips between packing so it feels like a win-win.

Speaking of packing, we’ve recruited the kids to help clear out the house. Most of the “extra bits and bobs” are their toys. Our current house has a basement, but the new one won’t, so a big declutter is definitely needed.

We’ve been bringing up a few boxes each week and letting them choose what to donate to other children who might enjoy the toys more. I’m trying to sneak in a few life lessons where I can!

What I’m Wearing

Surviving British spring is a skill I have not yet mastered.

I’m great at layering and preparing for the cold, but when it comes to those days that start cold and turn warmer (to be fair, we’ve only had a few so far), I’m almost always overdressed.

What’s working for me right now: long sleeves with a lightweight button-up, or a long sleeve with a jumper. And I’m still doubling up on the bottom…I’m a wimp! I wear tights or Heat-tech leggings from Uniqlo under my trousers.

Although I have a feeling that’s about to change… hopefully soon.

Here’s a couple outfits from the week:

Where We Went This Week

On Saturday, our little town hosted its third annual Stretfest which is a community-led arts and culture festival. It supports local businesses, and there’s always live music and great food.

In the public hall, I spotted a sign labelling the toilets as “the loo.” So many people on Instagram have told me that’s a dated term and no one actually uses it anymore, but clearly, this little town does!

So that’s out week! Living somewhere between winter and spring and one home and the next. We’ll keep decluttering, layering, and making the most of it!

Until next time,

Ashley

The Mossy Cactus

And hey, thanks so much for reading this far! Since this is a new blog, if you like this sort of post, just hit the ‘like’/thumbs up button. That let’s me know to make more of it (and boost my motivation to be honest haha) Thanks : )

• Currently watching: The Secret Lives of Mormon Lives (Season 2)- the drama!

• Currently reading:

  • Brimstone by Callie Hart - almost done! (paperback)

  • The Glass Hotel by Emily St. John Mandel (kindle)

  • Hunger Stone by Kat Dunn (audio)

The Major Events:

Gym

After more than two weeks off, I finally dragged myself out of bed and made it to the 6 a.m. gym session. This required a shocking amount of self-negotiation at 5:00 a.m., but I did eventually make it out the door.

The motivation? I’ve signed up for a HYROX simulation. For the uninitiated, this means doing the exact order of exercises used in a HYROX race but without the thousands of spectators and the official competition. Real tickets are basically impossible to get these days, so this is the closest thing.

It’s an extremely high-intensity workout, and at the moment my main goal is simply to survive it with dignity.

I’m working my way back up to 3–4 sessions a week, and in a moment of either optimism or questionable judgment, I also signed up for a 10K race in May.

For context: I’ve only just started running 5Ks.

My current system is walking to the gym and running home (about two miles). I always feel amazing afterward. During the run, however, I spend most of the time reconsidering the decisions that led me there.

Dentist

I had a dentist appointment this week that can only be described as medieval.

The hygienist was young, confident, and had Adele playing softly in the background. As she leaned the chair back, I thought, Lovely. Relaxing even.

I’ve never been nervous about the dentist, but NHS dentistry is still fairly new to me, and you rarely see the same person twice, so there’s always a small element of surprise.

What followed was less “routine cleaning” and more unexpected endurance test.

The overwhelming realization I had midway through was this: if I were ever subjected to interrogation involving dental tools, I would last approximately four seconds. I would reveal every secret I’ve ever known, and probably invent several new ones, just to make it stop.

Work Review

I’ve now been at my university job for six months, which means it was time for the official probationary review.

My line manager is genuinely wonderful, but reviews are still a little nerve-wracking, aren’t they? Sitting there while someone discusses your performance feels a bit like being back in school waiting for report cards.

Thankfully, the meeting was far less “evaluation” and far more “let’s talk about your future here.”

Which I’m choosing to take as a very good sign.

London

We took a very quick trip to London, which ended up being one of those days that feels like three days in one.

We left before 6 a.m. and got home just before 11 p.m., which means we spent a truly heroic amount of time in the car. Major credit to my husband, who drove the entire thing while the rest of us rotated between snacks, naps, and asking how much longer.

The main reason for the trip was to meet up with a close friend visiting from Texas. We took the kids to the Natural History Museum, which continues to amaze me because places like that are completely free.

Afterward we went to lunch at a vegan restaurant in Soho. Being there reminded me of a slightly chaotic memory from years ago when my husband and I tried to go to the same place and I ended up having an anxiety attack that concluded with dinner at Pizza Express and a run in with Owen Wilson who saved me from a full-on breakdown (unbeknownst to him).

A story for another day.

We also managed to squeeze in an unplanned visit to Foyles, which is always dangerous for both time and budget. The kids made out with several books, but I restrained myself.

I’m planning to write a full post next week about the trip, if you enjoy a good travel story.

Three Birthday Parties in One Day

Apparently, we’ve entered birthday party season.

We rarely say no to invitations because it gets the kids out of the house and gives them a chance to burn off energy. There’s also the social side for parents, which, during the nursery and reception years, is essentially how you figure out who your grown-up friends are going to be.

I think of it as long-term community building.

The kids had a fantastic time, and we managed the logistics without anyone being late or any major meltdowns (from any of us!)

After our marathon London day, though, everyone was more than ready for an early night. Even with the impressive levels of birthday cake and sugar involved, we all fell asleep quickly.

Weekly Habit Tracker

Monday – March 2

• Gym: ❌

• Hydration: ✅

• Work: Library + socials

Tuesday – March 3

• Gym: ❌

• Hydration: ✅

• Work: Library + socials

Wednesday – March 4- Demonic Dentist Day

• Gym: ✅

• Run: ✅

• Hydration: ✅

• Work: Socials

Thursday – March 5 – World Book Day (Comfy Clothes Theme)

• Gym: ✅

• Run: ✅

• Hydration: ✅

• Work: Socials

Friday – March 6 – London Trip

• Gym: ❌

• Run: ❌ (but lots of walking!)

• Hydration: ❌ (I didn’t want to carry my bottle while giving piggybacks around London)

• Work: No library or socials

Saturday – March 7 – Birthday Party

• Gym: ❌ (too tired after London and a late night)

• Run: ❌

• Hydration: ✅

• Work: Socials

Sunday – March 8

• Gym: ❌ (up at 5:30 a.m. with the kids after my husband’s well-deserved night out- I thought I could still manage the gym, but no no no…too tired. Guess this is 42?)

• Run: ❌

• Hydration: ✅

• Work: Socials

Until next time,

Ashley

The Mossy Cactus

And hey, since this is a new blog, if you like this sort of post, just hit the ‘like’/thumbs up button. That let’s me know to make more of it (and boost my motivation to be honest haha) Thanks : )

• What’s New: Still waiting to move house, but thinking about packing now. Where do you get boxes?!

• Currently watching: Americans Season 4

• Currently reading:

  • Brimstone by Callie Hart (paperback)

  • The Glass Castle by Emily St. John Mandel (kindle)

  • Winterbourne by Elisabeth Wolf (audio)

The days are stretching a little longer, and on the 29th of March we make the big leap forward with the clocks. There’s a trickle of optimism I feel for the changing weather. I know this isn’t quite spring by English standards. Technically, yes, we’re in it as the daffodils are starting to bloom. But for me, seasons are defined more by temperature than by the calendar. I’m curious, Reader, are you the same?

I suspect I’ll need to learn new seasonal cues in the long run. Lambs in fields. Blossom on the trees, flowers popping out of the ground. Lighter evenings and sunnier mornings, even if they’re still cold.

I’ve also started deep cleaning the house.

Partly it’s the seasonal itch. Partly it’s because we’re moving soon, and I’m in the mood to clear out what we don’t need. I deep cleaned the fridge (how did we let it get that bad?!), cleared out expired jars and long-forgotten sauces, and detailed the kitchen cupboards. We buy in bulk for many things and refill jars as we go, so even those got a proper wash and topped up those that needed it. It felt satisfying.

I’ve started on my wardrobe too. I’m selling pieces on Vinted that I haven’t worn in a year, or that simply don’t suit me anymore. There’s something liberating about clearing out clothes.

Visually, I’m most looking forward to the cherry blossoms. We don’t have those in Texas, so they still feel like a novelty. Our equivalent would be Mountain Laurels which bloom briefly and are very beautiful, purple blossoms, and to me, they smell exactly like Smarties (the American kind). So lovely.

For now, the birds singing and the promise of open windows (eventually) are enough to keep me happy.

I’m not quite letting go of winter yet, I think I would be setting myself up for failure and misery if I did. There’s almost certainly another cold snap coming. British weather likes to keep us humble.

So I’ll keep layering up, as I do. Straddling the seasons. Staying cautiously optimistic.

Until next time,

Ashley

The Mossy Cactus

And hey, since this is a new blog, if you like this sort of post, just hit the ‘like’/thumbs up button. This let’s me know to make more of it (and boost my motivation to be honest haha) Thanks : )

• What’s New: Still waiting on an exchange date for the house…solicitors sure do know how to keep you in Suspense!

• Currently watching: The Americans Season 3

• Currently reading:

  • Brimstone by Callie Hart (Paperback)

  • The Glass Hotel by Emily St. John Mandel (Kindle)

  • Winterbourne by Elisabeth Wolf (Audio)

We rented the house we live in now sight unseen. And it’s been a bit of a nightmare.

We wanted to secure a home before we landed, which mattered to us, especially for the kids. We were also arriving with two dogs, fresh off a long flight from Texas, and we didn’t want to burden family while we tried to find somewhere permanent.

My brothers-in-law, who lived nearby, kindly viewed it for us.

And….they warned us not to move in.

The landlady seemed sketchy, and the house clearly hadn’t been cared for. They managed to talk her into repainting and replacing the carpets, but we were desperate. Finding a rental that would accept two dogs felt almost impossible. We wrote letters. We offered more money. We did everything short of begging.

This house even turned us down at first! She then circled back when no one else would take it.

On paper, it was perfect. Great location. More than enough space. A big garden for the kids and dogs. Across from a beautiful park. Walking distance to their new school. It was exactly where we needed to be; the house just wasn’t as taken care of as it should have been. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a dump but more of a just-paint-over-anything-wrong-type of house.

And yes, the warnings about the landlady turned out to be right.

I always give people the benefit of the doubt, and I did with her for far too long.

I believed she was trying to find the “right person” to fix the broken shower door (which took eighteen months) to finally fix. I convinced myself that damp and mould in the home were just part of living in England and we ultimately overlooked more than we should have.

But when the roof leaked in several places over one winter ( and she blamed us ).. something shifted. When she got angry about us texting her on a weekend for an urgent matter (the audacity!). When we were told us we were responsible for the broken boiler. And finally, when she refused to properly address the mould caused by the leaking roof and simply painted over it. But we were stuck.

She’s made me cry out of frustration more than once : / I’ve rented my entire adult life, throughout cities and in different states, and I’ve never encountered someone who cared so little about both a home and the people living in it.

Anyway…that’s not the point of this piece. (Although I clearly still have feelings!)

Starting from scratch

As an immigrant, I arrived here with no credit history. Foreign credit doesn’t transfer. My youngest wasn’t quite ready for nursery so I didn’t work, and for the first few years here it was difficult to build any financial footing at all.

Fast forward to now: I have a part-time job. I’ve been building my credit. And we finally qualify for a mortgage.

So we’re out of this place! Only 4 years later.

We chose a chain-free house because we need this move to happen quickly. The stress of dealing with this landlady has taken a toll, and we’re done.

What’s in a home

But here’s the thing…

Despite the neglect and the frustration we experienced in this house, we made this house into a home.

A benefit of having a landlady who doesn’t care… is that she really doesn’t care what you do to the home!

We made it a home the best we could. We built shelves. We painted walls. We improved what we could. Because this is where our children have been growing up. And no matter the flaws, we want them to look back on these years with happy memories.

This house gave us somewhere to literally land. And for that I am happy.

It gave us space to find our footing as new parents and as a family learning how to live in a new city and in a new country.

And now, we’re starting something new and exciting.

The New Home

The next house is a 1950s ex-council home and has a utility room, a huge garden, a private driveway, and room for us to grow. The best part?

The work it needs is the kind we want to do. The fun kind. The creative kind.

There’s a long list already… new floors, paint, doors, light fixtures, and closets (to start!) and I cannot wait to sink my teeth into it.

But before the boxes come out and we pack up I want to just leave on a positive note and acknowledge what this house ultimately gave us, and that is…a space to start.

So stayed tuned if you’re interested in this sort of subject matter : )

Until next time,

Ashley

The Mossy Cactus

And hey, since this is a new blog, if you like this sort of post, just hit the ‘like’/thumbs up button. That let’s me know to make more of it (and boost my motivation to be honest haha) Thanks : )

• What’s New: A school break is coming up! So I’m planning busy time with the kids. House-wise, were just waiting on the exchange date!

• Currently watching: Homeland Season 3

• Currently reading:

  • The Book Thief by Markus Zusak (paperback)

  • Great Big Beautiful Life by Emily Henry (kindle)

  • Meet the Newmans by Jennifer Niven (audio)

Maybe it was because I saw the chance to redefine myself.

When I moved here, I was 9 months postpartum with my second child. If you’ve had kids, you will know that those months, even the years after birth are life altering in SO many ways. For women, they are mentally and physically redefining.

Questions come up like:

Who are you now as a mom? As a mom of two?

What is your family and life going to be like?

What do you want it to look like?

All that pressure we put on ourselves. Add hormones on top of it and things get…a little chaotic.

Throw in a transatlantic move and suddenly life feels very interesting, to say the least. I knew it was the right decision for our family, so I kept going. Of course I did…I’m a mom, a wife, and that’s what we do.

Once things settled, I felt what so many women feel after a big life shift: a little lost. And surprisingly, a big part of that came down to clothing.

Some may say clothes are a trivial thing, but I don’t think they are, and I think many of you can relate. Clothing helps us feel good about ourselves. That’s the endpoint for me. I want to feel good in whatever I have on. I dress for my moods, for comfort, for ease. I want my clothes to bring me joy.

And that joy looks different for all of us. We’re all individuals with different bodies, needs, and desires. The outfit that I feel like I can rule the world in will look different than yours. And that’s good.

Back in Texas, I felt like I knew who I was. I knew how to dress. It was sundresses, shorts, tank tops, t-shirts. It was easy, familiar, intuitive, and weather appropriate.

Moving here I lost that intuition and my compass. Between hormones, motherhood, and a new country, I genuinely didn’t know who I was anymore or how to dress for this new version of myself.

But I learned.

I experimented with clothes. Styles, textures, patters, and silhouettes that made me happy and confident. Just as important I listened to when things felt off. And those feelings became my new compass.

Once I stopped trying to “get it right” and started focusing on how things felt, the rest slowly fell into place. Not perfectly and not overnight. But piece by piece I began to recognise what I liked and who I was.

That may sound small, but clothing has played such a big part in helping me feel grounded here in the UK.

My intention with this post was to talk about why I love British style so much, but as I’ve gotten this far- it feels like a little back story was a good place to begin.

In part two I want to talk about how living in the UK reshaped the way I think about clothing and how I get dressed. The layers, the practicality, the confidence, the permission to dress for real life. It deserves its own space I think.

For now, if you’re in a season of change too, or want a change, I hope this reminds you that you’re allowed to take your time finding yourself again.

Until next time,

Ashley

The Mossy Cactus

And hey, since this is a new blog, if you like this sort of post, just hit the ‘like’/thumbs up button. That let’s me know to make more of it (and boost my motivation to be honest haha) Thanks : )

• What’s New: Signing the deed on the new house next week! We also found a cool cafe we like here in Manchester and I’m very happy for that because it feels a little more like home.

• Currently watching: Homeland Season 1 - I’ve never seen it but I’ve heard people go on about how good it is.

• Currently reading:

  • The Book Thief by Markus Zusak (paperback) (this feels oddly appropriate for the times, considering all thats going on in the US at the moment. Weird and scary stuff with the past and present meeting)

  • Quicksilver by Callie Hart (kindle) (almost done with this one!)

  • One Yellow Eye by Leigh Radford (audio)

I don’t mean listing all your “new year, new me” goals and ticking them off. No.
(But if that’s you…brava!)

This is the time of year when we hunker down. Not to be dramatic, but this is when we do the work. When we pay our dues.

Especially here in England where the days are pretty short, very wet, and cold.

We survive the cold, rainy days. We trudge to dentist appointments in the dark. We go to work and come home in the half-light of dusk and dawn. We take the kids to after-school activities and pick them up again in the cold evening. This is the work.

So light the candles. Buy the cozy blanket or the new slippers. Stock up on good herbal teas. Find a friend, or a community, or anything that brings a little extra happiness while you move through these days. Spring will be here before we know it.

Do I sometimes wish I could just tap out of January and February?
Absolutely.

Hand in a card at work that says, “out of service until further notice”?
Tell the kids there are no after-school activities until it’s a bit brighter out?
Yes and yes.

But… that would be lame.

Where’s the excitement in living if we tap out the moment things get uncomfortable? If we did, the joy would be flatter. Sunny days wouldn’t feel as bright. Seasons would blur together.

I don’t know if this resonates with anyone, or if my point is landing exactly how I hope. But what I do know is this: there is balance. The light always balances out the dark.

So, in January and February, I’m not challenging myself with resolutions or reinvention. I’m challenging myself to pay my dues, so when the longer days arrive, I can enjoy them more fully.

What about you?

Until next time,

Ashley

The Mossy Cactus

And hey, since this is a new blog, if you like this sort of post, just hit the ‘like’/thumbs up button. That let’s me know to make more of it (and boost my motivation to be honest haha) Thanks : )

I’m also challenging myself to post here once a week! I do best with writing, and I want to write more about my experience living ‘between’ cultures with kids, relationships, the seasons, personal style, and making England feel like home (the physical space and metaphorical).

• What’s New:

  • Our mortgage offer has been finalised! (I don’t know the technical term for this) The home were buying is chain free on both sides, so lets hope we get to move soon! Also, expect a tad bit more home content from me, I’m very excited!

• Currently watching:

  • I rewatched Downton Abbey (what a great time of year for it!) and subsequently watched the 2019 film in anticipation of the newest film thats come out (have you watched it?)

• Currently reading:

  • The Book Thief by Markus Zusak(paperback)

  • Quicksilver by Callie Hart (kindle)

  • The Housemaid by Freida McFadden Maid (audio)

Please feel free to share any thoughts, or what you’re reading and watching in the comments!

Contrary to what many may think, seeing as I come from the land of sunshine, I do love this time of year.

I’m leaning into it because what’s the other option? Fight against nature? Be upset that it’s dark more than it’s light? I find it easy to be grumpy so I have to actively choose to positive. I’ll relish in the darkness. Maybe I can trick myself? Why not try? And I don’t mean the toxic positivity- I mean let’s just try and make life a little better by making it more beautiful and enjoying it.

I light more candles, I have softer lighting in our home, with all the cozy clothes layered on, and herbal tea and coffee on rotation. Oh, and the best part? Books. Everyone seems to want to crawl into bed a little bit earlier so that means extra time in bed to read for me. I’ll take that.

In Texas, winter is a brief intermission between the hot days and sunshine. Here in England it feels like a whole act. I think that’s why I emphasize rituals in my life, because theres the time and space to do it; to make the most of it.

Soon, the days with be long and bright and my kids bedtime will roll around and it will be harder to convince them it’s bedtime. Currently I’m struggling to convince my four-year old it’s morning at 7:30 am. She’s positive it’s still night time.

I feel like when I pass people on the street- whether I’m riding my bike to the gym in the rain and see another cyclist or if I’m walking next to someone, coffee in hand, hustling to the tram stop in the dark hours of the morning- that were all in this together. A sort of team spirit of “isn’t it crazy we’re doing this? It’s still dark out! I can see my breath AND it’s raining!”

But it temporary.

I’d love to know any rituals you have for the darker months? Let me know in the comments and maybe we can benefit from it!

Until next time,

Ashley

The Mossy Cactus

And hey, since this is a new blog, if you like this sort of post, just hit the ‘like’/thumbs up button. That let’s me know to make more of it (and boost my motivation to be honest haha) Thanks : )

• What’s New:

  • We’re looking at buying a house! In Manchester. It’s very exciting and very daunting! But mostly exciting.

• Currently watching:

  • Lots of Christmas movies- any and all!

• Currently reading:

  • Nothing to See Here by Kevin Wilson (paperback)

  • Legends and Lattes by Travis Baldree (kindle)

  • Girl Dinner by Olivie Blake (audio)

    Thanks for reading The Mossy Cactus! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

  

After a year away from work, I was eager to get back into the rhythm of things. One job was in my field (a dream), and the other was a luxury bookseller role. In other words, retail. I wanted to make it work, but it quickly became clear it wasn’t for me. Still, I stuck with it, determined to honour my commitment. Thankfully, the position came to a quick and unexpected end due to a “lack of funding.” (And they say manifestation isn’t real!)

Juggling two part-time jobs, creating content, and making time for my kids, husband, and home life turned out to be a bit much (lesson learned). Now, I’m happily working part-time in my degree field (which I love), and focusing the rest of my energy on writing and content creation.

So, that’s my long-winded way of saying: sorry for the silence here, but I’m back, with lots of ideas brewing.

I’m excited to start writing more essays, travel guides, personal reflections, and cultural observations. I’m also planning a seasonal living guide that covers what to wear, eat, and read each season (what else would you love to see included?).

Writing has always been my sweet spot. It’s where I feel most like myself. Content creation is fun and blending the two feels like a natural next step.

Thanks for being here. Truly. I can’t wait to share what’s next.

If you have any ideas you’d like to see me cover, please email me or comment below!

Until next time,

Ashley

The Mossy Cactus

And hey, since this is a new blog, if you like this sort of post, just hit the ‘like’/thumbs up button. That let’s me know to make more of it (and boost my motivation to be honest haha) Thanks : )

Me:

• What’s New: I was interviewed about my social media pages! I’m featured in Manchester Evening News, The Mirror, Yahoo! News, MSN, and a few others!

  Check it out here

• Currently watching:

  • The Office (I cannot tell you how many times I have watched this show!)

  • I need a new, modern show to watch… Let me know if there’s anything good!

• Currently reading:

  • Babel by RF Kuang (physical)

  • Audition by Katie Kitamura (kindle)

  • Golden Son by Pierce Brown AND The Discovery of Britain by Graham Rob (audio)

    Thanks for reading The Mossy Cactus! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

    

I grew up with a summer birthday in Texas, which meant one thing: heat. My birthday was always hot, or at least very warm. Sometimes there’d be a quick rain shower, or the slightest hint of the season beginning to shift, but mostly it was relentless sunshine. And over the years, with climate change reshaping our weather, those late-summer days have only gotten hotter.

For years, the Austin City Limits music festival happened right around my birthday weekend. If you know ACL, you know it’s legendary, but also notoriously sweltering. People would get heat strokes, overwhelmed by the sun. Eventually, they moved it into October, which is still hot, but just slightly cooler. That tells you everything you need to know about Texas “fall.”

Now that I live in the UK, I’ve found myself with an autumn birthday instead. It’s a shift I hadn’t really anticipated, but one I’m slowly learning to love. Here, the air is crisp, the leaves are turning, and the conkers are starting to fall. Instead of blazing heat and festival crowds, I’m surrounded by cozy rain showers, kids heading back to school, and the first hints of the season settling in.

It feels strange trading shorts and iced drinks for sweaters and tea, but also grounding. Like the seasons themselves are reminding me that change can be beautiful, and that milestones don’t always have to feel the same to still feel like home.

I’d love to hear if the seasons shape the way you celebrate. Let me know in the comments or email me back. I always respond.

Until next time,

Ashley

The Mossy Cactus

And hey, since this is a new blog, if you like this sort of post, just hit the ‘like’/thumbs up button. That let’s me know to make more of it (and boost my motivation to be honest haha) Thanks : )

Me:

• Currently watching:

  • Love is Blind UK- Season 2 (I’m getting annoyed with Billy!)

• Currently reading:

  • Red Rising by Pierce Brown (physical)

  • Of Blades and Wings by Elize Raine (kindle)

  • Bury Our Bones in the Midnight Soil by V.E. Schwab (audio)

It’s shaping up to be a pretty good August in that summery-vibe way.

Thanks to my husband’s flexible work, I’ve been able to carve out lots of time for my dissertation. If you’re new here—hi!—I’m wrapping up my Masters in Library and Archives at the University of Manchester. Whoop! At the time of writing, I have about two weeks left to finish it and turn it in. I.Am.Ready.

I’ve also kept up with my daily reading (what keeps me sane and gives me something to look forward to). I’ve listed the books I’m reading and have read below if you’re interested.

Overall, August has been full-on, messy, and chaotic—and we’re just over halfway through. I love having the kids at home, but we didn’t manage a holiday this year due to only having one income while I wasn’t working. Still, we’ve made the most of it with day trips to local towns, wild swimming, museums, and playdates.

One of the reasons we moved here was the proximity to the continent and more affordable travel. I’m hoping that next summer we’ll explore more of Europe (and the UK!)—but for now, I’m happy with the small adventures and the everyday magic.

So here’s to making the most of the rest of August!

And hey, since this is a new blog, if you like this sort of post, just hit the ‘like’/thumbs up button. That let’s me know to make more of it (and boost my motivation to be honest haha) Thanks : )

Until next time,

Ashley

The Mossy Cactus

PS: Let me know how your August is going! Like, where you’ve been or where you are going for holiday, your favorite book you’ve read so far, etc.

Me:

• Currently watching:

  • Selling Sunset, Season 8 (I needed something I didn’t have to think about!)

• Currently reading:

  • Perfection by Vincenzo Latronic

  • Red Rising by Pierce Brown

But I stopped myself. And I decided to be honest.

I told him it probably wasn’t what he thought. That it’s not what I imagine most people feel when they leave the place they grew up. People usually mourn the relationships they spent years building.

But for me, it’s the familiarity of the space around you. That’s the biggest thing. You just know a place, you know? It’s in you.

It’s the way the sun hits your face…something that feels so familiar, you know it like the back of your hand. You recognize how it rises and sets, season after season.

I miss instinctively knowing the time of day just by how the light looks. Or sensing when a storm is coming—the smell of rain, the meaning behind those clouds. That kind of thing. Of course, there’s the practical side too: not needing to check Google Maps, just knowing your way around. Recognizing buildings, shortcuts, neighborhoods without a second thought.

When your place on the planet changes, the sun doesn’t—but its path across the sky feels different. Its position is off, just slightly, and that subtle shift makes everything feel new… and unfamiliar.

I still feel like a foreigner in my surroundings, and I’m not sure how long it’ll take before they begin to feel instinctively familiar, or if they ever truly will. Yes, I know my way around my community now, but it’s not second nature. In winter, the sun here never seems to climb as high in the sky as it does in Texas. It always feels like it’s just rising.

I love that unfamiliarity because it reminds me I’m lucky to be somewhere new. But it also leaves me feeling a little unsettled. For now.

And yes, of course I miss my friends and family. But I left my hometown when I was 18. I moved eight hours south (still within Texas), and I’ve had plenty of practice missing people. There’s a whole ocean between us now, but FaceTime helps.

Maybe one day this new place will feel like second nature, too. But for now, I’m learning to live in the space between nostalgia and discovery and I’m so grateful for both.

Until the next one,

Ashley

The Mossy Cactus

PS: The photo below is actually from the town I grew up in. Not only that, I grew up in a little house in a field across from this one. It was something I saw every single day of my childhood.

This photo is actually from the town I grew up in. Not only that, I grew up in a little house in a field across from this one. It was something I saw every single day of my childhood.

But that’s beside the point. Aren’t we all just trying to figure this out? No matter if we share the exact same interest or qualities or not, I think were all navigating a similar journey.

The universal journey of combining our passions, our roles, and our qualities and shaping them into a happy life.

All that to say, I’m really happy your here.

Whatever the reason(s) you’re here, I hope it’s entertaining, inspiring, and/or relatable in some way or another.

That’s what I strive for with this blog. It’s my thoughts on experiences and things I’m excited about and want to share.

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This gives me indication to what sort of content you like and can produce more of what you like as I build this blog out. Thanks : )

Until next time!

Ashley x

The Mossy Cactus

PS: Hey, let me know what book you’re reading or what show you’re watching right now (both?!).

Me:

• Currently watching: The Handmaid’s Tale (Season 4)

• Currently reading:

  • The Compound by Aisling Rawl (physical book)

  • My Year of Rest and Relaxation by Ottessa Moshfeg (audio book)

  • Zero Stars, Do Not Recommend by M. J. Wassmer (kindle book)

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It’s a mix of the weather, the laid back and casual atmosphere of an outdoor BBQ, pool time if your lucky, but the general all day celebratory mood from everyone. Oh, and of course the FOOD! Hot dogs, BBQ, burgers, mac and cheese, potato salad, and homemade ice cream. Adult drinks (I’m alcohol free now, but enjoy a fancy mocktail!), lemonade for the kids… you get the picture.

We celebrate the Fourth here in a very subtle way, with just the four of us and some American style food. Fireworks would be totally antisocial, (and I feel awful for the wildlife and my dogs have anxiety about it-imagine thinking a bomb is going off every couple of seconds!), and we can’t really count on the weather being warm here to get the same vibes we would back home.

The equivalent would be Bonfire Night, but it’s cold and wet (November), and not quite the same. I am trying to embrace the British version of a fireworks show and the celebratory meaning behind it.

The missing piece is the nostalgic feeling you get for these sort of holidays.

I’ve come to the conclusion that holidays are 70% the feeling you got when you celebrated them as a kid and 30% trying to recreate that feeling : ) Always chasing that feeling.

As a mom now, it’s about creating fun memories for my kids to grow up with. And because we are a mixed family of American and British culture, I want to celebrate both, but recognise it won’t be quite the same…I’m stuck between feeling so lucky to have the opportunity to experience both and the stress of it all too. Stressed that I can’t make it back for every major holiday, stressed to try and recreate a celebratory feeling, doing it all right and perfect, but without too much pressure haha.

For now, we will do our best, have fun, and make the best of whatever holidays we can!

Until next time…

Ashley

The Mossy Cactus

PS: What’s your favorite holiday to celebrate? Email me @ashleyrejackson.gmail.com or leave a comment below. I always respond and love getting to know you all!

Have you ever been told, “I don’t know how you do it all”? from friends, or other parents, family members, etc?

What was your response?

Like, your inner response? Mine: guilt. That’s probably not a typical response, but I’m not sure as it’s not something we talk about much in all seriousness.

My outward response is something along the lines of, “Oh, I have a very supportive husband, my kids are great, or I couldn’t do it without… x, x, or x”.

All things are true! And helpful.

However, I turn it over in my head, and find myself believing that they’re judging me for spreading myself too thin. Ridiculous right? Riiiiiight?

I think the majority of people mean this as a compliment. And I firmly believe that if they don’t, they don’t have space in my life (or yours!). But why do I go to guilty-mode nonetheless?

I have zero to offer here in terms of advice and have come to no conclusions, other than I’m pretty sure there’s a therapist somewhere out there I need to go see.

But I wanted to just touch on the subject in case any of you ever get parental guilt in some way or another.

I mean, there are 100 different ways to experience it right? Like when I go to the gym, or feeling guilty for not driving here in the UK and leaving that to my husband, taking time out to read in the day, etc etc it never ends, really!

Personally, I always try to reassure myself otherwise, and if I feel bad I always speak to Andi about it. Otherwise, I live in-between this emotion, try to give myself grace, and do the things I know deep down are good for me (and ultimately my family) regardless of what my brain tries to tell me.

Send me an email if you feel the same. I always respond : )

xx

Ashley