I’ve continued to work on my self-imposed MFA: some new habits (painting and drawing a little every day! reading novels and comics! going for walks!), and have picked up a patchwork quilt of jobs. I’m grateful for all the ways the universe seems to send sprouts even when the garden seems foggy.

One of the wonderful things in July was the launch of “The Explorers”!

Here’s a bit more about the book over at Penguin Random House “The Explorers”. It was written by Dee Hahn, a fellow Canadian who lives in Calgary!

I wanted to share some art bits from it. I shared these over the last couple months on my instagram! This book was fun and I painted all of it while pregnant with Elliot (and the book is dedicated to him, for “helping”, but to be honest, he didn’t really help?? but he did make me very tired????)

First- some of the sketches I started with for the characters! I don’t always do character sketches like this, but for this book, there was such a fun duo that I felt like we needed to dial them in before I did thumbnails and roughs.

From there, I explored some colors. This time, I scanned in some swatches from my Holbein gouache tubes so I could try to use “pure”, straight from the tube colors as much as possible for this book. I wanted it to be vibrant.

We settled on “Glam and Kooky” with the yellow boots, and the color blocked sweater.

The color script is a step I try to do, even though it feels a little wild (to paint the book before I paint the book!!) but this sort of planning ALWAYS pays off. Future Ashlyn, remember this. REMEMBER THIS!

The cover is usually done after ALLLL the art is done. It’s nice because after painting a book, you really feel good at drawing the characters.

I usually explore a lot of different options for covers, and then rough in the top choice.

Then, the final cover!

For my author photos, I decided with my very first book that I would never have a real photo on the jacket. I like to joke that I don’t want children to see me age over the course of my hopefully long career. But also, maybe I’m just waiting for the perfect Shel Silverstein photo to use.

So I painted Dee & I, with our own little pets. Luppy the cat for me, and Dee’s lovely chicken.

I love this book and I can’t wait to read it at my next events!! <3

ok love u bye!

I loooove school. It’s in my blood. Not even just arts workshops. Both my parents were teachers; my mom, (a teacher-librarian with an masters in library science), and my dad (a mathematician and professor with a PHD in math). I almost feel paltry with my mere Bachelors in cartooning and silly studies (jk, I have a BAA in Animation). I’ve taken many classes over the years, writing, arts, linguistics, even a certificate in early childhood education! I’m also already a working artist, with no desire to go into academia.

But yet- the siren call of the MFA still calls to me… ~ come learn full-time ~ oooo a dusty library ~ yum

First, here are my 3 dream MFAs and why they are interesting.

UBC’s Master’s of Children’s Literature

UBC MACL Program Overview

Pretty self explanatory- this is one of the few children’s literature focused master’s programs, and it happens to be in my hometown! My dad taught at UBC, and though I could get free undergraduate tuition through him, I cannot use that for a children’s literature master’s. Boo, dad, Boo!!!!! I love that this program seems to combine research and creative writing. What a dream to work on a novel while knee deep in the works of others! I feel like of all the programs, this is the one I’m most likely to do in my retirement.

University of Glasgow’s Master’s of Children’s Literature, Media, and Entrepreneurship

UG Program Overview

Omg SORRY a Master’s that combines kidlit with children’s media??? I work in both film and books, and it’s rare to find a program that talks about BOTH. This is like, my dream overview of how children interact with media of all sorts. Also, not only is it in Glasgow which is such a gorgeous city, it hops you all around Europe (and even to UBC) to study different facets of children’s media. The idea of moving every few months with husband, baby and three cats is nightmarish, but young me would have been in heaven. Someone, please go take this program and describe each part in detail.

Center for Cartoon Studies MFA

CSS MFA Overview

The perfect pairing to my bachelor’s in animation would be a master’s in comics… UGH, this is maybe my dream one. The chance to really deep dive into comics as a medium and put it into practice. I wish we’d had a comics class to take when I was in school, I think it’s something that I’ve figured out on my own but would love the confidence of a deep dive. Also they offer low residence options (which is great because Vermont is too cold for this soft west coast bébé).

SO NOW WHAT???

It’s truly not feasible for me to do an MFA right now, for MANY reasons (some are MONEY and some are BABY).

That doesn’t mean that I can’t structure some learning for myself!

I can make my own little curriculum, so as I’m in this freelance phase of life, I can tailor my focus to what I really want to learn. If you’re in a learning phase of life, maybe some of these things will be helpful.

First- what do I want to learn? Learning “absolutely everything as well as you possibly can” is a great dream, but when you’re in actual school, you have “courses” you take, and even majors and minors.

I wanted to break this down into a few pieces (a syllabus?). What I wanted to learn, what are some regular things I can do to practice, and a capstone project that I’m aiming to achieve.

So here’s my self-directed little MFA.

Writing

WHAT: Writing, specifically graphic novels, with a focus on outlining and plot structure (remember when I said I needed to outline my graphic novel? LMAO I still haven’t tackled that yet!).

WHY: I’m not confident in my outlining abilities, particularly for graphic novels. It’s also been ages since I read graphic novels, missing out on so many of the current great ones!

HOW: I will be reading and analyzing as many graphic novels as I can, writing a short book report for each one describing the plot and why the book works!

CAPSTONE: Obviously, writing my final graphic novel outline! I am giving myself a few months to really study, and will work towards a September deadline to finish!

COLOR

WHAT: Color, and how I can push colors in my paintings in a more unique fun whimsical way, and to understand how color works!

WHY: I already started this journey, taking Austen Marr’s amazing class “Color as Your Secret Weapon” . This class was astounding- if you get a chance to take this course, I cannot recommend it enough. But I want to continue my practice! I feel like my illustrations are already pretty whimsical, but more interesting color choices could take it to the next level.

HOW: I’ve been doing a tiny painting from reference most days. I use a limited palette, and try to explore how the colors affect each other. Doing a small one and knowing I have multiple chances has made this a low-stress daily activity.

CAPSTONE: I did a final painting for Austen’s class, but I’d love to continue doing some more in-depth paintings I can use as illustration samples!

So that’s my plan! I hope it’s interesting for you to learn!

Other ways to dive into learning

Before I go, I wanted to mention another way to get a deep learning feel. Fellowships! There are quite a few around the world, and these short stints are a chance to learn and get a change of pace (and sometimes have your expenses covered!). I’ll talk more about those in a future post, I think, because I’m going to do my fellowship at UCONN in September!

anyway that’s all from meeeee. What’s your dream MFA????

ok love u bye!

I have had a few friends who have recently had babies too, and I think for many creative people, they have a big fear that they will lose their creative time.

Creative time being here, the gooshy art stuff you do that’s not for work. The pre-work, the sprouting. All of this works for regular work too, but I think there’s a pressure there that you don’t get with the art stuff. It’s easy to put the art stuff aside.

So you lose time. Well, rather, you have to rethink how you approach it. I’ll dive into a little about what works for me in this busy time. So maybe you had a baby, or maybe you’re working a stressful day job that doesn’t give you much time- wherever you are, I hope this helps.

First- I highly recommend Anoosha’s great writing on this subject! She’s navigating like a year ahead of me, so it’s so helpful to have her guidance! :

Studio Secrets

Can you still be an artist after having a baby?

What happens to your creative career after you have a baby…

Read more

6 months ago · 35 likes · 8 comments · Anoosha Syed

Next- you have to meet yourself where you’re at, and know that it won’t always be like this. This goes for good and bad- life is always changing. Right now you might be sneaking an hour on your lunch break to work on your novel, or taking a break all together. It’s helpful to know then, your own schedule and obligations.

For me- my baby is in daycare m-f, from 8-3. Those are my PRIME work hours, along with after he goes to bed (though those are secondary as I’m usually pretty tired by then). Figuring out what you want to accomplish and splitting it up into the chunks of time you know you have. There’s also “chaos” time (that is to say, naps, or doing things while the baby is around), where you can’t guarantee you’ll actually be able to do anything. If you take a look at your day and think, I have absolutely NO time, maybe it is time either for a break, or to re-read the part of the artist way that talks about carving out time for yourself. The dishes can wait (and mine loooove to wait!!!)

I also loved this IG post about leaving things in fragments. Find ways that you can create things that can be picked up and put down easily (I keep a little art kit in the coffee table right now, just out of reach from baby’s hands.)

I mean honestly I wish I had done more of this focus without baby, because it really helps make the process a little more frictionless. Sometimes having to grab supplies is just annoying enough to not do something. Make it easy for yourself.

Also- speaking of keeping your supplies in fun places, I started drawing on a big pad of white paper on the floor while Elliot crawls around.

I use these shuttle art tempura sticks. They’re AMAZING!!! They dry real quick, they have a cap so the baby can chew on it happily (while I watch obvs).

It’s like real life baby lifedrawing!

I’ve been trying to find these small pockets of time where I can. I feel still a bit of that uncomfy postpartum adjustment, but it’s getting easier!

anyway hope you’re good. see yall again soon!

love u bye.

First, I organized a TON of my projects and writing in binders! I actually did this a couple years back, it was just time to update and finally add my novels to their own binders.

I have my tv pitch binder (with all the pitches I’ve made in the last 10 years or so, wowza! in case you didn’t know, I also like pitching TV shows! some sell, some don’t! By the size of this binder, most don’t, especially the last few years)

I have my illustration one-shot ideas (I even cut and paste stuff from my sketchbooks- just a place to put all my most precious ideas). On top is my picture books idea binder, some are more fleshed out and some are just a sentence (like “BUSINESS CAT’S FIRST DAY AT THE OFFICE… PAPERS EVERYWHERE??)

Then I have my novel specific binders! In the last few years, I’ve switched to writing longhand in notebooks when I draft, and I realised after trying to come back to my current project (Griselda), that I couldn’t read my own handwriting and all my chapters I’d typed up were in random google docs… So this was a great push to find them, print them, and put them in order!

I also have my GRAVEYARD binder where I put picture books (and one whole novel) of things I really don’t think I’ll return to anytime soon.

I wish sometimes I didn’t love looking at physical things so much, but it helps my brain understand where I’m at with things before I dive back into editing and revisign. I like to revise with pen on paper first before diving into a computer!

Also my graphic novel pitch is not in any binders yet… I think I will make a Graphic Novel outline binder next (but currently I really only have the one I’m working on.

Another thing I’ve been doing this week is painting little landscape paintings!! I have a tiny tin with my supplies and I’ve been trying to do one a day. I once again printed out a bunch of reference photos (it keeps me off papa phone and mama computer) and will crack open a binder, set up, and go!
I’ll write more about that in the future when I’ve done more.

I also removed a whole bathroom vanity. This is where my procrastination truly got unhinged. Anyway we really have been wanting to replace this bathroom vanity in the nursery (and even have the new one ready to go in a box in our dining room), so one night I went nuts and just took out the other one. I’ll try to install the new one next week… more procrastination ;)

I also went to the 826LA Gala!! Okay, I would have gone whether or not I was procrastinating, because it’s a ton of fun. I’m on the Associate Board of 826LA, and it’s been just the best time ever. They have so much great stuff- a new podcast! The future bestsellers club, which brings you a cool book every month! And they help so so many kids across LA (and 826 as a whole does it across the country), and they make cool little zines like this:

Also look at this cool picture of me.

I started reading this book! One of my toxic artist traits is that every few months I google “how to draw” and “how do I write”, even though I’ve been doing both professionally for 15 years. This book is great though and makes a convincing argument to draw more (and post more on social media… I dunno about that yet!!). Anyway that’s where the paintings above come in, too!

A few more things I’ve been doing “just to get ready for working on that outline”- selling a bunch of random stuff on ebay so I can justify maybe getting a color e-reader for graphic novels (for reference, you see). reading a lot of books (for reference, but also the heated rivalry books probably aren’t good reference for middle grade graphic novels). making a bright pitch deck for another pitch (pretty but not necessary, but also tell me that this border isn’t the most gummy bear thing you’ve ever seeeeeen).

What do you like to do to procrasti-work? Please don’t make it sound too appealing.

ok love u bye

But I’ve been struggling to draw!

My art brain has been all fizzed up like a can of soda that’s been shaken for too long, and the tab is broken off and I can’t seem to release all the pressure! I was wondering why, trying different things, but last week, I realised that I hadn’t reorganized and done a deep clean since I first moved in (about 4 years ago now???)

So I have been doing that!

There’s this part in Amelié where we are learning about her parents, and it introduces her mother : “Elle c est Amandine Fouet, la mère d Amélie... Vider son sac à main, bien le nettoyer, et tout ranger enfin.”

Basically, Amandine likes to take everything out of her bag, clean it, and put it all back in place- tout ranger enfin. I relate to this!! I’m not a habitually clean person- I’m more of a deep cleaner.

In the lead up to having a baby, there’s a lot of gathering of baby things and nesting, creating a nursery. Then the baby arrives and there’s endless rearranging and getting your life to fit around the baby’s. I think what it meant for me was that the studio started to pile up.

I saw this great post on IG.

and I think realised that the thing that I’ve been missing is a safe place to put down my fragments. I used to be able to put my fragments down all around the house- the coffee table, the dining room table, basically any table (my husband is very patient).

But now, it is worth to carve out space to let things be in pieces. Also, a place where I can see my supplies and know what I have, making it easy to grab something to experiment.

I was inspired too, by seeing ‘s post about refreshing her studio (which happens to also be her child’s playroom, a joyous space for creativity!)

I wish sometimes I was more of a digital artist (I’m actually taking Austen Marr’s upcoming class “Color as Your Secret Weapon” to try to keep expanding on that skill), but unfortunately I’m a media dabbler.

Anyway I’m mostly done my clean up (barring getting rid of a bunch of trash & random items). Oh also a bottle of ink exploded and dyed the edge of my new rug lmao, oops.

We’ll see where this leads, hopefully to more art and joy as I continue on this freelance path for the time being.

Anyway! Talk again soon.

ok love u bye

But let me say, our baby has been having an absolute blast at daycare! He’s always been a social guy, and it’s been so special to see him enjoy all the new things he gets to experience. So I guess I wouldn’t trade it for the world, or having less fevers, barfing, and overall exhaustion.

Anyway, I’d like to share some art bits for now! And hopefully maybe more random posts here. I miss when this felt like my diary. I never actually kept a diary, because I was too self conscious about my writing at that age. (also… self consciousness in journalling, I’ve since worked that out in therapy. ha!)

I spent some of my last month taking a class with Valentin Scheiner online with Warrior Art Camp!

I love feeling like a student again, it’s my favorite way to get back into my craft. I have layered colored pencils for years but haven’t done too much color pencil only style illustrations, so this was fun!

It was also fun to work in a more realistic, studied style, and pushing all the proportions!

to be honest I was most interested in the car drawing portion of the class, because I am so bad at drawing cars usually. It gave me a lot of ideas!

beep beep!

dare I promise that I’ll be back sooner with some more art and stuff? We’ll seeeeee!!! I hope you’ve all been more healthy than we have.

ok love u bye

My little baby is starting day care and I’m about to start what I like to call a sprouting period. When you are coming up with new ideas, returning to study, and letting yourself chase whatever inspiration flits your way.

I think I’m better prepared for the sprouting period than I was before. Longtime readers of this blog might remember why I started it- I’d been employed for many years, and had recently entered what I knew would be a long period of unemployment (the industry had collapsed- and it still hasn’t really recovered). Even though I knew it would be a while, it was still emotional, devastating, and full of grief. I learned a lot over that period. Or maybe, I thought I did by the end of it. I had to face that this career that I’d worked my whole life to get had suddenly become a game of chance as much as a game of skill. And I mean that- this is truly a period where you can be trained, talented, experienced, and still have long fallow periods.

I did the Artist’s Way, I read Work Won’t Love You Back, I read Make Your Art No Matter What.

But now am I back here, in this tender period where I am not sure where my next job will be. I’m not quite ready to make the leap to another field (which would involve more schooling!), but I know that this season of life will involve a lot of downtime, and empty spaces to fill and try to grow in. It will involve a lot of grace, and flexibility, and being open to new things.

So what is a sprouting period? For me, this means no full-time work. It means yes, some job applications, but it also means pursuing my own projects. Or, rather, it means acknowledging that the pursuit of these projects and learning is as valuable as full-time work. I’m continuously impressed by friends who have made things on their own. (Kelsey’s film ! ‘s Strawberry Vampire series).

There’s a twofold benefit to making your own projects. It can mean portfolio pieces, and it also gives you something to do and structure to your day. In a sprouting period, I think if you’re a type A personality, it can be easy to fall into despair. Not earning money can feel like your days are wasted.

But the important thing about a sprouting period is that it’s paying you in other ways- in recovery, in contemplation, and in creativity.

I can’t control how or when I will be hired next (seriously, working harder will not somehow make opportunities happen in this economy). But I can try to enjoy this period, along with taking much-needed rest.

But anyway, I’m about to enter the sprout phase, and I’m also hesitant about sharing it. That’s what this blog was made for. The algorithm rewards it, too! Show us your sketches!!!! I love process-based youtubers and bloggers. It’s exploded over the last few years.

But for as much as I love to watch other artists, I wonder about how sharing my sketchbook, my unfinished, messy in-progress thoughts, can impede the final result.

For myself, when I’ve sat down to film my process, it immediately adds a veneer of self-consciousness to my practice. I’ve been feeling a resistance to sharing my sketchbook. I want my sketchbook to be my diary, my personal space to study and explore. Not that I don’t want to share, I do, and I will, but I also feel so weird sharing something as a work in progress. Kind of like, I’m not sure how it will come together yet, so when I know, then I will share.

For me and my practice, a way forward will have to have a balance between sharing my roughness, sharing the ugly drawings that I make on the way to a finished piece, and keeping those safe and away until I figure out what that final piece is. I think also, sharing your sketchbook pieces means you might not create as many final illustrations. I’ve seen artists online call themselves “sketchbook artists”. But when you see their sketchbooks, they’re collections of finished pieces that happen to be bound in a book. Not bad, but different from how I would like to use my sketchbook.

I’ve been drawing a lot of these idyllic landscapes with big suns. Maybe it’s echoing my mental state, a feeling of clouds parting and new beginnings. They aren’t really illustrations but a thought, a vibe, a place I can be until I know where I’m going. I’m excited to find out.

ok love you bye

I feel recently inspired to try to write more about anything I want here. My friend Chey sent this video about the creator economy and the algorithm and it made me feel/realise/understand about myself that right now I want to just make this space my safe space to blab on about whatever I want. There's always going to be a lovely core group of people who read this every week (hi mom!), and to free myself from wanting to please "the audience" (in quotes because I have no idea who that even represents to me, is futile. It's 2026!! Everything is bonkers, let's try to just exist and survive in as contented as way as we can.

More about that next column, for sure. For now, I want to talk about locking my phone with a Yoshi!!!!!

Like many people, I struggle with a phone addiction. I always feel like I'm on it too much, and honestly, lately, I have been. While pumping, I would allow myself to scroll unrestricted, and even while sitting and hanging out with the baby, I would pick my phone up, a lot.

Now is the time to admit- my phone usage climbed to 6!!!! hours a day. Isn't that bananas??????

That number is so shameful to me that I almost want to go back and erase it.

HOWEVER I bet that some of you have close to that number, or even more. Why? Because our phones are so so so addictive. They're designed to be addictive. They're fun!! Reading things are fun. Sometimes it even feels like we're learning! But it’s so easy to get sucked into. And I’d rather spend my time doing anything else (reading, painting, baking, idk!!!)

So I would like to get my phone usage down to a more manageable number. I think a "good" number for me is like, 2 hours tops.

Even writing that feels a little indulgent, spending 2 hours of my waking day? But all the little time adds up. I want to titrate down. So a nice manageable amount like 2 hours feels good for me, right now.

I've tried different things over the years to get my usage down.

My phone is in black and white and has been for a year now!

I've installed various blocker apps (one sec, jomo) ! I have put my phone away in little pockets to try to make phone jail.

You may have seen social media ads for "brick". It appealed to me right away because it's a physical, tangible block. It blocks certain apps and you can’t unblock them until you bring the “brick” close to the device.

It's tough with the blocker apps (which blocks apps for lengths of time, or at certain times of the day) because if you allow yourself "snooze buttons", you'll use them. And to be honest, sometimes you really do need to look something up and you’re locked out! Then I found Foqos, this app which lets you block apps with an NFC tag or card. First, you pick the apps to block. You just touch the tag to your phone to activate the block, and then you can’t use the apps until you touch that same tag back to your phone!

First, I tried it with a spare Yoto card.

We have these Yoto cards set up to have playlists for our son. You might even have some NFC cards if you bought Animal Crossing character cards over the pandemic to get only cute villagers.

The card really well! I could keep the Yoto card in my wallet and have to go digging through my purse to find it.

I was curious though. I know that amiibos, Nintendo figurines which you can use to unlock in-game items for the Switch, use an NFC technology.

We had a few amiibos.

So I gave it a go, and now my phone is officially LOCKED with this Yoshi!!!!

I like to think that any time I unlock my phone, this little Yoshi is deeply disappointed in me!!!

It should work with most amiibos, I think. They can be found cheap-ish depending on the character (not as cheap as plain nfc tags or cards on amazon) and they are CUTE.

I wish us all a year with less screen time and more time present in our bodies and brains! <3

ok love u bye.

It’s been getting close to the end of my maternity leave (just one month left!), and I’ve been trying to squeeze out every moment. It’s been a precious time. Elliot’s hitting all sorts of impressive-to-baby milestones (like smiling! Rolling! He even ate some cereal!). I’ll do my year-end favorites next post (before the new year), but I’ve had something on my mind for the last couple of weeks that I’ve wanted to write about, especially going into 2026.

I feel like 2026 is a year of trying to find new beginnings, where it seems like there aren’t any. The last few years have been a true struggle in many industries. But now- AI feels stale, we’re all emerging from the ground, and we’re looking for places to feel whole again. So I wanted to write about being good at things, and what that means to me.

I’ve always been a bit of a perfectionist. I really struggle with not being good at things.

I remember in high school, doing this dance thing for a theatre production, and really, really failing. It was the first time in a long while that I’d felt so terrible at something. I just couldn’t get it- I really have a bad sense of rhythm and an uncooperative body.

Recently, I took a painting workshop that was a lot of fun, but I was really pretty objectively terrible at it. It was a painting workshop where, instead of painting on white watercolor paper, we painted on dark watercolor paper, bringing out the forms of flowers with spontaneous blots of color. I struggled- I think it had something to do with having to leave darkness for where a line might be.

I don’t even have any pictures of what I made in the class because I immediately recycled the art I made.

When I was younger, I probably would have kept grinding and grinding at this type of painting. Similar to the dance performance, I’d do it over and over until I had to take a break and go cry in the bathroom. And I’d probably still not be good at it!

But I’m older now!!! I think I’m getting better at letting go of the perfectionism for things that I’m not interested in. I was thinking about how “being good at something” usually has a combination of things.

• First, you have to be curious about the thing. It can be for any reason, maybe you find it pretty, or you’re just a little fascinated by it.

• Second, you have to be interested in how something works on a deeper level. This is where a lot of my Instagram-inspired hobbies can fail- you see a pretty reel of someone doing something, and you try to recreate it without following the layers of inspiration and history that led to that final product. It’s a deeper interest and understanding that will really create something good.

• Third is a natural inclination or ability in the thing. This is pretty self-explanatory. There is just something that maybe your particular temperament draws you towards. For example, I’ve always been pretty good at painting. There’s something in the physical intersection of art and craft that physical brush media really scratches for me.

So you need a combination of these, in different amounts. You don’t need all of them, but just having one of those things might not really work.

I think you can get good at something you don’t have a natural inclination towards if you’re interested in it and fascinated with how it works. For another example, I actually don’t think I’m that naturally good at drawing or draftsmanship. It’s just something I’ve chipped away at and really worked to get better.

There’s also some things you might be good at but you just don’t feel too inclined to pursue. For me, that’s realistic art. I can do it, but it doesn’t really fascinate me in the same way folk art does, at least right now.

I think there’s a wisdom to figuring out where you want to spend your time. You don’t have to be a superstar in all fields of your life. I was glad to take the workshop I was bad at, but happier still to not paint like that again, or maybe use some of the techniques in a way that works better with what I’m inclined for.

As I think about what I’d like to learn next year, I’m taking stock of what I like, and what is interesting to me.

Here are some things I’m hoping to dive more into next year.

Quilting!

I’ve got a baby quilt that I’ve got to bat and finish. I am hoping to finally make a big picnic blanket-style out of old shirts- but I want it to feel really chaotic and patchworky and fun.

Picture books!

I’ve been illustrating a few picture books lately! In fact, I just had my next illustrated book “The Explorers” announced in Publisher’s Weekly. I have been itching to work on some new manuscripts, and even though the book marketplace is as shaky as animation is right now, I can’t stop myself from being excited to make new things.

Collage!

I’m still working to make a lot more textures and find ways to combine them with my current way of working. I’m not sure if it’ll be a traditional Eric Carle style of collage but maybe a digital collage or something in between. But it’s still on my radar.

Classes!

Since Elliot’s been born, despite my brain disconnecting from my body, I’ve been finding time to do workshops and classes here and there. I really think it helps keep me focused on something creative for a few hours. I just signed up for this color pencil workshop that starts in February!

Non-profit Work

Along the same vein as classes, I’m committing myself to spending some time in my community. With a baby, I’ve had to be more choosy with my time. Giving back makes me feel good (and also inspires my work!). I am joining the Associate Board of 826LA!

I hope you’re all having lovely holidays, and the end-of-year blues aren’t hitting you too hard. Time to think about what to leave behind in 2025, and what to grow in 2026.

ok love u bye!

I like mornings- a good 6 or 7 am with a nice cup of coffee. That was enough quiet for me, watching the world wake up around me.

Then, I had a baby.

Now I am making friends with the night.

Elliot is a good sleeper, but even a good sleeper is still a baby and requires food in the middle of the night. I’m also pumping, which means that when I wake up at 3 to feed the little one, I spend the next 45 minutes alone in the night listening to the rhythmic swish swish of the pump.

My husband is a night owl. He does his best work when the rest of the world goes to bed. As I drag myself out of bed at 3 am and play a round of Hades II, or read a book by the backlight of my e-reader, I start to see the appeal of the night. Time seems to slow down.

The city is quiet. For such a big city, LA is usually a soft-spoken place at night. If New York is the city that sleeps, Los Angeles is the city that’s always cat napping. From block to block, you might see a raucous bar, and then block after block of silent single-family homes. Also, people keep stealing the copper out of street lights, so it’s probably extra dark too.

I remember sometimes walking along Hollywood Blvd after some show, comedy or concert, and being surprised by being the only person out there. Maybe a car driving by once in a while. A lone cockroach on the sidewalk, one of the huge freaky-looking ones.

That’s the LA cat nap, turning the corner and being alone in the fog that rolls in during the fall.

I might even miss the night when the baby starts sleeping more (probably not, actually, I will love going to sleep at 10 pm and waking up at 7 feeling well rested someday).

For now, I will like the night, find a space to be with my thoughts, but not have them be fizzy with daylight anxiety. Just the night offering comfort without judgment.

Thanks for reading!! I will keep updating when I can. The baby is 3 months old, can you believe it? I can’t.

ok love u bye

is on Substack

Stop the presses!!! Dan Krall is on Substack!!!! Dan has been a mentor to me for many years. I’m always excited about what he’s cooking up and I’m so glad he’s on substack, sharing his process of research for his new graphic novels (!!!!). Go go go!!

Collage Workshop for Kids

I am not kids, but I dooo love this collage workshop book from the Eric Carle Museum of Picture Book Art. I’m absolutely furious that I haven’t been to the Museum yet!!!! Hopefully some day soon (if you’re a school in Massachusetts, please consider hosting an author/illustrator!

This book has a lot of fun ideas, and I love the way they lay out their curriculum. I’m also hoping to do more workshops next year. I love teaching and keep trying to scratch that itch.

Also Eric Carle has a great section on his website about his process, and this amazing picture of him (my studio is as messy as this, always).

Caran D’Ache 50 Anniversary Portrait Set

I’m a sucker for a curated set, and this set of Neocolor IIs (the world’s most luxurious crayon) feels perfect for this moment in my life where I just wanna scribble babies.

Case for Making’s Watercolor Workshops

I’ve yapped about Case for Making here before, my favorite SF-based handmade watercolor studio. Not only are their paints just amazing, they’ve worked hard to build a community and their newsletters are always full of information about the creative process and fabrication of their paints! They run online zoom workshops, a few hours of creative jolt to the brain. I just signed up for a few of their November ones!

Center for Scholars and Storytellers Teens and Screens Report

This annual report from UCLA’s research powerhouse CSS is always a great read. Last year, I harbored a dream to go back to school to study kids media and how it’s changing. Reading reports like these scratches my brain and gets me thinking!

and finally

‘s substack on AI

It sums up a lot of my feelings about why AI is going to fail, without even wadingn too much into the ethical and moral grossness of a machine fed on the body and life blood of many creatives without their consent.

Paint Here

My Issues with AI in the Creative Process

Left: Me, doodling at breakfast, Right: Processed through Google Gemini. ChatGPT wouldn’t touch it. See below…

Read more

a year ago · 159 likes · 101 comments · James Gurney

ok love u bye!

So I’ve been drawing the baby.

But I can’t lie- I felt a twinge of anxiety posting my drawings of the baby to instagram. Why? They’re just drawings after all, no photographs. But like a lot of women with careers, I worried that people would judge me, judge my motherhood and how I was choosing to spend my time. Not so much in the picture book world, where I’ve seen many women have babies and move deadlines with a kindness and ease that made me feel so supported.

It’s animation- a job where people make cartoons for kids, but babies and kids and daycare pick ups are spoken in hushed tones. It used to be rare for me to know any moms in animation. It’s gotten a little better the last few years. But I still get a little scared.

It’s not all bad. But that sort of work environment does happen. It takes some good people and good luck to be supported.

I had a hard pregnancy, balancing an intense job with some strong pregnancy symptoms. Now that I’m not pregnant and a few weeks into my mat leave, I’ve been wading my brain-legs back into thinking about work. What does it mean, to be a working parent (and more dangerously, a working mom!)?.

For me, I want to be open and free about being a parent. I want to feel like having a child won’t affect my career. It starts with being open about it, maybe. If you want to hire me, then you are hiring me as a person with responsibilities and joy outside of work. But you’re also hiring someone with the learnings that come from that!

Not sure if I’ll post about being a parent to linkedin, but I won’t hide mentioning it in meetings. If that affects someone’s choice to hire me, or work with me, maybe that’s not a place I want to work at.

So I draw, where I can, to remember these moments with the baby. To make myself laugh, and to try to figure out how to illustrate this weird wonderful world of baby. And I post them, so maybe you can enjoy them too.

anyway!! back to my job (feeding/changing/cuddling).

ok love u bye

We lost a very special friend a few weeks ago. Amidst the newborn chaos, we also had to make the tough choice to say goodbye to Zeus. He was the king of our feral colony, foul-weather pet, and tongue-baring butterball.

We were lucky to know him, and though we always knew our time together would be shorter than most (he had FIV), it always seems unfairly, unbearably short to say goodbye to a beloved pet. I wanted to share some of my favorite memories about him here, because he was truly a neat guy.

We met Zeus when he showed up on our doormat. Prince was a few months old, and Prince had just started his process of bringing all the neighborhood cats to our door. Zeus was one of the first. We actually got started with TNR (trap/neuter/return) because of Zeus. We actually thought he was a pregnant female cat because of his bodactious size, and we called him Mrs Moose because our indoor cat Moose was obsessed with him.

Anyway we took him into Fixnation, and I warned them that "she" might be pregnant, and when I picked this cat up inthe afternoon, they revealed that "she" was actually just a big ol boy!

As an ex-tomcat, he had some big scars from his time out fighting in the wild. His eyes were always a little crusty from fighting, and he had FIV. He was cautious but able to be pet at first. Then, after a vet visit, he became deeply cuddly.

The thing about Zeus was that he was only an indoor cat under his terms. He quickly learned how to scratch at the door to be let in, and then out. He would come in more often when it was cold, and he would stay for hours in the warmest spot he could find (usually your lap.) He would also come in to eat food and then leave immediately after. But if you saw him outside, he would happily accept pets and cuddles if you were around. When I worked out in the garage (or when he was inside), he loved to be a supportive pillow for my drawing tablet.

He also brought his whole family to come live in our yard. We don’t know how they were related (brothers?? children??) but he took care of them all.

Grant and Zeus had the most special bond. When you meet your soul cat, it's a one of a kind experience. Zeus was like that for Grant. Zeus was obsessed- would always figure out where Grant was and go lay on him. When Grant got a new office, Zeus was inside in a matter of days to sit on his lap. He loved to shed all over, and lick his stinky breath in your face.

A few years after Zeus arrived, his best friend Shadow showed up. They were a true bonded pair. Shadow (the black cat), is deeply feral and will hiss at you no matter what, which is a funny best friend for a fat cat who loves pets. They were in separable. I've never seen a bonded pair in a feral colony before.

They went everywhere together, and no matter how hot it was, they would be cuddling up somewhere (sometimes joined by Peanut Butter or Nala in the club).

Zeus' most defining feature was his tongue, which often peeked out of his mouth when he was sleeping, belly out, in a sun ray. Sometimes him and Shadow would have matching tongues as they lounged together.

I drew him often over the years. He was iconic, voluptuous, and often hilarious.

He will be missed and we will carry his lessons always. A true tomcat, a rambler, and caretaker of his whole family.

I hope you are all having a good start to your school year, and fall. Lots of love to you and your pets if you have them

ok love u bye

If you’ve got any books to recommend, please drop em in the comments!!

Now put on Emily Arrow’s great Books Books song, and let’s enjoy!

Alchemy of Secrets, Stephanie Garber

I’ve been subscribed to Book of the Month for years now (the ease of having a simple choice each month for less than $20 is awesome to me!). This month, I got to read Stephanie Garber’s newest book for adults and it was so much fun. It gives me John Wick/Under the Silver Lake vibes, with lots of conspiracies and twisty romances!!

Ed Emberly, Todd Oldham/Caleb Neelon

I am excited about how many amazing kids book illustrators are getting lovely thick coffee table book retrospectives. I will happily buy them all. This Ed Emberley bio/collection of his work is just os much fun. He has a lot more UPA style ad agency work than I thought. I also loved how he got his family involbed in his work.

826LA’s Future Bestsellers Club

You’re telling me for 25$ a month you can get a real physical book of amazing writing by students delivered right to your door??? I always sing 826LA’s praises, and I love reading their stories. It’s so inspiring! Future Bestsellers club is just the best <3.

Hellaween, Moss Lawton

Moss is a fellow animation artist, and their second graphic novel in their Hellaween series just came out!!! It’s such a fun balance of spooky, spunky, and funny. Also, it’s Halloween season, so you gotta start adding more spooky stuff into your life!!

Rodney R Rodney, Violaine Briat

It’s rare IMO to find completed webcomics! And for free to read on Webtoon!! Vee’s one of the funniest/smartest writers I know, and Rodney R Rodney is just such a unique and fun experience to read. They just did a kickstarter for a physical version. so I hope to have the physical version soon!

Please drop your recs in the comments and save me from endlessly scrolling reddit while tied up to my spectra!

ok love u bye

I had a half week of nesting, before getting Covid (a comic-con exclusive!).

Covid when you’re in your 3rd trimester and already feel like a big ol beach ball, is not fun!! I whined to the best of my ability. After a week or so, I finally started to feel better. Then, I went off to my 38th week check up.

They ended up inducing me, and I popped off to have a c-section. On August 13th, at 1:54, little Elliot Pardee was born!! He was exactly 2 weeks early, and of course he is perfect and squishy and full of faces. He also has a beautiful head of hair (courtesy of my non-stop heartburn/acid reflux I had in the last 3 months).

We love him, obviously, and so do the cats!!

And I updated the comic.

Anyway, the schedule will be a bit thrown off for a bit as we adjust to having a tiny little sleepy kind living with us, but I’ll pop in where I can.

ok love u bye

I return often to women as mountains/giants in times of stress. Maybe my mom read me too much folklore as a child. Or maybe I read too much folklore as an adult. One of those.

These are all neocolor on onion skin paper, which is soo smooth and lovely, the only downside is that the minute the pages close up, you know everythign is going to smudge. Ephemeral! Let your drawings go, let them be what they’re going to be for the moment that you do them, I think.

2024-2025 for me has been the era of landscapes. I love characters, and always will, but I have been trying to love space.

I used to say I was bad at drawing cars but HONESTLY I really love drawing a very specific kind of car. Maybe it’s a UPA/mid century animation car. It’s not COOL but it’s probably fun to drive and the horn sounds like MEEP MEEP.

Anyway, hope you’re all holding up and hopefully see you in a couple weeks!

ok love u bye

They’re all right. And they’re all a little wrong. A drawing of a tree, after all, is just your drawing of what you think that tree looks like.

I have been thinking lately again about right and wrong when it comes to art. I split my time as a commercial artist (storyboarding for animation), and an illustrator

(which some might still view as a commercial artist, but for the purposes of this article, we’ll think of it as less so because I have far more control of the style I choose when I illustrate).

In a more commercial field, there is a right and wrong, at least a right and wrong that fits the style of the project that you’re hired to work on. Maybe you draw the branch long and thin when it’s supposed to be short and fat. Maybe you add lots of leaves when the tree is supposed to be bare.

So back to art, but in this case trees. Here’s what I love about drawing trees. They’re all so different. They have some similar shapes (a trunk! leaves, branches, fronds, limbs). Even trees of the same species can look very different from one another. My family had a Garry Oak called Gary (not to be confused with the Pokemon character, Gary Oak), which always grew reallllll slow. Stubby little dude.

Anyway, I went to a park that’s new to me in LA, Kenneth Hahn Recreation Area. I set up a little drawing station for myself (including a new chair, I can’t sit on my smaller more lightweight folding chair because I’m simply too pregnant).

I fully intended to paint some elaborate full scenes but instead I sketched in my ugly book I got on a recent trip to Palm Springs, and I ended up drawing the same trees over and over again.

As I got going, I tried to think of ways I could group things together, and repeat shapes.

Then I tried to draw the tree in negative space, looking for clumpy bits.

This last version was one that I was maybe the happiest with.
Then I drew some turtles, because to be honest, I always love drawing characters more and needed a break from the trees.

It feels kind of vulnerable to show these explorations! Some are tentative and feel “wrong” to me, wrong in that they don’t quite accomplish what I was seeing or even a vibe I wanted to make. But that’s okay!! I think they exist in the grey area, some closer to my “right tree” and some closer to my “wrong tree”.

I went home and drew some more! I think you can see a little of all the trees above in this one!!

Anyway I hope this little tour of my sketchbook was interesting to you, and you can think about what kind of trees you like to draw, and how to draw them.

also, I kind of like this lady I drew on one of those bad netflix reality shows.

ok love u bye

I’ve been really enjoying watching collage videos lately! A couple years back, I got this lovely “Cut Paper Pictures” book.

I’ve always loved a lot of texture in my work, so it’s been fun to ingest these. I found a lovely kids book artist, Emily Schofield, and I’ve been devouring her videos too. Soothing, pretty, and kind of like watching someone assemble a jigsaw.

There’s a new ~ trend ~ of “junk journalling”, a sort of scrapbooking on steroids that I’ve been liking. I did some minor version of this when I made my Halifax sketchbook. I would love to keep doing this in my sketchbooks, gluing things in and making it feel more textured and fun.

I’ve been continuing sketching just a little here and there, and it’s been emotionally so helpful for me!! I have returned to a practice I used to do back in college- filling a page with many different versions of the same thing. I used to do it with “matryoshkas”, where I would make many sizes of something (like a bear) from big to small.

Anyway I hope you’re holding up okay!

ok love u bye

Kids of a certain age are obsessed with favorites. I think maybe it’s because they’re trying to show their own personality, and create connection. I remember one zoom visit where the students asked me only a series of “what is your favorite…” questions (including my favorite fruit, vegetable, and animal).

I do have a favorite color- a sort of bluey-teal-cyan. I think of Oliver Sacks’ search for “true indigo” (a color he saw on a drug trip that made him think of heaven). It’s also the color in my icon, and one of the main colors in the branding of my website (where I use modern primaries).

But more often, I think of favorite color combinations or color schemes, and how they play together.

One of my early favorites has been a teal or warm leaning blues with a warm red.

I recently rediscovered this light pink with a dark blue green (I generally prefer yellowy greens so this surprised me!)

I also like chartreuse and pink, as a sort of acid nightmare. Or watermelon.

It’s been a trend in interior decorating for too long, but I love grey/graphite with a sharp cool yellow!

Pulling out colors to mix and match and see how they feel together is a type of play that I’m hoping to do more often. Whether it’s through swatches in my sketchbook or making squares to mix and match, hunting for unexpected combinations is a little like a treasure hunt.

I don’t think I have the strongest sense of color- I’m still trying to play with a more varied color palette. I have a few things that I’ve been playing with

These color cubes are fun to pull out and play with. I like that there’s photos on the other side so I can see where they come from. I’d love to see these but with illustrations!

I have a set of color paddles, used to teach kids about color mixing. Sometimes it’s fun to see how the whole world looks in magenta.

Do you have a favorite color combination?

ok love u bye

Anyway, let’s dive into some of the things I’ve been up to!

The Book Buddies Tour

I took a trip to the Hudson Valley to do some absolutely lovely school visits with my friend Emily Arrow! Shout out to the amazing librarian Cathy who set up this whole tour for us!

Little Art

I set up a little free art gallery at the LA County Fair filled with my tiny paintings! I had a lot of fun making the gallery “visitors” for this! My fave is the little bear.

Inspo galore

I saw my friend Cheyenne and we of course bought bande dessinées.

Inspired by, and reoccuring new theme in my works…

Lots of fun and I’m so tired.

A few random things I’ve been tossing into my brain stew.

Gradient Mapping I’m not a digital paint person. I just can’t wrap my brain around it. I can vaguely do it, but I don’t love it. I still paint all my books traditionally and add bits and pieces after. But that doesn’t stop me from trying to learn more things. I guess there’s this newish thing called gradient mapping where you can paint in black and white, and use photoshop tools to add color (similar to how we did with adjustment layers or multiply/color dodge back in the day).

The Grammar of Fantasy! Meg Hunt recommended this book to me. I’m really interested by books that talk about storytelling FOR kids, and what works and why. This new edition has illustrations by Matt Forsythe, so it’s a no brainer!

ok love u bye