Notes From A Trap Feminist

The 304 Voyeurism Has Gone Too Far

Sesali — Fri, 21 Aug 2026 14:01:09 GMT

I didn’t know 304Tok—content created about sex work by TikTok users who are sex workers— existed until people who aren’t in the industry told me. And that was the problem: people not in the business of hoeing were once again in hoe business.

My discovery was made a few years ago, when TikTok was solely owned and managed by the Chinese company ByteDance, …

The Delicious Bitterness of 'Is God Is'

Sesali — Tue, 19 May 2026 20:06:12 GMT

There is a special kind of disappointment that comes from watching somebody get exactly what they deserve and not feeling any justice in it. That’s what it’s like watching Is God Is.

This revenge thriller follows a set of parentless Black twin sisters, Anaia (Mallori Johnson) and Racine (Kara Young), who have recently been fired from their custodian jobs…

Surviving the Natural Hair Community

Sesali — Thu, 26 Mar 2026 14:03:04 GMT

My heart was admittedly warmed when I first got wind (on TikTok of course) that my Gen Z nieces are on their own version of a natural hair journey. These are the daughters of elder millennials (and some younger millennials who had babies young) who didn’t slap Just for Me in their children’s hair at the first sign of an unruly kink. However, they are al…

GloRilla's Nose Job Might Be The Realest Thing About Her

Sesali — Fri, 30 Jan 2026 17:30:59 GMT

For the last few months, GloRilla’s face has been a topic of debate. It started in May of last year when rumors swirled that she’d undergone a rhinoplasty. The fun-sized rapper and one of the decade’s most consistent hitmakers, seemingly confirmed the gossip with a social media post that said “& DID” with a smirking emoji. Throughout the subsequent fall…

The #BlackGirlMagic Era Is Dead. Now What?

Sesali — Fri, 05 Dec 2025 00:04:51 GMT

I love to tell the story that Beyonce’s 2013 self-titled album launched my writing career. At the time I was living in D.C., working at Planned Parenthood’s national office and moonlighting as a columnist at Feministing (R.I.P. to the og feminist blog). Writing about identity and pop culture was my niche, and it was very niche indeed, until Beyoncé drop…

Being Musty Is Personal, Not Political

Sesali — Wed, 25 Jun 2025 17:26:33 GMT

Making this post free because it is IMPORTANT.

Many years ago I went on a date. The person was fine as hell. They were interesting. We had a good time. I would have cracked them immediately afterward. But I did not. Because about halfway through the date, I became aware that lil baby was musty. I had a homegirl who knew this person, who knew we were goin…

Fat Black Girls Are, First & Foremost, An Unsavory Idea

Sesali — Wed, 21 May 2025 16:01:02 GMT

I heard that people were mad about Thomas J. Price's ‘Grounded in the Stars’ statue before I saw it. Words like fat, ugly, and monster were used to describe the 12-foot, bronze rendering of Black girl with braids. She’s wearing pants, a loose-fitted t-shirt, and loafers; and standing with both hands on her hips, casual and unbothered, as if she’s next i…

Ya'll Keep Giving Black Men The Right To Be Predators

Sesali — Tue, 29 Apr 2025 20:19:00 GMT

In 2023, at the big age of 54, Shannon Sharpe met a 19-year-old and started sleeping with her. We know this because earlier this month, she filed a lawsuit accusing him of sexual assault, battery, and using his fame to "manipulate, control, subjugate and violate women." As is often the case when Black men are accused of sexual violence, there is a choru…

Sinners Clocked The Meaning Of Who & How Black Men Choose

Sesali — Mon, 21 Apr 2025 16:44:10 GMT

If you haven’t seen Sinners, the new horror flick written and directed by Ryan Coogler, and starring Michael B. Jordan playing two roles as twins, you need to. It’s masterfully shot and has a lot to say about Black traditions, Black art, Black spirituality, and perhaps most importantly, Black ownership. It’s social commentary masked as a vampire movie, in the same tradition of Jordan Peele’s 2017 directorial debut Get Out. Get ready for the thinkpieces because there were so many layers of symbolism and meaning to unpack throughout the film.

When Black men take on the task of expressing and investigating Blackness, I’m always anxious to see how gender and sexuality fit into their narrative. How are women imagined in their proximity to Black men, and Black community in general? Do they have the range for an intersectional analysis or are they relying on tropes and archetypes that only reinforce male dominance? I don’t always love the answers I find. But with Sinner’s, Coogler flipped some of those tropes on their heads and used others to make important points.

[SPOILER’S AHEAD! Bookmark this and come back later if you still haven’t seen it.]

At the center of this supernatural period piece are outlaw twins Smoke and Stack. It’s 1931 and they’ve returned to their hometown in Mississippi after seven years away (first in WWI, then in Chicago, a place where the violent racism of the Jim Crow era simply takes on a different form) to open a juke joint. Their lore precedes them in their Southern community, and as they go about separately making plans for their grand opening, we meet the townsfolk who played a part in their origins, including the women they love.

We first meet Annie, played by Wunmi Mosaku, as Smoke delivers flowers to the burial site of his baby. Nigerian-born Mosaku is already a stallion, and her full-figure was made even more imposing by the sheer power of her performance. Annie takes up space as a thick, dark-skinned hoodoo practitioner, and at first I feared that we were being introduced to a magical mammy figure whose only concern is the safety of the man in front of her. I didn’t know if she was his mother, his aunt, a sister, or the woman from down the road who used to babysit Smoke and Stack when they were kids, all roles that are usually reserved for women who look like her. Instead, Annie is the mother of the child that Smoke is still grieving, and she’s pissed at her baby daddy for leaving her to mourn alone. They bicker. About her work, about his absence, about everything except the sexual tension that still exists between them. It gets so heated that Annie puts a knife to his throat. But within minutes, the blade is replaced by her bare hand, as it travels sensually from his crotch to his throat. She whispers in his ear, “Your body hasn't forgotten me.” (Annie choking Smoke will be my screensaver by week’s end.*) Then she’s bent over and they’re having the fabled baby-daddy / baby-mama sex that apparently hits like crack and leaves all forgiven.

Unfortunately, there’s a world where a character like Annie is written to get her back blown out and then left alone once more, only consulted again when Smoke needs to know how to eradicate vampires. As the level-headed, business oriented twin, his growth could have been marked by his procurement of a less complicated, more palatable lover. But Coogler’s decision to instead make Annie (with all of her sage wisdom and knowledge about spirits and other entities) a major part of the plot shapes Smoke and his arc. Despite being a soldier, a killer, and criminal, he is tethered to a family he never got to have, one he doesn’t feel he deserves but still yearns for. She is not his self-sacrificial martyr. She did not go chasing after him, comfortable with what she has with or without him. She prayed for him while he was gone, whether Smoke believes in it or not, because that’s just what she does. She is not his savior. But Annie’s love for him, his for her, and their shared love for the infant they lost are ultimately Smoke’s salvation. When our hero meets his fate, dying by the gun just as he lived by it, it’s that family waiting for him on the other side. They’re his final slice of solace.

Smoke’s brother, Stack, is the twin with the slick mouth, a snake oil salesman, always trying to skim a little bit more off the top. He suffers an alternate fate and some of it is certainly attributed to his vastly different choice of paramour.

The Real Bitch Group Chat

Sesali — Tue, 08 Apr 2025 22:26:08 GMT

When I started this Substack a little over a year ago, it marked my return to the streets as a writer, culture commentator, and thinker. I had an explanation for my absence: I was burned out and disillusioned by the demands of a changing media landscape and that’s why I became reclusive on the internet. And that’s partly true. But the bigger affliction—…

In Defense Of Scaring The Hoes Away

Sesali — Thu, 27 Mar 2025 18:25:38 GMT

When I was in 8th grade, I was already a size 18. None of the name brand labels of the time (Baby Phat, Lady Enyce, or Juicy Couture) made pieces that fit me. I wasn’t petite enough for any of the boys my age to pick up and dry hump in midair at the juke parties. As some of you know, I wasn’t blessed with the proportions that could allow me to sneak int…

Why Are We So Quiet About Angela White's (Blac Chyna) Rebrand?

Sesali — Fri, 21 Feb 2025 17:35:31 GMT

Most people probably don’t recognize the name Angela White, but they will likely recognize the Love & Hip Hop: Miami star as soon as they see her. Ask any American millennial or Gen Z’er about Blac Chyna and there is a long list of possible associations.

Nicki Minaj’s notoriously hourglassed body double and Lamborghini racemate.
Amber Rose’s old bestie wi…

A Guide For Dealing With The Beyoncé Hater In Your Life

Sesali — Wed, 05 Feb 2025 02:53:23 GMT

On February 2, 2025 Beyoncé won three Grammys for her efforts on the masterful Cowboy Carter. One of the awards made her the first Black woman to win Best Country Album, another was her long overdue Album of the Year distinction. After the show concluded, she announced dates for the official Cowboy Carter Tour. The greatest artist of our generation has once again invoked a cause for exultation, excellence, and celebration for all those who embrace what Woody Nelson himself deemed “some real good shit.”

Unfortunately, this sacred moment has also resulted in a retaliatory spike in Beyoncé hate, an ideology that should be considered a mental illness. These Haters strategically target Beyoncé and the Beyhive after her successes, and post the biggest threat to the Hive’s collective joy and peace. Haters have been known to infiltrate families, communities, social groups, and workplaces. They spread hate online and in person, creating a hostile environment for those in the Hive, and those individuals with taste, outside of it.

In order to combat this hazard, I have created a brief guide to help you stay safe, sane, and in formation during this time.

Know Your Hater

While there are some people brazen enough to slander Beyoncé Giselle Knowles-Carter’s name openly and without shame, most Haters are too pussy to do so. So they disguise their disdain as political ideology or faux objectivity. It is important that you are able to identify a Hater when you encounter one. Be on the lookout for sentiments that include, but are not limited to:

Yea, I Peeped Vol. 16: Gmail, Community, Jamie Foxx, Keeta Hill, BFTV x Purse First

Sesali — Fri, 31 Jan 2025 17:33:42 GMT

It feels like everyone has beef with the tech giants that are supposed to provide us with essential services, entertainment, and connection, and I’m here to add another opp to your list: Gmail. I’m convinced they created the Promotions and Social folders in 2013 to sell subscriptions to Google One, which launched in 2018. These folders automatically fil…

We Need More Big Booty Berniece's ('One of Them Days' Review)

Sesali — Wed, 22 Jan 2025 19:08:59 GMT

If you need a palette cleanser from the absolute chaos that only 22 days of the new year has wrought, I can’t recommend One of Them Days enough. Seriously, throw your favorite sweatpants on, take an edible, and go, post haste! I didn’t just love it because we haven’t had a commercial comedy focused on Black women’s friendship since Girl’s Trip. The buddy flick starring our Black Hollywood princess, Keke Palmer, alongside our eternally angsty R&B baddie, SZA, really is perfect for a little dissociation session. (Which is probably why it went #1 at the box office this weekend. Period.) One of Them Days is funny as hell thanks to Keke’s natural gift for comedy. Plus, it’s beautifully shot, in part because we spend so much of the movie gazing upon SZA in her acting debut. Not to mention, it includes appearances from some of our favorite Black stars, and even though it’s set in a gang and poverty ridden community, One of Them Days is just absurd enough to not bring you down. The cherry on top is that it serves up a villainess who, in hindsight, is worth rooting for.

For comparison’s sake, this movie is a female take on Ice Cube’s 1995 classic, Friday, where the events take place within a single day. Instead of needing $200 to pay local weed dealer Big Worm, Dreux (Palmer) and her best friend/roommate Alyssa (SZA) encounter all kinds of shenanigans—several near death experiences, being laughed out of a payday loan spot, and a towed hoopty among them—trying to find $1,500 to pay their rent by 6 pm. Like Craig, who was roped into debt by Smokey in Friday, Dreux is only facing eviction because Alyssa gave their rent money to her hobosexual boyfriend Keshawn (Joshua David Neal) and trusted him to pay it. Friday’s Lil Chris, who knocks over his neighbors' trash for shits and giggles, is replaced in One of Them Days by an unidentified biscuit thief at the local Church’s Chicken. 30 years later, Ezekiel the crackhead is swapped out for a more insightful and helpful vagrant named Lucky (Katt Williams), while pixie-cut Debbie passes the baton to a mysterious neighborhood hottie nicknamed Maniac (Patrick Cage II). And in 2025, the neighborhood bully isn’t a bald man on a bike. Dreux and Alyssa are pursued by Big Booty Berniece (Aziza Scott), who drives a sports car and is the realest bitch in the whole movie.

(SPOILER ALERT FROM THIS POINT ON!) When viewers first meet Berniece, it’s through lore. In the time it takes Dreux and Alyssa to realize that Keshawn took their rent money, he’s already slipped out of their apartment, where he’d been crashing. They obviously want to find him to get it back, and Alyssa thinks she knows where he might be: laid up with the woman she recently found out Keshawn’s been creeping with, Berniece. Big Booty Berniece.

The Girl Code Sins Of Megan & Kelsey

Sesali — Tue, 19 Nov 2024 23:28:28 GMT

Most of what needs to be said about Megan Thee Stallion’s In Her Words documentary has already been said:

We don’t care that she lied to Gayle King about having sex with Tory. (Gayle shouldn’t have asked her about it in the first place, Megan told the truth in court, and we would have lied about fucking a balding, 4’11 troll who shot us, too.)
The entertainment industry is terrible for mental health and thrives off of misogyny.
Megan didn’t deserve what Tory did to her, period.

But what about Megan’s relationship with Kelsey, her former best friend and witness to the shooting?

With the admission that she slept with Tory Lanez (once or twice, when she was really drunk, according to her) Megan seemed to confirm the narrative that she’d betrayed Kelsey, who was already intimate with the Canadian rapper. And make no mistake about it, Megan did. Secretly fucking the guy your bestie is also fucking is definitely weird and hurtful. Why not just run a train instead? It’s a Girl Code violation. So I understood why Megan and Kelsey were arguing on that fateful night, and why Kelsey wouldn’t want to be friends with Megan as a result.

Watching In Her Words, it was obvious to me that Megan was heartbroken by Kelsey, that their friendship was another major loss in her life not simply because it ended but how Kelsey ended it. She colluded with Tory Lanez’s defense. For those still intent on punishing Megan for the harm done against her and those who don’t understand Girl Code, they think her pain is deserved and Kelsey’s actions were justified.

No the fuck it’s not.

It’s one thing to cut your BFF off after some fuck shit. It’s another thing to watch the nigga you’ve been fucking shoot your BFF and immediately pick sides with him. If we’re measuring that Girl Code violation against sneaky linking with your besties sneaky link, it’s obvious which one is more heinous.

Yea, I Peeped Vol. 15: Grammy Noms, The Perfect Couple, Brazil & More

Sesali — Fri, 15 Nov 2024 21:32:07 GMT

If you’ve been waiting for me to speak about Diddy, I don’t plan on it. Water is wet. salt is salty. Predators prey. Niggas nig. He’s right where he’s supposed to be.
In the event that my last post about hitting my stride as a career author/writer was TLDR, I want to provide a little bit more context: I am only recently coming to terms with the fact that…

'Da Baddest' Is Out... Now what?

Sesali — Tue, 08 Oct 2024 23:01:37 GMT

I promised myself that I wasn’t going to use this space to write about writing. Getting coherent words and stories onto a page is a complicated process that writers don’t have nearly as much control over as we’d like. That’s why I try not to bore you all with long passages about how long it’s been since I last posted, and all that jazz. It’s a genre. The girls that get it, get it. But I’m making an exception today because it’s pub day for Trina’s memoir, Da Baddest. This book, that I co-wrote with her, finally making it onto shelves marks the end of a three-year journey for a project that I’ve dreamt about since I was in undergrad.

Back in those days, I used to say that I wanted to write Trina’s biography as a precarious college student with a fledgling sense of my own capabilities as a writer. This was before I ever met a media professional. I had no clue how writing could fit into my life beyond mere hobby. By naming the person whose story I thought I was most suited to tell, I was imagining a lane for and defining success for myself in a career path I didn’t know existed. It was on brand. Who else was writing for Black girls outside of the academy? Outside of entertainment? Outside of fiction? At the same time? I was lost, and I’ll be damned if I didn’t fuck around and find out.

During the personal narrative op-ed wave of the early 2010’s (who remembers xojane.com?), the articles I wrote about Black women in pop culture helped launch my media career. I fought to bring Black lens to Refinery29 when I colluded with my work homegirls to launch Unbothered. I coined and wrote a definitive text on trap feminism. People pay me to come talk about it at universities and conferences. I launched this Substack to keep that framework active and relevant. I started the only podcast exclusively about female and queer rap. And as of today, I co-penned a memoir with the female rapper who is the sole reason “bad bitch” is a term of reverence.

Now what?!

AITA? I Hate 'How To Die Alone's Main Character

Sesali — Wed, 02 Oct 2024 16:32:43 GMT

I’ve been looking forward to Natasha Rothwell’s How To Die Alone. One of my freelance gigs was copywriting for Onyx Collective’s social marketing team, so I knew it was coming for a long time. It’s a show with a fat, Black woman as the lead. I didn’t need to know any more about it to be excited. So please know that it brings me no joy to share this. Whi…

The Wiz on Broadway Isn't Black Enough for Me

Sesali — Fri, 16 Aug 2024 18:43:44 GMT

I am a lifelong lover of The Wiz (the 1978 Motown adaptation). It’s one of the first movies I ever watched. My Uncle Derrick (not by blood, just one of my daddy’s homeboys) played one of the crows in it. My obsession with the Poison Poppies was an early sign of my allegiance to Hoochie culture. So you better believe I carried my ass down to the Marquis theater to see the Broadway revival this year, not once, but twice. My first show was during opening weekend, with Wayne Brady playing the titular role. I left the mega hotel excited that I could cross ‘THE WIZ ON BROADWAY’ off my bucket list, but disappointed by the production. The costumes looked cheap, straight from Amazon. The show had none of the spark or spunk that made the movie so special. The set design was rudimentary, like I was watching an end-of-year play at a well-funded private school, not a performance in the epicenter of stage performance. I wasn’t wowed or dazzled. The whole thing just felt flat and stiff, like a really bad silk press. And I wasn’t the only one who felt that way. Reviews of the show have been generally negative, and after giving The Wiz a second chance earlier this month with my 14-year-old niece, I think I know why. It’s something theater critics missed (because most of them are white) and probably wouldn’t have been allowed to publish even if they caught it. The Wiz revival flops because it’s not Black enough.