It has taken four years to realize the what and why of this now annual phenomenon. It begins with me wondering if I should increase my antidepressant dosage. Then I wonder if what I’m feeling is due to menopause. As I slack off of work, I wonder if it’s a fear of success. And then, finally, it hits me: the body is remembering where it was and how it felt four years ago.

Four years ago, my mother, Jo-Ann, was still in rehabilitation after a month long hospital stay. I would visit her every other day, one of my brother’s would be there when I wasn’t. I’m not going to go into all of the details here. They are in my book Breath by Breath: A Journey of Yoga & Loss. My body remembers the tension, the hope, the future planning. Then it quickly pivots to the dreams left unfulfilled. Things like helping Mommy not only regain her physical strength but also a passion for life that we were going to make manifest through a family vacation to the Caribbean. I imagined her marveling at the crystal water, eating tropical fruit and admiring the work of local crafts people. She loved good, whimsical craftsmanship.

If you are grieving, know that the yearning for your loved one never truly goes away. It reshapes itself. The texture may soften. The waves that come during the acute stage of grief are fewer and less overwhelming but they will always find a way to touch the shore. Sometimes the waves will wash over you. Sometimes the waves will rock you. Sometimes the waves will knock you down. This is what happens when the love is still searching for who was once present on earth.

Grief may appear as mysterious body aches. Nothing too serious, just a constant discomfort with seemingly no cause. Even with a daily asana practice, my body has been feeling tight and heavy. That is my grief resurfacing, the memory of loss that will always remain in my cells. When I notice the heaviness, I pause and take a deep breath, reconnecting with my prana (life force). I pause. I recognize. I try to pull myself back together — back to life. Sometimes I’m successful and when I’m not, I accept it. I am over trying to “fix” it — naming it is enough.

As anyone who has faced tremendous loss knows, there is a permanent space within your soul that was filled by your loved one. For me, this hole manifests as an insatiable hunger. No matter what or how much I eat, I cannot find satisfaction. A wormhole was created when my mother left the physical world. During this time of year, it grows wider and deeper sucking in my energy, my drive and my focus. The widening, unrelenting hole causes me to constantly look for food to fill the space.

Currently, in my freezer, are two mostly eaten pints of ice cream, apple fritters (thawed out for the weekend) and two pounds of butter that will be thawed out and transitioned into either cake, cookies or brownies. As an advocate and a person that leads a healthy lifestyle, I know that I’m causing inflammation throughout my body by eating this way. But it’s either this, or curling up into a ball of misery. Mental health is as important as physical health and I know that this is temporary. I’m also eating my usual, healthy whole-food, vegetarian diet along side it. Balance, am I right?

Thankfully, the light of summer helps during this time of struggle. It is the most natural, easy and healthy way that I know to try to regain my zapped energy. When I go outside, usually three times a day to take out my dog Theo, I try to turn my attention to the light touching my skin. I notice the warmth or the extreme heat of it. I notice my breath. I notice the state of the trees as we are still in drought conditions.

I ask the sun not only for light and energy but also for it to illuminate the many happy times I spent with my mother before her hospitalizations. This always brings a smile to my face in spite of the sounds of her last, conscious days. Those days had a soundtrack of extreme pain, anguish and uncertainty. They are especially loud and vivid as the memories rush back, uninvited.

Now that I have clarity around the cause of my malaise,“the ancestorversary,” I speak to my mother, Jo-Ann and my other ancestors more. We speak formally every Friday, the day of Venus, in an exchange of love, thanksgiving, updates and even laughter. The most poignant of these conversations, so far, was when I was joined by my two-year-old nephew, Levi.

I sat on my cognac colored Moroccan pouf in front of the pine trunk turned altar. On the altar, on top of a puja cloth,Mommy sits in the center accompanied by Lakshmi the goddess of beauty and abundance. To their right sit my maternal grandparents. In front of my grandparents, sits a newly discovered picture of my Great Uncle George who lost his life in World War II. He was my grandmother’s younger brother. To the left of my mother is my Uncle Jimmy — my only uncle related to me by blood. To the side of my grandparents I move my Aunt Barbara closer to the family and bring Aunt Nancy over from her usual perch on my landing.

Levi quietly settles in my lap and we breathe together. I tap my singing bowl three times. The sandalwood incense smoke wafts gently. I introduce Levi to his family. I introduce the family to Levi and tell them how smart and sweet he is. I then tell Levi that he comes from greatness. I tell him that these folks watch over him. I tell him that more than anything, and most importantly, he comes from an unending depth of love.

Tears roll down my cheeks. Levi does not notice. He simply continues to look at the pictures, quiet and still. He is taking in the love of generations. I touch my tears and gently give them to my Grandma and my Mommy. In this moment, everyone is home.

Julie S. Holly teaches yoga, somatics, and the philosophy that holds them. Her newsletter is for practitioners and teachers who want depth without the gloss: notes on the body, the sacred, and the work of staying beautifully awake.

Cursive is about flow and personality. Yes, you are taught the proper, classical way to form the cursive letters but as you get older and more comfortable having pen to paper, you slowly stray from the foundations and boundaries to form something uniquely you. A form of self-expression and even a way of meditating. It is as if your hand becomes guided by a different Self instead of what society has dictated and you express both freely and authentically.

My Self is currently teaching me how to master my becoming. It has been a serious journey since the loss of my mother almost four years ago. Losing her has caused a slow rebirth on every level. My pilgrimage to India during the winter of 2024/25 was another pivotal moment that is reshaping me. Something, still unknown, cracked open inside of me and I’m still reconciling it.

As I transform a few things are landing for me. I’m choosing to share because maybe you too are on a path unknown to all except the Spirit.

I’m being called to Beauty. The moment that I stepped out of the airport in Chennai, India I felt the presence of my mother as well as the Great Goddess. These two beings are beauty embodied. Not only is my mother beautiful (yes, I speak of her in the present tense) because she is mine, but by most beauty standards she is objectively beautiful. But more importantly, my mother’s soul is overwhelming kind, loving and overflowing with generosity. As I walked the great Nataraj temple in Chidambaram and the Meenakshi temple in Madurai, I felt her walking beside me.

The Goddess, no matter her aspect, is not only physical beauty, but She is the all of beauty: the compassion, the rays of the sun reflecting on the waters, the moon’s glow. She is the deep black of healthy, nourishing earth and the black of the night’s sky that reminds of our infinitude. She is the fierceness of the fire that urges us to keep moving forward even when faced with adversity. She is the beauty of continual transformation as we are lead by the Self.

At night, no matter the phase of the moon, I see my mother in it being held against the black of the Great Mother. This beauty, this unfathomable love, quiets my own spirit. It is the ultimate beauty the kind that can only be described as awe. It feeds and stills me as the unsteadiness tries to consume me.

I’m choosing softness. This is beyond the #softlife motif that has been trending for the last several years. Instead, it’s about leaving my mark through expansion and inclusion without diminishing myself. In practice, it is being of service on a micro level with the intention of creating an example. It manifests as my humble pollinator garden. It is having my two-year-old nephew on my lap as we meditate in honor of our ancestors. It looks like beginning my day with my puppy on my chest as we commit once again to take care of one another.

My softness is nourishing myself. It’s keeping good company — folks that invite and challenge me to expand. It’s about strategically spending my money — purchases made and causes supported mindfully instead of emotionally. It’s about reducing my time on social media and being highly selective about whom and what deserves my engagement.

I’m staying open and receptive to the shift. Where is dharma directing me to go? I have always trusted The Flow. I don’t manifest. I plan as needed. Yoga has taught me about the quiet skill that is needed in order to trust. This trust is not reliant on society and its systems. It is instead trusting the Self, the part of you that has always existed.

Once you have met and learned to listen to this Self, you can live fearlessly. It has become cliche (thanks social media) but the Divine really does have your back. The Divine has your back because the Divine is actually you.

Shifting and eventually becoming can be unsettling. But as we are shaken, we need to feel into the in-between space, the blackness of the night, to feel what is trying to be revealed. Don’t look for signs with your eyes. Feel for signs in your energetic body. While practicing this, please keep in mind that the energy may not lead you to places that you want to go. Instead, you may be lead to where you need to go in order to realize your expansion.

Tools for the Journey

One thing that has been revealed to me in these unsteady times is to appreciate the nuances of the seasons. Here in the West, we have lost touch with the gifts that each season offers. For that reason, I have created The Four Seasons of the Sacred Self 30-day journal series. The first volume, Sacred Radiance A 30 Day Journal for Meditation and Creative Action is now available. In it, you will learn how to create your sacred space, set an intention for the season and corresponding breath work for your ceremony to open your season. Then, over the course of 30 days, you will be prompted to go deeper so that you can meet your Self and allow her to guide you.

In addition to using the Sacred Radiance journal, I highly recommend that you engage in moving your body daily. I teach yoga asana and advocate it strongly (of course!) but maybe you’re drawn to dancing, running, walking or swimming. All of these movements allow the mind to break free from our daily tasks and tap into The Flow. This is key to hearing that voice and receiving guidance.

Finally, meditate. Start small if the practice is new to you. Two minutes of sitting in silence is enough in the beginning. For me, I allow the Self to dictate how long I sit for each session. While you’re sitting, as you watch the thoughts, notice the space between the thoughts, between the breath. That is the space where you will be able to connect profoundly with the Self. There are prompts in the Sacred Radiance journal that can help with this as well.

It is my hope that this essay helps you feel not only more steady, but more free. It’s ok to let go and to trust. The Divine has you covered, and you, beautiful one, are the Divine.

In Beauty,

Julie

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I was born with metatarsus adductus — the front part of my right foot curves inward pretty radically. When I was growing up, the other kids would say, “you walk funny.” I never knew what they meant until I was in the ninth grade and caught my reflection in the glass of the school door as I walked toward it.

Let me be clear, my condition is not debilitating nor does it impede my quality of life. But I wanted to share it with you because before I started practicing alignment based postural yoga (asana), I would kick my left ankle once or twice a week when I was walking. The pain varied depending on the shoe and my speed. There were even a few times when I broke the skin.

There is a growing number of yoga want-to-be-influencers that are trying to build their brand by spreading, falsely, that alignment in asana doesn’t matter or that it is causing harm. Before I dive in, let me say that, yes, a lot of what you may hear in a yoga class is anecdotal and/or designed to be digestible for lay persons. The technical ins and outs are generally reserved for teacher trainings/CEUs or workshops. Just because a teacher chooses non-scientific terms to convey a direction, does not mean that they are unaware of the kinesiology behind it.

Why the Alignment Matters:

Movement trains your body and sometimes instructions given by your teacher will be difficult for you to perform in the beginning. If an alignment is impossible for you, a qualified teacher will show you alternative movements, how to use props and help you discern if this is something that your body simply does not do or if it’s something that the mind isn’t ready for the body to attempt.

I was once on a yoga teacher training faculty where a co-trainer seemed to have taught that tadasana (mountain pose) was simply standing in a way that is comfortable. This is an incompetent teaching. Tadasana is what personal trainers refer to as standing in anatomical neutral. Tadasana is an aligned posture that allows the body's muscle systems to work synergistically — agonists and antagonists in proper relationship, stabilizers doing their job — rather than recruiting compensatory patterns that burn energy and degrade signal. Of course, adjust for larger frames, scoliosis, the ability to stand and other things that may prevent a student from performing the pose in the most traditional way.

Tadasana can be taught while seated in a chair, with the integrity of the asana intact. Teachers with experience working with clients of all ages, body types and abilities know how to do this. Those teachers who lack this skill, attack the alignment instead of embracing the education.

Alignment is not ableism. Alignment is a scientific method that cares for the kinetic chain of yoga and movement students. Keep in mind that our bones are constantly remodeling. They do this based on the information that we give to them from our movements and how we exist statically. If you are a teacher in this space and were not taught alignment as well as modifications for body inclusivity, you need CEUs.

As a person with metatarsus adductus, I had to work at having my feet parallel in tadasana. I am grateful to my early teachers that taught me how to come into tadasana instead of “inviting me to stand how ever is most comfortable.” If they did not apply their knowledge to my body, I would still be kicking my left ankle as I walked. Now, that my body has been trained over years of practice to come to tadasana, that minor inconvenience has been removed from my life. This is why you teach the pose and modify as needed. Asana is prescriptive. It has been tested. It works.

Alignment Builds Wisdom:

As I mentioned, we are constantly teaching the body how to remodel itself. Practicing and studying the body’s alignment helps us develop wisdom that we take off of the mat. This wisdom can help prevent new injuries as well as help in the healing process.

I remember seeing a private client that was having issues with lifting weights as well as anything heavy in her household. Due to developing chronic shoulder pain, she thought that her years of lifting were behind her. After I analyzed the way that she was moving especially her arms’ relationship with her shoulders, I noticed the misalignment that she had taught her body. When articulating her arm, she was not moving from the stability of her shoulder. Instead, she was moving and more importantly, lifting objects without first rooting the head of her arm bone into her shoulder socket. Once we fixed that with simple alignment based exercises, she not only returned to weight training but she was also able to move through her daily activities without pain and more range of motion.

If I invited my student to continue to move “in a way that feels good,” she never would have gained wisdom about her body or had her breakthrough. This is why alignment is the more compassionate teacher. It is the most caring way to bring your knowledge as a trained professional to those seeking your guidance.

Taken out of the yoga studio, alignment simply becomes healthy bio-mechanics. In that framing, there is no controversy. The attack on alignment is bizarre. In a physical practice that includes standing on your head, why in the world would teaching correct bio-mechanics be questioned? What is it about Western asana instruction that makes people think that emotions supersede safety?

The only conclusion that I can come to is clicks. Social media thrives on controversy and what could be more controversial than coming after people dedicated to efficacy, safety and longevity in the practice? If you dare to claim to be a professional yoga teacher, then please know that your students’ well-being is paramount to brand deals and likes.

Alignment Brings Clarity:

Imagine trying to get a clear message with weak wi-fi. That’s what happens when the body is constantly misaligned. Chronic misalignment causes low-grade muscle tension and the body can enter fight/flight/fawn mode. Without gentle correction, this becomes your baseline way of being adding to stress which increases inflammation that leads to dis-ease.

Alignment is even more important as we age, affecting our proprioception — the ability to know where we are in space. Without this, it’s impossible to balance and movements like walking, running and even dancing become more challenging. All of this is due to sending false data to the brain over a long period of time.

Just as misalignment affects the gross body the subtle body can also fall victim. Think of the nadis as the nervous system of your subtle body. Like the gross nervous system, they send signals particularly to the chakras. Remember that the chakras, although they are part of the subtle body, influence the gross body. For example, when there is misalignment in the upper body, the breath can feel tight or uneven. You may also have a case of “the blues” that you can’t shake. Both indicate imbalance in the anahata chakra (heart center). The re-balancing of anahata begins with sliding the shoulder blades down and in towards the spine, providing a subtle lift of the heart and giving the lungs more room to expand as you inhale.

Additionally, the chakras line up along the spine, with the crown floating just above the head. The sahasrara chakra is the entry point for spiritual transmission. Yes, there are certain medical conditions that will prevent an unkinked spine but even in those cases, small gains can be made to increase alignment, comfort and better balance to the chakras.

Final Thoughts:

When you are beginning a yoga (or really any movement) practice that emphasizes correct alignment of the body, you are going to feel uncomfortable. This is normal and expected. Both your body and your brain are unlearning and relearning patterns.

On the surface, “if it feels good,” seems like kindness. In reality, it is an act of neutrality that is antithetical to the concept of instructing. As teachers and trainers, it is our job to not only guide our students but to also help them grow their practice.

Growth happens when we are challenged physically, intellectually and spiritually. That is the yoga.

All skeleton stock photos provided by Canva.

Julie S. Holly teaches yoga, somatics, and the philosophy that holds them. Her newsletter is for practitioners and teachers who want depth without the gloss. She believes that yoga leads us to the sacred work of staying beautifully awake. Her latest work, Sacred Radiance: A 30 Day Journal for Meditation and Creativity is now available through Amazon as well as her memoir Breath by Breath: A Journey of Yoga & Loss. For more information about her work visit JulieSHolly.com

Like so many solopreneurs, I used the excuse of “I need it for business” to stop me from deleting it. And, yes, over my 16 years of teaching yoga, I did acquire a few clients that found me on the platform. That was back when you could actually see your friends’ posts and posts from pages that you took the time to follow. That pipeline ended when Facebook discovered that it was more profitable to subject us to more and more ads instead of the vacation pics and breakfasts of our friends.

I should have left in 2018 when it became public knowledge that Facebook allowed our data to be harvested and weaponized against democracy in the Cambridge Analytica scandal. Because of the psychological profiles that were assembled, ads became more personalized and targeted towards the most vulnerable. Ultimately this resulted in the current President’s first term in 2016.

In yoga, we are to follow the concept called satya, meaning truthfulness. As I deepen my own practice and pivot my teaching back to the core principles of the practice, it is my desire to lead by example. Ultimately, it isn’t the number of students that I teach, it’s the quality and accuracy of the teaching that I put out into the world that matters.

To me, I can’t be honest and serious about defending democracy while at the same time participating on the very platform that was instrumental in its dismantling. That is not living satya. That is performance. That is diluting myself to be more palpable to the masses.

I did not say all of this on Facebook because I believe that everyone has their own reasons to stay or leave the platform. Instead, I decided to bow out gracefully, and even offered a parting gift. This gift is my Chakra Manual that is offered in exchange for keeping in touch via email. For my fellow solopreneurs, you own your email list. You do not own your Facebook following. Potential clients are more likely to purchase from you after trust is built through email, not social media.The key to the email capture is to not make people feel shitty about staying on the platform. Instead, the key is to warmly welcome them to participate with the next phase of your journey.

Before you go, change your profile picture. This will increase the reach of your farewell message by about fifty percent. I had my first farewell in the caption and the link to my parting gift as the first comment. I used kit.com to build my landing page, it is free for your first 1000 on your list. You can also simply drop your Substack link in the comments as your incentive. On the eve of my departure, I posted a picture and a thank you message to my friends and followers. I also let them know that this is the last opportunity to get their free gift so that we can stay in touch. I also suggest reaching out to some folks via direct message especially since the algorithm can be slippery when it comes to reach.

After I orchestrated my farewell, I exported my data from Facebook to my device. There is an extensive list of choices in the export list and you can choose the timeframe from 30 days ago to your entire Facebook history. This allows you to have your photos, videos including those that you are tagged in. claude.ai recommended exporting as HTML and that’s what I did. The other thing that you want to check is any accounts that you may log into with Facebook and then set up an alternative login.

To be clear, it wasn’t only the fall of democracy that inspired me to leave. I found myself going on the platform more out of habit than interest. I rarely see friends’ posts. Instead, I see people who sponsor posts that appear in my feed as if we’re friends. And of course, there are the endless ads. For every post from someone that you know, there seems to be ten ads.

And then there is the overwhelming hostility. Simple questions, asked to ascertain clarity can be ridiculed. A simple comment on your Senator’s post can lead to threats (this has actually happened to me). Instead of you and the people that you thought were your friends engaging in dialogue, you both reach for the “block” option.

I remember when Facebook was a lot of fun. I had my farm to manage. I dabbled in the mob. I posted my celebrity doppelgänger and posted my favorite cartoon character. I loved watching my friends post their children’s first day of school of pictures and graduation. I loved being held by community when I lost my mother. But, sadly, that Facebook simply doesn’t exist anymore.

In the spirit of satya, let me also say that I have yet to delete Instagram. I still find it to be funny and I send countless memes and reels to friends throughout the day. I rarely post there these days. To paraphrase another Substsacker: why give Zuck free content?

My hope now is that this space, Substack, stays free of ads and that this community continues creating and sharing stellar content. I witness fellow creators sharing their satya here daily: essays, journalism, paintings, poetry, history lessons, political opinions, life abroad, photography, thrift store finds, interior design and recipes. It is peaceful and educational here. Hopefully, I won’t feel the need to delete my account anytime soon.

I’ve been a bit quiet here on Substack with my essays. Partly because so much bullshit has been happening that it’s been difficult to focus on just one thing. And the other reason is nervous system management. But here’s a fact: my words are my best weapon. They are the weapon that I wield against tyranny and stupidity and by releasing them onto the page, it calms my nerves.

First, let me go for the low hanging fruit: the blindingly conservative. In the name of “saving the lives of the unborn” you knowingly voted for a 34 time convicted felon. A man that was found civilly liable for rape. A man that is obviously sick on every metric of sickness: mental sickness, physical sickness and spiritual sickness. I have read the Holy Bible, no, not his version. I will tell you plainly: He is not a Christian. You were conned. Bigly.

The teachings of Jesus, in spite of the history of the “Christian world” do not condone hatred in any form. They do not condone kidnapping leaders of sovereign nations. They don’t allow you to choose who is and who is not a terrorist. The teachings of Christ certainly do not condone the murder of 150 little girls that never made it home from school.

Now let’s move on to the blindingly progressive, the ones that are still blaming our first woman, first Black VICE President for the conflict in Gaza. Ignoring, as they did the entire election season, the proxy war in Sudan and Putin’s invasion of Ukraine. They still choose to blame Kamala. Ignoring the kidnapping of the President of Venezuela. Ignoring torturing and starving the people of Cuba. Ignoring the murder of 150 school girls in Iran. Their singular focus is Gaza and blaming, even now that she’s a private citizen, Kamala Harris for it. No one told me that blaming the Black lady was part of the “progressive” white “progressive” playbook.

Real progress should focus on solutions.

The problem with extremists is their unwavering adherence to certainty. To be certain is to be stupid. Certainty gets people killed. Certainty makes the world small. Certainty lives in the realms of the asuras, the demons of Vedic myth.

How do we defend ourselves against certainty? We model ourselves after the Goddess Durga, she who is everything and is also herself. She is the embodiment of uncertainty. She is Durga and Kali and Lakshmi and Lolita and Meenakshi and you and me and never is she not Durga. Are you confused? Good. Confusion is the first step into wisdom.

Let me break this down more. Before there was “god” there was “goddess.” She is found throughout the world, long before the global patriarchy flipped the script. Not only is she Durga but she’s also Yemoja and Isis and countless other names written into the stars and the memory of the Universe.

Back to the goddess as Durga, specifically because it’s one my favorite stories of all time. Keep in mind, that I will tell this story my way. I will reference a book at the end that I highly recommend if you want the version not colored by me and current events.

A long time ago a god gave a boon to demon named Sumbha a demon that wanted immortality and wanted to be able to defeat the devas (gods) themselves as well as rule over men. Being a demon, and perhaps founder of the patriarchy, he left out the part about being killed by a goddess. In his arrogance, he took over all three worlds ruled by gods and men. He took their treasure. He took the women for his own. He spread destruction on a whim.

Meanwhile, minding her business, in the Himalayas, the Devi dwelled. She has many names denoting her many aspects but for the sake of simplicity we will call her Durga.

Sumbha’s minions spy her and report back to him about her great beauty. Don’t you want to possess something so beautiful? They list all of the other objects that he has stolen one more beautiful and powerful than the next. It only makes sense that you take her…

After being taunted by his minions, Sumbha sends the great demon Sugriva to collect Durga from her home where she’s sipping tea and living her best life. The great demon lays out everything that his boss owns, all the buildings with his name on them, and says that the only thing missing is her.

She harkens back to a vow she made long ago: if he can beat me in battle, I will be his wife.

Sugriva slithers back to his boss and tells him of Durga’s challenge. Sumbha’s fragile masculinity is offended, of course, because demon’s are alphas. He then orders an entire army to go and “bring that vile woman here by force, dragging her by her hair, kicking and screaming.” Remove her control over her own body by force so that she is forced to have my children.

Durga is waiting on the mountain top astride her great lion, unbothered. They quickly dispatch the army against her. They were light work for Durga, dispatched quickly and humiliated. So they return to battle with an even larger army. And now, she is bothered. So she scowls and from her rage leaps forth, from between her brows, Kali, armed with a sword and a noose, clad in tiger skin and a garland of skulls.

Kali screams and the world goes silent, if only it did that now when women screamed. When women scream that their rights are being taken, or when they hold the body of their child in their arms.

Kali’s tongue lolls from her mouth and she goes into action with sword and not only kills but devours her enemies. She cleanses the world of this group of demons as rage made manifest. Sweetness does not remove demons. Rage put into action does. Kali is not only righteous rage but she is the turning of time itself. She is the ender of all things. She devours relentlessly.

There is more demon slaying including the big boss, Sumbha but I’ll stop the story here, for now, because we have arrived at Kali. Kali the ever turning and changing. Kali, the personification of uncertainty. Kali the devourer that ensures that all things, good and bad, will come to an end. Most of the time through rage.

We have been taught, as women in general, as Black women in particular, that rage is something that must be controlled at all costs. (Of course, in the yoga world, we have the “good vibes only” sect which warrant their own essay). But we are the ones that pay the price. What if on that debate stage, Kamala didn’t self censor the silent “motherfucker” that we all felt so deeply that she may as well just said it. What if we as women dipped down and released, like Durga, our sacred rage whenever violence, in word or deed, is committed against any one of us?

This is my invitation to you: release your rage. Scream like a savage. Release your claws and ride your lion into battle. Shit got really real last night. The motherfucker had the world holding its breath and that level of psychological and spiritual warfare must come to an end.

We are Durga! We are Kali Maa! It is time to wear your tiger skin, your garland of skulls, sword and noose in hand and attack these demons.

What this looks like on a practical, legal, safe manner is this:

1. If you’re a writer, visual or performing artist use your gifts to spread the righteous rage. Rage is the only thing that will save us.

2. Learn history from real sources like books written by historians. Read historians that write from both conservative and liberal points of view. Read historians that don’t look like you.

3. Get to know people that are different than you. Economically, socially, religiously, educationally, generationally, gender identifyingly, and yes politically. Do not rely on your “certainty” of someone else’s lived experience.

4. Stay in the questions. Once you think that you know, know that there is still more to know.

5. Rage on responsibly.

The Devi Durga’s blessing to you “Hearing of my glory, my auspicious manifestations, and my prowess in battles, they become fearless.”

Fearlessly speak your mind. Fearlessly stand in truth. Fearlessly be yourself.

Reference: In Praise of the Goddess. The Devimahatmya and Its Meaning by Devadatta Kali

If this sounds familiar to you, let me tell you this: there is nothing wrong with you. The fact that you are upset and feeling dis-regulated is proof of your humanity and empathy. There are people saying that you are “too sensitive.” You are sensitive because you care. Others are saying that you are overreacting. You are reacting to injustice and inhumanity. And still others are saying that you are allowing anger to take over and because of this, you’re adding to the negativity. You are angry because injustice warrants your anger. You are not broken, even though the system is trying its damndest to break you.

What you are feeling is a normal response to abnormal conditions:

• Global political instability

• A loss of cultural and social norms

• Cruelty moving so quickly that we have no time to grieve

• The quiet, constant dread of what’s coming at us next

• the exhaustion of trying to remain human

  

As a dedicated yoga practitioner and teacher with over 15 years of experience, I have designed a seven week program to help you navigate these tumultuous times while protecting your health and sanity. The 7-Week Nervous System Reset: The Rebel’s Path to Calm is a beginner-friendly series. We fight daily for humanity and decency, pushing back when things got critical and as they get more unbearable by the day. This is not the time for performative yoga. Instead, it is the time of yoga that performs.

I invite you to experience yoga as it was meant to be: a practice of resilience, clarity, and inner balance.

The last thing that those in power want is for us to keep our heads while they consistently try to drive us to madness. The antidote is to stay calm. Calm is how we stay connected to truth. Calm is how we avoid being manipulated. Calm is how we plan our next steps as we construct the new world in our image. Calm is how we continue to love even when hate constantly gets amplified.

Each week of the series, you will receive a new tool to manage your stress and return to a state of equilibrium. Your body will be less tense and stronger. Your mind will be able to return to a state of peace no matter the chaos. Your soul will feel refreshed and renewed.

During our time together, yes, you will learn yoga but more importantly you will rediscover the you that exists independent of chaos.You will learn to notice your body and its signals. You will notice the quality of your breath and how to enhance it. You will notice your thoughts through the science of meditation. You will notice how intuition paired with movement de-stresses your body. You will discover your strength through classic yoga poses. Our penultimate session releases the magic of vinyasa flow, a meditation of movement. And our finale brings us rest through the art of restorative yoga.

Again, this is a beginner friendly practice that is appropriate for all levels of practitioners. It is online, with recordings available. You practice in the comfort of your own space at your own pace. You don’t need to arrive flexible. You don’t need to be athletic. You do not need to be woo-woo. You only need a willingness to see and be yourself.

As a professional yoga teacher, it is my dharma (duty) to stand in the gap and not flinch when the world gets rocky. I do this to help lead you to the other side and remind you that this turmoil is temporary. For too long, the yoga and wellness worlds have been influenced by trends and gimmicks and moving away from the true roots. Those roots are the reason why these systems and philosophies have helped millions of people achieve their wellness goals for thousands of years.

I’m not interested in gimmicks.

I’m interested in:

• what works

• what heals

• what stabilizes

• what strengthens your ability to live, lead, and choose wisely

This is the rebel’s path to calm.
And it begins with one regulated breath.

If you’d like to join us, details are below.

With you,
Julie

REGISTER HERE. Can’t make it live? Recordings will be available. Our journey begins Wednesday, February 18th at 7:00 PM ET and continues for the next six Wednesdays.

You have permission to be grounded, even in chaos. It isn't easy fighting against the tide, to find steadfast footing amid incredible forces. As the waves attempt to knock us off our feet, we have the power to rise above the current. Self care is community care - maybe its most important role in this time of upheaval and injustice. Join me for a 7-week series specifically curated for rebels and resisters who are ready to recharge and fortify. This series offers space and tools to bolster resilience and refresh physical, mental and emotional power so you'll be even better for the next waves we know are coming.

Register Here for the 7 Week Nervous System Reset: The Rebel’s Path to Calm

Here’s what to expect:

Week 1: Noticing Your Body What signals is your body sending you regarding the state of your nervous system? In our first practice of 7, we will do simple postures and movements that invite you to dive down and into your body and its sensations. Props: tennis ball, 2 blocks, 1 strap

Week 2: Noticing Your Breath When we’re under stress, our breathing becomes shallow and our bodies are not receiving the full amount of vital oxygen that it needs. In our second of 7 practices we will explore the ancient science of pranayama (breath work). You will be taught several methods so that you can reveal what works best for calming your unique nervous system. We will then weave some of these techniques into future weeks. Props: blankets or cushions for sitting

Week 3: Noticing Your Thoughts This is our most powerful cheat code when it comes to stress management. In our third of 7 practices, we will focus on meditation. By observing our thoughts, we can begin to let go of what no longer serves and what needs to be addressed. This will allow the necessary space for the brain and nerves to settle. Props: blankets or cushions for sitting

Week 4: Noticing Your Movements When we are chronically stressed, we don’t realize how much tension our body is holding and where. Somatic movement occurs when we move with the intuitive nature of our nervous system. It is unstructured, satisfying and deeply healing. This is our week 4 practice.

Week 5: Finding Your Strength Stress occurs when we feel out of control of our body and environment. A structural yoga practice offers the opportunity for you to strengthen with softness. Our week 5 practice of 7 features more traditional yoga postures, precise instructions, and variations guiding you to move your body with deep intention, tapping into your reservoir of resilience. Props: blocks, strap

Week 6: Finding Your Vitality Being stressed drains our energy. Yoga’s sequenced practice, “Vinyasa flow” offers the opportunity to clear your mind as you move your body with the flow of breath. This ancient practice is designed to recharge your energy while simultaneously calming your mind. Think of it as a moving meditation.

Week 7: Finding Your Stillness: stress can cause us to spin out of control. This is your permission to rest. The final class of this series will focus on a restorative yoga practice for active rest and deep relaxation. Props: bolsters or pillows, blocks

We will meet Wednesday evenings at 7:00 PM ET, online. Link will be provided with registration. I hope to see you there, Freedom Fighters.

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The essay came to mind this evening because far too many of us are waiting to get saved. This desire for salvation comes with what can only be described as a fatal flaw: you will die before your Savior arrives. Let me reframe: you will die before your Savior arrives unless you realize that the Savior that you seek is staring back at you in the mirror.

One of the biggest lessons that I learned after leaving “the church” was that I held the power of my own salvation all along. No, I’m not atheist, in fact I’m far from it. Instead, I have evolved into a creature that realizes that I am the Divine experiencing Herself as me. Just as She is experiencing Herself as you, your pet, your houseplants and that poor spider that you killed.

Before I decided to actually follow the religion that I was already culturally a part of, I knew deep down that the world is more than what we see. This world is a series of frequencies designed by a Divine Hand. What we practice and learn influences this frequency and how we interact with That that is larger than us. I use the feminine pronouns (take that, patriarchy) but in reality It has no gendered nature.

Once I tuned into what I’ll call the Goddess Frequency, my compassion grew. Afterall, how can you willingly destroy a person, an animal, an ecosystem that you know to be divine? I often wonder what future we could build if everyone subscribed to the idea that everything around us is holy.

There are numerous schools of religion and philosophy that teach about salvation and liberation. But there are also philosophies like Tantra that introduce the notion of us being born totally and completely free/liberated/saved. Our job is to first remember our innate freedom and then to celebrate this life.

Can you imagine a world where we don’t have religious dogma dictating every aspect of our lives? A world where you look at your neighbor and see their inherent holiness? Can you imagine marveling at your dog as it goes through its zoomies and realize that those rapid, erratic movements are also prayers and perhaps your dog is realizing its own divine nature?

Remembering who we truly are is how we save ourselves. One way of remembering is the practice of yoga. True yoga receives you where you are and as you are. It is a place to move the body as a form of prayer, each movement a revelation about both your inner and outer worlds. There is no need to be fit or flexible to begin asana (yoga postures) just a willingness to show up for yourself and the courage to continue as more of you is revealed.

But yoga doesn’t stop on the mat. It continues through the careful study of spiritual texts that although ancient, reference these modern times. Whether it’s the Bhagavad Gita that asks us to commit to our duty regardless of the emotion attached, the Devimahatmya that examines the Mother’s love and sacrifice or the Ramayana that teaches about devotion in many forms. These collections of stories are also reflections of our inner worlds and how our inner landscapes escape us and impact our world.

Like most stories, these prominently feature both heroes and villains. The key to understanding the texts, however, is recognizing yourself in both extremes. There is also the remembering that all the players come from the same Source and are divine in their own way. Even the Asuras (demons) can do good sometimes and the Devas (gods) can fall short of perfection.

Once we are introduced to these stories, and have the opportunity to examine them, we learn that the human condition has been consistent for thousands of years. We have always yearned for community, nourishment, safety and an understanding of the mysteries of the soul. Our connection to the asuras and our disconnection from the devas, influence our inner world and every aspect of the outer world.

What spirituality teaches us that religion does not, is that although these stories feature a divine savior, that savior is an archetype of your greatest and highest self. There was never anyone coming to save us, instead, it is up to us to do the work of evolution to save ourselves.

What Evolution Looks Like:

When you begin to look for the answers from within yourself, you are on step one of your evolutionary process. This does not mean that you release all of your teachers but it may look like finding your next teacher. In addition to introducing you to new ideas, books and ways of thinking, this teacher will also share with you the source material that influenced them. This is important! Be wary of teachers, especially in the yoga, wellness, spiritual realms that claim to be the source of information or a rare, singular vessel that has been chosen to receive information. That’s how cults get started.

The desire to get still and meditate speaks to your evolution. When we meditate, we are opening ourselves to a conversation with the part of us that is divine. These conversations allow us to master the artistry of life. Meditation invites you to watch what is taking up space in your mind. Meditation helps you see what actually needs your attention and what needs to be released. This filing system, if you will, brings rejuvenation to the nervous system aiding us in our evolution.

How you begin to care about the vehicle of your soul, your body, is also a sign of your evolution. When you are able to embody the fact that your life is a gift, no matter the circumstances, you move through the world differently. You begin to fight for your right to exist. You fight for clean water and air. You fight for the right to nutritious food and healthcare. You use your body, not to exercise, but for celebration of your miraculous existence. You fuel yourself differently, not only by eating healthy food but by reading books and taking in media that uplifts instead of diminishes this life.

You save yourself.

Saving yourself gives you the capacity to save others. It really is that simple. When we save ourselves, we demolish the diabolical systems around us that turn the gift of life into a nightmare. We do not wait for a Savior. Instead, we turn inwards to the Savior that is Us.

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The murder of Renee Nicole Good, a white woman that got it and was standing up for the disenfranchised of her community, is exactly what Black folks have been warning non-Black communities about for generations. Straight, Protestant, white, land-owning men do not give a rat’s ass about what happens to you or your life. They do not care that you are a wife, mother of three children or that you are a poet. They do not care that your skin is also white. If you are a threat to their power, they will destroy you.

The sources indicate that in 2016, 52% of white women voted for 45/47, in 2020 about 55% and in 2024, 51% of white women voted for him. In short, the majority of white women voters in the United States voted for their own demise rather than voting for a Black woman.

The blame for the current administration, obviously, does not fall exclusively on white women voting against their own rights. Another group that chose persecution is the Latino population. Exit polls and reports indicate that 45/47 won approximately 42–46% of the Latino vote in 2024, depending on the source, with some estimates citing up to 48% in certain analyses. One could only guess, and history shows, that the Latino population naively thought their proximity to whiteness would save them from the horrors of this administration’s overt racism.

Back in 2020, after the extrajudicial execution/cold blooded murder of George Floyd, Americans took to the streets chanting Black Lives Matter. This very low bar for acknowledging existence was met with the phrase All Lives Matter as a counter. The irony, of course, is that the All Lives Matter crowd are now ICE officers that are also committing extrajudicial executions/cold blooded murder and domestic terrorism. The people, white women, that thought that whiteness would preserve them are being murdered by ICE. The people, Latinos, that thought that white proximity would save them are now being terrorized by ICE.

The Bhagavad Gita teaches, “whatever the best among us does, the people do; standard is set, the world follows that.” The message of Black folks ever since they were brought to the Americas and Europe has stayed consistent for over 400 years: Equality. At no moment did Black folks demand or even plot to subjugate those that have subjugated them. And let’s be clear: white men are not the only group that oppresses Black folks but they are the ones the reap the highest benefit. Ask yourself, why does the world follow the whims of bigoted white men instead of the folks that actually stand for liberty and justice for all?

My ultimate goal as a teacher of yoga is to help the world awaken. Before the practice was hijacked by big business and goats, it was a means of figuring out the algorithm of the Self. When we traded in the spiritual aspects of yoga and stepped away from our mission as educators and practitioners, the world did the same. When those of us that seriously study and live yoga stay silent in times of injustice and terror, we render ourselves useless in yoga’s greatest aim which is the evolution of human kind.

The Bhagavad Gita puts it like this, “Everyone’s faith follows their nature… Persons are as good as their hearts. A person is only the heart one is.” And a nation is only as good as the hearts of its people. Look towards the folks that have always spoken out for the good of everyone. The time is now for good people, of all races, no matter how they once voted, to unite. Not only do we need to look at the disasters of our nations past: genocide, enslavement, Jim Crowe, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia and xenophobia just to name a few, but we must also pivot away from the rugged individualism, us versus them mentality, that brought us here. Black folks have been saying this for over 400 years. It is time that we listen to that wisdom.

Time is running out for us to turn the tide for not only American Democracy to survive but also for us all to be safe in this country. I, a proud Black woman, have been ringing the alarm since high school. I learned about the history of my people while at Howard University and had the honor of being taught by professors that rode the Freedom Buses. And now, with 52 years of life experience that includes both micro and macro aggressions, I am choosing to speak out again. I am speaking out so that my year old nephew can work on other issues like sustainability, ending world hunger and cultivating peace and justice. None of these things can happen until we address the racial hatred and wanton ignorance that permeates our society.

And here I am, in 2026, another Black woman hoping that, this time, you will listen. No one is free until everyone is free. Period.

“Whenever decency declines…and indecency rises, then I come forward myself. For goodness’ sake and for evil’s abolition, for the sake of reestablishing decency, I come into being age after age,” Bhagavad Gita, words of Sri Krishna. Now is the time for us to become Krishna-like and return the world to decency. Do not only listen to Black folks, but follow our leadership. We have been here many times before, learn from our experience. Go beyond the headlines and the stereotypes and learn our history. There is a deep, ancient wisdom there as well as endless maps to lead America and the world out of this current nightmare.

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Do you ever notice that we keep falling into the same trap? We constantly feed the energy that hurts us. This looks like constant complaining, continuously posting our latest rant and sharing memes that serve no other purpose than generating clicks and reposts. After doomscrolling and despairing, we then wonder why the world is seemingly and irretrievably in a perilous state.

This is by no means an admonishment, I too am guilty. Instead, this is an attempt to remind myself and inspire others to communicate responsibly. Our words, whether written or spoken cast spells. Ask yourself the classic question: are you a good witch or a bad witch? And keep in mind that “not being a witch at all” is not an option!

The Primordial Goddess Vac

In Indian mythology, speech is so important that it is a goddess named Vac. She is not only the goddess of speech, but she is also speech itself. Vac is so powerful that she transcends human speech and is also the speech of all living beings. She is sacred mantra taking form.

Vac is our first clue that words are more than something that we communicate to one another. Words have a resonance and energy that are uniquely their own. For example, some folks view certain words as profane while others cast the spells of the words as a form of empowerment and a means to fight against what can be viewed as oppressive cultural norms. In fact, one of these “profanities” is so potent that it has its own mudra.

Mantra is the nama or name and rupa is the form or mudra. There is extraordinary power in both because Vac is comprised of both. Mantras are a spell that call forth the form of the Divine. That’s why in Western cultures, mantras have been adapted into words called affirmations — a way to recognize the Divine within. In South Asia, mudra is practiced, specific hand movements and positions that represent the Divine’s form and in the West we may recite affirmations with hands at the heart. Both methods are a means to connect with the Divine, in order to cast a spell over the Self.

Vac also serves as a reminder to only say what we mean. When we speak or write with intention we cast a spell throughout the universe. Sometimes our spells are so powerful that they don’t come into fruition until after we have left our bodies. To paraphrase Dr. Maya Angelou, our words cling to our clothing, our furniture, our walls. The energy of our words stays long after we are gone. We must use them responsibly, informed by our highest intentions with the full knowledge that they do, in fact, impact our world for generations.

Visuddha Chakra

Vac appears in each of our bodies as the visuddha chakra or throat chakra. This chakra governs our communication center, both what we say and hear. Visuddha chakra reinforces the need for us to be intentional about communication. This is not only what we say or write to one another as individuals, but what we allow our culture to communicate to society at large. Do we ever stop to wonder why so many of our television shows, movies, books and even games promote violence and even hopelessness? What spell are those in power casting to the rest of us, especially our most vulnerable?

The answer is simple: the powers that be communicate fear, anger, helplessness and isolation to us on a massive scale. Our job is to periodically check out of this algorithm. Yes, log out of your social media from time to time. I do this on weekends and not only that, but I also don’t watch the news on the weekends. This gives my mind and my soul the opportunity to reprogram and rebalance my visuddha chakra.

Practicing a media fast makes me feel refreshed and in control. That’s the beauty of spiritual work: it reminds us that we are in control of our destiny. We do not have to buy into the “reality” sold to us by the status quo. Our job, as spiritual architects, is to take in the information offered, think about it critically then act. Our actions should always come from the space of love, compassion and wisdom. A balanced visuddha chakra also speaks truthfully and seeks information from trusted sources.

That is the yoga.

We are taught early on that the opposite of truth is a lie. In fact, the opposite of truth is repeating a lie until it becomes reality. That is how powerful words are. Depending on the witch casting the spell we collectively create a reality steeped in truth or we create a reality sprouted from a lie that grows like a tumor. For example, when we buy into the lie that we and all beings are separate and different from the Divine, we create a reality of cruelty and a degraded environment.

Practice

In addition to sound, Vac is the manifestation of our breath. When we breathe with intention, we are able to feel into our heart’s deepest desires. Vac was there, in the beginning, when the very first desire was uttered.

This week, sit with your breath. Notice how it feels as it enters and exits your body. What truth is it trying to reveal? What desires do you hold and are they in alignment with your deepest truth or with society’s idea of what you should desire?

Blessing

Mantra holds power. It is the goddess of sound in motion. She is the expression of love in all its forms. This love can appear as memory. The act of remembering Truth is Love and is the most important thing for us to do for one another.

It is my hope that you remember someone that you love and that the love helps you remember all that you are. It is my desire that you speak power over yourself. I hope that this week’s note finds you healthy, balanced and true.

Thank you for taking the time to explore with me. Thank you for learning how to be a spiritual architect and for being dedicated to building a better reality for us all.

Saprema,

Julie

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At first I felt fine, even normal but by late morning on Friday, I experienced what can best be described as a sinking feeling. I could feel the anxiety building as well as that icky weightiness of depression creeping in. I had been on social media that morning and saw the news headlines. Figuring that this would not help what I was already feeling, I decided to take a break from both social media and the news.

Within a few hours I knew that getting off of social media was a stroke of brilliance. Even after I got back on my meds (I found a stocked, in network pharmacy), and began feeling better, I decided to stay offline and away from the news for the entire weekend. The break resulted in a rested mind and calm nervous system.

Stillness and silence are necessary. In our fast-paced, social media saturated world, it can be difficult to find those moments to simply go silent and be still. Even after teaching yoga and meditation for one and a half decades, I can have moments of struggle with simply letting myself be. Like so many Americans, my mind has been hoodwinked into believing that anything short of productivity is chaos.

Obviously, we were not designed to be in constant, voluntary motion. Instead, we are designed to take in Creation and its beauty, music, smells, tastes and opportunities to touch. That is the essence of embodiment.

During one of Theo’s evening walks. I breathed in the majesty of the full moon and allowed myself to be bathed in its light. I felt nourished. I felt reconnected to my late mother, Jo-Ann, and once again felt held by her. This is what we were designed to do — to wonder at our smallness while remembering our vastness. This is what we find when we press pause and unplug. We re-member.

Dhumavati

Dhumavati is the goddess that presides over the void. Unlike the other aspects of the Great Goddess that are lovely, Dhumavati is wan. Her appearance represents the true nature of the void, the place before creation and life.

The void offers us two opportunities. The first is to fall farther away from Reality thus embracing ignorance. The second choice is to sit in the void and notice the Divine silence that must occur before the Creation reemerges. This silence offers the opportunity to imagine a better world while ignorance invites the fires of destruction.

As we take Dhumavati’s lessons out into the world, we can see her at play. Those who have chosen greed over generosity, power over humility or brutality over intellect have submerged themselves into the void of ignorance. Conversely, those that share what little they have, are humble and intellectually curious, have stepped into her void and discovered the power of listening.

She occupies the space between the inhale and exhale, when the body is perfectly still. In that space, she offers rest as well as the space for insights to enter our consciousness. As anyone that practices pranayama (yogic breath practice) knows, the power is in the retention. This is when we are able to be not only our most still, but also our most silent. It is here where we grow and expand.We inhale, or inspiration, retain the breath so that the inspiration may be blessed by the Divine, and as we exhale our inspiration enters the world. It is either something to be accomplished by our own dharmic path, or it is meant to reach another soul that will do the work. This is the magic of the void: by entering it, not only do we tap into our individual consciousness but we are also gifted with a glimpse of Universal Consciousness!

Bagalamukhi

Dhumavati withdraws the light that makes up the void and Bagalamukhi presides over the stillness. On offer in her stillness is the opportunity to change the course of Creation itself. Too many times we do not allow ourselves, our loved ones, those that represent us in public office the space to be still and recalibrate. We are so busy moving through the status quo that we forget that we created the status quo. And since we created it, we can smash it and build back something balanced.

The wonder of Bagalamukhi’s gift, like Dhumavati’s void, is that it only takes a few us to get still, at least in the beginning. How would your life change if you got still and quiet and let the Divine reveal your dharma to you? What would it mean to your family if just one person per generation got still and listened to the warnings and blessings from the Ancestors? What would it mean to a nation, if just one official took the time to ignore partisanship and instead listened to the whispers and wishes of the Universe?

To quote from Kavitha M. Chinnaiyan’s book Shakti Rising: Embracing Shadow and Light on the Goddess Path to Wholeness, “At each step of creation, a particular course was charted that resulted in the cascade of events leading to the present moment. Bagalamukhi’s power of stilling gives creation infinite possibilities in any given moment.”

The world does not need to stay in peril. We can change course at any moment. It takes one of us to begin. And after we begin, we share quiet stillness with a friend, a lover, a member of our family. They share. Next, we have a movement of people that make the conscious decision everyday to heal themselves, to heal their loved ones and ultimately to heal the world. It isn’t magic, it’s yoga. Yoga is the study of the Universe and our place in it. You are successful at yoga when you leave the world better than how you found it.

Practice

This week’s practice is quiet stillness. Start small, just a minute or two any time of day that feels right for you. Focus on that space between your inhale and exhale. Listen for revelations. Over time, you will be able to sit longer. The key is to simply start where you are and build from there, without judgement. Remember, still and quiet. Do not add background noise and sit comfortably. Using a chair is perfectly fine.

As your practice grows, people will notice the change in you. It will be subtle at first, but then your inner peace will grow and radiate. People will ask what changed, These are the people that you bring into the movement. Let it ripple out knowing that the Divine is guiding every being to you and your Glow.

Every soul that you touch, shatters old paradigms and creates space for something more equitable, just, loving and kind.

I bless your service to yourself. It is a gift to be curious and explore deeper truths.

I bless all that will be touched by you as you continue to grow on your journey.

Thank you for taking the time to read my humble offering. It is deeply appreciated.

Saprema,

Julie

As I continue on this journey of spiritual curiosity, my connection to Earth and her inhabitants deepen. This is no accident or woo-woo, glitter covered positive thinking. It is because of argon, a noble gas that is and always has been a part of earth’s atmosphere. Because we breathe argon molecules in and out, and it’s a molecule that never disappears, at one time or another, we have been a part of every living thing: past, present and future.

In David Suzuki’s book, Sacred Balance, he summarizes our relationship with argon gas and by extension each other. “Every breath connects us to all people and all life on Earth. We share the same air, the same atoms, the same living system.” — David Suzuki, The Sacred Balance. This sentence made a profound impact on how I move through this life.

I read Dr. Suzuki’s book before meeting my philosophy teacher, Dr. Douglas Brooks. One of the first lessons that Douglas taught me was this: we are every character in every story. When I pair Dr. Brooks’ teaching with Dr. Suzuki’s , it confirms to. me that we are all in and of this game of life together. And not only that, but we are each other. What uplifts one uplifts all. What harms one, harms all.

The teachings of Tantra explain this phenomenon like this: the living world is the Divine experiencing Itself or put another way, our world is an expression of the ultimate Reality. Not only that, because we are intrinsically Divine, we are limitless. That means that, as sentient, divine beings we have the capacity of both great good as well as deep evil. This dichotomy invites us to shift from a place of judgement to a place of curiosity that will, hopefully, appeal to our greater self and by extension our better selves.

Maya

One translation of the word maya is illusion. Because we are clouded by the illusion of separateness, we are driven to destruction. When you awaken to the fact that you and the ocean are one, it makes it nearly impossible for you to willfully desecrate it with plastics, over fishing, dumping and the like. If you are aware that you are the ocean and still choose to desecrate it, this will also manifest in how you treat your own body. This may look like ingesting ultra-processed foods, illicit drugs, drinking to access and otherwise acting in a destructive manner to the divine vehicle that is your body.

What we do to our natural world, is mirrored by what humans do to each other. In exchange for material prosperity, a small, yet powerful group of humans defile the planet and at the same time cause tremendous harm to other people. This can look like removing sacred trees, blowing off the tops of mountains, industrialized farming and fishing. It is time for these folks to remove maya’s mist from their eyes so that they can understand that they are also harming themselves. To poison the Earth and her children, is to hold that same chalice to your own lips and swigging deeply the poison that you created.

Potential

Whereas we are all a manifestation of the Creator, we are creative. This doesn’t mean that we’re all painters, writers or musicians but it does mean that at anytime we can create a new reality. This often begins by shifting thought patterns. Although I always felt a deep connection to nature, I didn’t always feel that way towards my fellow humans. It was after reading Georg Feuerstein.s book Tantra: The Path of Ecstasy that the aspect of the oneness of humanity truly began to gel for me. Yes, it’s difficult and unnerving to think that you are made of the same stuff as history’s villains and saints but, we all are. This notion creates space for compassion.

Do I believe that there are those around us that are “bad seeds” so to speak? Yes, yes, I do. But even feeling this way reminds me of how Maa Durga wept after slaying demons for they were also her children. I also believe that the demons are in, of and frightening to us because if they did not exist we would not evolve enough to remember that we are ultimately divine. For most of us, the evolution will take place over many lifetimes for just as many reasons.

But for those of us experiencing this revelation now, we must act in Truth. Not with entitlement or high-mindedness but with empathy and compassion. This empathy and compassion extends to the demons because they too are us.

We have the power to create a world, where all points of view are heard and debated before action is taken. Even when we begin on a micro level with our food and clothing choices for example, we are creating something new. As we spread the word about this new thing, the other parts of us (our fellow beings) will do the same and collectively we create a new, and hopefully better, world.

Participation

To turn away from this world and its problems is to turn away from yourself. Too many of us on the spiritual path turn away from the world’s ugliness and to do so is to turn away from the shadows within. Anyone who has experienced profound loss has looked deeply into the abyss and, if able to return, they are now wiser. Shiva, the god most revered in Tantra philosophy, means black. Why? Because only the blackness is infinite. The stars above will all eventually die and return to the black. And it is in this black space of infinity where we find equality. All that is living will die. All that is dead will change. That change manifests into a new thing and so the cycle continues.

The cycle releases no one. It doesn’t matter if you are wealthy or poor, healthy or sick, smart or dull you, me and everything is part of Shiva’s dance. Participating in the dance requires us to look in the mirror and see Shiva. When we look at our pets or the wild beasts, we see Shiva. When we see the trees, the mosses and the flowers, we see Shiva. We feel him underfoot as we walk the beach and we hear his song on the ocean waves. And when we see our fellow human beings, we see ourselves through Shiva’s eyes. That is how we participate in this thing called life with empathy, compassion and even love.

Practice

This week’s practice is to notice the shadows that make you feel disconnected from yourself, from other folks, and from the natural world. Don’t judge, simply notice and sit with those feelings. Then, when you’re ready, journal about these shadows. What comes up for you when the shadows reveal themselves? If you need to, apologize to yourself. This small gentleness towards the self will remove the walls that may be holding back your compassion and empathy towards others.

Gratitude

Be grateful to the thoughts, feelings and actions revealed by the dark. The shadows are endless and hold the most profound lessons and depth of growth.

Thank you for reading this essay. I hope that it inspires you and awakens ancient memories of your divinity.

I open my day by getting grounded. This ritual begins by going outside and walking my puppy Theo. I listen to the birds and bugs as they also begin their day and when the weather is agreeable, I delight in feeling the sunshine on my skin. I breathe in deeply as my muscles get used to moving once again after a restful sleep. Then I come inside, give Theo his breakfast then sit quietly as I sip warm lemon water. This is how I gather the fragments of myself in order to be solid enough to serve my students and my community.

Being of service to people and planet is my dharma, my sacred duty given to me before birth. Each of us enters the world with a dharma and part of the yoga practice is discovering yours, living it and sharing it.

Dharma is integral to the spiritual life. So much so that it is in the first word of the Bhagavad Gita, 700 or so verses from the epic Mahabharata.The Bhagavad Gita takes place on the battlefield of Kuruksetre. On one side of the battlefield is the Kaurava clan who want to make the world their own through evil means. On the other side is Arjuna, a member of the Pandava clan and cousin to the Kaurava’s, who believes in justice and must act on its behalf.

Our hero, Arjuna, is hesitant about his mission which is to kill his cousins. He must be reminded by Lord Krishna who appears by his side as his charioteer, that blood must be shed for the sake of the world’s righteous. Let me state right now, living dharma does not mean that you have to shed blood! In many cases, however, it will require some form of sacrifice.

People that step casually on and off of the spiritual path have many false notions about what spirituality actually is. The best way to delve into this is to say what spirituality is not. It is not a withdrawal from the world. It is not being “above it all.” It is not naiveté that follows blindly without questions.

True spirituality rests in questioning the world around you. That includes authority figures, theories and spiritual leadership. In fact, the Bhagavad Gita is a conversation that consists of Arjuna’s questions to Lord Krishna. It is through asking questions that the spiritual path is revealed to us.

Yogasthaḥ

One of the first lessons that Krishna teaches Arjuna is to stand in his yoga: yogasthah. One of the best ways to get and stay grounded is to know your values and what you stand for. This doesn’t mean that your values can’t continue to unfold. Instead, through questions and observations your values will ripen as your path of dharma continues to reveal itself. You will know if it is a value from the spiritual realm because it will lead you to make this world a better place. It will be selfless, not selfish.

Dharma is an invitation to join the game of life instead of watching from the sidelines. Let me note that our only responsibility is the participation not the outcome of our participation. An easy example is to simply think of planting a sapling whose shade you will never enjoy. The dharma is planting something that will reduce soil erosion, provide fresh air, food for humans and other beings, shelter and yes, shade. Dharma calls us into the long game of not only life but lifetimes.

Kauśala

Our actions should resonate with skill. We do not follow blindly. We interrogate the world and let the answers that arise dictate right action. This also applies to inaction because there are consequences to both. For example, people that are eligible to vote have two choices: vote for someone or something on the ballot or choose to sit it out. There is a consequence to nonparticipation as there is to participation. No matter what, you and those around you will live with the consequences, sometimes for generations. This is why Krishna teaches that action is better than inaction. Action is within our power, inaction diminishes power. Even if we take decisive action and fail, staying true to the dharma, we are better off than if we simply followed the crowd and did the popular or safe thing.

Sadācāra

Sadacara is duty paired with right action. What we believe matters but only if we act on those beliefs. We can not claim to be on the path of Spirit but move through the world lacking empathy. Yes, to be embodied is a gift but we are responsible for how we govern this gift. It is not enough to sit in meditation trying to manifest a better world. Instead the dharma dictates that we do anything and everything in our power to bring that world about. Anything less is a waste of this life that has been divinely gifted to us.

Now What?

The Universe recognizes power. Primal power found in nature. Organized power found in movements. Dangerous power found in selfish individuals. Dharma requires us to tap into our personal power and amplify it in order to progress the evolution of the collective Soul. Like Arjuna, we are called onto the battlefield to stop evil from swallowing up what is just, empathetic and kind. The path of Spirit is courage not fear, boldly standing up for our beliefs instead of hiding away on our meditation cushions.

Dharma reminds us of the secret hidden to us in the West but on full display in the East. It is this: you are an aspect of the Divine. You don’t need permission to step with all of your divine power to set the world back onto the right path.

Practice

The path is always dharma because dharma, when done in unity with the Self, is love in action. Permanently retreating from the world and its problems is adharmic (not dharmic). It is through engagement with the whole life that we are able to evolve and it is this evolution that brings healing not only to ourselves but to all beings.

This week, make a list of no more than three causes that you care about. After you have created your list, begin researching organizations that are already working on these causes. Look at how you can help. This can be as simple as spreading the word about the organization’s existence, to following them on social media, to financial giving or volunteering. Start small from wherever you are with what ever means that you have. The objective is to simply start and to be of service to dharma.

Gratitude

Now, take a moment and thank yourself for reading this article and for holding yourself accountable to the dharma. It takes courage and curiosity to grow.

Thank those that walk this path with you. May our lights combine to illuminate the world.

And I thank you, for spending this time with me. From my soul to yours

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Yes, I know that the PC term is simply “locs”. But the history of this style, at least in the Rastafarian culture of Jamaica, is to inspire dread in your enemies that gaze upon your magnificent matted hair. It is my belief that this style imbues us with the spiritual strength that we need in these challenging times. As a yogi, the devas Shiva and Kali are often described as having matted hair and being two of the most powerful celestials of the myths. Not to mention that each of their names means “black.”

My hair is not the easiest to lock. It is very soft with a loose curl pattern that is shaped more like a crimp than a coil. For locking, coils are better because they naturally grow around one another making the matting process go faster. It is possible, and normal, for hair of an uncoiled texture to lock. The process simple takes longer.

This long process is a time to reflect on my relationship with my hair and connect me with ancestors that I’ve only met in dreams. I postponed my journey by two years. My original plan (that I made in my 30s) was to lock my hair at 50.

This particular hair journey is a calling. It reminds me of many other steps that I’ve taken over my life and career. When I became a religious person, it was a calling. When I later became a spiritual non-religious person, that too was a call. I was called to become a yoga teacher and trainer. And I have been called back to writing and even published my first book, Breath by Breath.

Recent calls in my life have been more profound. The first was my pilgrimage to India earlier this year. My goal was simply to see if I could survive being there. What happened instead was discovering a second home, a deep sense of grounding and hope. India is written onto my bones: the sights, sounds, tastes, smells and spiritual awakening are gifts that will last me a lifetime.

The second call was to lock my hair. Everywhere I turned whether in real life, on television or social media, my heart was drawn to dreadlocks. Particularly, I was drawn to the femininity and majestic look of microlocs. Seeing afro textured hair being easily manipulated to any and every style, without straightening it first, is particularly appealing. It is proof of something that my mother always instilled in me: Black hair is beautiful.

There is power in beauty. Beauty is inner confidence burning bright, lighting the path ahead. Beauty is the sound of your voice speaking its deepest truth. Beauty is growing into and believing your wisdom. Beauty grows deeper as we age, as we become the woman that we could not even imagine being in our wildest dreams.

My locking hair is also the ultimate crown of freedom. There is a magic to waking up, and all that I have to do to my hair is remove its protective bonnet. There is a magic to cleansing my hair and scalp with a simple solution of diluted apple cider vinegar, letting the air dry it perfectly as I go about my day.

Because it is still very early in my journey, I retwist every seven to ten days. Although it is time-consuming (some of the twists had to be untwisted and retwisted completely), it is a meditative way to love myself. As I part and twist my hair, I am reminded of sitting between the knees of my late mother as she would grease my scalp after a shampoo. It is a generational memory that she had of her mother and so on down the line.

I am doing more than simply locking my hair. I am locking in history, memory, love. I am honoring the women that were/are forced to cover their hair. I am rebelling for the women who even in 2025 must straighten their natural hair or cover it with a wig to be seen as professional. I am locking my hair to unlock the chains that were placed on my ancestors.

I am locking my hair to unlock my soul and be free.

I know the news cycle can feel like a hellscape. We’re bombarded with everything that’s been lost. And if things go as planned, we still have 1,334 more days of living through the current administration. So the question becomes: how will we spend that time?

Today, I visited my nephew, Levi. He’s just a year old and beginning to walk — all giggles, wobbles, and pure joy. Like every child, he deserves a future that is just, habitable, and peaceful. That future is not a given. It is our responsibility to create it.

All is not lost.

And if you ever feel like this is the end — that there’s no way back — I invite you to remember the youngest person you know and love. Then act on their behalf. To me, that’s what today is really about.

Yes, our Founding Fathers were deeply flawed. But the idea of this nation — and the ideals they put into writing — are still worth fighting for.

So do what you can.

🖋️ If you’re a writer, write of hope.
🎨 If you’re an artist, create beauty that stirs the soul.
🎤 If you’re a speaker, spread love in action.
📚 If you’re a teacher, teach peace.
🧘‍♀️ And if you’re a yogin, dedicate your practice to moving the world forward.

We have the power — individually and together — to save ourselves and shape a future worthy of at least the next seven generations.

Years ago, one of my yoga mentors shared a story about a workshop that she attended. The woman leading the workshop showed up in spite of the sudden death of her son days before. During our class it was explained that opening the heart (movements that stretch the chest) and in turn the anahata chakra, the heart center, were a natural antidepressant. My mentor further explained that they did these movements throughout the weekend workshop as the lead teacher experienced the deep grief of losing her child. The theory behind using heart opening as an antidepressant relates to the chest being closed when were are emotionally down. Thus, opening the chest can trick the mind into believing that it is experiencing joy.

After my mother died, and I was able to return to my mat, I practiced backbends. They are the best and deepest way to access anahata chakra, daily. It did not work. I blended somatic movement in with classic yoga poses in an attempt to intuitively release the “sad” from my body. It did not work. I go outside daily to walk, be in contact with trees and sunshine and to hear the sounds of nature. It did not work. I eat a rainbow of organic food and take magnesium and ashwanaganda supplements. They also did not work.

I lost my Mom on September 5, 2022. Anyone who has lost a loving and loved parent knows that it is a permanent injury to the soul. It is normal and necessary to grieve. What is not normal is to still have weeks of being paralyzed, unable to work and carrying around what feels like a weighted blanket of emotions almost three years later. My hurt was debilitating and I became the actress playing the role of the fully healed, fully whole yogin.

What drove me to get help was the memory of my mother’s life as a depressive. The situation that triggered her downward slide was identical to mine: the loss of her mother. In the beginning, the signs of my mother’s depression were subtle. It began with a loss of interest in gathering with extended family, something that was a hallmark for her side of the family. As she got older, her symptoms compounded. In addition to depression she became overwhelmed with anxiety. I witnessed her downward slide for 30 plus years suggesting both homeopathic and allopathic remedies. She never got treatment and, I believe, that her anxiety, especially those centered around medical visits, eventually lead to her sudden passing. Once I noticed that I was headed into that same future, I made the decision to get medical help.

I’m lucky to have health insurance especially as a self-employed person. Every year, my insurance company sends out a mental health questionnaire and this year my result indicated that I was depressed. The diagnosis was a relief, confirming what I already knew. A month later, I asked my doctor for antidepressants and she prescribed the generic version of Lexapro. This drug increases the amount of serotonin, the mood hormone, in the brain.

My doctor advised that it could take anywhere from 24 hours to two weeks for me to feel the drug working. Luckily, I fell within the 24 hour window and immediately felt better once I began treatment. There was a lightness and a clarity of mind. I felt the muscles in my face soften as the mental anguish was released. I regained productivity and once again was able to think creatively. Most importantly, I no longer dreaded waking up each day.

I remember the first friend that I told about my decision to take antidepressants. She is a mental health professional that specializes in treating the whole person. Her practice blends talk therapy, spiritual readings, meditation and supplements. She has successfully treated hundreds of folks with this holistic model. We have had many conversations that helped my mental health but once our call ended, I was back in that same heavy place. Her response to my planned drug therapy was a list of supplements that would, with time, give me the desired result.

Although I was grateful that my friend took the time to recommend these dietary supplements, all but one of the vitamins, minerals and herbs that she suggested were present in my multivitamin or through my whole food, plant-based diet.

And everyone that I spoke to suggested magnesium. Not only do I take a magnesium with ashwanaganda daily but as a plant-based eater, my diet is already chock full of magnesium. I do believe that my diet and supplements were keeping me from falling over the cliff’s edge. Nevertheless, there I stood with one foot hovering above the abyss.

Each time I heard disappointment in the voices of the “there’s an herb for that,” crowd, I would take a deep breath and pause. Depression is a tricky, misunderstood condition for those who have never experienced it. We can appear normal, even happy but inside of us there are screams of torment and waterfalls of tears.

This state of mental and emotional upheaval is especially confusing to those close to us when we are the health conscious friend and family member. When we turn to pharmaceutical care, folks become disappointed. After all, as yoga practitioners and especially as yoga teachers, don’t we push the myth that yoga coupled with the perfect blend of food, sprinkled with spirituality fixes any and everything? Isn’t there a mantra, mudra, asana, pranayama, herb or crystal for depression? Can’t you just be touched by a guru and miraculously healed?

Yoga does a multitude of wonderful things for us. I have and do experience its gifts and they have made every aspect of my life better. Yoga builds confidence, keeps our bodies healthy through movement and breathing practices. And, yes, meditation calms the mind but it cannot balance chemicals within the brain.

My medication slows the metabolism of serotonin so that this “happy chemical” has more time to reach all parts of my brain. I’m on a low dosage, so yes, I still feel sad when it is time but I am no longer debilitated by my sadness. For me, this medicine was one puzzle piece that was missing as I work to regain my mental health.

Choosing medication has done nothing but change my life for the better. There was a time when I used to brag that I had not taken any form of medication in over a decade. No over the counter pain killers. No need for cold or flu medicine. This was my badge of honor, proof that “wellness” works. But then my mother died and something (everything?) in my brain broke.

By getting out of my own way, the specter of depression diminished. Most remarkably, my antidepressant helps me sit in the seat of the observer. Instead of being overwhelmed by emotion, my medicine lets me observe and examine what it is I’m truly feeling and in turn that informs me on the best way to proceed. And, yes, sometimes that means practicing asana, pranayama or meditation or walking outside to feel the sun shining on my face.