The system will collapse if we refuse to buy what they are selling…their ideas, their version of history, their wars…their notion of inevitability. Remember this: We may be many, and they be few…Anot…

Read more

In the past years, I have been working through my fear of being seen. A tedious process, but my intuition kept telling me that at it’s core, this is where my longing lives. So, despite some resistanc…

Read more

I am writing this newsletter at a special moment in my life

Last Friday marked the end of my Saturn Return, the end of a cycle I have entered almost three years ago. This period was filled with challenges and moments, where I stood at different crossroads. Leaving a toxic relationship, struggling with belonging and a sense of home, declining health and burn out, struggling financially, being diagnosed as neurodivergent, attempting to build a creative business, all while worlds around me kept collapsing.

The list goes on.

But with the end of this cycle, which I am immensely grateful for, I am entering a new era of my life. And something tells me, that we might be entering this era together.

Subscribe now

Our longing matters

As neurodivergent creatives, we have historically been forced into misaligned systems — in education, within families, teams, and organisations. We learned early on that our longing is not relevant and that our dreams don’t have a home in this world. For daring to name them, we have been called delusional, naive, selfish, lazy, and hypersensitive. Longing rarely felt safe.

We have learned to survive in a world that taught us to distrust our intuition, overwhelmed us into shutdown, and left us chronically overworked and underexpressed.

This has been our reality.

But as the systems we were forced into begin to crumble, it becomes increasingly clear that our longing is not separate from changing these systems. It is the very foundation of it.

I see more and more content arguing, that neurodivergent creatives will play a crucial role in facilitating systems change. And I agree. We can sense systemic imbalance, recognise its patterns of tilted power dynamics in a blink of an eye, all while holding complexity and having the emotional bandwidth to imagine something genuinely different. It makes sense.

This also makes me connect the dots on why we were taught so early to disconnect from our intuition and longing. When taken seriously, they become a creative and political force, threatening to systems that depend on our obedience. When I unpack what I truly long for, layer by layer, I see how it challenges the systems which so carefully tried to keep me small.

I long to own my time and focus. I long for the capacity to be present for what life has to offer, for the grief as much as the joy. To connect with other beings and with the land I live on. To love and be loved without limits. To create, and to make sense of the mess we’re in through art and story. I long to build a home that I can share. I long to be in reciprocity, to be of service with all I have to give.

It truly comes down to this for so many of us. I can see it clearly.

And yet, I have a difficult relationship with even acknowledging the existence of my true longing, let alone allowing myself to pursue it fully. It’s difficult to admit. For a long time, I placed it into a distant future, an ever-moving horizon, an unattainable craving. I set myself goals that I needed to achieve first, before I could allow myself to dream. I caught myself constantly chasing, feeling empty, lonely, and unfulfilled. Working on projects I loved with people I admired, winning awards — and yet feeling depleted.

Throughout my Saturn Return, I realised that this approach has nothing to do with the life I want to life, the business I am set to build, the activism I hope to practice, the example I intend to set. My relationship to longing kept evolving and started to slowly transform from chasing a distant future into nurturing a living practice. Patiently weaving what I long for into the day to day. I learned, that cultivating longing means, to slowly grow into it, until one day, almost unnoticed, I have become it.

Here is my invitation to you

This year, before I turn 30 in December, I am taking my longing radically serious — my longing to become a writer, a teacher, an artist, a coach. Writing these words still feels scary. But this is what my heart yearns for most, and what I have been quietly working toward behind the scenes.

And my biggest wish is for you to come along.

Every Wednesday you’ll receive an essay from me — different in length and shape — exploring the space where systems change, art, and spirituality intersect. Let’s see where this might lead, but I can’t wait!

So please, if any of this resonates, send your reflections — and share this newsletter with your multidisciplinary, activist, neurodivergent friends.

And thank you so much for being one of the first subscribers, it means the world.

Share Becoming Worlds

This space is for you.

💜 Alex

P.S. To publish my first newsletter past 11 pm is very much on brand :D