Today, I experienced something close to a light bulb moment - a unique learning experience.

Before I continue, I think it’s important that I mention that in the past 3 weeks, I’ve had reasons to ponder on what success means to me. I have come to realize that what I now consider success to be is largely different from what I would have named it to be months ago.

To be honest, until very recently, I’ve never sat with myself to think about what success means to me. My definition of success was linked to the world view of success- so much money that 3 generations coming can’t spend it all, multiple fancy cars, travelling for 6 months twice a year (I hope you get it), multiple fine dining and so much more.

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Very recently, I’ve been able to find words to describe the hidden needs of my heart. Listening to Ezinne Zara speak on this on her YouTube video titled - I’m so done with social media put things in perspective for me.

The world has become way too fast paced. I want to live in a way that preserves my soul. I want a simple life. I don’t want all the money. I just want to not worry about money. I want to build systems that pay me comfortably. I want mental stimulation and I want to derive joy from working. I still want free time to enjoy the money I have either worked for or automated. I’m still discovering what success means to me but I can now tell what it doesn’t mean to me.

Fridays are my CDS days (tales of a girl serving her country)and today was not an exception. I was under a bit of pressure already because I realized that I had somehow misplaced an important paper (which I have found, thank you Jesus).

While sitting and listening to persons speak to us, I came on here to read Substack articles I had saved. I came across a note where the lady wrote on how success is personal. It deeply resonated with me and I was left thinking once more about what success should be - for me and for others.

Success is a state of fulfillment and that state of fulfillment differs from person to person. To one, success could simply be surviving the day. To another it could be the luxury of always traveling, for some it could be a home filled with laughter, for some it’s having healthy children, for some it could even be all these but you get me.

Success has been too streamlined for so long that people are fighting to sacrifice an arm and a leg to achieve it and somehow they feel unhappier than ever and less successful than when they began.

There has even been an epidemic of persons who bash other people for lives they consider less than their version of success.

While there is a place to condemn mediocrity especially when you know the person is capable of doing more, there should exist a consciousness that what might be important to you enough to constitute success might not be the same for another and that such is perfectly okay.

We must learn to respect people and let them enjoy their lives even when it seems too basic for us.

What ground do we have to tell a woman who simply wants healthy kids, a husband that loves her and that she loves and her little sewing business by the road side that because she hasn’t worked in an office and earning a certain figure that she is not successful? What qualification do we have to tell the man who simply wants to spread the gospel in remote places that because the world doesn’t know his name he is not successful.

Balance may be difficult to achieve but respect and honour for choices must be present.

While I sat thinking of all these, one of the speakers walked up to me and asked if I had subscribed to a YouTube channel. I told him that I had not and that I would rather love to know what they do before I subscribe to it. He gave a brief explanation of what they do and said something that reminded me of all I had just been thinking about.

He said I looked like a friend of his. He however went ahead to say that she had three cars now and asked me how many I had. I responded that I will only get a car when I can properly handle the expenses of maintaining one.

That statement left me shocked and I was so tempted to call him back and ask him why he would think that having 3 cars would be a measure of success for me. I didn’t anyway.

This experience highlighted how deeply rooted it is for us to measure the success of others by our own standards for and of success without consideration for what they want.

In the end, all I am saying is this; people should be allowed to have their version of success. Let people live.

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A while ago, I saw a post on how if Jesus were to come back to speak to us we would not do to him anything different from what those in his time did to him and I completely agree.

We would crucify him over and over again because he would be too much, too passionate, too holy, too everything.

Christ was deeply passionate, he spoke up in the face of evil; he didn't keep quiet to keep the peace. He carried the saving message on his head- something that we somehow seem to detest in this time, He cared not for frivolities; he didn't care how much money xyz made, He understood that the call is heavy and the burden stifling. He understood that time is short and that we cannot afford to waste any more of it.

Jesus was(is) serious about our salvation. He was(is) so full of wisdom. He knew when to lash out (use the whip), when to chastise, when to show compassion (the feeding, His tears). He was so human and so God. He cried, He felt grief, He felt sorrow.

This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. - Hebrews 4:15 NLT

...a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief... - Isaiah 53:3 NLT

Dear Christians, the call was not to blend in, it was to stand out unapologetically. We are called Salt, we are called Light, can you be hidden? Can you be without taste! We must have the same attitude Christ had. We must know the Father and make Him known.

You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. - Philippians 2:5 NLT

The Bible is not relative. It is the Truth. Times and seasons do not change the efficacy of The Word. The message of the gospel is not to cuddle sin, it is a call to action! One that we must answer in eagerness.

We have placed our standards above His Word, we have abandoned His warnings and are set in our ways. The Bible holds true. We are not the standard. The Bible is. Whatever we do that goes contrary to what The Word says is wrong.

The beautiful thing about the Gospel is that you see the kindness and the love of God. His word does not let us cling to guilt or shame. His word edifies. His word redeems. His word brings us to the knowledge of Him and His love.

This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. - 1 John 4:10 NLT

No power in the sky above or in the earth below - indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. - Romans 8:39 NLT

Again, this is to my brothers and sisters in Christ and here's my final charge to us:

Onward, Christian soldiers,

marching as to war,

With the cross of Jesus

going on before! - S. Baring-Gould (1865)

This was not to condemn us without love but to remind us that we spend way too much time outside the work of our Father. We need to come home.

If there was anything that resonated with you, kindly let me know below.

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This ‘trend’ is characterized by holding a cake and inserting sticks wrapped in sticky notes one after the other. On those sticky notes were written things they were grateful for this year. This could be done by an individual, it could even be by a group of friends or colleagues.

This was one thing I longed to participate in. I really hit a lot of milestones this year. I looked through my notes app, clicked on one of my pinned notes, the one where I had written down my goals for the new year(2025) and I realized that I had met a lot of them.

Like every journey, through the months, I’ve had to shed tears, pray hard, rejoice wholeheartedly, feel immense disappointment, burst with gratitude, pray even harder, stick to my daily personal growth plan and so much more. The highs, the lows, they make an awesome year, at least for me .

Now, here are a few things I’m grateful for this year in no particular order;

1. Hi, I’m Ifee and I am grateful for God’s preservation- I got to begin the year with my family and I am ending the year with my family.

2. Hi, I’m Ifee and I got to finish Law school- this was the year I wrapped up law school and wrote my bar exam, an experience I hold so dear.

3. Hi, I’m Ifee and this year I begun my National service- new seasons calls for new experiences and while I’ve heard from friends and those before me how this phase would exhaust me, I am stepping into it with grace, gratitude and a decent mental preparation. I’m still house hunting though!

4. Hi, I’m Ifee and this year I became a Lawyer- capped my study in the past 6 years with this. Oddly, for something I’ve worked so hard for, I barely think back to it.

5. Hi, I’m Ifee I took my first drip this year- now this may sound odd but I would always say “oh I’ve never taken drip, I’ve never slept in a hospital” and related statements. This sounds like a pretty normal statement right? Unfortunately, it was laced with this crazy pride as to how ‘healthy’ I am. I basked in it until I didn’t. I still didn’t spend a night in the hospital but I battled a health issue that was terribly uncomfortable, shaped my choices for almost 4 months and in its own way humbled me.

6. Hi, I’m Ifee and this year I’m grateful that I got to experience a shift in my relationships. This has given me a push to grow and love people around me better.

7. Hi, i’m Ifee and this year I took financial literacy seriously. I now have an investment portfolio of 6 figures and it hasn’t even been 6 months.

8. Hi, I’m Ifee and I’m grateful that I got a Job this year.

9. Hi, I’m Ifee and I’m grateful for tact and compassion. I got to experience these at different points this year and it’s shaping the way I see and relate with people.

10. Hi, I’m Ifee and I’m grateful for the opportunity to step into adulthood. It’s been a crazy experience but I appreciate it.

11. Finally, Hi, I’m Ifee and I am grateful for the ability to stand my ground especially when it comes to how I want my hair treated.

These may not be a lot but they are personal to me and these occurrences are things I am deeply thankful for.

More than anything, I am excited for the new year and what it’d bring. I hope you reading this have had a wonderful year.

To all who have lost loved ones this year, it’s pain that no one who hasn’t walked that part would ever properly understand and I pray for comfort and strength for you.

To all who have had peak expectations trampled upon, I pray you receive the strength and mental fortitude to continue and press forward.

Merry Christmas and in anticipation, welcome to the New year.

At the commencement of the year, I sat with myself reflecting on how 2024 had ended, whether or not I had done the things I wanted to do, what to do for the new year and how to create a better life for myself.

I wanted to see myself grow in various aspects of life- spiritually, emotionally, physically, financially even.

For my financial goal this year, amongst other things, I wanted to be financially literate. I wanted to understand how money worked. As a part of this process, I began to read books, one of which was ‘Smart Money Woman’ by a Nigerian writer, Arese Ugwu.

While reading, I put down core money lessons from the book which I am learning and have begun to live by. I thought to share so we can all grow together. Here they are;

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1. Have the right money mindset

Being wealthy is not something to be experienced by one gender- no one gender has the monopoly of being rich, anyone can make money. Be intentional about money. It’s not something to shy away from or leave to chance.

2. Always track your expenses

Make it a habit to track every money you earn and spend. This creates mindfulness in you. You become able to correctly tell where and what your money actually goes to.

To do this, you could review your bank statements and record any purchase you make either through the bank or cash

3. Make paying off debt a priority

Where debt has accrued, the best course of action is to face it head on not avoid it. Avoiding it does not make it go away. Avoidance doesn't give us a chance to deal with the debt and find a suitable repayment plan. It stalls the process.

Therefore, sit with those debts, write them down if necessary and intentionally begin putting money away to repay it. Compounding works!

4. Create a realistic budget

Now, you must have tracked your expenses so you have a sound idea where your money goes. You've also assessed how much debt you are in, if any.

It is time you create a budget around it. The aim is to make sure that you live below your means and to spend less than you earn making provision for financial growth.

5. Have an emergency fund

Life is terribly unpredictable. Make plans to escape financial suprises. To do this, set aside 6-12 months of living expenses. This fund exists only to carter to real emergencies and financial suprises not your whims.

Start gradually if you must but try not to be caught wanting. Create room in your budget to build this fund.

6. Diversify your money

In other to build wealth, one must find ways to make money work for them.

Here’s what to do: depending on your risk appetite, you may diversify your money in the following ways; fixed income investments, mutual funds, real estate investments, stocks. In this way, your money has a chance to multiply and you earn more.

7. Save smartly

There’s this popular Nigerian saying that goes something like this- ‘make sure to save as your savings may one day save you’.

What is it to work and earn money and yet have nothing to show for it. That is why we save. Your savings and emergency funds are not the same thing as emergency funds are as a result of your savings.

First, clearly define your goal when you’re trying to save; is it for your retirement? or a business venture you plan to embark on in the future? or even for the security that comes with having extra funds put away? Your reason would guide you.

I hope there’s something that resonates with you here today. Let’s build together. If you’re interested in topics relating to Faith, Lifestyle, Wellness and Growth you’re definitely on the right. Please subscribe and share with persons who may need it.

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If there’s any hack you’re practicing already let me know below, thank you.

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