I am not hiding cancer.

Trust me - if I got cancer, I’d fucking tell you.

Things Dave is known for: Wooden doorths, cold fries, spiteful bitterness.

Things Dave is not known for? Reticence.

In the 1980s, if you said you were unwell but provided no details, people assumed it was AIDS. And people with AIDS would say it’s cancer! Now, thanks to Norm, people assume it’s cancer. So maybe I should say it’s AIDS.

But though it’s neither AIDS nor cancer, there is unwellness in play. I will have to arrange with my publisher to send out your personalized books for me; I doubt I’ll be making it to the post office for a while.

And BTW, in my last two Substacks I’ve referred to my publisher as “Henrik Isbn” and “Worst Buchholz,” and I think those are two of the BEST puns I’ve ever done in my life but not one of you assholes mentioned them.

FUCK YOU.

As you may have noticed, my new publisher/old friend has not been able to get my book back on Amazon.

I can think of two classic Simpsons clips that sum up the situation.

Here’s my old friend/new publisher explaining how things are going with his handling of my book:

And here’s my dream of getting back on Amazon:

I’ll tell you what I did wrong, because I think it’s healthy to admit error. You people who worship Tucker and Candace and Jones and the other societal cancers you’ve helped birth are not fond of admissions of error. You want a guru who declares “I’m a master sleuth who’s never wrong! My word is a solid as that of God Himself.”

I wrote about this pathology years ago at Takimag, how Rush Limbaugh’s claim of being a “truth detector” (Rush himself referred to this as his “pompous arrogance shtick”) launched a hero worship pathology on the right in which desperate losers seek inerrant leaders.

“Gabbo! He’ll tell us what to do!”

To Rush, it was shtick. To you, it was an invitation to worship.

Breitbart built on that pathology, and then Trump made it a cult.

Me? I like writing about my fuck ups. Because Lord knows the one thing I don’t want is adulation. I’m adulated 24/7 on X by the most retarded humans on earth (Holocaust deniers). Thanks to them, adulation makes me physically ill.

So I enjoy talking about my errors.

I’ll go so far as to say that the right’s desire for inerrancy among its gurus is one of the reasons we’re lousy with Nazis these days. It’s not a far leap from seeking inerrancy in an individual to seeking inerrancy in a race. You want one god-human? Why not 204,000,000 (the number of Americans who classify as “white alone”)?

Trump’s beloved Groyp Ambassador Darren Beattie’s “white men must be in charge,” Tucker’s infamous “white men always fight honorably,” once you start down the hero worship road, the road will expand, from an individual to a cult to a race or religion. And that pathology will transform the most common-sense political positions - “race quotas in hiring and academia are bad because people should be judged on their merits” - into something perverted and unpopular - “race quotas in hiring and academia are good because only one race has merits and that one perfect race must run everything.”

From rejecting race quotas (Sowell) to embracing them (Beattie).

A mistake on the right’s part, to be sure.

And regarding RPA2E, I myself made a big mistake. After Peter Thiel nickeled and dimed (“pfennig und daimler’d”) me to get Republican Party Animal back in print, an old publisher friend with a 48-year-old publishing company offered me an advance that I thought was respectful.

That 48-year-old publishing company had seen better days. It had gone from publishing living humans to churning out reprints of public domain works by dead guys.

Still, I was right to reject Thiel’s company, Buchenwalden (another good pun that none of you will get). Thiel’s people ended up bungling Steve Sailer’s book, Noticing. The book turned a profit on the strength of Steve’s name, but do you know that Thiel’s company released the book along with a children’s cartoon that had a cross-dressing animated Steve explaining inherited intelligence to kids?

Thiel’s guys made Steve Sailer into a cartoon Japanime “Sailer Moon” and it cost them THOUSANDS of dollars to do so, because Thiel, whose knowledge of heteros is akin to my knowledge of Nigerian Igbos, thought putting Sailer in a Jap schoolgirl uniform would attract male readers.

This is an actual “asset” from the cartoon:

Due to my “insider connections” that I’m so fucking glad I no longer have, I heard about the “Steve Sailer Moon” insanity on a daily basis back in November 2024. And the reason you never saw the cartoon is not because saner heads prevailed. There are no sane heads in that circle. What happened was, the shitty “artist” who submitted the shitty AI demanded more money from Thiel so the idea was shelved.

Yet still, Thiel offered the guy who drew “Sailer Moon” more money than he offered me for two books.

After nearly ruining Sailer’s book, the Thiel company fully ruined “Raw Egg Nationalist’s” book to such an extent that he severed all ties with Thiel and went with…of all people…Milo Yiannopoulos’ company, Rammed’im House.

Thiel so badly mismanaged a book, Milo had to save it.

Meditate on that. It’s like being such a poor swimmer, Malcolm-Jamal Warner has to save you from drowning.

And then as a grand finale, Thiel’s totenkopfs fucked up what was supposed to be the crowning life achievement of my old boss, Taki Theodoracopulos.

Taki wanted to greet his 90th year on earth with an autobiography that would shoot him to the top of the bookselling charts.

This was important to Taki. He was already #1 on the “right-wing Greek billionaire rapist” charts, but that wasn’t good enough for him…and to be fair, for the true greats among us, “good enough” is never good enough.

Now, whereas I took one look at Thiel’s well-endowed infrastructure (his publishing company, not his dick. C’mon people, get your minds out of the gutter) and said “nein danke,” Taki, enamored as he is of German excellence (and to be fair, it was a great invasion), was completely taken by Peter’s patter.

“Mein griechischer Takinziefreund, ich werde machen bestsellerenzie weltclassenzie buchsellerengeschechte faggonzie fuckenzie mit der hardencockenzie im der asscrackenzie.”

Poor Taki…Thiel’s company fucked everything BUT his ass. The book was poorly produced, badly promoted, and indeed it was Taki’s fury at the mismanagement of his “great autobiography” that caused him to scrap Takimag in a bitter rage.

Yet still, Thiel’s company was at least able to get Taki’s book on Amazon. Where it currently (after 13 months) has 24 reviews and a 3.7 rating.

Reader consensus: “Buyers enjoyed the tzatziki recipes but found the raping excessive.”

So there I was in early 2025, with a book that had 105 positive reviews and a 4.9 rating before being banned from Amazon due to a Twitter campaign by Debra Messing, and my old friend promised me a decent advance and a handsome new edition.

“Can you get my book back on Amazon?” I asked my old friend.

And my old friend replied “Oh look, a Palos Verdes blue butterfly! Glaucopsyche lygdamus palosverdesensis, a geographically native subspecies of the silvery blue, which ranges over much of North America but in centuries past was localized to the peninsula at the northernmost point of Long Beach. It was officially named in 1977, shortly before it became one of the second groups of butterflies to be listed under the US Endangered Species Act in 1980. They’re nearly extinct at this point; what an honor to watch one fly by. What was your question again?”

It was a smart move on my friend’s part. The butterfly monologue caused me to take a long swig of rum to stave off the boredom. And at that point I’d forgotten my query.

Well, here we are…three months have passed since the copies rolled off the assembly line, and the book ain’t gettin’ back on Amazon.

Ten days ago, when I rather optimistically (and, it turns out, falsely optimistically) started feeling well enough to leave my capsule at the Long Beach Scurvy Inn (“Fleas come standard; ticks are extra”), I met with a buddy who was a literary agent at a major talent agency until Covid and the writers/actors strikes led to the agency’s dissolution, and now he sells oranges at the 405 exit at Slauson (he wanted the more prestigious Wilshire exit, but his old boss had already staked it out).

I explained my issues with Amazon to my agent pal, and he replied “You’re fucked; here’s an orange.”

And it was the sweetest-tasting orange I ever had.

Here’s the mistake I made: I assumed that my old friend/new publisher actually wanted to make money from books. Of course that was my assumption. I knew Adam Parfrey’s business model well. Adam would publish two books a year that were mainstream enough for Hollywood to option. Then he’d use the money from those Hollywood deals to fund the publication of a dozen smaller books. And he’d end the year with just enough profit to keep Feral House afloat, to live to fight another day in the noble cause of independent publishing.

But my old friend/new publisher doesn’t make his money from books. He makes it from donations. His company’s a 501(c)(3), and his income has nothing to do with books. He can sell ten thousand books a year or ten; it makes no difference to his personal bottom line.

So yes, I’m fucked.

No, I don’t have cancer. And after seeing Norm suffer with cancer for a decade, may my ailment take me quicker.

On a Less Self-Indulgent Note…

Hey, what about that In-N-Out mass shooting a month ago in Twin Falls, Idaho?

Crazy, huh?

You seen the footage of that shit? Horrific. He walks up to the drive-through window and point-blank executes the girl taking orders. Then he starts shooting people waiting in line in their cars. Then an armed citizen chases him away, but sadly that just drives the shooter to an electric vehicle charging station, where he shoots two people in their cars.

Then a cop shows up and the guy offs himself.

So what do we know about the guy?

Chad Williams - a most MAGA gentleman; huge fan of Trump and Musk. A few weeks ago I decided to read through every one of Williams’ tweets, to sleuth for a possible motive.

Williams had two major obsessions, which he posted about often: rising crime, and the Chinese buying up AMURRRCAN farmland.

Ironic that he himself made crime rise dramatically in Twin Falls, population 55,000, last known murder when Boog borrowed Jeb’s tractor without permission and Clem shot him dead because “hyuk hyuk dang ol’ trakter hyuk hyuk.”

The In-N-Out shooting reeks of irony. The killer was a huge Musk fan but he ended up bullet-riddling two Tesla owners parked at a charging station…though to be fair that wasn’t the plan; the strapped citizen (ironically, Clem again) chased him there.

I remember the Yorkshire Ripper apologizing for accidentally killing a non-hooker. His mandate was prostitutes, and when he heard that one of his victims was a “good girl,” he was beside himself with remorse.

Poor Chad Williams…I’m sure, had he lived, he’d have penned a note of apology to Elon for offing a Tesla owner.

The Tesla victim’s surname was Schultz, so I’m sure Elon would’ve wanted to know if it was an Aryan Schultz or a Jewish Schultz before forgiving Chad or congratulating him (that’s the thing with Schultzes; they can be a loveable Nazi camp guard or the ugliest member of Congress).

All that aside, Chad the Killder had one obsession in his X tweet-stream that dominated everything else. More important than Trump, more important than Musk, more important than crime stats or ching-chang-farmermen.

Chad loved Thomas Massie.

Hoo-dawgie, did this murderous loon love Massie. Every other tweet was about Massie.

Chaddy and Tommy sittin' in a tree,

K-I-L-L-I-N-G.

Massie was Chad’s idol. And what I found interesting about Chad’s tweets is, after tweeting again and again and again about Massie for years, when Massie was defeated for reelection by “the Jews,” Chad went radio silent on the topic.

Odd. Your political idol, your father, your mother, your secret lover, is destroyed by “them” in the primary, and you stop tweeting about the guy. Every other Massie-obsessive I know - and yes I’m looking at you, oh person I shall not name - went absolutely apeshit after Massie was defeated.

Massie is cruelly, unfairly defeated just because he advocated Nazism, and Chad goes silent.

What Chad did start tweeting was a repeated condemnation of America for “rushing to take Berlin during WW2” while not rushing to stop the evil among us today.

“Americans raced to take Berlin during WW2 but we don’t race to save our own nation!”

“We raced to take Berlin but now we can’t even protect OUR cities!”

It’s a common Holocaust denier trope to say words to the effect of “The WHITE MAN bent over backwards to save JEWS in WWII, but now we won’t even protect our own cities from the effects of JEW DEGREDATION.”

With his idol Massie having been pantsed by the Jews, was this what Chad was trying to say?

No idea; I’ve no more insight into Chad’s mind than you.

However, I can say this: Chad’s “historiography” is factually wrong on a level equal to that of deniers. America did not take Berlin; the Russians did. That’s really well-known. The U.S. allowed the Reds to take Berlin. Patton didn’t like it, but Eisenhower pissed in his mouth and Patton swallowed and behaved.

Murderous Chad decided that America took Berlin - his only evidence being his own imagination - and, brooding on that false scenario, he unleashed murderous terror.

Any of youse who constantly tell me that I’m wasting my time trying to correct false WWII narratives wanna speak up right now?

C’mon…tell me how much it doesn’t matter.

Unless the Twin Falls police are sitting on a manifesto, perhaps hiding it under Jeb’s tractor, we’ll likely never know Chad Williams’ motive. We’ll never know what was boiling over in his diseased mind. But we do know that he’d talked himself into believing a 100% false notion about WWII.

When we have the opportunity to correct false notions of WWII, it’s best that we do. Of course, that’s not what a few of YOU have told me, when you’ve pilloried me with mocking derision for taking WWII historiography seriously.

Speaking of MAGA killers, I noticed that June 29 came and went this summer without any mention from the MAGAMAGOOS about the one-year anniversary of the 2025 Coeur d’Alene fireman’s massacre.

Yep, we’re back in Idaho for a precursor to Chad Williams’ burger blowout.

I mean, surely you recall the 2025 Coeur d’Alene fireman’s massacre, right?

You don’t?

I wonder why.

A white kid named Wess Roley, who had just turned 20 the previous month, purposely set a brush fire on the west slope of Canfield Mountain, and when firefighters showed up - all WHITE men, may I add - Roley opened fire on them from a perch in a tree, killing two outright and critically injuring a third.

When police arrived, Roley shot himself. Just like his idol - Hitler. Yes, Roley was an online Groyper. A Holocaust denier, a Hitler fan. In the interviews conducted with Roley’s friends and schoolmates, the common expressed theme was that Roley was “a Nazi troll!” Not a doctrinaire National Socialist; just a kid experimenting with Swastikas and jackboots on X, having fun in the unmoderated Nazi playland Elon has gifted us.

He was whimsical! He was “just an edgelord” (his friends literally said that). It’s all a part of growing up. Nobody saw him as a potential threat. All the kids today do Nazi trolling. Even JD Vance says so! It’s harmless.

Until it isn’t.

Roley killed WHITE MEN, not filthy untermenschen. Oh but by all means don’t recall what I’ve warned you about for years, that any person who flirts with Nazism has a fucking screw loose. I’ve told you that again and again and again. And what do you tell me in return? “Stop obsessing over it! We’ve nothing to fear from these mirthful little imps. It’s just trolling; c’mon, let the kids have fun. What, you think they’re gonna launch a Fourth Reich and take over the country?”

No. I think they’re gonna kill some innocent people. Including your beloved whites.

Here are Roley’s victims. Look at them. And ask why the first anniversary of this massacre went unnoticed in the right-wing press.

Ashamed of something, Cletus?

Take a GOOD look…

Go on, email me again about how I’m being hysterical and overdramatic when I warn about the dangers of the online Nazi community and Musk’s promotion of it and Vance’s tolerance of it. Tell me again how my work is silly and irrelevant.

Come on…do it.

Cowards.

Would one of you care to write to fireman Harwood’s widow and explain how her husband’s life was less important than Elon allowing young Nazis to feed their fetish on X? Or maybe explain your own thesis that a little Nazism is actually good for the right…keeps the young’uns inoculated against the lies of the Jews!

I’ll give you points for one thing, though…your decision to remain blind to the fireman’s massacre probably did help to some extent. The right’s refusal to address the incident kept photos of the killer out of the rightist press. That’s likely a good thing.

The Groyper right is a septic tank of gay fetishism and pedophilia. The Groypers turned 22-year-old Santa Barbara mass-shooter Elliot Rodger into a sexual icon. Fuentes would’ve made Roley his latest fap-fester.

Hell, I bet a few of you are fapping right now.

Poor Roley - if only he’d allowed himself to be captured alive, he’d have Candace and Tucker defending him as the bright young Nazi future of America who was framed by THE ZIONISTS, who were the real killers.

Speaking of rightist fantasies, I’m struck by how rightists, when they mention the October 2017 Las Vegas mass shooting (biggest domestic body-count ever - 58!), still do the “no known motive” shtick.

What’s THE GUVERMINT hiding? CIA involvement? Arms trading? ZIONISTS???

But the thing is, we do know the motive. We’ve known since 2023, when a FOIA demand unearthed documents that Trump’s Justice Department never wanted you to see back in 2017.

Nazism.

The killer’s motive was Nazism.

The shooter, Stephen Paddock - the man who defied a thousand profiles: too old at 64, no criminal history, no tip-offs to his pals - had totally given a tip-off to his pals. In a series of correspondences, Paddock told a friend that he’d come to admire Hitler (“a good man”) and he wanted to copy white supremacist OKC bomber Tim McVeigh. Paddock’s pal grew so alarmed by Paddock’s pivot to Nazism and white nationalism that he begged his friend to not do anything crazy like a mass shooting.

We’ve had those correspondences since November 2017, a month after the shooting. But Trump’s DOJ had no desire for you to see them. Better to create a MYSTERY! Trump’s most evil inner-circlists know how much you guys love mysteries! Just throw you a bone of intrigue, and you salivate a river. Like a dog, but dumber and less worthy of life.

May I restate, Rain Men? We have the highest bodycount mass shooting in U.S. history - the massacre of a country music festival, 58 dead, mostly WHITE - and your god-king Trump’s DOJ is like, “we have no idea the motive,” when the entire time they totally knew the motive - Nazism, Hitler worship - but it didn’t come out until 2023.

Oh, and here’s another thing you don’t remember - three years before Paddock’s massacre, a swastika-clad young married couple, Jerad and Amanda Miller, rampaged through Vegas killing cops and bystanders.

They didn’t rack up the bodycount of the 21-year-old Groyper who killed 23 at a Walmart in 2019, or the 18-year-old Groyper who killed 10 at a grocery store in 2022.

But it’s the thought that counts, right?

Now, I know what yer thinkin’. The Idaho In-N-Out killer, the Idaho firefighter killer, the Vegas mass-shooter, the Vegas cop-killers, the Walmart guy, the grocery store guy…they didn’t target Jews!

WTF? Nazi killers NOT targeting Jews?

In the 2025 Antioch High School (Nashville) mass shooting, the killer, a teen Nazi who credited Candace Owens for inspiring him, killed a Hispanic girl.

And in the May 2026 mass shooting at a San Diego Islamic center, the two teen perps, avowed neo-Nazis, killed only Muslims.

What are we to make of this?

Well, certainly it can be said that since the Tree of Life shooting in 2018, Jewish community centers and temples have made it a point to ramp up security.

Let us not forget the 1999 rampage of neo-Nazi Buford Furrow.

Yes, Buford Furrow. Because Shitkick Counsinfuck was already taken.

Furrow, an Idaho neo-Nazi (Idaho…always with the Idaho) came to L.A. to kill him some Jews. But after casing the Skirball Cultural Center, the American Jewish University, and the Simon Wiesenthal Center, the presence of armed guards scared him away. So he settled on shooting up a tiny Jewish daycare facility, and when that didn’t satisfy, he killed a random Filipino postman.

So sure, heightened security helps Jews. And we’ve known that since before a lot of you broke your sieg heil cherry with your first Hitler meme or your first “Gaza genocide” video.

But security alone doesn’t explain why so many Nazi killers target gentiles.

To find the answer, we just need to look at the “manifesto” of the San Diego Islamic Center killers.

A manifesto that begins with:

Everyone has their own idea of who is to blame for all the wrong in the world, they will say its the government, the elite, the rich, the politicians, the 1%, the left, the right, the capitalists, the communists, the illuminati, the fags and trannies, the immigrants, and many more. All of them can be traced back to be or be caused by one group, the jews. IT’S THE JEWS IT’S THE JEWS IT’S THE JEWS IT'S THE JEWS The Jews across all of time have been behind an EXTREMELY disproportionate amount of the world's problems, whether that be from war, famine, exploitation of children, rise in degeneracy, infighting of peoples, political killings, the separation of family, the departure from the Church, the White race’s replacement, mass immigration, central banking systems, and so on, it has always been and always will be, the Jews. There is no moderate option to this problem, they’ll always rise back to power or do the same again wherever you exile them to, for any sane man seeing all this the only logical solution would be to just kill them all.

Well, that’s unambiguous!

And also perfect for Tucker Carlson’s next podcast monologue.

But the murderers who wrote those words…killed akbars! They went to an Islamic center, not a temple, not a Jewish community center, not a deli.

Make it make sense.

And I will. Because unlike your idols who spin mysteries for likes and shares, I actually DO try to make sense of things.

It’s “bioweapon theory.” Familiar with that? You should be - it’s your hero Elon Musk’s favorite concept, judging by how many “bioweapon theory” X users he boosts and retweets.

According to bioweapon theory, Jews breed human weapons to degrade and destroy the white race. As explained by our San Diego Islamic Center killers, “niggers, fags, chinks, Mexicans, Muslims, FOIDs [women], centrist whites, Judeo-Christians, and MAGAtards” act as “bioweapons in the Jews [sic] war against whites,” and therefore must be killed.

They end with this warning: “You ‘responsible conservative’ types will get the rope same as all the rest.”

That’s a direct quote, oh my “responsible conservative” friend who says we have nothing to fear bringing these impish Nazis into the fold.

Bioweapon theory has exploded on X. And if you don’t believe me, just do an X search for “bioweapons” (or “bio weapons”). The results will not involve germ warfare, but Musk’s beloved Nazis planning to take out the Jews’ surrogates.

Why has bioweapon theory exploded (I mean, beyond the fact that Musk boosts it)?

Mainly because these Nazi lunatics you adore have convinced themselves that the true circle of Jewish power is untouchable to the common man. The Elders of Zion, the Rothschilds, the rabbis who control the Fed, the Talmudists who control grocery prices, they don’t meet at the local Howard Johnson’s. It’s hard as hell for an 18-year-old unemployed Nazi incel in Bakersfield to find the Zion Elder lair!

As if a Zoomer can find anything without GPS.

Last week Tucker Carlson’s brother declared that “the Rothschilds” are “supernatural demons” who can’t be touched on the human plane of existence.

Domestic terrorists invent a fantasy in which “world-dominating demon Jews” are outside the human realm of guns and retribution. Having convinced themselves of this fairy tale, the terrorists realize that they can therefore only kill the gentile “bioweapons” who are more accessible.

Accessibility being a key factor here. Many of these Nazi shooters live in RAYED TOWNS in RAYED STAYUTS, so whites are just easier to target. Buford Furrow drove from Idaho to L.A. to kill Jews. I doubt Wess Roley had the gas money for that.

There’s no one single key to understanding mass shooters. But there is one thing that’s certain: they all read each other’s manifestos.

And they’re all spouting bioweapon theory.

Thanks Musk!

So as bioweapon theory grows, you head-in-the-sand retards are as much at risk as I am.

Some of you losers will excuse the loss - a few hundred whites killed here and there - because you’re not willing to admit error about your theory that introducing “a little bit of Nazism” was a sound idea.

“C’mon, the left has its crazies; we need ours!”

“Look, at least Holocaust deniers are skeptical of official stories! we need more of that on the right.”

“I’m not saying Hitler was good, but the left ‘reforms’ Mao and Stalin. Why can’t we do a little Hitler reforming?”

Yeah, Hitler - the man whose actions killed millions of whites.

You thought you could let in “a little Nazism” and be safe. You thought you could control them. But you couldn’t. You literally believed that if you allowed in “a pinch of Hitler,” you’d get a million Jared Taylors - scholars who can deftly and intellectually discuss racial matters without succumbing to appeals to the lowest denominator.

Where’s your million Taylors, assholes? All I see is hundreds of murderous fapping idiots. From the Nazi mass-shooters to the Heritage Foundation Groyper who thinks the most important part of his job is debating “whether the Holocaust happened.”

Your “pinch of Goebbels, dash of Heydrich” plan backfired, and now you’re as likely to be killed by your spawns as I. And Vance is gonna ride your bad idea all the way to the White House.

What’s a few dead white firefighters to you? Better a few dozen whites die than you deign to admit error. Because inerrant “truth detector” whatever whatever. All that matters is that you can’t be wrong!

Personally, I’d rather that nobody gets killed by Nazis. Not Jews, not youse, not anyone. I’d rather torch every fucking Tesla in the entire fucking world until the risk of owning a Tesla becomes so great that the shareholders pressure Musk to stop boosting Nazis.

As I said, there’s no universal profile for mass shooters. But there are two groups that mass-shoot in disproportionately high numbers: trannies and Nazis.

Many Dems are slowly stepping away from “woke 1” trans extremism.

As you’re doubling-down on Nazism.

Fucking Democrats are acting with greater decency, or at least pragmatism, than you.

You proud of that?

Probably. You worthless fucks.

America’s Wang Swings Nazi

Dan Bilzerian, who was running for Congress in Florida’s deep-red House District 6 (Daytona, Flagler, and apparently 1932 Berlin), ran on one platform: fight the Jews, expel the Jews, kill the Jews. He’s never shied away from stating that he’d gladly sign up for any war in which exterminating Jews was the goal. Bilzerian praises Hitler and denies the Holocaust.

And he got 18.9% of the vote. Out of 88,613 votes total in the GOP primary (a closed primary; these were all Republicans), Bilzerian and his “kill the Jews” platform got 16,774.

Bilzerian said “kill the Jews,” and 16,774 Florida Republicans said yes.

Bilzerian did not campaign in person; his campaigning was 100% online (he has 2.1 million followers on X…of course). His campaign meme was created for him by fellow Nazi/Holocaust denier Jake Shields:

Let me repeat the caption in larger type, for those of you who refuse to see. He ran on that meme and got 16,774 GOP votes. He came in second against a Jewish incumbent with almost 19% of GOP voters supporting him.

Checkmate, shitbags. You can no longer tell me “ERRMAHGERD, X isn’t real-life! ERRMAHGERD, it’s just criticism of Israel, not Jews. ERRMAHGERD, stop being hysterical and go back to joking about cold fries.”

FUCK……….YOU. Up the ass, in the mouth, and any other hole you may have. If you refuse to acknowledge a clear problem, you’re either too dumb to be my friend, or you’re secretly okay with what’s happening.

Because this is a problem. Democrat Platner and Republican Fishback, both of whom flirted with “a lil’ Nazism,” had plausible deniability because they ran on other things. They ran on economic issues, and data centers.

Bilzerian did not run on other things. He ran solely on this:

Fishback was slaughtered in the GOP gubernatorial primary. He came in third with 10.4% of the vote.

The Nazi who tried to run on other things got clobbered. The Nazi who ran on killing Jews outperformed all expectations.

Don’t think Vance didn’t take note. And don’t think this isn’t gonna be a growing cancer. And if you don’t want to admit that this cancer exists, and that it should be fought, we simply aren’t friends anymore.

BTW, during his entire campaign Bilzerian mentioned ICE once, and it was negative. He called ICE deportations “government overreach,” because he is NOT on your side regarding immigration, you fucking Kallikak. He only wants to get rid of the kikes.

The dumber among you will read this and say, “Oh, Dave’s gone tribal. The call of the TRIBE has taken hold of him! Jews are threatened, so his JEW DNA dictates that he must fight for the tribe!”

A take as retarded as you are. How many years at Takimag did I berate rightists for trading hard work for idiotic shortcuts? As I said many times, leftists, love ‘em or hate ‘em, do the work. They’ll take over entire organizations, structures, systems, to push their passions like trannyism and DEI. Academia, the media, the medical establishment, leftists get in there and put in the effort.

Because leftists are social beasts who like to run with packs.

But rightists? LOL! You guys hate political scutwork. You think you’re the greatest geniuses of all time! You don’t need field work; you prefer sitting on your couch guzzling beers while dreaming that the U.S. “raced to take Berlin.”

Leftists are loathsome but the edge they have over you is that they love committees and commissions and working groups. White leftists in particular fetishize the lived experiences of others.

“Oh my trans black comrade, tell me of your plight! Let me FIGHT FOR YOU! Oh my nonbinary two-spirit Venezuelan furry, TEACH ME! HELP ME to be a better, more conscious human.”

But you? Mr. couch dreamer? Why engage? You’re the smartest human who ever lived, you sleuth, you Sherlock. You’ve got nothing to learn. Not you, not the truth detector.

When white leftists turn against Jews, it’s because somebody showed them an AI photo of an emaciated Gaza baby, and Emma Stone was like “ERRRR-MERRRR-GERRRRRD, Gerza? A new group of brownie humans to FIGHT FER? I’ll FIGHT FERR THERM!”

When rightists turn against Jews, it’s because you saw a meme on X, sat back into your thinkin’ couch, and SLEUTHED that the Holocaust never happened and Jews must be ended.

Leftists want a struggle. You just want to masturbate to how smart you are.

You dumbasses want incantations.

Recitations in place of effort.

When Breitbart and then Shapiro told you “politics is downstream of culture so make MOVIES to change the culture and voila, Amurrrrrca will be healed,” you lapped that shit up, because no effort was involved. Just mindless belief in an incantation.

“I don’t gots to do no hard work; I jes’ send $39.95 to dang ol’ Shapiria and his movie duz the werk fer me!”

And I warned you about that. How many times at Taki’s did I take on Shapiro (a fellow TRIBESMAN!) and the lazy “make movies to change the culture” shortcut grift?

So my current annoyance with your newfound Nazism isn’t “tribal,” you miasmas of steaming smegma. I can SEE another “shortcut” mania gaining ground on the right and I’m speaking against it as I’ve always done.

“Our problums cum frum immoral Hollywood mewvies! Make moral mewvies and our problums disappear!”

You tried that shit, and it didn’t work. And because introspection (“maybe I shouldn’t seek easy solutions”) is alien to you, you’ve moved on to “our problums cum from Jews and the Hollycost. Git rid uv Jews and deny the Hollycost, and our problums disappear. Is-rail runs our cuntry!”

Meet the new con, same as the old con.

And you’ll fall for it. Again.

Go ahead and slam me for peeing on your couch dreams, but don’t fucking call it tribal. I hated this shit when Shapiro did it, I hate this shit now.

You ooga-booga simpletons.

Anyway…

Don’t worry about your personalized books. You’ll get them. My publisher is highly competent to an almost superhuman degree and he’ll oversee the task with the same preternatural professionalism he brought to the rollout of RPA2E.

As your best bud Elon, your savior, your doughy alabaster autist Nazi fren, spent the weekend joining with Russell Brand to retweet a full-blown Nazi troll account that obsessively posts my 1992 videos, an account with the pinned tweet “Next time we’ll finish the job” (RE killing the Jews).

When I used DMCA to get this Nazi’s posts of my old videos removed, he started using Grok to summarize the videos, a neat end-run around DMCA.

And now Musk has rewarded him with a retweet.

This marks the third time Musk has retweeted a Holocaust denier who promotes my 34-year-old videos. What’s especially interesting is that the previous deniers Musk has retweeted at least had follower counts in the hundreds of thousands. But this guy just had 30,000. Yet he was in Brand and Musk’s feed. And of course now (as of this writing) he has over 50,000 followers. Double that by tomorrow I’m sure. Now that Nazi Musk (241 million followers) and rapist Brand (10 million followers) have retweeted the guy, he’s gaining 100 followers a minute.

As Darryl Cooper, Tucker Carlson’s favorite Holocaust denier (who distorts my work and deceitfully cites me) bragged about how he’s written the forward to the Holocaust denial book of a Nazi who “rocks leather jackets bearing Iron Cross and Totenkopf patches," and that book is on Amazon, but mine isn’t.

And the #7-ranked history Substack, of course a Holocaust denial account, just published a piece about “DAVID COLE THE AMAZING WOODEN DOORTHS GUY.” That Substack has 82k subs…while I haven’t been able to break 2.5k since I got here three years ago.

Sure, I’d link to the Elon/Brand tweets, and the Cooper tweets, and the denier Substack. But I won’t. And therein lies the heart of the problem. I don’t trust you guys to not like/retweet/follow/sub them. In fact, I KNOW that if I gave you the links, you’d like/retweet/follow/sub them.

Because I’m blessed with mirthful imps as fans.

Oh you scamps.

Well, I want out. September 2nd I turn 58, and the position I’m in is beneath me at my age. I don’t enjoy the game, not even slightly. Banned from Amazon and banned from YouTube and shadowbanned on X as Musk and his minions boost my old work while not allowing me any response. Thiel literally offering more money to an AI “artist” to put Steve Sailer in a Sailor Moon schoolgirl uniform than he offered me for a book against Holocaust denial. And my “respectable conservative” friends preferring to boost the Nazis who’ve pledged to kill them instead of boosting my poor long-suffering Substack…

I’ve had enough.

Wouldn’t you?

Honestly, wouldn’t you?

Happy birthday to me,

I’m old as Aunt Bee.

I’m so sick of this bullshit,

Get me the fuck outta here and quick.

Damn…that doesn’t even rhyme. Sorry; something short-circuited my normally reliable facility with parody lyrics.

Enjoy Elon, enjoy Bilzerian and Fuentes declaring that deportations are bad unless it’s Jews, enjoy being shot by the Nazis you champion, enjoy the hell you’re forging. And never come complaining to me again; I have health issues to attend to.

Play me off, Milo O’Shea.

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15 muntz of hotel living, and I finally caught something from the daily flood of interchangeable international coughers and nosepickers who parade through my home as if they have a right to be here.

Hey Horst, Pierre, Liam, Fyodor, Meep vander Boop, Chu-won, Takashi, Jeun-bong, Pandit, Hajir, Simba, Samba, Sambo, and Woolamalong, you’re just passing through. I live here. Yet you come to my home and leave your phlegm and boogers behind.

Hotel living is great except for all the other assholes who stay here.

This bug I caught, it had a weird trajectory. Normally these things start with a sore throat, turning into post-nasal drip, then cough and congestion. But not this mutha. This one started as a nonstop cough, then went into the sinuses and throat.

WTF?

Anyway, I was on my back for over a week. No appetite; just water, Gatorade, juices, tea. No booze…I never need booze when I’m sick. I drink so that I don’t have to face this fucked-up world with a clear head. Being ill creates the same fuzziness and impairment, so it suffices. These days I only get about two weeks a month to drink anyway; I’m gonna save ‘em for when I need ‘em.

I’m sapped of energy, man. But I can type, and I owe you guys an update.

So here’s the update: I didn’t get around to mailing out the signed books last week. I’ll do it next week. It’s been fucking HOT here (though not as hot as Phoenix. I often think that Arizonan sinners have an unfair advantage…Hell will seem mild to them). No way I’m walking to the post office in this heat. So first I gotta muster the energy to package the books, and then you’ll have to wait until my friend can drive to where I am (much farther out than Beverly Hills) to help me mail them.

Don’t worry - I’ll get ‘er done. Just be patient.

And no, the book isn’t on Amazon yet, and my small-time publisher, Worst Buchholz, can’t even tell me if it’s because I’m on a blacklist, or because he has no idea how to get a fucking book on Amazon.

Speak comfort to me, Jacob. I’m sick and my book launch makes Trump’s 250 look like a resounding success.

I’m actually quite fortunate; the staff here took fine care of me, serving me homemade chicken soup and checking in on me daily. So please don’t think I was suffering in isolation. I’m not Jack Nance, FFS. You know, Eraserhead. Dude was an alcoholic who lived out of cheap hotels. On December 29, 1996, he drunkenly got into a fight at Winchell’s (“Don’t take that last sprinkle, asshole. You give that donut to ME. I’m Eraserhead, dammit”), got popped in the eye - his head violently hitting the floor as he fell - and crawled back to his hotel room to die of brain bleed, alone and unknown, his only friend in the world, David Lynch, too busy reciting a monologue about the simple joys of burning the ends of turnips with matches and inhaling the smoke to check on his old pal.

Hey, I just realized that Bob Saget stole Eraserhead’s bit. Though he wisely cut the Winchell’s scene and localized the entire show to the hotel room.

Saget was always an economical director.

Speaking of death…two weeks ago I asked if one of you guys could contact Adam Parfrey to find out how to get a fucking book on Amazon. And Jim Goad took up the challenge.

I don’t think he thought things through, though.

I’ve been friends with Goad for 34 years. Back in the day, I was also very close with his wife Debbie. I have thoughts on Jim’s passing, but I’m gonna keep them to myself. I’ll say only that, in reading the various Goad obits, I was disappointed in certain colleagues of mine for mindlessly repeating Goad’s false claim (from Shit Magnet) that Debbie was a “retard” with “an IQ of 86.” Shit Magnet is an angry and bitter nonstop monologue of rage and self-pity, and while I was disappointed with Jim at the time of the book’s publication for making that claim, I’m even more disappointed in people who never knew Debbie for repeating it.

Debbie was a brilliant writer and editor. Yes, she was a self-hating whiner. Also yes, Jim was a violent abuser. And now they’re both dead, so let it rest, as I’ll let rest the other things I could say about Jim.

Because does anyone even care anymore? Jim’s death had its week; now nobody’s even talking about it. That’s how it’s gonna be for me, too. And for all of us who slither off this sphere leaving no family behind. We all get our one week.

“He was talented; he will be missed.”

Then everyone moves on to something new.

“Hey, Supergirl II: The Boobening sure sucks!”

Indeed, I have a plan to make sure I’m not remembered. When I die, anything that’s left in my estate will go toward hiring a professional hitman (my executor will take care of that). And anyone who takes to any public forum to say “You know, Cole took a lot of shit in life, and I never really looked into his work. But reading it now that he’s dead, he was actually a pretty reasonable guy and a fine writer who should’ve worked more” will be murdered.

I only want to be “appreciated” while I’m alive to enjoy it. Posthumous “discovery” of my work will merit a death sentence for the discoverer. You good folks who enjoy my work while I’m still here and kicking, you’ll be fine. But anyone, anyone who does the whole “now that he’s dead, I think his work deserves a reevaluation from those of us who ignored him in life” will meet a violent end.

Appreciate me now, or never mention my name after I’m gone. Violate that rule at risk of your life.

I’ll die happy knowing that I’ve arranged such a thing.

On a not unrelated note, does anyone know of an executor who’s okay with soliciting multiple assassinations? If so, DM me the details.

Okay, I’m still worn out from the illness so I’ll end with one small bit of semi-substantive commentary about something that’s been irking me as I’ve been lying in my sickbed.

I title this, You Can Make Anyone Say Anything, You Douchebag.

People think they have buh-leefs! Principles!

No you fucking don’t. Anyone can find themselves acting in a manner that betrays their supposed precious prin-sipples.

An example:

Lindsay Wagner was arguably the most versatile actress of the latter half of the 20th Century. This chameleonic thespian was capable of, at the same time, portraying Jaime Sommers the bionic woman, Jaime Sommers the pro tennis player, Jaime Sommers the school teacher, and Jaime Sommers the superspy. No other actor ever displayed such range.

In real life, Wagner was a flaming far-leftist. FAR far-leftist. No nukes, BOO Reagan, YAY commies, the entire 1970s/1980s leftist package.

I met Wagner at an antiwar protest in Downtown L.A. in 1985 (I was covering it for the Hollywood Jewish women’s org that sponsored it):

(David Cole: insufferable for 57 years and counting)

Wagner gave me an interview about the true passion of her life: veganism. Extreme veganism. No meat or fish or dairy. No ending the life of even a plant for human consumption. And most bizarrely, nothing sweet. Not even vegan sweets. Sweets, she explained, are bourgeois. Eating anything that tastes good is bourgeois. Eating should only be for grim bare sustenance as we fight for the peasants, who will surely welcome the world of grim bare sustenance we’re building for them.

Now, as this dingbat was explaining her philosophy, she was holding her three-year-old son Dorian. And she looks at him and proudly tells me (dramatically overemphasizing the kid’s name), “Dorian sees cookies advertised on TV, and he sees his friends eating cookies, but Dorian is so wise, he knows to never desire a cookie, not because that’s what I’ve told him to do, but because wise freedom fighter Dorian understands that sweet things corrupt us and distract us from focusing on the revolution.”

And as she was talking, Dorian was staring at her like “Bitch I’d slit your throat for an Oreo.”

When Wagner won the bionic woman role on the Six Million Dollar Man series, she played ball with the producers. After all, she was a nobody. No clout, no leverage. But she proved a fan favorite (fucking fans…nobody ruins shows worse), so much so that the network okayed her own spinoff.

Now Wagner had clout. And she used her upper hand to smack the action out of the series. She wanted the bionic woman to be a feminist hero who used her mind and her compassion, not her physical strength. There’d be no fight scenes on her show. No action at all. Fistfights lead to nukes, war, and Republicanism! Women are the world’s peacemakers. Men kill, destroy, debase. Women solve, nurture, and build.

Jaime Sommers would be the first great feminist heroine…by never using her Bionic powers to harm villains.

I’ll never forget watching the first episode in January 1976, having been raised on Emma Peel of The Avengers, a character who inflicted more spinal and brain damage than the NFL. From snapping the neck of a fake Anglican priest in “The Town of No Return” to crushing a murderous frat boy under a bookcase in “A Sense of History” to breaking the backs of a half-dozen evil ballerinas in “How to Succeed at Murder”…

…Mrs. Peel kicked ass. That’s what I was used to.

So here comes the Bionic Woman, spun off from my favorite ultra-violent American series The Six Million Dollar Man, and the entire hour passes and the bionic bimbo doesn’t do one violent thing! She uses her bionics only once - to teach a group of misogynistic elementary school boys a lesson when they won’t let girls play on their softball team. She has the main bully-boy pitch to her, and she hits the ball into outer space. And the boys are like, “that was our only ball!” And Jaime smiles and winks because if the girls can’t play, nobody plays.

That was the extent of her bionics in that episode - fucking with children.

As the series progressed, the writers struggled to find nonviolent bionic actions Wagner would allow.

In one episode, Sommers, assisting a group of nuns, uses her bionic powers to…clean a floor.

And in the episode “A Thing of the Past,” the writers found something that Wagner approved with gusto.

Here, I’ll let you see for yourself:

She bionically makes hamburgers…in other words, sandwiches (yes, there’s meat involved; Wagner hadn’t yet discovered veganism in 1976).

If you asked some “manosphere” misogynist, some Neanderthalic Andrew Tate “women are worthless” shithead, what they think about a woman with bionic powers, their response would likely be “Great - she can make me a sandwich in half the time.”

Yep, the Bionic Woman literally did the “make me a sammich” meme. The #1 misogynist meme, and Lindsay Wagner did it, for real, in sincerity, thinking she was striking a blow FOR feminism.

“A bionic woman? She can use her powers to clean floors and make sandwiches!”

The point being, a strident feminist can enact a misogynist meme, thinking it’s a noble manifestation of her principles instead of a laughable violation of them.

You can get anyone to do anything. Buh-leefs mean nothing. Under the right circumstances, you can get people to do the exact things they supposedly would never do.

Obviously I’m going somewhere with this.

For years, ever since woke became a thing, “conservative” writers and podcasters have railed against the usurpation of the WHITE MAN’S genius.

“Fucking Hollywood, fucking Netflix, fucking Hulu and Amazon and NBC, recasting great WHITE men in history as BLACK!”

One of the most pilloried movies was Hidden Figures, which portrayed black women as the true unsung geniuses who sent man to the Moon.

Oh, you guys hated that film! We all did. I criticized it myself. So did, well, you name the rightist, they ragged on the movie.

Just as we’ve all ragged on every movie that robbed THE WHYTEMAN of his inborn genius.

But there’s an odd blind spot on the part of you paladins of white male brilliance.

Recently, Tucker Carlson hosted the outspoken Holocaust denier Owen Benjamin. Millions watched. Carlson called Benjamin “probably the smartest, wisest person in Hollywood.”

Along with denying the Holocaust, Benjamin also denies the Moon landing. Never happened! A hoax.

And none of you brave rightist defenders of white genius said a word. Nobody criticized Benjamin for his views or Carlson for platforming them.

Well that’s odd. How is Benjamin’s Moon landing denial any less insulting to the white man than Hidden Figures’ racial role-swapping? Hidden Figures at least cedes that the Apollo program was real and the leaders were white men. Owen Benjamin claims that all those NASA white men, from von Braun to the astronauts, were idiots, fakers, frauds too dumb to actually figure out a way to the Moon, so they lied about it, perpetrating a hoax on the world to cover up their low IQs and incompetence.

And this…doesn’t bother you? You’re fine with it?

A movie casts a black in a role that was white in real-life, and you hit the roof. A movie exaggerates the role of a black in a real-life historical event, and you go apeshit.

But Owen Benjamin and Tucker Carlson deny and ridicule one of the greatest accomplishments of white men in the 20th Century, and you don’t say a word.

Not a word.

Indeed, many conservatives cheered Carlson for “asking questions,” just as they idolize Benjamin for “exposing hoaxes” (he also rejects “round Earth,” thus shitting on European scientists, indeed shitting on white heritage itself by claiming that whites are so stupid that even their “brightest” got the shape of the Earth wrong).

And this doesn’t bother you.

I thought you were the champions of the white man! I thought you were the protector of white accomplishments.

What happened, oh good sir knight? Why hath thou failed to defendeth thy kingdom?

I know you don’t believe the Moon landing was a hoax, or that the Earth is flat. You’re not an idiot…just a coward. You don’t want to lose all those Owen Benjamin and Tucker Carlson followers on X. So you sit back like a neutered possum and watch THE WHITE MAN insulted, debased, demeaned like a mutherfucker, and you’re fine with it.

Because anybody can be made to say anything. I mean, look at you: you profess to be a defender of white brilliance, yet you say nothing when Benjamin and Carlson tell a generation of young people, “Whites were too dumb to get to the Moon, so they deceived the world to cover up how low-IQ they are.”

Even the most haughty “defenders of white male genius” can be made to clap along like seals as a Jew-hating retard destroys the legacy of “white genius” far worse than any Hollywood Jew ever did, as another massively popular Jew-hating retard calls him “the smartest, wisest person in Hollywood.”

Let me be clear: If you have in the past attacked “woke” films like Hidden Figures, or other movies or shows that turn white historical figures black, but you’ve said nothing about Benjamin and Carlson’s Moon landing denial, you are a fucking fraud.

A coward and a fraud. And I despise you.

Your supposed principles, your commitment to preserving and honoring “white Western civilization,” is trumped by your desire to not lose X followers.

You make me sick.

Leftist: “I’m a progressive feminist so I’m going to make sure the bionic woman does nothing but clean floors and make sandwiches.”

Rightist: “I’m a champion of preserving the heritage of white male brilliance so I’m going to claim that whites were too stupid to get to the Moon and they engineered a hoax to hide their ineptitude.”

BTW, you do realize that if Benjamin and Carlson are correct, that 100% justifies Affirmative Action. If white men left to their own devices fail at their tasks and cover it up by concocting hoaxes of unprecedented magnitude, then yeah we need blacks and browns and wimmins in the mix to prevent white deceivers from pulling such demonic tricks.

Congrats, cowards too afraid to condemn Benjamin and Carlson - you’ve justified nonwhite nonmale quotas. We can’t let something like the Moon hoax happen again! Why not open the border to every Third Worlder? They never did a Moon hoax. Or a Holocaust hoax. Or a round Earth hoax. They may commit street crimes, but what’s a few stolen catalytic converters and a few Medicare frauds compared to preventing another MOON HOAX?

And when Vance runs for prez in 2028, are you going to ask him to denounce his mentor Carlson for platforming Moon landing denial?

LOL! You cowards will suck Vance’s dick like the whores you are. You’ll never ask him to denounce his own personal Jeremiah Wright. That would be canceling! And we must never cancel words. Or notice them.

Sorry Steve Sailer - the age of noticing is over. Words, a time-tested method by which humans notice the character and intentions of other humans, are now off limits. We must turn a blind eye toward words…lest we become the worst villains of all - CANCELERS!

Oh, the future you tards are creating for us.

Hey Goad, pass me some lanyard.

Endnote: In checking Lindsay Wagner’s Wiki page to confirm how old Dorian was in 1985, I saw that in 1999 Wagner formally ended her veganism and indeed rejected even vegetarianism, returning to eating sugar, meat, and poultry.

Jesus fucking Christ…can you imagine poor Dorian, who went his entire childhood without eating meat or anything sweet…who missed out on Happy Meals, hot dogs, pizza, birthday cake, chocolate ice cream, and all that amazing 1970s candy store shit, and now that he’s an adult his meat martinet mom is like, “never mind; I guess it’s okay to eat that stuff after all.”

She robbed her kid of one of the great joys of childhood, only to reverse herself once his childhood was over.

Lindsay Wagner destroyed a person’s past, and you’re actively working to destroy everyone’s future.

Congrats. Now go follow Owen Benjamin and boost him in the algorithm. And remember that true bravery is staying silent on your BUH-LEEFS if your X follower count is threatened.

I’m gonna be 58 on September 2nd - one month from now. You were so generous regarding the GiveSendGo, no Amazon wish-list this time (besides, I’m still wearing the hell outta the shirts you got me last year).

But birthday tips are always appreciated!

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I had hoped to pair this thank you with the Amazon link for Republican Party Animal 2E.

As Stephen King wrote, “Hope is a good thing; maybe the best of things.” Of course, he also wrote “I really love that SS tattoo guy who rapes women.” So maybe quoting him is neither a good thing nor the best of things. But yes, I had hoped that I would have that link for you.

But I don’t. The book is all done, hundreds of copies printed up. But according to my publisher, Henrik Isbn, we’re waiting for the great publishing demigod Ingram to put the book on Amazon.

So wait we must. It’s been two weeks, and we were told it’ll take up to four.

Honestly, and I mean no insult to my publisher who’s a really good guy and a longtime friend, but…I don’t know if this wait-time is something every publisher must endure, or what we’ll do if we don’t get on the site because Amazon has me on a blacklist.

Adam Parfrey would’ve known what to do, so if any of you by chance have tools to raise the dead, DM me at once.

I’m reminded of 2012 when my then-friend Larry Elder was dropped by his “big five” publisher, forcing him to go with a dimestore print to order startup with no name recognition.

Poor Larry, watching his presence in the book industry shrink faster than his penis when his back goes out but his latest blonde bimbo still demands sex.

“Laaaaaarrrrreeeeee, I need you to satisfy me, my Mandingo warrior!”

“MY BACK IS OUT, BITCH! I can’t fucking move. Jesus Christ, the PAIN, the PAIN!”

“Errmahgerd, Larry, you just don’t please me like you used to.”

“I’m in excruciating agony, you cunt! Call a fucking doctor; I’m paralyzed.”

“Yer SELFISH, Larry. I’m going back to Klavan. Sure he looks like Skeletor, but at least he cares about MY needs.”

“Aaaaaaaaargh, it’s like a million hot needles stuck in my spine. I’m in HELL!”

“Have you seen my favorite pink Prada kitty cat tank top? I’m not leaving without my pink Prada kitty cat tank top. Help me find it.”

“KILL ME! KILL MEEEEEEE!!!!

When Larry was demoted to the minors, he asked me to handle his book tour. And I had the “pleasure” of dealing with his bushman-league publisher while ensuring that the tour was successful (and yes, at one tour stop at an outdoor pavilion, my duties included arranging for a portable heat lamp so his blonde bimbo du moment didn’t have to be even one degree colder than a Cayman beach as Larry dazzled the crowd with his groundbreaking theory that freedom is good).

That book tour was successful because ol’ Lar had an ace to play against the incompetence and powerlessness of his publisher: ME.

This is what I’ve learned: you can have a small publisher, as long as you have a Dave. But I am Dave. And I do not have a Dave of my own, so when my publisher is like, “can you look up online if we really do have to wait for Ingram,” I wish I had someone I could delegate that to, because Dave 2026 can’t be the Dave that Dave 2012 was. I’m old and drunk and used up.

The whole point of the work I did for Larry back then was so “the talent” isn’t bothered by details.

Always insulate “the talent.”

True fact: when Taylor Swift has to blow her nose, her entourage forms a human Great Wall around her so that no photos can be taken.

I don’t need that level of “talent insulation.” I needn’t be shielded from the humiliation of bodily functions, especially after CPAC 2016 when I broke violent wind on stage and sent Phyllis Schlafly flying to her death (look, it’s not my fault that Posobiec insisted on serving cruciferous vegetables in the commissary because he thought there was a Catholic connotation).

Alls I’m saying is, there’s a lot riding on Amazon’s decision. If I’m allowed back on, I’ll likely self-publish my next book (the anti-denial book), because if I have to do all the work, I might as well keep all the money. There’s just no point in having a publisher if the author still has to erode the shoe leather.

On the other hand, if I’m not allowed back on Amazon, well…of course then I’ll stay with my small-time publisher because at least they have a website and a warehouse and a mailroom and a Mexican (WWMM - the four necessities of book distribution).

So here’s where we are now:

If you want to buy just a regular copy of RPA2E, hardcover or soft, I’d ask you to wait a week or so for the Amazon link, which I will Substack the moment I get it. My publisher IS already starting to sell copies. BUT, the reason I’m asking you to wait for the Amazon link is that it ain’t just about sales but reviews by “verified purchasers.” When Debra Messing got the book banned in 2021, the Amazon page had over a hundred five-star reviews from verified purchasers. I’d like to TRY to regain that online presence.

So if you’re just interested in buying a regular softcover ($29.95) or hardcover ($39.95), gimme a week or two to hopefully get that Amazon link.

But if you want a personalized copy - not just signed but personalized to you - you can order that from me right now. I have a stack of hards and softs right here -

- and these can be mailed out immediately! New intro, new chapter about my “revisionist” years, new 10,000-word epilogue.

Several of you have already paid for personalized copies, and for anyone else who’d like to order one, it’s $29.95 for a personalized softcover, $39.95 for a personalized hardcover, plus $7 for postage and handling.

Payment can be made via GiveSendGo, Buy Me a Beer or PayPal. Please DM me here or email me at Dave6811@yahoo.com with your address and any specifics about how you’d like the inscription made out.

So, to recap: If you want a personalized copy, ORDER NOW!

This offer is only good for subscribers to this Substack!!!

If you want a non-personalized copy, bear with me as I wait for the clash of the Ancients (IN-GRAM vs. AMAZON) to see if I can get that fucking link.

This is as frustrating for me as it is for you. Likely more so.

But here we are.

All this rigamarole just to sell a fucking book. And all because Debra Messing led a Twitter mob and Amazon caved with no discussion.

Surreal, isn’t it?

Well…shit. I can’t complain. The book is back! That’s what matters.

A major theme of the second edition’s epilogue is vengeance. Which puts me in mind of an old tale from the frontier days, “The Road to Laredo.”

So remember - if youse wants a personalized copy, DM or email me and it’s on the way.

And the rest of you? Just hang with me another week or so. And if I DO get back on Amazon, put that link everywhere. Make that link the Pedro Pascal of links - overexposed to the point where normal people are like “make it go away!”

We’re a small but dedicated army. Like the Groypers, except we’re the good guys.

Here’s the GiveSendGo link. Or if you prefer, Buy Me a Beer or PayPal.

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And last year, from the top floor of the Bev Hills Marriott, I was even closer, with a better view.

This year, at my present location, there was indeed a show, but not near my hotel, and it dun costed $5 to get in! What silliness. I walked to the fireworks area and found myself a perch on a wall across the street. Same show, right? Except I’m outside the gates. Sure, there was beer inside the event, but not free. So you’re paying $5 to get in just to pay $5 for a plastic cup of beer.

Forget that! I had my flask and a no-cost wall perch.

Nobody keeps Yankee Doodle Dave from his booze n’ fireworks!

I do have to admit - the Century City show was better. A better selection of kaboomies and kablammos. This one was a little dull.

Well…Century City’s a special place. I don’t miss BH at all, but I do miss CC.

Oh, and I missed my fundraising goal, which we were not able to meet. It’s been 8 days and we’re about 3k short of our goal of $10,000 for my anti-denial video.

Look, I tried my best! I wrote 7,711 words about this a week ago, and I’m content that I argued my case as best as I possibly can.

And as I fell short of my $10k goal, last week Laura Pinho, a white far-left public school teacher in Canoga Park (San Fernando Valley, that fetid hellish firepit north of L.A. known mainly for porn), left her husband and child because they weren’t “anti-Jewish enough.” She went to Utah, where Zoom marriages are allowed, and she married a random Hamas guy in Gaza, in a shared bond of “fighting the Satanic Jews.”

She launched a GiveSendGo to pay for the cost of moving her new Hamasband to L.A.

She got $12,400 in just four days.

And I asked for ten and barely got seven.

Credit where it’s due; Jew-haters commit. Why do you think both political parties cater to them? They SPEND. Can you grasp that simple principle? The demographic that spends is the demographic that is courted.

Jew-haters gave Pinho (accent on the “ho”) $12,400 to help her abandon her child to pursue Jew-hatred full-time and give bogus citizenship to a terrorist. Sure, bogus green card marriage is illegal. A federal crime, in fact. Now let’s see if the Trump/Vance/Carlson administration prosecutes.

If not, I plan on rubbing several WASPy little noses in the obvious truth of my claim that the right’s Jew-hatred means a loosening of standards for illegal Akbars.

You can add Pinho’s $12,400 to:

Shiloh Hendrix’s $800,000 for yelling “nigger” at a child.

Nick Fuente’s $900,000 a year from livestream donations.

“Chud the Builder’s” $350,000 for yelling “nigger” at black people then shooting them.

Austin Franco’s $25,000 for proudly telling an employer who offered him a job, “I will not work for Jews.”

And with my GiveSendGo, I couldn’t even get to ten.

I’m not mad; as I’ve said time and again, I’m not entitled to anyone’s money.

Speaking of that, you may be curious if “Friendo” put the “steak dinner bet” money in the GiveSendGo kitty.

Of course not.

Or the friend who took thousands of dollars off me to travel cross country to do the anti-Jewish show, then refused to back me up when the host attacked me, then was given the opportunity to book a guest on a national TV show and chose a Nazi, then for some bizarre reason thought I’d enjoy hearing him laugh about what he did.

Did that guy (I guess I should call him “Friend-dough”) say “Hey, here’s your money back, Dave. I hope it helps make that video a reality!”

Of course not.

Keep your expectations low, and humans will never disappoint.

I will cop to being struck, more so each day, by the “gain the world but lose your soul” alternate reality I could’ve chosen in life. My God, can you imagine if, after my 2013 “outing,” I’d have put my finger to the wind and presented myself as deniers wanted to see me? “I fled Holocautht denial because the JDL and ADL and MOSSAD threatened me, but now that I’ve been doxxed, to HELL with the Joos! I’m back! Dave the denier! The originator! Wooden doorths! RED CROTH REPORT! Gath chamber windowths! MATHTURBATION MATHINES! The George Wathington of denial hath returned.”

You know how fucking rich I’d be? If, when Fuentes and the Groypers and Musk, Shields, Benjamin, Bilzerian, Peters, and the others who wrongly saw me as their guru came to prominence, I was pretending to be in their corner? Playing the part they wanted? The righteous Jew hunted - hunted I say - by the BAD JEWS for exposing the ZIO HOLOHOAX!

If I’d sold out to the vermin, and today I had a GiveSendGo to make a NEW HD 4K VERSION of my GROUNDBREAKING AUSCHWITZ VIDEO, how much you think I woulda made in a week?

Quite a bit more than 7k, no?

David Cole presents WOODEN DOORS - THE MOTION PICTURE, produced by Elon Musk and United Autists. Executive produced by JD Vance, Tucker Carlson, His Royal Highness Emir of Qatar Sheikh Tamim bin Hamad Al Thani, and Theo Vonn. Hosted by David Cole, with Gina Carano as the Wooden Door and David Spade as a Zyklon granule.

Shit, I coulda worked with Spade.

Damn.

Between them, Musk, Fuentes, Shields, Peters, Bilzerian, and Benjamin have over 300 million followers. So you can guess how much I could’ve profited for my soul.

That’s the irony. Deniers claim I “flipped” against denial because I accepted Mossad’s $7,000 “hasbara check.” If one considers what I would’ve made by acting the role deniers wanted me to, I’d have profited a good bit more than $7 grand. Indeed, the very notion I “flipped” for money is certifiably insane. There’s no money in the position I’ve held since 1994 - vigorously anti-denial but also highly critical of how orgs like the ADL and Wiesenthal Center fight denial.

There’s zero profit in that. Trust me, I know. I don’t do it for money; I do it because it needs doing.

Of course, selling my soul for Groyper bucks never crossed my mind, nor would it. But I’ll never cease to be floored by how much money there is in telling lies. There’s no difference between a young black loser shoveling money at a black race hustler who says “white privilege is why you’re failing at life,” or a young white loser shoveling money at a white race hustler who says “wooden doors are why you’re failing at life,” or a young incel shoveling money at an OnlyFans camgirl who says “you turn me on, baby.”

These days we’re defined by our desire to pay for comforting lies. We put ourselves in our own personal Matrix. No “conspirators” needed; we do it to ourselves.

My reason for pointing out “those who refuse to help” - Friendo, Friend-dough, Peter Thiel demanding two books outta me for $3 grand - is to hammer home what I said last week:

You’re all I got.

I have a small stable of fans. You guys, the good guys, the few who actually care about facts and history. You’re an exclusive bunch, so it kills me that when I do these fundraisers, it’s like I’m shearing the same sheep. Except you’re not sheep; you’re literally the only friends I have left.

That I come to you again 14 months after my last fundraiser, pitching to the exact same people, pains me, because it’s like I’m punishing you for being the good guys. I hate it. It upsets me as much as I’m sure it does you. But I’m 100% shadowbanned on X. If Elon or his minions tweet my 1992 content, within an hour it gets 500,000 views. If I tweet myself, my actual opinions, I’ll get 400 views total. It doesn’t have to do with followers. Of course Elon with his 240 mil followers gets high visibility. But, and I’ve documented this repeatedly, an anon Nazi account with 100 followers can tweet that 1992 video and immediately get 10,000 views, whereas I, with 7,760 followers, never have a tweet above 500 views unless some kind soul retweets me.

It’s the algorithm. Retweet denial, get boosted. It has nothing to do with followers; it works for someone with only ten or twenty followers.

I’m not allowed to grow my fanbase. X shadowbans me for not being a denier, and YouTube bans me because Media Matters said I AM a denier.

And shit…nobody knows what Amazon will do when my book goes back up there next week. My book’s already banned. Will that extend to the second edition?

No idea. But I know that if the title is automatically re-banned, nobody will say a word of protest.

Except my small but dedicated group of supporters.

You.

You’re all I got, and all I’m gonna get. And I’m shamed to have to come to you again after 14 months.

Those of you who’ve been with me since Taki (and before) know to trust my instincts. Who’s the one who warned you people years ago about Shapiro and Boreing’s “fund a movie to change the culture” grift? For the last seven years, what did I tell you? It’s a con. And what happened? Boreing damn-near bankrupted Daily Wire by wasting $60,000,000 on his “Pendragon Cycle” vanity project and his shelved “budget so high nobody will provide a figure” Snow White disaster starring Brett “Shapiro in drag” Cooper.

And what’s Boreing doing today? He’s given up on “movies to change the culture,” instead hosting a podcast in which he attacks anti-Jewish influencers like Owens and Carlson.

Exactly what I was doing ten years ago when I FUCKING TOLD YOU GUYS that the Nazi Groyper crowd was the thing to focus on, not putting Nick Searcy in his worn-out stanky ten gallon hat for another prairie morality tale co-starring Kevin Sorbo, Dean Cain, and Gina Carano as a wooden door (nothing to do with the Holocaust; it’s just the only role she can convincingly play).

My instincts were right. All that money you gave to Boreing’s films shifted the needle not one nanometer, whereas showing tolerance to Tucker and Candace and preaching “no enemies to the right” made you lousy with Nazis, which Boreing himself admits these days, when he’s not buying new lotus silk toupees with all the millions he embezzled.

Remember, in August 2024 the Wilks brothers - the billionaire oil-baron funders of Daily Wire - were this close to inking a deal for Fuentes to enter the big-money mainstream. And Boreing, always the dutiful teat-suckler, proceeded to praise Fuentes as “brilliant.” So for him, shifting from “movies to change the culture” to “fight Nazis!” is just a con man looking to move on after his last game was busted.

I mean, good for him - every voice against Tucker and his drones is welcome. But make no mistake: Boreing’s always got his finger to the wind. That “gain the world but lose your soul” deal I refused to take? He’d take it in a heartbeat. I knew Boreing for five years; a weaker and more opportunistic creep has never walked this green earth.

The fight against the denial cult has been the fight of my life for 32 years. And I hope my instincts and track record have earned me enough trust to merit your help to reach my meager goal.

I’m hardly giving up; I think we can do this.

Here’s the GiveSendGo. Let’s see how the week plays out.

Oh, and speaking of my instincts, how can I not mention Platner?

You see the cowardly, slimy, ratlike Dems fleeing Platner? The ones who called him “THE DEMOCRAT OF THE FYOOO-CHUUUUURE?”

And do you remember what I wrote almost a month ago?

With Platner’s primary victory in Maine, here’s some advice you’ll all ignore.

For years I hammered home the point, in my Takimag column and on Substack, that even the smallest sign of Nazism indicates mental instability. Hitch your horse to someone who praises Nazism, Hitler, or Nazi symbols, and you’ll be in for a bumpy ride. Because that person has a screw loose.

In 1936 Germany, sure - people who were not Nazis and not insane nevertheless went along with the program because it was the key to advancement at work and social mobility. But America 2026? Only deeply disturbed people embrace Nazism.

I’ve preached that point again and again and again.

Platner proves that point. The tattoo was just the tip of the iceberg. Dude’s a mess, from fantasizing about raping men to committing actual abuse against women. And this, too, is just the iceberg’s foreskin; way more will come out before the general.

Yet rightists look at what the Dems are going through with Platner and STILL say, “Hey, let’s bring in a little BASED Nazism on our side! Just a little, for Gen Z. How could it hurt?”

There is no such thing as “a little Nazism.” There is only sane or insane, stable or unstable. And all modern-day Nazi fetishists are either insane or unstable. That’s a guarantee.

The Dems who defended Platner, a man who, even if you want to excuse the SS tattoo, appeared on the podcast of a Holocaust denier and declared it his “favorite show ever,” convinced themselves that Platner represented “THAH WERKING MAN.”

More like the raping man. We should be glad that online Nazism gives us red flags about who to avoid. But no…we blind ourselves because a select few influencers are like “Nazis be COOOOL!”

Here’s a simple fact: If you spend a few bucks to help the anti-denier cause, you will never regret it. You will never be shamed by it. You will never have to delete tweets, or walk back statements, or lie to your grandkids. I can’t promise you victory because holy fuck I’m up against Brobdingnagianly stiff odds. But what I can promise is, you will never be ashamed of having kicked in twenty, fifty, or a hundred bucks for the cause. Win or lose, you’ll be as proud of the effort in twenty years as you are today.

The pro-Nazi, pro-denier side cannot make you that promise.

That’s all I gotta say; here again is the GiveSendGo.

On a lighter note, the Republican Party Animal Second Edition (I want to call it RPA2E, but that looks too much like “rape,” and why steal the title of Platner’s upcoming tell-all?) will be available in three varieties (prices set by my publisher, not me):

Softcover: $29.95

Hardcover (with a dust jacket just like a big boy book!): $39.95

Signed Hardcover: $49.95.

Last week my publisher, Printery T. McBookbinder, drove up from Orange County with 30 hardcovers to sign (lot of faith in the book there, Printery…nice to know you think we’ll bottom out at 30), and I took a pic for posterity.

If any o’ youse mugs would like a personalized copy (not just signed but personalized to you), let me know; if you’re a recognized friend, there’ll be no extra charge. Basic softcover or hardcover prices. And I gotta remember who won that contest about guessing the false “Dave fact” back in March! That reader gets a personalized copy for free. Shit, I gotta get on that!

Enjoy your summer, folks. Keep your AC on full blast, and to my European readers, may the magpies and skylarks you keep chained to perches in your home to startle with loud noises so that their panicked flapping cools you not succumb to stress-fueled coronaries.

The GiveSendGo link. Or if you prefer, Buy Me a Beer or PayPal.

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This isn’t a short piece, but I hope you’ll stay with it.

Y’ever ponder the terrible life of Screech? Dustin Diamond…born with a weird oval face, long chin, long nose, ridiculous afro…ostracized by the pretty people in the Saved by the Bell cast, cruelly mocked by the public and his peers, a living joke, a late-night punchline.

Unemployable, he declares bankruptcy in his 20s. He tries porn but needs a stunt double because his tiny dick knew only flaccid. His failed attempt at porn only brings more mockery; he couldn’t even go to out drinking without being humiliated by bullies. He gets physically attacked in a bar by one of his harassers but the cops lock him up instead when he fights back. His arrest garners new ridicule, of course. He writes an autobiography but the “intrepid” national journalists who routinely ignore the use of ghostwriters by prominent politicians decide to “dig deep” in this one meaningless instance, revealing that Diamond used a ghostwriter, which leads to additional derision and contempt (think about that; every reporter in DC ignores the use of ghostwriters by major politicos, but with Screech it’s suddenly a story!). And finally, on his 44th birthday, he’s diagnosed with the most aggressive form of cancer known to man and dies one month later alone and in pain in a pauper’s bed.

Dear Lord…that’s unfortunate. I joke in my book’s new epilogue that every time some scoliostic palsied hunchback cripple writes an inspirational autobiography it always carries a title like “A Lucky Man” or “A Blessed Life.” But there’s no way Dustin Diamond could’ve possibly thought he had a blessed life, or any luck besides bad.

If I’d been Diamond, I’d have tried to salvage some humor from the wreckage by writing a book from my deathbed titled “What the Fuck? What the Literal Fuck?”

But I’m not Diamond. Thankfully. I’ve had a good, long run. Beautiful women, fun times, good fortune, good health, great upbringing, and whenever I was beaten down in the bank account, I recovered, by providence and my own ability to think my way out of every trou de loup others set for me.

No bitterness. In September I’ll be 58, and no bitterness at all.

But my gosh, these are emotionally taxing times for me.

A year ago I left my house.

That’s what killed George Sanders.

How many of you remember George Sanders?

Tall, handsome, debonair Oscar-winning British actor of Russian aristocratic ancestry with a voice of silk. Even if you don’t know his Golden Age Academy Award-winning acting work, you may at least know him as Shere Khan in Jungle Book.

Sanders was a cad, a gad, a romantic lead in film and in life; a renaissance man - actor, writer, singer, pianist, hugely popular and respected in his day.

He got the life Screech didn’t.

But as he got older, his quality of life lessened. He’d had many wives (every Gabor sister but Zsa-Zsa: Ava, Magda, Zagda, Bingda, and Cabungda), but no kids. No human legacy. As he aged, he relied more and more on booze. Not because he’d had a bad life, but because his autumn years paled before the great times of his youth. Even at age 60, Sanders’ worst day would’ve been Screech’s best. But for Sanders, the descent from heights was distressing.

I get it. Booze provides an artificial high, and while cliche-spouting softbrains whose knowledge of life comes from textbooks preach that this high is sought by those who never had it naturally (“Get off the drink; go discover the high of LIFE! Jog! Lift weights! Hike!”), in fact booze is often employed by the over-the-hill who’ve HAD that natural high, and who know they’ll never have it again.

In his early 60s Sanders could still get movie roles, but he was no longer romantic leading man material. And then he received a few gut punches. His mother and brother died in the same year. He lost his money in a failed investment scheme (I could’ve told him Benny Hill Bitcoin was a scam), and he had to give up his house. He literally walked away from it, with naught but the shirt on his back. Just like I did. So I know the feeling. You have this big beloved home, and you have to sell it, so you just walk away, leaving everything behind. In my case I put my library in storage (I’ll likely never see my books again, but they’re too sacred for me to trash); everything else I left to the Mexicans hired for the demolition. Sure, I let my friends rummage through the house first, taking whatever they needed. But I had a LOT of shit. 50 years worth. So most was left for the Mexis.

And I do hope they took things. I mean that; better my belongings be with a hard-working laborer than in a dump. I hope somewhere Gustavo is watching my flat screen, and Ricardo’s keeping his cervezas in my fridge, and Javier is using my writing desk to pen the next great Spanish-language novel (“Don Quixote de la Drywall”), and Mirabella has my vacuum and Pablo has my steamer and Rosa is enjoying one of the three beds I left behind. Or maybe she’s enjoying all of ‘em (that Rosa’s a whore).

So I get what Sanders went through. There he was…no family, no home. But he still had his love of piano. It soothed him. It calmed him. Then he had a minor stroke, just bad enough that he could no longer play. Literally, just severe enough to kill his dexterity.

We can all be Screeched at any time. Screech was Screeched from birth. But you can be Screeched at age 50, or 60, or whenever. And the fortunate, like Sanders, like me, aren’t mentally equipped for it. Because it’s new to us.

Sanders did one more movie after the stroke: 1972’s Psychomania, a British celluloidic turd about hippie bikers who strike a deal with the Devil to become immortal. Sanders played Satan’s emissary. And he was able to drink the young Brits under the table during production. He would party with the twentysomethings to such an extreme extent that shooting would be delayed due to intergenerational shenanigans.

And after that final triumph - showing that he could still hold his own good as ever, that he could out-party, out-drink, and outlast the longhair upstarts, Sanders killed himself with a barbiturate overdose at age 65, leaving behind this legendary suicide note:

Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck.

Fucking iconic. Sanders, the consummate actor, knew how to make an exit.

Psychomania was released (as Candace Owens would say) poast-hoomussly. You can see it here (don’t…it’s not a good film. Though the final shot - Sanders, backed by funky 1970s music, walking with determined dignity toward a cursed runestone graveyard of people who lost their souls to suicide, carries an import I’m sure the crew didn’t realize at the time).

I feel a kinship with Sanders. You’re facing the inevitable end of a good long run. No kids, no family, no house, and the only vestige of the man you once were is your ability to drink, and your wit.

I get why Sanders deadpilled himself after the stroke. But I have not yet had my stroke (though by God so many of you try your best to give it to me). I can still type. That’s my version of Sanders’ piano. As long as I can type, I can find ways to pass the time.

Part of me would not mind leaving you with your worries and a hearty “good luck.” But the final stage on the Sanders scale of shuffling off this mortal cesspool is debilitation. Physical debilitation. And I don’t have that yet. Oh sure I’m trying to drink myself to it, but I just don’t have it yet.

And drink alone is no life. I need a reason to stick around. And I have one. I want to kill the wretched cult of Holocaust denier retards I inadvertently birthed 35 years ago. I want to set things straight. To be clear - this is not remorse. I’m not remorseful because in my youth I acted in good faith. For roughly two years, 1992-1994, I publicly pursued a “dangerous” topic and was hated for it by some and lauded for it by others and in the process I got a few things right and a few things wrong. In fall 1994 I admitted my errors and moved on.

Mistakes are how we learn; we grow from them. Or at least we should. As a young man in his 20s, I assumed that when I left “revisionism” in 1994, copping to youthful errors, condemning denial while also remaining critical of errors on the mainstream side, that would be that.

But a gaggle of present-day retards decided to turn my youthful errors into a cult.

“Gaggle?” I think retards deserve their own unique collective name, like a murder of crows, a pride of lions, a shrewdness of apes.

I propose a rainman of retards.

So a rainman of retards decided to turn my early work into a societally destructive cancer. And Elon Musk (and his collective - an I-Am-Sam of autists) promotes the cult to the extent that it dominates X.

Meanwhile, I remain banned from the mainstream because of the feedback loop in which the deniers - who keep my 1992 video in the public eye despite my protestations - feed the mainstream ADL types who want me to remain a whipping boy because I’m an easy target with few defenders. So I’m forever trapped in 1992 because neither those who worship me as a guru nor pillory me as a devil want me to leave 1992.

If you had told me back then that in 2026 the wealthiest man on earth, the man in charge of the largest informational platform in the world, would be boosting shit I did in 1992, blasting it out to hundreds of millions of people, many of whom were not even alive in 1992, I’d have dismissed you as a lunatic.

Had you convinced me that in my late 50s I’d still be defined by a VHS video I edited in my living room in 1992, that I’d have retards worshiping me for it on one side, and their mirror-image retards condemning me for it on the other, I’d have Sanders’d myself on the spot.

But here I am, and this is my reality. I birthed a cult that’s not only boosted by Elon Musk but championed by the vilest humans on earth: Musk, Fuentes, Stew Peters, Dan Bilzerian, Jake Shields, Owen Benjamin, Darryl Cooper, Tucker Carlson, Buckley Carlson, E. Michael Jones (spiritual mentor to Carrie Prejean-Ballsack), etc.

My 1992 work is the “origin story” of the worst among us; Fuentes has specifically stated that he’d been apolitical until he saw a video in college that featured my old footage. Ditto Tucker’s newest Holocaust denier best buddy Owen Benjamin, who did an entire rant last year about how my 1990s work “made him a denier.”

Every few days, some new Nazi talks about having been “redpilled” by my 1992 video.

And it’s taking a toll on me. I can’t lie about that; it’s eating away at me. And before you say “well, log off social media then,” it’s not just social media. It’s real life as well.

One of my closest friends was invited to appear on a hugely popular Jew-hating podcast. My friend is not a Jew-hater, but hey - being on the show would garner him a hundred million views! My friend needed some cash for the trip to do the podcast, so who’d he come to? Me, the Jew. And I helped him out. Of course I did; he’s a friend. And after the friend’s appearance on the hugely popular Nazi show, the hugely popular Nazi host attacked me, and I asked my friend if he’d speak up on my behalf, and my friend said no because it might cost him “opportunities.” So I let it go. Some months later my friend, riding the tailwind of his newfound fame, was asked by the producer of a very mainstream talk show (you’d know it; everyone would) if he could suggest a guest for an upcoming episode. And my friend used that opportunity to suggest a Nick Fuentes acolyte.

I’ll never forget my friend giggling about how cool it was that he tried to get a Nazi on a mainstream show. And as conflict-avoidant as I am in my daily life (high blood pressure leads to strokes), I called my buddy out. “You’re speaking of this in such a morality-detached way. You were asked to suggest a guest for a major network show, and you used that opportunity to promote a Nazi.”

And my friend was thrown. Morality hadn’t been in the equation for him.

Ironically, my friend is a very moral man. This was not him; it was the disease, the infection that took hold of him.

That the Nazis spreading the infection were themselves infected by things I said in my youth (I’m the Holocaust denial AIDS monkey) is crushing me. Killing me. More and more each day. I find no charm, no humor, in anyone - even good friends - who spread the debilitation. Who encourage it.

I doubt I can convey the sheer absurdity that in 1992 I put two VHS machines together in the living room of my small apartment on Beverly Drive and, as a one-off video for the Institute for Historical Review (at the time led by a Scientologist more interested in profit than historiography), edited some footage from my recent European research trip so that the IHR could offer a video to its supporters, and over three decades later, that video - which in 1992 I thought I’d never hear of again because it was literally just a one-off for the Scientologist - has not only inspired a tsunami of idiocy, from Fuentes to Peters to Bilzerian, but in 2024 the richest man in the world retweeted an X account dedicated to distributing the video, and in 2023 Democrat members of the United States Congress signed a resolution in which they condemned GOP Rep. Gosar for promoting the video, just as several years earlier House GOPs condemned Democrat Rep. Kaptur for praising the video.

A VHS video I did in my living room in 1992 thinking I’d never hear about it again has in the 2020s been condemned by BOTH parties and promoted by the world’s first trillionaire. How the fuck does that even happen? It’s surreal on a level I can’t communicate. I dare say it’s uniquely surreal; I doubt you’ll find a similar case.

So let’s cut to the chase…

A year ago I presented you guys with a GiveSendGo to raise $10,000 to see me through the writing of my book about the Holocaust denial cult. I chose what I felt to be a reasonable figure, not nearly close to the $800,000 rightists gave to Shiloh Hendrix for screaming “nigger” at a child, or the $900,000 a year Fuentes receives for going “sieg heil” on a podcast, or the $2,000,000 Nick Alvear (the Holocaust denier who also claims the Rothschilds faked the Titanic sinking) monetizes on Twitch and Rumble, or the (so far) $350,000 you’ve given “Chud the Builder,” the armed podcaster who screams “nigger” at random blacks hoping one of them will “chimp out” and charge at him so he can “drop a nigger for likes and shares” (“Chud” is currently in custody in Tennessee for “dropping a nigger for likes and shares,” and rightists are rewarding him for it).

Last year I asked for ten, and you graciously gave me ten. And that ten saw me through last summer’s Republican Party Animal second edition rewrites and additions, and the bulk of the writing of the Holocaust denial book. I’m with a very small publisher; meager money, meager author support. Your donations matter, and I’m grateful. Because it’s not that I’m broke; it’s that I’m unemployable. There’s a difference. I have to be careful with my own money because I live on my savings. If I were an actual Holocaust denier, I’d have an army behind me. But my work antagonizes all extremes. Hence why in the past five years alone I’ve been attacked by Tucker Carlson, Steve Bannon, and Raheem Kassam on the right, and Debra Messing, Keith Olbermann, and Media Matters on the left.

It’s fun to say, “if extremists on all sides hate you, you must be doing something right,” but in real-world terms, it ain’t fun. It’s a pain in the ass, because you don’t get the support extremists give to other extremists.

I know I’m never gonna get “n-word money,” the bucks rightists shell out to anyone who yells “nigger” or “Nazi.”

So I keep my requests reasonable.

In my fight against the tards who continue to post my 1992 video, I have only one weapon in my arsenal: the DMCA. Federal copyright law. Even Elon Musk has to respect DMCA takedown notices. I hold the copyright to that 1992 video, and no matter where it appears - X, YouTube, Rumble, Bitchute, Odysee, the Internet Archive, I get it pulled.

All human things are subject to DMCA,
And, when Dave summons, even autists must obey.

On one level, that works; I’ve removed over 500 uploads. The number of deniers who post the video on X has markedly decreased. It’s gone from five or ten a day in 2023 after Musk took over Twitter to about once or twice a day now, because word has spread - upload it, get a copyright strike.

DMCA is SO effective, I’ve even gotten entire web pages pulled from neo-Nazi sites. As you can see in the URL, this is where one particular Heinrich had the video hosted:

HostGator’s “commitment to free speech” doesn’t mean shit before my DMCA rights. In this time of Nazi triumphalism, DMCA can stop ‘em dead.

But…pulling videos isn’t changing minds or undoing damage. So many deniers have that video stored in their computers, they just reupload it again and again and again. It’s an eternal struggle, and I do not plan to be on this fucking globe for an eternity.

Giving the devil his due, several deniers, butthurt from my copyright strikes, have beefed, “If Cole’s 1992 video is so misleading, why doesn’t he just do a new video explaining why.” They’re not wrong (arguably the only time deniers have ever been not wrong). And indeed, I used to do anti-denial “explainer” videos all the time on my old YouTube channel, until Media Matters got it nuked in 2023.

So yeah…pulling the 1992 video isn’t enough. I need to produce a new one, showing point-by-point where the old one was wrong, where it was right, and where it was pure propaganda. Plus, I can’t do copyright strikes on the talk shows I did on NBC and CBS. That shit stays online because I have no DMCA claim to it (NBC and CBS do, but hey - for them, views is views!). So I have to answer for that too. Again, point-by-point.

But here’s the thing: this new “setting the record straight’ video cannot be a for-sale item. It has to be released online for free. On demand. Downloadable, flooding the ‘net to overtake the original. That means I can’t ask my publisher to fund it, because there’s no profit in it, and they barely have two cents as it is. So I come to you.

You’re all I got. And that’s not a complaint; you’re a small but loyal bunch. I love you guys. I’d rather have one hundred of you than one hundred-thousand of the creeps who throw money at Fuentes, Hendrix, and “Chud.”

Can we do this? Fund one more thing? Doing a video will not be easy for me; I live in hotels, I work from a laptop (not quite “I live in a shack, I poop in an outhouse,” but close enough). My editing suite from my old house? My desktop and monitor? Gone, gone, gone. But hell, Avengers VI: Emperor Galactafuk and the Search for the Malubrious Cubes was edited on a laptop, and Lucas edited Star Wars XIX: The Cantankalorians’ Revengeance on his iPhone.

It can be done. And I have to do it.

Now, I could stop here. Here’s the new GiveSendGo for the video project. I’m asking for another ten grand. I genuinely hope you find the concept worthy of your hard-earned dollars. Unlike the “n-words” grifters, I don’t feel entitled to your money, nor do I take your generosity for granted.

Again, here’s the GiveSendGo. Anyone who puts in over $1,000 will, if they want, receive co-producer credit (there’s no profit here, but there IS a legacy: your name preserved as one of the good guys).

As I said, I could stop here. I’ve written enough, so you can stop reading of you’d like. But I’m gonna go a little further, for two reasons: to provide a bit more context for my demoralization, and to defend my work against the arguments of one of my demoralizers.

This demoralizer is another good friend of mine (though certainly different from the one who borrowed money from the Jew to appear on a show that badmouths the Jew).

We’ll refer to this person as “Friendo.”

Last September, after Tucker Carlson hosted yet another Holocaust denier, I questioned if anybody out there actually cares about accurate history anymore:

And Friendo wasted no time DMing me to let me know how right I was:

Friendo makes several core errors of thinking here. The first is the belief that everything that happens is organic. The “everything’s organic” mantra is the mirror image of the “everything’s a conspiracy” mantra. Two sides of the same bad penny. Conspiracists believe that every event, every hiccup, accident, and human action, is the result of a puppeteer making it happen. That’s retarded, of course. But the mirror image is just as bad. “Everything’s organic” presupposes that nothing is influenced by the hand of man. It’s all fated, predestined. Human influence doesn’t exist.

Organicism holds that the “pet rock” fad of the 1970s would’ve happened with or without advertising exec Gary Dahl and his two investors, George Coakley and John Heagerty. Even without Dahl, Coakley, and Heagerty, people in 1975 would’ve still purchased rocks as pets. Because men influence nothing.

Conspiracism and organicism are equally wrong. And Friendo trots out organicism in this case to claim that the reason there were no “Booth was framed!” conspiracy theories in the American mainstream in 1945 is because “no one cared.”

That’s horseshit. There were no “Booth was framed!” conspiracy theories in the American mainstream in 1945 because A) such theories would’ve been ruthlessly crushed by the government had they started to gain ground, and B) the wealthiest man on earth and the most-read ideologues in the U.S. were not promoting them.

If the right people had been telling Americans to care, and funding efforts to make them care, Americans would’ve cared.

Think of how fucking inorganic it is that a wooden door from a German-run camp in Poland in 1944 is mentioned a thousand times a day online and pushed as something important by X’s biggest “influencers.” Go ahead - type “wooden doors” into the X search box. Multiple different rightists post about it every hour.

What could possibly be LESS organic than an 80-year-old German/Polish wooden door factoring into 2026 American politics? Friendo would claim that the wooden door people “care” because of some organic process. Not influence, but fate!

Again, horseshit.

That wasn’t fated to happen; I made it happen with my propaganda video that won’t die, and Musk made it happen via his obsession with promoting Holocaust denial.

I doubt Friendo believes that tranny-mania among teens happened organically. These kids were influenced by teachers, sociologists, and doctors. That there was no tranny-mania in high schools in 1980 is not because “nobody cared;” it’s because nobody was pushing it. Nobody was influencing the spread of the pathology. Default in 1980 was that teachers, counselors, doctors, and sociologists did not tell children to lop off their privates. That was default, normal. Then humans created a manufactured mania, the solution to which is not to invoke organicism and sigh “I guess kids care about this now; ho-hum, nothing we can do about it,” but rather to exert influence in the other direction, to stop the mania.

Sadly, once an abysmal idea (be it trannyism or Holocaust denial) is pushed aggressively enough by the right people, once it takes hold, once it permeates, it becomes very hard to kill. And if that abysmal idea permeates enough, opportunistic politicians will either cater to it, or at least avoid challenging it.

In January, a New Hampshire GOP state rep introduced an education bill amendment that would make the teaching of Holocaust denial mandatory in all NH public schools. To cement his case he invited two of the most extremist Holocaust deniers in the world (guys who’ve used my 1992 work) to testify. His proposal was seconded by another GOP rep, who thanked the deniers and her party kinsman for their “bravery” in proposing the resolution. And nobody’s said a fucking word. Not a single GOP, of course, but also not a single Dem. And no reporter outside Jewish media will even talk about it. There was ONE article about it in The Forward, and one piece on NPR.

And that’s IT.

Meditate on this for a moment: In 2023 Congressional Democrats denounced my 1992 video, but they’ve yet to denounce the two Holocaust-denying Hitler-loving Republican state reps in NH. Isn’t that wild? Dems attack ME for something I did 34 years ago, but they won’t even mention the GOP Holocaust deniers in the NH statehouse today.

Why?

Because there’s no risk in denouncing me; I’m powerless. I’m easy prey; no “side” will come to my defense. Even my friends won’t come to my defense. But Holocaust denial’s become so mainstream, with so many defenders/advocates right and left, the Dems - the minority party in the NH House - see no reward in attacking it. They could theoretically flip two seats by going after the two Holocaust denying GOP reps, but obviously the NH Dems did the math and realized that criticizing denial would lose them more votes than they might gain.

15 years ago the NH Holocaust denial story would’ve been huge. And now it isn’t. Friendo would tell you that’s organic; that the NH Dems, who could really use some gained seats in the NH legislature, and who could really use a Nazi scandal against Republicans to deflect from Platner, “just don’t care.”

Such stupidity is beneath Friendo. Of course they care, all political parties CARE about gaining power. But the Dems see too much risk in attacking denial. 15 years ago they’d have pounced. Now they’re afraid to. It’s not about “not caring;” it’s that human hands (Musk and his minions) have made it risky to pounce. When it comes to cowardice in the face of Holocaust denial, GOPs are scared of the young terminally online rightists who carry Vance in their pocket, and Dems are scared of their pro-Palestinian anti-Israel Akbars.

Austin Franco, a Cornell University student who proudly turned down a job offer on Handshake because he “refuses to work for Jews,” made 13k during his first day on GiveSendGo ($25,000 as of now), while the Jewish employer who offered him the job is being hounded off the Internet with negative reviews on Google and Yelp (even his parents’ business is being targeted).

15 years ago, this would not have happened. Now it has happened. And there’s nothing organic about it.

Establishing that Friendo’s first critical thinking error is organicism, what’s the second?

Friendo is a very smart person, but Friendo is thinking too much like a computer. “YES! NOBODY CARES. I know this is huge to you, but HITLER DIED 80 YEARS AGO.”

“GLEEP GLEEP BOOP BOOP GLEEBLE GLEEBE BORP: I am LogiTron5000, the most logical computer in the world! GLEEEEEEEEP! As an event becomes more distant in time (GLOOOOOOOP), thus does its memory fade with each succeeding generation (MOOOOOOOP), thus does it become less important (BOOOOOOOP), so therefore it’s LOGICAL that the more years that pass following Hitler’s death, the less humans will think about him or care. THIS IS LOGICAL! LOGIC LOGIC LOGIC! GLEEEEEEEEEEEBLE!!!”

But humans are not logical. LogiTron5000 is wrong, as is Friendo. In the fleshy fallible human world, events often take on a more inflated importance as time progresses.

All those monuments to the Confederacy that were attacked and removed during BLM mania? The majority of them were built between 1910 and 1940.

I don’t know if you guys are history buffs or not, but the Civil War ended in 1865.

So all those precious Confederate monuments and memorials went up between 45 and 75 years AFTER the war ended and the Confederacy died.

Explain that, LogiTron5000!

“Gleeble-glurble…SYSTEM MALFUNCTION! BOOP BOOP BOOP! Shutting down… brrrrrrzzzzzzzzzsssssphhhhhtttt.”

And blacks didn’t realize that it was the most important thing on earth for those monuments to fall until 2020, a century after the monuments went up.

Certain matters GROW in importance as time passes. And again it’s NOT organic. In the early 1900s, the Ladies Memorial Associations, the United Daughters of the Confederacy, the United Confederate Veterans, the Sons of Confederate Veterans, and the Heritage Preservation Association spearheaded and paid for the construction of the monuments, which - and this was no coincidence - were built around the time of the “second Klan” revival, the rebirth of the KKK in opposition to increasing demands from those pesky nigras to have a measure of freedom.

People were behind the 1900s monument craze. Not fate; people. The passage of time meant NOTHING as statues were erected in 1925 to honor dudes who’d been dead 60 years. General Rufus T. McNigghayter dies on the battlefield in 1864. In 1924 Miss Elsie Meriwether Coonwhip decides to build a monument to him. Friendo tells her, “Nobody cares! 60 years have passed and nobody cares about it.”

And Elsie Coonwhip replies, “I do declare, ah shall make people care,” and she builds the monument, and by 2017 it’s become such an integral part of her city and her culture that when BLM activists threaten the statue, thousands of rightists hold a rally to save it, because they care. In 2017 they care deeply about something Friendo told Elsie “nobody cares about” in 1924.

Humans make other humans care.

For blacks, a group forever searching for a scapegoat for their community’s collective failures, and for Dems, a group constantly looking for ways to mobilize blacks against “the man,” the political opportunism of the post-Ferguson, post-Charleston massacre, post-Unite the Right, and post-Floyd era created an environment in which “all of a sudden” removing those statues became a matter of life or death.

That fanaticism wasn’t organic; it was manufactured. Over the decades how many times did black folks walk past that statue of Rufus Nigghayter without a second thought? Thousands. Then all of a sudden they cared. Blacks who didn’t care about Confederate statues in 2000 all of a sudden cared like crazy in 2020.

Holocaust remembrance only became a “thing” in the 1970s. To be clear - I’m saying Holocaust remembrance, not Holocaust history. Holocaust history was a field since January 1953 with the publication of Reitlinger’s The Final Solution. But the monuments, the museums, followed nearly the exact same timeline as Confederate monuments (roughly 35-40 years after the event). People and circumstances made a thing more emotionally important in distance than it was in proximity.

Holocaust denial has increased in popularity as time has moved on. Because it’s not about history. Any more than black rage over Confederate monuments is about history.

Angry young whites - especially males - want a scapegoat. Like blacks in 2020 regarding the monuments, they want a target, something upon which to pin their failures, something to strike at, to vent their rage…rage that’s largely unwarranted. The average black who vandalized Confederate monuments was far more likely to be a victim of his own failings than a victim of state oppression. Ditto young rightist men, who blame their disappointing lives on everyone but themselves. “Boomers! Whores! Niggers! You dun me wrong! You stole my dreams!”

But though these young and numerous cretins blame Boomers, blacks, and wimmin, first and foremost they blame Jews. Boomers are too old to outfox a GROYPER! Blacks are too dumb. And no dame can outthink a MAMMOTH SLAYER!

But Jews? Those high-IQ demons? They are the key to the entire young white male victimization worldview.

And Holocaust denial is the gateway drug to that worldview. It’s why the worst of the worst - Fuentes, Peters, Shields - started with denial.

I explain the “gateway” phenomenon in my upcoming book, but to give you the broad strokes, denial is the entry point because:

A) It’s secular. Not every bitter young rightist is religious. “They dun killded our Jeezus” doesn’t fly with everybody. Indeed, a lot of these young Hitler fanboys see Christianity itself as Jew trickery, a turn-the-other-cheek lie to make whites weak and submissive. Denial is a secular cult, but unlike other secular cults like Scientology, you don’t have to accept anything otherworldly to join. No alien souls or e-meters, just “I’ve been lied to my entire life by a group of antiwhite parasites who concocted a hoax to enslave my people!”

Which leads to…

B) It’s personal. A white kid in Shitkick Nebraska can’t relate to Palestinians. He can pretend to empathize with ‘em, but their fight, and their ethnicity, and their religion, is alien to him. He couldn’t find Gaza on a map with a halal divining rod. I’ve screen recorded over 1,000 interactions with random denier cultists since Musk unleashed them and one of the most common themes is, “The Jews lied to me!” Accent on the ME. Deniers see themselves as having been personally lied to in school, brainwashed in school. Thus they’ve made the fight personal to themselves in a way Gaza can never be. “I was only an innocent lad when the Jews inflicted their Holohoax on my tender mind. But I’ve broken the hold, freed my mind, and now I must free others.” With denial, everyone’s Neo.

Main Character Syndrome. Young whites can’t get that from Gaza.

While there’s no shortage of white Zoomers who’ve had a bad experience with a black person, Jews don’t mug or carjack people. They don’t defecate in the alley behind your apartment or aggressively panhandle outside stores. Your odds of having a direct personal experience in which a Jew assaults you are very low. Most complaints about Jews - GAZA! ROTHSCHILDS! AIPAC! are distant, abstract, impersonal.

Only through Holocaust denial - “they lied to me in school” - can white American Zoomers claim direct harm from Jews. That’s why it’s become a right of passage, an essential element, among youthful rightists.

C) Denial can be sold to decent people. Candace Owens’ “Jews drink Christian blood at Passover” and “Jews are of their father the Devil” can only be sold to the mentally ill or consciously evil. But “By gosh by gum by golly, we should be able to question our history books awww shuck-amuck” can be sold to anyone. Good people, decent people, leftists, rightists, centrists. Because of course “we should be able to question our history books, dad-gummit.” But for deniers it’s an affectation, a bit, a shtick. Of my 1,000 denier interaction screenshots, some of my favorites are when a denier first approaches me with “Gum-nabbit, I just wanna know the truth, dang-diddly-dernit,” but a few pointed questions later they explode with “YOU FUCKING KIKE I’LL KILL YOU! DIE MAGGOT!”

I can see through the affectations because…

D) I fucking invented them. I’m ashamed to say this, but denial is a gateway because 34 years ago I inadvertently created the memes that make it makes sense. Or at least appear to make sense. I was right about just enough to make the propaganda seem airtight, and my practiced theater kid delivery on those talk shows sold the bill of goods. Remember, I wasn’t just a high school theater kid; by age 16 I was doing Anglo-American summer stock. I’m good. Better than James O’Keefe or any of today’s conservative theater kids. Add to the mix that when I did those talk shows, my opposition was under orders from lantern-jawed gorgon Deborah Lipstadt to not “engage” me on-air. So great work, assholes. You made a 21-year-old kid look like the winner of a debate he would’ve lost had you just challenged me.

That’s why those TV clips endure. Because I come off looking so fucking correct. But that doesn’t mean I was correct.

With all due respect, you folks have lost any concept of what true propaganda is, because your modern-day examples of propagandists - Tucker, Owens, Jones, etc. - are just liars. That’s why their work has no staying power. Notice that? They move from one lie to the next, the previous one forgotten. Tucker and his “Egyptian planes” that he was so big on…where’d they go? Candace and her blood-drinking Jews? Jones and, well…everything he’s ever said? These are short attention span liars for the meme generation.

The study of my 1992 video is a study of long-term effective propaganda, which isn’t “lying” per se, but being right on points but wrong or missing on context. The next gen of my 1992 video isn’t an outright liar like Tuck but rather 99% of all “true crime” podcast producers who don’t so much lie as creatively omit.

So E), Holocaust denial’s staying power. My zero-budget video, which gets more popular over the decades - will retain its staying power because it’s (inadvertently on my part) that fucking good. It will not die on its own because for 34 years is HASN’T died on its own. It has to be killed by its maker.

If I don’t get this shit straightened out before I die, my life will have been not only for nothing, but for the worse.

Please help me get that new video done.

You can count on Holocaust denial becoming a bigger and bigger deal, because young rightists who’ve embraced victimhood, and Vance, who’s embraced the worst wing of the Zoomer right, will make it a bigger and bigger deal. As long as young, bitter, self-pitying whites continue to feel wronged and unfulfilled - and they will - the passage of time will not diminish the psychological importance of the Holocaust in the worldview of these victimization-embracing kids. The passage of time will only magnify the importance.

As the MAGA Boomers - and as much as I mock their flag-waving sentimentality, they’re the last bastion of decency on the right - die out, what’s coming up behind them is a generation of activists who will ONLY be interested in how a policy helps “fight the Jews.” You don’t like immigration? Why are you demanding a wall? Only ENDING THE JEWS will save the white race. Birthright citizenship? Why are you trying to end it? We need more Muslims as citizens, to FIGHT THE JEWS.

“No Somali ever lied to me when I was in third grade!”

Get ready to hear that a LOT.

You have no idea what’s coming; I do. Holocaust denial will become to the right what DEI became to the left: an essential element. We have to kill it now. Doubt me, Friendo? Go to your emails and see who owes who the steak dinner for a lost bet about future events.

You can take that steak dinner money and put it in the GiveSendGo and we’ll call it even (steak dinner for two at Mastro’s - $300 without wine, $500 with. And we’d have certainly had wine).

In 2023, when German billionaire Peter Theil founded Passage Press to give voice to important rightists like Raw Beef Bronzer and Mendacious Bogman, he hired a suave, handsome gent to run the operation: “Lomez” - aka Jonathan Keeperman - a former teacher.

Keeperman benefits from the “Speer Principle.” Albert Speer wasn’t the best looking guy on earth…he was no Errol Flynn or Gabby Hayes. But because the other top Nazis were so incredibly ugly, Speer was lauded for being visually pleasing. And yeah, grading on a far-right curve, Keeperman’s a keeper, man (you gotta know the openly gay Thiel made that joke at least once).

In January 2024 Keeperman/Lomez came to my house to discuss a book deal, in the company of my buddy Blake Neff and current Trump administration Under Secretary of State Sarah Rogers. Keeperman told me that he wanted to reprint Republican Party Animal and publish my anti-denial book. I explained that my goal is to kill the denial cult, and Keeperman agreed that it’s a worthy one. I further explained that the only way to fight denier ideological orthodoxy is to also acknowledge the flaws with the mainstream ADL orthodoxy.

Again, he agreed. Indeed, he got so pumped, he excitedly tweeted to tease the deal:

I thought I had an ally, but because the boss was Thiel, I only had an axis. He offered me $3,000 for two books - the RPA second edition and the from-scratch anti-denial book. And that’s just insulting, especially from a guy worth $28 billion.

But Lomez/Keeperman, a teacher, understood the importance of what I’m trying to do. And I ended up going with a publishing company that offered just a tad more. Barely a tad, but I don’t turn my nose up at tads.

BTW, since I mentioned Blake, he’s getting nonstop attacked on X right now by the Carlsons (Tuck n’ Buck), who accuse him of covering up Charlie Kirk’s true murderers: the Jews. Tuck and his brother even claim that Blake framed an innocent tranny to take the fall. The CarlSSons are mocking Blake’s looks, and siccing their minions on him daily. And “friends” who have profited from Blake are just letting it happen.

See, that’s where we are now. People don’t speak up, even for friends, because there’s risk in doing so, and reward in not doing so. The Jew-haters are okay with that…for the moment. Once they get more power, you will have to agree with them. Cowardly silence satisfies them for the moment; soon it will not. And cowards in silence now will be cowards in compelled agreement then.

It was not always so that every Dem had to be pro-tranny. It was enough to just not be anti-tranny. You were allowed to stay silent, neutral. That’s certainly not the case anymore, because once the trans lobby gained just enough power to be able to bully, bully they did. Silence stopped being an option; it became advocate or be shunned.

That’s your future once the anti-Jewish Zoomers and their shepherds like Carson get in the door with Vance. Right now my cowardly friends can satisfy the bullies with “non-opposition.” Soon enough, open advocacy will be demanded.

That’s just how these things progress.

And they will progress…if we don’t do something while we can. And what I can do, uniquely, is kill the gateway drug.

A year ago, you guys helped me out with ten grand to see me through those two books. You stepped up when a billionaire wouldn’t. The Palantir guy’s own front man was like, “this is important work,” but Thiel wouldn’t pony up an amount that is literally valet money to him. But you, my loyal friends and readers, who are not worth $28 billion, did what needed to be done.

And I’m grateful. The RPA second edition with all its new content is a week away from release, and the denial book will come out at the end of the year.

Can we rally one last time for the video I want to do? The not-for-profit video that can, hopefully, flood the ‘net and bring reason where it’s most needed to kill the cult of unreasonables who’ve distilled my 57 years on this earth into one afternoon in my apartment in 1992 when I plugged two VHS machines into each other?

I love you guys, and I respect you guys. This might be a sweet cesspool, but that doesn’t mean we can’t beautify it a bit.

A little ignorance fought, a little ignorance countered, a little human influence in the right direction to counter the influence coming from the other end, will really spruce this cesspool up!

Here’s the GiveSendGo link. And thank you for reading all the way through.

One more time: the GiveSendGo link. Or, if you prefer, Buy Me a Beer or PayPal.

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But it can wait a week, because I’m sure y’all want something about the L.A. mayoral primary.

In light of the “Mumbai Miracle” - poo-flinging Tamil communist Nithya Raman magically overtaking Spencer Pratt due to a flood of “late ballots” in L.A.’s weeklong vote-count marathon - I want to have a final word about the city of my birth.

And that word is “goodbye.”

To be clear, Raman’s bud-bud-budding ascension in the primary was not part of some grand conspiracy courtesy of “mastermind” Bass. Bass wanted Pratt as her opponent. Bass would’ve slaughtered Pratt in the general, and with him as her opponent, she’d have been able to spend the summer running against Trump. Now she’s forced to run against someone to her left. A fucking nightmare! She has to pummel Raman’s extremism without coming off as “right wing.” Pratt’s defeat has taken Republicans out of the picture; it’s now a Dem-on-Dem fight, and Bass will have to defend her record while also being “rightist” enough to condemn Raman’s leftism while staying leftist enough to not be accused of being rightist. For Bass, the race went from a cakewalk to a tightrope walk.

Bass did NOT want this. Polls show Raman might win in the general. This is Bass’ worst-case scenario. She’s dumb but not that dumb; she knows this’ll be an uphill climb.

Worse still for Bass, had Pratt been her opponent, Bass would’ve cleaned up in fundraising. But now that she’s running against a fellow Dem, that cuts her fundraising ability at least in half. Maybe more. L.A.’s hipster leftists will make Raman their cause célèbre; Bass will likely get maybe 30% of the money she’d have gotten running against MAGA Pratt and uniting all leftists on her side.

Now, does something feel “off” about Raman’s sudden come-from-behind victory over Pratt? After all, Raman’s election-night tears as she assumed she was a goner didn’t suggest someone who knew they had a secret plan in place that would turn the tide days later. I doubt her weepy concession speech was a put-on; if you’ve ever watched an Indian movie, you know - these curried mutherfuckers can’t act.

But sure, something does feel off about her Masala Miracle.

L.A. is known for the political disinterest of its Mexicans. They don’t vote, and they don’t vote in droves. Generally, Mexicans live by their trifecta: Trabajo, Cerveza, Siesta.

Votación is not part of that.

L.A.’s blacks went 100% for Bass, and the white hipsters of Raman’s district don’t have the numbers to surge Raman (indeed, Raman actually LOST her own district). If there’s foulness afoot, it’s not the killer Venezuelan robot voting machines of Trump’s fever dreams. It’s something a bit more mundane (and therefore, a lot scarier).

In 2022, there was a recall effort to remove George Soros’ soft-on-crime, hard-on-victims District Attorney Gascon. To put the recall on the ballot, the organizers had to bring in 566,857 signatures. They delivered 715,833. But the L.A. registrar/recorded only verified 520,000. Why? Because the leftist registrar did a hard count, meaning every single signature was examined under a microscope. An “i” without a dot? A “t” without a cross? DISALLOWED! This is the power of the registrar/recorder - examine signatures or ballots with a hard gaze or a soft focus.

The recall organizers filed suit, with ample evidence that the registrar/recorder had “improperly invalidated at least 39% of the 195,783 rejected signatures, thereby preventing the recall from appearing on the ballot.”

But by the time the lawsuit would’ve been settled, the 2024 election would’ve already arrived. So recall organizers scrapped the idea of a recall and focused on ending Gascon in the general. And of course that’s what happened; Gascon was slaughtered in 2024, 60% to 40% in favor of tough-on-crime DA Hochman. That’s countywide. And in L.A. city, Hochman won 10 of the city’s 15 council districts. He won, and Gascon lost, not just in the county but the city.

The matter of the 195,783 disallowed signatures should’ve been investigated, but of course legal action became moot once Gascon was booted electorally. Still, the lawsuit might’ve exposed how a count can be skewed not by MAGA’s killer robot boogeymen, but by a hard count vs. a soft one.

My hunch regarding the Raman “surge” is that Raman ballots were “soft-eyed.” Again, a lawsuit over the dismissed Gascon recall signatures would’ve been helpful. If the registrar/recorder was shown to have skewed the results not by stealing ballots, or stuffing ballots, or contracting with killer robots, but by employing unreasonably hard focus, that would’ve been significant, if only as a lesson in how tides can be turned by hard focus vs. soft gaze.

We’ll never know.

Too bad.

Raman obviously had an effective vote-accumulating machine, but considering that she lost her own district, which is very upscale in parts and fairly upscale in others, I wonder how many of those “miracle ballots” came from Shit Row, and therefore how many of them would’ve withstood the hard glare the registrar/recorder reserved for Gascon recall signatures.

But there’ll be no investigation. Bass might not be happy facing off against Raman, but she’s not gonna cry foul. That would lose her even MORE leftist support.

If elected, Raman will destroy L.A. Even with all the genuine faults the city has, we’ve never had a wacky mayor. Not in my 57 years. Wacky mayors are for New York, Chicago, or Philly.

“I’m Slappy Pappy O’Houlihan o’ Chicago, and a vote fer me is a vote fer FREE WHISKEY, ya yobs. Drink up, me boyos!”

“I’m Peniorellio LaGabagoolia a’ New York! Vote fer me and I’ll come to yer home and play poker wit’ ya while servin’ pecciomeccio pasta fazooooli!”

“I’m Frank Rizzo of Philly. Vote for me and I’ll put niggers and faggots in a meat grinder.”

(That last one isn’t satirical)

L.A. mayors are lowkey, and even our worst are not as bad as their worst (Garcetti, the moron who claimed you could catch Covid by jogging alone on a beach, nevertheless refused to defund the police during Floydmania).

Raman will be something new: a flamboyant Third World lunatic who 100% wants to defund the police.

I reluctantly have to support Bass in the general.

Or I would, were it still my problem.

But it ain’t.

I’m still in L.A., but I’m no longer in L.A.

Remember: L.A. is both a city and a county. I’ve tried to explain this to you before, but all I heard back was “DUH-DERRRRRRP.” So I’ll try again.

Los Angeles is the name of a city. A city of 3.8 million people (second most populous city in the U.S.). But Los Angeles is also the name of the county in which the city of Los Angeles sits. A county of 10 million, the most populous county in the U.S.

There are 88 cities within the county of L.A.

88? BASED!

But that’s how big the county is; 88 fucking cities.

Understand?

Now, the mayor’s race - Bass v. Pratt v. Raman, was a CITY race. It was a race in the city of Los Angeles, which is one of the 88 cities in the county.

L.A. city is bluer than L.A. county. L.A. county has many reddish areas, like Beverly Hills and the South Bay cities. L.A. city does have its red-leaning areas, from the Orthodox oygenflaygins of Pico-Robertson to the Persians of Westwood. There are industrious, freedom-loving Persians in Beverly Hills, which IS a city, and there are even more Persians in Westwood (nicknamed “Tehrangeles”), but Westwood is a neighborhood in L.A. city NOT its own city, while Beverly Hills IS a city in L.A. county.

I’ve written many times about the “invisible borders” that separate L.A. city from Beverly Hills, or Beverly Hills city from West Hollywood, which is a city, or West Hollywood from Hollywood, which is NOT a city but a neighborhood in L.A. city.

Dizzying, ain’t it? I feel like a Jap trying to explain Shintoism to a Protestant.

The funny thing is, people expect these borders to be marked. Especially the Beverly Hills city/L.A. city border. Like, there’s supposed to be a grand arch or something.

Dude, here’s the L.A. city/BH city border:

That’s the border - Whitworth Dr. There’s nothing to mark it. If you’re north of Whitworth, you’re in BH city in L.A. county. South? L.A. city in L.A. county. The only difference is the paving is darker on the BH side.

As you can also see, the Beverly Hills Marriott (marked by the X), my home of last year, is on the south side of Whitworth.

So it’s NOT in Beverly Hills. Hence why the rates are reasonable. North of Whitworth? THOSE hotels are for the DiCaprios and Pitts and Affleckses, the people who make $20 mil per movie to stand in front of a green screen wearing superhero pajamas yelling “DAMN YOU THERACULON, I WILL DEFEAT YOU WITH THE GALUBRIOUS CUBES!” But the Beverly Hills-though-not-actually-Beverly Hills Marriott? A normal bloke like me can stay there, because it’s south of Whitworth.

And boy oh boy, was I reminded every day that I was in L.A. not BH. From my room on the top floor, I’d look down and see street shitters aplenty, squawking “GAAACK GAAACK MARAAACK” as they shambled up and down the block. The part of BH that’s close to the L.A. border is, well, too close to the L.A. border. If Raman becomes mayor of L.A. city, the parts of BH city that are near those invisible borders will be infected by her love of homeless and hatred of policing.

The south part of BH is like Grace Kelly cheek-to-cheek with a flea-ridden dog; she didn’t start out with fleas, but she’ll get ‘em by proximity.

Every day when I’d leave the hotel to walk to the grocery store, it was a game of “avoid stepping on the human loaves left the night before by L.A.’s detritus.” We had top-notch security guards at the hotel, and we needed ‘em, because every week some or another street shitter would try to charge into the lobby at 2am to raid the “general store” reserved for guests.

To her credit, Bass called police defunding “the stupidest idea ever,” which is not to defend her but to point out how radical Raman is for L.A. city. Raman is also on record stating that the homeless have a “human right” to fling their feces at outdoor diners. I’m not making that up; I wrote about it years ago at Takimag.

Raman’s biggest Hollywood supporters include king of the hipsters Adam Conover from the Los Feliz/Silver Lake district Raman serves. He’s her main booster, her main fundraiser. Along with Tim Heidecker, the god-king of bad hipster comedy, and Mindy Kaling, a wealthy jub-jub like Raman herself.

Raman tells her followers, “The white Bourgeoisie deserves to be hit in the face with human feces as they have dinner,” and white bourgies like Conover and Heidecker applaud.

I cannot say, “someone should hit Adam Conover and Tim Heidecker in the face with human feces as they are eating.” I cannot say that because it would be construed as a threat, a solicitation of violence. Threats and solicitations of violence are illegal, and ol’ Dave never breaks the law. But considering that Conover and Heidecker’s white hipster fans cheer assassin Luigi Mangione, and considering that Conover and Heidecker are on record stating that getting smacked in the face with human feces while dining is no big deal because the homeless have a “right” to do it, I might, if not declare, at least suggest, that the person who finds a way to smack Conover or Heidecker in the face with human feces while they’re eating might just be our greatest champion, the hero we need, the hero we deserve, and a hero I’m sure many good folks would support with a GiveSendGo to cover legal costs.

When I relocated from Beverly Hills on January 1st this year, I knew one thing - I gotta be far from L.A. city. I’m still in L.A. county, but in one of the cities that doesn’t border L.A. city. I’m in a place where sidewalk muffins do not exist. I doubt I’ll ever set foot in L.A. city again. And if Raman is elected, I suggest you follow suit.

Goodbye L.A.

And good luck.

Since We’re Talking Elections…

I find it endlessly fascinating that rightists, many of whom believe that the 2020 election was “stollen” by murderous Venezuelan robot voting machines, accuse “the Jews” of stealing the Kentucky GOP primary from Massie by…spending money on commercials.

Wait…what? In a world in which killer South American robots have the ability to hack computers and steal ballots, to automatically alter ballots within the computer after the voter turns his back, to create false flag water pipe leaks at polling stations as misdirection while truckloads of blank ballots are unloaded and filled out by counters as everyone else is busy with the broken main, you’re angry at Jews for above-board spending on commercials?

Man, we Jews are some primitive-ass vote stealers! Venezuelans have mastered vote-transforming robots, while we’re still buying commercial time like it’s Eisenhower/Stevenson. I thought we were the high-IQ ones! Somebody call Steve Sailer and ask him at what point did Venezuelans pass us on the bell curve.

Ann Coulter, one of Massie’s staunchest defenders, recently had as a guest on her podcast a NY Times reporter who stressed that the commercials paid for by “the Jews” focused NOT on Israel, NOT on slandering Massie, NOT on lies. The commercials merely pointed out that Trump wanted Massie defeated. The commercials “reinforced” a truth, “over and over and over again.”

All that those “Jew commercials” did was spread awareness of a fact. I doubt most GOP voters needed to be reminded that Trump wanted Massie gone, but let’s say for the sake of argument that those kike kommercials informed a thousand or so GOP voters who’d spent the previous year in a cave (Alex Jones fans awaiting the apocalypse alongside their boxes of survival kibble).

So the fuck what?

How is informing voters all of a sudden “stealing an election?” The beef with “the Jews” is that they ran commercials informing voters of something factual, that Trump wanted Massie gone. What’s the converse of Massie’s beef? That Trump’s opposition to Massie should’ve been hidden? Suppressed? I mean, if it’s “vote stealing” or “election rigging” to provide accurate info to voters, it must therefore be “fair electioneering” to hide accurate info from voters.

It’s nutty. If you don’t like Trump giving Massie the boot, take it up with Trump. But to get angry at “the Jews” for legally and openly spending their own money to accurately inform voters, well…that’s absolutely anti-Jewish on your part. Whatever “the Jews’” motives, whether disagreeing with Massie on Israel or disliking him because he assisted the political ambitions of his buddy Dan Bilzerian, a man who has explicitly stated that he wants to exterminate all Jews, or because Massie campaigned with Ryan Matta, another “exterminate the Jews” guy who wore an “American Reich” t-shirt while appearing with Massie…

…debate the motives all you like, but the commercials “the Jews” paid for were accurate, and all they did was inform voters of a fact.

When a partisan starts to argue that the only way they can win is by the suppression of facts, then that partisan has gone dirty. That partisan is a villain. Don’t blame Jews; blame the person saying “stop speaking the truth.”

Me? I’m 100% in favor of anything that brings accurate info to the attention of voters. The 2016 Democrat National Committee email leak was illegal to be sure, but it also resulted in the American public seeing what Dems were saying in private about Hillary, Bernie, and the party’s corruption. As I wrote in Takimag at the time, voters profited by being exposed to accurate info. Any rightist claiming that “Jew money” stole the Kentucky primary because a few Jews “paid for commercials” must also therefore concede that the DNC email leak stole the 2016 election. If flooding the voter pool with “too much information” equals “stealing,” then Democrats are right that 2016 was indeed “stollen” for Trump.

Massie’s just a crybaby, and his post-primary wailing about Jews just proves the oldest adage in the book: “He who assists a bearded genocidal Armenian Nazi poker player in his pursuit of exterminating Jews may himself not actually care for Jews.”

As true today as when Will Rogers said it in 1931.

Massie’s post-defeat Jew-baiting is proof we got it right; he’s a hateful schmuck. Good riddance, Herr Massie.

Ann always talks about how farm automation can reduce the need for illegal pickers. And she’s correct; the Japanese have long relied on automation to reduce the need for immigrants.

Well, Massie’s an inventor, right? That’s his big claim to fame. If crop picking/sorting machines can remove the need for Mexican laborers, maybe Massie can invent a machine that can remove the need for Jews! All that machine would have to do is cure diseases, split the atom, do your taxes, represent you in court, fill your cavities, run your hospitals, treat your depression, write the Great American Songbook, create the movie industry, and tell funny jokes about “what’s the deal with doorknobs.”

Easy-peasy, MaSSie! Get to it, you fucking shitstain Nazi loser.

Then Again, Here’s a Shitstain Nazi Winner…

With Platner’s primary victory in Maine, here’s some advice you’ll all ignore.

For years I hammered home the point, in my Takimag column and on Substack, that even the smallest sign of Nazism indicates mental instability. Hitch your horse to someone who praises Nazism, Hitler, or Nazi symbols, and you’ll be in for a bumpy ride. Because that person has a screw loose.

In 1936 Germany, sure - people who were not Nazis and not insane nevertheless went along with the program because it was the key to advancement at work and social mobility. But America 2026? Only deeply disturbed people embrace Nazism.

I’ve preached that point again and again and again.

Platner proves that point. The tattoo was just the tip of the iceberg. Dude’s a mess, from fantasizing about raping men to committing actual abuse against women. And this, too, is just the iceberg’s foreskin; way more will come out before the general.

Yet rightists look at what the Dems are going through with Platner and STILL say, "Hey, let's bring in a little BASED Nazism on our side! Just a little, for Gen Z. How could it hurt?"

There is no such thing as "a little Nazism." There is only sane or insane, stable or unstable. And all modern-day Nazi fetishists are either insane or unstable. That's a guarantee. As is the fact that Vance will continue to court the Fuentes lot, ignoring my message entirely.

Belfast Bellends

This week in Belfast a Sudanese Muslim beheaded a white guy and gouged out his eyes, in plain view, on the street, no shame, just like the other public beheadings the UK has witnessed since opening its doors to the world’s detritus.

One of my favorite sayings, repeated many times in my Taki’s column, is that there’s a difference between being “wrong” and being “the opposite of right.”

“Peter Dinklage was born in New York” is wrong; he was born in New Jersey. But it’s a simple enough error. On the other hand, saying “Peter Dinklage is known for being extremely tall” is more than wrong; it’s the opposite of right. It’s an error that could only come from the supremely stupid.

Many of my rightist pals have been on a bandwagon recently about how what’s really brave isn’t going after violent Third World immigrants. No, that’s not brave at all! What’s BRAVE is going after the JEWS who “occupy our country!” Get rid of THEM, and immigration problems will disappear.

That’s not just wrong; it’s the opposite of right. The people who go after Jews are not just “not brave,” they are in fact the biggest pussies known to man. The worst cowards. Because Jews will never behead or blind you for your criticism. The trend of going after Jews means that rightists are so fucking scared of Ungobungos and Akbars that they can only find their balls when criticizing Oygenflaygins.

Jonathan Majors punches your wife, so you go out and punch Mel Brooks for revenge.

Does that make you brave? Or a sniveling little weak pussy-faced coward?

That’s why Israel scares these people so much. Jews physically fight back in Israel, and your little game of earning X cred by posting Streicher cartoons and doing “edgy” anti-Jewish posts would screech to a fucking halt if punching back ever caught on with Western Jews.

Well don’t worry, it won’t. The North American/West European Gefiltefag will forever allow himself to be a punching bag. So sleep well; Irving Glickenschlitz will not behead you. Keep blaming him for the beheadings…if it makes you feel like a bigshot instead of the pussy you are.

BTW, there are only 440 Jews in all of Northern Ireland (out of a population of 1.9 million), and 2,300 Jews on the entire island (out of a population of 5.4 million). I’d ask the anti-Jew crowd to explain how nonexistent Jews could possibly be flooding Ireland with Third World beasts, but hey - that would be like asking Henry Cavill to actually lift a car over his head. He’s a fake superhero, just like the Jew-haters are fake braveboys.

At least Cavill makes good money pretending to be brave. What’s your fucking excuse?

Oh, right - X monetization.

Also, Irish leftists are pushing to have the beheading video banned from being shown to the public. Hey Massie fans, these open-borders micks are just like you! Too much information is BAAAAAAAD for voters.

Massie supports Dan “exterminate the Jews” Bilzerian, and campaigns with Ryan “exterminate the Jews” Matta, and all Jews did in response was…pay for some commercials. No beheadings, no eye-gougings. Just commercials.

But apparently we’re the savages.

What a world.

That’s all for now. Next week - the book update.

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And one day the bakery owner tells you, “Hey - we have a new thing going on. You can get TheCakeYouLike, but with vomit icing on top!”

And you’re like, “Vomit icing? What do you mean?”

The owner explains: “Oh, we collect human vomit, mostly from hospitals - people with stomach flu or intestinal parasites, but also from Skid Row and the toilets of popular bars, and we let it sit at room temperature for two days, to make sure we get some flyspeck in there, and then we use it as the icing on TheCakeYouLike.”

And you’re like, “My God, that’s horrible! Can I get TheCakeILike but without the vomit icing?”

“Well of course! We’d never force the vomit on you. It’s just an option. Feel free to get TheCakeYouLike with NO vomit icing.”

So a few weeks later, you see a friend of yours, a friend who shares your love of TheCakeYouLike, and there they are, eating the cake but WITH the vomit icing.

You say to your friend, “Jesus Christ almighty, why are you eating the cake WITH the vomit icing?”

And your friend replies, “Oh you big sillybilly, I don’t like the vomit icing at all! By golly, who would? It’s vomit, it’s disgusting. I just like the cake underneath.”

So of course you ask, “But then why didn’t you order the cake without the vomit icing? You can get the cake without the vomit, it’s totally an option, so why don’t you?”

Well now your friend turns sour. “What, are you accusing me of liking vomit icing? How dare you. I like the cake, as do you. I’m eating for the cake underneath, not for the vomit icing on top. I’m eating around the vomit!”

You try to reason with your friend. “You can get the cake without the vomit icing! It’s the same fucking price! It’s the cake we both like, but just the cake, with no human vomit on top.”

And now your friend gets angry. “You bastard; you’re accusing me of liking human vomit? I like the CAKE. It’s defamation to accuse me of liking vomit.”

Your mind can’t accept this. Your friend doesn’t have to order the vomit icing. They can just get the cake. Why are they ordering it with the vomit when they claim to hate the vomit?

I have several good friends who, in recent weeks, have written/blogged/posted about how Nick Fuentes and Tucker Carlson aren’t that bad after all. Oh sure, the Nazi part of them is bad. The Holocaust denial part of them is bad. Fuentes’ “we will execute all Jews” is bad. Tucker damning Dietrich Bonhoeffer to Hell for daring to oppose Hitler is bad. Fuentes’ “Hitler was cool” is bad. Tucker’s “Hitler was the good guy in WWII, and Jews killed Charlie Kirk” is bad.

But by gum, we need to embrace the part of them that’s NOT bad. Other than the Nazi stuff, they have some great views!

That’s quite literally what my friends have said.

But isn’t it reasonable to ask, what exactly are those “great” views? The views that are so amazing they merit ignoring the Nazi shit?

Well, according to my friends, Fuentes points out that Gen Z feels disenfranchised. Too much college debt, too hard to buy a house. Gen Z is bitter.

And Tucker? Well, he’s against foreign wars and foreign aid.

Wait…aren’t those two issues - Gen Z’s feelings of bitterness and isolation, and opposition to foreign wars and aid - expressed by people who don’t, at the same time, promote killing Jews and hailing Hitler?

JD Vance, the likely (not if I have anything to do with it) next GOP presidential nominee, has said that while he’s not a fan of Fuentes’ Nazi views, he thinks it’s important to focus on Fuentes’ non-Nazi views.

But are those Fuentes’ views? Apart from the Nazi/Hitler/Holocaust stuff, apart from the “cookie monster” meme - dead Jews compared to baked cookies, which was definitely a unique Fuentes innovation - what other views of his can be said to be uniquely his?

Many, many commentators who are NOT Nazis have skillfully and insightfully written about Gen Z, college debt, the housing market for young people, and alienation from the political process. Many commentators who are not Tucker Carlson, who are not Holocaust deniers who claim that hating Hitler is anti-Christian, have opposed foreign wars and foreign aid.

You see my cake analogy coming into focus. The “good things” expressed by Fuentes and Carlson - concern over Gen Z and the economy, worries over foreign intervention - have long been expressed by commentators who DON’T add the “love Nazis/kill Jews” icing on top. In other words, you can easily get that cake without the vomit. There is nothing that Fuentes and Carlson say that’s original or exclusive, other than the Nazi shit (and in Carlson’s case, the “demons raped me” bit). Fuentes’ “good views” are things he’s simply copied and pasted from others. Fuentes isn’t an economist; he’s a gay Mexican Nazi who makes $900,000 a year going “kill the Jews.” Anything Fuentes says about Gen Z and its economic woes, he’s cribbed from other, better, saner commentators.

So why not promote THOSE guys? Why not promote the sane ones, the non-Nazi ones? Why promote the guys who copy the cake but add the vomit?

You have a choice. You have the choice to promote opponents of foreign wars and foreign aid who are NOT Nazis, or to promote opponents of foreign wars and foreign aid who also, at the same time, say “The Holocaust didn’t happen but let’s make it happen now.” You have the choice to promote non-Nazi commentators who rationally examine Gen Z in relation to the economy, or to promote guys who parrot those views but ADD Holocaust denial and genocide advocacy.

You can have the cake without the vomit icing, or you can have the cake with the vomit icing.

When you choose the cake with the vomit icing, you are making a choice. And you should be held to it.

I am finished with hearing friends say, “Oh, I’m only choosing the Nazi frosting for the cake underneath.” Because if you can get that exact same cake without the Nazi frosting, and you CHOOSE to get the one with the Nazi frosting, you are a fucking Nazi.

If you choose the vomit icing cake over the same cake without the vomit, then you are a degenerate lover of human vomit.

Period.

I’m done with pretending otherwise.

Vance says, “I don’t like Fuentes as a person, of course! I don’t like the Nazi part of his views. But we need to appreciate all the good things he says!”

Vance is a Nazi. Because there’s not a single “good” thing Fuentes says that isn’t cribbed from non-Nazis who could easily be platformed in Fuentes’ place.

If you have the option of ordering the cake without the vomit topping, but you order it with the vomit topping, that means you like eating vomit.

If you choose the Nazi topping when a non-Nazi version of the same cake is available, you’re a Nazi, or at least a Nazi sympathizer.

Yeah, I get it. You’re bitter because “we Jews” forced Trump to abandon immigration restrictionism in favor of the Iran War. Oh, but wait…wait, ye shitstains. On May 7th I Substacked about how the retreat from violent confrontational ICE surges had nothing to do with “tha Jews” or Iran, but rather internal Trump administration concerns that the collateral damage from the surges was hurting Trump’s numbers.

And lo and behold, on May 11, The Atlantic ran a piece documenting that the retreat from violent confrontational ICE surges had nothing to do with “tha Jews” or Iran, but rather, internal Trump administration concerns that the collateral damage from the surges was hurting Trump’s numbers.

I called it right. As I usually do.

But still, you consume the vomit cake because you need someone to blame for the fact that ICE isn’t beating enough Mexicans and shooting enough white leftists.

The ugly, ugly truth is that the people eating the Nazi icing genuinely do believe that a little Nazism is good for “the white race.” A little Nazism in the diet will toughen ‘em up! Toughen weak sentimental whites in the face of brown invading hordes. A little Holocaust denial will immunize whites against Jewish emotional blackmail. They are not eating “around” the icing; the icing’s the point. The icing’s more important to them than the cake.

I can’t stress this enough: the people who claim they’re eating around the Nazi icing are lying to you. The icing’s what they want. Otherwise they’d eat the cake without it. There’s no such thing as indulging “just a little Nazism,” any more than there’s such a thing as enjoying “just a little vomit.” You either have a revulsion to such things, or you’re an active consumer.

There’s no middle ground. Literally. You’re either revulsed by the taste of human vomit, or you like it.

Ditto Nazism.

Dead Man Caulking

A week ago the old dude (who wasn’t really that old) in the room next to mine died, and hotel staff is still cleaning out his shit. The dude had been living here for several years, and he’d adopted the place as his home.

It’s a difference of philosophy. Me? I refuse to “spread out” in long-term hotel housing. I keep all my shit in my duffel bag, so that I can take off at a moment’s notice for whatever reason.

This is not my home. I do not have a home, and I’m not going to pretend otherwise. This is a hotel. I have limited rights here, and generally speaking management can kick me out for many a reason. At the Beverly Hills hotel where I lived last year, one of the other long-termers was given three-days notice to vacate after an argument with the assistant GM over the quality of the food in the restaurant. That long-termer was a Palisades fire refugee, but still, the hotel said “yer outta here.”

This is a hotel, not a home. I can never allow myself to see it as otherwise.

So I refuse to make myself comfortable, in terms of settling in. I don’t use the dresser drawers, I don’t use the closets. All I own in this world (not counting my book collection, which is in storage) is in my duffel.

I could call an Uber and be out of here tonight, leaving no trace.

It’s interesting how two people can have such diametrically opposed reactions to the same conditions. The old man had no home, for whatever reason, so he chose to recreate his home in a hotel room, to such an extent that it’s been a week and housekeeping and maintenance still haven’t been able to clear out all his shit and put the room back online for a new guest.

For the old man, what he needed for his mental wellbeing was the belief that this place was a home, which of course it isn’t. It’s a fucking hotel.

For me, what I find necessary as I approach the one year anniversary of leaving my house is a feeling of freedom. A recognition that I don’t have a home, that I am unbound, unanchored, untethered, rootless (cosmopolitan). I celebrate the end of responsibility. The end of decades of upkeep, water charges, sewer charges, gas charges, insurance, property taxes, HOA fees. The only way I can psychologically deal with losing my house is to believe that it was for the best. The very notion of trying to recreate my house would be an admission that I wish I still had one.

But that poor old man…he wanted to think he still had a home. Nailing framed photos to the walls, the holes from which now have to be patched. Imprinting his domestic touch onto every square inch of the place. He’s been dead over a week, yet he still exists in the calloused hands of the cheery Mexicans who’ve been logging overtime trying to turn his faux home back into what it always was - a faceless soulless cookie-cutter corporate hotel-chain room-for-hire.

When I leave, or when I die, I will provide little overtime for Rosa and Gustavo. I’m a tiny man…damn near a Dinklage. And I try to make my footprint smaller every day.

My only remaining traces when they peel my putrefied body from the bedsheets will be my writing. My legacy.

And I’ll get into that in more detail next week.

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You guys know that I live on the road these days. I’m a nomad, I’m a drifter, I’m a rewards club sifter. Hotels is my life. And there’s this guy, an older gentleman, who lives in the room next to mine. Nice guy, quiet, not talkative in the least. Just an old man living long-term as I am.

I like that he’s quiet. At the Beverly Hills hotel where I lived last year, my neighbor was an infamous conman; a well-known federal convict with a half-dozen high-profile arrests (his first as a teenager), a Catch Me If You Can-style swindler. I never met him in person; he’s a cripple and a recluse - never leaves his room. But every morning at 9:30am sharp, he’d bang on our shared wall three times. Always three times, always at 9:30.

Why? Fuck if I know. But it would startle me awake. I actually started scheduling my days so as not to be asleep at 9:30am. I don’t know why he did the knocking, but it might explain why he got arrested so much, as the first rule of being a good conman is, don’t draw attention to yourself you moron.

The old guy in my new digs, though, I was fine with him. Never knocked a wall; never made a sound. I’d have put him at around 75 or 80 due to his labored gait and shock-white hair ringed around a baldpate of some expanse. We never spoke, but we monosyllabically grunted at each other occasionally, so I suppose we did talk…by Kevin Sorbo standards.

Wacky tangent:

The night of the White House Correspondents Dinner, and the attempted assassination that spoiled it, I tweeted this:

It went viral…by my standards. 46k views. In terms of views I’m no Milo, but also, I don’t suck black cock while listening to Hitlerleute.

One of the comments on the post was from a dude named John Ondrasik, a one-hit-wonderboy from the 2000s who had a band called Five for Fighting. And Ondrasik is a Kevin Sorbo superfan.

Well, we all deserve one.

I never explain gags to the humorless, but that parting shot could’ve been the name of any sub-IQ widely-ridiculed direct-to-streaming Abe. Schneider, Cain, Sorbo. It’s like Norm Macdonald going after Frank Stallone. The joke IS that it’s random.

This is why rightists suck at comedy even worse than leftists.

I just wish I knew something, ANYTHING, about Five for Fighting so I could make a joke about Ondrasik. But I literally know more about Inuit throat singing than I know about this eminently forgettable clod.

Okay, back to my hotel story.

A few nights ago I’m doing my normal nighttime routine - sitting in a darkened room praying for the sweet release of death - and I hear cops coming down the hallway.

If you’ve never heard four cops barreling down a hallway, I’ll tell you - they ain’t quiet. Between the stomps of their shoes, the electronic buzzing from their various comm devices, and their own chatter, frontier Injuns they are not.

So of course I heard them loud and clear.

Shit, I thought to myself, they found the hobo buried in my backyard. When I sold my house, I debated digging up the corpse and burning it, but since Holocaust deniers claim that bodies don’t burn, and deniers are mankind’s greatest geniuses (so sayeth Elon Musk), I kept the backyard as-is in the hope that the new owner wouldn’t have any reason to dig too deep (I mean, I buried the guy three feet under…no way that falls under “shallow” on the grave scale).

Well, I guess now the jig was up. I hear the cops coming down the hallway, the din growing ever louder: “TENFOURTENFOUR UNIT 71 ARRIVED AT A 5270 (BZZZZRT) ABOUT TO KNOCK ON OCCUPANT’S (BZUUUUURT) TENFOURTENFOUR ABOUT TO 5858 A TENFOURTENFOUR (BZZZZZZZZRRRRT) GONNA DO A 39 ON A 71 ON A 5622 (GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUUUURRRRRRRRRRT). COPY B69-TEN-OH TEN-OH OUT.”

I love cops. I just think maybe announcing yourselves as loudly as you do is not always in your own best interest. Stealth is not a mortal sin.

I’m about to kick out the window screen and shimmy down the streetlight to freedom when the cops pound on the door.

But not mine.

It’s next door. My baldpate buddy.

It’s a wellness check. Dude’s brother hadn’t heard from him in a day, so the brother asked LAPD to make sure all was well.

Which it was, if by “well” you mean cold and stiff and bluer than a Smurf but twice as rancid.

Pater the Elder was now Pater the Smellder. The man had expired in his sleep and spent the day rigor mortising on the other side of my wall. And I had no idea.

The Angel of Death does not knock three times.

That’s how death sneaks up on us. It doesn’t roll down the hallway going “TENSIXTY TENSIXTY FIVE-O-FOUR DISPATCH ONE NINE ONE NINE IF I AIN’T SLEEPIN’ NOBODY’S SLEEPIN’!”

The Reaper understands stealth.

Although I do feel some guilt that maybe it was my prayers that summoned him, and he got the rooms mixed up. I already killed one hobo; I’ve no need for a second transient’s death on my conscience.

Later that night as the carcass was carted away, I commiserated with the staff about the stiff.

Turned out the “old man” was not really that old. He was only 67.

Jesus on a junkboat, 67?

67?

That’s only ten years older than I. Nobody 67 should expire in a flash without some mitigating medical factor (which apparently this guy didn’t have). I mean, I just saw him a day earlier putting out his trash. I grunted at him “hrrrnk” and he grunted back “flrmmm” and I can’t wrap my head around the fact that it was our final interaction.

He was the best friend I ever had.

Also, it got me thinking about the fact that he had a brother who noticed his absence after 24 hours of noncommunication.

That sure as shit ain’t gonna happen in my case.

Look, this is the life I chose. No wife, no kids. I literally faked my death to escape my wedding. I’m solitary. My mom and dad were my family, and they’re dead. I have two “lifelong best friends,” neither of whom will dare acknowledge me publicly. Sadly, that’s not a joke. One friend is an actor of some note, and the other’s a writer of some note.

They see me as a public liability.

I’m not bitching; I’m trying to make a point. This is the life I chose. No, I don’t mean being “controversial.” I don’t see myself as controversial. I left Holocaust “revisionism” in 1994, and I’m one of Holocaust denial’s most fierce and effective opponents. There is no reason I should still be considered toxic.

Indeed, what I mean by “the life I chose” isn’t even staying unmarried and childless. It’s that, for whatever fucking reason, I decided to never learn to drive. I’m alone (which I want to be) and helpless (which can be a pain in the ass). I take full responsibility for putting myself in a situation in which I’m dependent, and those two asshole friends who’d never publicly cop to our friendship have saved my hide more times than I can count, over the course of 40 years. They have a right to treat me like botulism; they’ve earned that right by being there for me in the past whenever I’ve had this or that emergency in which access to a motor vehicle became essential.

Funny to think that if there’d been Uber in 1986, I might not at present have a single friend in the world.

You guys (especially you Californians) bitch about the price of gas. Well fuck you, faggots. I’m always grateful for the high price of gas because how else was I able to have so many beautiful actress girlfriends over the years who’d chauffeur me around?

Bimbo: “Err mer gerd, the mern is suppersed to drive the wermern, nert the other way arrernd.”

Me: “I’ll keep your tank filled every day; you’ll never buy gas again.”

Bimbo: “ERR MER GERD, YER SERPERMERN! YER THE BERST BERFRIEND EVER!”

Inner-ear infections, too. They’ve been my wingman. I’m not joking; girls with eustachian tube dysfunction get motion sickness as passengers; they prefer to drive. When I have them do the driving, they actually think I’m being caring!

“Err mer gerd, Dervid kers ser merch abert my err.”

Idiots.

The not-driving thing was never an issue until recently, because up ‘til about the time I rounded 50 I was always lousy with bimbos and sycophants. But now, as I approach 60, I’m feeling it. I’m feeling the dependence. And it’s factoring heavily in my decision regarding where to move next. Quaint fishing village sounds swell - small, walkable. But I do kinda want to have a major hospital nearby, instead of Ol’ Cap’n McHaddock’s Potion & Elixir Shack.

I’m sure Norm Macdonald thought never learning to drive was a cool idea…until he had to go to all those doctor visits.

Which brings us back to dead baldpate guy (or bald deadpate guy…same difference). He had a brother who notified LAPD. When I have that fatal stroke you fuckers keep trying to give me with your carping and sniping and trolling, it’ll be days - a week minimum - before anyone notices I’m gone.

My death will announce itself via the stench. Whatever hotel I’m in at the time, they will likely not only have to replace the mattress, but the entire bed, due to Dave putrefaction.

The day after baldpate’s passing, staff cleaned out his room. Piles of trash were taken to the dumpster. All that was left of the old man: books, bills, yellow folders that were once of great import, empty Amazon boxes that were once eagerly-awaited deliveries. Now on their way to the dump.

I’ve no next of kin, no family, no power of attorney executor, no emergency contacts. I do that as a favor to my two asshole friends, so that when I die they’re not troubled at a fancy Hollywood shindig to come up with an excuse for why they have to run off to Holiday Inn to identify a corpse.

Asshole Friend looks at incoming text: “Damn…I gotta go.”

Douchebag CAA agent: “Seems serious. What’s wrong?”

(Asshole Friend thinks for a moment about what’s less humiliating than having to admit you’re David Cole’s emergency contact)

“The shits. I have the shits real bad.”

Since I own the FOA contact list, maybe I’ll leave Kevin Sorbo’s info for the cops.

Because if, even in death, I can anger John Ondrasik one more time, my soul will rest easy.

I Warned You Dickbags…

I never cease trying to warn you blind barrel-monkeys of the dogshit you always end up stepping in anyway.

This week saw the long-awaited GOP goobernatorial primary between Vivek Ramaswamy and Casey Putsch, the Holocaust-denying neo-Nazi y’all were hoping would win.

“Vivek’s BROWN! He doesn’t hate JEWS enough! Oh and did I mention he’s BROWN?”

Putsch, running on a “Hitler was cool” pro-Tucker platform, got his ass handed to him. No heils for his sieg, no beer for his hall, no goose in his step, no gas in his chamber. Asshole won zero counties.

See this?

Your Nazi hero lost EVERY SINGLE COUNTY.

What does this bring it to now? You know I keep a running tally of GOP Nazis rejected by voters. Robinson in NC, White in MN, Kane in TX, Hanson in TN, Reilly and McGeachin in ID, Arnoldi in VA, Witzke in DE, and now Putsch in OH.

BTW, there’s not a single win to balance that out. All losses.

But you guys…do you listen? If not to me, then to the voters?

Naaaaw. “Mark my words, Dave,” you tell me, “Nazism is the winning path! Just wait and see; the NEXT Nazi will score a decisive victory!”

And here’s another example of “ignore Cole, lose your soul.” What did I warn you about last July, when Trump decided to deflect from his “Epstein list” feud with Musk by doing an ICE surge in L.A. that involved riling up the locals with heavy-handed special-ops tactics, all in the name of providing RED MEAT to the MAGAs who love seeing brown people clubbed over the head?

What did I warn you about?

I warned you that while the American public is against open borders and in favor of immigration enforcement, too much brutality in the service of those issues will severely impact voter approval.

Not only did I warn you in July, I showed how, during Trump’s L.A. ICE surge, polls showed a downward shift in support for Trump’s approach to immigration.

Did you listen?

Do you ever?

And here we are, Ninny McPhee: Trump has now lost his lead on immigration because people feel he’s been too aggressive.

Which at least one Xer gave me credit for predicting:

Because, you fucking morons, after I warned you about the trend that accompanied the L.A. ICE surge, you empty-heads demanded more surges, and you got the Minneapolis surge, which resulted in more bad ops and two Americans shot dead.

At least with L.A., the action was confined to Downtown, L.A.’s gutter, so the optics were cops fighting ANTIFAs on Skid Row. But oh, you geniuses, that wasn’t good enough for you! You wanted a door-to-door surge in a majority white town, with ICE invading snowy bucolic residential neighborhoods at Christmastime, bashing down doors and pulling out children as all-American rosy-cheeked white folks vigorously protested while Bovino in a literal SS leather trench coat glared menacingly.

Again may I remind you diarrheal underwear stains what I wrote back in July? I explained how the 1990s “war on drugs” won voter approval until police started getting so heavy-handed with enforcement that voters saw addicts who looked like them being gunned down in the street by cops. And your response? “Let’s do our next ICE surge in Minneapolis, so whites can see protesters who look like them gunned down in the street by cops.”

I could not have warned you more clearly. But it’s pearls before trichinosis.

“Wisdom and goodness to the vile seem vile.”

L.A. didn’t feed you enough red meat. You wanted BLOOD! And when two American citizens were killed by ICE in Minneapolis, you cheered, “YAY!!!!!! Now that’s red meat served rare!”

You stupid, stupid fucks. The negative reaction - which I warned you about - caused Trump to back off immigration and look for new conquests (Greenland, and now Iran), as voters turned against him on immigration.

Here’s how this relates to your latest defeated Nazi, Casey Putsch.

You retards can’t except the fact that the American public IS. NOT. NAZI.

GOP voters ARE. NOT. NAZIS.

Average Americans are decent people. They’re not like you; they don’t harbor hate, they don’t exalt brutality, they don’t seek racial violence. You want them to, though, so you keep supporting Nazis and Nazi-like brutality, hoping to unlock the repressed bloodlust that you’re so very certain just needs “permission” to be loosed.

You shitstains have been spending too much time around Nazis, in terms of, becoming too used to their presence, too tolerant, too excusing. Every time I’ve warned about the Nazi surge on the right, I get the same response: “Oh, a JEW is answering the call of the TRIBE. Cole used to be based, but now his TRIBE is reeling him in.”

In fact, Bufords and Cletuses, my warnings about Nazis aren’t meant for me, or for the Jew, but for you. The more you get used to Nazis, the more you lose the revulsion, the more you’ll start thinking that others have lost the revulsion, too. So the more open you become to Nazi tactics and Nazi candidates.

It’s human nature to think that your “allies” (in this case, GOP and right-leaning voters) simply must be thinking like you! Surely if you’ve softened to Nazis, so has Joe T. Voter.

Look, I grew up on horror films. It’s all I watched as a kid. The hard stuff: Texas Chainsaw, Last House on the Left, Argento, Cronenberg, Romeros (George and Eddie), Bava, and all the cheap indies that piled on the gore. My mom indulged me, taking me to R-rated films because of that “unaccompanied minor” bullshit. And she pretended to like those movies because she didn’t want to kill my enthusiasm. So it was only in 9th grade, when I started dating, that I realized that most chicks at that age found my collection of bootleg Betas of gory films repellent.

See, that hadn’t occurred to me; I was too locked in my own bubble.

By high school, I’d learned to harness that repellence for my own benefit: sitting on my bed with Debbie Dimbo watching Nightmare City = girl clutches your arm and hides her beautiful little face in your chest, rubbing up against you and sending all kinds of bone-stiffening stimuli your way.

Yes, like you, at first I didn’t understand that just because I respond a certain way to something doesn’t mean everyone else does. And when I realized my error, I used that revelation to my own advantage.

That’s called sentience.

You should try it sometime.

But no. You’re so lost, you refused to heed my warnings that too much brutality was going to lose you the immigration issue. And Nazi candidates will lose you elections. In some cases, this is the result of Musk, Vance, Tuck, and all your favorite influencers filling your fool heads with “Hitler was actually the good guy” nonsense. In other cases, this is the result of you just loving racial bloodshed, while lacking the sentience to understand that most Americans feel differently.

(In John the Jamaican’s voice from Day of the Dead): “And daaaaht’s what worries me, ya know.” Because I’m seeing a few immigration restrictionist friends of mine embarking down a very dark path due to their anger and bitterness over Trump’s seeming abandonment of the immigration issue.

“Fucking Jews; they forced Trump to focus on Iran when he should’ve been focusing on cracking the skulls of beaner children. I’ll teach those Hebe bastards!”

Friends who’ve never given two shits about Israel are now posting weepy-weep videos of the POOR, SUFFERING GAZANS! And hey, is Nick Fuentes really that bad? Maybe his point, that there’s no sense in focusing on immigration as long as there’s JEWS alive in the U.S., is correct.

The one thing these friends will never do is put any blame on themselves for egging on the violence and death of the ICE surges, which is indeed the thing that cooled voters - and as a result Trump - on the issue.

It’s an irony, as some of these immigration restrictionist friends absolutely loved John Ashcroft. I did too. Following 9/11, Ashcroft rounded up every akbar who had any cause to be detained and deported. Ashcroft sent so many akbars packing, the U.S. hookah industry went bankrupt overnight.

But here’s the thing: Ashcroft did it with discretion. He didn’t roll tanks into Dearborn while wearing an SS-Ledermantel. Sure, the media hated him; that’s a given. But he didn’t purposely help the media by providing bad optics. He did the job, and he did it smartly.

Of course, we’re talking a significant difference in numbers here, between the tens of thousands of ali-ali-oxendeportees dispatched by Ashcroft and the hundreds of thousands of brownies and bingobongos booted by Bovino. But the majority of bilious bovine’s ejections were conducted without undue bad optics. It could’ve continued that way. But no, YOU wanted violence and bloodshed. You wanted red meat, images of clubbed baby beans and white LIBTARDS riddled with bullets, to jack off to. And you repulsed people.

And now you’re gonna put the blame on Jews.

Because of course you are.

You…did…this. Your bloodlust made a worthwhile endeavor go from a vote-winner to a voter repellent. It wasn’t Jews, it was youse.

Take some fucking responsibility.

Last Word (Das Finalischengessen auf Werdengeschicte)

Watching the daily drama of Candace, her army of “mommy-sleuths” (that’s the actual name Owens’ fanatical female followers gave their club), Megyn, and Carrie Prejean-Ballsack vs. Loomer and Erika, a drama involving lurid murders, drunk felonious husbands, unrequited love, scorned widows, catfights, bitter insults, a tranny and his assassin lover, ghost visitations in dreams, and blonde beauty queens gone bad, a thought occurred to me: Imagine if, say, two years ago, you’d suggested to any male rightist, “You know what the right needs? More human interest, more personal stories; female-skewing storylines about love and betrayal and sneering harridans fighting virtuous ingenues over a man’s love and legacy…daily serialized soap operas that can attract women to the movement,” that male rightist would’ve replied “Are you outta your fucking mind? That’s what killed gaming! And comics! And the STARS WARS FRANCHISE!”

Yet it’s happened. The right might as well have hired Kathleen Kennedy to write its present saga. It’s all female drama.

Just shows how the key to getting something done isn’t to loudly announce yourself while storming in like a hurricane. Creep in…slowly, quietly.

Ah, see what I did there? Totally did a callback to my point about cops from the first segment and ICE from the second.

Amma gud ryter.

Anyway, my friends, enjoy your Nazis and daytime soaps.

I’ll be back soon with a book update.

Until then…

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Last week a 27-year-old gay Haitian Muslim Nazi named “Sneako” (over a million Nazi followers on X) was suckerpunched in the face, placed in a headlock, and thrown to the ground while walking through NYC. He was livestreaming at the time. Indeed, he was in the middle of a rant about how his enemies should be “publicly executed.”

And then he was publicly decked.

“Sneako” wants all Jews “killed in ovens.” He idolizes Hitler and denies the Holocaust (he also wants all dogs euthanized). So of course he’s your hero. And the few of you on the right who at the very least don’t think of him as a hero certainly consider him a FREE SPEECH CHAMPION! America’s BEST! You go, Sneako! You USE that First Amendment, you beautiful Third World bastard! Ask the QWESTCHINS! Maybe Jews SHOULD be killed! Maybe dogs ARE haram! By gum, even if I disagree wit’ you, I’ll FIGHT TO THE DEATH for your right to whip up pogroms against Jews.

Well fuck you.

What kills me about rightists is that you whine and whine about how we’ve gone soft on crime. Worse, how we’ve gone all faggoty on standing up to crime in the streets. “Why was Daniel Penny the only one on the subway willing to confront the black madman? And then he gets PROSECUTED for it? Oh weeeeeepy weepy woo, how soft we’ve gotten!”

“We?” No, assholes, you. The road to soft on subway schizos began with soft on threatening speech. YOU “ethical” maggots got this shit started with your self-righteous “speech is sacrosanct” nonsense. “Now now now, we can never penalize speech! What would MADISON say?”

Madison would say that the First Amendment prohibits Congress from regulating speech. What I doubt Madison would say is, “If’n one rideth ye olde Yorktowne subterranean waytaker, and a stanke unbonded Ethiop doth verbally accosteth thee, such shall thee abstain from melees of a preventative nature.”

Obama-era “cancel culture” warped the right’s mind. All of a sudden, every rightist became ye olde Clarence Darrow, a freedom fighter for even the most radically violent speech. As the ACLU became anti-speech (under the directorship of my retarded namesake, the other David Cole), the right picked up the mantle. “Punch Nazis? Heaven forbid! Only when Nazis are free, are any of us free.”

You said that, you low-IQ punchbowl turds, because you were being called a Nazi, and you aren’t. You’re a thousand vile things, but you’re not Nazis. You knew damn well that most examples of “canceling” involved the private sector (social media, boycotts of companies) and thus did not fall under the protections granted by the First Amendment. But you stupidly thought that if you championed the right of Nazis to speak without private sector repercussions, you’d be protecting yourself. “If Heinrich1488 on Twitter is allowed to say ‘Murder every Jew and rape every kike’s wife,’ then surely I’ll be able to make my mild criticisms of preferential hiring by race.”

Where you morons were blindsided, because the severely stupid are always blindsided, was when actual Nazis started to emerge on the scene in 2016. You could harmlessly advocate for “the rights of Nazis” when the people getting canceled were only saying things like “Affirmative Action is bad! The borders are too open! Inner cities need more policing.”

When Thomas Sowell was the most radical voice in your terrarium, you could afford to be a hippie. “Like, man, anything goes, man! Speak yer mind; it’s all beeeoootyful!”

That’s what I so despise about rightists; your blind spots, your ability to learn a lesson on one hand but not apply it on the other. You know that if a restaurant owner decides to be kind-hearted and leaves a plate of food for the homeless guy who lives in the alley behind the kitchen, the next day the homeless guy will show up demanding more, and he’ll have brought fifty friends.

You’ll smugly pontificate about how you can’t ring the dinner bell unless you want a bum rush. But you same people will ring the fucking dinner bell for Nazis - “We will support ye speeche! Indeed, we shall fight hardest for ye!” - and then be totally surprised when the Nazis come running. And because you’ve committed yourself to “no consequences for speech, ever!” you have no ability to ward off the flood.

And as the left became increasingly anti-law enforcement after Ferguson and Floyd, and you found yourselves surrounded by alley-dwelling shrieking nutcases walking the streets because leftists totally believe in “free speech for schizos,” well…had you the grey matter (which you don’t), you’d have seen that you and those leftists are the same beast.

What exactly is the difference, Bufords? Subway schizo Jordan Neely’s only “crime” was words. Daniel Penny put him in a chokehold and ended him because of speech. As one of the passengers told police, Neely “was frightening but had not assaulted anyone” before Penny restrained him.

You cheered Penny. You called him a hero. But like it or not, he killed a guy over speech alone. Threatening speech, for sure. And yeah, Penny’s a hero to me, certainly. But unlike you diarrheal skidmarks, I’m not a hypocrite. I see no difference between Neely’s aggressive rambling and the ramblings of Nazis like “Sneako,” Fuentes, Owens, Myron Gaines/Amrou Fudl (the Sudanese Nazi who posed for pics with Poso wearing a shirt about burning Jews alive. Gaines/Fudl is now a sought-after college speaker).

Some speech merits a headlock, or a punch to the face, or both. And before you hit me with your imbecilic (and expected) response, “Jordan Neely posed an imminent threat! Sneako, Fuentes, they’re just harmless imps! I doubt they’d ever personally kill any Jews themselves,” allow me to re-tort to re-tards:

Homeless screamers are commonplace in most big cities. 95% of them scream and don’t kill anyone. Penny did the right thing by assuming and acting on the worst-case scenario that Neely might be one of the 5%. Similarly, 95% of Nazi Xers don’t actually kill Jews. But certainly the 5% - the Tree of Life mass-shooter, who was a Gab star, and all the other Nazi mass-killers who promoted their online “manifestos” before massacring innocents - present enough of a threat that we should view all of these monsters as potential worse-case scenarios, if only for their power to “inspire” (remember - Candace and Fuentes have been multiple times credited by mass-shooters as the “inspiration” for their act).

Not to mention that when it comes to sexual assaults against women and children, the ratio is reversed, in that it’s about 95% of far-right online extremists who commit sexual violence, and maybe 5% who don’t.

Every year in the U.S., far-right Nazis/white supremacists are responsible for the majority of ideologically-motivated mass shootings. In 2022, a whopping 80% of all mass shootings were perpetrated by far-right Nazis/white supremacists. Trannies come in second. But the number one perps? Your beloved Nazis.

You yourself have become schizophrenic. Half your diseased brain is in favor of penalties for speech - government penalties, as in, you advocate the institutionalization of mentally ill subway screamers - yet the other half of that rotting prune you call a brain won’t even advocate an X ban for Nazi screamers.

MUH FREE SPEECH!

There’s no difference - zero difference - between leftists who insist that mentally ill screamers be allowed to own the streets and rightists who insist that Nazi screamers be allowed to own X.

You say, “Hey, if you don’t want to see Nazi online screamers, just stay offline! No need to encroach on their RIGHT to say vile, threatening things.”

I respond, “Hey, if you don’t want to see homeless street-dwelling screamers, just walk a different route! Or drive a car. No need to encroach on their RIGHT to say vile, threatening things.”

You’re not principled; you’re palsied, and you’ve started something that cannot be reversed. The Nazis you’ve championed now feel entitled (like the alley-dwelling homeless guy who gets a free meal), and you, weaklings, mental Dinklages, can’t fight back because your vaunted pronouncements about “I’ll fight to the death for your right to say kill Jews and rape women” have emboldened the worst among you.

You rang the dinner bell, fuckheads, and they came running. And now they feel entitled to a meal every night, and you’ll give it to them because you’re such cowed milquetoasts, so easily bullied, you’d rather fuck up your electoral chances than take a stand that some speech demands non-governmental sanctions.

In the wake of Charlie Kirk’s murder, some of you appeared to demonstrate that you still had the guts to cancel, when you mercilessly hounded every online leftist who mocked or justified Kirk’s death. But those guts were illusory, born of anger, anger that quickly gave way to your “free speech” tolerance of your own kind who’ve insulted Charlie’s memory far worse than those X nobodies you destroyed. Candace, Tucker, Kelly, Kent working to FREE Kirk’s killer because the tranny-loving assassin’s just a patsy for the REAL killers - Erika and the Jews - and you’re like “FREE SPEECH, MAN! It’s BEAUTIFUL!”

Some leftist nobody in Portland mocks Kirk’s assassination? You’re all “KILL HIM! FIRE HIM! END HIM!”

Candace and Kent pledge to free Kirk’s killer? You become “FREE SPEECH FOR ALL! PROTECT THE DOLLS!”

I despise you people so much.

It’s too late for you to reverse course now, but what you should’ve done during the Obama Age of Canceling was use discernment, a word I’ve been barking at you people for years, yet you continually refuse to listen.

From the start, you should’ve responded to the cancelers, “we’re not Nazis.”

Period.

Instead, you responded to cancel culture with “Well, they’re calling me ‘Nazi’ so I suppose I should fight for free speech for actual Nazis because that way I’ll still be able to stay on Twitter.”

You should’ve said “Fuck Nazis. I’m not one, and I’m not going to waver from that stand by allying with actual Nazis in some ridiculous fictional ‘shared fight.’”

Regular readers know that I never got along well with Andrew Breitbart, and I never thought much of the man, but on this point he had it right: “If you’re gonna call me a racist or a Nazi, FUCK YOU. War.” Breitbart never would’ve said “Well okay let’s say I am a Nazi. We have free speech rights too! Rights for Nazis means rights for ME!”

The path you chose, “Go ahead, call me a Nazi! I’ll fight for the rights of Nazis because they and I share the same treatment at the hands of the same enemies,” has made you the enemy. The enemy of decent Americans. And the enemy of me.

Remember - when Irv Rubin and one of his JDL thugs punched me as I was giving a speech at UCLA in January 1992, what made the incident bad was that I wasn’t a Nazi. If I’d been on stage screaming “kill the Jews,” I’d have deserved the blows. This is my point about discernment. Rubin lacked it; so do you.

And now in this hell dually created by rightists and leftists - a hell in which thanks to leftists, subway screamers roam the streets intimidating the public with threats, and thanks to rightists, Nazis roam online and the streets (as “Sneako” was doing) intimidating the public with threats - all the normies have left is chokeholds and fists. Daniel Penny is a hero. And the guy who decked “Sneako” is a hero. I only wish he’d killed the bastard.

Next time don’t stop after one punch and body-slam. Stomp the neck when he’s down. And if I’m not being clear enough, people like “Sneako,” Fuentes, Owens, Carlson, Kent, Kelly, Milo, Gains/Foudi, Elijah Schaffer, et al, should not feel safe walking the streets. Remember that clip of Fuentes at an In-N-Out, and customers started throwing food at him? Fuentes had two “bodyguards” (likely the gayboy’s fuckbuddies). The entire party should’ve been rushed and stomped.

To put it bluntly, we need an Irv Rubin again, but one with discernment.

Which is like saying “We need smarter rightists who don’t fuck up every play.”

In other words, an impossible ask. Ain’t gonna happen.

But whenever an ordinary Joe displays a little integrity and punches a Nazi, well…how’d that candymaker put it?

“So shines a good deed in a weary world.”

And Don’t…

…fucking act all opposed to violence and shit. 99% of you fucks either participated in J6 or defended it. You were FINE with beating cops for no reason at all. Because you claim you weren’t trying to “overturn an election,” right? So you had no goal. You just beat the shit outta police for four hours for the heck of it.

And the rest of you defended beating the shit outta police for four hours for the heck of it.

Oh, but you’ll blanche if I suggest punching a Nazi for the sake of your party and your country.

“MUH FREEEEEEEEEEE SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!”

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

Your heads, so simple, so gullible, are ripe for messing. And you’ve indeed been messed with by the charlatans who tell you “Debate don’t cancel!” “Platform don’t banish!” “Ally don’t gatekeep!”

Whereas I tell you, learn discernment. While all speech, including the most hateful, is constitutionally protected, you personally have an absolute right to discern quality speech from trash speech, and act accordingly.

But no. And now we’re at the point where JD fucking Vance - the likely next GOP presidential candidate - has declared that we must platform Nazis to understand them, to understand their appeal to the young!

He literally said that.

Really puts your feeble-minded asses in a bind now, doesn’t it? I mean, your standard response to me is, “C’mon, there are practically no Nazis. You’re bitching about something that barely exists, Dave.”

Well…if that’s true, why would Vance want to platform them? Why would he say we have to learn from them to understand why they’re so popular, were they not popular on the right?

Is Vance seeing phantoms? Maybe not the best guy to elect then, no?

“Vote Vance: He Sees Stuff that Doesn’t Exist.”

Knowing you, you’d actually like that slogan.

Choose one, dolts. Either the right does have a Nazi problem, and the likely GOP presidential nom is advocating engagement instead of discernment, OR the right has no Nazi problem, and the likely GOP presidential nom is mentally ill and advocates engaging with spooks and specters that only he sees.

G’won, Cletuses - make a choice.

Doesn’t Vance come out bad either way?

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - if Vance is the nom, I’m on the other side. I will fight with the only weapon I have: the Friends of Abe mailing list. The only complete version (Boreing has the basic list, but after he dissolved the org in early 2016, I kept running the social media for five years and collected a good thousand more names).

Now, I’m not sure what I can do with that list to hurt Vance; it’s mainly a list of high-profile Hollywood GOPs, from Sinise to Sorbo, Bruckheimer to Voight, Grammer to Cain, Searcy to Searcy’s ten gallon hat. I could use it to try to depress the GOP vote, but c’mon, it’s Cali. The Dem’s gonna win anyway. So I guess I’d use it to depress fundraising for Vance, because I know from my five years with FOA that GOP politicos relied on our dough (it ain’t fer nothin’ that we were the first org thanked in person by John Boehner after he retook the House in 2010).

Anyway, I’ll figure something out. I won’t do anything illegal, of course, and hopefully somebody who might do something illegal with the list doesn’t “hack” my computer when my back is turned.

I’m a drunk and all, y’know? Hit me at the right hour, and I’m completely oblivious to my surroundings.

Anyway, this is at least a year away. Maybe the GOP will choose Rubio. In which case, consider me on-board 100%.

Cubans are great. Nazis are not.

Learn discernment, punch Nazis, choke schizos. Then sit back and enjoy a greatly improved world.

Here endeth the lesson.

And here cometh the caveat: “Sneako” is such a shady, evil specimen, if it ever comes out that he staged the assault (because while I literally have to beg you guys for a $5 tip, “Sneako” can start a GoFundMe for his chipped teeth and make $100,000 in a day), I just wanna be clear that I hadn’t written off that possibility.

So here cometh the part where I beg you for a tip. Buy Me a Beer, GiveSendGo, or PayPal.

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Getting blocked by David Spade is the proudest moment in my life, even more so than my wedding day to ‘80s songstress Tanita Tikaram and the birth of our twins, Galápagus and Bündchen.

So how did I get blocked by the twerp who birthed Eddie Murphy’s 30-year boycott of SNL?

As you may not know, Spade and his bestest anti-Jewish buddy “Theo Von” are starring in a movie that opened Friday.

“Von” of course is one dumb cookie cut from the “Jew-haters who call themselves comics but are never funny” assembly line that gave us Nick Fuentes, Dave Smith, Tim Dillon, Tim Pool, Tim Young, Tim Tim, Tim Tom, Tom Tim, and Joe Rogan post-NewsRadio.

The Spade/“Von” film is called Busboys. And when I first saw the trailer, I thought it was a gag. A parody. Spade and "Von” play young dumb guys who think becoming waiters will make them rich and famous.

That's the plot. I thought it was a spoof of bad movies, but no. It's real.

David Spade is 61. SIXTY ONE. Jim Carrey was 32 when he did Dumb and Dumber. How can it not be humiliating to do these kinds of roles at 61? "Von" is 46 and still playing a cretinous mullet-headed teen.

How can this not be an embarrassment for all involved? I expect it from a tard like “Von,” but Spade's supposed to be hipper than the room. These two guys playing teen morons reminds me of the time in 1962 when Jack Benny - then 68 - tried to play one of the Little Rascals. Cringe before the term was invented.

Spade comes from the SNL era that gave us an abnormally high number of right-leaning cast members: Dennis Miller (babe), Adam Sandler (adoobee-dahbbee), Rob Schneider (“You putcher unemployment check in there”), Jon Lovitz (“Upon reflection, maybe it wasn’t the ticket”), Victoria Jackson (“I started the ukulele shit”), and Dana Carvey - a Friend of Abe who opened for Antonin Scalia at our David Murdock-funded summer bash in 2012.

No joke: Sinise put Jeremy Boreing in charge of the advertising for this event, and Waldo Baldo billed Scalia THIRD, and in lowercase.

This is what would eventually kill Scalia - the chronic shame of getting lesser billing than the fucking Gatlin Brothers.

But unlike Miller, Lovitz, Sandler, and Carvey, who’ve remained largely sane as the years have progressed, and Jackson and Schneider, who are functionally retarded so I cut them some slack, Spade, not a totally dumb guy, has decided to jump on the Nick Fuentes Nazi train because, with Chris Farley dead, he needs something even more bloated with feces to suckle from.

Spade and “Von” self-funded Busboys…because literally not a single human on Earth was willing to put a cent into the project.

For Spade, whose big-paycheck days are far behind him, that means there’s a certain desperation to break even at least, and hopefully make a profit.

“Von” makes huge bank spouting Jew-hatred on a podcast. Spade spends his time reminiscing about funnier people (literally, the guy’s made more podcast appearances talking about Norm Macdonald than Macdonald ever did being Norm Macdonald).

Farley, Macdonald, Sandler, now “Von.” It’s called perennial second banana, Spade. Look into it.

For Spade, it was time to reach out to the Nazis, the only people stupid enough to think Busboys is worth seeing.

Friday night the filmmakers held a special premiere for cast, crew, and VIPs.

And who was the invited VIP of honor?

Candace “Jews drink the blood of children at Passover” Owens.

Candace “Erika Kirk killed her husband” Owens.

Candace “the Earth is flat and science is fake” Owens.

That’s who Spade and “Von” invited. A Nazi who parrots Streicher blood libel.

So on Saturday I made a tweet of it. And I got bombarded by Spade superfans, who mass-reported me to X. And - of course - Musk’s admins responded by giving me a 12-hour ban.

Remember - you can say anything vile about Jews on X.

Anything.

But you cannot criticize Jew haters.

So sayeth Führer Musk.

On Sunday, after my ban ended, I reposted the tweet, with a new intro. Here it is:

Yesterday I posted about Candace Owens being a guest of honor at the premiere of the new @davidspade & Theo Von crapfest “Busboys.” As a result, I was bombarded by Spade superfans.

Well, it was only ten, but that’s ten more superfans than I thought Spade had. And they mass-reported me, drawing me a 12-hour ban. So of course today I’m reposting what I wrote.

David Spade and Theo Von invited Candace Owens to the premiere of their new straight-to-Tubi celluloid abortion. Owens mocks and tortures Erika Kirk every single day. She also claims that Jews slaughter Christians as part of a Passover sacrifice ritual.
And Spade thought, “This is a GREAT person to invite to our screening!”
Spade himself was almost slaughtered in 2000 by his personal assistant “Skippy” Malloy (pictured below), who electrocuted him with a taser and tried to beat him to death.

That alone is funnier than anything in Spade’s newest film.

And now that Spade has allied with Nazi Owens, I can only say that it’s too bad Malloy’s an Irishman; a Jew would’ve done the job properly and spared the world a whole bunch of terrible films.

The brilliant David Spade:
Trusts hulking Irishman with the alarm code to his Beverly Hills house.
Is woken up in the middle of the night by hulking Irishman standing over him with a taser.
Is electrocuted and nearly beaten to death by hulking Irishman.
Blames Jews.

I should add that last December Spade ranted that there’s a “war against Christians,” all because he visited a “dopey little mall” that had a “tree lighting ceremony.” Spade was furious that the mall didn’t say “CHRISTMAS tree lighting ceremony.” And based on that, he declared that there’s a war on Christians. Yet he celebrated his premiere alongside a woman who says “Jews ritually slaughter children on Passover, and Jews are fake anyway – they’re Khazars,” and he’s fine with that. No “war on Jews” on HIS radar!

Gotta wonder if Spade thinks Jon Lovitz drinks human blood at Passover. Because that’s a funny image.

Oh, and also - Spade blocked me!
Well congrats are in order; for once he did something genuinely hilarious.

I attached these two pics:

Here’s the tweet itself; go give it a like before Musk pulls it (it’s actually going viral, or as viral as anything my poor shadowbanned self can manage).

Spade’s superfans accused me of trying to “cancel” their idol. That’s how mentally syphilitic the right’s become. Criticizing has now become “canceling.” Weird how that only applies to Nazis. You can criticize neocons…no problem. You can criticize warhawks and border weaklings, no problem. But criticize Jew haters? Oh, now you’re committing the sin of CANCELLATION!

Fuck that. And fuck anyone who tries to mainstream Candace Owens. I’ve organized over a dozen premieres, and any invited VIP who’s not talent or money is invited because the producers want that person there, because they like that person, period.

Invite the BTK Killer to your premiere? You own him now. Don’t try to say “Look, I’m not a fan over everything he does; I like the B and K, but the T goes too far for me.”

Sorry - you own the whole package.

Fuck Spade. Fuck him up his midget ass. Without Jews (producers, investors, writers, a guy named Sandler, and a guy named Lorne Michaels who was born Lorne David Lipowitz) he’d have had NO career. But now that it’s fashionable to hate Jews, there’s Spade, jizzing it up on the Nazi death train.

Literally - fuck him.

Oh, looks like you did! Busboys cost an estimated $3 million to make. It made only $660k its opening Friday and Saturday, coming in 9th place at the box office.

That $660,000 is still too high, but certainly an indicator that the Nazi train does not make a stop at the bank on its way to Treblinka - a fitting final destination for the career of an ageing hate-filled douchebag, the second-banana of the Third Reich.

Hey - if enough of you leave me a tip at Buy Me a Beer, GiveSendGo, or PayPal, I could literally make as much as Busboys!

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“Ah don’t like mewvies, gyurkle-gyurk. Why dontcha rite about polytics?”

Well eat shit; here’s a mewvie review.

The Star Wars franchise doesn’t have the best track record for launching superstars. The first film (no, not “Episode IV - A New Hope,” you asses. It was a standalone film that Lucas retconned because you’re dumb) launched Harrison Ford, no question. But that was it. Mark Hamill can’t act. And in-between being untalented, he was busy smashing up his face in car accidents (everyone needs a hobby). Carrie Fisher? After Jedi she crawled into a bottle of pills with an Ewok and didn’t emerge for twenty years.

And the prequels? Good Christ. Hayden Christensen is such a bad actor, cars wouldn’t even smash up his face; it was beneath them. And that kid, Jake Lloyd? He literally attempted suicide because of what a bad actor he is. We can debate Natalie Portman (real name Hadassah Gronkowitz Hershenschlub), but I hold that Leon: The Professional launched her career. Luc Besson’s hit film was initially about Leon Redbone’s work ethic, but Besson decided last minute to make it about a hitman protecting a waif, and Portman got her first starring role.

So that leaves the final trilogy. One could argue those films “launched” Adam Driver, but he was already a well-known, Emmy-nominated TV actor. Oscar Isaac was also already established. So that leaves John Boyega, who was cast after Disneyland went woke and removed “offensive” characters from the Jungle Cruise ride (Boyega had been the frightened African chased up a tree by a rhino).

And that leaves Daisy Ridley…

Force Awakens was constructed to launch Ridley into the stratosphere. Unfortunately the launch was supervised by Elon Musk, and Ridley exploded after takeoff, scattering filmgoers with a shrapnel-rain of fan-alienating GRRRRRRL POWER cliches.

She was supposed to be the one, both in the film and in real-life. And indeed, in the film she played number one. But to filmgoers, she was a giant number two. She can carry a movie like Michael J. Fox can carry a serving platter, and since the Star Wars films, the roles have been few and far-between.

And I haven’t cared. The amount of fucks I give for Daisy Ridley is smaller than Peter Dinklage’s dink, and even more prone to shrinklage.

But now Ridley’s in a zombie film.

And that’s my territory.

We Bury the Dead, by Australian auteur Didgeridoug McBarbie, was released in the U.S. on January 2nd of this year. But no way was I gonna see it until it turned up on one of the pirate sites I employ (the last time I paid to see a film, Dean Cain was getting paychecks above three figures).

So this review’s a little late…because honestly it was only a few days ago that I got bored enough to think, “I wonder if We Bury the Dead’s on ww26.0123movie.net.”

The film begins shortly after the mistaken detonation of a new U.S. superweapon off the coast of Tasmania. Twenty years ago, that might’ve offended me. But not anymore. Trump has made any scenario with the U.S. being reckless totally believable. And besides, we all know his obsession with killing anything that annoys Bugs Bunny…

The American superweapon is a kind of electromagnetic pulse thingeridoo that kills instantly by ceasing all brain function of anyone in the blast zone, without destroying buildings or bodies. And all of Tasmania gets thusly zapped. So the Aussie government is looking for volunteers to travel to Tasmania to help clean up the bodies (an arduous task that entails going door-to-door and carrying out the corpses).

If your first thought is, why aren’t the Ozzies making the Americans clean up their mess, it’s blithely explained by a throwaway character that everyone’s too angry at the Yanks to want them around.

So instead regular citizens are enlisted to collect and destroy 500,000 bodies.

Meh. Not sure I’m buying that.

And there’s a catch (Reverend Mother Mohiam voice - “Here it comes”): The victims of the electromagnetic G’Bye Mate bomb sometimes “come back.” As in, they stand up, display some motor function, try to mouth words, and blink and grind their teeth a lot. Not all the victims, but one in twenty exhibit this behavior. So the cleanup squads are heavily comprised of friends and relatives of the dead, who volunteer hoping to see their loved ones “come back.”

But the Aussie military (which accompanies the cleanup squads) is committed to putting a bullet in the head of every nonviolent reanimate. And nobody asks why or complains.

Okay - let’s pause here to shovel the film’s first bullshit pile. We see from the start that the cleanup crews are comprised of emotionally fragile relatives of the dead. Old ladies, mums, dads. In what possible universe would this make a good crew to carry rotting corpses out of homes?

Australians are not known for their brilliance, but c’mon…that’s a stupid idea even by their standards.

And the movie never has the government explain why it’s re-killing the reanimates instead of studying them (this is a brand new bomb…surely scientists would be rather keen to study the long-term effects, no?), and the film insults us by not showing any pushback to that policy. Just acceptance. Even though the reanimates are NOT hostile. They just stand and stare and blink and walk.

In theory, the director (and screenwriter Vegemike Koalamann) could’ve tried to weave in some social commentary about how Aussies, for all their bluster, were easily cowed by their government during Covid. But no. None of the characters privately express disdain for the shoot-on-sight policy. The movie depicts old ladies signing up for corpse duty saying “I hope I find my grandson and he’s one of the ones who wakes up,” and then these same people call out to the army men “Here’s a waker! Shoot ‘im!”

No. Fucking. Sense.

That’s just bad screenwriting. Distractingly bad.

Ridley plays a woman from the mainland whose beloved husband was on a corporate retreat in Tasmania when the bomb hit. She, too, has signed up for corpse duty in the hope hubby will be a waker. And she, too, stands idly by as wakers are shot.

Ridley is such a nothing as an actress, such a non-presence, I literally didn’t realize she was playing an American until one character offhandedly says “I’m surprised they let a Yank join up.” She’s so paper-thin, I hadn’t even noticed her accent.

Ridley’s character is paired for corpse duty with a stereotypical gruffly handsome long scraggly-haired hard-drinking Aussie male (of course), and we soon learn she’s “on a mission.” Her hubby’s retreat is on the southernmost point of the island, and it’s gonna take the cleanup crew weeks to reach that area. So of course Ridley wants to GET THERE NOW! And she convinces Rustle Crowe to ditch the organized cleanup and ride his COOL CHOPPER south to see if hubby came awake (so they can shoot him, I guess).

“Missions” are my pet peeve in zombie films. The whole world is overrun by flesh eaters, the apocalypse has arrived, but RICK has to find his son or BIFF has to find his wife or ZOEY has to find her daughter blah fucking blah blah. Shoehorning a “mission” into an apocalypse film means the writer/director has no faith in the dramatic impact of the central plot (or no talent to convey it). An apocalypse isn’t enough; Zack needs a QUEST!

It’s the gunfight on the Titanic, James Cameron having such little faith in the inherent dramatic value of the sinking of the fucking Titanic that he has to introduce Leo being chased by a British butler gunman.

The genius of Night of the Living Dead and Dawn of the Dead is that the drama, the tension, comes from the characters just trying to survive. No need to throw in a quest. Staying alive is the quest. The best zombie films have kept that course. The worst ones have Woody Harrelson looking for twinkies and Shaun trying to get to a pub (killing almost everyone in his party, even his mum, as a result) when just staying inside would’ve been sufficient.

Yes I know Shaun was supposed to be a screw-up. That’s why I hated the film.

And on the topic of Romero…the “master” pissed away the second half of his life on zombie flicks in which humans argue endlessly over whether to kill zombies or try to “heal” them, and as overboard as Romero went with that conflict, We Bury the Dead could’ve used just a touch of that seasoning.

C’mon…NOBODY says “maybe these non-aggressive ‘wakers’ can regain some of what they were if we, you know, stop blowing their heads off?”

Again, it’s a brand new weapon. Nobody could know what might happen to the wakers over time, but nobody seems to care.

I’ll note something that other reviewers will not (because nobody knows the genre like ol’ Dave): We Bury has ripped off two other films with its setup.

First, there’s Tobe Hooper’s Dance of the Dead, a self-contained episode of Showtime’s 2005 “Masters of Horror” series. The plot: a new superweapon used in an unnamed U.S. war kills on contact but every twentieth victim or so comes awake and stands up. Just stands, doesn’t attack or anything, just stands. So of course American sideshows use these “standers” for entertainment value by running electricity through them so they dance.

Tobe Hooper had one great film, then spent the rest of his life sucking worse than Milo backstage at a Lil Nas X show.

Second, there’s Autumn. In this 2009 British film (based on a 2001 novel), a global plague wipes out 99% of humanity. People start coughing and drop dead. In London, a dozen or so survivors gather to take stock of things as the streets are littered with corpses of people who dropped where they stood, and on day two the dead plague victims stand up. They don’t get violent, they don’t do anything. They just stand and stare.

As the film/book progresses and the survivors try to make homes for themselves, the millions of corpses slowly start to do more than just stand. First, they begin to walk. Then they start to take in interest in the survivors, silently crowding around them, staring through windows. Slowly, over the months, the dead begin to behave aggressively, little by little, barely perceptibly at first, then more so, as the crowding gets more menacing, the staring more ominous, until by the end, the dead have become aggressive, murderous threats.

It’s a good use of the premise, taking a startling beginning point - the dead stand up - and slowly building the tension until standers become crowders, then menacers, and finally outright attackers.

We Bury the Dead does nothing so creative with its wakers.

Oh, there’s a resolution of sorts, and you’ll hate it.

If you don’t, you’re no friend of mine.

As Ridley and her Hemu set out on the road south, flashbacks inform us that Ridley and her husband were very much in love until she found out she was barren, and they began drifting apart, leading to her having an affair, creating the guilt that’s driving her to find hubby to see it he “woke up” so she can apologize.

Before blowing his head off, I guess.

Now, the minute we learn that she can’t have kids, maybe fifteen minutes into the film, I was struck with a dread thought: oh shit, is she gonna somehow end up with a baby? Is this Chekhov’s gamete? Because if she ends up with a fucking baby I’m gonna travel to Australia and kill the Australian Film Fund bureaucrats who okayed this crap.

On the way south, Ridley and her dude encounter a soldier who’s figured out why some of the dead wake up.

“The ones that wake up are the ones who left behind unfinished business.”

Well then wouldn’t 99.9% of them “wake up?” Who dies suddenly without leaving behind some unfinished business?

To prove his thesis, the soldier is caring for his wife, who got caught in the blast but “woke up”…because she’s pregnant and needs to “finish” giving birth.

You see where this is going, right?

Of course, because of grrrrrl power or something, the loving husband soldier tries to rape Ridley so she kills him and sets off to continue the journey south. Along the way she and her motorbike pal see the wakers completing tasks then voluntarily dying…a phenomenon that scientists might’ve seen as well had they not committed to shooting every waker in the head.

Arriving at the retreat, Ridley finds that her hubby didn’t wake up…because he died fulfilled in his hotel room fucking his mistress/coworker.

See? She’s now absolved of the guilt of the affair she had, because he’d been doing it too.

Refreshed and full of vigor, she and motoguy head back north to rejoin the body disposers, but along the way they run into the soldier’s pregnant wife, who’s given birth to a normal healthy baby, which she presents to a crying-with-joy Ridley before dying - her unfinished business now complete.

And I flew to Sydney and murdered a dozen mutherfuckers.

With movies, there’s good-bad, there’s bad-bad, and there’s “burn every print” bad.

What a waste of time.

What a waste of money.

Fortunately, audiences agreed. The film had a $10 million budget, and it topped out at the box office around $3.5 million.

But the critics? The critics loved it. Critics hate horror films, and this movie’s sappy sentimental non-aggressive zombies were just what Faggault Soddington Sissyfuss of The Guardian needed to finally give a thumbs-up to a living dead film.

“A meditation on loss and grief.” Every critic parroted words to that effect.

No, the film’s a meditation on bad screenwriting. Nothing else.

Again I say, what a waste of time and money.

I’ll grant that the movie’s well-shot. DP Billybong Chookencoop gives a great sense of scope to the early corpse-clearing scenes; one truly gets the feeling of being on a big, dead island.

And that’s all I can recommend.

Skip this one.

And as for Ridley? Well…Yahoo Serious is 72 and homeless. Oz will soon need a new laughingstock. And even though Ridley’s a Brit, actors always go where the work is.

Enjoyed this review? Leave me a tip at Buy Me a Beer, GiveSendGo, or PayPal. Didn’t enjoy this review? Leave me a bigger tip and I won’t do another one.

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The conservatives of that era were corny, safe, maybe even a little boring. No concern about being “based,” no rosary-clutching (after all, it was the Age of Romney). To the extent that there were schisms, they were usually over abortion. We had a few Ron Paulist Israel critics, but we kept ‘em in check. The conservatives of the time may have been meeks, but meeks sense danger more acutely than braves.

A squirrel will sense a predator a mile away, because - unable to fight - awareness and avoidance is how squirrels survive. So we had a Ron Paul quota.

Of one.

And for some of us, that was one too many.

But to be fair, I was the one who let him in.

My bad.

Reminds me of the parish priest from The Monster Club who convinces the village to spare the life of the grotesque graveyard ghoul that’s been unearthing caskets in the cemetery. He commands the townsfolk to be good Christians and care for the beast. And as a result the town is overrun by grotesque graveyard ghouls and everybody’s slaughtered.

In the years following my exile, Trump rode the immigration issue and a massively unlikeable opponent to the White House, Groypers were born, rightists got further radicalized by Covid, BLM, the social media ban of the Hunter Biden laptop story, a 2020 “win” that Trump claimed was “stollen,” and the “persecution” of the poor innocent J6ers who only wanted to assault cops and overturn an election. Then the Dems ran an even worse candidate in 2024, Musk bought Twitter, and here we are - lousy with Nazis.

Blah blah blah. We’ve gone over this many times.

But I’ll tell ya something I haven’t written about yet. I’ll tell you the exact moment I knew “the right” was about to become intolerable.

It was October 2018.

I was prepping a book tour event for Ann Coulter. Using my estimable skills, I’d managed to find a beautiful and grand ballroom right in the heart of West L.A. My strategery revolved around finding a large venue with a Persian owner. Westside L.A. Persians lean right, but, more to the point, they’re businesspeople and property magnates first and foremost. So I figgered a Westside Persian venue owner would not balk that it was a Coulter event, and even if they did have a problem with Ann, they’d take the bottom-line attitude that it’s more profitable to have a paying event that night than to let the ballroom sit empty.

My scheme worked, and of course I get the irony that the Persian venue owner, the guy who okayed the event, is someone Ann wouldn’t have allowed in the country if she had her way.

The event was scheduled for late October, 2018.

Now, by that point, for several years I’d been doing a podcast with two friends. There was Ann Sterzinger, a brilliant author, editor, and translator (here’s her Substack). Ann saved my life by hiring me at Takimag in January 2015, when she was the editor. Without that job, I’d have been fucked worse than Gidget in Matt Gaetz’s torture dungeon.

The other member of our podcast team was Edwin Oslan, a man my porn girl Kera referred to as the ugliest human she’s ever seen. Even the grotesque graveyard ghouls from The Monster Club think he’s hideous.

He was also dumb as a brick. A Russian-Jewish guy from West Bloomfield, Michigan, who fled to L.A. when his mommy and daddy couldn’t pay his way out of a DUI, so he went on the lam to avoid his jail term.

Oh, and he was an incel (surprise surprise), a 34-year-old virgin who could never grasp why women spat at him in the street.

I despised Edwin. I hated the sight of him, I hated his stupidity, I hated his constant whining about not getting laid. But the thing is, that’s what made the podcast work. My hostility to Edwin, and his mumbling idiocy, made for truly great on-air moments, because it was sincere. We weren’t putting on an act. It was a dynamic that our audience, which had grown fairly large by 2018, really loved.

Sincerity can’t be faked. That’s why the Tarantino/Rodriguez film Grindhouse flopped. Those oafs were trying to fake bad 1970s movies. But people only like bad 1970s movies because they were made in sincerity, unironically, by oafier oafs who really thought they were making great art. You can’t be “too smart for the room” and make a counterfeit bad film; it’ll show.

As Tarantino and Rodriguez found out when their flop caused Weinstein to take a bath that for once didn’t involve a frightened teen actress washing his dick.

So I was actually nice to Edwin. I tolerated him, and even helped him. I found him a place to live in L.A., I let him hang out with me and Kera, I picked up the check at lunches and dinners, and I generally tried to encourage this Rain Man to better his life.

When we were on camera, that’s when I let my disgust come through.

But soon the annoyances started to outweigh the show. At the time, I was taking care of my elderly dad, and Edwin would creep through my house and steal my dad’s liquor, then get angry at me when I’d ask him to replace it (my dad was largely bedridden; vodka was his pleasure of choice, and my POV was, it’s not for me to deprive an 84-year-old man of his sole vice).

Edwin would save up his dookie until he got to my house, and then he’d spend 30 minutes in my bathroom clogging the toilet. It got to where I had to revoke his toilet privileges. I’d send him up the street to the local market to use their can.

It was these little things that would get under my skin. He’d bring obese skanks (likely hookers) to my house, then bitch when they’d ditch him. He’d bring retards he met on the street to be in our audience for the podcast. But again, I tolerated Edwin because our on-air dynamic was funny. People liked it. They liked me mercilessly berating him as he stammered and smiled and downed vodka while trying but failing to mount a clever comeback.

So when the October 2018 Coulter event came around, I promised Edwin that he could help out. Just as you’d do with a retarded child.

“Here, hold this string. Who’s daddy’s smart little tard?”

“I’m helpeding!”

But every task I gave Edwin, he didn’t do. Instead, he’d go to bars to brag “I’m an ORGANIZER,” and he’d get drunk and pass out. So I dismissed him from the team. I told him he could still come to the event - on my comp list - but he was no longer a “helper.”

And that made Edwin seethe.

This principle cuts across race, ethnicity, and ideology: the lower the IQ, the more the feeling of entitlement. That goes for ghetto Daquans, that goes for the white losers who’ve become X superstars by screaming “the JEWS dun ruint my life.” Ghetto blacks on the left, Nazis on the right; the common denominator is that they get bitter easily because they carry such an unearned high opinion of themselves.

But back to my story.

As my team and I were getting everything ready for the event, Edwin was plotting to destroy it. Four days before the event, Edwin sent emails to every local ANTIFA org, alerting them that “Nazi” Ann Coulter and “Nazi” David Cole were going to be on the Westside that night.

He also pseudonymously sent these two fliers to the venue owner…

…and then he called in a bomb threat the next day, warning the owner that if the event wasn’t canceled, the venue would be leveled.

The venue owner called me into his office. My partner on the project and I explained that it was just a disgruntled but toothless former volunteer, and the owner allowed us to proceed, with a stern warning that if the venue were damaged, he’d hold me personally and financially responsible.

See, I was right. I was correct that a Persian business owner would always look at the bottom line. Three days ‘til zero hour did not afford the owner time to re-book the ballroom. So his choice was, return my down-payment and lose the money for the booking as the venue sat empty on a Saturday night, or let things proceed.

That was Edwin’s error; he waited too long to phone in the bomb threat. Three days and counting, there’s no way a venue owner can rebook.

A cowardly white venue owner would’ve taken the loss out of “ANTI-FASCIST PRINCIPLE!” But a Persian didn’t want to lose the dough.

And I knew that. I accounted for it in choosing the venue.

IQ matters, folks.

Aware of Edwin’s treachery, and knowing that he had a few sympathetic ears among my Facebook friends, I fed them the story that his bomb threat had forced the cancellation of the event, and they passed that along to Edwin, who told ANTIFA “no need to protest, the event’s been called off,” while meanwhile I hired extra security, several thousand dollars worth, to ensure that Coulter and my 200+ guests would be safe.

Remember - if ANTIFA had stormed the room, as Edwin intended, who would they have gone after? Me? Please. They’d have no idea who I am, at least not on sight. They’d have gone straight for Coulter. They’d have tried to pulverize her. I didn’t tell Ann about these backstage threats (never trouble the talent), but I spent what needed to be spent and did what needed to be done to keep her safe.

The event went great, my security staff was above and beyond, a few rogue ANTIFAs and BLM-types were seen at one point approaching the venue, but they were quickly scared off by the sheer size (and I mean numbers and muscle mass) of the defenders.

Around midnight, the event over, my team and I gathered at a nearby bar to celebrate. We texted Edwin a hundred times going “LOOOOOSER! LOOOOOOSER!”

But then…something unexpected happened.

A few days later, Edwin took to Facebook and admitted his plot. Copped to it, bragged about it. Boasted about what balls he had to try to get the room stormed by ANTIFA, to try to get Ann Coulter beaten to death. And…he became a hero for it. Not a hero on the left, but a hero among some of our mutual rightist friends.

The right and wrong of his actions didn’t matter; what mattered was LULZ culture, an online rightist pathology in which the ability to make a guy with a frog avatar go OH NOOOOO HE DIDN’T matters more than politics or ethics. “THAT CRAZY-ASS EDWIN TRIED TO KILL ANN COULTER! BASED! What a BALLS-OUT NO-GIVE-A-SHIT VIKING WARRIOR!”

As I always say, far-rightists and ghetto Daquans are the same beast. You guys will look at clips of ghetto blacks destroying things for no reason - a new inner city cafe staffed by people with great intentions opens and the locals bust it up just for giggles; a new park is dedicated and the locals bust it up while laughing hysterically on TikTok; a dude’s walking his dog and the locals kick it to death because it’s hilarious - and you say, “my heavens, those ghetto heathens. They destroy just for fun! Wot animals.”

But that’s you too, you fucking animals. “Oh shit, he was gonna kill Ann Coulter just because David Cole insulted him? Gotta admire the BALLSY guts! Man, fuckin’ hilarious! Cole and Coulter are like ‘let’s have an event’ and Edwin’s all ‘fuck that, you gonna be stomped like mutherfuckers.’ Man, that Edwin’s one crazy-ass beautiful bastard; he’ll fuck up your shit.”

It’s the humor that comes from destroying things others have built. It’s in all of us; your little brother builds a Jenga tower and you knock it down. This kind of thing is expected in children. But ghetto blacks and rightist LULZers do it into adulthood. You know those video clips, I’m sure you’ve seen at least one, likely more, where a group of ghetto blacks watches a guy get sucker-punched, and the entire crowd responds with uncontrolled paroxysms of laughter and hooping, hollering, and jumping around. “AWWWW SHIT! DUDE GOT KNOCKED DA FUCK OUT!” And the right and wrong of it - why was an innocent passerby punched? - doesn’t matter, and basic human decency and introspection - maybe we shouldn’t reward his actions by morphing into the Apollo audience on rap night - doesn’t factor into it. Just the whooping and laughing and mob appreciation of brutality for brutality’s sake.

Well, Cletus, those ghetto thugs are you, and you are they…just less physically emotive.

And when I saw this with the Edwin situation, right at the time when the Groypers were ascendant, when they were going after Kirk, when they were trying to one-up Trump in the “oh no he dih-ent” department, I got a hell of a bad vibe about the future. And even I couldn’t foresee how bad it would really get.

Here’s where we reach the important part: how did ol’ Dave handle the Edwin situation? Well, upon seeing the positive reaction to Edwin’s terrorism, ol’ Dave laid down the law. I issued an ultimatum: you cannot be in touch with Edwin and have anything to do with me. If I catch you having any contact with Edwin, you’re gone from my life and endeavors. Banned. Dead to me.

No exceptions.

When I discovered one of my documentary film collaborators was carousing with Edwin, I cut him off. Cold turkey. This collaborator had been useful to me; I was actually making my life more difficult by bidding him farewell. But I did it all the same. I enacted a zero tolerance policy, and it was the law.

What, a man took something seriously? Didn’t play it for laughs? Didn’t use it to increase his online traffic?

This is so alien to the current right, a movement made up of LULZers who take nothing seriously beyond KICK ASS TWEETS! It’s all a fucking joke to you. You’re not “patriots.” You’re would-be Jokers who refuse to live any principles. Oh, you may have principles, but you refuse to let them interfere with your online fun. Candace Owens torments Charlie’s window? “AWWWW SHIT, OH NO SHE DIH-ENT!” Joe Kent says he’s going to testify for Charlie’s murderer, to get him acquitted? “WHOA, that is BALLS OUT!” Fuentes calls for the murder of Jews? “THE NADS ON THAT LITTLE MAN! Gotta hand it to him; he makes ‘em MAD!”

Bannon embezzles from you? Bannon aids Epstein? “Wotta character! He’s his own man, he breaks all the rules!” George Santos? “The stones on that guy! That rogue’s a hoot!” Milo? “One minute he says he’s Catholic, the next he says he wants to suck black dick. Oh I gotta follow him! So colorful; this ain’t your grandpa’s conservatism!”

Matt Gaetz traffics minors? Rapes women? “BASED! He’s a FORCE OF NATURE. He just doesn’t give a shit. Go get ‘em, Matty! We need rightists who say ‘fuck your optics.’”

Andrew Tate? “That colorful caveman; he really ruffles some feathers! Hey - if we’re gonna OWN THE LEFT, we’ll need confident, kick-ass rapists on our side.”

Fuentes and “Clavicular” enter a club playing “Nigga Heil Hitler?” “Those Nazis are such lovable goofs. Gotta give it to ‘em.”

At heart, and my understanding of this comes from decades of dealing with the right, many conservatives carry a…well…I guess you could call it “generational trauma” about being perceived as button-down squares. It’s Asians rejecting the “Asians are good at math” thing. A beneficial stereotype - one that leads to trust, confidence, and jobs. But people prefer to be seen as cool. Nobody wants to be tagged with a square stereotype. So now anything that makes rightists feel edgy, they indulge, from defending pedos to advocating Nazism.

THIS AIN’T BILL BUCKLEY’S CONSERVATIVE MOVEMENT! We’re sieg heiling at Fuentes while watching Milo fuck Glenn Greenwald up the ass as Bannon and Gaetz force a teen girl to give them BJs to Kid Rock screaming “BAWBIDDYBAW” and Nicki Minaj rappin’ “Only rap bitch pussy taste like fruit. Back to the thuggin, now we sippin sizzurp. Pour it down my ass let ‘em drink it till he bizzurp.” Call us squares now, I dare ya!

And yes, those are real Nicki Minaj lyrics. Nicky Minaj, ladies and gentlemen - the MAGA poet laureate. It’s funny, really...during my years of being the “Republican Party Animal,” I used to catch shit from older GOPs because I had rock music at my events. One time in 2011 I was holding an event for newly-minted Ohio Congressman Mike Kelly from Erie PA, and I let my good friend Eric Porvaznik (here’s his podcast) play the event with his band (Eric’s also from Erie, so it was appropriate). Well, afterwards some withered old bat came up to me bitching that Eric’s band’s rendition of Synchronicity II was too “loud and vulgar” for her.

That poor old hag. These days she’d have to sit through such Minaj classics as “All you niggas want some Nick cake/If you eat ass I got a thick plate. Ass so fat, all these bitches’ pussies is throbbin’/Bad bitches, I’m your leader, Phantom by the meter/Somebody point me to the best ass-eater.”

Hey, it could be worse. It could be “Nigga Heil Hitler.”

A few years ago I saw that one of my high-profile rightist friends was following a dude who sings rockin’ songs about exterminating Jews. My friend’s excuse was that this animal had one good tweet, and my friend followed him without bothering to check his page, which of course was littered with Nazi propaganda. And I asked my friend, “couldn’t you have spent five seconds to click on this person’s account before following him based on one tweet, so as not to give more traffic to a Nazi?” And my friend replied, and this is verbatim: “That takes all the fun out of X!”

Yes, it’s all fun and games to you folks. So much so that observing the “five second rule” - clicking an unfamiliar account’s page before following or retweeting to ensure you’re not giving traffic to a Nazi - is unthinkable to you. You’re such “patriots,” you can’t waste five precious seconds to “gatekeep” voter-repelling party-destroying Nazis.

And that makes me want to be done with the entire thing. Because it’s not just the “new right” and the Groypers. It’s MAGA in general, including the non-Nazi Boomers. Trump’s whole appeal to these people is “Lookit the balls on that guy! INCORRIGIBLE! He’ll say or do ANYTHING! Force o’ nature!” Trump’s no Nazi, of course. But he set the tone for the online culture that has you laughing along with Nazis.

When the Chicago Bulls fired Jaden Ivey a week ago because he called gays “unrighteous” and Catholicism “a false religion,” screechy-voiced retard Mike Cernovich demanded on X to know why the Pope, being from Chicago, wasn’t defending Ivey from being “canceled.”

It never for one fucking moment occurred to Cerno that the Pope might not want to defend a guy who calls Catholicism heretical. Because to Cerno, it’s all LULZ LULZ LULZ! How dare the leader of Catholics take the defamation of Catholicism seriously?

Don’t you know that takes all the fun out of X?

I have several high-profile conservative friends whose whole thing is how WASPs rule! The Founders were WASPs, our founding philosophy was WASP, and our nation got worse when the Catholics came in. But these proud old-school Protestants laugh along on X with the new wave of lunatic far-right Catholics (Poso, Prejean-Ballsack, Owens, Flynn, Kent, Milo when he’s not sucking dick, Vance when he’s not sucking dick) who declare Protestantism heretical. “They say my faith is false? LOL LOL! This is funnnnnnn!”

Standing only for LULZ means standing for nothing.

You’ve been manipulated by “anti-cancel culture” into thinking that consequences equal canceling. “Wait, Edwin tried to unleash ANTIFA terror on your event and now you’re cutting ties with him over it? And giving others an ultimatum to choose you or him? What a CANCELER you are! Don’t you know rightists must NEVER cancel ANYONE? (Greta Thunberg voice) How DARR yew?” You’ve been led to abandon standards, and to abandon holding people responsible for their actions, because you’re scared to death of being seen as a “canceler,” and because X is SO much more fun when you playfully indulge evil instead of shunning it.

Holocaust denial, Nazism, pedophilia, embezzlement, Catholics calling Protestants heretics, and the only time anyone raises an eyebrow is when somebody starts to take words seriously and says, “I’m no longer giving this person visibility or a platform.”

What are you, some kind of FUN BURGLAR?

Why do you think nobody’s suing anybody for defamation? Erika Kirk has clearly been defamed. Yet no lawsuit. Why? Because it’s all a big larf. To everyone. Everyone’s getting heap big likes and shares by playing along. Hardy-har-har! Someone defames you? SPAR WITH THEM ON X!!!! Do a podcast with them WWE-style! Oh what fun! None of it matters; just put on a show.

Life ain't nothin' but a funny, funny riddle!

You know who didn’t LULZ? Dominion Voting Systems. They sued, and they real-world kicked your fucking asses. They didn’t do podcasts with rightists; they damaged rightists. Because Dominion acted like things matter beyond LULZ. The Blaze is melting down because of the upcoming defamation suit by the Capitol Police officer they wrongly accused of the J6 pipe bombing.

You’re baffled by this! “Why is she suing? She should do PODCASTS and ‘own’ the Blaze with quips!”

Maybe you shitstains keep getting bested by Israel because Israelis still take things seriously. Netanyahu, love him or hate him, is no LULZer. He lives his beliefs in a way none of you do. He believes - right or wrong - that his people are facing an existential threat, and he acts accordingly. That must be so foreign to you. Netanyahu doesn’t do podcasts with Hasan Piker and Stew Peters. He doesn’t act like it’s all a farce. He doesn’t do kayfabe and kabuki with his enemies. He kills them.

I have nothing but respect for that.

While you’re playing clownshow, Netanyahu plays it serious. And he’s not worried about being perceived as a humorless square.

You could learn a thing or two from that. It’s not “Jew magic” or “Jew money” that beats you - it’s your own debilitation, your belief that life is nothing but online LULZ. You cripple yourselves, idiots.

And I’ll go even further: you Bufords have Israel envy. Your entire existence these days is performative. “Whites are being genocided, replaced! America’s being Mexicanized and ghettoized. They’re comin’ fer YER GUNZ and YER RAW MILK and YER MANHOOD and YER CATHOLICISM. It fills you with rage that Israel is facing an actual, physical, genuinely existential threat. A real one with real death, not your Shakespearean “I Am Slain!” because Don Lemon said something hurtful about you. You’re out there on X acting like you’re under siege, and because in reality you’re not, it all devolves into LULZ culture. Wrestling heroes and heels facing off on a podcast slamming fake chairs over each other to audience applause. But deep down, hide it though you will, you’d actually like the play-acting to be at least a little real.

And here comes Israel, and they get to fight for realzies. Their heels carry real chairs not props, and you hate that, because it exposes your phony “existential war” for what it is.

“Quit having a real war; it’s marginalizing my fake one!”

You act like it’s the end of the world when you can’t say “nigger” online. “I’m being oppressed! The act of keeping me from saying ‘nigger’ is an extermination! A genocide! Blacks and browns are ruling over me!” Whereas in Israel you have “browns” literally murdering Jews, and the world community is like, “we forbid Jews from fighting back against these people of color.”

Kinda makes your performative tantrum over not being able to say '“nigger” pale in comparison, huh?

I’d even go so far as to suggest that this is one (not the only one, but one) of the reasons the right responds with such hostility toward the plight of the Ukrainians. A bunch of white people facing a genuine existential threat? A for-real war of extermination? Of replacement? Makes your plastic army men and papier-mâché guns look even faker, huh?

That these whites under actual threat are led by a Jew makes you all the angrier.

“We shouldn’t be sending all that money to Ukraine; we should use that money here to support the WHITE MAN’S war for the freedom to call black children ‘nigger’ in a public park.”

And you assholes know I’m not exaggerating about that. You think I’ll ever let you forget Shiloh Hendrix? The white trash bimbo who verbally accosted a black five-year-old in a park last year? Hendrix wasn’t fired, wasn’t canceled, wasn’t assaulted. She was merely criticized online. And you dickbags considered that such an affront, you rewarded Hendrix with nearly a million dollars - just for yelling “nigger” at a child.

That’s the war you want to fight. That’s your WWIII. Shiloh Hendrix gets your Purple Heart for injuries sustained in your sham of a war, and you get the Medal of Valor for giving her a million bucks and winning the Battle of Nigger Park.

Turns out, you whites really are fragile! Hendrix’s self-esteem was damaged by reading a hurty word online (a great irony considering her deed), and you rode to her rescue.

So don’t bitch to me about any “war on whites.” You whine about “white people cain’t git no jerbs namore.” Well, Hendrix’s million could’ve gone toward a job training program for whites, or a fund for unemployed whites.

Like, remember Milo Yiannopoulos’ “white college grant fund” from 2016? He embezzled every fucking penny of it, and you people still, to this day, cheer and retweet him. “WOTTA CHARACTER! Oh that Milo, FORCE A’ NATURE!” You’ve never held him accountable. And yes I mean YOU, those of you who’ll likely DM me about how the war on whites is real. You’ve continued to retweet Milo and praise Milo, never asking for an accounting of the money that was supposed to go toward white students, because Milo’s such a flamboyant funny guy and dammit rightists have to prove we’re not button-down squares!

You excuse Milo, who embezzled the white college fund, you excuse Bannon who embezzled the wall money, you excuse Trump who’s pardoned felons who’ve flooded the white community with drugs and bilked whites out of millions. If you really thought you were in a war, you wouldn’t do that shit.

Several of my Milo-loving readers bitch about how the highly-competent but personally dull DeSantis is unpopular as a 2028 candidate. Well, by championing Milo you’re the ones reinforcing the GOP mania that buttoned-down competence is too square, man. Too boring. Bein’ a CHARACTA is what matters! Even if it means excusing the embezzlement of the “war on whites” warchest.

I only follow 24 people on X, and half of them - readers of mine - follow Milo.

You do know that you can read someone’s tweets without following them, right? Following means support. Don’t give me that “I just like seeing whatever wacky thing he says next.” You can do that without following him. Your follow means you support his embezzlement of the white college fund. You support him demanding that all Jews be kicked out of the U.S. (as he said last year). And last week he practically declared war on Protestants, a group he considers heretical and hellbound. And my proud WASP friends who follow him? They support that. They support him saying their own parents rot in Hell.

Don’t try to pass it off as “Oh, I’m only LULZing.” I’m not playing that game anymore. I’m done with your performative nonsense, your online “all the world’s a stage” routine where everything becomes a show, a fun ol’ Vince McMahon laff-fest.

Enjoy the show; it has a closing date. Oh, don’t listen to me now. Wait ‘til you’re slaughtered in the midterms (which will definitely happen) and then slaughtered in 2028 (which I pray will happen if the Dems reject Newsom, Harris, and the far-left). You need to have seriousness slapped back onto your stupid giggling faces. Heavy electoral losses will…well, might do that.

Funny thing about rightist influencers…on one hand they’ll brag that they made all the difference in 2024 (“The MAGA X community swung the election!”), but when you call them out on the voter-repelling toxicity they support, they suddenly plead their own impotence. “Gosh oh gitup, we have no influence over voters! The wacky little fun we have on X influences nothing.”

That’s how important LULZing is to the right - influencers will insist they don’t influence, just so they can keep the fun going.

Looking back at the Edwin affair, I actually have more respect for him than I do for you bozos. Edwin was at least acting out of a personal grudge.

Shit, I’ve done that (wait ‘til you read the epilogue to the Republican Party Animal second edition). Acting poorly to get back at someone who’s personally slighted you, even if, as in Edwin’s case, the slight was imaginary and born of entitlement, I get that. I understand it. What I don’t get are the PATRIOTICAL AMERICANISTS and PROUD PROTESTANTS who are desecrating the very things they claim to hold dear - their country and their faith - in the name of likes, views, and FUNNNNNNNN!

Edwin was acting out against a perceived foe. You’re defiling things you claim to hold sacred.

You’re worse.

Good luck LULZing your way to losing. I’m out.

A Random Thought

You guys know me as a dude who roundly rejects conspiracy theorizing. But I wonder if Trump’s moronic threats against Greenland earlier this year were a kind of barometer intended to measure his base’s support for a possible war with Iran.

“Sir, we’ve been monitoring X, Facebook, and Truth Social, and within 24 hours of your announcement to conquer Greenland, your largest online influencers are expressing glee at the idea of putting boots on the ground and going to war against Denmark, a peaceful white Christian ally that’s never done us any harm. The views on these posts are in the tens of millions, and the comments from MAGA accounts run 99% pro-war with Denmark, a friendly nation. I think that means we’re safe to bomb the shit out of Iran.”

Maybe it wasn’t an intentional barometer, but you mindless MAGA numbnutses who were all-in for slaughtering Danes likely had some influence.

Hey, you wanted to be an influencer, gramps.

Hep cat twenty-three-skidoobidy-bop.

And Yes…

Some of you may have been expecting the answers to the quiz from two weeks ago. But fuck me, I’m just not in the mood. We couldn’t even manage 100 comments, topping out at 93. Took the mickey right outta my mouse.

Looks like if you want to know the correct answer, you’ll just have to live with the mystery a while longer.

Happy Passover to those who celebrate, and happy Jews Drink Christian Blood Week to Candace Owens and those who LULZ her.

Don’t let Dave be low during a High Holiday. Buy Me a Beer, GiveSendGo, PayPal.

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Ten dollars a year. I couldn’t have possibly made it cheaper. And remember, I only enacted that policy because last year Holocaust deniers started spamming the comments, creating new Substack accounts every time I banned an old one (Substack refuses to block serial spammers at the IP level). One dude created 100 phony accounts in one day, just to spam-up the comments here and ruin it for everyone.

So by insisting on paid subs for commenters, I ensured that it would cost losers like that denier $1,000 to create 100 fake accounts. And it worked! They fled. Deniers are easily flummoxed and routed by three things: facts, logic, and any Jew on earth.

So we got rid of our spam problem, but now a lot of you are acting like $10 a year is some great burden.

You assholes pay more than that to watch trannies blow truckers at the Roady’s glory hole. And that’s only the cost to watch; participating starts at $30 (the Iran war continues to drive the cost of everything higher; thanks, Jews).

I understand when it’s casual readers who just aren’t interested enough to comment. Fine! That’s your choice; spend your hard-earned dollars on things that matter to you, like watching the “Cash Me Ow-side” girl on OnlyFans celebrate her 40th birthday by lip-synching WAP with her labia. But I have MAGA Boomer friends who love to comment on my work, but only on Facebook where it’s free. And they’ll say things like “Trump has created the STRONGEST BESTEST ECONOMY EVER!” and I’ll ask “Then can you part with $10 a year for a paid sub?” and they’ll reply “Are you kidding? In this shitty economy?”

Okay, you Cletuses are cheap fickle fucks. But for youses who pay, let’s have some fun. After all, my last piece about white people didn’t exactly set your world on fire (or maybe it did, a little too much). Oh, I did get some great responses - that I’d like to reply to - but they all came in via DM. Because God forbid anyone use the comment section anymore.

Just like God forbid any of my high-profile readers actually promote this Substack (Rod Dreher is an exception, and thanks Rod - back atcha).

The second edition of Republican Party Animal, stuffed as it is with a new intro, a new chapter about the Holocaust, and a 10,000-word epilogue, has not been engineered to make readers think highly of me. Indeed, the epilogue is far more likely to make you think less of me, as it covers the events that occurred after 2014, including how I dealt with my GOP foes following my “cancelation.” You will either see me as a righteous avenger or a right fucking asshole.

I hate, absolutely hate self-aggrandizing autobiographies (i.e. every political autobiography in America). How can anyone like that shit? And you do realize, I hope, that all of those political autobiographies you read (left or right) are penned by ghostwriters.

Nah, you prolly don’t.

Well, Dave don’t use no ghostwriter. And, as the only one who knows the mind of Dave, I might as well give it to you straight, including the ugly bits.

Indeed, my “confessions” in the epilogue include admissions that I did a few things I’ve sworn to friends I didn’t do. Literally, twelve years of saying “oh no, that wasn’t me” will become “yeah, t’was I after all.”

What a lovable rogue I am.

Oh, shit - I promised you “fun.” Okay, here’s the fun. Let’s see how well you beloved regular readers who are wealthy enough to afford $10 a year really know me. To follow are ten totally true facts about me that I didn’t have room to include in the book. And one totally false thing.

Ten of these are 100% true. One is 100% false. Can you guess the false one?

Let’s see how many of you can find the fake.

The person who guesses correctly wins a free personalized copy of my book. If there ends up being more than one correct guesser, I’ll put the screen names in a jar and do a video where I blindly draw the winner.

Remember: Ten are completely true. One is a lie.

Here we go!

1) In 1985 on a Hollywood street, my friend Little Robert and I were approached to star in a kiddie porn. With the amount of money we were offered, we actually considered it.

2) In 1995 I bled all over German sexpot actress Diana Frank (and she was wearing white, which made it much worse). She was not pleased.

3) In 2010 I sipped whiskey and watched TV in the living room of the director of The House of Sand and Fog as he had a threesome with his wife and my pole-dancing friend Emilee in the bedroom.

4) In 1985 B-movie impresario Larry Cohen tried to pick up my blonde, well-developed teen girlfriend at a film screening.

5) In 1986 I destroyed a high school friend’s $50,000 sports car in anger because he got a blowjob from a girl I’d been pursuing for years.

6) In 2008 Marlon Brando’s co-star from The Wild One called me “faggot” over the phone while he was fucking a tranny hooker in a cheap Inglewood motel room.

7) In 2009 at the Excalibur, I waved my penis at a female friend and her mother in a deluxe top-floor suite I was paying for.

8) In 2016 I did a non-nude walk-on in one of my porn girl Kera’s X-rated flicks (background actor in a party scene).

9) In 2001 I lied my way into a Christian homeschool group just so my girlfriend and I could go to their private event at Six Flags Magic Mountain.

10) In 1993 the son of a legendary NBA All-Star tried to rape me in an elevator.

11) In 1983 I was groped by the first actor to voice Batman in a cartoon series.

Okay - find the fake and win an autographed book!

See how much fun $10 a year buys?

And no, replies via DM or Facebook will NOT count. You must reply here in the comments to be eligible.

The Tablet Story

I’m just gonna tell this one as it happened, with only the briefest of editorializing where needed.

On October 1st last year, I got a DM (the DMs…always with the DMs) from Tablet Magazine editor Jacob Siegel:

Dear David, I’m an editor with Tablet Magazine. I’d like to send you a proposal. What’s the best email to get in touch?

I expressed interest and he followed up with a more detailed explanation:

Tablet’s new print magazine has a section called Vanitas that features narrative cartoons done in the classic Mad style but going after contemporary targets. Are you interested in writing one of these?

We like these to be funny and acerbic, which is why I thought of you. One idea would be to chronicle all the enemies that you’ve made in the different phases of your public life. Something like “How to Make Enemies and Alienate Everyone with David Cole” with each panel detailing an enemy from a different decade. If you’re interested, I’ll be happy to give you more details on the pay, timing, and how it would work with you writing and someone else illustrating.

We’re also on the lookout for great illustrators who don’t shy away from this kind of subject matter if you know any.

Well of course I thanked him for the offer, explaining that even though I’ve never written text for cartoons, I’d be game to try. After all, Tablet is a respected mag and perhaps having a byline there would assist in my neverending quest to stop being banned from everywhere on the fucking planet.

To be frank, I kinda lied when I said I’d never done cartoons. In high school circa 1985 I was so inspired by The Far Side that I contributed single-panel cartoons to my school paper. The only one I recall showed a bunch of prehistoric cavemen sitting around in their primitive lair, and on the wall is an axe in a glass case, with a label affixed to it: “In case of discovery of fire break glass.”

That was a SOLID fucking gag. Especially for a teenager.

But I wasn’t fond of Siegel’s idea that I make the cartoon about myself. Look, you guys know me. Ann Coulter, Tucker Carlson, Jared Taylor, and Larry Elder know me. Lipstadt, Greenblatt, Greenstadt, Lipblatt, Blattstadt, they know me. But I’m hardly a household name. I thought Siegel’s idea to do a “How to Make Enemies and Alienate Everyone with David Cole” strip would come off as too self-indulgent. Like, thousands of Tablet readers going “Who the fuck is this guy we’ve never heard of who’s acting like we should somehow know him and care about his life?”

Rod Dreher calls me “bumptious,” ironically the name of a black high school chum (Bumpshus Jones). But although yes, I am oftentimes just that, I’m also an expert in reading a room. Don’t be pompous arrogant in a crowd that neither knows nor cares about you; you’ll look foolish.

So I came up with my own concept for the Tablet piece, while incorporating Siegel’s suggestion to put myself in it, but only as narrator voice. This was early October 2025, and I had just recently received stem cell injections from Steve Sailer so that I could start noticing things. And here’s what I noticed: I saw that Candace Owens was about to rift-rend the right by going all Jew-crazy on the Charlie Kirk murder, and I knew that Tucker was about to interview Nick Fuentes, and that it would be a love fest.

I foresaw trouble on the horizon. That a friend of mine had just returned from Maine after doing Tucker’s show, and the man I knew had been replaced by an Invasion of the Body Snatchers replicant from Planet Tuck (“Tucker is good, Tucker is great; I surrender my will, as of this date”), revved my pessimism. I saw absolute chaos ahead, and I’d be proven right, as November would bring the Heritage Foundation “yay Groypers” controversy, the JD Vance/Matt Walsh “protect Groypers at all costs” lunacy, and of course Candace and Kelly burning everything to the ground.

Knowing what was coming, I decided to make that the focus of my cartoon script.

Siegel sent me an example of the format for the type of two-page comic spread they wanted. It’s the National Lampoon thing where a series of overlapping panels tells a story with a combination of images, narration, interstitial panels, and speech bubbles/thought bubbles.

And he sent me the format and template regarding how to type up the script for the illustrator. So that’s what I followed.

And I present to you exactly what I sent to Siegel. Had it run, I would’ve come off as prescient.

Rather than merely precious.

I did briefly consider using AI to make my Tablet script into a cartoon for the purpose of this Substack, but…folks…you’re very generous with your donations and all, but I don’t get paid enough to exert that level of energy.

So here it is, completely unchanged, the exact Word doc script (in the requested format) I sent to Siegel.

Spoiler: Not only did it never run, I never heard from Jacob Siegel again.

RIP Tablet byline.

See you next week.

Tips are appreciated: Buy Me a Beer, GiveSendGo, PayPal.

Also, follow me on X. I’m so shadow-banned groundhogs run from me. But a follow from YOU might help! Also, tune in if only to see me spar with Holocaust deniers every day; it’s rather entertaining. Also, Ann Coulter, Andrew Kolvet, Dave Weigel, Curtis Yarvin, and Tablet Editor-in-Chief Alana Newhouse follow me. And Scott Baio! So it’s settled; you should too.

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“We’re not the racist monsters the left paints us as! Gosh oh gollywickers, we love our friends of color. We just want to work and play and dance and sing without our skin color used against us!”

Such kindly darlings! How could you refuse such humble pie?

But there’s a flaw in the human character, and it applies to every racial, ethnic, religious or whatever demographic: people are at their best when oppressed, and their worst when empowered. Everyone looks good when they’re bullied, when they’re piled on by the mob. “Oh you poor victims! In your tragic persecuted eyes I see the innocence of a little fox caught by dogs. Here, let me take you in my hands! Your little heart, it beats so fast (ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh).”

But when the oppressed inevitably become the empowered, they always blow it. When whites finally “found their voice” (after having been deprived of it for 50 or so years, much to the relief of the people they used to lynch, who of course themselves went from oppressed to empowered with equally bad results), they couldn’t just rule with wisdom, breaking the cycle. Nope, they had to become as vile as their oppressors. Elon Musk championing white supremacy, boosting pro-Hitler accounts, cheering Holocaust denial and Jewish genocide. Trump’s in-house Klansman Darren Beattie declaring “only white men must be in charge.” Millennial GOPs (including the College Republican leadership) gleefully celebrating Hitler and finding orgasmic joy in sieg heiling and shouting “NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER” every chance they get.

You bewbs read Jared Taylor and thought, “hey, inside every white man is a Taylor and a Sailer!”

No. Inside most of you is a cousin-fucking no-toilet-paper-using nose-picker. Taylor’s a unicorn. Sorry to break that to you; he’s not representative of whites, IQ wise. He’s an outlier. When you decided to go white nationalist, when you decided to embrace Jew-hatred, you didn’t trade Jews for Taylors. You traded Jews for the worst of your kind, the losers whose only accomplishment in life is having been born with pinky skin. The monosyllabic Kallikaks who grunt and fart their way through an aimless existence.

You thinking that unleashing white supremacy would usher in a new generation of Taylors and Sailers is like white liberals in 1967 going to see Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner and thinking “I bet everyone in the ghetto is just like Poitier! Let’s bring the ghetto to the suburbs.”

Ten years ago in Takimag I wrote about how my problem with Affirmative Action is that we were told by leftists that by giving blacks unearned positions in universities, we’d be rewarded with a generation of young black cancer-curers.

Never happened, did it?

But don’t laugh too hard, whitey. Because now you’re doing the same thing. “Boost white supremacists and Nazis, and your reward will be a generation of young white cancer-curers.

But we’re not getting that, and you know it. We’re getting a generation of emotionally-crippled autistic incels and tranny freaks who whack off to anime while screaming “NIGGER!”

You think I’m kidding? Here’s a photo of the head of the University of Florida College Republicans sieg heiling along with his anime cosplay “special friend.”

This is real. You think it isn’t happening because you bury your heads in the sand.

I know shit you don’t, Boog. I know people you only read about, like “Passage Press,” Peter Thiel’s attempt to break into the exciting world of right-wing publishing by hiring a handsome novice who knows publishing like I know fashion. Passage and the “Dimes Square” crowd would hold parties (while promoting books by Sailer, Taki, Curtis Yarvin, Nick Land, “Raw Egg Nationalist,” etc.) that were nothing but incels getting blown by trannies while screeching racial epithets.

That’s what you’ve unleased, you fucking idiots. Not a cancer-curer in sight.

I’ve made this point again and again: MAGAs and Daquans are the same animal. And the Daquan/Buford homology marches on. Leftist social scientists (especially in academia) told ghetto blacks “You’re geniuses! You invented everything. You have a right to take up space, to be loud, abrasive, and prideful,” and Musk, rightist X, and many members of the Trump Administration tell loser whites “You’re geniuses! You invented everything. You have a right to take up space, to be loud, abrasive, and prideful.” And the Daquans and the Bufords have made themselves the nation’s greatest ass-warts. Our top annoyances, our finest irritants.

That’s why I actually like the company of humble Mexican blue-collar laborers. Between American blacks and whites, Mexis are the only ones who aren’t in the grasp of racial grandeur delusions. Living on the road, staying in hotels, I get to hang with the nicest, most kind and unpretentious kitchen workers, housekeepers, and maintenance guys. Are all of them here legally? Probably not, and I might’ve cared a few years ago, before you dickwads issued the “you’re either with the illegals or you’re with US the Nazis” challenge.

Because I ain’t with the Nazis. And I ain’t with the Daquans. I’ll take a Jose or Maria who just wants honest work over the “egomaxxed” Heinrichs and LaQuandas who march through life like Bart Simpson…

So I’ll say to you pinkies the same thing I’ve said to your Daquan brothers: you ain’t all that.

Oh, you’ll say, but you built civilizations!

Oh really? You, yourself? Your granny? Your great granny? You built Mont-Saint-Michel Abbey? Well tar me with molasses, Cletus. You is mah superior!

May I remind you shit-don’t-stinkers of what your own beloved Fuhrer - the guy you see as the true champion of the WHITE MAN, thought about “the masses” of whites taking a victory lap for what essentially comes down to the accomplishments of the few? As I wrote about multiple times at Takimag, in the infamous Hitler/Strasser debate, Strasser, the “revolutionary socialist” Nazi, took the position that “the masses” possess a shared wisdom, a kind of hive-mind genius.

To which Hitler replied “get bent, douchebag” (“Du vergettingen auf bentingeschichte geschaftemacht du bist eine enbaggenische auf der stinkenholencolonicalizen bettersmelleren”). Hitler made the point - and other than liking blonde chicks this is my one and only agreement with the guy - that “the masses” don’t have “shared wisdom.” Rather, individual “exceptional men” forge mankind’s progress, and “the masses” follow like sheep.

So your own sacred Fuhrer didn’t see whites as magical. Yes, of course, he believed that only from the Aryan wellspring sprung the “exceptional men.” But he certainly didn’t think that pinky skin by default makes you some kind of societal overlord.

And let’s look at H.L. Mencken, that rascally scold who pretty much defined unsentimental intellectual commentary a hundred years ago. The “Sage of Baltimore” wasn’t too fond of the people he referred to as “poor white trash,” writing numerous columns about their “brutish imbecilities” (good thing he never saw X):

Alas, for the South! Her books have grown fewer— She never was much given to literature. In the lamented J. Gordon Coogler, author of these elegaic lines, there was the insight of a true poet. He was the last bard of Dixie, at least in the legitimate line. Down there a poet is now almost as rare as an oboe-player, a dry-point etcher or a metaphysician. It is, indeed, amazing to contemplate so vast a vacuity. One thinks of the interstellar spaces, of the colossal reaches of the now mythical ether. Nearly the whole of Europe could be lost in that stupendous region of fat farms, shoddy cities and paralyzed cerebrums: one could throw in France, Germany and Italy, and still have room for the British Isles. And yet, for all its size and all its wealth and all the “progress” it babbles of, it is almost as sterile, artistically, intellectually, culturally, as the Sahara Desert. There are single acres in Europe that house more first-rate men than all the states south of the Potomac.

It is as if the Civil War stamped out every last bearer of the torch, and left only a mob of peasants on the field. One thinks of Asia Minor, resigned to Armenians, Greeks and wild swine, of Poland abandoned to the Poles. In all that gargantuan paradise of the fourth-rate there is not a single picture gallery worth going into, or a single orchestra capable of playing the nine symphonies of Beethoven, or a single opera-house, or a single theater devoted to decent plays, or a single public monument (built since the war) that is worth looking at, or a single workshop devoted to the making of beautiful things. Once you have counted Robert Loveman (an Ohioan by birth) and John McClure (an Oklahoman) you will not find a single southern poet above the rank of a neighborhood rhymester. Once you have counted James Branch Cabell (a lingering survivor of the ancien régime: a scarlet dragonfly imbedded in opaque amber) you will not find a single southern prose writer who can actually write. And once you have—but when you come to critics, musical composers, painters, sculptors, architects and the like, you will have to give it up, for there is not even a bad one between the Potomac mud-flats and the Gulf. Nor an historian, Nor a sociologist. Nor a philosopher. Nor a theologian. Nor a scientist. In all these fields the south is an awe-inspiring blank—a brother to Portugal, Serbia and Esthonia.

Consider, for example, the present estate and dignity of Virginia—in the great days indubitably the premier American state, the mother of Presidents and statesmen, the home of the first American university worthy of the name, the arbiter elegantiarum of the western world. Well, observe Virginia to-day. It is years since a first-rate man, save only Cabell, has come out of it; it is years since an idea has come out of it. The old aristocracy went down the red gullet of war; the poor white trash are now in the saddle. One could no more imagine a Lee or a Washington in the Virginia of to-day than one could imagine a Huxley in Nicaragua.

If one turns to such a commonwealth as Georgia the picture becomes far darker. There the liberated lower orders of whites have borrowed the worst commercial bounderism of the Yankee and superimposed it upon a culture that, at bottom, is but little removed from savagery. Georgia is at once the home of the cotton-mill sweater and of the most noisy and vapid sort of chamber of commerce, of the Methodist parson turned Savonarola and of the lynching bee. A self-respecting European, going there to live, would not only find intellectual stimulation utterly lacking; he would actually feel a certain insecurity, as if the scene were the Balkans or the China Coast. The Leo Frank affair was no isolated phenomenon. It fitted into its frame very snugly. It was a natural expression of Georgian notions of truth and justice. There is a state with more than half the area of Italy and more population than either Denmark or Norway, and yet in thirty years it has not produced a single idea. Once upon a time a Georgian printed a couple of books that attracted notice, but immediately it turned out that he was little more than an amanuensis for the local blacks—that his works were really the products, not of white Georgia, but of black Georgia. Writing afterward as a white man, he swiftly subsided into the fifth rank. And he is not only the glory of the literature of Georgia; he is, almost literally, the whole of the literature of Georgia—nay, of the entire art of Georgia.

Virginia is the best of the south to-day, and Georgia is perhaps the worst. The one is simply senile; the other is crass, gross, vulgar and obnoxious. Between lies a vast plain of mediocrity, stupidity, lethargy, almost of dead silence.

My point, dear readers, is that you’ve been sold on the notion that prior to “da Jews,” and prior to non-European immigration, America was a utopia of high-IQ whites, a cancer being cured on every block, a lightbulb being invented in every garage, even in the poorest of white neighborhoods.

And it’s complete bullshit. Hitler understood that, and so did Mencken, who was very fucking far from being Jewish. But as long as you inbreds are under the spell of “white majority automatically means utopia,” your political judgment will be as damaged as your frontal lobe.

Look, I can try to explain things from a personal perspective. Aesthetically, I’ve always been drawn to beautiful blonde or redhead shiksas. From my high school GF in 1985 to every girl I’ve pursued since (accent on pursued, because I’ve certainly slept with my share of nonwhites who’ve pursued me. Two things ol’ Dave has never turned down: a free meal and a free BJ from a lady). So as a guy with a 57-year history of liking shiksas, I’ve dated LOTS of white trash, mainly wannabe actresses who came to L.A. because there were zero opportunities in their shitkick town. And these bims, proud as they were of landing a Jew with money & smarts, often took me home to meet the folks, in the hope that I’d bail out their debt-ridden family.

These people are unimpressive. And not because blacks, Jews, or beans are “keeping them down.” I’ve bailed out enough “poor white trash” with “brutish imbecilities” in my time to not fall for the “we wuz WHITE KANGZ” slop you’re dishing out.

Christ, I remember Safford, AZ, about 30 years ago. Dating a Kim Basinger lookalike (she’d be the one who’d help me fake my death in 2003 to escape yet another blonde, this one from Michigan). Safford…population 10,000…Jesus it was a deathtrap in 1997. Depressed, methy, and full of exactly the kind of whites Mencken abhorred. The Basinger bim’s pappy was a bearded gold miner who never once found gold. And you know why? Because every time one of his digs got near the mother lode, “the mafia” would sneak into the desert and steal the gold before he could reach it.

I’m not making that up. That was the intellectual caliber of the town. The dad genuinely thought that every time he dug a hole and no gold was there, it was because “the mafia” stole it from him. And the Basinger bim’s brother? Made babies and spread STDs throughout the town, and when the impregnated skanks would ask for child support, the brother would claim that the pregnancy didn’t come from his cock but rather from “witchcraft.”

Again, I wish I were making that up. I’ll never forget a particular night, summer 1997, candlelight dining with the Basinger bim at Houston’s (an upscale restaurant chain) in Century City, and the bim, as we dined on steak and lobster on my dime, telling me how her brother was falsely accused of impregnating the girls he slept with, because it was witchcraftery wot caused the pregnancies, and me sitting there thinking how surreal the entire situation was - an intellectual Jew, an upscale restaurant in the most pristine part of the Westside, and here’s a bim whose brain has not evolved since the Dark Ages.

It was a fascinating incongruity.

And as for Safford, when I was there, it was about 80% white. Today? It’s roughly 50/50 white/bean. And you’ll tell me that’s bad. You'll tell me that this is genocide against the jewels in the crown of the white race.

That goes for every white trash area a bimbo’s brought me over the past 35 years. Seguin, Texas. Bradenton, Flurrda. Grand Island, Nebraskee. St. George, Utah, Center Line, MI. I’ve walked among you in your native lands, and I saw not a single 1-Stop Cancer Cure Clinic.

I’m not saying the people there were bad, just below what I expected from the supposed cream of universal DNA.

Which brings us to Kevin Sorbo, the “best of your race” (as Mencken vomits in disgust from the afterlife he so vehemently denied exists). Sorbo is a meathead so roided-out, his body failed during the filming of his idiotic Hercules TV series (produced by Jews, BTW) that made him a semi-famous punchline.

Dude was literally in the middle of a scene in which Hercules was supposed to brag “I am invincible” but multiple strokes changed the dialogue to “gri ang vervinsiderble.” And this clown, this idiot, is your new “intellectual expert” on white superiority:

“At what point do white people become a minority?” Oh, I don’t know, Strokey McGee - maybe look at your own fucking chart, which says between 1980 and 1990.

From Steve the Sailer to Pop-pills the Sailer.

That I knew this buffoon at Friends of Abe is as surreal to me as the night with the witchcraft bim.

The main question to ask when looking at Sorbo’s stats is, what does it fucking matter? Let’s look at L.A. County - and I always prefer to look at the county as opposed to the city, because the city borders are imperceptible and further complicated by the “city not a city” game we’re famous for (West Hollywood? A city. Hollywood? Not a city. Santa Monica? A city. Venice? Not a city). The Westside of the county (Beverly Hills, Westwood, Brentwood) and the South Bay (El Segundo, Manhattan Beach, Hermosa, Redondo) are great. Safe, desirable, hell - you hobo hat-passers complain that these areas are too expensive! “Waaaaah, I SO wanna move to the Westside, or to the beach, but the rent is too high!”

That’s a weird thing to say about a dystopia.

You know what nobody’s ever said about East St. Louis? “I SO wanna move there but the rent’s too high.”

So what do the demographics matter? If a city functions well, if it’s desirable, but you still complain that it’s not white enough, then yes, you’re a racist piece of shit.

I’d a take a Beverly Hills Persian over a blonde Safford retard in a fucking second, if it was about crafting a prosperous city. I’d take the blonde Safford retard over the Persian if the question at hand was blowjobs. But smarts? Making a city thrive? Give me the Persian. You and your “paper bag tests” can eat my shit.

But there’s a bigger point that Sorbozo ignores. Los Angeles County is the most populous county in the U.S., at 10,000,000 residents. And Los Angeles County is 30% white (not counting white Hispanics). That means there are over 3,000,000 purebred whites in L.A. County.

If I were writing for Asians, they’d see where I’m going already. But since you’re Bufords, I’ll spell it out: There are more pureblood whites in L.A. County than you’ll find in the entire population of America’s whitest states. Maine is our whitest state, at 93%. Vermont comes in second at 90% white. Maine’s entire population is 1.4 million. Vermont’s entire population is 645,000.

You will find more white people in the County of L.A. than you will in our two whitest states combined.

So what’s your beef, Sorbo?

Well, likely the same beef as held by some of you. You want to see only whites, with no pesky browns in-between, ruining the view.

Yet…you continually praise Rhodesia and Apartheid-era South Africa. You speak of them as paradises, white paradises, even though blacks were always a majority in both countries.

So which is it? You white supremacist freaks have become so pampered (by Musk, by “influencers,” by members of the Trump Administration) that you feel no need to make coherent sense. Musk tells you you’re gods, so why should a god have to sort out his thoughts?

But you make no sense. We, the sane, don’t understand what you’re complaining about. First you say Rhodesia was the white man’s paradise. Sure, blacks were the overwhelming majority, but that was okay because they were docile servants, so it was fine.

But when I point out that one of the reasons West L.A. functions so well is because of a workforce comprised of Hispanics who are way more law-abiding than blacks and way more competent and non-aggressive as workers (they don’t secretly fantasize about slitting whitey’s throat, like every Rhodesian black did), you tell me, “oh no no no, we don’t want to be around laborers of color! We want a homeland for ourselves! A white homeland! Just for us, ONLY for us. No blacks or browns allowed.”

Your thoughts are so syphilitic, you toggle between “Rhodesia was heaven! We just sat back and let the coloreds serve us” and “we refuse to live arounds coloreds, even if they serve us.”

You’ve grown so used to rightists telling you you’re kangz, you’ve no need to keep your thoughts straight. Just like ghetto Daquans, you’re told that your every diseased brain spasm is a treasure for the ages.

Tucker Carlson, who manages to be far worse than Sorbo (Sorbo’s just retarded; Tucker’s evil), continues to beat the drum for a “white homeland,” to the enthusiastic retweets of Musk, the world’s richest man and most deadly cancer:

“Every other group in the world has a right to its own homeland except White people? What? Explain how that makes sense. White people deserve a homeland.”

Musk not only retweeted that, he endorsed it. And you mindless children are like “Wow, how WISE! How TRUE! How unfair the world is to us kangz.”

But…where exactly is the “Asian” homeland? Please, give me a name. Give me the place. Where is the “homeland” where anyone with slanted eyes and yellowy skin can go live freely on account of their racial features?

Do Koreans have automatic citizenship in China? Do Japs have automatic citizenship in Korea? You’re so fucking stupid, you likely think “sure they do, gyhurk-gyhurk-ge-gyuck!”

There is no “Asian homeland.” Just as there’s no “black homeland.” You white kangz are so very, very brilliant, you think African nations don’t war, African tribes don’t kill each other, African religious sectarianism doesn’t exist.

“They alls looks alikes to me, gyunk-gyunk, so obviously they alls looks alikes to theyselves, ga-hooook. Ah cain’t tell no Hutu from no Tutsi, so that means they cain’t either, becuz ahm WHITE and mah thunks is the smartest thunks ever. Dintcha hear Musk? Whites is always rights!”

You’ve fooled yourselves into thinking, “we only want what other races have!” That’s you being professional whiny victims. And you’re wrong. You’re just flat-out wrong. You’re asking for something Asians and blacks and Hispanics don’t have (a skin-color, racial-features-based homeland). And even Israel (and let’s not kid ourselves; that’s what Nazi Tuck was talking about) doesn’t bar entry based on skin tone or racial features. There are light-skinded light-eyed Jews like me in Israel, and there are swarthy ones too.

Now of course, because I can read your mind like a child’s coloring book, I know what you’ll say: “But Europe iz our ancestral homeland! Why can’ts we at least make it European only?”

Why? I don’t know. Hey - why not ask the people of Europe? It’s their politicians bringing in the darkies. There are only two thousand Jews in all of Ireland (population 5.46 million). It’s not Jews who are forcing Ireland to bring in “refugees.” You wanna bitch about it, bitch to the Irish politicians and the tards who elect them.

But no, Tucker prefers ASKING QWESTCHINS that always seem to end up putting the blame for the white man’s actions on Jews. White men apparently have no agency.

Again, you think you’re noble geniuses, but you’re just ghetto blacks with thinner noses and a higher SPF.

Fun fact: If you shitstains would accept white Hispanics as white, you’d get back to the old “America white majority” figures from the 1980s. But you don’t, because you’re idiots, and Kevin Sorbo doesn’t, because he’s still trying to figure out why the corn he eats sometimes reappears in the toilet bowl (“But I dun ated it…why it come back? Why it not die? Why corn torment me? Can I eat comeback-corn?”).

You people accept Sicilians as white (okay, Coulter doesn’t, but the rest of you do). Yet you won’t accept white Hispanics.

So let’s have a lil’ fun and visit the Kevin Sorbo School for What Constitutes White:

Lynda Carter? NOT WHITE!

Raquel Welch? NOT WHITE!

To be clear, Sophia Loren (Sofia Costanza Brigida Villani Scicolone) - WHITE.

Raquel Welch (Jo Raquel Tejada) - NOT WHITE.

Danny DeVito? ARYAN SUPERMAN!

Rita Hayworth (Margarita Carmen Cansino)? Fuck off, beaner trash.

Joe Pesci? White as snow.

Cameron Diaz? Genetic garbage.

Paul Giamatti? Stunning Nord!

Sara Paxton? Beat it, you ugly-ass mud person.

Adam Lanza? If only we had an entire nation of such Aryan warriors.

Daphne Zuniga? DEPORT that aborigine.

This is Roberto Cañedo, one of the great stars of Golden Age Mexican cinema:

And you’re going to tell me this isn’t a white man?

This is Cañedo’s granddaughter, Paulie, who I used to refer to as my adopted little sister.

According to Kevin Sorbo, Paulie, born in Mexico City, is not white, and should be kept out of the U.S. to ensure that WHITES remain the MAJORITY (gyuck).

I could point out how Sorbo, and many of you, are idiots. And I could point it out all day long. But it’s moot; you will lose because of male biology. You Heinrichs will lose because your male young’uns prefer Jessica Alba over - ready for this?

Anne Ramsey from The Goonies and Throw Momma from the Train. A Mayflower descendant of William Brewster, leader of the Plymouth Colony.

The ugliest woman in films was of the supposedly finest DNA.

Your young men will be more attracted to Ana de Armas than Anne Ramsey, and there’s not a fucking thing on earth you can do about it.

You will lose. You are doomed to lose. Loins beat ideology.

I tried to warn you about this kind of thing in a 2021 Takimag column:

Race theory succeeds when it reflects reality. It fails when it tries to supersede reality. I’m reminded of that time when Hitler’s surrogate son Léon Degrelle dared to disagree with his Führer. Hitler had decreed that once Russia was conquered by the Master Race, no German soldier would ever entertain the notion of cavorting with the filthy Slavic babes. But Degrelle was like, “Hey—those chicks are hot. Your racial theorizing cannot overrule the nads of the dudes in uniform.”

But you didn’t listen; you never do.

That’s why you always, eventually, go down in flames.

Not that it’s just about loins; obviously most Mexicans don’t look like Lynda Carter (most humans in general don’t). But your new shtick of “we want a homeland just for us” flies in the face of 1,000 years of white history. Even whites of yore who set off to establish outposts, colonies, and refuges (ironically, often to escape other whites) still insisted on having a cheap labor force to do the menial and unpleasant tasks. So take the factor of attractive muchachas (and muchachos, too. You’ve obviously forgotten my 2021 column in which I pointed out that the reason the Donner Party set out on its journey to L.A. was to find “Spaniard” mates for the spinster womenfolk), combine it with the seemingly inborn desire of whites to be served by lessers, and you guys are so fucking doomed to failure in your “homeland” quest, I hope I live long enough to laugh in your stupid fucking faces.

Not that it’s all bad news, Rosco P. Coltrane. Your younglings will certainly grow in their hatred of Jews, as you continue to push the notion that we’re responsible for everything wrong in your life. Yep, for Jews - your doctors, your research scientists, your lawyers, accountants, and film producers - the future is very bleak. Congrats; we’re toast.

But your kids will not, absolutely not abide by the Kevon Sorbo standard of what’s white. That I guarantee. Hispanics have a good future here. You’ll rid yourself of us pesky cancer-curers, the real cancer-curers unlike your Safford inbreds, but soon enough you’ll be surrounded by Españolos, and it couldn’t happen to nicer Nazis.

Suffer, Siegfried. SSuffer.

Small Endnote

In last week’s piece I wrote about how the book printing company Ingram was apparently refusing to do the second edition of Republican Party Animal. And grease my hide with pigshit, the very day after I posted the piece, Ingram reversed course, and the book is being printed. I’m as shocked as you that my Substack might have had an impact. I never have an impact. Like how also last week I reamed the right for still slavishly and slobberingly fawning over Steve Bannon, a man who admitted to embezzling the “build the wall” fund, a man exposed as Epstein’s best bud and biggest protector. And the day after my essay, CPAC gay sex criminal Matt Schlapp announced the triumphant return of Bannon to the upcoming CPAC conference alongside sex criminal Matt Gaetz and gay groper Benny Johnson.

The conference is going to be held at the Gaylord Resort in Grapevine, Texas.

That’s not a joke.

Gay Republican sex criminals are meeting at the Gaylord.

Remember when conservatives weren’t so laughable?

How do you stand it? You’re worth nothing but ridicule these days. Aren’t you even slightly embarrassed?

Of course you’ll never hold Bannon, Schlapp, Gaetz, or Johnson accountable. But at least I got my book back in print.

I take my victories where and when I can.

See you next week.

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Ready for some follies? I have no idea why the second edition of Republican Party Animal isn’t available yet. I worked through the summer on a new intro, a new chapter about the Holocaust, and a 10,000-word epilogue. Everything was edited by our marvelous in-house editor and our equally marvelous outhouse editor, who spell-checked the scatology. And by November, the book was ready to go! Thanksgiving release, just in time to place under your Christmas tree.

And then, well, something happened. And I don’t know what. Oh, my publisher tries to explain it to me…it’s some company called Ingram that doesn’t seem to want to print the book. At least I think Ingram’s a company. It might also be a green-skinned miserly mountain hermit who’s fiendishly dedicated his life to not publishing me. Think the Grinch but with an oddly specific grudge. Or it may be some kind of alien overlord. I don’t know because I don’t want to know. It’s my publisher’s fight, not mine.

But for whatever reason, EMPEROR INN-GRUMM…

…won’t print the book.

Look, I should be mad. But I’m not. During my seven months at the Beverly Hills hotel last year, I found that my body could no longer tolerate more than one week of drunkardness without rejecting the toxin. Free drinks in the private lounge from 4pm to 6 every day, and I could only make use of it the few weeks my body allowed. Since leaving BH on New Years, we’re now over nine weeks into 2026, and I’ve been able to be drunk for eight of them with no problem. In my old age, these are the things that matter. I know that any day now The Sick may return, and I’ll be forced back to sobriety, and it will suddenly occur to me to be angry that books by the most vile anti-Semitic shitbags are published every day, but I can’t even get a second edition of a proven bestseller.

But why would I want to live in a state of anger? How does that help my blood pressure?

Remember, Bufords, what I fear is a stroke, not liver failure. Drinking doesn’t frighten me; I do it until The Sick tells me to lay off. But hypertensive episodes that give me blinding headaches? That’s what scares me. Because that’s what brings on strokes.

And before you say it, Cletus, the marijuana industry - Big Potfarma - regularly pushes the lie that booze contributes to strokes by raising blood pressure. “So smoke a joint, man, and, like, relax.” But I travel with a BP monitor, and I know that sweet mama booze does not do that to me. Regarding keeping my BP low, alcohol has proven far better than the pills I used to take (the ones that robbed me of my boners). My BP is low when I’m drunk. When The Sick forces me to be sober, it skyrockets.

So anyway, the cacodemon ING-RAM…

…and my publisher are battling it out. Maybe a book will result, maybe not.

Ready for some more follies?

Remember Sarah Rogers, the United States Under Secretary of State for Public Diplomacy and Public Affairs? I wrote about Sarah just two weeks ago, how Trump chose her because his first choice, virulent neo-Nazi Darren Beattie, was not seen as capable of passing Senate approval (to quote Chuck Grassley, “I ain’t no ways no how votin’ to give some Klansman no gosh-dern cushy gubmint jerb, hang-dangit”).

Sarah, someone I’ve known for a few years, was a better choice.

Sarah’s a funny young lady. I mean that in the good way, like, she has a jolly sense of humor. Whereas Darren Beattie’s idea of a joke is, “Why’d the nigger cross the road? Fuck the reason just lynch the monkey,” Sarah has a very smart understanding of the construction and delivery of gags.

She’s good company, fun to hang with.

I don’t really miss my house that much - it had become a burden. But I do miss moments like January 2024, hosting Sarah Rogers and Peter Thiel’s butt-boys at Passage Press as I got drunk on rum with Charlie Kirk’s ghostwriter Blake Neff under the watchful eye of Tucker Carlson’s theological advisor who was Blake’s designated driver. All of this going on in my living room under the scornful gaze of the rats in my attic.

If you haven’t had a day like that, you haven’t lived.

Sarah is very far right, though not in the “publicly announcing that I want to burn crosses” way that Beattie is. Prior to her ascension, she was an in-house attorney for Philip Morris International, where she single-handedly won the iconic case, Cancerboy v. Fuck Your Tumors, Asshole. After Philip Morris, she was an attorney for the NRA, best remembered for winning Ghostkids of Newtown v. NRA. That was the case in which the slain children of Sandy Hook returned to the earthly realm as spirits and sued gun manufacturers for their demise.

Sarah not only wiped the floor with those whiny ventilated toddlers, she won a permanent injunction that dispatched their souls to Hell for eternity.

Tough but fair.

So last week during a House Foreign Affairs Committee hearing, Sarah and Rep. Brian Mast (R-FL) thought they would have some fun together. Mast questioned Sarah about whether her Biden Administration predecessors had tried to “queer the maps” (make maps of the world gay-friendly by marking the best anal intercourse bars), and Sarah, cutup that she is, played along, pretending to defend “map queering” because she “took critical theory in college.”

It was a gag, an attempt at levity, with Sarah using ironic humor and a truly excellent deadpan delivery to have some laughs at the expense of the leftist morons who ran her department under Biden.

Here’s the relevant clip:

Okay, see the problem? Deadpan doesn’t sell with MAGA.

MAGA’s favorite comedian is Rob Schneider. Rob fucking Schneider. And you think you can do subtle humor to these vegetables?

MAGAs saw Sarah’s testimony and assumed that she was genuinely defending “map queering.” And, because MAGAs are intellectually incapable of Googling a name or reading anything longer than a meme, MAGAs decided, based only on their hastily-assembled schizophrenic hallucinations, that Sarah must therefore be a far-left Biden Administration official.

And true hilarity ensued. The mega-MAGA X accounts “Defiant L’s” (1.7m followers), “Thomas Sowell Quotes” (1.4m followers), and the official Joe Rogan Podcast account (1.9m followers) falsely tagged Sarah as a Biden Administration official who was defending “map-queering” because she “took critical theory in college.”

And just like that, poor Sarah became a MAGAMAGAMAGOO ENEMEEEEEEE!

There are 2,000 tweets like this on X - here’s just a few:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you must never empower the stupid. You might think you can control stupidity, but you can’t. The low-IQ are not noble, and their voices do not “deserve to be heard.” They must be quashed. Stomped. Use them, exploit them, sure. But never give them a voice. They will always turn on you, because they are easily confused and immune to reason.

Sarah got one fuck of a lesson in this, as her beloved MAGAs turned on her in a tsunami of tardation. That’s how quick you can go from MAGAMAGAMAGA YAY HOORAY GOODGUY to MAGAMAGAMAGA BOO HISS VILLAIN.

The take-away? Never try nuanced humor when appealing to MAGA. These are single-celled organisms with no discernment. Before you make a joke in their presence, think to yourself, “would Rob Schneider phrase it like that?”

If you’re not sure, just phone him up. Trust me, he always has time for a call.

Dave’s Grouse of the Day

You know what I can’t stand? I have these friends, these rightist friends, and they’re outraged by the fact that there’s been no accountability regarding the Epstein list. “Where are the prosecutions?” they ask. Also, they’re outraged that there’s no border wall. “Why don’t we have a wall yet?” they wail.

Yet they continue to retweet and follow Steve Bannon and his “War Room,” even though Bannon was Epstein’s number-one defender, protector, and apologist, and even though Bannon admitted to embezzling the “build the wall.” fund.

Last week one of those friends retweeted a War Room post about how “War is bad!” It was a banger of a tweet: “You know what I don’t like? WAR! You know what sucks? WAR does!”

This is a sentiment one can find a million times in a million places on X. Why specifically retweet such a cliched notion from Bannon’s organization? Why give him the traffic?

Here’s my point: These friends of mine demand ACCOUNTABILITY regarding Epstein, and ACCOUNTABILITY regarding the absence of a wall. But do they hold Bannon accountable by not helping his X operation grow? You get my point? Right now, depressing X traffic is the worst thing you can do to someone on the right. Prosecuting a guy like Bannon only adds to his fortune; he’ll use it to fundraise. But choking him off from views and shares, that actually does hurt him. And yet you won’t do that, even though he enables Epstein and stole the wall money. You demand accountability, you bitch about accountability, but you won’t hold these people accountable yourselves. So why do you expect anyone else to? You’re delegating a job you could be doing yourself.

It’s literally so fucking easy to just not follow or retweet Bannon and War Room, to not give Bannon oxygen, to do your part to shrink his X presence. But you won’t do it! Easiest fucking thing in the world, but you refuse.

So either quit bitching about “accountability,” or do that one tiny little fucking easy thing and hold Bannon accountable by just not following or retweeting him.

And this goes beyond Bannon. If you follow anyone you consider a bad actor, you have forfeited your right to complain about accountability. We are fortunate, fuckheads: we live in an era in which being traffic-suppressed on X is the worst thing that can happen to a political figure. You have power in your hands unthinkable in previous times. By not clicking follow or retweet, you can punish a bad guy in a manner that truly harms them.

But you won’t. You demand that everyone else should hold your foes accountable, but God forbid you do.

If you follow or retweet anyone you think is a destructive force, you’re the villain.

Dave’s Weekly Baffle

In the ongoing spat between Candace Owens and Jeremy Boreing, which is essentially a fight between ass cancer and explosive diarrhea (both terrible, but only one is fatal), last week I tweeted this:

And Owens liked the comment.

Now, I’ve obviously never followed Owens. I’ve never retweeted Owens. I’ve never linked to Owens. I take my own advice; I don’t give oxygen to the vile.

But somehow Owens saw my tweet and liked it.

Even though I call her evil, and a monster.

Very odd. I genuinely think she’s psychopathic.

Okay, that’s enough for this week. I’m going to try to post every Monday or Tuesday. Unsub now if that displeases you.

And if it pleases you, remember - the tip jar is always there, waiting for you to enter, waiting to enter you. Until next time, try to enjoy the daylight.

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For a while.

Thanks, folks. You’re the best douchebags any author could hope for.

Along with owing you thanks, I certainly owe you content. We’re in a very unique “political landscape” moment right now, and I’m not saying I’m vindicated per se, but let’s just say that I’m suddenly oddly relevant.

How many years have I been warning about Nazi Stew Peters, the insanely popular and bizarrely wealthy Jew-hating podcaster? Oh, I guess five years or so. Peters, who advocates a “final solution” to the American Jewish question by “grabbing a weapon” and “physically fighting” everyday Jews, has been a frequent presence in this column, and my Takimag one.

And how did my high-profile rightist pals respond when I’d write about Peters? “Snore snore snore. Snoozey-snooze-snooze. BOOORRRRRING! Who cares if a violent neo-Nazi is hobnobbing with GOP politicos? Write about something exciting, like how WOKE is BAD and you know what’s dumb? DEI!

Well how the worms do turn. See, we learned last week that a high-profile Democrat (sorry - DEMONRAT!) named Graham Platner is into Stew Peters as well.

And holy fuck now my rightist friends are all “that fuckin’ Nazi Stew Peters! No politician who approves of Stew Peters deserves support. Damn DEMONRATS! They’re the real racists!”

It’s comical, really. A decade of me warning about the Nazification of the right and being told, “aw c’mon Jew, if the occasional GOP flirts with a Nazi, it’s just another glorious example of FREE SPEECH flowing through a newly-widened Overton Window like the majestic scent of fresh-cut grass and dogshit.”

But now that we have a Dem flirting with Nazis, my pals have gone Morgenthau.

“DESTROY ALL NAZIS! BAN THEIR FRIENDS! OSTRACIZE! IMMOBILIZE! VAPORIZE!”

It’s so fucking fake, I can’t even get angry. It’s just laughable.

Platner is running for the Dem nomination for U.S. Senate in America’s least-important, most forgettable state, Maine.

You know your state sucks balls when your most famous resident is a guy who writes crappy horror books, and the fictional town he invented for his literary universe has better name recognition than the state in which he lives.

Now, this Platner’s one fascinating monster. He sports an SS Totenkopf tattoo…

What can I say? The man’s a real charmer.

To be fair, he covered up the tattoo once the public found out about it. But that hasn’t stopped him from appearing on a variety of neo-Nazi podcasts, including one by this turd who thinks Hitler should’ve won WWII:

That’s Nate Cornacchia. Platner appeared on his show and declared that it’s his favorite podcast ever.

And of course Platner retweets Stew Peters. So now every GOP retard is a convert to the David Cole School of Condemning Politicians Who Embrace Stew Peters.

Welcome, assbags. I should charge an entry fee.

If Platner wins the nomination, he’ll be trying to unseat Republican Susan Collins, hardly a far-right favorite, to be sure. But GOPs know they’re going to lose the House in November and they desperately want to keep the Senate. And in Platner, Republicans smell a threat.

And here we get to the meat of the matter. There’s always been a certain level of Jew-hatred among the Dems, but from an anti-Israel perspective. A party brimming with Akbars and Bungas and fat white chicks wailing about “colonizers” will naturally lean pro-Palestinian. But Platner’s different. He’s a Dem who’s trying to muscle in on the far-right’s hatred of domestic Jews. That’s Peters. Peters doesn’t care about Israel; he wants American Jews dead. He thinks we’re living under ZOG, and only via the extermination of U.S. Jews can whites in America be free.

Platner’s not shy about explaining his strategy. He believes that a large number of whites lean toward Nazism. And in Maine - a state that’s 93% non-Hispanic white - he sees benefit in catering to the Nazi demographic. As I said, he’s not shy about saying that his plan is to “steal away” hard-right Republicans in his state. After all, they hate RINO CUCK Collins. How to get them to vote Dem? Be a Dem who may be leftist on most things (Platner calls himself a communist economically), but on THA JEWS, he’s righter n’ David Duke.

Because Platner recognizes that American Nazis don’t give a fuck about economics. Hell, to whatever extent they even understand economics, they likely lean commie anyway. All they care about is KILL THE KIKES! Nazis don’t bother to learn about economics because they adhere to a witchcraftian tenet that if you just kill all the Jews, utopia will magically manifest.

The Bulwark’s Tim Miller said the quiet part loudest when he proclaimed that it’s okay for Platner to be a little “Nazi-ish” (his exact phrase) because “It is absolutely critical that the Democrats figure out how in the fuck to win working-class white people if they ever want to have power or control again.”

BTW, it’s baffling that a state that’s 93% percent pureblood heritage white has accomplished so little. All those geniuses, and Maine is predominantly known for the foliage and lobsters that were already there when the Micmac roamed the land. All that amazing DNA, yet the top industry is waiting for a decapod to crawl inside a cage.

Anyway, there’s Platner, doing all kinds of Nazi stuff, and there’s the right, pretending to suddenly be appalled at politicians who flirt with Nazism, and here’s me, wishing a long suffering painful death on all parties.

But let’s deepdivemaxx into this mess.

I think the most consequential moment for American politics of the past decade was the decision by Jack Dorsey’s Twitter to ban mention of the Hunter Biden laptop story in 2020. Whatever, whoever made the call to ban the NY Post report changed history. I mean, it was a stupid decision, to be sure. But politics is full of stupid decisions that don’t fundamentally alter the nation.

The Twitter banning of the laptop story is one of the prime factors that convinced Elon Musk to buy the platform. Twitter censorship had gone too far (even Dorsey would end up admitting that), and many rightists applauded when the doughy albino South African autist promised in 2022 to make X a bastion of free speech.

But he didn’t really end up doing that. Instead, Musk made X a platform that specifically boosts Nazis and Nazi content.

For example, on August 4, 2023, Stew Peters complained to Musk (via fellow lunatic rightist Matt Wallace) that his tweets weren’t getting “enough” views. He was only getting “1 million impressions” when he felt he deserved “450 million” (“impressions” are the number of times a tweet is displayed to users in their feed).

On August 5th Musk personally responded to Peters that he’s “investigating” why Peters isn’t getting the 450 million impressions he so obviously deserves for saying “kill the Jews.”

According to National File, Alex Jones’ “investigative” website, Musk righted the wrong as promised, and Peters’ content was now foisted upon hundreds of millions of X users per month.

Musk jiggered the algorithm to boost a Nazi. This as Musk continued to retweet Peters, along with a host of other hardcore Nazis. Remember this 2025 piece in which I exposed Elon retweeting an account that says “The Holocaust didn’t happen but it should’ve?” That column is why I ended up quitting Takimag, because after it ran billionaire Taki said “no more criticizing Musk!”

I should also note that after the column ran, Musk retweeted the “Holocaust didn’t happen but it should’ve” guy several more times.

So much for me making a difference.

And you guys wonder why I’m bitter?

Okay, lemme string this together. Dorsey and his underlings make the terrible decision to suppress the Hunter laptop story. MAGAs blame that for Trump’s 2020 loss (oh, wait - no they don’t, because they claim Trump actually won 2020! Except when they criticize Dorsey’s decision, in which case Trump lost because of Twitter chicanery. Trump both won and lost 2020. This is real quantum stuff from MAGA - Schrödinger's cunts).

So Elon buys Twitter and uses it to ensure that a guy like Stew Peters can get 450 million impressions per month. Meanwhile, other Nazis also get boosted in the algorithm. And before you know it, it really does seem to appear as if all of “white working class America” is Nazi. This leads to GOPs going Nazi, and now a “Democrat for the working man” is doing it too. And the likely GOP presidential nominee in 2028, JD “Kallikak” Vance, cozies up to the Nazis and quite literally says (while defending Nick Fuentes) that we must platform Nazis in order to learn why they’re so popular!

But what if they’re not popular? What if Musk’s algorithm is giving us a skewed perspective? I’ve written tirelessly about how every pro-Peters GOP has been slaughtered at the ballot box. Where is the objective, verifiable evidence that Nazism is a winning tactic? What if it really is just Musk and his algorithm?

Well don’t expect the media to address that. Don’t expect anyone to mention the fact that Musk promised Stew Peters 450 million impressions a month. “America is Nazi” has become a fad like “50% of all youth are trannies;” people are just accepting it, uncritically. But unlike the tranny mass-hallucination, this one is being embraced by left and right.

It’s gonna end in disaster. Just as the tranny mass hysteria has led to one deluded tranny mass shooter after another, the Nazi hysteria is going to cost lives, as emboldened faux fuhrers feel entitled to mow down Jews and other nonwhites who dare stand in the way of the “majority.”

In 2024 at Taki’s, I wrote about how one of Musk’s fan accounts, the “Gentile News Network,” claimed that Nazism on X is organic:

Vance and Platner agree with that. Though on opposite sides of the aisle, they’ve both stated that it’s important to engage the Nazi demographic because it’s now a dominant, viable, influential voter group.

Again, there’s zero proof of this beyond what’s on X.

This is Musk creating a reality.

Not that this fake reality can’t become real reality. Rightists can’t play dumb on this one (though they’ll try). For ten years rightist - including Musk specifically - have claimed that repeated exposure to tranny propaganda in schools and the media “brainwashed” millions of kids into thinking that men can become women and “baby souls get dropped into the wrong bodies.” Rightists cede that repeated messaging can cause young people to accept the craziest of premises. So when Elon creates his reality by boosting Nazi propaganda 24/7, he knows what that will lead to (never forget that Elon’s granddad was a doctrinaire Nazi; this shit ain’t comin’ outta nowhere).

Lemme conclude with a story. 1994 was a bad year for Ted Koppel’s Nightline. A former late-night juggernaut, Nightline was on the ropes. 1994 was the year when all eyes were on Leno vs. Letterman. The audience tug-o-war between Lantern Jaw and Gaptooth sapped all of Arsenio Hall’s audience; on May 27th, ‘94, Arsenio whooped his last whoop.

Over at ABC, execs were sweating bullets that Nightline’s ratings would continue to plummet. And for the Nightline producers, their fear was that those plummeting ratings would prompt the network to abandon Koppel’s news show for something more celebrity entertainment-oriented.

Nightline started 1995 with great unease.

But then on April 19th, 1995, two of your beloved Nazis bombed the Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City, killing 168 Americans in the name of the “patriotical American Nazism” you seem to love these days.

The OKC bombing was unlike anything America had ever seen. And initially it boosted the hell out of Nightline’s ratings. Nightline triumphed over the competition in the week following the atrocity. That’s understandable. 168 Americans dead via homegrown terrorists; dozens of children burned and crushed to death in the Murrah daycare center. Who wanted to hear jokes about Bill Clinton and Newt Gingrich? Humor seemed inappropriate for the moment.

Babies - white babies (not that it makes a difference to me, but I know it does to some of you) - murdered by two sieg heilers.

Well, Koppel and his producers didn’t just see a tragedy; they saw ratings. They saw a way to solidify a permanent lead over Leno and Letterman. But the thing is, you can only cover the rubble and the bereaved for just so long. As with 9/11, eventually viewers will tire of the same content.

So Koppel and his producers had an idea: Koppel told TV Guide that the OKC bombing made him realize that the Nazi militia movement was widespread in Middle America, and maybe those poor oppressed patriotical sweethearts just needed to be heard! Maybe if we just gave them a platform, they’d stop killing us.

So in the last week of April, Koppel held a “townhall” in Sanilac County, Michigan (where the OKC bombers planned their attack), and it was an ass-kiss fest to be sure, with Koppel uncritically airing of grievances of a bunch of Nazi shitstains.

Funny enough, though, some locals from Sanilac claimed that many of the sieg heilers on the show were not locals. Turns out Nightline had trucked in attention-seeking outsiders to create the false reality that the Nazi militia thing was a widespread, organic phenomenon.

We can speculate about Koppel’s motives. November the previous year the GOP had retaken the House in a massive rout, and Speaker Gingrich was beating the drum against “liburrell bias” in the media. Maybe Koppel wanted to suck up by play-acting the role of “I’m so objective I’ll even give a fair hearing to Nazis.”

Maybe Koppel believed his own lies that the Nazi militias were widespread and organic. Maybe he figured that this was an audience unlikely to watch Leno or Letterman, so if he could capture it, he could retain his late-night lead even after the initial interest in the bombing faded.

I don’t know; as I said, I’m speculating.

But here’s the part that’s not speculation: yes, the Sanilac town hall scored big ratings. Yes, Nightline had a massively dominant first week in May, besting every other show in its timeslot. But no, the Nazi militia movement was neither large nor organic. It was comprised of a small number of terrorists who were soon wiped out by the FBI, and nightline faded back into ratings third place because whether Koppel’s shtick was “look how fair-minded I am” or “hey, this Nazi militia things is the wave of the future; I want in,” it didn’t work. Pandering to the Nazis, as Koppel did at that townhall, helped for a week or so, then it didn’t help at all, ever again.

Because “the movement” was small and the hype was artificial.

The 1990s Nazi militia movement, which was always niche, died out, as it should’ve. But imagine if the Internet existed back then, and if social media existed back then, and if the top social media platform was controlled by the world’s wealthiest man who decided to devote his fortune to keeping the Nazi militia movement alive and growing by artificially inflating its presence to the extent that politicians from both parties began catering to the specter?

Ah-ha-hah, you see where I’m going with this. Elon Musk is doing everything he can to outsize the influence of American Nazis. That Graham Platner is now on-board along with the GOPs who’ve fallen for the ruse demonstrates that the ruse is working all-too-well.

Musk will likely go down in history as one of the most destructive forces in American politics.

Why couldn’t you have just allowed the Biden laptop story, Dorsey you malignant tumor?

You bearded retard…we’re all gonna pay for your mistake.

Okay, that was my substantive content. Here’s an extra, with “no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.”

There’s a part of me that blames all this bullshit on Sandra Bullock.

Yes, America’s lil’ button-nosed sweetheart. In reality, America’s Ilse of the SS.

Hear me out.

In Hollywood, sometimes the beautiful shiksa actress marries Brick Handsomann, who provides her with everything except his T-cells because AIDS has first dibs on those.

Those sham marriages are pretty to look at, to be sure. But not as fulfilling for the shiksa because she has to share her hunk with an entire bathhouse.

The better coupling is shiksa and wealthy Jew.

Like Spielberg and Capshaw - 35 years strong.

Thinking of a few other examples from my youth, Lynda Carter, terrible actress but no Wonder Woman was ever hotter, gave up acting to marry Robert A. Altman, a corrupt Jewish lawyer and D.C. insider. And they loved each other; Carter stood by him through his indictments, because he was good to her. They were married in 1984, and it lasted until 2021 when Altman found out the hard way that myelofibrosis can’t be bribed.

Cindy Harrell was my teenage crush. A perfect redhead bim. You won’t know her; maybe from the Ghostbusters music video, her only high-profile gig.

Following that success, she did a few cheapo horror films until she realized “Holy fuck I’m a beautiful shiksa; I can just marry a Jew and never work again!” So she hooked up with media mogul Alan Horn, and they’re still together to this day.

Horn is a tiny curly-haired Jew, just like me. Oh what might have been had I not been so young!

I look at pix of Cindy in her prime, and I sing to myself,

Woulda liked to know you,
But I was just a kid.
Your candle burned out all because,
You married a wealthy Yid.

Sharon Stone married media exec Phil Bronstein in 1998. That marriage ended after Stone asked her hubby to walk barefoot through a Komodo dragon compound, which he did, and he got his foot bit off (true story). That right there is why shiksas prefer Jews. You ask your wealthy nebbish husband “honey, would you walk barefoot through Komodo dragons for me,” and he’ll say “oy, oy, anything for you, my beloved honey-bun.”

Try asking a redneck to do that; the shiksa will end up with a jaw more detached than the reptile’s.

Bottom line, this is how it has always been and always should be: beautiful shiksa actresses either marry a handsome gaygoy, or a straight wealthy Jew.

But Sandra Bullock just had to fuck up nature’s perfect balance. In 2005, at the height of her star power, she decided to marry a Nazi-worshipping greasemonkey named Jesse James (“How cool! You’re like an OUTLAW!”). James, who’d achieved a measure of fame by revving motorcycles (a skill reserved for such upper-echelon beings as methed-out fat guys and Clint Eastwood’s orangutan), was exposed in 2004 as having a Nazi fetish. And in 2005 Bullock was like “you’ve goose-stepped into my heart.”

Eschewing the handsome gay guy and the kindly kike?

For a Nazi?

You have meddled with the primal forces of nature, Ms. Bullock.

I think this was the modern-age moment when the door was opened for American Nazis. Sandra motherfucking Bullock marries one of them. It was the first major lessening of the taboo. Because it was Bullock, purity personified, wholesomeness made manifest. Not Lohan or Spears or Heche or Locklear, not a Love or a Murphy or a Smith, not any of the “troubled” ones, but Bullock - America’s sweetheart. If she could embrace a Nazi, maybe we all can. If she finds Nazism aesthetically-pleasing, maybe it is.

I think that’s the true starting point for our tragic end. Bullock liked sucking off swastika-tattooed dicks, and she ended up mainstreaming the practice. And now a Nazi can run for president, or run for Senate, or run X.

Keep in mind that Jesse James ended up being a horrible husband, cheating on Bullock and dragging her from one tabloid scandal to another. She left him in 2010.

She thought Nazism was cool, but it burned her.

With primary season upon us, as you consider whether to vote for the (D) or (R) Nazi on your ballot, do try to remember that much.

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In my last piece, I proffered a simple deal: If I can raise a meager $1,000 by March 1st, I stay and keep writing. If not, I skedaddle. Well, we haven’t quite made it. But I don’t want to be fatalistic about this…yet. Let’s see how the next two days play out.

May I remind you of a few things?

Who warned you asscracks about Steve Bannon in 2020? Before he pleaded guilty to embezzling the “Build the Wall” fund, and before he was exposed as Epstein’s bestest chum?

Who said, “this guy is a serial fabricator, a tool of corrupt Chinese billionaires, and an enemy of Americans?” Who literally had a piece at the top of Drudge in April 2020 warning y’all about Bannon?

Who did that? Was it Don Knotts? Robbie Knievel? Nick Reiner? Scritti Politti?

No, it was ME, fuckheads.

And who did Steve Bannon try to get FIRED for blowing the whistle on him?

Remember that, Rain Men? Remember in 2020 when Bannon tried to get me fired for warning the right about his antics? How he defamed me as a “Holocaust denier” and called on Taki to fire me?

So much for MAGA opposition to “cancel culture!” With the estimable exception of Ann Coulter, not one single rightist publicly stood up for me. Even my closest friends wouldn’t publicly stand with me. A few DM’d me privately to say “I support you! (Pause) Of course you’ll have the good taste not to mention that I spoke to you.” Meanwhile, you kept funneling money to Bannon and his house Akbar, the self-proclaimed “Muslim incel” Raheem Kassem, who also called me a denier (when Raheem dies, he’ll only get 71 virgins, because he’s the 72nd).

You kept supporting Bannon, a guy who stole from you, called for the cancelation of his foes, and helped a pedo be a pedo.

But you can’t muster $1,000 for me, the guy who tried to warn you?

Well that’s just sad.

And then there’s the unapologetic white supremacist Darren Beattie. A year ago Trump appointed him Under Secretary of State for Public Diplomacy and Public Affairs (Nazis make great diplomats; von Ribbentrop will always be remembered as a peacemaker). But since it was determined that his core principle - “Competent white men must be in charge if you want things to work” (his exact quote) - would be a stumbling block to Senate approval, Trump instead nominated Sarah Rogers for the post (she was confirmed). Beattie was given the post of “Assistant Secretary of State for Educational and Cultural Affairs,” a position that requires no Congressional approval because it’s barenaked bollocks.

When I attempted to warn the GOP about the dangers of Beattie’s racial hatred and how his rhetoric would prove toxic at the ballot box (which it has), his response was not to defend his views, but to attack my looks:

I know that Cole’s ideas are just very dumb. He’s just an ugly dumb guy and I think he has a problem with drinking but I can’t say that for a fact but, just a trash individual. A petty soul, who will never be…you know, it’s just a petty soul.

You know how many of my public-figure friends stood up for me against Beattie’s invective?

Try zero. Not a one of you.

Sarah Rogers knows me. She’s been to my house (back when I had one). She’s requested meetings with me. But do you think she publicly defended me? No, and I didn’t ask her to, because such matters are hers to choose not mine to force.

When Tucker Carlson called me a “Holocaust denier” and told me to “fuck off” when I questioned him about his tacit support of Candace Owens’ “Jews ritually slaughter Christians on Passover” claim, there was one guy - a good friend of mine - who could’ve proved that Tucker was lying by exposing past conversations with Carlson in which he stated that I’m not a Holocaust denier and that my views on history are more reliable than the actual deniers (Fuentes, Cooper) he’s boosted on his show. But did my friend publicly stand with me? Of course not; he didn’t want to anger Carlson.

Did that cause me to cut off the friendship? Certainly not. Such matters are his to choose, not mine to force.

BTW, the tale of how Tucker coerces people who appear on his “show” is a fascinating one. Last year rumor spread that Tuck has his guests sign non-disparagement agreements. This rumor was widespread among thoughtful conservatives, but it was inaccurate. The rumor arose because Tuck’s guests, especially the unknowns or near-unknowns he hosts, refuse to say a bad word about him no matter how batshit he becomes. The adversarial interviews Tuck conducts with mainstream figures (Sam Altman, Ted Cruz, Mike Huckabee) are never done at Tuck’s hundred-million-dollar Maine compound (complete with TV studio and a barn restaurant with 5-star chefs). But the unknowns and semi-knows are always flown to the compound. And they come back too intimidated say a word against Reverend Moon (sorry, I mean Tucker).

There’s a story here, and one I can’t tell, about Tuck’s “grooming” skills, his ability to collect zombies. He’s Dahmer, if Dahmer’s power fetish was minus the amateur lobotomies and anal rape.

Standard dumbass rightists look at Tucker hosting barely-knowns and say, “that Tucker - what a PATRIOT! He’s introducing America to the people the mainstream media ignores.” And as always, the standard dumbass rightists are wrong. L. Ron Tuckered favors people he can control.

Anyway, you got two days regarding the grand. So let’s see how it goes.

BTW, since I’m liquored up and writing, here’s something that needs to be said. There’s a dishonesty (one of many) on the right that bugs me to no end, because it’s a dishonesty disguised as BASED BRAVERY. When Beattie says “Competent white men must be in charge,” and when Musk says “If White men become a minority, we will be slaughtered. Remember, if non-Whites openly hate White men while White men hold a collective majority, then they will be 1000x times more hostile and cruel when they are a majority over Whites. White solidarity is the only way to survive,” you know damn well that both guys are specifically talking about blacks. Beattie doesn’t believe that the Chinese are “not competent,” or that the Japs and Koreans and Singaporeans are “not competent.” He doesn’t think the Qataris are “not competent” or that El Salvador's Bukele is “not competent.”

If he were honest, he’d say what he means: “Blacks must not be in charge.”

Musk doesn’t believe that “nonwhites” will slaughter him. He absolutely doesn’t believe that the Indian techs he imports with H-1Bs are gonna slaughter him, or else surely he wouldn’t be importing them. He sure as shit doesn’t think the Chinese or Japs or Koreans are gonna slaughter him, or that the Qataris or UAEs are gonna slaughter him. As a product of Africa, Musk means blacks. Musk, a Holocaust denier whose knowledge of history is limited in scope to his own experiences, only thinks in terms of Rhodesia and post-Mandela SA. Indeed, the guy Musk retweeted to support the “all nonwhites will slaughter us” point specifically stated that his claim only applies to “niggaboos.”

Irvine, California, is consistently ranked as the safest, lowest-crime city in the U.S. with a population above 250,000. And Irvine is 45% Asian (the largest plurality; whites are only 34%), and 55% (a majority) if you count mixed-race Asians. And not only are no whites being slaughtered, nobody’s being slaughtered.

You know this; you know that whites will not be “slaughtered by nonwhites.” You can complain all you want about whites “losing jobs” to Asian Subcontinentals and Pacifics - “DEY TOOK MAH JERB!” - but Asians are not killing you. Indeed, they have the lowest crime rate of every demographic except that other one you despise, the Ashkenazim.

But you people are such cowards, you can’t say what you’re really thinking - that it’s blacks you fear will run things incompetently, and blacks you fear will slaughter you. Your minds are so feeble, you can’t reconcile two contradictory impulses: the belief that blacks represent the most dangerous minority (in terms of competence and crime), and the desire to appear cool by being liked by blacks.

So your Kallikak minds gyuck-gyuck a compromise: you hide your feelings about blacks by covering them in vague generalized attacks on “nonwhites.” That way you can assure Nicki Minaj, “Oh no, we don’t mean you. We’re saying all nonwhites are incompetents who’ll slaughter us! Don’t take it personally, like we’re singling out blacks as genetic filth. We’re even including the Japanese, and they have really high IQs! You’re in good company, babe. So don’t take offense; indeed, be proud!”

You cheer Musk and Beattie - indeed, you admire them - for going after “niggaboos” without explicitly stating that they’re going after “niggaboos.” You think that makes them sly, like secret agents. Code-talkers! And you have the decryption ring!

If you’re not pretending to be sleuths, you’re pretending to be spies. And failing badly at both impersonations.

Your childish grins are cover for the thing that torments you in those moments when the play-acting fades and your schizophrenia fails and you have to confront the reality you so feverishly try to avoid: the demographic you’re truly worried about has every right to be here. Screaming “send ‘em back! They aren’t HERITAGE” doesn’t apply to American blacks. Even if you sent every bean back to Meh-hee-co and every kike back to Yis-roh-ale, you’d still have blacks, and there’s not a fucking thing you or MAGA or Trump or Miller can do about it, you cunts.

You will never get the white utopia you seek. And deep down, you know it. So you act out, expressing your hatred by proxy by attacking generalized “nonwhites.” So no, you’re not “based.” You’re not “brave.” You’re sniveling cowards.

Wait, the right has sniveling cowards? Well knock me over with a feather!

You know the really funny thing? If you kicked out the kikes and the beans and the jub-jubs and the chins, nips, and kimchis, and if you went back to pre-Hart/Celler rules that favored Western/Northern European immigrants, you’d end up importing the most leftist fuckers alive. Especially when it comes to “racial empathy” and soft-on-crime.

In Norway, no criminal can draw more than 21 years. Anders Breivik, who slaughtered 77 people, most of them children, because he didn’t like their parents’ politics, couldn’t get more than 21 years. And that’s 21 years in a veritable country club with a personal computer, “gambling nights” where he can play cards with other inmates, and a personal Xbox. And still in 2016 the European Court of Human Rights called his conditions “inhumane.”

So your grand plan, oh grand geniuses, knowing that you can never get rid of blacks, is to import the most soft-on-crime assholes on planet earth, who will surely make every prison door a revolving one and every Willie a Horton.

An L.A. made up of Scandinavians would’ve never allowed “black L.A.” to dissolve. No; white Angelenos would’ve been taxed 90% of their income to artificially preserve the ghettos of Watts and Compton. Life imprisonment (not to mention the death penalty) would’ve been abolished, so our most infamous black mass-murderers - Kevin Cooper, the Grim Sleeper, the Bob’s Big Boy slaughterers - would’ve been out in a flash, killing again.

Oh you wonderful geniuses you!

Hate Mexicans all you want but they’re way better than Scandinavians when it comes to law & order. Hell, it was two bean ICEs that iced Alex Pretti! I doubt Gørgen Sven Mørgångørgen would’ve so valiantly or ruthlessly served Obersturmbannführer Bovino’s murderous directives.

This is one of the reasons the right acts out, one of the reasons you’ve so taken to Jew-hatred: you’re rapists who’ve been castrated; physically impotent yet still mentally horny. You’ve no dick to jerk, but you still have the urges, so you show your perversion in other ways. “We’ll get you, JEWS!” “Take that, Mexican lettuce pickers!” “Fuck you, Hindus who can code.” All because you know that you’ll forever have to live with the one group that truly troubles you. And yet you can’t say it, you can’t speak it aloud, lest you lose your “cool cred” and alienate Nicki Minaj’s bulbous ass.

Why do you think your beloved MAGA soopersleuths Nick Shirley and Tyler Oliveira have now declared Jews to be “invaders?” More to the point, at his SOTU, why did Trump outright lie that Iryna Zarutska’s killer Decarlos Brown Jr. is an “open borders” illegal alien? Brown is an American black born in Charlotte (a city that’s 34% black).

Why’d Trump lie? Because A) the cred credo - don’t alienate your cool black friends! And B), as there’s no way to get rid of American blacks, the MAGA god-king must deflect everything to the border, to give his cult hope for a final solution!

Gotta keep up that morale! It’s a midterm year, so remember the rules: “Sieg heil” is fine, but “lynch niggaboos” is not.

Many of you dickless wonders end up going full schizo out of sheer frustration. In 2023 at Takimag I wrote about “Spencer Quinn,” a Nazi at Counter-Currents and Unz who claims that as long as we get rid of Jews, blacks will simply go back to being okay with segregation:

Without Jews, Right and Left would be in balance, and we would still be arguing over how to better implement “separate but equal” in Negro schools.

What do you call that if not insanity? Get rid of Jews, and blacks will stop wanting full and equal participatory access to society. Meanwhile when you ask these “import Scandinavians” rightists how they’ll handle an influx of college-educated white women - the most slavishly leftist demographic this side of blacks - they’ll just say “no prob; we’ll abolish the 19th Amendment!”

Exterminate Jews and blacks will be happy to be slaves again. And then 51% of Americans will vote to disenfranchise themselves because they have tits. This is what you support. Not me and my sanity, but them and their lunacy.

The current right is damaged beyond repair by a cancerous rot of hate, sadism, and cultishness. But is does fascinate me that there’s still one line you won’t cross. You’ll say “WHITE POWER!” as Musk and Beattie do. You’ll say “gas the kikes!” (an actual quote from a Nazi repeatedly retweeted by Musk), you’ll say “put the bitches barefoot and back in the kitchen,” and you’ll say “kick the beaner kids into the Rio Grande and let ‘em drown.”

But you won’t say “lynch the niggers.”

Whatever the reasons - 30 years of GOPs saying “the Democrats are the real racists,” the overall tendency of whites to define their coolness via black approval, or a realization, even if subconsciously, that while you can bury yourself in racist fantasies of beans being shipped home to Mexico and Jews being expelled to wherever, you’re stuck with blacks, and no amount of lynching will change that - the refusal to fully unleash your hate on blacks as nakedly as you do other groups is the last bit of decency inside you, the last part of your humanity you haven’t handed over to the cult.

Try to hold onto that, okay?

When MAGA gets slaughtered in the midterms, Devil gon’ whisper in your ear to surrender the rest of your decency, to respond to defeat with more hatred instead of less. You’re gonna be told you lost because you weren’t Nazi enough. You’re gonna be told to go full KKKlantard.

That be Debil fuckin’ with ya. Debil do dat from time to time.

Try to reject the Devil’s advice, okay?

And that’s my final advice.

For now…or for good?

We’ll see. Two days left, buckeroos.

Buy Me a Beer, GiveSendGo, PayPal.

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But first, some updates.

My house finally got torn down. Rubble, a vacant lot. If a few rats perished in the demolition, wonderful; I hope it was painful.

Casa Cole at the start of January:

Casa Cole at the end of January:

Damnedest thing…the builder sat on the lot for seven months before finally pulling it…

- cut to 9/11 truther: “They pulled it they pulled it they pulled it they pulled it SILVERSTEIN!” -

…and then in just two days his crew brought the whole thing down and hauled away the remnants.

Fucking lazy Mexicans. Norwegian workers could’ve done it in one.

So I made the decision to leave my beloved Beverly Hills forever. I exit with my house.

Indeed, I am gone from the L.A. Westside entirely.

I’d love to say where I’ve moved, to entertain you with my wacky exploits, but I can’t. Back in June I posted a photo of the beautiful view from the top-floor BH hotel room I was living in, and one of you lovelies geo-tracked the location and publicly named not only the hotel but the floor and likely room number. And of course the self-described Groyper stalker posted that info publicly.

I got it taken down wherever I could, and no inconvenience resulted. To be clear, I don’t fear Groypers. After dealing with real rats, human rats don’t scare me. What I feared was one of your beloved “citizen journalist” retards showing up and pestering the desk staff, sticking cameras in their faces, harassing them. Which would’ve made my stay uncomfortable because I really liked the staff and I’d have checked out to avoid causing them grief.

So as much as I’d love to share my new adventures, I can’t trust you folks anymore with that kind of info. Pity; I’m enjoying my new digs. Maybe too much. I needed a break; your idiocies were getting a bit much for me. On X, nothing but Nazis and Holocaust denies retweeted by Musk when they post clips of my 1992 videos and TV appearances. And on Facebook, nothing but MAGA Boomers cheering the conquest of Greenland and the murder of Americans who protest ICE and attributing all GOP losses to “vote fraud.”

X and Facebook: A Scylla and Charybdis of Rain Men.

The recent special election for Texas State Senate was very much a coming together of the GOP’s dueling monsters. Texas Senate District 9 was a GOP stronghold. Deep red; Trump won it by 17 points in November. Indeed, SD-9 hadn’t gone Dem in half a century.

I know you guys are intellectually challenged, so I’ll put a fine point on the pinhead: Tarrant County in SD-9 is the largest red county in the nation.

It should’ve been an easy win for the GOP, but Republican Leigh Wambsganss found a way to lose. With the backing of President Trump and Steve “I embezzled from MAGA and got a pardon” Bannon, and with the support of Nick Fuentes and Jack Posobiec, Wambsganss lost this deep red district by 14 points. To a Dem union organizer. Even thought the Dems were outspent three-to-one.

At the same time, during that same weekend, Boomer MAGAs were celebrating the “victory” that the Melanoma Trump “documentary,” which cost $75 million to make, had been projected to earn a meager $5 million, but took in $7 million instead, making it a “hit!” All over Facebook, MAGAbooms were like “it’s the greatest victory ever! MAGAMAGAMAGOOOOOOOOOOO!”

See the synergy? Groypers tank an easily-winnable Texas election, and MAGA Boomers deflect from the defeat by celebrating a win that was actually a loss, thus ensuring that nobody will study the loss that should’ve been a win.

You will be slaughtered in November. And I will cherish your agonized wailing. The wailing of scumbags who ignored warnings, and, lacking the IQ to process events, will be eminently confused as to the reason for their plight. Rats are smarter than you. If there’s one thing I learned in my final months in my house, it’s that rats are your intellectual superiors. There was no trap I set that they didn’t outsmart, no move I made that they didn’t outmaneuver. Meanwhile you skidmarks are walking right into your own destruction, right into the traps that will forever cripple you god-king’s agenda.

I warned you shitbags. Time and again, I warned you against embracing the ugly racial hatred of the Groypers and the dementia-infused magical thinking and rejection of reality of the MAGAbooms.

While Democrats were busy winning a GOP stronghold in an actual election (and TWO special elections since), you useless eaters were concocting stories about how Ilhan Omar engaged in a conspiracy to squirt herself with vinegar even though the actual squirter is a longtime MAGAMAGOO who routinely posts about how he hates “niggers.”

But nooooo, a mentally-ill Groyper couldn’t possibly have done something stupid like spraying a U.S. congresswoman with stink juice. So the Omar squirting was a FALSE FLAG! And the Texas defeat is VOTE FRAUD!

You people need to be defeated. Not because I’ve turned lefty, which I haven’t. But the right has a sickness. If you desire to excise a cancer from a body, that doesn’t mean you hate the body. It actually means you like the body and want it to survive. This simple truth would be obvious to most humans. But it’s lost on Groypers and MAGAbooms, the right’s cancers.

Okay, okay, I’m not plowing new yeast infections here. You guys know that I’m not a fan of Groypers or magical thinking BoomerMAGs. So what’s changed to get me to the point where I don’t even want to promote my book anymore?

Well, it’s you. I mean you, my regular readers. The ones who pay the horribly expensive $10 a year to use the comments section ($10 a year…what a greedy bastard I am. Typical Jew). I always counted on you guys, small in numbers though you are, to be sane. To be the people I can write to.

Writers have to think we’re writing for someone. Otherwise what’s the point?

Now, you assholes totally killed my last post, the one about movies. It ate more shit than Nick Fuentes at a communal toilet; my lowest engagement ever. So no more movies; you’ve murdered that dream. But I will use a theatrical play to illustrate my point. In John Guare’s 1971 House of Blue Leaves, a frustrated middle-aged musician named Artie Shaughnessy hopes that his childhood friend Billy Einhorn, a mega-successful Hollywood producer, will bring him into the biz. Artie’s pinned all his hopes on his buddy saving him from his soul-killing existence in Sunnyside, Queens.

But Billy (played by Christopher Walken in the 1986 off-Broadway revival) crushes Artie’s dream.

Billy: Artie, can I tell you a secret? You know who I make my pictures for? Money? Nah. Prestige? Nah. I make ‘em for you. I sit on the set and, before every scene, I say “Would this make Artie laugh? Would this make Artie cry?”

Artie: I could come on the set and tell ya personal!

Billy: Ah no, Artie. If I ever thought you weren’t here in Sunnyside, seein’ my work, lovin’ my work, I could never work again. You know what the greatest talent in the world is? To be an audience. Anybody can create, but to be an audience…

(pause)

Be an audience.

Guare (author of Six Degrees of Separation) highlights an oft-ignored insight into the mind of a writer: the need to be speaking to someone. Writers, more so than filmmakers or musicians, are forced to visualize their audience from afar. A movie producer can sit in on a screening and hear the applause. Musicians and stage actors hear the applause nightly. But us writers, we have to imagine the reception. It’s not like we can prowl around at 2am like a perv and peep into the windows of everyone who reads our essays as we slap our dicks in pleasure.

But enough about Andrew Klavan.

In my case, considering the rather extreme level of hatred I hold for much of my readership, I’ve been able to keep going because you regular readers seemed to be okay chaps.

But then everything changed. Last month I excoriated Musk for calling for “white solidarity” to fight the “cruel, sadistic nonwhites” who will “slaughter us all” if they achieve majority status. And I asked a simple question: what is “white solidarity?” How does it differ from white voters supporting closed borders and opposing anti-white race-based Affirmative Action, which is already the case? What is Musk calling for that we already don’t have?

And two boobs in the comments section answered that question in the most retarded ways possible, and you - my regular readers - praised them. You, the people I write for, my Artie Shaughnessys - declared those twin boobs to be the finest geniuses in human history.

And just like that, the wind was taken outta my sails.

So while I normally say, “when I call you people shitstains and retards, I’m not actually talking to you, my regular readers,” this time, yes, I’m talking to you.

Let’s try to learn something, brain-damaged children, by examining the two reader comments you so loved. Here was the first comment, which accumulated a large number of likes and complimentary replies from you twats (I’m not gonna bother to clean it up or add “sic”):

I can think of a lot of simple things to do with practical “White solidarity “

don t go along with funding $ trillions for White brother wars - the latest is Ukraine vs Russia .

The usual suspects trot out the usual lying war propaganda that the leader of the country the Neo Cons /military Industrial complex wants to go to war with is

“ He s Hitler , The Russians ( Syrians , Serbs , Iraqis ) are all Nazis.

“Putin , Assad ( very handsome White guy as was his pretty White wife ), Saddam were all Hitler . We have to fight another Axis of Evil “ blah blah

You loved that comment; it got more play than my post.

Okay, tards: Russia/Ukraine is not a “brother war.” One evil man - Putin - brought large-scale mass-casualty ground war back to Europe on a level not seen since WWII, for the sole purpose of eliminating a neighboring nation he doesn’t like. It’s not a “brother war,” it’s Putin’s war, one man’s war, and to speak of it like the Civil War (“a tragedy forced by circumstances”) or WWI (“common Europeans pitted against each other by an uncaring network of incestuous continental potentates”) is to separate yourself from reality, which, to be fair, is your favorite pastime.

Worse still, your beloved idiot commenter actually inverts the truth. Playing to your most low-IQ tendencies, he feeds you the cliche (a cliche you eat like sugar) that it’s the U.S., or the JOOOOS, or the “neocons” who are the ones rolling out the “he’s Hitler” template by labeling poor innocent Putin as Hitler.

In reality (that thing you so despise), it’s Putin who played the Hitler card, declaring that the invasion was necessary because the Ukrainians are Nazis. That’s word-for-word what he told Tucker Carlson in 2024. Putin’s the one playing the Hitler card, and he’s done so in order to engineer the death of nearly two million Europeans.

Isn’t that amazing? Don’t you marvel at how stupid you are? Putin plays the Nazi card to decimate millions of whites, but you cheer a bewb who claims we’re the ones playing the Nazi card, and it all comes down to the fact that Putin once took a shirtless photo that became a meme for you to masturbate to.

The wrong people are dying here. Oh how I wish it were you instead of innocent Ukrainian kids.

Now on to Retarded Commenter #2. This guy you didn’t flood with likes; rather, you flooded him with replies praising his BRILLIANCE and EXCELLENCE.

Retarded Commenter #2, also attempting to reply to my “white solidarity” question, began by posting a video in which ADL chieftain Jonathan Greenblatt declares:

“Our core purpose has never changed. Our core purpose is really, really simple: It is to protect the Jewish people. And so I don’t care if you’re secular or observant. I don’t care if you vote Republican or Democrat. I don’t care whether you keep kosher of you don’t know what that even means. I don’t care if you live in the, you know, Upper Eastside, or, like, lower Patagonia, or the Middle East or wherever.”

So Retarded Commenter #2 posts that video, then defiantly states:

Is that so different from what Jared Taylor advocates on the issue of white racial consciousness? I recall you mentioning on TakiMag that you’re friendly with Taylor. If all the Jewish groups and all the black groups and all the Hispanic groups and all the middle Eastern groups and all the Asian groups can have their race-based groups (in our fucking country!) then we can do it too. There are countless advocacy organizations for all of those races - did you ask them what black/jewish/hispanic/Asian solidarity is? Did you or anyone else express outrage at the antiwhite racial hatred that has become commonplace (and not just on Twitter)? You made perfunctory allusions to it here and there on Takimag, which was great, thank you. But one key component of white solidarity would be imposing serious legal consequences on anyone engaging in antiwhite racial slander - just as the ADL is doing to anyone engaged in anti-Jewish and even anti-Israel activism. whites have every right to organize as a group and advance their own interests, which in my view have been trampled on.

And you tumors declared that to be the most brilliant comment of all time.

So let’s break it down, you AIDS carcasses.

Retard Commenter is saying that he, as a WHITE, wants what Greenblatt has.

Well, fucking idiots, you already have it. And you reject it.

Greenblatt makes it clear that he’s fighting for all Jews, regardless of national origin, race, or level of religious commitment.

BTW, and this will sail right over your dented craniums because you’ve been raised by the Protocols to see all pronouncements by a Jew as a manifesto, in fact Greenblatt’s not making a timeless statement; rather, he’s trying to retreat from the disastrous policy that completely neutered the ADL, the policy of expanding “hate speech” from actual hate speech (“kill the kikes; lynch the nigras”) to advocacy of closed borders and opposition to tranny ideology.

The ADL strayed from its mandate, and paid a steep price.

That policy shift, intended to make the ADL more “relevant” in the years prior to actual Nazis taking over X, destroyed the ADL’s influence by alienating traditional conservatives who don’t even remotely hate Jews but who merely (and justifiably) want immigration control and an end to tranny ideology in the schools.

Greenblatt’s doing damage control. That’s all his statement is. Not a timeless manifesto, but a man who fucked up and is now trying to reverse course. But okay, that’s too complex a point for you. So let’s return to his “I’m here to protect all Jews regardless of skin color, nation of origin, or level of religious engagement.”

You shitstains already have that with the Catholic Church.

Jesus on a pogo, it’s SO hard writing for retards. Have you I Am Sams ever thought about where the concept of “sanctuary cities” comes from? I mean, the idea of taking sanctuary in a place where you’re protected from authorities?

“Durrrrrrp, nope. Me too busy liking stupid comments.”

It’s a Catholic concept.

Sanctuary! Sanctuary!

Shit, I’m expecting you to know Hugo. I might as well expect a possum to know algebra.

Illegal alien “sanctuary” started in the 1980s via Catholic churches in the U.S. that decided to shield Catholic Central American illegals from arrest and deportation.

No, it wasn’t “tha Jews.” Illegal alien “sanctuary” was tha Catholics. Cardinal Roger Mahony, then-Archbishop of Los Angeles, was a key player. I know that because, unlike you, I have a brain. One that, alcohol-soaked as it is, is still superior to that moldy onion loaf under your calvaria.

And soon enough “sanctuary” became a thing for Protestants too. The 1980s saw a vigorous competition by Protestants to win Central American refugee beans away from Catholicism. So once Catholics started giving “sanctuary,” Protestants began doing it too. Protestants went into 1980 with 3% of Central America. They got to 1990 with 20%, in large part because Protestant churches joined the “sanctuary” craze.

Just as Greenblatt says “We’re here for all Jews no matter skin color, nation of origin, or level of religious engagement,” the Catholic Church says that too. They will protect Catholics no matter their color, nation of origin, or level of religious commitment.

And you despise that.

You were given an ADL of your own, at least for those of you who are Catholic, and you spat on it. So kindly fuck off with your complaints.

You cheered a comment from an anencephalic who said “we want a skin color-based organization just like the ADL,” and to make his case he posted a clip saying “the ADL is not skin color-based.”

How can I not loathe you? In what universe am I expected to write for people like you?

Interestingly, the point I just made was affirmed last week during Senate conformation hearings for Trump’s white nationalist State Dept. candidate Jeremy Carl, who has positioned himself as a champion of “white culture.”

Dem Senator Chris Murphy asked Carl to define “white culture,” but every answer Carl gave was tied to a specific ethnic group (Scots, Irish). So Murphy pressed him to define “whiteness,” “not ethnic identity, but white identity.” And with the pompous smile of a brain-damaged toddler who proudly brings his poo to the dinner table, Carl answered, “the white church!”

Oh, the “white church” that created “sanctuary” for illegals?

That “white church?”

Or is there another “white church” I’m missing? Please, oh wonderful readers, enlighten me! Where is this “Church of White?” Tell me of its deeds! I can’t wait to hear.

I hate you people.

Indeed, you yourselves can’t define “white identity.” You diarrheal droplets have decided that only “Heritage Americans” are TRUE Americans! White Mayflower Americans are the only real Americans. And then you want those same whites, the ones you’ve just elevated to a position above other whites, to identify with Slavs and Guineas and the Irish.

You declare that only “Heritage Americans” can claim the coveted identity of American, and then in the next breath you say, “but you should also claim the identity of generic white.”

Honestly, if I could Videodrome you (cancer rays shooting from the screen), I would. Because you’re just so damn unworthy of life. The whites you exalt are smarter than you (that’s why you always lose; you’re a tick in the hair of stallions that reject your company). For most whites it’s demeaning to brag about skin tone. Demeaning to reduce themselves to “lack of tan.” Whites have ethnic organizations, always more specific than “my skin is pinky.” There are Slavic orgs, Celtic orgs, Italian orgs. Because whites, the people you claim to champion but whose psychology you’re far too stupid to grasp, celebrate deeper heritages. The heritage of their ancestors. Asking them to reduce themselves and their ancestors to pinkyskin is insulting.

You’re asking Cassie McHugh, whose ancestors were brutally evicted during the Highland Clearances at the hand of other whites, and Liam O’Loony whose ancestors were starved to death at the hand of other whites, and Stanislav Wzyrtcztzagzic whose ancestors were brutally murdered for being Slavs at the hand of Aryans, to say “you know what? I’m gonna forget the dignity of my ancestors and join up with the very whites who oppressed us because our skin is slightly similar. I am not my great-great-grandmother’s DNA; I’m solely my lack of tan. That’s my identity!”

Hey - wanna have some fun? Tell Ann Coulter that her Mayflower ancestors are of the same genetic stuff as Pietro Zangarizanglia who arrived in Brooklyn from Sicily in 1920 and stabbed a cop. Please tell her that in person, because I want you to walk away with a broken nose.

I wrote this piece a week ago, but I sat on it because I thought it might be too angry, even by my standards. During that week of inaction, the Jeremy Carl hearings gave the matter of “generic white identity” new relevance, so I added the extra content. Because it only made my points more salient. Moron rightists bent themselves into pretzels of stupidity trying to support Carl’s view that there’s a “white culture.”

Like this from Peter Thiel’s “handsome dicksuck” Lomez (Jon Keeperman), who Thiel entrusted with the birth and death of “Passage Press,” the publishing company that was going to “change the culture” but instead died from incompetence (the shuttering of Takimag is connected to Passage’s mishandling of Taki’s autobiography, but that’s a story for another time):

"White culture" as I've defined it is actually very specific if you take just a moment to think about it, but again, because it is the water people are swimming in they can't often see it, so for example, to be specific: The history of the Western legal tradition going back to Athens as ordered reason rather than mere might, to the moral laws of the Ten Commandments, to Augustinian Natural Law, the Magna Carta, English Common Law, Westphalian international law, Constitutionalism––fill this in with your own key milestones––is just a much different legal, normative, and philosophical lineage than for example Chinese Law with its basis in Confucianism, and this all gets encoded into our society in different ways that manifest in how we negotiate contracts, as just one small example, and why doing a deal with a Chinese businessman is different than doing a deal with an American one (which everyone ofc acknowledges are real and meaningful differences), and a million other things beside.

To quote Lenny Bruce, “I got me a headache from all the shit you be talkin’.”

Also, I’m not entirely sure the Ten Commandments are “white” (but you guys love your blue-eyed Moseses and Jesuses).

The Atlantic’s Thomas Williams made an even better point:

In a similar vein:

Our favorite doughy plate-lipped albino autist weighed in, stating that America’s founding is “English-Scotts-Irish” (I had no idea so many men named Scott were founders…I think the retard meant “Scots”):

To which Peter Brimelow, a man so white his SPF # is 1488, retorted…

You dicksucks aren’t even in agreement yourselves. Maybe hash this shit out before making it a public affairs issue for voters.

I could add that Catholics were as much a part of America’s founding as jub-jub Hindus. From the Catholic World Report:

Where were the Catholics in the settlement of the thirteen colonies? Aside from living in an over-the-top exaggerated horror in the paranoid fears of American Protestants, almost nowhere. Certainly, there had been some settlement in Maryland (but Catholics were illegal there by 1689 and would remain so until 1774), and the Jesuits and Franciscans were quite active on the frontier. But, as to any sizable population? That would have to wait until the Irish and the Germans came in the late 1840s.

So Elon’s inclusion of the Irish is as faulty as his exploding rockets. And I could also add that 20th Century American culture was overwhelmingly influenced by jazzy negroes and kinoscopic kikes, but such subtleties would be lost on you beasts. So instead I’ll point out that if you have to spend 10,000 words trying to convince whites that they have a single generic culture, if you have to sell whites that hard on the concept, then it’s a shitty political issue, because it’s not self-evident like “murderers should be put in prison,” “black ghettoes are dangerous,” and “men aren’t women.”

Whether whites CAN be shoehorned into one generic lump (the concept you’re obsessed with) is a different question from whether whites want to be shoehorned into one generic lump (whether by Robin D’Angelo leftists or Jeremy Carl Nazis). And they don’t. So quit doing it, fuckfaces.

Oh I know, I know - I can hear you know. “But…but…but BLACKS fight amongst themselves and kill themselves, and they have internal divisions, yet they still have the NAACP that binds them as one.”

Uh-huh. And did I miss the memo about how black Americans are now the most successful demographic group in the nation? Economically and academically, the cream of the crop? I seem to have missed those stats. Please provide a link in the comments! Because if you can’t, it would rather suggest that the black embrace of racial orgs has not exactly helped those people.

The idea that whites should ape blacks and launch a skin-tone org of their own is not new. It didn’t start with Retarded Commenter #2. In 1979 David Duke formed The National Association for the Advancement of White People (NAAWP) based on exactly that premise.

Oh, you haven’t heard of that, Cletus? So what does that tell you? It failed. It attracted few followers except for elderly unreconstructed klanfolk and Nazis-in-exile, and Duke blew all the donations on riverboat gambling trips.

Oh but this time it’ll work.

To you slugs, white nationalism is like communism. Sure it failed every other time it was attempted (NAAWP, Aryan Nations, Church of the Creator), but that’s only because it wasn’t done right!

Your beloved Retarded Commenter #2 asks, referring to me, “Did you or anyone else express outrage at the antiwhite racial hatred that has become commonplace (and not just on Twitter)? You made perfunctory allusions to it here and there on Takimag, which was great, thank you.”

“Perfunctory?” Well, I guess it’s foolish to expect anthropomorphic smegma to understand word definitions. My Takimag pieces that “expressed outrage at antiwhite racial hatred” were not “perfunctory.” They were a cornerstone of both of my columns (my main column and The Week That Perished). And the fact that you, my supposed “regular readers,” cheered Retarded Commenter #2 rather than calling him out on his lie, well…that’s why I just don’t want to write for you anymore. You claim to know my work, but you clearly don’t.

If you have a few spare minutes in-between masturbating to Revilo Oliver in a bathtub full of excrement, perhaps you can explain this part of Retarded Commenter’s screed:

I don't see the relevance of mentioning that non-whites "disfavor race-based hiring and admissions practices": less intelligent, less qualified, less deserving non-whites have been elevated at the expense of better whites (and Asians and probably even some Jews) in every field for decades now. A primary component of white solidarity would be correcting this immediately.

What does that mean? I made the point in the previous column that whites “disfavor race-based hiring and admissions practices,” and as a result, those practices are being phased out via whites voting against them and SCOTUS justices (appointed by white presidents) ruling to end them. So your beloved Retarded Commenter essentially says, “I don’t see the relevance of you pointing out that whites are currently ending ‘race-based hiring and admissions practices,’ because white solidarity will end this practice.”

People with decent frontal lobes will find that paragraph poorly-written and pointless. Meaningless. Break it down for me. I’m saying that “race-based hiring and admissions practices” are ending without Musk’s “white solidarity” plans, and Retarded Commenter is saying “it’s irrelevant that ‘race-based hiring and admissions practices’ are ending; white solidarity will end them!”

You dumbshits can’t read. You can’t comprehend. You’ve no ability to discern good writing from poor.

So why would I write for you? Why would I care if you read my book? You can’t tell skilled writing from midway chicken piano-pecks.

You’ve gone insane over skin color. It used to be commonplace to mock blacks for thinking their ancestors wuz kangs. Well congrats, Buford; that’s you now. You da new kangs. You think your ancestors were elite originators. Wanna know the truth? Your ancestors were common working folks. Laborers, tradesmen. Your color gives you no nobility. That goes for blacks too, whose ancestors were likely fieldhands and haulers. Small unimportant people who nevertheless pressed on for themselves and their kids. Morons think nobility is being a “kang.” In fact nobility comes from working your fingers to the bone at thankless tasks for the benefit of your loved ones.

My biological father innovated the medications that prevented organ transplant rejection. He then opened a private practice and killed Elvis. And I no more take credit for his good deeds than for his bad.

If I had your diseased minds, I’d be traveling to every organ transplant ward in the nation demanding personal thanks from the patients.

In January 2024 I warned that Musk’s takeover of Twitter would spark “overcorrection” among rightists. White rightists, long deprived of the “right” to say anything positive about their skin, would go overboard, making skin color everything.

In February 2025 I revisited that theme, stating that Trump’s win made white racial “overcorrection” an inevitability:

Did I call it or didn’t I?

See, that’s good writing. Not repeating David Duke’s talking points from 1979, but being ahead of the curve. Not aping but innovating.

But I guess that’s lost on you pea-brained meerkats.

One last thing: here’s a final quote from Retarded Commenter #2’s “brilliant” magnum opus: “But one key component of white solidarity would be imposing serious legal consequences on anyone engaging in antiwhite racial slander - just as the ADL is doing to anyone engaged in anti-Jewish and even anti-Israel activism.”

“Imposing serious legal consequences on anyone engaging in antiwhite racial slander.” So, making speech illegal (which by the way the ADL is not doing). But you want that, apparently. “Imposing serious legal consequences on anyone engaging in antiwhite racial slander.”

You want to end the First Amendment.

This is the comment you called brilliant.

Just because you got the tiniest taste of victory - a second Trump term and Musk boosting Nazis on X - you’ve gone from “free speech for all” to “impose serious legal consequences on the speech of my enemies.”

No figurative slaughter has ever been more deserved than the one you’ll be getting in November.

The pity is that it will be figurative.

Okay, here’s where we are. Part of me wants to retire. I’m living in a really swell area, trying to enjoy my days until the liver gives out. These might be my last months before the downhill. On the other hand, writing’s all I do, and I have a few neat stories from the past few months that I’d love to share: My disastrous experience with Tablet Magazine when I was invited to become a paid writer for them (it’s a fun story involving Charlie Kirk, Tucker Carlson, and the Holocaust), the GOP congressman who tried and failed to buy a phone call with me, the shuttering of Takimag, a funny tale involving Lomez, a Trump official, and my broken toilet, and me prevailing in a defamation claim against The Times of Israel. So I’m going to give you people a chance to atone for the anger and resignation you’ve provoked in me. If I get $1,000 by March 1st via Buy Me a Beer, GiveSendGo, or PayPal, I’ll keep writing. If not, the Lord will call me home. And by “the Lord” I mean rum and relaxation.

The choice is yours, meerkats.

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Okay, one brief political aside.

Last week Elon Musk retweeted a white supremacist who declared “White solidarity is the only way to survive” because “nonwhites” will “slaughter us.”

Musk retweeted that adding 100%!

If White men become a minority, we will be slaughtered. Remember, if non-Whites openly hate White men while White men hold a collective majority, then they will be 1000x times more hostile and cruel when they are a majority over Whites. White solidarity is the only way to survive.

“Racism is moral,” Musk’s friend “Jerr” concludes in his follow-up tweet.

So you’re really gonna go down that road, are you? Straight-up white racism?

Okay, dickbags, answer this one question: What is white solidarity?

What is it? What does it mean in practical terms?

American voters already favor strict immigration controls by a wide margin. Same with disfavoring race-based hiring and admissions practices. So you have that already. What more do you want? What will define that “solidarity?” Enforced agreement among whites? Okay, agreement on what exactly? Religious belief? Musical taste? Racial preference in a mate? Racial preference among friends? Will it come down to who you hang with, who you call friend - better a dull-witted, dislikable, pure-blooded white than a funny, affable buddy with “mongrel” blood in his veins?

Does it mean siding with a white when he’s in the wrong over a “mongrel” who’s in the right?

What exactly does “white solidarity” mean?

Calling black people nigger?

Because that’s what Elon’s pal wants. Hell, that’s what he did mere hours before Elon retweeted him…he went on an “anti-niggaboo” spree:

…so I guess he wants you to speak that way as well.

So tell me, you diarrheal skidmarks, what is “white solidarity?”

Fill in the blank: “White solidarity means that all white people __________________.”

Spell it out for me. I’m really curious to know.

BTW, nations like Mexico and Costa Rica have large minorities of non-Hispanic white expats and retirees. Are they being killed? According to Elon, all whites who are minorities among nonwhites get slaughtered. Is that true in Latin America? Korea (over 170,000 Americans live there)? The Bahamas? Qatar? Dubai? Singapore? The Virgin Islands?

Having recently invented one fake genocide (“leftists are killing us!”) you’ve now invented a second: “All whites in majority-nonwhite nations are being slaughtered.”

You’re liars. Serial fakers.

L.A. is a white-minority county. Yes, blacks commit a disproportionate amount of crime, and yes, crime went down when “black L.A.” was sent packing. But Mexicans, Belizeans, Chinese, Koreans, Vietnamese, Filipinos, Thais, Indians, Armenians, Saudis, Syrians, and Persians (who collectively outnumber non-Hispanic whites) are not slaughtering whites. It’s just not happening, you fucking idiots.

Not that this matters to you punchbowl turds. You’ve made your choice: White solidarity is the issue that’s gonna win 2026 and 2028!

It’s fascinating, really, the extent of your stupidity. You actually think that the average white American has no friends of color. No coworkers of color. No positive thoughts toward anyone even slightly darker than he. The average white American voter paces his floor 24/7, an anxious mess of nerves, worried that everyone in his city with less than 100% Nordic blood is out to slaughter him (as meanwhile all nonwhites pace their floors just waiting for the opportunity to slaughter those with lighter skin). And now, thankfully, Elon has endorsed what every white voter knows: yes, every nonwhite wants to kill you so you must band together with your fellow whites, as there is no living, working, or socially mixing with nonwhites.

You really believe that. And you think white voters will be so receptive of this message that they’ll reward the GOP at the ballot box. Because no white person in America sees any good in any nonwhite. Or enjoys their company. Or works alongside them.

Even the fucking GROYPERS aren’t exclusionary of nonwhites. Why would you think average apolitical white voters are?

You fucking morons. The extent to which I despise you for your stupidity cannot be measured in degrees or expressed in words. It’s not “the Jews” or “the blacks” or “the whites” who need exterminating; it’s anyone who thinks that what Elon tweeted is a positive. Those people should die; they’re a drag on humankind’s IQ.

What truly intrigues me (and me alone, judging by the lack of press) is how Elon has retweeted and boosted Holocaust deniers, Nazis who say Hitler was right and the Jews should be killed, the self-described leader of the “Christian Taliban” who wants to enslave women, and now a “niggaboo”-hating white supremacist who calls for “white solidarity”…and it NEVER hurts Musk’s business! His brand never suffers.

You paranoid fuckfaces whine endlessly about how you’re always being “canceled.” You cry rivers of sewer-stenched tears every time some obscure leftist tweets something mean about whites. You’re always victims victims victims. Except…you have the wealthiest man in the world in your corner, and he says things that are far worse (from a racial hate perspective) than anything you asswipes ever complained about from the “liburrel media,” and he always gets away with it. He never has any consequences dealt to him, and he boosts YOUR stupid asses when you follow his hateful lead. And STILL you cry like victims.

Fuck “canceling.” People should be taking sledgehammers to Teslas. Sorry, simps. I’m 100% in favor of a campaign of vandalism against anything Musk is attached to. I’d feel less inclined to promote such a response, except your cowardice necessitates it. Who’ll speak out against Musk? Nobody on the right; they might get shadowbanned! They might lose followers! Fates worse than death. You scared little mice.

“White solidarity because all nonwhites would slaughter us if they had the chance? Well, garsh, I don’t actually believe that, but…but…well, I don’t wanna go against Mister Musk.”

So fuck him and fuck you too. I hope we get to the point where nobody with a Tesla feels safe parking it on a public street. Musk’s a Nazi, a Klansman by rhetoric, and everyone’s just letting it happen. He’s toxic; his brands must be made toxic too.

How we react to Musk will define our character. And I don’t mean our national character, though that, too. I mean your character. You’re with the Nazis and Klansmen, or you’re not.

I come from a time when conservatives were sincerely against racial hate. A time when the great Lee Atwater denounced David Duke at every opportunity, in the most absolute terms, using all the weapons in his arsenal to prevent Duke from being mainstreamed in the GOP. Today? Tucker Carlson once again praises Nazi Nick Fuentes as a genius who should be followed, and the very next day Carlson’s in the White House by Trump’s side.

This is no longer about keeping Home Depot parking lots free of drywallers. I’m reminded of a joke…shit, I can’t remember if it was Dennis Miller or Norm Macdonald, but it was from the height of the Lewinsky scandal, and it went something like “still calling this ‘the Whitewater scandal’ is like saying ‘Heisman winner O.J. Simpson.’ We’re so past that point!”

MAGA leaders are now openly calling for race war (“If we don’t band together as whites, the NIGGABOOS will slaughter us!”) and the extermination of Jews.

Sorry, guys; I’m out. I‘ll take my chances with the drywallers.

“Stop being such a drama queen, Cole, it’s not that bad” is exactly the DM I’ll get from several of you who don’t agree with Musk yet who’ve been too intimidated to speak against him. Which proves it IS that bad. So spare me.

MAGA’s fall will be satisfying. It’ll certainly start this year in November, but to whatever extent, in whatever increments, it comes sooner, the better indeed.

Okay, I’m done with you. Movies only from now on.

Un-Urned Income

1984’s Dreamscape was a terrible film, to be sure. Dennis Quaid (aka “the Quaid who’s not insane”) stars as a psychic who’s recruited by Max von Sydow and Kate “struck it rich with the Golden Jew” Capshaw to infiltrate people’s dreams to help them overcome their night terrors. Unfortunately, a CIA villain (Christopher Plummer) is recruiting evil psychics to infiltrate people’s dreams to murder them in their sleep.

The evil psychic is played by David Patrick Kelly, best known as the guy who squealed “Warriors, come out and play-yay” before jumping off the face of the earth.

Thrown into the mix is the President of the United States (Eddie Albert), who’s haunted by nightmares in which his recently-deceased wife dies in a nukyular holycaust.

No surprise that Albert’s wife would be dead. Remember, this is the asshole from Green Acres whose wife told him that moving to the countryside would inflame her allergies, and he was like “fuck you, bitch - you’re coming with me.”

Dick.

Anyway, evil CIA guy Plummer is worried that President Albert’s anti-nuke nightmares will make him soft on the Russians, so he inserts evil psychic Kelly into the president’s dreams to kill him. But heroic psychic Quaid shows up and helps the president battle the dream assassin.

Screenplay by Louisa May Alcott based on a story by Button Gwinnett.

I saw the film in theaters when it came out, and of course I found it laughable. But one thing I never noticed until a recent re-viewing is director Joseph Ruben’s estimable subtlety regarding the movie’s first scene.

Following the credits, we open on a woman being vaporized in a nuclear explosion:

Eddie Albert wakes up screaming from a nightmare. Beside his bed is a photo of the woman we just saw.

Get it? The woman in the nightmare was……….his WIFE!

The door to the bedroom opens…it’s a Secret Service guy. “Are you okay, Mr. President?”

See? He’s………………..the PRESIDENT!

And on the wall is a photo of Lincoln.

See? It’s…………………………the WHITE HOUSE!

And right there, perched on the edge of a thin little table, is an urn.

See? The wife………………………………….is DEAD!

What dexterity this Ruben possesses. No wonder he also gave us the Wesley Snipes/Woody Harrelson classic Money Train.

But seriously - it’s the fucking White House and the only place they could put the First Lady’s ashes is on the edge of a tiny table right by a busy doorway? Why is it on the edge, all by itself, like an unwanted ashtray? It’s the First Lady’s fucking ashes! Alone in a corner, so that it can fit in the shot.

Some say it’s an example of stupid set design. Others say it’s an example of very stupid set design.

Seriously - this is how a mediocre hack can take the concept of “show don’t tell” and make it suck.

BTW, Ruben’s nickname as a director was Witch Wart. Because he was always on the nose.

Headstrong, Mindblown

I’ve always wanted to do a YouTube channel in which I freeze-frame dummy heads right before they blow up in movies.

Like Scorsese’s infamous quick-cut to a De Niro dummy when the car explodes in Casino:

Decades before Marty de-aged Bobby for The Irishman, he chisel-chinned him in Casino.

Never Say Never Again was supposed to be Sean Connery’s triumphant return to the world of Bond, but it ended up being every insomniac’s triumphant return to the world of sleep.

Here’s where Bond blows up villainess Barbara Carrera by shooting an exploding projectile into her:

Yes, the projectile turned her into a scarecrow. And it deserves a closeup:

Now, you’re likely thinking, “Okay, Sean Connery debased himself in a movie in which he kills a mannequin, but I’m sure Roger Moore never did.”

How wrong you are! In the 1990 action/comedy Bullseye, a mega-flop considered a career low for Moore and costar Michael Caine, Moore tricks a train steward into opening a booby-trapped compartment.

The mannequin’s head pops right off. No, the character’s not a robot; that’s supposed to be a human.

Connery’s scarecrow doesn’t seem so bad now, huh?

Speaking of action heroes…

Everyone loves Danny Trejo. But don’t tell that to Charles Bronson, who blew him up in Death Wish IV.

Did you catch the transition to dummy? Pretty seamless, no?

The funny thing is, the explosion is done in post; there was no need for the dummy. But producers Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus used it anyway because the Talmud so instructs (“If a man produceth a fake Beanerhead that looketh nothing like the Bean, his box office shall not faileth to break even.” - Sanhedrin 147B).

In Lucio Fulci’s The Beyond, when this Pippi Longstocking-lookin’ ho becomes a zombie and has to be shot in the head…

…her death is preceded by a sudden case of Down syndrome.

Speaking of zombies, in Dawn of the Dead, George Romero and his special effects “whiz” Tom Savini invented the neckbeard.

Yep - Savini is a genius.

In 1972’s The Devonsville Terror, German director Ulli Lommel made an interesting choice for an exploding head scene. Beams are shot into the eyes of the villain…

…causing the head to light up…

…which could’ve easily segued to the explosion of grey matter. But no. Lommel decides to cut from the flash of light to this oral sex doll.

“Ulli” is German for incompetent.

As is Rutger, in Dutch. In the 1986 Rutger Hauer vehicle Wanted: Dead or Alive, Hauer plays a bounty hunter pursuing an Arab terrorist played by Gene Simmons. Because of course.

At the end of the film, Hauer sticks a grenade in the handcuffed Simmons’ mouth and pulls the pin.

“Kiss your ass goodbye!”

Simmons staggers around…

…and turns into this before exploding.

If the Simmons dummy looks familiar to you, it was the inspiration for the iconic “monkey Jesus” fresco.

Now, the 1982 Aussie film Turkey Shoot gives us to two better-than-average dummy heads. At the movie’s climax, the female villain gets jabbed with an exploding arrow.

It’s not the worst mannequin ever, but the wrists need work.

Better still is the male villain. He gets shot with an exploding bullet!

Here he is, battling the heroes in fine form...

…only to become this…

The dummy looks kinda morose about its incipient fate. But all credit to director Blair Dinkum for perfectly lining up the actor with the pole. He had to - the dummy’s quite clearly tied to it.

It’s unhappy days for Erin Moran in Galaxy of Terror, when the late sitcom sister’s head is crushed by alien tentacles.

But before exploding, it turns into this:

Why is the dummy head missing an eye? Producer Roger Corman likely needed it on another film he was shooting in the room next door.

Asian cinema, especially during its shittiest years in the 1970s and ‘80s, was not above - or below - flirting with terrible dummy heads. One of the finest examples comes from the 1987 action flick Terminal Angels. At the film’s climax, the two heroes jointly shoot the villain in the noggin.

To be fair, he’s shooting at them too. In very menacing golf attire.

Breathtaking.

Director Godfrey Ho was so fond of that dummy head, he actually repeats the moment in closeup:

Competence. That’s why the Chinese can build three bullet trains in a month while it takes Americans five years to build one Hooters.

But let’s not end on a bad note. Supposedly, the Dutch have the highest collective IQ of any nation in Europe.

With a language that looks like “oop-eek moop-meek boom boom bork?” I doubt it.

That said, the fake head from the 1983 Dutch horror film The Lift is not bad at all. A dude, played by award-winning Dutch actor Beep vander Boop, is about to get his head crushed in an elevator.

Right before the smooshing, we cut to the fake head:

Not bad, really. One lazy eye, but otherwise decent.

I have LOTS more of these, but that’ll do for now. Have any favorites of your own? Let me know in the comments. And please don’t mention Scanners. Yes, I know about Scanners. Everyone knows about Scanners. And Raiders. I didn’t want to cover the overly-familiar ones. Plus, those didn’t suck.

Too bad if this isn’t the content you want from me. I give you permission to unsub. I mean it, no more harassing of unsubbers. Go ahead; feel free.

Maybe one day when you stop being retarded, I’ll go back to politics again.

Wanna make MY head explode? A donation to Old Dave via Buy Me a Beer or GiveSendGo will help keep my faith in humanity from sinking TOO low.

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The year started with me getting Elephant Manned by an M&M, followed by the unbearable loss of K’eyush the Stunt Dog. Then the rat attack, and my decision to sell my house and relocate to a gibbon rescue compound in Comoros.

2025…I learned a lot. I learned that Jews eat babies at Passover and every rightist on earth is too cowardly to say otherwise if it means possibly losing ten X followers. I learned that Venezuelan drug couriers are the real villains and the only reason Trump never mentioned it until last month is that he didn’t want to tip them off.

Smart cookie, that Trump. He even pardoned a major Honduran drug kingpin just to throw the couriers off the trail.

8th Dimensional chess!

I learned that the Bamboo Steamer is great for salmon but less good for Hong Kong apartments. I learned that the J6 pipe bomber was the black nerd from Die Hard. I learned that Milo Yiannopoulos and Nick Fuentes suck dick as proof of their heterosexuality, because if you don’t suck dick you’re gay. I learned that you can see a guy get shot in the neck and hemorrhage blood but that doesn’t mean anyone knows what killed him because it might’ve been Jews using an exploding microphone from underground tunnels.

I also learned that conservatives are being murdered every day, Hunted, hunted I say, like beasts of the field. If you call or text a MAGA friend and they don’t respond, it’s because they’ve been murdered. Indeed, everyone on the right’s been murdered. It’s a genocide of conservatives, as real as the tranny genocide and the black “death by cop” genocide. And the truth of this fictional holocaust is being pushed by rightists who call the true Holocaust fictional.

There was symmetry to this angry cunt of a year. It began with the ignominious death of a Hollywood icon and his younger spouse - Alzheimered Gene Hackman pacing about his adobe hut, starving to death, too disoriented to notice his dead wife underfoot - and ended with the ignominious death of a Hollywood icon and his younger spouse - Meathead and Mrs. Meathead meet meat cleaver.

On that note, Conan O’Brien throws the worst Christmas parties. Jay Leno’s are duller, but less fatal.

More symmetry - I started the year being told by my boss of ten years that I was banned from criticizing a Jew-hater, Elon “Autischwitz” Musk. And I ended the year with one of my best friends telling me not to criticize a Jew-hater, Tucker “Lord A-haw-haw-haw” Carlson.

2025 was my year of quitting. My job, my house, and now political writing in general. I’ve lost all desire to talk politics. It started with my friend requesting that I sit on the story of me asking Tucker about whether Jews eat babies at Passover (my question led to a wonderful exchange involving Israel and ending with Tuck telling me to “fuck off”), and now it’s at the point where I feel so completely impotent regarding the right’s slide into Nazism that I just want to check out of the whole thing (with Carlson’s brother Buckley now all-in on “Jews eat babies,” my convo with Carlson would be even more relevant. But whatever…).

I look at the right and its Nazis as I looked at Covid circa March 2020. I wrote about this in my column at the time, how efforts to “end Covid” by shutting down cities and nations were stupid and futile. Covid was in the air; it was in humans. Every country would eventually have to let it work its way through the population. Freezing travel and locking people in their homes was a temporary delay of the inevitable; Covid was in the world, and, like any airborne bug, you’ll breathe it eventually. Bite the bullet and get it over with. It’ll work itself out.

Well, that’s my views regarding you clods and your beloved Nazis. You’ve introduced them into your ecosystem. The virus is in the air. Funny how Elon loves overusing the term “woke mind virus,” yet he’s too blind or stupid to see that he’s unleashed the Nazi mind virus (oh, who’m I kidding? He isn’t blind or stupid; the worthless fuck did it on purpose). Musk is a vector, as are Vance, Carlson, Owens, Kelly, etc. Every top rightist podcast is now “Jews eat babies at Passover,” “Hitler was the hero of WWII,” and “the Holocaust never happened.” Vance, your likely 2028 nominee, is cool with that; this doughy Ned Beattyfucker doesn’t even have the stones to call out Groypers when they insult his Punjabi wife.

The bug’s in the air. My attempts to stop this disaster - attempts, I should add, that date back to 2016 - have proven futile. For years I warned you shitstains what would happen if you released the Nazi virus. That is to say, if you stopped canceling Nazis and began letting them in because “we can only fight leftist crazies by bringing in crazies of our own gyuck-gyuck-gee-gee-gehgyurk” (and other assorted inbred grunts).

I warned you. I told you that the best way to fight leftist lunacy was to fight leftist lunacy, not breed rightist lunacy to equalize right and left on the retardo scale. Defund the police, open borders, DEI, and trannyism could be opposed quite effectively without saying “Gas the Jews! Holohoax!”

But no…you wouldn’t hear of it. You wanted in on this cool new Nazi thing. How exciting! How Führerific! How positively sieg heily!

Well, now you got what you wanted. The GOP is as hobbled by Nazis as the Dems were by trannies.

Congrats…you fucking imbeciles.

And there’s nothing I can do about it. I tried, I failed. And now that it’s in the air, it’s just going to have to work its way through the right, like Covid in a big city. You’re going to have to take losses. Election losses, policy losses. And after the Dems have kicked your stupid asses and all of Trump’s immigration policies have been re-Bidened, maybe then your love affair with Nazis will end.

Maybe.

But it’s the only possible way to subdue the plague. Me constantly yelling about it is like Newsom locking down California in 2020. It stopped nothing.

Breathe it in, folks. Breathe deep the virus you unleashed from your own personal Wuhan, and I wish you a period of intense pain and suffering, then a recovery accompanied by the wisdom you lacked when I warned of this scenario a decade ago.

But me? I’ve lost any desire to talk or write of this shit.

So lemme wrap up with one final tale.

For years at Takimag I railed against Stew Peters. Peters is a guy who legit wants to murder American Jews. He’s repeatedly called for a “final solution” to the Jewish question in the U.S., and he’s brazenly stated that this means engaging in violent, criminal action against ordinary Jews.

On his February 10th, 2024, show, Peters hosted a Hitler admirer named Arthur Kwon Lee, who referred to Jews as “sewer dwellers.” Affirming that view, Peters stated, “The problem isn’t Zionism, the problem is Jews,” adding, “Jews are cowards. They fake being Jews,” again reiterating, “What do you think the problem is with America? The Jews.”

Lee then stated that the time has come to “physically fight the Jews,” to which Peters replied, “I agree. I agree a thousand percent.” Lee added, “Right now the fight is between whites and Jews, and all other ethnicities have to pick a side.” Peters nodded in agreement, bluntly declaring, “Grab a weapon.”

Of course, Peters praised the Bondi Beach massacre…

Peters ain’t too fond of “foundational blacks,” either.

Oh, and here’s Stewey with skinhead Vincent James, the subject of my last piece.

Peters urges his followers to “finish” Hitler’s “fight.”

From 2023 to when I quit in April this year, I mentioned Stew Peters in nine different columns. Well, that was too much for some of you. I was castigated by one high-profile, highly-influential Beltway friend, “Stop talking about Stew Peters! Nobody knows him! Nobody cares!”

Well, I cared. I knew Peters had an astounding amount of money behind him. Money from Nazis, Groypers, and Holocaust deniers, and money from “insider” rightists who saw in Peters the wave of the future.

While you faggots were ignoring the threat, I wasn’t.

Now, this is a story I never planned to make public, but a few weeks ago one of Tucker’s fellow sieg heilers let the cat out of the bag himself. So since it’s no longer a secret, I’ll speak of it.

It’s a tale of two guys.

Guy #1: Patrick Howley is a Tucker Carlson associate from the Daily Caller. These days, he’s a full-on goosestepping Stew Peters acolyte. I’ve written about Howley before. A disgrace to journalism who, during the Occupy protests in 2011, dressed up as ANTIFA and initiated a riot at the Smithsonian's National Air and Space Museum that left several guards injured. He wanted to get a “scoop” (“OCCUPY LEFTISTS STORM SMITHSONIAN, BEAT GUARDS!”), but since the Occupy dolts weren’t storming, Howley stormed for them, then blamed them for storming in an article for the American Spectator. But he’s so fucking low-IQ, he boasted - in print - about having provoked the riot himself to fake the “scoop.” The admission led to a pink slip from the Spectator.

So of course Carlson grabbed the guy up. A fraud? An imbecile? Welcome to the Tucker Carlson family, friend! And as Tucker grew more Nazi, so did his cocksuck Howley, who started working directly with Stew Peters on the “final solution” project.

Guy #2: Blake Neff, the best ghostwriter in politics. Think of your favorite millionaire Fox News personality. Think of their “autobiography.” Yeah, that hardcover sitting on your pathetic bookshelf next to your dog’s obedience school trophy for farting itself awake. That book? That “autobiography?” Blake wrote it. Think of your favorite millionaire Fox News personality. Think of their bestselling manifesto for America (“America GOOD Faith Family Freedom Flag;” RetardoRead Publishing, a division of HarperCollins).

That book? That “manifesto?” Blake wrote it.

Blake’s a friend, and as a scribe myself I greatly admire his chameleonic ability to write in other people’s voices. Back when Tucker Carlson was on Fox, Blake was his wordsmith. If you ever liked a Tucker monologue, credit Blake. In 2020 Blake was double-outed: first exposed as the brains behind the Tuck, then exposed as having pseudonymously written racially and sexually offensive things on troll message boards years earlier.

Blake resigned from Tucker’s show in 2020. That’s public knowledge.

Blake reemerged as part of Charlie Kirk’s inner circle in 2023. That’s public knowledge too. It was Blake who ushered in the “new” Kirk. The better Kirk. The Kirk who took a hard line on immigration, who rejected “staple green cards to their diplomas.”

Remember that Kirk?

Pre-Blake Kirk was bad Kirk!

After joining the team, Blake wrote Kirk’s books, speeches, and many of his tweets. Yes, even his tweets.

That’s not to take anything away from Kirk; he was a dynamic off-notes public speaker. He was a real guy, not an empty suit. But it took Blake to send him in the right direction. And Kirk knew it; he never went anywhere without Blake. Blake was by his side when Charlie was killed.

So you have Blake working for Tucker at Fox until 2020, then Blake at TPUSA from 2023 onward. But something happened in-between, when Blake was in exile.

I knew about it well, but I couldn’t speak about it.

Until December 5th when Howley opened his big drooling mouth:

Yes, Blake briefly worked for Nazi Stew Peters. And Howley decided to destroy Blake by revealing it. Because Howley’s a monster, a worthless specimen the world would be better off without. He was so fucking angry that Blake wasn’t on board with Candace’s “Jews killed Kirk, TPUSA killed Kirk, Erika killed Kirk” bullshit, he decided to try to get Blake re-canceled, out of spite.

You dumb fuckfaces. These Nazis you adore aren’t lovable “agree to disagree” “free speech” “open dialogue” darlings. They use that affectation to fool your stupid asses, because they know you’re so gullible you’d sell your kidney for a magic bean. These Nazis will destroy you if you oppose them; their commitment to “free speech” and “aw shucks, let’s debate, friend” ends the moment you speak out against them. They rule by fear, not dialogue.

You mindless, credulous shits. These beasts you’ve empowered because they smiled and said “I’m just asking qwestchins” will eventually fuck each and every one of you up the ass if you don’t fall in line, especially come 2028 when Vance becomes Fuentes and Carlson’s ticket to the White House.

To repeat: Howley tried to destroy Blake just because Blake wouldn’t indulge Owens’ lunatic fantasies. You have no idea what awaits you from these people. You stupid, stupid assholes. Then again, you’re also the people who, at Tucker’s direction, harassed J6 attendee Ray Epps for years as a “fed,” based on nothing more than that he “told people to go inside the Capitol yet hadn’t been arrested.” Nick Fuentes was also there, telling people to go inside the Capitol, and he wasn’t arrested either. And this year when Tucker “cleared” Fuentes of being a fed, saying his actions were perfectly innocent, did any of you think of Epps, the old man you tormented for doing the same thing Fuentes did?

Of course not. The cruelty, the sadism, is already inside you…and the Nazis you love are gonna give it back to you in spades.

I hope you suffer as Epps did.

Anyway, since Howley “declassified” the Blake Neff/Stew Peters tale, I’d like to give it some context.

Post-Tucker Blake was exactly where I had been after my “cancelation” in 2013. Exiled, reviled, and very much in need of work. And there was Stew Peters, a proud Nazi, a would-be murderer of Jews, a million-follower demagogue with all the money in the world to spend. But Stew had a problem: he’s illiterate. A Jalisco lettuce-picker’s toddler can write better than Stew Peters. A Baltimore Daquan strung out on “purple drank” writes more legibly than Stew Peters. Stewey needed a ghostwriter, and Howley, knowing how vulnerable Blake was, recommended him. And Stewey made Blake an offer very hard to refuse: a king’s ransom to ghostwrite about killing Jews, to use his estimable skills, the best ghostwriting skills I’ve ever seen, to make Peters’ message sound literate, instead of how it sounds coming from Peters’ damaged brain: the barely-coherent ramblings of a low-IQ loudmouth.

It was a dilemma, to be sure. Sell your soul, or stay broke.

Well, it was a dilemma for Blake, a man with a soul. It wouldn’t have been a dilemma for you walking enema bags; you embrace Nazis, you detest ethics. To you, expressing ethical hesitation equals “cucking to the left.” Whatever soul you may have had, you’ve long lost. Worse still, you’re too mind-fucked to have sold it; you gave it away for free.

But Blake, a decent man, was troubled. And guess who he came to to discuss his dilemma?

Yeah, asswipes. Me. Although Blake and I can’t be described as close friends, he’s been to my house, we’ve spent hours at dinner, and he trusts my counsel. Which I gave, one evening during a very long talk.

Don’t take the Stew Peters deal, I said. Yes, the money is tempting. Yes, you’re skilled enough to sell the most horrific message for the most horrific man.

But it’s wrong. There has to be right and wrong. Or we’re fighting for nothing.

Stew Peters is evil, period.

Even from a perspective of pure self-interest, I told Blake that nothing stays secret in this town forever. Not today, not anymore. You become Stew Peters’ Goebbels, it’ll eventually leak, and there’ll be no coming back from it.

In the end, Blake knew in his heart what to do. He said adios to Peters, to hell with the money. But Howley, that sick fuck who proved me right about nothing ever staying secret in this town, that scumbag, that creature who tried to destroy Blake for speaking his mind about Candace…I want Howley to know - it was I who helped pull Blake away from you and Peters. When you die, Howley - and may you die soon and painfully - you’ll know that it was David Cole - not some faceless “they,” not “the Jews,” but one Jew, David Cole, who helped guide Blake away from you.

As evidenced by Howley’s bitter tweet, he’s still pissed about losing Blake.

Old Mister Satan, he got mad,
Missed that soul that he thought he had.

And as for you people, who enthusiastically support Nazis on X while telling me to “stop talking about Stew Peters,” it’s only because I do pay attention to this shit that Charlie Kirk got Blake instead of Stew Peters. While you’re playing “follow the Führer” on X, I’m in the thick of the muck trying to make things better on the right.

Or at least I was. Not anymore. I don’t want to have anything to do with politics, with you and your Nazis, in 2026. What you need to learn, you’ll learn on your own. Maybe I’ll still be alive when you wise up, maybe not.

But you will wise up…after learning a few things the hard way.

The only way you retards ever learn anything.

THE LAST WORD

Ray Epps was one of you…a child-minded MAGAMAGAMAGA who only wanted to serve the God-king. And you turned on him after Tucker unleashed the lynch mob. The MAGA grampa was harassed, bullied, and driven into hiding. And you loved it. Nobody - not Matt Walsh, not Megyn “Beavis-nose” Kelly, screamed “no enemies to the right” as everyone was piling on the poor old man to the right.

You ganged up on grampa because Tucker told you, “Epps called on people to enter the Capitol on J6 but he wasn’t charged, which de facto makes him a fed.”

Then a few months ago, Nick Fuentes, who also called on people to enter the Capitol on J6 but wasn’t charged, appeared on Tucker to spread his “kill the Jews” virus, and Tucker announced, “Hey, you know what? Calling on people to enter the Capitol on J6 without being charged doesn’t make someone a fed after all.” And you were like “Epps? Epps who?”

You don’t remember him because you don’t want to. Because if you thought about it for even a second you’d realize that any of you could be the next target, the next pile-on. MAGA’s ability to manufacture lynch mobs is estimable. As the MAGA Nazi faction strengthens, you’ll find that opposition carries risks. One tweet can make you a target. Nazis are by nature bullies. In the 1930s, of course. And today’s cosplay Nazis are worse, since many of them are “working out” a childhood filled with being on the receiving end of bullying (being bullied in school defines Musk’s personality).

Here’s something else you’ll learn, something I learned this year: as the MAGA Nazi faction grows stronger, your friends will not publicly defend you should you be attacked. It’s the risk/reward I spoke of months ago. Too risky to oppose the bullies, too much potential reward in supporting them.

In the coming tumult, most of you will do as other MAGAs have done: you’ll flee to fantasy. You’ll join the hundreds of thousands of MAGAs who breathlessly worried that Candace Owens was going to be murdered by the Jews during her “summit” with Erika Kirk. You’ll live entirely in your head, fretting about the fictional action-adventure scenarios your heroes paint on X. Newly-minted rightists like Justine Bateman bitch endlessly about AI, but what’s AI to a rightist? Rightists live in artificial reality, a VR mindscape of killer Jewbots and nefarious Venezuelan voting machines. You live your fake adventures every day, as divorced from the real world as any AI-crafted video.

Speaking of reality-detachment, Matt Walsh tweeted this last week:

Unreality at its finest! When Gabby Giffords took one in the head in a mass shooting during a Democrat administration, Dems were content to accept that the killer was a mentally-ill weirdo. Rather than send leftists down the road to insanity, the Dem machine parlayed the shooting into a Mark Kelly victory and a Dem takeover of both AZ Senate seats.

No “frog marches and leg irons.” Just smart politics (i.e. the thing Walsh can neither comprehend nor practice).

During the Biden administration, the nation saw Nick Fuentes “Groyper” disciples murder ten black people at a Tops Market in Buffalo and three black people at a Dollar Store in Jacksonville. Plus twenty-three Hispanics killed in El Paso in 2019 (Trump was president but Congress was Dem) and one dead in a school shooting as Trump was inaugurated in January 2025, with the shooter specifically crediting Fuentes and Owens as inspirations. Oh, and nine black churchgoers killed by a rightist “noticer” in Charleston during the Obama administration.

Forty-six nonwhites viciously murdered by Groypers, half during Democrat administrations, and where exactly was this “crackdown?” In fact, Groyperism only grew; Fuentes and Owens only got bigger.

And what about Pennsylvania Governor Josh Shapiro, a Democrat and presidential hopeful? In April of this year, on Passover, Shapiro and his family were firebombed in the governor’s mansion by a MAGAMAGAMAGA who wanted to murder Shapiro for, in the words of arsonist/terrorist Cody Balmer, “having my friends killed.”

Six months before Kirk was killed, rightists were already hunting Jews for “killing them.”

“Stop killing me! You’re killing me! Now I’ll kill you for killing me!”

Yet Walsh’s says, “We have not gone to war with those who want to kill us, and are killing us.”

“Are killing us?”

This is how feeble a mind Walsh possesses; he’s spent so much time around trannies, he’s absorbed their lies.

Walsh’s psychosis is spreading. During last week’s “AmFest,” TPUSA serial plagiarist Benny Johnson tweeted “The left is out here, killing us, and we’re in here squabbling and bitching about our feelings. Enough!” Dipshits like Walsh and Johnson, who embrace the platforming of Groyper Nazis, use “they’re killing us” as a scare tactic: “We can’t alienate the Nazis; we’re being killed daily, and we NEED OUR GESTAPO SHOCK TROOPS to protect us from the plague of MURDER!”

It’s at the point now where the mere suggestion to gatekeep Nazis is met with “oh, so you want us DEAD???”

Behold your intellectual leaders. Having Nazis on board is the only way to keep us alive. Nazis have gone from foes to literal saviors.

I so fucking hate you people.

Back to reality: you imbeciles are NOT being killed. Nobody is killing you. Walsh is not “being killed.” Charlie Kirk was killed, but it’s Walsh who supported platforming the loons who claim it wasn’t a “leftist” who killed him (as Walsh also urged platforming the Groypers who inspired the mass shootings in which nonwhites were not “theoretically” killed, but kill-killed).

By trying to convince you that you’re being killed, Walsh is attempting to induce mass paranoid schizophrenia. And many of you with minds that weren’t born sick are trying to make yourselves mentally ill, as if the gift of a non-diseased brain is a curse rather than a blessing.

Two weeks ago we saw the horrific consequences suffered by a family saddled with a paranoid schizo son. But you mouthbreathers likely read about Nick Reiner and said “Oh wow, that’s who I wanna be! A ghost-haunted liability to those around me, a demon-hunter who can’t be talked to or reasoned with. Chasing invisible enemies in my imaginary RPG; that’s the life for me!”

And that’s the GOP.

You look up to Nick Reiner. Not for killing a leftist HOLLYWEIRD commie, but for being your ideal: a schizo fully committed to the phantoms in his head.

That’s who you want to be. So go be him. Go be Nick Reiner. Have fun with the consequences, have fun dragging the GOP down with you.

And count me out of your madness.

If I come back in 2026, it’ll be with blogs about movies or local L.A. “hotel living” stories. And what better way for me to conclude my final political column, the one where I just berated the living shit outta you, than by asking for one more round of beers at Buy Me a Beer or GiveSendGo. An end-of-the-year tipjar clank would ring in the New Year with style.

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