For runners, cyclists, and triathletes, 'What are you training for?' is small talk - the endurance-world version of 'What's up?' There’s (almost) always something on the horizon that tilts the daily scales from being active to purposefully training.

It turns out that perspective may just provide a primary key to healthy aging. A recent study (Janssens, G.E., Trętowicz, M.M., Grevendonk, L., et al. Nature Aging 6, 1482–1500 (2026)) took muscle biopsies from both young and older adults. The researchers matched activity levels between young and old as they wanted molecular differences to be specific to aging and not simply decreased activity levels in older vs. younger adults. In other words - participants in the study were similarly active, regardless of age.

Then comes the fascinating part. The researchers separated the active older adults who were training (structured, sustained, purposeful sessions for over a year) from those who were equally active but not considered training. The active but not training group showed reduced cellular respiration and energy metabolism (how cells turn fuel into usable energy - and its decline is a marker of the aging process).

By contrast, in the older adults who were training, roughly half of the age-related differences were absent! They concluded it was the structured training - not simply the volume of activity - that preserved the youthful profile.

This wasn’t about being a serious athlete or engaging in competition. The “training” didn’t separate marathon training from training to hike a mountain, participate in a community 5K or cycling event, or preparing to play basketball with your grandkids. The training was the purposeful, outcome driven process that ensured a consistent, outcome-oriented and focused approach. The older adults in this group weren’t simply exercising - they were intentionally training. And, while it didn’t produce a fountain of youth (approximately 50% of age-related differences were still present), it certainly provided a good splash!

So what are we training for? Yes - life throws us curves. We all face new challenges through life’s second half we didn’t face in the first. Perhaps some favorite activities are now off the table. Maybe our stretch-goals of yesteryear are now pipe dreams. But that wasn’t the question. Those realities provide the context for the question - not an excuse to tap out.

What are we training for? It’s not just a casual question for those who consider themselves athletes. It’s a lifeline pointing a way forward for all of us - because we are not… done… yet!

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The questions we ask ourselves shape the lives we live. They set the terms of our self-talk, filter our view of the world, and quietly shift our compass. Ready to change course? Turning 60 has created a natural landing for me to ask some tough questions. Here are 3 for those willing to join me in the journey forward:

1. Are there any leaks in my boat? The Foundational Four of Time, Money, Health, and Purpose are not intended to take the stage in our lives but they do SET the stage for what matters most. Notable gaps in any of these four can cause us to take on water and never get out of the harbor. Reflect honestly: packed schedules, mounting debt, dwindling fitness, a fading sense of purpose. Do any of these deserve a closer look and a committed response?

2. Are my current peers anchors pulling me under? Or launchpads moving me forward? Our 3 (now adult) kids grew up hearing their dad reminding them that we become the five people with whom we spend the most time. It’s a cheat code for living that holds true across almost every aspect of life. A Kellogg/Harvard Business School working paper on toxic workers found that sitting near a high performer notably elevated performance. Similarly, sitting near a negative employee not only dragged down performance but also increased likelihood of quitting.

3. Have I been settling? When was the last time I took on a new challenge? Stepped outside my proverbial comfort zone? Moved beyond society’s pull toward status quo mediocrity? Gravity is a powerful force and the 4-letter f-word (”fine”) is a readily available escape clause to remaining on the couch. But life - fully living - involves leaning into who we are ever free to become. It’s a life which was never available from the couch, in spite of the Sirens’ song calling from our screens.

Taking these questions seriously creates tension. But it’s in that tension where we move, stretch, and grow. Like the dragons of legend, the felt tension signals we are nearing the gold - and reminds us we are not... done... yet!

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Combs drops the nugget into the song’s second line — calling out his own passivity even as he actively shakes free of it. Which raises the question: Who - or what - is your drummer? Have we made the same move (consciously, or more likely not), holding the mic while handing over the count-off of the music itself?

Sure - reflection is valuable. But when does reflection turn into evasion... and then stagnation?

The quick decisions of our youth occur when we seemingly have all the time in the world. Then oddly, as the hourglass sands flow faster, we wait, pause, and delay. The irony would make Wonderland’s Lewis Carroll proud, flipping the looking glass in the process.

What are we waiting for? The same delay costs twice as much at 60 as it did at 30 - and yet we kick the can down the road, neglecting the reality of the road’s cliff sitting just beyond our gaze.

Or maybe I’m not actually waiting - I’m comfortably stuck. Life is “fine.” Why lean into a new challenge, take on something that stretches me when I don’t have to? The “been there - done that” crowd is life’s 2nd half antithesis of the destructive peer pressure of youth, missing the point that life expands relative to the challenges we face head on. Yes - “that” ship may have sailed, but there are plenty more coming in if we’re willing to get up, lace up, and go.

Newton named the drummer in his first law of motion: an object at rest stays at rest. But he didn’t mention that we have our own pair of drumsticks right there in our back pocket, ready to supply the course-changing force.

Friends - the drummer ain’t comin’. We can stay on the couch counting down the days, or we can call our own 1 - 2 - 3 - 4, cueing ourselves and the world that a song - our song - is underway. It’s a song that signals we are not... done... yet!

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Am I taking myself seriously?

Real question.

It started - oddly enough - with an online chess match. I was “playing” - moving the pieces. But I was more intent on moving a piece than on making the best move. I was participating, but I wasn’t engaged. Missed opportunities, reacting vs. strategizing, and focused on what’s “next” rather than what’s “now.”

Sound familiar?

Yeah - the irony of the game (non) strategy wasn’t lost on me. I realized it wasn’t limited to the stage of sixty-four squares. It was a much broader pattern of living; an apathy disguised as “relaxed” slowly seeping in...

• Seeping into my work, allowing AI to do my thinking rather than enhancing my outcomes.

• Seeping into my running by cutting corners with strength or interval training.

• Seeping into my friendships by substituting a text message for lunch, coffee or a conversation.

• Seeping into my marriage by treating someone extraordinary like our time is ordinary.

It shows up in what I wear, how I schedule, how I handle potential distractions, the way I treat my body (move/fuel/rest), my interactions with others, my preparation for the day’s opportunities, and so much more.

Am I taking myself seriously? Am I tuning in and giving my all to select pursuits? Or am I coasting on the energy of the past and missing out on what awaits around the bend?

We shouldn’t take ourselves ‘too’ seriously, you say? Ok - but let’s be honest: that’s rarely the problem. That’s the ghost of the high school ‘cool kids’ who convinced us that caring too much would affect our standing in their group. By now, we’ve realized it was never a group worth joining.

What if we did give our best effort toward specific pursuits? What if we did take ourself seriously, fully step onto the path, lean into the awaiting opportunity and go all in? Yes - we might fail. But full engagement makes for a great life. And, when we step back, we realize it’s the difference between existing and living.

Tip-toeing, holding back, acting nonchalant may follow the status quo encouraged by those around us - essentially the updated version of those “cool kids” who never ended up accomplishing much with their lives. What if - just for today - we tried the alternative: All in.

While our path may not end in a checkmate, the “all in” engagement changes the game. A game that, win or lose, reminds the world we’re not... done... yet!

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Who are you?

That is THE question. The keystone in the arch - the prime mover across every aspect of our lives. Our answer to that question makes most other questions - and stated answers - unnecessary.

So... who are you? (Who am I?)

Not what do you do... or where do you live... or what is your title... or your current 10K time ;-). Who are you?

This keystone catalyst - for better or worse - interprets our past, guides our present and determines our future. Once we’re clear about our identity, choices become easy, decisions simplified, and goals essentially achieve themselves.

That’s the problem, isn’t it? As we move into and through life’s second half, our identity, which once may have felt clear, becomes blurry. Or perhaps the reality is we never had a true identity. Maybe we spent the first half of our lives wearing the “what’s” (titles, degrees, accomplishments, etc) and never getting to the “who.” Now, as the protective shell of whats is shed, we naturally wonder what will be revealed inside.

Or... maybe the “problem” isn’t a problem at all? Maybe this emergence from the shell IS the opportunity - for the first time in our life - to explore, to fully realize who we are - our true identity.

And yet, the cracks - whether professional cliffs, athletic injuries, relationship changes, or any of life’s left turns - can be painful. The potential growth that follows involves a combination of scanning and shaping, a mix of tuning into who we’ve always been at our core and forming that identity going forward. Our words - critical vs. curious, aging vs. active, fine vs. fluid - matter. They don’t simply reflect who we “are.” They determine the flow in who we’re becoming.

And that flow provides the fuel for a life worth living, a legacy worth building, because we’re not... done... yet!

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For most, the default view of life’s second half involves a single lens: How much time is left.

That’s one dimension. Linear. A gradually closing window.

But what if chronological time - lifespan - isn’t your primary constraint?

Healthspan - the years within that lifespan during which we fully engage - adds a second dimension.

Marginspan - the hours available for engagement beyond the growing overhead of maintaining ourselves (rest, recovery, appointments, slower pace) - opens a third.

And then there’s a dimension that exists apart from the clock and calendar: Nowspan. The depth of a moment. Our presence inside it. It’s the dimension of multiplication - or hollow existence.

Over the past century, lifespan grew by 25 years while the other three quietly shrank. The result? Most of us spend our days in a black and white, one dimensional life, watching it pass by through an ever-shrinking window.

The alternative throws out the window altogether and installs an inviting, 4-dimensional door of opportunity in its place. A door available to any of us who are not... done... yet.

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Today is the day. The big 6-0. After a lifetime of planning, pushing through, saving, and dreaming. It’s finally time to step back, let off the gas, cozy up in that recliner and settle in, right?

Ha! Not... a... chance.

This is day one.

This life is just getting started! Sure - I could die tomorrow. By the same token, statistically I’m likely to hit 100. Whether the future involves 40 days or 40 years, it’s up to us - to me - to live each day to the full. Yet, while it is the proverbial first day of the rest of my life, it’s also a natural landing spot for reflection and gratitude. Looking back over 60 years makes one thing undeniably clear: we never do this alone.

• Suzanna’s encouraging grace-filled wisdom, love and often necessary nudges consistently steady my footing and direct my compass as we scale the peaks together.

• My parents’ quiet consistency through childhood gave me a launchpad I didn’t earn. And then, the deep joy of watching our own three kids blossom throughout their (now adult) lives keeps my eyes focused upward.

• The many others who - for reasons not always clear - believed in this energetic introvert’s ideas enough to go to bat on my behalf - in a country where those ideas could actually be chased. And, where failing (which I’ve done plenty of times!) doesn’t mean an end to the story.

Your reflective list looks different from mine, but I’d be willing to bet it’s of similar length. Such reflection, then, sets the stage for what you came for: a new launch point — a personal manifesto of seven commitments heading into my 7th decade...

The Manifesto

1. Keep picking up the pen. The story isn’t done yet. My choices, decisions, and actions are mine, filling the pen with intentional ink. New chapters, new volumes and perhaps even new stories await.

2. Ignore the noise. The critics. The headline chasers. The naysayers. The whiners. The settlers. The volume of voices urging a slower pace, a pause of purpose and an end to adventure’s call will grow ever louder. Yes - life will continue to change, but I will remain upward aiming and forward oriented — all the way through the finish line tape!

3. Create meaningful margin. No margin? No mission. That’s how it works. While this may be obvious in business (profit margin allows the organizational vision to come to fruition), it’s just as true in life. I am committed to creating margin across all aspects of life and invest it meaningfully in those who will then do the same.

4. Sound the alarm and raise the lighthouse! Those of us in life's second half represent one of the world's most valuable natural resources — IF we wake up and tune into our call to adventure. And as I daily commit to that tuning in, I will amplify the alarm and keep the lighthouse burning for others.

5. Refuse the “all things being equal” default setting. You knew this was coming ;-). Yes - age is “a” factor when it comes to our physiology. But it is not THE factor. I may never break 33 min in the 10K again, but I’m also not required to follow the 1%/year downward physiological slide based on “all things being equal.” The data is based on (poor) general population fitness & fueling trends. That’s not us - and I’ll do my best to ensure it’s not going to be me.

6. The Arena. I will continue to step into the arena - pulled forward as a writer, entrepreneur, friend, father, believer and athlete. Not because it’s comfortable, but because “fine” was never - and will never be - the goal. I will embrace the fog as a gateway, not a dead end — staying curious when clarity is absent, stoking the available embers as they appear.

7. Be a Catalyst. The catalyst exists for one purpose: to help create positive change in, for and through others without burning out in the process. The goal. The target. The reason I'm here. I'm not for everyone and I'm OK with that. True when I was bagging groceries at age 16 and encouraging my co-workers to start running. True every step of the way, from physical therapist to youth director, Dad, coach, columnist, friend, executive, athlete, entrepreneur, Gramps, author. And nothing about it is changing now. In the end, it's never about us. But through the process, it is up to us to actively step up and step in. Not hide our gifts under a bowl, but to smash that bowl against the rocks, hold our light high, and be a catalyst.

After all, regardless of where we are in this journey through life’s second half, as long as we’re on the journey, we know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that we are not... done... yet!

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When was the last time you felt fully alive?

Not “fine.” Fully alive.

You remember. Focused energy flowing through you. Purpose-driven clarity driving distractions to the periphery.
A passion, burning internally - moving you forward with intention. Win or lose, you were in the game. Fully.

Then somewhere along the way, we arrived. We’re here. We finally made it! Lower the sails. Drop the anchor. And sit.

And yes, the calm waters provided a nice, much needed, break from the storms. But that was yesterday, and over time we find ourselves sitting comfortably in our safe, little cove as our wood rots and our compass rusts. We’re not unhappy. Nothing’s really “wrong.”

But what if “it” - the destination, the arrival, the having-made-it - was never the point? What if the real “it” was the internal fire that moved you? The harbor simply stoked that fire. It was the raising of the sails that made you come alive.

The anchor is still yours to weigh. The fire is still yours to claim.

Alive isn’t a place. It’s a way of living.

Because we’re not... done... yet.

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It’s back
Or maybe I’m back?

The fire... the drive... the passion

IT

Where did it go? Why does it leave?
Why now, the sudden emergence?

I’ve missed you
Your spark. Your nudge.
Your wink (we’ve got this!)

The me that makes me me
The lens of what could be

What is it? They ask
My words make no sense

How to get it?
I shrug. Uncertain

But here you are
And here we go

The whisper, the song, the dance
Maybe you were here all along

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In a few hours, the annual March Madness basketball tournament tips off. Buzzer-beaters. Upsets. Brackets blown up by day’s end.

Our family and friends have been doing a tournament pool for more than 20 years - and last year our two-year-old granddaughter won it. Which should tell you everything you need to know about our predictive abilities.

But when it comes to life’s second half, a different kind of madness can have a tendency to take over.

Not March Madness.

Marching Madness. A lockstep approach to “living” that slowly blinds us to what living actually means.

Living - for those - like you - who refuse to settle - isn’t simply biological existence. It’s not the quiet, routine-centric march of days turning into years. Fully living requires engagement. Curiosity. Presence. Not simply being present and accounted for, but actively participating!

Which brings us to a fascinating insight from philosopher Gabriel Marcel...

Actively Maintaining Permeability

Nearly a century ago, Gabriel Marcel wrote that “creative fidelity consists of maintaining ourselves actively in a permeable state” (and in doing so, life expands). In other words: remaining open to the ever-changing world around us.

Actively maintaining permeability. Phew! That gets more difficult with each passing year, doesn’t it? We want dependability - not permeability! With each lap around the sun, our soil slowly hardens.

Certainty replaces curiosity.

Habits replace exploration.

The ground becomes compacted, resisting the very air, water, and nutrients producing growth.

But we’re here (both reading this series and our presence in the world) to grow. We don’t want to simply get older. Anyone can do that. The real invitation is to grow older. And such growth requires permeability.

The challenge is that permeability - with soil or life - doesn’t happen on it’s own. Setting the stage for growth requires something intentional: Aeration. Literally puncturing small holes in the surface so air, water and nutrients can reach the roots.

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Aeration Strategies

Let’s (you and me both) try a little aeration. This isn’t dramatic reinvention. It’s just a few small punctures in potentially hardening ground.

• Daily Routines - Automating positive choices (activity, sleep, fueling, etc.) is valuable. Done well, it reduces the need for discipline or motivation. But over time something subtle takes hold. Wise automation can drift into mindless autopilot. Our worlds shrink - not intentionally, but gradually.

  • Aeration Alternative - Pick one and poke a hole. Select something you automated 5+ years ago and mix it up. You’re not suddenly jumping off a cliff. You’re simply taking in some new scenery.

• Entertainment - When it comes to music and entertainment, we’ve spent decades refining our tastes. So why change now? Because artists - throughout history - have been the cultural accelerants of new ideas - a very foundation of growth.

  • Aeration Alternative - Text a friend or family member in their 20’s and ask them if they’d be willing to put together a playlist of some of their favorite music for you. Or - pull up a recent Top 50 Albums or movies list and get started. As a guy raised on 70s and 80s music, leaning into new artists has been a treasure trove. In fact, recent discovery Erykah Badu is playing in the background as I write this - outstanding!

• Tribes - Similar to daily routines, tribes (including everything from political parties to running clubs, churches to sports teams and everything in between) can provide immense value and simultaneously turn off our brains to critical thinking. Doesn’t apply to you? When was the last time you took a left turn when your tribe turned right?

  • Aeration Alternative - Engage in a little exercise called steel-manning (vs. straw-manning). Pick a view your tribe disagrees with and write it out clearly, asking what assumptions, values or evidence would make it convincing. Then reflect, considering which aspects are valid or useful. The typical alternative - straw-manning - oversimplifies and avoids true reasoning. While this may not result in a different decision, it does move us beyond superficial talking points into open-minded thinking.

• Books - What was the last book that genuinely changed the way you see the world? Too often, our reading habits become intellectual comfort food. We tend to “pick & stick.” Our fiction follows a similar script and our non-fiction confirms our pre-conceived ideas, turning both into little more than box-checking rinse & repeat activities.

  • Aeration Alternative - Is there a book or subject that you avoid because it conflicts with your pre-conceived notions? I’d be embarassed to share the list of books I steered clear of for decades - books that now line our home bookshelf with plenty of notes in the margins. Start with one and see where it leads.

• Hobbies - Life’s second half isn’t only about doubling down on existing hobbies. We’re no longer limited to a singular option as we garner additional flex in our schedules. Sometimes the magic happens when we move beyond addition to multiplication! Instead of another hour of the same activity, what happens when we try something new?

  • Aeration Alternative - Beginner status provides a free pass. From painting to pickleball, piano lessons to creative food prep, we enter each of these new arenas with zero pressure and an easy exit. How freeing is that?!? What’s one new possibility coming to mind as you’re reading this?

In the history of the NCAA basketball tournament, not a single team seeded outside the top 11 has ever made the Final Four. Ever! 93% of the national champions have been seeded 1 through 4. Logic would suggest trimming the bracket from 64 to 16 (or maybe 32) teams. But that’s where the fun is! The Cinderellas bring the tournament alive!

Perhaps the same could be said of us. As we move through life’s second half, our (self-imposed) marching orders often feel established.

The routines are set. The tribes are chosen. The habits are hardened.

So why try to teach an old dog new tricks - even if that dog is looking back at us in the mirror?

Because that’s the essence of living.

The courageous leap toward the self we are still becoming.

The upward-aiming pull toward possibility.

The quiet call to adventure waiting just beyond our familiar routines.

For until the day we break through the finish line tape, we are not... done... yet.

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Once upon a time - not so long ago - the (potential) hero went to work, came home, sat on the couch, and lived passively ever after...

Passivity... the telltale sign we’ve settled in for the warm, winter’s nap of status quo’s mediocrity through life’s second half. However, it hardly stops there. Passivity is the drifting ship... seeking pitiful comfort... becoming an empty vessel. And most days - it doesn’t feel dramatic. It just feels normal. However, it’s a signal that while we may still be breathing - we stopped living long ago.

The great thinkers knew the dangers accompanying - not risk - but passivity. They viewed it not simply as laziness, but the very essence of moral, physical, cognitive, and spiritual failure. Failure! A word whose very etymology originally pointed toward a deficiency. Passivity indicates we’re missing something important.

Before you start that email to me about the importance of similar-sounding words like stillness or peacefulness, realize those are active - not passive - approaches to life’s challenges. Passivity isn’t just laziness. It’s what Nietzsche called a “Will to Nothingness” - a refusal of Kierkegaard’s “Leap of Faith” - the essence of what Tillich described as non-being. Even scripture’s urging to “wait upon the Lord” is an active, expectant, aligning and listening approach to life.

Yet - for most - passivity reigns supreme. As I engage with individuals across the country about life’s second half journey, their eyes light up, their hearts expand, and they identify a multitude of ways in which they might step into awaiting opportunities. But far too often, the spark is quenched, drowned by over weighted risks along with the safety and comfort of long-expired excuses.

The safety and comfort of expired excuses. That one might be worth a bit more exploration as a first-half dragon that long ago lost its flame. In spite of the dragon’s withered state, we (yes - I’m there with you) consistently allow it to trap us in a labyrinth of our own making, cutting us off from our call to adventure.

The call - whether large or small - awaits each of us. It’s always there... waiting... knocking. We feel the vibration of opportunity, but then immediately reach into our trusty bag of excuses for a shield of protection - a shield allowing us to continue on our passive pathway to nowhere. “I have to work...” “It’s too expensive...” “My knees are bad...” “I’m too busy...”

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I’ve heard them all. Heck - I’ve used most of them! Sure - these may have rung at least partially true at one point in time. Do they still apply? Maybe. But often, when we take a closer look, we discover the realities of life’s first half (when working 60 hour weeks, raising a family, commuting regularly, watching every penny, etc.) are no longer applicable - or at least don’t carry the same weight as they once did.

Which leaves us with the comfort aspect of our expired excuses. Have we come to lean on the “easy out” we previously created? Have our first-half reasons given us a ready-made cloak of invisibility for more couch and screen time - or simply more status quo and less status GO? Are we reaching back in time and missing out on the path forward?

Mark Twain reminded us the individual “who does not read has no advantage over the one who cannot read.” He might have said the same about our approach to writing our own story (and if he wouldn’t, I will). Choice unused is indistinguishable from no choice at all. No - we don’t control every aspect of our lives. No - we cannot take full credit for where we are in life. But yes - our choices, decisions and actions do matter. They are instrumental in writing our story.

But it’s up to us, if we choose, to pick up the pen.

What dragon has long since lost its flame in our lives - yet continues to hold us captive? Maybe it’s time we take hold of the pen, look out over the horizon, and start a new chapter with the words; “You’ll never guess what happened next...”

Now THAT is a story I’ll look forward to reading - and one you might enjoy writing too. It’s a story, my friends, that shifts mediocrity to meaning, box-checking to big dreams, and passivity to purpose. And in the process, our community, our world becomes a better place because we made an active decision that we’re not... done... yet!

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Looking back on life’s first half can appear as a massive funnel. We begin our journey as a blank slate, soaking in a veritable plethora of new sensations, experiences, insights and more. The funnel’s wide opening provides a vast scoop for gathering the new, the surprising, and the never considered. Over time, as these make their way down the funnel of our developing ideas, plans, and views, our perceived need to continue collecting additional insights simultaneously narrows.

On one hand, this narrowed focus can be extraordinarily valuable, allowing us to focus our vision and direct our path forward - whether that’s building a career, raising a family, or mastering a craft. The funnel provides quicker decisions, enhanced toolboxes and a clarity of direction.

Until it doesn’t.

As we move through life’s second half, the funnel can narrow to the point of creating blinders. We already “know” the answer. We are certain about the most effective steps to success. We no longer feel a need or desire to seek out new information (or so we’ve convinced ourselves). We’re locked in - professionally or personally - or both.

New information is seen as an unnecessary distraction within our successfully busy daily grind. But what if we considered flipping the funnel?

Oliver Wendell Holmes reminded us “A mind stretched by new experience can never go back to its old dimensions.” As a physician, poet, professor and dean of Harvard Medical School, his life provided a real-world flipping of the funnel.

What if, instead of evolving into the all-knowing “get off my lawn” guy, we did the same, viewing our growth through life as an ever expanding palete of curious exploration? Rather than assuming we already have all the answers, what if instead we tuned into the realization the world is ever changing? What if we opened our eyes to the truth that yesterday’s answers are yesterday’s answers. And what if we recognized that intentionally expanding - not shrinking - our funnel is the key to ongoing meaning, purpose and impact?

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Are we simply “getting” older as we move through life’s second half? Or are we intentionally “growing” older? What appears to be a simple distinction between two 7-letter words is nothing of the sort - and the difference quietly shapes how we show up in the world.

As I slide into my 60s this year, I can be pretty set in my ways. However, I’m also trying out new run training strategies, exploring a range of music I’ve ignored over the years, experimenting with different daily rhythms, and expanding my reading list. Yes - I certainly like my routines! But by flipping the funnel, the discoveries may just blossom into fields of opportunity, new friends, and expanded insights.

A favorite quote from Matt Fitzgerald states “In every race, something within each athlete poses a simple question: ‘How bad do you want it?’ To realize your potential as an athlete, you must respond with some version of this answer: More. And then you have to prove it.”

We face a related question far beyond sport with each day’s rising of the sun: ‘Are we content to settle for our established status quo?’ To realize our potential growth and contribution through life’s second half, we must respond with some version of this answer: No!

And then we have to prove it.

Flipping the funnel sets that proof in motion and makes it clear: we are not… done… yet!

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I’m struggling. Discouraged. Low energy. Little internal drive. Lost in a mental fog. Zooming out, I know my momentary and ridiculously minor struggles pale in light of the suffering happening both around the world and across the street. This realization, then, adds a sense of “what do I have to complain about?” guilt to the melancholy feelings.

Now what?

I “know” the right answers. I’ve spent a lifetime writing and speaking on the subject: Move, Fuel, Rest, Connect and get outside. Yet - in this moment - such advice falls on my own deaf ears. The salvation of perspective is clouded by a darkness refusing the light summoned in the beginning.

My mind reflexively turns to the thinkers who shaped me, their timeless wisdom sitting on the bookshelves just beyond my desktop. The Stoics urged stripping the emotional drama from the feelings and viewing melancholy rationally. Nietzsche saw it as a creative force, a sculptor of our future self. Tillich suggested it was the shaking of the foundations that move us beyond our current status quo. Kierkegaard, leaning on the scriptures, saw it as the antidote to living for the next “high” (experience, romance, etc.), and the springboard for the soul’s “leap of faith.” Aristotle couched melancholy as necessary for bringing out greatness in the individual.

Friends and family are available to provide an encouraging word, a dash of perspective, a listening ear. 200+ vinyl records sit beneath the turntable, offering an introvert’s alternative. Yet, right now, none of that moves me. I prefer to sit... alone... in the silence... staring out the window at the horizon.

Maybe you’re in a similar place and feeling stuck. Or perhaps you’ve been there repeatedly and came “here” seeking a rock-hammer of sorts for future escapes. How do we venture forward without falling into Pollyanna territory? How about I’ll keep typing and maybe we’ll discover something together.

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Time - Over the years, I’ve learned that periods of melancholy, if not exacerbated by sleep loss, occur about once a month and last 1-2 days. That’s my pattern, not the pattern. Your pattern may be more or less frequent, last much longer or conclude much quicker. However, tuning into such patterns - if they exist - provides a roadmap for expectations when they do return.

Powder kegs - If I do have anything of value to offer on this subject, this may be it. Our natural tendency when in the midst of such melancholy is to reach for a brightly shining external light source (gambling, sex, drugs/alcohol, and other angels of light). They never provide a lasting solution. Instead, that light often turns out to be kerosene-doused flames causing permanent damage.

Curiosity - We are not alone in our journey. While duration and intensity vary between and within individuals, melancholy periods are a part of being human. Knowing this in advance, what is it whispering to me? What might I hear or learn as my body slows to a halt and my mind sits idle?

‘Why has the fog returned?’ may be our default question. But perhaps ‘Who am I becoming?’ is the one that leads us home.

Thanks for listening, and for walking this path with me -- at least for today. The cornerstones (move, fuel, rest, and connect) clearly play an elevated role in moving us through the dark - even when we don’t feel like it. We know from experience that minimizing the comfort foods, maintaining (at least some level of) fitness activities, prioritizing sleep, and avoiding full seclusion hastens the sun’s return. But while we’re here, the opportunity emerges to tap melancholy’s quiet whisper and thus discover a new path - a path revealed in the darkness that will come to life as the light inevitably returns.

Because, my friends, as difficult as things feel today, we are not... done... yet.

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One of the primary questions we obsess about in life’s second half is simple: “Do I have enough?” We make estimates, meet with financial planners, and run endless simulations. Well done. Valuable steps. And yet in a classic “forest for the trees” moment, we invest countless hours in financial planning while neglecting healthspan planning entirely!

Healthspan is quite different from lifespan, but for most of us, it’s the more important of the two. Lifespan measures how many years we maintain a pulse. Healthspan emphasizes how many years we are able to fully live inside those available heartbeats.

Financial plans are built around baseline net worth, various growth/loss scenarios and likely or planned expenses. Healthspan plans are built around baseline net fitness, various growth/loss scenarios and likely or planned pursuits. Both systems can be shaken. Markets crash. Bodies fail. Diagnoses arrive uninvited, and impact our best-laid plans. Fortunately, these are exceptions, not the norm, and still benefit from wise planning. Additionally, unlike financial plans, healthspan plans do not benefit from bonuses or inheritances. They are up to you.

Unfortunately, we often neglect the “span” element of our healthspan. During a recent Second Wind Collective discussion about potential foundational cracks, most individuals assessed their health as being “fine.” Then I mentioned the Optimal 80’s qualifier and everything changed. Eyes dropped. Silence.

The Optimal 80’s

While we may see our health & fitness as being adequate for today, healthspan planning - like financial planning - takes the future into account. Statistically, we lose 1-2% of our strength, fitness, balance, and function each year after the age of 40 - all things being equal. With our finances, we can adjust (e.g., earn more money, spend less). The healthspan plan allows for similar adaptations as we look ahead to the options we’d like to have available through our 80s.

One of those options is to plan to “spend” less (money and fitness) in our 80s. If our vision is one of sitting on the couch watching Wheel of Fortune, then that clearly doesn’t require much money or fitness. However, you’re not reading this if that’s your vision. As I looked around the room of our Second Wind huddle, it was obvious they didn’t either - and it reformatted how they saw their path forward.

All Things Being Equal

Rewind: the data indicates a 1-2% per year drop in fitness all things being equal. Those last four words provide the opportunity. Let’s say you’re reading this thinking “yikes - my current health equity is already over budget and underfunded. What do I do?” What would you do if you were facing this scenario with your finances? You’d take a close look at your budget, make the necessary adjustments, and get back on track. Your health equity budget is built around the Catalyst Cornerstones of Move, Fuel, Rest, and Connect so do the same here: assess each in this new light and adjust as needed.

Or maybe you’re in a pretty good spot with your current health equity balance. But you DO have a vision for living a full and purpose-filled life into your 80s. Hearing the 1-2% loss/year after the age of 40 means you may run out of (fitness) money before expected. Now what are your options?

Back to those opportunity-bolstering four words: “... all things being equal.” No - we can’t stop time and age is obviously a factor. But it’s not the factor. Studies on masters athletes demonstrate they are able to maintain fitness levels comparable to the general population 20 or even 30 years younger. Don’t settle for allowing all things to be equal. It’s 1-2% per year - you’ve got this! Add a few minutes/week to your strength training routine. Extend your swim/bike/run/hike by 5 minutes or integrate a walk into your daily rhythm. Just like with our finances, reformatting an annual 1-2% modification early is palatable. A 35% drop after 20 years... means bankruptcy.

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Taxes on our Time

The potential cracks within the Foundational Four are never isolated. Time, money, health and purpose are intertwined throughout our lives. As we move into life’s second half, we’re often handed a “lump sum” of additional time. We then face a variety of ever-expanding taxes on our time based on the levels of health & fitness we bring into this phase.

• Energy Tax - One of the greatest benefits of elevated health & fitness is the ability to fully engage throughout our 16 waking hours a day. Physical and cognitive fatigue represent an ever-expanding tax as we age. The fitter we are, the lower the tax on each and every task.

• Property Tax - Property is valued by the function it provides. As our function declines — walking, lifting, climbing — we pay a higher tax in time. Everything takes longer, requires assistance, or slips out of reach. This tax rises for all of us eventually, but the longer we delay it, the more compound interest we earn on the tax savings.

• Maintenance Tax - This cost of keeping a system - in this case, us! - functioning also grows over time. Trips to the doctor, therapy, recovery from surgery and more are a part of life’s second half. The more we maintain through this phase of life, the less this tax cuts into our available time.

The previous discussion about fate, destiny and free will comes alive as we ponder our healthspan and the role we play - right now - in opening the door to our optimal 80s. Martin Buber reminds us fate is a closed system, based on the worldview that our future is already written, leaving us no choice but to simply survive. Destiny, in contrast, is a dialogue, the interaction between circumstances and free will. Our future self - our optimal 80s self - is calling us from the horizon, asking for a response.

We can choose to ignore that call, settle in, and call it fate. Or - we can spring from the couch, answer the call, fully engage, and be drawn to that self beyond the self. Like the day-old donuts sitting at arms length, Option A can feel tempting in the moment. But I know you. You’re all in on Option B, because clearly, you’re not... done... yet!

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PS - Dr. Cooper’s new project - The Catalyst Lab: Tiny Sparks. Enduring Insights. It provides 4 brief highlights (Explore, Discover, Leverage and Reflect) in a 60 second read. Access latest release here and subscribe (free) if you find a value. Thank you for your encouraging support. We hope it makes a positive difference.

Did you know what I was going to write in today’s column before reading it? A 2019 study demonstrated over 50% of word selection in our social media posts could be predicted via algorithms analyzing that of our friends.

Consider the power in that finding. Because if an algorithm can predict our words this accurately, it raises a more personal question: how much of our life is actually being chosen by us?

The average person has a vocabulary of ~5,000 words and the algorithm could accurately predict precisely the next word chosen over 50% of the time. That’s not 50% as in a coin flip. The algorithm had more than a 50% chance of being able to identify which of the 5,000 words in the individual’s vocabulary would be selected as the next word!

Set aside the weirdness for a moment. The bigger question - particularly in relation to our health, wellness & performance - is whether we’re satisfied going through life as a pawn of our tribes, an endpoint to the algorithm?

Autopilot is the algorithm’s fuel. As long as we aren’t thinking, we become more malleable, shaped by those around us to blindly (or at least drowsily) follow their leading. A study by Killingsworth and Gilbert noted we spend 47% of our day on autopilot, mindlessly and passively moving through our day. The study involved 2,250 people across a range of ages who were, at various random times, surveyed about their momentary focus. Outside of making love, every single activity involved a wandering mind at least 30% of the time. Interestingly, respondents indicated being happier when their minds weren’t wandering.

The opposite of a wandering mind? Engaged! If you’ve ever been engaged or around someone recently engaged, you know the word is spot on! Stepping across that line from wandering to engaged shifts the focus. Wandering mind? No chance.

This state of engagement (in relationships, careers, hobbies or life) is often short-lived, as we slide back into autopilot. This explains those fleeting moments of clarity or motivation that feel real - and then quietly fade. Statisticians call it Regression to the Mean: occasionally, things pop outside their norm, but over time, we return to our historical average.

Autopilot even infiltrates our (supposedly engaged) conversations, with “I’m busy!” as our autopilot response to how we’re doing. Culturally, being busy is seen as good - but it reminds us that our days are filled with preselected demands rather than intentional choices.

Wait. Our days are filled (passive response) with the (external) demands? No wonder the algorithm can so accurately predict our next choice. We’re not making the choice in the first place!! Like a dog chasing its tail, this pattern compounds day after day (after day). The danger here isn’t character - it’s conditioning.

Over months, years, and decades, this can lead to what Professor Martin Seligman termed Learned Helplessness - the sense that we can’t change our circumstances, further reducing the likelihood of purposeful action.

Momentarily, I’m going to load up the submarine and go deep into MacLeish’s statement. But first, here are two simple ways to begin interrupting the algorithm that may be quietly ruining - or at a minimum, running - your life.

1 - Identify your tribes and their “rules.” We are all part of various tribes, which is a valuable and important part of being human. The problem arises when we give these tribes power to make our decisions for us - when we allow them to drive our algorithm.

Interestingly (alarmingly?) studies note our IQ drops when functioning as a group (tribe) when compared to our baseline independent IQ level. Tribes may include political parties, sports teams, churches, fitness groups and so on. Join in! But maintain your own identity. Engage with value, but don’t let the tribe control your actions.

2 - Assess your own thoughts within your tribe’s rules. Where do you diverge? DO you diverge? The less we diverge, the more entrenched our algorithm. Divergence is often the first visible evidence that your life is no longer being written by default.

Bonus exercise: Write down 3 tribes to which you belong and try to identify (at least) one subject on which you go against the grain. Are you going with the flow? or thinking for yourself?

Going Deeper

Returning to MacLeish… While he’s quoting a Chinese poet, he captures a universal lesson for us: “We struggle with Non-being to force it to yield Being. We knock upon silence for an answering music.” Notice the active verbs: struggle, force, knock. We cannot break the algorithm passively. We are called to knock upon the silence, refusing to permanently accept apparent nothingness, dead ends, or blank pages.

The “being” waiting to be revealed in our lives requires purposeful action. It is moving beyond Thoreau’s claim that we “live lives of quiet desperation, (going) to the grave with the song still in them.” Breaking the algorithm brings the answering music - the song only we can sing - out of the silence.

This music doesn’t come from forcing action or filling the quiet. It emerges when we truly listen to the space already around us. In that action-guiding listening, in that stillness, we sense the call of our own life waiting to be heard. It is the essence of yielding our true “being.”

A “being” that is not... done... yet.

PS - Dr. Cooper has launched a new project - The Catalyst Lab: Tiny Sparks. Enduring Insights. It provides 4 brief highlights (Explore, Discover, Leverage and Reflect) in a 60 second read. You can access the latest release here or the initial version here and subscribe free of charge if you find it to be of value. Thank you for your encouraging support. We hope it makes a difference for someone.

Our answer to the question isn’t simply philosophical fodder - it determines our path forward. Do you see fate - the circumstances entering our lives - as a closed system, in which our future is essentially determined by those circumstances merging with our genes and our past?

Or - do you see destiny as a dialogue, in which your future self is calling you from the horizon, asking for a response? Or, as Martin Buber might say - the moment itself is asking for your response. Free will involves actively participating in the journey.

Actively participating in the journey. Don’t you love that? The merging of fate (the circumstances) and free will (how we respond to the circumstances). Coming back to the real world, it’s one thing to say we believe in free will... quite another to live out that belief.

Food, Fitness, and Free Will

The Catalyst Cornerstones of Move, Fuel, Rest, and Connect are simple in concept, but often difficult in context. Dial in these four essentials and all the other health & wellbeing headlines combined become little more than a rounding error. We get that... and yet... we often still allow our circumstances - rather than our free will - control over our lives.

For example, we have a solid fueling foundation at home. Then a business trip or a series of dinner meetings throws us off. Between airport food and client dinners, what can you do?? This is the exact moment where fate presents circumstances - and free will decides whether we will participate.

That’s precisely the right question - “What CAN I do?” It’s relatively easy to pack healthy snacks, and almost every airport now offers a plethora of healthy food options - if we look. Dinner meetings? Balance - not perfection. Enjoy, while also engaging your free will. Access smart options earlier in the day and consider readily available strategies at dinner. Dressing on the side? A single glass of wine? Skip the empty calorie bread? Smaller portion options? You get the idea.

Or perhaps we’re in a good fitness routine - regularly integrating our activity of choice into our weekly rhythm. Then we get injured, head out on vacation or the same business trip noted above. Those are significant barriers - what can you do? Again - this isn’t the absence of choice, but rather the invitation to choose differently.

• Trips? Select hotels with gyms (readily available), pack your shoes and schedule it like any other meeting. Then modify your routine rather than hitting the eject button. We maintain most of our established fitness 7-10 days if we include a little stimulus. Can’t hit the gym for an hour but could nail a 30 minute session most days? Great! Adapt - don’t abort. Along the way, look for expanded opportunities for steps, standing, and stairs.

• Injured? Ah yes - I’m well acquainted with this one. Can’t run? Then bike or swim. No bike? Elliptical, swim or row. No deadlifts? Consider a hex bar, and on and on. The key is maintaining your fitness placeholder. The individual who sees an injury as an “out” is missing the original point of being “in.” Remember: It’s much (much!) easier to STAY in shape than to GET in shape. Additionally, while there are exceptions (don’t treat this as medical advice), alternative activity also generally speeds our healing rate.

Free Will Participation

What CAN I do? Engaged participation is the difference between being stuck in fate’s circumstances and seeing those same circumstances as variables that open the door to free will. Today will not go as planned. Unexpecteds will occur. Do we throw up our hands in exasperation? Or pause, consider, and move forward while taking these new circumstances into account?

In the end, that is the question life is asking each of us.

Food and fitness examples are relatively straight-forward. The real challenge comes with health issues, financial struggles, relational barriers, unexpected demands, or other left-field variables. Life is difficult, and the second half isn’t exactly a walk in the park. It presents a multitude of never-ending, challenging circumstances. When they appear, we listen for our future self, calling out to us from beyond the horizon, asking for a response.

And in that moment, we stand up, wipe the dirt from our hands, and remember we’re not... done... yet!

PS - Dr. Cooper has launched a new project - The Catalyst Lab: Tiny Sparks. Enduring Insights. It provides 4 brief highlights (Explore, Discover, Leverage and Reflect) in a 60 second read. You can access the latest release here or the initial version here and subscribe free of charge if you find it to be of value. Thank you for your encouraging support. We hope it makes a difference for someone.

Most of us are quietly playing a game we never chose — consistently trading one part of our life to keep another from collapsing.

We trade time and health for money.
We trade money for purpose and time.
We then try to buy back our health with what we already spent.

And the cycle keeps repeating.

Last year, we explored this pattern through what I call the Foundational Four: Time, Money, Health, and Purpose — life’s endless game of whack-a-mole. Cracks in any one of these foundations limit our ability to respond to what Joseph Campbell called our “call to adventure.”

That article, however, left one essential question unanswered: How does “margin” apply to Purpose, the fourth of the foundational elements? We inherently understand the organizational concept of “No margin? No mission” in our lives involving finances, health, and time. These are clearly resource-based constraints. If there’s nothing remaining after “expenses” (whether those expenses involve money, energy or availability), then it’s not possible to live into a bigger mission. It’s survival mode - period.

But purpose? It’s not a resource in the same way time, money and health are. It isn’t something we run out of. Rather, it’s constrained by perception - by what we notice, what we ignore, and what we give our attention to. The cracks - the lack of available margin - don’t appear because there isn’t “enough.” In other words, purpose margin isn’t about quantity. It’s about clarity. Our purpose margin, instead of being an income-to-expense ratio, is a signal-to-noise ratio. The signal is that pull we feel in the quiet moments, the invitation to something more, that won’t seem to leave us alone. The noise is our busyness, our seeking identity in future outcomes, or our thinking the meaning of life is “out there somewhere.”

Stated simply: the more noise, the less margin. The clearer the signal relative to the noise, the greater our capacity - our margin! - to hear and then answer the call, the invitation, the internal pull, embedded in this - and every - moment.

Time, money, and health margins create potential options and reduce limitations. Purpose margin, in contrast, creates clarity to live into the invitation awaiting us beneath the surface. No margin - no mission? Without the clarity provided through the purpose margin, we have no way of knowing the mission exists in the first place, creating a MASSIVE foundational crack!!

OK - this is feeling a bit abstract here, Coop. I get the concept - reduce the noise and lean into this call to adventure, still small voice, tug of the heart, etc. But where do we start here in the real world? While the path is unique for each of us, the following strategies provide practical ways to enhance our purpose margin...

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Reduce the noise

The noise drowning out the desired signal comes in many forms, and we’re currently living in the noisiest period of human history. But that doesn’t mean we’re stuck on high volume. Here are a few initial noise-muffling strategies:

• Assess your non-sleeping/non-working quiet moments. How many of the remaining (approximately) 8 hours available for commuting, errands, upkeep, fitness, hobbies and relaxation involve silence - no music, podcasts, TV, social media, texting, conversations, etc.?

• Consider how your answer might be affecting your (purpose) signal quality.

• Act on your findings - gradually. The majority of us (myself included) realize the noise is essentially non-stop. Noise is the default. Silence is the exception. Identify 1-2 steps to creating small, intentional noise-blocking sections of your day. Examples might include:

  • Quiet commute 2-3 days/week

  • Create podcast/music/phone/TV free periods between 4-7 each day, when your mind is free to wander while eating, doing dishes, playing with the dog, etc.

  • Adopt the unique Journaling 2.0 strategy discussed here.

  • Leave the ear buds at home for your next run/walk/gym session.

  • In addition, consider scheduling an occasional retreat away from all electronics and distractions. Suzanna and I do this annually to ponder our lives, marriage, family, business and finances. Invaluable noise blocking time, while also leading us into part II...

Enhance the signal

Once the noise is turned down, we can then more easily tune into the signal. This involves small but intentional adjustments available through three practical avenues: Settings, Sparks, and Glimpses. Each provides a boost to the invitation quietly calling us forward.

• Settings - In the early days of cell phones, it wasn’t unusual to hold the phone in different spots to find a clear signal (”can you hear me now?”). That’s the idea here - identifying a setting where the signal becomes clear. This could be the above-mentioned retreat or a mountaintop, but it could also be sitting with a cup of coffee looking out your window or staring into the fireplace from your couch, a walk in the park or a drive through the country.

• Sparks (external) - Tuning into the invitation or meaning available in the moment can feel at times like building a campfire without matches. We’re ready - but we need a spark. In life, these sparks may include books (biographies, scripture, or powerful thinkers like Tillich, Buber, and Rohr), articles that stretch us or films that stir our hearts. They might involve engaging a coach, joining a small group discussion, meeting with a mentor.

  • Additionally, creating voluntary friction via choosing (healthy) discomfort without external pressure can create a gateway to insight. Training for a race, signing up for a class, or similar pursuits existing out beyond ourselves can provide a powerful spark.

• Glimpses (internal) - Noting Campbell’s “call to adventure” is easy to see in biographies and films (from Star Wars and Rocky to Disney classics) but often much more difficult to notice in our own lives. Glimpses provide a peek, and those peeks leave clues.

  • A glimpse is a moment when you’d like to freeze the frame - not to post it - but to fully soak it in. These are moments when your life briefly makes sense from the inside - a reflection of the “Clear eyes, full hearts” from Friday Night Lights. In these moments you find yourself living out the best version of yourself. It may be a memory from years ago or something you experience later today. These moments are not random. They are information.

It is futile to try to possess these moments, but we can begin to recognize them, silently whispering “this… this... this” - marking a moment worth paying attention to. And when we do, we can learn from them and shift back into practical mode with the following 3 step process:

1. Name the glimpse (the “this” moment)

2. Name the role (who were you being - not what were you doing, but how you were showing up)

3. Name the edge (what kind of person could I become who would help create more moments like this?)

Try it. You may be surprised by the developing clarity (I was). Talk it over with your coach. Share it with a friend. Glimpses don’t tell us where to go. They show us the kind of person we’re being invited to become.

The possibilities await - not “out there somewhere” but right here - right now.

So check for cracks.

Turn down the noise.

Boost the signal.

And begin to answer the invitation that’s already present in this - and every - moment.

Yes, it’s easier to follow the crowd, passively lean into comfort, and let the days blur together. But we resist the Siren’s song of ease, knowing that every situation, every moment, is filled with possibility.

And those possibilities bring life.

Because we’re not... done... yet.

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PS - Dr. Cooper has launched a new project - The Catalyst Lab: Tiny Sparks. Enduring Insights. It provides 4 brief highlights (Explore, Discover, Leverage and Reflect) in a 60 second read. You can access the latest release here or the initial version here and subscribe free of charge if you find it to be of value. Thank you for your encouraging support. We hope it makes a positive difference.

Somehow, we’ve fallen for it. We’ve allowed the mediocrity mindset to pervade what once was the heartbeat of fully living. Rather than accessing its intended springboard, we’ve turned down time into a downward spiral. We’ve flipped the intended purpose of life’s retreats into a passive escape from reality.

In the process, we’ve simultaneously capsized one of life’s most notable retreats - retirement - from being the intended spark for renewed contribution into a separation from responsibilities. On a more micro level, our time away from work (weekends, vacations, off-hours) has also morphed from preparation to passivity. While there’s absolutely a time and a place for a little R ‘n R, it’s certainly not all the time nor is it every place.

Martin Buber, in his 1923 classic I & Thou, identifies two different approaches to stepping outside our daily rhythms, responsibilities and routines…

By contrast, option B involves a pulling back from relation (both other people and life as a whole). It’s a place where we stop engaging with anything outside ourselves. It is a cutting off from encounter, responsibility and the very real presence of others. This isn’t retreat - it’s running away; fleeing from a life of meaning, purpose and deeper engagement.

Modern life points us to the second option and then fills the resultant vacuum with passive activities that entirely miss the mark. As our schedules garner enhanced flexibility through life’s second half, we’re simultaneously instructed to “stay busy” and “take it easy.” Huh? You’re telling me the goal is to fill up my days but avoid cognitive, physiological and philosophical rigor? To spend the available time, while avoiding investing in the essence of life itself?!?

A different approach to (p)retirement?

Intriguingly (perhaps surprisingly?), retirement and retreat share the same root word origin: In Old French, retirer; in Latin re-tirare/retrahere. Inherent in both was an assumption of return, not abandon. Our modern society generally understands the value of well-timed work, personal or spiritual retreats. They provide an opportunity to step outside daily pressures and distractions to allow deeper reflection, focus and planning (for the purpose of a more meaningful and valued return). Retirement (or pre-tirement for those in life’s 2nd half with growing flexibility)? Not so much. Conversations center on escape rather than engagement - on comfort over contribution.

Yes - relaxing downtime is good. It’s necessary within life’s flow. Rest is one of the Catalyst Cornerstones (Move/Fuel/Rest/Connect) for a reason. Taking an intentional step back is valuable, not as an escape but as a preparation for our call to adventure. Despite what the cruise ship marketers may suggest, real adventure calls us OUT of our comfort and is unrelated to 24/7 smorgasbords and drinks on demand. By all means - enjoy the cruise, the ski vacation, the spa weekend. Simply remain cognizant that the REAL adventure begins out beyond ourselves - not while we’re busy stuffing ourselves.

Ok Brad - we get it. Living fully in life’s second half isn’t about couches and cocktails. But I have no idea what this “call to adventure” might be? Where do I even start?

Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately?) there’s no one-size-fits-all prescription or 3-step plan available. We are each unique in our being and our life. But there is a posture that elevates our likelihood of hearing such a call, which takes us back to the retreat.

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A retreat could involve a weekend away from the distractions and pressures of daily life. But it also might simply involve sitting quietly on the beach, by the fire or at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in hand. It could occur while on a walk, looking out the window on a flight home, or sitting on a park bench.

Remember the initial definition of retreat? An intentional, active oriented strategy that assumes - is built to further enhance - a return. This doesn’t necessitate leaving town or googling nearby conferences. Rather - it can start right where you’re sitting. Move away from your computer, close your eyes... and listen. We’re listening not for planes, trains and automobiles but rather that still small voice. What we receive in that moment is likely to be more presence than content. More revealing than defining. It is a call - not a demand. A blossoming opportunity - not a requirement.

In that moment, meaning comes forth as a way of life rather than a destination. “The question about the meaning of life vanishes. Nothing can henceforth be meaningless” (Buber). And that meaning wants to be - must be - born into the world by and through us!

We (temporarily) step away in order to lean in... listen deeply... and allow it to fill us for the awaiting adventure.

Because we’re not done yet.

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PS - Dr. Cooper has launched a new project - The Catalyst Lab: Tiny Sparks. Enduring Insights. It provides 4 brief highlights (Explore, Discover, Leverage and Reflect) in a 60 second read. You can access the latest release here or the initial version here and subscribe free of charge if you find it to be of value. Thank you for your encouraging support. We hope it makes a difference for someone.

“I should journal” sits high on the long list of shoulds, right alongside food and fitness. But we don’t do shoulds here. Instead, this is an invitation — a journaling road trip — not to stoke the obligation to chop more wood, but to consider whether a small spark might kindle something meaningful in life’s second half.

1984. Not just the title of Orwell’s classic novel or Van Halen’s iconic album — it was also, in many ways, my beginning. Life had thrown some recent curve balls, and the Mayberry I thought I knew turned out to be a fictional sitcom. My first ever journal entry - “Well here goes...” was penned on September 2nd of that year during my first week of college. Initially, it was just a brief record of events. Over time, I began to notice something: I was using journaling to process a whole bunch of stuff that didn’t make sense in the moment. It became the place where confusion garnered (at least a little) clarity.

Fast forward to the early 1990’s. Journals begin to paint the picture of the woman would would forever change my life. I’m head over heels. She’s not...quite...sure. The capturing of fun moments... continued processing of a range of feelings... and key dates our kids would later ask about (1st date, 1st kiss, who said “I love you” first ;-)).

From 1993-2000 I apparently went undercover (two journals over 8 years vs. prior annual rhythm). Newly married, working two jobs, the birth of our three amazing kids; I simply didn’t automate the process into life’s quick-paced rhythm. However, though limited, the processing of struggles, concerns and crossroads continued. Additionally, something else began to surface: Dreams! (business and life), an addition that’s continued into the present.

Last week I started my 26th journal, covering - on and off - the past 42 years. Reading back through a few provided memories of life’s storms (and rainbows), while highlighting the faith, family and friends who accompanied the journey. It also reminded me I continue to struggle with many of the same anchors at age 59 as I did in my teens and twenties. And… the processing of this life’s crazy journey continued as well.

Whether or not we choose to journal, one of the greatest risks in life’s second half is slipping into an unexamined existence. We’ve accumulated experience, preferences and patterns that work well enough, and that very familiarity can quietly place life on autopilot. Reflection? Who needs it. But without it, we remain at surface level; rinse and repeat, day after day.

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Socrates famously noted “The unexamined life is not worth living.” I’d suggest what he really meant was “the unexamined life isn’t the fully lived life!” Living on autopilot isn’t really living - it’s box-checking. Leslie Lamport reminded us “if you’re thinking without writing, you just think you’re thinking.” Writing doesn’t solve life’s problems, but it helps creates clarity and a space where better questions emerge. Yes - there are other valuable tools and resources available (a coach, therapist, mentor, close friend). However, it’s certainly a powerful low-hanging fruit available to all of us who are not done yet!

Journaling 2.0

But you’ve tried journaling. It didn’t work. It’s just not you. You journal for a few days and then it fades away. Why try again now? Well, because maybe it’s not your shortcoming but rather the ridiculous “journaling rules” you’ve been sold over the years. You know - things like write everyday or write 1 page/day or whatever restrictions turned this beautiful opportunity into an obligation. Journaling 2.0 is altogether different from the fake version you may have tried in the past. There is no outcome to chase. Instead, it’s a path providing energy, clarity and a perhaps even deeper sense of joy. Let’s take a closer look...

Journaling 2.0 “Rules”

1. Sit in a quiet spot with pen in hand and journal open to empty page

2. Write the date

3. Then sit quietly with no distractions (phone out of reach) for 5+ minutes

That’s it. Success! You did it. I don’t care if you leave your quiet spot having written nothing but the date. Frankly, it doesn’t matter if you go days - or weeks! - with date after date on the page. You’ve engaged in the most important aspect - quiet reflection. Sure - most likely you’ll find yourself writing a few things. Maybe initially it’s a once/week recall of weekly highlights and struggles... then some thoughts about those experiences begin to bubble up... which may lead so some personal insights about next steps. Over time, maybe you begin to supplement your time reading a few lines from Tillich, Kierkegaard, Aurelius, scripture or other options and jot down a line or two.

Or maybe you don’t. This isn’t a new task - it’s a new doorway, a doorway available to all of us. A doorway that leads us to possibilities, ideas, or even closure. 5 minutes... pen in hand... write the date. You are now journaling - regardless of where it leads.

The best time to plant a tree is long past. What remains is something quieter, more important: noticing what’s grown, what may be leaning, and where the light is needed most.

Five minutes. Pen in hand. We’re not done yet.

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PS - Dr. Cooper has launched a new project - The Catalyst Lab: Tiny Sparks. Enduring Insights. It provides 4 brief highlights (Explore, Discover, Leverage and Reflect) in a 60 second read. You can access the initial version here and subscribe free of charge if you find it to be of value. Thank you for your encouraging support. We hope it makes a difference for someone.

“Remember your five!”

Those three words were my attempted contribution to our niece’s journey through her first year of college as our extended family gathered for dinner over the holidays. They mimicked the primary guidance I provided our three kids as they entered the same phase (most of their best advice came from Suzanna). The words are a reminder we - for better or worse - become the five people with whom we spend the most time. This applies to essentially all aspects of life, including work, play, fitness, fueling, curiosity, and everything in between. Show me the people you hang around and I can show you your future.

But our already wise niece turned the question around: “Who are your five, Uncle Brad?”

Oof. It’s always easier to give advice than to live it. I stumbled through some answer at the table, but the question stuck. Who are/who have been my “five” throughout the first 59 years here on earth? Exploring the answer opened my eyes to some interesting patterns and made it clear I’ve got a big gap at the moment.

Intriguingly, Kierkegaard noted the self is not an entity but a capacity. As a capacity, or potential, the self is often better understood as a verb than a noun. With that in mind, perhaps there’s something in the discoveries for both of us as we select the adverbs influencing our capacity through life’s second half...

1 - Our five shift over time. Here are some of my own trends:

• Parents, neighbor kids and athletes dominated the pre-teen years.

• Friends, teachers, books and musical artists took hold over the next decade.

• In my 30’s and 40’s, Suzanna’s influence blossomed, while co-workers, training partners and authors played an expanding role.

• My PhD supervisors stepped to the forefront in my 50’s, complemented by Suzanna’s guiding light, more books, and a couple of close friends.

• Entering my 60s, wisdom from our adult “kids” is growing, along with the expanded role of books. At the same time, a gap - one I’d managed to ignore - was forming (yes - I’ll get to that).

2 - Your five aren’t limited to friends and family. As mentioned, music and insights in books have always (always!) been part of my five. Lyrics taught - and still teach - me to dream, opening my eyes to possibility; books tap into wisdom across time.

3 - Friends (and we) change. Sometimes it’s due to shifting paths. Other times it’s a realization the previous mutually engaged friendship has pivoted and the reciprocity has eroded. It’s meaningful to remain a caring sounding board. Simply realize the unidirectional relationships may no longer be part of your “five.”

• Related: Appreciate - but don’t live in - the past. This is a lesson I’ve been slow to absorb, unwilling to adapt to peer groups as they naturally change over time. Sometimes, moving on becomes the necessary decision.

4 - Technology’s influence. Steve Jobs’ innovative product release in 2007 (the iPhone) often displaces our five. Social media can rapidly and easily open the door to unvetted influencers quietly capturing a spot in our five.

5- Intentionality. Whether we realize it or not, our choices determine our five, and our five determine our choices. The question isn’t whether our five will affect (drive!) our future. The question is whether or not we’re being intentional about WHO is driving that future.

So what was my gap discovery as I wrote this? While I’ve been intentional on the informational front (books and podcasts), fortunate on the inner circle front (Suzanna and our adult kids), and open on the curiosity front (music, authors, researchers), I’ve neglected the deeper connections outside of family. Yes, I’ve been purposeful about engaging with a wide range of new groups since our move to a new city. Running club events, local university options and small groups through our church have been valuable in expanding the width of my circles. However, I’ve neglected stepping out of the boat and into deeper connections. That is clearly the important gap awaiting my response.

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Is your own potential gap coming into focus? Here are five reflections to help you remember your five as you move forward:

1. Write down your five. Seriously - writing them down creates clarity. It forces us to consider the reality of what’s floating around in our heads.

2. Are the names on the list nudging you closer to or further away from the vision you have of your future?

3. Are the five all in a singular tribe (political, fitness, religious, academic, etc)? If so, that’s a sign worth reading...

4. Who might make a solid addition to your five? Why?

5. What’s the first step to an upgrade? I texted a friend to meet for coffee/lunch while writing this article based on my own gap. How about you?

With each passing year, our circles - and thus our capacity - naturally shrink and solidify. The alternative? If we’re awake, curious and brave enough to step into deeper water, our five can still move us forward and remind us... we’re not done yet!

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PS - Dr. Cooper has launched a new project - The Catalyst Lab: Tiny Sparks. Enduring Insights. It provides 4 brief highlights (Explore, Discover, Leverage and Reflect) in a 60 second read. You can access the initial version here and subscribe free of charge if you find it to be of value. Thank you for your encouraging support. We hope it makes a difference for someone.