2:13 a.m.

Why is this woman messaging me at this time? isn't she supposed to be sleeping or something?

I stared at my phone screen for a few seconds before picking it up.

My Favorite Bish🥹🌹! … Voice message.

Nine seconds.

I frowned. Tolu had never been a nine-second person.

If she called, you were either going to spend forty minutes listening to a story that should have taken five or you were going to hear, “Waitttttttttt, I haven't reached the hot part of the gist yet.”

If she sent a voice note, it was usually a very long one so a nine-second recording from Tolu at 2:13 in the morning felt wrong before I even played it.

I sat up against my pillow and hugged my teddy bear tightly. My room was dark except for the faint light from my phone.

For a moment, I considered calling her, just out of curiosity. Then I decided to chill and pressed play instead.

There was breathing.

Very ragged and uneven breathing.

Not the kind of breathing you hear when someone had just climbed a flight of stairs or run an 800m race.

This was lucid fear.

I knew Tolu's voice well enough to recognize it.

“Naya, please listen to me. Don't call me and whatever you do, don't let—”

The recording stopped.

I waited, Nothing.

I played it again, Same thing.

Nine seconds.

I looked at my phone screen.

2:14 a.m.

I hastily texted her.

“Tolu, what happened?”

I watched the message change from one grey tick to two.

Delivered, No reply.

I called, It rang.

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

Then the call ended.

I called again. This time, it went straight to voicemail.

I sat there in confusion, staring at her name.

Maybe her network had disappeared.

Maybe her battery was dying.

Maybe—

My phone vibrated. I almost dropped it.

A WhatsApp message from Tolu.

.

I stared at the single full stop then another message appeared.

“Please go to sleep.”

I stopped breathing for a second.

I read it again.

Something about it made my stomach turn.

Not because of what it said but because it didn't sound like Tolu.

Tolu would never say please go to sleep.

She'd have said, “Abeggg, your bed is calling you,” or “Why are you awake?” And if she was pissed, it would've been, “Naya, if you're still awake by this time, that's your business.”

I typed back quickly.

“Are you okay?”

Three dots appeared then disappeared.

Appeared again.

Disappeared.

I waited but nothing came.

I called her one more time. This time, her phone was switched off.

Real panic set in.

I listened to the voice note again. Nine seconds.

“Don't call me.”

Why would she tell me not to call her?

And what was she about to say before the recording cut off?

“Don't let—”

Don't let who?

Don't let what?

I opened our chat and scrolled up. The last proper conversation we'd had was earlier that evening. She'd sent me a picture of herself at a restaurant. I'd teased her about being a hot girl, and she'd replied, “Clock ittt!”

That was less than six hours ago. Nothing had seemed wrong.

I listened to the voice note again.

Uneven Breathing.

“Naya, please listen to me. Don't call me and whatever you do, don't let—”

I paused it. I didn't want to hear it again. I set my phone down beside me and switched off the screen.

Then I picked it back up to check her WhatsApp profile. Her last seen was hidden. Her profile picture was still there. She was smiling into the camera wearing the oversized sunglasses she'd bought in Abuja and insisted were original.

I almost called her boyfriend.

Almost.

Instead, I opened his chat.

Daniel.

The last message between us was from two weeks earlier.

“Happy birthday, Naya. God bless your new age.”

I put my phone down. I didn't want to involve him yet.

Maybe I was overreacting.

Maybe Tolu was fine.

Maybe she'd sent the voice note by mistake.

Maybe she was drunk.

Maybe—

A sound came from outside my room.

A faint scrape.

I froze.

My room was on the first floor. I listened.

Nothing.

Then it came again.

Scrape.

I looked towards the window. The curtains were closed. My heart started pounding and I broke out in a sweat.

I reached for the lamp.

My phone vibrated before my fingers touched it.

Unknown number. I opened the message.

“FORGET THE VOICE NOTE.”

I stared at the words, my mouth going dry. Before I could even blink twice, another message came in.

“SHE SHOULD HAVE KEPT HER MOUTH SHUT.”

I didn't sleep. I couldn't sleep.

At 6:41 a.m., Tolu's mother called. I knew something was wrong before I answered.

“Mummy?”

She didn't speak.

“Ma?”

I heard crying not loud crying but the kind that sounded like someone had been crying for a long time and had finally run out of strength.

My stomach dropped.

“What happened?”

“Naya…” Her voice broke.

I sat upright….“What happened?”

“They found Tolu.”

For a moment, I didn't understand.

“Found her where?”

“At her apartment.”

I waited.

“She…”

Her mother couldn't finish. I gripped the phone.

“Ma, is she okay?”

Silence.

Then I heard her sob.

And everything inside me went cold.

“No.”

The word came out before I could stop it.

“No.”

“She is gone.”

I don't remember what I said after that.

I don't remember hanging up.

I don't remember getting dressed.

I only remember standing in front of my mirror twenty minutes later, staring at myself and thinking about the voice note.

“Don't call me.”

“Don't let—”

Someone had killed my best friend and somehow the killer had figured out that I heard her last words.

There was a boy...No, scratch that.

A man.

A very fine, sexy man with beards that you wouldn't want to keep your hands off, caramel skin, a fine face, a sharp taper fade and he loved God or so I thought. In my head, I had actually won the jackpot.

But my brethren...The jackpot didn't even see the light of day.

Three years ago, we met through my roommate. It was his birthday, and she had posted him on her WhatsApp status. I looked at the picture and casually said, "Omo, this boy is fine o."

Immediately, she became so protective over him, and I was like, "Aunty, chillllll."…Apparently, he liked her at the time but she was already in a relationship. Instead of shutting it down, she was enjoying the attention.

Yeah...that kind of thing.

Witchcraft behaviour, if you ask me.

Anyway, somehow this man saw me on her snap and in his head it probably clicked that, "Mehnnnn, this girl is a goddess.

As it should be!

He found my snap, added me, somehow got my number and sent me a message. I still don't know how he got my number till today but that's gist for another day.

And just like that, our journey to almost forever began.

We settled into our talking stage and with time we realised we genuinely liked each other.

Well...At least, that's what I thought because in the middle of all those butterflies and feelings, there were already issues staring at me right in the face. For starters, we were long distance and that's already an established problem.

Then there was this particular girl, this girl irritated me to my core. I don't like that girl for anything.

Before he met me, they had something going on but even after we started talking, he never stopped talking about her. Everytime bolu this,bolu that..nna carry your mgbeke dey go front!

Omo...Red flag number one.

Then there was his insecurity..this man had trust issues for Africa.

Any small thing,”all those your small small boys🙄.." Very irritating statement.

Apart from that, he had one talent that deserved an award…Sleeping on calls. I'm not even saying that you should not sleep o but if you know that you wanted to sleep why did you now call me? Mtchewwwww.

It used to annoy me so much because tell me why the little time we're supposed to spend talking would end with this man snoring in my ear. Okay maybe he didn't snore but then he was always sleeping on the call.

And he would wake up the next day and say "Did I sleep off yesterday?”…Oga don't let me slap your face.

As time went on, things started shifting…He became "too busy."

Everytime” I'm at work”, " I want to buy fuel" ," I want to visit the moon”,”The sun is on top of my roof”,”My house is on fire"," I forgot my charger in the mortuary”…too many stupid excuses man. This was like the 57th red flag.

Every guy who spoke to me suddenly became a problem.

Bro...it's not even my fault that I'm dangerously pretty. Why wouldn't you just accept it already?

Obviously, I'm going to attract everything breathing creature on the surface of this earth😌.

The funny thing is I tried my best to be transparent because we were doing long distance and I didn't want there to be room for any form of secrecy.

I literally told him about every single guy that approached me. What they said, what they wanted, everything single damn thing.

Sometimes we'd laugh about it.

Sometimes he'd even tell me what to do because according to him, he understood how guys think.

Yet...Nothing changed. He still suspected me. Jokes on you o.

Eventually, it became exhausting because I was always the one reaching out first. Every single time.

I'd call. He wouldn't pick up.

I'd text. He wouldn't reply.

But somehow, you'd have enough strength to post on your story. Especially that nonsense girl!

Make it make sense.

Na there I know say baba no really send me like that.

And whenever I confronted him, somehow I'd become the problem.

"Do you know what I'm going through?"

Fair enough..maybe I didn't but I was going through things too and somehow I still managed not to push away the people who cared about me.

And when I tried to stop trying so hard because it was obviously one sided he'd suddenly tell me I looked happy without him because he saw a streak of me on snap. Broo, I'm just choosing myself you this manipulative goat .

He didn't stop at that,he disrespected me with every little opportunity he got.

He began making derogatory comments about my body. Every three eke market days.

At first, it sounded like harmless jokes but after a while, they stopped feeling like jokes. They started sounding like opinions then eventually, they sounded like verdicts.

It was almost as if he had created this perfect version of me in his head and because I didn't fit into it, he made me feel like I needed fixing.

He made me feel unheard, unseen, unsafe and insecure.

And nobody should ever have to feel that way because they care about someone.

Somewhere along the line, this man messed with my emotions and my mental health so much that I started detaching without even realising it. I'm an avoidant attachment so anything that makes me uncomfortable,I would just quietly withdraw.

If you think i’m a burden, just let me go already.

So eventually...I stopped liking him.

I stopped talking to him.

And just like that, I moved on.

After a while, he came back.

He wanted us to reconnect. He tried gaslighting me into getting back with him.

I'm like you must really be shitting me because I'm trying to reciprocate what you dish out to me but you can't take it. Because I decided to not reach out to you anymore just because you don't see the worth and appreciate it, I'm suddenly the villain?…Respectfully,your head is paining you.

From the very beginning, he'd always wanted us to be in a relationship, but I kept stalling because I wanted to finish school first.

I wasn't ready but every single time I said that, he'd get upset.

He hated the idea of remaining "just a committed friend."

He always made me feel like I wasn't doing enough.

And don't even get me started on the fact that this man was a complete freak.

Every other conversation somehow found its way there.

Like can't you just tap sense for once..urghhhh!

Anyways, during one of our conversations after he came back, he made another derogatory comment about my body.

That was my last straw.

Years of bottled-up emotions came pouring out, and I insulted him out of pure anger.

But after everything,I was supposed to feel fulfilled right?

I felt very restless instead.

Somehow…Almost like I'd just gone through a breakup which is hilarious because we never even dated. Till tomorrow,I still don't understand why I had that unsettled feeling.

Remember that girl I mentioned earlier?..The one that always seemed to be around during the entire course of our "friendship," she never really left the picture.

He posted her almost every day, he reposted all her TikToks and Instagram posts.

Meanwhile, he once told me my TikToks were cringe. I blocked him immediately out of pettiness.

On New Year's Day, he posted her again. First post of the year. Isn't there supposed to be a level of respect and consideration for someone you claim to love because in this case my guy actually uses the ‘L’ word for me. The fact that I confronted him about it and he was like ehn it's just a post. I wan craze that day.

On her birthday, he planned a surprise with her friends. He posted her by 12am...I was like ahan osheyy agba timekeeper and coincidentally we're even month mates but guess what he didn't even post me or gift me anything.

Guyysssss guess what?

They're dating now…..ewwwwwww.

Honestly, everything made sense after that.

Then he started sending me streaks on snap about them. Very disgusting set of people.

Maybe he wanted a reaction.

Maybe he wanted me to be jealous.

Unfortunately for him, I had final exams to worry about so I wasn't even bothered a bit.

I was fighting for my degree, not for a confused man.

When he realised he wasn't getting the reaction he wanted, he blocked me😂😔.

Blocked me everywhere without even hesitating..

On snap, Instagram and WhatsApp.

Good riddance to bad yamayama nonsense rubbish.

Looking back now, I don't even think the saddest part was that we never happened.

The saddest part was how much of myself I was willing to lose trying to hold on to the idea of someone. The fact that I was almost bending to the version of myself that he wanted me to be ehnnn eje Jesu!

I kept hoping he'd become the version of him I had imagined in my head, while completely ignoring who he consistently showed me he was.

People will always show you who they are.

As for me?

I deserve someone who chooses me loudly.

Someone who doesn't make me question my worth.

Someone who doesn't make me compete with another woman for basic consideration.

Someone who doesn't make me feel like I'm too much or not enough at the same time.

Most importantly, I deserve peace.

So here's to almosts.

The almost relationships.

The almost lovers.

The almost forevers.

Sometimes they hurt just as much as the real thing.

But sometimes, they're also God's way of protecting you from a story that was never meant to be yours.

I truly deserve the very best in the world.