Of course - I’m Brianna Agyemang-Tessema, born and raised in Brooklyn to Ghanaian parents. I’m a middle child (do with that info what you may) and have a really big extended family. I originally wanted to be a dancer growing up, but my mom wasn’t having that so I went to Carnegie Mellon University and studied Economics with a minor in African and African American History. Since I knew I probably wasn’t going to use my degree, I started thinking about what I really enjoyed and I set my sights on working in music. I interned at a lot of places while still in school and over the breaks, then I graduated and still didn't have a job… so I interned some more. I went back to Brooklyn, got a couple more internships and about a year after I graduated, I got hired at the company I was interning for - I finally landed my first job in music - and it was at THEE Roc Nation. From there I did all the things, worked really hard, met all the people, and then went on to Atlantic Records, Apple/Platoon and also creating some really impactful orgs with friends, The Brownies & #TheShowMustBePaused, which all led me to where I am today building OurStory.

Was there a specific moment when you realized you wanted to build something of your own?

I think there were many little moments, but I wasn’t ready so I ignored them for a while. But, there were a couple of realizations that I had and I knew that I had to follow through with.

First, I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to get really great jobs, I didn’t work at many companies but I learned a lot from each of them and I was always very intentional about that part - I wasn’t just chasing money or a title, but I wanted to grow, learn and get real access. I also had a feeling that the next position for me was going to have to be something that I create for myself in some way, I didn’t really know what that meant though.

Second, was the idea of OurStory itself - it was sparked by my love and passion for history, learning about peoples pasts, and feeling like we weren’t really writing down our stories enough. I’ve had a few big ideas in the past, but I eventually always talked myself out of doing it for various reasons, but for some reason OurStory stayed cemented in my brain. The current version of the app is slightly different from the original idea, but the purpose still remains the same - let’s archive our stories and experiences together.

How did your career in music marketing help you with OurStory?

The key for me with music marketing, was finding and building community around the artists, what do people really connect with? I actually always looked at marketing like it was anthropology, I needed to learn about specific groups of people, their culture, where they’re located, what they enjoy, etc to see if it would match the artist we are trying to get them to listen to an support. It was so exciting for me to finally make a strong connection between an artist and their audience and then help it grow and develop from there through storytelling and music. To me, OurStory is the natural progression of this, but now I get to help people find and build community and connection around themselves using their own stories and experiences.

With OurStory, what problem did you see that needed to be solved now?

We - society - don’t really talk about real things enough, we are so busy with work and on social media, we think we are connecting to each other, because we see updates as we scroll but we really aren’t. Also, “real” doesn’t have to be super deep, but we just need to do a better job at actually getting to know people in our community, and we’ll probably learn that we have a lot more in common.

What makes OurStory different?

OurStory brings together two things that are usually separate - private reflection and social connection - because don’t we all feel better when people ask real questions about our lives, not just “how’s it going?”

What do you think the next generation of social networking looks like?

I think it’s more authentic for sure. Younger generations are already pushing back on things like smart phones by going back to flip phones, AI, social media, etc. I think the next generation of social networking is simple, authentic and probably isn’t something you spend all day hooked on.

What has been the hardest part of building OurStory thus far?

It’s all hard LOL! It’s really hard doing something you don’t actually know how to do, but you have to keep doing it anyway. Putting your work out there is definitely an uncomfortable feeling, I’m actively building the plane as I’m flying it and I have to get comfortable with the fact it’ll likely be like this for a while - and everyone can see. Also, being a solo founder is hard as well - I’m still looking for possible co-founders, but the more I put into OurStory the tougher the co-Founder criteria becomes.

Ten years from now, how do you hope OurStory would have changed social networking?

I would hope that we made things a little more real.

Thanks for entertaining me.

Later Substack!

Brianna

TheOurStoryApp.com

OurStory on the Apple App Store

OurStory on the Google Play Store

Being over half way trough the year always makes me stop to take note of how quickly time go by and what things I want to do for the remainder of the year.

2026 has been a very transformative year for me already, more that I’ve ever felt in recent years and I’m definitely still in the middle of the transformation.

I started off the year getting married to my other half! It was truly the best day of my life - getting married in the Arizona desert Sun and dancing all night under the stars with our family and friends. After a lot of preparation and planning (ourselves) on that day I learned a very valuable lesson - let go and trust in myself and the decisions I (and we) made that got us here, it’ll be okay - maybe even better than okay - because you are already here.

Little did I know that would be one of the main themes of the rest of the year… and I can already see that the person that I started the year as, is going to be very different from who I end the year as - so I chose to write a love letter to myself, to the past, present and future versions of Brianna.

Hey Bri,

The past 8 months have been filled with all of the things - highs, lows and everything in between, but as always you figure it out with your head held high and never compromise who you are and who you will want to be in the future. I’m proud of you for always being honest and standing up for yourself, even when it wasn't the easy decision. I’m proud of you for continuing to push yourself out of your comfort zone and trying new things. I’m proud of you for choosing the path less travelled, even though it can be quiet, you’re never truly alone. I’m proud of you for figuring it out as you go, because there truly is no road map for you. I’m proud of you for keeping your big smile and childlike wonder. I’m proud of you for always stopping when you see a butterfly. I’m proud of you for making action plans, but still allowing space for God to surprise you. I’m proud of you for being bold and asking for what you want. I’m proud of you for meeting new people and simultaneously finding deeper connections with existing relationships. I’m proud of you for always looking inward, but giving yourself grace that everyone is just figuring things out on the fly. I’m proud of you for getting outside and moving your body everyday. I’m proud of you for being able to tap into your circadian rhythm. I’m proud of you for always being kind. I’m proud of you for making your really big idea into something real. I’m proud of you for being consistent with Substack and I’m proud of you for opening up and sharing things with the world.

I know there’s so much more you want to figure out, but I’m proud of all of the things you’ve done and just know that some version of you already has it figured out.

Love you!

Later Substack,

Brianna

I learned about the term “pot committed” a few years ago, when I learned how to play poker and it became one of those terms that I started to really enjoy using, because it just summarized so many things so well for me - another term that I really took to a few years back was “malaise” but that’s not important right now.

In poker, "pot committed" means a player has invested so many chips and the pot size is so large compared to their remaining stack that they mathematically shouldn’t fold. In other words, you’re too deep in and the reward is so high (as well as the risk) that you feel you can’t turn back now.

That’s what I feel like describes my current state of entrepreneurship - I feel so far from the shore of where I started that it makes no sense - mathematically, emotionally, or financially - to turn back now. That realization is equally exciting and scary.

I’m proud of how far I’ve come, but sometimes I feel the very heavy weight of how much further I have to go. I try not to mentally sit in the latter for too long and just keep chugging along one step at a time - not always linear steps - but steps nonetheless.

That’s all I got for now, back to working on this big bet.

Brianna

I recently discovered (through my own research) that my brain may sometimes work really quickly - possibly too quickly? seems positive? I think so. But sometimes that can cause me to become frustrated when I have to stop what I’m doing to explain myself, it just doesn’t feel like an efficient use of time to me - and I loveeee efficiency.

I used to think it was because I loved my freedom and didn’t like feeling micromanaged (and why do I have to explain myself?). But now I realize it’s because my thoughts aren’t always linear - so sometimes it can be hard for me to work backwards from the output to explain things to people that may not understand it right away and when my brain train is moving, it really takes a lot of effort for me to slow it down to bring other people onboard and I don’t want to lose the momentum.

But I need other people.

In this season of life where I've had to get comfortable asking a lot of people for things (money, their brainpower to help me, opportunities, resources, advice, etc) This time is forcing me understand that I do need to slow down and bring people along on the ride - I can’t do it all by myself and how else will I get buy in?

I think that’s what also attracted me to Substack. I was never a big writer growing up, I actually hated English/writing classes and always preferred math and history - but when Substack came along I discovered quickly that I was better at sharing my thought process, my progress, my feelings and my plans in writing. It felt more like a release than a burden, so I just continue to follow that feeling.

Unfortunately for me, not all of the things I want in life can come from people just reading my Substack posts - but it helps me lay out what’s going on in this brain of mine in a way that not only brings people in on the ride, but also helps me understand it - and for that I’m grateful.

Later guyssssss

Brianna

They say the ups and downs are expected.

They say everyone deals with what you are experiencing.

They say the rejections are part of the process.

They say keep pushing, one day things will shift… and I believe this, but it doesn’t make the days in between any easier.

But again, this is all part of the journey… They say.

Alright, so I launched The OurStory App on Apple almost 2 weeks ago (!!!!!!!) I got a bunch of support and congratulatory messages, a bunch of shares on Instagram, and then few hours after that I was left asking myself “now what?.”

What do you do after you launch the thing? What is the next step towards success and millions (and billions) of downloads? What’s the next step towards making an impact on the world? What do I do now?

To be honest, I don’t know - but there are a couple of key things I think I need:

1. MONEY - to be able to hire theeee BEST engineer so I can move faster on app updates, to be able to pay for advertising, create the beautiful visual ads that I envision, and so much more.

2. Mentorship - re: not knowing what to do next as mentioned above

BUT, even though there isn’t a specific OurStory playbook that I can follow that guarantees success - somehow I’ve figured out something to do everyday that continues to push my app forward. I’ve created content to push engagement on socials that drive people back to the app, I’ve figured out how to sign up for an Apple Ads account and started testing small advertising strategies to see what will get me the best results. I had a couple of calls with friends to see where they can help out with their expertise. I’ve continued to push forward with the Google Play approval process to get The OurStory App up for Android users. I’ve updated my pitch deck for the umpteenth time and sent it out to anyone that knows someone at a VC. I’ve applied for any new business grant or accelerator program that comes across my screen. I’ve gone to networking events, mixers and summits targeting startup founders. I’ve continued to strategize various marketing strategies to get more users on board. The list of things to do continues to grow by the minute.

The exciting, and yet nerve wracking, part is that there is still so much more to do that I haven’t even thought of yet - but I have confidence in the fact that I’ll figure it out. I’ll figure it out with or without the resources I think I need in this moment, things have a way of coming together right on time. Just like I figured out how to create this app from an idea, I can figure out how to now make this app into a successful business that impacts people in a real way.

I guess the beauty of not having a playbook is that you get to create your own in real time - leaving a messy but effective book for the next time it’s needed.

I def wrote this as a stream of consciousness, so enjoy all the grammatical and punctuation errors - I gotta get back to my to do list :)

-Brianna

If you haven’t already - download The OurStory App on Apple today!

www.theourstoryapp.com

So after almost 3 years from coming up with an idea…

Roughly 15 months after quitting my job to pursue said idea…

A 3 wedding intermission...

Changing the premise of the idea…

And another 2 weeks after drafting this Substack post…

I am finally launching the app I’ve been thinking about, talking about and stressing about. OurStory.

What is OurStory? It’s an interactive community archive, in simpler terms - it’s a collaborative journal.

I’ve actually never been one to be able to keep up with journaling (because I had no clue what to write about), but since leaving the corporate entertainment world it became part of my daily regimen - the way I would start my days after my morning workout. There was an easy journaling book that was suggested to me by a former colleague and surprisingly it felt like a light enough lift that I could actually maintain. OurStory didn’t start off as a collaborative journal though… the original idea was a platform focused on personal history and visual content around that (I won’t go too much into this now incase I want to revisit this idea in the future) but after surveying a few hundred people, doing a few 1:1 interviews and trying out different approaches to bring the idea to life - I wasn’t feeling it and decided to pivot.

Once I changed directions, the idea kinda just flowed and it became super clear to me, I was ready to start building - I don’t know how to code though… and I definitely didn’t have tens of thousands of dollars to hire an engineer to build it for me. So I did what most of us do when we need to learn about something, I asked AI.

During the first round of building I used a platform called Replit - a “vibe coding”platform. The current version of OurStory isn’t built on Replit, but this was where I was able to build my confidence with trying to create an app using AI. I had a logo already (thanks to my friend Luther) and I used the Replit agent to build out features and functions and utilized ChatGPT to help me troubleshoot any roadblocks I faced with Replit. I built a web based beta version of the app with Replit, then spent many, many… many hours with Replit and ChatGPT trying to figure out how to turn that web based beta into a mobile app that I could submit to Apple. That initial mobile app was rejected by Apple for various reasons that I then had to figure out how to debug. I went back to Chat and spent more hours trying to figure out how to fix the solution, we couldn’t figure it out - so then I had to ask actual humans for help. Luckily I was able to reach out to a couple of friends (s/o to Adil and Abel) who have some coding experience and they were able to help me - I resubmitted to Apple and was rejected again, but this time not for a bug but because there were some important guardrails missing for me and for the user. When trying to work on the second rejection I noticed some key limitations with what and how I was building, plus I was burning time - not because there was an external timeline, but internally I needed to move quicker.

So I pivoted again.

I decided to send out the web app link, as is, to some friends and family to start getting some feedback on what features and functions worked well and what caused some friction for the user. I later learned from a friend that there’s a term for this technique - a painted door test (s/o to Tami.)

After I gathered feedback from this test for 7 days, I decided to rebuild the app from 0 - I made a Claude account, designed a prototype and then we built every single page of the app and used a new hosting platform. 2 weeks later I a working mobile app that I loved and was really proud of. I resubmitted to Apple and got approved!! I couldn’t believe it, it was real and really happening. I then reached out to the same group from the painted door test and sent them and early link to the app so they could play around with it and let me know if they encountered any functionality issues - there were a few small tweaks I made based on this feedback and then resubmitted to Apple and waited for approval. Simultaneously, I was also now planning on submitting to the Google Play Store, I worked with Claude to understand the process for this, which was quite different from the Apple process but I was just excited that I was getting so close with it all and it had gone from an idea that I presented to some friends at my birthday trip, to a real actual thing.

Now (hundreds of working hours later) here I am announcing that OurStory is available for download on iPhone and will soon be available on Android devices!!! I’m really proud of what I was able to build not only because I did it without any formal training and just using the resources and network available to me - but really because I needed to prove to myself that I could follow through with an idea and not let fear of the unknown or being uncomfortable hold me back from just trying.

I have no idea how OurStory will perform in the marketplace or how it will develop in the future, but I do know that it’s here - So download it and enjoy!

Download OurStory on the Apple Store HERE. Google Play release coming soon - follow us on Instagram for updates - @ TheOurStoryApp or visit TheOurStoryApp.com

Fun Fact: In college we all had to take Java, the coding language, to graduate with a BS, that was the only class I’ve ever failed and thus graduated with a BA. It’s funny how things workout :)

Another Fun Fact: My birthday is tomorrow, what a great gift :) :)

Later,

Brianna

We just got to the week of Spring Break and I think I’m starting to get the swing of things. As someone who was fairly “good” at school but didn’t enjoy it, I’ve surprised myself being on this side of the education experience. I get to school early so I can be prepared and settled before class starts. Even though I know the syllabus because I made it, weekly I review it ahead of class to make sure I’m caught up on the readings and then I quickly look at whats in store for the next week so I can make sure I know if there’s anything I need to get ahead of. When I was a student I would wait until the very last minute to work on assignments because “I work better under pressure,” but as an adjunct I find myself finishing up what I need to do as soon as I know it needs to get done - it’s off of my to do list before it even gets written down.

Being on this side of the table has been a growing experience for me, I’ve been an adult for a while now but at most jobs there’s always someone “more adult” than you, this time around I am the adult in the room - there’s no “so and so is asking me to deliver this” or “my director is making us work on XYZ” - I am the person requesting the work be done, I am the person setting the assignments and timelines, and while yes there are other leaders and directors I have to work with for certain things, in the class room I am the one “making” these students deliver. It has pushed me to accept a higher level of accountability over the things I do, the way I do them and the reasoning behind the decisions. When I walk into class (it actually starts when I walk into the building) even if I’m tired or not in the best mood - as soon as I walk through the doors I know I have to show up and command the room and the respect from others. It has been the best lesson for me to learn at this point in my life as I step into building a start up and I also think it’s perfectly aligned that the class I’m teaching is called “Women as Entrepreneurs in Pop Music” as a woman coming from working in music stepping into entrepreneurship.

I know I still have more to learn and I’ll continue to grow as I teach - but for now I’m still giving myself an A for my midterm grade, because I said so :)

I think I’ve also been feeling this with running lately, I love running as a concept and I do love doing it, but sometimes I also don’t feel like running or sometimes I find it hard to get dressed and go outside to run because until you get into your flow, running is hard - but I go anyway, because what am I gonna? stop running? That’s not an option for me as long as I’m physically capable of doing it and I really do love it.

I don’t really have a solution for any of this, I think this is just life - sometimes the things you really want are hard. Probably most of the time?

Anyway, just some random late night delirious thoughts - not 100% sure it actually makes sense, but I’m in Amsterdam and it’s 2am so I’m going to bed.

Talk to yall later,

Brianna

I had high hopes of being able to give you guys special Black History Month Substack post about how I finished the beta version of my app OurStory. The app that I’ve been working on for a year, (but tbh more aggressively after my weddings were over) and that it was ready for you all to download! Don’t ask me why or when I decided that the beta needed to come out during Black History Month, but it felt fitting and the marketer in me thought like it would be the perfect announcement timing - because I’m black and I’m making my own personal history. But here I am digging myself out a wormhole with ChatGPT at 11pm on a Sunday night because I can’t figure out how to get the log in button to work (a very VERY important function.)

However, in order to keep my commitment to myself, here’s my February/BHM update on my app building progress…

I’ve been using an AI coding platform called Replit to build the basic features of the app. Once I got the app on Replit to a place that I was happy with, I then talked to a friend who recently launched his own app and he briefly talked me through what my next steps were to get the app on Apple’s Test Flight and then on at the App Store.

From there I signed for Apples App Development Program and started using Chat GPT to help me through the preparation and delivery process. I downloaded a bunch of programs to my computer, started using programs that I didn’t know were already on my computer, and began trying to turn this almost app thing, into a real app thing. After many long days and nights of talking to chat, we finally got something that seemed like it worked! The simulation showed up on my phone and I was so excited. I couldn’t believe I turned this big idea into something tangible. I submitted it to Apple and then enjoyed my weekend thinking I was done and that I’d be able to send this product to all my friends to test it out on Monday. But I was wrong. I did submit the app, but it was only available for me to see and interact with, I needed to do another level of submission with a bunch of additional information if I want to be able to send it out for other people to test it out so I could get real users and feedback. So after wasting a couple days thinking I was good, I sent in the additional requested info and then actually submitted the app to the App Store & Test Flight. It takes a couple of days for them to review your submission, so in the days in between I filled my time by updating my deck since a few key features of the app had changed since I started actually building it, and I also worked on some other things in an effort to keep myself busy and moving forward. 48 hrs after submission, I got an email from Apple… a rejection notice. I needed to make some edits to the promotion materials and the meta data that I submitted, not too bad - but there was also a technical with one of the login buttons and it wasn’t working on iPads.

So back to Chat I went, like a child running to their parent to help them fix something they don’t know how to do on their own - Chat, this is what they are saying, can you help? We started trying to fix the code, add plug ins, run different tests to see how we can fix the issue. I’m not sure if you guys have played around with various AI tools like Chat GPT, but sometimes after a long session and various prompts it can get a little confused and start taking you down a wormhole that you aren’t actually sure is taking you towards the original goal anymore and it is really hard to get out of that. And that’s where I was/am. I had to step away and strategize with my regular human brain on what the best course of action was.

What’s my plan now? Asking people for help - I reached out to a couple of people that I know to see if they’ve encountered this issue before and to see if they can help me get back to a solid place with the app code. As I wait to see how/if they can help, I’ve also decided to try to talk to Chat again and undo all the things we did after the rejection notice, and then I asked it to help me execute what I hope is a much simpler fix of the issue.

Also, I’m writing this Substack post to give my brain a little reset.

I’ll probably miss my self imposed Black History Month beta launch timeline, but I guess there’s always Women’s History Month? :)

Brianna

A week after our wedding, I started a new part time position as an adjunct professor at NYU LA (yes, they have a small campus in LA) and it’s pretty exciting and scary doing something I’ve literally never done before. I’m excited to see how I can grow from the experience, what I can learn and how I can help a future generation figure out a just little bit of their lives.

With all this “new” happening, I started to think - New Year, New Me? but quickly remembered all of the time, effort and work that went into getting here and how far I still have to go with life and goals. Even though some of these “new” things kicked off in January, it’s a result of efforts and work I did months and years ago. I also reminded myself that Jan 1 may be the start of the new year for most of the world but that doesn’t mean that there is a hard reset on that day, everything is a continuation from a previous day, month, year and it all builds upon each other.

So in actuality maybe the “new me” started a while back and she isn’t new at all? Or maybe this is still the old me, in her extra long caterpillar phase, but not yet a butterfly. What does it actually mean to be a butterfly or caterpillar? Who knows?

2025 was a doozy to say the least. It was a hard year, mentally, physically, emotionally and financially. But at the same time, there were so many amazingly beautiful moments, experiences and learnings that have stretched me and that I’ll cherish forever - that’s adulthood, I guess?

All in all, I’d summarize this year as the year I created.

-It’s the year I decided to leave an old career and set out to create a new path for my current and future self

-It’s the year I decided to create new habits & routines, realize those weren’t working anymore and then created even newer ones

-It’s the year I started breaking out of my comfort zone by saying what I wanted out loud and not being afraid to ask for things

-It’s the year I figured out how to afford traveling to spend time with family, support friends and have a more fun moments in between. **Credit card points, airline miles, staying at peoples houses instead of hotels and having the flexibility to travel on the cheapest day, really goes a long way.

-It’s the year I figured out how to set firmer boundaries for myself, what I’m willing to do and not do - how to show up for the people around me, but not stretch myself too thin and make myself unable to deliver on the promises I made to myself

-It’s the year I got married! Twice!! My fiancé/husband and I did not only 1, but 2 traditional marriage ceremonies to honor our love and commitment under God and our respective cultures. With the help of our family, we created something so so special, I don’t even know if words can explain the feelings and energy of that weekend.

-It’s the year I decided to actively change my mindset, focus on the positive and TRIED to not stress too much about the unknown

-It’s the year I tried to appreciate and enjoy the little things, just as much as the bigger ones

-It’s the year I decided to start just doing things and not wait for them to be “finished” or perfect

While I am grateful to be able to wrap this year up and hit 2026 running (with our actual and final wedding kicking the year off) I’m super appreciative of what 2025 has been, because while it was so many things, it was the year that I created and there’s so much power in that. Cheers y’all.

Medical terms incoming...

About a week and a half ago I had a laparoscopic myomectomy to remove 6 fibroids from my uterus. This surgery is considered to be “minimally invasive,” the doctor makes multiple small incisions in the abdomen to remove the fibroids, resulting in less pain and a quicker recovery time as compared to an open myomectomy . The laparoscopic myomectomy was an option I was fortunate enough to have, given the size, number and placement of my fibroids.

My fibroid journey has felt long and daunting, but compared to other cases that I’ve heard about, I know it could’ve been worse. I first remember hearing the term “fibroid” in high school when a girl in my dance class was suffering from them. Back then I definitely didn’t have the maturity or knowledge to understand what she was experiencing while the rest of us were just worried about making sure we knew the routine for the spring concert. Looking back, I can’t imagine the trauma, stress and pain she had to deal with at such a young age.

I can’t say I know exactly when they popped up for me, but I was made aware of them by a doctor when I moved to LA in 2022. I was just doing a routine check up, when the doctor was pressing around my stomach and asked “did anyone ever tell you, you have fibroids?” I paused then said “uhhh no.” I always had regular periods, super regular - it came exactly 28 days from the first day of my last period, I didn’t experience any super heavy bleeding (I think) or debilitating cramping - I’d have some cramps on day 1 and then I’d be good for the rest of my 5 day cycle - and it had been that way since I got my period as a pre-teen. Well once she said the f-word, my two and a half year journey of going to different gyn’s, specialist’s, diets, ancient herbs and holistic remedies began.

I’ll spare you guys all of the details on the many, many, many routes I took before I accepted my fate… my fibroids needed to get removed by a medical professional. I was tired of none of the remedies working to shrink the fibroids, I was spending money on these things but they were still growing, they were uncomfortable, and frankly just taking up too much space in my mind and body. With everything I did or ate I thought about how it either was making my fibroids grow or hopefully shrink. So I scheduled an appointment with my gynecologist, she ordered some more detailed imagining, and connected me with a fibroid specialist who would let me know what my options were, then my myomectomy was on the books for the earliest available date.

I spent the next months before surgery (in between attending all fiftyleven weddings I went to this year) trying to mentally and physically prepare, not only because I wanted my body to be ready for surgery, but also because the surgery was happening 6 weeks before my wedding, so I truthfully didn’t want to spend a bunch of time on a slow recovery when I had things to get done. So I decided, the better I went in, the better I’d come out. I did it all - running, hot yoga, dance class, tennis, strength training, long distance walks, I probably worked out a min of 6 days a week with the intention of trying to get ahead of an elongated recovery.

The main thing my doctor tried to emphasize to me was that I would need to rest, like really sit down and rest so I could heal fully and properly. She could tell I wasn’t used to having to do that so she made sure to really emphasize that I needed to take a minimum of 2 weeks recovery (not full bed rest, but almost) and then after that I should listen to how I felt and increase activity gradually. That meant no more running, no hot yoga, no dance class, no tennis, no lifting heavy, no long distance walks and tbh not much cramming in catch ups with friends over drinks and dinner before the year is over - I was just going to be in the house… Secretly, I was kinda excited for it. I mean don’t get me wrong, I love doing all of the things, but I also don’t know how many times as an adult that I’ll have the ability to do none of the things, especially after such a long year. I was interested in seeing if I could actually do nothing.

The day of the surgery finally arrived (also sparing you guys the details of surgery, really weird experience), afterwards I was in pain, moving slowly, uncomfortable, high from the meds/anesthesia and sooo tired. I actually just wanted to sleep I see why the doc told me to rest. I needed it. I craved it.

As the days have gone by my pain has gotten less, my movements faster and I’ve started feeling more and more like Brianna again, but I have to constantly remind myself that I’m not at 100% yet. I’ll try to push myself and go on a long walk but then start to feel pain/pressure and then need to call an uber to take me back home, and I’ll still need a nap after that walk. It’s nice to feel myself coming back, but it’s also nice to be reminded to slow down.

While there’s no guarantee the fibroids won’t grow back, I’m staying present and appreciating my time of forced rest, reminding myself to take it slow and easy (even though I really want to get moving gain) and grateful to hopefully put this chapter of fibroids behind me for good.

Talk to you guys later.

Brianna

Hey guys, it’s been a minute so I figured I’d come by and do a brain dump. I know we all have a lot going on, so first join me in taking a long breath.

Cool.

At the moment I don’t really have any specific structure with how I want to share this dump, so I’m going to just write and hope that it feels cohesive at some point.

The year has been very indicative of what we have been told adulthood would be, all of our lives - there’s always something to do and there’s always something going on! Great things, not so great things, but things nonetheless. As the last quarter of the year rolls in my brain is juggling a few things.

Surgery - I, alongside many black women, have fibroids. They’re taking up too much space in my body and they gotta go, over the past couple of years I’ve tried shrinking them through various holistic methods - castor oil packs, Traditional Chinese Medicine herbs, a non damp foods diet, a vegan alkaline diet, Dr Sebi herbs, meditation, yoga, the list goes on. While all of these things taught me lot about my ability to be disciplined and what foods do what for your body, my fibroids were just too far along to have any impact… So myomectomy it is. I scheduled my surgery and trust the doctor that’s performing it. I’m still scared because it’s surgery and it’s like what are they REALLY doing in there?!? But the only thing I can do is pray, trust that my body knows how to recover, and try to get as in shape as possible physically and mentally before hand. Please send me any tips if you have :)

Weddings/Travel - everyone’s getting married! While this is the most beautiful problem to have - and I’ve contributed to adding like 15 of my own weddings to the list - I am tiredddddd. Nothing much to do here though, because I absolutely have a blast once I get to the actual ceremonies and love getting to see all of my family and friends that I don’t get to see as often, but the process of getting there and spending money on the plane tickets always stings a little. Additionally, I feel really blessed to have so many people around me showcase their love for each other in their own way... Even if I don’t know how I’m paying for this.

My wedding - speaking of weddings, we’re having another one lol! The finale and what we call our ACTUAL wedding. We won’t be getting married until the top of the year, but all of the planning essentially needs to be done by the end of this year. I believe it’ll all come together beautifully and secretly I don’t think I hate wedding planning as much as people said I would, but a big question still stands… who’s paying for this???

My App - it’s LA Tech week! So despite being exhausted, I needed to make time to get out there and network and get to work. I hit up a few events so I could hear whats coming up in the tech world, meet and learn from other people who have figured out a little more than I have. I still need to apply for more accelerator programs and grants so I can build OurStory (check out the link) faster and hopefully with some guidance.

These are a few of the bigger items swirling around in my mind, on my ever growing list of “things I need to do,” along with just dealing with the everyday tasks of trying to be a good partner, family member, friend, drink water, sleep, eat, trying to pay attention to everything going on in the world, but not get dragged into a deep hole, figuring out ways to make money, trying to relax but stay productive, you know the usual. My acupuncturist told me that she could tell I can get a lot done based on reading my pulses and I believe her.

In no particular order, here are some photos from the ceremonies!

We are 2/3 married now!

Life has been lifing since my first/last post on here. The bachelorette party that I was planning for my friend, went even better than anyone could’ve expected and the bride had the best time surrounded by her friends from various stages of her life. Everyone who helped in the planning really showed up and showed out for our girl and she was super grateful.

Okay - now that’s checked off the list, what’s next???

My big fat African weddings! Sidenote: I’m only generalizing and saying “African” because there are two countries being represented this weekend - Ghana (me) and Ethiopia (fiancé).

Our families have been preparing for these ceremonies for months and if there’s one thing time is going to do, is pass - so the celebration week is finally upon us.

After we went back and forth finalizing locations and dates for these ceremonies - the next thing we had to do was figure out what we wanted to wear, because these outfits take a while to get made. For my side (Ghanaian) that meant we needed to first pick out our kente cloth. Kente is a handwoven textile that was originally reserved for royalty, but over time became more accessible and is worn for various types of celebrations. I may be generalizing, but when most Americans think of “African clothes” they probably think of Kente - the colorful print that is also worn around necks by Black people as graduation stoles.

We chose two styles of kente cloth, because we of course “need” two outfits (obvi) - and then I searched high and low on Instagram, Pinterest and Tik Tok on dress styles that I liked and designers that I could trust to make it, especially with the designers being in Ghana and me being in LA. As I mentioned in my previous substack, I’m not bringing in money at the moment, so I couldn’t afford to pick up and fly to Ghana to do a fitting, so I selected a style and designer that had great reviews and prayed that my mom being a technical designer since I was a child prepared me to take impeccable measurements of myself (spoiler alert, it did!) My fiancé is a man, so his clothes were a bit more straightforward - though when we got the style of the set we made for him, we noticed A LOT of creative liberties were taken, but luckily my mom was able to get another outfit made for him and brought over to the US in time… there’s always something I guess.

Once our bride and groom outfits were in process, we then moved on to our wedding party’s outfits which were also being made in Ghana with the help of some tailors that my mom sourced. We have 9 bridesmaids and groomsmen on each side so there was a lot of wrangling to do. We selected outfit styles and colors with them, then tried our best to walk them through the process of taking their measurements - charts and videos were sent, but in the end we just closed our eyes and prayed for the best.

Simultaneously, we had to get working on the Ethiopian clothes, specifically the “Habesha libs,” - which were also getting made on the continent. - Just know there were a lot of early morning calls on WhatsApp to get all of these outfits done. - So for the Ethiopian clothes, my fiancé’s sister and cousin helped to point us in the right direction on where to look up styles that we would like - we chose a designer that could make both his and my outfits and then worked with his sister who was on the ground in Ethiopia to do in person visits to finalize styles, fabrics, colors and make some tweaks to make our outfits feel really special. Once our outfits were finished we worked on the outfits for the bridesmaids, groomsmen and our families - the theme with the clothes during this process is that we’ve barely had enough lead time to try them all on, so let’s hope that everyone’s outfits fits (I’ll let you know how this part goes.)

Okay the clothes are done and in the states, so we can focus on the ceremonies, how we adapt them to who we are today and what they mean. My family is Ghanaian, but more specifically I am from the Akan ethnic groups - half Akyim and half Asante, luckily for me they share a lot of similar traditions so that made it easier for me to learn the process. I've been to a few Ghanaian weddings, but I don’t fully speak the language (twi) so honestly, I can’t say I’ve always paid attention to the details, but I did remember some of the fun parts ie food, dancing, outfits. My mom and I did a call with a family friend/uncle of mine for him to walk me through the process of the traditional “Ayefro” wedding ceremony. Here’s what I learned -

• Both families assign a delegate or representative from their side who speaks on behalf of them

• If we were going super duper traditional prior to the “ayefro” the groom would’ve let his family know that there’s a woman he wants to marry, the mans family would then send their delegate to the woman’s family to let them know.

  • The woman’s family would then do their background research on the mans family and determine if they want to accept the proposal.

• On the wedding day the groom and his family comes to the brides family house, both families delegates are there as well - once everyone is welcomed in the space the pastor will start with a prayer.

• The grooms family will be asked why they have come to the home, they will then answer and then let the brides family know that they have brought the requested gifts ;)

• My family will then ask to see the gifts that one when the groomsmen followed by the groom make their entrance - this is where all of the guys do the dance entrance that I choreographed and sent to them to learn - I have faith that they will make this look good lol.

• The groomsmen will then return with all of gifts and present them to my family.

• The delegate acknowledges the gifts, but my family can’t accept them until I give confirmation.

• The groom is now asked if he’s brought these things to be able to marry me, once he answers his family will ask to see me.

  • My family will “get me from the town” (aka I’ll come out of the house lol)

• My bridesmaids will then come out doing the dance that I choreographed for them (killing it of course) and then I will follow behind them with an entrance of my own.

• The groom will then need to check me out to make sure I am the person he’s asking to marry.

• After he confirms I’m the one - there will be 2 bottles of a drink passed to my family, one for them to drink on the spot as an acceptance of witnessing my marriage and the other bottle to be held in the unfortunate case that the marriage is dissolved.

• My family’s delegate will then ask me 3x if they should accept this marriage - once I confirm 3 times we are married and it’s time to party!

The next day we will honor my fiancé’s Ethiopian heritage with a “Melse” which translates to “return” signifying a couples return to their community now married. In traditional Ethiopian Habesha wedding there would be multiple parts - day 1 would start with the “Anasgebam” which translates to “we will not let you in” follow by church in the morning, then a reception in the evening - the next day would be the Melse. Since we are combining two cultures into one weekend, we decided to do the Melse to acknowledge that a marriage/union has taken place, but first we’ll do the Anasgebam because it is my fiancé’s favorite part of the marriage ceremony and it’s pretty fun to experience for all involved.

The Anasgebam, is a pretty cool tradition of the groom and his family and friends “fighting” his way into the bride’s family home to get to her. The moment is a big display of Habesha culture celebrated with ululations, songs and blessings - highlighting the brides readiness for marriage and unity between the two families.

After the Anasgebam, we’ll get with our wedding party, put on our “Kabbas” for our official entrance as a married couple and then officially kick off the Melse celebration with music, amazinggggg food, honey wine, a coffee ceremony and a lot of eskista dancing.

Even though we’ve remixed a few of our traditions to be able to fit into a 2 day weekend, some practices just can’t be changed when it comes to African weddings… like losing control of the guest list and just allowing your parents and family to invite whoever they want - it’s just vibes at this point. But we do know the food will be abundant, the music will be loud, there will be a lot of people sending photos over WhatsApp and Viber, the energy will be fun and we will get to see so many of the people that have poured into not only us, but into our families over the years celebrate what they have contributed to in many ways. The big message that we hope to convey through the weekend’s celebrations, is that we are the products of our ancestors and current family/community and that’s why we continue these traditions. We won’t be legally married until our “western wedding,” but we will honor this weekends ceremonies just the same.

There was a lot that went/is going into these celebrations and they wouldn’t have gotten done if it wasn’t for our family and friends - hopefully these ceremonies feel just as much as a celebration for all of them, as it will be for us.

Lastly, while I have you…. vote for me and Erm in the “America’s Favorite Couple” competition HERE! You can vote for free once a day!

My brain is a bit fried at the moment so I’m going to stop writing now.

See you guys later :)

I also knew I needed to hold myself accountable because the date I set in my mind was so far away that it left a little too much wiggle room for me to possibly back out of it. So I started telling my friends and family what my plan was, if I said it out loud to people then I had to follow through right? Months went by, the date got closer and I started to get really excited, it felt more and more like I was making the right decision. I couldn’t wait.

The day finally arrived - I practiced what I was going to say while I showered and got ready. I knew I had to start with some pleasantries, but lead the conversation to not get too off track. I needed to take charge, make sure I was clear that there wasn’t any room for discussion, this wasn’t about money or job duties - it was decision I was making for my future, my happiness, the ideas and projects that I wanted to work on and to take advantage of what felt/feels like the most opportune time in my life to do something like this. So heart racing, underarms sweating, I DID IT! I felt great, I actually think I was smirking as I blurted out the news. I was really really happy, I felt immediately lighter, my gut told me I was doing the right thing and 30 days later my last day of work was here!

I did it, now what? I had an idea for something I wanted to build that was at the forefront of my mind for over a year, so now I had to start on that. But I’ve also been working since I was 13 (currently 37) so I also had to make sure I rested and reset. I also got engaged last summer and was also planning 3 weddings (two traditional African weddings and one American wedding) so I had to start planning those. I am also the Maid of Honor for my friends wedding, so I also had to get into planning mode for her bachelorette and to tend to my MOH duties. I also have 3 weddings so I needed to figure out how to make money to pay for those and not have to dip into my sabbatical savings too much. I had so much to do, but where would I even start?

Day 1 of my sabbatical I got my hair done - because duh. Day 2, I had a credit for a pottery class that I put to use - that was fun and it was nice doing that at 2 in the afternoon with no one around. Day 3&4 I took naps. Day 5 was a Friday so I got to hang out with all of my people that had jobs. Then 6&7 were Saturday and Sunday so I was outside.

Week 2, I ran some errands and then wrote a post on LinkedIn & Instagram announcing my career news. I let people know I was open to discussing consulting opportunities and then began taking meetings. In true busy body fashion, I replied to about 100 messages in one day and overbooked myself with exploratory meetings, felt overwhelmed and immediately regretted it. That’s when I learned my first lesson of my sabbatical - 1. I am in charge of my schedule and don’t need to rush to do meetings if I don’t think it’s urgent. When I was working for corporations and meetings just popped up on my calendar and I would just have to prepare and make it work, but that’s no longer the case. What was I trying to cram it all in for?

Okay now that I reframed my approach to meeting with folks, I was moving and grooving. I started spacing out my zooms and coffee chats to a manageable pace. I met with other people that had left their full time jobs (either on their own or were pushed to) and a common theme was that they all seemed better off, happier and more successful on the other side of that change. When they were forced to figure out how to make it work - they did just that. That’s something that I like to think I always knew, so I’m not going to include it in the list of things I learned during this time necessarily, but let’s call it something that was re-confirmed for me. I’ll be honest though, I didn’t always feel like meeting with people - the Taurus in me would sometimes look forward to a canceled meeting so I could just stay home and stay in my comfortable bubble. I would even make excuses as to why I should cancel like “what can I even learn from this person?” smh, I know but I said I was being honest - sometimes we make excuses to be lazy. However, I am one to honor my commitments so I went to all the meetings/chats/hangs and left each of them learning something new, taking a mental note of something I wanted to apply to my life or the project I’m trying to build or just being inspired by what they are working on. That’s when I realized the 2nd lesson of my sabbatical - 2. I can learn something from any and everyone - so fix your attitude and go outside and talk to people Brianna.

At the end of my first month without a job I went to a networking event for startup founders so I could get out there and start meeting people that can help with this thing that I am building. In the past when I’ve talked to people in the startup world about my idea, one of the first questions they would ask is if I was working on it full time - when I would say no, they’d say let me know when you’re all in on your idea. So now that I took the first step and dove headfirst into being a founder I was ready to chat and have someone hand me a trillion dollars to build it. So I’m at this event networking and trying to meet new people and that’s when I came face to face with the 3rd lesson of my sabbatical - 3. This shit is scary and I have no idea what I’m doing. I realized this mid event, I was intimidated by everyone in the room. I left an industry where my resume and name were well respected and now I’m trying to jump into a world that I knew nothing about, don’t know many people and have nothing to show for myself. In actuality everyone at the event was pretty nice and I was able to gain a lot of new LinkedIn contacts, but I left that event feeling really defeated and sad in the moment. Also, scared at the realization that I’m trying to make a new life path for myself without any semblance of a map. After that, I took a couple of days to get my mind back on track and get back to work.

Fast forward, months of sabbatical went by and in true Capricorn stellium fashion, I was deep into a daily regimen that I built to make sure I was being “productive.” I woke up between 6:30 and 7a, scrolled on my phone for a bit and replied to messages from my family overseas and the east coast, then I would work out - either hot yoga, go for a run or to the gym. I told myself I would do some sort of physical activity every week day to make sure I would get out the house. When I was back from my workout, I then showered wrote in my 'Five Minute Journal’ made a light and balanced breakfast then would pull out my laptop to work from my living room - because remember I loveeeeee being home. At any given time, I’d either be working on 1 of 3 things - one of my fifty-leven weddings, planning my friends bach or the mysterious thing that I have been saying I’m building for over a year now. I’d bounce around between different tabs on my web browser, doing a little bit of everything, moving things forward but not as fast as I know deep down I can. After some time I realized that really lean on the things I know how to figure out and for the things I can't figure out as easily, I do just a little bit of this and that, then give myself a pat for doing that much. That’s when I realized, I needed to shake things up I needed to 4. Get out of the house and experience things. My productivity increased almost tenfold when I started to go outside and work from different places - I’d barely pick up my phone to check social media, I’d run sometimes into random people I knew and they would help me get unstuck from where I was with building on my idea, I’d see things in the wild that give me new inspirations that I’d want to incorporate into what I’m working on. This is where I’m at now, it’s been pretty awesome.

Outside of these bigger themes/lessons that I mentioned in this post, I’m constantly learning, noticing and realizing things about myself everyday on this journey and I’m super grateful for that. Even though I still don’t have a firm idea of what I’m doing for real, I’m just following my gut and what God puts in front of me one step at a time and I believe I’ll get there, scared or not.

Yay for my first substack post! I didn’t review this for typos before I hit publish ;)

TL;DR - Things I’ve learned so far while on my personal sabbatical

1. I am in charge of my schedule

2. I can learn something from any and everyone

3. This shit is scary and I have no idea what I am doing

4. Get out of the house and experience things