Stop product hopping. You need to give a product 8-12 weeks before deciding if it works.

This is definitely one of the biggest issues I see with patients. A patient buys a vitamin C (for a lot of money because they were influenced), use it for two weeks, don’t notice a difference, and move onto the next one. Then they try retinol, experience dryness, decide it’s too harsh, and stop.

Here’s the problem - most skincare products don’t work that quickly.

As a general rule:

• Moisturizers: a few days to two weeks

• Brightening products: six to eight weeks

• Acne treatments: six to 12 weeks

• Retinoids: eight to 12 weeks

Your skin cells need time to turn over and pigment doesn’t disappear overnight. I tell patients, when you constantly switch products, you don’t know what is helping or hurting or honestly doing absolutely nothing.

Remember, consistency almost always wins.

Have a retinol in your routine, but know how to use it.

Retinol is one of the most studied and effective ingredients in skincare. It can improve acne, fine lines, uneven skin tone, pigmentation, and overall skin texture.

But most people either overuse it or avoid it completely because they’ve had a “bad experience.” And maybe that’s true, but I want you to know how to use your retinol effectively.

Here are some tangible tips -

• Start slowly. Two to three nights per week is plenty.

• Use a pea-sized amount for your entire face and neck. More is NOT better. Truly a pea size amount is plenty.

• Apply it to completely dry skin. If you find yourself getting irritated or dry, apply your retinol AFTER moisturizer.

• If your skin is burning, peeling, or constantly irritated, that’s not a sign that it’s working better. Peeling is common 3-4 days after application. Sometimes you do have to work through that. It’s not the best, but your skin will adapt.

Retinol is a long game. You don’t get extra credit for using it every night during the first week, in fact, that’s exactly what’s going to make you hate it.

My goal isn’t for patients to have the strongest retinol routine possible. My goal is for them to still be using it six months from now.

A consultation is not a treatment plan.

I feel like a true consultation has lost it’s place in aesthetics. Some people say if the patient leaves, they may not come back. To me, I’m not a car salesman. I’m not about to push a patient to do something they are unsure of just so I can get a “sale.”

Consultations are perfect opportunities to build the plan. If time allows to start on said plan, that’s wonderful.

I think many people avoid aesthetic consultations because they assume they’re going to leave with poke marks, a laser package, and a significantl bill. That’s not how it should feel or work.

A consultation should be a conversation. A time to get to know your provider, discuss your concerns, prioritize goals, discuss budget, and understand what the heck you are paying for.

There is a difference between skin quality and facial structure.

This is one of the most important concepts in aesthetics, because not every concern is addressed the same ways.

When patients say, “I look tired,” that could mean several different things… Volume loss? Fine lines? Skin laxity? Darkness?

Skin quality refers to things like texture, pigment, redness, pore size, acne, and overall skin health. Facial structure refers to things like volume loss, bone structure, facial proportions, hollowing, and sagging.

Skincare can dramatically improve skin quality, but will not restore lost volume. While filler will help build structure and volume, but will not improve sun damage or reduce pigmentation.

Your budget should be part of the conversation.

Nothing brings me more joy than when a patient says, “I can spend up to xx amount today.” I think it’s transparent and honest. I often find that people are intimidated by the cost of aesthetic treatments. Almost some sort of embarrassment on asking about price. I always tell patients, “You wouldn’t buy a sweater without looking at the price tag.”

Your budget is one of the most important pieces of information you can share with your provider.

A good provider isn’t building a treatment plan around an unlimited budget. They’re job is to build a treatment plan around you.

If you don’t know what your products are doing for you, there’s no use in using them.

This kind of falls in product hopping, but I think it deserves it’s own section.

I’ll ask patients what products they’re using, and they’ll show me a photo with eight different bottles without a real grasp on what each product is doing/helping.

I don’t expect patients to know every ingredient. But I do think you should know why each product has earned a place in your routine. Every product should have a job.

If you can’t explain why you’re using a product, it’s worth asking whether you actually need it. Because skincare shouldn’t feel like following instructions without understanding them. It should feel intentional and worth while.

Subscribe now

It’s this rush to the middle. To get married, have kids, buy a house, hold a career…. and then what? Like what are we all rushing to the middle for?

At 35, I still am figuring out confidence, relationships, and if I’ll ever feel settled. But I do think I’ve changed my mind about a lot - marriage, motherhood, work, friendships, moving across the country, watching your priorities shift without even asking for permission. It’s pretty wild how much can happen in ten years.

These are a few things I believe now that I never would have written ten years ago.

Every disagreement doesn’t need to be won.

If my husband reads this, he might laugh. But in all seriousness, some conversations aren’t really about changing someone’s mind, but more about understanding where they are coming from. I find myself leaning more into “put yourself in someone’s shoes,” and less “this convo won’t end until this person agrees with me.”

Three close friends beat thirty acquaintances.

How is no one talking about how hard finding friends at 35 is? Especially if you have moved around a bit through the last few years. There was a time when I thought a full social calendar meant a full life. Now I think about a handful of people I can randomly text when I feel like I’m unravelling at the seams. Those are the friendships that matter.

Having it all doesn’t mean doing it all.

If I could do it, I thought I should. Now at 35, saying no is one of the biggest signs of successes to me. Somewhere along the way I confused capability with obligation. Maybe it can come off as selfish or inflexible, but sometimes the most productive thing you can do is protect your time and energy instead of proving how much you can carry.

Looking like myself matters more than looking younger.

Working in aesthetics can play mind tricks on you. I think if I look around my field, I can easily recognize leaders that have lost themselves a little bit. I meet patients comparing to what they see on social media or reality tv. Even I need to check myself occasionally (especially during this third pregnancy) to not be so hard on my appearance.

The goal isn’t to erase every year from my face. It’s to feel healthy, and confident, and rested, when I look in the mirror.

Being a little cringe…. is so worth it.

When people ask me social media advice, I say - “Don’t worry about it, just post it. Stop overthinking it.” This can go for anyone. Posting the video, starting the project, asking the dumb question, starting something new…. like what are we worried about? Almost every opportunity I’ve had came because I was willing to risk looking a little awkward. Putting yourself out there opens doors.

Subscribe now

Not everyone has to like me.

This one is tough, but it’s true. Yes, should you be kind and professional and respectful? 100%. But if you don’t like me…. I’m really ok with that. Everyone is not everyone’s cup of tea. That’s okay.

Most things that feel urgent today won’t matter a year from now.

My toxic trait is clinging to any and every small issue. I have this wonderful ability to maximize a small problem and make it everyone’s business - asking opinions, evaluating outcomes, and spotlighting the inconvenience, like it’s a true emergency. And then it comes, goes, and a year later, it’s 9 times out of 10 forgotten.

Maybe this comes with different priorities or responsibilities. Maybe this comes with maturity. Either way, I’ve learned that very few things are as urgent as they appear.

A good home doesn’t have to look perfect.

Ahhh… we are coming up on two years in our 80s home, that we are slowly updating and making our home. (*I should do a post on this.*) It was our first home purchase and it was a big deal. I’m proud to own a home, but man, does the kitchen need to be renovated.

At 25, I probably would have told you I would be in a big old new build at 35. Now, I think a beautiful home is one that’s lived in. A little character. Couch cushions a little crooked. Toys under the dining room table. A house where you look back at pictures and say, “remember that carpet??”

I have a feeling this list will look different again when I’m 45. And honestly, I hope it does. Because changing your mind isn’t a sign you were wrong. It’s simple evidence that you are out there living.

Anfisa Lip Gloss - I don’t know what it is, but I have so many lip glosses and I rarely use any of them. It’s just a product I never can get on board with, but then I see women with a touch on their lips and think, “you look great.” I can not get enough of this.

Kids ‘9060 Sneaker - Found these as I was browsing the Nordstrom anniversary sale! Perfect for play and parks, running, jumping - allll the summer fun.

Pajama Set - This one is a favorite of July, but in actuality I’ve been wearing it for the past year. Now that I’m 26 weeks pregnant, I’m ready to buy another one to treat myself. So stretchy, and so soft.

Poplin Knee Pants - A perfect transition from summer to fall. Pair it with a tank, button down, or sweater. Dress it up or dress it down. Pregnant or not. I’m telling you, these pants do you good.

Tennis Bracelet - I always want tennis jewelry (not that I play… but someday), but also the real deal isn’t in my budget. I haven’t taken this off since I purchased it.

Belly oil - Nothing can prevent stretch marks, but it is important to keep the growing bump (and body) hydrated and nourished.

Subscribe now

MX Sandal - High quality leather that will last you for multiple summers. Love the brown/taupe color because it quite literally matches everything.

One size fits all swimsuit - I mean the title says it all. I have two different variations and it’s the only item I’m wearing this summer at the pool.

Bubble Up Initial Necklace - Probably one of my most complimented items I have. Currently have a P + C for my children. It’s a special one.

Chino hat - Casual, yet cool color, but elevated enough to feel cute even if you are covering some days old washed hair.

Life happens beyond the products though. July was filled with little things that made the summer feel like real summer. Random pool afternoons (even though it’s not relaxing with little kids), getting completely into Yesteryear whenever I can sneak in a few pages, and making Substack more of a priority. It’s fun to share a little more than what fits in a 10-20 second reel.

Summer isn’t over though. So let’s have ourselves an August.

xx, Bridget

Not because we all of a sudden loved each other less, but because children become the first to receive almost everything we have. I’m talking time, attention, patience (and lack thereof), emotional bandwidth, and mostly, our energy.

No one really prepares you for how much of yourself your children require. It’s the kind of love that asks for everything…. and then asks for more. And most days, you gladly give it. But by the end of the day, there’s often very little left.

I said something to a patient recently, and I even surprised I was saying it out loud. I told her, “I give most of my energy to my patients all day. And then the next bit goes to my kids when I get home. Then whatever I have left, goes to me. Which means my husband gets whatever is left of that.” I’m not super proud of this, but if I’m being honest, I think it’s true for a lot of parents.

Not because we don’t love our spouses, but because our energy isn’t infinite.

For many families, another layer is added. In many houses, both parents are working full time. Many women often contributing significantly to the family income, while also carrying a large load of the invisible work that comes with running a home. We spend our days meeting deadlines, solving problems, answering emails, leading teams, seeing patients, teaching students, or caring for patients. Then we come home and immediately have to step into dinner, bedtime routines, baths, and a million tiny tasks that keep a family running. By the time everything is completed and the house is quiet, it’s not uncommon for both people to feel like they’ve lived a full two days.

Now that doesn’t excuse neglecting a marriage, but it does help explain why so many of us feel just absolutely depleted. Sometimes the issue isn’t a lack of love. It’s a lack of energy.

It’s not just our days that look different. Even things that were so simple have changed. Your freedom. Before kids, going away for a weekend meant maybe packing a quick and easy bag. Now it means coordinating childcare, writing schedules, checking calendars, making backup plans, and hoping nothing falls apart. And then even when you’ve planned everything perfectly… you still spend half the trip wondering if everyone is ok! No one really tells you that. Or maybe they do, but it’s something you don’t fully understand until you are living it.

When I was pregnant with my first baby, I was reading The Fourth Trimester, and I came across a sentence that has stuck with me to this day. “At some point during the first year of parenthood, you will hate your spouse.” I immediately read it to Josh and told him, “Well I don’t want us to hate each other?” The book continued to encourage couples and offer them talking points to cover before the baby arrived. I thought it was a little dramatic and remember thinking, “That won’t be us.” But after Pippa was born, there were definitely moments where a bell went off and I thought, “Omg, it’s happening.” It wasn’t because our marriage was failing, but because we were exhausted, overstimulated, and trying our best. The difference was that we had already talked about it. We were able to recognize the season, rather than assuming there was something fundamentally wrong with us. I still very much recommend that book to anyone having a baby.

Subscribe now

Now a days, I’ve realized marriage with children is not a rom-com and more a partnership. I didn’t appreciate the idea of partnership as much before kids. Now it’s basically one of the most romantic things there is. Sometimes the most loving thing isn’t a huge gesture, but it’s emptying the dishwasher, taking on bedtime, or giving the other person 30 minutes of alone time because you see them running on empty.

I have a rule. Whenever our family gets on a long flight (usually back to California), I tell Josh the same thing. “We’re on the same team. If shit hits the fan, we are on the same team.” I think that’s become my quiet definition of marriage post kids. Not perfection (ha!). Not endless romance. Good ol’ fashion… partnership. It’s probably not what either of us imagined marriage would look like, but it’s reality. In a season with a three and a half year old, a two year old, and another baby on the way, partnership presents it’s own kind of romance.

Picking your partner is one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make. Marriage is not easy and there will be days where life is incredibly difficult. The seasons where you have very little to give with come and go, but they definitely exist.

I don’t have five foolproof ways to keep your marriage thriving after kids. This is not one of those magazine articles (even though they do still catch my eye). The happiest couples I know don’t seem to have fewer hard days. They just remember over and over again that the problem isn’t each other. They’re simply two people trying to love each other while also raising the people they love the most.

Maybe that’s what no one tells you before you have kids. Marriage doesn’t necessarily stop mattering. It just stops taking care of itself. And it’s up to you and your partner to be intentional about choosing each other, even in the smallest ways, over and over again.

The funny thing is, almost nobody walks into my office asking to look different. They want to look less tired. Less angry. A little more like themselves.

After nearly a decade working in aesthetics, I’ve realized the conversation around injectables is surprisingly black and white. You’re either “aging naturally” or you’ve “gone too far.” Botox is either poison or magic. Filler is either life-changing or ruining everyone’s faces. And a lot of this conversation comes from social media. I understand why. Most people's opinions aren't shaped by conversations with experienced providers or even their own treatments. They're shaped by viral before-and-afters, celebrity speculation, dramatic headlines, and the loudest voices on social media. The faces that get shared are usually the most dramatic, not the most representative.

The truth is, as it usually is, is much more boring. And much more interesting.

Here are a few things I wish more people understood.

1. The best injectables are the ones you don’t notice.

If you’ve spent any time on social media, it’s easy to think everyone who gets neurotoxin or filler ends up looking frozen or overfilled. Those are often the faces that get the most attention because they’re the most obvious. But in my day-to-day practice, that’s simply not what I see.

Every week, I treat women whose goal isn’t to look different. They want to look a little more rested. They want their makeup to stop settling into a crease. They want to soften the line that makes them look angry in every Zoom meeting. They still want to look like themselves.

The funny thing is, the best compliment they can receive isn’t, “Did you get Botox?” It’s, “You look so well-rested,” or “You look great, did you do something different?” without anyone being able to put their finger on exactly what changed.

That’s because good aesthetics are meant to be additive, not attention-grabbing. The goal isn’t for someone to notice your treatment. The goal is for them to notice you. People notice bad work because good work is invisible.

2. Prevention isn’t about looking 25 forever.

I have mixed feelings about the phrase preventative Botox. It implies that aging is something we’re supposed to stop before it even begins, as if every line is a problem waiting to happen. I don’t believe that’s the goal.

When used thoughtfully, neurotoxin can help soften repetitive muscle movement that contributes to certain wrinkles over time. But your face is still going to change. It should. Aging isn’t a failure of prevention; it’s part of being alive.

For me, the goal has never been to help someone look 25 forever. It’s to help them look like the healthiest, most confident version of themselves at whatever age they are.

3. Sometimes the best treatment is no treatment.

This one surprises people.

Some of my favorite appointments are the ones where I tell someone they don’t need filler. Or that they’d get a better result from improving their skincare. Or that what they’re seeing in the mirror is simply a normal part of being human.

Working in aesthetics has taught me that not every concern needs to be corrected. Sometimes all someone needs is reassurance that they don’t look nearly as “old,” “tired,” or “uneven” as they think they do.

I never want someone to feel like they have to leave my office with a treatment. The best providers aren’t trying to sell you more, they’re trying to help you make the right decision, even if that decision is to do nothing at all.

Subscribe now

4. Social media has changed the way we see ourselves.

If there’s one thing I’ve noticed over the last several years, it’s this: women are beginning to look at themselves differently. There is far more comparison in today’s world than there was when I started ten years ago.

Patients come into the office pointing out things they never used to notice. A slight shadow under their eyes. A tiny line that appears only when they smile. Skin texture that’s completely normal. More often than not, those concerns have been amplified by hours spent scrolling social media, comparing themselves to filtered faces, or seeing close-up videos filmed under perfect lighting.

Our expectations have quietly shifted.

We’re comparing our real faces, moving, expressive, and seen from a normal conversational distance, to curated images captured six inches from a ring light, edited, filtered, and replayed over and over again. No one was meant to examine their face with that level of scrutiny.

I genuinely believe this has affected women’s confidence more than any wrinkle ever could.

At the end of the day, I don’t think every woman needs injectables. But I do think every woman deserves honest information.

My hope is that women feel educated enough to separate internet opinions from reality, confident enough to ask questions, and empowered to make the decision that’s right for them, whether that’s booking an appointment or deciding they’re perfectly happy without one.

There shouldn’t be shame in getting injectables. And there shouldn’t be shame in choosing not to. My job has never been to convince women they need something. It’s to help them make informed decisions about their own faces. Whether you embrace every wrinkle, soften a few with neurotoxin, or land somewhere in between, the choice should be yours.

Education creates confidence. And confident women make better decisions than fearful ones.

But when I got into bed that night, I was exhausted. As if I had run a marathon. And if you asked me, “What was your favorite part of the day?” I would have to think really hard about it. Not because nothing good happened, but because I spent the entire day measuring what I was accomplishing.

It made me wonder if we’ve quietly started measuring the wrong things.

Instead of asking ourselves...“Did I get everything done? What if we asked... “What did I laugh at today?” “Did I feel rushed all day?” “Did I actually play with my kids, or just manage them?”“Did I text a friend I haven’t talk to in a minute?”

We count steps. We count unread emails. We count followers. We count productivity. We count birthdays, milestones, and accomplishments. We count calories. We count hours slept. But there are actually so many things that matter more that can’t be counted.

I am so guilty of this. Every morning I make a checklist. It's satisfying to cross things off. It makes me feel productive. Like I'm winning the day.

What if we started to keep track of different things? Could you imagine?

This morning I used our sexy new espresso machine (that has been quite the learning curve), instead of the regular pot of coffee. Joy! What about the moment my kids told me I was “soOoOo funny.” Or how about last night when I just sat on the couch, not trying to optimize every moment.

Those moments don’t make for impressive metrics, but highly likely they will exist as things I’ll remember. Because I think the things that matter the most don’t show up on the checklist, but yet we very easily let the checklist become the scoreboard for our lives.

Maybe we’re not failing because we’re doing too little. Maybe we’re just measuring the wrong things. I think I just figured out my goal for July.

But after treating thousands of patients, and now navigating my own skin through pregnancy, motherhood, sleepless nights, stress, and my mid-thirties, I’ve realized that good beauty advice should make your life easier, not more complicated.

A lot of us aren’t trying to look 25. We’re trying to look healthy… and honestly, just rested.

These are the beauty rules I don’t believe anymore.

1. You need a complicated skincare routine.

Somewhere along the way, skincare became a 12-step production.

Cleanser. Toner. Serums. Eye Cream. Another serum. Night mask.

Most women don’t need more products. They need products that they will actually use.

If you’re busy, ie working, raising kids, trying to drink enough water before your coffee gets cold, a simple routine you’ll do every day will outperform the long routine you only do twice a week.

My own routine is surprisingly boring. Consistency will always beaten complexity.

2. Expensive automatically means better.

There are products worth splurging on and there are products you don’t need to purchase over $20.

I’ve seen incredible skin on women using simple routines, and I’ve seen disappointing results from medicine cabinets full of luxury products.

Spend where the formula matters. Save where it doesn’t. Price and quality do not mean the same thing.

3. More filler means you stay younger.

You would be shocked at how frequently I say no to patients wanting filler.

In my opinion, no one should ever need to ask “what have you had done.”

Done well, aesthetic treatments should make people wonder if you just got back from vacation or finally started sleeping again.

Sometimes the best treatment plan is actually less.

4. Every wrinkle is an emergency.

I see so many women panic the second they notice a line around their eyes or forehead. And I get it, but I’ve also realized something. The women I think are the most beautiful are not completely wrinkle free.

Their skin looks healthy. Their face still moves. They honestly look like themselves.

I’ve become much more interested in preserving expression than chasing perfection.

5. You need every trending product.

We consume a lot of information, tips and tricks, whatever on social media. There is always someone linking something, a new cream, a new device, a new ingredient.

Most of the things that have consistently improved skin for decades are actually pretty boring. Heres the list: daily sunscreen, retinoid, vitamin c, moisturizer.

It’s not necessarily sexy. But it works.

6. Looking younger should be the goal.

This one has changed for me the most. Especially after becoming a mom. I’m less interested in looking younger than I did at twenty-eight. I’m more interested in looking healthy.

Like someone who takes care of herself.

Those things age much better than chasing an earlier version of yourself.

And lastly….

Motherhood and career experience has a funny way of changing what feels important.

There was a time when I’d spend far more energy worrying about a new wrinkle than whether I’d had enough sleep. Now I know those two things are usually connected.

I’ve realized that taking care of myself isn’t about trying to freeze time. It’s about having the energy to fully live the season I’m in. And it’s honestly something I pride myself in sharing with patients. Patients will say “I look tired.” And I respond, “Are you tired?” Because that is important. Because people are in different stages of life, and we need to respect where we are.

So yes, I’ll keep wearing sunscreen. I’ll keep using my retinoid (when I’m not pregnant.) I’ll always love Botox.

But I’ll also keep choosing long walks, lifting weights, drinking more water, asking for help when I need it, and saying yes to getting in the family photos. Because looking like myself has become much more important than looking younger.

Don’t get me wrong, I love skincare and get aesthetic treatments done (botox, lasers, etc). It’s a huge part of my life and career. But a good makeup product can make you look more rested, more radiant, and more put together in a matter of minutes.

After years of trying products, working in aesthetics, and getting ready during the chaos of motherhood, I’ve become ruthlessly selective about what stays in my makeup bag.

So if everything disappeared tomorrow, these are the eight products I’d immediately buy again.

1. No Makeup Makeup Foundation

Formulated with jojoba oil to soften and smooth skin and vitamin E to help maintain moisture. This foundation is super lightweight and blends so easily into whatever complexion you have. I wear shade light-medium.

2. IT Cosmetics CC+ Nude Glow

If you are looking for something with a little more coverage, this is for you. This is a wonderful color corrector that leaves you with even skin and a healthy glow. So many shades to choose from, but I go with light-medium.

3. RMS Beauty Revitalize Hydra Concealer

I don’t think I’ve met a patient that says, “I love my under eyes.” This one brightens, but doesn’t leave creases. I’ve personally noticed that this one will stay on all day. Pick a shade lighter if you want a more brightening effect. (code busybeingbridget15 for discount)

4. DIBS Double Standard Primer & Mascara Duo

This product has sold out multiple times for a reason. Anything that gives me more, but saves space in a bag is it for me. On one end, a brown tubing primer that separates, defines, and lengthens. On the other, a rich black mascara with a bold, wavy bristle brush that lifts and thickens.

5. Mini Soft Glam II Eye Shadow Palette

The perfect neutral palette. I am never doing too much eye makeup, but when I want to add a little natural color to my eyes, I find myself reaching for this palette. The colors range from matte to a shimmer, making it perfect for day or night.

6. Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Freeze

I watched my co-worker use this for an entire year before trying myself. Now I don’t really want to use anything else. It locks in the brows for the entire day, and doesn’t leave the white residue a lot of other brow gels leave.

7. Saie Dew Blush

To me, you can’t have enough blush. This one is a little newer to my routine, but it’s the one I find myself reaching for on a daily use. I use the shade ‘chilly,’ and feels like it gives you that elevated pop of color without looking like a clown. It’s a liquid-cream formula and easily blendable with fingertips or brush.

8. MERIT Shade Slick Hydrating Tinted Lip Oil

I hate lip gloss that is too sticky!! This one is lightweight and gives you a touch of color, without being too much. It’s a great finishing touch. I have a few shades, but I would say Pointelle is my favorite.

As someone who spends most days talking to women and my evenings raising young children, I've become fascinated by the habits and mindsets that seem to make motherhood feel lighter. And the more I think about it, the more I realize it has very little to do with personality.

Here are five things I’ve noticed.

1. They don’t try to win every battle.

They know which hills matter and they save their energy for the things they truly care about and let the rest go. My favorite question is, “What are you cooking for dinner?” And I am here to tell you a lot of moms aren’t landing on the most perfectly balanced meal. Or maybe their child wore a mismatched outfit to school. Or bedtime happened thirty minutes later than planned. The point is that not every moment requires correction.

2. They let some things be good enough.

And this one is hard for me. I like things done well. I like a clean house and routines. I like order.

But I’ve noticed that the mothers who seem the most overwhelmed are often carrying impossibly high standards for every area of life at the same time. Me. That’s me. The house… meals… work… activities.. holidays… relationships… the list goes on, and something eventually has to give.

The mothers who seem less stressed have often decided in advance where “good enough” is enough.

3. They order groceries…. and more.

One of the biggest surprises for me has been realizing that many of the women who appear to have it all together aren’t necessarily doing more. They’re actually doing less, but in a “think smarter, not harder way.” They order groceries. They hire help when they can. Somewhere along the way, motherhood became tangled up with the idea that doing everything yourself is somehow more virtuous and I’m not convinced thats true. So if you are me, I recommend just ordering the groceries.

4. They don’t make being needed their entire identity.

And I hope no one takes offense to this, but I’ve noticed that the happiest mothers seem to maintain a small part of themselves that belongs only to them. And that’s REALLY HARD to balance. Maybe it’s a career, maybe a hobby, tennis lessons, maybe friendships.

Their entire sense of worth isn’t dependent on being needed every minute of every day.

And because of that, they seem to show up with more patience and less resentment.

Subscribe now

5. They’ve accepted that someone will always be unhappy with their choices.

And this one might be the heaviest hitter. People will always have something to say. You work too much. You don’t work enough. You’re too strict. You’re to relaxed. Have a sleep schedule. Kids don’t need a sleep schedule.

There is no version of motherhood where everyone approves.

The mothers who seem less stressed appear to understand this. They make the best decision they can with the information they have, and then they move forward. And the really don’t care what others might say.

I don’t write this because I’ve mastered any of it. I’m honestly writing these because these are the exact areas I should work on.

But these are the patterns I keep noticing. The goal isn’t to be a stress free mother, but maybe just one who carries a little less of what was never hers to carry in the first place.

Not a 12-step routine. Not a cabinet full of serums (I have so much to say about serums). Not whatever TikTok convinced you to buy last week.

Just the foundational routine I recommend to almost every single patient, no matter their age, budget, or skin type. I’ve come to learn that most people don’t need more products. They just need the right ones, used consistently.

The Core Philosophy: Protect, Correct, and Support

This routine is built on three evidence-based pillars:

1. Protection - preventing damage (SPF)
2. Correction - improving skin function (vitamin C + retinol)
3. Support - maintaining the skin barrier (cleanser + moisturizer)

If you do these things consistently, your skin will be healthier, brighter, smoother, and more resilient over time.

The Simple Daily Routine

Morning (AM)

1. Cleanse (if oily) or splash with water (if dry)

2. Vitamin C serum

3. Moisturizer

4. Tinted mineral SPF

Night (PM)

1. Cleanse

2. Retinol (2–3 nights per week)

3. Moisturizer

Step-by-Step: Why These Products Make the Cut

Cleanser

Cleansing removes sweat, oil, sunscreen, makeup, and pollution. But here’s the nuance I tell patients all the time:

• Oily or acne-prone skin: use a gentle cleanser in the morning.

• Dry or sensitive skin: skip the cleanser and just splash with cool water.

Over-cleansing is one of the most common reasons I see irritated, tight, reactive skin.

My exact picks:

For dry + sensitive skin | For acne prone | double cleansing

Vitamin C (Your Morning Multitasker)

If I could pick only one serum for the morning, it would be vitamin C.

Why? Because it:

• Brightens dull skin

• Helps fade dark spots

• Stimulates collagen

• Protects against environmental damage

• Boosts the effectiveness of your sunscreen

It’s one of the most researched and clinically supported ingredients in skincare. They can be pricey, but this is where I recommend putting your money.

Pricey, but what I use | If you are easily irritated | Budget Friendly Option

Moisturizer (Yes, Everyone Needs One)

Even oily skin.

A good moisturizer:

• Strengthens your skin barrier

• Reduces irritation

• Helps actives like retinol work better

• Improves overall texture and glow

Dehydrated skin can actually produce more oil to compensate, which is why skipping moisturizer often backfires.

K-beauty barrier repair | For dry + sensitive skin | A holy grail favorite

Tinted Mineral SPF (Your Most Important Step)

If you did nothing else but wear sunscreen every day, you’d still be ahead of most people.

Daily SPF:

• Prevents wrinkles

• Reduces pigmentation

• Protects against skin cancer

• Maintains results from any treatments

I specifically recommend tinted mineral SPF because:

• It contains iron oxides, which help protect against visible light (a big trigger for pigmentation).

• It gives a subtle, even tone, so many women can skip foundation altogether.

The only one I use

Retinol (2–3 Nights Per Week)

Retinol is the gold standard ingredient for:

• Smoothing fine lines

• Improving texture

• Reducing acne

• Boosting collagen

• Evening skin tone

But here’s where most people go wrong: they use it every single night right away.

This leads to:

• Redness

• Peeling

• Irritation

• Giving up completely

Instead, I recommend:

• Start 2–3 nights per week

• Use a pea-sized amount

• Follow with moisturizer. If you are getting intensely dry, use the sandwich method. Apply moisturizer, then retinol, then moisturizer again.

Consistency matters more than intensity.

Options for beginners | for those ready to step it up | Affordable option

Why I Start Every Patient Here

Whether someone is 28 with acne, 35 noticing signs of aging, 42 with melasma, or 50+ wanting smoother skin…. we start here.

This routine includes steps that are clinically proven. They address the most common concerns and build a strong foundation. Most importantly, they prevent wasted money on trendy products.

Once this routine is consistent, then we can layer in the exfoliating acids, pigment correctors, in office treatments. But I always, always recommend this routine.

It starts with the Halloween parade that is conveniently scheduled at 10 am on a Wednesday, followed by the Thanksgiving classroom feast (that you can’t make), leading up to the holiday early dismissals and mid-afternoon Christmas concerts - that you of course want to be at, but how the hell are you going to sneak out at 2 pm… again. Not to mention the ordering and mailing of Christmas cards, completing the Santa shopping, figuring out Christmas outfits (for yourself too), and holding the entire family’s emotional temperature steady while pretending you’re totally fine.

It’s the season when the invisible load stops being invisible, because suddenly it’s printed on the refrigerator calendar in bold font. And somewhere between the third “Who’s picking me up from school today?” (dismissal for my three year old is at 12 pm) and your fifteenth calendar reminder of the day, you start interrogating every choice you’ve made since becoming a parent. I know this because I’m doing it and in fact, I’ve been asking every female patient if she’s doing it too. And through my extensive research, nearly 99% of my working moms I talk to are doing it too.

But before I continue, two things can be true at once; you can love your job and still feel a deep pull to be with your kids. Missing them doesn’t mean you don’t want to work, and wanting to work doesn’t mean you love them any less.

And in that spirit, here are the five biggest mistakes I have made as a working mom…

1. Letting guilt make the decisions. It looks like overcommitting, over-explaining, and overlooking your own wins. It’s as if wanting time, space, or support needs a thesis-level justification. You’re so focused on what you aren’t doing, that you miss everything you are doing.

2. Ignoring my own identity outside of motherhood and work. Hobbies you once loved get pushed aside, friendships fade because you “don’t have time,” and personal goals feel downright indulgent. And if I’m really speaking honestly, your marriage suffers. Date nights get postponed, meaningful conversations shrink to logistics and to-do lists, and your partner starts feeling like a co-parent rather than a life partner. Carving out time for yourself isn’t selfish, but it sure can feel that way.

3. Assuming career growth has to wait. You convince yourself that stepping up for a promotion, taking on a new project, or saying yes to a career opportunity will automatically throw your carefully balanced life into chaos. So you hold back, thinking you’re protecting your family and preserving sanity, when in reality, you’re just shortchanging your own potential and undervaluing your skills. I do believe career growth doesn’t have to come at the expense of your family; but it does come with planning, boundaries, and a little creative problem-solving to expand your professional life while keeping your home life intact.

4. Apologizing for parenting. You find yourself saying sorry for leaving work a little early, for taking a half day when your child is sick, or saying no to an event. Over time, this constant apologizing chips away at your confidence and reinforces the idea that your personal life is secondary to your professional one. They can coexist. It’s apart of you.

5. Rushing through the moments that matter. I’ve hurried bedtime, rushed playtime, and tried to multitask my way through the evening bedtime routine. In the pursuit of getting everything done, the small, irreplaceable moments, the giggles, the questions, the wrestling, often slip by unnoticed.

The holiday season and end of the year… is crazy. Personally, professionally, any which way you look at it. Being a working mom comes with a constant balancing act. Letting go of guilt, setting boundaries, protecting personal time, and slowing down during the moments that matter doesn’t make anyone less dedicated; it makes life more sustainable and meaningful.

Beauty gifts can be really hard as they are often personalized to each persons skin. These are all safe bets as gifts.

Dibs Double Standard Primer & Mascara Duo (ob-freaking-sessed!!)

YSE The Overachiever Brightening & Depuffing Eye Patches

Big Effing Clip® Hair Claw

Elemis Pro-Collagen Anti Aging Marine Cream

Overnight Vitalizing Mask (a K-beauty favorite)

Kaja Eye Bento Bouncy Eyeshadow Trio

Makeup by Mario Master Mattes® Eyeshadow Palette

Ilia The Base Face Milk Essence

Nécessaire Hand Cream

For the little ones…

Kids plush slippers

Rey to Z custom baseball hat

Double sided easel

Bombas Youth Gripper Slipper

Make Me A Pizza! Set

Check Sweatshirt & Joggers Set

Stripe Quarter Zip Sweater & Joggers Set

Kids Scalloped Bathrobe

Block Print Quilted Backpack

For the home … (one of my favorites to make)

Antrhopologie Pressed Floral Footed Vase

Acacia Wood Salad Serving Bowl (we have this and it’s perfect for hosting)

Tortoise Brass Resin Picture Frame

Carmel 3-Part Ceramic Dip Bowl & Tray

Reservations Needlepoint Decorative Pillow

Glass Candlestick Pair

Lulu and Georgia Rook Picture Frame

Anthropologie Ruffled Glass Bud Vase (under $50!!)

Tipped Puffer Faux-Fur Throw Blanket

Louisa Monogram Gallery Wall Charm (bought one for my own home, and purchased for a family member who were new home owners. So pretty.)

For him - I asked on my IG stories who was the hardest to shop for and nearly everyone said, “dad, boyfriend, husband.” So this year I dedicated two guides to the men in your life.

Halfday Travel Bag - premium garmet duffel (the way this folds up is incredible!)

Mark & Graham Rustic Leather Tech Catchall Tray

Vuori Clothing Beanie

Bonobos Italian Wool Fleece Jacket

Bad Birdie Golf Green Micro Floral Shirt

Quince Leather MagSafe Wallet & Phone Stand

Crosley Radio Voyager Record Player

TOMS Navi Water Resistant Chukka Boot

Melin Coronado Brick Hydro Performance Snapback Hat

More for the men…

Lululemon Soft Jersey Short-Sleeve Shirt

YETI Camino 35 Carryall Bag

Ballparks Past and Present Leather Coffee Table Book

Vuori Kore Unlined 7” Short

Personalized Golf Essentials Gift Set

Highline Weekender Bag

Vuori Cascade Tech Chino Pants

Faherty Coastline Knit Button-Down Shirt

For her - just send these links right over to those shopping for you :)

Melie Bianco Ezra Faux-Suede Tote

Restore 2.0 Oversize Sweatshirt

Leather Card Case and Keychain for AirTag Set

Madewell Triple Metal Keeper Belt

Madewell Straight-Hem Shirt

Fleece Cady Quarter Zip

Eberjey Gisele Relaxed PJ Set (my absolute favorite)

New Balance 327 Sneakers

Quince Mongolian Cashmere Oversized Crewneck Sweater

Heaven Mayhem Baby Knot Earrings (A great $85 price point!!)

For little somethings to bring to a friend or family member but you want to stay within budget!

Fillmore Diamond Travel Pouch

Everlane The Box-Cut Tee

J. Crew Sculptural hoop earrings

Merit Tinted Lip Oil (Always in my work bag, my everyday go to)

Merit Flush Balm Cream Blush

Monogram Note Card & Envelopes Set

Crystal Tennis Bracelet

Bubble Letter Monogram Bag Charm

Cognac Zen Slippers ($48!!!)

Natural Large Canvas Tote

Espresso Martini Ornament

For the Techie …

Bose SoundLink Micro Bluetooth Speaker (under $100!)

Kindle Paperwhite (used mine last night)

Skylight (such a perfect gift for family that may live further away)

Skylight Calendar (thinking about asking this for myself!)

Therabody 3 speed massage gun

Ember Temperature Control Smart Mug

Therabody SmartGoggles

CurrentBody Red Light Mask (code BUSYBEINGBRIDGET for discount!)

Bose Wireless Noise Canceling Headphones

The good news? With the right approach, you can calm your skin, strengthen your barrier, and stop feeling like you need to hide under layers of tinted SPF and thick foundation.

First: Focus on Barrier Health

Redness-prone skin often has a compromised barrier, meaning it lets in more irritants and loses moisture faster. Simplify your routine. I always recommend during a flare, stop almost all your products. Think gentle cleanser, nourishing moisturizer, SPF. That’s it.

Second: Three Key Ingredients to Look For

If you’re redness-prone, build your routine around these clinically backed ingredients-

1. Niacinamide (Vitamin B3)
   A multitasking hero that reduces inflammation, strengthens your skin barrier, and improves tolerance over time. Look for 2–5% concentrations if your skin is sensitive.

2. Azelaic Acid
   This one’s a dermatologist favorite for rosacea. It helps reduce redness, bumps, and even pigmentation, all while calming inflammation. It’s available over the counter (10%) or by prescription (15–20%). This product is under $40 and a fan favorite.

3. Botanical blends (from the professionals, not your home garden)
   Plant extracts, like aloe, can be known for its skin-soothing and repairing properties. This product cools skin’s surface temperature by -5°F immediately upon application and strengthens skin’s barrier by +40%.1

Bonus Tips from a PA Who’s Been There

• I’ve linked all my favorite products here.

• Avoid scrubs or harsh exfoliants, they’ll only make things worse. As much as you want to use your retinol and glycolics, give it a break until the redness is under control.

• Keep your routine lukewarm (literally). Hot water and saunas are triggers.

• A green-tinted moisturizer or SPF can neutralize visible redness for a calm, confident glow. This one is perfect for that.

• BBL laser can help. This is a non-invasive, light-based treatment that uses a broad spectrum of wavelengths to target and improve various skin conditions

Your skin isn’t “problem” skin, it’s just sensitive and responds to what it doesn’t need. Once you strip back the noise and focus on supporting it, it will return the favor.

Have redness-prone skin? I’d love to hear what’s worked for you, reply or leave a comment below!

August always feels like a blur, equal parts golden sunsets, back-to-routine energy, and those little daily joys that carry you through the in-between moments. As I looked back on the month, I found myself smiling at the simple things that made it feel special: products I reached for on repeat, small rituals that grounded me, and bits of inspiration that brightened my days. Here are 10 things I loved in August… maybe they’ll spark a little joy for you too.

Sam Edelman Lorraine Loafer - I have these in three different colors. And best yet, they last years!

Gap 365 High Rise Pleated Trouser - Loved them so much, got them in a second pair. You can play with kids, go to work, hang out all day in them.

WaterBoy Electrolyte Daily Packets - I throw these in my bags and it makes the routine water less boring. Not too salty, but not too sweet (which a lot of electrolyte packets can taste like.)

Auden Scoop Bralette - I am always on the hunt for a non-padded, but durable bra. I wear this under scrubs, under t-shirts, literally all the time… and the price point is it.

Drunk Elephant Protini Polypeptide Cream - It’s a perfect weight for this transition season between hot and cold weather. This cream doesn’t smell and give the hydration I need.

Joie Chili Spin 360 - After my first child, I always don’t friends, “You don’t need a spinning carseat.” I was gifted one for my second child, and boy, I’m eating my words!

Samba OG Shoes - A cute sneaker all the girls are wearing.. for $100. Great with trousers or athleisure.

Living Proof High Shine Gloss - If you find that your hair needs shine, especially after you blow dry - try this product. You put it on in the shower after conditioning. Leave it on for 5 minutes, rinse it out, and you will be so impressed.

Double Standard Primer & Mascara Duo - I love how this is two products in one. Makes it easy for quick routines, easy for travel, and easy to bring your lashes to the next level.

Melissa and Doug Fruit Cutting Set - I purchased this for my 2.5 year old daughter and she will play with it for a solid 30 minutes. And for toddlers, that means it’s a keeper.

Red Light Masks - Yes!!

Red light therapy is one of the few at-home devices with strong science behind it. Consistent use of FDA-cleared red light masks can stimulate collagen, calm inflammation, and improve overall skin tone. The key here is consistency. Using your mask for 10–20 minutes, a few times a week, is where you’ll see results. Think of it like exercise, benefits come with regular use, not a one-time session.

I have two favorites: this one (a little more expensive, more LED lights, eye inserts) or this one (tighter fit, separate controller, slightly higher power output, so potentially faster results).

Microcurrent Devices - Yes, but do your research

Microcurrent tools send tiny electrical currents through the skin to stimulate facial muscles and boost circulation, leaving skin temporarily lifted and toned. The effect is subtle, but when used consistently, it can make a real difference.

That said, not all devices are created equal. Some are clinically tested, others are just marketing fluff. Results are also temporary, so this is a commitment device, you need to use it a few times a week to maintain that lifted look.

I use this one. It’s strong. Make sure to use the gel!

Microneedling - Not at home

Microneedling is fantastic in a dermatologist’s office, where sterile, professional-grade tools can safely create micro-injuries to stimulate collagen. But at home? Big no.

At-home rollers often don’t penetrate deep enough to deliver real results, or worse, they can damage your skin barrier, cause infection, and spread bacteria if not properly sterilized. If microneedling is on your wishlist, make an appointment and leave it to the professionals.

Other Devices You May Hear About

At-Home Lasers (Mixed)

Some low-level fractional lasers are now available for home use. They claim to help with fine lines and pigmentation. If you ask my professional opinion, I’m going to go with no.

High-Frequency Wands (Yes, but for acne control)

These little glass wands deliver a mild electrical current to kill acne-causing bacteria and reduce inflammation. They won’t erase wrinkles (although they may claim to), but if you get occasional breakouts, this can be a helpful tool.

Facial Rollers & Gua Sha (Yes - for relaxation, circulation, and puffiness)

Do they rebuild collagen? No. But they’re lovely for de-puffing, moving lymph, and making your skincare routine feel like a little ritual.

The Bottom Line

At-home devices can absolutely enhance your skincare routine, but not all are worth your investment (and they can for sure be pricey). Red light masks and microcurrent devices are solid choices and my favorite at home options, if you’re ready to commit to consistent use.

Pregnancy changes everything, from how you sleep, to what you eat, to how your skin reacts. For many of us, it’s the first time we really pause and look closely at the ingredients in our products. Suddenly, you’re starting to second guess everything - maybe you notice some breakouts, maybe you notice melasma (“the mask of pregnancy” - patchy darkness on you’re forehead, cheeks, or upper lip) popping up.

The truth is: your skin goes through just as many ups and downs as the rest of your body during pregnancy. Hormones shift, circulation changes, and your body’s priority is now growing a tiny human. Skincare during pregnancy is not complicated, so don’t make it that way. And I am happy to report - you probably don’t have to change much from what you are already using.

Ingredients to Pause During Pregnancy

• Retinoids (Vitamin A derivatives): These are some of the most effective anti-aging ingredients, but they’re a no-go in pregnancy. While topical retinoids deliver far lower systemic absorption than oral isotretinoin (you may know it as Accutane), several case reports and observational studies have suggested potential associations between topical use and congenital anomalies.

• Hydroquinone: Often used for brightening and depigmenting the skin, has a very high systemic absorption rate when applied topically. Although no strong human teratogenicity data exist, the significant absorption raises concern for potential fetal exposure.

  Thanks for reading tender tones! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

Ingredients That Tend to Be Safe (and Helpful)

• Vitamin C: Brightens and supports collagen, safe to use daily. This product is about to be your best friend. I discuss some of my favorite vitamin c’s here. If you find that your vitamin C is causing breakouts, try this one. If there is time to splurge on a product, it would be vitamin C during pregnancy.

• Niacinamide: Calms redness, supports the barrier, and reduces uneven tone.

• Hyaluronic acid: A lifesaver for dehydration and plumpness. HA away my friends.

• Azelaic acid: One of the few actives considered safe and effective for acne and pigmentation during pregnancy. I love this one.

• Salicylic acid: Generally considered safe for use during pregnancy when used in low concentrations (2% or less) and for limited periods. This is great news for all my acne prone friends. I used this one for both my pregnancies and everyday since.

• Benzoyl Peroxide: considered safe to use during pregnancy, as only a very small amount is absorbed through the skin and it is rapidly metabolized, making systemic exposure minimal. If you are using it, it’s okay to keep using it.

• Glycolic Acid: concentrations of 10% or less is generally considered safe in pregnancy, as absorption is minimal and it can help with common concerns like dullness and breakouts. Yes, you read that right - keep using glycolic.

Sunscreen Becomes Essential

One of the biggest changes I noticed was pigmentation, especially around my cheeks and forehead. Melasma is something I battle to this day. It’s strongly linked to sun exposure and hormones. Getting into your hot car can exacerbate it. Daily sunscreen, rain or shine (I’m not kidding) isn’t just a recommendation, it’s non-negotiable. I recommend a mineral tinted sunscreen, like this one. *to be honest, I recommend this pregnant or not.*

A special shoutout to my favorite pregnancy product

If dark spots and hyperpigmentation have you down, splurge on this.

Final Thoughts

Pregnancy is a season of change, and your skincare routine doesn’t need to be perfect, it just needs to support you. As you can see, you actually don’t have to completely overhaul your routine. Pregnancy is a temporary chapter of your life, so roll with it. We’ll save breastfeeding & skincare for another day….

Pregnant with my first (ps- where did my butt go? We’ll never know.) vs.

pregnant with my second.

Why Vitamin C Matters for Skin Health

Our skin is constantly under attack from reactive oxygen species (ROS), better known as free radicals. These molecules are generated by UV radiation, pollution, and even normal cellular metabolism. Left unchecked, they damage proteins, lipids, and DNA, accelerating photoaging and contributing to fine lines, wrinkles, and hyperpigmentation.

Vitamin C is a potent antioxidant that neutralizes ROS before they can cause harm. Beyond its antioxidant activity, it:

• Stimulates collagen synthesis

• Reduces hyperpigmentation

• Enhances photoprotection when combined with sunscreen

Clinical studies have shown that topical Vitamin C decreases UV-induced damage and improves skin texture, tone, and elasticity when used consistently.

Why Morning Use Is Critical

Timing matters. Vitamin C should be applied in the morning as part of your antioxidant defense system. During the day, your skin encounters its highest exposure to oxidative stressors like sunlight and pollution. When applied first thing in the morning, Vitamin C reduces free radical formation throughout the day and works synergistically with sunscreen to provide enhanced photo-protection.

Application order:

1. Cleanse

2. Vitamin C serum

3. Moisturizer (optional, depending on skin type)

4. Broad-spectrum sunscreen (SPF 30 or higher)

How to Choose the Right One

Not all Vitamin C products are created equal. Look for:

• L-ascorbic acid (the most studied and effective form).

• Concentrations between 10–20% for best results.

• Dark or opaque packaging to keep the formula stable.

The Bottom Line

Adding Vitamin C to your morning skincare routine is one of the simplest, most effective ways to protect your skin and keep it looking bright, youthful, and healthy. Think of it as a daily glass of orange juice for your face, energizing, protective, and glow-boosting.

In short: Sunscreen protects. Vitamin C defends. Together, they form the foundation of effective anti-aging skincare.

My Personal Recommendations:

• SkinCeuticals CE Ferulic ($185) - Very frequently referred to as the GOAT. SkinCeuticals always had a patent on this formulation, inhibiting all other brands from using it.

• Drunk Elephant C Firma ($79) - I have used this product for years.

• Skndustry C-Suite ($135) - I find this to be a top top dupe contender to CE Ferulic. (*code BRIDGET10 for discount)

• La Roche-Posay 10% Pure Vitamin C Serum ($45) - budget friendly, but lower percentage of L-ascorbic acid. Also includes salicylic acid for those that are acne prone.

• Caudalie Vinoperfect Radiance Serum ($82) - If you find vitamin C to cause breakouts or extensive irritation, look at something like this.

At first, the quiet was startling. Without her little voice narrating every moment of the day, the house felt bigger, emptier. But there was also space, literal and mental, that I hadn’t felt in a long, long time.

I spent those four days with Crew, our 15-month-old, just the two of us. We slipped into an easy rhythm I didn’t even know we were missing. I noticed the way he babbles when it’s just us, how he is way sillier than I realized, how he toddles after me with a grin so wide it tips him over. Having that one-on-one time felt like a gift, rare in this season where my attention is so often divided.

I also learned it’s okay to enjoy the break. Missing my daughter and appreciating the slower pace can exist side by side. I didn’t feel guilty about the quieter mornings, or the fact that I could think clearly without constant interruptions. Resting doesn’t diminish my love for her, in some ways, it makes me appreciate it more.

And here’s what struck me most: even at 2.5, she’s building her own sense of independence. She had her dad, new surroundings, and a routine that didn’t involve me, and as sad as that made me- she was okay. More than okay. She was thriving. I realized that a little space, even at this age, can be healthy for both of us.

I won’t lie, I took to ChatGPT once or twice asking, “Will my toddler forget me?” Surprise, Chat said, “no way, girl.”

When they came home, she felt taller, chattier, somehow older. Our reunion was sweet in the way only a few days apart can make it. There was this sense of joy of being together again.

Motherhood, I’m learning, is made up of these small but significant moments of holding on and letting go. And sometimes, letting go, even for just four nights, makes the holding on that much sweeter.

1. I recently rediscovered this serum and forgot how much luxury could fit in a bottle. Aiming to reduce dark spots and even skin tone, this milky and smooth product has become my first reach in the morning.

2. This hat hasn’t come off Crew. It’s sweaty, filled with sunscreen, and chlorine filled, but finding a hat that fits a growing baby/toddler, is so hard.

3. I have these jeans in two colors - a true denim blue and a cream. I’ve worn both countless times. As a mom who is trying to find her style again, I aim to invest in pieces that are worth it and save in other areas. But just a note, although cropped on the 6’ 2 model, they are a perfect full length for my 5’ 1 frame.

   Thanks for reading tender tones! Subscribe for free to receive new posts.

4. As a health professional in the skincare world, a popular debate is do at home devices work? My answer: some do and some don’t. The key is to be consistent with use. I’ve been playing around with this one and yes, you do see a difference.

5. A goal of mine is to elevate my at home, running errands, let’s get on the ground with the kids, style. And if it’s a set like this one, it’s even easier to feel effortless on the busiest of days.

6. Speaking of motherhood, do your kids like bubbles? Mine do. And this $10 product can keep us outside for 10 hours (not really, but you get the point).

7. I wanted a classic black flat, that I could wear to work, walk a mile, and then go to dinner. Here is what I chose.

8. I am down to take my kids outside to play on the driveway, kick their balls around, play with chalk, but you bet, I’m pulling up a chair to take a load off. This was a purchase made from my husband… and one of his best.

9. It’s not my usual style, but I’ve found myself gravitating to this shirt. The fit is perfect (oversized), looks adorable paired with a denim, playful, yet practical.

10. My most recent read. Clementine West, an overworked grief‑stricken book publicist, discovers her late aunt’s magical New York apartment periodically transports her seven years into the past, where she meets and falls for Iwan, a charming aspiring chef living there, forcing her to confront timing, change, and healing across time as their relationship unfolds between past and present.