1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 and 16 (16 is probably the only one I can afford currently).

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Starting with Hatoya Hotel in Ito, a cute beachside town about an hour drive from Tokyo or a 20 minute train ride.

I mainly booked this for the striped tunnel (which is worth it in itself) but every inch of Hatoya Hotel is worth seeing. If you are used to 5-star luxury hotels maybe give this one a miss but if you want to feel like you stepped in a timewarp/backrooms this is for you.

The buffet is very simple (kind of sucks) but there is a beer vending machine in the basement as well as a random games arcade, massage chairs and a smoking room. If I was to stay again I would dedicate an entire day to photos and then play a drinking game where I drink a beer in every weird room I find.

There is a beach within walking distance if you visit in Summer and a few little ramen joints. And if you don’t have tattoos there is an onsen at the hotel.

Only about 20 minutes away in Atami, we have Hotel New Akao.

Make sure you stay in the Ocean Wing not the Horizon Wing (Horizon Wing is newer and not as cool). For starters, I hit the breakfast and dinner buffet multiple times and it never disappointed. At about 5.30pm everyone starts lining up for the buffet in the hotel clothes and slippers and you feel a little like you’re in a retirement home or a prison but it’s worth it.

A lot busier than Hatoya Hotel but has a beautiful ballroom and dining hall, an onsen and another basement arcade except this one has a bar attached and a canned food bar selling canned horse and whale (safe to say I gave that one a miss).

It is right on the cliff so you can swim in the ocean (or there is an indoor pool) and you are also within walking distance to the beach and the Atami Sex Museum, an experience you cannot miss but I will save you from some of the photos in case I get banned.

For a change in pace, Yorua in Kurashiki was a beautiful stay. If you want to enjoy traditional Japanese food and have a slower holiday this was perfect. Buuuuuut, I wouldn’t say that Kurashiki is a must-see and I got a little bored.

Lastly, if you have been to Tokyo before you know how hard it is to find good accommodation that is larger than a closet. It’s a bit of a snore recommendation but The Westin Tokyo was really reasonably priced and highly recommend for an easy business hotel rec. Rooms are huge, there is a gym and its super close walking distance to Nakameguro etc. Also only a 5 minute walk from my favourite weekend brunch place, Locale.

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1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 and 15.

LOVE YOU

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Trying to make this a weekly thing for you, here are some more vintage picks so I don’t drain my bank account and buy them all.

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I would get a cashmere crewneck from Uniqlo in every neutral colour (but if you can only choose one, choose black) and maybe a red for a pop of colour. I would also add in a v neck cashmere so you can play around with t-shirt and shirt layering.

If we go full Uniqlo, I would also add a merino polo knit and a Uniqlo C barrel pant in black. Don’t get the barrel pant if you are prone to cat or dog hair. *Don’t forget to add socks into your order I love a Uniqlo sock.

COS has many a good pant at the moment, my top pick would be the red silk tulip pants.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

Mango has some things you probably definitely don’t need but I’ll include them anyway:

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9

H&M’s website won’t work, Zara is giving me nothing and so I’m gonna love and leave you with some Massimo Dutti goodies:

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, and 14

Summer House reunion needs to be watched but more ideas coming very soon X

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So here are some vintage things I think are cool that you might also enjoy starting with a satin tailored jacket:

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I just posted this on instagram so lets break down every look:

1. Acne cap, sample t-shirt, Monphell shorts, socks from a random store and shoes second hand.

2. Korean brand cap I can’t remember the name of (sorry!!), Skims crewneck, Monphell suit.

3. Frankie Shop hat, old H&M suit.

4. Bond-eye swim dress, Cos bag.

1. Bondi Born dress

2. Neuw Denim tank, Venroy pants, and Monday Swimwear hat.

3. Camilla & Marc top (can’t find it online anymore), Oroton shorts, old St Agni boots.

4. Awesome needs beanie, vintage Toga coat and Monphell pants.

1. Monphell hat, Coach suit and Deiji Studios shirt.

2. Viktoria and Woods top and pants with Noah the Label belt.

3. On Parks shirt, Monphell hat and old Monphell shorts and H&M heels.

4. Source Unknown shirt, old Monphell pants and Coach sneakers.

1. H&M coat (can’t find online), St Agni leather pants and Stuart Weitzman pumps.

2. Vrg Grl top (can’t find online), Paris Georgia capri’s (can’t find online), St Agni heels.

3. Ganni Blazer (no longer online), By Malene Birger pants and Nelson Made heels.

4. Camilla & Marc dress (no longer online) and Massimo Dutti boots.

And last but not least the sunglasses that are permanently glued to my head are the Blue Elephant Alexis sunglasses.

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So now after arriving back to Melbourne, I have dermatitis, pale as fuck, snotty nose and what the internet says is “high cortisol/sugar face”. But thats ok because the year of the horse officially does not begin until February 17.

Wanna know my ins and outs anyway?

INS

• Having a signature style (e.g. people say “that looks like a Paris outfit”)

• Growing your hair long and unruly

• Oversized everything

• Chic at home clothes

• Japanese slippers at the door for when guests visit your home

• Extremely white teeth

• Cooking at home on nice plates

• Matching lingerie sets

• All black activewear only

• Nails and toes always done

• Having hand cream in every room

• Knowing how to garden

• Knowing how to drive

• Laser hair removal (late to the party)

• Having a lengthy nighttime and morning routine

• Waking up early (I can’t stand people who sleep in)

• Reading books that aren’t dragon soft porn

• Texting people back (this one is hard for me)

• Hanging out with your mum

• Smelling nice all the time

• Nice pyjamas

• Saying hi to people when you pass them on the street

• Having savings

• House parties

• Pubs

• Cats (always)

• Saying I love you

• Being relaxed

• Botox

• Cigarettes (always)

• Going on holiday

• Fresh flowers

• Always having an emergency wine at home

OUTS

• Tight asses

• Not going to the gym

• Motivational podcasts

• Staying out past 2am

• People who never plan activities

• Lying in bed

• Ikea

• Uber eats

• Not having hobbies

• Voice memos

• Trauma dumping (don’t ruin my night out)

• Internet talk

• Getting embarrassed

• Complaining

• Drinking bad wine

• Bad hosts

• Big tits (waiting to cut mine off)

• Saying a perfume makes you feel powerful for a brand deal (maybe this is niche)

• Not being funny

• Chat gpt

• Using microphones for your videos when you really don’t need one

• Tight leggings and gym shorts

• Being a try hard

• Not trying at all

• Being on your phone at dinner

As for the way I want to spend my year, I always just want to have fun.

We might be flying jetstar ladies, but if we nail this outfit it could very well be our private jet(star).

PANTS

I have been loving the brand Insis at the moment for staples and here are three good pant options from them.

Merino Wool Drawstring Pants, Balloon Wool Pants, and Curved Knit Joggers.

I obviously couldn’t go past a mention of Monphell’s latest drop and the new draw string pants.

And a few extras:

1. Venroy

2. Helsa

3. Acne

4. Bassike

5. Frankies Bikinis

MATCHING SETS

This JCPAJARES tracksuit for the tomboys, this Eterne set for my clean girls or a Frankie Shop wool set for a winter getaway.

TOPS

1. SIR

2. St Agni tank

3. Massimo Dutti

4. Venroy

5. Uniqlo

6. Insis

7. COS

8. Monphell

9. St Agni tee

BAGS

1. Vestirsi

2. Lee Matthews

3. Monphell

4. COS

5. Massimo Dutti

6. A-Esque

I had to do a few vintage options like this Cartier handbag (the most perfect shape), Bottega Veneta leopard bag I desperately want, Balenciaga weekender bag, another Bottega Veneta in navy for good measure and lastly, an Etro tote for something different.

SHOES

I’m making a separate post dedicated to shoes and bags in general because I feel very passionately about them, but I couldn’t leave you hanging without a few slipper options. I wear slippers 24/7 and wearing a real shoe on a long haul flight feels wrong. I don’t go anywhere without my Our Legacy slippers but if you don’t care about the brand name, here is a good enough Zara dupe. These Mango cashmere slippers are bordering on socks but I’d still wear them. For a chic winter escape you could go the Me+Em espresso fur slippers or the Anonymous Copenhagen shearlings. And if you need a pop of colour I’ve been recommending these Ancient Greek Sandals for years.

Now take a valium, download some Real Housewives and enjoy the flight X

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I thought what better way to start my introduction into substack than to give you recommendations on the thing I am least passionate about.. dresses. For some reason whenever I need to find a black tie dress to wear I seem to drag my feet and avoid it until the last moment. Maybe it’s because 99% of dresses require you to have tiny little perfectly sat tits (a girl can dream) and a beautiful toned, tanned back (I tattooed the comedy and tragedy masks on my back and I probably could’ve gone without those).

The concept of finding my own wedding dress makes me feel a little nauseous not to mention publicly letting people know I actually like Toby. So for now I’ll stick to being a guest. This is what I would wear if my afterpay wasn’t maxed out.

1. Greta Constantine

2. Selezza London

3. Bottega Veneta

4. Simon Miller

5. Taller Marmo

6. Leah Almes

7. Dries Van Noten

8. Khaite

Throwing in a $13k Bottega dress was just mean so here are a few more affordable options:

1. Pat Bo

2. Simon Miller

3. Roame

4. Reformation

5. One of Others

6. Adolfo Dominguez

7. Bondi Born

8. Sir

And if you want to have a fail-safe outfit with no post event outfit regrets then here is a few black (some navy might have slipped in as well) options:

1. Arakii

2. Weiraen

3. Bianca Spender

4. Albus Lumen

5. Beare Park

6. Entire Studios

7. Camilla & Marc

8. Courtney Zheng

Some may argue the shoes and bag are more important than the dress so stay tuned.

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(This was fun).

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