I write simple practical stories to show people how to eat and live a healthy lifestyle. Often, eating well is out of control for many people, especially Black girls …

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Grief Is A Guest

Treat her with respect and honor.

When a time comes, let her leave.

As humans, we grief for many things in life.

Grief is different for Apple, and different for Alice.

Grief is not the same for everyone.

Take your time and seek help as needed.

People may grief:

1. Health.

2. Career.

3. Friendship.

4. Gay children.

5. Trans children.

6. Closeted spouse.

7. Parents.

8. A child.

9. Good old days.

10. Siblings.

11. Add Yours.

The list goes on. Join the conversation and share your grief.

Grief is part of being humans and living in the world. She needs a conversation as we talk about other pain.

Grief makes life worth living again.

Dreams happen when people close their eyes while praying or sleeping.

I rarely have a dream and when I do, it makes me weak.

Therefore, I don’t like dreaming and refuse to befriend her.

Why?

I like to keep my eyes open to see things and people how they are, not how I want them to be.

The dreamers and doers are best friends and both work together for their individual best interest.

Doing things gives humans power, freedom, and pride.

Dreaming gives direction and hope to take action.

The choice is ours, we can do something or dream about it!.

Enjoy your day.

Image to BY.

Create what you want with what you have in front of you

or around you.

My life tells stories.

Where do I start,

Being alive today,

Walking with my two feet,

Typing with most of my fingers,

Reading with my four eyes,

Last, sharing my thought with you.

Create your own lifestyle

Alice, a woman who had recently ended a long-term relationship, went to a restaurant for a family lunch. Surprisingly, she saw her best friend, whom she had confided in about her breakup, having lunch with her former boyfriend.

Put yourself in Alice's shoes. What would you do in such a situation?

We all have been disappointed and betrayed at one time or another in our lives. It’s also noted that betrayal and disappointment can negatively affect our mental health, finances, career, and relationships.

When betrayal happens, many people lose sleep, sense of self, trust, and other aspects of well-being. Sometimes, people withdraw and have less confidence in themselves and others.

What can we do?

Remember, it's not about the fall but how you rise. Moving on from betrayal is easier said than done, but many people have managed to bounce back and return to their everyday lives. They continue to work, self-reflect, and learn life lessons.

One practical tip:

Self-reflection. Self-reflection works when we use it effectively in times of trouble or celebration.

Disappointment or betrayal can force many people to self-destruct or self-reflect. We know ourselves better than others, including our spouses, best friends, parents, and children.

Therefore, we must be honest with ourselves, investigate our lives, and examine them one day at a time.

Let’s see.

Have you ever betrayed someone or disappointed someone? No matter what it was—mild, moderate, or severe. Think about that.

 Let's have our peace, self-reflect, and focus on the lessons from the experience of disappointment and betrayal from others.

My mom is gorgeous, and I have seen her give people gifts without stopping. It pays enormous dividends in her old age. She receives visitation almost every weekend from neighbors, relatives, friends, and strangers.

Valentine's Day is here, and many people struggle with what to give or receive. Did you get your perfect gift or make a reservation for a special dinner? 

My friend, Sunni, doesn't have a date this Valentine's Day. She lost her partner a year ago, and her daughter lives five hours away from her.

What about you? Are you living alone and have no close relatives to celebarte lovers' Day?

Loneliness is real during holiday time for many people in the US. It's more prevalent among senior citizens, disabled, and older immigrant populations. 

Sunni is not alone.

My conversation with her last Sunday made us discuss what to do and not to do to decrease loneliness. She brought up the topics of obligation and reciprocity in gift-giving. 

Can commitment and reciprocity in our relationship help us avoid loneliness? 

Sunni reminded me, "Your daughter lives nearby, and Art is in the house. You don't understand my mindset." She vented her feelings and wished to be like others. 

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Never compare your inside with others’ outside. Even Ranna who brought down the house during half-time Super bowl have problem too.

Sunni is alone. We all feel or experience loneliness as we age and our role in life changes or improves.

Without self-awareness during holiday times, people can do more harm to themselves than good. Yes, holiday time can be a lonely time for many people.

The fear of loneliness can make some people go into a bad relationship, give people all their hard-earned money, or waste their time and energy trying to fix toxic friends or relatives. Be wise.

The good news is that during this time, people can learn more about themselves and relearn their habits and family values as they live longer and longer. 

Also, the habit of buying friendships because of loneliness can be unlearned by being honest with oneself about how we lived before 2023.

For many years, I've reminded myself that I cannot force people to be with me, but I can have an open mind and make more effort to be with healthy people and groups.

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What you need to know

Do you continue to help ungrateful people because you need their time? Yes or No!

1. But first, focus on yourself and your needs and create a way to make positive connections. 

2. Second, help people who need help, assist the ungrateful individuals who need help, and join social groups. 

3. Be careful buying expensive gifts for people because you want their friendship or an intimate relationship. It rarely works.

4. Never put on a show as a crisis manager to recuse every Tom and Tina, or you'll become bitter and resentful when they ignore you.

5. Work on yourself. Our sense of self matters more when we experience loneliness.

Remember.

Loneliness is real; you can manage it if you plan and be honest with yourself.

Join an online community, volunteer, travel, and take a new career or dating partner.

Help yourself grow.

Happy Valentine's Day. 

Trust is something that takes time to build. Building trust depends on how we learn it from our caregivers, friends, family, and community. As adults, you can build trust with what you do or not do to yourself and others.

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Three practical ways to build trust

1. Be honest with yourself. Do people trust themselves? It starts with us. Do you trust yourself to go for a walk every other day? Do people trust themselves to do something productive? If you don’t. Forgive yourself and start building trust with yourself.

2. When people build trust with themselves, they start building trust with others. Learn to trust your friend's feelings without asking them to explain often unless you are a doctor. Accept compliments from others without thinking twice or trying to explain them away. Do what you say and work hard and smart to keep your promise.

3. Do good to people who can’t return the favor. Daily or weekly, find something small to do for yourself and others. Cook a meal for a spouse or give a dollar to a beggar without an explanation.

Every thousand steps start with the first step. Let’s practice trusting ourselves with what we do and not do to ourselves.

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Do these five simple daily to lose 5-7 pounds in two weeks.

1. Drink warm water in the morning and work on something exciting and productive.

2. Eat a high-protein lunch at 11 am or 12 noon and drink water as a snack.

3. Walk at least 2-3 miles every day for two weeks. Or do any exercise of your choice for about 20 minutes before bed.

4. Eat a healthy dinner, snack before 6 pm, and drink water until bedtime.

5. Mind your own business. Stay away from negative people, things, and places. This helps us stay away from bad food. Bad feelings drive some people to eat more junk food.

Are you passive in your own life? Do you always throw your hands up for people and things to run your life?

• Reactivate your strengths and write them down on a piece of paper.

• Keep doing what worked for you before and nurture positive relationships.

• Stop begging and explaining—show, don’t tell.

• Pay attention to your words and pattern of behavior.

• Focus on your goals and less on the problems.

• Keep believing, working, asking, and hoping.

• Be active in your life.

Pay attention to what you have and focus less on what you don’t have.

Our life for 2022 is solely on us.

You have the power to work during a difficult time and enjoy it during harvest season.

Keep working, believing, hoping, and asking—Happy New Year to you.

Many people will make merry with their loved ones, and others may not have a bed to sleep on or a family to go to for a holiday.

However, many of us are alive to witness another holiday. Be grateful.

Pay attention and find anything good in your life or where you are now—a beautiful home, a homeless shelter, or under the bridge. Look at the sky and be thankful for your life anywhere you are.

Be a believer in your amazing life or not-too-good situation.

Make merry with your thoughts and imagination. Enjoy yourself, family, friends, strangers, and food.

• What is your long-held holiday tradition?

• Why do we have more stress during the holiday season?

• How do you decrease or increase your stress levels?

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1. Negative people pleasing = High stress:

Never-ending people-pleasing always doubles our stress levels and can make us sick. Be honest with yourself and the people you want to please.

For example, you buy holiday gifts you can’t afford. Host people, you don’t like or want in your house or celebrate a long-held tradition you have outgrown.

How to let it go:

Take a moment and think of your happiness and why you matter. Then do what gives you peace first before others.

2. Things and people define us=Moderate stress:

What defines your identity? We increase our stress level when material things and people determine who we are. Do you believe what people say about you? Is what they are saying true or false? I think people and things can define me if I let them in my life—no or weak personal boundaries. People with negative words or lies shouldn’t party with you. Let them go.

How to let it go:

The choice is yours; let negative things and people go. We can love these people from a distance and wish them well. Learn more about who you are and what you need for yourself and your loved ones.

3. Informed choices= Normal stress:

Take your holiday list and decide what to cross out or keep. We can say yes or no to ourselves, people, and things.

Think for yourself and make informed decisions based on your values. When people make choices or solve life problems on their own terms. They tend to have less stress and peace of mind.

How to let go:

You have the power to live a less stressful life. Do your own thing and live your amazing life.

This is the week of the Thanksgiving celebration. The week we celebrate the harvest and all the goodness we enjoyed for the past months. Farmers know the importance of harvest season because they see the fruits of their labor.

Now, you may not have anything to be thankful for, or you can’t see any progress in your life. However, you are here.

I get it.

1. Gives us hope: Being grateful for being alive can give you hope to keep believing in yourself and working on your dream.

2. Helps you stay healthy: Thankful people are healthy people. Sometimes, ungrateful people tend to be bitter people. Life is good if you let her.

3. Provides more help: People like to help grateful people. For example, you gave five of your friends a Christmas gift. Only one of them called and thanked you for the assistance. Who among your five friends would you likely provide lovely gifts next time? Too often, grateful people are happy and pleasant people to be around.

Go out today and be grateful. Be grateful for yourself, what you have, and what you’re working on and hope for in the future.

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Sometimes, we fear failure and choose not to try things that take much of our time, energy, and money.

Failure is part of learning and a part of life.

Now, learn by doing things you have been reading or thinking about for months or years.

1. Free choice: Choose to learn by observing and putting one positive thought into practice.

2. Welcome mistakes and use some of them to help you live better—practice correcting the error or ask for help.

3. How do you see yourself? What are your specific small and big goals? We need to be careful what we do to ourselves and our goals. Learn and do something for yourself well most of the time. Do your small goals and make progress in your big goals. Practice every day trusting and loving yourself.

Practice is a progress. Do what you have been thinking and reading for months or years. Do your small goals and make progress in your big ones.

Finding positive things can be difficult, but having a hard life is hell. You have to decide which one you want— dwell on negativity all hours of your life or learn how to find something good in yourself.

Then what can we do? 3 Easy ways to find enough good to keep you going.

1. Look for good things in you.

2. Look for the good in people you like and in people you dislike

   or hate.

3. Look for positive things in your family, relationship, community, and society.

These three things can help us see many good things we’ve not paid attention to for years.

You can start now. Practice makes progress.

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Now, how do you treat a cut on your middle finger? What do you do with an accident wound on your right knee? Do you pick the injury open every night, or do you apply the cream for it to heal?

Let’s work on our treatment and healing.

1. Our pain or hurt is a wound. We are responsible for healing our pain and finding happiness and freedom.

2. The rapist, no-show-parent, entitled child, cheater, ex-spouse, or lousy boss cannot heal your wound.

3. Again, it is our wound. We have the right to forgive or not to forgive ourselves and others. Yet, you can practice forgiveness when you are ready.

4. Your life is beautiful without never-ending resentment and bitterness. Choose your life, not the people who did you wrong or the secret crime you committed decades ago.

5. Your life matters. Your freedom and happiness matter. Forgive yourself first.

Love is simple and easy to recognize if you focus on your actions more than your words.

Love is a verb. Love is an action word, and it’s a free will. Dependency survives through more intense actions without freedom or choices for oneself or others.

• Be your own person. Do something with your life and work hard to improve yourself.

• Find ways to value yourself, the things you have, and those who care for you.

• Don’t take yourself for granted or people who appreciate you.

• Look for freedom and choices.

• Own your well-being—- your actions, feelings, and thoughts matter.

• Dependency is addictive—doing everything and anything to keep the toxic relationship.

• Dependency is the action of fear and control—that damages your well-being.

Love is action. Dependency is action. Be wise and make a choice. As always, two are not the same. Be smart and take action.

We all have problems or struggles one way or the other. Each morning is a new day for a miracle in your life. Do you look for a second chance to work on something or help yourself grow?

• Believe in second or third chances.

• Start over. Do your hobby or dream again.

• Live your life your own way— be yourself.

• Enjoy the gift of life.

• Be hopeful and trust yourself.

Being alive each morning is a miracle; expect your gift every day.

Hearing ourselves is a vital way to know and understand our wants, needs, and dreams.

Why?

No other person knows or understands your hope and aspirations. Your family or friends may guess, but they don’t hear your dreams. You alone know your true self and dream.

How?

• Practice meditation or prayer or walk a few times per week.

• Question what you know.

• Move or visit new places. For example, take a unique road from work once a week.

• Observe nature.

• Decrease noise from people and things.

Hearing ourselves help us hold onto our power, gives us directions to accomplish our life goals, and provides solutions to some of our issues.

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