Blessed with the memory of how to make (and follow through with) plans without a group chat and the ability to rotate a PDF, we scrolled past—or god forbid participated in?!—flash mob proposals and clubbed to Aviici in our kitten heels.

all adventurous women… listen to audiobooks?

It’s my first summer off since 2019. I’m finally doing all the things school-year me can’t find the f*cks to do, which includes actually using my Spotify Premium subscription to get into audiobooks. Naturally, I’m listening to Famesick: A Memoir by Lena Dunham. Nostalgia doesn’t even begin to describe the experience of Lena—aka Girls writer, main character, show-runner, director, Millennial girl queen—narrating her 20s. Our 20s.

I listen fervently: while I walking Bodie, doing my hair, sitting in traffic, folding laundry. But when she gets to the episode “All Adventurous Women Do,” the one that ends with Marnie and Hannah’s spontaneous bedroom dance party, my ADHD brain demands I drop the unfolded laundry, click out of the book, and immediately put on Robyn’s “Dancing On My Own.”

the time machine

Just a few bars of the album Body Talk, and I’m transported back to 2012. Our Girls era, as my close friend and 2010s roommate—the Marnie to my Hannah—refer to it. It was an exciting time when we were hired for our first “real” jobs out of uni, but were still low enough on the ladder to not care too much about the consequences of going out-out on a Tuesday or taking a sneaky mental health day to get McFlurries and watch our shows on the free pink velour sofas we still talk about today. We were getting our hearts broken, putting them back together, making burlap-and-lace Pinterest wedding boards, and dramatically declaring we’d be single for life.

the anthem

Every song on this album is a banger, imo, but “Call Your Girlfriend” is the one that stops me in my tracks.“Call your girlfriend, it’s time you had the talk / Give your reasons, say it’s not her fault / But you just met somebody new…”

It perfectly captures the classic early-twenties angst of the situationship (though back then we just called them hook-ups or FWB. Ew.) You know the one. Maybe it was a long-term friend you never saw that way (omg no we’re more like siblings), until you did.

Or the on-again/off-again guy that you pretended to feel really casual about until he acted a little jealous about a tagged photo, which you obviously took to mean he wanted you all to himself. Or the whirlwind bar romance where the sparks flew—until your friend group confirmed there was already someone else, the “crazy girlfriend” that everyone thinks is toxic anyways.

With utter abandon, Robyn coached our unrequited love through what we were certain was an imminent breakup. “Don’t you tell her how I give you something that you never even knew you missed / Don’t you even try to explain / How it’s so different when we kiss…”

We just needed these silly boys to make the right choice once and for all: Pick ME!

the shift

But oops. That’s exactly why this song hits completely different now. In an era of “girls’ girls,” the term pick-me, and if he wanted to he would, pop culture has handed us a much-needed lens to look critically at our younger selves’ antics. In the 2010s this was a romantic anthem for the girl best friend wearing the t-shirt sitting in the bleachers pining for the guy with the girl in the short skirt.

Today? We can see the messy, internalized mysogyny of cheering for another girl’s heartbreak just so we could get the guy.

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the millennial defense

This specific brand of self-deprecating nostalgia is so Millennial in and of itself, too. We’re old enough to lovingly judge our past behaviour, yet thanks to streaming apps and immutable Facebook photo albums we’re still regularly confronted with their cringe.

We Millennials like to believe we are special special snowflakes and I would like to argue that we are.

Blessed with the memory of how to make (and follow through with) plans without a group chat and the ability to rotate a PDF, we scrolled past—or god forbid participated in?!—flash mob proposals and clubbed to Aviici in our kitten heels. We survived it all, and have now-privated albums titled random nights out to show for it.

I’m curious, does every generation have a pick-me anthem? What track from a past life gives you the most nostalgia cringe when you listen?

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Hello, friends! Welcome back to monthly favourites where I tell you about the stuff I’ve been loving lately.

Writing today on the first of August, I can say that July felt, to me, undeniably…slow. Not entirely in the cozy, healing, slow-living kind of way, though not entirely not that, either?

Being first summer off in years, I wonder if maybe this is exactly how it’s supposed to feel. Just quiet enough to be restful and leave space for random outings and trash television, and just boring enough to allow for a small twinge of excitement about back to school.

Keep reading to see my faves from the month of July. You can also shop the whole list by clicking right here.

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1 // Reading every day. I finished and loved both Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke and Famesick by Lena Dunham. I’d highly recommend listening to Famesick as an audiobook as it is edited by Lena herself.

2 // Invisible sunscreen. I’m using tretinoin daily these days (and keeping my skin barrier intact!) which means sun protection is essential no matter what. The cashier at Trader Joe’s let me know that their body sunscreen is actually the exact same product as the one packaged for the face, but is slightly better value at $12.99 USD for 5 fl oz. If you can’t make it to TJ’s I’d recommend this dupe by e.l.f. or the OG from SuperGoop.

3 // My summer uniform. Without knowing exactly what each day will bring, I have been dressing by default in cotton shorts or thrifted cut-offs, a tank top or t-shirt, and throwing on a summer-y button down shirt over top. My favourites are either linen like this one, or the light muslin-y cotton available sometimes at Gap, but also known as AirPlush Cotton at Aritzia.

4 // Summer fragrance. I have a collection of perfumes and hair and body mists that are the most fun to use in the warmer months. I’m loving the sunscreen-ish notes of coconut in The Nest Balinese Coconut perfume oil as well as Ouai’s St. Bart’s. Neroli is also having a moment in my collection in the form of Cyklar Naked Neroli lotion and Glossier’s Orange Blossom and Neroli body spritz. And, although it’s an all-year product for me, I’ve been reaching for The Crown Affair’s Signature Scent hair mist often as well because it’s just fresh and light enough for the hottest days.

5 // Necessaire Olibanum. I initially included this in the list above, but she deserved her own place here because I am obsessed. Rarely do I say that about a new fragrance because I’m prone to fragrance-induced headaches and am actually just kind of picky. Described as a comforting, warm, sweet scent with notes of Olibanum (til that means frankincense!), Vanille, Fig Leaf, and Cassis Buds, I find it gorgeous on its own for more minimal days, or a perfect base for any other fragrance layers. I treated myself to this little set and will definitely re-up the body lotion and deodorant when they run out.

6 // Minimal non-orange makeup. I mentioned previously it took me a long time to realize I have a cool olive skin tone which explains, apparently, the way so many products pull orange on me. This blush and this bronzer (actually a contour) are still in my daily routine and I seemingly can’t stop talking about them (sorry).

7 // Morning beach walks. If you follow me on Instagram you will be treated to daily stories of my golden retriever Bodie and I walking on our local beach. This is by far the highlight of my summer mornings. While I catch up on podcasts and birdwatch (and people watch!) Bodie digs holes, gallops up and down the shoreline and gets increasingly more comfortable in the water. While spring and earlier summer walks necessitated my waterproof sneakers, lately the drier mornings just call for my favourite flip flops.

8 // Staying organized. Specifically, I’ve been making an effort to post more consistently and keep track of my ideas for Substack and social media. I’m using my Hobonichi Weeks for this, and it’s going well! I’d love to do a longer post about my Hobonichi planners because they seem to be having a moment online and I’ve been using them for almost 9 years now. Is this something you’d be interested in? Let me know.

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And, that sums up July! Take a look at everything all in one place here.

Have you tried any of the things I’ve recommended? Do you have your own list of favourites? If so, leave me a link, I love nothing more than a nosy peek at someone else’s stuff!

summertime, cozy.

dinner on the living room floor, overhead fan on high, love island in the background.

girl dinner. balcony dinner. rooftop dinner with friends old and new.

fairy lights. fireworks. oysters.

tan lines, laugh lines, wrinkled linen.

freckles, sangria-speckled pages of the book you’ll forget as soon as it’s read.

sun-warmed vanilla skin. cold champagne over peach puree. brown sugar coffee, a crispy Coke.

frayed denim, unbuttoned cotton. windows open all night. the city humming you to sleep.

P.S. Click here to shop a few things inspired by the summertime, cozy moodboard

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My husband recently went to New York on a work trip. While I could have tagged along and spent my days exploring Cornell in Ithaca and literally any- and everything in NYC, the timing wasn’t quite right with the end of the school year, and I had to sit this one out. My husband, mensch that he is, offered to dedicate a few hours of his leisure time to go shopping for me, so long as I provided him with a detailed and hyperlinked list and was readily available for a FaceTime call.

I can’t lie, the joy I experienced hyper-fixating on composing this shopping list is second only to having actually gone on the trip with him. Because I wasn’t shopping in person this time, and because returns/exchanges wouldn’t be an option, I limited my list to beauty products.

What follows is my breakdown of what I would recommend shopping for as a Canadian on a cross-border** shopping trip. Links are via ShopMy which means I earn a small commission if you click and buy.

**And, yes, I know we’re not all into cross-border shopping these days for various reasons. I have (long-winded, boring) opinions about this that I won’t unpack here. But for now, I will say: there are exceptions to every rule and the m.ph by Mary Phillips lip ciggy is one of them.

A few cross-border shopping tips:

As a Canadian who lives in Vancouver, a mere 30 minutes from the US border, cross-border shopping is a familiar past-time. If this isn’t something you do often, here are a few reminders:

• For a day trip (easy for us who can drive across the border), the amount you can bring back to Canada duty-free is lower. I’ve never paid duty myself, even when submitting receipts that surpass the minimum, but I’ve heard the border agents are more strict about this these days, so do your research.

• Luckily, for multi-day and air travel trips, the duty-free amount is much higher, though obviously (tragically) suitcase space and weight is never infinite.

• Keep an eye on the exchange rate as it is rarely super favourable to the Canadian dollar. For this reason, I focus on things that can not be purchased at home (more affordably) in CAD.

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What to Buy Where: Beauty Products

Trader Joe’s

Anyone who drives down to Bellingham from Vancouver knows this is a favourite Canadian haunt. As we don’t have this franchise here in Canada, it is truly a grocery shopper’s smorgasbord. Literally everything there is unavailable at home. While primarily a grocery store, TJs also has a collection of affordable skincare and bodycare products that have gone viral online in recent years.

On My List:

Invisible Sunscreen

Brazil Nut Body Butter

Vanilla Lip Sleeping Mask

Marula Facial Oil

Did not purchase, but would try: TJs hand cream and body sunscreen too.

Skip: facial serums and hair masks which I feel could be found here just as easily at Shoppers Drug Mart, Winners, or Walmart

Target

Not quite as impossible to dupe as Trader Joe’s, Target is still another covetable shopping experience for Canadians. Target’s brief stint in Canada (are you old enough to remember this???) showed us that it isn’t so much the shopping experience itself that is unique about Target—it’s basically just another discount department store like Walmart/Joe Fresh/Superstore—but more-so about the can’t-get-them-in-Canada brands and low price tags.

Now, that being said, many of the things available at Target are already in Canadian stores (although new product lines are usually released in the US first), so my own shopping list includes brands that are either very challenging to get or entirely unavailable here at home.

On My List:

Saltair

Due to a miscommunication, I sadly did not get any Saltair this trip, but I’m itching to stock up next time. Specifically, I’m obsessed with the Santal Bloom fragrance line, described as including notes of “creamy sandalwood, sheer amber, and sensual musks.” I love the following:

Body Wash

Body Butter

Hair Oil

Body Spray

Athena Club

This is a brand that we can get at home in Canada, but in my experience, there are fragrance lines that come out in the US first. I’ve used the Golden Vanilla body wash and Salted Sunset shower oil (found at Walmart Canada), and love them, so I’m intrigued by their range of other fragrances that can be found at Target.

This time, I grabbed a mini Love Letter body lotion, which was the best blind buy ever, described as smelling like “velvety iris, pink pepper, and cream woods.” It feels like the perfect layering lotion to go with Glossier You.

Next time I get the chance, I’d like to try the Amber Hours fragrance line which includes notes of “creamy gardenia, vanilla, and amber.”

Did not purchase, but would try:

Sunscreen and Retinol

Regulation and labelling laws mean the US has a wider range of sunscreen and retinol products than Canada. I’m not an expert, but I stan Charlotte Palermino, founder of Dieux skincare and the cult favourite Instant Angel moisturizer.

You may find wider ranges and products that haven’t been released in Canada yet like the e.l.f. hair care line and newer/more range in bodycare brands such as Naturium, Byoma, or Tree Hut (which are available at Shoppers Drug Mart, Sephora, and sometimes Winners).

Also, curious to try Fine’ry or Dossier dupe fragrances, and the Prequel skincare line.

Skip: La Roche Posay and EOS as they’re available in Canada in stores like Shoppers, Walmart, and even Winners. I also don’t mind missing trending or limited release fragrances that I can’t give the “headache test” (ie. wear it all day without coming down with a raging headache.)

Ulta

A few years ago, Ulta would have been a lot more novel to we Canadians. But, in recent years, many of the products we love from Ulta have popped up at Shoppers Drug Mart, Walmart, and Sephora Canada. There are still a few things that I’d recommend though, and a long list of brands that are Ulta exclusives though I can’t speak to all of them.

On My List:

The only thing I came away from Ulta with this time is NOYZ Unmute - I got the solid version of this fragrance that smells like cassia, plumb, cinnamon, pistachio, vanilla, and amber.

Sadly, I realized too late that Saltair, may be more available here at Ulta than at Target

Did not purchase, but would try: Cecred, SNIF, dibs, and exclusive fragrances like Xo by Khloe Kardashian (recommended by Paige)

Skip: Polite Society - I once grabbed a lip gloss, and it was just meh; as well, the Ulta Beauty Collection might have a few cult faves but feels pretty comparable to the Sephora Collection, Quo, and not quite as nice as even L’Oreal, imo.

Sephora

Finallly, I had my loving husbo take a detour to Sephora. Again, many things are available at home in Canada, but a few are not. We focused on these.

On My List:

CYKLAR Vanilla Verve body oil, Naked Neroli body lotion, and Sacred Santal hand cream (all dreamy).

Hanni splash salve in-shower body balm

m.ph by Mary Phillips lip ciggy in First Base

Did not purchase but would try: Fara Homidi, Ciele, and other m.ph products that require in-person shopping like the underpainting palette.

Skip: Eadem because it’s on Canadian Amazon now), Dieux which is now available in Canada, and most Rhode products for the same reason.

annnnd that’s a wrap, friends! At least, for now. At some point this summer, I wouldn’t mind heading to Bellingham one more time. If I do, I’ll report back. In the meantime, shop my entire USA Cross-Border wishlist here.

By the way, what did I miss??? Tell me your faves or ask away for recommendations!

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So, June happened… I think? It was a blur as it always is for most teachers, students, and parents. Spring ended, summer began. We busted out our a/c units here in Vancouver, then promptly let them start collecting dust again as the June-uary clouds rolled in. Our beloved teens crossed the stage 🎓 and we learned that golden retrievers consider sand a food group (or was that just Bodie?)

For me, the month was memorable because of long beach walks, spontaneous girls nights watching our shows, and the surprising relief that came with learning I wouldn’t be teaching summer school this year. For the first time in a long time, I just get to… relax?!?!

I’ve collected and linked my favourites from the last month. If anything catches your eye, I’ve gathered it all in one place here.*

*Links are affiliates via ShopMy which means I may earn a small commission if you buy. Thanks for supporting my corner of the internet 🤍

1 // Linen pants. Comfy linen pants make work ‘fits feel like jammies. Mine are thrifted but these are similar.

2 // Gigantic sunglasses. Oversized sunnies for life. (PSA: one girl’s trend is another’s timeless.) Mine are Karen Walker but I also own these dupes due to ADHD/being irresponsible with my belongings.

3 // Skin scents that I can actually smell. Soft Spot by Phlur showing me that it’s okay to fall in love again, especially when layered with this body oil. (Though the OG Glossier You is still my day one).

4 // Audiobooks. Strangers by Belle Burden was my first successful audiobook. Browse my whole bookshelf here.

5 // Dog-walking sneakers. Salomon XT-6 Gore-Tex sneakers (and thus dry feet) make early morning wet field dog walks 110x more enjoyable. I swear to you my feet stay drier in these than in my Ganni rain boots.

6 // Versatile teacher outfits. The Aritzia Fluid Poplin dress made her debut as an outfit to my students’ graduation and it was perfecttt. (P.S. this outfit and my night was almost ruined by me forgetting to bring a cardigan to change into, but a casual sweater over the shoulders saved the day.)

7 // Sunkissed olive-tone-friendly blush. Tower 28 Finest Hour blush courtesy of Amanda Batula’s worst hour(s) on the Summer House reunion iykyk is my daily wear right now.

And, finally, all my June adventures were soundtracked with a mix of old and new easily-sing-a-long-able pop faves. I collected my most listened to for you here:

Tell me, what are you loving these days? I’m fully off for the first summer since 2019 and I’m taking the time to just enjoy stuff, so let me know.

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Hello! I will spare you the ceremonial blah blah blah* of posting again after a long break from being on here.

Instead, I’ll just tell you why I’m writing: I’m reading again! I set the goal this year to read daily, and at the almost halfway point in the year, I thought I’d tell you about my faves. (I’ve left off a couple novels that I did not finish because where’s the fun in reviewing bad books?)

Here’s what I’ve read and enjoyed:

The Maid & The Mystery Guest by Nita Prose

A cozy mystery series about a seemingly neurodivergent maid working for an eventful hotel. It’s one part mystery, two parts heartwarming and was exactly what I needed to start off my reading year.

My Friends by Fredrik Backman

It’s been years since I’ve read anything by Backman and I forgot how quirky but page-turning his writing is to me. A group of friends with tragic backstories converge upon a modern day story of a teenaged artist. Funny, weird, heartfelt.

Intermezzo by Sally Rooney

It’s been years since I’ve read anything by Rooney too, and this one sat on my tbr for quite some time. It delivered and is now my favourite novel of hers. In typical Rooney fashion, the plot is secondary to the real underlying themes, but the characters are troubled and grieving and floating around in the in-between phases of their live, hence the title.

My Brilliant Friend (Neapolitan Novels #1) by Elena Ferrante

I can’t believe it took me this long to get into this series! But I finally took this title of the shelf and devoured it in three days during spring break. A winding story of friendship and girlhood through the decades. I need someone to tell me if it’s worth it to watch the series?

The Correspondent by Virginia Evans

This book was a quick but memorable read and the English major in me loved the epistolary style, as it is written through a series of letters and emails from the narrator to various individuals in her life.

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Saenz

Cute, but not my favourite of the year. I discussed with a friend at work how this story while adorable does kind of perpetuate the “falling in love with the unattainable” trope that is present in much LGBTQ literature. I would recommend it for a lighthearted read, though.

Cleopatra and Frankenstein by Coco Mellors

It took me a while, but this book finally landed with me when I realized it was about addiction. It isn’t explicitly about addiction, don’t get me wrong. It’s about troubled characters and their troubled relationships, and it’s about New York and marriage and grief and heartache. Oops, starting to notice a theme in my favourite books.

The Wedding People by Alison Espach

I posted when I first started reading this one that the book gets dark really quickly in the first few pages, but I promise it delivers and doesn’t contain anything I found too triggering and ends up being a light but important read about entering into milestone eras of our lives.

Strangers: A Memoir of Marriage by Belle Burden

I finished this just before I sat down to post this. And, it must be spectacular, as it is the very first audiobook I’ve ever been hooked on. (It’s included in Spotify Premium, btw!) Narrated by the author herself, Belle Burden’s memoir pulled me into the tragic story of marriage that has gripped the internet.

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Currently Reading

Finally, I have just started Hamnet. It took me the first 50 pages to feel like I could fall in love with it, so I’m glad I persisted. It’s a love story that takes place during the Black Plague, from what I can tell. And it’s also a film that’s received great reviews so I look forward to seeing what all the hype is about.

So please, tell me what my next audiobook should be. And if you’ve read any of these books. And if so, what your thoughts were!

Find my full 2026 reading list in my Amazon Storefront here.

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*P.s. Hi, remember me???

I took a long break from posting while I survived the most hectic school year of my life and figured out what I actually found fun about being on here. And then I remembered, I really love sharing the things bringing me joy in hectic times and chatting with you all about books and life and other stuff. So here we are. Nice to see you again!

Aritzia Summer Sale vs Warehouse Sale?

Considering if I will shop the basics I have my eye on at the Aritzia Summer Sale, or wait until the infamous Vancouver warehouse sale later this summer. The former guarantees availability and ease of shopping. The latter is so fun and also better discounts… 🤔

Pasty Legs and Self-Tanner Advice Needed

Melasma + a lupus diagnosis means I’m even more careful than usual in the sun these days. But my LEGS ARE SO PALE. Folks, what are we doing? We can’t possibly be baking in the actual sun, but are we getting spray tans? In the year 2025 do we yet know how to do a self-tanner without streaking? (Now that I’ve Googled this, Saltyface is going to be stalking my targeted ads, but do we know if their body tanners really are elite enough to justify the price??)

Summer TBR

What should my summer reading strategy be this year? I just finished a joyfully mindless Emily Giffin novel. So do I continue on a path of fluffy beach reads? Or do I dive into something that might make me Feel Things? Do I want to Feel Things? What are you reading this summer?

Warm Weather Dinners

We aren’t talking about girl dinner as much these days, but my god it’s been a lifesaver as the temperatures have warmed up and cooking feels impossible. What’s your favourite girl dinner combo? Mine is cheese, crackers, meats, olives, more olives, chips, salsa, a few Sour Patch Kids, chips and dip, strawberries and any other fruits in the house. What’s your go-to hot weather dinner?

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In My Sad Girl Era

Random but bear with me… I’ve been wondering, what is a normal amount to think about mortality? Several times a day/at all times? Should I be worried? Or are we all constantly on that Wednesday Addams grind these days thanks to world events and our subsequent mental health? And on that note, is there a way to keep all the lovely golden retriever videos in my TikTok and Reels fyp without ever having to see the sad ones? iykyk 😭 😭 😭

Bravo, Bravo, Bravo

So like, who is going to be the new cast of Vanderpump Rules??? Do we know yet? When do we get to start looking forward to this? And will anything ever compare dramatically to Scandoval? Skeptical…

Work/Life Balance Dreams

Finally, as I’ve been exercising some work-life balance between summer school teaching and my, ya know, life… I remembered (and lol-ed) when I once thought that a bonus to becoming a teacher would be that it would “give me time” to write. Every teacher I know would laugh at the idea of this career giving time, but I’m very casually taking back my mornings, evenings, and in-between moments to write a little. On Substack, sure. But also, just for me.

Anyway. That’s the current tab situation in my brain. Consider this a conversation starter — pick a question, tell me your take, or just drop in with what’s swirling around in your head lately. I’ll be here!

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One part list, one part soft protest, it’s my love letter to the blurry in-betweenness of our generation. It’s me thinking out loud about what it means to be the kind of Millennial who still remembers Tumblr and the top 8, who grew up on away messages and still isn’t quite sure how to make a heart with my hands.

Thanks for being here, Millennials, Millennial-adjacents, and anyone feeling a little in between.

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Below are all the outfits I wore this week. Nothing groundbreaking, just easy pieces that made getting dressed one less thing to worry about. If you’re curious, I’ve linked everything I can on my ShopMy.

Monday

Monday’s fit was designed for comfort and being on my feet throughout a jam-packed school day of teaching and running back and forth to meetings. I’m still getting used to styling the skirt. My best friend told me her stylish corporate coworkers are wearing the Lululemon Nulu skirt, but I picked this one up for a fraction of the $$ at Ardene of all places. The t-shirt is from H&M, and is a very close alt of the Aritzia Function interlock cotton tee.

Tuesday

I’ll be honest, Tuesday almost led to a meltdown as I changed my mind about what jeans to wear at the last minute. But, I pulled through with my trusty Levi’s Ribcage straight leg jeans. I truly don’t care what the trends say, I will be a high-waist girly for life. Despite the less comfortable footwear, I did even more walking than on Monday as we took a few of our students on a local college campus tour, but I have to say the Everlane flats always hold up! (Then again, I have invincible Millennial feet toughened up by decades of questionable footwear choices 🤣)

Wednesday

Trusty flats to the rescue again—chosen as much for the ‘fit as they were because they happened to be lying next to the front door where I’d kicked them off the day before. The weather was questionable, a little cloudy in the morning, so I threw my SweatFleece crew around my shoulders as I ran out of the house. Later, when I realized I had a deeply unpleasant meeting to attend, I was glad I’d grabbed an accessory in my favourite power colour.

Thursday

Field trip day today! While our students did a scavenger hunt in a local village, I sat stationed at a coffee shop prepared to give out clues. We then regrouped for a picnic lunch together, hence the sun protection and beachy footwear. Overall a success. Despite what they say about the struggles of being a teacher, days like today remind me it’s not the worst gig in the world by any stretch.

Friday

Lazy is an understatement for this outfit. Burnout hit me like a ton of bricks by the end of the week, and I reached for my “uniform” and my go-to comfiest old faithful pieces. Sunny weather does wonders for a mood, though. The day felt as effortless as the outfit and I skipped into the weekend with a sneaky after school thrift trip.

Let me know which outfit you liked best (or which one you’d actually wear), and if you have your own version of the lazy-girl formula, I’d love to hear it. You can also shop all my lazy girl favourites here via my ShopMy.

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You might be tired in your own way. Are you a teacher? A student? A parent or caregiver? A human just trying to function in the 2020s?

You have your reasons, I’m sure.

One thing I’ve learned about myself is this: I feel better (read: less unhinged) when I pull together a look that feels right. Even if I’m exhausted, if the outfit works, I feel a little more like myself.

Right now, my three style words are Effortless, Chic, and Polished. They strike the balance I need: simple to style (effortless), with room to play with trends or feminine details (chic), and just structured enough to feel like I’m holding it all together (polished).

Read on to see my end-of-year outfit equation; the one I’m using to get dressed fast, feel like myself, and stay aligned with my personal style.

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✨ The Formula:

Effortless Base + Chic Layers + Polished Details

Let’s break it down.

1. Effortless Base

This is the first thing I reach for, the piece that requires zero mental energy. Soft fabrics, easy silhouettes, and neutral tones that always work together.

It might be:

• A basic black dress or jumpsuit

• My favorite jeans and a white tank

• A maxi skirt and tee combo

• A linen set that feels like pajamas but looks work-y enough

These are the pieces I can grab in a fog and still walk out the door looking like I meant it. They do the emotional labor of making me feel comfortable and present before I’ve even added anything “cute.”

☁️ Style Word: Effortless
→ Think: classic pieces, neutral palette, minimal effort

2. Chic Layers

This is where the outfit becomes a look. The third piece—a blazer, button-down, trench, or sweater—adds shape, movement, and just the right amount of “I tried.”

Some go-tos:

• A light blazer or denim jacket over a tee

• An oversized button-up worn open

• A sweater casually thrown over the shoulders

These layers add texture and personality. They make it feel like an outfit, and as a bonus are easily swapped out with other bases to make whole new looks.

🖤 Style Word: Chic
→ Think: feminine, trendy, French-girl inspired

3. Polished Details

The final touch. Never dressed-up or fussy, just clean and quietly put-together. Even if I’m running late and lint-rolling dog hair off my pants, these pieces make it look *chef’s kiss*.

Usually, it’s one or two of:

• Gold hoops or simple studs

• A quality bag

• Sunglasses with a little flair

• Clean sneakers or a flat that pulls it all together

• A cheeky pairing a la denim on denim

These details ground the outfit and give me that little extra oomph I need to push through emails, marking, and whatever else the day throws at me.

✨ Style Word: Polished
→ Think: refined, simple, intentional

So basically, my point is that a good outfit might not be the most important thing to think about these days, and it really doesn’t have to be. Putting this formula together let’s me focus on other more pressing things and makes me feel more like myself.

Worth itttt.

Shop everything you see in this post on ShopMy.

Thanks for reading, friend!

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Let’s be honest, summer is the most fun season to shop for, but the one where (at least for me) the need is the most short-lived. Swimsuits—I’m lucky if they see the light of day 10 months out of the year. Shorts? As a high school teacher, these are iffy at best even in the warmest workday weather, really only enjoying their heyday in July and August. So when I shop for summer, I really have to mean it, ya know?

So, here are the things I have in my carts right now. The stuff I have my eye on (for the most part) is versatile enough to last beyond a single season, and I have eyed up and linked quality affordable alts whenever possible.

Scroll down for the details linked to my ShopMy here.

1. Vichy Capital Soleil Sunscreen

She is 2x more expensive than the Neutrogena I was going to reach for when my Elf finally runs out, but my fellow sensitive skin bff’s esthetician uses this one and raves it, so we might give it a try. Will report back!

2. Stud Earrings

I’ve been a hoops girlie for a while now, but our new puppy is always just one nip away from ripping my huggies straight out of my lobes, so it feels like a good time to return to the elegant stud. The pair linked here are a chic oval shape and I already know Pavoi jewelry can be worn extensively without irritating my sensitive ears.

3. Makeup By Mario Soft Plumping Cream Blush Veil (Paradise Pink)

Blush is my desert island makeup product, and a hot pink blush is a summer need. I’m in love with MBM’s plum shade of this cream blush, and it’s a daily wear that honestly still lasts foreverrr.

4. Dragon Diffusion Nantucket Bag

The cool girls all seem to be rocking some version of the woven leather tote bag and I’m obsessed. I’ve almost checked out at both Holt Renfrew and SSENSE recently…

5. The Etsy Version

…but this handmade alt caught my eye and is a fraction of the price. The key to a good dupe is material and construction, and handmade leather… I mean could it really be that bad? If saving $600 is wrong, I don’t want to be right, tbh…

6. ALD x New Balance T500s

Simple white tennis shoes with a little flair = a summer staple. Everything Aimé Leon Dore touches is gold in my opinion, but their sneaker collabs are usually elite. I actually just snagged a preloved pair of these T500s on eBay, effectively moving them off the wishlist.

7. Aritzia Sunday Best Hepworth Bloomers

Style Toast posted a cute pair of Khaite bloomers a long time ago and I added them to my own list. I don’t think they’re the kind of thing I’d get a lot of wear out of outside of the home, so I was thrilled when this cute $38 pair landed at Aritzia this season.

8. Arket Leather Ballerinas

If you know me you know that both leopard print and ballerinas are basically 50% of my personality. At least 10% of said personality is also having true size 11 feet. Not cute narrow model feet, but like true Euro 42.5s, so the Arket version feel a little risky. (Power to you if you have cute dainty normal girl feet)…

9. H&M Leather Leopard Flats

For half the price, but still real leather, these H&M flats are an option I’m considering instead. H&M shoe sizing does usually run tts if not a little big in my opinion, so a much safer option overall!

10. Moroccanoil L’Originale Eau de Parfum

Until I smelled this eau de parfum, I wasn’t a Moroccanoil fragrance stan. I’ve since learned there’s a cult following of this line due to the smell that lingers in your hair after using the shampoo and conditioner. It is truly right up my alley in the most summer way. It might be for you if you have similar powdery/floral/skin-scent fragrance preferences. My other go-tos are Glossier You, Byredo Bal d’Afrique, Ellis Brooklyn Marshmallow, Jo Malone Wood Sage & Sea Salt and this feels of the same essence.

11. Miu Miu Riviere Cord And Leather Thong Sandals

Obviously out of the budget and totally unrealistic. An easy Google search showed me the ones more fit for a seasonal, maybe even flash-in-the-pan trend sandal…

12. Jeffrey Campbell All-Aboard Rope Sandals

I dunno what it is about a paracord but I’m deeply enthralled with the aesthetic. Looking at these, even $100 feels like a lot for a shoe fashioned after a camping rope… What are the chances I could make a pair of these out of a length of rope and thrifted Tevas? 😂 😂 😂

Comment here if you have any rave reviews or want more details! And tell me, what’s in your cart and on your wishlist this season?

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A colleague and I were going back and forth on field trip plans a few months ago, weighing the chaos of public transit against the comfort (and cost) of a private coach. We were at a standstill—blow the budget or sacrifice our sanity? That’s when a student, who’d clearly been eavesdropping, shrugged and said:

“Ahhh, let’s just take the bus. It’ll be chaos—but let’s do it for the plot.”

I fell in love with the phrase on the spot.

Do it for the plot.

It’s a perfect little mantra for making slightly unhinged, mildly dramatic, deeply memorable decisions.

So, in the midst of the February blues, I decided to take a leap (and convince my husband to do the same). Several weeks later, we welcomed Bodie, our golden retriever puppy, into our family.

We weren’t exactly ready—emotionally, or schedule-wise—but the idea of a fluffy golden blur trotting through our lives was a dream we’d (I’d) put off for far too long.

Our beautiful boy is an orange blur of joy. He’s winning over my lifelong cat person husband more and more every minute, and constantly peeing on things, but honestly? We needed the chaos.

I said yes for the plot, and now I get tackled by love (at 4:30am 😅) every morning.

Worth it.

Ok so tell me, have you done anything for the plot lately?

I’m so glad you’ve stumbled upon my corner of the internet. I like to think of pretty cry as a gathering place—something like a cozy book club / journalling / afternoon tea (or cocktail!) meetup—for thought-daughter-adjacent humans seeking a quieter alternative to the doom scroll.

Never one to speak righteously about the ills of social media (you should see my screen time), I still find myself longing for the days of glossy magazines and old-school blogs. The eras when the internet was a novel escape from real life and not the other way around.

This space is my attempt to have my cake and eat it too. As I enter an auspicious year of life (those born in years ending in six know what I mean), I’m interested in slowing down, savouring my time a little more, and paying closer to attention to thoughtful and well-lived days while still seeking my people online.

Here you’ll find columns about big and small things: personal essays, notes on pop culture, books, journalling, and analog tools that help me think, teach, and write. Some posts are funny, some tender, some useful and hopefully some are all three.

Where else you can find me:

I share glimpses of the in-between on Instagram and TikTok: things I’m reading, writing, thinking about, or wearing on real days. Come find me and say hi if those spaces are your jam.

But in the meantime, thanks for being here.

My heart skips a beat when anyone comments over here. So tell me, how did you find pretty cry?

As a teacher, I always feel like a grizzly bear emerging from a cave on the first day of October. September is back to school month and the energetic shift from time off to full swing school is a shock to my nervous system to say the least. The month always passes in a blur of lesson planning, transitional outfit meltdowns, and 8pm bedtimes.

It makes perfect sense, then, that while habits like posting online and drinking a minimal amount of water to sustain a human body take a backseat in the busiest month of the year, my shopping habits ramp up! 😅

To begin my return to normal routines, today I’ve listed five things I bought and loved in September 2024.

1. Coach Brooklyn 39 Bag

No denying I was influenced to buy this bag and I’m not mad about it. It’s big enough to hold my laptop, planner, cosmetics, and other randomly-hoarded ADHD teacher tings. (Can I interest anyone in a random orange Starburst or a dry erase marker?) I opted for the dark chocolate brown over the suede for a few reasons, one of which being Vancouver weather + suede do not mix, and the other because the shade available was slighty too orange-y for me. The soft supple leather of the Brooklyn lives up to my expectations and is reminiscent of their OG vintage leather pieces.

2. Makeup By Mario Skin Enhancer in Light Medium

This is a repurchase and believe me when I say I scraped every last drop out of my first pan. It’s not quite a bronzer; in fact, I use an actual bronzer as well if I’m getting fully ready. More of a skin “warmer” that adds a little extra depth and glow. I use a shade that is just a hint deeper than my natural skin tone.

3. Seychelles Suede Clogs

Canadians, we aren’t talking enough about not having Nordstrom and Nordstrom Rack in Canada anymore 😭! I picked up two pairs of these clogs (I sized up) on our long weekend Seattle trip. They’re somewhat sleeker than a Birkenstock and honestly the footbed is so much more comfortable too. And, in the most overused (but so accurate) phrase of the season, they’re giving The Row.

4. Fall Denim

Ok I’m going to cheat here and lump three pairs of jeans into one list item. My jeans size changed over the summer, so I was tragically (🤣) forced to replenish my collection. I fell hard for the Seven for All Mankind Alexa Cropped, Zara TRF Mid-Rise Balloon (sized down by two), and the Zara Leopard-Print Relaxed High Waist Jeans.

5. Glossier You

Another repurchase and my favourite go-to fragrance. Glossier is about to release two more in this line, and I’m excited to see if I’ll love them just as much.

Thanks for reading, friend! Shop all my faves here. If you purchase with my link, I get a teeny tiny commission at no extra cost to you!

Welcome to the third instalment of The Getting Dressed Chronicles, a series where I’m sharing about the kinds of things I’m chatting about with my IRL friends these days.

Today’s post is about how I’m shopping from brands as well as thrifting lately, and how this aligns what what I believe about personal style and getting dressed.

The Pursuit of a Fully Thrifted Wardrobe

Last time, I wrote about using a note in my phone to keep a list of things I want to buy to try and curb over-shopping and impulsive thrifting.

As I wrote then, it’s been working well!* With a list to refer back to, I give myself the opportunity to reflect before making a purchase, identify true gaps in my wardrobe, and stay mindful about what is really worth it.

Shopping more intentionally has had another interesting side effect, too. I’ve started to become more comfortable with something that once made me feel guilty, even ashamed: buying new (not thrifted) clothes.

My goal was once to have a fully thrifted wardrobe. A nice idea, and definitely my first choice if it were fully possible while still feeling comfortable in my clothes, but not always reality. At least, not one that allowed me to have a streamlined getting dressed strategy.

Nonetheless, I’ve experimented with this over the last few years, never fully getting to a 100% secondhand clothing collection.

I have, for example, always defaulted to Old Navy jeans** which suit my midsize (US size 14) body perfectly and are incredibly affordable even brand new.

As well, as any woman with a size 11 foot can tell you, it’s slim pickings for shoes, especially at the thrift. I’ve built a beautiful collection of secondhand sneakers, recently thrifted the most amazing (men’s) loafers, and still adore my Poshmarked Birk Bostons, but when it comes to more feminine styles, thrift trips are often fruitless.

@bysarahreneeShop secondhand, save the planet ✌🏼🌎 #thrifted #fyp #birkenstockboston #poshmark #poshmarkcanada #thriftedfallfashion

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My closet purging project has helped me to see that in pursuit of that arbitrary goal of mine—to wear only secondhand clothes—I ended up with an over-full high turnover wardrobe, with items coming home with me only to be re-donated again or taken out of rotation far too quickly.

What I’ve realized, too, is that despite the thrill of being able to say Thanks, it’s thrifted like a full-blown fashion girly every time I get a compliment, that goal wasn’t serving me or my personal style.

*Wishlisting is working for me. And, sometimes there is something called the emotional over-ride, like this leopard skirt that I definitely did not have on any list but also is perfect for a concert I’m going to on the long weekend.

**Links to products I love are affiliates. Thanks for clicking!

Lifestyle vs. Reality

So where did I even get the inkling that I should buy all clothes secondhand? I find that the internet exposes us to so many lifestyles. Lifestyles, as in, the kind that fit neatly into social media algorithms and personal branding niches. I’m thinking of things like #thrifttok and #myminimalhome, not to mention the trad wife discussion which is a whole other story.

Becoming immersed in new worlds can be so enriching, and is one of my favourite things about the internet: seeing beyond our own corners of the world. (Anyone who was pulled into the depths of North Sea TikTok knows what I mean!)

BUT, while we are exposed to creators with unique and important convictions like sustainable fashion, it’s important to remember that nothing has to serve us absolutely all the time. Such is the case with me and thrifting.

Don’t get me wrong, I will always love the sustainability, creativity, and practicality of buying secondhand. But, I’m sense-checking my all-or-nothing thinking that can go hand in hand with the concept of a #fullythriftedfit.

Because from the perspective of healthy consumption, what makes more sense: consecutively thrifting three pairs of ill-fitting shoes, or buying one brand new pair that fit perfectly and can be worn for many years?

If meh pieces just end up back in the donation-landfill cycle, is it even that environmentally sound in the first place?

And, through the lens of personal style, not to mention closet space, doesn’t it make more sense to try on and purchase a simple black tank dress that can be worn every single week of summer—styled with my favourite vintage and secondhand accessories—than to present myself to the world in a rotation of five less well-fitting and less me dresses that just happen to be thrifted?

What are your thoughts?

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I’ve been reflecting on these questions myself, and have comfortably come to the conclusion that for me, a mix of brand new and secondhand clothes in my wardrobe just makes sense.

A Birkenstock Epiphany

It started when my husband went to Oregon (a tax-free outlet-a-plenty shopping paradise for us Canadians) in late spring.

Before he left, I climbed from beneath a mountain of hideous thrifted sandals that I knew I’d never wear to request he stop at the Birkenstock store for me. He was given specific instructions to seek out the Birkenstock Big Buckle Arizona and/or the Birkenstock Big Buckle Madrid in my size. I’d long hoped to find these secondhand, but it just hadn’t happened.

My sweet husband, after many chaotic FaceTimes and a near-miss when a box of Gizehs were mistakenly placed with the Madrids, came home with both requested pairs.

Friend, I have worn those sandals more than any other shoes this season. They’re comfortable, high quality, and both timeless and on-trend enough to go with almost everything I like to wear.

The Birkenstock Epiphany—as we’re now calling it apparently—helped me to see that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a mixed wardrobe, one that includes both secondhand and brand new things.

My Evolving Shopping Strategy

I continued to expand my shopping horizons as I purged my summer closet. I paid close attention not only to what sat unworn, but also how I felt in the outfits I did put on.

Remember the sweaty grey dress I mentioned in an earlier post? I removed her from my closet instantly after feeling self-conscious the whole day at work, only to realize I had no other options that I felt more comfortable in. The same went for shorts from last year. My size has changed slightly and the ones I had just weren’t working anymore.

My first point of call was still the thrift store, but the thing about thrifting is that the thrill of the hunt is balanced equally with the disappointment of leaving empty-handed without the thing you really want (and in my case, needed!)

With intention, I built my wishlist, gathered inspiration from my Pinterest boards and favourite creators, and found what I needed for summer online and at my local mall (namely shorts, lightweight trousers, and a simple dress).

My new pieces perfectly complemented my existing thrifted t-shirts, button-downs, and denim jackets. And, I managed to go the rest of summer school without an Outfit Meltdown™️. Success!

Throughout the rest of the summer, I had the luxury of getting dressed mainly for home or beach days, backyard hangs, and fun nights out. I was left with not only an accidental capsule wardrobe that serves my life of leisure (lol) as much as my work, but also a new shopping strategy which can be outlined pretty simply:

Keep a wishlist. Thrift what I can. Not too much.

And that pretty much sums it up!

It’s been an interesting mindset shift to go back to buying some things brand new. I’m more aware of just how much we are marketed to, and the impact of a get it before it’s gone sale.

As I type this, I’m preparing to refine my wishlist and get ready to *very mindfully* shop the Aritzia Warehouse Sale this coming week. I’m feeling hopeful that with my mantra, I can avoid excessive impulse buys!

What’s your shopping / buying / getting dressed philosophy these days?

I’m truly curious as I have friends who span the full spectrum: Some folks I know might shop Poshmark or eBay but don’t have the time or desire to thrift at Value Village, for example.

Others rarely shop brand new, relying on thrift, hand-me-downs, and buy-nothing groups. And, those I’m texting with the most these days are embracing a healthy mixed bag of all of the above.

Where do you fit in?

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Until next time, friend.

I posted the photo above on the way to a concert recently. When I looked back on my IG stories later that evening, I was pleasantly surprised to see that my skin was finally clear again. I’m only wearing a light skin tint in the picture, and compared to the breakouts I’d experienced in the days prior, I was amazed.

Over the course of the previous week or so, I had launched into action to get to the bottom of a series of unexpected skin issues. With a few simple tweaks, I restored my skin—and an additional glow, if I do say so myself—and have been telling everyone who will listen about how I got here.

So, today I’m going to tell you about it as well! If you’re hesitant to dive into yet more beauty advice, I get it. I’m constantly bombarded with new products and routines to try on all the platforms and it can be a lot. But what I learned in this process over the last few weeks is as much about what we don’t need to do for our skin health.

Most of my life, I’ve had problem skin. As a teenager, it was acne. As a 20-something it was hormonal breakouts from a never-ending process of finding the right contraception. And in my 30s, up until about a year ago, it was all of the above plus fine lines and melasma from earlier irresponsible sun tanning.

A year or so ago, I finally found a skincare routine that mostly works for me. I have sensitive combination skin that leans towards oiliness in the summer and dryness in the winter. The skincare that initially cleared up (and, importantly, maintained) my clear skin targets acne and large pores, hyperpigmentation, signs of aging, and dehydration.

Over time, though, I started experimenting with new products—a serum here, a toner there—and got lazy about other habits, too, resulting in a series of unfortunate events… on my face.

It started with a series of breakouts in random spots on my face. A seasoned acne fighter, I’m used to my typical problem areas: jawline during hormonal breakouts, clogged pores sometimes causing inflammation or small pimples on my nose and cheeks.

These breakouts were different in that they popped up at random over the course of a few days. I also started to see redness around my nose, tiny bumps in the sensitive skin right by my eye, and getting shinier/greasier than usual on my nose throughout the day.

I wish I had before/after photos for you, but the last thing I wanted was to snap a selfie in full reactive skin mode!

I’ll be honest, at first I didn’t help my case and tried overzealously to do extractions, making the whole situation worse. But by around day four, I got Type A about it. I Googled and TikToked and studied the ingredients lists on every product that comes within ten feet of my face, and now I’m summarizing and sharing to save you the trouble.

In a nutshell, here ya go:

Step 1: Remove External Pollutants

Remember in 2020 when we all became hyperaware of how often we touch our faces and why it’s not a good idea to have our germ-y digits all over our skin? Same idea when it comes to skin health. If you’re managing breakouts or a flare-up as I was, before you change up your skincare or start a new active ingredient, take a minute and think about everything that comes into contact with your face.

I thought about my makeup brushes, bedding, linens, hats/headwear, headphones, sunglasses, and hair. This didn’t apply to me, but you might also consider any recent changes that might be causing your new breakouts. Are you using a new detergent or hair product? New headphones causing sweaty buildup around your temples?

What I did:

• Washed all our bedding including pillowcases, sheets, and duvet cover on a sanitary high spin cycle.

• Washed all my makeup brushes and beauty blenders (and tossed a few as well).

• Gave my phone a wipe down and made a conscious effort to do this more often.

• Started changing my top pillowcase (I’m using these ones for hair and skin purposes) every other day.

• Washed my hair and started sleeping with it pulled back in a protective style away from my face.

• Washed my sleep mask (I use this one) and started washing it every other day.

• Invested in towels that are just for my face. I keep these in a basket beside the sink and use one towel a day (one side in the morning and the other side in the evening) before putting it in the laundry basket.

Conclusions: My sleep mask, makeup brushes, and towels might very well have been the cause, and at the very least were not helping matters. Summer heat breeds more bacteria and grime, and that was likely transferring to my face. Gross.

Step 2: Glow from the Inside Out

With external irritants managed, I turned to the internal factors. This is the hardest one for me because I famously forget to drink water, eat my feelings, and live for caffeine 😭. I could say I cut out coffee, alcohol, sugar, and stress in the name of clear skin, but let’s be real. Instead, I reflected on any changes to my habits and aimed to make adjustments.

What I did:

• Started carrying my Owala around the house with me room to room and bringing a smaller version out with me either in my bag or the car.

• Snacked on nuts and fruit throughout the day to avoid getting starving and having a blood sugar crash which can sometimes = breakouts.

• Re-ordered collagen powder for my smoothies. (Honestly, I don’t know if it does a single thing, but running out of my last tub did coincide with my skin looking a bit rougher. So who knows.)

My conclusions: I think the main change for me was my water consumption. I’d been neglecting to bring water when I went out, and of course summer weather means more likelihood of dehydration and so on. There are apps I could download to help with this, but I’m not there yet.

Step 3: Skincare Investigation

With those details under control, it was time for me to look at my skincare products. Using a fine-tooth comb, I scoured the labels and active ingredients of everything I’d been putting on my face including makeup and skincare. There were little to no changes in makeup, thanks to my July makeup capsule, so I turned my attention to the skincare products I’d been using.

I looked for evidence of reformulation (like packaging changes), and reflected on the order I’d been applying active ingredients in case I’d created some sort of irritating combination by mistake.

My routine included salicylic acid, niacinimide, a variety of AHAs, BHAs, and PHA serums, a milky toner, a new vitamin C cream, ceramides, hyaluronic acid, and a chemical SPF. Other actives (that I’m not using, but you might be) include retinols, retinoids, coenzymes, ferulic acid, and more).

At this point in my process, I realized that my once-effective skincare routine had crept towards chaos as I experimented with new serums and toners.

What I did:

• Read the ingredients carefully on all of the above, and discovered that my Naturium niacinimide cleanser included vitamin C, unbeknownst to me.

• Researched more about how and when I should/could safely use exfoliants like AHAs and BHAs.

• Read reviews of a newish watermelon toner I’d been putting on every day to combat enlarged pores.

My conclusions: My routine was confused and overall TOO MUCH! I might have accidentally been overdoing it with the vitamin C as I had no idea this was an ingredient in my morning cleanser and had recently added an additional vit c product. My bad. AND, I was likely exfoliating too much with an SA cleanser and a mishmash of AHA/BHA/PHA toners and serums.

Step 4: Soothe and Heal Skin Barrier

Using my conclusions from step three to guide me, I addressed any suspected irritants—grimy surfaces, too many products, dehydration—and turned to soothing my skin barrier.

I never even knew what a skin barrier was or that I had one until I found skincare goddess Charlotte Parlermino. (Her content helped me heal my skin initially, I highly recommend you follow her.)

Essentially, our skin naturally has a defensive layer, but with various products and lifestyle factors, it can become damaged and irritated resulting in breakouts and a host of other issues.

Since learning more, I now suspect a lot of the skin problems I’ve had throughout my life may have been related to a damaged skin barrier from too many harsh actives and not enough moisture and repair. (Does any other acne sufferer remember the days of accidentally bleaching your towels and pillowcases with harsh peroxide-based skincare?! 😨)

The key words I’ve learned to look for when it comes to barrier care are ceramides, peptides, allantoin, cica, and hyaluronic acid. Others that help include niacinimide, squalane, colloidal oatmeal, centella asiatica, glycerin or anything described as a humectant.

My advice is to keep it as simple as possible, especially if you’re trying to determine the cause of a flare. Even moisturizing, repairing ingredients can be overdone.

What I did:

• Immediately ceased and desisted with (most) products with harsh or exfoliating active ingredients. This meant a break from my exfoliant serums and vitamin C.

• Introduced a simple routine:

  • Cleanse with my OG Aveeno Active Naturals cleanser. (I continued double-cleansing with this balm too in the evening if I was wearing makeup)

  • Balance skin with this allantoin ceramide spray

  • Soothe with a multi-peptide + HA serum

  • Moisturize with a simple non-comodogenic HA cream.

My conclusions: After 2-3 days of doing this morning and night alongside steps 1-3, my skin calmed down. Breakouts stopped popping up, redness retreated, and my skin felt back to normal. Phew!!! I was also shocked to see, on reflection, that the products in my new routine were all somewhat inexpensive brands and not the higher-end ones that I’d been trained to think were superior. This is not to say all drugstore skincare is great, but it clearly comes down to individual skin needs and preferences!

Step 5: Slow Re-introduction

After several days of clear skin, I started to reintroduce my skin to mild actives, one at a time. As I write this, two weeks later, my skin has tolerated niacinimide and a gentle AHA kaolin clay mask. I still haven’t gone back to the harsher toners and exfoliants, and if my skin stays happy I might not do so.

What I did:

• I’ve used my niacinimide + zinc serum in the evening and did this AHA + kaolin clay mask on just my nose and cheeks (with results I felt very happy with!)

• Should my skin continue tolerate this okay, I will—one at a time—reintroduce vitamin C and a single exfoliating serum (to be used only sometimes).

My conclusions: Less is more! Despite having clear skin for a while, I think I got carried away and damaged my barrier over time. I’m also actually shocked that my skin has stayed okay without my salicylic acid topicals because for so many years I felt that was the only thing that kept acne at bay. Here’s to simplicity.

Obviously this is all a work in progress, and I’ll share updates as I go. Overall, I wanted to share with you as both a cautionary tale and a gentle reminder that a longer, more expensive, or more TikTok-viral skincare routine doesn’t always mean better!

And of course, it’s good to keep in mind that if you are existing in a human body—especially a female one!!!—there are only so many factors you have control over. Most importantly, find what works for you most of the time without breaking the bank.

In this post, I’ve used affiliate links for products I recommend, which means I’ll earn a small commission if you shop with my link. You can browse everything I’ve mentioned here.

As always, thanks for reading, friend. I’d love to know: how’s your skincare routine these days?

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Hi again, friend! Welcome back to The Getting Dressed Chronicles, a series of posts I’m writing about clothes and shopping and personal style. Read my last TGDC post here, and read on below for today’s thoughts all about keeping a shopping wishlist.

Why a Wishlist?

Last week, I wrote about the ever-growing pile of stuff that I’ve collected in the name of experimenting with personal style. One way I’m curbing this pesky little habit is by keeping a running wishlist of items I want and need, rather than shopping aimlessly or purchasing random stuff in the moment. It’s not exactly a novel idea, but it’s been working for me!

What follows in today’s post is a brief peek behind the scenes into my shopping wishlists in case you, too, want to try shopping more intentionally.

My goal, of course, is not to avoid shopping altogether. (The very thought! 😱) I just hope to make more well-thought-out and right-for-me purchases, limiting clutter and adoring every nice thing I spend on and take home.

Keep it Simple

My strategy is pretty basic, just a list kept in the Notes app in my iPhone and categorized into Clothes, Beauty, and Home sections. When I come across something—IRL or online—that sparks the urge to shop, I add it to the note, then try to limit any purchases I make to things on the list.

Wishlisting has been helpful when it comes to thrifting because if I feel the urge to hit Value Village, or I’m graced with an unexpected coupon in my inbox, I can aim to shop certain sections with intention and laser focus.

Recent thrift finds from my wishlist include a London Fog field jacket, Onitsuka Tigers, and a few minimalist pieces of decor for our home.

And, when it comes to the stuff I buy brand new, especially online, having a list to refer back to helps hold me accountable in the face of app notifications, sales emails, and affiliate links.

A Running Cart for Online Shopping*

In addition to my phone note, I’ve found it helpful, too, to keep a running cart for any online stores I frequent. So, for example, when there is a new makeup launch at Sephora or I find myself perusing the newest restock at Aritzia, I add anything I’m considering to my cart and just give it a minute—I try for a few days or more—before I check out (or not).

Again, it’s a helpful way of being prepared if there’s a sale. And, if I find myself in a store in person, I’ll refer to my online shopping carts to see what items I should try on or test out.

I recently avoided an impulse buy when a “French-girl makeup” tutorial I sought out suggested an Hourglass lip balm (this one, if you’re curious). I added it to my Sephora cart in the app. When I passed by the store that week, I popped in to see what I thought, and realized it was very similar to the Clinique Almost Lipstick in Black Honey (af link) which I already own and love. I still can’t decide if leaving Sephora empty-handed was a tragedy or a total rush. 🤣

*HOWEVER, the annoying risk of my cart strategy is that the retailers see us when we’re sleeping and know when we’re awake like evil reverse Santa Clauses, and they will remind you about your cart and resort to all kinds of coupons and notifications to get you to complete the purchase in a weak moment. Fortify yourself, and don’t say I didn’t warn you!

Add, Delete, Add, Delete

Importantly, I’m also constantly editing my wishlist. It’s been eye-opening to see the things I’m—in the truest sense of the word—influenced to buy but don’t really want. In the light of a new day I’ll often cull my wishlist and rarely think about those items again.

Just as interestingly, keeping an eye on the stuff I really covet motivates me to bypass more mindless purchases and save (money and closet space!) for the things I truly want.

Out with the Old

As I continue to edit my closet, I’m listing a ton of my own pieces over on Poshmark.

If you’re in Canada you can shop my closet by clicking here. Feel free to make an offer or create a bundle and let me know you’re a reader at des lettres!

If you live in the US or somewhere else in the world and you see something you love, comment or reply and I’m sure we can work something out.

Ok, so what are your shopping strategies? Are you a wishlister, an impulse buyer, or do you possess some sort of innate shopping wisdom you can impart to the rest of us?

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In the next Getting Dressed Chronicles, let me tell you about a few other adjustments I’m making to my clothes and outfit plans. If you want to be notified when new posts show up here, subscribe below!

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Thanks for reading, friend.

Read on for the first edition of TGDC which includes my recent thoughts on underconsumption, thrifting, and editing my closet (again). Feel free to hop into the comments at any time to share your thoughts. Thanks for being here!

Underconsumptioncore, yay or nay?

Have you seen the underconsumption trend on social media yet? If not, check out the type of videos I’m referring to here. It first crossed my TikTok feed a few months ago, in the form of a wonderful creator, Abi, who is taking her followers along on her overconsumption healing journey. After deep-diving into Abi’s account, which is beautifully non-judgmental and vulnerable, the algorithm did its thing. Soon I was being fed videos about everything from helpful hacks to squeeze the last out of your favourite stick bronzers, to somewhat braggy videos from folks who own a single threadbare winter coat.

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Here are a few videos that have inspired thought and conversation about things like haters online and makeup expiration dates:

@abidauntonThis ended up being more of a rant than i planned it to be - thoughts on underconsumption vs overconsumption #underconsumption #underconsumptioncore #overconsumption #makeup

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@devamshagunputCup girl where art thou 🗣️🗣️🗣️ #underconsumption #underconsumerism #minimalism #underconsumptioncore #minimalist #minimalstyle

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@dakiniinabikini @dakiniinabikini ♬ 80's style background music(1405364) - Green Woodpecker

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At worst, imo, “underconsumptioncore,” is a little Millennials and their avocado toast coded, with creators equating expired eyeshadow palettes to early retirement. Though a meaningful sentiment, social media has a way of taking an objective and personal habit—shopping less—and constructing an entire (at times preachy and pretentious) personality around it.

At best, though, the trend has me reflecting on my shopping habits, which I think is always worthwhile. I’m sharing a few of these reflections here today.

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Thrifting ≠ Intentional Shopping

SPEAKING of overconsumption, I’m finally realizing that thrifting doesn’t necessarily mean shopping intentionally. Sure, it’s more sustainable, and I’m sure there are restrained thrifters in our midst, but I’m not consistently one of them. My biggest aha moment came recently when I pulled out my spring-summer clothes for the warmer season. (And yes, I had the winter version of this epiphany several months ago and wrote about it here).

My early summer outfits were mainly fully secondhand (something I’ve prided myself on for a while now). But what I quickly noticed was that my summer wardrobe just didn’t make me feel good anymore. Outfit Meltdowns™️ were abundant due to simply having too much stuff. Many pieces—like a cute but awkwardly sweat-showing light grey ribbed tank dress—felt uncomfortable, and don’t even get me started on the mountain of shoes that held only one work-appropriate option.

It wasn’t a stretch for me to see that thrifting was still leading to me owning too many clothes. Makes sense, right? When at the thrift trying to decide between two almost-perfect pairs of sandals, each $3.99, it’s easy to say What the heck?! and get both. This also goes for thrifted clothes that are an awesome find, but not quite the right fit or colour (like said light grey dress), or items that feel like they might sit outside my comfort zone/style words but come home with me anyways, just in case.

Since doing a major summer closet overhaul, I’ve limited what I take home from the thrift with me, and try to go only with a specific intention in mind.

Has this been a perfect undertaking? Absolutely not. But awareness is the first step towards change, right? 😅

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Closet Editing Can Be Ongoing

To rectify the mess I’d made for myself, one Sunday—outfit-planning day—I began an expedited version of ’s closet editing system, summer edition. (Read about the winter process here).

I quickly (maniacally?) wrenched items out of my closet and dumped them on our spare room bed. My internal monologue was along the lines of, Hate it. Hate it. Hate it. Ew. Wtf. Wait, what about this one—nope! Hate!

Afterwards, what remained were my favourite basics—the only items I’d been reaching for anyways—and a few glaring gaps, such as versatile sandals and high school teacher friendly shorts, which I made note of.

I’ve been slowly chipping away at the pile of stuff I yanked out, filling bags of absolutely nots to be donated or listed on Poshmark, and making a pile of maybes and hows (as in I love this but how tf do I style this pieces) that I’m not quite ready to part with.

Outfits are being repeated, but the meltdowns have stopped. My husband seems pleased with the extra white space in our closet (but wonders why I’ve banned him from looking inside the spare room 🤣).

So, while underconsumption is a nice idea that seems to suit some folks just fine and is inspiring important conversations, I think it’s a lifestyle I’ll avoid subscribing to wholeheartedly. Instead, I’ll aim to balance liking nice things with a *normal* amount of consumption, a continual work in progress for me.

Thrifting will continue to be my first love, but I’m doing so more mindfully and being extra cutthroat with myself when I get to the toss-back stage and edit my cart.

And, finally, it might seem that finding balance between style experimentation and closet space is a lesson I’ll learn each season, but I am absolutely getting closer to a year-round getting dressed strategy (and thus, my true personal style).

Where are you up to these days with shopping, thrifting, and closet editing? Is there a strategy that’s working for you (or not)?

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Next time I write I want to tell you about how my new wishlist philosophy and how I feel about my three style words these days. If you want to get updates about new posts, make sure you’re subscribed to this free publication.

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Talk soon, friend.

Oh, hi! It’s been a minute.

The last few weeks buried me a little. End of the school year, startup and run through of the frenetic summer term, energy-sapping hot days, and the saddest news about a young person I once knew.

Don’t worry, I’m okay. I’ve leaned on my typical coping strategies: quiet time, bubble baths, cat snuggles, quality time with my husband and best friend, and am finally feeling a little more like myself. 

“Did it hurt so much it didn’t hurt at all?”

We were watching the latest season of The Bear last night. Have you seen it? It’s one of my favourite shows of all time and I don’t say that lightly. It has that way that all good shows and books do, of being about one thing (a restaurant) but really being about something else (grief, family, trauma, addiction). 

In one of the scenes of last night’s episode, a character is examining the scar on Carmy’s hand.

She asks him:

Sure, she was talking about the scar. But just like the show, it’s also always about something else. I think anyone who knows grief, tragedy, loss, etc. immediately said oof.

If you fall into that category (I mean, who doesn’t, to some extent?) maybe you’re familiar with that subconscious numbing.

It’s an evolutionary way, I’m sure, of getting by with all the heaviness of this human experience. The trouble is that if you’re numb to sad feelings for too long, you become numb to the happy ones too. 

So, in the spirit of trying to get back to feeling all the things (and, fittingly, my 2024 goals and word of the year), I’m making an effort to weave joy and fun into the last month of my summer vacation. 

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My 2024 Summer Live List

I didn’t want to call this list a summer “bucket list” because it just feels a bit morbid. Instead, I’ve written—and am still adding to—a summer 2024 Live List. A bunch of things I want to do to feel good in August. 

Here’s what I have so far: 

• Swim in the ocean

• Run 5k consistently again without pain and suffering

• Read just for fun

• Concerts (we already have tickets for Tyler Childers and Metallica!) 

• Get a facial

• Get a massage from a new RMT who doesn’t literally injure me

• Get back into a creative writing habit

• Eat fresh oysters, preferably somewhere where I can also

• Drink a fancy cocktail not made by me 

• Perfect a fancy cocktail recipe at home

• Go to therapy (again)

• Style our bedroom finally!

No sky-diving or passport required, this simple working list is meant to bring a little spark into my normal, everyday life. 

What are you getting up to in August? Let me know! And, if you’ve made your own live list, I’d love to hear what’s on it. 

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I love myself a luxury product; this is a publication about enjoying nice things, after all. But the truth is, there are some decidedly unsexy boring stuff that I absolutely swear by and purchase on repeat.

As always, these products* are, in my experience, safe for my 38-year-old acne-prone dry skin.

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In no particular order of preference:

Aveeno Positively Radiant Clear Complexion Foaming Cleanser with Salicylic Acid

This lightweight cleanser has been my go to for decades. I hoarded it in suitcases when I lived overseas and briefly panicked when I noticed the packaging had changed. (No panic necessary, the formula stayed the same). The salicylic acid does wonders to keep my skin clear, but the soothing agents and light foaming consistency don’t strip or dry it out. Not too shabby for a drugstore brand, imo!

Quo Beauty Foam Bath in Lavender

I live for a bubble bath, and the value size and price of this one meet my high expectations. What it lacks in luxury packaging it makes up for in bubbly-ness and yummy smell. Decidedly unsexy but better than the dish soap I’d use in a bubble bath emergency 🤣

I’ve posted about it before on TikTok if you’re on there.

Byoma Balancing Face Mist

Don’t quote me on this because I’m not a dermatologist, but the advertised effects of this spray seem highly comparable (dupe perhaps?) to the viral Tower 28 SOS spray. If my skin is irritated or I sense a breakout coming on, I spray this on post-cleanser and/or between serums.

Byoma Hydrating Milky Toner

Another Byoma! Recently I couldn’t help but notice the milky toner/glazing milk/base milk trend (ICYMI, the K-Beauty trend has beauty celebs and influencers using milky ceramide-based skincare under makeup for a hydrated, glass skin look). Before dropping an out-of-this-world amount for the Ilia, or waiting for sad, slow Canadian shipping for the Rhode, I tried this affordable and convenient version, available at Shoppers Drug Mart. I press it into my skin after cleansing and before makeup or other skincare. My skin feels just the right amount of tacky afterwards with a dewy (not greasy) glow.

Klorane Detox Dry Shampoo with Organic Aquatic Mint

TikTok told me to try this one and it didn’t disappoint. I wash and heat style my hair once weekly, and this lightweight dry shampoo is integral to the plan. I was doubtful at first because it’s definitely not invisible on my deep brown hair, but it brushed out to be invisible and leaves a cool, tingly, clean effect on my scalp and whole head of hair.

NYX Brow Glue in Cool Brown

Amazon (yes, sorry) tells me I’ve repurchased this little tube of brow glue no fewer than three times. It fills in and holds my brows in place with no crustiness or flakiness, and takes 0.5 seconds to apply.

Pantene Dry Conditioner Mist Spray

I could write a whole thesis on this stuff. It’s been a game changer for my hair and budget. The first time I tried it, I just wanted to see what dry conditioner was all about, but when I used it, it gave me the sneaking suspicion it was the same consistency as heat protection and finishing sprays that I’ve splurged on in the past. I use it before and after heat styling, and it gives my hair a gorgeous lustre and movement, not to mention humidity protection! 10/10 recommend you try this if you have dry hair and/or heat style.

The Ordinary

My skin needs different things at different times of year/the month. My consistent re-ups include their Salicylic Acid 2% Anhydrous Solution, Niacinimide 10% + Zinc, and everyday moisturizer the Natural Moisturizing Factors + Hyaluronic Acid.

*Links are affiliates, a fun new thing I’m experimenting with. All products are still recommendations from the bottom of my heart!

Thanks for reading, friend!

P.S. If you liked this post, you might love this one too 👇🏼