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a baptism.

I was then,

but now I am.

I split open the seams and came out a spider.

You think about me.

Please, spit me out.

You “love me, but…”

I wanted to be the one you hold,

not an entity,

not a ghost you dream about

while you lay next to someone else.

You love me,

but you should let me out.

I’m just a figure on your shelf,

somethi…

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My house was full yesterday.

little cousins played with our dollhouse &

were splayed across my bed with ice pops, 

playing hide and seek in the closets.

We stood in my kitchen eating - 

dolloping homemade whipped cream 

onto cupcakes 

in the house I made;

the house that broke, 

the house that sparkles in the golden hour light. 

I’ve measured time by my baby’s hei…

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One day,

someone who looked like me

ripped me out of the ground by my hair.

Excavated from my garden tomb

and welcomed back by the sun,

as a sister,

as a mother -

I expected to be whole, and clean.

But my lungs were in pieces

and sprouted out from my body in tendrils.

My feet were black from walking the shores of the kingdom of the root.

For once,

there i…

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Tears ran down hot at my mother’s table. 

“What is this life for, if not to love?” She shouted. 

Those tears burned like too much sun - 

too much ocean;

erosive salt peeling back my skin -

Shaving me down

like tempered glass in the sand. 

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The Queen of Cups

No one knows I skip meals to save money.

I just say I’m not hungry.

I cry in my car on the way to work,

I take the scenic route -

the one lined with the most trees,

the winding road beside the river.

“No lunch today?”

“No…” I say “I didn’t have time.”

One day I’ll tell you how much it hurt to be free.

I’m fine. I’m fine.

I just need to pick her u…

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My Mother’s Life

I can hear my fingers drag across the fabric of my clothes, 

and the sound of my breath 

sliding down the back of my throat. 

I’m living my mother’s life. 

It’s my feet that press into the old wood floor 

I say nothing but

it answers back. Creaking. 

These sounds tell me I’m still here 

in this 

body. 

I’ve been asleep. 

I don’t know when it first …

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Circling,

and tracing every curve

I turned my body

into lines

and watched myself dissolve

into a paper doll. 

I erased the curve of her mouth, 

then I cut the longing

from her paper heart out. 

With strands of hair

I braided her a curse. 

Now she does as she’s told

scarred with creases and folds.

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Speaking to the Dead

Hecate said,

If you wish to speak to the dead,

follow the Bees.

Follow them in death.

The Veil appears like sunlight on Her wings;

strands of light as narrow as a spider’s strings -

Step softly into the shadowed cavity

left by Persephone’s feet.

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Prompt 1

Hold up your name like a dress, what does it look like? If you take that dress off and put on another gown, this one slinkier, shinier, different in every way than the other, what might it look like? From which materials would this outfit, your alternate identity, be held together?

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