I often find myself in a balancing act of inputs, such as reading, listening, watching, absorbing, and outputs, such as creating, writing, cooking, conversing with land and animals, hiding and seeking with self and others, playing music, thinking a lot, feeling a lot, and saying thanks.

Inputs

• Navigating by Aliveness

• A friend is releasing her debut book via birdmail

• Been diving into Werner Herzog’s catalogue and soaking up every moment for he is a brilliant artist of moments… highly recommend Ghost Elephants, Cave of Forgotten Dreams, Happy People: A Year in the Taiga, and The Great Ecstasy of Woodcarver Steiner

• Reading: The Power Fantasy Series by Kieron Gillen and The Eyes and The Impossible by Dave Eggers (← truly brilliant and one of my new favorites, thank you to Jane for the recommendation)

Outputs

• New poems out in Silly Goose Press and SMOKE

What’s In Between?

My intention here is to share something lurking in the liminal space between inputs and outputs. Something I’m chewing on, playing with, curious about, or tethered to.

Interpret however you wish… I’d love to hear your response. Feel free to respond to this email or share in the comments below.

Upcoming Events

• August 25th I’ll be typing poems at the Caledonia Concert Series ~6pm

• Most Thursdays in August/September I’ll be typing poems at Relax at Rosa downtown GR ~11am-1:30pm

ten humans asked for a poem

When I sit for my improv poem practice, I ask for the person’s name and a word (or a few) to share before I begin writing them a poem. Some say nothing, others tell me an entire story, most say a few words. I am consistently — delighted/in awe/filled with giggles/overjoyed/confuzzled/aching with grief/holding something untouchable— during these moments with (mostly) strangers.

Ten humans who asked for a poem and the words they shared with me:

• Jack: pirate, stupid, treasure, octopus

• Blair: write one for my wife, she’s a badass

• Candice: my friend’s dog was hit by a car last night and died

• Trevor: bike polo

• Giovani: pagan, stubborn, stuck

• Anthony: wizard, aroma, invigorate, foundation

• Eileen: alone

• Thomas: love, music, community, inclusion

• Elle: you know that song - go your own way - something like that

• Dan: stand up, come look at what’s under my hat… his name is Moe, will you write one for him?

I often find myself in a balancing act of inputs, such as reading, listening, watching, absorbing, and outputs, such as creating, writing, cooking, conversing with land and animals, hiding and seeking with self and others, playing music, thinking a lot, feeling a lot, and saying thanks.

Inputs

• the quiet grief of adult friendship

• wednesday

• radical softness

• works in progress

• Reading: Invisible Guests by Mary Watkins and The Correspondent by Virginia Evans

Outputs

• Poems out in Thimble Literary Magazine and The Louisville Review

• Art out on MacGvyer’s Danshingu EP with OOOF Records

  

• A few months back I joined the committee at the DAAC (Division Avenue Arts Collective) which is now living inside the Four Star Theatre in Grand Rapids. It’s an old retro circusy space with disco balls, so many lights, a circular&rotating contraption some may call a carrousel/bar, a beautiful stage, a slanted floor, many built in ladders, and wonderful people who are committed to DIY art spaces for music, visual arts, performance, and community. I’m so grateful. Whitney and I, co-stewarding The Zone of Authenticity, are curating and exhibiting a group art show and celebration in July. Each artist has selected a card to inspire their work as a way for the exhibit to journey through the deck. We are so excited by the artists we are collaborating with— painters, poets, choreographers, crocheters, collage-artists, sculptors, drag queens, musicians, illustrators, jewelry-makers, and more. Come celebrate with us! July 23rd from 6-9p. Link to RSVP.

What’s In Between?

Welcome to the newest section of 90% figs— what’s in between? My intention here is to share something lurking in the liminal space between inputs and outputs. Something I’m chewing on, playing with, curious about, or tethered to.

If you were a vending machine, what would you vend?

Interpret however you wish… I’d love to hear your response. Feel free to respond to this email or share in the comments below.

Upcoming Events

• Most Tuesdays in July/August I’ll be typing poems at the Caledonia Concert Series ~6pm

• Most Thursdays July - September I’ll be typing poems at Relax at Rosa downtown ~11am-1:30pm

• July 23rd: The Zone of Authenticity’s Community Art Show & Celebration ~ 6-9p.

• July 25th: I’ll be typing poems at Studio Park downtown for the Christmas in July Market ~11a-4p

I often find myself in a balancing act of inputs, such as reading, listening, watching, absorbing, and outputs, such as creating, writing, cooking, conversing with land and animals, hiding and seeking with self and others, playing music, thinking a lot, feeling a lot, and saying thanks.

Inputs

• Jariyah turns off the engine that keeps regenerating inequality.

  • And a field guide to support daily efforts towards circulation > accumulation

• Lynda Barry’s Two Questions

• Mladen Stilinović’s Praise of Laziness

• For the Tweens

• Reading: Why Fish Don’t Exist by Lulu Miller, Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman, and During by James Richardson.

• Stewart Brand on Maintenance

  

  Outputs

• New album art on Henry Moody’s’ EP Darkula out with OOOF Records.

• Feeling so deeply grateful for all who supported me on my trip out east— it was long and windy, full of laughter and odd encounters. My friends are phenomenal hosts and humans— y’all rock. Thank you to all the friends of friends and strangers who came out and listened to me read silly, sad poems. It means a lot.

• Stay tuned for some Zone of Authenticity updates coming next month. Exciting things are marinating! If you have been playing with a deck and want to share some feedback with us, here’s a place to do that. And if you are like what’s that deck you speak of… where can I get one? Click here :)

  

What’s In Between?

Welcome to the newest section of 90% figs— what’s in between? My intention here is to share something lurking in the liminal space between inputs and outputs. Something I’m chewing on, playing with, curious about, or tethered to. Recently I’ve been asking my people this question (originally asked to me by my dear friend Zoë):

What’s your primary verb?

Interpret however you wish… I’d love to hear your response. Feel free to respond to this email or share in the comments below.

I often find myself in a balancing act of inputs, such as reading, listening, watching, absorbing, and outputs, such as creating, writing, cooking, conversing with land and animals, hiding and seeking with self and others, playing music, thinking a lot, feeling a lot, and saying thanks.

Inputs

• Abolition is about making things…

• Time is the wildcard

• Creativity as “A MYTHICAL CREATURE AT THE VERY EDGE OF THE WOODS” — and Shira Erlichman’s poetry

• In Search of Banksy

• Mutiny After Midnight

• Reading: Perfection by Vincenzo Latronico, My Trade is Mystery by Carl Phillips, Space Struck by Paige Lewis, and The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield

• Emily Pettit’s poem: Friendship

Outputs

• I’m headed out east for many reunion hugs with friends and lots of solo car time. Please help me spread the word and tell your pals in VT and NY to come out!

What’s In Between?

Welcome to the newest section of 90% figs— what’s in between? My intention here is to share something lurking in the liminal space between inputs and outputs. Something I’m chewing on, playing with, curious about, or tethered to. Recently I’ve been asking my people this question:

Who do you talk to you when you’re alone?

I’d love to hear your response. Feel free to respond to this email or share in the comments below.

I often find myself in a balancing act of inputs, such as reading, listening, watching, absorbing, and outputs, such as creating, writing, cooking, conversing with land and animals, hiding and seeking with self and others, playing music, thinking a lot, feeling a lot, and saying thanks.

Inputs

• The Times are Urgent, Let’s Slow Down (Bayo Akomolafe) … and a wonderful podcast with Bayo and the Garrison Institute.

• Intimacy is not only romantic. It is civic. In line with this article by Esther Perel and Mary Alice Miller, I’ve been thinking about neighbors a lot and feeling grateful for the generosity and warmth on our block…jumping cars, shoveling sidewalks, bonfires, dog walks.

• being and somethingness

• Poetry Off the Shelf interviews James Ciano. They talk about the locker room and masculinity and competition and remembering.

• Reading: The Crying Book by Heather Christle, Infidel by Pornsak Pichetshote, and I Who Have Never Known Men by Jacqueline Harpman (thank you Tara for this wonderful recommendation).

Outputs

• A small local record label—Ooof! —asked me to be their album artist for 2026. I’m thrilled! Making art inspired by music is my dream. Here’s the first EP: Cognitive Drift-stvnn (and art below).

• Recently launched a website for the Offers and Needs Market in Grand Rapids. Trying to bring some momentum here locally to build civic intimacy. A dear friend and I are collaborating with local groups to facilitate live markets. Michigan friends, please spread the word! And stay tuned for a virtual option I am dreaming up and will soon share here.

  

• From Meat for Tea’s Rasher Issue.

• From Dunes Review 29.2.

I often find myself in a balancing act of inputs, such as reading, listening, watching, absorbing, and outputs, such as creating, writing, cooking, conversing with land and animals, hiding and seeking with self and others, playing music, thinking a lot, feeling a lot, and saying thanks.

Inputs

• Thin desires are eating your life

• The Analog Revolution

• Listening to Jad Abumrad’s podcast series Fela Kuti: Fear No Man. Jad’s style feels like a highly organized audio flowchart (he loves to tell you where you’re at, where you’re going, and the questions he’s trying to answer.) I recommend his previous projects Radiolab and Dolly Parton’s America too.

• ZINEMAIL

• Reading: Things Become Other Things by Craig Mod, Somehow: Thoughts on Love by Anne Lamott, Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead by Olga Tokarczuk, and This is Amazing by Heather Christle.

Outputs

• I have two poems in the newest issue of Dunes Review including Human Song (below). There will be a virtual launch for the issue on Sunday February 13th at 3p. Link will be on their facebook page.

• The Zone of Authenticity: Authentic Connection Cards are here and in the world! Thank you to everyone who has ordered a deck. Each card offers a grounding statement, a core question, and a deeper reflection prompt. Examples below… Whitney and I recorded a podcast. We talked about our collaboration, our process, what it means to claim artistic identity, played with the cards, and more. With deep gratitude to many of you, we sold out of our first 50 decks and have more in stock now. You can order at whitneydawn.com/zoa. We are also interested in your ideas, dreams, hopes, visions of where you see these cards going and being. Maybe as a part of an event, a conference, an organizational meeting, a classroom, a conversation, a party… We would love to hear your ideas / feedback / curiosities here.

• Looking ahead… I will be on the east coast this spring and have two poetry events scheduled (maybe more to come). I would love to see you and your friends there! Please come say hi :)

  • Wednesday evening April 15th I will be in Shelburne, VT reading from Purgatory Junkie and in conversation with local author / family friend / recent email pen pal Katherine Leiner.

  • Sunday afternoon April 26th I will be reading poems and writing typewriter poems at Dear Friend Books in Brooklyn, NY. More info to come on these soon.

I often find myself reading, watching, listening, and absorbing—what I call my inputs. The moments in between are for outputs: creating, writing, cooking, farming, hiding and seeking with my identity, playing music, thinking (and feeling) and writing, and saying thanks.

Inputs

• My dear friend Tara Labovich published a gorgeous story called The Order of Soil. And Jeff Vandermeer annotated it. I highly recommend his book Annihilation.

• The Death of the Scientist

• A list of facts from 2025.

• Recently watched Roy Andersson’s film You, The Living and loved it. It’s a black comedy that begins with this quote from Goethe’s Roman Elegies "Therefore rejoice, you, the living, in your lovely warm bed, until Lethe's cold wave wets your fleeing foot."

• Recently read and recommend: The Employees by Olga Ravn and Universe in Verse by Maria Popova who also writes The Marginalian, one of my all time favorite newsletters.

Outputs

• I have two poems out in the latest issue of Meat for Tea titled “Gas Station 131 South” and “Is Church A Turn at Butchering Fear”.” There’s a PDF version of the issue available for $5 on their website.

• I am writing custom poems for strangers on my typewriter in public spaces and the am having the most magical encounters. I ask whoever approaches me for a word or story or prompt of their choice to start the poem. Most people give me something but there are also the few that say “just write something based on how you perceive me” which I guess is it’s own type of prompt (hah!) A few of the poems are below and yes, sometimes my typewriter likes to make an extra space after the letter “a.”

• I am planning a trip out east in late April / early May to visit pals. Hoping to plan some book readings for Purgatory Junkie and set up my typewriter for pop ups. If you have ideas for a bookstore, event space, local street corner, market, etc. that I could connect with, let me know.

  

I often find myself reading, watching, listening, and absorbing—what I call my inputs. The moments in between are for outputs: creating, writing, cooking, farming, hiding and seeking with my identity, playing music, thinking (and feeling) and writing, and saying thanks.

Inputs

• Recent Reading Highlights: Life on Mars by Tracy K. Smith, Catching the Big Fish by David Lynch, Science and the Akashic Field by Ervin Laszlo, Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata.

• An Existential Guide to Making Friends

• Feeling grateful for the moments and beings that help me zoom all the way out and back all the way in.

• Mystical Ornithology

• And this quote from Kurt Vonnegut:

Outputs

• I’ve been busy collaging and designing in collaboration with Whitney Dawn Pyles on a deck of cards, originally part of her award-winning interactive installation The Zone of Authenticity (ArtPrize 2023). The Zone of Authenticity: Authentic Connection Cards exist to meet an increasingly essential need for honest, empathetic, human connection. Each card offers a core question, a “go deeper” prompt, and a nourishing affirmation across five unique categories. The cards support individuals, partners, families, groups, and teams in creating space to play, imagine, and soften – loosening the grip of shame and perfectionism, inviting vulnerability, and helping us uncover small, steadying truths that allow us to bloom… together. Preorders available at whitneydawn.com/zoa

• Stone Circle Review published my poem titled, What Matters.

• For any local folks to GR, I will be reading poems from Purgatory Junkie on Saturday December 13th at Black Dog Books and Records. I’m excited to be doing this event with my friend Neil Kaufman who just published his collection of poems Jungle Gyms for Monkey Minds. You can get Neil’s book here. If you haven’t gotten a copy of mine yet, come get a signed one!

Purgatory Junkie is one month old today! I’m learning how to read these poems in public which is both rewarding and uncomfortable. Art Prize and the Grand River Poetry Collective hosted me a few weeks ago. Link to video.

A deep thank you to Jim Moore, Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer, and Jane Hilberry for sharing generous words about my book. (Click the links to read some of their work.)

I’m selling and mailing signed copies for $20 (including shipping). Let me know if you’d like one.

Inputs

It’s been awhile since the inputs/outputs but they’re back! I often find myself reading, watching, listening, and absorbing—what I call my inputs. The moments in between are for outputs: creating, writing, cooking, farming, playing hide and seek with my identity, thinking and writing about death, and saying thanks.

• Reading highlights: The Round House by Louise Erdich, The Light Eaters by Zoe Schlanger, Wandering Stars by Tommy Orange, Ways of Being: Animals, Plants, Machines: The Search for Planetary Intelligence by James Bridle, Audition by Katie Kitamura, and The Death of Vivek Oji and Freshwater both by Akwaeke Emezi.

• Collé is one of my favorite email newsletters exploring the world of collage. It’s free and spectacular. Sign up here.

Outputs

• Earlier this year I opened my own business as a contractor called ecocreative llc. I’m learning about the world of self-employment and what kinds of niches I fit in. Some of the things I am currently working on and hope to work on include: creative collaborations in writing, collage, etc., educational projects, whole systems design work, agriculture-related consulting, science communication writing and content creation, and generally tedious but quite satisfying computer projects (if you need a data gal…). This feels like an emerging output. If this kind of thing aligns with you or anyone in your circles, let me know! I’d love to connect.

• I have a new tiny poem published in password: a journal of very short poetry.

I want to share a preview of my new poetry collection Purgatory Junkie with you all before it is released this fall. In the video below I read four poems from the collection.

Main Street Rag will be publishing the book and it is available for preorder at the link below. Here’s a link directly to my author’s page:

https://mainstreetragbookstore.com/product/purgatory-junkie-camille-newsom/

Some details…

• The book costs $9+shipping if preordered now and will cost $15+ once it goes to press.

• If you would rather mail a check for a flat rate of $13.50/book (which includes shipping and tax,) please respond to this email and I’ll send you the order form to fill out and mail with your check.

Big thanks to all of you who have already preordered your copy!

I appreciate you all supporting my work. Please feel free to share the book (and/or the video) with your beloveds and your favorite strangers.

With love and care,

Camille

I am thrilled to announce first full-length poetry collection Purgatory Junkie is now available for preorder. Main Street Rag will be publishing the book and releasing it later this year, likely within the next few months.

Order Purgatory Junkie

Here’s a link directly to my author’s page:

https://mainstreetragbookstore.com/product/purgatory-junkie-camille-newsom/

Some details…

• The book costs $9+shipping if preordered now and will cost $15+ once it goes to press.

• If you would rather mail a check for a flat rate of $13.50/book (which includes shipping and tax,) please respond to this email and I’ll send you the order form to fill out and mail with your check.

I appreciate you all supporting my work and continuing to be a part of the 90% figs family. Please feel free to share the book with your beloveds and your favorite strangers.

A few samples from the book are included below (and on my author’s page.)

With love and care,

Camille

Dog and I

Ripe heat, and wilting. I feel bad for men
in black suits and tactical boots.
Yesterday we did surgery on a piglet.
I sat at the kitchen table, stacked towels
on my lap, spread a few on the floor to soak
the blood. Piggie rested in my arms, intestines
dangled down, brushing my thigh.
We tried to stuff the goobs back in,
like a sleeping bag in a stuff sack.
Oyster mushroom look, red wine color,
slippery like lube, oddly delicious. I describe
animal ailments with food adjectives.
Juicy vulva on a heifer who will soon give birth,
meaty brain-balls of Mr. Boar, crusty
foamy teats milked by a new calf. It’s odd
to return to the dark city after prying open
an abdominal sphincter on a spotted three-week old pig
who in nine months will occupy the door of my freezer
in the form of brat-patties and bacon.
And now, I walk the dog as if nothing important ever happens.
I pray his intestines don’t drag on cement
as we pass the man viciously sweating in his suit.
I know it’s time to turn home by the distance
between Dog’s tongue and the sidewalk:
a foot and we’re okay to keep chugging,
a few inches and he’s ready for an ice cube and a nap.
His limp is still there, but the CBD store
is permanently closed according to Google Maps
and I can’t order more shit online. 100 degrees today.
Tomorrow, 103.

All the Kiddos Say ‘Me Too!’
 
In the corner a child designs a fantasy game about unity,
pencils characters on paper towels,
imagines routes and rewards and the user experience.
The hospital requires me to label this: distracted.

Next to him, the silent child.

Then, the child who loves all things cash money,
who introduces himself as “Price,”

the teen girl who says “I’ve learned this a million times,
every hospital I’ve been to…sooo boring.”
She proceeds to take notes for the entire therapy hour.

One kid points out the races and genitalia of everyone in the room.

Another sleeps in the red leather chair.

One shares, “I am someone who everyone hates,”

and all the kiddos say “me too!”

Another says “I am someone who tried to die,”

and all the kiddos say “me too!”

I often find myself reading, watching, listening, and absorbing—what I’ll call my inputs. The moments in between are for outputs: creating, writing, cooking, farming, playing hide and seek with my identity, thinking and writing about death, and saying thanks.

Inputs

• Two essays from Palestinian American writer Hala Alyan, The Power of Changing Your Mind & The Palestinian Double Standard, and her poem Naturalized

• I highly recommend attending an Offers and Needs Market. Hosted by the Post-Growth Institute, this is movement towards dismantling capitalist systems and moving towards alternate economy models.

• For the eyes: close up photography & space porn: advent calendar images

• Film shorts: short of the week or shortverse.com

• Recently read: Dreamlives of Debris by Lance Olsen, Plant Intelligence and the Imaginal Realm by Stephen Harrod Buhner, The Boys by Katie Hafner, and A Psalm for the Wild Built by Becky Chambers

• Some odd and highly useful links to share: GigaBrain (for overstimulated reddit users who want to cut to the chase) & 366weirdmovies.com (if you’re hungry for offbeat content… recently watched Dogtooth, A Clockwork Orange, and Eraserhead)

• A link gift from a dear friend: Joyas Voladoras by Brian Doyle (essay)

• The World Keeps Ending, and The World Goes On by Franny Choi (poem)

Outputs

DOG AND I

Today, our world, five boxes on a paint swatch:
whitest, white, grey, greyer, and greyest,
melting in my mouth like a full ballad  

or frozen crayfish Dog seeks on the beach. 
Modest icy dunes peak at the shoreline, 
frozen waves too ambitious for description.

Dog trots along the lake’s edge in search of snacks,
slowed by the gestures of wind, the stubble
of sand and snow, and I, blanched by winter’s brutality,

bathe in the joys of senses, my gritty bones, 
the polished smell of wet dog, 
and the sounds of a breathing earth.
                                                                                  -CN

I THINK I’LL ENJOY DYING

my heart thumps along / the sidewalk / like dog heeling / my breath so dry / 
it snaps like a stale cracker / i’m a runner / i tell 
the therapist the instinct / is strong 
when something’s good / relationship job place / i can’t get away 
fast enough / she tells me 
about the monkey brain / and i picture something cute / i could smile 
at / but then the human / brain returns / how i’d miss your sighs
at developed dough / your beard scruff / your voice
high and lonesome / and dog 
washing my face daily / before bed / as if prescribed 
                                                                                                                                     -CN

I often find myself reading, watching, listening, and absorbing—what I’ll call my inputs. The moments in between are for outputs: creating, writing, cooking, farming, playing hide and seek with my identity, thinking and writing about death, and saying thanks.

Inputs

• The Serviceberry by Robin Wall Kimmerer

• Ursula K. Le Guin on writing process

• Fear is the cheapest room in this house (Hafiz poem)

• Reading: Ceres Colony Cavalier by Tony Rodriguez, The Wicked and the Divine by Gillen and McKelvie, The house on marshland by Louise Glück.

Outputs

This week I will begin a collaborative, community art project here in Grand Rapids: community journal project. My intention is to start a composition notebook with the following instructions on the inside cover:

Thank you for opening this book. You are invited to make one of the pages in this notebook yours. Draw, write, paste in bits of your life, collage, paint, paste photos and receipts, write songs, share your shower thoughts, etc. There’s no prompt, just whatever is coming to you right now. The only request is to pass this notebook on to someone in your community when you complete your page. No hate speech please. 

 If you are not interested in participating, that is totally okay. Please pass the notebook on. 

When the notebook is complete, there will be directions on the inside back cover to return it to me. I hope to have these community journals available in public libraries for folks to peruse, read, flip through, etc… If you would like to participate in this project in your local community, please do (and let me know because that’ll make me smile.)

• More Maddy and Gary Fest collages!

WASHING EGGS

helps to know       I,
guns at school
help to know       We.

How [to season a cast iron,     
to navigate unwanted pregnancy,
to dress for business, to kill
oneself] people will argue. 

And laughing matters too, like
teachers with pit stains, farting, of course,
and the gate, mostly locked these days,
entering the colorful abyss of self.
                                                                                       -CN

CEMETERY ACROSS THE STREET

I am unfamiliar with the sag of their cheeks
or what punctuated their mouth’s corners.

It’s easy to see their wealth—
Foster with the Washington monument headstone,
Mister, I assume, and the Pike’s roomy boulders
occupying a two whole rows. The stones with
decadent carvings like lattice pie decor,
and the poor people, stones fully flush with the earth.

It seems the wealthier the heftier, and
the heftier the farther from the sustenance of soil. 

Mr. Irving: 1852 - _________
no death? How impressive.

The Websters secured in a brass cage,
a gated community for the afterlife. 
I wonder if they’ve hired a gaudy lawn crew.

All the stones with lettering 
erode in the wind. Beside broad trees
the blank white stone is dressed 
with a single fake rose.

A voice tells me I should kneel and cry
or be weird and dig up bones and bacteria.

Instead I desire for cows to graze this graveyard,
reeking piles of manure and jagged grisly grass.
How offended the living humans would be 
and the living soil so nourished.
                                                                                      -CN

I often find myself reading, watching, listening, and absorbing—what I’ll call my inputs. The moments in between are for outputs: creating, writing, cooking, farming, playing hide and seek with my identity, thinking and writing about death, and saying thanks.

Inputs

• I’m reading The Gift by Lewis Hyde, The Mushroom at the End of the World by Anna Tsing, bone by Yrsa Daley-Ward, and the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows by John Koenig

• On inter-generational friendship, one of my favorite relationship forms.

• On being 13. Please spread compassion to the teens in your life. They are doing the best they can do to survive.

• An interview with Ross Gay on his new book The Book of (More) Delights

• A random collection of calculators

Outputs

• I had the honor of creating table center pieces for “Maddy and Gary Fest” a spectacularly creative wedding celebration for my dear familyfolk Maddy and Gary. They chose resonant poems, lyrics, quotes as the inspiration for each card. The words were printed on the backs of the cards, and one line picked out for the fronts.

More next newsletter…stay tuned :)

DOG AND I 

It’s 100 degrees today. I feel 
bad for the man in a black suit 
and tactical boots. Yesterday we did surgery 
on a piglet. I sat at the kitchen table, stacked 
towels on my lap, a few spread on the floor to soak 
the blood, The piggie rested in my arms, intestines 
dangled down, brushing my thigh every few seconds. 
We tried to stuff the goobs back in, 
like a sleeping bag in a stuff sack. 
Their oyster mushroom look, red wine color, 
and slippery as if covered in lube, ripe, 
oddly delicious looking. The farmers always say 
I describe the animal ailments with food adjectives. 
Like the juicy vulva of a heifer who will soon give birth,
or the meaty brain-balls of Mr. Boar, or some crusty 
and foamy teats recently milked by a new calf. It’s odd 
returning to the city at dark after a doozy of a day, prying open 
an abdominal sphincter on a spotted three-week old pig 
that in nine months with occupy the door of my freezer 
in the form of brat patties and bacon. And now I walk the dog 
as if nothing important ever happens. I pray 
his intestines don’t drag on cement as we pass the man viciously 
sweating in his suit. I know it’s time to turn home by the distance 
between Dog’s tongue and the sidewalk: a foot and we’re okay to keep chugging, 
a few inches and he’s ready for an ice cube and a nap. His limp is still there
but the CBD store is permanently closed according to google maps
and I just can’t order more shit online today.
                                                                                                        -CN

TWO BROTHERS PLAY CATCH

Fingers fast on frets,
the ball is thrown from 
one to the next. 
                                                                                                        -CN

I often find myself reading, watching, listening, and absorbing—what I’ll call my inputs. The moments in between are for outputs: creating, writing, cooking, farming, playing hide and seek with my identity, thinking and writing about death, and saying thanks.

Inputs

• I love this newsletter: brooke.substack.com

• A world of inspiration for all things creativity

• Audubon Photography

• I’m reading The Creative Act by Rick Rubin, Burnt Sugar by Avni Doshi, Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin, and Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott

• Go give some love to Maddy Hejna’s two new singles!

Outputs

• I am so excited y’all. My first chapbook, This Suffering and Scrumptious World, is finally out in the world. You can order a copy from Galileo Press’s website, or I can send you one in the mail if you prefer. Many of these poems emerged in early 2022 while living in Oregon. At the time, I was writing a poem every day, usually late at night after a long day of farming and living in community. I greatly appreciate Galileo Press for publishing this collection, and all the lovers in my life who supported my writing practice (and/or starred in the poems!) along the way.

• And a couple newer poems to share…

STILL LIFE

Kitchen table / chipped vinyl mostly white / dirty wet gloves / and pig slop
below the sink / replacement milk powder / drug vials for inducing births /
crop rotation diagrams / drawn on backs of bills /
open windows / flies / and the cows groaning for grass /
manure footprints paint / hallway floors /
afterbirths and chains / to pull calves from moms / satiated on alfalfa and clover /
four o’clock egg pick up / ten o’clock birds to bed /
the phone rings / your cows are in the road /
sprinting / kissing the ground with each step
                                                                                                                        -CN

FREEZER CAMP

Today is my boss’s birthday. We are sending
the chickens to freezer camp. She always says
this about the processor, always in a sing song voice
she only uses to talk to the pregnant heifers. 
We honor the birds as we shove them into crates,
feet first, then wings and head. Six to a bin. 
They’ll return from freezer camp next week.
I’ll roast one in my oven, marinated in buttermilk. 
                                                                                                                       -CN

I often find myself reading, watching, listening, and absorbing—what I’ll call my inputs. The moments in between are for outputs: creating, writing, cooking, farming, playing hide and seek with my identity, thinking and writing about death, and saying thanks.

Inputs

• Reading: The Lonely City by Olivia Laing, Betty by Tiffany McDaniel, The First Bad Man by Miranda July

• We are knee deep in Twin Peaks and fully in love with Lynch. He gets our weird…

• This conversation on Biomimicry with Janine Benyus

• Oh so many poems: Catherine Pierce’s High Dangerous and Anthropocene Pastoral, Nickole Brown’s Against Despair: The Kid Goat

• The Dust by Christopher Chang (beautiful short essay)

• Good conversations have a lot of doorknobs (so much gratitude to all the lovers who open my doors and invite me to twist their knobs)

Outputs

• Lots of gratitude for all the seeds, roots, and foliage growing. To my badass grandmother Jean who crossed the rainbow bridge last month at 100 years old. And to the abundant pollens, which every June connect me back to resilience amidst extreme discomfort. Much love.

Duplex III
-after Jericho Brown

A nuclear family eats at the vinyl tablecloth printed with yellow hot chilis.
All the moons of chaos are lit tonight.

All the moons of chaos are lit tonight.
The people fight about laundry and compost.

The people fight about laundry and compost and childhoods bulky with pain. 
Mom’s windshield wipers need changing. 

When wipers need changing it’s hard to see what’s behind and 
what comes next. How cut off we are from the random rhythms of raindrops—

the sultry, the soggy, and the rays of a stumbling sun’s heat—
the satisfaction we feel when others fail—
the vascular places where worry and wonder are friends.

Where worry and wonder are friends
lonesome poses in a throne of wildflowers and honey.

Remember, lonesome poses in a throne, a casual accomplishment, 
like family eating yellow hot chilis at the table.

Tonight families eat yellow hot chilis at the table
and all the moons are lit in our hollow bodies of sky.
                                                                                                            -CN

All the kiddos who say “me too!”

In the back corner one child designs a fantasy game about unity,
scratching characters in pencil on paper towels,

imagining routes and rewards, developing a user experience.
The hospital needs me to note this as “distracted.”

Next to them is the child who didn’t speak once.
Then there’s the child who loves all things cash money,

who introduces themself as “Price,”
the girl who says “I’ve learned this a million times,

every hospital I’ve been to…so boring”
and then proceeds to take notes for the entire hour

about the six stages of change.
Someone points out the races and genitalia of everyone in the room,

Then there’s a girl asleep in the red leather chair,
the child who says “I am someone who everyone hates,”

all the kiddos who say “me too!”
the child who says “I am someone who tried to die,”

and all the kiddos who say “me too!”
                                                                                                -CN

I often find myself reading, watching, listening, and absorbing—what I’ll call my inputs. The moments in between are for outputs: creating, writing, cooking, farming, playing hide and seek with my identity, and saying thanks.

Inputs

• Listening to Krista Tippet recent interview with Ada Limon, Jordan Kisner’s podcast Thresholds, and Rumblestrip’s Birdman.

• Nomenclature for colors

• Maria Popova’s brainpickings on The Bear, an illustrated meditation on life with and liberated from depression

• Reading: Strangers to Ourselves by Rachel Aviv, The School for Good Mothers by Jessamine Chan, Ross Gay’s Inciting Joy, and Jia Tolentino’s Trick Mirror.

• Sister Corita’s 10 rules for artists

Outputs

DOG AND I

There’s half a plastic mannequin—just legs—
on the porch next door, spray painted gold, 
and a devastating jack-o-lantern, droopy, 
on the verge of mold, staring at leg lady’s crotch.

We walk by, dog and I. Dog perks his tail, then fluffs 
his ears to investigate. We continue. 

The consignment store is growing chard
but no one is out harvesting the stems— 
pink and orange, like Fanta and Bazooka. 
Maybe dog and I will return tonight to steal some. 

The new home collective store is empty, except 
for cheap confetti scattered on the floor
like the thoughts of my patients last night at work: 
vivid and all over the place. 

Now the local barista stares at me 
through the front window. They must be bored. 
It’s that time of day where you don’t want 
to get caffeinated coffee because you’ll be up 
all night and you don’t want to be made fun of 
for ordering decaf so early in the day.

Two small white dogs bark at the frame shop, possibly asking
to be subjects of a future still life. Dog and I turn the corner 
to head home, past the elementary school and the gallery, 

the alleys littered with overflowing trashcans,
the youths dropping bags of bruised apples
and the couple walking a dog, 
telling everyone they are lonely. 
                                                                                   -CN

MORNING COMMUTE

Rows of faces, 
jaded, melted,
consumed by 
capitalism’s clock.

Mugs of caffeine 
cupped in palms,
eyelids fluttering, 
like fluorescent lights 
slowly flickering on.
                                                    -CN

I often find myself reading, watching, listening, and absorbing—what I’ll call my inputs. The moments in between are for outputs: creating, writing, cooking, farming, playing hide and seek with my identity, and saying thanks.

Inputs

• Recently reading: On a Sunbeam by Tillie Walden, Wonderland by Matthew Dickman, and The Wall by Marlen Haushofer

• On Mama Bears, A national group of parents of LGBTQ kids who are helping other parents move away from homophobic and transphobic beliefs to better support their children

• Writing Out of Time (article)

• Two Poems: Minimum Wage by Matthew Dickman and Everything is Dying, Nothing is Dead by Saeed Jones

• A beautiful conversation with art critic Jerry Saltz

• A wonderful zine: Depression Cooking (thank you dear pal who sent this to me :)

Menezes Depression Cooking Zine

4.38MB ∙ PDF file

Download

Download

Outputs

Duplex II

When the crescent moon holds the sky with a spoon 
all the shapes stumble.

All the shapes stumble when we sleep
like animals known only by tracks and traces.

The animals known only by tracks and traces
know you didn’t choose to pierce this world. You’re here.

You’re here probing the sounds of gardens in the rain,
binging the mind’s appetite, spying the pigeons dressed in purple.

The pigeon dressed with purple wings
curls ribbon on a present lodged in flower petals.

In the center of the flower
are all the things you didn't know you love.

I didn’t know I loved snow—frosty and sharp—even when peed on
by babies and puppies strolling at dusk.

Babies and puppies stir at dusk
when the crescent moon holds the sky with a spoon.

The crescent moon holds the sky with a spoon
cupping you and everything else.

                                                                                                                         -CN

Fangs

Belly up with bloody bums,
bloated and stiff and calm. 
That’s how I find them each morning. 
I grab the birds by the ankles with gloved hands,
chuck them over the pig fence and remember 
to never tell any customers. Most people find 
the circle of life confusing. And confusion
often hinders business. But how euphoric—
mama pig with a mouth full of meat and 
two chicken feet hanging out like fangs. 
                                                                                                -CN

Inputs

• Portraits of Motherhood

• Some cosmic perspective: When space feels “like a funeral," we discover “the beauty isn’t out there, it’s down here with all of us.”

• The Nap Bishop!

• The food expiration dates to actually follow from the brilliant J. Kenji López-Alt

• Joy Harjo on listening and writing with intention

• Two podcasts with Carmen Spagnola: Collapse Care and Living a Small and Delicious Life

• Sex, death, family: Sharon Olds is still shockingly intimate

• Warsan Shire’s poem: The Kitchen

• Recent reads: Ross Gay’s Be Holding, Sharon Olds’s The Dead and The Living, Hanya Yanigihara’s To Paradise, Abraham Verghese’s Cutting for Stone, and Alan Moore’s Watchmen.

Outputs

• I am thrilled to announce my first poetry chapbook will be published by Galileo Press in 2023.

I often find myself reading, watching, listening, and absorbing—what I’ll call my inputs. The moments in between are for outputs: creating, writing, cooking, farming, playing hide and seek with my identity, and saying thanks.

Inputs

• I’m reading Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi and The Tradition by Jericho Brown.

• The Syllabus Project - a wonderfully creative website!

• Napoleon Dynamite’s boogie is for real

• Two Poems: Aracelis Girmay’s You are who I love and June Jordan’s I must become a menace to my enemies

• Teacher, bureaucrat, cop (article)

Outputs

I’m grateful for these beautiful mama cows who constantly teach me about life and loss, mammary glands and poo, and the challenging joys of mothers and children.

Where the brick is stained with bird shit,
I mine my memories and return with nothing.

I mine my memories and return only 
with all the funny ways people walk,

The funny ways of all people:
chests forward, egos engaged,

the ego enraged, heated by difference,
like the difference between cattails and corndogs,

And then there’s singing, how we 
either love it or wish we could,

and more kids are dead says the TV.
We either cry or wish we could.

We either cry or wish we could,
where the brick is stained with bird shit.
                                                                               -CN