Now, I realise the title of this should actually refer to ‘Wizard-themed stores’. Seeing as most of these fronts have replaced their faded boxes of Lucky Charms with faux carved wands, but I thought the American candy angle was a little more catchy.

I was driving to the gym when this Substack post was born, because I realised what once used to be a sandwich shop when I was at school, is now a brand new pilates reformer studio. Which means four of these have now popped up, all within a 5 minute drive of where I live.

Ironically, I then shelved this post because I was going to try reformer pilates myself. No, not at one of those studios, but with the wonderfully inclusive Ash who hosts her classes at Gym Box, Victoria. If you’d like a separate post on how that went (spoiler alert: I did go back), just let me know.

I didn’t want to come across as judgy, when I too was embracing the grippy sock life. But, in all seriousness, how is this reformer pilates boom sustainable? Especially, when an average class costs around £20.

Fitness booms are nothing new, just look at the rise and fall of SoulCycle. But, what I found so interesting about reformer is, that unlike the others, it really has infiltrated the suburbs.

One of the reasons I drive 25 minutes to my gym is because there is such a lack of options around me. There is one Pure Gym within 5 minutes and that’s it, unless I drive another 15.

It does just feel like this particular supply and demand has been created by social media and the obsession with fitness and female bodies looking a certain way.

Online, reformer pilates is portrayed as this low impact, zero sweat, matcha drinking, perfect ponytail wearing lifestyle.

A fallacy that’s also reflected in a lot of these newly built, beige but beautiful studios.

Oh, and how I could I forget, the matching Alo sets.

It’s this, I think, that draws so many people in. Not seeing the reality of the red faces and shaky legs of the people leaving a class.

However, the reality isn’t that at all. As I know from attending my first two classes and as my friend Chloe, who has hit the incredible milestone of over 200 sessions, tells me.

If you want to see real results, it takes a lot of time, dedication, strength and money, which is why I just can’t see all these new studios staying open. Especially when people realise they’re not going to look like Miley Cyrus after one £60 course of 3 lessons.

In fact, earlier this year, the BBC reported that calls had been made for the industry to be formally regulated, as the boom has led to a shortage of qualified instructors.

Truthfully, I wish there more instructors like Ash, who go out of their way to provide an inclusive space in the notoriously un-inclusive world of reformer. But, maybe that could be one good thing to come out of this boom, perhaps?

In the meantime, at least our local high streets aren’t just filled with barber shops while we wait for the next big fitness craze to take over. Which, Google tells me is Japanese walking…

Since Instagram fully embraced videos to catch up with TikTok, I’ve noticed an increasing amount of people now seem to view themselves as stand up comedians and I’m finding it frankly unbearable.

Yes, humour is subjective. But, I can say with confidence that if these people were put on a standup stage, 99% of them would have to be consoled as they were heckled off.

The problem is, these algorithms don’t care about actual humour. If they did, they wouldn’t be giving unfunny people the kind of reach that’s equivalent to One Night At The Apollo.

TikTok comedy skits blew up in lockdown because it gave us back the everyday banter, we were missing from our lives.

The jokes you might crack with the delivery driver, that lunch break with your work pals where you dissected every single office interaction or that little quip you had with the cashier.

TikTok filled that hole of observant everyday humour. Being stuck in your house really does make you do silly things and that just leant into the charm of how amateur these productions were.

People were posting silly videos because they were bored, not because they wanted to interview the cast of The Odyssey at the next press junket.

Whether they were putting tea towels on their head to pretend to be their mum or wearing ten lanyards around their neck to cosplay as a teacher. It was genuine, improvised humour.

Not only has that charm been completely erased, but so has the originality.

I didn’t know it then, but this Substack post was first born when I reposted a TikTok of ‘POV: You’re watching a film in summer’ earlier this year.

The video showing a TV with nothing but your own humbling reflection, really did tickle me. Especially, as I had a running joke with my friend Lucy P whose paper blinds were the bane of my life.

I know nothing on the Internet is original, but I saw that months and months ago. However, now, I see a new version of it on a weekly basis. Whether it comes up on my FYP or someone sends it to me. It’s the same POV principle, but rather than just sharing someone else’s, everyone needs to make their own version (which, oh, is exactly the same).

It’s like the solar eclipse glasses (yes, I know it was a partial one). Clearly my FYP was trolling me, as I got video after video of people performing a stand up routine about the stress of getting these paper glasses.

These bloody glasses are the biggest industry plant to ever exist. I honestly don’t know what was more annoying: The BBC publishing top stories about people unable to buy them or these made up skits.

If this was TikTok, the joke would be, sneaking out of work to see the eclipse, trying to view it from your bus journey home or asking your neighbour to borrow their colander.

In this rush to stay relevant and keep up with trends, these skits that rely on relatability are being so heavily forced that they completely lose their magic.

Plus, as those original funny creators become ‘influencers’, their reality is very different to the one we used to laugh about together. Same goes for this new wave of adoptees.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had many a ‘skit’ idea myself. My favourite one that will never go into production is: POV: Your friend is drowning but the beach has pebbles.

Much like how AI has made everyone think they are a writer and an artist, Instagram Reels has done the same for comedy.

But, we need to remember that not everyone is funny ha ha and that’s okay.

This post is sponsored by Boots.

In case you missed it, Charlotte Tilbury has officially launched in Boots stores. Meaning you can now stock up on your favourite Pillow Talk lipstick and Magic Cream, as well as paracetamol.

As a beauty editor, my initial reaction of these two iconic British brands coming together, was that it made perfect sense. After all, Boots has become an almost one stop shop for all our favourite brands.

However, after being invited on an overnight stay to celebrate the announcement, I began to understand that there is actually a more important message behind this launch.

I am South London born and bred and often take for granted my access to my favourite brands and while other cities like Manchester have also become mega beauty hubs in their own right, there is still a real lack of accessibility around the country.

Which is why, Boots and Charlotte Tilbury specifically selected 31 stores across the UK - including Derby and the Isle of Wight - for customers who don’t otherwise have access to a counter, where the brand will now be available for the very first time.

As a reader/viewer of my work, I hope you know how important inclusion is to me within the beauty space and accessibility is often such an overlooked part of that.

You shouldn’t have to live in a major city to get to try the brands you love in real life and I truly respect that Charlotte herself is so passionate about not alienating people because of where they live.

I know how elitist some brands are behind the scenes. My job is a beauty journalist and I could list you several companies who won’t send me products, because I don’t meet their select standards.

As a makeup artist, Charlotte has worked with the biggest models and celebrities in the world.

When Zendaya walks the red carpet wearing a full face of your products (can we talk about that London red carpet?!) you can afford to be elitist, but I have never felt that way about CT and talking to the team, it was abundantly clear just how passionate Charlotte is about reaching everyone, no exclusions.

Beauty is such a sensorial experience. You can fall in love with a product based on the texture alone. Boots research proves that, with almost nine in ten customers saying they prefer to see or trial products in person before purchasing.

When Charlotte Tilbury has over 500 products across makeup, skincare and fragrance to choose from, that’s even more important.

As part of this launch, selected Boots will also have bookable one-to-one services led by Charlotte Tilbury artists. They will cover everything from wedding and occasion makeup to express facials.

80% of consumers now say they actively seek out in-store experiences, such as personalised recommendations and product testing ahead of purchasing. Clearly this is something more luxury brands will follow suit in.

Now, despite being an OG CT fan, since the days where Fenwicks was one of the first few stockists, I had never had what is affectionally known as a , ‘Tilbury Transformation’, until my recent trip and let me tell you, it did not disappoint.

I was a little apprehensive at first. I don’t always like having my makeup done and as I’ve got older I tend to wear less, especially during the summer. However, my artist completely understood the base assignment and I gave him free reign everywhere else.

I feel like a photograph doesn’t do justice to how glowy my base was. Truly, my skin has never looked so good and the blusher… well I’m not allowed to tell you any more about that. I may have said too much already. I’m just kicking myself that I didn’t make a comprehensive list of every single product he used.

If you do book an in store makeover, I really recommend having some pointers in mind, but also giving the artists the opportunity to try something you might not normally.

What are you waiting for? Click here to discover all things Charlotte Tilbury and find your nearest participating Boots store.

I was running through various Substack topics to write today and nothing was really inspiring me, until I realised that all the best stories I’ve read this month involve women and their achievements, kindness and strength.

Whether it’s the grandma who saved a secret Pokemon stash for her grandsons for 20 years, Emily Campbell’s unbelievable 163kg lift in the Commonwealth Games or Mackenzie Scott putting her ex-husband Jeff Bezos to shame.

Here’s to the girlies.

1. Mackenzie Scott’s total charity donations hit $26.3 billion

Unlike her former husband Jeff Bezos, Mackenzie Scott has been described as, “The most generous individual philantropist of this century”.

Scott helped build Amazon from the beginning with Bezos and after their divorce in 2019, received $35.6 billion dollars of the company’s stock.

Her latest donation in July of $20 million to a mental health charity for young adults, means she has not only donated an overall total of £26.3 billion, but she has done that in less than 7 years.

In comparison, it is estimated that Bezos has so far given away $4.7 billion dollars in his lifetime.

Despite giving all of that away, due to the kind of extreme wealth I struggle to wrap my head around, Scott is estimated to be richer now than she was in 2019. Which does nothing other than show up how awful all the other billionaires are…

Why have we got to wait till 2030 for your promise of $10 billion to fight climate change, Jeff?

2. Emily Campbell broke records weight lifting 163kg

If you’ve missed the Commonwealth Games this year, it’s not your fault. For some reason, TNT have them and they are behind an HBO Max paywall.

While you’re not missing anything on the commentary side of things (we need Claire Baldwin asap), you are losing out on some incredible sporting moments, including England’s Emily Campbell casually breaking records again.

Now, I know I’ve been flexing my gym gains with you recently. But, here I was thinking a 75kg deadlift is impressive and Campbell’s lifting 163kg from the floor and over her head.

Even the bar was bending.

Campbell is already “The most decorated British weighlifter in modern history” and now she has a brand new gold medal to add.

3. A Grandma in her 80s saved unopened Pokemon cards for 20 years

In what has become one of my favourite Reddit stories of all time, the grandson’s of an 80+ year-old grandma, finally came to collect the Pokemon stash she had been saving them for 20 years.

If you don’t have children or aren’t chronically online, you might not know that Pokemon cards are having a major resurgence. Not just in popularity, but in monetary value, with some vintage 1999 cards selling for between £500 - £1,000.

The grandsons thought it was their own, “Trashed collection left over from when we were super young”, but when they finally went to help her clear her house, they discovered Grandma had been buying extra packs to save for them.

4. A woman used her oven trays to save a flock of ducks

I think you all know me well enough by now to know how much I hate this hot weather, but when it comes to the effects of this extreme heat on animals, I have nothing to complain about.

32-year-old Lucyl Harrison noticed that her village pond had dried up. While a drought was finally called last week, Harrison had begun to panic as she had already noticed the lack of water.

Spotting that the ducks were in search of shade and panting, Harrison started by filling oven trays and saucepans. Quickly running out of room for 50 of the little guys, her neighbours started donating paddling pools and other vessels.

The ducks now wait for her every morning at 6am to fill their pools.

5. A Canadian stunt woman stood in for Matt Damon’s biceps

I’ve already declared The Odyssey as my favourite film of the year so far and that wasn’t even taking into account Matt Damon’s forearms or biceps as best supporting actors.

But, did you know, in the scenes with the Laestrygonians (aka cannibal giants in armour), a 4ft 6 female stunt double actually played Damon, as director Christopher Nolan did not want to use any special effects.

So if you were admiring the arms in those scenes, you really need to give credit to Devyn Dalton and her incredible muscles.

One thing you should know about me, is I’m a bit of a movie geek. In my late teens/early twenties I was full on, film obsessed. HMV’s 3 for £20 hated to see me coming.

That took a back seat until my first ever solo cinema trip to see Saltburn in 2023. Since then, me and my local Everyman have become pretty tight.

Last weekend I went to see The Odyssey and like many others, I have not been able to stop thinking about it since. However, I don’t think I have a take that you haven’t heard or is worthy of another Substack post.

Instead, I thought I’d rank all the new films I’ve seen that have been released in 2026 and let me tell you, it’s a real medley.

From the low budget horror Obsession, to Hugh Jackman’s role as a shepherd in The Sheep Detectives and the film that left me feeling like a horny teenage boy, Wuthering Heights.

My aim is to update this list every time I see a new 2026 film release, so let me know what you think I need to watch next.

1. The Odyssey

Ignore Emily Wilson, because never have I ever walked out of an almost 3 hour film and wanted to immediately rewatch it.

The closest I’ve got to reading Homer’s original work, is Madeline Miller’s Song of Achilles (incredible btw), so I didn’t walk into Purley Way Vue with a list of expectations.

From the start (“Psst, is that Travis Scott?”) I was captivated. It’s like there are several smaller stories in one big picture, so you never get bored and as someone who loves a monster film, I feel like I got multiple surprise treats.

The next day, I was on such a hype that I watched Troy to kind of scratch the itch. This is a film I can directly quote from, after having bought a pirate copy from Camden market 20+ years ago.

However, it was re-watching Troy, post The Odyssey, that made me appreciate the latter even more.

In comparison, Troy felt so camp and theatre like. The Shakespearian language and accents, the rubber helmets, it feels like a Lawrence of Arabia where you know it’s people playing dress up.

The Odyssey feels real, which I personally think comes down to the decision to use everyday modern language, along with the monumental efforts to do everything by hand instead of digital trickery.

I will definitely see it again at the cinema and I also love that it gives me hope for the future of cinema and that maybe everyone doesn’t have Chat GPT brain rot.

2. Wuthering Heights

This film did something to me. It stirred this deeply suppressed longing within and what’s not to like about coming out of the cinema a bit horny.

I was so excited for Wuthering Heights because director Emerald Fennell’s Saltburn is what reignited my love of films after a long old hiatus.

I don’t think it’s as clever as Saltburn, but it’s so visually beautiful that it almost doesn’t need to be.

Again, like The Odyssey, I went in with no expectations in regards to the book. I may have read it at school, but I have zero recollection of it. Huge apologies to Emily Brontë for that.

Margot’s costumes, makeup and hair in the film are just mesmerising to watch, along with the interiors.

Then of course there’s Jacob Elordi. He is a magnificently beautiful man and although my friend Lucy P could not stop criticising his accent, I thought he played the part perfectly.

Side note, if you want to talk bad accents, skip to my Supergirl review.

3. Obsession

Truthfully, I think I need to watch Obsession again, this time without trying to constantly second guess the ending.

Obsession is the small budget horror that reignited the genre and even has the likes of Christopher Nolan talking.

In the briefest of summaries, our main man, Bear goes to a crystal/magic shop and buys something called a ‘One Wish Willow’. He makes a wish that his friend Nikki falls in love with him and low and behold she becomes obsessed.

What I want you to know and I don’t think it’s a spoiler, is that there isn’t a twist. I went with my friend Chloe and it was her second watch. She kept saying how she had read about it and wanted to look out for certain things, but didn’t want to spoil it for me.

However, I took that as, guess the twist. Which really was a big waste of time.

I love a horror, but I do get scared and I have to tread this fine line with myself. Obsession does have some very haunting moments that do come to mind when you’re laying in bed at night, but the supernatural element always gives me a bit more reassurance that I’m going to be okay.

I plan to rewatch this as it’s now out on streaming I believe and if you love horrors and are sick of the remakes, you should too.

4. Minions & Monsters

Absolute lol that Minions & Monsters is in my top 5, but hey, I’m almost 40 and boomers love a Minion meme.

You’ll notice there’s a few younger films in this list, that’s because my niece and nephew (especially my nephew) love going to the cinema - specifically an Everyman - almost more than me.

This couldn’t be more different to The Super Mario Galaxy Movie (which is way further down this list), in the sense that there is a plot, a backstory and plenty of laughs for both adults and children.

I honestly think there is something that happens to you when you get older that you start to find Minions funny. Maybe I’ll take up gardening next…

Given that this is the 7th movie in The Despicable Me franchise. They could have called it in, like Mario Galaxy, but I really feel they didn’t.

We follow two Minions in particular, James and Henry as they travel the world looking to serve their “Big boss” aka evil villain. Cue lots of cartoon style fast-paced jokes.

Somehow they end up in Hollywood and become big time movie stars during the silent film era. However, when sound is added and the lil’ yellow guys can’t say their lines, they get run out of town.

This is how James and Henry end up conjuring up that little green alien to be the star of their own film and let me tell you, he is just as funny as his friends in blue dungarees.

5. Thrash

You know I love a shark film/animal attack film. I’ve done an entire Substack post on my favourites here, but Thrash would not make that cut.

First of all, Phoebe Dynevor needs to get out of her Netflix contract because between this and Anniversary, it’s not looking good.

Thrash has some good things going for it, in the sense that the shark attacks feel incredibly realistic and there are some great jump scares, but it fails due to its beyond lazy writing.

Dynevor plays a pregnant woman who is trapped in her car as flood waters rise. An agoraphobic character manages to free her and get her into the top floor of her house before she becomes shark bait. How she does that? We don’t know because we only see half the escape and aren’t expected to question the rest. The same goes for her labour. For her first child, this woman had the easiest quickest birth known to man.

Call me grumpy, but when it comes to shark films I want realism.

6. The Sheep Detectives

This was such a hit with my niece and nephew that Callum told my sister it was one of the best films he’s ever seen.

Yeah… my review is not quite that. But my love for that little winter lamb, really did save it.

Hugh Jackman is a shepherd who somehow makes a living rearing about 10 sheep. He loves to read to his flock, particularly detective novels… Honestly, it’s at this point where I wonder why I don’t try writing a screenplay?

Hugh gets murdered pretty early on and his sheep set out to solve the case.

I’d say this is a cross between say a Hot Fuzz with the twee and completely unrealistic English village antics and Babe Pig in the City for the animal high jinks.

Oh, and randomly, Claire from The Bear is in it.

7. Supergirl

I wasn’t actually meant to see Supergirl, but a road closure and nightmare diversion meant we missed our Toy Story 5 screening and the lovely staff at Everyman Oxted, said we could watch Supergirl instead.

Part of me doesn’t want to give it a negative review because of how good Milly Alcock is as Supergirl. She is by far the best thing about the film and in a completely ridiculous plot, manages to still feel very believable.

The second best thing was her dog, Krypto. Who would have been far better if he was real and not god damn CGI.

The rest? Garbage. At only 14 years old, I don’t want to be too harsh on supporting actress Eve Ridley. But her Newcastle/American accent was so jarring, I don’t know how she was cast.

Ridiculous plot aside, it was the little things that cheapened this film for me. Like the alien extras whose makeup, hair and costumes were almost laughable. Not to mention when Supergirl finally puts on her uniform and flies.

Alcock’s confidently cool Kara Zor-El, immediately becomes cringey, in a way that I didn’t feel with Superman.

One final note, the decision to slow-mo one of the fight scenes to a John Lewis Version of The Middle by Jimmy Eats World was so try hard it hurt.

8. GOAT

GOAT was a film my nephew Callum wanted to see and I have never heard him mention it since, which says a lot.

For me, this was one of those films that did nothing but drag due to poor characters and a plot you’ve seen a thousand times before.

Stranger Things actor Caleb McLaughlin does do a great job at voicing Will, the goat who wants to play Roarball (basketball on steroids), but is considered too small.

However, I wished I could fast forward the entire middle section of Will’s struggle, knowing full well he would inevitably become the best Roarball player of all time.

It’s so obvious, it doesn’t even need a spoiler warning.

9. The Super Mario Galaxy Movie

I can’t tell you how disappointed I was in this movie, especially as an absolute Nintendo/Super Mario geek and following how great the first film was.

There is no plot. Characters have zero development or motive and the only explanation for Bowser Jr kidnapping princesses is because that’s what his dad used to do.

The film dragged so much until the ending. Honestly, it has the most abrupt finish of anything I’ve ever seen. You’re literally left thinking, “Is that it?”.

Feels like the kind of film that has been written by AI.

10. Apex

I have tried to finish Netflix’s Apex on two occasions and just haven’t been able to get through it.

This might be me completely overthinking it, but one of the main things I struggled with, was Charlize Theron being hunted down by Taron Ergerton with a crossbow.

In 2014 in the UK, three women: Carol, Hannah and Louise Hunt were killed by Louise’s former partner, who used a crossbow. Honestly, it just felt kind of wrong from the off for me.

Admittedly I haven’t finished the film, but the plot is one I’ve seen a million times. Theron is a super independent woman who has been through trauma. I know she’s going to survive. It’s almost a skip to the end type situation.

My final moan, is a common theme in films right now, much like that Supergirl scene. When Egerton explains to Theron that he is going to hunt her, we get a musical interlude of Go by The Chemical Brothers.

These moments just feel so set up for TikTok virality and have become such a cliché with modern films.

I’m currently watching the 2026 World Cup final and we are 89 minutes in and neither Spain nor Argentina has scored.

“Lowkey hope it goes to penalties,” I’m scrolling through the group chat and I’ve never seen it move so fast at 10.11pm on a Sunday night. “Omg yes red card to Argentina,” I reply, before swiping up and along to check my Instagram DMs.

“I want,” my friend Vicki has replied to a reel I shared of a kawaii style keyring of Erling Haaland and Jude Bellingham holding a love heart. “I’ve emailed them, but they’re based in Peru,” I respond.

I have never known a World Cup to be this fun and I’m convinced it’s because this is the year, the girlies have fully got behind it.

Internet caveat here due to the lack of nuance online: Obviously, women have watched and supported football long before this summer, I’m talking about the whimsical, girly humour that has been so embraced online and therefore reached our IRL interactions.

With a Dad who is a lifelong Crystal Palace fan and a brother who is a coach, football has always been part of my life, but in a quite serious and stressful way.

Truthfully, I have genuinely worried that pre-2025, supporting Palace was dangerous for my Dad’s heart.

Whenever I make my 4, 4, 2 joke, even my mum gets annoyed. “Don’t pretend you know about football, Laura”.

I’m not, Jan. I’m having a little joke. Admittedly, I could do with some new material.

That kind of, ‘not a real fan’ mentality, combined with the association of football fans and ‘get your tits out’ lad culture, makes being a casual observer of the sport kind of impossible.

But then two things happened. The first being, the real life version of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire started aka the World Cup, then, the wider world got introduced to Erling Haaland. An incredibly talented footballer, who is as good at contributing to Internet meme culture as he is at scoring goals.

Forbes reports that before the 2026 World Cup, Haaland had around 40 million Instagram followers, one month later he’s at 72 million.

Haaland’s humour and self-deprecation is his biggest appeal. It’s the difference between the male and female gaze. We don’t like it when you peacock around with your Louis Vuitton bag. We’d much prefer it, in fact, if you had an ironic taxidermy raccoon instead.

Not that Haaland doesn’t have a ridiculous Hermes Birkin bag collection, however.

Haaland’s visibility has unlocked a different side of football for the people/girlies who would not normally have access to it.

You start off liking a video of Haaland scaring himself while he’s eating or stumbling across that snapchat selfie where someone asks if he’s a boy or girl and he replies, he’s “mixed”.

Then, you discover the Haaland Man City chant and find yourself singing it repeatedly, while trying to order his sold-out hair ties and asking 8-year-old boys if they have any Panini sticker swaps.

This is your entry way into the wider world of football. Now you’re watching The Overlap podcast and agreeing with everything Roy Keane says, while calling for Dan Burn to be brought on mid-match and booing whenever Fifa chairman Gianni Infantino comes on screen.

You’re even having football watch parties with your friends. Twice in one week, can you believe?

That’s before we even get into the “Just kiss” TikToks of the girlies who observed the intimate body language between players and turned it into something almost homoerotic.

But it’s not all Heated Rivalry. The cute friendship edits between Bellingham and Haaland (which inspired that keyring I desperately want), feel like such a tonic in a time when we have had nothing but relentless toxic masculinity on our timelines.

Just look at the reactions from the general public when England lose. The rivalries between teams, the ridiculous amounts of money top players are paid, the racism, football needs a bit of whimsy and us girlies brought it in droves.

I’m pleased to report that in the time it’s taken me to write this, Spain have won and I’m not going to lie, I feel kind of sad it’s all over.

The irony of corrupt Fifa and Donald Trump hosting a (terrible) half time show all about love and unity was not lost on me. Neither was it lost on my Dad. As Trump was congratulating Spain on their win, Mick pointed out his recent comments on wanting to cut all trade with the country…

However, I do think two different groups did find some much-needed unity thanks to the World Cup.

I hate to think of what a ‘laddish’ cisgender hetrosexual man’s algorithm could look like, but for the first time, there’s actually going to be similarities between them and the girlies.

The question is, can we take our newfound football fan careers into the new season?

I’ve spoken before about my fascination with maximising my productivity (self-help style) and my complete inability to be able to achieve it.

As well as having all the good intentions and stationary supplies, I also have a special interest in motivational montages from movies and tv shows.

I swear there was a period where every Sunday (because that’s always the day you plan to change your life, right?) I would put on Legally Blonde, purely for Elle’s Harvard studying montage with the orange Mac iBook. Sometimes, I’d even just listen to the song (Watch Me Shine by Joanna Paccitti, FYI).

Some of you will work to music and don’t get me wrong, if I need to write a feature, I’m going straight to YouTube for 3 hours of Lord of the Rings, Sound of the Shire.

But, more often than not, I will put on an episode or a movie that either has a motivational character arc or involves someone going to some kind of massive public library to photocopy lots of things.

These are some of my favourites, I would love to hear yours in the comments.

1. The Bear season 2 episode 7: Forks

Now, I know some people find The Bear completely overstimulating, so the idea of it being a comfort show to me, might take a bit of wrapping your head around.

None the less it is one of my most rewatched series and I find the entire mentality of it super motivating. However, one episode in particular is a stand out.

At the beginning of The Bear, Richie is a stubborn, bitter man who is stuck in his ways and actively fights all change.

Richie works at The Beef which was his best friend’s sandwich shop. However, when he dies, his Michelin star brother takes over and tries to turn it into a proper restaurant, which Richie fights every step of the way.

Until that is, his big arc in season 2 episode 7. Richie is sent to the ultimate fine dining restaurant for what is effectively work experience.

He has to arrive at 6am every day to polish forks and naturally, hates it. Until, he starts to get to know the other staff there and hears their stories of how the service they give, enriches their own lives. Which is why they are so dedicated to the smallest details, like polishing cutlery.

From then on, Richie is a changed man. He wakes up early, cleans his apartment, wears a suit to work, gives passionate empowering speeches to his team to motivate them and is determined to go out of his way to give every customer exceptional service.

I love that it is such a huge character change and he never reverts back, but somehow it feels so genuine.

I actually printed off a picture of Richie and stuck it to the front of my notebook, in the hopes it might rub off on me.

Don’t ask how that’s going…

2. Spotlight

I am a sucker for an investigative reporter based film, especially if it’s set in a newsroom.

Spotlight is about The Boston Globe’s investigation into the cover up of child sexual abuse by the Catholic church.

Yeah, it’s a heavy topic, but bear with.

Spotlight is actually the name for the investigative team at the paper, who usually pick their own assignments and work in complete secrecy from their colleagues.

I think because so much of what I do is digital, it doesn’t feel as satisfying as say, crossing something off a physical list or maybe I just get a kick out of seeing desks with stacks of paper and journalists taking frantic notes with actual pens.

The lengths they got to, to get these stories and hold these people to justice is beyond admirable. Plus, there’s the bonus of seeing someone going through the archives, which, of course, makes me want to renew my library card.

3. The Last Dance

The Last Dance is a Netflix documentary about the Chicago Bulls in the ‘90s and the lengths Michael Jordan and his teammates went to, in order to win their 97/98 season.

Trust me, you’ll be obsessed with the soundtrack, the fashion and Dennis Rodman, but you’ll also want to somehow emulate the drive of Michael Jordan.

The guy never took a day off. He was obsessed with winning, to the point he played an entire game despite having severe food poisoning.

I’m not saying I would like to be on a team with him, but the way he would not accept anything less than perfection from his teammates, is fascinating to watch and analyse.

If Michael can do 44 minutes running around a basketball court and make 38 points with his bottom on the blink, why can’t I clear my inbox?

4. Legally Blonde: Elle’s study montage

“I’ll show you how valuable Elle Woods can be,” is a quote that lives rent free in my head.

We all know the scene where she queues up in her Playboy bunny costume to buy her iBook, after her ex doubted her ability to pass Harvard law school.

It genuinely makes me want to have a fake project to study for or at least a textbook to highlight. There is just something about watching Elle study and start answering all the questions in her lectures that makes you want to lock the fuck in.

As much as I love the makeover montages from the films of that era, Elle’s was always the best because it wasn’t about making herself prettier, it was about working hard on something you’re passionate about and bettering yourself in the process.

5. Erin Brockovich

Just looking at this picture of Julia Roberts, makes me want to rewatch Erin Brockovich immediately. Maybe that will be my background Monday motivation.

If you didn’t know, the film is based on the true story of Erin and her legal fight for residents impacted by contaminated water.

I love Julia in this film and the lengths she has to go to as a single mum of 3, really put things into perspective.

Erin is super ballsy, even before she starts her legal case, she essentially forces someone to employ her, by just turning up at their office. Admittedly, probably gonna have a higher success rating doing that if you look like Julia Roberts.

It really is the ultimate girl boss movie and will make you fight for what you believe in.

Oh, and I remember her biker boyfriend being hot. But don’t quote me on that because I can’t remember if he sticks around!

I have an important update and one that I am incredibly happy about. Cosmopolitan UK emailed me today to inform that their podcast is on hold and they will no longer be using Can We Discuss? With Cosmopolitan.

The former name is mentioned in the print edition of their July magazine, as it had already gone to print. However, going forward, Can We Discuss will no longer be used by Cosmo.

I am very grateful to Cosmo and Hearst for making the decision, but I am even more thankful to all of you, who have engaged, supported, shared, reached out and subscribed.

It’s an honour and a privilege to have such a loyal audience and I cannot thank you all enough.

Last week I got an email from my former editor-in-chief at Cosmopolitan, to say they were starting a new podcast with an “almost identical name” to my Substack.

For the almost 5,000 of you that are subscribed, you will know that my Substack that I started in 2023 is called Can We Discuss. The limited company that I incorporated in 2022 is also called Can We Discuss.

Cosmopolitan’s new podcast name is Can We Discuss? With Cosmopolitan.

Not only did I used to work at Cosmopolitan for over 6 years, I also used to co-host their previous podcast: All the Way With.

Cosmopolitan claim it was no longer feasible to change the name and that they were unaware of my use of it. I was also informed that their podcast would cover “more specifically dating”.

I pushed back, pointing out the lack of simple due diligence and the fact that a number of current Cosmopolitan employees are signed up to my Substack and also follow me on social media where I continue my Can We Discuss franchise.

Cosmopolitan reiterated their stance that it was “an unfortunate coincidence” and further confirmed that Can We Discuss? With Cosmopolitan would be going ahead and would clearly be a separate product to my brand.

No one from Hearst has responded to my subsequent emails.

Despite what I had been told about their proposed podcast topic, I found a Can We Discuss? With Cosmopolitan page on Podchaser.com. This describes Cosmopolitan’s podcast as not just a dating one but, “A weekly society, culture and relationships podcast”. Where they “pose one big chaotic, culturally-relevant question and unpack it”

All of these topics are covered on my Substack. In fact, my bio reads, “Welcome to the open book that is Can We Discuss; A safe space to share opinions on hot topics in life and culture, alongside relatable personal stories and experiences”.

I sought legal advice, due to my strong belief that Cosmopolitan’s use of the name is likely to cause confusion with my already established brand – particularly given that I am a former Cosmopolitan employee and a former Cosmopolitan podcast host.

However, I simply cannot afford the legal costs for this kind of David vs Goliath battle.

Since leaving Cosmopolitan in 2021, I have worked tirelessly to establish a freelance career for myself. Can We Discuss is not just a name to me, it is a brand that I have worked so hard to build.

I have previously written on my Substack about how working under strong women at Cosmopolitan shaped who I am today. However, their decision to proceed with this name, knowing my use and objections, is, in my opinion, the opposite of their mission to empower young women to succeed in life.

This whole situation is deeply upsetting and I have only made the decision to go public as a last attempt to appeal to Cosmopolitan to change their name.

Now more than ever, I appreciate each and every one of you that has subscribed to Can We Discuss.

I have been craving a lazy weekend and I finally got one, which meant I spent Saturday to Sunday binge watching The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders (TDCC) on Netflix.

Although season 3 has just launched, I hadn’t seen a single episode before and in these past two days I have quite literally gone from zero to full blown pom pom shaking, ‘Thunder’ kicking mega fan.

If you’re a newbie like I was last week, the show follows the process of auditioning and training for The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleading team. Only 36 women make the cut and the process is both gruelling and shocking at times.

I have never actually watched Dance Moms. I’ve just seen the JoJo Siwa and Abby Lee Miller memes, but I feel TDCC is very similar in terms of how the women are critiqued on everything from the colour of their hair to the size of their shoulders.

The women making the decisions are former TDCC cheerleaders themselves and at times, listening to Kelli Finglass (director of TDCC) and Judy Trammell (head choreographer) I almost had to stop watching, I felt so enraged.

Here are some of the most blatant hypocrisies I notes.

“Are you fuelling yourself?”

A common criticism of Kelli and Judy when a girl appears lethargic, is to ask them if they are fuelling themselves with enough food. On its own, this feels quite progressive in the notoriously restrictive dance world.

However, when the pair are critiquing the girls, their first feedback always tends to be something negative to do with their appearance. “She’s fuller in the face than last year”, was one that comment that sticks in my mind. Not to mention that if they gain weight, the cheerleaders aren’t allowed to alter their uniform.

Is it any wonder that several women on the team have spoken about their struggles with eating disorders?

Sophy Laufer’s assault

In one episode, cheerleader Sophy is touched inappropriately by a male cameraman. I was honestly blown away by the maturity and professionalism shown by her.

Not only did Sophy report it to the police and state she wanted to press charges, but she got straight back out there and carried on dancing.

The whole incident was handled so well, it was a real changing moment for me. Despite the misogyny, these women know their rights and are supported by management in enforcing them. “Just because we wear this uniform, doesn’t make us an object”, says Jada.

However, as her teammates consoled her and the episode ended, Reece says, “We’re daughters. We’re sisters. We’re someone’s little girl” and I outwardly sighed at how the patriarchy remains so deeply entrenched.

Performative politeness

There is something slightly creepy (from a British perspective) of watching these women receive constant criticism - despite training for hours a day - and only being allowed to respond, “Yes, M’am”.

Not to mention that the constant gushing of how much they love their team mates (who they just met) feels a little OTT.

Several online publications state that one of the rules as a TDCC cheerleader, is, “Give every living creature a smile”.

I often feel too British for this show. But, one scene with Kelli, did give me a change of heart.

After their coach driver has a stroke and not all the girls sign his get well card, Kelli’s annoyance, telling them you’re better than this, felt like one of the most genuine moments in the show.

Of course the girls came through and watching their driver tear up when they surprised him at the hospital is maybe the one time I approve of a Kelli telling off.

God’s plan

I don’t know if it’s an American thing, but if God was an intertwined in everyone’s minutia as TDCC think he is, we’ll never get world peace.

Whenever a girl gets their hope and dreams crushed by Kelli and Judy, they always seem to muster a, ‘God has better plans for me’ line, through their tears.

Except, Kelli’s god here. We literally just heard her say you didn’t make the cut because you look too old/too short/too fat (delete as applicable).

In that moment I really wished for some of the girls to fight back, but I have to say I take my hat off to the ones who get cut and spend an entire year training for the next try outs.

Their dedication is nothing short of inspiring and honestly, if faith helps them get there, more power to them.

The lack of confidence

Apart from my obvious inability to lift my leg to knee height, let alone head, I have no doubt that I lack the mental strength to join TDCC.

They are judged on every tiny detail, even down to a facial expression when they’re performing a jump split. Kelli and Judy don’t miss a trick, “Your hair’s darker”, “Did you get lip filler?”, “You’re gonna need a medium in those shorts”. I simply cannot imagine how on edge I would be, simply being in the same room as them.

Which is why, I massively eye roll when their feedback is that a cheerleader is “too in their head” or lacking confidence in some way.

However, as much as I struggle with tough love. I do wonder if it’s more negligent to put someone on a world stage knowing they struggle with intense criticism.

The pay

My fellow journalists could definitely relate to some of the conversations around pay in season 2 of the show.

Infamously low paid, Google tells me the cheerleaders were getting $500 for every game (where they dance for 3 hours straight) and an hourly rate of $15 for daily rehearsals.

Compare that to the salary of their football team, who don’t have their own Netflix show and something’s not adding up.

The athleticism that these women have, is unbelievable. I would love to see a comparison of their training alongside the actual football team themselves.

Judy in particular seems to not like the conversation of increasing pay, arguing it was the same when she cheered… back in 1980.

I can’t bear people that refuse to break a cycle and it’s even more frustrating when they themselves acknowledge that TDCC are known worldwide and bring in revenue for the club.

Are there any hypocrisies you think I missed out?

It’s been just over two months since I started my strength training journey and on a otherwise uneventful Monday, I finally achieved something I previously thought would never be possible.

When I started at Strength & Bloom, I had not done any coached exercising since Covid times when my beloved PT Hannah Lewin moved to Somerset.

To say I was nervous to start again, is an understatement. In truth, I was dreading that first session in April, due to a combination of the fear of the unexpected and the knowledge my fitness levels were at an all time low.

Clearly it wasn’t all that bad and from my first small group training session with Savannah, I got the lifting bug.

I have always really admired strong women and unlike the current extreme lean body preference, I think muscular women are damn sexy. Hello, Rhea Ripley anyone?

I need a lot more time than 60 days before I’m anywhere near the SS (strong sexy) range. I’m always the sweatiest, reddest person in the gym in every single session, guaranteed.

However, although I haven’t noticed any aesthetic changes in my body, there have been other transformations.

From tiny things like knowing how to navigate my way around the gym, loading up my own barbell and securing clamps or feeling brave enough to book on with other trainers like Laura and Farrah, who I love just as much as Savannah.

To the bigger challenges, like watching my strength increase and getting a PB with a 65kg bench press and dead lift. But, there was one I would never have thought possible when I started back in April.

For most of you reading this, it would be easy. It’s an assisted pull up where rather than just hanging from the top of the rig, you stand on a resistance band and pull yourself up.

The first time this was demonstrated in session, I laughed to myself and just said I couldn’t do it. I honestly, didn’t even think an explanation was necessary and the supportive trainers gave me an alternative move with some TRX bands.

The next time it came up again, Laura took advantage of my people pleasing weakness and gently encouraged me to try it.

What I hadn’t told Laura at this point was, it wasn’t just putting my entire body weight on a fabric band I was worried about, it was stepping onto the bench to get up there in the first place.

I honestly have so much respect for anyone who does box squats because I truly have no idea how you do it, just stepping up to that height feels impossible to me.

Whether it’s a mental block, whether it’s a weakness, lifting my leg onto that bench is comparable to Neil Armstrong walking on the moon to me.

Poor Laura didn’t show it, but surely regretted her decision as I sweated, cried and attempted to crawl (it really was a scramble). All while she offered to hold my hands, taking on the role of therapist as well as personal trainer.

Eventually I made it up onto the bench and it felt so monumental that I announced it to the room of women who cheered me on, regardless of the fact I hadn’t even completed the exercise.

After that, at least once a week, I’d see pull ups on the timetable and know that Laura would make me practice just the stepping on the bench part.

Some days I’d almost eye roll at the suggestion, but then it became this thing I wanted to do for her and every time I failed, I felt like the celebrity contestant on Strictly Come Dancing who messed up the dance for their pro.

I don’t know why, but Laura really believed I could do it and slowly, getting up on the bench became slightly less of a struggle, to the point I was attempting the actual move I was meant to be doing and stepping one foot out on the band.

Farrah was my coach this Monday and once again, I saw pull ups on the board.

Like Laura, she appeared very confident in my ability, but this time, not only to step onto the bench, but to step both feet onto that fabric band.

I can’t tell you how long I stood up on that bench for. I do know it was enough time for the rest of the class to complete all of their reps (lol).

One foot was on the bench, one was on the band and all I had to do was lift my foot, like Uma Therman in Kill Bill urging herself to wiggle her big toe back to life.

I kept edging closer and closer, all the while shouting at myself in my head in the style of Mark from Peep Show. Eventually, with a pair of gloves (because my hands were so sweaty), I did it.

There I was, standing on the fabric band as everyone cheered - something that two months ago felt impossible.

We’ll gloss over the fact that there wasn’t an actual pull up after that and instead focus on what you can achieve when others believe and support you.

My initial reaction all those weeks ago, was to not even consider attempting it. But, knowing someone else thought it was possible and after consistently working out twice and now three times a week, I finally did it and I don’t know if you can tell, but I’m buzzing about it.

A huge thank you to all the ladies at Strength & Bloom and of course Emma, the founder, for bugging me enough to make me sign up in the first place.

Now I just have to conquer the actual pull up part…

I have never bought underwear off TikTok shop, yet every single time I open the app, the first thing I see is a woman, aggressively pinging her straps, whilst shouting about “THE VIRAL JELLY BRA”.

It’s got to the point where I’m so sick of seeing these women, that I’ve held my finger down on the screen and tapped ‘Not interested’ in the hopes that this would stop them coming up.

When faced with the question of why, I’ve tried them all. ‘Too repetitive’, ‘Too many ads’. I’ve even tapped ‘Too sexual’ when I’ve felt like the video hook is borderline inappropriate.

It doesn’t matter however, because they just keep coming. Along with videos trying to sell me portable pressure washers, fans, the Shark BlastBoss (that one is almost working), gym shorts, back massagers and every other bit of tat you can imagine.

TikTok democratised the influencer space. Suddenly anyone could go viral, you didn’t even need to have built a following to do so.

That hasn’t stopped the distain people have towards influencers, with most people quick to tell you they lie and can’t be trusted.

However, TikTok has shown me that it’s not influencers who have no morals, it’s actually the general public.

There is no integrity, no critical commentary when a commission is to be made. One woman I came across was selling incontinence pads with the same pressure as a cars salesperson.

They shout through the screen, encouraging you to buy now as the price has never been lower. In fact, it’s so low, they start by telling us, “Someone’s gonna get fired for this”. A few scrolls later, a different person pops up, selling the exact same thing with the exact same messaging.

And no, no jobs were lost that day or the next.

Take the Shark BlastBoss as I mentioned earlier. From what I’ve seen, it works like the opposite of a vacuum cleaner. Rather than sucking things up, it blows them away. It also comes in pink, which is definitely what is swaying me.

Now, I can see the appeal of this, but when I try and find an earnest review, I just end up with someone blasting a load of neatly places leaves off their patio.

No one has a different approach and it seems like no matter what they’re selling, the lines are the same. Here is a product that I would actively be in the market to buy, if someone could be bothered to actually give it a proper review.

What’s even more off putting is that the same people raving about the BlastBoss one day, are shouting to buy the Shark ChillPill the next.

The jelly bra pushers have moved onto shorts and instead of boobs, they are now wobbling their thighs at me… for what reason, I’m not entirely sure. It’s probably a ‘hook’ to grab my attention. Instead, I see it as a call to action to scroll on by.

I totally understand the appeal of making some extra income on TikTok shop and I wouldn’t begrudge anyone for that, if they were being honest and not using the sales tactics of Danny DeVito in Matilda.

So, yes, while I do agree some influencers lie and promote products they don’t use or believe in, it seems to me that most people would do the same given the opportunity.

Somewhere inbetween organising an epic charity beauty sale, solo dog sitting and this god awful heatwave, I have built up a lot of video ideas I want to film, but have yet to get round to it.

Until then, I wanted to share on my Substack, some of the beauty products I have been loving and am yet to update you on…

ILLIYOON Ceramide Ato Concentrate Cream

You know I have been loving discovering more and more Korean beauty brands, but, I won’t lie, it can get really overwhelming.

Which is why, this nondescript baby blue and white bottle, kept getting overlooked on my part, despite being sent it multiple times.

Finally, I was scrolling TikTok and my favourite Korean grandma was sharing her skincare routine. Honestly, I am equally fascinated and amazed, whenever her diet/exercise routines pop up. Especially her dog’s day in the life, because his gut microbiome must be better than any human’s.

Aside from her frozen flannel compressions (which I also need to start implementing), her daughter mentioned a moisturiser her mum has been using for years and despite calling it nondescript, I immediately recognised the blue and white bottle.

After trawling through my beauty cupboard of cast offs I found it and it truly was love on the first application. To the point I dug out another tube to give to my friend Chef (we both love a good skin barrier-loving cream).

In terms of moisturisers, this is the best you can get. Packed with ceramides, richly moisturising not heavy and all for such an affordable price. I would recommend it for all ages.

£9.99 from Boots

Kérastase Gloss Absolute Shampoo

You may have noticed that I’m pretty boring with my haircare routine, especially when it comes to shampoos. Which is why Necessaire’s The Shampoo and Color Wow’s Colour Security come up in my empties again and again.

Until trying this, I hadn’t used Kérastase in years and I was slightly concerned - as a greasy haired gal - that this might weigh my hair down.

Turns out, I should have been more worried about having a new addiction to a £30 shampoo.

Everything about this is a delight. It feels so nice on your hair whilst washing it (I always double cleanse my hair and if a shampoo leaves me feeling knotty, it’s an immediate no) and I just really love how my hair looks when I use it.

I’ve just finished my second bottle and am already eyeing up buying a massive 500ml refill, which is a commitment you only make when you truly love something.

£30.50 from Look Fantastic (currently on offer for £22.88)

CeraVe Invisible Hydrating Sunscreen SPF50

Now, I have mentioned this one on my Instagram stories, but I feel it really needs some words behind why I love it so much.

Applying body SPF is a pain in the arse, which is why I tend to always go for a spray. CeraVe’s new body SPFs however, have fully converted me to a cream that I’m more than happy to rub in and that’s a statement in itself.

It sinks in easily, it’s not oily or greasy and it strikes the balance between feeling hydrating but allowing you to forget you’re wearing it. Plus it doesn’t pill when you reapply.

I finished my first tube last weekend at the caravan and I noticed several of my family members helping themselves to it at my Great Uncle’s birthday weekend a few weeks ago. Clearly it’s a crowd pleaser.

Plus, I trust CeraVe implicitly and would feel safe applying this on children as well as adults.

£14 from Cult Beauty

Refy Skin Base Skin Tint

I need to do a video on this and take this as my promise that I will, but until then, I’m long overdue singing the praises of Refy’s addition to the skin tint world.

Earlier this year there were a lot of foundation launches. I actually started a video reviewing them all, but panned it after realising they were all matte, high coverage and I don’t like either.

When I finally got round to trying this, it felt like a breath of fresh air. It’s everything I love in a skin tint. Just enough coverage, doesn’t leave you feeling like you’re wearing anything and leaves behind a natural glow that gets you all the compliments.

Now, I respect Refy for always trying something new when it comes to their packaging, but I don’t think it always works out, i.e. their mascara.

The built in palette on this skin tint however, is both clever and helpful. I normally pump my base onto the back of my hand, but you don’t always want to do that if you’re in a pinch.

With this, I can pump it directly into the palette and sweep it straight off with my foundation brush.

Huge fan and for reference, I wear the shade 140N.

£30 from Space NK

Jo Malone Wood Sage & Sea Salt

Not a new product, but a reconnection to an old favourite.

I’ve been struggling with perfume for two reasons. One because I am all out of my favourite DedCool and two, because a cold earlier this year left me with a searing head pain anytime I tried to so much as sniff a new launch.

Thankfully, that seems to have finally abated and led to me remembering how much I love this coastal scent by Jo Malone.

It’s so fresh and invigorating and as someone who loves a beachy scent, I adore this uniquely English take on a summer perfume.

I have been spraying liberally and just thinking about my upcoming family Cornwall break.

£56 from Cult Beauty

In a lot of ways, I’m a terrible beauty journalist.

You’d be horrified with the amount of free blow drys and facials I turn down, because I’m just not particularly interested in the treatment side of the industry.

The exceptions to that rule would be a facial from Michaella Bolder (her technique is incredible), a pedicure (my go-to spot is Townhouse) and a full body massage from time to time.

Further proof I’m doing it all wrong, is that the only regular appointments I keep, I pay for myself.

They are my hair with Sarah Black at Arkive by Adam Reed and my nails with Lisa, an independent nail artist who is based at The Bohemians salon in Deptford.

As a previous chronic nail biter, manicures are still a fairly new concept to me, despite never being without one for the past 5(ish) years.

My entire Instagram explore page is nothing but nail art designs, I have a dedicated Pinterest board for inspiration and as soon as I’ve had a fresh set, I’m already planning my next.

To me it’s an art form and I love that I can turn a film/painting/piece of jewellery, into a design that lives on my fingertips.

While other beauty insiders indulge in the treatment side of things, nail art isn’t that popular with them. In fact, it reminds me of when I started at Cosmopolitan and was shocked to find the beauty director of Red, didn’t wear a stitch of makeup.

There’s a few other beauty journalists I know who love a good design, but we are definitely in the minority amongst a sea of sheer pink, squared off natural nail enthusiasts.

Which is why the recent headlines and social media posts declaring, ‘Bare nails are the new status symbol’, bother me so much.

One of the questions I always get with my nails is, ‘How long does that take?’ or ‘How much do they cost?’. Two things no one would think to ask the natural nail girlies.

For reference, my nails these days take 3ish hours and cost me between £110 and £140. I know a lot of you will gawk at that price, but for a talented London nail tech, doing intricate hand-painted art, you’re not going to get a £30 set.

What might surprise you, is the cost of these ‘natural’ manicures that are being touted as superior and used as reference pictures in recent articles.

I know of London nail techs who charge upwards of £300 to £400 for nails that look like they’ve got nothing on them.

Don’t get me wrong, I do love the look of a clean nail, but at the same time, it feels like that classism/north south divide. You know how the Liverpool girlies will proudly go out in their rollers, but in London, it’s more chic to pretend you made zero effort.

Not to mention that nail art was first adopted by Black women and is deeply rooted in Black culture.

Like most beauty trends, if you look beneath the surface, the meaning is quite different. It’s not naturally bare nails that are considered a status symbol. It’s luxury manicures, that take time and a lot of money to make hands look as close to perfect as possible.

I should also add, that most of these manicurists, only ever include a certain type of hand and nail shape in their social media posts.

I doubt my Prince Charles’ fingers would make the cut, even if I gave up my elaborate designs.

For many of us, our nails and the things we choose to adorn them with, are an extension of ourselves and both camps, team natural and art, should be able to co-exist, without one being hailed as ‘better’.

For the past five days, I’ve had Reba McEntire’s lyrics stuck in my head, because looking after a 9 month old Border Collie by yourself, really did feel, at times like, “A single mum who works two jobs”.

If you follow me on Instagram you’ll know about Ziggy. Yes, he is my mum and dad’s, but I also like to consider myself the third parent. The fun one. You know, who doesn’t have to do any of the really hard stuff like getting up at 7.15am every single morning to play ball in the garden.

On Saturday, Jan and Mick went on a well-deserved holiday and I was left fully in charge and let me tell you, these past few days have been ruled by the PitPat.

While humans have their Aura ring/Apple watch/Garmin/Whoop band (delete as applicable), Ziggy has his PitPat tracker.

My mum and dad bought it to track his live location in case he ever got lost, that is its primary purpose. However, it also records calories burnt, steps, miles and breaks it all down in minutes by 'running’, ‘walking’, ‘playing’, ‘resting’ and even ‘pottering’.

Now, unlike most humans, Ziggy has no problem “closing his ring” and by 9.30am (after that morning game of football) has normally hit his daily exercise target.

But, it’s the comparison to previous days that I have found myself obsessively checking.

As soon as I was left in charge, I looked at his activity for the month so far. His best day was 421 minutes of activity. I was determined not to have a noticeable dip under my watch.

The problem is, I just found myself refreshing it, all the time. Even when we were mid-playing, I’d have a look and then compare it to the same time yesterday to see if I was doing better or worse.

If his activity was up but his running or walking wasn’t as high as the day before, I’d worry I was doing a bad job. I felt stressed that he wasn’t getting enough rest and then too much.

In the middle of a field, in-between ball throws, I’d try and refresh but there’d be no signal and I’d panic that without it being tracked, the whole walk would be irrelevant.

Logically, I knew I was looking after him well. We were going for two walks a day, playing ball in the garden, hiring agility fields and getting through frozen Kongs like no ones business, but when it becomes a numbers game it just felt like I could always do better.

The funniest thing is, when my parents returned on Wednesday, I asked my dad in a joking way if he’d been checking Ziggy’s PitPat while they were away.

“No. Why would I?”

The irony that I had been irrationally panicking about doing a bad job and neither of them would even think to check, because to them, the PitPat is a location tracker, not a measurer of how good a dog owner/person you are.

I’ve always felt like fitness trackers aren’t for me. For one, my health anxiety could not cope with the heart rate monitoring, even the thought of it sends me into a cold sweat.

I feel like such a Grandma when I say this, but I truly do not understand why people track their sleep. Honestly, love all my friends, but don’t give a shit about their overnight ‘scores’.

But, I do see the appeal in tracking your exercise, especially now I’m strength training three times a week.

However, my experience with Ziggy and the PitPat just proved to me that adding a fitness tracker to my own life will just cause me more stress, because for whatever reason, I seem to view them as some sort of moral compass for myself.

I’m not gonna lie, it’s been hard work and I have a newfound respect for Jan and Mick, but tell me why I just checked Ziggy’s PitPat and it made me miss him.

On Monday, Keir Starmer announced that social media usage for under 16s would be banned in the UK, to give children “their childhoods back”.

From my corner of the Internet, the feedback seems to be overwhelmingly popular, especially from parents. However I did note that on platforms like Reddit, there was much more discourse around what this actually means in terms of everyone’s online behaviour being monitored.

Personally, I think it’s worth trying and I have zero sympathy for the tech CEOs who are now complaining, when they are the ones that had all the power to actually implement proper safety controls for kids and never did.

The ban then got me thinking about my job in the beauty industry and the realisation that it will have a massive impact on everything from the way brands sell and advertise, to the products they produce.

I recently posted a video to my Instagram page about how at 39, I’m feeling like Woody and Buzz, being tossed to the charity shop, in favour of a Lilypad tablet.

I know the beauty industry is obsessed with youth, but I wasn’t expecting to feel aged out before I’d even hit 40, especially when it feels like there have been improvements with visibility at the upper age of the spectrum.

Truthfully, I’ve been wondering about getting a second job or changing careers and as much as I hate that other people in my industry feel the same, it has been reassuring to read the comments on that video and know that I’m not alone.

The current situation feels like, no matter the product or the price point, the target demographic is either Gen Alpha or Z. This is then reflected in the marketing campaign, the influencers chosen to promote and even down to the PR gifting.

Take every brands obsession with going viral (even if that means boosting all their own paid ads to get there), will that just end now one of their core demographics is unable to take part?

If they no longer have an algorithm that you can flood with boosted ads and PR unboxings from their favourite influencers, how do you get Gen Alpha’s attention?

This is genuinely the question I’m asking myself.

I was about to think positively then, but what if all these brands just pool their resources into being recommended and boosted by AI platforms that aren’t included in the ban.

Alternatively, will we see an increase in more traditional advertising strategies like film and TV placements (we all spotted that Coca Cola one in the Euphoria finale, right?).

Imagine if this meant we could bring back the iconic magazines of our 90s/00s girlhoods. Bliss, Sugar, Girl Talk. Although, you know in this day and age, they would all be written and edited by one severely underpaid journalist, who still gets made redundant.

Ooh, could a return to more text based online spaces like blogging be an option?

Where will the kids be if they’re not online and more importantly, does this mean premium beauty brands will stop embarrassing themselves on TikTok shop lives and giving away tat from Temu as over consumption incentives?

Does it translate to more in store experiences? Another topic for a different day, but I feel this is where the P Louise empire really comes into its own. Walking into that industrial estate is the equivalent of stepping into a real life algorithm.

Look what they’ve done with their Boots counter, adding create your own lipgloss bars. I am telling you, more and more brands are going to be jumping on that and the retailers are going to be applying the pressure.

Oh my god, could this be the return of Virgin Vie parties?

Wow, I am really showing my age now. If you don’t know, don’t ask. I’d say Google it, but only if you don’t just read the AI summary.

As this ban only impacts the UK, I don’t think it will impact the frequency of new launches, but maybe mass brands like say a Maybelline, would potentially skip the odd drop if they didn’t think it would get the same pick up without the social hype?

Overall, I fear the biggest takeaway for the beauty industry from this, is that we’re going to be hearing even more of the ‘C’ word.

You know the one… Community.

Do you know who will be online though? The millennials.

There has been a lot of chatter online recently about actors being unable to convey emotions, due to either large amounts of Botox or face lift style procedures.

While I agree that a malleable forehead à la Emilia Clarke is far less distracting than a marble one, I personally think another, arguably more distracting feature, is often overlooked.

Teeth.

Many years before Kris Jenner made facials fashionable again, I vividly remember watching my pirated DVD of Troy (purchased from Camden Market) and wondering why, in 1184, Agamemnon and pals all had sets of what I can only describe as ivory white piano keys.

Side note, so many thoughts on Molly Mae and Tommy Fury naming their baby Midas.

Even in a proper gritty drama like Game of Thrones, the only actors that could have a blacked out tooth were the pillagers and rapers.

Now, admittedly, I don’t necessarily want teeth to be historically accurate. Let’s face it, there’d be mainly gums, but I’d argue that a set of veneers in a period piece is arguably more distracting than a bit of Botox.

Which is why, I have become slightly obsessed with Zendaya’s teeth.

I truly believe that the ever so slight tilt (and even that is being dramatic) to her right front tooth is a huge part of her appeal.

That tiny (and it really is minuscule) hint of non-perfection makes her appear so much more personable, especially when she’s sharing a screen with other actors who all have the same copy and repeat teeth.

It gives her character, which is something that has really been lost in Hollywood and while her talent and personality mean this would never happen, without it, would she have the same success?

That belief in not changing those individual features, is something Cynthia Erivo clearly shares as well.

In a video I immediately saved as a fellow GTG (gap tooth girlie), Cynthia was filmed giving some advice to a young fan on never closing her gap.

Not that I could love her anymore than I already do, but it’s the exact kind of message I wish more people would spread and believe.

I read somewhere (probably watched a TikTok) about how the majority of celebrity plastic surgeons/aestheticians/dentists are men. Which means, when they are working on a female face, they are unknowingly approaching it from a male gaze perspective.

Many of these doctors have the same high profile patients, which means we’re all getting served the same identikit features to ‘aspire’ to… No wonder everyone is looking the same.

Growing up I was never bullied for my gap, but every now and then I will get a comment on social media about my teeth “social distancing”, which is arguably quite funny.

And while I had no plans to do anything about it, I did sometimes stick my tongue in-between, squint my eyes and try to picture what I’d look like without it.

However, nearing 40 and emboldened by Cynthia, this GTG is going nowhere.

Maybe to those men in white coats embroidered with their name, I’d look better. Like a canvas primed to perfection, ready to paint something beautiful on. But whose version of ‘beautiful’ would that be…

Like, I’m sure, a lot of you, my attitude watching season 3 of Euphoria has been, “I hate it. When’s the next episode?”

Whether it’s been the constant sexualisation of Sydney Sweeney, the unexplored character arc of Jules, Nate’s entire storyline or the completely unnecessarily graphic scenes which include a dog licking diarrhoea from Faye’s leg.

Make no mistake, season 3 is heavily flawed and I doubt I’ll rewatch a single episode, but somehow, Euphoria did what Game of Thrones and Stranger Things couldn’t, they pulled off a truly great ending.

Spoilers ahead.

After the death of Nate, I truly had lost all hope for the finale.

In hindsight, it was hilarious of me to have the slightest of hopes that Cassie would pay off Nate’s debts and they’d live happily ever after, but still, being buried alive and killed by a rattlesnake bite, seemed a bit much.

Don’t get me wrong, it truly was the scariest thing I’ve witnessed on screen in a long time and I still get the heebie jeebies thinking of it, but, whether it’s the writers, Sam Levinson or Jacob Elordi himself, it felt completely over the top (not to mention senseless) for a character who had lost all connection with the show.

If, following that shocker of an episode, you told me that our main character and beloved Rue, would be dying in the next one, I might have skipped the finale altogether, but as much as it made me cry, Rue’s death was the right decision.

I’m sure I wasn’t alone in weighing up her options beforehand and realistically, as much as I wanted Rue to live, I couldn’t see a happy or believable alternative.

Not to mention, there is no way that Zendaya (like Jacob Elordi) were leaving Euphoria with any possibility of an open return.

From the minute I turned it on (at 7am because spoilers are a real issue in the clip era), I was hooked.

For once the cinematography didn’t feel forced, it just looked beautiful and completely immersed me. I was rooting for Rue (the girl who can do anything in a pair of Converse) as she escaped Laurie’s bird sanctuary and covering my eyes as she got lassooed back.

The reunion of Maddy and Cassie as the real end game, was enough to make me overlook the rather obvious Coca Cola sponsorship and clearly I need to up my media literacy because I didn’t associate the shot of Alamo’s dead rat, with Rue.

It was only when Alamo handed Rue the ‘painkiller’, which she swallowed (despite me shouting at the TV), that I knew her fate was sealed.

Oh Rue, how you always manage to frustrate us.

Zendaya has done such an incredible job with her portrayal of Rue and it was only when I realised her mother was not reacting to her, that I began to sob. It was a hallucination and this was the end of our favourite burgundy hoodie wearer.

My tears only got heavier, when Ali found Rue the next morning and added her name to his book of dead addicts - especially knowing that she had been clean - but from that point on, Colman Domingo absolutely stole the show.

To turn a non-regular, supporting actor, into the main character of your series finale, feels like it shouldn’t work, but from the moment Ali said he realised he needed to do something different, I was rooting for him and his revenge of Rue.

Throughout this season, I have struggled with the time frame we’re meant to be in. As my friend Chloe said, the desert scenes at The Silver Slipper make you feel like you’ve gone back to the ‘70s.

Much like the cinematography, aspects of the set dressing are so clearly ‘for the vibe’, that they further cement the disassociation I had with the characters, until the end.

A perfect example of this, would be Nate and Cassie’s ‘70s inspired retirement megaplex/Graceland home. It felt too much like a set to ever be believable.

Yes, they could have bought the house to renovate, but why do all their belongings perfectly match? Silk bed sheets, horrible paintings, even the old lady pink pool towels. This is a couple in their twenties who drive a Cyber Truck. Neither of those characters would want or use the linens of the previous and assumed dead former owners.

However, the subsequent Western style shoot out with Alamo Brown and Ali, was so well acted and done, that for the first time, it really did feel like it worked.

Sure, we know Sam Levinson is a Tarantino fan boy, but I actually loved the Kill Bill of it all for once. Especially with Ali calling out for his opponent to appear.

And, if I’m paying my respects to Colman, I need to pay them to Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, who made such a brilliant villain in the form of Alamo, that I really hated him.

Not forgetting Darrell-Britt Gibson who subsequently forever endeared us to Bishop.

Even Ali’s return to the religious homestead in Rue’s honour felt genuinely touching and authentic, something this entire season has been missing.

It may have just been the material they were given, as I do think Jacob Elordi is a good actor, but Colman gave so much more of himself, it only highlighted how painful it’s been to watch a clearly checked out Nate.

The frustration with season 3 has been not only how far removed from reality it is, but also Euphoria’s core. It felt insulting as a viewer, to have waited all these years for a season, only for Nate’s entire plot line to be garbage because they could only get Jacob in a room alone for two days shooting.

Which is why, I actually think the finale worked so well, because it stopped trying to be about the supporting cast we followed through high school.

It’s not just Nate. Jules, Lexi and Cassie all got the Cat treatment and the season really suffered because of it.

They became caricatures of themselves. So, yes, I am glad we only got one scene from Jules and Lexi, because what more is there to say when they’ve been written with their souls removed. Much like Daenerys Targaryen at the end of Game of Thrones.

Unlike Eleven in Stranger Things, killing off Rue not only felt logical, but the way in which it was done, allowed us to see her finally at peace. To then follow the rest of the episode through Ali’s eyes, the one character with the most compassion and love, might just have saved season 3 from being a total disaster.

As a certified summer hater, I live in fear of the 3 months of the year other people worship. Don’t get me wrong, I love a blue sky and I am also sick of the rain, but give me the in-between seasons of spring and autumn over the clamminess of June - August any day.

In a bid to make peace with the inevitable, I wanted to share with you the things I’m doing, wearing and buying in advance, to maybe not dread summer and its associations just as much.

As a side note, this piece includes an inclusion from E45 which is part of a paid partnership. You know I only ever work with brands I genuinely love and use and in the 3 years I’ve been writing this Substack, this is the first time a brand has worked with me on here. I am hugely proud of that.

As you know, I have been honest about wanting to keep my Substack free to read and I am so honoured to have over 4,000 of you subscribed. It’s tough out here in the freelance world at the minute, so a big thank you to E45 for supporting me, my work and most importantly, my skin.

1. Upping my step count

This one has been a work in progress for the past few months, especially since my family’s beloved puppy Ziggy arrived.

The dreaded sedentary combination of working for myself and from home, meant my step count was tanking year-on-year, just like the Oscars ratings.

Countless attempts to set myself weekly step goals failed and I realised that the all or nothing approach of an arbitrary number just wasn’t for me.

Instead, it started with just getting outside. Ignoring the step count and doing some form of daily walk every day. Then when Ziggy got his freedom, that daily loop extended.

I have felt so much better for it and while I’m not hitting 10k a day, my steps are up year on year and I’ve just loved being outside more. Honestly, noticing the little signs of spring appearing, the crocuses and snow drops, the first blossom petals. Either I’m getting old or our parents were always right about getting outside.

2. Upgrading my sunnies

If there’s one area I don’t mind spending a bit more money, it’s sunglasses. I am a SUCKER for a good pair. Previously, I was a real Celine girl and wore my cream cat eyes to death on every LA trip. I have some slightly ‘silly’ heart-shaped ones from Chloe and YSL and a more sensible tortoiseshell Fendi pair, that I love dearly. But, in recent years, I’ve actually been reaching for my ones by more affordable brands like Le Specs and A.Kjaerbede.

Then, I saw the new Rayban Wayfarer Puffers, so on a recent trip to Selfridges, I thought they were going to be my next purchase. Turns out, they didn’t feel that comfortable on, and instead, I ended up buying a pair from Gentle Monster.

I was familiar with GM as my friend Chloe has a pair and honestly, there were so many styles I loved, but I went for the Cuscus BRC21, which feel so light I love wearing them. Although £195 is by no means affordable, they do make me doubt I would ever spend my Celine price again on a pair of sunglasses.

3. Prepping my dry winter skin - Part of a paid partnership with E45

I had my nails done last week and not only could Lisa my nail tech see that I hadn’t been cuticle oiling, she also said I hadn’t been drinking enough water.

Sadly for me, I am just a very dry person and it’s something that I have to constantly keep on top of.

The skinification of bodycare has been a real trend in beauty of late, but as someone whose skin barrier is as sensitive as their personality, applying retinol to my limbs, is just not something I want to partake in.

Which is why I have gone back to a beauty cult classic and a real tried and true, E45 Lotion.

The thing is, a lot of the symptoms these expensive body creams say they are solving, often just come down to a lack of moisture and E45’s clinically proven formula, shows that you don’t need to spend an arm and a leg to improve them.

I’m at the age (40 this year, gulp) where I can see when my skin is dry, especially on my arms and legs. I hate the matte look it leaves and the tight feeling. Ugh the tightness, unbearable.

My job as a beauty editor means, I’m always trying something new, but honestly, since switching back to E45, it really does make me question why we pay more for body moisturisers.

Super lightweight, non-greasy and leaves my skin with a hydrated glow that I’m sure Lisa my nail tech would be proud of.

Shop here

4. Refreshing my wardrobe

Now, this one is very much a work in progress, but, truth be told, I really have the itch for an entire new wardrobe, not just a refresh. The problem with being plus-size however, is that your shopping options are SO limited.

I’m pretty brutal with my clothing and do clear outs semi-regularly, but the other Sunday morning, on a total whim, I filled up multiple black bags with jumpers, skirts and t-shirts, that I just knew I wasn’t going to wear anymore.

I always envy Anna Newton with her capsule, edited collection, but I also know that realistically that will never be me. Partly because I can’t have timeless or investment pieces, because there aren’t plus-size options for them.

But, on that same Selfridges trip to buy my new favourite sunnies, I was walking behind a woman, with the coolest style, it really did inspire me.

She had a dress layered over trousers (not in the ‘00s way you might be thinking of) and everything was in these blue/grey mineral colours and she just looked so effortlessly cool.

It really has inspired me to try and think outside the box a bit more. I’ve even dusted off the Pinterest mood boards… I’ll keep you updated how I get on.

5. Upgrading my handheld fan

Anyone who knows me, knows that I have my John Lewis fan surgically attached to my hand as soon as we get over 20 degrees, so imagine my inner squeal when I got a press release about Shark’s new Chill Pill.

Described as a 3-in-1 personal cooling system, it has a high speed fan, ultra fine misting and and ‘InstaChill’ cooling plate, which apparently instantly chills on contact, lowering skin temperatures by up to 9 degrees.

It also comes in a range of colours including pink and turquoise, that are so reminiscent of Elle Woods buying her colourful iMac.

It’s not cheap at £129.99, but I have been lucky enough to receive one. It’s not been quite warm enough to test it out yet, but if you’re interested, I will do a full review here in future.

If you’ve been a subscriber for a while, you’ll know that a common theme of Can We Discuss, is to face those uncomfortable internal conversations we have, online, where space for nuance is rarely given.

Like, how one one hand I’m sick of people feeling they are entitled to comment on Kelly Osbourne’s weight loss, especially when she has publicly stated she is struggling with the grief of losing her dad. However, simultaneously, writing a Substack about how every recent photo of Emma Stone makes me feel deflated.

Both thoughts can co-exist. It just gets a little messy when you try to unpick them.

As a fellow millennial, Emma Stone is an actress who I feel a sort of attachment to. There are no 3 degrees of separation between us, our paths have never crossed, but the girl next door roles of her early acting days, combined with her dry humour, made her feel almost like one of us.

Which is why, when Emma was spotted at Paris Fashion Week last September, looking more like her celebrity peers than her millennial fans, it felt like she’d abandoned us.

As the 2026 awards season ploughs on, we’ve got to see more of Emma and while Reddit theorises over whether she’s had her brows/mid-face/eyes lifted (or all three) and everyone talks about how good she looks, I can’t help but miss her original, unique features.

There is no doubt the pressure and the scrutiny, celebrity women face regarding their appearance - especially as they age - and while men in Hollywood do face it too, their jaw fillers and hair transplants aren’t picked apart to the same degree.

I wish I could remember where I heard this, but I’m sure I read somewhere (probably watched a TikTok, let’s be honest), that because a large number of plastic surgeons and aesthetic doctors in Hollywood are male, this new version of what’s considered beautiful, is not only conforming, but literally designed for and by the male gaze.

It’s kind of like the people that buy period houses to grey wash. Stripping out all the original features, without taking into account the character is what made them so desired in the first place.

But then, just as I don’t believe it should be an unnaturally tanned man in a white coat with his surname embroidered, making decisions on what women should look like, why should it be me either?

Shouldn’t Emma have autonomy over her own body, without criticism or judgement from strangers on the Internet like me? Am I mourning a face from 17 years ago and therefore unintentionally adding to the problem of expecting actors to look the same in 2026 as they did in 2011?

I think the answer lies in there being multiple truths at once. That the above can be true, but also that what the celebrity elite do, impacts the beauty standards of women everywhere.

I don’t think anyone loves sandwiches as much as Jane and Roger, aka my new favourite TikTok account @AfternoonTeaJane

“Sammys”, Jane calls them and there’s something so soothing about watching her husband, Roger, generously butter slices of bread, while she talks us through that day’s filling.

There is a sammy for every occasion. When they have guests round there are make your own sandwich bars. When Jane and Roger are having a movie night, they cut their sandwiches into three to share (always with the crusts cut off). There are afternoon tea deliveries to relatives, always garnished with a tomato and a sprig of rosemary because sandwiches need some colour.

The more I watched their videos, the more I realised why I find them so comforting.

As a single 39-year-old woman, who lives alone, I don’t savour the small rituals in life, like making a sandwich, because I have no one to share them with. Unlike Jane and Roger who get so much love from something I would consider a chore.

@afternoonteajaneMaking a Delicious Four Cheese Sandwich! #deliciousfood #sandwich #cheese #foryoupage❤️❤️ #foodtok @Roger Malyon

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I obviously do take care of myself. I run my own business, so I have to be doing something right. But, those little things, those moments where I could take that bit of extra time and care, I don’t.

I can do it for other people. I enjoy doing it for other people. But, I can’t find the same joy for myself.

If I make a sandwich, I just want it done in the quickest way possible. I’ll happily reuse a plate from the day before if it just has dry crumbs on. Anything to save on the washing up. Often though, I won’t even bother with a plate. I’ll just use a piece of kitchen roll and eat it over the counter.

In the evenings, I could make my flat more cosy by lighting a candle, but I never think to. In fact, I’ll often just sit with the big light on, without even realising.

Since my friend Lucy P has been living with me, we like to have a late afternoon hot chocolate. It’s a little ritual I actually really enjoy, but deep down, I know when LP leaves, I’ll probably not bother just for myself.

@afternoonteajaneMaking sandwiches for movie watching! #sandwich #snack #tasty #yummy #foryoupage❤️❤️ @Roger Malyon

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The thing is though, I want to savour the little moments more. I want to sit on my balcony when the sun is shining and read my book, rather than thinking about it until the sun’s gone in and it’s too cold.

One of the reasons I believe these small rituals are so important right now, is because we are craving a more analog existence. We all want to scroll less, to have a proper break from the scary news and feel connected to our communities.

These little acts reminds me of my grandparents. Setting the table for a picky lunch with cutlery and napkins, rather than eating the same meal, standing, bathed in the light of the fridge door. Wearing an apron when cooking so your clothes don’t get splattered with tinned tomatoes, that never come out. Neatly folding my laundry so I don’t have to re-wash it, due to the extent of the creases.

If I was a self-help author, I’d probably include a link to my book now and tell you all the ways I plan to implement these changes into my daily life. However, anyone who reads my Substack, will know that’s not how things go around here.

Truthfully, Jane and Roger have made me realise the beauty in slowing down and enjoying what would otherwise be quite banal moments in life, but, in reality I just don’t know if I can put it into practice for myself, but I promise I will give it a try.