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Like… which oven rack are you supposed to use?

If you’re anything like me, you may have always just put your baking dish wherever the rack happened to be and hoped for the best. But the position of your oven rack can actually make a difference in how your food cooks, browns, and bakes. The middle rack is generally the best choice for even baking, while the upper and lower areas can be used when you specifically want more browning on top or underneath.

So let’s make it simple.

Think of this as your ABCDs of oven racks. Let’s start at the bottom.

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A is for Angel Food Cake and Anything Tall

A is your bottom rack, and A is for anything tall.

When you’re baking something that needs a little extra room to rise, like angel food cake, a tall layer cake, or another baked good with significant height, the bottom rack is where you want to start.

Placing a tall item lower in the oven gives it more clearance between the top of the food and the upper heating element. This is especially helpful when you’re working with something that rises significantly as it bakes.

Think about it this way: if your baked good is tall, you don’t want to start it right up near the top of the oven.

So when you’re deciding where to place a particularly tall baking dish, remember:

A = Anything Tall = Bottom Rack.

B is for Biscuits, Brownies & Breads

B is the second rack from the bottom.

This is where you’ll find three of your baking staples: biscuits, brownies, and breads.

These foods have something important in common: you want them to bake through properly while also getting that yummy texture that makes them so good.

For biscuits, the right rack placement can help you get that beautiful golden exterior while allowing the inside to cook through.

For brownies, rack placement can help them bake evenly so you aren’t left with an overly cooked top or edges while the center is still underdone.

And when it comes to breads, you’re looking for that balance between a nicely browned exterior and a fully baked interior.

So when you’re making any of these, think B.

B = Biscuits, Brownies & Breads = second rack from the bottom.

C is for Cookies & Cakes

Next comes C, which is the third rack from the bottom.

And this one is probably the easiest to remember because C is for Cookies & Cakes.

When you’re baking cookies, you want them to cook evenly without getting too much direct heat from either the top or bottom of the oven. The same goes for cakes, where even baking is especially important for getting the right texture and rise.

This is why rack placement isn’t just a random detail in a recipe. Something as simple as moving your pan up or down can change how quickly different parts of your baked good cook.

So the next time you’re making chocolate chip cookies, a layer cake, cupcakes, or another favorite cake recipe, remember your C rack.

C = Cookies & Cakes = third rack from the bottom.

D is for Do Not Use

And then we have D.

D is the top rack, and this is the easiest one of all to remember:

D is for Do Not Use.

Think of D as your reminder that not every rack in your oven is meant to be your go-to baking rack.

When you’re baking, you want to choose the rack that corresponds with what you’re making rather than automatically using whichever rack happens to be closest to eye level.

And that’s really the beauty of this system. Instead of thinking, “Wait, which rack did that recipe say?” you can think through your ABCs.

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The Easy Way to Remember

A → Angel Food Cake → Bottom
B → Biscuits, Brownies & Breads → Second from Bottom
C → Cookies & Cakes → Third from Bottom
D → Do Not Use → Top

The next time you’re preheating your oven and getting ready to bake, take a second to think about your rack before you put your pan inside.

Because baking isn’t just about what you’re making. It’s also about understanding the little details that help you make it well.

And once you know your ABCDs, choosing the right oven rack becomes one less thing you have to think about.

And remember: every oven is a little different, so your particular oven may have its own quirks. But once you understand what each area of the oven is doing, you can be much more intentional about where you place your food.

Because sometimes getting a better result in the kitchen isn’t about a new recipe at all.

It’s simply knowing where to put the pan or baking sheet.

Hope this helps!

Carla

There’s nothing wrong with a potluck.

There’s nothing wrong with BYOB.

There’s certainly nothing wrong with asking your friends to contribute to a gathering.

We used to do that ALL the time in the ’90s and 2000’s. I think it’s a little bit of a lost tradition if I’m being honest, and I think we should bring it back!

BUT

There is something wrong with inviting someone as your guest and then, somewhere along the way, handing them part of the bill, the menu, or the responsibility for the entire party.

Somewhere along the way, I think we have blurred the line between hosting a gathering and organizing one.

And I think we should talk about the difference.

Because we’ve made entertaining far more complicated than it needs to be.

Somewhere along the way, we began believing that having people into our homes required a perfectly set table, an elaborate menu, expensive wine, a spotless house, and enough food to feed a small army.

GREAT NEWS!

It doesn’t.

Hospitality has never really been about how much money you spend.

It’s about how you make people feel.

You’ll hear me say this over and over and over again.

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There’s Nothing Wrong With a Potluck

In fact, I love a potluck.

There is something wonderful about a table filled with dishes made by the people sitting around it. It’s almost like you’re getting to know someone better through their food.

Someone walks through the door carrying their grandma’s casserole. Another friend arrives with a dessert she just found on TikTok. Someone else brings a bottle of wine that they discovered on their last vacation. Before you know it, the kitchen is full of people talking, laughing, pouring drinks, and helping one another get dinner on the table.

I think we should bring that kind of gathering back more often!

You make the main course. Your friend brings the salad. Someone else brings warm bread. Another person brings their grandmother’s favorite cookies or a chocolate cake.

Put everything on beautiful serving pieces. Light some candles. Put on good music. Pick up a few flowers from the grocery store and put them in a little pitcher.

Suddenly, what could have felt like everyone chipping in begins to feel like something you created together.

And isn’t that what a home is supposed to do?

Bring us together?

The important thing is that everyone knows what kind of gathering they are being invited to.

If everyone is contributing, say so from the beginning.

There is a big difference between:

“Come over Saturday night. I’m making dinner!”

and

“Come over Saturday night! We’re having a little potluck. I’m making the main course, and I’d love for everyone to bring a favorite side or dessert.”

Both are perfectly lovely invitations.

The problem comes when someone accepts the first invitation believing they are your guest, only to receive a text later saying:

“Oh, by the way, can you bring a side dish?”

Or a dessert.

Or a bottle of wine.

Or all the drinks.

Or the bread.

Or, somehow, the meat.

At that point, the invitation has changed.

And good etiquette is so often about being considerate enough to communicate that change before someone commits to it.

If you are planning a potluck, a BYOB evening, or a dinner where everyone contributes, make that part of the invitation from the beginning.

Tell your guests what kind of evening you are hosting.

Then everyone knows exactly what they are walking into—and can happily participate.

There should never be a surprise obligation attached to an invitation.

Your Guests May Bring Something, But You Are Still the Host

Let’s say you tell your friends:

“Come over next Friday. I’ll make dinner and have all of the sides. Bring whatever you would like to drink.”

Perfect.

It’s easy. It’s clear. It’s gracious.

And if your guests bring something specifically for themselves to drink, don’t automatically assume it is a hostess gift.

Have a place for everyone’s beverages.

Have plenty of ice.

Put out glasses.

Have water available.

Think about the little things your guests will need.

They may be bringing the bottle, but you are still creating the experience.

You see, friend, that is the difference.

Contributing does not mean the host stops hosting.

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Sometimes You Should Just Host

And this may be the part of old-fashioned hospitality that I never want us to lose.

Sometimes you invite people into your home and ask them to bring absolutely nothing.

When someone says, “What can I bring?” which is often the first thing we say when someone invites us over, you can just say:

“Just bring yourself. I’ve got everything else.”

There is something sooo generous about that.

And it doesn’t have to be expensive.

You can make a nice pot of soup.

You can buy a fresh loaf of bread.

You can serve pasta, which happens to be one of my favorites for serving large groups of people.

You can order a box of pizza and put a salad alongside it.

You can make coffee after dinner and serve it with brownies from a box.

Hosting isn’t about impressing people with what you can afford!

It is about saying:

“For tonight, I’ve taken care of you.”

That feeling is becoming increasingly rare.

And I think our homes desperately need more of it!

You Don’t Have to Spend a Fortune to Gather People

There are seasons of life when gathering everyone together matters far more than who brought the bottle of wine or who made the dessert.

Young couples. Large friend groups. Neighbors. Families with children.

Sometimes sharing the expense is what makes getting together possible.

And I think that’s wonderful.

Tell your friends:

“Come over Friday. I’ll make dinner. Bring whatever you’d like to drink.”

Or:

“I’m making burgers and hot dogs. Bring a side if you’d like.”

Or:

“Let’s do a potluck. I’ll handle the main course.”

There are hundreds of ways to gather without spending a fortune.

The answer to an expensive dinner isn’t necessarily not having the dinner.

Sometimes the answer is simply changing the dinner.

Simplify the menu.

Move it to the backyard.

Make hamburgers.

Make spaghetti.

Order pizza.

Ask everyone to bring a dish.

There is no shame in any of that.

The One Thing I Would Leave in the Past

There is one thing I would personally leave behind:

Inviting people to a private dinner or party that you are personally hosting and then asking them to contribute money toward the evening.

Oh my gosh, this is a huge faux pas.

If you can’t afford the dinner you imagined, change the dinner to something you can afford.

That doesn’t make the evening less special.

It might actually make it more enjoyable.

Of course, there is a difference between a private dinner in your home and something intentionally organized as a shared expense.

Group trips, ticketed events, fundraisers, club dinners, birthday celebrations, and other gatherings where everyone knows the cost ahead of time are different.

In those situations, the expense should be communicated clearly before someone agrees to attend.

Again, it comes back to clarity.

Hospitality Isn’t a Transaction

This is what I want more of us to remember:

Hospitality is not a transaction.

Opening your home is not about keeping score.

Who brought what?

Who spent what?

Who owes whom?

Who brought the better bottle?

Who made the dessert?

That isn’t the point.

Hospitality is about creating a place where people feel welcomed, wanted, and cared for.

Sometimes you provide everything.

Sometimes everybody brings something.

Both can be absolutely beautiful.

The etiquette is just to be clear about which kind of gathering you are having.

And every once in a while, if all you can afford is spaghetti, garlic bread, and a pitcher of sweet tea, invite the people you love and tell them:

“Don’t bring anything. I’ve got you.”

Because a beautifully lived life isn’t necessarily found in all the expensive things.

Very often, it’s found around a table where somebody cared enough to say:

“Come on over. There’s a place for you.”

This is one of the many ways you can begin to create a life, family, and home that YOU love.

Perfect furniture.
Designer dishes.
Everything looked like it belonged in a magazine.

Anddd..

I couldn’t wait to leave.

Then some homes aren’t fancy at all, but somehow you walk in and immediately relax.

You kick your shoes off without even thinking about it, pour another cup of coffee, and stay muc…

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A thank you note is more than a piece of paper. It is a small act of thoughtfulness. It tells someone, “I noticed what you did. I appreciate you. Your kindness mattered to me.”

True elegance is found in the little things, and learning how to write a proper thank you note is one of those timeless skills every woman should carry with her.

I believe that all women should have this particular skill down by the time they are 30 years old, if not earlier.

Whether someone hosted you for dinner, gave you a gift, opened their home, offered encouragement, or simply showed you kindness, a thoughtful note never goes out of style.

Before we get started, I also want to emphasize how important it is that is personal and well thought out! People deserve your time and consideration, and I believe that we should be joyful and excited to give them that!

Here is my simple step-by-step guide to writing a thank you note that feels warm and personal!

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Step 1: Begin With a Proper Greeting

A thank you note should always begin by addressing the person you are writing to.

Use their name in a warm and personal way:

“Dear Sarah,”

Avoid starting with something overly casual like “Hey!” A thank you note is a moment to slow down and show intention.

Remember, the way you address someone sets the tone for the entire message.

Step 2: Express Your Gratitude Immediately

Do not wait too long to get to the reason you are writing.

Your first sentence should clearly express your appreciation.

Examples:

“Thank you so much for the beautiful dinner you hosted last week.”

“Thank you for the thoughtful gift. It was such a special surprise.” (if you can name the specific gift that’s even better)

“Thank you for opening your home and making everyone feel so welcome.”

A gracious woman does not make someone search for the reason behind the note. She leads with gratitude!

Step 3: Mention a Specific Detail

This is where a simple thank you becomes a meaningful thank you.

The difference between a generic note and a memorable note is personalization.

Instead of:

“Thank you for dinner. It was wonderful.”

Try:

“Thank you for such an incredible evening. The meal was absolutely delicious, but what I enjoyed even more than the meal was the conversation around your table. You have such a gift for making people feel at home.”

Specific details show that you were truly present and that the moment mattered.

Specific, specific, specific. Always try to be as specific as possible because it shows you were present and that you’re genuine in your gratitude.

Step 4: Share How Their Kindness Impacted You

People want to know that their effort made a difference.

Take a moment to explain why their gesture meant something to you.

Examples:

“Your encouragement meant more than you know during this season.”

“Your generosity was such a blessing to our family.”

“I always treasure the memories we make together.”

A thoughtful woman does not just acknowledge what someone did; she acknowledges how it made her feel.

Step 5: Close With Warmth

End your note with another expression of appreciation and a warm closing.

Examples:

“Thank you again for your kindness. I am so grateful for you.”

“Your friendship is such a gift, and I look forward to spending more time together soon.”

Then sign your name with a classic closing:

• With love,

• Warmly,

• Gratefully,

• With appreciation,

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A Simple Thank You Note Formula

If you ever find yourself unsure of what to write, remember this:

Thank them → Mention the specific detail → Share the impact → Close warmly

It does not need to be long. It just needs to be sincere.

The Etiquette of Thank You Notes

A few timeless reminders:

Write it by hand whenever possible.
A handwritten note carries a level of thoughtfulness that a text message simply cannot replace.

Send it promptly.
Ideally, send your note within a few days of receiving a gift or attending an event. However, a late thank you is always better than no thank you.

Choose beautiful stationery.
Your note does not need to be expensive, but it should feel intentional. Keep a small collection of thank you cards ready so you can practice gratitude often.

Never underestimate the power of gratitude.
A thank you note may take only a few minutes to write, but it can leave a lasting impression.

A Thank You Note Is More Than Etiquette

Etiquette is not about following rules to appear perfect. It is about making people feel valued.

When we take the time to write a thank you note, we are practicing kindness, humility, and thoughtfulness.

The most elegant women are not remembered because of what they own or how they look. They are remembered because of how they make people feel.

And sometimes, that begins with a simple piece of paper and the words!

With love,
Carla

Have you ever been scrolling on social media and suddenly stopped because of a coffee?!

You know the ones I mean…

The gorgeous iced latte in a beautiful glass. The creamy cold foam sitting perfectly on top. The little drizzle of something sweet.

It’s almost impossible not to stop and think, “Okay… I need to make that.”

There is just something about a really good cup of coffee that makes the morning feel a little more special.

And I don’t think it’s only about the caffeine. Of course, we all love that first sip that helps us wake up, but I think so much of it is the experience, making something beautiful, enjoying the process, and taking a few minutes to create a little moment for yourself.

The other day, in the middle of a busy workday, I told Jade and Chloe, “We’re going to make a fun coffee because I’ve finally found MY drink!”

And of course, we had to make it pretty!

We gathered all of our ingredients, picked out the perfect glass, and had fun creating this little coffee moment together. It was such a simple thing, but sometimes those are the moments that make the day feel a little more enjoyable.

So I wanted to share exactly how we made it!

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My Cookie Butter Latte 🤎

This one tastes like a cozy coffee shop drink, but it’s soooo easy to make at home.

Ingredients:

☕ Cometeer Coffee
🍪 Cookie Butter
🥛 Horizon Whole Milk
🤍 Trader Joe’s Cold Foam Creamer
🧊 Ice
✨ Your favorite glass and straw

How We Made It:

1. Start by adding a spoonful of cookie butter to your glass.

2. Pour your Cometeer coffee over the cookie butter and stir until it melts together. This is where all that delicious cookie butter flavor starts coming through.

3. Add ice to your glass.

4. Pour in your Horizon Whole Milk until your latte reaches the perfect creamy color.

5. Top it off with Trader Joe’s Cold Foam Creamer.

6. Add your favorite straw, give it a good stir, and enjoy!

The best part about making coffee at home is that you can make it your own. Add more cookie butter if you like it sweeter (that’s what I always do), more milk if you like it creamy, or extra cold foam because… why not?!!

Sometimes the little things are what make everyday moments more fun.

So the next time you’re making your coffee, try turning it into a little experience. Put it in your favorite cup, add the fun toppings, and create a little more fun in your day.

Now I want to know… what is your favorite coffee order? 🤍

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One thing I’ve learned over the years is that the best hostesses aren’t trying to impress anyone; they’re trying to make people feel comfortable!

When I leave someone’s home thinking, “That was such a lovely evening,” it’s almost NEVERRR because of the menu or the decorations. It’s because of the little touches that made me feel cared for.

Hospitality is often found in the small details.

So, here are five practical things I think every great host does.

1. They Think About Their Guests Before They Arrive

Before anyone rings the doorbell, I like to ask myself:

“If I were coming over tonight, what would make me feel comfortable?”

That might look like:

• Lighting a candle about thirty minutes before guests arrive.

• Turning on soft music so the house feels warm and has life.

• Having drinks ready instead of searching for glasses after everyone arrives.

• Clearing off the kitchen counters so the space feels calm.

• Setting out a cozy blanket if we’re sitting outside.

None of these things are expensive, but together they create a warm and welcoming atmosphere.

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2. Always Have Something Ready to Offer

One of the easiest ways to make someone feel at home is to offer them something within the first few minutes.

A cup of tea.
Sparkling water with lemon.
Coffee.
A small appetizer.
Fresh cookies.
Even a bowl of mixed nuts while everyone arrives.

It doesn’t have to be over the top.

I’ve found that having one or two “go-to” items you always keep stocked makes hosting feel so much less stressful.

3. Make Everyone Feel Included

This is one of my favorite hosting tips.

If you’re inviting people who don’t all know each other, don’t simply introduce their names.

Introduce their stories.

Instead of saying,

“This is Sarah.”

Try,

“Sarah just got back from Italy and loves gardening; you two would have so much to talk about.”

Or,

“This is Emily. She’s the one who gave me that incredible sourdough recipe.”

Those little introductions instantly create conversation.

4. Don’t Spend the Whole Evening in the Kitchen

This one took me a while to learn.

Sometimes we work so hard creating a beautiful meal that we miss the very people we invited over.

Now, whenever I can, I prepare as much as possible ahead of time.

I chop vegetables earlier in the day.

I set the table before anyone arrives.

I choose recipes that can stay warm in the oven.

The less time I’m scrambling, the more time I get to laugh, visit, and make memories.

Your guests came to spend time with YOU, not to admire how busy you are.

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5. They Send People Home Feeling Thought Of

One of my favorite little touches is ending the evening with something thoughtful.

Maybe it’s wrapping up leftover dessert.

Sending guests home with extra soup.

Giving them a couple of flowers from your garden.

Writing down the recipe they loved.

Or simply walking them to the door and telling them how happy you were they came.

Hospitality doesn’t end when dinner is over.

The final few minutes can often times leave the biggest impression.

One Last Thought

I’ve never believed that being a wonderful host requires a picture-perfect home.

What people remember isn’t whether your napkins matched your plates.

They remember whether they felt welcome.

Whether they laughed.

Whether they felt noticed.

Whether they left feeling a little more loved than when they arrived.

That’s the kind of hospitality I hope to offer, and I think it’s something every one of us can create, one thoughtful detail at a time.

Last week I was standing in the kitchen of my grandmother’s house in Del Rio, Texas. Many of you have probably never heard of this little town right on the border, but to me it’s everything. It’s where I grew up. It’s the town that shaped me and who I am today.

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Just the other day, my little nephew and I made them together. I want to encourage you to share the experience of baking and creating moments of warmth with others in your life.

There is truly nothing better, and I hope you enjoy a little taste of my home in yours with this recipe!

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Hello, friend.

I’m so glad you’re here.

After years of sharing pieces of my life online, I wanted to create a space that feels a little slower, a little more personal, and a little more intentional. A place beyond the noise of regular social media where we can truly connect. A place where I can share a deeper and more personal side of me, my life, and my family.

This is a space for women who want to embrace the beauty of everyday life: from becoming more feminine, practicing etiquette, creating a welcoming home, and nurturing deeper relationships.

Here, I’ll be sharing personal stories, lessons I’ve learned, favorite recommendations, and practical ways to bring more grace and intention into your everyday moments. Really, anything fun, beautiful, and personal I can think of!

Think of this as a seat at my table! I’m so grateful you’re here, and I can’t wait for all that we’ll share together!

To my community

I hope to build a community of women who want to live with greater intention. A place where we encourage one another, embrace femininity, celebrate everyday etiquette, start hosting again, and start loving life!

Above all, I want this to feel like a conversation where we all become friends, where you’ll leave feeling inspired to live with a little more grace, purpose, and joy.

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What you can expect

Each month, I’ll be sharing thoughtful letters, personal updates, and practical tips and tricks to help you live your life to the fullest and get a closer look at mine.

Free subscribers receive:

• 2 monthly newsletters featuring life updates, recommendations, and favorite finds

Paid subscribers receive:

• Free 60 Day Everyday Etiquette Challenge Downloadable

• 2 monthly letters plus 3 additional in-depth subscriber-only posts that include exclusive lessons, insights, and behind-the-scenes moments

• Full chat access for deeper conversations and connection

• The ability to submit questions for exclusive Q&A sessions

• Access to Live videos, exclusive content, and future discounts.

I’m so excited to have you here! Let’s build a life, family, home we love… TOGETHER!