I’m calling BS on imitation is the greatest form of flattery. It’s been more than two years since my business, The Retreat monthly print newspaper, was carbon copied and I’m still pissed and not one bit flattered.

Imitation is the worst form of lazy.

Blame it on pregnancy giving me a nine month break from caring and the 4 month postpartum baby bliss that caused me to forget, but I’m back (thanks to one of our past muses Elizabeth Carter of Honest Rituals sharing her experience with being copied) and ready to share.

Maybe ‘ready’ isn’t quite the right word because although I’ve wanted to share these stories for a while, I’m not sure I’m ready to give everyone access. Letting people see your (lingering) resentment and sadness is vulnerable. And truth is, I’m finally realizing that the person I’m angry at is actually myself for staying silent, thinking I was being the bigger person by thinking ‘authenticity’ would shine through, and letting people walk all over me.

I dove into my daughters astrology chart the other day and it encouraged me to offer her useful ways to release her anger instead of bottling it up. Practice what you preach, right? So I figured I should try one of my tried and true resentment-releasing activities: writing. Something about sharing it here may or may not help. Who knows*. At the very least I hope it encourages you to recognize you have your own unique gifts to share—and you should never take someone else’s and repackage them as your own.

*writing this has definitely helped!!! Shockingly so! Highly recommend.

go here to learn how I manifested our 1930s home, here for the subscriptions I would go into debt for, here to learn how to feng shui your body and home for the 2026 forecast, and here for how to create a vision book. Subscribe below to get them all.

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Dear Rosie,

We went to the river today and as we drove past a farm stand your Dad told us about the time he was stopped at the red light next to it and saw someone buying a watermelon. The old farmer picked up the watermelon and kissed it before passing it across the table to its new home.

Here’s what you need to know about fruit:

It is delicious and glorious and deserves to be cared for and kissed.

Just like you.

It’s consumption shall not be limited—no matter how many people tell you it has too much sugar or that you should really be eating more protein.

You, like fruit, are never too much.

Acidic fruits like lemons and limes can act as batteries and conduct electricity.

Have I told you lately that when you get sour, it never bothers me? It adds zestiness to our lives.

Soon everyone will know that fruit quite literally acts as batteries for our bodies. Fruit has a charge and we are electric after all.

Have I told you lately that you light up my world?

Fruit hydrates better than plain water because it contains living water and trace mineral salts.

Eat all of the grapes and melons you desire for deep cellular hydration and joy.

Aunt Sarah taught me that for a fig to become what it is, a wasp has to crawl inside, pollinate it, and never come back out.

Sometimes something so sweet requires a small death. Hard things, my love, yield some of life’s greatest harvests.

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Dr. Masaru Emoto taught me that since fruit contains water, we can structure it for beauty and even deeper nourishment with prayer, gratitude, and compliments.

The same thing goes for the way we talk to ourselves. We are (at least) 60% water after all. Try this:

Wow, Kiwi, you are looking quite fuzzy, plump, and green today.

Very nice bunch you got there Grapes. They say you are the sum of the five people you hang out with the most, and you all seem lovely.

Oh my goodness Rosie, your eyes are so sparkly and kind.

The red and orange hued fruits, like watermelon, tomatoes, and papaya, contain lycopene, a powerful antioxidant, which is natural sun protectant.

Don’t even get me started on conventional sunscreen ingredients right now.

The best blueberries are found on the side of the road in Maine.

I can’t wait to take you there.

If I’m lucky, I will get 70 years with you.

70 more late summer seasons with you when the tomatoes are at their juiciest and best served sliced with a sprinkle of salt.

70 more winters when oranges are at their peak and gracing us with the vitamin C we need during cold season.

70 more springs filled with rhubarb pies and autumns with apple cider.

So please, never pass on pie.

Fruit reminds us that beauty is abundant but life is ripening and nothing is permanent.

Do not forget to have an appetite for life and suck ever bit of juice out of it.

Cantaloupe goes well with prosciutto. And this is best enjoyed on a Sunday afternoon in Summer.

People may tell you to eat fruit alone because it digests best solo. They are right, but they are also no fun. It is important to have fun.

Eating fruit should be messy and joyful. Not proper or boring.

You, my girl, are never boring. And I love a mess.

Fruit is evidence of a persons life and character. The metaphorical kind, not the tangible. But also, sometimes the tangible kind.

Never be impressed by how much someone has. And, one good apple is better than 100 bad ones.

I promise to read you ‘Tomatoes’ by Joy Sullivan, an unamed poem about oranges by Sarah Verdi, and Braiding Sweetgrass often.

Fruit has spiritual and energetic benefits, for example:

• Lemons and limes uplift.

• Apples help calm an overactive mind.

• Wild blueberries provide powerful motivation.

I don’t make the rules.

But I will make your breakfast, lunch, and dinner with this in mind.

When buying fruit opt for the pieces that look like they’ve been kissed by their stewards before sending them off to their new homes.

Wherever you go in this life, I will never forget to kiss you.

*names have not been changed. In fact, they should be bolded and ten sizes bigger because these are the women who made it possible

Dear Rosie,

As far as grocery stores go, Publix is my favorite.

It’s the last grocery store I would pick to actually shop at, and I’d never recommend a visitor go even though it’s the closest to our house. They don’t have a great selection, they are wildly overpriced, and their Pub subs are overrated. As an Italian girl from Philly, I can say that. I have hoagie credentials.

But still, it’s my favorite, Rosie, because that’s where I found out about you.

It was one of those August days when you step outside and you’re already sweating because the air is thick and wet with salt water. Rosemary Beach can be like that. Florida can be like that. Georgia—where you live—can be like that.

The 24 hours before I took the pregnancy test felt something close to a hurricane. We stayed inside all day playing games and drinking. I swear I was only drinking because I knew I couldn’t be pregnant. After my miscarriage in February, we planned to wait until November to try again.

But there I was, awake at four in the morning with the knowing that I was pregnant. I was only two days late—normal since February—and had zero symptoms, unlike last time. Not only could I stand the smell of coffee, but I was consuming it at alarming rates. There was no way I could be pregnant.

The next morning, your Dad, your Pop Pop, and your uncles all went golfing. The girls were scheduled for early afternoon massages together, so before breakfast I said I was going out on a walk to talk to your Auntie Sarah on the phone.

Instead, I drove to Publix.

Overpriced. Overrated. Undersupplied. Publix.

I grabbed a pink line test, checked out, and made a beeline straight for the bathroom. Tears filled my eyes as two dark lines instantly emerged.

It was you.

You.

You.

You.

I’ll never forget the way your Dad’s eyes lit up when I told him. Sometimes I see that moment in your eyes when you smile. You look just like him, Rosie, it’s incredible.

I wanted to have a home birth when I found out I was pregnant two Januarys ago, but I thought I wouldn’t be able to do it.

Could I handle the pain? What would everyone else think? Would a birth center be a safer bet? After all, I wasn’t even living in our home yet. But as soon as I saw that second line in Publix—as soon as I walked into our bedroom on the day we moved in—I knew I’d have you here, in your home.

I thought I’d come up against some obstacles finding a midwife. Turns out, when you want something, the entire universe conspires to help you find it. Rosie, finding Hannah and Amanda (and Morgan, Alex, and Lindsay) was a God thing.

You probably know this about me by now: I don’t love watching basketball. If I had to rank sports I enjoy watching, basketball wouldn’t make my top five. But your Dad really likes to play basketball—so much so that he joined an intramural league team called the Swish Kabobs.

I’d like to say it was him who convinced me to go to his games, but really it was watching Nobody Wants This on Netflix and deciding it might be fun to be a WAG (wives and girlfriends)—to meet other amateur bball wives and make friends.

One of those WAGs was Rachel, who was pregnant at the time. I had just seen your cute little face on your first ultrasound, but I was waiting until 12 weeks to tell people. So when Rachel told me she was planning a water birth at home, I think she was confused by my passionate interest and endless follow-up questions.

A few weeks later, when I texted her asking about her birth plans, she sent me Hannah and Amanda’s Nest Midwifery Instagram. The next day, I talked to Amanda on the phone for over an hour. Dad and I went to their office to learn more, and it was settled.

They were our people.

As we were leaving, I saw Morgan, our doula and chiropractor, and felt an overwhelming sense of knowing her. She had the most palpable aura of calmness. It was angelic. Even though I didn’t speak to her that day, I knew she would be our doula.

Throughout my pregnancy, I would take to my journal to talk to you. You’ll read that one day, too.

In there, you’ll see how scared I was that I would lose you. How often I prayed for a sign that you were really coming and that I was making the right decision by having you at home.

Some of those signs came in the form of the women at Nest. Like whenever they’d say you’re doing good things when I thought for sure I wasn’t.

Now you know why I always say that to you. Because of them.

Do you know that a few conventional doctors told me I probably couldn’t get pregnant, Rosie? They said my bloodwork wasn’t looking too good and that it would be very hard.

I believed them.

I hate that I believed them.

I’m going to teach you to call bullshit on anything anyone tells you that doesn’t feel like your truth. Even if they claim to be an expert. Especially if they claim to be an expert.

Your due date was April 15. I used to joke out loud to anyone who would ask that you’d be our in-house accountant but pray silently that you’d evade a universally hated day for your birthday. So when the day finally came around, I decided it was a normal day and I went to Frick and Frack for our favorite decaf sourwood latte.

The woman in line in front of me asked your due date while staring at her phone. I’ll never forget how quickly her wide eyes moved from Facebook to my face when I said, “today.” I waited nine months for that moment. Alas, your due date came and went, just as I hoped.

Two days later, on Thursday night, period-like cramps started. Dull. Achey. Nothing to write home about. I ignored them, like all of the podcasts and books told me to. As a first-time mom, early labor could be really long—getting too excited could tire me out. So instead, I just laid awake in bed and told myself you would be here next Tuesday, April 22.

Plus, I made plans with your Dad to go up to the lake for the weekend. Mid-seventies, a boat ride, and pizza felt like exactly the kind of oxytocin boost that might kick labor into gear. So I spent all of Friday afternoon and evening telling people I was due a few days ago while silently having contractions about twenty minutes apart. They still weren’t painful. I was still playing dumb.

After pizza, we sat on the porch with your Dede, Baboo, and their friends. I answered silly questions about home birth and downloaded an app to time the intensifying contractions while they told me the perks of a c-section (like having the house clean and getting your nails done. Neither of those things matter to me. I didn’t even have my nails done when I married your Dad.)

At three in the morning, the contractions were still inconsistent but getting a bit more intense, so I went to the bathroom to hop in the shower. That’s when I lost my bloody show.

What a great sign! I thought to myself. She will definitely be here by Tuesday.

I was still playing dumb.

I told your Dad when he woke up, and with contractions a little more intense than the day before—but still not consistent—we decided to head home. We stopped at Batesville General Store and got spicy sausage biscuits. I can’t wait for you to try one. Truly, it was the best breakfast of my life—eating it while driving through the bright green mountains on my way home to you.

For lunch that day I made the questionable decision of Chipotle with extra spicy salsa. You really made me crave spicy food. Do you remember when I ate Indian food for almost a week straight?

Which brings me to dinner. Thai. I mean, the nerve! Who did I think I was eating all this heavy, spicy food? Can you remind me not to do that whenever your sibling decides to make their arrival? Let’s get ice cream instead.

Sunday

The sun rose on Sunday along with the intensity of my contractions. I did the miles circuit while watching Hacks in bed and again while watching some nature travel show with Dan Levy that I do not recommend. Stanley Tucci’s is much better. Even Zac Efron’s. No shade to Dan Levy, I enjoyed Schittd’s Creek.

2:30 pm

While side-lying on the floor of the living room with my right leg bent and propped on three pillows, my water broke.

I didn’t know at the time that was happening—I thought I was just uncontrollably peeing myself and yelled for your Dad to come help me up. Looking back, it’s ridiculous that I thought I was peeing. Water kept rushing out the entire walk to the bathroom.

I texted Morgan to let her know and she called me immediately. I told her I didn’t know for sure if it was my water and that contractions were still inconsistent and bearable. She suggested I call Hannah to let her know.

I didn’t want anyone to come over and then have to go home because it wasn’t actually time so when I called Hannah and she said she was up in Blairsville, an hour and half away visiting friends, I felt so bad. Contractions still weren’t bad so I said don’t worry about it and not to rush back. A few days later, Lindsay would tell me that Hannah called her and said “Carley’s cooking with gas! You gotta get over there!” And that Rosie, is your Auntie Hannah’s midwife intuition in action because my contractions then became 45 seconds-2 minutes apart.

At this point, I’d asked your Dad to fill up our tub in case I wanted to get in it for relief. I wanted to give birth in the blow up pool because of the soft bottom and it felt more spacious, but I didn’t think it was time to blow up the birth pool yet. Still…I’m in denial. I hate to even write this, but at one point during my one minute break in between contractions, I was leaning over the bed thinking to myself, this is easy.

One thing about me that wouldn’t be the worst thing to inherit is that I’m a sucker for the placebo effect. Bennett’s mom, Bailey, told me that squeezing combs helps with the pain so I ordered some cute wooden ones from Amazon that say ~labor comb~ on them. I swear they worked. Plastic ones from CVS would’ve probably worked too but these were as chic as a comb could be. I’ll keep them for you to use one day.

4/430 ish

Alex comes! I made it a point to tell everyone at Nest that I wanted them all there. That’s what happens when you get so close to everyone over the span of 9 months. Usually only one midwife and a midwife assistant will come, so we really lucked out, Rosie.

So Alex shows up and I am hanging over the bed and I desperately want to show her around the house and get her a snack. She’s a legit homesteader so I knew she’d like our backyard and would probably want to say hi to the chickens, but she kept telling me she was fine. She looked at my contractions app and then shut it off saying we didn’t need it anymore. I thought it was probably because I still wasn’t far along.

Then Morgan comes in and starts doing hip squeezes and adjustments (at least I think so) and then at some point Lindsay comes in and checks your heartbeat and it’s great. It’s getting more intense at this point and I have a memory of me standing at the bathroom sink while Morgan, Lindsay, and Alex are giving me a pep talk. I don’t remember what they were saying but I can see it so clearly and remember feeling so safe.

530pm

I ask Morgan if I can get in the shower and from here it becomes a bit of a blur but I’ll do my best with the help of timestamps on photos.

I’m in the shower and Dad is holding my hands on one side and Morgan is doing hip squeezes on the other. I’m in a completely different world when I say that I feel like I need to push.

In the living room, Lindsay and Alex are getting the birth pool set up and Morgan goes to tell them that my voice changed and that she just saw some bone in my low back and a vein pop out.

As you know, I listened to tons of home birth stories so I knew what I was feeling was the fetal ejection reflex. It’s really true what they say: it really does feel similar to the feeling of throwing up but out of your butt. I could not control it.

At some point I get out of the shower because Morgan says she wants to save hot water for the pool.

The pool is now in our room but no water is in it so they suggest I get in all fours on the bed and I keep saying I feel like she’s coming can you see her head CAN YOU SEE HER HEAD?!

It starts to get so intense that I am demanding—I could be screaming—that I need to get in the pool but it’s not ready yet. Hannah is here now bringing buckets of water from our other tub into the birth pool. I finally get in and there really was relief.

6:23

I start (I think) on all fours and whenever a contraction comes my hips are sent back to my heels. I am not in control. I am half here and half somewhere else, retrieving you to come to Earth.

I sit back with your Dad holding me up, Morgan to my right with a fan (the best thing ever), Alex to my left and Lindsay and Hannah in front. I remember thinking how sacred the circle felt. How sacred the entire moment felt. Like we were sitting around a fire on another plane, with time at a stand still. And when I think back, I can’t imagine ever giving birth alone. If I could be so lucky, and I pray that I am, they will be with me through every one of my babies births.

To me, they are magic. Otherworldly. Ushers. They witness a woman touching God every single day.

It’s something I’ll never fully be able to explain. I’ll never have the words for it. Mystical, transcendent, supernatural don’t even come close. But one day, if you want, you’ll experience it too.

6:49

After maybe 6-7 pushing contractions with what felt like the most blissful and calm five minutes in between each, you arrive all at once.

Lindsay quickly unravels your cord which was wrapped twice around your neck, and once along your body. You must have been having fun in there, they say. Babies like to play with their cords and they will also wrap them on purpose so that the cord doesn’t come out first. Such a fun and smart thing for you to do, Rosie. You are so smart and so fun.

I pick you up out of the water and bring you to my chest. In that moment, in the video, in my eyes, you can see me come back to Earth. You are here and my God, you are beautiful.

I keep saying oh my fucking God, oh my God, oh my God. (I know I used God’s name in vein, but I know that he has a sense of humor, and he is probably laughing thinking, yup, I told you so.)

I look at your Dad, who is crying and in awe of you. We kiss and I say, baby, we have a daughter. I look around the circle at these women and know that God sent them for us. I tell them I love you guys so much.

You let out a cry and I know that in this moment nothing will ever compare. The love I have for you is so big—so immeasurable—so unlike anything that ever has been or ever will be.

Months ago I wrote in my journal that I’d like you to be born at six in the evening so we could all share soup after. Thank you for making that dream come true.

Morgan heated up Mommom’s beef chuck and veggie soup with sourdough and we feasted around our bed. My favorite meal of all time. The first with you on my chest. You, my answered prayer. You, my girl.

I’ve had an on-again, off-again relationship with God ever since Vacation Bible School. After spending my entire life in Catholic school, I started to believe what they were selling: that God was spiteful. I was scared of him. I was scared of religion. But still, I prayed to him. Through different challenges and gifts, I began to question the version of God I had been taught and have since found him to be all-loving.

After every prenatal appointment, the women at Nest prayed over us. At first, I felt awkward, like I wasn’t allowed to receive their prayers because I didn’t have a deep or consistent relationship with God. But each time, as your Dad and I closed our eyes, held hands, and listened to their words, I felt the God I’d always known was true.

After your birth, with our bellies full of soup and the clock nearing midnight, they prayed again. Tears slipped from my eyes for the hundredth time that evening when I had the overwhelming feeling that there were angels covering our ceiling.

Rosie,

When it comes to grocery stores, Publix is my favorite. Overpriced. Overrated. Undersupplied. Publix. Because every time I drive by one now, I think of those two lines. And when I look in my rearview mirror and see you in your car seat, I can’t help but tilt my head back and smile.

It was you all along.

I love you so big,

Mom

In this guide, I’m taking notes from our March 2025 issue of The Retreat, theme: Transitions. This time last year, I was a few weeks post-miscarriage and our monthly theme came (per usual) at a divine time and supported me through a really difficult season. This month, I’m revisiting the journal prompts, oracle cards, and a few rituals to see how I’ve evolved and to support this next evolution into Spring and motherhood. If you’re not a mother, soon-to-be mother, or someone who wants to be a mom at all—this guide is still for you.

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Here’s what to look forward to:

• the recipe I’m drinking every morning and why

• oracle card print out (or point at (;; )

• journal prompts (ft some of my favorite quotes)

• foot soak recipe

• wardrobe edit

• my go-to youtube channels & episodes

• rose water recipe

• poetry to hang up

• mood board (for phone background or journaling)

• women who run with the wolves story club

(other things I’m doing: continuing knitting classes, sound bath, buccal massage)

mini activities for this transition season

1. morning Ginger Jujube Goji Berry Tea

Peeling ginger in the morning is my daily meditation. I used to hate peeling ginger but then I recently read that Anthony Bourdain said that if you hate peeling fresh garlic (insert ginger) than you don’t deserve to eat garlic (ginger). Now, thanks to AB, I take the 30 seconds to 1 minute as a time to really focus on what I’m doing because I love eating/drinking ginger (and garlic).

I started drinking ginger, jujube, and goji tea a few years ago when Dr. Isabella (my medical qi gong teacher and chinese medicine doctor) prescribed it to me to help with my hormones, which were in perimenopausal range at 27. After I felt a very tangible sense of healing, I quit doing it which I regret—but like I mentioned, I hated peeling ginger. I’m back on the juice after hitting an insomnia wall at the end of second trimester and lordy lordy does this combo work.

Benefits

• regulates spleen and stomach

• supports digestion & sleep

• moistens intestines

• tonifies blood and yin, balances yang energy

• calms spirit

• warms the lungs

• promotes longevity

Recipe

• fresh peeled & sliced ginger

• red jujube dates

• goji berries (optional)

I peel and slice a medium size piece of ginger (because I’m preg I do a little smaller now) and place 3-5 jujube dates along with 10-15 goji berries into about 2-3 cups of water and bring to a boil. I let it simmer for about 20 minutes and then serve with honey.

I try to drink this after my lemon water and before breakfast, but these days I’m ravenous first thing so I’ll have it after my fruit or oatmeal (current fixation).

2. Oracle Card Print Out

I’m a sucker for an oracle deck. My favorites are this Animal Spirit one and this herbal one from Anima Mundi. In last years March issue, I put together a page of oracle cards for readers to cut out. I love them so much that I’ll leave them here for you to print (you can also still get the March issue here) or just close your eyes, ask a Q, wave your finger around, and point.

3. Journal Prompts (ft some of my favorite poems and quotes)

1. What is one small and one big transition you are currently moving through? If you had to give them a name, what would they be? What is an affirmation you want to carry with you during this time?
   
   

2. “In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” – Albert Einstein

What opportunities are being offered to you right now? What qualities are you hoping to cultivate in this season of your life?

3. So I lie just like that, while distance and time

reveal their true attitudes: they never

heard of me, and never will, or ever need to.

Of course I wake up finally

thinking, how wonderful to be who I am,

made out of earth and water,

my own thoughts, my own fingerprints—

all that glorious, temporary stuff.

—Mary Oliver, a piece from her poem, “On Meditating, Sort Of”

Reflect on a moment when you embraced your individuality or felt at peace with who you are. How does the idea of being ‘temporary’ influence your perspective on your uniqueness and the choices you make?

4. Transitions are a part of life. It’s not the transition that causes stress, it’s the resistance to it. – Unknown

What are you resisting?

5. In her poem, “The Ballad of the Lonely Masturbator,” Anne Sexton writes, I am not the same woman I was yesterday, the change is so large, I can see it, I can feel it, but I do not know how it happened.

There is this elusive nature to transformation. Think about a time in your life when you experienced a shift in identity or perspective. What did that transformation feel like? How did it affect you, even if you couldn’t pinpoint exactly how it happened?

6. Spring is about to pop off in the Northern Hemisphere, while Fall is shaping up the Southern Hemisphere. Let’s talk about tangible transitions: fashion, of course. How will you lean on your wardrobe to help you embody the qualities and experiences you hope to call in during this new season?

4. Foot Soak Recipe(s)

I love a good foot soak. It’s funny for me to look back at one of the rituals in last March’s issue being a foot soak and me saying ‘don’t worry if you don’t have a tub, I don’t either, I use a big orange home depot bucket!’ I literally boiled water on the stove every night and sat on the couch with my feet in my bright bucket. Now, a year later, I live in a house with a bathtub and I can confirm that despite a bit more luxurious and less messy, the foot soak still hits the same. Here’s why I do it:

Benefits

• improve blood circulation throughout entire body

• descend energy from mind, help sleep

• reduce headaches, migraines, and dispel cold, wet energy & too much yang fire, negative energy or mental chatter

• regular practice can help with menstrual irregularities, postpartum care, urinary issues, and anxiety (I did this often when I had UTIs for no lie a year straight and it definitely is something I owe healing to)

3 Ways

• plain hot water up to the mid-calf for 20-30 minutes (nothing fancy)

• sometimes a cup of epsom salt or a few drops of essential oils

• the following recipe by herbalist Joanna Steblay of which was featured in last year’s march issue

Grounding Chamomile Foot Bath Recipe

Ingredients:

• 1/2 - 1 cup of dried chamomile flowers

• water

• bathtub, large basin, bowl, or bucket

Instructions:

• Prepare a large basin, bowl, or bucket.

• Heat two quarts of water to boiling. Allow the water to cool for 5 minutes, before adding ½ - 1 cup of dried chamomile blossoms. Stir well and cover, allowing the herbs to infuse for at least 2-3 hours, ideally 4-5.

• When ready for your footbath, strain out the herb material and reserving some on the side. Gently heat your infusion on the stove, avoiding a boil. Pour the infusion into your basin along with 1-2 more quarts of warm water for dilution. Add in a small amount of the reserved chamomile blossoms for texture and connection to the plants - if desired.

• Soak your feet (or hands) for 8-10 minutes. Notice how the mind slows as there is a gentle movement of blood away from the head and upper body down toward the feet. This chamomile footbath may also prove helpful for overstimulation and some headaches. Enjoy.

5. Wardrobe Edit

I can’t believe that wardrobe edits have been getting hate on here. There is nothing I love more than getting rid of clothes I don’t care for anymore. And not in a laissez-faire, I’m-going-to-landfill-this-shit way, but in a very intentional, let’s-donate-or-upcycle way. It’s no secret that I hate wearing something made of plastic or something that is ‘trending.’ If it won’t be ‘in style’ next year, it’s not for me. If I can see myself wearing something in 10 or 20 years, then that’s a good sign.

Since getting pregnant, I’ve been very intentional with any clothing purchase. The truth is, I rarely get new clothes. Although I did totally splurge and get a dress with pink poppies on it for my baby shower, other than that, it takes me weeks (months, sometimes) to make a purchase I’ve been thinking about. I’m typically a very colorful person but that makes it hard to mix and match and then I end up being sick of something within the year or two. So…the following may look super basic, and that’s on purpose.

I’ve already compiled 3 boxes of clothes that just don’t do it for me anymore and eventually…months down the line…if I still like something I show below…I’ll end up biting the bullet and getting it. This typically works in my favor because it ends up being on sale and I know its something I’ll make good use of.

Here’s what I’m eyeing:

You all know I’m obsessed with Christy Dawn from this vision journaling post and our interview with her, so it should be no surprise that her organic and regenerative cotton pieces make my list. I have four dresses from CD and I cherish their quality and timelessness. I am still holding out on a CD gift card I received for Christmas last year to get something really special postpartum.

Deiji Studios Linen & Cotton

Indigo Luna

My tried and true. When I had the studio, I sold Indigo Luna everything. I was basically a walking billboard for them and rarely wore anything else.

And more of…PACT: organic only panties and bras. These are the cheapest and best quality I’ve found. I’ve revamped my entire intimates drawer since fall. Never underestimate how good it can feel to have new, good-for-you undergarments.

Final thoughts: staple pieces and good quality pieces are always worth the investment.

My advice is to start a notes page on dream clothes purchases. Your taste and budget may change over the coming months, and bonus that a lot of things will end up going on sale when you randomly pop in and click the link.

6. Watch My Go-to Youtube Channels & Videos

I love a good youtube and lunch or youtube and dinner and I’m making sure I’m doing more of it this month because it makes me so happy. My husband and I are obsessed with:

• Huckberry Dirt (this episode, this episode, and this episode)

• Turkish Village Life (ah the sounds of chickens and birds and 0 talking)

(and I personally love watching birth videos/stories and movie trailers (I still really want to see this)—I sometimes prefer the trailer to the movie, too.)

Consider this an instant de-stress activity. I feel good after consuming this content, unlike that of IG a lot of the time (which I’m off of for the month of March!)

If you have any other youtube channel recs, please drop them in the comments!

7. Rose Water Recipe

I gifted my friends and all the women in my family rose water. I am truly obsessed with making it because 1. its fun 2. I was spending so much money on rose water from Anima Mundi that buying a bulk bag of organic roses makes way more sense financially. It’s also just such a cool skill to have imo and its easy peasy.

Dont @ me—I learned from With Love, Meghan. Here’s the recipe:

What you need

• Stove or electric burner

• Dutch oven pot with lid

• Bowl for soaking rose petals

• Colander for straining and rinsing rose petals

• Metal steamer basket

• Ceramic or glass heat-safe bowl

• Pot holders or oven mitts

• Funnels or pipettes

• Bottle(s) for storing

Ingredients

• 1 cup food-safe, dried rose petals

• 5 cups distilled water, divided

• Ice

instructions

1. Soak dried rose petals in 2 cups of room-temperature distilled water for at least 1 hour. They will reabsorb the water and grow in size.

2. Transfer rose petals to pot: Place the rinsed, rehydrated petals in a pot and cover them with the remaining 2 cups of water. Place your metal steamer tray over the petals. The water should completely cover the petals, but not be too deep to where your steamer is covered with water.

3. Place a ceramic or glass heat-safe bowl on top of the metal steamer tray to catch the condensation.

4. Place the domed lid on the pot, face down, and add some ice cubes to the dip in the lid. Heat the water over medium until it reaches boiling point. The steam from the water will hit the cold domed lid and turn back into water, collecting in the bowl inside the pot.

5. Keep replacing the ice until all the water in the pot has evaporated. The total process should take about 30 minutes.

6. Remove the heat-safe bowl from the pot. Funnel the distilled rosewater that has collected inside the bowl into a sterilized bottle for use.

8. Story Club: Women Who Run with the Wolves

There is nothing I love more than a good tale over tea. Something I’ve missed so much this past year (its been a whole year since I led my last retreat) is storytelling and teaching. If you’ve ever read The Retreat or attended one of my retreats/classes, then you know that I am a sucker for a good myth and somatic practice. Starting mid-March, I’m getting back to that but this time online. I can’t wait to share my four favorite myths from my beloved women who run with the wolves.

Each week, we’ll meet for an hour and a half to discuss the story of the week, do a gentle somatic movement and mindfulness practice, journal, and chit chat about how the theme mirrors our internal and external worlds.

This is one of my mini-activities I am looking forward to the most—because I get to be in community with you!!!

If this sounds like something that you might love or need this Spring season, go here to learn more and snag your spot.

9. Mood Board

My plan is to spend a night cutting these put and pasting them in my journal. I love to have a photo as a journal prompt—it makes journaling easy and fun, especially when I don’t feel like doing it. I’m also going to make a little digital collage for my phone and computer background.

You can find the full board for Transitions here.

Ok, that’s all for now! It’s been so fun writing these mini blogs and guides. A breath of fresh air after killing myself to write the perfect piece(s) every month. But you can still find those perfect pieces here.

What activities are you scheduling for March?! Give me more ideas. Happy almost Spring!

<3 Carley

I’m pregnant with a girl. She’s due in April—a fire-y month already, by Western astrology standards. I immediately looked up celebrities born in 1966: Adam Sandler. I calmed down. This should go without saying… I don’t know Adam Sandler, but he seems chill. Please don’t tell me if you met him and he’s not. I’m superstitious to a fault. Something I hate about myself.

I was worried for all of 15 minutes until my husband’s response—“she’s gonna be so cool”—and my walk through the woods made me realize how badass unruliness can be—and also how silly it is to take things as 100% truth. I need to quit doing that. Plus, Dr. Isabella did say that the higher expression of the fire horse energies can be incredibly powerful. Which brought me to my next mini freak-out. How the hell am I supposed to help her during her clash year?!

The Chinese Zodiac signs having a clash this year are the following (don’t freak out, you just need to take extra care!):

Energetic Clashes

• Horse* (always a clash year for the zodiac of the year)

• Rat*

• Rabbit

• Ox

• Rooster

Mixed Energy

• Dragon

• Snake

• Monkey

• Pig

Lucky Animals

• Tiger

• Dog

• Goat / Sheep

If you’re a mom, or pregnant and due this year and worried about how you’re going to support your sweet fire horse baby, fear not. Dr. Isabella confirmed to me via WhatsApp text that the energies don’t impact babies/children until they are around 7. The best thing to do for them is support the home (feng shui details to come). Older fire horses, on the other hand (my mother), need to take extra special care to align with the energies of nature and the universe and balance the fire + water elements in the body.

I won’t go too deep into the feng shui of the body (you should learn from the master herself in the recording), but I do want to point out what will be most vulnerable for us as a collective.

Because the fire (heart and small intestine) and the water (kidney and bladder) elements are most impacted by this triple (yes, triple) fire year, we’re more likely to be vulnerable to:

• inflammation and chronic infections

• emotional burnout

• sleep disturbances

• blood pressure fluctuations and spikes

• anxiety, PTSD, addictions

• systemic dehydration ****

• skin dryness and irritation

• glandular and reproductive issues

• genetic issues, vaccine side effects

For the extensive list, specific health considerations for your zodiac, and further explanation, you should check out the full lecture here.

feng shui for my body

Sooo basically, this is what I’ve concluded from this lecture, and the following is what I’ll be focusing on:

• eating my water! Each of our cells has living water in them that’s more like a gel substance (think grape, orange flesh, aloe) than drinking water. Drinking water doesn’t actually hydrate because it’s not living water. Eating your water means lots of fresh fruit and vegetables with living water, or cooking foods with water (steam, broth). I always always start my mornings with a bunch of fresh fruit (it never spikes my blood sugar like you might think) and jujube ginger tea and then I follow with a big breakfast.

• eliminating/limiting what creates more fire! Stimulants like coffee, caffeine, chocolate, garlic, and onion create more heat and instability and make it harder to balance the system. I’m Italian, so garlic and onion will be extremely difficult for me, but cutting out caffeine and minimizing other stimulants has been life-changing for me this past year.

• taking a beat! We’ll all be prone to more impulsiveness this year, so I’m taking notes, as impulsiveness is one of my prominent qualities. Instead of making split decisions, I’ll be taking a beat (pray for me). I mean, having a baby means I’ll have to slow down, but I’m going to remind myself that this isn’t anything to feel guilty about. Rather, it’s the most nourishing thing I can do for myself during this fire year.

feng shui for my home

Dr. Isabella brought in an expert in feng shui to share how we can help balance the energies in our homes. He has an extensive list (not all directions and recs are here) and recommended purchases, but here’s what I ended up doing:

If you want to do this, get out the compass on your phone!

Center of my house:

victory, fame, career, success

• Helpful element: wood

• Helpful color: green

• I have lots of wooden frames (with green photos in them), a wooden credenza, and eucalyptus in a vase.

Northwest

disease, sickness, imbalanced relationships

• Helpful element: metal

• Remedy: 6 coins, wu lu gord

• I got this wu lu gord off amazon and placed in on my shelf next to my mortar and pestle.

North

career, success, fame, reputation

• Helpful element: metal

• Helpful colors: white, gold, silver

• I have a silver mother mary holy water holder hanging on the wall that the previous owners left there.

South

misfortune, disaster, sudden illness

• Helpful element: metal

• Remedy: metal wind chime, salt water cure, gong

• I placed a salt water cure on my book shelf, I did this by filling up an open lid jar with 1/3-2/3 salt, placing 6 pennies face up, and filling the rest with fresh water. I put it on a plate because eventually it will overflow after sucking out all the negative energy.

Southeast

prosperity, happy events, celebration, wealth, luck

• Helpful elements: any

• Enhancement: 9 red lanterns, amethyst geode, rose quartz crystal

• I placed a rose quartz crystal on my book shelf

I love learning about different ancient modalities (trying what sounds fun and supportive without giving it too much weight), and the Chinese Zodiac and feng shui are no exception. I’ll report back throughout the year on my salt water cure and how I’ve been feeling with my badass, unruly horse baby girl (:

Let me know if you try any of the feng shui tips above!

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What’s Coming Up

4 Week Story Club: Women Who Run With The Wolves

A 4-week exploration & experience of Clarissa Pinkola Estés’ Women Who Run With The Wolves

❋ 1.5hr Zoom 1x per Week Story Circle  

We’ll meet once a week online where I’ll share the tale of the week. A recording of the story + practice will be available for those who can not attend.

❋ Somatic Practice 

Followed by a gentle somatic movement & mindfulness practice that plays on the theme of the story.

❋ Journal & Reflect 

After dropping into the body, we’ll move through guided journal prompts to explore how the theme mirrors our internal & external worlds.

❋ Open Discussion 

Open circle for sharing and community conversation.

We’ll meet for four Tuesdays at 730pm (recordings available for those who can’t attend)

• March 17

• March 24

• March 31

• April 7

Join us

So no clothes. No hair care.

The following will, however, be a list of what I’ll label as “care subscriptions.” The four (and one bonus) I praise below are subscriptions that help me care for myself in a simple yet deep way. They aren’t complicated or overwhelming, and they prove to be worth the price tag (at the very least). They show up for me, and I would go to battle for each of them.

go here to learn how I manifested our 1930s home, here to learn how to feng shui your body and home for the 2026 forecast, and here for how to create a vision book. Subscribe below to get them all.

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My 4 Reliables

Range

Surprise, surprise. If you’re on any good corner of the internet, you’ve seen Range: a movement platform for humans. Founder and teacher shows up to her live classes with Earl Grey tea in hand, candles lit, and a sheepskin on her mat. I, on the other hand, show up to her replays with ginger jujube tea in hand, pajamas on, no bra, and most of the time, hair down—unless it’s already up for some reason. You cannot convince me that sweating myself into oblivion under fluorescent lights is good for me.

Range has exactly what I want and everything I need. Right now, in pregnancy, Kara has been leading me through hip and pelvic mobility practices (Hip Homeostasis, Perinatal Core Quickie 2, and Thawing Out: Pelvic/Hip Glide + Strength), short weighted chapters, and a favorite that I once did for a month straight: Legs That Move Me.

As someone who has been so off and on with a movement practice through the years, Kara was truly a godsend. I feel good during and after her classes. That’s not something I could say after doing Jillian Michaels abs all throughout high school. It wasn’t long (see: from day 1) until I was craving my daily Range session. The movements put me in my body, not take me away from it. Her classes aren’t something to check off, but to check into. It might be the most present I am all day.

I love to think of the question: am I doing this because I love my body or because I hate my body? Staying consistent with Kara has proved, over and over again, that I move now because love my body—something I struggled with for a long, long time. I spent far too much of my life working out because I hated my body. Now, I move because I love it and want to support it through all stages of life.

And for all of these reasons and more, I am a Range for lifer.

Beauty Shamans Studio

Since I will never be getting Botox (not because I don’t want it, but because I’m a true hypochondriac and swear I would be the person who got all the side effects), I have Beauty Shamans subscription: a digital face yoga and massage studio with classes ranging from 10 minutes to 40.

Setting time aside for a class with founder, holistic esthetician, and guide Shelly puts me into my calmest mood—dare I say trance state—and I swear, when I am consistent (3-4 days a week) I see a major difference in the brightness of my eyes, lift of my face, and depth of my happy wrinkles.

Shelly is so knowledgeable about lymph, fascia, muscles, acupressure, and nervous system support that I found myself bringing in her tips and cues into other areas of my life. For example, the forehead is holds all our calming, sleepy, rest and digest points so before bed—BS sesh or not—I’ll use my knuckles or acu pen to massage the whole area. Ugh, I’m relaxed just thinking about it. Post-bath Beauty Shamans class? My most cherished night.

Innata Institute

Dr. Isabella is my girl. You may know her from when I interviewed her for the Regeneration issue of The Retreat last year (find the digital download here and the print issue here).

is a Qi Gong master, Doctor of Chinese Medicine, and acupuncturist (I use this word lightly—she’s not your typical acupuncturist). As a survivor of leukemia, her childhood shaped her lifelong commitment to a truer, and more beautiful, model of healing. She is the reason I’ve experienced so much magical healing over the past few years—and why I am a die-hard student of hers now, currently in the middle of my 100 Days of Medical Qi Gong Training with her and 40 other students.

Her online membership—available to patients and practitioners alike—makes it simple to follow ancient seasonal insights, yin and yang nutrition, and Qi Gong and meditation practices, with biweekly updates, recipes + guides, practices, and audio channelings to help you align your health with nature’s rhythms. I just feel SO good when I follow her teachings, and I’m so grateful that she shares them in this easy and accessible way.

Also (: a little birdie told me she is launching her Substack very soon: . Follow ASAP so you can experience what I’m talking about.

To Be Magnetic

I’ve been doing To Be Magnetic since it was Free & Native. I think almost eight years?! My dedication to work helped me get multiple dream bridge jobs, open & sell my yoga studio, sell out three in-person retreats, start The Retreat & get countless dream interviews, buy our dream 1930s farmhouse, and most importantly, come into a better, self-loving/trusting relationship with myself and my body. Bold to say, but it also helped me make the huge decision to pause my business to focus on myself and my health, which led to my pregnancy & rainbow baby (:

These days, I don’t do TBM daily or even multiple times per week (I love the challenges they host twice per year), but I always go in weekly for a nervous system reset meditation or journaling session. I love the self-love DI. I did it for 30 days straight in December, and it was such a beautiful, eye-opening experience. And really special to do with my baby girl in my belly.

Bonus: Rocket Money

I named this “subscriptions I would go into debt for” as a slight joke because I’m quite literally still living and learning from the mistakes my stupid college self made with credit cards and such. So, I would never actually go purposely into debt again, BUT that’s the metaphorical depth of my love for them. And who knows—never say never—but hopefully…never.

Getting a Rocket Money account rocked my world. I didn’t realize how many stupid subscriptions I was paying for and not using. Plus, having all of your spending and savings in one place makes it easy peasy to get an overview of your finances and make plans/decisions from there. I wish I had gotten this when I was in college. Silly girl for starting so late, but now that I’m at the party, I’m never leaving.

Now you know what I chalk up cash for. My money is happy to go to these places & people and I am happier & more me because of them. What subscriptions will you never give up even if your wallet told you you should?

A Few Promises
Mikko Harvey

A disco
for every
shut-in.

A bikini for every
introvert.

A staircase for
every stiletto.

A soft
wall for every
wallflower.

Yes, That’s When
Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer

I like my body when I’m in the woods
and I forget my body. I forget that arms,
that legs, that nose. I forget that waist,
that nerve, that skin. And I aspen. I mountain.
I river. I stone. I leaf. I path. I flower.
I like when I evergreen, current and berry.
I like when I mushroom, avalanche, cliff.
And everything is yes then, and everything
new: wild iris, duff, waterfall, dew.

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In a Beautiful World
Tess Guierny

In a beautiful world that has come to hooray the hustle, I find my sweet-loving soul rebelliously dancing to the contrary. For this season, Busy has no place. Busy cannot lasso my time—it is down by the river, sunbathing on silky rocks.

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The Revelation
Libby June Weintraub

what say you
of this grief?

holy.

what say you
of this rage?

holy.

what say you
of this death?

holy.

what say you of this disaster
this inability to stand
this devouring fire
the hopelessness
that scratches at my insides?

holy.

holy.

holy.

We have come to be danced
Jewel Mathieson

We have come to be danced
Not the pretty dance
Not the pretty pretty, pick me, pick me dance
But the claw our way back into the belly
Of the sacred, sensual animal dance
The unhinged, unplugged, cat is out of its box dance
The holding the precious moment in the palms
Of our hands and feet dance
We have come to be danced
Not the jiffy booby, shake your booty for him dance
But the wring the sadness from our skin dance
The blow the chip off our shoulder dance
The slap the apology from our posture dance
We have come to be danced
Not the monkey see, monkey do dance
One two dance like you
One two three, dance like me dance but the grave robber, tomb stalker
Tearing scabs and scars open dance
The rub the rhythm raw against our soul dance
We have come to be danced
Not the nice, invisible, self-conscious shuffle
But the matted hair flying, voodoo mama
Shaman shakin’ ancient bones dance
The strip us from our casings, return our wings
Sharpen our claws and tongues dance
The shed dead cells and slip into
The luminous skin of love dance
We have come to be danced
Not the hold our breath and wallow in the shallow end of the floor dance
But the meeting of the trinity, the body breath and beat dance
The shout hallelujah from the top of our thighs dance
The mother may I? Yes you may take 10 giant leaps dance
The olly olly oxen free free free dance
The everyone can come to our heaven dance
We have come to be danced
Where the kingdom’s collide
In the cathedral of flesh
To burn back into the light
To unravel, to play, to fly, to pray
To root in skin sanctuary
We have come to be danced
We have come

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Subscribe for what I’m reading, watching, learning, making, and trying.

More Reads:

• how we manifested our 1930s farmhouse

• a hill i’ll die on: vision book > vision board

my other substack, The Retreat (a digital taste of our print newspaper)

• how I started a snail mail newspaper with a global readership

A Hill I’ll Die On:
Vision Book > Vision Board

My parents recently turned my older brother’s bedroom into their ‘wellness room’. Complete with weights, a yoga mat, shakti mat, Peloton, rower, red light board, and their dog’s crate he doesn’t use anymore. They’re proud of it and I have text message proof that they actually use it.

Over the holidays, I spent my mornings in there stretching, meditating, and wondering if my brother’s room was always this small. Peeking out from behind the floor-length mirror was a corkboard plastered with magazine cutouts of the word strong and photos of fit bodies and the beach (not together). I recognized it immediately as the vision board my mom made years ago when she was on a mission to get back to when she was strong and could do one-armed handstands. While she will always be strong in my eyes, and while I have no doubt that one day she will get back to her one-armed handstands…she is still trying.

I don’t think it’s the vision boards fault—she did sprain her ankle and prefers to spend the majority of her days in her kitchen making the best food you’ll ever taste—I just don’t think the vision board is really helping and here’s why.

Problem 1: the spell fades

These days, we schedule one precious night to collage this magical thing that inevitably ends up gathering dust on a desk or wall. The intention is there, the fun is there, hell the magic is probably even there…but in my experience (and I must stress this is my experience) the magic eventually fades along with the intention and nothing comes to fruition like you hoped.

The hobby lobby canvas you put all your heart and dreams into becomes the pretty view outside your window that lost its spell on you because you look at it every damn day. Eventually, after walking past your vision board for the hundredth time you will feel nothing when you see that yacht on the Amalfi coast you cut out of Traveler Magazine. The goal here isn’t to feel the emotion of having the thing, person, experience once—it’s about being able to get into that feeling over and over and over again—and the core desire beneath it.

Problem number two: magazines.

Maybe its just me but magazines are limiting. They’re riddled with shitty ads and strangers and 9.9/10 times they don’t have the exact photo or phrase that stirs something up inside of you.

Most of the people you find in magazine are paid actors with really good photoshop. They’re not real. But you know who is real? That girl you know who spent a month in the Amalfi coast after switching from corporate to freelance and now has the time and budget. That kind of freedom and beauty and abundance is what you are after…and this girl has literally expanded your subconscious to make you see to believe its possible for you. You don’t necessarily have to cut out a photo of her on the Amalfi Coast—you can find a WFI (work from Italy) vibe on Pinterest or Instagram (I’ll bet $100 you won’t find the perfect image in a magazine) and journal on it, writing her name and reminding yourself it’s possible. I have a whole page of expanders’ names in my 2021 journal, many of whom I went on to interview for The Retreat.

Problem number 3: no action.

The board (and even the journal itself) won’t grant you your wishes just by promising to look at it everyday. You need to put in the action to turn your desires into a reality. Unless you give yourself consistent time to reflect you’re never going to know exactly what to do or have the motivation to do it.

Vision journaling offers space and time to write down necessary actions. We know that free writing unleashes ideas we didn’t even know were stuck inside of us dying to be unearthed. And we know that rewriting quite literally rewrites neural pathways (subconscious is where we manifest from).

~ Just writing a goal down increases our chances of achievement. I’ve found this to be even more true when its paired with a visual. ~

And this is where a beloved journal comes in…

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a vision journal is a portal

A vision journal is a portal. A book you can’t wait to open. A new chapter of your life you can’t wait to read. And re-read! It’s an heirloom for years after—and a story of what, how, why. It’s something you get to experience over and over again (and add to over and over again) instead of one night over bubblies with your girlfriends.

Since not just anyone will have eye access to your vision journal like your plumber might have to your vision board…it becomes a bit more sacred. A bit more serious.

and a practice

Four years ago I stopped vision boarding and started vision journaling. What started as an craving to collage and manifest turned into a full blown journaling practice. I didn’t start it on January 1st or for any other reason then fuck around, have fun, and find out.

I purchased a hardback, unlined journal from Amazon. I love breaking into a new spine and unlined leaves more room for imagination. This is the one I purchased this year because I wanted more room!

Then, I went onto Pinterest and printed out photos and quotes I wanted to embody. I flipped through and pasted my cutouts on random pages of my journal as an invitation for my future self to reflect on each of the images.

what is the core feeling and desire behind this?

Each time I opened the book, I discovered the many layers that lived beneath the photo or quote. Invaluable information. And I realized that a lot of the time, the thing I wanted wasn’t actually the literal thing in the photo, it was a deeper feeling beneath it. Safety, peace, creativity, freedom. I was able to tune into that each day, helping my nervous system expand and regulate to receive. Plus, I always wrote down expanders and action steps I took to get there.

The bonus of a book here is that there will be leftover blank pages for you to add to throughout the year. It’s an opportunity to support your inevitable evolution—you’re not stuck with the things you added or forgot to add on your one vision board night soiree.

Below is an example of my journal from 3 years ago and my dream to host retreats all over the world. The following 2 years I hosted two sold out retreats in Guatemala and Costa Rica.

what a vision journal is not

It’s important to note that a vision book is NOT

• a junk journal where you put a napkin you collected at a bar last Friday, ticket to a movie, or a sticker from your snail mail club (I’m sorry but as a snail mail company founder, I can not with the sticker clubs.) Have a junk journal by all means, but do not combine it with your vision journal

• a daily diary

• a place for morning pages

We don’t want to make it messy* and encroach on our dreams with the beef between you and a coworker or why you are repeating the same pattern with that moody boy for the 18769th time.

*(I use the word messy loosely because my journals do not contain perfect penmanship or beautifully crafted collages)

Your vision book is specifically for your intentions and dreams. While there aren’t any rules—I mean I’d be damned if I invented this—you can and I encourage you to include:

• a first page about what your hopes are for this book

• pinterest/IG photos (magazines if you find something really good)

• quotes

• polaroids

• watercolor paintings (watercolor paint sets & guidebooks are great but you can also get watercolor pens which are a bit easier in my amateur experience and fun)

• pressed flowers, leaves, fabric

• anything that elicits a feeling you want to embody or continue embodying

• I’m bias, but people love to use old issues of The Retreat for their vision casting

• expanders who have or embody these things

• action steps

Remember to:

• Leave space for journaling & pondering. I use my vision book as a self-made journal with prompts. Pics/quotes being the prompts. Sometimes I write as if I’m writing from the future or as if I’m saying a prayer of gratitude. It makes for a good journal prompt practice if you can’t stand another day of morning pages or want something fun and offline to do at night. It always puts you in a good headspace, guaranteed.

• Revisit it as often as you can. Even if you are not planning on journaling that day, you can still tune in by flipping through or simply reading your book.

That’s all for the first edition of a hill I will die on. Happy journaling.

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It took my husband a bit to get on board with the manifestation practices I’ve been working with for the past 8 years ~but~ over the winter we wrote a list for our dream home, did the TBM money course, passed a few tests, and found her!!!

The day before she popped up on Zillow, I asked him the number one thing he wanted in a house and he said ‘old farmhouse with character’ and I said ‘a big yard for our dogs and animals’

Meet our 1930s farmhouse on 2 acres.

I’m sharing this because our list seemed impossible — especially for our price range and in the area closest to our family.

I’m sharing this because we didn’t get it when we first put an offer in way over asking price (and with a heartfelt letter). Someone else did. But then, they backed out, and we got it. on closing day, the couple who owned the house said they never got our letter the first time around and cried when they read it. We ended up getting it for way less than our original offer, and in our budget.

I’m sharing this because we would spend weekends driving around Sugar Pike Junction dreaming of living there. The amount of times we passed the dead end road where our home sits tucked behind trees makes me laugh.

I’m sharing this because maybe you too have been driving around, passing your future home. Maybe your list seems impossible. I hope you know it’s not.

Looking back, here are the exact steps we took and what I’d encourage—especially if you are co-manifesting:

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How are the baby chicks? Mallory, The Retreat’s editor-in-chief, vm’ed me one spring morning.

Oh, they’re great! I told her. Still in the garage, though. They have to wait until they’re fully feathered to live outside.

Over the next few months, Mallory—a New Yorker newly transplanted to Upstate—would bring up that phrase again and again. “I’m obsessed with ‘fully feathered,’” she’d say. “I think you should name your Substack Fully Feathered.”

What she didn’t know was that the days prior, I’d couldn’t stop thinking about starting a personal Substack. I love creating and writing for The Retreat, but when you’re running a business—especially one built around monthly themes—there are natural limits to what you can share.

Fully Feathered is my new space to share freely solely for fun. No business to uphold. No crowd to please.

It’s an unedited ode to my six chickens and to those of us still growing into ourselves—fluff falling off, real feathers coming in. Even if we look ready, even if we’re already out in the world with our adult coats on, we’re still a little messy, confused, and pecking at the wrong things. But damn do we love to lay in the grass and relax in the sun.

It might sound like a serious (or God forbid, cheesy) Substack—but I promise it won’t be.

My unofficial plan is to share whatever I’m in the mood for: what I’m thinking, wearing, eating, making, buying (or trying not to buy), behind-the-scenes of running a print publication and in-person retreat business, renovating a 1930s farmhouse, and soon… lord willin’…getting knocked up.

Even with my “adult coat” on, I’m still very much finding my way—through the chaos of business, health, burnout, becoming a mother, relationships, and all the rest of life’s offerings.

Anyway, thanks Mal—and thank you, reader.

Welcome to Fully Feathered.

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