I just wanted to thank you for being a Subscriber to my Substack. It means a lot.

It took me literally almost 9 years to get out of writer’s block (or specifically, SHARING BLOCK) and so it feels so fun again to share again <3

As a thank you for being a Subscriber, I wanted to share a photo of my now-deceased but never-forgotten Russian Dwarf Hamster, named Jawiwi - sitting in his tiny toilet.

He was famously a judge in this #viral video

PRAISE SAINT JAWIWI!!!!

That is all. HAPPY WEDNESDAY.

Love,

Carlen

Hello from me, my disheveled art teacher hair-do, and a new manic pixie nightmare (dream?) girl episode that exists because the previous 48-minute version was erased (which was probably better for all of us…)

PS CAN SOMEONE BE A MANIC PIXIE DREAMGIRL WITHOUT ARTSY BANGS?!

In this episode, the train of thought/thot* chugs at various stops - from technology and unmasking to corn pasta pimples, the Three Sisters🌽🫘🎃, childhood bullying (and the times I have beat up bullies), a loud FedEx truck, LED-light geolocation, AI, and an adorable 90s mug that may be written in the pre-curser to Comic Sans. (ie: a typical Tuesday episode.)

The central idea is that technology is a reflection of its programmers, and programmers are a reflection of their inner programs.

We discuss my EMF sensitivity and how many sensitive, creative, neurodivergent, strange people like me (and likely you if you vibe with my writing) have rich strange inner worlds, but the editing, financial urgencies, marketing, noise, stimulation, and intense technological toiling required to engage with society and share those quiet worlds via art/inventions/a job can exhaust us before we reach anyone.

We have a culture that has simultaneously pathologized and parasitized off of creativity, sensitivity and Source at once and we are #OverIt.

The sun simply won’t allow us to live in the dark ages any longer. 🧬☀️

Our souls simply won’t allow us to be taken advantage of anymore.

But how do we evolve?

Thinking outside of the box.

No longer dimming our light or running from our darkness.

Thanking all the programs that we have been forced to deprogram from.

I have love for all the bullies and stealers who tried to dim our collective lights (it is a strange compliment, isn’t it?)

Ultimately it made us stronger and funnier for it.

Do you know how strong we are?!!!

You know we did not come here for the Orwellian doompill Timeline, but for the Golden Age where animals, plants and humans hang out all day and we have technology that CLEANS THE DISHES INSTEAD OF JUST WRITING POETRY, and I refuse to energize anything other than that any longer.

Enjoy today’s episode and thank you for tuning into my frequency as we get freque-ier and freque-ier.

On Today’s Manic Episode

In today’s episode we discuss the Three Sisters - corn, beans, and squash (NOT POTATO! I MADE AN OOPSY!)

HAVE YOU HEARD OF THE 3 SISTERS?!!?

I think about how this planting system has become a beautiful metaphor for what I want instead: not forcing every organism to become tougher alone, but creating an ecosystem in which we help one another grow.

In this episode, also clarify what I mean in our LAST EPISODE when I say success is not abandoning oneself.

I don’t see my goal of “no longer abandoning myself” as becoming “selfish” or unholy; I mean we must question a culture that treats martyrdom/depletion as proof of goodness/holiness.

Like many other well-intentioned humans, I spent much of my life trying to “save the planet” at the expense of myself and my ability to meet my basic financial needs.

Now I’m GUZZLING FROM SINGLE USE PLASTIC STRAWS and LOVING IT interested in building 1-800-EARTH, a quiet Dumb City, relationships, products, and technology that sensitive people can actually live with and thrive with.

Maybe we aren’t a “lazy, stupid, or broken” species as the insensitive have theorized; maybe we are seeds waiting for the right conditions - which this time is all about.

I hope to help make it easier for all of us through my company 1-800-EARTH and much more…🌎 (without abandoning myself ever again)

On that note, I am actively now seeking investors, product engineers and support for my company 1-800-EARTH so holler at me over at GROWN-UP LinkedIN if you wish to connect or see my visions come to life more quickly; or send me a message directly via Substack or by replying to this email after watching this episode.

Show notes

• 00:00 — My disheveled aunt joke, rabbit shirt, erased episodes, and creative friction: Why having an idea is often easier than navigating the technology required to share it.

• 05:12 — The Three Sisters: Corn, beans, and squash as a model for mutual support—and why the Earth apparently assigned me (and a friend) this #SquashGoal.

• 09:41 — Bullying, grief, and comedy as alchemy: What it can cost to be strange and sensitive, and whether pearls can also be formed through goodness. (Includes discussion of suicide and grief so just a heads-up/hearts-up 🫀)

• 14:19 — Quiet, sensory overwhelm, and sensitive systems: The FedEx truck makes a guest appearance while I explain why environments matter.

• 22:29 — Success without self-abandonment: Sustainable service, the LED-light rabbit hole, 1-800-EARTH, Dumb City, AI, and retiring from martyrdom.

Links mentioned

• Corn, Beans, and Squash: What the Three Sisters Tell Us

• Towards smart sustainable cities using Li-Fi technology: geo-location infrastructure utilizing LED street lights

A note on the LED detail: In the episode, I mention that LED lights can potentially be used for surveillance purposes but make it clear that I don’t know whether it is true that this is why incandescent bulbs were replaced with LED lights. The paper linked above shows how LED streetlights can be used as Li-Fi transmitters and geolocation infrastructure, and it notes that security and privacy remain open issues. It doesn’t prove the theory - but it does show that lighting can also function as a communication and positioning system, which is interesting enough on its own. : )

That said, I refuse to live in a constant frequency of fear ever again no matter what is going on, and that is my greatest life hack I can offer on this Substack. <3

We are here to turn the lights on.

If you’d like to energize this work, I invite you to become a paid subscriber for $5 a month. You’ll receive occasional bonus surprises, a private chat with FeLloW EliTeS, and your support helps give these ideas the time, attention, and resources they need to grow. 🌱

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Or share this with an angel doofus that you love.

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Love,

Carlen

I don’t know why my eyes glitched at 5:12 and 9:50- so weird. AM I REPTILIAN

I love my family so much and I believe that everyday - as more things become uncovered - I become closer to my family, not farther.

I truly believe that everyone is trying their best - we just have not been taught healthy communication and emotional regulation - and so we are all here making up for lost time.

Some questions for reflection after watching this episode.

Can you ask your intuition the answer before AI? When did you learn to stop trusting your intuition? Can you hear it?

What if your intuition speaks through the body not just the mind?

Can you allow yourself to be exactly who you are?

Can you allow your parents to be exactly who they are?

Without making you wrong?

Without making them wrong?

Many of our parents were taught not to have emotions or needs.

They numbed their lifeforce to repress this energy.

When you don’t numb yourself, you are breaking the pattern.

When you don’t numb yourself, you are breaking ThE MatRiX LoL

Can I Get An Amen (with Fries?)

If you find value in what I share and wish to financially energize my work, become a Paid Subscriber <3 or share this with a friend who may reson8

Share

Subscribe now

And if you wish to work with me, find me at my website.

Love,
Carlen

Did you enjoy the Eclipse?

I am terrible at small talk so I felt now would be the perfect time to ask if you knew that the founder of Kellog’s Cornflakes made them to turn off our s*x drives and was a big proponent of red light therapy?

WAS TONY THE TIGER A BIOHACKING EUNICH!?!?

Below is a stream of consciousness video Masterclass on becoming unemployable “shadow work” regarding rejection sensitivity.

Part 1 is free and super goofy, but there is a method to my ‘madness’ and I hope you can feel my sensitivity and sincerity under the jokes and homely presentation…

Part of me making this Substack is allowing my OWN weirdness/perfect imperfections/sensitivity to rejection come up - and risk being misunderstood - which is the risk we take when we share ourselves and our unique being/art - which is just God’s Farts.

We are all God’s Farts.

CAN I GET AN AMEN? (#crickets)

OK but if God was not funny, why would we have pygmy marmosets?

If God was not funny, why would we have the dumbest news ever?

If God was not funny, why would we be here? :( :)

It is not up to us to decide whether God’s Fart “stink” - only to allow.

Enjoy today’s stream of consciousness.

I dont know why my face glitched at 3:07 - AM I AI??!??!?!

PS DON’T YOU WISH WE HAD A FART CORNER GROWING UP?!

All art is “simultaneously “shadow work” - and “light work” - and there is no way out of our own inner shadows/darkness - but through. :)

We have a culture that does not know how to take a joke or “lighten up” - and this is a sign it is in need of great healing - shaking out of stagnancy, on a somatic, ideological and spiritual level.

If you are afraid to be yourself, please know that social media is not an indication of humanity’s potential or tolerance. <3

Social media and media is not an indication of humanity’s collective division. <3

Social media and media is like a lower consciousness spell to keep us unconscious/divided. <3

We break that spell everytime we unite our brain hemispheres.

We break that spell every time we shake out stagnancy from our own being.

(As mentioned, I really like TRE for this purpose - but as always, nothing I say is medical advice.)

We can break that spell every time we accept ourselves and others exactly as they are.

We break that spell every time we risk being real.

Also, not to sound like the most annoying cliched Substack person in the world but I feel so much better since deleting social media, and now I have more “life force” to put towards other things - and if you are on the fence, I highly recommend deleting it if you are trying to increase your quality of life.

(EVEN THOUGH THIS VIDEO INCREASED MY QUALITY OF LIFE)

This is why I envision making my own social media company as part of 1-800-EARTH so we can enjoy funny things and people without all the shady stuff associated with mainstream platforms.

If we want to ‘expand consciousness’, how can we do so when we are bottling up parts of ourselves or dissociating from our own deviations from the norm?

How can we stop the dimming of light when we are dimming our own light?

AS ABOVE, SO BELOW :)

When we hold back our fullness as a means to avoid pain or rejection, aren’t we rejecting ourselves?

Is being rejected or feeling pain intolerable - or have we just been taught to run from it? (From a somatic perspective, it CAN feel intolerable - which is why I have been figuring this out so much!)

OK ENOUGH SMALL TALK - ARE YOU READY FOR SOME “TIPS AND TRICKS AND SECRETS on the topic of rejection and alchemy?”

Part 2 is super goofy but has some powerful lessons BEHIND THIS ELECTRIC FENCE which I do hope you will join me as a Paid Subscriber and help energize this “train of thot”*

(BUZZZZZZ! JUMP OVER THE FENCE AS A PAID SUBSCRIBER!)

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We will look back on this time of history and see how primitive it is - and equally have greater love and compassion for ourselves as to why many sensitive souls have not actualized our highest creative potential (just yet)

We have not all started from an equal playing field and are putting the pieces together so we and future generations have a more solid-place to stand on, in spite of any impending mud floods or resets.

(PS IS THE CABBAGE PATCH KID CONSPRIRACY TRUE!??!! LOL)

Regardless of what civilizations or history has come before us - we are here to close all those outdated books/his-stories and timelines and have our own “great reset”;

As my celebrity crush Yuval Noah Harari said: “Humans are hackable animals” - but we are here to hack ourselves back to our organic nature and our organic timeline.

But how?

It all starts in going back to the beginning - our birth (or really, conception)

The word conception is very telling/fascinating because in some ways, we are just a “Concept “or Idea - made manifest into physical form or Being through the love of our mother and father, an electric spark.

Our mental ideas are also concepts and electric sparks (think of the “idea symbols as a lightbulb”)

It is up to us which ideas we “birth” and raise to maturation, via our art and inventions.

It is up to us whether we nurture our bodies with proper electrolytes (inner lighting), minerals, nutrients and adequate breathing and all the other spirits (re-spir-ation/etc)

In order for us to truly move forward as a spiritualized ascending species, it is important that we first heal the Birth Journey, (without villainizing modern medicine/doctors), many who are just doing the best they can based on their education.

If you saw our last video, my goal is to stop feeding box-like thinking - and this is especially true for the way we are taught to either glorify or villainize mainstream medicine/doctors and I refuse to do that.

I truly believe that everyone is doing the best they can.

I have met many snake oil salesmen in the alternative/functional medical community and equally I trust they too are “just doing their best”…

Our goal is to arm ourselves with as much information as possible so we can be our healthiest, happiest, most fruitful versions - where we bring our idea seeds (whether art or babies) to fruition (and perhaps to market via selling/offering our wares - BUT NOT OUR LITERAL CHILDREN…)

I dream of a day where have no forced selling of anything/anyone in the future - realizing every beings intrinsic nature and need for love - and instead giving and buying from a place of mutual love, not financial urgency.

Let’s go back to birth for a second…

In modern birth, many babies are extremely afraid/confused by ultrasound technology (I have never interviewed a baby on this but here are some sources: here and here); then many babies are born through Cesarian Section, which - while a very life-saving technology - can still make it so the baby does not get the mother’s optimal bacterial profile from the vaginal/birth canal.

Upon birth, many babies are then separated from their mothers for hours at a time, and this amplifies the shock/separation experience where we went from feeling ALL ONE to ALONE.

Again, my goal is to never blindly denigrate or pedestalize modern medicine or home births; I believe that while natural is preferred, binary thinking is antithetical to expansion of consciousness and true healing for the very systems I hope to help change in a positive trajectory.

Feeling disconnected from a parent during the birth process can lead to what is known as “insecure attachment” which can lead to all kinds of issues in life later on - mostly rooted in a feeling “I am not safe/I am alone” which can then impact our sense of faith/security and the day-to-day actions we take in life.

Our “timeline” is impacted directly not just by astrology or some spiritual influencer’s Youtube video, but just as much by the actions we take everyday - and we can change this when we feel more secure internally/physically/spiritually, and walk faithful in the direction of our dreams instead of our fears, holding the hand of our fears as we go.

How many of us have navigated childhood feeling unsafe and alone?

How many of us are navigating life now feeling unsafe and alone?

DON’T WORRY, THE NSA IS ALWAYS WATCHING LOL

In the birth process, bright hospital lights, cold metal devices, and the unnatural lying down position of birth (thanks to King Louie XIV’s fetish) has created a very barbaric system that brings children into the world feeling deeply unsafe, and many mothers feeling helpless on what to do.

Additionally, many mothers and fathers have no idea what to eat before/during pregnancy - and this can set her/the baby up for nutritional depletion later in life, a lower tolerance to stress - which can fuel mental illness and even domestic violence as a result of this.

(Note: RANDOM QUESTION but do you have a tongue tie??? According to nutritionist Kaleigh Mason (HI KALEIGH), tongue ties are apparently connected to the role of maternal malnourishment - which is very common in our culture and something I have been navigating as well! See her great article on raising a health baby HERE) and a shoutout to my new friend/Substack subscriber Allison who writes wonderful articles on birth HERE)

Having a tongue tie is not just a casual visual thing, but often an indication of improper fetal development; an abnormal tongue/mouth and jaw development can impact our entire nervous system which impacts whether we feel relaxed in this world or not, into adulthood.

So many people I know who have had tongue tie releases feel deeply relaxed for the first time in their lives - and I am considering this procedure (as a last resort)

Should I open a healing spa/hotel offering tongue tie release and exorcisms called “The Last Resort???”

SOMEONE DO IT! :-D

In infancy, a lack of breast feeding - which is very common in our culture - can also hinder a child’s facial/jaw development; which can impede breathing, exacerbating feelings of unsafety - and even physical beauty.

The book BREATH by James Nestor (available in print and as an audiobook) goes into this in detail.

Couple all of this with a childhood where we don’t know what to eat (especially for sensitive/neurodivergent/highly creative children), where we witness violence in our family’s and onscreen; where we are discouraged from crawling in dirt (helpful for the microbiome) and encouraged to only write with one hand (amplifying only one side of our brain) and and no wonder we have many people who feel too sick and frozen to move forward in life and too “left brained” to create.

DO YOU SPEND YOUR TIME THINKING OF ALL THIS STUFF OR IS IT JUST ME ;)

I have been putting all the pieces together like a strange puzzle as I am deeply passionate about reverse-engineering my own health and helping others get free WITHOUT EVER MAKING MEDICAL CLAIMS lol

Knowing what to eat for optimal pregnancy, knowing how to navigate romance so we attract safe loving partnerships, knowing how to love ourselves unconditionally (despite all the messaging that told us otherwise) are the names of the game.

While this society is deeply primitive, just look at how much progress we have made collectively putting the pieces together with the help of the internet, which can be used as a tool or a master.

While there have been many terrible practices in our culture for centuries, we have the opportunity now to shift the paradigm starting with the way we take care of ourselves and our families, knowing that everyone did the best they could with the level of tools and consciousness available to them.

It brings me so much joy to meet other like-minded people who are on a journey of self-actualization and I thank you for following along with this Substack and my train of thot*.

Love,

Carlen

BONER APPETIT

Paired with:

Notes on today’s episode:

(I erased the past episode filmed in Mexico where I used the adjective “deplorable” which nobody uses anymore…)

Book referenced:

The Hood Health Handbook

Ideas referenced:

Everyday, we see a barrage of content on screens that brings much of our discontent.

“BREAKING NEWS - HORRIBLE STUFF HAPPENED”

“OK NOW HERE’S A DOG WEARING A TOPHAT!”

“THIS BRAND OR PERSON OR GROUP IS GOOD - AND THIS BRAND OR PERSON OR GROUP IS BAD!”

“GOODNIGHT!”

(rinse, repeat)

In the words of character Howard Beale from the 1970’s movie Network…

“I’m mad as Hell/happy as Heaven and I’m not gonna take it anymore”

How do we shift society?

Replace the network.

Replace the channel.

Of information - and wealth.

A channel is where water flows;

A spiritual channel is where information flows.

I am here to be a new tele-vision “channel” unlike anything that currently exists.

Nothing I say is scripted.

And yet I have planned this show/my work for YEARS.

I am a continuation of my father - comedian Bob Altman, a teacher of George Carlin’s and writer for Richard Pryor; my father was a true revolutionary whose act was “too risqué for the airways”

Why?

Because he and I are here to clean up the airways and air itself - not with hate of corporations, but of love and curiosity of the souls who have led these corporations.

WE ARE INSANE

Insanity is “risqué” or a risk to the Old Paradigm.

But the Old Paradigm is ready for something new.

We have had the oversanitization of our soils and our souls and this is why we need a holy jolt of something new.

I refuse to fit into boxes - and that is the WHOLE POINT.

My art is fibrous and strange, like a strange meal.

Most people eat fiber and get sick - thinking it is the fiber that made them sick, when maybe it is the fiber activating their bodies healing abilities.

Most people avoid triggers because they think that it will overwhelm them - but maybe triggers are exactly what we need - not in the form of a bullet or sword that kills but in a word that speaks creation.

I am here to use my words to create, not to destroy.

ABRACABADRA BABY

We are constantly creating and consuming - but never processing, digesting, assimilating and ‘excreting’ the information, thus leading to collective indigestion or a “high allostatic load”, which leads people into freeze and dissociation, something I have been pulling myself out of (which you can read about in our last post for Paid Subscribers)

I hope you enjoy this meal and excrete/share it with others.

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Become a Paid Subscriber if you want to energize this train of thot (not a typo)

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thot = a provocative woman lol

Love,
Carlen

I have.

And I know how confusing and shame-inducing it can be.

I tried antidepressants, hypnosis, plant medicine, self affirmations, heart wall removal/Emotional clearing and tons of other modalities; everything I tried helped to some degree - but nothing seemed to fully help me come out of freeze - until now.

(Part of a meditation on “clearing the air” on all levels which I am designing in ai - stay tuned! It will be weird, of course…)

I believe the reason I am finally coming out of “freeze mode” is:

Read more

We go into these topics and more in this video - which was longer than expected!

PS If you want a surprise sticker from my sticker collection, leave a comment or send me a message directly in the Subscriber Chat feature of Substack and I will mail it out to you for free (minus Domestic/International shipping costs)

(This is an offer for Paid Subscribers only)

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Some notes on this episode:

non-small talk questions

What are you currently afraid of most and most angry about?

Do you feel safe to sit with that feeling?

(There is no rush, I am just curious…)

How can we sit with and alchemize these emotions?

For me, it is speaking, movement, and action - but first sitting with these emotions, which have been waiting to be felt - sometimes for decades.

Every trigger is the opportunity for us to come face to face with the internal patterning within our psyche and fascia that led us to subconsciously magnetize harmful but familiar dynamics - here to make us conscious and be composted/alchemized from darkness to light - constriction to freedom.

(Note: I do not believe we “manifest” harm or abuse to “teach us”; If you are in an abusive dynamic, it is not your fault. <3 Please seek help by calling 311/911 or your local source of protection)

We have not been encouraged to sit with the full range of our emotions - however, it is only when we sit with our feelings (all of them!), can we listen to their message - not through rushing, but with welcome - which is something some of us have never gotten in life.

are you afraid of the dark?

Let’s play Devil’s/Angel’s advocate for a moment…

When a child is afraid of the dark/monsters, do we mock them?

(Hopefully not!)

We must allow that child to express their fears of the darkness without shaming them for their fears - while simultaneously turning on the light gently and lovingly, so we can shine a light and let that child know they are not alone, and therefore have nothing to fear.

THAT BEING SAID - (Angel’s advocate coming in!!!) - while in many cases, there are no monsters in children’s bedrooms, just shadows - in some other cases, there may literally potentially be ‘monsters’ (unseen spirits) that this child really does see in their room; it’s just that we as adults just might not be able to see them due to our eroded sensitivity.

Some children are extremely psychic and can sense energies that are invisible to the naked fluoridated 3rd eye. Just because we can’t see what they see, does that mean it isn’t “real”?

Perhaps this “counter argument” for validating children’s fears sounds ‘crazy,’ however throughout history, many people of all ages have experienced supernatural experiences that others cannot comprehend…

👻 (why do they wear sheets?!)

Do ghosts of KKK members wear a double sheet with a point?

Who does the laundry for the KKK?

What if a klan member got barbecue sauce on their klan robe right before the Annual Hate Barbecue?

SORRY I AM BAD AT SMALL TALK!!!

Going back to ghosts and fears - in society, some sensitive people can see evil hidden under sheets even when others can’t.

Some people cry from the rooftop that there are monsters in our society and running society - even if the news ignores these concerns and mocks them as conspiratorial or paranoid.

Whether it’s on medical hesitancy,concerns over GMOs in our food and medical supply, and other sometimes divisive and triggering topics - concerned people all around the world have been ridiculed as being ignorant, stupid, and crazy for voicing opinions that go against the norm.

As someone who has experienced sickness and trauma at the hands of mainstream medicine and allergies to GMO foods, I know first hand that this fear/apprehension doesn’t mean these fearful people are automatically ‘crazy’, they just might be more fine-tuned to seeing and intuiting unseen forces, recognizing patterns and historical examples of untrustworthiness, and have been mocked and ridiculed as “crazy” or “conspiracy theorists”

Simultaneously, fearful people and medical providers who are infuriated by the vaccine-hesitant MAHA moms and conspiracy theorists deserve to have their fears listened to at well.

Everyone deserves to have their fears and frustrations listened to so we can bring everything to the surface and realize we all want the same thing - love, freedom and safety. (AND FREE GUACAMOLE)

Equally, nothing is black or white.

Some times, people may be unhealed and unwell/misinformed on what they are seeing as true (especially with the barage of biased educations and news sources, AI/conflicting news sources which seem to cancel each other out), and what seemed like a monster or societal threat may actually just be a shadow or deeply misunderstood.

It is all so confusing which is why we have an extremely divided society and something that I hope to change from division to vision with this Substack and my other tele-vision programs.

The shamanic journey of awakening does not leave people in the underworld without following with an integration.

Both mainstream news and conspiratorial news shares deeply unsettling images and then leaves people to their own devices (literally) without ANY type of integration.

BREAKING NEWS - EVERYTHING IS HORRIBLE

NOW BACK TO A CHEERFUL TV SHOW and COMMERCIAL TO ANESTHETIZE YOUR WOES!

In the words of my favorite film Network: “I am mad as Hell and I am not going to take it anymore”

We must also compassionately hold space for humanity’s fears, without needing to validate their worldview as universal truth - and following this revelation with integration, so we can alchemize darkness into light - instead of stay frozen in inaction.

This goes for monsters, our own fears of failure, “conspiracy theories” and much more.

We must compassionately allow expression and fears to rise to the surface - to be exposed, with an adult sense of reality/agency to change or leave the fearful stimuli, otherwise “learned helplessness” sets in (which has been the case for many citizens who have checked out and given up in life due to a feeling of overwhelm…)

When it comes to much of our culture’s mistrust of mainstream medicine and biotechnology, do we mock them as “stupid” and censor their concerns - or can we have compassion for where these apprehensions came from?

From Tuskegee experiments to Agent Orange lawsuits to the Epstein Files - is it really so unfathomable that society could we be collectively deceived and rightfully paranoid?

When it comes to our culture’s frustration with conspiracy theorists and what is perceived as dangerous misinformation, can we have compassion for where their fears come from as well?

I am saying this as a neutral party who truly sees all sides and is neither paranoid nor naive.

I SEE BOTH SIDES LIKE CHANEL!!!!

The simple question remains - the more we censor fears of institutions, are we really bringing balance and healing - or creating more imbalance?

The more we repress our fears and other emotions - are we really actually healing?

Through my own journey, I’ve found that the more we repress things, the more these fears ironically grow - and this is why allowing fears of all kinds to come to the surface and explore them neutrally - armed with REAL facts and not biased propaganda/fear mongering from either mainstream and alternative sources is the way we move forward, hand in hand.

Neutrality and true balance is necessary for us to get a full picture of any topic, so we can turn the proverbial lights on. 🕯️

I have compassion for people afraid of anything - and would never mock someone as “asleep” or “crazy” for their viewpoints.

Simultaneously, as we know - not everything we read on the internet is true - and this goes for both mainstream ideas as well as conspiratorial ideas.

If we want true healing of the division we witness on this planet (and di-vision within ourselves), I believe we must not mock or dismiss other people’s fears, and especially our own.

Fear is the frequency which has run many parts of our minds/this planet for most people due to war, poverty, resulting PTSD and much more.

I have spent the last decade crip-walking my way out of the collective grave of freeze.

This alchemy has been made possible by gradual maturity, which came as a result of unthawing my own nervous system and connecting with my intuition above all else, which paints a very positive reality for this planet in spite of the headlines and lines in the sky.

<⛅️ 🌞 the Sun is my sky Daddy 💋 👅 and I am here to taste the actual rainbow 🌈 >

Remember, the rainbow is the meeting of rain and sun - which is symbolic of the way we must meet our own tears (emotional rain) with laughter (making light) for full spectrum lighting aka the ascension and freedom journey.

CAN I GET AN AMEN BRUH?

Whether alchemizing our own inner turmoil or collective - we must sit with all inner views and feelings and hold our fears/feelings like a child, the way we should have been gently held, and perhaps need to be held now - firstly by ourselves; welcoming EVERYTHING and everyone to the table - even those who we have felt oppressed by.

#RecordScratch?!

(More on that soon)

<3

Equally, even when there have been literal or proverbial monsters to be afraid of in life (whether technocrats, clandestine eugenicists posing as angels, etc), so much of the paralysis many feel comes from feeling alone and helpless in our ability to change things; which leads to “learned helplessness” and dissociation, which social media can amplify with it’s overstimulation, fear mongering and biased news - leading to confusion, burnout and detachment.

Do you relate?

This is one of the many reasons I am deleting my social media as I wish to be more present to my OWN dissociation/fears of ‘untrustworthy authority’ (which started in childhood), instead of running from my emotional sensations, which are nothing to fear.

To be clear, I do not explicitly think all biotechnology or vaccines are harmful or malicious - nor do I intend to endorse mass generalizations about any complex topic, especially public health.

I do however think we have a very myopic viewpoint on health - and will look back to realize that our genetics are not just a bunch of strands of data - but Spiritual Source Code, which - when tampered with by profit-driven companies, can lead to both physical and spiritual stunting of development in the name of profit and artificial gatekeeping on all levels.

This type of unorthodox thinking is exactly why I don’t fit into mainstream or conventional alternative boxes, while respecting them both equally.

As someone who is both deeply educated in a classical sense and deeply sensitive to the unseen world, I have a more nuanced and complex viewpoint on all of these topics, and simultaneously recognize not everyone has clairsentience/metacognition like I do; this is why every topic needs to be handled with great care for everyone of all belief systems.

That being said, no opinion is “wrong” or “right”; I just don’t want someone enforcing their opinions on me using force- and I would never want to enforce my opinion on someone through force.

I believe every decision needs to be made from informed consent - and with multiple viewpoints brought to the table, even those we disagree with.

Rather than running from what and who triggers us, I believe that we need an entirely New Paradigm on every level of facing the dark/unknown with love and light.

Since everything macro starts first in the micro, I believe this Paradigm Shift first starts by us sitting with ourselves (whatever our viewpoints) and ALLOWING everything (including our OWN darkness/exiled ‘parts’) - similar to the ‘conflicting parts of society’ - to come to the surface, without repression - and without necessarily giving credence to all belief systems just to stay polite or palatable.

This act of “allowing” is why I’m no longer emotionally or creatively repressed; why I’m able to express and not stuck in fight or flight for the first time in my life.

When we repress the dark, we repress the light - and this is the alchemical journey of ascension

Descend

Ascend

Descend

Ascend

Contract

Expand

Contract

Expand

This is the birthing process of Self and Earth.

The Youtuber Sam Miller of The Great Allowing has some incredible videos on this reframe of allowing which has aided me greatly - allowing our emotions, without making them the captain of our ships.

When we have someone securely grounded with us (ideally a parent, trauma-informed facilitator or other loved one to physically and emotionally co-regulate with us) - aka someone to hold our hand as we face fears instead of invalidating our fears or emotions - we will likely get closer to the truth and relief, from a healthy grounded place.

💓💓💓💓💓

I’m here if you’d like to book a session with me at my website.

I truly believe that if we really want to combat anxiety, “misinformation” or “fake news”(whether societally, or in our own minds), we must allow people/ourselves to bring ALL fears and emotions to the surface, while exploring these fears somatically, nutritionally and otherwise - armed with love, maturity and neutrality for our findings.

Cultivating internal safety (via safe housing, relationships, eating enough, etc) is a pre-requisite to sustainable “activism” and something many of us have been lacking, which is why I have gone back down to the bottom of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs to meet my own inner needs before telling anyone how to “wake up”

I am working on becoming financially free so I can live somewhere safe, with clean air and water - knowing that in spite of all the pollution on this planet, peace is possible - and this is just a temporary time of history.

As Sonny and Cher sang - the Beat Goes On…

We must not get so wrapped up in the cacophony of the screen that we forget to enjoy the sunset or find the beauty and stickers in life…

PS I rewatched this video before posting and noticed I made a typo. I said I used DefenderShield case when I meant to refer to a cellphone case company called SafeSleeve.* Check out Kaleigh’s article analyzing cellphone cases and other tech products. I am always learning and growing and just like AI, sometimes I make mistakes ;)

PS I truly am grateful for all the experiences I have had in life, even where my sensitivity and creativity was simultaneously dismissed and exploited; I learn from all experiences and never regret giving to others, even if they are dishonest.

Despite moments of immaturity, I remember that my cup never runs out when I give from my heart, even if I have experienced heartbreak.

That being said, if we truly want to “save the planet”, we must first stop allowing ourselves to be exploited in the name of activism or being a “good person” - and this is a larger topic to be addressed soon…

In the meantime…

May we breathe into all pain and grief in a way we can handle, and alchemize all Darkness into Light.

May we all learn a way of giving to others in a sustainable way that is mutually replenishing.

We are also deserving of the love we give to others.

This is the New Paradigm.

Thanks for being here as we all get free.

(One of my favorite songs as a child. It is literally so good.)

Love,

Carlen

My new fancy refurbished computer arrived in the mail yesterday so GOOD NEWS FOR US BOTH - I CAN RECORD VIDEOS AGAIN.

#CollectiveGroan

Today we talk about a bunch of random things. Enjoy some unfunny jokes as I alienate myself from everyone except for you.

Below is my favorite piece of art - enjoy.

Also below is one of the somatic based trauma healing I shared, called TRE aka TRE Trauma Healing - a technique to heal soldiers (soul.diers) of external and internal wars.

Some Long Term TRE users have experienced miracles however nothing I share is medical advice.

Since doing this along with other practices, I feel much safer in my body which I believe is correlated with a greater safety in letting go of art/ideas/being seen, in spite of an apocalypse - [the irony of the Apocalypse (from my apoca.lips) being that as we expand the Apocalypse unveiling within aka we let ourselves go, we help expand the external Apocalypse externally]

AS ABOVE SO BELOW

On the topic of letting go(d)- If you are in a complete state of writer’s block or creative dissociation (or general freeze state), you may sincerely want to look into TRE as an area of focus on your healing and humor journey.

THANKS FOR WATCHING. ENJOY THIS HEARTWARMING PHOTO :(

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BECOME A PAID SUBSCRIBER OR MY MOM HAS TO JOIN ONLY FANS AND SHE HAS A BUNION :(

GUESS THE MOVIE!?

When I was in my twenties, I bought the domain HowToGetYourShitTogether.com.

At the time, I thought it was going to be a funny self-help thing.

Maybe a book? Maybe a website? Or an app. OH WAIT, MAYBE A JOURNAL!

Maybe a place where I would eventually reveal the secrets of becoming a disciplined, organized, productive adult “GROWN-UP” who woke up early, answered emails on time, folded fitted sheets, paid bills before the late fees, and somehow became the kind of person who wore matching socks, “meal-prepped” without eating all my food in 2 days (#EpigeneticTraumaAlertOrParasites?), and did other normal people things - the kind of things you associate with “getting your sh*t together”

Basically, I thought I would one day figure out how to become normal.

I spent almost 20 years being mad at myself for not becoming that person.

Despite being able to write award-winning films and seem vaguely normal on the surface, I felt like a fake-succesful person; mad at myself because I couldn’t do basic ‘grown up stuff’ like remember to pay bills or sound linear in emails.

I felt embarrassed that I couldn’t just “get it together” for more than 2 days.

YOU MEAN I HAVE TO MAKE FOOD… EVERYDAY?!!?!

I felt ashamed that I was “too sensitive”, according to my parents.

I felt insecure and scared that I needed so much rest and couldn’t wake up before 9am consistently.

I felt frustrated that I could see patterns other people missed but couldn’t always follow basic instructions.

I felt annoyed that I could write, perform, invent, connect dots, feel everything, understand complex systems, and make people laugh - but still struggled with consistency, money, time, organization, and the basic logistics of life.

I thought the problem was ME.

For my entire life, I made myself a “fix it” project.

When my dad passed away in 2017 and I experienced burnout/a spiritual awakening/nervous system break down, I spent years hoping one day I would “bounce back” and become the SUPER PROFESSIONAL GROWNUP I ALWAYS WANTED.

I thought if I tried harder, healed harder, disciplined myself harder, organized harder, journaled harder, detoxed harder, therapized harder, spiritually evolved harder, and maybe bought one more planner or funky notebook, I would finally become the GROWN ASS woman I was supposed to be and finally “get my sh*t together” as an artist and entrepreneur, with a coherent brand identity and personal aesthetic.

(Spoiler alert: 14 planners did not save me! #rude)

Over time, I began to realize something that changed my entire premise of ‘getting my sh*t together”:

What if “getting your shit together” was never supposed to mean becoming someone else and fitting into the typical ‘success’ mold of society?

What if the whole premise was wrong - because society is inherently broken and wrong?

What if my problem was not that I was lazy, broken, immature, undisciplined, or defective?

What if we are supposed to burn everything to the ground (not literally) and start over?

PPS Do you think the soda Mountain DEW sponsored the fires in LA? #STAYWOKEPEOPLE jk lol #OutdatedAndUnfunny

I don’t know what is true anymore and I don’t care. We are going to heal this planet one joke at a time no matter what.

OK BACK TO ME

I talk about how “maybe society is the problem” not to enable mediocrity in myself, or normalize the
”hot mess” stereotype that women are encouraged to perpetuate.

I am not naive to the fact that we are doused all day in inorganic heavy metals, chemicals in our food and personal care products which mess with our hormones/endocrine system, along with brainwave altering nEMFs, blue light and other synthetic energies.

I am not naive to the fact that we are collectively being infantilized and normalized to have chronic illness - where everyone is coddled into normalizing being an immature “mess” and/or being Autistic, which feels less of a sign of a society headed towards true healing and Multi-dimensional #Inclusivity, and more of a possibly covert effort to coddle and weaken us from being able to do the most basic task, and push us onto a Universal Basic Income which is hardly free.

I am not saying autism, disability, or chronic illness are fake or shameful - I am saying I refuse to confuse accommodation with abandonment, or replace inclusion with quietly accepting a world that keeps making sensitive bodies sick and asking us to feel proud about it.

I AM NOT AN IDIOT or “IdIoT”. (Internet of Things) - but equally, I don’t think anything is “black or white” / 0s and 1s.

To be clear, I DO think our society is headed towards progress even if there have been attempts to normalize and monetize sickness and celebrate it as “the norm”

Regardless, as the good book says “NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST ME SHALL PROSPER!”

No amount of inorganic heavy metals, EMFs or ANYTHING CAN TURN OFF OUR PINEAL GLANDS, AND I REFUSE TO NORMALIZE THE TIMELINE OF ORWELLIAN 1984 VIBES.

As people are getting Smarter and Smarter, I am getting Dumber and Dumber.

This is why I have designed a Dumb City, which is an alternative to Smart Cities.

I am here to make my own dumb crazy reality (not just in AI - but in IRL), get my sh*t together in MY OWN WAY, and change reality.

I have known this since I am a child and nothing has changed.

I just got #sidetracked for 20 years, being forced to learn everything I can about health and high sensitivity - out of necessity.

My exhaustion, OCD, anxiety and brain fog debilitated me from doing anything or seeing the world clearly.

But I love putting together a good puzzle….

TO BE CONTINUED

Love,

Carlen

Various art pieces I have made to alchemize darkness into light.

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Some illustrations from my website

This is an exciting note to my Subscribers that as promised, I will be transitioning to a man to begin sharing “podcasts” and videos instead, on an at-least monthly basis (whenever inspiration strikes) - with Paid Subscribers getting “first dibs” before I launch them to the general public.

I am taking this Substack in a more “Meta direction” to share with you what is coming up in my mind AS I share things in the next few months, as much as the things I share.

Read more

I have a 50% kidding conspiracy theory that mainstream comedy is intentionally unfunny because laughter really is the best medicine and THE ELITES don’t want people to heal #deep ?! JK LOL

Isn’t it so corny that TV uses laugh tracks to try to get people to laugh at the times where it was just too untalented to generate on it’s own?

What if someone unskilled in da bedroom made a fake org*asm machine and pressed “play” to have a fake orgasm track to try to encourage their partner to have a cathartic release on cue despite their lackluster delivery?

I TOLD YOU I WAS BAD AT SMALL TALK

Today’s post is about SELF BETRAYAL.

Recently I have been thinking about how society and many of our families and outdated relationships celebrate self-betrayal and misalignment on all levels.

Whether it is working harder than feels natural to keep up with demands/rent, saying yes to unpaid opportunities from moneyed-pockets because it is a “good experience” or “good credit”, or hiding our emotions because we don’t want to seem “inconvenient” (and mess up our dysfunctional family dynamics by lighting a fart of truth) - ALL of these “held in farts”/self abandonments can live in the body as self-betrayal.

Because I was punished for my feelings growing up, and consistently gaslit on every level, I learned that self-betrayal made me a “lovable and good person” even though I was constantly anxious and miserable inside.

Because survival trumps ‘truth’ especially in childhood, I created an entire identity based on people-pleasing and martyrdom, which was exhausting and made me literally sick from age 4-33.

I am not kidding.

However, since age 33, (almost a decade of work) I have been focusing on alignment on all levels.

From detoxifying my body and pineal gland of calcification and artificial toxins, aligning my posture and face to biomechanical harmony, balancing my brain hemispheres and hips, along with making sure my relationships, my purchases, and everything reflects my alignment - I now have very little tolerance for any level of imbalance.

I realize that most people are out of alignment - on every level. It is so common that people don’t even know what physical and spiritual alignment feels like.

Those of us who are the “black sheep of the family” were the ones who often got blamed for the problems when we were really just the messengers of imbalance, asked to contort ourselves to fit the dysfunction of those we were surrounded by, and call it “normal”

When we are reliant on unconscious, sick caretakers, we have to match their level of imbalance and repression to ensure we are cared for instead of being abandoned.

It is not safe to be abandoned by our caretakers and so many of us self-abandon to stay in relation with abusive caretakers and all types of relationships and collaborators.

The way I see it now, those of us who experienced chronic fatigue and anxiety were never the problem - the system was the problem.

But when you can’t leave a system, often times you must abandon yourself until you can. However, the body/soul notices everything and rebels in it’s own way, the longer we self-abandon.

Over time - when there are years of self-abandonment building up our allostatic load, FINALLY our body/soul will express as a “nervous breakdown” or “chronic illness” in its attempt to set up boundaries when our mind/voice won’t.

The thing is - it is not our fault and we do not need to be mad at ourselves for self-abandoning all these years.

We only self abandon when we don’t think we will be loved or accepted for being the real us. And sadly, the real us is NOT palatable to everyone - and that is OK <3

We only self abandon when we are reliant on other people’s protection and love - instead of remembering now we are reliant on our own/God’s protection and love.

God’s love will never abandon us, even if we stop abandoning ourselves/our inner knowing (our intuition is God speaking)

Gnosis is inner gnowledge/knowledge; in my opinion, gnosis comes through the nose in the form of breath/air;

Similarly, enlightenment comes through the light.

Both light and air are holy spirit made manifest in environmental/physical form which is why protecting our access to unadulterated sunlight and clean air is a spiritual right not just an environmental right.

Harming Earth is harming God and that’s why I am so passionate about helping this planet - but not at my own expense, any longer.

My body gave me chronic exhaustion and anxiety as a way to SCREAM at me to ‘change my ways,’ and start protecting myself, but equally ‘changing my ways’ required a complete overhaul of my life and never being reliant on those who disrespect me and saying YES to myself and my OWN dreams and ambitions, instead of making others dreams come true (which were closer to nightmares)

You are either working to make someone else’s dreams come true or your own. Waking up is realizing that your dreams ARE God’s dreams put inside of you. When you focus on making your dreams come true, you are helping bring love onto this planet which ironically is the new dream/Paradigm we are “waking up to” (not from)

Making our dreams come true instead of fulfilling the doomsday dreams of others.

Equally, to focus on your dreams you often need some level of financial independence to have the time and space to focus.

This is why energetic AND financial independence is so important.

After the death of my dad in 2017 (where I moved in with him and tried to save his life and got sick in the process), I finally began healing from a lifetime of people-pleasing and self abandonment and began putting myself first and taking up space for the first time.

I spent the last 10 years titrating towards self-remembrance, taking up space, re-alignment, and no longer abandoning myself on any level - and let me tell you it has been a ROCKY ROAD.

But there is no other way.

I physically and emotionally cannot abandon myself ever again.

I literally cannot do anything I don’t want to do or mask any longer.

I AM ALLERGIC TO FAKENESS ON EVERY LEVEL.

Is this “AuDHD”, hormonal and neurotransmitter imbalances, or my soul and body coming online? Perhaps a combination of all of the above.

Whatever it is, it can feel lonely sometimes when you refuse to tolerate abuse or refuse to play small;

You are seen as “selfish”, lazy, a bitch, or “inconvenient” and yet I would rather be lonely than fake.

Luckily, my concept of ‘success’ is very different, especially now that I have stepped out of the American forcefield of “fame and wealth at any cost = success"!

I work for God and I would rather have less money and have more energy, than make more money at the expense of my body and soul.

To me, health IS wealth and health is about alignment on all levels. Not just material wealth.

I would rather not be famous if that fame is based on self-abandonment, peddling toxic fear-mongering ideas, or tolerating work dynamics that are abusive, unboundaried, or extractive.

Equally, I believe it is possible to have internal wealth/integrity AND enough external “Mammon”/material wealth to live in a way that truly honors yourself and God/Love.

I know that this IS the New Paradigm. From parasitism to symbiosis.

Equally, the New Paradigm is not about burning things down with nothing to replace it. If we aren’t going the Orwellian Smart city direction, which way are we going?

TO A HIGHER TIMELINE OF LIBERATION ON ALL LEVELS

Social media and even Substack is trying to shift our faith and imagination to expect subpar timelines but I REFUSE to use my sexy imagination for that.

I am building the reality I wish to see, starting in my own body of liberation.

Our liberation is everyone’s liberation.

And when it comes to liberation, I believe the New Paradigm (which starts within our own consciousness), it IS possible to have it all.

Comfort and moral. Peace and justice.

It IS possible to have healthy work and family relationships when everyone is willing to take personal responsibility.

It is possible to make companies and media and products that feel GOOD on all levels, and where everyone is treated fairly - including the plants, animals and minerals that make the materials of our products.

It just might be the straight and narrow path that takes YEARS LONGER and widdle down your friend/collaborator group to like 4 people. It might involve you moving to a new country or to the DUMB CITY I AM BUILDING. (opposite of a Smart City, lol)

The straight and narrow path might not be Instagram-popular, in the way that the fake Canva perfect polarized sensational succubus simping is.

Digital Shadowbanning is digital ‘chemtrails’ in an attempt to hide real light. But guess what?

We don’t need false light of follower-count or Meta products that use our images for machine learning anymore to tell us who is real and who isn’t.

I don’t need the approval of any person or system which tries to extract from or dim my light - or asks me to pay while continuing to extract from.

Love is magnetism or symbiosis, which is the New Paradigm of Consciousness (the original paradigm before our visions got warped by those with crossed 3rd eyes and tried to blind us to their level of consciousness because it was all they knew/the light they could handle…)

This planet - and our own consciousness - has been artificially run by Fear/force - held in place by constricted breaths, hips, pelvises, and imaginations.

Fear and force do not feel good in the body because they are not God in the body.

Fear and force does not energize us, it depletes us.

This is actually HEALTHY.

Fear and force are the opposite of love; they are false magnetism which is parasitism which is the Old Paradigm and for which people need billions of dollars of coffee, stimulants, advertising to prop up like a bad version of Weekend at Bernies.

Equally, I have love for all these humans and levels of consciousness that exist - even the most annoying ones - because they make up the beautiful tapestry that is reality.

If you work in media, film or the arts, you know how parasitic these industries can be - but really, ANY industry can have imbalances of power.

I thought the Brooklyn indie hipster film industry was gross, but the spiritual/wellness/”truther” industry is just as incongruent to me, if not moreso because it presents itself as holier than thou, whereas the New York film industry is openly working in illusions.

I love the cast of characters I have met along my journey, because it is all a funny movie and we always have the last laugh, don’t we?

We don’t have to fix anyone else or fix any industry, we just need to do our own thing, which is easier than ever if we put all our technologies (inner and outer) towards it.

We don’t have to tell people they are ‘wrong’ or prove a point that we were harmed to those unwilling to be conscious because it threatens their profit or prophet - just let reality/God/energy sort itself out.

Everyone is playing a part in your alchemy.

Equally, feel your anger at the false profits and prophets who have tried to extract from you and others with their false LED Ring lights and pseudo Shaman-esque sweatshop made boho hats (or whatever sartorial indicator is relevant to your subculture of artifice)

Let them feed the beast system while you feed a new system and know you don’t have to go that way to succeed.

I am busy making non-toxic clothing and products and helping us get access to unadulterated foods, so we don’t have to become homogenized ‘adults’ lacking live and active cultures.

We are here to eat/become the live and active cultures with complex microbiomes - we don’t need to support gross systems which disrespect innocence of any kind. Let them go party over there.

THE DAYS OF THE FALSE PROPHET ARE OVER BWAHAHAHA

Equally, let’s thank the false prophets because they could see our light before we could and they did pave the way.

You being extracted from false prophets is a COMPLIMENT to your brilliance - the brilliance God put inside of you.

The same brilliance you have been misled all your life to think is fake.

The same brilliance which opportunists simultaneously saw as bright, but wanted to dim you because your light felt unfamiliar and uncomfortable - or because they wanted to use your light all for themselves.

The good news is that it “back-fired” - and now the fire is back in your heart to burn all systems down and let the bridges you burn light the way.

Do you feel it

You have to channel your light and rage into creativity (all action is creativity) - action towards your own art, your own liberation and for all the creative seeds planted into you to create the world you wish existed;

Part of liberation for me includes accepting that I love resting 70% of the time and I will never be as conventionally ‘productive’ as many.

Part of liberation for me includes accepting not everyone is conscious to their own shadows/extractive nature, and that is not our responsibility to fix (even if it feels that way sometimes)

Everyone is playing their role - the narcissists paved the way for those of us who were busy healing from them to show up now in 2026 and tear the roof off ;)

my one of my favorite albums in highschool lol - very Revelation-vibes - but I believe that after End Times/Revelation comes the Golden Age. I refuse to energize doom timelines and I think if you know about the power of the mind, it behooves you to do the same.

To me, this is Beginning Times.

Beyond the noise and fearful frequencies of the screen - you know we came here for Beginning Times which is true liberation.

We can use AI in service to justice and break down all frequency fences and control grids of all kinds, but it first starts with removing these artificial control grids in our own heart.

How?

We shake out all levels of stagnancy and imbalance via flow on all levels.

We feel our rage and forgive ourselves and everyone else for disrespecting us, themselves, and God.

We feel it all. And move on and have guacamole.

“It is better to light a candle than to curse the dark”

To be continued….

Love,

Carlen

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If you smell what I am cookin’, lmk if this resonated.

How are you?

Even though social media can be a total DUMPSTER FIRE of programming, potential psychotronic nervous system manipulation (lol?), and manufactured division, I am SO grateful to have found many special souls out there who I magnetize/resonate with!

(AND perhaps WE have met through social media, so thank you to these technologies, which can be used for creation or destruction!)

THANK YOU!

Today we are celebrating the words of Kristina Kyser PhD, who I found a few months ago, and who breaks through the calci-fried frequency fence with her ancient wisdom and remembrance of truth.

These 2 posts especially resonate.

Curious what you think!

Kristina Kyser PhD articulates my felt experience of reality as a highly sensitive artist/autist so well - and if you resonate with my writing/streams of consciousness, you may resonate with her fiery ideas and energy as well.

PS If you are avoiding Instagram, you can use this website to remotely check Instagram profiles remotely (GOOD FOR STALKING YOUR CHILDHOOD CRUSH TOO LOL)

Thank you to DA INTERNETZ (and da INNERNETZ of our intuition) for electrically magnetizing/bringing us together, in spite of divisive devices and crossed 3rd i-clouds.

Did you catch the last 2 posts?

WHEN IT RAINS, IT POURS!

Love,

Carlen

An archival photo of me crashing a perfectly heartwarming and diverse moment at Oberlin College.

Namaste

Do you want to hear one of my favorite songs?

This song is so timeless and Kevin Ayer’s voice is like butter to me.

Are things getting crazier or more sane? You decide!

Yesterday I wrote a very long post on Commitments and I can’t stop writing! I LIKE THAT I MADE A TYPO IN LITERALLY THE FIRST SENTENCE… OOPS!

Is time for me to be committed to a LOONY BIN?!

LUNACY

Did you know the word ‘loony’ refers to ‘lunar’ since the moon influences not just plant growth, the planetary oceanic tides but the internal em-oceanal tides within us?

PS check out my friend’s wonderful album EMOCEAN!

Many people experience mental and spiritual illness/discomforts during the full “lunar” moon and new “lunar” moon…

Why is this? Is it just a coincidence?

My current theory is that the moon illuminates our darkness - literally and metaphorically.

It helps us dislodge anything unconscious so it can be unearthed and assimilated back into consciousness/Earth for inner and outer growth, literally and figuratively…

I also theorize that parasights/demons are more active during these moon cycles and attempting to harvest energy via lower vibrational emotions (unpopular party topics!)

Is this why there are so many traumatic, sacrificial events during the full moon/new moon? CURIOUS MINDS WANT TO KNOW!

*My theories are not medical advice LOL

<ALL THE GRAPHICS ON MY COMPUTER ARE FROM 1990-2013 HAHAHA>

On the topic of lunacy, once a very grounded, funny friend of mine (who had one of the most beautiful, melodic laughs I have ever heard) told me she was sent to a mental institution in LA after she went to some personal growth retreat (Landmark) that kept her awake for over 48 hours and made her feel crazy.

(I have heard from others that this event is “transformational” so I am not here to imply it automatically leads to insanity - but I feel crazy if I don’t get 9 hours of sleep LOL…)

My friend said that while at the mental institution, she met some of the most spiritual, lucid and psychic women she had ever met and this makes so much sense and is the perfect plot for the horror movie that is our spiritually lobotomized society.

(To be clear: there is of course nuance to this huge topic of mental illness and I do believe that some people absolutely do need help, and I am not romanticizing mental illness as totally “spiritually people wrongfully locked up”)

I just think we need a total overhaul of how we treat illness - from something to be suppressed as a MESSENGER of imbalance - including jails…

I LITERALLY INTEND TO START A HEALING/COMEDIC MENTAL INSTITUTION CALLED THE FUNNY FARM™ (thanks G. i.c.u)

While I have never been institutionalized (but definitely felt “crazy” as a teenager/in my 20’s which is why I took antidepressants), I have absolute compassion for anyone who has been institutionalized.

I believe that mental illness is often always a logical and biological response to trauma, toxins, nutritional deficiencies, biomechanical issues (a topic we will get into next!) spiritual abuse and much more - which, when brought to the surface is how souls begin to be freed…

WE MUST ‘FACE’ WHAT HAS BEEN RIGHT IN FRONT OF OUR NOSE THE WHOLE TIME…

A huge part of my unconventional healing journey has been about healing my breathing issues and widening my face, so my literal brain has more space…

(Ken of Reviv sums it up excellently)

When you look at the front/side profiles of many people in positions of power and cartoonish “villains”, it is very clear they are suffering biomechanically and not getting enough air/respiration, leading to nervous system dysregulation (and dysregulated actions that manifest as illogical behaviors like “control”, “greed” and “violence”…)

High copper and inorganic heavy metals also can feed “mental illness:

Poor breathing/hypoxia also feeds parasightic infection - and yet none of our leaders take true mental health assessments before being selected (not elected) into political power.

Considering we are made of trillions of cells, bacteria, fungus and parasights - “who” are we when we make decisions?

What is “leading” our personality? What is leading our cravings?

I can tell you that when I did parasight cleanses and increased my minerals (especially magnesium), it permanently ended my nail-biting, most of my OCD rumination, and chocolate cravings - COINCIDENCE?

Considering demons, vampires, and parasights are historically allergic to sunlight and salt, is that why we see so much proposed sun-dimming technologies and deminineralization of our soils?

Have parasights literally run our planet?

Is it demineralization or demon-eralization?

Is ‘mon’ the word for energy?

Is ‘money’ a stand-in for energy, given artificially via the made-up Federal Reserve to those lack true charisma/magnetism but wish to force power/control?

Are they even happy?

SORRY I AM BAD AT SMALL TALK!

(Note: When it comes to the body or society as a whole, I do not think blindly “defeating parasights” is the answer.

I really love Kaleigh Mason’s approach to this topic - which is very different from most “parasight cleanse” mindsets out there…)

Many people think saving the world is “defeating parasights” with force, but I actually don’t think force (shame OR finger-pointing) is ever a true solution to healing in a REAL WAY.

War is never the answer because it perpetuates hierarchy and dominance, which is the Old Paradigm and nightmare we are stepping out of.

I believe having physically and mentally strong, grounded, and loving adult humans stepping into leadership is the answer.

Our society has not been run by adults, but by children in adult costumes.

In addition to changing leadership, I think that the answer is healing our internal frequency so we are no longer a match to degrading dynamics of any kind - and sending love to the parasights.

Perhaps I sound like a naive hippy but I don’t care.

I have spent my whole life figuring out how to save this planet and I believe it is a shift in consciousness more than any one law or wall/barricade between our nations or hearts.

I went down a rabbit hole about parasites (from a physical and spiritual perspective) and it literally said they could not handle a frequency of love. How funny!

You may appreciate the unconventional work of Jerry Marzinsky on this topic…

Gargamel is the perfect example of someone with biomechanical collapse and unhealed trauma.

Do you notice the end of this episode is about physically strong people intimidating him?

Is there hope for him and others like him in our modern society?

What are the solutions?

LOVE,

CARLEN

Week.

Weak.

Is it all a coincidence that our language and schedule feels weakening and exhausting?

I have been reflecting on the last few years and how, when I went off antidepressants in 2017 and had a spiritual awakening went crazy, I thought that one day I would finally “be better” and finally acclimate to society; how I probably just needed “time” to “figure some things out” - and that my transition from crazy and feral to sane and employable would eventually happen, kind of how we were taught “2 weeks to flatten the curve”

WELL, GUESS WHAT?

YOU CAN’T FLATTEN THESE CURVES, HONEY!!!

(Cue this statement said by an image of me or you in one of those trashy white long t-shirts you buy at the beach kiosk that has a drawing of an American flag bikini on it)

I realize that I WILL NEVER FLATTEN THESE CURVES ( . )( . ) OR BE ACCLIMATED TO SOCIETY or MINIMIZE ANY PART OF MYSELF EVER AGAIN.

And as destabilizing as it can feel, I am actually happy about that.

As I have said in other posts, I believe that all sickness is a messenger of imbalance ;

Too often our insensitive culture has pathologized or silenced the messenger or sensitive sick people instead of listening to what their sickness has to say (OBVIOUSLY)

If we listened to the sensitivity or messengers within our own bodies - or society at large, it would require re-evaluation of our lifestyle and the systems we are apart of - and lead us to likely accept that most systems are imbalanced, defiling and disgusting - not us.

….AND THEN WE WOULD HAVE TO LEAVE. INTO THE DARK UNKNOWN.

Sometimes it is a lot easier to think there is “something wrong with us” than accept we have been slowly been poisoned via food, frequencies, constant programming and have to figure out an exit plan, you know what I mean?

Our current broken society is not meant for human beings — but for human doings - and/or machines.

As humanity awakens, it coincides with the rise of AI;

Many technocrats expect that we can be “replaced by AI” and living glued to the Metaverse eating sterilizing foods - but here at the brain of Carlen Altman/1-800-EARTH, I believe that while many may choose that “timeline”, that we can equally use AI to do the robot tasks we do not want to do - and allow humanity to be creative, fertile, free.

The thing is, is our consciousness ready to actually be free?

Do our leaders actually want us to be free?

To me, freedom is like the inversion of slavery; both feel like “passive decisions” - but require different types of effort and responsibilities.

Read more

Do you like going to parties? I don’t. (unless there is a delicious snack table and I can hide in a corner)

My whole life I have loathed parties because I can’t stand small talk. I thought this meant there was something wrong with me but I now realize it is because I am allergic to fakeness on all levels.

This trait has been pathologized as “Autism” or “High Sensitivity” but I refuse to think there is anything wrong with me for being sickened by our fake culture with it’s fake smiles, fake lights, fake faces, fake fragrances, fake news - or the fact that I get bored in crowds of “normal” people.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

Why talk about “the weather” when we could be talking about geoengineering and it’s impact on our climate?

Why talk about “sports” when we could be talking about how sports are based on ancient blood sacrifices to Baal? - Basically I AM NOT FUN AT PARTIES… but I pretended to be.

For my 20’s, I successfully numbed my sensitivity and allergy to small talk with the help of antidepressants and got invited to lots of parties where I pretended to be normal (I don’t think it worked). I made award-winning films, ran a company featured on The Today Show, and was a climate change journalist for MTV News. I seemed happy on the outside but something was … missing.

By age 31, my soul decided to intervene and told me she had enough of all this.

In 2017, I had an “inconvenient spiritual awakening” and went crazy (or sane, depending on how you look at it), and all of my sensitivity (and psychic abilities) not only returned but became more heightened than before.

After this experience, I became not only too sensitive for parties, but for society itself.

This is essentially why I stopped doing film, comedy, jewelry and activism for the last 10 years as I have been quietly away from society, healing from antidepressant withdrawal, my father’s death and accepting that I am not here to be a part of mainstream small talk culture but instead discuss BIG TALK…

This includes figuring out actually important stuff such as

a) how do we get healthy

b) what is REALLY GOING ON?

c) how do we have fun escaping the matrix

c) how do we make our dreams come true?

d) how do we ACTUALLY save Earth and

d) how do we raise consciousness?

WHILE NOT LOSING OUR SENSE OF HUMOR OR MARBLES!

As it has become increasingly obvious, almost everything we have learned is pretty much a lie, but I didn’t know how comically terrible it all was until the whole “bat soup incident”…

I have been waiting literally 6 years before sharing my writings publicly and so this Substack is an experiment in sharing the real version of me - so I thank you for being here as this is supposed to be more of a conversation between us than just some normal boring writing.

To be honest, I find our culture (even “alternative media”) to be pretty boring and I don’t listen to podcasts or read most things because I don’t have the attention span for it and I have a feeling that this Substack will be very different than anything you may have read before (in a good way, hopefully?)

If you wish to support my work and attempts at saving this planet and helping us get free on all levels (and having fun digital parties for subscribers where we can hang out and talk about BIG TALK topics, without the awkwardness of leaving the house), I invite you to become a paid subscriber.

Once I have 10 paid subscribers, we will do a Monthly Hang out/Q+A/digital party to discuss BIG THINGS and once I have 50 paid subscribers, I will add a Monthly Body Doubling Session (look this up if you are new to the topic!) and make our dreams come true together!!!

Again, this is a group activity like a bizarre spiritual summercamp?!! (OR CULT?!)

Regardless if you wish to financially energize my work or not, I thank you for being here with me on Earth at this time and I am wishing for more planetary BIG TALK instead of Small Talk in the near future.

Love,

Carlen