Would you still be worthy?

I’ve been listening to hospice workers describe how people react when told they have only X amount of time to live (they get very quiet). It’s as if they stop, finally, from the busy job of trying to do and achieve and prove themselves in life.

They just stop, and watch the steam rise from their tea cup.

Perhaps they are seeing the incredible beauty of life for the first time.

There are many accounts of people who clinically die and are brought back. Often, they ask,

“Why did you bring me back? I felt totally accepted and perfectly loved there.”

It’s a shame one has to die to experience that feeling.

What if we ARE totally accepted?

What if we ARE perfectly loved?

Without trying. Without having, or doing, anything.

This world-scape we’ve created, here on our temporary Earth home, comes with so much judgment. We are worthy (and by extension, loved) when we do something good, achieve something important, make a lot of money, become famous, or somehow impress others with our actions and behavior.

What if you had nothing? No house, no fancy car or big truck, no 401k, no important job, no successful marketing program for your program/book/system/business, no spouse/mate, no children/grandchildren, no impressive resume, no prestigious education, no followers, no opportunities. What if, even, you did not have health?

If you had nothing,

and had done nothing special,

what would be your worth?

Worth and value are learned at an early age. In a household of 12 children, I quickly realized that worth was measured by behavior. I was born with chores to do and rules to observe. “Love” was understood and, yet, so clearly contingent upon being a “good girl.” Sure, I learned in Catholic school that God loves us unconditionally. But it was patently obvious that those who behaved well, and did well at lessons, were “more loved” than those who didn’t.

Like many of us, I learned that goals accomplished, successes accumulated, and recognitions granted were what marked the uphill path to the pinnacle of worthiness.

It is hard, in this realm, to escape that reality. The good-looking girl gets more attention than the plain one. The rich man gets more praise than the poor one. The successful person is more honored than the common laborer.

The list could go on and on. Achievements – whether as a professional, entrepreneur, musician, influencer, artist, athlete, performer, politician, human – are just plain considered a marker of worth in our world.

This public assessment of worth translates directly to our psyche in creating our own perception of being, or not being, accepted and loved. Somehow, we have to “unlearn” all of this to finally know our own worth.

For me, the journey of “worthiness” started 14 years ago, with a year of wandering, homeless like a gypsy.

I had just gotten out of a 26-year marriage, my last child had left for college, I had sold my businesses and my house. It was a floaty feeling to lose every single identifier I had carried around for so long – Home Mom, Business Owner, School Volunteer, Boss Lady, Aviator, House Owner, Involved Community Member (PTA, HOA, BSA, etc.)

Then, it all seemed to end, simultaneously, and, Zap!

I went full stop.

All the titles I’d spent years earning…. Gone. Done. Vamoose. Zippo.

I remember that first day, when Google Calendar notified me, “You have nothing scheduled for today.” Those six words evoked such a giddy feeling in me - I had nothing scheduled! Nothing! There was nothing I needed to do. Nothing necessary to prove myself, or to advance my life in any way.

Oh, Google, who knew you were so wise!

So I just followed my soul around. I listened. I meditated. I traveled. I looked. I spent a lot of time gazing - at trees, at sky, at light sparkling on the water.

I met a shaman in Australia, followed a dragonfly to Belize, toured New Zealand in a van with an artist, communed with a jaguar in Mexico, and sat on a river deck calling heaven down to me.

And it was enough. I was enough. I felt totally accepted and perfectly loved. Even though I had died to all the roles that had previously defined my worth, I had, finally, embodied the one role that mattered, as a manifestation of light, inhabiting the perfect ecosystem we call Earth

The bliss of that knowing felt like absolute completion of the worthiness journey. But, as journeys go, there were more mountains around the bend….

These last few months, I’ve spent a lot of time just being. Being still. Observing. Listening to the wind. And letting go. Of everything. Again. (And no, I’m not dying. At least, to my knowledge, not quite yet….) There is a sense of vast loss, personally and collectively, that - oddly - leaves me feeling, like those who’ve traveled beyond death’s door,

totally accepted and perfectly loved.

Perhaps that understanding, really, is what the great prophets tried to show us – Jesus wandering as a teacher in sandals, Mohammed sleeping on a straw mat in a mud hut, the Buddha choosing to live under a tree – that none of the stuff we place such value on, in this world, actually matters at all. None of it matters. At all.

And perhaps the collective demise we are witnessing now is just a door to something so much better. As the world we knew - or believed we knew - seems to be crumbling around us, there is, indeed, a great hope for a different world to be born.

Perhaps, on the other side of this death cycle, we will find a light that shines so brightly we have no desire to be “brought back” to the old way.

And perhaps, past this illusory world we’ve inhabited for so long, we will finally find that divine place where we feel “totally accepted and perfectly loved.”

I hope so, and I’m glad to have you here with me.

Love, Cate

As always, would love to hear your thoughts. Please drop a comment below and join the conversation.

And . . . a few affirmations to say aloud anytime you need a reminder:

• I am worthy of all the love in the Universe

• I am totally accepted exactly as I am

• I am perfectly loved, even with all my perfect imperfections

Someday, 
we will say 
goodbye to our world. 
And we will sit, 
for a moment,
in total astonishment
at the beauty we were offered.

We will notice, 
with very old eyes-made-new,
how trees and butterflies, 
wave praise
at the morning sunshine,
and flowers dance joy
to the music of bird song.

We will hear the wind
in the valley
and understand,
deep in our soul,
that it has always been talking to us,
that it has always been dancing 
and singing to us.

And we will weep at the days we forgot to notice.

We will see, 
for the first time, 
the complete luminescence
of everything,
including ourselves.
And - for a moment - 
we will see god, 
everywhere.

Love, Cate

When the plums grow luminescent
and butterflies rest on your hand . . .

When the strawberries sweeten to nectar
and bees patrol the land . . .

When the days grow long and lazy
and your toes wear shoes of sand . . .

‘tis then to follow
the birds and the cats –
simply sing in the morning,
and remember
to nap!

By Cate Schultz

Happy Summer Solstice, and Happy Father’s Day, too!

Love, Cate

A friend of mine, in my small town, has a deaf brother. It’s not easy for the brother – let’s call him “Adam” – to find work here. Turns out being able to hear is an important component of customer service - in bars, shops, service centers, and restaurants (though I swear I’ve had many a deaf waiter!) 

I try to give work to Adam so he can earn his own keep. I know this is important to him. Because he can’t drive, I go into town to pick him up and drive him out to my place in the country. And again, at the end of the day, I drive him home. I don’t mind the transport, as I enjoy driving up, down, and around our mountainous, curvy roads - without the radio on. I like quiet. Whether driving or just sitting still on the veranda, I am very fond of silence.

Unless I have a deaf person in the car. 

Then I find myself talking aloud to him, pointing to the scenery, making hand gestures about the clouds on the horizon, or the slow driver in front of me. When I interact with him on the property, I notice the same behavior. I talk and make facial expressions, hand gestures, body language to interact with him – how are you doing? Are you okay? This looks great! Look at that bird! Is there anything you need? It’s very warm today! I talk aloud because it feels awkward and I want him to feel comfortable. Adam doesn’t seem to care. He just goes about his work.

I’ve become very aware of this behavior because it seems ridiculous (Hello! He can’t hear you!) and, also, sadly needy on my part. Do I always do this? Go overboard to try to make someone feel comfortable? Even when – as in this case- it is completely futile and unnecessary.

I think of the dinner parties I used to hold – fantastic food, perfect setting, gracious hostess. And at the end, sometimes, I would realize that I’d hardly had a chance to converse with anyone. I was so busy serving and making sure everyone had a great time that I forgot to enjoy the moment myself. There are countless other similar examples, whether it be on vacations, in the boardroom, in the bedroom. A part of me is always is checking – Are you okay? Is everything alright? Are you comfortable and happy? Are you enjoying yourself? 

Ironically, I really don’t think of myself as a people-pleaser. I’m very independent and self-directed (a description with which most people would agree). But there is something subtle going on here that my deaf friend has exposed….

Looking back at all the chapters of my life, I see that I expended a lot of time and energy attempting to make life perfect (or at least agreeable and comfortable) for everyone around me – my partners, my kids, my employees, my friends, random acquaintances. I like to think I do this because I'm a kind, generous, giving person. Great. That feels good. 

But what is sobering is the niggling realization that perhaps I do these things, not just out of kindness for others, but also to assuage some deep neediness I have inside. Ugh. That does not sit well. It's not a belief I want to accept about myself.

I’m an accomplished businesswoman, dedicated mother, world traveler, coach, and author. Why would I, of all people, have such a neediness?

Yet, on deeper consideration, why, actually, would I not?

I think of my childhood, as the 8th of 12 children. At virtually any moment, there was an imminent and real risk of displeasing a sibling or a parent. And there was no retreat. There was no “my room” to retire to. I shared a bedroom with at least 2 - usually more – siblings and never had a room of my own until my junior year of college. Virtually every minute of my formative years was spent sandwiched between other humans: 
• 8 of us in the back seat of the old Chrysler, 4 on the laps of the other 4. 
• 12 of us lined up (like the Partridge family minus the singing) in an old schoolbus-cum-camper. 
• 6 to 8 of us (depending on how many friends were over for supper) on each side of the dinner-table-made-from-a-door. 
• 2 or 3 people outside the bathroom door yelling, “Are you almost done?” 
• My dad calling out orders that were to be obeyed, not questioned. 
There seldom was a moment where there wasn’t pressure to please, placate, or accommodate others. 

So, I guess it should be no surprise that I’m still running that program, unaware and on automatic.

In addition to my personal childhood, I wonder how much of it is connected to being female. Psychologist Carole Gilligan, in her 1982 book “In A Different Voice” observed that young girls and boys (under age 10) would, naturally, express their wants and needs clearly. As they moved into pre-adolescence, however, while the boys continued to speak their mind, girls learned to defer, checking to see what others wanted or needed first, before answering. The girls learned that being good meant being agreeable, and that love was earned by accommodating others.*

So many women I’ve talked and worked with struggle with feeling loved or worthy. Why? Because we were taught that our purpose was to please others. Our very value seemed to hinge upon our looks, our sexiness, our liveliness, our agreeableness, our willingness to be of service. 

I’d like to suggest that your value is inherent and complete just by being a human incarnation of life. There is nothing you need to DO to be loved or worthy. There is nothing you need to improve about yourself. 

There is only BE-ing. 
BE you, without worry that someone else will “like” it. 
It’s your life. 
No one else’s approval is required to be you. 

It’s a process . . . a lifelong process, I guess. Sigh. I’m going a notch deeper on it, personally, thanks to my deaf friend Adam. 

I’m intentionally remembering that young girl who knew and could express her own needs, regardless of pressure from others. And guess what? I like her! She’s pretty cool. She loves to sing out loud. And dance in the kitchen. And be silly. And eat popcorn for dinner. And cry at sad movies. 

Who is your kid that used to express herself without a care whether someone “liked” it or not? The one who didn't worry about whether her loudness made someone else uncomfortable, or her appearance pleased someone else. What does she - or he - like to do when no one is looking? If she were sitting where you are right now, what would she want to do? 

The world needs us, friends, to express our unique and special voice. The world needs to hear our unmuted truth. And the world especially needs to hear from the women – and men - who have been quiet and agreeable for too long. 

I’m looking forward to hearing from the real you. What makes you laugh? What do you love? What would you like to say to the world? What are you done trying to improve or make perfect? 

As always, with love,
Cate

PS. Spend time with people who don't fit the norm. It will expand your life in beautiful ways. The other day, after silently driving Adam home, he got out of the car, then leaned in, tapped his heart twice and pointed at me. No words needed. 

*This study was gender based but, of course, exceptions exist.

It seems a very human desire to "know" the answer. But what if we tried not to know? what if we just let questions marinate to ripeness? 

"Rest in the question" is one of my favorite life statements of all time, written by Rainier Maria Rilke in his Letters to a Young Poet.*

It’s just four simple words, with the most important one being just four simple letters. 

REST

Rest - not as in sleeping in and lounging around all day (although that is lovely too) - but rather the rest that, ideally, comes after a question. 

And we do have a lot of questions, don’t we? Our busy human minds are constantly questioning - and trying to answer - all the uncertainties of life: What is happening? Why? And what do I need to do about it? Our primal survival instinct wants us to be watching, always, for the tigers and the bears in every situation. 

Here are the handful of questions that hit me this morning. Already. Before coffee:

Should I sell this house? Is it going to rain? Does that rooster crow all day? Is the world headed toward disaster? Do I need to cut my nails? At what point do I need to start killing these ants? What happens to a car if the gas sets too long? Did we bomb Iran today? Is that airplane contrail really chemicals? Where did that mosquito come from? Should I email that engineer today, or wait until next week? How can we ever derail the patriarchy? Are my eyebrows uneven? 

I mean, seriously. The silent questions that bombard our minds are endless. 

After drinking my coffee, I took the barrage of questions with me and went to my mat. Sat down. Let my mind rest, in a different way than nighttime rest. The kind of intentional rest that says, “shhhhhh” to the mind chatter. This is where the questions settle, like soft rain into welcoming soil. I gazed at the rising sun, felt the breeze on my skin, heard the birds singing, and grounded myself. 

My soul whispered, “This is the answer to every question, my sweet monkey mind: being present, right here, right now, to this moment. That’s all.”

And I am reminded that I do not need to know.
I do not need to know why something happened or what I should do about it. 
I do not need to fret about the past or stress about the future. 
I do not need to worry, or plan. 
I just need to be. 
Right here. 
Right now.
In this moment. 

Life will unfold as it does. 

And, if I am present, and acting from a place of presence, I know that I will deal with each moment capably, whatever life brings. 

There is a distinct calmness that comes when we "rest in the question"(s). It is not avoidance. It is not laziness. It is not irresponsible. It is the wisest survival technique known to man. For it is when we clear the clutter that we can see with clear eyes. We no longer “know” the answer with our reptilian brain. Rather, we instinctively take the path that our wise and quiet mind knows is aligned with our soul journey. 

That is the sweet spot. The magic. The power of being present. Watching life blossom, as it should, simply by being a fully-awakened witness to - and participant in - the miracle of being.

Now, I bet there are a lot of questions that just don’t want to rest, dear reader.
For example, anything to do with making money, saving money, spending money, investing money. Money, as they say, makes the world go ‘round.
But what if it doesn’t, really? What if it didn’t need to? 

Stay with me here…. It may sound naïve, but really, what if?

What if life was never meant to be so complicated?
What if we weren’t meant to build big bank accounts?
What if accumulating clothes, vehicles, houses, and stuff wasn’t our true destiny?
What if we weren’t meant, actually, to build mega cities where people would live shoulder-to-shoulder, in complete isolation?
What if we weren’t meant to shrivel away our days in corporate boxes designed to keep us just barely getting by, while the boxmasters got rich?

What if life were meant to be something else?

And yes, I just created a lot of questions. 
Can you let them soak into your permaculture and rest a bit, without rushing to answer them, or argue with them?

I think of those videos on Instagram of African kids dancing (you’ve probably seen them) - the kids look so poor, and yet they seem so happy. They’re skinny and their shorts are torn, but they are dancing and singing. 
I know that’s a tough life, and I’m not idealizing it. 
And yet, it makes me wonder….

What if life were meant to be this fun, and this happy?
How would it feel to live in small communities, where everyone knows your name? 
When was the last time I danced with that much joy?

I know, more questions. 
Questions that don't need to be answered or countered.
Questions to just feel into. 
What if? 

I sure love these questions.
And I especially love that they, actually, don't need answering.
I think I’ll just let them rest, and see what kind of magic they spark in my life. 
----
What questions are you asking? Are you able to let them “rest”? What kind of magic are you creating? I'd love to hear from you!

With big love, Cate

*The actual translation from Rilke is closer to “Be patient . . . and love the questions themselves” but is commonly phrased as “Rest in the question.”

I found myself carrying around such grief this morning.
 
A grief for the world. 
A grief for my life under the great aberration/abomination of patriarchal rule.
A grief for the children who are inheriting this madness. 

But I’ve been aware of this unbalanced world for a long time. I’m aware of why 5 of my 7 sisters became teenage moms (If you want to know why, ask in the comments and I’ll explain). I’m aware of why my mom (who was smarter than my dad) always deferred to him. I’m aware of the cost – to both men and women – of a social system created, not so that all could thrive, but so that some could control. I’m aware of the toll on humanity from living in separation from (Mother) Nature, in separation from each other, and in denial of the divine feminine.

So why, this morning, the cavernous grief? 

I’ve tried to avoid knowing much about the recent furor over the website where men film themselves having sex with drugged-out women, and even teach others how to do the same. It’s just too hard for me to hold that in my consciousness. 

Eventually, however, I had heard enough. Enough to knock me on my spiritual knees. On top of the Epstein files/defiles, now this. This desecration of all that is sacred. 

And the website…. The website is called “motherless” ---

I just want to lie face down on the floor and weep.

How can it be that millions of men are attracted to a site called “motherless” in order to watch women be violated. How can it be that we live in a world like this? How can these atrocities against women and girls continue and continue, seemingly without end?

Although part of me would prefer to go into a coma, or be struck blind on the spot, I can’t help but see, and know, the answer to this question. 

The answer is obvious. It’s right there, in the name. The name says it all. The name of this abomination is Motherless. It is motherless because we are motherless. 

We have abused our natural relationship with the great Earth Mother. For millennia, we’ve denied, vilified, and destroyed our connection to our mother planet. It started when we supposedly got “kicked out” of the Garden of Eden. The definition of “Eden” is “pleasure” “delight” “paradise” or a “well-watered, fertile place.” And we’ve been taught that a healthy, natural relationship to “Eden” is forbidden. So forbidden, that we have to sneak in the back gate to have that connection our soul craves. So forbidden that we have to drug and neutralize her in order to force her compliance. 

We’ve been taught to abuse and torture our own earth mother - for convenience, for greed, for fear of her mighty power. And so we have a motherless reverberation - “as above, so below, as within, so without” – the microcosm and the macrocosm reflect one another. What happens on the global level is mirrored on the individual level. 
We destroy it all. 
Mankind has learned how to torture beauty into power.*

And I am filled with grief. For all of us. 
-----------
Afterword: 
I could have wept, face down, on the stone floor all day. 
However, one does get stiff after a bit, so I asked myself, 
“What am I going to do? How can I deal with this pain in my heart? 

Then, I remembered! “Do the practices. Go to the mat.” 

And so, I did. I went to my mat. I did my meditation. 
And spirit whispered, 
“There is nothing to do but be in this moment. 
This moment is all you need to experience.
Let the rest go.” 
As I breathed in and out, remembering, 
“I am here, I am here now, I am,” peace settled upon me.

This does not mean I have just let go of, or forgotten, the horrors. It does not mean I go on my merry way with disregard to the harm perpetuated upon women and girls since time immemorial. But it means I can continue to live with personal joy and hope, while still caring so deeply for a world gone mad. I can hold both realities in my heart when I stay balanced, grounded, and spiritually tuned. It is from this place that I can live my best life while still continuing to positively impact a shapeshifting world. 
-------------------

So! For those of you following along the Soul Primer Journey, this was B is for Beauty week. I hope you found, and saw Beauty everywhere (despite everything)! But the practices, of course, do not need to be in any order. 
Open the book randomly and simply do that practice. 
And don’t forget to practice, daily, your meditation. 
Because meditation is the door. To everything. 

Love, Cate

*From this line in a song:
“Some of them were angry, at the way the earth was abused
by the men who learned how to torture beauty into power.”
(Please drop a comment if you know the song and artist – but no looking it up!)

Where would we be without mothers? We wouldn’t be. Here. At all. That’s kind of wild to think of. There is nothing more essential to my life, and to yours, than a mother.

So, take a minute today to really be, and really show, gratitude to mothers everywhere - not just your own, but every woman you encounter who carries the potential of creation within her. Take a minute to let your mind wander back through the millennia and to focus on the pivotal role every mother on this planet played in the making of humanity. Not just the birthing, but the caring and the nurturing and then, in her elder years, the wisdom and guidance the grandmothers provided to mankind.

Mothers may not talk loudly and rattle swords, but they carry an immense and immeasurable power, in their woman’s heart. A power that our world desperately needs right now.

And, on a more traditional note, here are some beautiful flowers to help you celebrate all the beautiful mothers! These are all pictures from my wild yard. I let the grass and flowers grow free in the spring and several of these flowers have bugs on them - all part of a healthy ecosystem.

Sending so much love to you all, mothers and children of mothers. Have a wonderful Day!

Love, Cate

Although my auto-complain button sometimes gets stuck in “Wah!” mode, I quickly caught myself and hit pause. I switched to gratitude as I thought, “You know, despite this cabin being too small, and it raining too much here, this place really has been a great little nest for me.”

The very second my brain thought the word “nest,” a little brown bird landed on the railing directly in front of me, so close I could have reached my arm out and touched her. She had a beak full of nesting material which she gently laid down, then looked at me, cocked her head to the side - as if to say, “I see you” - and flew off, leaving her carefully gathered nesting grass, as a gift for me, and my nest.

The timing was just so perfect. It was as if Mama Earth was saying, “I’m here with you, dear. I hear you and see you.

Now, some of you may think this is fanciful, or just by chance, that a little bird gave me a knowing nod of compassion on nesting issues. But I can tell you that I’ve had countless experiences where nature “talks” to me. If you’ve read any of my feather stories, you know what I’m talking about. Stuff too bizarre to be chance. I suspect many of you could tell stories, as well, of nature interacting intelligently with you. (I’d love to hear them, btw, so do share.)

I’m bringing this up now because it’s Abundance Week! We are celebrating the abundance of life, and our mother planet is absolutely the greatest giver of abundance we have. I think that one of the most important things we can do is to become acutely aware of our abundance exchange with Earth. Not just admiring a sunset now and then, but becoming very intentional about appreciating the gifts of nature. Whether it be refraining from using pesticides on our weedy grass, helping a spider out of the house, or funding the planting of trees.

Interacting with nature in a positive way increases the ABUNDANCE factor of one’s life. The physiological benefits to humans from hugging trees, for example, are well known (lowers cortisol, blood pressure, and heart rate plus boosts immune systems and oxytocin) and we are now learning that the TREE benefits as well!

Learning to see and be seen by nature (as happened with the little nesting bird) is, perhaps, the easiest and most pleasurable way to improve our lives and improve our world.

As I said to my son, when I told him the story about the gift from the little bird on that spring morning, “Anyone who doesn’t know that nature is talking to us all the time is missing out.”

Now, I know there are a lot of nature lovers out there. I would love to hear about your experiences, close encounters, forest-bathing adventures, etc.

with love, Cate

Please share forward as feels right and let’s multiply the Abundance.

I am very fond of doing nothing. In fact, I’ve fine-tuned the practice of it! And yet, I don’t feel like “The Master” of anything, including doing nothing. Most of the time, I’m just trying to make it through the day, like everybody else. 

So, I may not be a master, but I am pretty good at doing nothing. Many times, I’ll get to the end of a day and think, “Hmmm, I didn’t get much done today.” Then I’ll remind myself, “Yeah, but for someone who doesn’t get much done, you sure have done a lot in your life.”

And I guess that’s true. Many times, people have said to me, “Who does that?” 
As in: “Who just gets up one day and moves to Italy?” or “Who just goes and starts up a flight school?” or “Who just decides one day to buy a house, sight unseen, in Greece?” or "Who just randomly starts up an all-girl ukulele band?"

My own mother, after being given a copy of my third published book, looked at me and said, “Who are you?” I guess, in a family of people who live simple, uneducated lives, never wandering far from home, I was like an odd critter on the doorstep to her. 

So, ya, I guess I’ve done some stuff. But, to be honest, I’m not particularly impressed by any of it.

However, I am a little bothered by what is not being done lately. You see, in the past, I’ve simply allowed myself to be led by inspirations and synchronicities, trusting my instincts – when aligned! – to lead me where I need to go. And that’s how stuff would just happen, without effort, as if guided by divine forces.

But lately . . .
I feel uninspired, overwhelmed by the state of our world, borderline depressed . . . .

And look, I just arrived at my amazing house in Greece. I have a beautiful new grandson. I’m in excellent health. I have nothing to complain about! I have a great life and everything to be thankful for. 

So, why, I wonder, do I feel so out of alignment, unmotivated to do my lightwork, uninspired to participate in healing, uninterested in writing anything, and generally apathetic about life?

- NAP INTERLUDE - fade to lullaby....

And . . . yes, I went and took a nap, just now, in the middle of this. Because, hey! That's what a "master of doing nothing" does! And, when I woke up, in my head were these two words: “Heal Thyself.”
 
Boom! I should have known the angels were coming in for landing when, on a travel layover last week, I found a piece of paper in the bottom of my bag with these words scribbled, in my own handwriting:

“The Master does nothing, yet leaves nothing undone” (wisdom of Lao Tzu).

A scrap of paper, with a quote I probably jotted down years ago, pops up in my bag in Athens. . . . Two days later, I find that same bit of  paper in the pocket of my sweater as I walk past Tereza, who is industriously cleaning the dead bugs and spiderwebs out of my house. I think, “Oh, this is for Tereza” and hand it to her. 

In her broken English she asks, “What from, and what means?” I briefly explain what the Tao is and that this is a writing that reminds us to let go of trying and just trust that all will be as it should. Her eyes tear over as she nods and says, “Yes, this is what I am working on right now. This is what I need. Efcharisto!” Hugs are exchanged and the healing is mutual. A gentle interaction, divinely inspired. 

Suddenly, I know why I’ve been down. I'm reminded of why things haven't been happening like they used to. 

It’s simple: I haven’t been journaling; I haven’t been meditating (gulp); I haven’t been intentionally weaving joy, hope and abundance into my days. I haven’t spent enough time in nature, staying rooted to our mother planet. I haven’t made time for acts of service. I haven’t been doing THE PRACTICES. The practices I teach. The practices that have created all the magic in my life. The practices that require virtually no effort, and yet, “leave nothing undone” because of divine guidance.

It’s one thing to leave the doing undone. It’s another to neglect the practices . . . .

With great joy, I know the solution to my malaise. I need to take my own medicine. I need to go through my own book. I need to do the practices. Again and again.

And so, today, I start with the letter A. 
A is for Abundance. 
A great place to start. 
A reminder that "Abundance is the natural state of a Universe full of unlimited divine energy and the potential to provide for all . . . abundance already exists all around and in you. It is up to you to choose to recognize abundance . . . and discard limiting beliefs of scarcity and struggle. Abundance is like a lottery ticket you have already won, you just need to claim it."

I don't know about you all, but that is not the way the world has been "feeling" lately. And yet... it is up to us to practice abundance in order to experience it in our lives. And to create it in our world.

I remembering watching a couple I had just met, in a small vacation town, go through my book. They had so much fun with abundance. I'd see them in the grocery store, exclaiming at the sheer abundance of apples, or sitting on a bench, extolling the abundance of sunshine that day. They, literally, were creating their own abundance through their attitude. 

If any of you, dear readers, need a positive tonic for the malaise of the world, I invite you to join me in these practices. Start today with Abundance. And let it go from there, effortlessly, leaving nothing undone…. *

                “The Master does nothing, yet leaves nothing undone” Lao Tzu
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*For the next 26 weeks, each Sunday, I will write about that week’s easy, gentle practice  and we can all join in practicing it, wherever we are in the world. You do not need to have the book to follow along, although it will be easier (and more beautiful) to have the book (and there is much more supportive material in the book). You can check out Soul Primer, the Building Blocks of Happiness at www.soul-primer.com or on Amazon. 

Also, I’ve been thinking about starting up my subscriber chat . . . I will get that up and going to discuss our journey together - stay tuned! Be sure to subscribe if you have not already, and share forward, please - let’s build a world community on practices of love, kindness, empathy, and hope. That is the place I want to live. 
-----------------------
To get us started, here is a video from a woman who has bought many books to give to family and friends (and the kid’s book to give to her own grandchildren). So, yes, she is a fan and she has a message for the world. 

Well, I’m feeling better. I hope you are too.

Much love, Cate

I have been sitting with my sacred rage (which I wrote about here a couple weeks ago). 

In fact, I have set aside all coaching and classes and activities – including writing - to sit with it. Not in it. Not engulfed in it. Not in order to have a crazy wild rager of a party with it. But to recognize it - rage - as the natural companion to these times. And to take the time to get to know it. 

It is very clear to me that grief goes hand-in-hand with rage, although the grief part is often not acknowledged. The grief is for something that is irretrievably lost, something that has died, or been forcibly ripped from us. And it is the grief, in fact, that gives rise to the rage.

I could feel the grief the other night, while watching this sunset.

SUNSET

I sat
for a long time
in silence
so vast
I could hear the hymn
of the universe
singing
its love song
to me.

As the color faded
from the sky,
there was
not a single bird
not a wisp of wind
not a sign of life
except, the light,
slowly,
turning to gray.

Leaving my dragonfly studio to the descending dark,
I hugged the giant fir tree that guards the door,
and went home to play Lucinda William’s “Sweet Old World” on my ukulele.
—-

I recognized, in the visuals of this sunset, my own anger. With the vibrant light being covered by strikingly dark clouds and a layer of, shall we say, “angry red” between, it seemed nature was talking to me, as she does….

As I was writing this piece, an email came in (ah, synchronicities!) with this, from poet David Whyte:
“Anger is the deepest form of care, for another, for the world, for the self, for a life, for the body, for a family and for all our ideals, all vulnerable and all, possibly,
about to be hurt. Stripped of physical imprisonment and violent reaction,
anger points toward the purest form of compassion; the internal living flame
of anger always illuminates what we belong to, what we wish to protect
and those things for which we are willing to hazard and even imperil ourselves.”

Why would anger be the “deepest form of care”? Because it is (often imperfectly) outlining, defending, and calling for action to soothe our grief. Anger is the great guardian of grief. But, perhaps, grief does not need a guardian. Perhaps grief needs to be liberated and to be a national pastime!

And I wonder, what would happen if we learned to excavate the grief that lies under our anger? There is so much anger in the world right now. How, I am asking myself, can we get below it, to the grief?

In Valerie Kaur’s beautiful book, See No Stranger, she talks about the aftermath of 9/11. What started as grief, for America, quickly turned to anger (understandably so) and it was that anger we acted on, doing what we do too well – going to war. Ms. Kaur asks the question: What would have happened if we had allowed grief its full due, if we had joined together, as a nation, to wail and mourn our loss? 

I think, if we had taken the path of grief, instead of war, all the world would have held us in their virtual arms and we might, perhaps, have a different world right now. Of course, politics, world dynamics, ego, and so many other things go into global actions. But still. 

Maybe we can learn to put words to our loss when we feel anger. 
Maybe we can talk about the loss with each other and, together, find paths to healing. 
Maybe we can recognize anger as a gift that is calling us to identify and mourn whatever it is we have lost. 

I would love to hear from you if you are experiencing anger in these challenging days. What’s underneath it? Let’s have these discussions!!

 PS. I wish I had been better at helping the angry people in my life (yes, I’ve known a few). I wish I had been better at helping them drill down to the grief that was at the root of their anger. Of course, it’s hard to be a therapist or coach for the people closest to you…. 
Well! At least I can give the guy who just cut me off on the freeway that “purest form of compassion” and wonder, “what loss is he grieving?” Anybody with me? 😊

I welcome your feedback!
(Btw, if you give feedback here, in the app - instead of replying to the email - all can join in! But know that all replies are read and responded to!)

With love,
Cate

I have a lot of rage right now.

This morning, I woke up, walked out to the kitchen, and saw the broom in the corner. I immediately thought, “We are so done! We women are so done being the freakin’ dustpan for the dirt and detritus that men sweep our way.”

Honestly, I wish I could pick up the broom and fly away from all of it – the war, the innocents dying, the littlest ones being preyed upon by powerful men, the cruelty and violence toward poor souls who come here just looking for a better life, the deception and hypocrisy that have secretly written the history pages of America and Israel. 

And it fills me with disgust and rage that we loving women have been gently supporting, making dinner, bearing children, and sweeping kitchen floors for monsters who prey upon the weak and defenseless and rape, pillage, and plunder the earth and all on it. 

I recently threw off my proverbial apron in an Apron Hotflash (see here). 

Today I drop-kicked the symbolic dustpan into outer space. 

I am SO DONE. 
SO DONE with the patriarchy. 
SO DONE with men commenting on women’s bodies, expecting us to giggle and flutter our eyelashes at them. 
SO DONE with agreeing, just to keep the peace. 
SO DONE with being the cheerleader for a man’s goals and achievements. 
SO DONE with being quiet when I want to scream to the top of the tower at the men who have fucked up, not just the world, but a whole lot of helpless women and children on the way. 

The men in my world (who I love and adore, by the way) have been put on notice that I have ZERO TOLERANCE now for anything even remotely resembling patriarchy. 

I got nothing left for mansplaining, bragging, ego-stroking, talking over me, making decisions for me, making decisions that affect me without first getting my input, acting like you know everything, complaining about my menstrual cycle, commenting on my looks or my driving, or making even the tiniest aggressive or derogatory comments about anyone else. 
Anyone! 
I don’t wanna hear you bitch about another driver’s skills, the guy on the sidewalk who “should get a job,” the mother who “should raise her kids better,” or anyone else who, for some reason, doesn’t please you.

Get a life. The world is not here for you, to please you. In fact - hard truth! -no one on this planet was put here to please you.* 

Truth be told, YOU were put here to awaken and evolve humanity. 
So, please! Get on it, will you? 
Trust me, you wanna start waking up, fellas, because the women of the world are waking up, and there’s a whole lot of us that are SO DONE with the old way.

(Note: there are lots of places to read about how matriarchal societies were once the norm and are proven to be optimal in creating healthy communities and to read about the detrimental results of the religions that were formed to co-opt power out of the teachings of the great awakened masters. Those deep subjects are not the focus of this article, but please read about them if you haven’t already.)

It’s time to get caught up, guys, because the times they are a-changin’! 

Well! I know some people may be offended by this. 
And maybe they’ll even unsubscribe. 
So be it. 

But here’s the deal: A bit of feminism here, a bit of marching there, even a nice dose of shock and righteous anger is NOT ENOUGH. 

We’ve all seen, by now, that our world, as we know it, has been built on a foundation of power-mongering, greed, cruelty, lies, and predatory behavior. 
And, no, that is not every individual man’s fault. 
But it did happen on your watch, guys. 
And it is time we put a FULL STOP to it.

How? Well, there's power in numbers....
May every woman - and every man - rise up and say “I’M SO DONE” with this bullshit. 
Say it out loud, and show it. In your home, in your community. In your business.
We can see this starting to happen, and I love that the awakening is ON. 
I’m here, for the record, to say, I’m all in. 
Are you? 
I hope so. 

Maybe, together, we can create a R-Evolution!

Whew! I am not a big fan of anger, or rage. This, however, is a Sacred Rage that is necessary for our times. Not violent. Not, actually, angry. Just the rage of NO MORE.
If there was ever a time when rage was appropriate, it is now. It is time for change.

Written with deep love for this planet, and all creatures upon it. 
And, yes, a continued hope for humanity - we can do this. 
Love, Cate

*I am ranting about men here, but that there are plenty of women who have this entitled commentary going on as well. So, if you are her, the same goes for you – no one on this planet was put here to please you, so just get over it. Please!

www.Soul-Primer.com 
Books for healing and world change

Mary lived in a small village, in a world that was much simpler than today’s. In those days, people were very busy just taking care of themselves. They had a lot to do just to survive so that they would have enough food and shelter and safety. That’s pretty much all they worried about in those days.

Mary was a good daughter and always helped her mother and father without complaint. She was generous and kind to neighbors and strangers alike. If an argument arose between her friends or siblings, it would suddenly dissolve into thin air when Mary entered the room. In the community, people began to notice how petty disputes and grievances mysteriously vanished when Mary walked into a shop or café, or even just sat on the bench in the town square.

There was something about Mary’s presence that just seemed to soothe the air.

The folks at the farmers’ market always knew that the plants coming from Mary’s parent’s farm looked a little fresher, lasted a little longer, and tasted a little sweeter. When Mary, who helped her mother on market day, noticed a bit of mallow, or chard, beginning to wilt in the hot afternoon sun, she could just touch it and it would freshen up again.

Mary loved being outside. She loved listening to the birds sing and the small stream gurgle. She loved, equally, the sun and the rain on her face. She loved putting her ears against the rough trees to hear their stories and she loved squishing her bare toes in soft, moist soil. When she would return home, wet and muddy, with leaves in her hair, her mother would sigh, and say, “Girls don’t….” But, invariably, the words would dissolve in her mother’s mouth, vaporizing under the shining delight of Mary’s being.

As Mary began to grow out of her childhood years, the light that seemed to emanate from her became even more pronounced. Many people were drawn to her, for a word of wisdom, or a healing touch. However, some of the men in the village began to be a little wary of her, and moved to the other side of the street when she passed by. She was different, and this made them uneasy.

One early morning, Mary was wandering along her beloved stream, saying good morning to the plants and rocks and birds, when she saw something she’d never seen before: Amongst the greenery along the shore stood a single brilliant red reed, swaying in the breeze. Mary had never seen such a luminescent red plant in nature before.

Amazed, she laid down beside the red reed to watch the light refracting off it into a million dancing crystals. She lay very still and could hear the reed humming, as if angels were singing to her through its vibrating rails. Suddenly, everything stilled -the breeze stopped, the birds fell silent, even the water stopped gurgling. There was absolute silence, as if time itself had paused. Then, the red reed bent gently over and touched Mary on her belly. She closed her eyes as she felt a powerful jolt run through her whole body.

Then everything started up again, the breeze, the birds, the stream. A frog croaked nearby.

Mary opened her eyes and sat up. To her surprise, the red reed was gone! She shook her head, thinking, “I must have fallen asleep and been dreaming.”

Walking back home, Mary felt just a little strange, like she was walking on air.

The next morning, Mary found one drop of blood on her sheets.

PS. I woke up one morning with the words Red Reed in my head. The vision of this story started to form. 
Later that day, I wove myself a bracelet from these red threads I’d been saving. 
Now, I'm just looking for my red thread sisters.... Calling into the wilderness......

Love, Cate

I had a dream last night about a childhood friend that I haven’t spoken with in years. This morning, I sent her a message saying I’d had a surprise dream about her. She replied back, "Isn't that ironic" - her family had buried their father just yesterday, on what would have been his 99th birthday.

With tears in my eyes, I remember this man. He was gentle and smart, funny and wise. He worked hard and enjoyed outdoor adventures. He was a loving and supportive husband, a caring and involved father, and a committed philanthropist as well. He would sooner have cut off his own hand than raise it against someone who was sleeping in the street or fleeing from injustice in another country. 
He cared about, and for, others.

As I think about his quiet and gentle strength, I contrast it to the guy in the big truck who cut me off on the freeway yesterday, and the guy in a truck who flipped me off because I tried to walk across a country road just when he was racing around the corner at Indy 500 speed.*

I think about the masked men pushing women down to the ground at gunpoint. 
I think about the men hauling fathers and children (children!) off to prison just for having the nerve to try to find hope in a new land.

And I think of my three sons, just trying to survive with some measure of joy and happiness, in a world that is hovering on the edge of darkness.

As much as we hear, nowadays, that we need a world led by women (which I’ve been proposing for years!), we also need the men of the world to find themselves. How? Well, men's groups would be a good start. 

I know all of two men who are in men’s groups. One is my eldest son, and one is an older gentleman acquaintance.

I imagine a lot of men would find peace in laying down the learned persona of strength and authority. And relief in the option to cry and bare the softness of their soul.
I mean, it must be exhausting, and absolutely soul draining, to have to try so hard to be strong, rich, and sexy all the time. Hey guys, the world wants to see the real you - your luminous soul -not just the dude who (traditionally) has earned his value by being able to produce, protect, and procreate. 

I can envision a world where women are leading the way, with their skills of compassion, collaboration, co-creation and community building, and they are supported and encouraged by strong and humble men who have set aside their egos and are walking in their true might. A man walking tall - in spirit, not in ego - is one of the most beautiful and powerful creatures on earth.

Ok, I know this picture is stylized to show a gorgeous man. But honestly, this is what an awakened man, of any physical size or shape, looks like to a woman when he is walking in humility and light. Hot!

Please comment  and share if you know of men in men’s groups. Not football fantasy or sports groups. Men’s groups that explore issues of the soul and the heart. Men’s groups that allow our brothers to put down their guard, and lay down their defenses, in order to just practice being themselves - maybe selves they’ve never even had a chance to meet! 

So, speaking to the men - are you in, have you ever been in, or do you know of anyone in a men’s group? Would you join a men’s group?

For the women – would you like the men in your life to have been/be in a men’s group? Why?

Please join the conversation here. The world really needs us, now, to be talking about this stuff.

I love you!
❤️
Cate
PS. If you want to read more about what IS the Divine Masculine, I write about it here

*Some of my best friends are men with trucks, so no bias here against truck owners!!😊

Do you have a list of stuff that you are just So. Done. With?

I do. Starting with the patriarchy, lies, hypocrisy, and violence of the world, and on to energy-draining relationships, attachment to stuff, and showy spirituality, and then - lest we forget - guys in trucks cutting me off on the freeway and the rudeness and meanness that seems to be growing like weeds in our country.

Like a stew on the stove, these things have been simmering on my back burner for some time. Yesterday, I just ripped the whole damn thing off, like an apron on fire, and flung it under the kitchen chair. Done. Done steaming and searing. Done roasting and broasting. Done braising, broiling, and baking.

Not done caring. Just done reheating it all, over and over again, with every reel, every update, every pop-up notice. Done checking my phone in the middle of the night. Done looking at it first thing in the morning, too. Done keeping my nervous system on edge.

And I’m celebrating the fuck out of that. I’m dancing joy back into my life; I’m singing at the top of my lungs to recall the power of my voice; I’m stretching out wide to remember my right to take up space; I’m marking up walls as a reminder to leave my mark and to make it about things that matter.

And it feels good, because I know the world needs me to leave my mark and to take up space and to speak my wisdom and to dance my truth. The world doesn’t need more pancake flipping from the sidelines. It needs us to shine bright enough that others can find their way in the darkness - maybe, even, by the sparks flying off our Apron Hot Flash.

Shine, baby, shine!

Love, Cate

What, dear readers, are you doing to shine today? It does not need to be big, it can simply be making other people smile. Share your shine with us. 🙏

The reality is, I just want to share with you the wisdom I’ve gathered over many scrappy years. And I want to hear about your experiences. I don’t care about the #s, but I do care about helping people live well and cohabitate better. Toward that end, I'm starting to do more videos on Youtube and LinkedIn as a way of "talking" more with y'all. I'm also starting a powerful 6 week course in February on the skills to get us to a better place. You can check that out here: Practices for an Abundant Life

As for Substack, well, I think I’ll just get back to writing from my soul, and those of you who want to stick around can do so. I hope you do. 💕

With big love,
Cate
Oh! Another thing! I told my marketing gal yesterday that, as of January 5, Soul Primer for Kids is now available on Amazon – newly revised and republished in an easier format, and easy to order.

She rolled her eyes, banged her forehead, and said, “Could you not have given us a chance to market and launch it?” Oops. I forgot. Well, if you want to check it out, it’s here: Soul Primer for Kids
I keep hearing people say, “If we want to change the world, we have to be teaching our kids a better way.” I believed that so much, I made a book for it. Please share forward🐸

Tonight I cry for Renee Good
I cry for our country
I cry for the world
and I cry for all of us

That's all
Goodnight

Enjoy!

PS. Monday’s Meditation went up today too. Be sure to subscribe to my Youtube channel, while you’re there, to get the latest videos. ❤️

PSS. I’m feeling this will be a big year to really focus on our light work. If you want to join our monthly Light Warriors Gathering, just send me a message from my website - soul-primer.com

Big love to you all!

Cate

Happy New Year, all you beautiful souls!

Despite a year of challenges, I am feeling deep gratitude for all the goodness that life continues to offer. 

I am so grateful that the sun shines, the trees sway, the birds sing.
I am so grateful for the people who continue to love me, despite everything.
I am so grateful for each of you, who help make this beautiful world go ’round. 

It feels like 2025 was a year to shake us loose from our foundations – globally, politically, economically, personally. Perhaps you've felt this? I know I experienced it all – from the void created by a relationship crisis, to a flooded house, to deep sadness for the state of the world - it’s been a tough year. 

And yet….. The new year feels full of promise. Numerologically, it is the beginning of a new cycle (a “1” year) and it is also the year of the powerful Fire Horse. This is auspicious. But even more compelling is the message coming through my meditations, and from my angels: Change is coming

Change is coming. 

We are being called to grow, to expand beyond previous understandings of what it is to be human. And this is way beyond AI. It is a level of soul expansion that destroys the archaic habits of greed and cruelty and suffering. Yes, there is a battle ground forming. All you need to do, to prepare, is to tend your soul - make sure your practices are in place, your intentions are true, and you are aligned with the power of the cosmos and 
with Mother Nature. (I am happy to help with any of that. Just ask 🙏)

It is time to become SI. It is time to step into the power of Spiritual Intelligiance. 

Welcome to 2026. Let’s make it a year of transformation!

Love, Cate
I'd love to hear from you!! What are you grateful for? What are you looking forward to in 2026? How are you going to step into your own Spiritual Intelligence in this powerful new year? 
MAY BLESSINGS ABOUND!

www.soul-primer.com

And then it had a river running through it.

Wow. A flooded house is a lot of work, plus devastating, exhausting, and expensive!

So much loss… 27 years of things I held precious - photo albums of my children, mementos from my parents, so many bits and memories, now covered with mud and on their way to the dump.

My heart goes out to any of you that have had similar experiences. And yet, as painful as it is, it also is strangely liberating to shed all of that stuff that we accumulate over the years. So appropriate for the end of the Year of the Snake.

So, I barely got today’s Monday Meditation in, but here it is - all about Letting Go!

Of all the practices in my book, Soul Primer, The Building Blocks of Happiness, this is one I use ALL THE TIME! L is for Letting Go, and it ain’t one-and-done, folks. This is a practice that requires regular attention.

Please enjoy this gentle and short meditation. Especially if there is stuff you are struggling to let go.

As always, I encourage you to comment here and/or on Youtube, and to subscribe as you see fit.

Love, Cate

www.soul-primer.com