It will help you settle your nervous system, separate useful information from external pressure, and reconnect with your own discernment. You will leave feeling calme…

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When my husband and I first started dating in 2012, we created a rule : We decided to operate under the agreement that when texting, we would always get back to each other at the first convenient time, and that we could safely know to conclude that the other would get back to us at the first convenient time.

So if there was no response, it was because the other person was not available.

It was not because the other was playing games.
It was not because one of us didn’t like the other.
It was not passive-aggressive or a game of any kind. It did not mean anything about the other person. It only meant that they were not available.

I can’t tell you how much peace that rule brought me. Honestly, I attribute it to one of the factors for why our relationship developed and became so healthy and stable.

But that is not the norm.

The norm is that we are in a texting world where we think we are in relationship with the other person, but most of it is happening in our own minds and the stories we make up.

It has become accepted and expected. It’s deemed ok, for example, to ghost someone and leave the reason completely up to the ghosted to dream up. Our imaginations are free to roam unleashed.

While my relationship flourished in communication stability with my beau, I can’t tell you how many of my friendships have deteriorated from a lack of texting clarity.

I have slowly lost friends who think I rejected them because I didn’t respond to a text. Or I took too long. Or they tally that I respond more than I instigate, so that means XYZ.

I have slowly lost friends who mistook an emoji they thought meant something different than what I intended. (Even a ❤️ can be love, or passive aggressive - the choice is that of the receiver).

I have slowly lost friends who respond to only parts of a text, thus leaving the integral part forever unaddressed, hanging out there on its open loop forever, slowly withering away the strength of our connection.

Or vice versa!

When we text, we assume we are communicating with another person, and it’s convenient and fun to have such instant access. And of course, it is!

But I think our reliance on texting as the only form of connection has actually made the connections tenuous at best.

Humans are not designed to respond to written words only in instant dialogue. Words carry maybe 10 to 30 percent of a message and everything else, meaning tone, facial expression, body language, and presence, carries the rest.

No wonder so many people feel anxious or unsure or codependent in relationships! If they are built or sustained through porous methods like texting, how can stability be found?

When we communicate only through text, we remove all of the other forms of understanding what’s going. And we are left to fill in the gaps ourselves.

We are so quick to conclude a gap in time to be a rejection. Or a short note with no punctuation to be curt. Or rapid fire texting to be aggressive.

None of those things are “true”. They are just true to our inner children who are seeking certainty for safety. And we forget to be the adults and check ourselves for story-making.

Because of this, most of the time we aren’t even communicating with a person at all. We are just in relationship with our own shadows, trying to digest input from another through our dusty dark side, while protecting ourselves from the hurt/rejection that the shadow tells us is inevitable. Or, the opposite — waiting for the heart emojied response that confirms that we are ok.

Either way, it is just us and us. The other person is barely there.

And this, this is the demise of our modern communication. The very thing that enhanced it is the thing that is ruining it.

I often wonder how many of our relational problems would be solved if we just picked up the damn phone?

“Hey, is everything ok?”
”Hey, I’m making this silence mean that you are upset with me. Is that true?”
”Hey, I’m reading your tone as XYZ. Do you mean it that way?”
”Hey, you didn’t respond to that important question I asked, can we talk about that?”

Even if they did mean to punish or hurt you in that moment with their text, chances are, just hearing your voice and bringing you back to authentic connection reminds them that you are human, and that you care about each other. You can talk it out.

But no. We avoid. Avoid. Avoid. React. React. React. Punish. Punish. Punish. Control. Control.

I guess they don’t like me.
I guess they aren’t really my friend.
I guess I don’t have that job.
Seems like she’s over it.
What a coward. Etc.

At least 95% of the relational problems people are having with each other are because of this human need to control, protect, defend or enhance. And all of of this requires we make meaning, and usually meaning that is not in support of us.*
(*Not a real stat. It’s a CF generalized stat).

I want to tell you something. Every other week I host a live “hot seat coaching” call with my Identity Advantage clients, and every day I am in coaching dialogue with mastermind clients. So what I am sharing with you comes from the sheer volume of pattern observations I witness (and experience in my own personal life), day in and day out, week in and week out, for the past decade.

By the time someone realizes all of this could have been avoided, prevented, fixed or repaired with the other, the story is so deeply absorbed into their cells that their heart is racing at even the idea of picking up the phone.

“You want me to call her???? Are you mad?”

Yes. Yes I do. I want you to actually connect. Do the hard thing that is actually the easier thing. This profound waste of energy over many days is much harder than finding out the truth in 2 mins.

When you pick up the phone and connect, you have a real moment to respond to. A real human. That is the way that conversation is at its healthiest. And you can be at most peace.

And you know what else I found? Almost always, the client comes back saying they were wrong about the story they had, they have come back into connection stronger than ever, and that they feel absolute freedom and relief from straightening it all out.

Hard conversations and heart conversations are always worth it.

Because of this, I find it interesting that the trend is moving farther and farther away from phone calls, and more and more common to only communicate through text. It’s tilted so far that direction that the rule seems to be that you have to text someone to ask if you can call them.

The idea of just calling someone is becoming more and more foreign.

Despite the common trends of how people communicate, these are not hard-fast rules. You do get to decide for yourself. You own your relationship with your phone, with texting and with how you respond to others. You even get to decide if you write in full sentences or abbreviated words. (I’m adding it in as you will always see YOU from me and never U.)

I digress.

My recommendation is that you free yourself from this inner torment and create your own standards for your mental health and well-being. Take radical personal responsibility for who you will be in text communication.

This way you can live by your own consistency, and have that felt sense of stability and safety in your relationships.

Examples of standards to help you get started. Feel free to add your own ideas into the comments section. Sometimes this is easier as a hive creation:

1. I operate under the premise that if someone has something to say to me, they will say it directly. I hereby refrain from interpreting anything that is not in the words themselves.

2. If I have something important to say to someone, I will honour them enough to call them. If they can’t be reached, I will consider sending what I have to say over a voice recording so they can hear my tone and feel my energy.

3. I will check my internal state before engaging in a text exchange. Am I resourced? Am I hungry? Am I activated?

4. I will ask what meaning I am making out of a text, and separate fact from story.

5. I will pause, breathe, even put the phone down for a few minutes before responding to any charged exchanges.

6. I will create agreements with any friends I text with frequently so that we never need to explain ourselves about a lag in response time.

7. Any time I feel disconnect from someone, I will pick up the damn phone and call them.

Who will you be as it pertains to your phone and texting?

You get to decide.

This audio note is inspired by something that came up on my client call yesterday in The Identity Advantage. The client was doing the morning work. Journaling. Meditating. And yet, she said she felt overwhelmed and asked, “How do I get clarity?” As we talked, I could see the problem. It wasn’t what she was doing, it was how she was doing it…

I thought y…

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Yesterday was the final nail on the coffin : I finally sold my professional camera kit. Five prime lenses, two bodies, two flashes, the camera roller-bag, and the last item of my old identity. For the bargain price of practically nothing.

I hadn’t actually opened the bag since my last shoot 10 years ago, but I was holding onto it…just in case…

Just in case what? Just in case I find myself back in my old profession? Just in case I miss it? Just in case I want to go back to Old Me?

It wasn’t logical, but this is what we do. Even though I had not touched it or thought about that kit for a decade, I held onto it, just. in. case.

The process of genuinely changing your identity is not as simple as people like to think. When we look at others and the bold changes they make in their lives, it can be so easy to conclude from the outside that somehow it must be easier for them.

How did she just quit that job and start that business?
How did she leave that marriage and life she lived for 20 years, to now be taking certifications around the world?
How did she go from $100k years to $100k months?
How did she sell everything and move abroad?

She must have something that I don’t.

Nope. She doesn’t.

The answer will never be found from the outside. It is nothing she has. The outside is just the outer display of what has happened on the inside. (ie. I sold my camera gear on the outside, but it was a reflection of my true complete process on the inside).

She became someone aligned with a new way of living, which also included becoming the kind of woman who takes a chance on herself.

But how does that happen?

The process starts by becoming discerning about what you choose to believe about change. There are a lot of common beliefs out there that if they run the show, will halt your progress before it even begins.

When considering who we are and how we live, we want to be very careful about which ideas we get emotionally involved in. The new identity that is required to live out your new life, can not exist when believing the old limits.

Let’s break down a few common ones…

5 Myths to debunk if you are thinking about making a big change for yourself:

1. Things have to be bad before you make change.
   Gosh, the number of times I was told that I should stay in photography because I was good at it, was astounding. I get that it made logical sense to them. When you are good at something = keep doing it.
   
   However, we are not talking about a life that is created from logic and baseline. We are talking about women who create their lives from desire! Women who might be good at more than one thing. Multi-faceted, multi-curious, multi-dimensional women who are curious about how good it can get, not settling for good enough.

   Don’t create your life from the lows. Create from the highs, and go higher.
   

2. You have to have everything set up all tickety-boo before it’s time to make the leap.
   This includes waiting to have the income, the answer, the option, the time, the support….
   
   Girl, if you wait for this moment, you’ll never experience a new identity. Only that of a woman waiting.
   
   In the world of creating from the inside, you can expect that you will NOT see evidence on the outside to indicate you are ready. If you want to generate more money, you can’t wait for the money to be there first. If you want to build a new business, you have to take a bet on yourself and create that business.

   
   This is an exercise in faith. And trust. And daring to take a chance on yourself - without having the proof in advance that is going to work out.
   

3. Others will support you and make it all easier for you.
   Some will. But it won’t necessarily be the people you expect it to be.
   Often, the people closest to us in our lives are the ones who benefit from us staying the same. It works for them to have you as you are. And, as long as you don’t change, they don’t have to change.

   
   Think about how uncomfortable it can be to have someone in your life make a move and go after their dreams. It forces you to take a look at your life and what you’re doing and ask some tough questions.
   
   For some people, this is a good thing. One person creates a ripple that causes others to get on board and play too. For other people, they don’t want anything to do with that mirror, and will choose instead to judge, criticize, mock and convince you of your fears.
   
   What I will say in this moment is, people will show you who they are when you start making changes. And, what they think about you is none of your business. Carry on, invite them to join you in the party, or wave from the ride. Do not expect or wait for them to celebrate you and you’ll be fine.
   

4. You need to know how you’re going to get there.
   When we make change at the level of the identity, it is actually the opposite : You need to NOT know how you’re going to get there.
   
   If you know how, then you are leaning on your old identity, your past, your usual processes, and although the form might change (meaning you are an entrepreneur and not an employee), but there’s no change.
   
   The whole point is that you make this decision and you don’t know how to get there! You don’t know how it’s going to work out. You don’t know the ideas that will come, the people you will meet, the opportunities you will receive, and you won’t know who you’ll have to be to make that all happen.
   
   And that is exactly where we start. Now we are creating from the inside, and you become another woman. The woman who dared to go for her dream - without knowing how it would pan out.
   

5. You need to be ready.
   Ohhh the stories we tell ourselves about readiness. The lies we weave and believe. I’m totally going to do this thing, once I am ready.
   
   Readiness is an attitude, not a fact.
   
   Waiting to be ready is one of the most bought procrastination techniques out there, and we loooove to justify it. It’s so reasonable and acceptable.
   
   Not only is readiness a fallacy, but it supports the illusion that you are in the ring when in fact you’re on the sidelines.
   
   Don’t fall for this dubious waiting game. You’re ready. Do something now. Take action now. Just do the next step. Make a move.

I share all of these from my lived experience.

When I chose to make the leap from photography to coaching in 2015, I ended on a high. My photo business was thriving, I was flying all over the world for weddings, I had the best clients, I loved it all. I chose to make the move from my heart, not because something was wrong. (1) Even though all people said to me was, “But you’re so good at it!!”, as though that’s a problem. They were right, I was good at it. I’m good at this, too.

I had no idea how I was going to start the new business, how I was going to get coaching clients, or even how to coach yet. (2) I just knew that this was my next form of expression, my next form of being of service, and it felt right. That’s what I started with and all that I needed.

I had the support of my new husband and some close friends who support me no matter what I do. Knowing how I love to go deep in my conversations and question asking, they got why this change made sense and actually was my calling.

Many other people met this announcement with confusion, judgment, and even questioning if I had joined a cult. (3) They told me I would never make money in this business, that it is a hard business and that my social media posts were egotistical because they were photos of me now (instead of brides).

I had a vision for what I was building, and I definitely had no idea how I was going to get there. (4) All I knew was that coaching is all about integrity. So if I was going to teach anyone anything, I had to be the embodiment of what I was teaching. Be my best product. I did everything I told others to do and trusted the process the same way I am telling you to trust it now.

I was not ready. At all. But, I knew that ready only happens when you make a decision. (5) So I was not ready, but I had decided. And once I made the decision, I just kept taking the best next steps. I hired a coach, she had me put a date in the calendar for my first workshop.

I picked a random day in November for my workshop I named “Finding Your Frame” (November is my least favourite month, so I love putting positive dates and experiences in November), and invited 8 photographers to attend. I was inspired to give them each a 1:1 call after the experience, and 6 signed up as private clients.

Catherine Farquharson Coaching was born.

Even though I have lived as her and grown my business over the past decade, it felt so appropriate to sell off my gear yesterday, and send the kit across the country to a friend who is as excited about his new photography craft as I used to be.

That’s what this is all about. Following your heart, and letting it lead. My friend gets to explore his new identity as a photographer as I let the last pieces of mine go.

I hope as you are reading this, you are thinking about the thing you are wanting to do.

I hope you’re catching the sneaky thoughts that try to stop you, distract you and talk you out of the idea, and instead call BS on those thoughts that can not be trusted.

Instead, I invite you to really think about how you’d need to show up for yourself if you were to make this move.

Who would you need to be?

What would you need to believe?

What would you need to think about?

How would you need to feel about yourself, your future and your possibilities?

Who would you need to become?

Maybe it’s time to make that happen.
❤️ Catherine

It sounds like a simple question. It isn’t.

Most people either go blank, reach for an old answer, or say something that feels close enough. And then move on.

In this episode, we slow that down.

The point is not to figure it out all at once, but to notice what actually happens for you when that question is asked. Where do you go? What do you avoid? What do you override?

To really be able to answer this question, we take a different approach. Smaller. Closer. Something you can actually feel your way into and know the answer for. That’s where we start.

This is less about having the answer, and more about changing your relationship to the question itself.

Because the way you’ve been asking it might be the very thing keeping you from knowing.

For the first time I can remember, I had no Summer plans this year. Nothing specific in the calendar, other than being home.

If you are Canadian, you understand that this qualifies as a crisis. We pay our dues through the Fall, Winter, Spring, using the promise of Summer plans as the beacon of light to guide us back to ourselves.

And when Summer comes, we hold tightly to those plans. We want them to take us away, far far away, from everyday life. This allows every sunset, every cob of corn, every crackling fire, every swim to be relished to the best of our ability.

That is the Canadian way, and I am no exception. I obsess over maximizing the Summer Season like I am a 13 year old girl at Summer Camp. Which is why an empty calendar felt like a problem. Very. Uncomfortable.

I now live outside of a major city on a 10 acre property. I am in Nature every day, and yet because it is “home”, it is normal for me. I also work from home, so it is my familiar.

I chose to be here all Summer, but I didn’t want to feel like I missed the cherished season because I was “just at home”. You know, living normal life. I still wanted to experience Summer with awe and appreciation and drink it all in!

To wake myself up from the routine of it, I started calling my place “The Summer House.” It was an inside joke at first, pretending that I was one of those people “heading to the Hamptons”. I was away for the Summer, at The Summer House.

Then I started to notice what the words were doing…

They were waking up my appreciation for where I live in an unexpected way. They were having me look with new eyes. They brought in a sense of play. Even more helpfully, they were installing my boundaries for what I’m available for and what I’m not, as now I was “out of town”.

You see, a Summer House is not a house you live in. It's a house you escape to. A Summer House has a certain light in the afternoon. You eat outside at a Summer House. You take the long way through the garden. Nobody rushes at a Summer House, and nobody walks past the swing chair without sitting in it.

Within a week of this name change, I no longer was in one place, wishing to be another or feeling any FOMO whatsoever. I was happily rooted where I’d chosen to be for the Summer, inviting the days to be longer and the Summer memories to flow in. I also noticed I was getting up earlier to enjoy the sunrise, finding swimming holes to float in, eating more salad and watching the breeze in the trees.

So what’s really going on here?

Nothing changed, other than the name. But it turned out the name was like a title change and a permission slip at the same time.

I am not alone in this phenomenon. I see this same move play out in my coaching work with women who are about to go through a transition of some sort : The renaming comes first, and then the new experience follows from their declaration.

We like to think that our words describe our experience, and of course, they do. But they don’t just describe it, they actually build it.

What you call something is what it becomes. The name is the set of instructions. The name is what tells us what to pay attention to and how to treat it.

When it was simply my house, the invisible instructions are embedded : this is the place that holds your life. And this is the place you maintain. The container for the to-do list. The garden, the laundry, the thing that needs you. And, like the rest of us, I follow those instructions faithfully, the way we all follow instructions we don’t know we’ve been given.

It turns out that the name “Summer House” came with different instructions.

This is a place you get to be. It’s a privilege. You can live at a different pace and notice the light. Be a little on vacation, even on a Tuesday.

And then from there, it just kept expanding! If the name of the house changed so much, what would happen if I did this for every area?

To find out, I started to rename all the activities in my day so that they romanticized Summer.

I started by changing my working hours to “Summer Hours”, inviting in more luxurious mornings. I indulged in “Devotional Discipline” with extra time for my morning meditation and journaling, followed by sunrise swimming, followed by coffee with my husband.

Then I chose my Summer attire to feel “Cottage Chic” which means it flowed and worked with the Summer heat.

In the peak of July heat, you could often find me taking a short “Seasonal Siesta”.

In order to wake up the energy of these intentions, I chose my actions to be deliberate and my schedule spacious.

And then I noticed even more…

In living this new reality, I started to become aware that this new operating system acted as a kind of filter for decisions. A protective guardrail.

Instead of being at the mercy of my calendar like I do in other parts of the year, or humming or haaaing about obligations or “shoulds”, when I have a new invitation I now ask, “Is this aligned with Summer House Living?” Or, ”Does this take away from, or add to, my Summer House experience?”

With each invitation, I run it through that filter and then I make my decision based on the assessment.

I want to be careful here, because this is not a pep talk about positive thinking, and I’m not suggesting you rename your way out of a life that needs changing. Some things need more than a new word. That’s a different conversation, and we’ll have it here too.

I share this with you now so that you can see the power of influence that our naming has on our experience.

So, let’s make this applicable and helpful to you. Here is where we start : Noticing your names.

I invite you to scan and look for this effect in your own life, because you have summer houses everywhere, currently operating under other names.

Listen for how you refer to things without ever consciously deciding to…
“My crazy week.”
“My little business.”
“A difficult conversation.”

Each one arrives with embedded instructions.

A crazy week actually instructs you to brace.
A little business instructs you to undermine yourself and stay little.
A difficult conversation instructs you to invite stress, catastrophize, rehearse, delay, and dread, long before anyone has even said a word.

Don’t even get me started on the impact of the names we give ourselves.
“The reliable one.”
“Not a morning person.”
“Bad with money.”

We think we’re reporting the facts. But in actuality, we’re writing them.

Our experience follows our naming and framing.

In summary, my house and home was already to my liking. I didn’t need that to change. The name change allowed me to see it all, my whole Summer experience and the way I want to experience it, with new eyes.

So here are two simple and powerful questions to take with you this week:

1. What can you identify in your life that you are experiencing exactly the way you’ve named it?

2. And what would you like to re-name in your life to invite in a new experience?

I’d love to hear what you find. Reply or leave a comment with the old name, the new name, and what shifted.

❤️ Catherine

P.S. This is the territory of this new publication, by the way. What’s Really Going On Here is a field guide to the hidden patterns that shape who we are, observed through the words we use, the conversations we have and the choices we make.

Every week I’ll bring you a Field Note like this one: a small sighting from real life, and the pattern underneath it. If you want them to land in your inbox (if this one hasn’t already), this is the moment to hit “Subscribe”.

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Let’s talk imperfect action. Because that’s what’s launching something like a Substack requires. Imperfect action, and an ability to be ok with that imperfection.

A whole new platform, a whole new operating system, a whole new thought-sequence. It’s enough to keep you in the “just one more thing” cycle forever.

But we have to do this every time we launch something new, do we not? At the start, it’s all fantasy as we imagine how great it will feel when we are in said place. The place where the ideal lives, and we experience the bliss energy of success. Yum.

Most people stay in that fantasy place. It’s like an ecstasy haven for well-meaning perfectionists, as so often the intention for what they are going to do is met with the validation for that intention.

Oh, you’re going to write a book? Good for you!!!
Great business idea, you’ll be amazing at it.

High performers are applauded because what they do, they do so well. Naturally, when such a person says they are going to launch something new, it is met with enthusiasm. And oh it feels goooooood.

But you know what else it’s met with if you’re a high performer who’s also a Perfectionist? Internal pressure. The holy sh*t factor as the realness of the idea sets in. It starts to feel like launching something new is risky and comes at way too high of a cost. It’s not long before it all spirals down down down into defeatest thinking.

Oh no. I said I was going to do this thing, and so it has to be good.
What will they think if I don’t do this well?
What if I embarrass myself?
And we mustn’t forget the old tried and true: What if now one reads it, wants it buys it, etc?

And that’s where we stop.

It’s just too big of a risk. The potential failure, shame, disappointment, judgments, old pattern re-enforcement… it’s too much to take.

So the idea stays dormant, living in the utopia of potential. Applauded for it’s intention, rarely for its existence.

But not anymore. Not anymore.

The cost isn’t actually to your ego if you fail. The cost is to your future if you don’t learn how to unravel from this adaptive pattern and let yourself be messy and try new things.

It comes down to the choice to override the pattern and choose to show up differently for yourself. To trust yourself. You choose to be someone who is willing to play in uncertainty, step into something new, and be ok with the discomfort of living in the unknown. There is no other option.

And, despite what your mind might want you to think with its stalling tactics, you can’t actually do it right or perfectly. That time will never come. If you could, then it just wouldn’t be new. You can only get better as you go, step by step.

So for those of you who have dared to step forward and create your Substack as something new, even with all this mental noise inviting you to stop, I see you. And I certainly can relate. I applaud you on taking a chance on yourself, on embracing the steep learning curve on this platform, and for being a model for someone like me to be able to do the same.

Together, we are imperfectly perfect.
And done is better than… well… everything.

❤️ Catherine

You know the moments I am talking about, and you know that it’s in these moments that you’re creating the life you are living. For better or for worse.

And that might be fine for your past, but is it fine for your future?

This publication is where we look more closely at those moments to distinguish between what you habitually do, and what your heart might be nudging you to do. We look to understand and explore, as awareness is the first step in transformation.

What’s Really Going On Here? is a field guide, through my heart-first mindset and transformation coaching lens, to the hidden patterns shaping how accomplished women choose, communicate and change. All of our patterns are what makes up the identity we currently have, which give us the results we currenly experience. They got you here, but they won’t get you to your next phase…

When you’re about to make a change, or move into a new chapter of your life, or finally live the heart-aligned life you keep talking about you want, awareness around these patterns is your non-negotiable first step. Let’s take it together.

I write about the language we use without realizing what it reveals, the identities we slip into under pressure, and the everyday decisions that determine how fully we live, lead and express ourselves.

You’ll find explorations of:

• Tuning into your heart’s ability to lead the way

• Language patterns and decision-making that take you out of your body

• Identity under pressure and your nervous system

• Applied self-leadership and the art of following your own heart-led instructions

• The beliefs, habits and assumptions hiding beneath familiar behaviour

• What becomes possible when you see an old pattern clearly enough to choose differently

Some editions will be notes from the field, audio conversations, prompts for you to apply, videos or observations gathered from real women in real life.

This newsletter is intended to empower you to connect to your heart’s truth while bringing these patterns to light, and also remaining light. Change occurs when we don’t take ourselves too seriously, because we have big moves to make!!

And welcome welcome welcome!

About Catherine

I’m Catherine Farquharson, your heart-first mindset and identity coach, author, speaker and professional question-asker.

Since 2015, I have coached hundreds of women back to their heart’s truth and through the internal shifts to genuinely upgrade how they view themselves, how they make decisions, how they lead, communicate and create their lives.

My identity shifting work combines deep inquiry, transformation work on a coherent mental and somatic level, and practical self-development, with enough room for your heart’s intuition, curiosity and the occasional raised eyebrow.

I traded city life for the country, keep a journal close at all times and like my woo with its feet firmly on the ground. I help women finally create the lives they keep saying they want, as the only thing in their way is themselves.

To find out more about my offers, visit: www.mindsetcoaching.ca

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There will always be meaningful weekly content for Free subscribers. I want any and all subscribers to enjoy my newsletters, (aka “field notes”), and invitations to help move the needle for you in your life. Here is where our observations begin! You can also dive into the You Go First private podcast archive right away and start your personal inquiry. This is a great space to be.

If you want to move from “observer” into more of a participant, the Paid subscribers is where to go. With this membership subscription, you enter the community. This is where we play. Not only do I send you monthly audio activations (on topics of your request!), we also have deeper explorations, and access to paid-only material.

This is the place where change starts to happen…

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If you have ever caught yourself thinking, “I know what I’m doing, so why am I still doing this?”, you are in the right place.

If you have ever caught yourself thinking, “I think I am ready for more…”, you are in the right place.

If you have ever caught yourself thinking, “I think I’ve been living in my head too much…” you are in the right place.

Let’s take a closer look.

As you found your way to this podcast, there’s already a part of you that’s ready to look at yourself differently. Not in a big, dramatic way, but in the small, everyday moments where you might be leaving yourself out without even realizing it.

This conversation is about bringing that back into view.

You’ll start to notice it in simple places. The way you default to what someone else wants. The way you hold something back before it’s even fully formed. The way you move through your life without really including yourself in it.

There’s a moment in this episode, something as ordinary as deciding whether to add ketchup to a plate, that reveals just how subtle this can be. And once you see it, you can’t un-see it.Things will begin to shift.

That’s what you can expect here. Real conversations that bring your attention back to you, and help you realign to your personal power. It’s time to change how you show up in your own life.

You go first.