Helloooo! What the fuck is up, Denny’s?! Where the hell have I been? What the hell have I been doing? Truly, I have no excuse.

My boyfriend moved closer and suddenly I was too busy being in love to spend all my time on the internet. In my defense, we’ve been long distance for years and years, and now he’s only an hour away. It’s a weak defense, but frankly, it’s the only one I’ve got.

Anyway, enough about my personal life that literally nobody asked about. I’ve actually been watching a decent amount of movies, so let’s get into it.

Watched

Hoppers — Had a genuinely fun time with this. God willing, they leave it alone and don’t make a sequel.

Get Shorty — I truly can’t decide if I liked this movie. I watched the entire thing and still somehow have no real opinion about it. A very neutral viewing experience.

The Odyssey — Three hours. THREE. I enjoyed basically all of it, which is saying something, but I also have absolutely no desire to willingly sit through the entire thing again anytime soon.

The End of Oak Street — FINALLY. People getting eaten by dinosaurs left and right. This is the kind of shit I live for. It’s not perfect, but it was entertaining. And they went with ~lightly featherered~ dinosaurs which was nice.

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels — Always a fun rewatch. Some movies just have the exact right amount of camp to remain entertaining forever.

The Drama — Wanted to punch the Haim sister in the face. Her confession was WAY worse than Zendaya’s. Girl. What the hell.

Spider-Man: Brand New Day — Spider-Man has always been a pretty reliable franchise, so I’m cautiously optimistic. Still deeply wary of the MCU, but I’ll show up for Spidey. And I’m very ready for the X-Men to enter the chat.

Happy new yearrrrrr I ended up taking a break I didn’t plan it felt SO GOOD to not write for a little and just fuckin rest. Ended up having the best end of the year I could’ve ever asked for and therefore the best start of the year I could’ve asked for.

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A roundup of the films I watched against my will, the ones I loved against my better judgment, and the ones that reminded me why owning physical media is a moral imperative.

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Some months I watch films for enrichment. This month, I watched films to feel alive. A little gore, a little camp, a little nostalgia induced whiplash. Cinema is therapy. Also spent an entire week away from my computer and pretty much off my phone and I feel so. Freakin. Good.

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Horror season’s got me in a chokehold. Between classics and chaos, October’s watchlist hit every end of the spectrum. From Casper’s ghostly charm to Dracula’s gothic excess. Somewhere between Johnny Depp’s bed trauma and Victoria Beckham’s immaculate pouting, I achieved cinematic balance.

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Consider this week’s lineup my unofficial fall syllabus: history, horror, and a touch of wild energy. I’m just here to rewatch Spartacus and pretend The Witch counts as a wellness activity.

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Between the Bob’s Burgers adjacent humor of Haunted Hotel, the coziness of The Great North, and a movie that made me check my phone more than I should admit, this week’s screen time was a mix of background comfort and unexpected gems. The highlight? Watching DiCaprio absolutely commit to being unhinged.

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Downton wrapped things up with sweetness, Him served looks without substance, and Black Rabbit gave me Jason Bateman vehicular catharsis. I’ll call it a win since there has to be some astrological mumbo jumbo happening to kick my ass.

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Downton finally entered my queue, Laura Dern popped up out of nowhere, and The Long Walk broke me in the theater. On the book side, I’m slowly wading through the dense streets of Jade City.

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An excellent week for cameos, ensemble casts, and quirky mysteries. A not-so-excellent week for reading horror about horror.

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Anna Delvey, El Superbeasto, John Wick, and Fantastic Mr. Fox kept me busy until The Mummy inspired a hair crisis.

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This week brought to you by superheroes in therapy, a trip that will never leave my summer rotation, and books that either speed run themselves or collapse into soap operas. Balance? Never heard of her.

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There are plenty of iconic “guidance counselor” moments in pop culture: Mr. Feeny in Boy Meets World, Ms. Norbury in Mean Girls, even the chaotic but oddly wise Mr. Shapiro in Sex Education. But no one shaped my idea of how to navigate the treacherous path from teenager to adult quite like Daria Morgendorffer, who wasn’t a counselor at all.

Daria aired f…

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From The Naked Gun’s perfect stupidity to War of the Worlds’ baffling nothingness, a week of cinema that proves even bad movies are worth watching if only for the trivia, the chaos, or the promise of food.

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A week of long awaited returns, unexpected tonal shifts, and a theme park visit that doubled as an anthropological study.

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Aesthetics are emotional. Set design tells you where the character is, but more importantly, where their head is. Costume tells you what they think they are, who they want to be, who they’re afraid they are. Color palettes? Emotional barometers. And when it comes to coming of age stories, especially the weird, bittersweet, slightly surreal kind, aesthet…

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Somehow, MAC lipstick and hopeful superhero arcs are hitting the same emotional nerve. Maybe I’m just tired. Or maybe I’m craving the kind of fun I used to have at the movies, at the makeup counter, in my own head.

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A chaotic week in movies and real life: I watched a time loop, got stuck in one (emotionally), and remembered how hilariously weird mid 2010s cinema could be. Plus: job panic, pop up burnout, and free makeup. Small wins.

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In the pantheon of Quentin Tarantino's filmography, Death Proof (2007) stands as the director's most divisive work. Originally released as half of the Grindhouse double feature with Robert Rodriguez's Planet Terror, this homage to muscle car movies and slasher films regularly ranks at the bottom of Tarantino rankings. Yet beneath its seemingly straightf…

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This week’s media consumption was pure dopamine. I fell back into old favorites (Peacemaker, Lovecraft Country), doubled down on all things Dune, and spiraled into nostalgic Nancy Drew reads like I was ten again. There was also Nazi hunting, Julia Child, and a casual existential crisis triggered by Get Out. You know. Balance.

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